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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 2 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 SS SS SS 3 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 SS SS SS 4 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 SS SS SS 5 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 SS SS SS 6 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 SS SS SS 7 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 SS SS 8 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 SS SS SS CDC) 9 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:05.280 ii 10 00:00:07.000 --> 00:00:13.740 OpenSubtitles.org require your login in mx player for uploading subtitles, please login now 11 00:01:49.550 --> 00:01:51.535 How many stars sparkle in the sky? 12 00:01:51.925 --> 00:01:54.371 Ever tried counting them? 13 00:01:54.828 --> 00:02:02.303 It would take 6,000 years to count those in our galaxy alone 14 00:02:02.803 --> 00:02:04.942 How many such galaxies exist? 15 00:02:05.338 --> 00:02:08.979 Scientists reckon two billion more 16 00:02:09.476 --> 00:02:14.721 Isn't it possible that amongst these billions of celestial bodies 17 00:02:14.981 --> 00:02:18.485 a planet with people like us exists? 18 00:02:18.819 --> 00:02:22.596 As we explore space looking for them, 19 00:02:22.856 --> 00:02:27.305 couldn't they be coming here, looking for us? 20 00:04:27.781 --> 00:04:32.781 Hindi pop SONG 21 00:06:16.790 --> 00:06:21.330 What the thief stole was the gadget to recall his spaceship 22 00:06:21.494 --> 00:06:24.998 Without this remote he could not return home 23 00:06:25.432 --> 00:06:29.778 He neither knew our language, nor had a friend here 24 00:06:30.300 --> 00:06:33.974 Alone, anguished, his only thought was... 25 00:06:34.441 --> 00:06:36.352 ...how will I return home? 26 00:06:59.320 --> 00:07:04.243 On the pathway of Time Life is but a brief flame 27 00:07:05.238 --> 00:07:10.312 In its luminous mist We wish, we dream, we exist 28 00:07:10.777 --> 00:07:13.553 But on a beautiful bend 29 00:07:13.847 --> 00:07:16.589 A stranger may we meet 30 00:07:16.783 --> 00:07:19.821 Life after life 31 00:07:19.986 --> 00:07:23.263 Whose memory may persist 32 00:07:42.275 --> 00:07:44.160 Extra ticket. Anyone extra ticket? 33 00:07:44.277 --> 00:07:46.484 - Yes sir... - I'll take it! 34 00:07:47.280 --> 00:07:48.953 Sorry, I raised my hand first 35 00:07:49.150 --> 00:07:51.791 But I called out first 36 00:07:51.918 --> 00:07:54.899 I'm a big fan of Mr Bachchan, the poet 37 00:07:54.954 --> 00:07:57.730 rmlhfiurhldllnaon, lhondor 38 00:07:57.991 --> 00:08:00.801 Flllllulllunnmumw... “fiwumnhul 39 00:08:01.227 --> 00:08:04.231 From age five, I know his son's dialogues - without memorizing 40 00:08:04.264 --> 00:08:05.971 Hello, who wants it? 41 00:08:06.366 --> 00:08:08.710 Gwomo. Pouhybnotlloupdlnn 42 00:08:08.968 --> 00:08:10.276 €1OO 43 00:08:10.703 --> 00:08:14.241 €1OO for a €4O ticket? Black market of poetry! 44 00:08:14.374 --> 00:08:16.445 Six loinlgufigigsufigzor this 45 00:08:16.676 --> 00:08:17.916 Time is money 46 00:08:24.884 --> 00:08:29.731 - Go for the dialogues. - All yours. Ladies first 47 00:08:30.790 --> 00:08:33.532 I IQ “llifi? 48 00:08:33.793 --> 00:08:40.574 1st half you enjoy the poetry. 2nd half I'll savor the acting 49 00:08:41.868 --> 00:08:44.280 That's a damn good idea! 50 00:08:46.539 --> 00:08:48.348 10, N, N, II 51 00:08:48.408 --> 00:08:49.110 50 more 52 00:08:49.943 --> 00:08:50.978 -96 -96 53 00:08:52.779 --> 00:08:56.317 €96. How about a discount? We're from the same countn/ 54 00:08:56.449 --> 00:08:58.588 Hail India, bro! 55 00:08:58.651 --> 00:09:01.723 LIQIIUIIQHDH MN 56 00:09:03.723 --> 00:09:05.930 Extra ticket. Anyone extra ticket? 57 00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:08.338 Sir! 58 00:09:08.795 --> 00:09:11.241 Ca“ 'PTZZZZ'? a'? 59 00:09:11.431 --> 00:09:13.968 Keep my watch till I repay 60 00:09:14.234 --> 00:09:16.305 Please, Sir, it's the last ticket 61 00:09:16.469 --> 00:09:19.712 Show is sold out, child. No tickets left 62 00:09:20.240 --> 00:09:23.778 There is one left with that black marketer 63 00:09:24.377 --> 00:09:28.382 Scomrhll Ghriqlnfllhllllm 64 00:09:28.448 --> 00:09:29.358 So true! 65 00:09:29.582 --> 00:09:32.756 VKIHI. flfldylllllfllfi 66 00:09:32.819 --> 00:09:33.923 OK, Sir 67 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:35.390 flunk!!!" 68 00:09:44.731 --> 00:09:46.267 Yes! 69 00:09:57.710 --> 00:09:59.451 -8Il - Dolknowyou? 70 00:09:59.812 --> 00:10:01.180 Where's my ticket? 71 00:10:01.347 --> 00:10:04.294 'If? YQIIJIQAN 72 00:10:04.417 --> 00:10:06.328 You bloody cheat! 73 00:10:06.552 --> 00:10:08.964 Decaying dacoit! Senile snake! Capitalist! 74 00:10:09.220 --> 00:10:10.296 Mind your language! 75 00:10:10.323 --> 00:10:12.633 Mind your coat first! 76 00:10:13.860 --> 00:10:16.397 "Nwnlillllholhum -80olllyl 77 00:10:16.629 --> 00:10:18.905 - VVrinkled wreck! - Security! 78 00:10:19.599 --> 00:10:22.110 Let's get outta here 79 00:10:22.635 --> 00:10:25.309 I'll get you for this! 80 00:10:25.772 --> 00:10:28.130 Don't chase me... catch him! 81 00:10:42.210 --> 00:10:45.366 Oldies these days! It's a spoilt generation! 82 00:10:45.591 --> 00:10:48.435 Forget it 83 00:10:48.661 --> 00:10:49.639 How can I? 84 00:10:50.630 --> 00:10:52.543 That bandit basks in poetry and here I am 85 00:10:52.598 --> 00:10:53.599 "M: 86 00:10:55.335 --> 00:10:58.339 Why pine for the party that shuns us? 87 00:10:58.604 --> 00:11:01.778 Follow the moment that beckons us 88 00:11:02.275 --> 00:11:04.448 I too dabble in poetry 89 00:11:07.747 --> 00:11:13.561 y o ulqfloli.) Lggeotrg; rne 90 00:11:14.821 --> 00:11:16.823 - You crazy? - I mean it! 91 00:11:17.523 --> 00:11:19.366 Your favorite poet, senior Mr Bachchan 92 00:11:19.525 --> 00:11:22.301 met a lady one morning, wooed her with verse 93 00:11:22.595 --> 00:11:24.871 By duskstgelzfgvtéergdrnarried- 94 00:11:25.310 --> 00:11:26.408 Really? 95 00:11:26.766 --> 00:11:29.474 Lnaklnlliflipaanhlninl- 96 00:11:29.736 --> 00:11:31.841 Amitabh Bachchan - the great actor 97 00:11:33.740 --> 00:11:34.650 Jaggu 98 00:11:35.308 --> 00:11:36.480 Jaggu? 99 00:11:36.776 --> 00:11:37.777 Wining 100 00:11:38.110 --> 00:11:41.390 Papa named me Jagat Janani: world's mother 101 00:11:41.681 --> 00:11:45.686 I got mocked at school so I shortened it - Jaggu 102 00:11:46.190 --> 00:11:47.760 - From Mumbai? - No. Delhi 103 00:11:47.954 --> 00:11:49.695 I'm studying TV production 104 00:11:49.822 --> 00:11:50.892 nun"? 105 00:11:51.324 --> 00:11:53.998 Sarfaraz. I study architecture 106 00:11:54.694 --> 00:11:57.368 and work part time at the Pakistan Embassy 107 00:11:57.730 --> 00:11:59.676 Pakistan Embassy? Why? 108 00:12:00.330 --> 00:12:02.274 Well, I'm from Pakistan 109 00:12:02.468 --> 00:12:05.915 Unlikely the Indian Embassy will employ me! 110 00:12:08.408 --> 00:12:09.751 What's wrong? 111 00:12:10.443 --> 00:12:11.717 Nothing 112 00:12:15.515 --> 00:12:20.555 My being from Pakistan perturbs you? 113 00:12:22.889 --> 00:12:24.562 Alright then 114 00:12:24.991 --> 00:12:26.937 Goodbye 115 00:12:42.542 --> 00:12:48.618 Ask not my name, nor my country 116 00:12:49.449 --> 00:12:54.990 From bondage of borders break free 117 00:12:56.220 --> 00:13:01.563 fill on 118 00:13:02.295 --> 00:13:07.506 llllllllll. 119 00:13:17.577 --> 00:13:21.320 Ask not my name, nor my country 120 00:13:21.681 --> 00:13:24.753 From bondage of borders break free 121 00:13:25.551 --> 00:13:29.431 fill on 122 00:13:29.755 --> 00:13:32.895 llllllllll. 123 00:13:33.726 --> 00:13:37.333 Past the realms of word and speech 124 00:13:37.763 --> 00:13:40.767 Hand in hand, nowhere to reach 125 00:13:41.767 --> 00:13:45.305 fill on 126 00:13:45.771 --> 00:13:48.513 llllllllll. 127 00:13:49.308 --> 00:13:53.510 Past the realms of word and speech 128 00:13:53.813 --> 00:13:56.885 Hand in hand, nowhere to reach 129 00:13:57.950 --> 00:14:01.523 fill on 130 00:14:01.854 --> 00:14:05.768 llllllllll. 131 00:14:25.845 --> 00:14:29.588 If the sun scorches the pathway 132 00:14:29.882 --> 00:14:33.329 Iaifi 133 00:14:33.786 --> 00:14:37.598 If darkness fifls you with dismay 134 00:14:37.890 --> 00:14:41.497 I'M conjure up a moon in the sky 135 00:14:41.894 --> 00:14:45.603 lflflnfip WWW 136 00:14:45.932 --> 00:14:49.470 With laughter H! shoo it away 137 00:14:49.936 --> 00:14:53.645 Laughing, frolicking, humming a song 138 00:14:53.906 --> 00:14:57.410 I “Hm” 139 00:15:15.728 --> 00:15:19.369 KIW- mgpwlunhl' 140 00:15:19.699 --> 00:15:22.578 Nothing in this world I fear 141 00:15:23.603 --> 00:15:27.551 Why a few steps, a whole lifelong 142 00:15:27.740 --> 00:15:30.914 With you I'll walk along 143 00:15:31.510 --> 00:15:35.390 Past the realms of word and speech 144 00:15:35.681 --> 00:15:38.958 Hand in hand, nowhere to reach 145 00:15:39.685 --> 00:15:43.428 fill on 146 00:15:43.723 --> 00:15:47.535 llllllllll. 147 00:16:29.268 --> 00:16:31.270 - Thank you - Thank you 148 00:16:32.405 --> 00:16:33.440 Mom! 149 00:16:33.506 --> 00:16:34.382 Papa! 150 00:16:34.440 --> 00:16:35.919 She's fallen in love! 151 00:16:36.475 --> 00:16:38.648 Fallen in love? 152 00:16:39.278 --> 00:16:40.416 He's so cute! 153 00:16:40.813 --> 00:16:41.985 More photos please! 154 00:16:42.448 --> 00:16:44.951 'I/Vhafs his job? 'i/Vhafs his family like? 155 00:16:45.584 --> 00:16:47.495 XIIKIIXIL flflyu 156 00:16:47.720 --> 00:16:49.722 First, the name 157 00:16:50.220 --> 00:16:51.592 Sarfaraz 158 00:16:51.957 --> 00:16:53.800 Muslim? 159 00:16:54.527 --> 00:16:58.304 Yes. Studies architecture. Family is in Pakistan 160 00:16:58.464 --> 00:17:00.705 Pakistan! Which Pakistan? 161 00:17:00.933 --> 00:17:02.503 There's just one Pakistan, Mom 162 00:17:02.702 --> 00:17:03.578 You'll wear burkhas? 163 00:17:03.836 --> 00:17:05.873 Read the Quran? Have you gone mad? 164 00:17:06.500 --> 00:17:08.884 B°"'“'?'an:url'"' 165 00:17:09.241 --> 00:17:10.515 Stan the car 166 00:17:10.776 --> 00:17:12.756 Alnhulldfihlfii. “ii. 167 00:17:13.312 --> 00:17:15.815 I knew exactly where Papa was headed 168 00:17:16.248 --> 00:17:20.628 Since childhood one face had surrounded us: His Holiness 169 00:17:20.786 --> 00:17:22.459 Bye Mom 170 00:17:23.255 --> 00:17:25.929 From bags to bathroom walls, 171 00:17:26.325 --> 00:17:29.329 he was omnipresent 172 00:17:30.396 --> 00:17:35.277 Even for a root canal he would set the auspicious time 173 00:17:36.769 --> 00:17:41.741 He had gifted Papa a God box with a deity for every task 174 00:17:42.808 --> 00:17:46.722 Goddess of Wealth for the stock market 175 00:17:47.780 --> 00:17:51.785 God of Health for workouts 176 00:17:52.418 --> 00:17:55.627 Web-based worship and sacred sweets by courier 177 00:17:55.821 --> 00:17:59.894 were his innovations 178 00:18:03.796 --> 00:18:06.834 Hail, Your Holiness 179 00:18:08.868 --> 00:18:10.370 Hail, Your Holiness 180 00:18:12.438 --> 00:18:14.816 Touch his feet Jaggu 181 00:18:24.417 --> 00:18:28.263 Why this fatal infatuation? 182 00:18:28.587 --> 00:18:31.830 Pick up a pen and write 183 00:18:32.324 --> 00:18:33.632 God 184 00:18:34.593 --> 00:18:36.402 Enlighten me 185 00:18:41.000 --> 00:18:42.570 Yin... 186 00:18:43.969 --> 00:18:45.312 Yin... 187 00:18:46.338 --> 00:18:48.682 Your wish is our command 188 00:18:49.375 --> 00:18:51.355 Write down the prophecy 189 00:18:51.644 --> 00:18:53.715 This Pakistani boy, 190 00:18:53.979 --> 00:18:55.583 Sarfaraz, 191 00:18:56.849 --> 00:18:58.294 will betray you 192 00:18:58.484 --> 00:19:00.623 I know he won't 193 00:19:02.288 --> 00:19:08.705 History stands witness: these people scheme and betray 194 00:19:08.894 --> 00:19:12.569 He will pursue carnal pleasures 195 00:19:12.665 --> 00:19:15.908 But will never marry you. He'll vanish 196 00:19:16.302 --> 00:19:20.910 Come home now! One more night there, and you're dead to us 197 00:19:20.973 --> 00:19:23.920 Mr Sahni, I'll talk to her 198 00:19:24.477 --> 00:19:27.947 Child, hit the delete button 199 00:19:28.514 --> 00:19:31.518 Banish him from your system 200 00:19:35.721 --> 00:19:37.291 Hello! 201 00:19:39.558 --> 00:19:40.935 What happened? 202 00:19:42.528 --> 00:19:44.303 Do you love me? 203 00:19:44.797 --> 00:19:46.470 Of course I do. Vkfhy? 204 00:19:47.333 --> 00:19:50.280 - Will you marn/ me? - What's the matter? 205 00:19:50.402 --> 00:19:51.403 Yes or no, Sarfaraz? 206 00:19:51.670 --> 00:19:53.581 - Yes, but... - Tomorrow 207 00:19:55.508 --> 00:19:57.647 Tomorrow we get married 208 00:19:58.811 --> 00:20:02.349 r- Dig-in?'- 209 00:20:15.528 --> 00:20:18.532 Mr James Herrick and Miss Oprah Brown, you're next 210 00:20:18.797 --> 00:20:21.744 - James isn't here, yet. - Oh, talk to the registrar 211 00:20:22.701 --> 00:20:24.510 Could you just hold this please? 212 00:20:24.770 --> 00:20:25.976 - Yes of course. - Thank you 213 00:20:27.439 --> 00:20:28.713 Hello... 214 00:20:30.509 --> 00:20:31.783 This is for you 215 00:20:32.511 --> 00:20:33.956 ' W625? 216 00:20:34.446 --> 00:20:35.823 Flunk!!!" 217 00:20:40.686 --> 00:20:41.892 It was from Sarfaraz 218 00:20:42.488 --> 00:20:45.560 He said: marriage isn't just between individuals, but families 219 00:20:45.925 --> 00:20:48.906 Our faiths, countries, cultures are different 220 00:20:49.428 --> 00:20:51.874 We can never be happy if our families are unhappy 221 00:20:52.310 --> 00:20:54.477 Don't try to contact me 222 00:20:54.700 --> 00:20:56.770 mill'! 223 00:21:16.822 --> 00:21:18.495 Where to go young ladV? 224 00:21:19.291 --> 00:21:19.928 New Delhi 225 00:21:24.296 --> 00:21:28.335 I came back to my city, but my parents refused to see me 226 00:21:28.534 --> 00:21:30.480 Ljdannllndlfllld 227 00:21:30.736 --> 00:21:32.909 Today's story: a depressed dog 228 00:21:33.305 --> 00:21:34.579 That's our breaking news! 229 00:21:34.907 --> 00:21:38.480 Some days we had news, some days we fabricated it 230 00:21:58.864 --> 00:22:02.400 Missing: God 231 00:22:02.935 --> 00:22:05.711 If found, contact Tipsy 232 00:22:09.475 --> 00:22:11.887 There's a story in this man. I'll see you at office 233 00:22:12.277 --> 00:22:13.881 Don't be late! 234 00:22:27.459 --> 00:22:28.563 Excuse me? 235 00:22:28.927 --> 00:22:30.565 Why are you handing these out? 236 00:22:31.330 --> 00:22:33.310 I have a case pending with Him 237 00:22:33.532 --> 00:22:35.512 He neither solves it, nor meets me 238 00:22:35.801 --> 00:22:38.800 My life is kaput 239 00:22:39.304 --> 00:22:41.841 He's gone into hiding 240 00:22:43.308 --> 00:22:45.549 Have you seen Him around? 241 00:22:46.545 --> 00:22:48.354 L\l0 242 00:22:50.916 --> 00:22:59.495 Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother 243 00:22:59.658 --> 00:23:03.936 Hail Goddess, Hail Holy Mother 244 00:23:04.329 --> 00:23:06.536 By the way, what's with the helmet? 245 00:23:06.865 --> 00:23:08.811 Got the idea from taxi-tops 246 00:23:09.301 --> 00:23:11.907 Yellow yells out from miles 247 00:23:12.337 --> 00:23:15.341 Taxis are spotted easily in traffic 248 00:23:15.741 --> 00:23:19.279 -80? -8oGodclllpdnl0ql 249 00:23:19.545 --> 00:23:23.652 How else will he spot me in this crowd? 250 00:23:31.857 --> 00:23:34.394 Annapurna-wild! 251 00:23:34.593 --> 00:23:35.867 Ok, background? 252 00:23:36.462 --> 00:23:37.805 Cue .3899“ 253 00:23:38.664 --> 00:23:41.508 Thvllw uimlnuumuuu 254 00:23:41.834 --> 00:23:45.941 Here's Nikku. Mr Sweetie Singh's dog 255 00:23:46.605 --> 00:23:50.520 Nikku has attempted suicide thrice 256 00:23:50.309 --> 00:23:55.850 Jumping off a roof, licking sleeping pills, hopping onto a gas burner 257 00:23:56.315 --> 00:23:58.352 What's wrong with Nikku? 258 00:23:58.450 --> 00:24:01.590 Is Nikku prey to a mental problem? 259 00:24:02.287 --> 00:24:03.595 Is Nikku... 260 00:24:05.758 --> 00:24:07.499 What's wrong Jaggu? 261 00:24:07.893 --> 00:24:09.634 What is this shit, Mitu? 262 00:24:13.866 --> 00:24:17.370 Our chat with famed industrialist Mr Ratan continues 263 00:24:17.436 --> 00:24:19.279 right after this break 264 00:24:20.572 --> 00:24:22.813 Going we“, Raven'? Some coffee'? 265 00:24:23.275 --> 00:24:24.549 Get him some coffee 266 00:24:24.710 --> 00:24:26.781 - Cherry... - Oh no! 267 00:24:26.912 --> 00:24:30.382 What's your guess? This dog has depression, anxiety disorder, 268 00:24:30.582 --> 00:24:33.825 schizophrenia, or ADHD? 269 00:24:34.353 --> 00:24:35.957 Re? 270 00:24:36.288 --> 00:24:37.289 Exactly 271 00:24:37.489 --> 00:24:42.302 Why would anyone care? Then why do we air such bull? 272 00:24:42.995 --> 00:24:44.838 What would you rather air? 273 00:24:44.963 --> 00:24:47.307 Hold him please 274 00:24:49.100 --> 00:24:50.360 See this? 275 00:24:50.435 --> 00:24:53.507 I met a guy distributing these pamphlets 276 00:24:53.872 --> 00:24:56.648 - He is searching for God. - Found Him? 277 00:24:57.309 --> 00:24:58.811 No... Ill 278 00:24:58.911 --> 00:25:03.257 Searching for God - that's religion. Finding God - that's news 279 00:25:03.282 --> 00:25:05.762 If he finds God, get him. I'll put him on air 280 00:25:05.984 --> 00:25:07.827 You know the Company policy 281 00:25:08.253 --> 00:25:10.563 No news on religion, no news on God. Finished 282 00:25:11.256 --> 00:25:12.462 Man, you've changed! 283 00:25:12.825 --> 00:25:14.896 Where's the fighter, Chern/ Bajwa? 284 00:25:15.394 --> 00:25:17.772 You wanna see the fighter? 285 00:25:18.397 --> 00:25:19.876 Take a good look 286 00:25:20.432 --> 00:25:22.810 There are three marks here 287 00:25:23.368 --> 00:25:24.813 These aren't birthmarks 288 00:25:24.937 --> 00:25:29.352 'Iliiflluinrlnruunn, vwnuheuu 289 00:25:29.608 --> 00:25:32.851 His devotees shoved a trident right here in my bum 290 00:25:33.345 --> 00:25:35.757 Anchor coming to you in 10 seconds 291 00:25:35.881 --> 00:25:38.487 "Iii I - 292 00:25:38.750 --> 00:25:40.457 chflllivllfil. 'his! 293 00:25:40.586 --> 00:25:42.566 Jhgatldluwbnnnow -6...4... 294 00:25:42.654 --> 00:25:43.291 3... 295 00:25:43.322 --> 00:25:44.270 2... 296 00:25:44.456 --> 00:25:44.957 'I... 297 00:25:45.457 --> 00:25:46.561 Welcome back from the break 298 00:25:46.792 --> 00:25:49.830 We were chatting with famed industrialist Mr Ratan... 299 00:25:50.280 --> 00:25:52.907 The boss killed my story 300 00:25:53.298 --> 00:25:57.303 But it came back to life two weeks later 301 00:26:37.476 --> 00:26:39.615 [ DONATION BOX] 302 00:26:45.550 --> 00:26:47.461 Stop! Thief! 303 00:26:47.786 --> 00:26:51.791 He's stealing from the donation box! 304 00:27:09.574 --> 00:27:10.951 Don't let him go! 305 00:27:18.450 --> 00:27:20.953 Lifting from the donation box, you fool? 306 00:27:21.253 --> 00:27:21.754 Yes 307 00:27:21.820 --> 00:27:23.595 He's no thief! 308 00:27:23.922 --> 00:27:27.335 VVhile donating my wallet fell in the box 309 00:27:27.426 --> 00:27:29.702 He was getting it out for me 310 00:27:30.429 --> 00:27:31.567 Trust me 311 00:27:31.830 --> 00:27:36.438 Check for yourself. It has Rs 5,000 in it 312 00:27:52.851 --> 00:27:54.626 ' TTe-'figine' 313 00:27:54.886 --> 00:27:57.250 Once in the box, it's donated 314 00:27:57.422 --> 00:28:00.426 Now, it's God's. Let them go 315 00:28:01.426 --> 00:28:03.906 Dude, what the hell were you up to? 316 00:28:03.962 --> 00:28:05.407 Claiming my refund 317 00:28:05.564 --> 00:28:07.475 God took His fee but didn't deliver 318 00:28:07.532 --> 00:28:09.239 "h! on... 319 00:28:09.701 --> 00:28:13.672 I saw you fish out some money, then put some back in 320 00:28:13.739 --> 00:28:18.586 I took back what I'd paid at this branch. Returned the rest 321 00:28:19.578 --> 00:28:21.717 You used to wear beads and amulets? 322 00:28:21.780 --> 00:28:23.851 Rejected. Gone for good 323 00:28:24.349 --> 00:28:26.852 Why the stickers then? 324 00:28:27.419 --> 00:28:29.592 Self-defense! 325 00:28:30.322 --> 00:28:33.326 God pics on walls - prevent peeing 326 00:28:33.558 --> 00:28:36.698 on face - prevent punches 327 00:28:42.667 --> 00:28:44.271 Mitu, where are you? 328 00:28:44.503 --> 00:28:46.881 PQIIIIP- hnmnnnlyblliWm 329 00:28:47.339 --> 00:28:48.545 I'll fill you in later 330 00:28:48.807 --> 00:28:52.311 I'm at Mudrika, outside the temple 331 00:28:52.744 --> 00:28:54.746 Hun. 'Blight 332 00:28:58.283 --> 00:29:01.321 - For what? - For the ride home 333 00:29:01.653 --> 00:29:06.261 When someone can't get home, I feel sad 334 00:29:07.893 --> 00:29:11.272 ma. mun-um 335 00:29:11.530 --> 00:29:13.567 I can't accept this 336 00:29:13.932 --> 00:29:17.846 "In? dlhflyulmdlbfihmll? 337 00:29:22.441 --> 00:29:26.253 Money can't get me home 338 00:29:26.378 --> 00:29:29.325 Why'? Where do you Ywe'? 339 00:29:37.289 --> 00:29:40.793 In the step-well ruins 340 00:29:41.960 --> 00:29:46.966 But in this rainy season, I check into a lock-up 341 00:29:47.699 --> 00:29:50.305 AnhpoloQlock-lql? 342 00:29:50.535 --> 00:29:54.278 There are 122 in the city. I yo-yo between them 343 00:29:54.473 --> 00:29:57.716 And they let you check in, like a hotel? 344 00:29:57.976 --> 00:30:00.582 Rlflllbyuuadnnno 345 00:30:04.282 --> 00:30:05.886 [Signi DO NOT URINATE HERE] 346 00:30:09.855 --> 00:30:11.425 Just watch! 347 00:30:12.424 --> 00:30:14.995 [Signi DO NOT URINATE HERE] 348 00:30:15.427 --> 00:30:18.431 Hey, copper - look here proper! 349 00:30:33.678 --> 00:30:36.220 I'll show you proper! 350 00:30:45.924 --> 00:30:47.597 Jaggu! 351 00:30:50.362 --> 00:30:52.364 We have to follow that van 352 00:30:52.464 --> 00:30:55.445 -"-':'.':.1""'? 353 00:31:09.648 --> 00:31:12.458 Gimme your wallet. I need cash 354 00:31:13.552 --> 00:31:15.896 M. BIO 355 00:31:28.400 --> 00:31:29.708 Excuse me? 356 00:31:30.702 --> 00:31:31.612 Yes? 357 00:31:31.770 --> 00:31:34.410 I want to go inside the lock-up 358 00:31:34.539 --> 00:31:35.745 Why'? 359 00:31:36.641 --> 00:31:38.814 To meet that guy 360 00:31:40.512 --> 00:31:43.490 You think this is the local coffee joint, huh? 361 00:31:43.315 --> 00:31:46.660 Saunter in and chillax with your buddies? 362 00:31:46.918 --> 00:31:48.454 This is a lock-up, get it? 363 00:31:48.853 --> 00:31:52.665 Only offenders get in 364 00:31:54.492 --> 00:31:56.597 Bribing is an offence! 365 00:31:57.395 --> 00:32:00.342 That's why I'm committing it! 366 00:32:00.432 --> 00:32:01.410 I can lock you in 367 00:32:01.466 --> 00:32:03.571 Please do... ASAP! 368 00:32:10.775 --> 00:32:13.813 - Thank you, Mr Pandey. - One hour, that's it 369 00:32:13.979 --> 00:32:15.515 I-li 370 00:32:16.681 --> 00:32:21.270 I want your story. Will you share it? 371 00:32:21.886 --> 00:32:22.762 Why'? 372 00:32:23.210 --> 00:32:26.332 PIIIQTUIIZI-bl; 373 00:32:38.870 --> 00:32:43.717 - Go on, ask. - Awesome! 374 00:32:48.513 --> 00:32:50.754 Your name? 375 00:32:51.616 --> 00:32:53.527 Don't have a name 376 00:32:53.618 --> 00:32:56.326 The' Siltifiqliiii, "em" 377 00:32:56.388 --> 00:32:58.766 And what do you do? 378 00:33:00.992 --> 00:33:03.404 I'm an astronaut 379 00:33:04.963 --> 00:33:06.567 Astronaut! 380 00:33:06.831 --> 00:33:09.277 Those who shoot off to the moon? 381 00:33:09.567 --> 00:33:12.776 Been there once. It's kaput 382 00:33:14.439 --> 00:33:15.975 Sure! 383 00:33:16.641 --> 00:33:18.450 So what's your favorite planet? 384 00:33:18.510 --> 00:33:21.491 401mm. dmaulhoaldnoklh? 385 00:33:21.713 --> 00:33:23.750 Eaflh is mega-kaput 386 00:33:23.982 --> 00:33:26.553 I meant my own planet 387 00:33:30.288 --> 00:33:34.293 It'll show up there at night 388 00:33:34.759 --> 00:33:37.000 We went bananas, 389 00:33:37.462 --> 00:33:42.411 when we found another planet with people like us 390 00:33:42.967 --> 00:33:45.538 'IN 391 00:33:45.670 --> 00:33:47.581 Boy, what a welcome I got! 392 00:33:47.839 --> 00:33:50.120 My remote got robbed 393 00:33:50.842 --> 00:33:54.380 loflflnblflllqrpnapli 394 00:33:54.446 --> 00:33:57.586 and without a signal they won't come for me 395 00:33:57.882 --> 00:34:00.556 They'll think it's a perilous planet 396 00:34:00.719 --> 00:34:03.359 That I'm dead as a dodo 397 00:34:07.792 --> 00:34:08.600 Hello! 398 00:34:08.827 --> 00:34:10.272 - Listen . . . - What? 399 00:34:10.528 --> 00:34:12.700 Ldlnooll. lullhgolnlm 400 00:34:12.430 --> 00:34:16.401 Your Highness, convicts don't decide that. Cops do 401 00:34:16.568 --> 00:34:17.945 I'm not a thief 402 00:34:18.269 --> 00:34:19.680 So say all the thieves 403 00:34:19.971 --> 00:34:22.272 Where's officer Pandey? 404 00:34:22.273 --> 00:34:23.809 Out on his rounds 405 00:34:24.542 --> 00:34:26.283 Officer Pandey! 406 00:34:27.379 --> 00:34:27.857 Officer Pandey! 407 00:34:27.912 --> 00:34:30.984 Shut up, or you get a knuckle sandwich 408 00:34:50.735 --> 00:34:53.579 'Mill Pmilfifll? 409 00:34:54.305 --> 00:34:55.784 Obviously! 410 00:34:56.307 --> 00:34:58.480 Is Hindi the official language of your planet? 411 00:34:58.576 --> 00:35:00.385 On our planet... 412 00:35:00.945 --> 00:35:03.653 ...there's no language! 413 00:35:03.948 --> 00:35:06.656 We read minds. There's no confusion 414 00:35:06.885 --> 00:35:09.866 Here, you utter something and mean something else 415 00:35:09.921 --> 00:35:12.299 A two-letter word can have four different meanings 416 00:35:12.724 --> 00:35:17.537 When you nod and say “oh“, it means “Oh, that's cool“ 417 00:35:18.797 --> 00:35:22.600 When your eyes pop out, "oh!" means bad news 418 00:35:22.434 --> 00:35:25.278 “Your mother-in-law is moving in.“ “Oh!“ 419 00:35:26.337 --> 00:35:28.749 When angry, you thunder 420 00:35:29.700 --> 00:35:32.477 "Oh! You'll pay for that blunder!" 421 00:35:32.811 --> 00:35:35.724 A“ W"$:.:; 00:35:38.892 "Ohhhhhhh! I see!" 423 00:35:39.818 --> 00:35:43.270 As you hear the words, you gotta watch the expression 424 00:35:43.288 --> 00:35:45.290 to get the real meaning 425 00:35:45.356 --> 00:35:49.498 Iihhd 'IatllQMIQbZI-III 426 00:35:49.627 --> 00:35:52.733 A whole language in 6 hours? 427 00:35:52.797 --> 00:35:55.403 No one let me hold hands 428 00:35:55.834 --> 00:35:57.973 Finally, a nice lady lent her hand 429 00:35:58.360 --> 00:36:01.916 I held it and transferred her language into my system 430 00:36:01.973 --> 00:36:06.854 Man, there's no limit to your whoppers! 431 00:36:06.945 --> 00:36:09.482 Is your hand a USB cable, 432 00:36:09.747 --> 00:36:13.490 that transfers files between computers? 433 00:36:13.785 --> 00:36:17.528 And your clothes? Are faded jeans the rage on your planet too? 434 00:36:17.689 --> 00:36:19.259 Noooo! 435 00:36:19.524 --> 00:36:20.662 On our planet... 436 00:36:20.892 --> 00:36:24.931 ...no one wears clothes. There we go bare 437 00:36:25.396 --> 00:36:28.275 Here, at first I thought 438 00:36:28.766 --> 00:36:32.270 your skins were different from ours 439 00:36:32.770 --> 00:36:34.943 Some had sparkly hides, 440 00:36:35.273 --> 00:36:37.879 some jet black 441 00:36:38.943 --> 00:36:41.924 Some hides were colorful, some white 442 00:36:42.847 --> 00:36:46.852 Some hides sticky- tigh t, some baggy 443 00:36:48.887 --> 00:36:51.800 Then one day I found a car 444 00:36:52.230 --> 00:36:53.400 A dancing car 445 00:36:59.597 --> 00:37:04.979 That day I realized our skins were the same 446 00:37:05.370 --> 00:37:10.251 but yours are covered with a thing called fashion 447 00:37:15.513 --> 00:37:18.289 Radio Commercial 448 00:37:18.449 --> 00:37:21.726 Now I could mingle 449 00:37:21.986 --> 00:37:25.729 Yet I was mocked 450 00:37:26.524 --> 00:37:29.835 Latina- lflnlglflvmlll 451 00:37:30.995 --> 00:37:32.599 Slowly I got it 452 00:37:32.730 --> 00:37:35.768 There's man - fashion and woman - fashion 453 00:37:36.568 --> 00:37:37.842 There was day fashion... 454 00:37:38.269 --> 00:37:39.771 ...and night fashion 455 00:37:40.271 --> 00:37:41.511 Sporting fashion... 456 00:37:41.539 --> 00:37:43.314 ...and serving fashion 457 00:37:46.311 --> 00:37:50.282 With the clothes, I found some photos 458 00:38:02.594 --> 00:38:07.976 It hit me - these photos meant survival 459 00:38:08.766 --> 00:38:11.576 'huoufi xlunlrlnd 460 00:38:11.736 --> 00:38:15.240 Sol built a portfolio of this old man's photos 461 00:38:30.822 --> 00:38:32.597 What's this? 462 00:38:36.728 --> 00:38:39.400 What are these for? 463 00:38:41.499 --> 00:38:44.605 If Illytbynufllriqlll. 464 00:38:47.271 --> 00:38:49.615 Right! Now we're talking! 465 00:38:49.874 --> 00:38:51.649 Here you go 466 00:38:52.644 --> 00:38:56.786 I got it: this photo had value on just one kind of paper 467 00:38:57.315 --> 00:39:01.525 On any other paper, it was worthless 468 00:39:03.721 --> 00:39:07.294 For cash and clothes, dancing cars were widely available 469 00:39:07.425 --> 00:39:10.497 They were my bank, they were my tailor! 470 00:39:12.330 --> 00:39:14.640 Once, I got such magnetic afiire 471 00:39:14.866 --> 00:39:17.847 that no photos were needed 472 00:39:17.902 --> 00:39:20.246 Food was puffed to me 473 00:39:20.405 --> 00:39:22.248 For you, Sir 474 00:39:24.475 --> 00:39:28.446 Now, to find my remote, I had to learn this planet's language 475 00:39:28.613 --> 00:39:31.719 Hindi Ivnryhlrunclild 476 00:39:32.250 --> 00:39:33.786 Like telling this gentleman 477 00:39:33.918 --> 00:39:37.559 there was a defect in his fashion 478 00:39:44.429 --> 00:39:47.706 I felt I had spoilt his fashion 479 00:39:49.367 --> 00:39:52.405 So I put it back where it was 480 00:40:13.424 --> 00:40:19.397 [Radio Announcement] 481 00:40:23.301 --> 00:40:24.780 Found him on the road 482 00:40:25.436 --> 00:40:27.507 Some scumbag hit him and bolted 483 00:40:28.306 --> 00:40:30.343 Seems pretty okay, 484 00:40:31.509 --> 00:40:33.614 but isn't responding 485 00:40:34.445 --> 00:40:36.755 Has his eardrum called it a day? 486 00:40:37.480 --> 00:40:38.994 Are you deaf? 487 00:40:39.517 --> 00:40:42.930 Can hear alright, but isn't talking 488 00:40:43.621 --> 00:40:45.828 Seems in a state of shock 489 00:40:46.570 --> 00:40:49.334 Memory loss, I'm afraid 490 00:40:59.837 --> 00:41:02.818 Rumunlaulhoaullllfl IIIIIIYIII? 491 00:41:05.900 --> 00:41:07.421 Remember the license plate? 492 00:41:08.546 --> 00:41:11.755 Remember anything at all? 493 00:41:40.440 --> 00:41:43.514 Come my friend. Come with me 494 00:41:44.649 --> 00:41:48.654 Be my guest till you get your memory back 495 00:41:50.822 --> 00:41:52.893 Keep slamming your head 496 00:41:53.357 --> 00:41:58.670 One knock took your memory away, another might bring it back 497 00:41:58.863 --> 00:42:00.467 Seen it in the movies 498 00:42:00.531 --> 00:42:02.875 To figure what he was yapping about, 499 00:42:02.934 --> 00:42:07.314 I had to hold his hand and transfer his language 500 00:42:09.574 --> 00:42:11.281 "Ill 501 00:42:12.844 --> 00:42:16.291 With memon/ loss your gender sense went for a toss? 502 00:42:16.514 --> 00:42:17.424 Wait a moment... 503 00:42:18.482 --> 00:42:19.893 See this - my license 504 00:42:20.384 --> 00:42:21.795 Sex: MALE 505 00:42:22.286 --> 00:42:22.855 U." 506 00:42:23.287 --> 00:42:25.961 rogue, rascal, scumbag 507 00:42:27.625 --> 00:42:32.631 To return home I had to hold someohe's hand 508 00:42:48.679 --> 00:42:52.684 Here comes my zany guest 509 00:42:55.820 --> 00:42:59.461 Can't tell guy from gal Happily hits on all 510 00:43:02.793 --> 00:43:05.899 Here comes my zany guest 511 00:43:06.364 --> 00:43:09.573 Can't tell guy from gal Happily hits on all 512 00:43:09.800 --> 00:43:13.373 Your frantic antics if not stilled, will surely get me killed! 513 00:43:13.537 --> 00:43:16.347 Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge 514 00:43:17.275 --> 00:43:23.954 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 515 00:43:25.549 --> 00:43:33.297 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 516 00:44:09.994 --> 00:44:13.703 Tourist in tacky gear are you from near or far 517 00:44:13.864 --> 00:44:17.400 From Mumbai, Madrid or Madagascar 518 00:44:17.568 --> 00:44:20.708 Tourist in tacky gear are you from near or far 519 00:44:20.905 --> 00:44:24.284 From Mumbai, Madrid or Madagascar 520 00:44:24.342 --> 00:44:31.351 What was your name at school Was it nerdy or was it cool? 521 00:44:31.515 --> 00:44:38.296 What was your name at school Was it nerdy or was it cool? 522 00:44:38.556 --> 00:44:42.260 What's the zip code Of your abode 523 00:44:42.393 --> 00:44:45.772 Did you alight from a cloud Or sprout from underground 524 00:44:45.830 --> 00:44:49.471 Your frantic antics if not stilled, will surely get me killed! 525 00:44:49.700 --> 00:44:52.476 Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge 526 00:44:53.304 --> 00:45:00.313 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 527 00:45:02.246 --> 00:45:08.527 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 528 00:45:10.921 --> 00:45:14.835 This memory loss is a blessing 529 00:45:18.262 --> 00:45:21.402 This memory loss is a blessing 530 00:45:21.499 --> 00:45:24.878 Feuds forgotten lenders lefi guessing 531 00:45:24.969 --> 00:45:26.539 Lovable lad 532 00:45:26.804 --> 00:45:28.374 Innocent cad 533 00:45:28.806 --> 00:45:31.844 Don't be a scourge Do curb your urge 534 00:45:32.443 --> 00:45:38.553 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 535 00:45:41.318 --> 00:45:47.860 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 536 00:46:17.855 --> 00:46:24.295 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 537 00:46:24.628 --> 00:46:26.403 Here comes the lusty lad! 538 00:46:26.530 --> 00:46:27.873 Here comes the lusty lad! 539 00:46:27.932 --> 00:46:31.379 Here comes the lusty lad My guest with this crazy fad 540 00:46:41.412 --> 00:46:43.517 I feel your pain, bro 541 00:46:43.981 --> 00:46:45.824 But don't go grabbing hands 542 00:46:46.851 --> 00:46:51.732 You may end up in bed, but most likely a hospital bed 543 00:46:54.992 --> 00:46:58.804 Don't give up, I know place for you 544 00:47:10.774 --> 00:47:14.244 Hand, foot - hold whatever 545 00:47:14.411 --> 00:47:16.254 No one will bash you here 546 00:47:16.514 --> 00:47:17.549 Come 547 00:47:17.781 --> 00:47:22.526 What a neighborhood! Virtuous, welcoming women 548 00:47:22.920 --> 00:47:26.367 All reaching for my hand, inviting me home 549 00:47:26.690 --> 00:47:30.968 Here I met a serene and gentle woman, Pepper 550 00:47:31.262 --> 00:47:34.800 Pepper, take him to the honeymoon suite 551 00:48:23.948 --> 00:48:25.985 Pepper sat patiently all night 552 00:48:26.350 --> 00:48:31.424 For fufl 6 hours, I transferred her language files 553 00:48:31.855 --> 00:48:37.362 - XYZ- ldslagdllfil 554 00:48:47.805 --> 00:48:52.845 First time')... Kaput before you kicked off? 555 00:48:57.982 --> 00:48:59.984 Y...y... ylll 556 00:49:01.385 --> 00:49:03.831 VVhere are you from? 557 00:49:06.790 --> 00:49:09.361 Far, far away 558 00:49:10.261 --> 00:49:13.299 From an unheard of village 559 00:49:13.497 --> 00:49:15.943 But you speak my lingo! 560 00:49:16.467 --> 00:49:21.314 Boolnollnlllllinlnyou, Slur 561 00:49:21.405 --> 00:49:25.319 Sister! You think this is a convent? Out! 562 00:49:27.444 --> 00:49:28.286 Bro! 563 00:49:29.513 --> 00:49:31.493 Bro, wake up! 564 00:49:32.283 --> 00:49:33.660 Bro, wake up! 565 00:49:34.451 --> 00:49:35.327 Bro! 566 00:49:36.654 --> 00:49:38.258 You're talking! 567 00:49:38.289 --> 00:49:40.895 Bro, I need your help 568 00:49:41.258 --> 00:49:43.295 Pepper cleared up your throat! 569 00:49:43.460 --> 00:49:45.269 Bro, come with me quick 570 00:49:45.296 --> 00:49:48.400 Memory and making out have a direct connection! 571 00:49:48.832 --> 00:49:53.303 Update the docs: get laid, get well! 572 00:49:53.404 --> 00:49:55.748 It's urgent, bro! 573 00:49:55.939 --> 00:49:56.974 Okay, let's go 574 00:50:04.281 --> 00:50:05.624 $9." flap! 575 00:50:05.783 --> 00:50:07.694 Stop, bro! 576 00:50:11.288 --> 00:50:14.963 'IIIIJIIKIIIIIIIIIIIII. 577 00:50:15.526 --> 00:50:18.336 I need my chain, bro. I must get it back 578 00:50:18.495 --> 00:50:20.406 - Precious? - It's priceless! 579 00:50:20.931 --> 00:50:23.639 The thief must be a local 580 00:50:24.100 --> 00:50:26.811 But he'll sell the loot in Delhi 581 00:50:26.937 --> 00:50:30.578 If he sold pricey stuff here, he'd get caught 582 00:50:31.608 --> 00:50:33.485 Then I must go 583 00:50:33.744 --> 00:50:35.451 Where? 584 00:50:36.460 --> 00:50:37.354 Delhi 585 00:51:01.305 --> 00:51:02.784 - Officer! - Yeah? 586 00:51:03.374 --> 00:51:06.446 - Ilylt_lliculfllllbklnn-? 587 00:51:06.710 --> 00:51:09.657 Expect the police force to track your TV remote? 588 00:51:10.314 --> 00:51:12.988 - IQIMQ'NUI& In!!!? 589 00:51:13.951 --> 00:51:17.398 Can't tell you. But it's like a chain 590 00:51:17.454 --> 00:51:18.865 Really precious 591 00:51:19.289 --> 00:51:21.792 - In 592 00:51:22.793 --> 00:51:26.741 And you're searching in Delhi, you idiot? 593 00:51:27.331 --> 00:51:29.400 The thief came to Delhi 594 00:51:29.299 --> 00:51:31.301 -80? momma-Qumran 595 00:51:31.335 --> 00:51:34.316 Blockhead! It's a city of 15 million 596 00:51:34.438 --> 00:51:39.410 Pflniuhulll, 'MGM 597 00:51:40.811 --> 00:51:44.452 Only God can help you 598 00:51:45.516 --> 00:51:50.966 S urrender to God , you1lsucceed 599 00:51:51.388 --> 00:51:55.700 Only God knows 600 00:51:55.893 --> 00:51:59.636 Ask God, not me! 601 00:52:00.531 --> 00:52:03.910 Trust in God, my child 602 00:52:04.368 --> 00:52:09.750 Who was this God chap? AH said only He could help 603 00:52:10.407 --> 00:52:13.411 What I saw blew my mind 604 00:52:13.677 --> 00:52:17.523 Earthlings had figured out who had manufactured them! 605 00:52:17.881 --> 00:52:22.296 Their creator lived with them. He had millions of houses 606 00:52:22.519 --> 00:52:28.868 Earthlings took their problems to Him, which He solved for a smaH fee 607 00:52:29.393 --> 00:52:32.966 My planet had no such facility 608 00:52:33.397 --> 00:52:38.346 I could not believe it! So decided to test it 609 00:52:40.337 --> 00:52:42.339 One take-away God 610 00:52:42.372 --> 00:52:45.751 VVhich one? Rs 20, 100, 500? 611 00:52:46.310 --> 00:52:49.621 Any difference? In the Rs 2O and Rs 500 ones? 612 00:52:49.813 --> 00:52:51.884 Just the size. Otherwise ditto 613 00:52:51.949 --> 00:52:55.556 Rs 20 God is equally efficient? 614 00:52:56.587 --> 00:53:00.330 OK, gimme R515! Nothing less 615 00:53:13.300 --> 00:53:17.418 God, I am famished. Get me some food please 616 00:53:29.386 --> 00:53:30.888 I went bananas 617 00:53:31.455 --> 00:53:35.426 God actually worked! Now I could go home 618 00:53:35.492 --> 00:53:38.496 w! n' 'I-I“ b “I 619 00:53:38.729 --> 00:53:41.869 Please find it. I want to go home 620 00:53:55.312 --> 00:53:59.419 God's battery died. VVorked once, then kaput 621 00:53:59.483 --> 00:54:00.928 What do you mean? 622 00:54:00.984 --> 00:54:03.464 Stick a new battery in. VVhere does it go? 623 00:54:03.520 --> 00:54:06.626 - It needs no battery. - Then why is it off? 624 00:54:06.924 --> 00:54:10.633 - Manufacturing defect? - I make no defective stuff 625 00:54:11.695 --> 00:54:16.474 - You made this God? - Of course! VVith my own hands 626 00:54:16.967 --> 00:54:19.948 You made God, or God made you? 627 00:54:20.270 --> 00:54:25.310 He made us all - I only make His statues 628 00:54:25.442 --> 00:54:27.615 Why the statues? 629 00:54:27.711 --> 00:54:31.557 To worship Him. To voice our problems 630 00:54:31.848 --> 00:54:36.319 Is there a transmitter inside? How can He hear us? 631 00:54:37.287 --> 00:54:41.895 God needs no transmitter. He hears directly 632 00:54:41.959 --> 00:54:44.940 HIGH? Tlfllvllylllill? 633 00:54:45.329 --> 00:54:47.809 What's with him? 634 00:54:48.732 --> 00:54:52.544 Want to bust my business? What's your problem? 635 00:54:53.337 --> 00:54:55.317 My remote is stolen, Sir 636 00:54:55.472 --> 00:54:58.749 I'm requesting God. But He doesn't reply 637 00:54:59.309 --> 00:55:01.289 ' Are YOU tipsy? - Meaning? 638 00:55:01.311 --> 00:55:04.451 You're overloading this pint-sized God 639 00:55:04.481 --> 00:55:07.257 His itty-bitty feet can't chase the thief 640 00:55:07.351 --> 00:55:10.389 Bother the big God inside the temple 641 00:55:10.787 --> 00:55:13.290 He'll run fast 642 00:55:13.323 --> 00:55:16.896 Ollurl-Inoooolllmdnnnq- Hdldnlvor 643 00:55:16.960 --> 00:55:18.906 Thafll be Rs 200 644 00:55:24.434 --> 00:55:28.644 Earthlings waited with fees to get their work done 645 00:55:28.972 --> 00:55:31.782 Full 2 hours later I got the appointment 646 00:55:31.942 --> 00:55:33.444 God, 647 00:55:34.978 --> 00:55:38.482 please get my remote back 648 00:55:40.484 --> 00:55:42.555 - VVhere is it? - Move! 649 00:55:42.753 --> 00:55:44.630 Vi. YD§XIIIICI 650 00:55:44.921 --> 00:55:49.370 He didn't deliver! See, I paid His fee 651 00:55:49.426 --> 00:55:51.428 Jhllwulkwlhodono. - Bll\nhnn? 652 00:55:51.495 --> 00:55:53.907 Can't say when, but it will be done 653 00:55:54.310 --> 00:55:56.841 Jlwoon. - Bmvllmwlllldl? 654 00:55:56.900 --> 00:55:58.607 Don't block the line, scram! 655 00:55:58.702 --> 00:56:01.410 “Will. qmmlnkwqfil. 656 00:56:01.471 --> 00:56:02.313 Are you tipsy? 657 00:56:02.372 --> 00:56:06.286 Vvherel-fifilyh 2:? stuff? 658 00:56:06.343 --> 00:56:08.254 At the mental hospital! 659 00:56:08.345 --> 00:56:12.259 What? Cash here, delivery at mental hospital! 660 00:56:12.282 --> 00:56:14.523 - Throw him out! - OK, give me a receipt 661 00:56:14.618 --> 00:56:15.392 Out! 662 00:56:15.485 --> 00:56:18.796 VVithout a receipt how do I claim my delivery? 663 00:56:18.855 --> 00:56:21.358 Get out! 664 00:56:21.425 --> 00:56:22.597 B ut my remote? 665 00:56:22.726 --> 00:56:23.898 Leave! 666 00:56:31.802 --> 00:56:34.578 I can't find my shoes 667 00:56:35.500 --> 00:56:38.316 Someone's taken them. Now you take your pick 668 00:56:38.608 --> 00:56:41.555 Rotation is routine at temples 669 00:56:54.891 --> 00:56:59.465 He took the payment, didn't deliver 670 00:57:03.366 --> 00:57:04.640 What's his name? 671 00:57:04.701 --> 00:57:06.840 - They call Him God - Real name? 672 00:57:07.304 --> 00:57:08.749 No idea 673 00:57:10.407 --> 00:57:11.579 Where does he live? 674 00:57:12.342 --> 00:57:14.344 In that temple 675 00:57:14.544 --> 00:57:18.356 - You handed him the cash? - No. Put it in His box 676 00:57:18.415 --> 00:57:20.986 - Said he'd do the job? - He says nothing 677 00:57:21.251 --> 00:57:22.753 Is he mute? 678 00:57:22.919 --> 00:57:24.626 Perhaps. . . maybe 679 00:57:25.255 --> 00:57:26.791 (II... 680 00:57:28.425 --> 00:57:30.496 Describe him 681 00:57:33.296 --> 00:57:35.276 Ditto 682 00:57:36.967 --> 00:57:39.538 But a bigger chap 683 00:57:40.504 --> 00:57:41.778 Come near... 684 00:57:43.673 --> 00:57:45.160 Are you tipsy? 685 00:57:45.809 --> 00:57:48.619 Yin. l-lowdoyouflhmv? 686 00:57:48.712 --> 00:57:52.387 Think I'm a jackass? 2O years a cop! 687 00:57:52.482 --> 00:57:55.486 VVhds tipsy who's not I can tell in a snap 688 00:57:56.520 --> 00:57:59.501 Frisk him 689 00:58:00.957 --> 00:58:03.494 Let me have a look 690 00:58:04.895 --> 00:58:06.670 Dr D'Mello... 691 00:58:07.397 --> 00:58:12.312 Doc, why get so buzzed you forget your faith? 692 00:58:12.502 --> 00:58:16.382 Mistook temple for a church! Wanna rouse a riot? 693 00:58:16.907 --> 00:58:21.413 Go to church. To your own God 694 00:58:23.446 --> 00:58:25.255 Church? 695 00:59:13.630 --> 00:59:14.973 Get out of here 696 00:59:15.265 --> 00:59:18.269 My stuff! My remote! 697 00:59:18.535 --> 00:59:21.675 Godvmonnllndhyowil. Ullpfillnlnl 698 00:59:22.239 --> 00:59:26.244 Crucified! When? 699 00:59:26.509 --> 00:59:29.888 2,000 years ago. For your sins! 700 00:59:30.480 --> 00:59:33.586 What did I do? I just got here 701 00:59:35.318 --> 00:59:37.389 - Nflfliifl nun 702 00:59:37.454 --> 00:59:40.264 (Sod isgvezitlgcgg you- 703 00:59:40.824 --> 00:59:42.462 Where? 704 00:59:42.726 --> 00:59:44.000 Where is God? 705 00:59:44.527 --> 00:59:46.600 What's in the mug? 706 00:59:46.263 --> 00:59:47.571 Wine 707 00:59:47.797 --> 00:59:51.711 MIDI klfill 708 00:59:52.569 --> 00:59:55.311 God was bored of coconut water 709 00:59:55.505 --> 00:59:59.385 Now He preferred wine. But wine was expensive 710 00:59:59.576 --> 01:00:01.613 So I had to muster money 711 01:00:03.346 --> 01:00:07.852 I got some from the dancing car, some from a gentleman 712 01:00:08.285 --> 01:00:10.856 who held out a bowl of dole everyday 713 01:00:11.354 --> 01:00:14.494 You could withdraw as per need 714 01:00:25.902 --> 01:00:31.409 [Radio Announcement] 715 01:00:34.711 --> 01:00:36.782 Sir, any God house around here? 716 01:00:36.913 --> 01:00:38.893 Right there 717 01:00:39.150 --> 01:00:48.600 Preacher, let me drink in God's abode 718 01:00:51.695 --> 01:00:58.476 Or show me a place where there is no God 719 01:00:59.402 --> 01:01:01.882 Stop! VVhaPs that? 720 01:01:02.305 --> 01:01:04.285 Wine, for God 721 01:01:04.574 --> 01:01:06.485 Where is He? 722 01:01:46.649 --> 01:01:48.856 This lady looked very sad 723 01:01:49.319 --> 01:01:51.993 To know why, I grabbed her hand 724 01:01:52.422 --> 01:01:54.800 Fllhomnmuv, mum 725 01:01:55.250 --> 01:01:57.369 “Mun l-lowdoyouhmv? 726 01:01:57.494 --> 01:01:59.496 Don't you see she's clad in white? 727 01:02:11.341 --> 01:02:12.342 Is everything fine? 728 01:02:12.409 --> 01:02:14.411 Everything is fine. 729 01:02:15.545 --> 01:02:17.491 Just relax. Smile. 730 01:02:18.848 --> 01:02:21.522 8on0!!! you-unwind!!! 731 01:02:21.584 --> 01:02:22.927 - What? - When? 732 01:02:23.286 --> 01:02:26.290 How do I know? You are clad in white 733 01:02:26.356 --> 01:02:28.302 Brides wear white! 734 01:02:28.358 --> 01:02:30.964 No, widows wear white 735 01:02:31.327 --> 01:02:32.738 I&u "Ilia 736 01:02:32.796 --> 01:02:35.936 Now don't stress her out. Go! 737 01:02:45.942 --> 01:02:48.445 All three lost your husbands? 738 01:02:48.778 --> 01:02:50.985 I'm alive you moron! Want a whack? 739 01:02:52.649 --> 01:02:54.788 Pll""fpl:I"I" 740 01:02:54.851 --> 01:02:58.458 there wasn't one God. There were many Gods 741 01:02:58.555 --> 01:03:00.865 Each with His own set of rules 742 01:03:01.324 --> 01:03:03.600 Each God had floated His own Company 743 01:03:04.260 --> 01:03:06.262 They called it religion 744 01:03:06.596 --> 01:03:09.702 Each Company had its own agents 745 01:03:09.899 --> 01:03:14.939 Alsullnlhhli” 746 01:03:15.405 --> 01:03:19.911 and followed the God of that religion alone 747 01:03:20.577 --> 01:03:24.286 What was my religion, who was my God? 748 01:03:24.781 --> 01:03:27.625 To find the remote I had to know my God 749 01:03:43.466 --> 01:03:45.412 What are you doing? 750 01:03:45.635 --> 01:03:47.308 Where is the label? 751 01:03:47.504 --> 01:03:49.347 What label? 752 01:03:49.806 --> 01:03:51.479 The Religion label 753 01:03:52.408 --> 01:03:54.945 How do you know which Company he belongs to? 754 01:03:55.578 --> 01:03:58.580 Where does God label them? 755 01:03:58.748 --> 01:03:59.726 Security! 756 01:04:07.257 --> 01:04:09.760 Fillfl# 1&1 757 01:04:10.393 --> 01:04:15.274 So I decided to worship all Gods 758 01:04:15.465 --> 01:04:19.277 One of them would be my God, who'd help me 759 01:04:19.469 --> 01:04:25.784 It's You who governs The world! hear 760 01:04:26.276 --> 01:04:31.954 Do listen to my plea My home beckons me 761 01:04:32.448 --> 01:04:37.625 God where are You 762 01:04:39.289 --> 01:04:45.100 Tell me where are You 763 01:04:46.296 --> 01:04:52.804 You guide back to sanity Those who've lost their way 764 01:04:52.869 --> 01:04:58.945 I too am completely lost Guide me too, I pray 765 01:04:59.442 --> 01:05:04.482 God where are You 766 01:05:05.949 --> 01:05:11.831 Tell me where are You 767 01:05:39.582 --> 01:05:42.586 Shah' I worship You in temples 768 01:05:42.986 --> 01:05:45.967 In mosques do my faith I show 769 01:05:46.389 --> 01:05:52.396 Or to a gurudwara would You like me to go 770 01:05:52.996 --> 01:05:59.641 Temples and churches, I looked everywhere 771 01:05:59.836 --> 01:06:05.809 My hope now, has turned to despair 772 01:06:06.576 --> 01:06:11.753 My hope now, has turned to despair 773 01:06:13.416 --> 01:06:19.423 My hope now, has turned to despair 774 01:06:23.559 --> 01:06:29.475 Not a single ritual Did I ever flout 775 01:06:30.566 --> 01:06:36.448 Like millions around I submit without a doubt 776 01:06:36.806 --> 01:06:41.778 God where are You 777 01:06:43.513 --> 01:06:48.587 Tell me where are You 778 01:07:16.946 --> 01:07:23.488 You have many names And many faces too 779 01:07:23.786 --> 01:07:29.862 I've walked each of the myriad paths which lead to You 780 01:07:30.560 --> 01:07:36.704 In no shrine did I find You 781 01:07:37.300 --> 01:07:42.409 What else should I do To find you give a clue 782 01:07:43.906 --> 01:07:49.379 What else should I do To find you give a clue 783 01:07:50.847 --> 01:07:56.320 What else should I do To find you give a clue 784 01:08:01.324 --> 01:08:06.933 I blindly follow and With reverence treasure 785 01:08:07.897 --> 01:08:13.745 Your every whim and fancy In more than ample measure 786 01:08:14.404 --> 01:08:18.819 God where are you 787 01:08:20.877 --> 01:08:25.417 Tel! me where are you 788 01:08:27.717 --> 01:08:32.860 God where are you 789 01:08:34.490 --> 01:08:40.702 Tel! me where are you 790 01:08:49.839 --> 01:08:52.877 God - I'm all confused 791 01:08:54.710 --> 01:08:59.489 vacuum-m Vhumwvuammyun? 792 01:09:00.917 --> 01:09:03.557 Understand my plight 793 01:09:03.953 --> 01:09:06.263 Give me some guidance 794 01:09:06.656 --> 01:09:08.658 Please 795 01:09:10.960 --> 01:09:13.497 Shall I talk to you with hands clasped, 796 01:09:13.796 --> 01:09:18.802 or on bent knees, head to the ground? 797 01:09:21.270 --> 01:09:23.409 Do I wake you with temple bells? 798 01:09:23.739 --> 01:09:25.719 Or call out on a loudspeaker? 799 01:09:26.742 --> 01:09:32.249 The Geeta, the Quran, the Bible - what do I read? 800 01:09:32.682 --> 01:09:36.687 Your different managers say different things 801 01:09:37.353 --> 01:09:41.824 Some insist fast on Monday, others urge on Tuesday 802 01:09:42.358 --> 01:09:47.273 Some forbid food after sunset, some after sunrise 803 01:09:47.897 --> 01:09:51.845 Some say, worship the cow. Others say slaughter her 804 01:09:52.568 --> 01:09:57.984 Some send me barefoot to the temple, some wearing shoes to the church 805 01:09:58.474 --> 01:10:01.284 What is right, what is wrong 806 01:10:01.577 --> 01:10:03.887 I am clueless 807 01:10:05.581 --> 01:10:08.323 I'm at breaking point 808 01:10:10.586 --> 01:10:12.725 I want to go home 809 01:10:13.289 --> 01:10:17.499 I'll do whatever you ask. Just get me home 810 01:10:17.827 --> 01:10:19.704 Please 811 01:10:21.397 --> 01:10:23.343 Say something 812 01:10:24.333 --> 01:10:26.313 At least one of you... 813 01:10:26.936 --> 01:10:29.348 ...give me some answer 814 01:10:29.605 --> 01:10:30.948 Please 815 01:10:32.975 --> 01:10:34.545 Please 816 01:10:36.780 --> 01:10:37.887 Please 817 01:10:48.891 --> 01:10:51.838 Missing: God 818 01:10:58.634 --> 01:11:00.341 Missing: God 819 01:11:09.445 --> 01:11:10.423 Missing: God 820 01:11:45.781 --> 01:11:47.454 Why the lock man? 821 01:11:47.516 --> 01:11:49.553 I gotcha today 822 01:11:50.319 --> 01:11:51.457 llhollinl "U Qty] 823 01:11:51.520 --> 01:11:53.591 Lord Shiva, slayer of sins 824 01:11:53.990 --> 01:11:55.435 who fears none 825 01:11:55.791 --> 01:11:58.328 w?“ '.701? 826 01:11:58.394 --> 01:12:00.499 Don't you recognize me? 827 01:12:00.963 --> 01:12:03.273 I'm Tipsy! 828 01:12:04.567 --> 01:12:06.877 Where the hell is security? 829 01:12:07.269 --> 01:12:10.716 Do I perform for boozards in the toilet? 830 01:12:12.408 --> 01:12:14.547 Unlock that door now! 831 01:12:14.710 --> 01:12:16.417 My remote first! 832 01:12:16.479 --> 01:12:19.688 - What remote? - Of my spaceship 833 01:12:19.982 --> 01:12:21.290 Spun... din? 834 01:12:21.484 --> 01:12:24.761 Memory loss? For the zillionth time, 835 01:12:25.321 --> 01:12:27.995 I'm not from here. I'm from a far off planet 836 01:12:28.324 --> 01:12:29.394 Smooch! 837 01:12:29.592 --> 01:12:33.506 Gimme my remote, and I go home. Got it? 838 01:12:33.929 --> 01:12:37.308 Brother let me go. I've little kids at home 839 01:12:37.333 --> 01:12:39.745 “Incl Yulfimulilnfilb 840 01:12:39.802 --> 01:12:42.578 Both are centuries old. They can be home alone 841 01:12:42.638 --> 01:12:45.380 First my remote, then your family reunion 842 01:12:46.308 --> 01:12:47.787 Oh God, save me please... 843 01:12:47.877 --> 01:12:49.550 There's a God above you too? 844 01:12:49.612 --> 01:12:50.886 Lord Shiva, help 845 01:12:50.980 --> 01:12:52.789 Where? 846 01:12:54.817 --> 01:12:58.424 NovlpllllHUllnfinQdSINQ, thalamus 847 01:12:58.487 --> 01:12:59.591 Help! 848 01:13:00.560 --> 01:13:01.000 Help! 849 01:13:03.259 --> 01:13:04.465 Help! 850 01:13:11.267 --> 01:13:13.713 Help! 851 01:13:14.804 --> 01:13:15.805 Help! 852 01:13:32.822 --> 01:13:36.326 Hail Lord Shiva 853 01:13:54.944 --> 01:13:58.790 Hail Lord Shiva 854 01:13:59.448 --> 01:14:04.955 I was meditating on the snowy peaks of the Himalayas 855 01:14:05.421 --> 01:14:08.595 when, suddenly - light! 856 01:14:08.891 --> 01:14:11.269 Dazzling light! 857 01:14:11.861 --> 01:14:17.311 It came from a bead lying in the snow 858 01:14:17.967 --> 01:14:22.541 I shut my eyes and invoked God 859 01:14:22.605 --> 01:14:25.677 Next moment, I was connected 860 01:14:25.741 --> 01:14:28.585 laid, 'Gd-IIUIIIIIII.' 861 01:14:28.811 --> 01:14:31.279 What is this miraculous object, 862 01:14:31.280 --> 01:14:34.454 even iiss cold? 863 01:14:34.917 --> 01:14:36.294 God said, 864 01:14:36.318 --> 01:14:41.280 it's a divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace 865 01:14:41.290 --> 01:14:47.360 Take it and enshrine it in a grand temple 866 01:14:47.363 --> 01:14:53.746 Sighting this bead will heal all suffering 867 01:14:53.803 --> 01:14:56.647 Hail Lord Shiva 868 01:14:57.439 --> 01:14:59.817 Are you ready for the sighting? 869 01:15:00.309 --> 01:15:02.983 The divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace! 870 01:15:06.782 --> 01:15:11.390 Hail Lord Shiva 871 01:15:11.887 --> 01:15:15.994 Hail Lord Shiva 872 01:15:24.900 --> 01:15:27.540 Hail Lord Shiva 873 01:15:27.837 --> 01:15:29.714 Hail Lord Shiva 874 01:15:29.905 --> 01:15:30.815 Q!!- 875 01:15:30.873 --> 01:15:35.288 Let him through. He's awed by the sight 876 01:15:35.311 --> 01:15:37.313 &In. d-flumlfiin 877 01:15:37.379 --> 01:15:40.519 Not there child. Come here 878 01:15:40.783 --> 01:15:42.626 Express your ecstasy 879 01:15:42.751 --> 01:15:44.992 Hail Lord Shiva 880 01:15:45.387 --> 01:15:48.800 Hail Lord Shiva 881 01:15:49.291 --> 01:15:51.601 God, where are you? Please step out, 882 01:15:51.627 --> 01:15:53.868 I want to thank you 883 01:15:55.297 --> 01:15:56.708 He's right here 884 01:15:57.320 --> 01:15:58.807 I met Him in the toilet 885 01:15:58.868 --> 01:16:01.508 I asked for my property and He bolted 886 01:16:01.770 --> 01:16:03.647 I thought He vamoosed 887 01:16:03.906 --> 01:16:07.581 Bulnol l-lolndmobnqplupully 888 01:16:07.810 --> 01:16:10.347 Hail Lord Shiva 889 01:16:11.280 --> 01:16:13.351 This isn't Lord Shiva's bead 890 01:16:13.515 --> 01:16:16.462 “WM: m”? 891 01:16:16.518 --> 01:16:18.520 Your bead must be misdelivered too 892 01:16:18.754 --> 01:16:23.567 Ask God, He is right here. God, do step forward, clarify 893 01:16:25.594 --> 01:16:28.541 fljllqrplllllllfl' 894 01:16:30.532 --> 01:16:33.513 'flflulifl Vlfnyuflfliqnil? 895 01:16:35.504 --> 01:16:39.418 Hail Lord Shiva 896 01:17:39.301 --> 01:17:44.808 Since when have you felt you're from another planet? 897 01:17:47.900 --> 01:17:53.324 Listen. You need to see a psychiatrist 898 01:17:54.316 --> 01:17:58.423 Time up! Rs 500 can buy only this much jail time 899 01:18:05.260 --> 01:18:07.262 Here's my card 900 01:18:07.830 --> 01:18:11.903 My number's on it. I'll get you an appointment if you wish 901 01:18:12.434 --> 01:18:14.880 Feel free to call. Okay? 902 01:18:16.271 --> 01:18:17.944 Take care 903 01:18:19.908 --> 01:18:22.252 Thank you officer Pandey 904 01:18:23.746 --> 01:18:26.784 You don't believe my story? 905 01:18:28.884 --> 01:18:33.264 Then go back to the suicidal dog, Nikku 906 01:18:33.689 --> 01:18:36.295 That's the story for you 907 01:18:42.865 --> 01:18:46.574 I need to go back in for 2 minutes 908 01:18:47.369 --> 01:18:50.543 (Immunity-ch 909 01:18:50.939 --> 01:18:55.752 Another Rs 500, he's all yours 910 01:18:55.944 --> 01:18:59.619 When did I mention Nikku, the suicidal dog? 911 01:19:00.150 --> 01:19:01.653 You didn't 912 01:19:01.917 --> 01:19:03.828 So how do you know? 913 01:19:04.286 --> 01:19:08.962 When you held my hands, I read your thoughts 914 01:19:09.958 --> 01:19:11.733 You thought: this story is dead 915 01:19:11.894 --> 01:19:13.498 I got to live with the Nikku story 916 01:19:13.695 --> 01:19:16.642 917 01:19:16.765 --> 01:19:20.235 I cannot lie. Lies need language 918 01:19:20.402 --> 01:19:23.872 lnlbllnlul g-imll I 919 01:19:24.873 --> 01:19:26.318 - Gilln0yullhflll. 920 01:19:26.442 --> 01:19:28.649 413w; mm 921 01:19:28.877 --> 01:19:34.259 My wife's ill. Hospital wants a deposit of Rs 10,000 922 01:19:34.416 --> 01:19:38.626 I'm Rs 500 short If you can help... 923 01:19:38.754 --> 01:19:40.427 I'll give you 924 01:19:41.256 --> 01:19:42.360 Here 925 01:19:42.458 --> 01:19:45.268 Give your address. I'll courier a check 926 01:19:45.294 --> 01:19:48.434 can-inu- $11.9' I 927 01:19:48.597 --> 01:19:50.338 flunk!!!" 928 01:19:51.266 --> 01:19:52.370 Sir... 929 01:19:52.868 --> 01:19:55.906 l-lnldaclclhlrk 1%. Forlholb 930 01:19:58.273 --> 01:20:00.310 Bless you 931 01:20:01.410 --> 01:20:05.324 You are 'reader 932 01:20:05.547 --> 01:20:10.621 Yhugdoollld. flllnbnohoupfllulndhllu 933 01:20:10.819 --> 01:20:12.298 I know! 934 01:20:12.387 --> 01:20:15.300 He's gifting his wife a five star dinner 935 01:20:15.324 --> 01:20:17.463 It's her 75th birthday 936 01:20:17.526 --> 01:20:20.370 She'd never been to a fancy place 937 01:20:20.529 --> 01:20:23.408 He's been saving from his pension for months 938 01:20:23.499 --> 01:20:26.844 She ordered ice-cream and his budget went kaput 939 01:20:26.935 --> 01:20:29.882 With a restroom excuse, he ran out for some bucks 940 01:20:29.905 --> 01:20:31.475 Another yarn! 941 01:20:32.541 --> 01:20:35.750 On our planet, we don't lie 942 01:20:36.678 --> 01:20:38.487 Anyway, it's up t0 You 943 01:21:38.907 --> 01:21:40.511 -l-lln. - Tllkyou8l' 944 01:21:40.576 --> 01:21:43.318 One moment. Tip him 945 01:21:43.478 --> 01:21:47.893 Why hold back - it's your birthday! 946 01:21:48.500 --> 01:21:49.324 Flunk!!!" 947 01:22:18.280 --> 01:22:20.317 Address: Step-well ruins 948 01:22:44.640 --> 01:22:47.917 cvunnw - .- 949 01:22:49.945 --> 01:22:52.357 Hope you haven't told anyone... 950 01:22:59.354 --> 01:23:01.334 ...that you're an alien? 951 01:23:01.523 --> 01:23:02.695 No way! 952 01:23:02.858 --> 01:23:07.637 They'd lock me in a lab, and rip me up for research! 953 01:23:09.564 --> 01:23:12.408 How come you told me? 954 01:23:13.869 --> 01:23:15.576 Evuriloo ladlootmllloplmd 955 01:23:15.771 --> 01:23:18.775 everyone has taken money from me 956 01:23:18.974 --> 01:23:22.478 You were the first to give it up for me - dumping Rs 5,000 in a box 957 01:23:22.978 --> 01:23:26.653 '"'".'*...":.".:.:.'::.""'- 958 01:23:30.180 --> 01:23:32.555 I'll get your remote back, Tipsy 959 01:23:33.755 --> 01:23:35.325 How? 960 01:23:35.624 --> 01:23:39.731 I haven't figured it out yet, but you'll go back home 961 01:23:40.280 --> 01:23:42.474 That's my promise 962 01:24:06.402 --> 01:24:08.473 What are you goggling at? 963 01:24:08.904 --> 01:24:09.939 Yo u 964 01:24:10.939 --> 01:24:13.351 Aliens don't drop by everyday 965 01:24:14.576 --> 01:24:18.718 Everyone on your planet has stick-out ears? 966 01:24:20.916 --> 01:24:22.452 Yup, ditto 967 01:24:22.518 --> 01:24:27.558 And theylsrioil? naked? 968 01:24:28.900 --> 01:24:31.799 That crow is naked - does he look weird? 969 01:24:32.270 --> 01:24:35.406 If he dons a tie, he'd look weird 970 01:24:37.433 --> 01:24:40.414 Tipsy, I was awake all night... 971 01:24:41.303 --> 01:24:44.409 ...thinking how to get your remote back 972 01:24:45.307 --> 01:24:45.944 Hello 973 01:24:46.308 --> 01:24:48.914 Connect to Balbir Singh. Room No. 4 974 01:24:49.511 --> 01:24:50.649 Wrong number 975 01:24:51.460 --> 01:24:52.753 Isn't this Foflis Hospital? 976 01:24:53.150 --> 01:24:55.928 Since yesterday you've been dialing this wrong number 977 01:24:55.951 --> 01:25:00.240 mpouflalil ngnuvnmflflfl“ 978 01:25:01.323 --> 01:25:03.769 So how do we get the remote? 979 01:25:06.962 --> 01:25:09.806 Connect to Balbir Singh. Room No. 4 980 01:25:09.865 --> 01:25:12.869 Sorry, Sir. You've called too late 981 01:25:13.335 --> 01:25:15.800 Balbir died this morning 982 01:25:15.537 --> 01:25:19.644 Huh! How can a piles surgery be fatal? 983 01:25:19.908 --> 01:25:22.445 Embarrassing, but don't worn] 984 01:25:22.678 --> 01:25:24.817 Death Certificate will say heart attack 985 01:25:25.130 --> 01:25:26.993 so the family saves face 986 01:25:27.416 --> 01:25:29.521 .comohlhlll0fl- - GIIIUVW 987 01:25:29.818 --> 01:25:31.661 Ok, bye 988 01:25:34.523 --> 01:25:35.968 Why did you say that? 989 01:25:36.358 --> 01:25:37.701 Doling out joy 990 01:25:37.860 --> 01:25:41.831 When he finds his friend alive, imagine his joy! 991 01:25:41.897 --> 01:25:42.841 What! 992 01:25:42.965 --> 01:25:47.311 I was sick of his calls. Sol played a prank 993 01:25:47.770 --> 01:25:50.979 - T“: wl 994 01:25:57.913 --> 01:25:59.483 I got it! 995 01:26:00.482 --> 01:26:03.725 Someone is playing pranks 996 01:26:04.190 --> 01:26:06.590 When His Holiness dials God, 997 01:26:06.855 --> 01:26:10.290 cocking his head, 'God, enlighten me', 998 01:26:10.425 --> 01:26:12.564 his calls are going to a Wrong Number 999 01:26:12.928 --> 01:26:15.841 Someone out there plays pranks 1000 01:26:16.310 --> 01:26:20.700 The real God won't call my remote a bead 1001 01:26:21.503 --> 01:26:28.352 Looks like the phone lines to God have gone kaput 1002 01:26:28.577 --> 01:26:30.921 All calls to God are going to a 'x/Vrong Number! 1003 01:26:31.346 --> 01:26:32.654 As in? 1004 01:26:32.714 --> 01:26:37.600 Think - would the real God give such weird solutions? 1005 01:26:37.619 --> 01:26:41.499 Like - come rolling to me, then I'll help you! 1006 01:26:41.790 --> 01:26:44.293 Aren't we God's children? 1007 01:26:44.459 --> 01:26:49.636 Vllfllfllflllilhlhfl Illlfltllh? 1008 01:26:50.299 --> 01:26:55.305 Your Dad ever said - kiddo, want a new dress? Stan rolling! 1009 01:26:55.971 --> 01:27:00.511 Another prank - bathe me with cow's milk! What bull! 1010 01:27:00.976 --> 01:27:07.180 And if these calls went to the real God, what would He say? 1011 01:27:07.416 --> 01:27:12.240 He'd say - millions of my children are starving on streets 1012 01:27:12.421 --> 01:27:15.459 Gwolhnlnni. Dolflflronnnhlbaolhovm 1013 01:27:15.891 --> 01:27:19.566 I'm sure someone's playing pranks, like you just did 1014 01:27:19.995 --> 01:27:22.839 Tipsy thought His Holiness was a victim of pranks 1015 01:27:23.650 --> 01:27:25.450 I didn't clear his confusion 1016 01:27:25.534 --> 01:27:28.344 for a crazy idea was forming in my head 1017 01:27:28.537 --> 01:27:32.417 An idea that would get back Tipsy's remote 1018 01:27:33.442 --> 01:27:34.546 Who's this Tipsy? 1019 01:27:35.430 --> 01:27:36.954 That's a mystery 1020 01:27:37.346 --> 01:27:40.540 But the way he sees this world is unique 1021 01:27:40.449 --> 01:27:43.623 - A0h? dlholflvyoullmkiq, 1022 01:27:43.886 --> 01:27:46.457 he'd call the cops to say you're attempting suicide 1023 01:27:46.722 --> 01:27:47.427 Why'? 1024 01:27:47.489 --> 01:27:50.561 The pack says 'Smoking Kills' yet you puff away 1025 01:27:51.927 --> 01:27:53.907 So what's the big idea? 1026 01:27:55.697 --> 01:27:56.971 Face-off 1027 01:27:57.432 --> 01:28:00.311 'Ibqrtllll-kl-IIIBIIZ. 1028 01:28:00.636 --> 01:28:03.412 We'll take the face-off to I V 1029 01:28:03.872 --> 01:28:06.352 Ratings will go through the roof! 1030 01:28:06.975 --> 01:28:09.819 I have three trident marks on my right bum 1031 01:28:10.345 --> 01:28:12.882 You want three more on my left for balance? 1032 01:28:13.348 --> 01:28:14.326 Don't worry 1033 01:28:14.416 --> 01:28:19.456 Tipsy won't fight His Holiness but gently explain, that... 1034 01:28:19.788 --> 01:28:22.826 "lkollaaollflbgoiqb 1035 01:28:23.392 --> 01:28:26.373 His Holiness will be stumped 1036 01:28:26.862 --> 01:28:27.670 Cherry! 1037 01:28:27.996 --> 01:28:31.534 Tipsy's here. Just meet him once 1038 01:28:31.867 --> 01:28:34.404 I bet his queries will baffle you 1039 01:28:34.670 --> 01:28:36.377 Trust me. Please! 1040 01:28:46.848 --> 01:28:48.759 Excuse me, you dropped this 1041 01:28:48.817 --> 01:28:50.319 Oh, thank you 1042 01:28:53.722 --> 01:28:55.895 That's not mine 1043 01:28:57.459 --> 01:29:00.303 Kamasutra condoms, strawberry flavor 1044 01:29:01.563 --> 01:29:04.567 I hate strawberries, man. Ask these guys 1045 01:29:04.900 --> 01:29:07.403 It's not mine. Buzzed bozo! 1046 01:29:09.571 --> 01:29:11.778 - Ma'am, yours? - How dare you! 1047 01:29:11.974 --> 01:29:16.354 - Check your purse if it's missing. - Shameless cad! 1048 01:29:17.312 --> 01:29:20.200 - Has to be yours. - No, not mine 1049 01:29:20.449 --> 01:29:22.190 Tipsy, it's his 1050 01:29:22.417 --> 01:29:26.832 Ask him all you want to know about it. Come on in 1051 01:29:31.326 --> 01:29:32.430 What's this? 1052 01:29:33.495 --> 01:29:34.997 It's a condom 1053 01:29:35.397 --> 01:29:40.730 dllldoaoldo? - Oolllnhlhowullrhpoplflloln 1054 01:29:40.702 --> 01:29:41.703 How? 1055 01:29:42.270 --> 01:29:46.548 It has to be worn while having sex 1056 01:29:48.844 --> 01:29:51.984 How does your wearing it control the world's population? 1057 01:29:52.280 --> 01:29:55.454 Not just me... millions wear it 1058 01:29:55.650 --> 01:29:57.630 They all borrow it from you? 1059 01:29:57.819 --> 01:29:59.696 No. Everyone has it 1060 01:29:59.988 --> 01:30:03.868 - I've a question - Go on Tipsy, shoot 1061 01:30:04.292 --> 01:30:08.468 If money is dropped, all run for it 1062 01:30:08.563 --> 01:30:13.842 If a condom is dropped, all run away from it. Why? 1063 01:30:14.403 --> 01:30:16.747 Sex is a very private matter 1064 01:30:16.872 --> 01:30:18.351 Why'? 1065 01:30:18.473 --> 01:30:21.852 You don't tell the whole town - I'm having sex today 1066 01:30:22.344 --> 01:30:27.350 But, then at weddings, with fireworks and music bands 1067 01:30:27.382 --> 01:30:32.354 why do they tell the whole town - I'm having sex today? 1068 01:30:34.456 --> 01:30:35.799 What's the matter? 1069 01:30:36.558 --> 01:30:41.530 I have no answer for you but I have a job for you 1070 01:30:42.464 --> 01:30:43.943 Thank you! 1071 01:30:44.933 --> 01:30:48.540 Let's beat it before he changes his mind 1072 01:30:50.472 --> 01:30:52.918 Shield your holy bum, Your Holiness 1073 01:30:53.275 --> 01:30:55.277 My trident is on its way 1074 01:30:59.140 --> 01:31:02.587 At this place His Holiness connects his devotees to God 1075 01:31:02.717 --> 01:31:04.560 for solutions to their woes 1076 01:31:04.886 --> 01:31:07.765 Listen carefully to his calls 1077 01:31:07.856 --> 01:31:14.330 If you think the calls are going to a Wrong Number, alefl him 1078 01:31:14.663 --> 01:31:18.304 - Will that get me my remote? - Once he realises... 1079 01:31:18.366 --> 01:31:22.906 ...the bead story is a prank he'll return your remote 1080 01:31:22.971 --> 01:31:26.430 Good plan. Let's go 1081 01:31:27.509 --> 01:31:30.581 hluldllnlmlononnom lonhofydood 1082 01:31:30.645 --> 01:31:35.321 To build a home for God is the holiest deed 1083 01:31:35.717 --> 01:31:38.425 So donate for the temple 1084 01:31:38.620 --> 01:31:41.430 yulrlnlnnnllno 1085 01:31:42.257 --> 01:31:45.727 Son, voice your woe 1086 01:31:46.695 --> 01:31:48.300 Your Holiness, 1087 01:31:48.730 --> 01:31:51.336 my wife's been paralyzed for six months 1088 01:31:51.600 --> 01:31:55.343 The doctors have given up. What shall I... 1089 01:31:56.805 --> 01:31:58.443 God 1090 01:31:59.274 --> 01:32:00.548 Enlighten me 1091 01:32:07.616 --> 01:32:08.959 Yin... 1092 01:32:12.387 --> 01:32:14.560 What place? 1093 01:32:19.394 --> 01:32:21.374 What transport? 1094 01:32:23.899 --> 01:32:26.345 Your wish is our command 1095 01:32:28.970 --> 01:32:31.610 Have you heard of the Rathong glacier? 1096 01:32:31.673 --> 01:32:32.879 L\l0 1097 01:32:33.375 --> 01:32:37.790 It's in the Himalayas. Take a train to Silliguri 1098 01:32:38.613 --> 01:32:41.389 then a bus to Gangtok 1099 01:32:42.250 --> 01:32:46.699 then an eight day trek 1100 01:32:47.322 --> 01:32:51.828 You'll reach a grand temple 1101 01:32:52.761 --> 01:32:55.935 'IIIIIIIIIIIBIIIIIIIIIIQQQIQQq 1102 01:32:56.264 --> 01:32:58.574 'x/Vrong Number! This is a 'x/Vrong Number! 1103 01:32:58.867 --> 01:33:00.744 - L 1104 01:33:01.200 --> 01:33:06.452 Your Holiness, your phone line to God has gone kaput 1105 01:33:07.275 --> 01:33:09.346 Your calls are going to a 'x/Vrong Number 1106 01:33:09.544 --> 01:33:13.390 and a fake God is playing pranks 1107 01:33:13.515 --> 01:33:16.724 What are you trying to say? 1108 01:33:16.985 --> 01:33:19.898 Flil. Niflilfilhi? 1109 01:33:20.589 --> 01:33:21.567 Yes, so? 1110 01:33:21.756 --> 01:33:25.499 Say your kid's in a jam and comes to you 1111 01:33:25.827 --> 01:33:28.569 Will you help promptly, or will you say 1112 01:33:28.697 --> 01:33:31.974 kiddo, I've another house 2,000 miles away 1113 01:33:32.300 --> 01:33:35.338 Come there, tell me the same problem again 1114 01:33:35.537 --> 01:33:37.915 Then I'll solve it. What bull! 1115 01:33:38.340 --> 01:33:43.551 If the call went to real God, He'd say: Son, tend to your ailing wife, 1116 01:33:43.878 --> 01:33:46.358 don't run after me 1117 01:33:46.548 --> 01:33:49.552 kin yuflulmbnnlquq 1118 01:33:49.684 --> 01:33:53.393 give her your time now. Right? 1119 01:33:57.592 --> 01:34:00.380 I can prove it's a prank 1120 01:34:00.362 --> 01:34:03.605 Call this fake God again and ask 1121 01:34:03.865 --> 01:34:06.471 What's the guarantee she will get well 1122 01:34:06.668 --> 01:34:10.741 Sir, till you get it in writing, don't leave her side 1123 01:34:10.905 --> 01:34:13.886 Just call, and clear all doubt 1124 01:34:14.843 --> 01:34:18.860 Icllnlfl-bfii hi km 1125 01:34:19.848 --> 01:34:28.962 Praise be to God Glory be to God 1126 01:34:31.660 --> 01:34:36.632 This fake God is passing off my property as a holy bead 1127 01:34:36.931 --> 01:34:39.878 He's playing a prank 1128 01:34:41.369 --> 01:34:43.906 He is no God. He is a fraud 1129 01:34:44.572 --> 01:34:46.574 He is a FRAUD 1130 01:34:46.775 --> 01:34:50.450 God doesn't talk to us mortals 1131 01:34:51.120 --> 01:34:54.721 He communicates through His managers 1132 01:34:55.317 --> 01:34:58.662 Jhqlmlfludlhhqndhln. 4M1? 1133 01:35:00.550 --> 01:35:03.434 Is God really talking to the managers? 1134 01:35:03.491 --> 01:35:04.401 L\l0 1135 01:35:04.459 --> 01:35:08.669 So where do the commands for us come from? 1136 01:35:08.963 --> 01:35:12.638 - From a 'x/Vrong Number! - So what should the public do? 1137 01:35:12.834 --> 01:35:16.646 Till phone lines are fixed, don't depend on God's managers 1138 01:35:16.705 --> 01:35:19.413 Help each other in difficult times 1139 01:35:19.708 --> 01:35:26.785 A great tip from Tipsy: Don't rely on God's managers 1140 01:35:26.981 --> 01:35:29.985 Rely on each other 1141 01:35:32.870 --> 01:35:35.933 Hail Lord Shiva 1142 01:35:37.359 --> 01:35:41.739 Tipsy says don't make the temple, the bead belongs to him 1143 01:35:41.863 --> 01:35:43.934 What's in your pocket? 1144 01:35:46.468 --> 01:35:49.312 A 1145 01:35:49.471 --> 01:35:53.613 - You- cogjggoenzlloizyohol? 1146 01:35:53.808 --> 01:35:57.170 You smoke cigarettes, consume alcohol 1147 01:35:57.450 --> 01:36:00.754 despite knowing their fatal effects 1148 01:36:01.616 --> 01:36:03.823 Governments permit these poisons, 1149 01:36:04.352 --> 01:36:09.529 factories manufacture them, stores sell them 1150 01:36:09.624 --> 01:36:11.797 Nobody questions this 1151 01:36:12.260 --> 01:36:19.638 But in this sacred land of Lord Ram and Krishna 1152 01:36:19.734 --> 01:36:22.476 if I wish to build a temple 1153 01:36:23.338 --> 01:36:25.450 why these questions? 1154 01:36:25.874 --> 01:36:33.383 Why not question the man who is trying to stall this temple? 1155 01:36:33.615 --> 01:36:35.356 Who's this Tipsy? 1156 01:36:35.717 --> 01:36:37.788 What's his real name? 1157 01:36:39.530 --> 01:36:43.297 Why's he hiding it? Is he a Muslim? 1158 01:36:43.892 --> 01:36:48.307 If question you must, go ask Tipsy 1159 01:36:48.329 --> 01:36:49.933 what is his religion? 1160 01:36:50.365 --> 01:36:54.609 Find out his religion, Find out his faith 1161 01:36:57.505 --> 01:37:00.486 Centuries ago, Mohammad of Ghazni 1162 01:37:01.342 --> 01:37:03.379 came and destroyed our temples. 1163 01:37:03.845 --> 01:37:08.453 Today another invader wants to repeat history 1164 01:37:08.616 --> 01:37:09.788 But we won't allow... 1165 01:37:36.711 --> 01:37:41.285 Your God asks my religion. Let's ask Him... 1166 01:37:41.382 --> 01:37:43.726 ...the religions of these people 1167 01:37:43.818 --> 01:37:48.289 - What nonsense? - Call up your God! 1168 01:37:48.323 --> 01:37:52.772 Why bother God? I'll tell you 1169 01:37:52.994 --> 01:37:54.905 This one is a Hindu. He's a Christian... 1170 01:37:55.330 --> 01:37:56.934 n Sill, H! “n. 1171 01:37:57.332 --> 01:37:59.972 ...that one is of your religion 1172 01:38:01.736 --> 01:38:04.444 Enlighten him 1173 01:38:04.839 --> 01:38:08.343 Hello. I'm Sikh 1174 01:38:08.576 --> 01:38:11.853 Greetings. I'm Muslim 1175 01:38:12.313 --> 01:38:14.350 I'm Jain 1176 01:38:14.415 --> 01:38:16.793 H. Uni 1177 01:38:17.418 --> 01:38:20.661 Hello! I'm Hindu 1178 01:38:21.322 --> 01:38:22.630 Bamboozled! 1179 01:38:22.924 --> 01:38:26.633 If Iwnnnoulllguuu-n. 1180 01:38:26.828 --> 01:38:28.830 Faith is connected to fashion 1181 01:38:28.897 --> 01:38:32.300 Want a demo? Check the math 1182 01:38:32.667 --> 01:38:35.409 Beard + moustache + turban = Sikh 1183 01:38:35.803 --> 01:38:38.511 Minus turban = Hindu 1184 01:38:38.673 --> 01:38:41.847 Minus moustache = Muslim! 1185 01:38:42.577 --> 01:38:45.581 This difference is made by the fake God 1186 01:38:45.847 --> 01:38:48.327 If real God wanted it, He'd put a label on us 1187 01:38:48.383 --> 01:38:51.387 dolhlnnfialolnyollhotfl Jib? 1188 01:38:51.452 --> 01:38:54.558 Don't gape, strip and check! 1189 01:38:54.856 --> 01:38:56.802 Why be coy? 1190 01:38:57.392 --> 01:39:02.307 Fihiluyumilinibfii. hllnlqflfll 1191 01:39:02.597 --> 01:39:06.511 Cut the coyness. OK, I'll go first 1192 01:39:08.870 --> 01:39:11.510 See the bare facts 1193 01:39:12.640 --> 01:39:17.555 Is there a label? 1194 01:39:18.379 --> 01:39:19.858 Nothing! You see! 1195 01:39:20.480 --> 01:39:21.755 Check some more... 1196 01:39:22.350 --> 01:39:24.455 Remove this ruffian 1197 01:39:24.819 --> 01:39:27.925 "qr rm"°"I'IIlluin 1198 01:39:28.220 --> 01:39:30.240 Stan the chants! 1199 01:39:30.391 --> 01:39:32.894 Praise be to God Glory be to God 1200 01:39:33.270 --> 01:39:36.941 That's no divine bead 1201 01:39:44.839 --> 01:39:45.909 Jaggu! 1202 01:39:47.800 --> 01:39:48.510 Stop this farce! 1203 01:39:48.876 --> 01:39:49.877 Papa! 1204 01:39:52.313 --> 01:39:56.420 You were all of 40 days, when His Holiness christened you 1205 01:39:56.551 --> 01:40:00.363 Remember, he who gives you a name, can ruin it too 1206 01:40:00.922 --> 01:40:03.300 He named me Jagat Janani 1207 01:40:03.524 --> 01:40:04.969 How can he ruin it further? 1208 01:40:05.360 --> 01:40:08.364 'H! kmyuipho 1209 01:40:08.596 --> 01:40:09.301 Papa! 1210 01:40:09.464 --> 01:40:12.343 'Ilyiqtannflbl-Bl-lailinn ioqclaltlnunqr 1211 01:40:12.500 --> 01:40:12.978 No, no 1212 01:40:13.401 --> 01:40:18.316 You'll burn in Hell! Fear the wrath of God! 1213 01:40:23.378 --> 01:40:25.915 Flunk!!!" 1214 01:40:26.748 --> 01:40:30.389 I'd solved only half the puzzle. You pieced it together 1215 01:40:30.585 --> 01:40:32.326 Fear is the key 1216 01:40:32.520 --> 01:40:37.833 The prankster is cashing in on fear. Get it? 1217 01:40:38.426 --> 01:40:40.804 XII!- lllloflljguatlli"'p$.? 1218 01:40:40.895 --> 01:40:44.866 'Ihuluflllctlplllllbi. 1219 01:40:46.267 --> 01:40:48.304 I don't have time for this nonsense 1220 01:40:48.569 --> 01:40:52.574 If it turns out to be nonsense, I'll call off the show 1221 01:41:05.420 --> 01:41:09.732 Exams are on at this college. The students are scared stiff 1222 01:41:09.957 --> 01:41:14.906 I=__. F-Qr ii _ 1223 01:41:26.400 --> 01:41:28.543 Machine installed 1224 01:41:33.581 --> 01:41:36.460 A little seed capital 1225 01:41:40.321 --> 01:41:43.791 Now the inauguration 1226 01:41:52.900 --> 01:41:57.815 '$1! Qfichkhibwhb 1227 01:42:03.745 --> 01:42:05.315 Look there 1228 01:42:07.381 --> 01:42:08.917 The first customer! 1229 01:42:09.617 --> 01:42:12.894 Tea... piping hot tea 1230 01:42:13.387 --> 01:42:15.663 Check the investment of the tea vendor 1231 01:42:15.957 --> 01:42:19.404 KIIJIJIIIJID. Inna 1232 01:42:19.727 --> 01:42:23.402 Andhnn- nmokmdnlndnlk 1233 01:42:23.598 --> 01:42:25.407 Hot and piping tea... 1234 01:42:25.566 --> 01:42:27.739 There, you gotta woo the clients 1235 01:42:27.969 --> 01:42:30.848 Here you shoo them away 1236 01:42:30.972 --> 01:42:35.352 Hey, scram. Give others a chance 1237 01:42:37.845 --> 01:42:40.325 There you bow before the customer 1238 01:42:40.414 --> 01:42:42.690 Here the customer bows before you 1239 01:42:45.286 --> 01:42:49.359 If he's in deep trouble, he goes horizontal 1240 01:42:50.424 --> 01:42:54.804 The 'x/Vrong Number guy trades in fear 1241 01:42:55.263 --> 01:42:58.301 He knows - those in dread to the temple head 1242 01:42:58.900 --> 01:43:01.847 You too seem afraid! Off with these... 1243 01:43:03.271 --> 01:43:05.717 Do not question religion 1244 01:43:06.374 --> 01:43:08.513 It's a matter of faith! 1245 01:43:08.709 --> 01:43:11.417 If God didn't want us to raise questions 1246 01:43:11.512 --> 01:43:15.551 He wouldn't give us the power to reason 1247 01:43:15.917 --> 01:43:19.763 Guardians of religion use violence when they can't answer us 1248 01:43:19.921 --> 01:43:23.892 They scare us into silence. But now we won't be silent 1249 01:43:24.325 --> 01:43:28.899 So far one Tipsy raised questions. Now there'll be a thousand 1250 01:43:29.363 --> 01:43:31.843 Friends, pick up your phones 1251 01:43:32.300 --> 01:43:37.450 When you spot a Wrong Number, shoot it and send it to us 1252 01:43:37.572 --> 01:43:39.779 We'll put it on IV 1253 01:43:40.308 --> 01:43:42.845 Dump your fear, ask questions 1254 01:43:51.919 --> 01:43:53.865 Holy Sir! 1255 01:43:54.355 --> 01:43:55.595 One question 1256 01:43:55.656 --> 01:43:57.966 If you can conjure gold from thin air 1257 01:43:58.359 --> 01:44:00.999 why don't you end the nation's poverty? 1258 01:44:01.395 --> 01:44:03.341 Answer please 1259 01:44:03.931 --> 01:44:04.932 Holy Sir! 1260 01:44:04.999 --> 01:44:09.880 Since you're a walking gold mine, why ask us for donations? 1261 01:44:12.406 --> 01:44:14.716 God is great! 1262 01:44:14.942 --> 01:44:17.354 This is a Wrong Number 1263 01:44:17.478 --> 01:44:20.925 - Jaggu... come with me - Cherry give me a moment 1264 01:44:21.349 --> 01:44:25.580 Come with me 1265 01:44:25.353 --> 01:44:27.940 The 'x/Vrong Number idea is a national rage 1266 01:44:27.655 --> 01:44:31.000 wan Jaqunlnuuh 1267 01:44:36.530 --> 01:44:39.374 Guluaqb-tahlllajab, bodacious 1268 01:44:39.567 --> 01:44:42.946 $I? 1269 01:44:43.304 --> 01:44:46.911 Tirpuil3ilccnllnlbklznalll? 1270 01:44:47.800 --> 01:44:48.316 Watch this one! 1271 01:44:48.609 --> 01:44:51.419 He says, convert to Christianity, or be damned 1272 01:44:51.746 --> 01:44:55.455 If God wanted, I'd be Christian by birth 1273 01:44:55.816 --> 01:44:59.250 Why convert now? 'x/Vrong Number 1274 01:44:59.553 --> 01:45:01.430 These girls want to go to school 1275 01:45:01.689 --> 01:45:04.795 A new dictat says: kill them if they do 1276 01:45:04.959 --> 01:45:09.635 ls God so small, He'll deny children knowledge? 1277 01:45:10.331 --> 01:45:11.833 Wrong Number 1278 01:45:12.466 --> 01:45:15.811 'lfllitiaulliclnflilnulkynu 1279 01:45:16.337 --> 01:45:20.410 He has a master plan for the Universe 1280 01:45:20.841 --> 01:45:22.582 Accept it 1281 01:45:22.777 --> 01:45:27.385 Your disciples say: to get a male child, 1282 01:45:27.515 --> 01:45:31.930 buy this book, and chant the mantras 1283 01:45:32.353 --> 01:45:35.800 So buy a Rs 10 book 1284 01:45:35.856 --> 01:45:39.702 Iii Qfliij 1285 01:45:47.902 --> 01:45:52.440 Tipsy! Your show's a hit! Messages are pouring in 1286 01:45:52.373 --> 01:45:53.977 Here's one more 1287 01:45:58.946 --> 01:46:00.323 What happened? 1288 01:46:01.150 --> 01:46:04.986 It's Papa. He's ashamed I'm his daughter 1289 01:46:08.823 --> 01:46:11.531 I was in tenth grade 1290 01:46:12.727 --> 01:46:15.435 when I wrote my first poem 1291 01:46:15.997 --> 01:46:18.680 For Papa 1292 01:46:19.330 --> 01:46:24.540 Thlyiqyllrlilnllunulli. 1293 01:46:25.373 --> 01:46:28.513 But I'm my Daddy's girl 1294 01:46:28.809 --> 01:46:31.346 fill fl:_# I 1295 01:46:31.812 --> 01:46:33.849 All parents clapped 1296 01:46:34.348 --> 01:46:38.353 but one whistled with joy 1297 01:46:39.487 --> 01:46:43.492 The applause ended, the whistling continued 1298 01:46:44.458 --> 01:46:45.937 It was Papa 1299 01:46:46.494 --> 01:46:48.531 He was so proud of me 1300 01:46:49.897 --> 01:46:54.471 And now this message. Ashamed of you 1301 01:46:55.200 --> 01:47:00.350 There's a 'x/Vrong Number in your Papa's head 1302 01:47:00.941 --> 01:47:06.584 The day he gets rid of it, he'll whistle for you again 1303 01:47:06.947 --> 01:47:08.688 It won't happen 1304 01:47:09.350 --> 01:47:12.331 Don't be sad. Come with me 1305 01:47:12.353 --> 01:47:16.563 Onllqfiflvlllpuflinfl, lnluvlfllqchfl 1306 01:47:16.924 --> 01:47:18.426 What? 1307 01:47:18.659 --> 01:47:21.435 Recharge the battery! 1308 01:47:21.662 --> 01:47:24.472 JMII ulufloopymo 1309 01:47:29.603 --> 01:47:31.344 What are we doing? 1310 01:47:37.344 --> 01:47:38.948 Shut your eyes! 1311 01:47:39.460 --> 01:47:40.787 How do I copy then? 1312 01:47:40.848 --> 01:47:42.759 Nd!- Knupllllnopm 1313 01:49:16.977 --> 01:49:19.981 To steal glances at you all day 1314 01:49:20.381 --> 01:49:23.210 To strain for every word you say 1315 01:49:23.484 --> 01:49:26.431 To put every chore aside 1316 01:49:26.687 --> 01:49:29.668 And follow your every stride 1317 01:49:29.823 --> 01:49:32.497 That's nothing but a waste of time 1318 01:49:32.927 --> 01:49:35.771 Love is a waste of time 1319 01:49:36.330 --> 01:49:38.776 Amore is nothing more 1320 01:49:39.333 --> 01:49:42.280 Love is a waste of time 1321 01:49:42.670 --> 01:49:45.674 But my mind and heart insist 1322 01:49:45.873 --> 01:49:48.717 Once in this life at least 1323 01:49:49.276 --> 01:49:51.552 I must waste my time 1324 01:49:51.879 --> 01:49:54.621 Without reason or rhyme 1325 01:49:55.150 --> 01:49:57.894 I want to waste my time 1326 01:49:58.319 --> 01:50:00.822 I love this waste of time 1327 01:50:17.938 --> 01:50:22.409 A zillion peeps into the mirror 1328 01:50:24.378 --> 01:50:29.200 A million times I've styled my hair 1329 01:50:30.818 --> 01:50:35.961 Countless sets of clothes I've tried 1330 01:50:37.324 --> 01:50:41.739 Emptied perfume bottles with flair 1331 01:50:43.397 --> 01:50:49.279 Dressing up is all I did Did nothing else worthwhile 1332 01:50:49.937 --> 01:50:52.781 Now I understand 1333 01:50:53.700 --> 01:50:55.749 That love is waste of time 1334 01:50:56.277 --> 01:50:59.281 But my mind and heart insist 1335 01:50:59.480 --> 01:51:02.484 Once in this life at least 1336 01:51:02.750 --> 01:51:05.321 I must waste my time 1337 01:51:05.486 --> 01:51:08.365 Without reason or rhyme 1338 01:51:08.722 --> 01:51:11.601 I want to waste my time 1339 01:51:11.892 --> 01:51:15.305 I love this waste of time 1340 01:51:50.731 --> 01:51:55.407 My world has topsy-turvy turned 1341 01:51:57.438 --> 01:52:02.387 I know not how to tell you 1342 01:52:03.744 --> 01:52:08.750 I smile without rhyme or reason 1343 01:52:09.950 --> 01:52:14.626 What's happening I have no clue 1344 01:52:16.457 --> 01:52:22.305 The mind just wants to soar And from rooftops yeH 1345 01:52:22.796 --> 01:52:28.906 Now! understand Love is a waste of time 1346 01:52:29.303 --> 01:52:32.409 But my mind and heart insist 1347 01:52:32.539 --> 01:52:35.452 Once in this life at least 1348 01:52:35.676 --> 01:52:37.849 I must waste my time 1349 01:52:38.746 --> 01:52:41.352 Without reason or rhyme 1350 01:52:41.515 --> 01:52:44.587 I want to waste my time 1351 01:52:44.818 --> 01:52:48.322 I love this waste of time 1352 01:53:27.861 --> 01:53:31.350 The donation box is getting more questions than cash 1353 01:53:31.465 --> 01:53:36.380 Your relics don't sell anymore 1354 01:53:36.770 --> 01:53:40.877 Millions of abuses on Facebook and Twitter 1355 01:53:42.443 --> 01:53:45.720 uludllvo? - Tlnooduhlwpolt 1356 01:53:46.460 --> 01:53:48.260 The abuses are in here 1357 01:53:48.715 --> 01:53:54.893 It's time for action, Sir. Avoiding the issue can be disastrous 1358 01:53:59.560 --> 01:54:01.620 Missing: God 1359 01:54:01.462 --> 01:54:02.873 Call Cherry Bajwa 1360 01:54:03.564 --> 01:54:07.444 Tipsy has asked many questions. I'll ask him just one 1361 01:54:07.601 --> 01:54:10.548 - Hey Jaggu - What happened? 1362 01:54:11.505 --> 01:54:14.918 His Holiness wants to come on the show. To debate with Tipsy 1363 01:54:15.420 --> 01:54:17.818 - Tipsy'll rip him! - It'll be a mother of a show! 1364 01:54:18.450 --> 01:54:21.515 Get Tipsy ready. Put the promos out 1365 01:54:21.782 --> 01:54:25.594 'The Final Question' Sunday 6:00 pm 1366 01:54:27.488 --> 01:54:31.959 Don't rnEEhljQeGIT-graaélfiuestfon ' 1367 01:54:32.590 --> 01:54:36.906 My pal's become a star! Hey look, he's a rock star 1368 01:54:37.300 --> 01:54:40.807 Rock star was roaming butt naked 1369 01:54:41.100 --> 01:54:46.314 I made him a star. The bloke's on TV 1370 01:54:46.740 --> 01:54:52.850 and me - in this shanty town, this crappy shack 1371 01:54:53.313 --> 01:54:57.659 guzzling booze with a jackass like you 1372 01:54:57.751 --> 01:54:59.924 Star my foot! 1373 01:55:15.969 --> 01:55:18.540 Tipsy, some Bhairon Singh for you 1374 01:55:18.805 --> 01:55:19.909 Bhairon! 1375 01:55:20.400 --> 01:55:21.883 Take that line 1376 01:55:23.343 --> 01:55:25.653 - Bml nmuuyu 1377 01:55:25.846 --> 01:55:27.826 You're a rock star! 1378 01:55:27.948 --> 01:55:30.360 Bro, where are you? 1379 01:55:30.450 --> 01:55:33.556 Inlhlfln. Ooniqhbollhnnnun 1380 01:55:33.787 --> 01:55:36.563 With a gift for you 1381 01:55:36.890 --> 01:55:41.305 I've nabbed the thief who stole your stuff 1382 01:55:41.562 --> 01:55:44.543 He sold it for 4O grand 1383 01:55:45.320 --> 01:55:47.376 -1hvlmn. Jilin? 1384 01:55:47.834 --> 01:55:51.304 His Holiness! 1385 01:55:53.473 --> 01:56:00.448 God said." it's a divine bead from Lord Shiva's necklace. Take it... 1386 01:56:00.881 --> 01:56:06.695 . and enshrine it in a grand tempie. Sighting this bead... 1387 01:56:06.853 --> 01:56:08.332 "II. 1388 01:56:09.523 --> 01:56:11.696 What happened? 1389 01:56:12.590 --> 01:56:15.871 The thief who stole my remote is caught 1390 01:56:16.290 --> 01:56:17.531 What! Really? 1391 01:56:17.698 --> 01:56:23.460 Bro said, the thief sold it to His Holiness 1392 01:56:23.337 --> 01:56:25.440 Then His Holiness is finished! 1393 01:56:25.772 --> 01:56:29.618 We'll tell him - return the remote, 1394 01:56:29.876 --> 01:56:32.356 or the thief tells all on TV 1395 01:56:32.946 --> 01:56:38.521 So he didn't find my remote in the Himalayas! He's lying 1396 01:56:39.519 --> 01:56:43.626 Wrong Numbers are not floated by some fake God... 1397 01:56:44.240 --> 01:56:46.402 ...but by His Holiness 1398 01:56:48.729 --> 01:56:51.500 You knew this Jaggu? 1399 01:56:51.298 --> 01:56:53.608 Remember the day you mentioned 'x/Vrong Number 1400 01:56:53.867 --> 01:56:58.839 All his calls are going to a Wrong Number 1401 01:56:59.390 --> 01:57:03.784 I knew then you were on the wrong track. But I kept mum 1402 01:57:04.110 --> 01:57:07.788 If you'd called him a fraud, people would have killed you 1403 01:57:07.948 --> 01:57:10.530 People crave for the unique 1404 01:57:10.384 --> 01:57:11.920 Wrong Number! 1405 01:57:12.319 --> 01:57:15.270 Your Wrong Number concept was unique 1406 01:57:15.422 --> 01:57:17.902 Today the world supports you 1407 01:57:18.250 --> 01:57:22.667 Tipsy, my plan worked! You're going home! 1408 01:57:27.401 --> 01:57:30.780 W-r-fl,' il-IIII" 1409 01:57:31.400 --> 01:57:33.848 “mil-III 1410 01:57:35.542 --> 01:57:38.421 We'll never meet again 1411 01:57:39.880 --> 01:57:42.952 There will be such a void 1412 01:57:44.284 --> 01:57:46.924 I'll really miss you 1413 01:57:48.689 --> 01:57:50.760 Shall I stay back? 1414 01:57:53.627 --> 01:57:56.301 How can you? 1415 01:57:56.963 --> 01:58:00.410 Simple, I have a job 1416 01:58:00.867 --> 01:58:03.939 I'll get some ID made and settle here 1417 01:58:04.438 --> 01:58:08.648 I'll find someone to 'waste time' with me 1418 01:58:09.309 --> 01:58:11.687 I'll marry her 1419 01:58:11.945 --> 01:58:14.687 wan Angler: 1420 01:58:14.981 --> 01:58:19.521 Your wife will go nuts introducing you - 1421 01:58:20.320 --> 01:58:23.858 Infill!- ma..." 1422 01:58:24.825 --> 01:58:28.340 That's not my name! 1423 01:58:28.328 --> 01:58:30.934 'TUIIIYW Jlgdlndnlno 1424 01:58:32.332 --> 01:58:37.975 W“ T111. Zqluyiigii? we? 1425 01:58:38.739 --> 01:58:44.417 A man's name must match his personality 1426 01:58:44.611 --> 01:58:46.284 Right! 1427 01:58:46.413 --> 01:58:48.916 So how is my personality? 1428 01:58:49.349 --> 01:58:51.295 I'll explain 1429 01:58:51.852 --> 01:58:54.526 A poet once wrote... 1430 01:58:56.289 --> 01:58:59.293 Irony of mismatched names... 1431 01:58:59.459 --> 01:59:02.736 No poetry, please! I've something to say 1432 01:59:03.396 --> 01:59:07.845 l/Vho says 'What's in a name?' 1433 01:59:09.402 --> 01:59:13.430 fiyullkrlqfllbllalb, 1434 01:59:14.400 --> 01:59:17.988 Mr Burns is in fact so cool 1435 01:59:18.445 --> 01:59:21.324 With violence alone Mr Peace does rule 1436 01:59:22.649 --> 01:59:28.327 His name is Mr Fox But has no bushy tail 1437 01:59:29.322 --> 01:59:33.896 'Hamill-IQ' 1438 01:59:34.327 --> 01:59:38.332 One whole ton is the weight of Mr Flower 1439 01:59:38.799 --> 01:59:42.611 At his mere sigh t, the poor chair does cower 1440 01:59:42.769 --> 01:59:44.476 Very nice... very nice 1441 01:59:44.704 --> 01:59:48.311 Here's a bunch of cards with different names 1442 01:59:48.608 --> 01:59:51.987 Pick the one you like 1443 01:59:52.312 --> 01:59:54.849 Dand u ram Thatte? 1444 01:59:55.382 --> 01:59:57.794 - Disaster! - Next! 1445 01:59:58.552 --> 02:00:00.327 Tutari Singh? 1446 02:00:00.620 --> 02:00:02.395 Phooey! 1447 02:00:03.456 --> 02:00:04.958 Sarfaraz 1448 02:00:09.462 --> 02:00:11.999 -"-'lmu? I“ 1449 02:00:12.399 --> 02:00:15.730 Keep going, find a good name 1450 02:00:18.538 --> 02:00:20.400 What's the matter? 1451 02:00:20.740 --> 02:00:22.413 Nothing 1452 02:01:14.828 --> 02:01:16.739 'Hamill-IQ' 1453 02:01:30.844 --> 02:01:32.619 Brother! 1454 02:02:05.278 --> 02:02:08.851 God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground 1455 02:02:09.316 --> 02:02:12.593 God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground 1456 02:02:13.286 --> 02:02:17.291 Nowadays He doesn't have Time to look around 1457 02:02:17.424 --> 02:02:21.429 God is in His Heaven We mortals on ground 1458 02:02:29.502 --> 02:02:32.949 Whatever may happen here He does not reprimand 1459 02:02:33.440 --> 02:02:37.445 Thousand evils, million wrongs He does not take a stand 1460 02:02:37.644 --> 02:02:41.922 Plundering is all around Bombs come to hound 1461 02:03:29.562 --> 02:03:32.907 A terrorist outfit has claimed responsibility for the blast 1462 02:03:33.333 --> 02:03:36.473 They say this was a mock driH 1463 02:03:36.936 --> 02:03:39.644 Persecute our people, and real war will follow 1464 02:03:39.939 --> 02:03:42.920 We shall protect our God 1465 02:04:04.364 --> 02:04:06.537 Where are you going, Tipsy? 1466 02:04:07.367 --> 02:04:08.573 On the show 1467 02:04:08.835 --> 02:04:10.872 You don't have to 1468 02:04:13.339 --> 02:04:15.785 1469 02:04:30.390 --> 02:04:35.635 'The Fina! Question' Vkfelcome to our special show 1470 02:04:35.829 --> 02:04:37.399 in which we meet Tipsy... 1471 02:04:37.464 --> 02:04:39.501 Wait a minute 1472 02:04:45.371 --> 02:04:47.317 Bring it 1473 02:04:52.779 --> 02:04:54.588 What is this? 1474 02:04:54.848 --> 02:04:59.524 God says: it's a divine bead from His necklace 1475 02:04:59.786 --> 02:05:03.427 This man claims, it's his property 1476 02:05:04.324 --> 02:05:07.669 God says: build a temple 1477 02:05:08.328 --> 02:05:11.707 And this man opposes it 1478 02:05:11.931 --> 02:05:17.404 'Vxfho do I listen to? God, or this gentleman 1479 02:05:17.770 --> 02:05:23.550 who used to hand out these blasphemous pamphlets? 1480 02:05:24.911 --> 02:05:27.949 First he claimed, God is missing 1481 02:05:28.648 --> 02:05:30.628 Then said, God is a fraud 1482 02:05:30.850 --> 02:05:34.627 Next he'll say, God is dead 1483 02:05:36.220 --> 02:05:41.563 What do you want, son? A world without God? 1484 02:05:43.730 --> 02:05:48.338 Do you have any clue how people suffer? 1485 02:05:48.668 --> 02:05:50.944 No food to eat 1486 02:05:51.638 --> 02:05:53.640 No place to live 1487 02:05:54.541 --> 02:05:57.351 No friend to talk to 1488 02:05:57.810 --> 02:06:04.455 People kill themselves. Slit their wrists, jump off buildings 1489 02:06:04.751 --> 02:06:08.756 "w? Boolnolhqllvomlnpo 1490 02:06:09.322 --> 02:06:13.771 If bowing before God, smearing holy ash, 1491 02:06:14.527 --> 02:06:19.340 wearing amulets, gives them hope to live, 1492 02:06:19.532 --> 02:06:24.345 then who are you to snatch away that hope? 1493 02:06:24.804 --> 02:06:32.916 And if you snatch away their God, how will you fill that void? 1494 02:06:33.846 --> 02:06:37.885 This man rants about 'x/Vrong Numbers 1495 02:06:38.351 --> 02:06:44.290 Today he must tell us: what is the Right Number? 1496 02:06:51.864 --> 02:06:54.936 You are right, Your Holiness 1497 02:06:55.702 --> 02:07:01.311 There was a time I too had no food to eat 1498 02:07:01.941 --> 02:07:03.750 No place to live 1499 02:07:04.377 --> 02:07:09.451 becaulsgrliiil: friend 1500 02:07:10.817 --> 02:07:14.260 I had only one hope then - 1501 02:07:16.589 --> 02:07:18.432 God 1502 02:07:19.425 --> 02:07:22.565 Each day I hoped: tomorrow will be better 1503 02:07:22.862 --> 02:07:25.672 God will find a solution 1504 02:07:27.467 --> 02:07:34.770 If“ 1505 02:07:35.508 --> 02:07:39.650 the strength to face ordeals 1506 02:07:40.780 --> 02:07:43.351 But I have one question 1507 02:07:46.352 --> 02:07:49.299 Which God shall I believe in? 1508 02:07:50.290 --> 02:07:53.533 You say there is ONE God 1509 02:07:54.460 --> 02:07:56.440 'Wm 1510 02:07:57.430 --> 02:07:58.909 There are T\NO Gods 1511 02:08:00.466 --> 02:08:02.605 One who created us 1512 02:08:04.370 --> 02:08:08.110 And the other whom you created 1513 02:08:08.941 --> 02:08:12.354 We know nothing about the God who made us 1514 02:08:12.712 --> 02:08:17.491 BdllnGodYGlnlbw, blfllnyou 1515 02:08:17.784 --> 02:08:22.392 Pally. fihllnqniokpmnhoo 1516 02:08:22.488 --> 02:08:26.527 Readily meets the rich, keeps the poor waiting 1517 02:08:26.859 --> 02:08:30.329 Thrives on flatten]. Makes you live in fear 1518 02:08:32.365 --> 02:08:34.606 My Right Number is simple 1519 02:08:36.350 --> 02:08:40.745 The God who created us all, believe in Him 1520 02:08:42.308 --> 02:08:45.619 The God YOU created - 1521 02:08:46.546 --> 02:08:48.753 abolish him 1522 02:08:49.150 --> 02:08:50.494 Yes! 1523 02:08:50.883 --> 02:08:54.888 You'll abolish my God and I'll keep quiet? 1524 02:08:55.355 --> 02:08:59.394 I know how to protect my God 1525 02:08:59.559 --> 02:09:01.470 You will protect God? 1526 02:09:02.280 --> 02:09:03.939 You! 1527 02:09:04.330 --> 02:09:05.900 This is a puny planet 1528 02:09:06.632 --> 02:09:09.545 Billions of bigger planets float in space 1529 02:09:09.736 --> 02:09:14.583 And you, sitting in a tiny corner of this puny planet, have the nerve to say 1530 02:09:14.774 --> 02:09:18.483 you will protect Him, who created the Universe? 1531 02:09:19.545 --> 02:09:24.324 He doesn't need your protection. He can protect Himself 1532 02:09:27.787 --> 02:09:33.362 Today someone tried to protect God and my friend died 1533 02:09:34.327 --> 02:09:36.967 fllolanllhloldl- lhlhoo 1534 02:09:37.663 --> 02:09:39.939 Stop protecting God 1535 02:09:40.500 --> 02:09:43.879 Or this planet will have no humans, only shoes 1536 02:09:44.303 --> 02:09:46.613 A Muslim terrorist blows up a train 1537 02:09:47.507 --> 02:09:52.889 and a Hindu guru endures your sermon. That's nice 1538 02:09:53.279 --> 02:09:58.580 What's this Hindu, Muslim? Show me the label 1539 02:09:59.318 --> 02:10:01.992 -. d 1540 02:10:02.755 --> 02:10:08.728 This is the deadliest 'x/Vrong Number of this planet 1541 02:10:08.928 --> 02:10:11.670 It kills people, separates them 1542 02:10:12.310 --> 02:10:16.980 Like your Wrong Number separated Jaggu from Sarfaraz 1543 02:10:17.303 --> 02:10:23.310 - What Wrong Number? - That Sarfaraz will betray 1544 02:10:23.543 --> 02:10:25.989 He did betray her 1545 02:10:26.312 --> 02:10:30.624 mun-wagon? 4m: 1546 02:10:32.618 --> 02:10:39.832 You say my prediction about Sarfaraz was wrong? 1547 02:10:40.260 --> 02:10:41.266 Exactly! 1548 02:10:41.327 --> 02:10:45.469 Fllllnplwol- IIWOIIUIIIIHIPIVIIIU 1549 02:10:45.598 --> 02:10:50.130 fa" at adrnit 1550 02:10:50.369 --> 02:10:54.317 that you are a liar. You tried to defame me 1551 02:10:54.907 --> 02:10:56.978 What if I prove it? 1552 02:10:57.376 --> 02:10:59.140 Tipsy. . . don't! 1553 02:11:04.984 --> 02:11:06.725 Then this is yours 1554 02:11:12.758 --> 02:11:14.362 would 1555 02:11:14.794 --> 02:11:19.573 turf-akin! 1556 02:11:25.738 --> 02:11:32.451 I hope you will answer my questions truthfully 1557 02:11:34.847 --> 02:11:39.921 In Belgium you fell in love with a Pakistani boy 1558 02:11:41.387 --> 02:11:42.593 True or false? 1559 02:11:42.889 --> 02:11:45.301 Please spare my personal life 1560 02:11:45.424 --> 02:11:53.900 On Friday, at 3:21 pm I predicted this boy will betray you 1561 02:11:54.367 --> 02:11:58.713 The next day you went to the Marriage Registrar's office 1562 02:11:59.272 --> 02:12:00.945 but he didn't show up 1563 02:12:01.541 --> 02:12:03.919 True or false? 1564 02:12:04.100 --> 02:12:07.389 Yes, he didn't come. Please stop this 1565 02:12:08.781 --> 02:12:14.925 Now will you come to my feet or do I walk my feet to you? 1566 02:12:15.354 --> 02:12:19.302 - Sarfaraz did not betray. - Please let it go! 1567 02:12:19.358 --> 02:12:21.861 So- ""'n,¢'=n-I d“ 1568 02:12:22.295 --> 02:12:23.569 Please! 1569 02:12:23.729 --> 02:12:27.370 Just once, for my sake 1570 02:12:32.305 --> 02:12:35.343 I was at the Marriage Registrar's office and 1571 02:12:35.641 --> 02:12:37.484 a letter was brought to me 1572 02:12:37.543 --> 02:12:39.784 Did Sarfaraz bring it? 1573 02:12:41.647 --> 02:12:45.789 No. l-lolulllllluflnlkld 1574 02:12:45.985 --> 02:12:48.932 nanny-nu? m» 1575 02:12:49.255 --> 02:12:52.930 How do you know Sarfaraz sent it? 1576 02:12:55.995 --> 02:13:00.375 It could have been for some other girl 1577 02:13:02.902 --> 02:13:07.578 There was another girl. VVith a cat, right? 1578 02:13:09.542 --> 02:13:13.513 She gave you the cat to hold for a while 1579 02:13:14.480 --> 02:13:18.292 The kiddxaxéjhfieginfflgvgcgfzflge letter-? 1580 02:13:18.417 --> 02:13:21.296 - Nol dldyouhlowlin? 1581 02:13:21.687 --> 02:13:22.597 L\l0 1582 02:13:22.688 --> 02:13:26.431 Then how would he know the letter was for you? 1583 02:13:27.627 --> 02:13:34.340 Maybe he was told to give the letter to the girl with the cat 1584 02:13:36.469 --> 02:13:42.886 You read the letter, but didn't call Sarfaraz 1585 02:13:43.476 --> 02:13:45.717 pawl? 1586 02:13:46.512 --> 02:13:53.657 Because this man planted a 'x/Vrong Number - that Muslims betray 1587 02:13:53.986 --> 02:13:56.364 Sarfaraz didn't betray you 1588 02:13:56.489 --> 02:13:57.763 What's going on? 1589 02:13:58.357 --> 02:14:03.329 You expect us to believe these cat and bull stories? 1590 02:14:03.362 --> 02:14:04.602 One minute 1591 02:14:04.964 --> 02:14:09.370 We'll get to the truth right now. Call Sarfaraz 1592 02:14:09.368 --> 02:14:11.507 Hurry up! 1593 02:14:13.606 --> 02:14:17.530 This number does not exist 1594 02:14:17.910 --> 02:14:21.357 Any other number? Friend, college, something? 1595 02:14:21.547 --> 02:14:24.619 - C'mon Jaggu! - Belgium University 1596 02:14:29.550 --> 02:14:30.898 - Hello. - Hello! 1597 02:14:30.956 --> 02:14:34.995 I actually need to get in touch with one of your grad students 1598 02:14:35.361 --> 02:14:36.840 Sarfaraz Yousuf 1599 02:14:36.929 --> 02:14:39.375 Ohyodn. l-loldlhPiinkyfl 1600 02:14:40.366 --> 02:14:41.743 Has he left a number? 1601 02:14:41.801 --> 02:14:44.475 Sorry, we are not authorized to give out information 1602 02:14:44.704 --> 02:14:46.411 This is really important 1603 02:14:46.472 --> 02:14:49.385 E-mail us your request and I can forward it to Student Affairs 1604 02:14:49.642 --> 02:14:51.190 Have a nice day dear 1605 02:14:51.343 --> 02:14:53.500 His Pakistan number? 1606 02:14:53.312 --> 02:14:56.384 - Thi-n E°JZIQZZ°CYZrHnQ 1607 02:14:57.316 --> 02:14:59.762 I work at the Pakistan Embassy 1608 02:15:00.319 --> 02:15:02.890 w- 1609 02:15:03.589 --> 02:15:05.830 lfllgofllholiflilElllltq, 1610 02:15:05.891 --> 02:15:08.337 - Oollyfl. - Plllonlh0lp0dln 1611 02:15:11.597 --> 02:15:13.508 Greetings. Pakistan E mbassy 1612 02:15:14.330 --> 02:15:15.569 Hello 1613 02:15:17.690 --> 02:15:20.380 A student from Lahore worked with you 1614 02:15:20.573 --> 02:15:24.419 - SIHI'&. -BIUIKK“IT? 1615 02:15:27.120 --> 02:15:29.515 Hello... is your name Jaggu? 1616 02:15:29.949 --> 02:15:31.622 How do you know? 1617 02:15:31.984 --> 02:15:35.727 Tllluiualu':'n.-i°-"'h' 1618 02:15:35.855 --> 02:15:37.596 Farah, it's Jaggu calling 1619 02:15:37.656 --> 02:15:41.297 Mr Sayyed, hurry, it's Jaggu's call from India 1620 02:15:41.527 --> 02:15:44.700 On the double everyone! 1621 02:15:46.766 --> 02:15:52.580 Sarfaraz Yousuf calls us from Lahore, every day at 9 am 1622 02:15:53.506 --> 02:15:57.579 And with impeccable politeness asks just one question: 1623 02:15:57.910 --> 02:16:02.723 Was there a call for me from India - from Jaggu? 1624 02:16:02.948 --> 02:16:05.986 We say “No“, and he disconnects 1625 02:16:06.385 --> 02:16:08.331 He's driven us crazy 1626 02:16:08.521 --> 02:16:11.920 VB. rloomadyouhlin 1627 02:16:26.505 --> 02:16:27.609 Hello... 1628 02:16:28.541 --> 02:16:31.750 - Mr Sarfaraz Yousuf? - Yes, speaking 1629 02:16:32.440 --> 02:16:35.958 - VVhere are you? - In Lahore. Vkfhy? 1630 02:16:36.448 --> 02:16:41.397 Arauunvwfilwfl JAhmnNlfl? 1631 02:16:41.821 --> 02:16:45.598 Is there a chair or a bench nearby? 1632 02:16:45.925 --> 02:16:50.305 Please sit down. You're about to get a jolt 1633 02:16:51.497 --> 02:16:53.534 Pardon me? 1634 02:16:55.340 --> 02:16:57.412 You have a call from Delhi 1635 02:17:03.309 --> 02:17:05.846 Please speak here 1636 02:17:06.412 --> 02:17:08.653 Hello... 1637 02:17:09.548 --> 02:17:12.358 Sarfaraz... 1638 02:17:15.621 --> 02:17:17.362 JagQu~- 1639 02:17:19.358 --> 02:17:20.803 Hello... 1640 02:17:21.927 --> 02:17:25.670 ...hello Jaggu, what's the matter? 1641 02:17:26.932 --> 02:17:29.412 Had you come to the Marriage Registrar's office? 1642 02:17:29.435 --> 02:17:33.349 “$10 1643 02:17:34.390 --> 02:17:35.882 Why didn't you call? 1644 02:17:36.108 --> 02:17:41.456 You'd 'Egouri-'tlitgzoizélct rne' 1645 02:17:42.381 --> 02:17:44.861 I knew you were under family pressure 1646 02:17:44.984 --> 02:17:51.492 But deep down I knew, one day you would contact me 1647 02:17:53.859 --> 02:17:57.363 What took you so long? 1648 02:17:58.297 --> 02:18:02.541 I sally. lhnllyulrnvfinlqlhlllllll' 1649 02:18:09.808 --> 02:18:14.416 Just got the right number from a friend 1650 02:18:39.872 --> 02:18:41.579 Thank you son 1651 02:19:16.475 --> 02:19:18.352 Here, hold this 1652 02:19:42.468 --> 02:19:45.779 Tipsy! You're taking batteries home? 1653 02:19:45.971 --> 02:19:50.750 - Don't get them there. - So many! For what? 1654 02:19:50.976 --> 02:19:54.924 Back home, I'll listen to the sounds I've recorded 1655 02:19:55.314 --> 02:19:56.588 What sounds? 1656 02:19:56.849 --> 02:20:01.355 Earth sounds - crows, traffic honking 1657 02:20:01.487 --> 02:20:03.797 Up there, you'll listen to cars honking? 1658 02:20:04.230 --> 02:20:08.972 Now and then - when I miss this planet 1659 02:20:11.397 --> 02:20:14.844 l-libfglai 1660 02:20:14.933 --> 02:20:16.503 Forget it, Tipsy! 1661 02:20:16.568 --> 02:20:20.380 You kidding? It's stuffed with batteries 1662 02:20:20.539 --> 02:20:22.917 Wait! 1663 02:20:25.911 --> 02:20:29.358 Driver. . . please stop! 1664 02:20:42.861 --> 02:20:46.673 Everyone on your planet has stick-out ears? 1665 02:20:47.866 --> 02:20:51.600 And they roam around naked? 1666 02:20:52.538 --> 02:20:55.542 Why are you staring? Something on my face? 1667 02:20:59.678 --> 02:21:05.287 I was in tenth grade, when I wrote my first poem, 1668 02:21:06.819 --> 02:21:08.662 KPH. 1669 02:21:09.721 --> 02:21:15.340 Tllvuvwlunlnnnnu. laqpni... 1670 02:21:22.534 --> 02:21:26.380 ibtpulilifllalit 1671 02:21:28.841 --> 02:21:30.752 Pal, you're really cute 1672 02:21:32.544 --> 02:21:35.991 I-HUIIIX i}? 1673 02:21:36.882 --> 02:21:40.762 l/Vho says "I/Vhafs in a name?" 1674 02:21:41.887 --> 02:21:45.960 No tape had sounds of crows or traffic honking 1675 02:21:46.725 --> 02:21:49.865 Every tape had just my voice 1676 02:21:57.569 --> 02:21:59.606 'Hamill-IQ' 1677 02:22:04.900 --> 02:22:05.716 Got it! 1678 02:22:11.160 --> 02:22:13.622 He sure made me run! 1679 02:22:16.822 --> 02:22:20.292 Tipsy, what's in these tapes? 1680 02:22:20.726 --> 02:22:23.832 _ 1681 02:22:36.308 --> 02:22:40.586 Every night, when your planet rises, I'll play these tapes 1682 02:22:41.813 --> 02:22:47.422 And fiil?heily°u' 1683 02:22:49.555 --> 02:22:53.469 Will you wave back... now and then? 1684 02:22:55.460 --> 02:22:58.441 Haven't you recorded my voice? 1685 02:22:58.797 --> 02:23:01.368 Your voice? 1686 02:23:01.700 --> 02:23:05.876 Illiklllvo... lllonopoulnyoulnchd 1687 02:23:06.972 --> 02:23:09.782 One poem? That's it? 1688 02:23:12.811 --> 02:23:15.417 I'm not exactly in love with you... 1689 02:23:15.781 --> 02:23:18.819 "huiflnylino ovuryoul 1690 02:23:37.736 --> 02:23:40.945 He didn't look back. Not once 1691 02:23:41.340 --> 02:23:43.513 He was hiding his tears 1692 02:23:44.409 --> 02:23:49.381 One thing he learnt from us. One thing he taught us 1693 02:23:49.748 --> 02:23:52.388 He learnt from us how to fie... 1694 02:23:52.751 --> 02:23:56.927 . and taught us how to love 1695 02:23:57.856 --> 02:24:00.860 lbillli IIRIIP 1696 02:24:01.526 --> 02:24:06.839 He came here naked. As children do 1697 02:24:07.966 --> 02:24:13.814 Asked a lot of questions. As children do 1698 02:24:15.941 --> 02:24:19.470 And then one day... 1699 02:24:20.545 --> 02:24:23.651 ...he went away 1700 02:24:24.483 --> 02:24:28.932 Four billion miles away 1701 02:24:30.355 --> 02:24:34.497 He left me two parting gifts 1702 02:24:36.361 --> 02:24:38.602 Sarfaraz 1703 02:24:39.398 --> 02:24:42.311 and Papa 1704 02:24:44.403 --> 02:24:51.582 Till I live... every night I'll look at his planet and wave 1705 02:24:53.612 --> 02:24:58.459 I'm sure, he'll do the same 1706 02:25:01.386 --> 02:25:04.424 I miss him 1707 02:25:43.280 --> 02:25:47.443 Fellow astronauts, prepare to land on Earth 1708 02:25:47.499 --> 02:25:51.572 Remember the four Earth Survival Commandments 1709 02:25:51.803 --> 02:25:54.682 (In: Dolllmlnlnuulndnd 1710 02:25:54.973 --> 02:26:00.480 Cuddling, making love etc. must be done in closed rooms 1711 02:26:00.612 --> 02:26:04.560 But fighting, making war etc. Is allowed in the open 1712 02:26:04.850 --> 02:26:08.593 Two." Beware of language, it's confusing 1713 02:26:08.653 --> 02:26:12.499 If Earthlings say, 'I love chicken and fish,' 1714 02:26:12.657 --> 02:26:16.332 it doesn't mean they love animals, 1715 02:26:16.561 --> 02:26:20.907 but that animals are on the lunch menu 1716 02:26:21.333 --> 02:26:25.975 The gap between thought and speech is our topic of research 1717 02:26:26.605 --> 02:26:30.348 Three: On landing, find dancing cars for clothes 1718 02:26:30.409 --> 02:26:37.588 Hide your remotes deep in your underwear, safe from thieves 1719 02:26:37.816 --> 02:26:40.922 Four: the mother commandment 1720 02:26:40.986 --> 02:26:45.457 If anyone says." I'M connect you to God, 1721 02:26:45.624 --> 02:26:50.400 dump the research, take a U-turn and run for your fife 1722 02:27:02.574 --> 02:27:05.384 Come, don't be afraid 1723 02:27:10.515 --> 02:27:13.325 What are you goggling at? 1724 02:27:13.919 --> 02:27:16.729 Dllvonqndloln. 4M1? 1725 02:27:17.823 --> 02:27:22.602 On your last visit, how often were you whacked? 1726 02:27:30.535 --> 02:27:33.345 - What's this? - Self-defense! 1727 02:27:33.605 --> 02:27:35.710 Safety gadgets? 1728 02:27:35.941 --> 02:27:39.411 JIIW- Jldlhunlnlfl“ 1729 02:27:39.544 --> 02:27:40.614 Kaput! 1730 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 1731 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 L:ll:I I:ll:I I:ll:I QDCDQD 1732 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 I:ll:I I:ll:I I:ll:I QDCDQD 1733 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 I:ll:I I:ll:I I:ll:I QDCDQD 1734 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 I:ll:I I:ll:I I:ll:I QDCDQD 1735 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 I:ll:I I:ll:I I:ll:I QDCDQD 1736 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 F? 1737 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:00.559 I:ll:I I:ll:I I:ll:I ca 1738 00:00:00.280 --> 00:00:03.280 OO (Di 1739 00:00:04.305 --> 00:00:10.381 OpenSubtitles.org require your login in mx player for uploading subtitles, please login now 122386

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