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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,001 --> 00:00:01,812 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:15,614 --> 00:00:16,883 [Keith] Although, violent protests have been 3 00:00:18,217 --> 00:00:19,151 a consistent feature of the current state of the nation, 4 00:00:20,285 --> 00:00:21,785 today's intense wave seem to have been triggered 5 00:00:21,787 --> 00:00:23,019 by the government's announcement of something they are calling 6 00:00:23,021 --> 00:00:26,523 the “Patriot's Oath,” a state sponsored initiative 7 00:00:26,525 --> 00:00:29,628 to have Americans sign a loyalty waiver of sorts. 8 00:00:29,861 --> 00:00:31,227 White House spokeswoman, Kerry Nance, 9 00:00:31,229 --> 00:00:32,295 elaborated on the program. 10 00:00:32,297 --> 00:00:34,167 [Kerry] People are frightened these days. 11 00:00:34,699 --> 00:00:36,699 There are a lot of folks in this country 12 00:00:36,701 --> 00:00:39,202 who are actively engaging in activities that are counter 13 00:00:39,204 --> 00:00:40,669 to our values and are quite frankly dangerous... 14 00:00:40,671 --> 00:00:43,138 [Sharon] I'm gonna be honest, it's really intense down here. 15 00:00:43,140 --> 00:00:45,708 We're gonna see if we can go in, take a closer look 16 00:00:45,710 --> 00:00:47,644 and talk to some people on the ground. Sir? 17 00:00:47,646 --> 00:00:48,981 [crowd chanting] Just say "Oath"! 18 00:00:49,180 --> 00:00:50,082 - [Sharon] Don't touch me! - [man] Sharon! 19 00:00:51,082 --> 00:00:51,748 [Sharon] Ow! Stop it! Get off my hair! 20 00:00:51,750 --> 00:00:52,685 [man] Someone help her! 21 00:00:53,686 --> 00:00:54,583 - [Sharon] Help! Ow! - [glass shatters] 22 00:00:54,585 --> 00:00:55,385 - [man] Sharon! - [crowd chanting] 23 00:00:55,387 --> 00:00:56,952 [man] Can someone get to Sharon? 24 00:00:56,954 --> 00:00:59,589 [Sharon] Somebody? Help! 25 00:00:59,591 --> 00:01:00,927 [sirens wailing] 26 00:01:01,159 --> 00:01:02,061 [Kerry] I want to know... 27 00:01:03,128 --> 00:01:04,464 that they see this country the way that I do. 28 00:01:05,330 --> 00:01:06,731 The Oath provides us a White Pages 29 00:01:06,999 --> 00:01:09,802 of people we know we can count on. 30 00:01:10,735 --> 00:01:12,801 - Yes, Alan. - [Alan] There will be 31 00:01:12,803 --> 00:01:15,137 a natural apprehension to something like this, 32 00:01:15,139 --> 00:01:17,741 so what do you say to the people who fear 33 00:01:17,743 --> 00:01:20,009 that if they don't sign this thing 34 00:01:20,011 --> 00:01:21,911 that this is a way of separating the people that are... 35 00:01:21,913 --> 00:01:23,747 - [Kerry] No, hold on. - ...with the administration... 36 00:01:23,749 --> 00:01:25,148 - Hold on, Alan. Hold on. - ...and that are against this... 37 00:01:25,150 --> 00:01:27,250 This is America. We cannot force people 38 00:01:27,252 --> 00:01:28,921 to say that they love their country. 39 00:01:29,288 --> 00:01:30,890 Nothing happens if you don't sign. 40 00:01:31,856 --> 00:01:33,659 But if you do sign, there are perks. 41 00:01:33,859 --> 00:01:34,794 Like I laid out earlier, 42 00:01:35,794 --> 00:01:36,895 you are eligible for an EITC tax credit. 43 00:01:38,264 --> 00:01:39,762 We want to reward those who trust and honor their country... 44 00:01:39,764 --> 00:01:41,733 - Are they serious? - This is crazy! 45 00:01:42,734 --> 00:01:44,667 [Kerry] And it's not like we have a day 46 00:01:44,669 --> 00:01:46,505 or a week or a month to do this. 47 00:01:46,871 --> 00:01:49,741 The deadline for signing is the day after Thanksgiving. 48 00:01:50,142 --> 00:01:51,177 Black Friday. 49 00:01:52,410 --> 00:01:54,546 That is almost a year from now, that gives the public... 50 00:01:54,913 --> 00:01:57,216 ample time to give this fair consideration. 51 00:01:58,249 --> 00:01:59,184 But I can tell you something, 52 00:01:59,818 --> 00:02:01,787 a lot of people will not need that time. 53 00:02:02,253 --> 00:02:03,255 They support this country 54 00:02:03,854 --> 00:02:05,758 and they're not afraid to let people know it. 55 00:02:05,990 --> 00:02:07,159 - Kai... - [Kerry] Next question. 56 00:02:08,359 --> 00:02:09,091 - ...we can't sign this thing. - Yeah, you're right! 57 00:02:09,093 --> 00:02:11,563 - This is insane. - Yeah, I mean... 58 00:02:12,164 --> 00:02:13,666 what is happening to the country? 59 00:02:14,199 --> 00:02:15,365 - This... - [Kai] Hmm. 60 00:02:15,367 --> 00:02:16,903 ...this is unacceptable! 61 00:02:17,936 --> 00:02:18,970 You know what... 62 00:02:20,004 --> 00:02:22,172 if you think, I'm gonna let that little girl 63 00:02:22,174 --> 00:02:24,341 grow up in shit like this, you're wrong. 64 00:02:24,343 --> 00:02:26,175 And you and I have a job to do. 65 00:02:26,177 --> 00:02:28,210 We got to fight this. This cannot happen. 66 00:02:28,212 --> 00:02:30,145 I'm not gonna allow this to happen 67 00:02:30,147 --> 00:02:32,348 - in my daughter's country. - Oh, you getting fired up, huh? 68 00:02:32,350 --> 00:02:34,617 I am fired up! I'm very upset about this shit. 69 00:02:34,619 --> 00:02:35,654 Take your shirt off. 70 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:37,990 - You want my shirt off? - Yeah, I want your shirt off. 71 00:02:39,091 --> 00:02:41,691 - [Kai] Mmm! - It's not, you know... 72 00:02:41,693 --> 00:02:44,060 - you looking beefy! - Well, no. It's not what it was 73 00:02:44,062 --> 00:02:45,929 ten years ago, but I hurt my lower back... 74 00:02:45,931 --> 00:02:48,163 - Yeah... - I have like half a pec there... 75 00:02:48,165 --> 00:02:51,136 - Mmm! Yes. - I got one of these. 76 00:02:51,736 --> 00:02:54,739 Ooh, that's what Mommy likes! 77 00:02:55,206 --> 00:02:57,107 Flex them titties, boy! 78 00:02:57,109 --> 00:02:59,145 You're gonna make me start breastfeeding. 79 00:02:59,978 --> 00:03:01,745 I'm not gonna get fat though. 80 00:03:01,747 --> 00:03:03,683 'Cause if I get fat, you're gonna leave me for Drake. 81 00:03:03,981 --> 00:03:05,281 Drake wishes I would. 82 00:03:05,283 --> 00:03:06,118 [man on TV] These protesters I mean, 83 00:03:07,152 --> 00:03:08,117 they're whipping things up into a frenzy... 84 00:03:08,119 --> 00:03:11,787 Everybody here just needs to calm down. 85 00:03:11,789 --> 00:03:12,922 [woman on TV] Don't tell me to be calm. 86 00:03:12,924 --> 00:03:13,793 Mmm, take your pants off. 87 00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:14,993 [woman on TV] I'm starting to hear very troubling 88 00:03:15,961 --> 00:03:15,994 things about activists being threatened. 89 00:03:16,996 --> 00:03:17,028 - [Chris] I'm not done with you. - [Kai] Oh, yeah. 90 00:03:19,164 --> 00:03:19,197 [woman on TV] This is the beginning of a purge 91 00:03:20,432 --> 00:03:21,333 and it needs to be stopped before it goes any further. 92 00:03:29,074 --> 00:03:31,441 [man on TV] We got five days left to sign this thing. 93 00:03:31,443 --> 00:03:32,908 I don't think we're gonna make it. 94 00:03:32,910 --> 00:03:35,377 I mean, New Orleans is a disaster zone. 95 00:03:35,379 --> 00:03:38,114 This is how Milwaukee started, everyone. It is very similar... 96 00:03:38,116 --> 00:03:40,083 [woman on TV] 'Cause the Citizens Protection Unit. 97 00:03:40,085 --> 00:03:41,817 I don't know who they're protecting, 98 00:03:41,819 --> 00:03:43,085 but it's not the citizens. 99 00:03:43,087 --> 00:03:44,121 And you know, I'm gonna say it, 100 00:03:44,123 --> 00:03:46,322 there's a real Gestapo-ey feeling to that. 101 00:03:46,324 --> 00:03:47,890 [woman 2 on TV] Here we go again. New record 102 00:03:47,892 --> 00:03:49,091 for number of people called a Nazi! 103 00:03:49,093 --> 00:03:49,925 [woman 1] Well, I'm sorry, 104 00:03:49,927 --> 00:03:50,895 - but it's true! - [man] Okay, 105 00:03:52,296 --> 00:03:52,329 - enough with the Nazi's. No... - [woman 1] You know it's true. 106 00:03:53,397 --> 00:03:53,962 - [Hardy] Can I have some bacon? - [cellphone rings] 107 00:03:53,964 --> 00:03:55,234 [Kai] No bacon, baby. 108 00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:00,705 Can I have peanut butter and jelly? 109 00:04:01,005 --> 00:04:02,008 [Kai] Uh, no. 110 00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,841 You're having cereal for breakfast today. 111 00:04:04,843 --> 00:04:07,776 If I eat my cereal can I have peanut butter and jelly? 112 00:04:07,778 --> 00:04:09,080 - Sure. - [Hardy whispers] Yes. 113 00:04:09,313 --> 00:04:12,317 [Hardy] Dad, Mom said I can have peanut butter and jelly! 114 00:04:12,783 --> 00:04:13,918 That is awesome. 115 00:04:14,152 --> 00:04:15,755 - Kai, look at this. - Hmm? 116 00:04:16,053 --> 00:04:18,220 People were protesting the oath last night in New Orleans, 117 00:04:18,222 --> 00:04:20,390 CPU showed up, f-u-c-k-e-d everyone. 118 00:04:20,392 --> 00:04:22,926 - Damn. - Look at that. Uh... [scoffs] 119 00:04:22,928 --> 00:04:23,863 It's happening! 120 00:04:24,996 --> 00:04:26,064 We're gonna have Milwaukee again, I guarantee it. 121 00:04:26,298 --> 00:04:27,299 That is a fact. 122 00:04:27,933 --> 00:04:29,368 All right, well can we just... 123 00:04:31,269 --> 00:04:33,001 - [Chris] Right, right. Sorry. - [Kai] Yeah, exactly. 124 00:04:33,003 --> 00:04:35,205 Okay, uh, my folks get here at like 3:30... 125 00:04:35,207 --> 00:04:37,207 - Mm-hmm. - Are you ready for the assault? 126 00:04:37,209 --> 00:04:39,508 I'll be fine. Because I'm fine with them. 127 00:04:39,510 --> 00:04:43,046 It's you that has the weird issues, will you be fine? 128 00:04:43,048 --> 00:04:45,080 Yes, I will be fine, and I have to save room 129 00:04:45,082 --> 00:04:47,484 for my brother when gets here and says something so stupid 130 00:04:47,486 --> 00:04:49,285 I call him a f-u-c-k-i-n-g moron. 131 00:04:49,287 --> 00:04:50,755 Okay, FYI... 132 00:04:51,356 --> 00:04:53,325 Baby girl can spell now. So... 133 00:04:53,525 --> 00:04:54,926 Did you understand what I just said? 134 00:04:55,159 --> 00:04:57,029 Yes, you just said a bad word. 135 00:04:57,294 --> 00:04:59,330 I am s-o-r-r-y. 136 00:05:00,065 --> 00:05:01,467 [Chris] Okay that's good to know! 137 00:05:01,933 --> 00:05:03,900 Oh God, I gotta go. I gotta go. I gotta go. 138 00:05:03,902 --> 00:05:06,104 Hey, Hardy, kiss blow on three, two, one... 139 00:05:07,072 --> 00:05:08,438 - I love you. - I love you. 140 00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:10,306 - I'll see you at like 5:30ish. - Okay. 141 00:05:10,308 --> 00:05:12,243 All right, call 911 if my parents act up. 142 00:05:13,010 --> 00:05:14,046 [Hardy chuckles] 143 00:05:14,378 --> 00:05:15,748 - Your Daddy crazy. - Yeah. 144 00:05:15,947 --> 00:05:17,249 [radio host] Now, here's the deal. 145 00:05:17,815 --> 00:05:19,816 Seventy-four percent of the country 146 00:05:19,818 --> 00:05:21,150 have already signed this thing. 147 00:05:21,152 --> 00:05:22,754 - No way! - [host] And that's just a fact! 148 00:05:23,087 --> 00:05:24,453 - And facts don't care... - Bullshit! 149 00:05:24,455 --> 00:05:25,290 ...about your feelings! 150 00:05:26,358 --> 00:05:27,491 [woman on radio] No, no. That's not true. 151 00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:28,624 - The real number is closer... - That is such a lie. 152 00:05:28,626 --> 00:05:31,994 ...to 40 percent, that is the real aggregate... 153 00:05:31,996 --> 00:05:33,362 Exactly, thank you. Thank you. 154 00:05:33,364 --> 00:05:35,934 ...and that poll you referenced is an outlier! 155 00:05:36,334 --> 00:05:37,967 [man over radio] How is this stupid oath 156 00:05:37,969 --> 00:05:40,005 going to end up being what destroys our country? 157 00:05:40,371 --> 00:05:42,472 [man 2] This is like a banana republic, but it's worse. 158 00:05:42,474 --> 00:05:43,939 - It's an old navy... - [knock on door] 159 00:05:43,941 --> 00:05:46,342 - What up? - Hey brother. 160 00:05:46,344 --> 00:05:48,880 Dude, are you following this New Orleans shit? 161 00:05:49,181 --> 00:05:51,282 Yeah, it is fucked up, man. 162 00:05:51,816 --> 00:05:52,751 Do you mind if I sit? 163 00:05:54,118 --> 00:05:55,253 Yeah, yeah, go ahead. 164 00:05:59,257 --> 00:06:01,861 [sighs] So, Chris, I'm signing it. 165 00:06:03,361 --> 00:06:04,930 - What? - Yeah. 166 00:06:05,996 --> 00:06:06,931 I'm sorry. 167 00:06:07,765 --> 00:06:09,868 What? How is that possible, dude? 168 00:06:10,234 --> 00:06:12,035 We were the guys! We were the guys that led 169 00:06:12,037 --> 00:06:13,602 - the march around the building! - I know. 170 00:06:13,604 --> 00:06:15,438 - We're the two holdouts! - I know. 171 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:18,377 Dude, we drove to Chicago for that rally! 172 00:06:18,943 --> 00:06:20,278 Do you remember that fart? The “Lingerer”? 173 00:06:20,912 --> 00:06:22,511 I remember the fart. I remember the “Lingerer.” 174 00:06:22,513 --> 00:06:24,347 Remember the Vine we made about the fart? 175 00:06:24,349 --> 00:06:25,881 [imitates fart] "Ooh", remember that? 176 00:06:25,883 --> 00:06:27,485 - [Dan chuckles] - Come on, dude! 177 00:06:28,919 --> 00:06:30,890 Chris, this whole thing is getting really scary. 178 00:06:31,989 --> 00:06:33,525 - I know. - Do you know... 179 00:06:34,926 --> 00:06:37,897 Paige's cousin from Philly, her boyfriend? 180 00:06:38,429 --> 00:06:41,800 [sighs] His brother organized a rally... 181 00:06:42,334 --> 00:06:45,137 and the CPUs came to his house and they just took him. 182 00:06:47,104 --> 00:06:48,371 - What? - [Dan] Yeah. 183 00:06:48,373 --> 00:06:50,075 - Are you serious? - [Dan] Yes. 184 00:06:50,541 --> 00:06:52,441 She hasn't talked to him in two days, 185 00:06:52,443 --> 00:06:54,112 fucking lawyers haven't talked to him. 186 00:06:54,546 --> 00:06:56,880 No one knows where he is, I don't know what's going on. 187 00:06:56,882 --> 00:06:58,984 - Paige is freaking out. - Is this verified? 188 00:07:00,185 --> 00:07:01,917 Is it ver... What do you mean, it's ver... 189 00:07:01,919 --> 00:07:03,888 I'm telling you right now. This is first hand. 190 00:07:04,356 --> 00:07:05,858 Well, no... [sighs] 191 00:07:07,424 --> 00:07:09,895 It's not first hand. [stutters] It's like... 192 00:07:10,262 --> 00:07:12,160 - third hand. - I don't understand. 193 00:07:12,162 --> 00:07:13,198 Well, it's not you... 194 00:07:14,465 --> 00:07:15,967 Are you calling Paige... Are you calling Paige's cousin a liar? 195 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,532 That'd be a fucked up thing to do! 196 00:07:17,534 --> 00:07:19,035 I'm not calling Paige's cousin a liar, 197 00:07:19,037 --> 00:07:20,505 but maybe Paige's cousin's, 198 00:07:21,005 --> 00:07:24,306 whatever, friend's boyfriend's brother is a liar. 199 00:07:24,308 --> 00:07:26,943 I don't know, do you even know this person? [laughs] 200 00:07:26,945 --> 00:07:28,244 Do I even... Yes, 201 00:07:28,246 --> 00:07:30,612 I met at him at Paige's aunt's wedding! 202 00:07:30,614 --> 00:07:33,383 Okay, we're really living in Paigeville it sounds like now, 203 00:07:33,385 --> 00:07:34,353 I just... 204 00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:37,921 I feel like maybe you're compromising 205 00:07:37,923 --> 00:07:39,422 your values system based off of information 206 00:07:39,424 --> 00:07:40,689 you're getting from someone you don't know very well. 207 00:07:40,691 --> 00:07:42,427 I think, you should maybe reconsider it. 208 00:07:44,195 --> 00:07:46,296 This is a really difficult situation for all of us, okay? 209 00:07:46,298 --> 00:07:48,200 And you're making this really hard for me. 210 00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:51,467 Hey man... 211 00:07:51,469 --> 00:07:54,005 I thought we were gonna do this together... 212 00:07:54,505 --> 00:07:56,041 but you got to do what's right for you. 213 00:07:57,075 --> 00:07:58,043 I'm sorry. 214 00:07:59,611 --> 00:08:01,046 So, are you still gonna hold out? 215 00:08:02,212 --> 00:08:04,950 Yeah, I think so. I mean... 216 00:08:06,250 --> 00:08:08,551 even if I wanted to sign, I don't think Kai would let me. 217 00:08:08,553 --> 00:08:09,986 - You know. - Good for you, man. 218 00:08:09,988 --> 00:08:11,486 I'm living vicariously through you. 219 00:08:11,488 --> 00:08:13,222 Stop it, come on, man. It's all good. 220 00:08:13,224 --> 00:08:14,159 All right. 221 00:08:14,993 --> 00:08:16,228 - [Chris] All right, man. - All right. 222 00:08:18,363 --> 00:08:19,498 [Dan] Phew. 223 00:08:20,464 --> 00:08:21,366 [sighs] 224 00:08:23,167 --> 00:08:24,202 Happy Thanksgiving. 225 00:08:25,270 --> 00:08:26,272 Happy Thanksgiving. 226 00:08:30,008 --> 00:08:30,909 [sighs] Fu... 227 00:08:32,310 --> 00:08:33,512 [man] I don't know what to say here. 228 00:08:34,011 --> 00:08:35,613 Just, uh, you know, don't get hurt? 229 00:08:36,213 --> 00:08:38,614 Don't get into any actual physical altercations 230 00:08:38,616 --> 00:08:41,086 with any family members. Happy Thanksgiving. 231 00:08:43,087 --> 00:08:45,524 - [Chris] Hi! - Oh, hey babe. 232 00:08:45,723 --> 00:08:49,292 - What's up baby? Hi. - Hey. 233 00:08:49,294 --> 00:08:51,060 How annoying are they being? One to ten. 234 00:08:51,062 --> 00:08:53,999 Uh, they are at a one. But you are a level four. 235 00:08:54,265 --> 00:08:55,465 - Four? - Four. 236 00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:56,534 I just got home! 237 00:08:56,768 --> 00:08:59,634 - Well, hello! - [Eleanor] Hi! 238 00:08:59,636 --> 00:09:01,372 [Eleanor] There's your Daddy! 239 00:09:02,039 --> 00:09:03,605 - Oh my goodness! - Hi, baby. 240 00:09:03,607 --> 00:09:06,408 - Hi, Mom! - Oh, I miss you! 241 00:09:06,410 --> 00:09:07,509 I miss you too. 242 00:09:07,511 --> 00:09:08,479 [football commentary on TV] 243 00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,382 - You look tired. Are you okay? - Yeah, I'm fine, thanks. 244 00:09:11,582 --> 00:09:13,115 Will you shave for Thanksgiving? 245 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:14,018 I will not. 246 00:09:14,852 --> 00:09:15,721 What do you say, Dad? How are you? 247 00:09:16,888 --> 00:09:18,357 The toilet paper roll broke off the wall, I fixed it. 248 00:09:19,223 --> 00:09:20,757 Good, good, good, good. 249 00:09:20,759 --> 00:09:22,792 Um, can I show you my mosaic I made? 250 00:09:22,794 --> 00:09:24,295 Um, I would love to see it. 251 00:09:25,163 --> 00:09:26,432 It's good to see you guys. 252 00:09:27,698 --> 00:09:28,831 Pop, can you turn it down a little bit? It's kinda loud. 253 00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:30,800 - Just turn it off, honey. - No, no he can turn it on. 254 00:09:30,802 --> 00:09:32,768 - Oh, he can turn it off. - Fine, I'll turn it off. 255 00:09:32,770 --> 00:09:34,803 - I don't need to see it. - You don't have to turn it off. 256 00:09:34,805 --> 00:09:36,140 You can turn it... Okay. 257 00:09:37,308 --> 00:09:39,010 Oh, no, you want to hit "satellite." 258 00:09:40,111 --> 00:09:41,643 [Chris] No, it's... Now it's in Spanish. 259 00:09:41,645 --> 00:09:43,982 - That's sap. - [Spanish commentary plays] 260 00:09:44,649 --> 00:09:46,150 You're not gonna... You wanna hit the... 261 00:09:46,384 --> 00:09:48,551 No, no, no, I got it, I got it. Just... 262 00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:50,652 Okay, it's fine. No, no, no. It's fine. It's good. 263 00:09:50,654 --> 00:09:51,454 You can do whatever you want, 264 00:09:51,456 --> 00:09:52,558 whatever you wanna do, it's fine. 265 00:09:53,457 --> 00:09:53,889 [Eleanor] You press the lower button. 266 00:09:53,891 --> 00:09:55,159 [Hank] I got it. 267 00:09:56,294 --> 00:09:56,993 And the volume's perfect here 'cause I can hear it 268 00:09:56,995 --> 00:09:58,197 all the way in the other room. 269 00:10:01,299 --> 00:10:03,331 Wait, what did Jo say? What happened? 270 00:10:03,333 --> 00:10:06,502 She came out and said, "Surprise”, and Jo said, 271 00:10:06,504 --> 00:10:07,706 “Are you kidding me?” 272 00:10:08,773 --> 00:10:10,205 Are you hitting me? Or kidding me? 273 00:10:10,207 --> 00:10:10,976 Kidding me. 274 00:10:11,809 --> 00:10:13,611 Jo is your funniest friend, I think. 275 00:10:14,611 --> 00:10:16,180 [Hardy] Can I watch Lab Rats? 276 00:10:16,581 --> 00:10:17,616 - Yes. - [cellphone rings] 277 00:10:18,683 --> 00:10:20,686 But only one episode. And not an extra-long one! 278 00:10:25,856 --> 00:10:27,358 [sighs] Jesus Christ. 279 00:10:28,293 --> 00:10:30,562 - What's wrong? - It's New Orleans. 280 00:10:30,761 --> 00:10:32,595 That shit's blowing up tonight, it's bad. 281 00:10:32,597 --> 00:10:34,797 - People are going to die. - Christopher, we said 282 00:10:34,799 --> 00:10:37,365 - we weren't gonna do that. - Mom, it's not politics. 283 00:10:37,367 --> 00:10:38,337 It's... it's... 284 00:10:39,670 --> 00:10:40,970 current events, you know, it's the news. It's happening now. 285 00:10:40,972 --> 00:10:45,044 I was very clear in my e-mail that we're not talking politics! 286 00:10:45,242 --> 00:10:46,676 It's going to ruin the entire weekend, 287 00:10:46,678 --> 00:10:49,311 you're destroying Thanksgiving. Explain it to him, Hank. 288 00:10:49,313 --> 00:10:51,049 I'm not getting involved. 289 00:10:51,582 --> 00:10:52,415 [Eleanor] Hank... 290 00:10:52,417 --> 00:10:54,153 There is nothing to be involved in... 291 00:10:54,751 --> 00:10:56,819 I put my phone away, I'm not gonna ruin Thanksgiving. 292 00:10:56,821 --> 00:10:58,590 - I promise. I promise. - [Hank] Attaboy. 293 00:10:59,189 --> 00:11:00,092 All right? 294 00:11:00,958 --> 00:11:02,693 - Rest assured. - [Eleanor] Thank you. 295 00:11:04,761 --> 00:11:06,064 What else? 296 00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:08,734 What's new with Mom and Dad, what's going on with you guys? 297 00:11:10,702 --> 00:11:11,636 Same old! 298 00:11:13,770 --> 00:11:15,774 - Did you hear about Nancy Adams? - No. 299 00:11:16,374 --> 00:11:17,743 - Stroke. Dead. - [Hank] Hmm. 300 00:11:18,476 --> 00:11:19,477 Oh, no. 301 00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:21,011 - Wow. - [Eleanor] Yeah. 302 00:11:22,679 --> 00:11:24,549 - What a mess. - Yeah, it's sad. 303 00:11:35,193 --> 00:11:36,428 What neighborhood is this? 304 00:11:36,794 --> 00:11:38,529 Um, Mid-Town. 305 00:11:39,164 --> 00:11:40,698 [indistinct conversation on radio] 306 00:11:40,932 --> 00:11:41,866 I don't recognize it, 307 00:11:42,900 --> 00:11:43,501 I don't think I've never been here before. 308 00:11:44,269 --> 00:11:45,303 It's basically our neighborhood. 309 00:11:46,337 --> 00:11:46,371 - We're just two blocks that way. - [tires screech] 310 00:11:47,438 --> 00:11:48,873 What is this guy doing? Man, come on. Dude, move. 311 00:11:49,808 --> 00:11:51,610 - [Chris] Whoa, whoa. - [tires screeching] 312 00:11:52,544 --> 00:11:53,879 - [car honking] - [Chris] Jesus. 313 00:11:54,411 --> 00:11:56,614 - [man] What's your problem? - No, no, no. 314 00:11:56,813 --> 00:11:58,314 - I'm pinned in here. - What's he doing? 315 00:11:58,316 --> 00:11:59,715 - I don't know, Mom. - What's that guy doing? 316 00:11:59,717 --> 00:12:01,283 [man] What the fuck are you stopping for? 317 00:12:01,285 --> 00:12:02,520 - Get out the car! - [Eleanor gasps] 318 00:12:02,953 --> 00:12:04,255 - [woman] Leave me alone! - [Eleanor gasps] 319 00:12:04,521 --> 00:12:06,489 - Oh, my God. - Okay, okay. 320 00:12:06,491 --> 00:12:07,956 Oh, my God. Back out, get out of here! 321 00:12:07,958 --> 00:12:10,361 I'm gonna say something to this guy. I got it. 322 00:12:10,595 --> 00:12:12,862 - [Eleanor] Christopher! - Hey, man! That's enough! 323 00:12:12,864 --> 00:12:14,399 [Eleanor] Stop it, Christopher, don't! 324 00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:18,200 Oh, my God, what's that guy doing? 325 00:12:18,202 --> 00:12:19,534 [Chris] I don't know, I don't know. 326 00:12:19,536 --> 00:12:20,771 - [Eleanor] He's got a knife! - Oh, my God. 327 00:12:22,039 --> 00:12:22,838 - I know, I know, no, no, no, no! - [Eleanor] Close it, close it! 328 00:12:22,840 --> 00:12:23,672 - No! Stop, stop! - Close the window. 329 00:12:23,674 --> 00:12:24,974 - [car honks] - Hardy, it's okay. 330 00:12:24,976 --> 00:12:27,645 - Get out of here! Get out... - I can't get out of here, Mom! 331 00:12:27,879 --> 00:12:29,811 - I can't! - Get out of here! Don't do that! 332 00:12:29,813 --> 00:12:31,614 [Eleanor] Oh, he's coming over. Oh, my God, what's he doing? 333 00:12:31,616 --> 00:12:33,548 - Stop! Stop it! - Stop it! Get out of here! 334 00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:34,785 [Eleanor] Drive away! Drive away! 335 00:12:36,587 --> 00:12:37,688 Fuck you, faggot! 336 00:12:39,656 --> 00:12:40,558 Oh, my God. 337 00:12:41,858 --> 00:12:43,158 [Eleanor] Let him go away, let him go away. 338 00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,664 - Get the fuck out of my country. - [Eleanor] God. He's leaving. 339 00:12:48,332 --> 00:12:49,931 Hardy, you okay? 340 00:12:49,933 --> 00:12:50,935 Are you okay, baby? 341 00:12:52,703 --> 00:12:53,902 [Eleanor] Get out of here, move. 342 00:12:53,904 --> 00:12:56,439 - I still... I can't, Mom. I'm... - Well just back out, 343 00:12:56,441 --> 00:12:58,407 I don't know how, just do something! 344 00:12:58,409 --> 00:13:00,645 There's a car behind me, Mom! I'm trying to handle it! 345 00:13:02,279 --> 00:13:03,615 Where do these go? The fennel. 346 00:13:04,881 --> 00:13:07,885 Uh, fennel goes in the fridge. Cheese will go in the fridge. 347 00:13:08,519 --> 00:13:11,523 Um, radishes can stay out. 348 00:13:12,624 --> 00:13:14,760 - Shallots are dry. Garlic... - Shallots are dry. 349 00:13:15,425 --> 00:13:17,393 - [Kai clears throat] - Hey. 350 00:13:17,395 --> 00:13:19,497 [Kai] Hardy said you were yelling at a man in the car? 351 00:13:20,265 --> 00:13:21,497 Yeah, yeah. 352 00:13:21,499 --> 00:13:23,669 - There was this road rage thing. - What? 353 00:13:24,669 --> 00:13:26,636 I didn't have it! This other guy had it. 354 00:13:26,638 --> 00:13:28,537 I didn't have road rage. You know, this guy came up 355 00:13:28,539 --> 00:13:30,973 and he pulled out a knife and started slashing tires 356 00:13:30,975 --> 00:13:32,841 and I just... you know, I yelled at him to stop. 357 00:13:32,843 --> 00:13:34,710 Okay. well, in the future, 358 00:13:34,712 --> 00:13:36,881 let's not yell at crazy people when Hardy's in the car. 359 00:13:37,281 --> 00:13:38,650 What if he would've rolled up on you? 360 00:13:39,417 --> 00:13:41,687 You weren't even there. And I handled it beautifully. 361 00:13:42,020 --> 00:13:42,920 I kept my cool. 362 00:13:43,721 --> 00:13:46,422 - So... thanks. - [doorbell rings] 363 00:13:46,424 --> 00:13:49,227 Oh, is that Patrick? Hank! Patrick's here! 364 00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:50,828 [Hank] I'm up! I'm up! 365 00:13:51,295 --> 00:13:53,231 - [doorbell rings] - [Kai] We cool? 366 00:13:54,531 --> 00:13:56,267 - [doorbell rings] - [exhales] 367 00:13:59,069 --> 00:14:00,103 - Hey! - Yo, yo! 368 00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:01,903 - What's up, man, how are you? - What's up. 369 00:14:01,905 --> 00:14:04,040 - Hi! - Hi Katie, good to see you. 370 00:14:04,042 --> 00:14:05,508 Happy Thanksgiving. 371 00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:06,544 What? 372 00:14:09,347 --> 00:14:10,582 What is that? 373 00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:13,652 Abbie. Not Katie. 374 00:14:14,018 --> 00:14:15,254 [Pat] Abbie. 375 00:14:16,721 --> 00:14:19,955 Ugh! I am so sorry. I am so sorry. 376 00:14:19,957 --> 00:14:21,824 Come on, man! We've been together for like a year! 377 00:14:21,826 --> 00:14:23,825 No, I know, I know, I just thought... Katie was the old one. 378 00:14:23,827 --> 00:14:26,398 Don't say the old one. Don't even mention the old one. 379 00:14:26,597 --> 00:14:28,600 - Just help me out, man! - I'm sorry. 380 00:14:31,468 --> 00:14:32,938 Make yourself at home, Abbie! 381 00:14:37,808 --> 00:14:40,075 - So, the... - Uh... Go ahead. Sorry. 382 00:14:40,077 --> 00:14:42,047 I was gonna say, the place looks good. 383 00:14:42,612 --> 00:14:44,479 - Thanks, man. - Is this room new? 384 00:14:44,481 --> 00:14:45,549 [Kai scoffs] 385 00:14:45,949 --> 00:14:47,018 The living room? 386 00:14:49,087 --> 00:14:49,888 No. 387 00:14:51,356 --> 00:14:53,122 - No. - Pat, why'd you get in so late? 388 00:14:53,124 --> 00:14:54,793 - Was your flight delayed? - Ugh! 389 00:14:55,393 --> 00:14:57,759 There were all these fucking protestors at the airport, 390 00:14:57,761 --> 00:14:59,128 - so it took forever. - Yeah. 391 00:14:59,130 --> 00:15:01,397 The good job guys, piss off everyone. 392 00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:02,697 - [Abbie] Yeah. - [Pat] Idiots. 393 00:15:02,699 --> 00:15:03,601 [Abbie] Totally. 394 00:15:04,501 --> 00:15:06,067 Hey, this coffee is great, but I think, 395 00:15:06,069 --> 00:15:08,771 I'm ready to move onto the beer portion of the day. 396 00:15:08,773 --> 00:15:11,777 - [Hank] I'll join you. - Yeah! You having one? 397 00:15:12,577 --> 00:15:16,414 No, no, no, it's really early. But I will go get them for you. 398 00:15:19,817 --> 00:15:21,586 Sure, I'll take one. 399 00:15:24,822 --> 00:15:26,758 - Okay. - Thank you. 400 00:15:28,125 --> 00:15:31,563 - So, Abbie, how's work? - Oh, um... 401 00:15:32,163 --> 00:15:34,966 I was hurt, Eleanor. I'm on worker's comp. 402 00:15:35,165 --> 00:15:37,532 Oh no! What happened? 403 00:15:37,534 --> 00:15:40,136 Um, well, what happened was, I was leaving my office 404 00:15:40,138 --> 00:15:42,772 and a co-worker decided to hit me with her car. 405 00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:44,473 - Oh, my God! - Thank you. 406 00:15:44,475 --> 00:15:48,480 Yeah, I broke my clavicle and two bones in my right foot. 407 00:15:49,414 --> 00:15:51,080 Yeah, thank you so much, Lydia Wong. 408 00:15:51,082 --> 00:15:51,982 [Pat scoffs] 409 00:15:53,150 --> 00:15:54,885 What? Okay, well... 410 00:15:57,521 --> 00:15:58,924 - I'm sorry? - Well, that's not... 411 00:15:59,490 --> 00:16:00,491 [scoffs] 412 00:16:01,492 --> 00:16:02,325 - That's not appropriate. - [Abbie] I'm sorry? 413 00:16:02,327 --> 00:16:03,792 - That's not appropriate. - [Pat] What? 414 00:16:03,794 --> 00:16:05,761 - Chris? - No, you said her last name 415 00:16:05,763 --> 00:16:07,699 in a way that implied that Asian women are bad drivers. 416 00:16:07,999 --> 00:16:10,166 That is not the case. And that is offensive, I'm sorry. 417 00:16:10,168 --> 00:16:12,835 I absolutely did not say her name in a way that implied that. 418 00:16:12,837 --> 00:16:14,702 There was an emphasis on that Wong. 419 00:16:14,704 --> 00:16:16,874 - [Abbie] There was no emphasis. - [Pat] Hey, hey, and by the way, 420 00:16:17,442 --> 00:16:19,474 - some of them are bad drivers. - Bad drivers. 421 00:16:19,476 --> 00:16:21,777 Percentage-wise, who do you think gets in more car accidents 422 00:16:21,779 --> 00:16:23,582 in this country, white men or Asian women? 423 00:16:23,880 --> 00:16:26,715 - [chuckles] Asian women? - No, Dad. No. 424 00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:29,053 White men. I wouldn't have said it if it was Asians. 425 00:16:29,587 --> 00:16:32,754 Statistically speaking, Asians, safest drivers of any race. 426 00:16:32,756 --> 00:16:34,156 - That's a fact. - Okay. 427 00:16:34,158 --> 00:16:35,990 - Okay, Chris. Okay. - How do you know that? 428 00:16:35,992 --> 00:16:36,825 - Why do you know that? - Yeah. 429 00:16:36,827 --> 00:16:37,962 'Cause I read an article about it. 430 00:16:38,929 --> 00:16:40,564 Okay, was that article published by Asians? 431 00:16:40,765 --> 00:16:41,866 [Eleanor and Hank laugh] 432 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,600 Anyways, I'm so sorry that happened to you, Abbie. 433 00:16:45,602 --> 00:16:46,604 Thank you, Kai. 434 00:16:47,572 --> 00:16:49,604 But it was actually kinda fun, I have to say. 435 00:16:49,606 --> 00:16:52,508 Because I couldn't really move, so, I did a lot 436 00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:53,575 - watching TV... - Mm-hmm. 437 00:16:53,577 --> 00:16:56,615 ...kind of catching up on TV, and reading and... 438 00:16:56,981 --> 00:16:59,183 mixing it up with people online. 439 00:16:59,583 --> 00:17:00,584 - [Eleanor] Mixing it up? - Mm-hmm. 440 00:17:00,885 --> 00:17:01,952 - [Abbie] Yeah. - I like that! 441 00:17:02,153 --> 00:17:03,555 - [Abbie] Yeah. - [Eleanor] I do. 442 00:17:04,755 --> 00:17:05,689 What do you mean by that? Who are you mixing it up with? 443 00:17:06,590 --> 00:17:09,891 Oh, haters, primarily. And losers, also. 444 00:17:09,893 --> 00:17:11,060 - Haters and losers? - [Abbie] Mm-hmm. 445 00:17:11,062 --> 00:17:14,096 Oh, babe, babe. We have to get Hardy 446 00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:16,165 because we have to Facetime my parents before they leave. 447 00:17:16,167 --> 00:17:17,765 - Oh. - Okay, come on. 448 00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,234 - Okay. - Come on. 449 00:17:19,236 --> 00:17:20,572 [Chris] What is she talking about? 450 00:17:21,171 --> 00:17:22,871 What the fuck is that shit? 451 00:17:22,873 --> 00:17:24,807 - Man, you needed a break. - Yeah, I need a break. 452 00:17:24,809 --> 00:17:26,609 - Kai, Kai, Kai. - Okay. You needed a break. 453 00:17:26,611 --> 00:17:28,142 Let me tell you something, right now. 454 00:17:28,144 --> 00:17:30,612 My brother, I love him. [laughs] 455 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,182 What an asshole. And his girlfriend... [laughs] 456 00:17:33,184 --> 00:17:34,820 ...she sucks. 457 00:17:35,585 --> 00:17:37,852 - I did call her Katie. Yes! - No you didn't. 458 00:17:37,854 --> 00:17:39,588 - You've met her before! - I know. 459 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:41,893 One time at Uncle Lou's funeral! I was grieving! 460 00:17:42,226 --> 00:17:45,093 Okay, well, we know she's not great... 461 00:17:45,095 --> 00:17:46,262 - Yeah. - ...and we know that, 462 00:17:46,264 --> 00:17:49,197 so, let's just be cool with it and deal with it, okay? 463 00:17:49,199 --> 00:17:51,599 Okay. I'm telling you right now, if these motherfuckers 464 00:17:51,601 --> 00:17:53,702 bring up the Oath, I'm gonna lose my mind. Okay? 465 00:17:53,704 --> 00:17:56,071 I'm sure they're all about it. And if they go there, 466 00:17:56,073 --> 00:17:58,907 I. Will. Drop. Some. Shit. 467 00:17:58,909 --> 00:18:01,042 No. You. Won't. You wanna know why? 468 00:18:01,044 --> 00:18:02,878 Because I will drop some shit on you. 469 00:18:02,880 --> 00:18:05,113 And I don't even know what the fuck that means! 470 00:18:05,115 --> 00:18:06,550 Can we just chill? 471 00:18:06,984 --> 00:18:07,886 Huh? 472 00:18:08,218 --> 00:18:10,886 Look. Let's try to avoid 473 00:18:10,888 --> 00:18:13,621 that conversation for the next three days, okay? 474 00:18:13,623 --> 00:18:16,060 - No... no oath convo. - Okay. 475 00:18:16,593 --> 00:18:18,226 Let's leave the oath in the streets... 476 00:18:18,228 --> 00:18:20,498 - Yep. Yep. - And let's enjoy the holiday. 477 00:18:20,698 --> 00:18:22,234 - Okay. [sighs] - All right? 478 00:18:22,667 --> 00:18:24,803 God, that I don't believe in... 479 00:18:25,803 --> 00:18:26,834 give me the strength to get through 480 00:18:26,836 --> 00:18:28,839 the next three days, please. Amen. 481 00:18:29,140 --> 00:18:30,175 Hallelujah to that. 482 00:18:31,175 --> 00:18:32,942 Okay, let's Facetime your parents. 483 00:18:32,944 --> 00:18:35,046 Oh no, I just said that to get you out of the room. 484 00:18:36,080 --> 00:18:38,183 - That was a ruse? - Yes, that was a ruse. 485 00:18:38,783 --> 00:18:40,983 - You're the greatest. [kisses] - Mm. 486 00:18:40,985 --> 00:18:42,687 I don't know. Okay, let's go 487 00:18:42,986 --> 00:18:44,054 [Chris] Hello! 488 00:18:44,589 --> 00:18:46,057 [country rock music plays] 489 00:18:46,256 --> 00:18:48,223 [Hank] Jackson could do it all. He's got all the tools. 490 00:18:48,225 --> 00:18:50,059 - [Chris] There you go. - And Grinnel. 491 00:18:50,061 --> 00:18:51,295 - He's got a sick arm. - [Chris] Hey. 492 00:18:51,728 --> 00:18:53,963 Oh, yeah, I bet he'll wind up in Tampa. 493 00:18:53,965 --> 00:18:56,031 Oh, for sure. He's a big motherfucker. 494 00:18:56,033 --> 00:18:57,765 - Whoa. - Easy, easy on the language. 495 00:18:57,767 --> 00:18:59,734 Yeah, man. Can we try not swearing for like a second? 496 00:18:59,736 --> 00:19:00,639 - Just one second, please? - Sorry. Sorry. 497 00:19:01,906 --> 00:19:03,272 Sir, your apps are on the way, can I get anyone another drink? 498 00:19:03,274 --> 00:19:04,676 I'll do another SoCo and Coke. 499 00:19:05,141 --> 00:19:06,210 [waitress] Anyone else? 500 00:19:07,777 --> 00:19:09,014 I think we're good. 501 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:11,181 [Abbie giggles] 502 00:19:12,617 --> 00:19:14,719 What's so funny? What do you got going on over there? 503 00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:16,688 [snorts] I'm sorry. 504 00:19:17,254 --> 00:19:19,021 I'm so sorry. I just... 505 00:19:19,023 --> 00:19:21,192 I posted this article to Facebook 506 00:19:21,758 --> 00:19:24,726 and this guy just called me a dumb bitch, 507 00:19:24,728 --> 00:19:28,132 - so, I am fucking with him. - Let's watch the swears, Ka... 508 00:19:31,636 --> 00:19:32,303 [slurps] 509 00:19:33,204 --> 00:19:35,005 Were you just about to call me Katie? 510 00:19:37,374 --> 00:19:38,676 No. I said, 511 00:19:39,843 --> 00:19:41,278 “Let's watch the swears, K?” Like, “okay.” 512 00:19:42,846 --> 00:19:44,248 - No, you didn't. - What do I do here? 513 00:19:44,881 --> 00:19:46,715 - What do I do here, man? - Get my name right! 514 00:19:46,717 --> 00:19:48,282 - It's really not that hard. - Hey, hey, hey! 515 00:19:48,284 --> 00:19:50,351 - It's sort of base respect. - Hey! Remember, we had a talk? 516 00:19:50,353 --> 00:19:52,053 Just... Both of you need to chill. 517 00:19:52,055 --> 00:19:53,958 [indistinct chatter] 518 00:19:57,727 --> 00:19:58,596 - [thud] - [Chris] Whoa. 519 00:19:59,630 --> 00:20:00,696 [old man] Goddamn, plain bullshit, you hear me! 520 00:20:00,698 --> 00:20:01,798 [manager] Excuse me, sir, what's the problem? 521 00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:04,899 These punks are talking bullshit against our country. 522 00:20:04,901 --> 00:20:05,903 [man] We can say whatever we want. 523 00:20:06,905 --> 00:20:07,936 [old man] No, you can't say whatever you want! 524 00:20:07,938 --> 00:20:08,640 Hardy, I'm gonna say some names from Hogwarts, 525 00:20:09,707 --> 00:20:09,741 and I want you to tell me what house they're from. 526 00:20:10,742 --> 00:20:11,741 - [man] Fuck off old man. - [man 2] Settle down. 527 00:20:11,743 --> 00:20:14,109 - [Chris] Hey, hey, hey! - [old man] You fuck off! 528 00:20:14,111 --> 00:20:15,847 - Fuck the Oath, they say! - [manager] Sir, please... 529 00:20:16,112 --> 00:20:18,013 She's in Ravenclaw. 530 00:20:18,015 --> 00:20:20,014 - [Kai] Yes, she is. - You fuck off right now. 531 00:20:20,016 --> 00:20:22,386 You fuck off, do you hear me? Goddammit! 532 00:20:22,887 --> 00:20:25,320 You should feel grateful that you live in this country! 533 00:20:25,322 --> 00:20:26,321 You should feel grateful 534 00:20:26,323 --> 00:20:28,927 that you live in the United States of America! 535 00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:30,361 Fuck off. 536 00:20:31,563 --> 00:20:33,328 Fuck you all! Don't you put your goddamn hands on me. 537 00:20:33,330 --> 00:20:34,265 [woman shouting] 538 00:20:35,999 --> 00:20:37,433 [Eleanor] You touched all the food. 539 00:20:37,435 --> 00:20:38,803 All right, well... [sighs] 540 00:20:40,137 --> 00:20:41,869 - My hands are clean. - You're all family. 541 00:20:41,871 --> 00:20:43,641 - Have some celery, baby. - Germs don't really... 542 00:20:43,841 --> 00:20:45,940 The CPU, or Citizen's Protection Unit, 543 00:20:45,942 --> 00:20:48,142 that grew out of a division of Homeland Security, 544 00:20:48,144 --> 00:20:49,744 has been accused of being responsible 545 00:20:49,746 --> 00:20:51,879 for the disappearances of several dozen activists, 546 00:20:51,881 --> 00:20:53,384 including actor Seth Rogen. 547 00:20:54,051 --> 00:20:58,253 Jesus Christ. They took Seth Rogen. He's gone. 548 00:20:58,255 --> 00:21:00,121 - Straight up took him. - Are you serious? 549 00:21:00,123 --> 00:21:03,058 Yeah. And, and @philorange. Gone. 550 00:21:03,060 --> 00:21:05,494 - No one knows where he is. - I don't even know who that is. 551 00:21:05,496 --> 00:21:08,796 @philorange, he organized that big Oath Rally in Chicago 552 00:21:08,798 --> 00:21:10,465 - that I went with fucking Dan. - [Kai grunts] 553 00:21:10,467 --> 00:21:12,400 Dude, the government is straight up taking people 554 00:21:12,402 --> 00:21:13,337 and killing them! 555 00:21:14,071 --> 00:21:15,707 - [Kai yawns] - Hey... 556 00:21:16,407 --> 00:21:17,242 Hmm? 557 00:21:18,243 --> 00:21:19,010 It's gonna be scary the next couple days... 558 00:21:19,877 --> 00:21:21,111 we just gotta remember who we are... 559 00:21:21,344 --> 00:21:22,279 and we gotta remember that 560 00:21:23,281 --> 00:21:23,982 we're not gonna let them change who we are. 561 00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:25,150 Mm-hmm. 562 00:21:27,383 --> 00:21:29,051 - I love you. - Love you, too. 563 00:21:29,053 --> 00:21:31,019 I'm gonna watch the news for a little bit more, okay? 564 00:21:31,021 --> 00:21:32,788 - Okay. - [Keith] You have no idea, 565 00:21:32,790 --> 00:21:34,857 if they were taken by this government, you're saying that 566 00:21:34,859 --> 00:21:36,425 our government spent the time and resources... 567 00:21:36,427 --> 00:21:38,359 Of course, they're gonna trot out this fuckin idiot 568 00:21:38,361 --> 00:21:39,930 - to defend it. Sorry. - Shh. 569 00:21:46,102 --> 00:21:47,072 [doorbell rings] 570 00:21:49,273 --> 00:21:52,206 - Hello, hello! - Daddy keeps making poop. 571 00:21:52,208 --> 00:21:54,810 - What? - I think he has the flu. 572 00:21:54,812 --> 00:21:56,779 - No, no! - Hi. 573 00:21:56,781 --> 00:21:58,880 - Dude, don't touch me. - [Chris] And just... 574 00:21:58,882 --> 00:22:01,949 I was not a popular person on the plane. [clears throat] 575 00:22:01,951 --> 00:22:04,485 - It was a rough eight hours. - I'm so sorry. 576 00:22:04,487 --> 00:22:06,487 - [chuckles] - Um, I could use a drink, 577 00:22:06,489 --> 00:22:07,726 - I'll be honest. - Yep. 578 00:22:08,159 --> 00:22:09,524 - I love the additions! - Thank you. 579 00:22:09,526 --> 00:22:11,996 And I love the new sconces! 580 00:22:12,329 --> 00:22:14,228 - Thank you! - I made these by hand. 581 00:22:14,230 --> 00:22:17,166 - I... I smithed them. - I... You did not. 582 00:22:17,168 --> 00:22:18,833 - I did. - I know you did not. 583 00:22:18,835 --> 00:22:21,169 - You cannot build anything. - I... I can't build anything. 584 00:22:21,171 --> 00:22:23,073 I am not a real man. 585 00:22:23,274 --> 00:22:25,541 No, but you can cook, baby, so, you are a real man. 586 00:22:25,543 --> 00:22:28,079 - I can cook, this is true. - He can cook. 587 00:22:28,512 --> 00:22:30,849 Speaking of masculine and cool, where is Pat? 588 00:22:31,381 --> 00:22:33,247 I don't know. I think he's in the shower 589 00:22:33,249 --> 00:22:34,448 with his girlfriend or something? 590 00:22:34,450 --> 00:22:35,917 I don't know. I don't know, guys. 591 00:22:35,919 --> 00:22:37,886 How many fights have the two of you got into? 592 00:22:37,888 --> 00:22:40,992 - Like half of one? Hmm. - Uh, I counted three. 593 00:22:41,324 --> 00:22:43,260 If you're including arguments, three. 594 00:22:43,494 --> 00:22:45,526 - Listen... - Ow! Shit. [laughs] 595 00:22:45,528 --> 00:22:47,094 [Chris] I know, I know. 596 00:22:47,096 --> 00:22:49,598 - What up, sis? - Oh, my God! [laughs] 597 00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:51,599 Please put pants on! Please put pants on. 598 00:22:51,601 --> 00:22:53,301 Sorry, I wanted to see my sister first! 599 00:22:53,303 --> 00:22:55,305 - Hi Abbie, how are you? - Good. 600 00:22:55,505 --> 00:22:57,007 - Good. - Thanks. 601 00:22:57,440 --> 00:22:59,875 [Alice exhales] I'm so excited to see everybody! 602 00:22:59,877 --> 00:23:01,843 [Pat] Is that the hottest the shower gets, by the way? 603 00:23:01,845 --> 00:23:03,544 - [crickets chirp] - [Chris] Thank you. 604 00:23:03,546 --> 00:23:06,918 - All right, pizza! Pizza! Pizza! - [door closes] 605 00:23:08,384 --> 00:23:11,119 Muah! Okay, Zootopia in 30 seconds! 606 00:23:11,121 --> 00:23:13,021 [Chris] Whoa, whoa. Heyo. 607 00:23:13,023 --> 00:23:14,555 - These are heavy, man. - Nice. 608 00:23:14,557 --> 00:23:17,959 I got a one, I got a due, a three. 609 00:23:17,961 --> 00:23:20,028 Do you have one that's just pineapple? That's for Abbie. 610 00:23:20,030 --> 00:23:21,597 I got half of one that's just pineapple 611 00:23:21,599 --> 00:23:23,134 and she can have the whole thing. 612 00:23:23,499 --> 00:23:24,468 Hey, does Clark want some? 613 00:23:25,602 --> 00:23:27,336 No, I gave him a saltine earlier and his anus exploded. 614 00:23:27,338 --> 00:23:28,370 - Jesus! - It was like fireworks. 615 00:23:28,372 --> 00:23:29,538 - [cellphone rings] - You guys would've love it, 616 00:23:29,540 --> 00:23:30,872 it was super patriotic. 617 00:23:30,874 --> 00:23:32,576 That's disgusting. 618 00:23:33,110 --> 00:23:35,013 [Pat] Hey, have you tried our water? 619 00:23:35,278 --> 00:23:37,012 - For what? - [Pat] Just, like, for him 620 00:23:37,014 --> 00:23:38,146 to drink to flush everything out. 621 00:23:38,148 --> 00:23:39,513 Yeah. It was the first thing we tried. 622 00:23:39,515 --> 00:23:41,250 - Turn on the news. - It's a good idea, babe. 623 00:23:41,252 --> 00:23:42,253 - What? - Turn on the news. Right now. 624 00:23:43,187 --> 00:23:44,054 - Right there, turn it on. - [Alice] What? 625 00:23:45,288 --> 00:23:46,557 [Jason on TV] The optics are stunning. 626 00:23:46,957 --> 00:23:49,190 Gus Alverson, eight-term congressman 627 00:23:49,192 --> 00:23:51,292 and head of the Congressional Black Caucus... 628 00:23:51,294 --> 00:23:53,128 - being taken away... - [Chris] Holy shit. 629 00:23:53,130 --> 00:23:54,463 ...in handcuffs. Truly shocking. 630 00:23:54,465 --> 00:23:55,600 [Chris] Unbelievable. 631 00:23:56,065 --> 00:23:57,499 - What'd he do? - Nothing, Mom! 632 00:23:57,501 --> 00:23:59,568 - He didn't do anything. - He didn't do nothing. 633 00:23:59,570 --> 00:24:01,369 He lit a copy of the Oath on fire 634 00:24:01,371 --> 00:24:02,670 in front of some constituents. 635 00:24:02,672 --> 00:24:04,473 That's not nothing, last time I checked. 636 00:24:04,475 --> 00:24:07,141 That is so not illegal. 637 00:24:07,143 --> 00:24:08,542 You can do whatever you want, you can take the American flag 638 00:24:08,544 --> 00:24:09,610 and could shove it up your asshole. 639 00:24:09,612 --> 00:24:11,416 - Oh, God! - Christopher, please. 640 00:24:11,649 --> 00:24:12,648 It's not illegal, Mom. Why... 641 00:24:12,650 --> 00:24:14,619 And who are you getting this information from? 642 00:24:15,185 --> 00:24:16,952 - @fatasspatriot. - Okay, yeah. 643 00:24:16,954 --> 00:24:19,253 Well, he's a good source @fatasspatriot. 644 00:24:19,255 --> 00:24:21,956 In the rich tradition of Rather and Murrow, 645 00:24:21,958 --> 00:24:23,157 and @fatasspatriot? 646 00:24:23,159 --> 00:24:25,359 - Hey, hey! Chill out, man! - That's fucking ridiculous! 647 00:24:25,361 --> 00:24:27,098 First of all, he's verified. 648 00:24:27,464 --> 00:24:29,430 He's a verified fucking idiot! 649 00:24:29,432 --> 00:24:31,599 Second of all, Alverson's a show boater. 650 00:24:31,601 --> 00:24:34,503 Okay, we all know that. He just wants... he wants the attention... 651 00:24:34,505 --> 00:24:36,908 - He wants... - Fuck that shit, dog! 652 00:24:37,140 --> 00:24:39,006 - [Eleanor] Christopher, enough. - No, no, fuck that. 653 00:24:39,008 --> 00:24:41,109 The guy is a civil rights icon. 654 00:24:41,111 --> 00:24:43,147 They're arresting opposition leaders, Pat. 655 00:24:43,346 --> 00:24:45,414 It's not the way it's supposed to work in this country! 656 00:24:45,416 --> 00:24:47,148 Then they shouldn't be violently protesting! 657 00:24:47,150 --> 00:24:49,451 Okay? And for the record, maybe more politicians 658 00:24:49,453 --> 00:24:51,089 should be in handcuffs. They're all crooks. 659 00:24:52,989 --> 00:24:54,188 What a hot take. 660 00:24:54,190 --> 00:24:56,124 "Urgh, you should lock 'em all up!” 661 00:24:56,126 --> 00:24:58,193 - Hey, no... - Are you guys in here fighting 662 00:24:58,195 --> 00:25:00,198 - right now? TV, off. - Can I get a plate, please? 663 00:25:00,397 --> 00:25:02,464 Turn on some music. 664 00:25:02,466 --> 00:25:04,099 Alice, I got pineapple, I heard 665 00:25:04,101 --> 00:25:05,967 - that's what you like, Abbie. - Yes, thank you, Kai. 666 00:25:05,969 --> 00:25:07,671 - I'm good, I'm good, I'm done. - Knock it off. Stop it. 667 00:25:09,739 --> 00:25:11,005 [Alice] But, did you get one 668 00:25:11,007 --> 00:25:12,040 - without gluten? - [Kai] Come again? 669 00:25:12,042 --> 00:25:13,574 - I was looking... - Say what? 670 00:25:13,576 --> 00:25:14,945 Did you get one without gluten? 671 00:25:15,512 --> 00:25:16,978 Beautiful. 672 00:25:16,980 --> 00:25:19,080 [Alice laughs] Thank you. Beautiful. 673 00:25:19,082 --> 00:25:21,049 [Kai] All right, I'm gonna take this to the kids. 674 00:25:21,051 --> 00:25:22,751 [Alice] You guys, it tastes just like the real thing! 675 00:25:22,753 --> 00:25:24,121 Does anyone want wine? 676 00:25:24,420 --> 00:25:25,523 I'll get some. 677 00:25:27,256 --> 00:25:28,357 I think you have a fever. 678 00:25:28,359 --> 00:25:30,061 - [knock on door] - Come in. 679 00:25:31,394 --> 00:25:32,529 How you feeling, Clark? 680 00:25:33,330 --> 00:25:34,332 Empty. 681 00:25:35,365 --> 00:25:36,533 Sorry about the smell. 682 00:25:37,133 --> 00:25:38,433 It's okay, we're gonna move. 683 00:25:38,435 --> 00:25:39,634 I'd love to sleep somewhere else tonight, 684 00:25:39,636 --> 00:25:41,269 - do you have another room? - No, this is it. 685 00:25:41,271 --> 00:25:42,206 This is all I got. 686 00:25:43,372 --> 00:25:44,574 Alice, can I go talk to you outside about that thing? 687 00:25:45,342 --> 00:25:47,109 - [Alice] Yes. - [Clark] No. 688 00:25:47,111 --> 00:25:48,045 - Yes. - Yes. 689 00:25:49,246 --> 00:25:50,178 - You guys... It's not fair. - Do you want some of that? 690 00:25:50,180 --> 00:25:52,280 Okay, let me know if you need anything. 691 00:25:52,282 --> 00:25:55,050 - [kisses] I love you. - Go, go, go. It's happening. 692 00:25:55,052 --> 00:25:56,688 - It's happening. It's happening. - Let's go. 693 00:25:57,153 --> 00:25:59,356 - [lighter flicks] - [dog barking] 694 00:26:01,792 --> 00:26:04,091 Wow. [giggles] 695 00:26:04,093 --> 00:26:05,526 - Fucking cool guy. - Yeah, you are. 696 00:26:05,528 --> 00:26:08,065 But let a pro... let a pro do it. 697 00:26:08,631 --> 00:26:10,267 - Show me how it's done, sis. - Okay. 698 00:26:15,205 --> 00:26:16,073 Don't laugh! 699 00:26:16,940 --> 00:26:17,738 Are you okay, after that monster hit? 700 00:26:17,740 --> 00:26:18,976 Don't laugh! 701 00:26:20,210 --> 00:26:21,378 Seriously, when is the last time you got high? I'm curious. 702 00:26:22,380 --> 00:26:25,382 Oh. Okay. Clark and I went to see Pearl Jam. 703 00:26:26,150 --> 00:26:27,349 - And... - Already cool. 704 00:26:27,351 --> 00:26:28,486 - Thank you. - Mm-hmm. 705 00:26:28,685 --> 00:26:32,087 And he thought we should get a pot brownie... 706 00:26:32,089 --> 00:26:33,157 Mm-hmm. 707 00:26:34,257 --> 00:26:37,594 ...and we did, and I fell asleep in the second song. 708 00:26:38,128 --> 00:26:39,794 - [both chuckle] - Yeah! 709 00:26:39,796 --> 00:26:41,298 [Alice] But you know what was great? 710 00:26:41,564 --> 00:26:43,264 - [Alice] Their first song. - I bet it was great. 711 00:26:43,266 --> 00:26:44,601 [Alice] Ah, such a good first song. 712 00:26:45,601 --> 00:26:46,704 [sighs] 713 00:26:48,272 --> 00:26:49,439 It's good to see Mom. 714 00:26:50,506 --> 00:26:53,510 I mean, I need someone in my life whose job it is 715 00:26:53,776 --> 00:26:56,844 - to tell me who's died recently. - [snickers] Yep. Yep. Yeah. 716 00:26:56,846 --> 00:26:59,580 - I need that person. I know. - She's the obituary. 717 00:26:59,582 --> 00:27:02,250 Oh boy. Oh, actually, she has two jobs. 718 00:27:02,252 --> 00:27:03,454 Her other job is to say, 719 00:27:04,720 --> 00:27:05,387 [imitates Eleanor] “You and your brother gotta stop fighting 720 00:27:05,389 --> 00:27:07,625 and I'm goddamn serious!" 721 00:27:08,092 --> 00:27:09,259 - Okay. - "Stop it!” 722 00:27:09,525 --> 00:27:13,031 - Well, with that, she's right. - I know, 723 00:27:13,464 --> 00:27:15,500 - I know! - Enough of that, seriously. 724 00:27:15,798 --> 00:27:18,867 I know that you don't agree with him, and we are right. 725 00:27:18,869 --> 00:27:20,769 - Yes! We are right! - We are right. 726 00:27:20,771 --> 00:27:22,603 - And he is wrong. - He's wrong. 727 00:27:22,605 --> 00:27:24,705 - But you just don't go there. - Okay, okay. 728 00:27:24,707 --> 00:27:27,178 - Okay? - I won't go there. 729 00:27:27,643 --> 00:27:31,481 Can I say one thing about... her and I'll let it go after that? 730 00:27:31,681 --> 00:27:33,615 - Okay. - Like, for real, she sucks. 731 00:27:33,617 --> 00:27:35,353 She's... she's like a bad person. 732 00:27:35,752 --> 00:27:38,386 And it's just like, his world view is already fucked up 733 00:27:38,388 --> 00:27:40,488 and she's making it worse. It's gasoline on a fire, 734 00:27:40,490 --> 00:27:42,359 I don't like what I'm seeing, and I think it sucks. 735 00:27:44,128 --> 00:27:46,697 I bet those two signed the Oath like that. 736 00:27:47,764 --> 00:27:49,266 Fucking bullshit. 737 00:27:56,573 --> 00:27:57,574 Alice... 738 00:27:58,441 --> 00:28:01,576 - No! No! - Don't be mad. 739 00:28:01,578 --> 00:28:03,244 - You signed it? - I signed it. 740 00:28:03,246 --> 00:28:05,382 - [scoffs] What? - I didn't want to! 741 00:28:05,748 --> 00:28:07,381 Clark was freaked out, 742 00:28:07,383 --> 00:28:10,784 his company was just putting a lot of pressure. 743 00:28:10,786 --> 00:28:14,191 So, we came to the conclusion that the thing to do... 744 00:28:14,757 --> 00:28:17,260 was to sign it, uh, and then just 745 00:28:17,628 --> 00:28:21,165 keep fighting the good fight, but on the D.L. 746 00:28:26,602 --> 00:28:28,406 - Sorry. - Mm-mm. 747 00:28:31,842 --> 00:28:32,810 Are you mad? 748 00:28:33,976 --> 00:28:35,109 Because I'm gonna be mad at you if you're mad at me. 749 00:28:35,111 --> 00:28:37,811 No, no, no. I'm not! I'm not mad, I'm not mad. 750 00:28:37,813 --> 00:28:39,182 I'm just a little... 751 00:28:40,316 --> 00:28:41,582 I don't know, a little surprised. 752 00:28:41,584 --> 00:28:44,154 But listen, hey, hey, hello, 753 00:28:44,353 --> 00:28:47,455 you and Clark have your life and your family, 754 00:28:47,457 --> 00:28:48,956 and gotta do what is right for you. 755 00:28:48,958 --> 00:28:51,161 And I'm not gonna sit here and be like, 756 00:28:51,361 --> 00:28:52,697 “You're wrong!” So... 757 00:28:59,468 --> 00:29:01,503 - Alice signed. - She did? 758 00:29:01,505 --> 00:29:02,439 Yeah. 759 00:29:03,407 --> 00:29:04,542 You okay with that? 760 00:29:05,942 --> 00:29:07,144 I don't know. 761 00:29:07,678 --> 00:29:08,612 No. 762 00:29:09,813 --> 00:29:12,214 I'm just sad for her, I guess. I don't know. [scoffs] 763 00:29:12,216 --> 00:29:14,519 Well she's gotta do what she thinks is right for her family. 764 00:29:14,951 --> 00:29:16,818 Yeah, I know, she made a huge mistake 765 00:29:16,820 --> 00:29:18,556 and now she has to live with it, so... 766 00:29:21,324 --> 00:29:22,459 You want to watch the news? 767 00:29:23,226 --> 00:29:24,227 Nah. 768 00:29:29,632 --> 00:29:30,634 [sighs] 769 00:29:38,675 --> 00:29:39,911 And that... 770 00:29:40,877 --> 00:29:44,378 We're in a very good place. Na, na, na, na. 771 00:29:44,380 --> 00:29:45,315 Okay. 772 00:29:45,681 --> 00:29:47,482 Here we go. And I would say 773 00:29:47,484 --> 00:29:49,650 we got about 90 minutes left on that turkey, Ma. 774 00:29:49,652 --> 00:29:51,319 - How are we doing over here? - Good. 775 00:29:51,321 --> 00:29:53,658 The nuts are done, the appetizers are fine. 776 00:29:54,557 --> 00:29:56,259 How do you want me to cut these carrots? 777 00:29:56,560 --> 00:29:57,762 Fine dice please. 778 00:29:58,629 --> 00:30:00,895 All right, hello! Whoa! 779 00:30:00,897 --> 00:30:02,997 - How are we doing over here? - We're almost done! 780 00:30:02,999 --> 00:30:04,765 Okay, so listen, five minute warning 781 00:30:04,767 --> 00:30:07,301 and then you are in charge of setting the kids' table. 782 00:30:07,303 --> 00:30:08,839 - I'm in charge! - Always! 783 00:30:09,573 --> 00:30:10,871 The burning I can handle, 784 00:30:10,873 --> 00:30:12,506 it's just the flaking that drives me crazy. 785 00:30:12,508 --> 00:30:13,742 Do you have a cream for that? 786 00:30:13,744 --> 00:30:15,342 [Chris] I got some nuts for you guys. 787 00:30:15,344 --> 00:30:17,712 - Some herbs and stuff. - It's crusty... 788 00:30:17,714 --> 00:30:19,313 Just keep having that gross conversation. 789 00:30:19,315 --> 00:30:20,650 Wash your hands before you eat those! 790 00:30:21,551 --> 00:30:23,221 Hey, slow down, Asher! 791 00:30:23,786 --> 00:30:26,588 Okay, what have we got right here? 792 00:30:26,590 --> 00:30:28,523 Hotsie-totsie. Oh, yeah. 793 00:30:28,525 --> 00:30:30,492 [Eleanor] Is this dice fine enough? 794 00:30:30,494 --> 00:30:32,293 Let me see what you have. May I? Can I jump in here 795 00:30:32,295 --> 00:30:33,561 and just show you what I was thinking? 796 00:30:33,563 --> 00:30:35,897 - Just give me a ba-ba-ba-ba... - Oh, yeah. 797 00:30:35,899 --> 00:30:37,799 You should do a cooking show, sweetie. 798 00:30:37,801 --> 00:30:39,701 I would love to! 799 00:30:39,703 --> 00:30:42,006 I would actually love to do that. [chuckles] 800 00:30:43,040 --> 00:30:44,909 [humming] 801 00:30:45,976 --> 00:30:47,841 [sighs] Where are you going? 802 00:30:47,843 --> 00:30:50,044 I gotta go to the store and get Clark some NyQuil. 803 00:30:50,046 --> 00:30:52,480 - He has to sleep. - Oh, my God. 804 00:30:52,482 --> 00:30:53,915 - And I have to sleep. - Get some for yourself, too. 805 00:30:53,917 --> 00:30:55,019 [Alice] I'll be back. 806 00:30:55,619 --> 00:30:56,687 Oh, shit. 807 00:30:57,086 --> 00:30:58,953 Love you, Clark. Hang in there, dog! 808 00:30:58,955 --> 00:31:00,024 [Clark] Yeah, man. 809 00:31:05,696 --> 00:31:06,831 [water running] 810 00:31:10,367 --> 00:31:11,933 [news announcer] Large gatherings of protesters 811 00:31:11,935 --> 00:31:13,635 are now being reported in New Orleans, 812 00:31:13,637 --> 00:31:15,669 - Chicago, Oakland, and Miami. - Fuck me. 813 00:31:15,671 --> 00:31:17,504 [news reporter] And despite multiple sources reporting it, 814 00:31:17,506 --> 00:31:19,974 we still are unable to confirm if there is a forthcoming 815 00:31:19,976 --> 00:31:21,642 national curfew to be mandated... 816 00:31:21,644 --> 00:31:22,946 - Hi. - Hi. 817 00:31:23,580 --> 00:31:24,913 Turkey's in, everyone's good, 818 00:31:24,915 --> 00:31:26,481 I was gonna watch the news for ten minutes 819 00:31:26,483 --> 00:31:27,752 and then I'm done for the day. 820 00:31:27,950 --> 00:31:30,020 - And then we'll turn the TV off? - Off. 821 00:31:30,454 --> 00:31:31,355 Off. 822 00:31:31,554 --> 00:31:32,456 - Love you. - Love you. 823 00:31:42,466 --> 00:31:45,369 [Kai laughs and snorts] 824 00:31:45,768 --> 00:31:49,005 All right, everyone. Mange, as they say! 825 00:31:51,140 --> 00:31:52,543 Oh, that's heavy. 826 00:31:53,677 --> 00:31:54,779 Thank you. 827 00:31:55,879 --> 00:32:00,717 [indistinct chatter] 828 00:32:04,086 --> 00:32:06,754 These potatoes. Sorry, I'm eating most of them! 829 00:32:06,756 --> 00:32:08,490 - [Chris] Good! - What'd you put in these? 830 00:32:08,492 --> 00:32:09,794 I put a little, um... 831 00:32:10,393 --> 00:32:13,096 pecorino in them, kind of, brings out the umami. 832 00:32:14,531 --> 00:32:16,500 What does that mean? What does "umami" mean? 833 00:32:17,133 --> 00:32:19,567 It's a fifth flavor. 834 00:32:19,569 --> 00:32:22,606 It's kinda like savory, salty. 835 00:32:23,806 --> 00:32:24,941 That's good to know. 836 00:32:25,742 --> 00:32:27,378 Pass the syrah, please? 837 00:32:27,777 --> 00:32:29,346 [Alice] This is lovely. 838 00:32:30,647 --> 00:32:32,613 Did I tell you that we saw Bill Engvall 839 00:32:32,615 --> 00:32:34,416 at the Phoenix Civic Center? 840 00:32:34,418 --> 00:32:36,050 - No! - No, how was he, Mom? 841 00:32:36,052 --> 00:32:38,421 He was so funny and charming. 842 00:32:38,721 --> 00:32:40,921 And his stories were really funny. 843 00:32:40,923 --> 00:32:42,992 And clean. Didn't curse once. 844 00:32:43,192 --> 00:32:44,892 - [Eleanor] Didn't have to. - [Hank] You don't have to. 845 00:32:44,894 --> 00:32:47,061 Alice, did you watch Chris Rock on Late Night? 846 00:32:47,063 --> 00:32:48,730 Yes, so good. So good. 847 00:32:48,732 --> 00:32:50,701 We watched it literally three times back to back. 848 00:32:51,001 --> 00:32:52,599 Funniest guy in the world. 849 00:32:52,601 --> 00:32:54,871 [Kai] It was so funny. Oh, my God. 850 00:32:55,705 --> 00:32:57,071 - What was that? - [Abbie] Hmm? 851 00:32:57,073 --> 00:32:58,606 - What was that? - [Abbie] What? 852 00:32:58,608 --> 00:33:00,044 - Nothing, nothing. - Yeah. 853 00:33:00,509 --> 00:33:02,379 No, you just gave her like a little look, like... 854 00:33:02,813 --> 00:33:05,179 Nothing, we're just not the biggest Chris Rock fans. 855 00:33:05,181 --> 00:33:06,383 Yeah. 856 00:33:06,850 --> 00:33:08,986 - He's racist. - [Pat] Mm-hmm. 857 00:33:09,852 --> 00:33:11,753 - You think Chris Rock is racist? - Yeah. 858 00:33:11,755 --> 00:33:12,756 A little bit. 859 00:33:17,194 --> 00:33:19,063 I'm sorry, that's the stupidest fucking thing 860 00:33:19,496 --> 00:33:21,862 - I've ever heard in my life. - Please, Christopher. 861 00:33:21,864 --> 00:33:24,101 I'm sorry, it's just wrong, what she said. It's wrong. 862 00:33:24,633 --> 00:33:26,102 I'm sorry, how can it be wrong? 863 00:33:27,070 --> 00:33:28,172 It's her opinion. 864 00:33:29,372 --> 00:33:30,571 Yeah, and her opinion is wrong. Chris Rock's not racist. 865 00:33:30,573 --> 00:33:33,140 He's best friends with Adam Sandler. That is a fact. 866 00:33:33,142 --> 00:33:34,809 He's also friends with Jerry Seinfeld. 867 00:33:34,811 --> 00:33:37,515 Also white. David Spade? Ever fucking heard of him? 868 00:33:37,714 --> 00:33:40,013 - Best friend. Now that's a fact. - You ask us what we... 869 00:33:40,015 --> 00:33:42,050 - They play basketball together. - Okay, whatever, man. 870 00:33:42,052 --> 00:33:44,084 I don't know about their fucking basketball schedule. 871 00:33:44,086 --> 00:33:46,253 You just asked us what we were talking about and we told you. 872 00:33:46,255 --> 00:33:48,956 You know, it's actually... It's racist to think... 873 00:33:48,958 --> 00:33:50,058 - Oh my God, babe. - ...Chris Rock's racist. 874 00:33:50,060 --> 00:33:51,559 All right, it's okay. No, I got it. 875 00:33:51,561 --> 00:33:53,561 So, if we don't agree with you, we're racist. 876 00:33:53,563 --> 00:33:54,829 - Yeah. Yes. - [Pat] Thank you. 877 00:33:54,831 --> 00:33:56,164 You nailed it. You nailed it exactly. 878 00:33:56,166 --> 00:33:57,635 - [Pat] Great. - [Chris laughing] 879 00:33:58,101 --> 00:33:59,069 Stop. 880 00:34:00,269 --> 00:34:03,237 - Can we just enjoy our dinner? - I just want to reiterate, 881 00:34:03,239 --> 00:34:06,507 these potatoes are so good! I'm just gonna say it again! 882 00:34:06,509 --> 00:34:08,778 - These potatoes are good. - [Hank] Everything is. 883 00:34:10,579 --> 00:34:12,081 [sighs] Sorry. Sorry. 884 00:34:12,849 --> 00:34:15,115 Oh, did I tell you about Simon Avona? 885 00:34:15,117 --> 00:34:17,987 - No, what happened to Simon? - His father. Car crash. Dead. 886 00:34:19,055 --> 00:34:19,957 [Kai] Mm. 887 00:34:20,624 --> 00:34:21,759 That's terrible, Mom. 888 00:34:22,258 --> 00:34:23,726 Sorry to hear that. 889 00:34:24,260 --> 00:34:25,595 Well, Eleanor... 890 00:34:25,961 --> 00:34:27,530 these biscuits... 891 00:34:27,898 --> 00:34:29,696 amazing! Every year they get better and better! 892 00:34:29,698 --> 00:34:31,566 - [cellphone rings] - You did such a great job. 893 00:34:31,568 --> 00:34:33,133 [Eleanor] Same recipe as last year! 894 00:34:33,135 --> 00:34:34,903 In fact, everything I made this year, 895 00:34:34,905 --> 00:34:37,771 I made last year, except for the pumpkin cheesecake. 896 00:34:37,773 --> 00:34:40,707 That is new. I saw it on the Barefoot Contessa. 897 00:34:40,709 --> 00:34:41,845 [Alice] Oh, we love that show. 898 00:34:42,979 --> 00:34:44,180 Sometimes, I call Clark “Jeffrey.” [chuckles] 899 00:34:45,182 --> 00:34:47,051 - Wait, who's Jeffrey? - It's her husband. 900 00:34:47,584 --> 00:34:48,619 Jesus Christ. 901 00:34:49,084 --> 00:34:50,119 [Alice] What is it? 902 00:34:50,753 --> 00:34:52,655 - What's wrong? - [Eleanor] What is it? 903 00:34:56,593 --> 00:34:58,963 They just opened fire on a crowd protesting the Oath. 904 00:35:00,130 --> 00:35:01,599 - [sighs] Oh dear. - Jesus Christ. 905 00:35:03,198 --> 00:35:05,034 Doz... dozens dead. 906 00:35:12,309 --> 00:35:14,041 I'm gonna go turn on the news for a second... 907 00:35:14,043 --> 00:35:15,111 Absolutely not! 908 00:35:16,213 --> 00:35:17,044 I said that in my email. We're not watching that... 909 00:35:17,046 --> 00:35:18,646 And it's my house, Mom, thank you. 910 00:35:18,648 --> 00:35:20,117 Can we just finish dinner first? 911 00:35:21,617 --> 00:35:22,886 You don't think this is important? 912 00:35:23,119 --> 00:35:26,120 I know this is important but let's finish eating. 913 00:35:26,122 --> 00:35:27,191 [Pat] Yeah. 914 00:35:28,224 --> 00:35:29,224 Plus, we don't even know what really happened. 915 00:35:29,226 --> 00:35:32,195 No, we do know what happened! I just read it. 916 00:35:32,963 --> 00:35:35,966 They murdered dozens of people. I just read it. 917 00:35:36,265 --> 00:35:37,798 Well, I'm reading that they attacked 918 00:35:37,800 --> 00:35:40,068 - a group of counter protestors. - Oh, Jesus Christ, 919 00:35:40,070 --> 00:35:41,702 I can only imagine what source 920 00:35:41,704 --> 00:35:43,137 you're getting that bullshit from. 921 00:35:43,139 --> 00:35:46,106 I'm not gonna fucking debate with you here, okay? 922 00:35:46,108 --> 00:35:50,278 - Come on, language... - I'm not Bill Engvall, okay? 923 00:35:50,280 --> 00:35:52,213 Do I look like Bill Engvall, dad? 924 00:35:52,215 --> 00:35:54,148 Let's just chill out. Let's eat the meal... 925 00:35:54,150 --> 00:35:55,783 I don't want to eat! I don't wanna eat! 926 00:35:55,785 --> 00:35:57,151 I'm sorry! There's fucking innocent people 927 00:35:57,153 --> 00:35:58,385 being gunned down in the streets. 928 00:35:58,387 --> 00:36:00,120 - It's affecting my appetite. - [Kai] Chris... 929 00:36:00,122 --> 00:36:01,388 - They're not innocent! - Yes. 930 00:36:01,390 --> 00:36:02,356 They're breaking the law! 931 00:36:02,358 --> 00:36:04,626 That is what happens when you break the law! 932 00:36:04,628 --> 00:36:07,264 "The law”? What, do we live in fucking Tombstone! 933 00:36:07,731 --> 00:36:10,164 These are innocent people exercising 934 00:36:10,166 --> 00:36:12,399 the first amendment, and they have been 935 00:36:12,401 --> 00:36:14,334 gunned down in the fucking streets... 936 00:36:14,336 --> 00:36:16,269 - [Hank] Chris! - ...by Brownshirts! 937 00:36:16,271 --> 00:36:18,342 [indistinct clamor] 938 00:36:18,874 --> 00:36:20,878 - That's a little heavy. - [Chris] You support Nazi's. 939 00:36:21,177 --> 00:36:22,676 You fucking support Nazi's. 940 00:36:22,678 --> 00:36:24,211 That's my favorite thing about liberals. 941 00:36:24,213 --> 00:36:25,879 My favorite thing, as soon as they get triggered, 942 00:36:25,881 --> 00:36:28,883 - they call everyone a Nazi. - Oh, shut the fuck up, Katie! 943 00:36:28,885 --> 00:36:30,417 [Pat] Abbie. Dude! Her name is Abbie! 944 00:36:30,419 --> 00:36:32,220 - I don't care what your name is. - You're a dick! 945 00:36:32,222 --> 00:36:33,820 - Her name is Abbie! - [Chris] You suck, 946 00:36:33,822 --> 00:36:35,025 and everything you fucking say sucks. 947 00:36:36,258 --> 00:36:38,291 And guess what? You're perfect for this fucking asshole! 948 00:36:38,293 --> 00:36:40,662 - [Kai] Chris, stop it. - Oh, I'm an asshole? Fuck you! 949 00:36:40,664 --> 00:36:42,763 You treat people who don't agree with everything you say 950 00:36:42,765 --> 00:36:45,867 like they're fucking morons. And we're not! And guess what? 951 00:36:45,869 --> 00:36:47,734 Everything isn't horrible all the time! 952 00:36:47,736 --> 00:36:49,437 First of all, it is horrible all the time, 953 00:36:49,439 --> 00:36:52,242 and second of all, I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news 954 00:36:52,776 --> 00:36:55,977 but you're a fucking moron, and so are fucking you. 955 00:36:55,979 --> 00:36:57,147 - [Hank] Language. - [Kai] Chris! 956 00:36:58,381 --> 00:36:59,814 I bet you two motherfuckers signed that Oath in two seconds. 957 00:36:59,816 --> 00:37:01,115 - Yeah, I did! I did! - We did! 958 00:37:01,117 --> 00:37:02,816 - I knew it would come out! - You just asked him! 959 00:37:02,818 --> 00:37:04,919 Yeah, I know! I know! Fuck you, Pat. 960 00:37:04,921 --> 00:37:06,053 - [Pat] Fuck you! - Fuck you! 961 00:37:06,055 --> 00:37:07,354 - Fuck you! Fuck you! - Fuck you! 962 00:37:07,356 --> 00:37:08,789 Seriously, seriously, hold on... 963 00:37:08,791 --> 00:37:09,927 - Chris, stop it! - No politics! 964 00:37:11,193 --> 00:37:12,059 Mom, Mom, this isn't political. I just wanna say real quick, 965 00:37:12,061 --> 00:37:13,827 - real quick, seriously, Pat... - Mm-hmm. 966 00:37:13,829 --> 00:37:16,196 ...fuck you. And Abbie, or Katie, 967 00:37:16,198 --> 00:37:17,698 or whatever the fuck your name is, 968 00:37:17,700 --> 00:37:19,332 and fuck anyone who signed that Oath, 969 00:37:19,334 --> 00:37:21,936 because they are stupid fucking pigs 970 00:37:21,938 --> 00:37:23,307 and they should be hung like pigs! 971 00:37:25,709 --> 00:37:27,044 What the fuck? 972 00:37:27,443 --> 00:37:30,113 - What the fuck? - Not you, Alice! 973 00:37:30,713 --> 00:37:34,284 - And not Mom and Dad. - Oh, thanks! 974 00:37:35,385 --> 00:37:37,218 But also, also, like a little bit, 975 00:37:37,220 --> 00:37:39,320 - a little bit fuck you, Alice! - What? 976 00:37:39,322 --> 00:37:41,388 Cause why'd you sign it? Why'd you sign that shit? 977 00:37:41,390 --> 00:37:44,325 We have a kid too, okay? And we care about her, 978 00:37:44,327 --> 00:37:46,760 and we don't want her to grow up in a country where you have to 979 00:37:46,762 --> 00:37:49,363 comply with every fucking stupid thing the government does! 980 00:37:49,365 --> 00:37:51,798 - We have pride! - We do, too, asshole. 981 00:37:51,800 --> 00:37:53,901 - [Chris scoffs emphatically] - Get off your horse, bro. 982 00:37:53,903 --> 00:37:55,436 No, I like my horse! 983 00:37:55,438 --> 00:37:59,273 Kai and I have strong, American, patriotic horses. 984 00:37:59,275 --> 00:38:02,079 You got a little show pony, it fucking sucks balls. 985 00:38:02,278 --> 00:38:05,213 Okay, we're clean. Y'all are fucking dirty. 986 00:38:05,215 --> 00:38:06,747 - Chris, stop it! - You're dirty! 987 00:38:06,749 --> 00:38:08,015 - You're dirty. - Just stop it! 988 00:38:08,017 --> 00:38:09,753 Just shut the fuck up! 989 00:38:10,787 --> 00:38:11,855 I signed it. 990 00:38:12,488 --> 00:38:15,224 Yeah, I signed it. I fucking signed it. 991 00:38:15,758 --> 00:38:16,894 So, how about that? 992 00:38:17,126 --> 00:38:19,095 [Pat and Abbie gasp] 993 00:38:26,102 --> 00:38:27,869 What the fuck are you talking about? 994 00:38:27,871 --> 00:38:28,937 What do you mean you signed it? 995 00:38:28,939 --> 00:38:31,338 What? Why'd you lie to me? [chuckles nervously] 996 00:38:31,340 --> 00:38:33,140 Can we have this conversation in the other room? 997 00:38:33,142 --> 00:38:35,778 No. No, I want to talk about it right here, right now. 998 00:38:36,044 --> 00:38:37,780 Chris, trust me. Just talk in the other room. 999 00:38:38,046 --> 00:38:39,015 Alice, thank you so much, 1000 00:38:39,983 --> 00:38:40,948 I don't need your help running my house. 1001 00:38:40,950 --> 00:38:42,950 I don't need your help. Thank you, though. 1002 00:38:42,952 --> 00:38:43,950 Thank you! I want to know, right now, 1003 00:38:43,952 --> 00:38:46,220 why my wife lied to me in front of everyone. 1004 00:38:46,222 --> 00:38:47,191 Tell everyone. 1005 00:38:47,923 --> 00:38:49,323 Why'd you lie to me? Why? 1006 00:38:49,325 --> 00:38:50,294 - Why I lied to you? - Why? 1007 00:38:51,260 --> 00:38:52,095 - Why I lied to you? - Why did you lie to me? 1008 00:38:52,796 --> 00:38:54,798 Fuck you! Why did I lie to you? 1009 00:38:55,365 --> 00:38:56,265 Really? 1010 00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,769 You wanna frame the question, just like that, for me? 1011 00:39:00,269 --> 00:39:01,936 Why I lied to you? 1012 00:39:01,938 --> 00:39:03,236 I'm gonna go check on the children. 1013 00:39:03,238 --> 00:39:04,974 [Kai] Why I lied to you? 1014 00:39:07,276 --> 00:39:09,079 We both said we weren't gonna do it. 1015 00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:11,247 Why did you sign? 1016 00:39:12,548 --> 00:39:15,850 Because, Chris, my husband's running around here acting like 1017 00:39:15,852 --> 00:39:18,218 he's the white Nelson Mandela and if anybody's 1018 00:39:18,220 --> 00:39:20,957 not following his lead, then they're the enemy. 1019 00:39:21,557 --> 00:39:23,356 Now, I love my daughter, 1020 00:39:23,358 --> 00:39:25,926 and I will do whatever it takes to protect her. 1021 00:39:25,928 --> 00:39:27,028 I don't give a fuck about 1022 00:39:27,030 --> 00:39:28,461 signing some stupid government shit! 1023 00:39:28,463 --> 00:39:30,534 All I care about is taking care of my daughter. 1024 00:39:31,233 --> 00:39:34,234 So, I signed it. Yup, that's what I did. 1025 00:39:34,236 --> 00:39:35,838 I signed it. Is that a problem? 1026 00:39:36,271 --> 00:39:38,171 Do you hate me now? Huh? 1027 00:39:38,173 --> 00:39:40,276 Do I need your permission to protect my child? 1028 00:39:45,514 --> 00:39:47,048 We should've talked in the other room. 1029 00:39:47,050 --> 00:39:47,950 Mm-hmm! 1030 00:39:50,887 --> 00:39:52,222 Did everyone here sign? 1031 00:39:56,992 --> 00:39:58,859 - Shame on all of you. - Now, that's it! 1032 00:39:58,861 --> 00:40:00,461 - That's it. That's it. - Yeah. That is it! 1033 00:40:00,463 --> 00:40:02,262 You know what, I don't wanna eat with you people, 1034 00:40:02,264 --> 00:40:05,233 so, I'm gonna take my food and my wine, 1035 00:40:05,235 --> 00:40:07,133 and I'm gonna go sit in my car in the driveway. 1036 00:40:07,135 --> 00:40:08,535 And I'm gonna listen to some news, 1037 00:40:08,537 --> 00:40:10,937 and I'm gonna read little articles on my phone, 1038 00:40:10,939 --> 00:40:13,541 and eat my food, and you all can sit here at the table 1039 00:40:13,543 --> 00:40:15,542 and stuff your big fat fucking faces 1040 00:40:15,544 --> 00:40:17,611 and talk about the people that are being brutally executed 1041 00:40:17,613 --> 00:40:19,479 in the street by our police state. 1042 00:40:19,481 --> 00:40:21,115 I'll be in the driveway! 1043 00:40:21,117 --> 00:40:22,852 Happy Thanksgiving, motherfuckers! 1044 00:40:23,119 --> 00:40:24,021 Christopher! 1045 00:40:24,988 --> 00:40:26,653 [Chris] And save me some goddamned pie! 1046 00:40:26,655 --> 00:40:27,858 [door closes] 1047 00:40:38,101 --> 00:40:39,202 [radio news anchor] We have Connor Bregman 1048 00:40:40,436 --> 00:40:41,570 at the northern barrier at City Park, where we can see 1049 00:40:41,572 --> 00:40:44,939 literally hundreds of police and national guards 1050 00:40:44,941 --> 00:40:47,211 to what it appears to be a coup of some sort. 1051 00:40:47,610 --> 00:40:50,881 Connor, where are you at this hour? What's the feeling... 1052 00:40:53,515 --> 00:40:55,117 That was fucked up last night. 1053 00:40:55,918 --> 00:40:56,919 I hated it. 1054 00:40:57,921 --> 00:40:59,356 You ruined all of Thanksgiving. 1055 00:41:01,423 --> 00:41:03,492 Now, I know I signed it. 1056 00:41:04,459 --> 00:41:05,862 And I didn't tell you. 1057 00:41:07,030 --> 00:41:08,599 And I wish it didn't go down like that. 1058 00:41:10,032 --> 00:41:11,932 But I am not gonna apologize to you, 1059 00:41:11,934 --> 00:41:14,367 after you busted me out in front of your family like that. 1060 00:41:14,369 --> 00:41:16,970 Okay, I only did that because you betrayed me. 1061 00:41:16,972 --> 00:41:18,041 Betrayed you? 1062 00:41:18,340 --> 00:41:19,442 Betrayed you, Chris? 1063 00:41:19,943 --> 00:41:22,412 Really? You have been obsessed with this. 1064 00:41:23,445 --> 00:41:26,546 I have agreed with almost everything that you'd say. 1065 00:41:26,548 --> 00:41:28,017 I agree with almost everything. 1066 00:41:28,985 --> 00:41:31,188 But it is getting kinda ridiculous. I just... 1067 00:41:32,956 --> 00:41:34,624 I am just numb to the shit. 1068 00:41:36,159 --> 00:41:38,291 [imitating Chris] The "breaking news. 1069 00:41:38,293 --> 00:41:40,660 Oh my God, oh my God, did you see what happened? 1070 00:41:40,662 --> 00:41:42,495 Did you see? Did you see what happened? 1071 00:41:42,497 --> 00:41:45,369 These are my theories." Nobody gives a fuck, okay? 1072 00:41:46,235 --> 00:41:48,336 I am more concerned with raising our daughter 1073 00:41:48,338 --> 00:41:50,407 than what's going on out here in these streets. 1074 00:41:51,106 --> 00:41:53,409 This other shit, don't mean nothing to me. 1075 00:41:54,577 --> 00:41:56,213 You mean something to me. 1076 00:41:56,678 --> 00:42:00,180 I just don't understand how, as a black woman... 1077 00:42:00,182 --> 00:42:02,283 Hey, hey, hey, hey. We are not about to be out here 1078 00:42:02,285 --> 00:42:04,621 re-litigating all of this shit in the driveway. 1079 00:42:05,153 --> 00:42:08,224 Now, you have 24 hours before your whole family leaves. 1080 00:42:08,657 --> 00:42:10,658 I suggest you get your ass out of this car 1081 00:42:10,660 --> 00:42:13,030 and get in the house and apologize to them. 1082 00:42:13,296 --> 00:42:14,729 - Yeah, right. - I'm not playing. 1083 00:42:14,731 --> 00:42:17,564 That's so not happening, just so you know that! 1084 00:42:17,566 --> 00:42:19,568 I will never apologize! 1085 00:42:24,039 --> 00:42:26,175 - Hey, what's up, Avery? - Hey. 1086 00:42:27,142 --> 00:42:28,077 Everything okay? 1087 00:42:30,445 --> 00:42:31,347 Yup. 1088 00:42:37,519 --> 00:42:39,121 [news announcer] With the president the... 1089 00:42:42,325 --> 00:42:45,158 - [Kai] I'm sorry? come again. - [Peter] Ma'am, please? 1090 00:42:45,160 --> 00:42:46,559 - [Kai] No... - [Peter] Don't get excited. 1091 00:42:46,561 --> 00:42:47,695 [Kai] ...no, you don't understand... 1092 00:42:47,697 --> 00:42:49,430 - because this is my house... - [Peter] Ma'am... 1093 00:42:49,432 --> 00:42:51,164 ...and I didn't say you could come in it. 1094 00:42:51,166 --> 00:42:53,533 - [Peter] Ma'am, calm down. - Want me lower my voice? 1095 00:42:53,535 --> 00:42:54,769 You lower your voice all the way outside! 1096 00:42:54,771 --> 00:42:57,504 Whoa. I'm sorry. Excuse me, excuse me, what's going on? 1097 00:42:57,506 --> 00:42:59,376 - Can I help you? - Are you Mr. Powell? 1098 00:43:00,108 --> 00:43:01,510 - [Chris] Yes. - Christopher Powell? 1099 00:43:02,577 --> 00:43:04,447 - Yeah, sorry, who are you? - I'm, uh... 1100 00:43:05,213 --> 00:43:07,715 I'm Peter Yeun. This is Mason Berko. 1101 00:43:07,717 --> 00:43:09,052 We're with CPU. 1102 00:43:09,285 --> 00:43:10,684 That's, Citizen's Protection Unit, 1103 00:43:10,686 --> 00:43:12,285 we're a division of Homeland Security. 1104 00:43:12,287 --> 00:43:13,289 I... I... 1105 00:43:13,756 --> 00:43:15,292 I know what CPU is. I... 1106 00:43:16,425 --> 00:43:17,727 How did you get in my house? 1107 00:43:18,260 --> 00:43:19,329 Your brother let us in. 1108 00:43:20,630 --> 00:43:21,731 [Pat] I thought they were cops. 1109 00:43:22,432 --> 00:43:23,530 You're cops, right? 1110 00:43:23,532 --> 00:43:24,467 - CPU. - CPU. But... 1111 00:43:25,602 --> 00:43:27,637 - technically, we work for... - No, you're not cops. 1112 00:43:28,236 --> 00:43:30,137 But I am the owner of this home and I would like you 1113 00:43:30,139 --> 00:43:32,073 - to leave right now. - Hold on a second. I'm sorry. 1114 00:43:32,075 --> 00:43:34,511 I thought she was the owner of this house. 1115 00:43:36,746 --> 00:43:38,611 We're both the owners of this home. 1116 00:43:38,613 --> 00:43:40,016 Mm-hmm. He put a ring on it. 1117 00:43:42,385 --> 00:43:44,684 Mr. Powell, I want us out of your hair as much as you do. 1118 00:43:44,686 --> 00:43:45,720 - Believe me. - No, I don't believe you. 1119 00:43:45,722 --> 00:43:48,122 I want you out of my hair more than you think 1120 00:43:48,124 --> 00:43:50,127 I want you out of my hair. Trust that. 1121 00:43:50,325 --> 00:43:52,128 - Wait, who are they? - [Pat] Cops. 1122 00:43:53,162 --> 00:43:54,695 - Not cops, CPU. - CPU. 1123 00:43:54,697 --> 00:43:57,131 They're not... they're not cops! They're not cops! 1124 00:43:57,133 --> 00:43:59,166 Mr. Powell, if we could just step in the other room, 1125 00:43:59,168 --> 00:44:01,102 we could talk for a few minutes, we could let you get back 1126 00:44:01,104 --> 00:44:02,572 to your family, who seem lovely, by the way. 1127 00:44:03,206 --> 00:44:04,508 Do you think that's something we could do? 1128 00:44:07,309 --> 00:44:10,477 Mom, the kids are in Hardy's room, they're watching 1129 00:44:10,479 --> 00:44:12,445 Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, can you please go 1130 00:44:12,447 --> 00:44:14,183 in there and make sure the door stays shut, please? 1131 00:44:14,749 --> 00:44:15,751 Thank you. 1132 00:44:19,655 --> 00:44:21,191 Can we please go in another room? 1133 00:44:22,291 --> 00:44:23,226 No. 1134 00:44:25,260 --> 00:44:26,529 - Can we sit down? - No, we can't. 1135 00:44:27,796 --> 00:44:29,331 I wanna know why you're here and I wanna know right now. 1136 00:44:32,401 --> 00:44:34,167 We received a report that you were impeding 1137 00:44:34,169 --> 00:44:36,372 a private citizen's choice to sign the Oath. 1138 00:44:40,476 --> 00:44:44,113 I'm sorry, did someone, like, report me or something? 1139 00:44:45,213 --> 00:44:46,747 I'm sorry, we can't divulge that information. 1140 00:44:46,749 --> 00:44:47,917 Okay, this is ridiculous. This... 1141 00:44:48,751 --> 00:44:52,620 Impeding a citizen's right to... to... to sign the Oath? 1142 00:44:52,622 --> 00:44:54,655 That's not a thing. That's nothingness. 1143 00:44:54,657 --> 00:44:56,356 No, it's something. Definitely something. 1144 00:44:56,358 --> 00:44:57,726 No. It's not, it's not something. It's not something. 1145 00:44:59,128 --> 00:45:00,294 I just read an article yesterday in Republica about it, okay. 1146 00:45:00,296 --> 00:45:02,198 They're arguing it up in courts right now. So there's... 1147 00:45:03,465 --> 00:45:05,201 - Do you guys have a warrant? - Mm? 1148 00:45:06,769 --> 00:45:08,769 - No, we don't. - Uh, okay, bye-bye! 1149 00:45:08,771 --> 00:45:10,173 - Out! You're out! - Sir, back up, please. 1150 00:45:11,407 --> 00:45:12,476 - No, get out of my house. - Sir, you don't need to be rude. 1151 00:45:12,675 --> 00:45:13,577 Ru... 1152 00:45:15,510 --> 00:45:18,711 This is America! I can be rude! Fuck you! 1153 00:45:18,713 --> 00:45:20,780 Mr. Powell, you're right, the legality of the situation 1154 00:45:20,782 --> 00:45:23,886 is a little fluid and it's a bit of a grey area. However... 1155 00:45:24,320 --> 00:45:27,655 we received a complaint and we are obligated to investigate. 1156 00:45:27,657 --> 00:45:29,289 This is fucking insane right now. I can't even... 1157 00:45:29,291 --> 00:45:30,360 Let's call Sheldon. 1158 00:45:30,660 --> 00:45:32,593 Yeah, yeah. I'm calling my attorney, 1159 00:45:32,595 --> 00:45:35,198 and I'm not saying shit until I talk to him. 1160 00:45:35,965 --> 00:45:38,666 Oh, also, real quick while we're in the other room, 1161 00:45:38,668 --> 00:45:40,568 you two guys wait outside, please. 1162 00:45:40,570 --> 00:45:42,139 Thank you. We'll wait right here. 1163 00:45:43,539 --> 00:45:45,842 You're in big trouble. You're in big trouble! 1164 00:45:49,512 --> 00:45:50,945 Can I get you gentlemen tea or coffee? 1165 00:45:50,947 --> 00:45:52,345 - Abbie... - What? 1166 00:45:52,347 --> 00:45:53,349 ...no. 1167 00:45:53,682 --> 00:45:55,416 [both exhale deeply] 1168 00:45:55,418 --> 00:45:56,850 What is happening? 1169 00:45:56,852 --> 00:45:58,385 I don't understand how this is happening. 1170 00:45:58,387 --> 00:45:59,789 I don't know, but we gotta figure it out, okay? 1171 00:46:00,256 --> 00:46:01,821 Where is Sheldon? Where's Sheldon? 1172 00:46:01,823 --> 00:46:04,628 Okay, fine. My phone is dead 'cause I had it on all night. 1173 00:46:04,827 --> 00:46:06,359 Okay, okay. Use mine. Use mine. 1174 00:46:06,361 --> 00:46:07,697 Yes, okay. Thank you. 1175 00:46:10,499 --> 00:46:12,602 [phone ringing out] 1176 00:46:13,735 --> 00:46:15,371 [voice mail] The mailbox is full and is not accepting... 1177 00:46:15,604 --> 00:46:17,403 - Fuck! The voice mail's full. - What? 1178 00:46:17,405 --> 00:46:18,905 - Okay... - Okay. Okay. 1179 00:46:18,907 --> 00:46:20,874 Hey, we can work this out. We can figure this out. 1180 00:46:20,876 --> 00:46:23,345 - Gotta think, gotta think. - I'm gonna say one thing quick. 1181 00:46:23,713 --> 00:46:26,446 Fucking Pat did this. Pat called this in. 1182 00:46:26,448 --> 00:46:28,485 Come on, you don't know that and I don't believe that. 1183 00:46:28,784 --> 00:46:30,917 Okay, okay, then it was for sure his girlfriend. 1184 00:46:30,919 --> 00:46:33,019 I'm gonna tell you something, you know I'm a feminist. 1185 00:46:33,021 --> 00:46:35,588 - Yeah. - I waited in line for two hours 1186 00:46:35,590 --> 00:46:37,359 so Roxane Gay could sign her book to you. 1187 00:46:37,626 --> 00:46:38,858 - Yeah. - She was brilliant! 1188 00:46:38,860 --> 00:46:40,796 - Yeah. - Abbie's a little cunt. 1189 00:46:40,997 --> 00:46:42,262 No! You're not using that word in this house. 1190 00:46:42,264 --> 00:46:44,932 Okay, we have talked about that. You are not allowed to use that. 1191 00:46:44,934 --> 00:46:46,700 You can use “pussy,” “trash pussy” 1192 00:46:46,702 --> 00:46:49,269 - but you cannot use that word. - Abbie's a trash pussy! 1193 00:46:49,271 --> 00:46:50,937 Okay, that's fine. She's a trash pussy. 1194 00:46:50,939 --> 00:46:52,506 If you say so, I agree with you. 1195 00:46:52,508 --> 00:46:53,410 - Okay - But here's the thing. 1196 00:46:54,644 --> 00:46:55,742 I just wanna say I told you this was gonna happen one day! 1197 00:46:55,744 --> 00:46:58,278 One day, I said, they're gonna come to the home, 1198 00:46:58,280 --> 00:46:59,780 - they're gonna come to the home - You were right. 1199 00:46:59,782 --> 00:47:01,914 - ...and get Gestapo! - You were right, baby. I think... 1200 00:47:01,916 --> 00:47:03,919 I think we have one option and one option only. 1201 00:47:04,387 --> 00:47:06,957 We don't say shit until we talk to Sheldon. 1202 00:47:07,523 --> 00:47:08,758 Okay? Only option. 1203 00:47:09,959 --> 00:47:12,059 Okay, that is a good option. That is a very good choice. 1204 00:47:12,061 --> 00:47:13,693 - But here's another choice... - Mm-hmm. 1205 00:47:13,695 --> 00:47:14,827 - ...another idea. - Okay. 1206 00:47:14,829 --> 00:47:15,995 - Just a random thought... - Okay. 1207 00:47:15,997 --> 00:47:17,400 ...I think it might work. 1208 00:47:18,700 --> 00:47:20,869 Just answer their questions and they'll probably just leave. 1209 00:47:21,637 --> 00:47:23,336 How about that? They'll probably leave. 1210 00:47:23,338 --> 00:47:24,771 No. No! I'm not being interrogated 1211 00:47:24,773 --> 00:47:25,976 in my own home without a warrant! 1212 00:47:27,209 --> 00:47:27,242 First of all, you're gonna stop saying your own home okay? 1213 00:47:28,445 --> 00:47:31,010 'Cause this is our home that we raise our child in, okay? 1214 00:47:31,012 --> 00:47:33,446 Now, I just wanna figure out a way to get these motherfuckers 1215 00:47:33,448 --> 00:47:35,015 up outta here as quickly as possible. 1216 00:47:35,017 --> 00:47:37,687 - This is not Nazi Germany! - You are so right. 1217 00:47:37,952 --> 00:47:41,321 Duh, duh Chris! Hello? Danke schön! 1218 00:47:41,323 --> 00:47:43,592 - Thanks for the information! - Okay, all right. I got it. 1219 00:47:44,026 --> 00:47:44,961 But what are you gonna say? 1220 00:47:45,727 --> 00:47:47,394 I'm gonna teach them about something called 1221 00:47:47,396 --> 00:47:49,032 - The United States Constitution! - [Kai] Ugh... 1222 00:47:50,398 --> 00:47:52,399 All right. 1223 00:47:53,401 --> 00:47:54,470 [Chris] Excuse me. 1224 00:47:54,769 --> 00:47:55,771 Great. 1225 00:47:56,805 --> 00:47:58,307 Did you speak with your attorney? 1226 00:47:59,474 --> 00:48:00,376 I did. 1227 00:48:01,410 --> 00:48:03,046 And he said because you don't have a warrant... 1228 00:48:03,512 --> 00:48:04,780 you have no right to be here. 1229 00:48:05,347 --> 00:48:06,914 We don't have to answer any of your questions, 1230 00:48:06,916 --> 00:48:09,015 and you need to leave our home right now. 1231 00:48:09,017 --> 00:48:10,387 Well, then, that's that. 1232 00:48:11,954 --> 00:48:14,088 - Right. I understand. - Thank you. 1233 00:48:14,090 --> 00:48:15,057 [Mason] I don't. 1234 00:48:16,992 --> 00:48:17,994 Huh? 1235 00:48:18,961 --> 00:48:20,894 I don't understand 1236 00:48:20,896 --> 00:48:23,600 why you can't just answer some questions. 1237 00:48:24,867 --> 00:48:27,537 Okay, well, I'll tell you. Because, um... 1238 00:48:28,104 --> 00:48:30,838 in America, we have this thing called the Constitution and... 1239 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:33,707 I know what the Constitution is, you condescending fucking pussy. 1240 00:48:33,709 --> 00:48:36,008 Mason, stop. I don't want to get written up again, okay? 1241 00:48:36,010 --> 00:48:38,447 [Mason] See, I know guys like you. 1242 00:48:39,648 --> 00:48:41,818 You've never fought for this country a day in your life. 1243 00:48:42,584 --> 00:48:43,986 You haven't sacrificed anything 1244 00:48:44,387 --> 00:48:46,555 and you're disrespectful to people like me... 1245 00:48:47,956 --> 00:48:49,858 people who are here to protect you. 1246 00:48:50,959 --> 00:48:51,994 But that's done. 1247 00:48:53,695 --> 00:48:57,433 Boys like you will soon learn that those days are over. 1248 00:48:59,135 --> 00:48:59,968 Mason, stop. 1249 00:49:00,802 --> 00:49:01,570 - [Alice] Leave it. Chris. - Peter... 1250 00:49:02,238 --> 00:49:03,039 don't tell me what to do. 1251 00:49:05,073 --> 00:49:07,510 I just think the three of us should go for a ride. 1252 00:49:13,048 --> 00:49:14,818 I'm not going anywhere. [clears throat] 1253 00:49:16,418 --> 00:49:17,686 Say that to me again. 1254 00:49:18,421 --> 00:49:19,622 [Peter] Mason. 1255 00:49:22,425 --> 00:49:23,560 Get out of my house. 1256 00:49:24,160 --> 00:49:25,729 I think you're coming with me. 1257 00:49:30,099 --> 00:49:31,832 - Fuck off. - [Pat] Oh, boy. Get out of here. 1258 00:49:31,834 --> 00:49:33,700 - [Pat] Come on, guys. - It's okay. It's okay. 1259 00:49:33,702 --> 00:49:35,202 - [Peter] Let's go, let's go. - [Mason] It's okay. 1260 00:49:35,204 --> 00:49:37,439 - [Alice] Chris, enough. - I would like... 1261 00:49:38,072 --> 00:49:40,943 - to apologize. - [Abbie] See, he's a good guy. 1262 00:49:41,876 --> 00:49:43,510 - [all] Oh! - [Peter] Mason! 1263 00:49:43,512 --> 00:49:44,577 [Kai] Shit! 1264 00:49:44,579 --> 00:49:46,715 [indistinct chatter] 1265 00:49:47,015 --> 00:49:48,985 - Let her go! Come on! - [Peter] Mason! Stand back! 1266 00:49:50,186 --> 00:49:52,122 - [voices fading] - [high-pitched ringing sound] 1267 00:49:58,727 --> 00:50:00,897 [Pat] Let her go, man. Let her go! 1268 00:50:02,465 --> 00:50:04,033 - [Pat] What the fuck? - [Peter] Mason, stand back. 1269 00:50:04,733 --> 00:50:06,666 - Stay back! - What is that, man? 1270 00:50:06,668 --> 00:50:07,934 Get him under control! 1271 00:50:07,936 --> 00:50:09,471 - [Peter] Mason... - [Pat] You guys gotta go! 1272 00:50:09,939 --> 00:50:10,874 [Chris grunts] 1273 00:50:11,840 --> 00:50:13,073 I'll break it! 1274 00:50:13,075 --> 00:50:14,144 - This is too much, man. - Quiet! 1275 00:50:15,244 --> 00:50:16,309 - You guys went too far. - Why didn't he just sign it? 1276 00:50:16,311 --> 00:50:17,146 - I'll break your fucking arm. - Please don't! 1277 00:50:18,414 --> 00:50:20,580 - Listen, I'll sign it! I'll it! - [Mason] You fucking will! 1278 00:50:20,582 --> 00:50:22,249 I will go online! I'll sign the online one! 1279 00:50:22,251 --> 00:50:23,953 Are you ready? I'm gonna break your fucking arm. 1280 00:50:24,186 --> 00:50:25,986 - [Chris screaming] - Mason, let him go! 1281 00:50:25,988 --> 00:50:27,823 - [thud] - [all scream] 1282 00:50:30,659 --> 00:50:32,258 - Drop it! - [Hank] I'm sorry, I'm sorry! 1283 00:50:32,260 --> 00:50:33,929 Hands up! Hands up! 1284 00:50:35,697 --> 00:50:36,598 [Mason] Pete? 1285 00:50:38,767 --> 00:50:39,669 Pete? 1286 00:50:40,702 --> 00:50:41,637 Pete? 1287 00:50:44,072 --> 00:50:44,973 Don't! 1288 00:50:48,244 --> 00:50:49,642 - [Hank grunts] - [all clamoring] 1289 00:50:49,644 --> 00:50:51,146 Hands behind your back, you're under arrest. 1290 00:50:51,613 --> 00:50:53,747 - Why did you do that? - [choking] 1291 00:50:53,749 --> 00:50:55,682 - Why did you do that? - [Alice] Let go of my dad! 1292 00:50:55,684 --> 00:50:57,050 Shut the fuck up! Back up! 1293 00:50:57,052 --> 00:50:59,253 - [Pat] Hey, hey, hey! - [Alice] Let go of my dad! 1294 00:50:59,255 --> 00:51:01,187 - Hey! - [Alice screams] 1295 00:51:01,189 --> 00:51:04,726 [Kai] Chris! Chris! What the fuck? 1296 00:51:08,930 --> 00:51:10,830 Oh, my God! Chris, what are you doing? 1297 00:51:10,832 --> 00:51:12,932 - [Chris] I don't know. Jesus. - [Mason grunts] 1298 00:51:12,934 --> 00:51:15,204 - [Kai] Chris... - Chris, what'd you do, man? 1299 00:51:15,838 --> 00:51:17,537 - [Kai] What the fuck! - I don't know. 1300 00:51:17,539 --> 00:51:19,006 - What is happening? - [Pat] What are you doing? 1301 00:51:19,008 --> 00:51:20,810 [Chris] Calm down, I don't know, I don't know. 1302 00:51:21,744 --> 00:51:23,776 Get away! Get away! Watch out! 1303 00:51:23,778 --> 00:51:26,847 Stand back! Everyone stand back. Stay back! 1304 00:51:26,849 --> 00:51:29,017 [Mason] Fuck! Fuck! [indistinct shrieking] 1305 00:51:29,818 --> 00:51:31,218 [Mason] Give me my fucking gun. 1306 00:51:31,220 --> 00:51:33,590 - [Abbie] Oh, God, oh, God... - [Chris] I can do it. 1307 00:51:33,822 --> 00:51:35,157 - Don't do it. - Chris, what the fuck! 1308 00:51:35,691 --> 00:51:37,060 [Chris] Okay, everyone be cool. 1309 00:51:37,726 --> 00:51:40,026 - Give me the gun. - I'm not doing that, all right. 1310 00:51:40,028 --> 00:51:40,863 You take another step 1311 00:51:41,731 --> 00:51:42,165 and I'll fucking shoot you, okay? 1312 00:51:43,131 --> 00:51:44,064 You don't know me. You think you know me, 1313 00:51:44,066 --> 00:51:46,636 but you don't know me. I'm a bad fuck. 1314 00:51:47,035 --> 00:51:48,738 Er, I'm a bad fuck-er. 1315 00:51:49,338 --> 00:51:50,540 [Kai] Chris... 1316 00:51:51,606 --> 00:51:53,606 - [Mason] You're a dumb fuck! - No, I'm not! 1317 00:51:53,608 --> 00:51:54,843 I'm smart and I have a gun! 1318 00:51:55,343 --> 00:51:57,109 [Chris] Ooh, his head's all fucked up. 1319 00:51:57,111 --> 00:51:59,648 - Kai, his head's all fucked up. - Why is it black? 1320 00:51:59,847 --> 00:52:01,782 Did I do that to his head? Or was his head like that before? 1321 00:52:01,784 --> 00:52:03,916 - [Kai] You did that shit! - [Hank] Put the gun down. Son... 1322 00:52:03,918 --> 00:52:05,651 - I'm not doing that, Dad. - ...put the gun down. 1323 00:52:05,653 --> 00:52:07,588 - We can talk about this, baby. - We will. 1324 00:52:07,590 --> 00:52:09,959 - We will talk about it. You... - Chris... 1325 00:52:11,160 --> 00:52:12,161 Put your hands up! 1326 00:52:13,796 --> 00:52:15,665 Put your hands up. Sir... 1327 00:52:16,331 --> 00:52:18,066 - Put ‘em up! - They're up! 1328 00:52:18,666 --> 00:52:20,135 Okay, they were a little low when I said it! 1329 00:52:20,668 --> 00:52:21,904 - [Chris breathes heavily] Pat... - Yeah? 1330 00:52:22,236 --> 00:52:23,803 [Chris] See if he's got handcuffs or something. 1331 00:52:23,805 --> 00:52:25,204 - No, Pat! No, Pat! No... - Okay. 1332 00:52:25,206 --> 00:52:26,575 [Chris] Abbie, shut up! 1333 00:52:27,776 --> 00:52:29,075 [Mason] Touch me and I'll drop you. 1334 00:52:29,077 --> 00:52:31,812 You drop him, and I drop you. Give me a reason. 1335 00:52:31,814 --> 00:52:33,216 I wanna drop you. 1336 00:52:34,617 --> 00:52:37,084 - Oh shit, baby. - Try me. I want you to. 1337 00:52:37,086 --> 00:52:39,022 I want you to. I fucking want you to. 1338 00:52:39,354 --> 00:52:40,322 We got a ziptie. 1339 00:52:41,189 --> 00:52:41,722 - Do you know how to use those? - Yeah. 1340 00:52:41,724 --> 00:52:43,191 [Chris] Tie him up. 1341 00:52:44,293 --> 00:52:47,026 - [Pat] Move that other hand. - Oh, my God, oh, my God. 1342 00:52:47,028 --> 00:52:48,764 [Chris] All right, all right. 1343 00:52:49,197 --> 00:52:51,330 Kai, it's okay, it's okay, baby. It's okay, baby. It's okay. 1344 00:52:51,332 --> 00:52:52,834 - Baby. - [Chris] It's okay. 1345 00:52:53,168 --> 00:52:54,803 Kai, it's okay. Here's what we're gonna do. 1346 00:52:56,771 --> 00:52:58,006 We're going into the TV room. 1347 00:53:05,113 --> 00:53:06,646 [Alice] Jesus, what's that? 1348 00:53:06,648 --> 00:53:07,814 [Chris] It's a Taser. 1349 00:53:07,816 --> 00:53:08,751 Where did you get that? 1350 00:53:09,718 --> 00:53:11,854 - I ordered it online. - You never told me that. 1351 00:53:12,253 --> 00:53:14,256 I know, I'm sorry. Can we talk about it later? 1352 00:53:14,789 --> 00:53:16,189 If he moves, tase him. 1353 00:53:16,191 --> 00:53:17,927 Mom, keys. 1354 00:53:19,360 --> 00:53:20,929 Grab... grab those keys, please. 1355 00:53:21,262 --> 00:53:23,699 All right, listen, very important, 1356 00:53:23,932 --> 00:53:26,099 you need to take all three of the kids 1357 00:53:26,101 --> 00:53:27,334 three doors down to the Berman's house 1358 00:53:27,336 --> 00:53:28,671 and make sure that they stay there. 1359 00:53:29,872 --> 00:53:31,303 You can show them movies, feed them whatever they want, 1360 00:53:31,305 --> 00:53:32,342 make sure they're happy and safe. 1361 00:53:33,476 --> 00:53:35,207 But make sure they stay in the house, okay? Thank you. 1362 00:53:35,209 --> 00:53:37,146 Can I take food from this house to that house? 1363 00:53:38,012 --> 00:53:40,312 Yes, of course. Anything you need. 1364 00:53:40,314 --> 00:53:42,117 Okay, I can make twice baked potatoes, 1365 00:53:42,316 --> 00:53:45,021 I can make a cream of turkey. I need bread. 1366 00:53:45,220 --> 00:53:46,887 - Great, bring the milk too. - Are they allowed sugar? 1367 00:53:46,889 --> 00:53:48,421 Yes, they can have literally whatever they want. 1368 00:53:48,423 --> 00:53:49,791 Just keep them safe. Please keep them... 1369 00:53:50,992 --> 00:53:52,091 - Chris, I need to talk to you... - [Alice] Chris, come here. 1370 00:53:52,093 --> 00:53:53,093 - Wait, Chris, please, I just... - Hold on, hold on... 1371 00:53:53,095 --> 00:53:55,198 What should I do? His eyes are just like... 1372 00:53:56,398 --> 00:53:58,834 Are they like... Or are they like... 1373 00:53:59,233 --> 00:54:00,836 No, it's like... they're like... 1374 00:54:01,302 --> 00:54:03,169 I think that's okay, though. 1375 00:54:03,171 --> 00:54:05,305 - Really? - All right, keep an eye on him. 1376 00:54:05,307 --> 00:54:06,776 - Chris... - I wanna tell... 1377 00:54:07,943 --> 00:54:09,276 I should've hit him, instead of the Chinese fella. 1378 00:54:09,278 --> 00:54:10,413 Chi... No! 1379 00:54:10,845 --> 00:54:12,280 - Asian-American! - What? 1380 00:54:12,481 --> 00:54:14,082 Asian-American! You don't know where his family is from. 1381 00:54:14,282 --> 00:54:17,119 They could be from Korea, they could be from fucking Laos. 1382 00:54:17,452 --> 00:54:18,887 [Mason laughs] 1383 00:54:20,021 --> 00:54:20,855 What's so funny? 1384 00:54:21,456 --> 00:54:24,393 It's just how much trouble you're in. 1385 00:54:25,394 --> 00:54:28,965 Attempted murder, kidnapping. You're done. 1386 00:54:29,497 --> 00:54:30,867 [chuckles] You're all... 1387 00:54:32,200 --> 00:54:34,233 We didn't attempt to murder anyone. 1388 00:54:34,235 --> 00:54:36,035 And guess what? Guess what? You're in trouble, too. 1389 00:54:36,037 --> 00:54:37,738 Because you came in here without a warrant... 1390 00:54:37,740 --> 00:54:39,439 You assaulted two government agents. 1391 00:54:39,441 --> 00:54:41,240 I lightly shoved you, okay. 1392 00:54:41,242 --> 00:54:44,176 You busted my fucking lip with your arm, and I got witnesses! 1393 00:54:44,178 --> 00:54:46,282 You mean accomplices, right? That's what these people are. 1394 00:54:47,249 --> 00:54:49,416 And every second they don't untie me is just years 1395 00:54:49,418 --> 00:54:51,287 I'm gonna add to their sentences. 1396 00:54:52,887 --> 00:54:54,023 So, what's the plan? 1397 00:54:55,323 --> 00:54:56,793 What are you gonna do? 1398 00:54:58,126 --> 00:55:00,426 My plan is none of your business. 1399 00:55:00,428 --> 00:55:01,428 Oh, you don't have a plan, do you? 1400 00:55:01,430 --> 00:55:04,000 - [Chris] I have a plan! - Chris, kitchen, now! 1401 00:55:04,198 --> 00:55:05,532 - No, you don't. - Gonna talk in the kitchen. 1402 00:55:05,534 --> 00:55:07,399 - Now! - I do have a plan 1403 00:55:07,401 --> 00:55:09,803 and I'm not sharing it with your fucking ass! 1404 00:55:09,805 --> 00:55:11,207 - Hmm. - [Chris] All right, Pat, 1405 00:55:11,506 --> 00:55:13,809 if this guy moves one muscle, just tase him. 1406 00:55:15,343 --> 00:55:18,044 - [Chris] Pat! - Yeah, yeah. Okay. I got it. 1407 00:55:18,046 --> 00:55:18,981 And then if... 1408 00:55:19,881 --> 00:55:20,916 I don't want that. 1409 00:55:21,349 --> 00:55:23,316 - [stammers] - [Kai] Chris! 1410 00:55:23,318 --> 00:55:24,821 I'm gonna hold it. I'm gonna hold it. 1411 00:55:25,553 --> 00:55:27,153 [Kai] Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! 1412 00:55:27,155 --> 00:55:28,423 Oh boy. Oh, my God, oh, my God. 1413 00:55:29,758 --> 00:55:30,823 - It's bad. It's really bad. - Chris. Chris, it's really bad. 1414 00:55:30,825 --> 00:55:33,093 - It's really bad. - You gotta call the cops now. 1415 00:55:33,095 --> 00:55:35,162 I'm not calling the cops. If I untie that fucking guy, 1416 00:55:35,164 --> 00:55:37,363 he's gonna fucking kill me! He's a mad man. 1417 00:55:37,365 --> 00:55:38,266 He has to cool down. 1418 00:55:39,300 --> 00:55:40,432 He is not gonna cool down any time soon, okay. 1419 00:55:40,434 --> 00:55:43,470 I'm gonna go check on your mom, okay, and the kids. 1420 00:55:43,472 --> 00:55:45,975 You need to get Sheldon on the phone 1421 00:55:46,340 --> 00:55:48,874 and tell him exactly what's happening right now. 1422 00:55:48,876 --> 00:55:50,876 - Okay, all right, fine. - [Kai] Goddamn it! 1423 00:55:50,878 --> 00:55:51,880 Fuck! 1424 00:55:53,014 --> 00:55:54,150 This is stupid. 1425 00:55:55,483 --> 00:55:56,985 [static] 1426 00:55:58,153 --> 00:56:00,089 - [Sheldon] Hello? - Sheldon? 1427 00:56:00,555 --> 00:56:02,958 Sheldon! Sheldon, do you hear me? 1428 00:56:05,860 --> 00:56:07,494 - [Sheldon] Chris? - Yes! Yes... 1429 00:56:07,496 --> 00:56:08,997 - [incoming call beeps] - She... 1430 00:56:09,463 --> 00:56:11,767 Hold on Sheldon. What is it, Mom? 1431 00:56:12,200 --> 00:56:13,401 [Eleanor] Can the kids watch The BFG? 1432 00:56:14,602 --> 00:56:15,968 Fine! They can watch whatever they want. I don't care! 1433 00:56:15,970 --> 00:56:18,039 Sheldon, are you there? Sheldon! 1434 00:56:19,073 --> 00:56:21,173 [Sheldon] Chris, I'm at the base of Mt. Kilimanjaro. 1435 00:56:21,175 --> 00:56:22,408 The reception is poor. 1436 00:56:22,410 --> 00:56:24,276 I can hear you, brother! I can hear you. 1437 00:56:24,278 --> 00:56:27,012 Okay, Sheldon, I'm gonna speak quick, okay? 1438 00:56:27,014 --> 00:56:28,283 'Cause I got a big problem here. 1439 00:56:29,584 --> 00:56:32,251 Okay, these two guys came into my house and they're from CPU, 1440 00:56:32,253 --> 00:56:34,254 and they assaulted me, and my dad freaked out 1441 00:56:34,256 --> 00:56:35,988 and he hit one of them with a shovel, and the other one 1442 00:56:35,990 --> 00:56:37,390 pulled out a gun and I thought he was gonna kill my dad, 1443 00:56:37,392 --> 00:56:39,392 so I hit him with a shovel, and now, you know, 1444 00:56:39,394 --> 00:56:41,531 I tied him up, and I'm wondering... 1445 00:56:42,164 --> 00:56:46,302 I'm wondering, as my attorney, what you think I should do. 1446 00:56:49,204 --> 00:56:52,104 [Sheldon] Chris, I'm sorry, did you say, “Tied up”? 1447 00:56:52,106 --> 00:56:54,640 Yes, yes. I tied up... I ziptied him. 1448 00:56:54,642 --> 00:56:55,878 His hands. 1449 00:56:57,945 --> 00:56:58,880 [Sheldon] Okay. 1450 00:56:59,881 --> 00:57:01,082 You have to let them go. 1451 00:57:04,285 --> 00:57:06,155 Maybe I didn't explain it the right way. 1452 00:57:06,655 --> 00:57:08,390 [Sheldon] I don't know what there is to explain. 1453 00:57:09,157 --> 00:57:11,093 You need to let them go right now. 1454 00:57:12,526 --> 00:57:13,428 [Sheldon] Chris? 1455 00:57:14,329 --> 00:57:16,162 Chris, we're starting our ascent. 1456 00:57:16,164 --> 00:57:18,167 I have to hang up. Good luck! 1457 00:57:18,367 --> 00:57:20,033 [Alice] Hey! Chris, come here, please! 1458 00:57:20,035 --> 00:57:21,334 - Fuck! - [Mason] He needs help! 1459 00:57:21,336 --> 00:57:22,338 [Mason] Help him, look at him! 1460 00:57:23,338 --> 00:57:24,204 - Alice, help him! Help him! - I'm trying to! 1461 00:57:24,206 --> 00:57:26,242 I'm a tax consultant, okay! Just... 1462 00:57:26,541 --> 00:57:27,543 Just breathe. 1463 00:57:28,677 --> 00:57:29,642 Uh, should I get water? Should we make him drink water? 1464 00:57:29,644 --> 00:57:31,912 Pat, you can't force someone to drink. 1465 00:57:31,914 --> 00:57:33,512 Okay, what is it with you and water right now? 1466 00:57:33,514 --> 00:57:35,050 - Leave it alone with the water. - Hey! 1467 00:57:35,450 --> 00:57:37,919 He needs to go to the hospital or he's gonna die. 1468 00:57:39,521 --> 00:57:41,023 [groans] 1469 00:57:42,124 --> 00:57:43,590 - [Chris] Whoa... - [Alice] God. 1470 00:57:43,592 --> 00:57:44,526 I don't think so. 1471 00:57:45,427 --> 00:57:47,129 - You fucking idiot. - [Chris] Hello, sir? 1472 00:57:48,363 --> 00:57:49,265 Sir. 1473 00:57:49,965 --> 00:57:51,534 Is there blood? Sir? 1474 00:57:52,267 --> 00:57:53,966 [Alice] There's not actually a lot of blood. 1475 00:57:53,968 --> 00:57:56,102 - Sir, hello? - [Peter groans] 1476 00:57:56,104 --> 00:57:57,939 - Oh, there he is. There he is. - Hi. 1477 00:57:58,173 --> 00:57:59,238 Great, okay. 1478 00:57:59,240 --> 00:58:01,941 - Hi! - I'm here. I'm here. 1479 00:58:01,943 --> 00:58:04,109 Hi! Hi! 1480 00:58:04,111 --> 00:58:06,514 - [Alice] He's fine. He's fine. - [Chris] He's fine now. 1481 00:58:07,316 --> 00:58:08,618 He's okay. He's okay. 1482 00:58:09,517 --> 00:58:11,186 [Peter sighs] 1483 00:58:12,287 --> 00:58:13,656 Why is Mason tied to a chair? 1484 00:58:14,189 --> 00:58:15,454 [Mason] Yeah, why am I tied up? 1485 00:58:15,456 --> 00:58:16,925 Psst. He has amnesia. 1486 00:58:17,592 --> 00:58:18,526 No... 1487 00:58:20,729 --> 00:58:22,431 I remember you guys fighting... 1488 00:58:23,999 --> 00:58:25,368 and then I went down. 1489 00:58:27,302 --> 00:58:29,572 But I don't understand why he's tied to a chair, 1490 00:58:30,572 --> 00:58:31,941 and why you have his gun. 1491 00:58:37,311 --> 00:58:39,648 [whispers] Paul, ah... Tell me your name again? 1492 00:58:41,249 --> 00:58:42,418 - Peter Yuen. - [Chris] Peter Yuen. 1493 00:58:43,684 --> 00:58:46,255 We have a situation here that has escalated out of control. 1494 00:58:47,155 --> 00:58:48,423 [exhales] What do we know? 1495 00:58:49,291 --> 00:58:50,526 We know that you and... 1496 00:58:51,492 --> 00:58:53,325 your friend over there came into my home 1497 00:58:53,327 --> 00:58:54,329 without a warrant... 1498 00:58:55,264 --> 00:58:56,762 - and assaulted me. - [Mason] Oh, bullshit. 1499 00:58:56,764 --> 00:58:59,567 Okay? And you got hit on the head and I'm... 1500 00:59:00,369 --> 00:59:03,139 really sorry about that. But when you hit the ground, 1501 00:59:03,405 --> 00:59:05,571 he freaked out and pulled out a gun, 1502 00:59:05,573 --> 00:59:07,307 and started choking my dad. 1503 00:59:07,309 --> 00:59:10,412 And... and... and things happened, and now here we are. 1504 00:59:11,146 --> 00:59:13,515 And what I would like to do, is weigh our options. 1505 00:59:14,548 --> 00:59:15,483 [Peter] Okay. 1506 00:59:17,318 --> 00:59:20,121 - What are our options? - Yeah, what are our options? 1507 00:59:22,157 --> 00:59:23,059 Uh, I don't know. 1508 00:59:23,925 --> 00:59:25,358 I don't... I don't... I don't know. 1509 00:59:25,360 --> 00:59:26,461 It happened so fast. 1510 00:59:27,662 --> 00:59:29,030 [Mason] Peter, call this in, tell them they attacked us. 1511 00:59:29,898 --> 00:59:31,263 - [Chris] Peter... - [Mason] Peter... 1512 00:59:31,265 --> 00:59:32,298 - I can't let... - [Mason] Peter... 1513 00:59:32,300 --> 00:59:34,035 I can't let that happen, Peter. 1514 00:59:37,238 --> 00:59:38,204 I understand. 1515 00:59:38,206 --> 00:59:40,442 - [Mason] Peter! - Mason, I am handling this. 1516 00:59:42,711 --> 00:59:44,513 Okay, Mr. Powell, let's talk. 1517 00:59:46,148 --> 00:59:46,948 Thank you. 1518 00:59:47,715 --> 00:59:49,215 And you called me Chris, by the way. 1519 00:59:49,217 --> 00:59:50,186 Mr. Powell is my dad. 1520 00:59:51,253 --> 00:59:51,553 Yeah, the guy who hit you over the fucking head. 1521 00:59:52,488 --> 00:59:54,153 - Shut up! Shut up. - It was self-defense. 1522 00:59:54,155 --> 00:59:55,390 [Peter] I got it, Mason. 1523 00:59:56,791 --> 00:59:58,226 - Chris... - Chris. 1524 00:59:59,427 --> 01:00:02,731 ...there were mistakes made. Yes, on both sides. 1525 01:00:03,197 --> 01:00:05,231 And what I'd like to do is for us to leave... 1526 01:00:05,233 --> 01:00:06,135 [Chris] Hmm. 1527 01:00:06,401 --> 01:00:08,371 - ...and to regroup... - Mm-hmm. 1528 01:00:09,070 --> 01:00:11,273 ...and contact you some other time. 1529 01:00:13,374 --> 01:00:15,510 Or, or, hey, or... 1530 01:00:17,311 --> 01:00:19,014 maybe we don't come back here again. 1531 01:00:20,182 --> 01:00:23,019 That's definitely another option. 1532 01:00:23,218 --> 01:00:24,483 - I like that. - Peter! 1533 01:00:24,485 --> 01:00:25,754 - You're making a mistake here! - Mason! 1534 01:00:27,021 --> 01:00:30,558 Chris, we brought this to you and we want this to end quickly 1535 01:00:31,425 --> 01:00:32,527 and peacefully. 1536 01:00:34,229 --> 01:00:35,331 Peter, thank you. 1537 01:00:36,597 --> 01:00:38,601 Thank you for being so friggin'... 1538 01:00:39,233 --> 01:00:40,436 - reasonable. - And you just have 1539 01:00:40,635 --> 01:00:42,505 this great disposition, too. 1540 01:00:43,104 --> 01:00:45,608 Well, I got three kids, so, it's a lot of negotiating. 1541 01:00:46,240 --> 01:00:49,274 - I have two kids. - Two? Oh yeah? Boy? Girl? 1542 01:00:49,276 --> 01:00:51,347 - Two boys. - Two boys, oh, you get it. 1543 01:00:51,780 --> 01:00:53,345 - [Peter] You? - I got one daughter. 1544 01:00:53,347 --> 01:00:54,784 What do you got? What's on your ear there? 1545 01:00:55,316 --> 01:00:56,418 - What? - What is it? 1546 01:00:57,485 --> 01:00:59,184 - Oh, wait, there he goes. - [Mason] Jesus Christ. 1547 01:00:59,186 --> 01:01:01,254 Fuck, what is that? What is that, water? 1548 01:01:01,256 --> 01:01:02,124 Hello? 1549 01:01:03,057 --> 01:01:04,224 That's perilymph fluid, he's concussed. 1550 01:01:04,226 --> 01:01:06,227 Untie me right now and I'll take him to the hospital! 1551 01:01:06,461 --> 01:01:09,231 - Untie me! Right now! - We should go to the hospital. 1552 01:01:09,865 --> 01:01:11,865 [Mason] Untie me now! I gotta take him to the hospital. 1553 01:01:11,867 --> 01:01:14,399 - Ice, ice, ice. Go get some ice. - [Abbie] What's perilymph fluid? 1554 01:01:14,401 --> 01:01:16,171 Yeah, ice is really gonna help his brain injury. 1555 01:01:16,438 --> 01:01:18,771 Listen, listen to me. Now, if you untie me right now, 1556 01:01:18,773 --> 01:01:21,908 I will not beat the fucking shit out of you! 1557 01:01:21,910 --> 01:01:22,812 Shut the fuck up! 1558 01:01:24,012 --> 01:01:25,012 [Mason] You don't want a guy dying in your home, do you? 1559 01:01:25,014 --> 01:01:26,515 That's not a good look for you. It isn't. 1560 01:01:27,381 --> 01:01:28,481 Your only other option is to kill me, 1561 01:01:28,483 --> 01:01:30,586 and you don't wanna do that, do you? You don't. 1562 01:01:31,552 --> 01:01:32,821 You can't kill a man. 1563 01:01:33,722 --> 01:01:34,622 What's up? 1564 01:01:35,724 --> 01:01:36,789 - He keeps passing out. - [Kai] Okay, what do we do? 1565 01:01:36,791 --> 01:01:38,791 [Chris] I don't know, I don't know what to do. 1566 01:01:38,793 --> 01:01:40,329 [Kai] Chris, we need to call a doctor. 1567 01:01:40,528 --> 01:01:41,597 [Chris] Kai, we can't do that yet. 1568 01:01:42,798 --> 01:01:43,896 - [Alice] How's he doing? - He keeps... he keeps fluttering 1569 01:01:43,898 --> 01:01:45,767 in and out of consciousness. He's all fucked up. 1570 01:01:46,168 --> 01:01:48,200 - [Alice] Peter... - [Chris] Oh, shit! 1571 01:01:48,202 --> 01:01:49,371 [Alice] Look, look! His eyes. His eyes. 1572 01:01:50,572 --> 01:01:51,537 [Chris] There, there I saw it. They're open, right there. 1573 01:01:51,539 --> 01:01:52,805 - [Alice] Peter... Are you okay? - He's up! 1574 01:01:52,807 --> 01:01:53,809 [Chris] Hey... 1575 01:01:54,342 --> 01:01:56,544 Peter. Peter, hey! 1576 01:01:57,646 --> 01:01:59,445 [Peter] Sorry, I blacked out there for a second. 1577 01:01:59,447 --> 01:02:00,849 [Chris] Oh, Peter. 1578 01:02:02,483 --> 01:02:03,552 Peter... 1579 01:02:03,918 --> 01:02:06,354 you keep scaring us here. 1580 01:02:06,621 --> 01:02:07,622 [gasps] Oh, shit! Baby! 1581 01:02:07,923 --> 01:02:09,158 [all scream] 1582 01:02:10,092 --> 01:02:11,158 - [Peter] Mason... - Don't move, don't move. 1583 01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:13,292 How do you have a knife? How does he have a knife? 1584 01:02:13,294 --> 01:02:14,760 It's called frisking, you fucking idiot. 1585 01:02:14,762 --> 01:02:15,797 How do you not frisk him? 1586 01:02:16,831 --> 01:02:17,263 You said tie him, you didn't say frisk him! 1587 01:02:17,265 --> 01:02:18,698 [Peter] Mason... 1588 01:02:18,700 --> 01:02:19,932 Put it down, put the knife down! 1589 01:02:19,934 --> 01:02:21,633 - Put the knife down! - You put the gun down! 1590 01:02:21,635 --> 01:02:23,304 - You put the knife down! - You put the gun down! 1591 01:02:23,505 --> 01:02:24,836 - Put it down, put it down. - [Mason] Okay. 1592 01:02:24,838 --> 01:02:26,207 - Okay. - Put it down. 1593 01:02:27,508 --> 01:02:28,106 [Chris] On the count of three, you're gonna put the knife down. 1594 01:02:28,108 --> 01:02:29,374 - Okay. - [Chris] Right? 1595 01:02:29,376 --> 01:02:30,642 [both] One, two... 1596 01:02:30,644 --> 01:02:32,413 [all screaming] 1597 01:02:33,581 --> 01:02:36,251 [indistinct clamor] 1598 01:02:40,689 --> 01:02:42,421 - [Chris] He's gonna stab me! - Baby! 1599 01:02:42,423 --> 01:02:43,691 [Kai] No! 1600 01:02:44,925 --> 01:02:46,161 Oh, my God! 1601 01:02:47,796 --> 01:02:50,599 [all yelling together] 1602 01:02:51,298 --> 01:02:52,434 Fuck! 1603 01:02:53,235 --> 01:02:54,303 - [taser clicks] - [grunts] 1604 01:02:54,735 --> 01:02:56,171 Pat, what the fuck! 1605 01:02:56,438 --> 01:02:58,937 - Shit! It was an accident! - [Chris] What the fuck! 1606 01:02:58,939 --> 01:03:00,376 [Chris] Oh shit! 1607 01:03:00,608 --> 01:03:02,908 Oh, my God. It's going in! It's going in! 1608 01:03:02,910 --> 01:03:05,213 - [Abbie] What the fuck! - [Mason groans] 1609 01:03:05,447 --> 01:03:07,715 It's in me! Tase him! 1610 01:03:09,517 --> 01:03:12,388 - [Taser clicks] - [Chris screams] 1611 01:03:12,988 --> 01:03:14,787 [Abbie] Oh, my God, oh, my God... 1612 01:03:14,789 --> 01:03:16,689 - [Chris] What the fuck, Kai! - [Pat] Are you okay? 1613 01:03:16,691 --> 01:03:18,758 - I'm fine, he barely got me! - Not you, her! 1614 01:03:18,760 --> 01:03:20,359 I fucking know! 1615 01:03:20,361 --> 01:03:22,461 - You idiot! - [Pat] I didn't mean to! 1616 01:03:22,463 --> 01:03:25,298 You're so dumb and I'm just realizing it now! 1617 01:03:25,300 --> 01:03:26,401 [sobs] 1618 01:03:28,903 --> 01:03:30,706 Fucking asshole. You could have killed me! 1619 01:03:30,939 --> 01:03:33,609 That's usually the point of stabbing someone in the chest. 1620 01:03:34,675 --> 01:03:36,776 Hey, man, I don't know what happened to you in your life 1621 01:03:36,778 --> 01:03:38,280 that you ended up this way, 1622 01:03:39,481 --> 01:03:40,979 but it's people like you who have fucked the world up. 1623 01:03:40,981 --> 01:03:42,715 If it wasn't for people like me, 1624 01:03:42,717 --> 01:03:45,287 people like you would be slaves to people like me. 1625 01:03:46,053 --> 01:03:48,224 You can't even take care of your own family. Look around. 1626 01:03:49,390 --> 01:03:50,858 Look what happened in your own home. 1627 01:03:52,860 --> 01:03:55,630 You're not built for this, brother. Untie me. 1628 01:03:56,298 --> 01:03:58,330 Just end it now. End it! 1629 01:03:58,332 --> 01:04:00,066 I know, I know, I know, I'm a huge pussy 1630 01:04:00,068 --> 01:04:01,700 and you're gonna kick my ass and send me to jail. 1631 01:04:01,702 --> 01:04:04,437 - Fucking mother... - I know, shut the fuck up! 1632 01:04:04,439 --> 01:04:06,308 [Mason muffled] Fuckin' piece of shit! 1633 01:04:07,575 --> 01:04:10,246 - How you doing? - I'm not good. 1634 01:04:10,577 --> 01:04:12,480 Not really good at all. 1635 01:04:12,847 --> 01:04:14,650 - I'm so angry right now. - Mm-hmm. 1636 01:04:14,916 --> 01:04:18,454 I got tased in my own house by my brother-in-law, 1637 01:04:18,787 --> 01:04:21,387 who would've never been able to even tase me 1638 01:04:21,389 --> 01:04:23,856 because my husband bought a Taser 1639 01:04:23,858 --> 01:04:25,557 - without talking to me about it. - I know. 1640 01:04:25,559 --> 01:04:26,892 So I'm really angry and I don't know where 1641 01:04:26,894 --> 01:04:27,963 to direct this anger right now, 1642 01:04:29,164 --> 01:04:30,032 and I need you to get your motherfucking hands off of me. 1643 01:04:31,999 --> 01:04:32,967 Happy, Abbie? 1644 01:04:34,035 --> 01:04:35,934 - Was this all part of your plan? - Okay, here we go. 1645 01:04:35,936 --> 01:04:37,669 I knew you were gonna blame this on me. 1646 01:04:37,671 --> 01:04:38,738 Because you did it! 1647 01:04:38,740 --> 01:04:39,673 - It wasn't me! - It wasn't her! 1648 01:04:39,675 --> 01:04:41,310 - I gotta ask one question. - [Abbie] What? 1649 01:04:42,110 --> 01:04:43,943 Did you call this in because of what I said 1650 01:04:43,945 --> 01:04:45,713 about the Oath during Thanksgiving dinner? 1651 01:04:46,381 --> 01:04:47,616 Or was it cause I forgot your name? 1652 01:04:47,849 --> 01:04:50,682 - It wasn't me, asshole! - Fucking prick. 1653 01:04:50,684 --> 01:04:53,019 I'm gonna say this to you now, Abbie, with peace and love, 1654 01:04:53,021 --> 01:04:54,820 and in no disrespect to your gender, 1655 01:04:54,822 --> 01:04:56,555 but go fuck yourself! 1656 01:04:56,557 --> 01:04:57,724 - Go fuck yourself! - Hey man, it wasn't her! 1657 01:04:57,726 --> 01:04:59,392 - Don't fucking say that to her! - You are a fucking pig! 1658 01:04:59,394 --> 01:05:01,729 Hey! [slaps legs] A serious question! 1659 01:05:02,363 --> 01:05:03,932 - How is this helpful right now? - Alice! 1660 01:05:04,566 --> 01:05:06,568 - Enough! No more fighting! - [Alice] Yeah. 1661 01:05:06,901 --> 01:05:09,371 No, I know! I was telling them not to fight! 1662 01:05:09,671 --> 01:05:11,671 - [Chris] Yeah, Abbie! - Fuck off! 1663 01:05:11,673 --> 01:05:14,310 [Mason] Untie me, or your life is over. 1664 01:05:16,010 --> 01:05:17,412 Do you understand? 1665 01:05:18,780 --> 01:05:21,079 All right, I want you to not make any more noise. 1666 01:05:21,081 --> 01:05:22,350 [Mason] Oh, come on. Don't do that now. 1667 01:05:23,651 --> 01:05:24,184 No, no, no, I'm not gonna do anything. Don't worry about it. 1668 01:05:24,186 --> 01:05:25,017 [Mason] Oh, come on. 1669 01:05:25,019 --> 01:05:27,019 I just need you to shut the fuck up! 1670 01:05:27,021 --> 01:05:28,887 - [Mason] Fuck you, fuck you! - Fuck you, fuck you! 1671 01:05:28,889 --> 01:05:30,455 [Mason] I'll fucking kill you! 1672 01:05:30,457 --> 01:05:31,823 That's why I'm not untying you 1673 01:05:31,825 --> 01:05:33,559 because you're fucking crazy, dude! 1674 01:05:33,561 --> 01:05:34,662 - [muffled shouting] - Chris... 1675 01:05:35,764 --> 01:05:38,930 me, you, Alice. Talk in the other room. Right now. 1676 01:05:38,932 --> 01:05:39,731 I'm gonna go talk in the other room... 1677 01:05:39,733 --> 01:05:41,133 - Come on!! - I'm coming, baby. 1678 01:05:41,135 --> 01:05:43,602 Alice, we should go before she gets madder. 1679 01:05:43,604 --> 01:05:45,937 Dad, keep an eye on Peter. His ice pack keeps sliding down. 1680 01:05:45,939 --> 01:05:47,173 - Pat keep an eye on him. - What? 1681 01:05:47,175 --> 01:05:48,841 And I'm fucking watching you, Abbie! 1682 01:05:48,843 --> 01:05:51,611 - [Pat] Stop it, leave her alone! - [Abbie] Everyone hates you! 1683 01:05:51,613 --> 01:05:53,082 [Abbie] Hey, everyone hates you! 1684 01:05:54,182 --> 01:05:57,453 Hey, I wanna just one more time say, I'm... 1685 01:05:57,651 --> 01:05:59,354 I'm really sorry you got tased. 1686 01:05:59,720 --> 01:06:02,123 I do not want to discuss that right now, okay? 1687 01:06:02,689 --> 01:06:05,490 We need a plan. We need to figure out what we're gonna do 1688 01:06:05,492 --> 01:06:07,760 cause things can't get any more worse than they already are. 1689 01:06:07,762 --> 01:06:09,398 No, I think they can get worse. 1690 01:06:09,597 --> 01:06:11,129 - [Alice] It can get worse! - Where is Clark? 1691 01:06:11,131 --> 01:06:12,467 - What? - Where's Clark? 1692 01:06:13,802 --> 01:06:14,934 He's passed out. And I don't wanna bring him out here cause 1693 01:06:14,936 --> 01:06:15,669 then he's just someone else in the room panicking 1694 01:06:15,671 --> 01:06:17,439 except he's shitting everywhere. 1695 01:06:18,572 --> 01:06:19,539 - Don't bring him out. - Yo. I don't know if this 1696 01:06:19,541 --> 01:06:21,410 it's because of the electricity in my body 1697 01:06:21,608 --> 01:06:24,109 - but I am fucking freaking out! - Kai, baby, baby, 1698 01:06:24,111 --> 01:06:26,678 I'm freaking out, too. I am freaking out 1699 01:06:26,680 --> 01:06:28,780 that I live in a country where this kinda shit happens. 1700 01:06:28,782 --> 01:06:29,615 I'm gonna tell you this right now, 1701 01:06:29,617 --> 01:06:31,917 this is not the America that I know. 1702 01:06:31,919 --> 01:06:33,686 Hey, man, I do not wanna hear your take 1703 01:06:33,688 --> 01:06:35,490 on the country's politics right now! 1704 01:06:35,789 --> 01:06:37,957 The fuck you think you are? Trevor Noah or something? 1705 01:06:37,959 --> 01:06:40,526 - I know, I'm not Trevor Noah. - Thanks for the live OP-ed. 1706 01:06:40,528 --> 01:06:42,829 Okay, now is time for practical solutions. 1707 01:06:42,831 --> 01:06:45,097 Okay, what are we doing? How is this gonna end? 1708 01:06:45,099 --> 01:06:47,568 Okay, okay, okay, fine, what if... 1709 01:06:48,535 --> 01:06:50,505 I haven't thought this through yet but what if... 1710 01:06:51,639 --> 01:06:53,872 [sighs] what if Pat and I took my car 1711 01:06:53,874 --> 01:06:55,443 and drove these two guys 1712 01:06:55,677 --> 01:06:57,577 all the way up the 16 to the forest preserve 1713 01:06:57,579 --> 01:06:59,512 and we drop them deep, deep into the woods 1714 01:06:59,514 --> 01:07:00,716 and we'd leave them there? 1715 01:07:01,215 --> 01:07:03,182 And then they don't die, they survive, 1716 01:07:03,184 --> 01:07:04,584 cause they're smart guys but they have time 1717 01:07:04,586 --> 01:07:05,385 to think about what they've done. 1718 01:07:05,387 --> 01:07:07,220 Meanwhile, Pat and I come back here 1719 01:07:07,222 --> 01:07:08,857 and you've packed a bag, right? 1720 01:07:09,224 --> 01:07:10,825 And then the three of us drive down to Texas, 1721 01:07:11,124 --> 01:07:12,624 stay with your folks for a few months. 1722 01:07:12,626 --> 01:07:14,093 If the cops show up, I don't know, 1723 01:07:14,095 --> 01:07:16,195 we can go to Mexico. If we needed to? 1724 01:07:16,197 --> 01:07:17,599 Maybe we'd become Mexican Nationals. 1725 01:07:17,932 --> 01:07:19,865 I speak a little bit of Spanish. 1726 01:07:19,867 --> 01:07:22,770 I will learn more. We will teach her Spanish. 1727 01:07:23,137 --> 01:07:25,771 - How the fuck is that practical? - That is so stupid. 1728 01:07:25,773 --> 01:07:27,205 And that plan did not include me at all! 1729 01:07:27,207 --> 01:07:28,941 - Okay, okay. - What is fucking wrong with you? 1730 01:07:28,943 --> 01:07:30,912 I'm sorry! I don't know! Here's what I know. 1731 01:07:31,178 --> 01:07:33,782 I know that if we let these guys go, I... 1732 01:07:34,515 --> 01:07:38,220 we, Dad, Pat, we're in big fucking trouble. 1733 01:07:38,919 --> 01:07:41,220 People in our family will go to jail. 1734 01:07:41,222 --> 01:07:42,990 And really think about that. 1735 01:07:43,291 --> 01:07:44,957 Well, that's just something we gonna have to consider. 1736 01:07:44,959 --> 01:07:46,128 We just have to! 1737 01:07:47,028 --> 01:07:48,197 I'm gonna tell you guys this. 1738 01:07:48,829 --> 01:07:49,997 And I'm a little embarrassed. 1739 01:07:51,698 --> 01:07:53,202 I'm really scared of Mason. 1740 01:07:53,735 --> 01:07:55,267 Yeah, he's fucking nuts, okay? 1741 01:07:55,269 --> 01:07:57,537 - He's a psychopath. - But keep him tied up 1742 01:07:57,539 --> 01:07:59,171 - and deal with Peter instead. - Right. Mm-hmm. 1743 01:07:59,173 --> 01:08:01,640 - Peter seems reasonable. - Yeah, we can talk to Peter, 1744 01:08:01,642 --> 01:08:04,943 we'll get him to call in, explain the whole situation, 1745 01:08:04,945 --> 01:08:06,812 and then we can finally end this whole thing 1746 01:08:06,814 --> 01:08:08,613 without anybody getting hurt. 1747 01:08:08,615 --> 01:08:10,015 - Or, more hurt. - Okay, okay. 1748 01:08:10,017 --> 01:08:11,486 - Just... - Okay, okay. 1749 01:08:12,186 --> 01:08:15,724 - Baby, calm down. - Ow, okay. Okay. 1750 01:08:16,090 --> 01:08:17,856 You're gonna be okay. We're gonna be okay. 1751 01:08:17,858 --> 01:08:19,659 - We got this. - Okay, and another thing, 1752 01:08:19,661 --> 01:08:20,863 just let it go with Pat and Abbie. 1753 01:08:22,164 --> 01:08:23,296 I'm not saying another word to them. It's not about them. 1754 01:08:23,298 --> 01:08:25,698 - [Alice] Okay. Yeah. - It's about us. And this moment. 1755 01:08:25,700 --> 01:08:26,998 - Yes. - And doing what's right. 1756 01:08:27,000 --> 01:08:29,135 Right. And we're just gonna talk to Peter. 1757 01:08:29,137 --> 01:08:30,205 - I'm gonna talk to Peter. - [Alice] Yeah. 1758 01:08:31,339 --> 01:08:31,937 - We will talk to Peter. - Okay, and we stick together. 1759 01:08:31,939 --> 01:08:33,338 - Yes. - [Alice] Okay? 1760 01:08:33,340 --> 01:08:34,910 - Family. - Yes. 1761 01:08:35,108 --> 01:08:36,575 - Let's do this. - Let's do this 1762 01:08:36,577 --> 01:08:37,778 - Let's go. - Okay. 1763 01:08:39,179 --> 01:08:40,715 - [Mason murmurs] - [Abbie] We can't hear you. 1764 01:08:41,014 --> 01:08:43,215 - [Abbie] Stop! - Whoa! Hey, hey! What is that? 1765 01:08:43,217 --> 01:08:44,553 What did he just say? 1766 01:08:44,919 --> 01:08:45,988 I don't know. 1767 01:08:46,787 --> 01:08:47,787 What do you mean you don't know? 1768 01:08:47,789 --> 01:08:48,754 She means, she doesn't know! 1769 01:08:48,756 --> 01:08:50,323 We can't understand what he's saying! 1770 01:08:50,325 --> 01:08:52,624 Stop accusing us of canoodling with him! 1771 01:08:52,626 --> 01:08:54,060 “Colluding” is the word you're looking for. 1772 01:08:54,062 --> 01:08:55,293 I know, I meant to say colluding! 1773 01:08:55,295 --> 01:08:56,798 Stop! Stop! Stop! 1774 01:08:57,165 --> 01:08:58,000 [sighs] 1775 01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:00,001 How you doing, Peter? How you feeling, buddy? 1776 01:09:00,701 --> 01:09:02,870 - I'm okay. - Good, good. 1777 01:09:03,905 --> 01:09:05,307 We need this to end. 1778 01:09:06,607 --> 01:09:08,776 And I'm here right now asking you... 1779 01:09:09,844 --> 01:09:11,013 can we make that happen? 1780 01:09:15,349 --> 01:09:16,651 I think we can do this. 1781 01:09:17,818 --> 01:09:18,820 It's gonna be rough. 1782 01:09:19,821 --> 01:09:21,089 But if we stay calm... 1783 01:09:21,888 --> 01:09:23,057 and trust each other... 1784 01:09:23,857 --> 01:09:26,691 - we can work it out. - Oh, God. Thank you. 1785 01:09:26,693 --> 01:09:27,862 [Peter] It's gonna be rough. 1786 01:09:28,662 --> 01:09:31,633 But if we stay calm, and trust each other... 1787 01:09:32,733 --> 01:09:33,936 we can work it out. 1788 01:09:34,369 --> 01:09:36,170 He really needs to see a doctor. 1789 01:09:36,638 --> 01:09:39,805 - Did he say it twice? - You are so calm. 1790 01:09:39,807 --> 01:09:41,140 - Yeah, you're very... - You're very calm. 1791 01:09:41,142 --> 01:09:42,177 ...very, very Zen. 1792 01:09:42,376 --> 01:09:44,377 Not Zen. Goddamn it. No offense. 1793 01:09:44,379 --> 01:09:45,747 Oh, none taken. 1794 01:09:46,981 --> 01:09:48,150 But I do think... 1795 01:09:49,384 --> 01:09:51,620 I do think we're gonna have to untie Mason. 1796 01:09:52,820 --> 01:09:54,622 [Kai] Mm-mm. Mm-mm. 1797 01:09:55,223 --> 01:09:57,259 - Mm-mm - Listen, listen. Hold on. 1798 01:09:57,724 --> 01:09:58,693 Everyone be calm. 1799 01:10:01,228 --> 01:10:02,229 Is there any way... 1800 01:10:03,430 --> 01:10:05,834 that if I untie him, you can guarantee me... 1801 01:10:06,733 --> 01:10:08,736 he won't beat me up? 1802 01:10:09,737 --> 01:10:10,706 Mason... 1803 01:10:12,205 --> 01:10:14,875 will you promise not to attack Mr. Powell? 1804 01:10:15,108 --> 01:10:16,042 - [Mason] Fuck you. - Okay. 1805 01:10:16,044 --> 01:10:18,280 See, that makes me think he will attack me. 1806 01:10:18,912 --> 01:10:23,151 Mason! I need you to swear on my life... 1807 01:10:24,052 --> 01:10:27,155 that you will not attack Mr. Powell. 1808 01:10:31,759 --> 01:10:36,264 [muffled] Peter, I swear on your life. 1809 01:10:38,265 --> 01:10:39,334 Untape his mouth. 1810 01:10:41,068 --> 01:10:42,737 - It's okay, do it. - Oh, Pat. 1811 01:10:43,103 --> 01:10:44,205 Do it fast. 1812 01:10:44,906 --> 01:10:46,705 [Chris] Oh! Owie! Owie! 1813 01:10:46,707 --> 01:10:48,777 Oh, my God. Okay. 1814 01:10:51,245 --> 01:10:52,414 Cut me out of this shit. 1815 01:10:54,982 --> 01:10:56,082 Do it. 1816 01:10:56,084 --> 01:10:57,783 It took 20 minutes to put it all on. 1817 01:10:57,785 --> 01:11:00,185 - [Chris] I don't care. Do it. - Okay, all right, all right. 1818 01:11:00,187 --> 01:11:01,756 No, Pat. No! Oh, my God! 1819 01:11:02,022 --> 01:11:03,254 - This is so dumb! - [Chris hushes] 1820 01:11:03,256 --> 01:11:05,123 Everyone, everyone, everyone... 1821 01:11:05,125 --> 01:11:07,126 Baby, this isn't what we talked about! 1822 01:11:07,128 --> 01:11:08,159 [Chris hushes] It's okay, Kai, Kai. 1823 01:11:08,161 --> 01:11:09,063 [Alice] This is a really bad idea. 1824 01:11:10,031 --> 01:11:10,762 - He swore on Peter's life. - [Kai] Chris! 1825 01:11:10,764 --> 01:11:11,763 [Alice] Let's not untie him yet. 1826 01:11:11,765 --> 01:11:14,902 - [Kai] Not a good idea. - Holy shit. Holy shit. 1827 01:11:15,436 --> 01:11:16,804 It's going to be okay. 1828 01:11:24,411 --> 01:11:25,312 Gun. 1829 01:11:27,781 --> 01:11:30,248 - Not giving him the gun. - There's no negotiation... 1830 01:11:30,250 --> 01:11:32,219 - [Kai] Mm-mm. - ...with my gun in your hand. 1831 01:11:35,188 --> 01:11:37,258 Peter, I'm not giving him the gun. 1832 01:11:38,459 --> 01:11:39,795 [Peter grunts] 1833 01:11:40,228 --> 01:11:41,296 All right, let's... 1834 01:11:42,062 --> 01:11:43,030 think this through. 1835 01:11:45,433 --> 01:11:47,703 What if you gave him the gun, but you kept the bullets? 1836 01:11:49,003 --> 01:11:50,938 - That's actually a good idea. - Smart. 1837 01:11:51,438 --> 01:11:53,873 - I'm gonna give him the gun. - No, don't give him the gun. 1838 01:11:53,875 --> 01:11:56,411 - [Kai] No, you should not. - Calm down, calm down. 1839 01:11:57,311 --> 01:11:59,081 - All right, - You ready? 1840 01:12:00,013 --> 01:12:01,115 Here we go. 1841 01:12:08,321 --> 01:12:09,223 Pat. 1842 01:12:13,326 --> 01:12:15,093 [Alice] This is not what we talked about, Chris. 1843 01:12:15,095 --> 01:12:17,096 - [Chris] Calm down. - [Kai] Baby, don't do it! No! 1844 01:12:17,098 --> 01:12:18,329 Make sure you get the one in the chamber. 1845 01:12:18,331 --> 01:12:19,532 - I did. - Do you know what that means? 1846 01:12:19,534 --> 01:12:20,566 - Yeah, I know what it means. - Okay. 1847 01:12:20,568 --> 01:12:23,205 - [Kai] Oh, Jesus. - [Chris] It's okay, guys. 1848 01:12:25,272 --> 01:12:27,476 I got the bullets, baby, it's fine. It's okay. 1849 01:12:36,217 --> 01:12:37,486 [Chris] Now everyone just be... 1850 01:12:37,919 --> 01:12:40,019 - [all screaming] - [Peter] Oh, God. Mason stop! 1851 01:12:40,021 --> 01:12:41,822 - [Chris] Oh, shit! - [Peter] Mason, stop. 1852 01:12:42,322 --> 01:12:43,825 [Peter] Oh, God. Mason, stop! 1853 01:12:46,093 --> 01:12:46,827 [gunshots] 1854 01:12:50,497 --> 01:12:53,332 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. No! I'm just... 1855 01:12:53,334 --> 01:12:55,237 [screams] 1856 01:12:55,469 --> 01:12:58,439 It's my house, bitch! Told you! 1857 01:13:00,907 --> 01:13:02,307 - Is everyone okay? - [Abbie sighs] 1858 01:13:02,309 --> 01:13:03,477 [Peter] Um... 1859 01:13:05,379 --> 01:13:06,448 - Um... - Yeah. 1860 01:13:08,014 --> 01:13:09,517 - Oh, jeez. - [yelps] 1861 01:13:11,085 --> 01:13:13,188 - [Alice chocking] - Damn. 1862 01:13:13,854 --> 01:13:15,956 - [mouthing] Fuck! - [Kai] Put pressure on it... 1863 01:13:20,260 --> 01:13:22,397 Chris, can I talk to you outside for a minute? 1864 01:13:32,607 --> 01:13:33,642 Christopher, I know I've... 1865 01:13:34,875 --> 01:13:38,079 never been as close with you as your mother has... 1866 01:13:40,080 --> 01:13:41,482 but I just... 1867 01:13:44,352 --> 01:13:45,353 You see... 1868 01:13:46,053 --> 01:13:48,223 I always did whatever it took... 1869 01:13:49,557 --> 01:13:51,026 to take care of my family... 1870 01:13:51,625 --> 01:13:52,927 to protect them. 1871 01:13:56,429 --> 01:13:58,265 And now you have to do the same thing. 1872 01:14:01,936 --> 01:14:04,104 You do whatever you need to do... 1873 01:14:06,307 --> 01:14:07,275 son. 1874 01:14:21,988 --> 01:14:23,090 [Pat] Just shut up! 1875 01:14:23,924 --> 01:14:24,925 [grunts] 1876 01:14:27,327 --> 01:14:28,129 [Abbie yelps] 1877 01:14:29,330 --> 01:14:31,299 Again, there's not a lot of blood. 1878 01:14:31,933 --> 01:14:33,198 Guess I'm not much of a bleeder. 1879 01:14:33,200 --> 01:14:34,269 [chuckles] 1880 01:14:36,937 --> 01:14:37,638 How you doing, buddy? 1881 01:14:40,273 --> 01:14:42,878 It's weird. Like, it doesn't hurt right now but... 1882 01:14:43,477 --> 01:14:45,276 if I do this... [screams] Oh, God! 1883 01:14:45,278 --> 01:14:47,312 - [Peter] Oh, God! - [Alice] Okay, okay, yeah. 1884 01:14:47,314 --> 01:14:49,080 - [Chris hushes] Okay. - We have to get him to a doctor. 1885 01:14:49,082 --> 01:14:50,582 - [Alice] Right away. - We gotta go to a doctor. 1886 01:14:50,584 --> 01:14:52,351 [Pat] What the fuck are we gonna do with him? 1887 01:14:52,353 --> 01:14:54,118 Motherfucker broke my fucking nose! 1888 01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:55,620 Okay, fine. Hey, Pat! 1889 01:14:55,622 --> 01:14:56,390 [Pat] Fuck you. 1890 01:14:57,424 --> 01:14:59,123 - [Chris] Pat, stop! - [Pat] Fuck you. 1891 01:14:59,125 --> 01:15:00,592 - [Chris] Pat! - Pat, he's tied up, okay. 1892 01:15:00,594 --> 01:15:02,026 Just stop it! 1893 01:15:02,028 --> 01:15:03,365 [breathes heavily] 1894 01:15:03,964 --> 01:15:06,066 - Ah. - What's wrong? What's wrong? 1895 01:15:06,666 --> 01:15:08,600 It's just this weird sensation. 1896 01:15:08,602 --> 01:15:10,205 - Okay, but where, exactly? - [Chris] Where? 1897 01:15:11,037 --> 01:15:13,105 Um, right above my knee. 1898 01:15:13,107 --> 01:15:14,109 Okay. 1899 01:15:17,611 --> 01:15:19,511 - [all scream] - [Chris] Oh, Jesus. 1900 01:15:19,513 --> 01:15:21,448 [Alice] Oh, my God, that is so gross! It's so gross! 1901 01:15:21,648 --> 01:15:24,516 I came to get some pie... Holy fucking shit! Alice! 1902 01:15:24,518 --> 01:15:26,955 [Chris] Holy shit! Oh, God! 1903 01:15:27,321 --> 01:15:29,421 - Oh my... - [Abbie screams] 1904 01:15:29,423 --> 01:15:32,190 Go, go, go, Mom, take her! Go wash her! Go wash her! 1905 01:15:32,192 --> 01:15:34,560 - Oh, fuck! - Chris, we gotta move. 1906 01:15:34,562 --> 01:15:36,528 - Like, right now. - Okay, okay, okay. 1907 01:15:36,530 --> 01:15:38,696 I hope you had a nice Thanksgiving, 1908 01:15:38,698 --> 01:15:40,498 ‘cause it's gonna be your fucking last. 1909 01:15:40,500 --> 01:15:41,702 Shut up. Okay. 1910 01:15:42,370 --> 01:15:43,769 [Mason] I mean, if not your last, 1911 01:15:43,771 --> 01:15:45,473 probably your last together. 1912 01:15:46,473 --> 01:15:48,373 Maybe they'll keep the women together. 1913 01:15:48,375 --> 01:15:51,209 Yo man, that is enough, okay? Knock it off. 1914 01:15:51,211 --> 01:15:52,444 It's funny, do you know 1915 01:15:52,446 --> 01:15:54,381 who's gonna get raped the most in jail? 1916 01:15:55,750 --> 01:15:57,082 - Your dad. - Hey, shut up! 1917 01:15:57,084 --> 01:15:58,417 - You shut the hell up. - Relax, Dad. 1918 01:15:58,419 --> 01:16:00,284 You shut your goddamn mouth! 1919 01:16:00,286 --> 01:16:02,022 Shut the fuck up, you dirty motherfucker! 1920 01:16:02,223 --> 01:16:04,757 You shut the fuck up, you fucking cunt! 1921 01:16:04,759 --> 01:16:06,592 Hey! Motherfucker! 1922 01:16:06,594 --> 01:16:08,694 Don't you use that word 1923 01:16:08,696 --> 01:16:11,163 in my house ever again! 1924 01:16:11,165 --> 01:16:14,099 You fucking asshole! Fuck you! 1925 01:16:14,101 --> 01:16:16,101 [Chris] You don't talk to my wife like that! 1926 01:16:16,103 --> 01:16:17,368 That's my wife. I love her. 1927 01:16:17,370 --> 01:16:20,240 What the hell is going on now? Goddamn it? 1928 01:16:23,244 --> 01:16:25,644 - [Chris] Oh, Jesus! - [Abbie] Fucking sick. 1929 01:16:25,646 --> 01:16:28,282 [Mason] Happy Thanksgiving! 1930 01:16:39,059 --> 01:16:40,094 [Kai] This is it. 1931 01:16:40,795 --> 01:16:42,063 This is the moment. 1932 01:16:42,429 --> 01:16:43,497 No more talking. 1933 01:16:45,265 --> 01:16:46,300 It's over. 1934 01:16:49,335 --> 01:16:50,338 It's over. 1935 01:16:54,442 --> 01:16:55,477 I'm gonna kill him. 1936 01:16:58,545 --> 01:17:00,280 That is not what I meant. 1937 01:17:01,648 --> 01:17:04,349 We have to do this. We have to do this. 1938 01:17:04,351 --> 01:17:05,684 Look at me. Look at me. 1939 01:17:05,686 --> 01:17:07,155 - He will destroy us. - [Kai weeps] 1940 01:17:07,655 --> 01:17:09,687 - If we don't do this, - [sobbing] 1941 01:17:09,689 --> 01:17:12,091 we have no chance at a life. We have to do this. 1942 01:17:12,093 --> 01:17:13,461 - No, no, no. - Yes, we do. 1943 01:17:14,228 --> 01:17:15,296 Yes, we do. 1944 01:17:17,798 --> 01:17:20,335 Can you stop crying and tell me what you're thinking, please? 1945 01:17:20,733 --> 01:17:22,036 [Kai] I just... 1946 01:17:23,204 --> 01:17:24,837 I'm thinking, I never thought I would have to convince 1947 01:17:24,839 --> 01:17:26,637 my husband not to kill anyone. 1948 01:17:26,639 --> 01:17:28,640 We have to, okay. We have no choice. 1949 01:17:28,642 --> 01:17:29,744 We will go to prison. 1950 01:17:30,344 --> 01:17:32,714 And our little girl will be left alone 1951 01:17:33,280 --> 01:17:34,648 - and abandoned. - Chris... 1952 01:17:35,515 --> 01:17:37,149 you cannot murder that man! 1953 01:17:37,151 --> 01:17:38,249 What, are you gonna kill Peter, too? 1954 01:17:38,251 --> 01:17:40,054 And just bury them in the backyard? 1955 01:17:40,321 --> 01:17:42,354 Just gonna have dead bodies in my back yard? 1956 01:17:42,356 --> 01:17:45,660 No! I will... I will shoot them here and I'll... 1957 01:17:47,495 --> 01:17:50,131 I'll move the bodies somewhere, I don't know! 1958 01:17:57,504 --> 01:17:59,406 Listen to what you just said. 1959 01:18:03,576 --> 01:18:04,512 Chris... 1960 01:18:05,612 --> 01:18:07,346 remember when you told me 1961 01:18:07,348 --> 01:18:09,584 that we cannot let them change who we are. 1962 01:18:11,451 --> 01:18:14,289 Remember that bullshit? It's that bullshit you told me? 1963 01:18:15,156 --> 01:18:16,424 We can do this. 1964 01:18:17,357 --> 01:18:19,226 We can get through this together. 1965 01:18:20,260 --> 01:18:21,329 We'll just release them 1966 01:18:22,263 --> 01:18:25,300 and suffer whatever consequences we gotta suffer through. 1967 01:18:25,732 --> 01:18:29,137 But we can do it together. And we'll be okay. 1968 01:18:30,237 --> 01:18:32,607 Okay? We'll be... we'll be okay. 1969 01:18:33,206 --> 01:18:35,207 - We'll just do it. - I love you so much. 1970 01:18:35,209 --> 01:18:36,577 I love you, too. 1971 01:18:39,647 --> 01:18:41,282 That blood tastes nasty. 1972 01:18:41,581 --> 01:18:43,383 It's really nasty. 1973 01:18:43,750 --> 01:18:46,487 - But I still love you. - I love you so fucking much. 1974 01:18:47,787 --> 01:18:49,656 [Alice] Fuck you! Fuck you! 1975 01:18:51,224 --> 01:18:53,391 - Fucking monster! - [Hank] Alice! 1976 01:18:53,393 --> 01:18:55,560 - I don't know. - [Alice] You piece of shit! 1977 01:18:55,562 --> 01:18:57,428 - [Chris] Whoa, what the fuck? - You stupid motherfucker! 1978 01:18:57,430 --> 01:18:59,330 - [Chris] Alice, Alice... - Fuck you! You piece of shit! 1979 01:18:59,332 --> 01:19:00,335 - [Chris] Hey. No, no, no. - Fuck you! 1980 01:19:01,402 --> 01:19:02,368 - [Chris] What are you doing? - Fuck you! Fuck you! 1981 01:19:02,370 --> 01:19:04,235 - Jesus Christ. - I've had it with this guy! 1982 01:19:04,237 --> 01:19:05,671 You can't say that shit! 1983 01:19:05,673 --> 01:19:08,376 - What happened? What did he say? - [Alice] Fucking pig! 1984 01:19:10,443 --> 01:19:11,646 [Chris] What did he say? 1985 01:19:14,481 --> 01:19:16,483 He said he's gonna go after the kids. 1986 01:19:22,923 --> 01:19:24,425 Did you say that about our kids? 1987 01:19:26,826 --> 01:19:28,427 Why would you say that about our kids? 1988 01:19:28,429 --> 01:19:29,397 Are you kidding me? 1989 01:19:30,630 --> 01:19:31,932 Look at my face! 1990 01:19:34,300 --> 01:19:35,335 Look at what you did to me! 1991 01:19:37,737 --> 01:19:39,937 If I get out of here alive, I'm coming after you 1992 01:19:39,939 --> 01:19:41,241 and everyone you care for. 1993 01:19:43,509 --> 01:19:44,512 I promise. 1994 01:19:46,679 --> 01:19:48,680 That will be my mission in life 1995 01:19:48,682 --> 01:19:51,318 and I'm telling you right now, so you're not confused... 1996 01:19:52,286 --> 01:19:54,522 when your life turns into total shit. 1997 01:19:55,555 --> 01:19:56,523 [Kai] Fuck it. 1998 01:20:02,963 --> 01:20:03,831 [Pat] Whoa, whoa. 1999 01:20:04,731 --> 01:20:05,396 [Eleanor] Christopher, don't do that! 2000 01:20:05,398 --> 01:20:06,633 [Chris] Everyone calm down. 2001 01:20:07,534 --> 01:20:08,736 - You won't do it. - [Peter] Chris... 2002 01:20:09,670 --> 01:20:11,206 Chris, put the gun down, now. 2003 01:20:11,638 --> 01:20:12,803 [Eleanor] Don't do it, Chris. 2004 01:20:12,805 --> 01:20:14,472 Why did you say that about the kids, man? 2005 01:20:14,474 --> 01:20:15,943 Because fuck your kids. 2006 01:20:17,978 --> 01:20:19,380 Just do it, baby. 2007 01:20:19,580 --> 01:20:21,316 Do it. Do it. 2008 01:20:22,415 --> 01:20:23,317 [Peter] Chris... 2009 01:20:23,750 --> 01:20:25,385 put the gun down, now. 2010 01:20:25,686 --> 01:20:28,486 - Shoot him, Chris. - Just do it, baby! Kill him! 2011 01:20:28,488 --> 01:20:29,654 - [Mason] Come on! - You shouldn't have come here. 2012 01:20:29,656 --> 01:20:30,821 [Mason] Grow some balls already! 2013 01:20:30,823 --> 01:20:32,826 - [Pat] Do it. - [Hank] Do it, son. 2014 01:20:33,393 --> 01:20:35,761 - He can't do it. Accept it. - Mason, what are you doing? 2015 01:20:35,763 --> 01:20:37,432 Shut the fuck up, Peter, you fucking traitor! 2016 01:20:38,398 --> 01:20:39,631 You should not have come here, 2017 01:20:39,633 --> 01:20:41,333 you should not have come to my house, dude. 2018 01:20:41,335 --> 01:20:42,566 You shouldn't have come here... 2019 01:20:42,568 --> 01:20:44,468 - [Kai] Do it! - [Peter] Put the gun down, now. 2020 01:20:44,470 --> 01:20:46,370 - [Alice] Fucking do it. - [Peter] Put the gun down now. 2021 01:20:46,372 --> 01:20:47,806 - [Kai] Do it! - Stop listening to him. 2022 01:20:47,808 --> 01:20:49,244 - I'm gonna do it. - [Peter] Mason, stop! 2023 01:20:49,910 --> 01:20:51,579 Come on already! 2024 01:20:52,679 --> 01:20:54,913 Do it! [screaming] 2025 01:20:54,915 --> 01:20:57,382 Close your eyes! Close your fucking eyes everyone! 2026 01:20:57,384 --> 01:20:58,449 [Clark] Hey! 2027 01:20:58,451 --> 01:20:59,686 - Here it comes. - Hey! 2028 01:21:03,057 --> 01:21:03,957 Stop! 2029 01:21:05,459 --> 01:21:06,661 Stop! Turn the news on. 2030 01:21:10,897 --> 01:21:12,566 What the fuck is going on in here? 2031 01:21:14,101 --> 01:21:16,336 - Dad, turn on the news. - [Clark] Who are these guys? 2032 01:21:17,771 --> 01:21:18,872 [Chris] Hit “guide”. 2033 01:21:20,741 --> 01:21:22,908 - Hit “guide”! - Yeah, yeah, I got it. I got it. 2034 01:21:22,910 --> 01:21:24,045 [Chris] All right, "guide". 2035 01:21:26,112 --> 01:21:27,245 [Jason] Details are still trickling in, 2036 01:21:27,247 --> 01:21:29,815 but we do have confirmation from the White House 2037 01:21:29,817 --> 01:21:32,854 that the president has stepped down effective immediately... 2038 01:21:34,054 --> 01:21:36,087 We asked if there was going to be a farewell address 2039 01:21:36,089 --> 01:21:38,556 or statement of some kind, and we were told no, 2040 01:21:38,558 --> 01:21:39,693 not at this time. 2041 01:21:40,827 --> 01:21:41,763 We do know that the president and the First Lady 2042 01:21:43,196 --> 01:21:44,298 are already currently traveling to their home in South Carolina. 2043 01:21:45,465 --> 01:21:47,334 As far as other specifics go, we don't have much, 2044 01:21:47,534 --> 01:21:49,871 but we do know is that the president has stepped down, 2045 01:21:50,070 --> 01:21:53,040 and that Vice President Hogan is now President Hogan. 2046 01:21:54,073 --> 01:21:55,907 Now we take you live to the White House 2047 01:21:55,909 --> 01:21:57,609 where President Hogan addresses 2048 01:21:57,611 --> 01:21:58,912 the country for the very first time. 2049 01:22:07,420 --> 01:22:08,588 My fellow Americans. 2050 01:22:10,424 --> 01:22:12,527 At approximately seven o'clock this evening... 2051 01:22:13,626 --> 01:22:16,496 the president informed me that he would be stepping down. 2052 01:22:17,897 --> 01:22:19,032 Effective immediately. 2053 01:22:20,634 --> 01:22:22,066 Now, he assured me that he would be 2054 01:22:22,068 --> 01:22:24,004 addressing the nation in the coming days 2055 01:22:26,072 --> 01:22:28,573 and I will let him 2056 01:22:28,575 --> 01:22:30,644 discuss the reasons why for his departure. 2057 01:22:32,845 --> 01:22:34,048 But I assure you this... 2058 01:22:35,115 --> 01:22:35,983 as your acting president... 2059 01:22:38,018 --> 01:22:39,985 I will do everything I can to restore 2060 01:22:39,987 --> 01:22:41,689 peace and calm to our nation. 2061 01:22:42,688 --> 01:22:44,358 Now, the former president and I... 2062 01:22:44,625 --> 01:22:46,461 agreed on many things in the past... 2063 01:22:47,527 --> 01:22:49,727 but over the last few months we began to diverge 2064 01:22:49,729 --> 01:22:52,963 on issues that I felt fundamental 2065 01:22:52,965 --> 01:22:55,535 to the health of our republic. 2066 01:22:58,104 --> 01:22:59,139 With that being said... 2067 01:23:00,307 --> 01:23:03,475 reserves and all National Guard will be withdrawing 2068 01:23:03,477 --> 01:23:06,546 from all major cities as soon as possible. 2069 01:23:08,182 --> 01:23:10,084 I'm also suspending temporarily... 2070 01:23:11,585 --> 01:23:13,054 registration of the Patriot's Oath 2071 01:23:13,954 --> 01:23:16,087 and all operations and investigations 2072 01:23:16,089 --> 01:23:18,760 currently undertaken by the CPU. 2073 01:23:21,829 --> 01:23:23,731 Now is not the time for division... 2074 01:23:24,897 --> 01:23:26,166 we must come together. 2075 01:23:27,468 --> 01:23:28,436 So, I thank you... 2076 01:23:29,102 --> 01:23:30,171 and God bless you... 2077 01:23:31,205 --> 01:23:33,741 and God bless the United States of America. 2078 01:23:35,776 --> 01:23:37,545 [Jason] A stunning development. 2079 01:23:37,744 --> 01:23:39,511 Certainly one that we knew was possible, 2080 01:23:39,513 --> 01:23:41,048 but didn't see coming at this moment. 2081 01:23:42,148 --> 01:23:43,949 We are gonna be bringing in Keith Baiers 2082 01:23:43,951 --> 01:23:45,917 on this historic night, and we're gonna hear 2083 01:23:45,919 --> 01:23:47,755 from Glenn Baker and Amy Moses. 2084 01:23:47,987 --> 01:23:49,820 But right now we are going to go live 2085 01:23:49,822 --> 01:23:52,490 to our very own Paul Bakeman, who is at the White House... 2086 01:23:52,492 --> 01:23:53,760 - [Kai] Baby, what... - [all screaming] 2087 01:23:57,497 --> 01:23:58,499 [Pat sighs] 2088 01:23:59,832 --> 01:24:00,968 How you feeling, Peter? 2089 01:24:02,068 --> 01:24:03,170 Hard to say. 2090 01:24:04,371 --> 01:24:06,006 'Cause I'm definitely in shock at the moment. But... 2091 01:24:07,875 --> 01:24:10,511 - I actually don't feel a... - [Chris] Oh, easy on the bumps. 2092 01:24:12,179 --> 01:24:13,979 tremendous amount of pain, no. 2093 01:24:13,981 --> 01:24:15,183 You got a good attitude, man. 2094 01:24:16,284 --> 01:24:17,882 [Chris] Pat, you gotta watch those speed bumps, dude. 2095 01:24:17,884 --> 01:24:19,251 I mean, what do you want me to do? 2096 01:24:19,253 --> 01:24:20,220 Just, just... 2097 01:24:21,921 --> 01:24:22,889 Mason. 2098 01:24:25,259 --> 01:24:27,092 [exhales] Mason, I'm gonna talk for a second. 2099 01:24:27,094 --> 01:24:28,592 And I don't need you to say anything, 2100 01:24:28,594 --> 01:24:29,930 but I need you to hear me, okay? 2101 01:24:30,897 --> 01:24:32,199 I would give everything I have... 2102 01:24:34,000 --> 01:24:35,535 to erase what happened today... 2103 01:24:36,937 --> 01:24:37,872 but I can't. 2104 01:24:38,671 --> 01:24:40,040 And you and I, Mason... 2105 01:24:41,541 --> 01:24:42,876 we have different I... 2106 01:24:44,745 --> 01:24:46,778 different ideas of how this country should work. 2107 01:24:46,780 --> 01:24:48,145 Pat, you gotta watch the speed bumps. 2108 01:24:48,147 --> 01:24:49,314 I don't know what that means, Chris. 2109 01:24:49,316 --> 01:24:50,715 Like, watch them, how? 2110 01:24:50,717 --> 01:24:52,117 Just don't take them so fast, please. 2111 01:24:52,119 --> 01:24:54,052 I'm not taking them fast, I'm under five. 2112 01:24:54,054 --> 01:24:55,654 Can you pull around? 2113 01:24:55,656 --> 01:24:58,092 No, they take up the entire width of the road! 2114 01:24:59,125 --> 01:25:00,026 Mason... 2115 01:25:00,927 --> 01:25:02,763 I think we can go our separate ways... 2116 01:25:03,696 --> 01:25:04,828 and go back to our lives 2117 01:25:04,830 --> 01:25:06,196 and never run into each other again. 2118 01:25:06,198 --> 01:25:07,668 What do you think about that, Mason? 2119 01:25:09,902 --> 01:25:11,071 Mason, can we do that? 2120 01:25:15,041 --> 01:25:16,941 Do I have to worry about this fucking maniac 2121 01:25:16,943 --> 01:25:18,879 coming after me and my family for the rest of my life? 2122 01:25:20,147 --> 01:25:21,148 I don't think so. 2123 01:25:23,349 --> 01:25:25,583 We shouldn't have been at your house in the first place. 2124 01:25:25,585 --> 01:25:27,554 - Yeah. - [Peter] He was suspended. 2125 01:25:31,625 --> 01:25:33,224 - What? - [Peter] A few months back, 2126 01:25:33,226 --> 01:25:35,763 he hit a suspect so hard, he busted his ear drum. 2127 01:25:37,363 --> 01:25:38,866 He's got anger issues. 2128 01:25:40,000 --> 01:25:42,003 That's why he was thrown off the police force. 2129 01:25:43,236 --> 01:25:45,573 And fired from Steamfield Mall security. 2130 01:25:46,205 --> 01:25:47,842 Wait, Mason... 2131 01:25:48,942 --> 01:25:50,811 are you a fucking mall security guard? 2132 01:25:52,245 --> 01:25:53,377 I thought he was like special forces. 2133 01:25:53,379 --> 01:25:55,346 I thought he was one of the guys that killed Bin Laden. 2134 01:25:55,348 --> 01:25:56,784 He's fucking Paul Blart? 2135 01:25:58,352 --> 01:25:59,653 You need help. 2136 01:26:00,219 --> 01:26:01,588 Mason. Get help. 2137 01:26:02,356 --> 01:26:03,724 Go see doctors! 2138 01:26:05,692 --> 01:26:07,292 Fuckin' Jesus Christ. 2139 01:26:07,294 --> 01:26:09,597 Peter, I'm sorry. I'm sorry you got... 2140 01:26:10,630 --> 01:26:12,329 hit and I'm sorry you got shot. 2141 01:26:12,331 --> 01:26:14,168 And you know what, I'm sorry for everything. 2142 01:26:15,802 --> 01:26:16,938 [Peter] I'll be okay. 2143 01:26:18,405 --> 01:26:19,874 Everyone will be okay. 2144 01:26:21,907 --> 01:26:23,675 I'm so cold. 2145 01:26:23,677 --> 01:26:25,709 Oh, I got the A/C on, sorry. 2146 01:26:25,711 --> 01:26:27,781 [Chris] Pat turn it off, please? 2147 01:26:32,786 --> 01:26:34,155 [Chris] Unlock the door. 2148 01:26:39,826 --> 01:26:41,426 [talking indistinctly] 2149 01:26:41,428 --> 01:26:44,198 Careful, careful, careful. Pat, help him up. 2150 01:26:49,870 --> 01:26:51,805 [Chris] Careful, careful. Easy, easy, easy. 2151 01:26:52,205 --> 01:26:53,240 [Peter grunts] 2152 01:26:55,075 --> 01:26:56,376 - You good? - [grunts] 2153 01:27:05,218 --> 01:27:06,320 [police siren blaring] 2154 01:27:09,689 --> 01:27:12,222 All right. Can you put it back in? 2155 01:27:12,224 --> 01:27:13,259 Yeah... 2156 01:27:14,260 --> 01:27:15,327 [Mason] Thank you. 2157 01:27:19,198 --> 01:27:20,668 You have a lovely family. 2158 01:27:21,101 --> 01:27:22,202 [Chris] Thank you. 2159 01:27:23,737 --> 01:27:25,106 All right, let's go. 2160 01:27:26,872 --> 01:27:28,009 Do you wanna know who it was? 2161 01:27:37,416 --> 01:27:38,352 Nah. 2162 01:27:42,755 --> 01:27:44,724 [man speaking over radio] 2163 01:27:50,796 --> 01:27:51,765 [Peter grunts] 2164 01:29:37,136 --> 01:29:42,136 Subtitles by explosiveskull 168119