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1
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Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
2
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[café sounds]
3
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I cannot believe that you're gonna eat
two glazed donuts.
4
00:00:26,318 --> 00:00:28,111
What's it gonna do? Shorten my life?
5
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Bon appétit.
6
00:00:31,740 --> 00:00:33,700
You know there’s a hood
on the back of your shirt?
7
00:00:34,368 --> 00:00:35,410
It’s the fashion now.
8
00:00:36,078 --> 00:00:37,579
Yeah, if you’re the Unabomber.
9
00:00:38,539 --> 00:00:42,543
Hey, you remember that friend of Eileen's
who came to the funeral, Dianne?
10
00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:44,211
The redhead, yeah.
11
00:00:44,836 --> 00:00:46,046
She's been e-mailing me.
12
00:00:46,672 --> 00:00:47,923
- Really?
- Yeah.
13
00:00:48,006 --> 00:00:49,299
Sends me pictures.
14
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:51,927
What kind of pictures?
15
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,763
You should see them.
She's got a bird feeder in her backyard.
16
00:00:54,846 --> 00:00:57,015
There's been hummingbirds, a robin,
17
00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,726
and once, a goldfinch chasing away a crow.
18
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That slut!
19
00:01:01,728 --> 00:01:02,728
So, what about her?
20
00:01:03,021 --> 00:01:04,341
She wants to have dinner with me.
21
00:01:04,856 --> 00:01:07,276
That's nice.
Does she like to eat at five o'clock?
22
00:01:07,359 --> 00:01:09,403
Doesn't matter.
I can't have dinner with her.
23
00:01:09,820 --> 00:01:10,820
Why not?
24
00:01:11,238 --> 00:01:13,824
My wife just passed away.
What would that say about me?
25
00:01:13,907 --> 00:01:15,492
Why do you care what it says about you?
26
00:01:15,576 --> 00:01:18,996
It's disrespectful to the memory
of Eileen. I could never do that.
27
00:01:19,454 --> 00:01:21,873
[clears throat]
I hate that I'm about to say this, but...
28
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:24,376
have you discussed this with Eileen?
29
00:01:24,459 --> 00:01:26,962
No, I've been putting it off,
and I'm not crazy.
30
00:01:27,713 --> 00:01:28,755
It gives me comfort.
31
00:01:28,839 --> 00:01:30,674
I'm not calling you crazy.
32
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Have you considered doing
something less formal with this Dianne,
33
00:01:38,348 --> 00:01:39,683
like, uh, maybe lunch?
34
00:01:39,766 --> 00:01:41,268
Oh, that's very good.
35
00:01:41,351 --> 00:01:43,770
Lunch is safe.
Nobody gets frisky after lunch.
36
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At your age, nobody gets frisky.
37
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True dat!
38
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See? I keep up.
39
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:03,289
Nope.
40
00:02:04,249 --> 00:02:05,250
I can't do it.
41
00:02:05,334 --> 00:02:06,627
Oh, sure you can.
42
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:09,880
No. You've only been gone a month.
It's... it's not right.
43
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:13,050
Why? You've had lunch with ladies before.
44
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Yeah, but there were no overtones.
This meal is riddled with overtones.
45
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Oh, darling, she's just lonely.
46
00:02:20,223 --> 00:02:22,434
Bill died, what, ten, 12 years ago?
47
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Really? Has it been that long?
48
00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:25,354
Mm-hm.
49
00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,023
I wonder if she visits with him
like we do.
50
00:02:28,106 --> 00:02:31,360
Well, maybe that's something
you can discuss over lunch.
51
00:02:32,235 --> 00:02:34,613
You are being
very mature about this, Eileen.
52
00:02:35,072 --> 00:02:37,908
I'm sure you'd feel the same
if the roles were reversed,
53
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:39,868
if you were gone and I was alive.
54
00:02:39,951 --> 00:02:41,495
No. That’s where you're wrong.
55
00:02:41,578 --> 00:02:44,581
If some guy was sniffing around you,
I would haunt the hell out of him.
56
00:02:44,665 --> 00:02:46,750
There would be cutlery
flying around his kitchen.
57
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:47,668
[laughing]
58
00:02:47,751 --> 00:02:50,796
Yes. One morning he'd be...
he'd be shaving in the bathroom mirror
59
00:02:50,879 --> 00:02:53,090
and he'd look up and see me
standing right behind him,
60
00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:54,758
just staring at him like this...
61
00:02:54,883 --> 00:02:55,884
[laughing]
62
00:02:55,967 --> 00:02:59,012
He would soil his pajamas, guaranteed.
63
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:00,722
[chuckles]
64
00:03:00,847 --> 00:03:01,847
[sniffs]
65
00:03:03,725 --> 00:03:05,644
[Sandy] All right. This next exercise
66
00:03:05,727 --> 00:03:09,606
is gonna feel a little flaky,
maybe a little uncomfortable,
67
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:13,694
but it may be the most important thing
that I ever show you.
68
00:03:14,319 --> 00:03:16,988
So why don't we start
by everybody finding a partner?
69
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,116
- Try Margaret.
- Understood.
70
00:03:19,950 --> 00:03:21,243
Do you mind helping me?
71
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:22,326
Sure.
72
00:03:24,037 --> 00:03:26,206
The name of this exercise is "mirror."
73
00:03:27,124 --> 00:03:28,291
[clears throat]
74
00:03:29,042 --> 00:03:32,087
You just move your body, and I'll follow.
75
00:03:32,754 --> 00:03:33,754
Okay.
76
00:03:36,425 --> 00:03:38,218
What we're working on here
77
00:03:38,301 --> 00:03:40,554
is being totally present.
78
00:03:41,638 --> 00:03:45,100
This means paying attention,
without judgment,
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00:03:45,934 --> 00:03:48,145
to the actor in front of you.
80
00:03:51,481 --> 00:03:53,483
[Lisa] Hm.
81
00:03:53,775 --> 00:03:54,860
Amp it up a little bit.
82
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:55,943
Okay.
83
00:03:56,445 --> 00:03:57,445
Hm.
84
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,783
This does two things.
85
00:04:01,867 --> 00:04:04,077
It gets you out of your own head...
86
00:04:05,120 --> 00:04:06,496
and forces you...
87
00:04:07,456 --> 00:04:09,124
to be in the moment.
88
00:04:10,375 --> 00:04:13,628
Fully engaged with the other person...
89
00:04:14,796 --> 00:04:18,550
by simply paying attention to them.
90
00:04:19,551 --> 00:04:21,678
Not only makes you a better actor,
91
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,473
it makes you a better human being.
92
00:04:25,640 --> 00:04:26,640
Okay?
93
00:04:27,184 --> 00:04:29,227
So, everybody,
why don’t you give it a shot?
94
00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:39,780
Do you think they're doin' it?
95
00:04:42,282 --> 00:04:44,910
Maybe. My grandpa still gets boners.
96
00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:47,621
Do you think
people know we're doin' it?
97
00:04:47,704 --> 00:04:48,955
[whispers] Yes!
98
00:04:57,589 --> 00:04:58,799
Welcome back, sir.
99
00:04:59,216 --> 00:05:00,217
Thank you, Alex.
100
00:05:00,300 --> 00:05:01,885
No, thank you.
101
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:03,427
[chuckles]
102
00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:07,098
He seems very happy to see you.
103
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:09,893
I may have set a bad precedent
with my last tip.
104
00:05:09,976 --> 00:05:11,645
[laughing]
105
00:05:12,938 --> 00:05:14,022
So, uh...
106
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:17,108
Bill's dead ten, 12 years now, right?
107
00:05:18,443 --> 00:05:21,321
It'll be 11 years in March.
108
00:05:22,239 --> 00:05:23,532
Do you visit him much?
109
00:05:24,074 --> 00:05:27,619
Every year on his birthday,
I put flowers on his grave.
110
00:05:28,411 --> 00:05:31,289
That's nice. I...
I visit Eileen two or three times a week.
111
00:05:31,373 --> 00:05:33,500
You go to the cemetery that often?
112
00:05:34,251 --> 00:05:36,294
No, sometimes we're in the kitchen.
113
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,295
Ah.
114
00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,467
Let me ask you a question.
115
00:05:44,511 --> 00:05:46,596
After Bill died, did you find yourself
116
00:05:46,680 --> 00:05:49,224
being unusually
short-tempered with people?
117
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,309
That’s happening to you?
118
00:05:52,310 --> 00:05:55,772
I have no patience with anyone.
I... I've become very brittle.
119
00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:59,734
I think that's just your way
of processing grief.
120
00:06:00,277 --> 00:06:01,528
But did it happen to you?
121
00:06:01,611 --> 00:06:03,238
- No. No.
- Hm.
122
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:05,073
If anything,
123
00:06:05,615 --> 00:06:08,493
- losing Bill made me softer...
- Hmm.
124
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,620
and maybe a little more compassionate.
125
00:06:11,037 --> 00:06:12,622
Well, aren't you a lucky duck?
126
00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,333
See? Uh...
127
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:16,293
Brittle.
128
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:18,295
[sighs] Norman,
129
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:22,632
sometimes our hearts have to be broken
130
00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:26,428
so that love can come back in
through the cracks.
131
00:06:27,262 --> 00:06:28,638
Did you just think of that?
132
00:06:29,639 --> 00:06:31,141
I guess so, yeah.
133
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:32,767
You should write for Hallmark.
134
00:06:32,851 --> 00:06:35,020
They go for that treacly kind of bullshit.
135
00:06:36,980 --> 00:06:39,232
Sorry. I can't help myself.
136
00:06:43,069 --> 00:06:44,195
[beeping]
137
00:06:47,699 --> 00:06:48,699
[Sandy] Hello?
138
00:06:48,825 --> 00:06:50,452
Well, I did it.
139
00:06:51,328 --> 00:06:52,913
I had lunch with another woman.
140
00:06:52,996 --> 00:06:54,372
Oh, you dog!
141
00:06:54,831 --> 00:06:56,166
What did you guys talk about?
142
00:06:56,249 --> 00:06:58,501
Oh, you know, the usual.
143
00:06:58,877 --> 00:07:02,422
Dead wives, dead husbands, dead friends.
144
00:07:02,756 --> 00:07:04,215
It was very pleasant.
145
00:07:04,299 --> 00:07:05,717
Sounds like it.
146
00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:08,178
I was a little disconcerted
by the way she ate.
147
00:07:08,845 --> 00:07:09,971
The way she ate?
148
00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:13,725
Yeah. It was too thought out,
too methodical.
149
00:07:13,808 --> 00:07:17,312
She started with her vegetables,
she went on to the scalloped potatoes,
150
00:07:17,395 --> 00:07:20,148
and then when there was
nothing else left on the plate,
151
00:07:20,231 --> 00:07:21,900
she devoured her fish.
152
00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:23,860
And this troubles you?
153
00:07:23,944 --> 00:07:27,113
It speaks to a...
calculating type of mind.
154
00:07:27,197 --> 00:07:30,450
You know, like the Germans' strategic
advance through Poland,
155
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:32,535
then Belgium, then France.
156
00:07:32,619 --> 00:07:35,664
So the nice widow lady ate like a Nazi?
157
00:07:36,414 --> 00:07:38,083
- I'm afraid so.
- [cell phone chiming]
158
00:07:38,166 --> 00:07:39,668
Wait. I'm getting a text message.
159
00:07:39,751 --> 00:07:41,962
- I'll call you back.
- You don't have to hang up to...
160
00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:45,548
[sighing]
161
00:07:47,842 --> 00:07:49,844
[cell phone vibrating]
162
00:07:53,348 --> 00:07:55,725
So, what did the axis of evil
have for dessert?
163
00:07:55,809 --> 00:07:56,809
What?
164
00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:59,229
Never mind. Who texted you?
165
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:01,856
Oh, Dianne. I've got a big problem.
166
00:08:01,940 --> 00:08:04,943
She's going to that Parkinson's fundraiser
next Thursday,
167
00:08:05,235 --> 00:08:07,779
and, I quote, "hoped to see me there."
168
00:08:08,530 --> 00:08:11,032
- So?
- So it's one of Eileen's charities.
169
00:08:11,116 --> 00:08:12,534
I... I was planning on attending.
170
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,077
So?
171
00:08:14,160 --> 00:08:15,996
- [chiming]
- Hang on. Another text.
172
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:17,539
Norman, you can...
173
00:08:17,622 --> 00:08:18,832
[sighs]
174
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:21,626
[grunts]
175
00:08:23,044 --> 00:08:26,089
[cell phone vibrating]
176
00:08:27,215 --> 00:08:29,342
- Yeah.
- Oh, it's getting worse.
177
00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:31,386
She wants to know
if it's okay if we sit together.
178
00:08:31,469 --> 00:08:32,971
Boy, she moves fast.
179
00:08:33,346 --> 00:08:34,639
You'd better bring a condom.
180
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:36,558
You're making a joke,
181
00:08:36,641 --> 00:08:39,769
but I actually still have one
the Army gave me when I was in Korea.
182
00:08:40,437 --> 00:08:41,354
You're kidding me.
183
00:08:41,438 --> 00:08:42,647
I'm sentimental.
184
00:08:42,731 --> 00:08:45,150
- [chuckles]
- Okay, here's what we'll do.
185
00:08:45,233 --> 00:08:48,695
You'll come to the dinner as my plus one
and act as a buffer.
186
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,197
[chuckling] Oh, yeah.
Uh, I don't think so.
187
00:08:51,281 --> 00:08:53,450
$307,000!
188
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:55,577
[sighs] You fuck.
189
00:08:55,994 --> 00:08:56,995
So, what do you say?
190
00:08:58,121 --> 00:08:59,664
Well, does this mean we're even?
191
00:09:00,081 --> 00:09:03,084
Yeah, if you bring $307,000 with you.
192
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,045
How about I bring a date?
193
00:09:05,462 --> 00:09:07,464
I thought Lisa gave you the old heave-ho.
194
00:09:08,131 --> 00:09:11,968
I thought so, too, but it turns out
I'm back in her good graces.
195
00:09:12,052 --> 00:09:14,220
A-ha. The old ho-heave.
196
00:09:14,846 --> 00:09:15,846
Well, that's good news.
197
00:09:15,889 --> 00:09:18,558
You should have at least one thing
in your life that's working out.
198
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:23,146
You know, you've gotten to be
a very mean-spirited old man.
199
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:26,191
Well, thank you.
I was just saying that to Dianne.
200
00:09:26,274 --> 00:09:27,108
[chiming]
201
00:09:27,192 --> 00:09:28,443
Uh-oh. Another text.
202
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:30,736
[grumbles]
203
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:35,533
[sighs]
204
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:38,620
[cell phone vibrating]
205
00:09:38,745 --> 00:09:39,746
That's enough.
206
00:09:52,300 --> 00:09:53,760
Pretty swanky, huh?
207
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:55,260
Yeah.
208
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:58,786
You realize this is the first time
you've brought me somewhere
209
00:09:58,848 --> 00:10:00,266
that didn't have a dead body.
210
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:02,268
- The night is still young.
- [laughs]
211
00:10:04,229 --> 00:10:05,230
There he is.
212
00:10:08,274 --> 00:10:10,527
He looks like a well-dressed thumb.
213
00:10:11,528 --> 00:10:13,988
Doesn't seem like
he needs you to buffer anything.
214
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:16,741
- Mm. He does seem happy.
- Hm.
215
00:10:16,825 --> 00:10:17,951
Something's wrong.
216
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:22,288
So this musician calls up Buddy Rich's
house and he says, "Can I speak to Buddy?"
217
00:10:22,372 --> 00:10:23,706
And Buddy's wife says,
218
00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:26,876
"Oh, I'm so sorry. Buddy passed away."
219
00:10:27,127 --> 00:10:29,003
Musician says, "Oh, I didn't realize.
220
00:10:29,087 --> 00:10:30,672
Uh... My condolences."
221
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,842
Next day, he calls again.
He says, "Can I talk to Buddy?"
222
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:37,262
His wife says,
"I already told you, Buddy's dead."
223
00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,556
Musician says, "Oh, right. Sorry."
224
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:42,851
The next day, he calls again.
"Can I speak to Buddy?"
225
00:10:42,934 --> 00:10:46,855
Wife says, "I have told you
over and over again, Buddy's dead!"
226
00:10:46,938 --> 00:10:50,692
Musician says,
"I know. I just... I love to hear it!"
227
00:10:50,775 --> 00:10:52,152
[laughing]
228
00:10:53,194 --> 00:10:55,405
It's Buddy Rich.
He was a famous jazz drummer.
229
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:57,657
He wasn’t a very pleasant man.
230
00:10:58,700 --> 00:11:00,451
Google it. You’ll see I'm not lying.
231
00:11:01,786 --> 00:11:03,413
Norman, you remember Lisa?
232
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:06,833
- Hello. This is Dianne.
- Nice to see you again, Dianne.
233
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,918
Oh, have we met?
234
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,753
Yeah, we met at the, uh, funeral.
235
00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,338
Uh, it’s not important.
236
00:11:12,422 --> 00:11:16,384
- This is... Wow, what a lovely event.
- Yeah, we got a very nice turnout.
237
00:11:16,885 --> 00:11:19,888
Well, this charity wouldn't exist
if it wasn't for Eileen.
238
00:11:21,639 --> 00:11:22,639
Thank you.
239
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:27,187
It's true. She started raising money
for Parkinson's years ago.
240
00:11:27,270 --> 00:11:30,356
Long before
Michael J. Fox made it fashionable.
241
00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,774
[chuckles]
242
00:11:32,066 --> 00:11:34,736
Uh, she... she was one of a kind.
243
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,236
A saint.
244
00:11:37,322 --> 00:11:39,532
God takes the good ones way too soon.
245
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:42,493
Yeah, and he leaves the bad ones here
just to piss us off.
246
00:11:43,161 --> 00:11:44,161
Skål!
247
00:11:44,871 --> 00:11:46,497
Uh, that's your third drink.
248
00:11:46,581 --> 00:11:49,042
- Maybe you should slow down.
- Yes, dear.
249
00:11:51,836 --> 00:11:54,130
I mean... okay.
250
00:11:58,843 --> 00:12:00,678
I'm gonna go check out
the silent auction.
251
00:12:00,762 --> 00:12:02,138
Ah, excuse us.
252
00:12:03,848 --> 00:12:07,435
You know, that crazy bastard's
got a condom from 1951.
253
00:12:08,019 --> 00:12:09,019
Why?
254
00:12:09,687 --> 00:12:11,527
'Cause he doesn’t
want to get anybody pregnant.
255
00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:27,038
You see KC and The Sunshine Band
are performing after dinner?
256
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:28,581
That’s nice.
257
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,959
[Lisa]
Hope they don't play "Shake Your Booty."
258
00:12:31,042 --> 00:12:33,836
Might be in bad taste
at a Parkinson's dinner.
259
00:12:34,087 --> 00:12:35,213
Mm-hm.
260
00:12:40,510 --> 00:12:41,510
What are you doing?
261
00:12:42,929 --> 00:12:44,514
Watching Dianne eat.
262
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:47,267
[grunts]
263
00:12:50,728 --> 00:12:53,022
You haven't touched your food.
Are you okay?
264
00:12:53,523 --> 00:12:55,483
Yeah, I'm just not very hungry.
265
00:12:56,276 --> 00:12:57,360
Oh.
266
00:12:58,903 --> 00:13:00,113
You should have something.
267
00:13:00,738 --> 00:13:04,200
You know, to... to coat your stomach
from all that alcohol.
268
00:13:05,201 --> 00:13:06,953
Are you gonna cut up my meat for me?
269
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,456
Or are you going to attack the Brussels
sprouts and the potatoes first?
270
00:13:11,165 --> 00:13:13,293
I’m just trying to be helpful.
271
00:13:13,376 --> 00:13:14,711
Well, I'm a grown man.
272
00:13:14,794 --> 00:13:18,047
- I can eat my food without any assistance.
- I know that.
273
00:13:18,715 --> 00:13:21,259
Do you?
'Cause you're treating me like a child,
274
00:13:21,342 --> 00:13:24,095
and there's only one woman
who's allowed to treat me like a child.
275
00:13:24,178 --> 00:13:27,098
And you can't replace her.
She's not a snow tire.
276
00:13:27,557 --> 00:13:30,143
Norman, buddy. Take it easy.
277
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,186
You stay out of this. It’s all your fault!
278
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:33,603
What did I do?
279
00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:38,151
When I told you that this one
was hot to trot, you encouraged it!
280
00:13:39,110 --> 00:13:40,653
Hot to trot?
281
00:13:43,072 --> 00:13:47,285
I thought you were a nice man,
and I felt sorry for you!
282
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,292
I'll... I'll go with her.
283
00:13:57,795 --> 00:13:58,629
[scoffs]
284
00:13:58,713 --> 00:14:00,673
Don't look at me, pal, all right?
285
00:14:01,132 --> 00:14:02,550
I'm done with you.
286
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:10,099
[gargling]
287
00:14:14,687 --> 00:14:16,022
- [growls]
- Oh, Jesus!
288
00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,774
You're right, it's fun.
289
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:19,359
I'm in no mood, Eileen.
290
00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:22,960
First thing in the morning,
you have to call Dianne and apologize.
291
00:14:23,321 --> 00:14:25,406
For what? I was defending your memory.
292
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:27,530
[woman] You never went to any trouble
for my memory.
293
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:28,701
Ma?
294
00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:31,496
Oh, I don't blame you, darling.
I blame this one.
295
00:14:31,579 --> 00:14:33,373
Shirley, do me a favor, stay out of it.
296
00:14:33,456 --> 00:14:35,375
I stayed out of it,
and look what happened.
297
00:14:35,458 --> 00:14:37,627
You turned
him into your personal footstool.
298
00:14:37,710 --> 00:14:40,505
He was emasculated long before I got him.
299
00:14:40,588 --> 00:14:44,842
[speaking Yiddish]
Take your hands out of your pants!
300
00:14:45,885 --> 00:14:46,719
Grandma?
301
00:14:46,803 --> 00:14:51,057
[speaking Yiddish] What did I tell
you about touching your penis?
302
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:54,644
You wanna know why he's a mess?
Right there. Weekends and holidays.
303
00:14:54,727 --> 00:14:56,727
- God only knows what went on at her house.
- Okay.
304
00:14:56,771 --> 00:14:58,999
- Everybody needs to stop talking!
- And why was he there?
305
00:14:59,023 --> 00:15:01,651
Because you were out all night
having a grand old time!
306
00:15:01,734 --> 00:15:02,568
Enough!
307
00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,862
I was a young widow.
I deserved to have a life!
308
00:15:04,946 --> 00:15:07,448
[speaking Yiddish]
Schtupping Italian boys? Some life!
309
00:15:07,532 --> 00:15:08,532
Stop!
310
00:15:09,158 --> 00:15:10,618
[Eileen] Here’s what’s gonna happen.
311
00:15:10,701 --> 00:15:14,414
You go back to Minsk,
and you go back to Delancey Street.
312
00:15:14,497 --> 00:15:15,497
Be quiet!
313
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:17,417
[voices overlapping]
314
00:15:17,542 --> 00:15:19,335
[Shirley] I deserve to have a life!
315
00:15:19,419 --> 00:15:21,671
You turned him into
your personal footstool.
316
00:15:21,754 --> 00:15:22,588
I blame this one!
317
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,590
[Rose] Schtupping Italian boys?
318
00:15:25,133 --> 00:15:27,009
[Shirley]
You want to know why he's a mess?
319
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,222
Hey, Lisa, can we talk about something?
320
00:15:31,806 --> 00:15:33,558
Uh-oh. Sounds ominous.
321
00:15:33,641 --> 00:15:37,520
It's just I've got this ethical dilemma
I need your help with.
322
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:38,938
Okay. Mm?
323
00:15:41,149 --> 00:15:44,485
You know, I've always had
this strict policy about dating students.
324
00:15:44,569 --> 00:15:45,569
Mm.
325
00:15:45,736 --> 00:15:50,450
And I really thought you asking me out
somehow made it okay to break that rule.
326
00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:53,286
Hm. Now you're having second thoughts?
327
00:15:53,661 --> 00:15:55,121
[sighs] Well...
328
00:15:55,204 --> 00:15:56,664
After you just had sex with me?
329
00:15:57,165 --> 00:15:59,292
- I realize my timing is not ideal.
- Ugh.
330
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:03,045
But it's just that the other students
are starting to talk...
331
00:16:03,963 --> 00:16:06,132
and it's becoming a problem.
332
00:16:06,215 --> 00:16:07,383
I can see that.
333
00:16:08,342 --> 00:16:10,011
So, what do you think we should do?
334
00:16:10,428 --> 00:16:11,428
[sighs]
335
00:16:11,554 --> 00:16:13,931
- I think we've gotta make a choice.
- Hm.
336
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:19,020
I can't be both your teacher and your...
337
00:16:20,062 --> 00:16:21,314
Oh, just say it.
338
00:16:21,689 --> 00:16:23,191
- Your lover.
- [groans]
339
00:16:23,816 --> 00:16:24,816
[laughs]
340
00:16:25,067 --> 00:16:28,154
So, is this your choice or mine?
341
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:30,990
Well, it's both.
I think it’s both our choice. Yeah.
342
00:16:31,073 --> 00:16:33,409
Of course, I can't stop teaching.
343
00:16:34,076 --> 00:16:35,912
Okay. [chuckles]
344
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,915
Well, I don't wanna make
you uncomfortable,
345
00:16:39,373 --> 00:16:43,544
so I am just going to choose
to be your student.
346
00:16:45,421 --> 00:16:46,464
- Oh.
- Yeah.
347
00:16:46,547 --> 00:16:48,692
- I mean, it's a no-brainer, really. Yeah.
- Okay. Yeah.
348
00:16:48,716 --> 00:16:54,263
Uh, you know,
‘cause you are a really good acting coach.
349
00:16:55,556 --> 00:16:56,724
- Thank you.
- Yeah.
350
00:16:57,141 --> 00:16:58,601
Best I ever had.
351
00:17:02,063 --> 00:17:05,107
But...
What about, you know, all of this, um...
352
00:17:05,608 --> 00:17:07,109
this here?
353
00:17:08,277 --> 00:17:09,529
Uh... Oh, it’s fine.
354
00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:13,199
Just...
you're a really good acting teacher.
355
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,745
[door closes]
356
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:19,664
Okay. All right.
357
00:17:19,956 --> 00:17:21,415
Well, I guess, uh...
358
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:24,293
- we’re done talking about this?
- I am!
359
00:17:27,755 --> 00:17:28,589
[sighs]
360
00:17:28,673 --> 00:17:31,259
[cell phone vibrating]
361
00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:32,342
Ah.
362
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:37,515
Ah. Hello?
363
00:17:37,598 --> 00:17:39,278
[operator] You have a collect call from...
364
00:17:39,308 --> 00:17:41,352
- [Norman] Norman.
- [operator] To accept, say yes.
365
00:17:41,435 --> 00:17:42,435
Yes.
366
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:44,647
- Norman?
- Sandy?
367
00:17:45,773 --> 00:17:47,650
Norman, why are you calling collect?
368
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:51,529
I'm at a Shell station.
There's a mini-mart, but it's closed.
369
00:17:51,946 --> 00:17:53,739
What are you doing at a Shell station?
370
00:17:53,823 --> 00:17:56,158
There were too many people at my house.
371
00:17:56,242 --> 00:17:58,452
- Now? Who?
- It's my own fault.
372
00:17:58,536 --> 00:18:02,081
You talk to one ghost, and suddenly
you're in a Yiddish version of Macbeth.
373
00:18:03,124 --> 00:18:05,835
You're not making any sense, Norman.
Are you still drinking?
374
00:18:05,918 --> 00:18:08,296
Go away, Ma! Go back to Tony!
375
00:18:08,379 --> 00:18:11,424
Mom? To... What are you talkin' about?
376
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,425
Norman?
377
00:18:13,718 --> 00:18:14,718
Hello?
378
00:18:20,641 --> 00:18:21,684
[yelling] Norman?
379
00:18:23,102 --> 00:18:24,102
Norman?
380
00:18:24,562 --> 00:18:25,938
Looking for your dog?
381
00:18:26,731 --> 00:18:28,774
No, my agent.
382
00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:30,609
Norman?
383
00:18:31,736 --> 00:18:32,778
Norman?
384
00:18:36,574 --> 00:18:38,159
[siren blares]
385
00:18:42,580 --> 00:18:43,914
Everything all right, sir?
386
00:18:46,917 --> 00:18:47,917
No.
387
00:18:48,085 --> 00:18:49,629
Everything is not all right.
388
00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:53,090
I outlived my wife.
389
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:55,926
That was not part of the plan.
390
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,638
I was supposed to go first!
391
00:19:08,689 --> 00:19:11,233
Hey, did you seen an old man
walkin' around down here?
392
00:19:11,317 --> 00:19:12,985
Was he wearing a bathrobe and pajamas?
393
00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:14,862
I don't know. Maybe.
394
00:19:15,279 --> 00:19:17,239
The cops picked him up over on Vine.
395
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,491
Oh, thank you.
396
00:19:18,574 --> 00:19:19,909
Hey, you want a blow job?
397
00:19:20,576 --> 00:19:21,576
Just got one!
398
00:19:21,911 --> 00:19:22,911
[clicks tongue]
399
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:30,960
[door buzzes]
400
00:19:31,837 --> 00:19:33,673
Have you been kissing a co-worker?
401
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:34,756
What?
402
00:19:34,924 --> 00:19:37,802
I only ask
because you smell like Old Spice.
403
00:19:37,885 --> 00:19:38,886
Go home.
404
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:44,225
Thank you, Officer.
405
00:19:44,642 --> 00:19:45,642
You okay?
406
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,061
I'm okay.
407
00:19:48,354 --> 00:19:50,064
Oh, I'm so glad you found him!
408
00:19:55,736 --> 00:19:57,488
You wanna tell me what's going on?
409
00:19:58,280 --> 00:19:59,490
Nothing's going on.
410
00:19:59,573 --> 00:20:02,743
I had too much to drink,
and I took a walk to clear my head.
411
00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,913
Fine, don't tell me.
412
00:20:08,416 --> 00:20:10,710
I think maybe I'm losing my mind.
413
00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:12,837
You're not losing your mind.
414
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:14,797
Oh, like you know.
415
00:20:15,923 --> 00:20:17,800
You've just been
through the fucking wringer.
416
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,260
Your wife died.
417
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:23,055
Your daughter's back in rehab
for the umpteenth time, and...
418
00:20:23,848 --> 00:20:26,350
I don't know
if this needs to be said out loud,
419
00:20:26,434 --> 00:20:29,437
but you're also like a thousand years old.
420
00:20:30,146 --> 00:20:31,856
I thought I was angry...
421
00:20:32,523 --> 00:20:34,024
but the truth is...
422
00:20:34,692 --> 00:20:36,444
I'm scared.
423
00:20:37,611 --> 00:20:39,363
I'm scared all the time.
424
00:20:46,454 --> 00:20:47,455
Listen to me.
425
00:20:48,247 --> 00:20:50,875
We're all scared, and you know why?
426
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:53,043
Because it's a scary fuckin' world.
427
00:20:54,044 --> 00:20:58,132
But we get through it
because we're not alone. You're not alone.
428
00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,217
Who do I have?
429
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:02,470
Me, you dumb shit!
430
00:21:03,804 --> 00:21:04,930
Can you see me?
431
00:21:05,765 --> 00:21:07,516
I'm right here in front of you.
432
00:21:12,646 --> 00:21:13,646
Hi.
433
00:21:14,648 --> 00:21:15,648
Hello there.
434
00:21:16,734 --> 00:21:17,777
I see you.
435
00:21:18,944 --> 00:21:19,945
You see me?
436
00:21:26,786 --> 00:21:28,204
Can you keep a secret?
437
00:21:28,579 --> 00:21:29,579
Sure.
438
00:21:32,750 --> 00:21:34,877
That's the Kominsky Method.
439
00:21:42,343 --> 00:21:45,554
I've decided, if I'm gonna continue
with this whole living business,
440
00:21:46,180 --> 00:21:48,641
- I have to get some answers.
- What do you mean, answers?
441
00:21:48,724 --> 00:21:49,892
Answers to what?
442
00:21:50,184 --> 00:21:52,311
The big questions. Who am I?
443
00:21:52,686 --> 00:21:53,854
Why am I here?
444
00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:55,481
Hoo, boy.
445
00:21:55,564 --> 00:21:57,233
There has to be a deeper meaning.
446
00:21:57,316 --> 00:21:59,026
Money doesn't matter anymore.
447
00:21:59,527 --> 00:22:00,945
Sex doesn't matter.
448
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:04,865
I think I gotta disagree
with you on that last one.
449
00:22:04,949 --> 00:22:08,244
Oh, please. At this point,
you're probably shooting sawdust.
450
00:22:08,786 --> 00:22:10,746
I’m taking Flomax. There’s no shooting.
451
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:11,831
[chuckles]
452
00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:15,793
So, where are you thinking
of finding these answers?
453
00:22:15,876 --> 00:22:18,045
Are you going to get religion?
454
00:22:18,796 --> 00:22:19,922
I've considered it.
455
00:22:20,631 --> 00:22:21,966
I like traditions,
456
00:22:22,424 --> 00:22:25,010
ancient languages, ritual.
457
00:22:25,970 --> 00:22:28,889
- But?
- The whole God thing puts me off.
458
00:22:29,390 --> 00:22:31,976
Okay. All right, well,
what about helping other people?
459
00:22:32,059 --> 00:22:33,811
Isn't that a good reason to keep going?
460
00:22:35,938 --> 00:22:36,938
Maybe.
461
00:22:37,439 --> 00:22:39,775
It's just so hard to like other people.
462
00:22:40,901 --> 00:22:41,901
Family?
463
00:22:42,236 --> 00:22:43,236
Ditto.
464
00:22:44,655 --> 00:22:48,409
Okay. Well, we don't have to figure
it out tonight. You’ve got some time.
465
00:22:48,909 --> 00:22:49,909
Do I?
466
00:22:50,703 --> 00:22:52,204
I'm just trying to be nice, Norman.
467
00:22:52,746 --> 00:22:53,746
Nice.
468
00:22:54,874 --> 00:22:57,877
Maybe life has no meaning,
and the best we can hope for is...
469
00:22:58,460 --> 00:22:59,920
just being nice.
470
00:23:00,004 --> 00:23:02,882
In which case,
you've got your work cut out for you.
471
00:23:02,965 --> 00:23:03,965
[snorts]
472
00:23:04,925 --> 00:23:06,051
You going home?
473
00:23:06,760 --> 00:23:08,137
Why? You want me to stay?
474
00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:11,056
Unless you have to get back to Lisa.
475
00:23:12,141 --> 00:23:13,267
No. No.
476
00:23:13,434 --> 00:23:14,518
She's okay.
477
00:23:14,602 --> 00:23:16,061
I'm glad you found her.
478
00:23:16,478 --> 00:23:19,023
A man your age shouldn't be alone.
It's not natural.
479
00:23:19,106 --> 00:23:22,359
We've been through this.
I'm not alone. I've got you.
480
00:23:22,818 --> 00:23:23,818
Babe.
481
00:23:23,986 --> 00:23:25,696
- [snorts]
- Remember that song?
482
00:23:25,779 --> 00:23:27,281
Sure, Sonny & Cher.
483
00:23:27,698 --> 00:23:28,824
Strange couple.
484
00:23:29,909 --> 00:23:32,036
I wonder what kind of hold
he had over her.
485
00:23:33,913 --> 00:23:35,122
Good night, Norman.
486
00:23:35,789 --> 00:23:37,082
[Norman] Good night, Gracie.
487
00:23:45,549 --> 00:23:48,260
♪ I got you to hold my hand ♪
488
00:23:48,344 --> 00:23:51,847
♪ I got you to understand ♪
489
00:23:51,931 --> 00:23:54,725
♪ I got you to walk with me ♪
490
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:58,062
♪ I got you to talk with me ♪
491
00:23:58,145 --> 00:24:01,315
♪ I got you to kiss good night ♪
492
00:24:01,398 --> 00:24:04,902
♪ I got you to hold me tight ♪
493
00:24:04,985 --> 00:24:06,236
♪ I got you ♪
494
00:24:06,320 --> 00:24:07,780
♪ I won't let go ♪
495
00:24:07,863 --> 00:24:11,158
♪ I got you to love me so ♪
496
00:24:17,081 --> 00:24:22,086
♪ I got you, babe ♪
497
00:24:25,631 --> 00:24:27,299
♪ I got you, babe ♪
498
00:24:28,926 --> 00:24:30,469
♪ I got you, babe ♪
499
00:24:32,262 --> 00:24:33,597
♪ I got you, babe ♪
500
00:24:34,305 --> 00:24:40,923
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