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[Jill]
Previously on Kidding...
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00:00:04,969 --> 00:00:06,844
[Jeff] And I think
that's appropriate,
3
00:00:06,927 --> 00:00:08,260
because it reminds us--
4
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:11,010
- [horn blares]
- [tires screeching]
5
00:00:11,094 --> 00:00:12,468
I wanna do a show about death.
6
00:00:12,552 --> 00:00:14,260
You do a show about death,
7
00:00:14,343 --> 00:00:16,343
children will run
from the room in tears.
8
00:00:16,426 --> 00:00:17,927
[Joanne] So what
do you think?
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00:00:18,010 --> 00:00:19,301
It's perfect.
10
00:00:21,052 --> 00:00:22,385
I'll take it.
11
00:00:23,677 --> 00:00:24,969
[woman] What do you
want to say?
12
00:00:25,885 --> 00:00:27,426
[Jeff] Allahu Akbar!
13
00:00:27,510 --> 00:00:29,218
Allahu Akbar?
14
00:00:29,301 --> 00:00:31,010
Stop talking.
We get it.
15
00:00:31,094 --> 00:00:32,593
You always know what to say.
16
00:00:32,677 --> 00:00:34,094
Sometimes I don't
want you to talk.
17
00:00:34,176 --> 00:00:36,052
I want you to listen.
18
00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:38,176
[chicken clucking]
19
00:00:38,260 --> 00:00:41,468
♪ playful music ♪
20
00:00:41,552 --> 00:00:42,218
- [blow lands]
- [grunts]
21
00:00:43,010 --> 00:00:45,802
I'm gonna call you Big P.
22
00:00:45,885 --> 00:00:46,885
What can I call you?
23
00:00:46,969 --> 00:00:48,510
Jeff Pickles.
24
00:00:48,593 --> 00:00:50,844
Olympic gold medalist
Ms. Tara Lipinski.
25
00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:52,927
[cheers and applause]
26
00:00:53,010 --> 00:00:56,802
- [slicing]
- [crowd screaming]
27
00:00:56,885 --> 00:00:58,468
[lighter flicking]
28
00:00:58,552 --> 00:01:00,176
[Jeff] Will's smoking reefer
29
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:01,885
like a jazz musician.
30
00:01:01,969 --> 00:01:03,927
[Jill] Teaching Will
a magic trick
31
00:01:04,010 --> 00:01:06,218
isn't gonna get him
to stop smoking pot.
32
00:01:06,301 --> 00:01:08,718
♪♪♪
33
00:01:08,802 --> 00:01:10,301
[Marsha]
The National Tree Lighting.
34
00:01:10,385 --> 00:01:12,844
That'll be, what,
10 million people watching?
35
00:01:12,927 --> 00:01:14,718
Oh, fuck.
36
00:01:14,802 --> 00:01:17,260
[Seb] How did December
get here so quickly?
37
00:01:17,343 --> 00:01:20,927
You are a bagpipe of insanity.
38
00:01:21,010 --> 00:01:23,094
This is not insanity.
39
00:01:24,343 --> 00:01:26,135
This is how honesty looks
40
00:01:26,218 --> 00:01:28,343
when you're inside out
and upside down.
41
00:01:29,885 --> 00:01:31,718
Saying yes to drugs
42
00:01:31,802 --> 00:01:34,760
is the biggest oops
you can make.
43
00:01:36,468 --> 00:01:38,510
Get between your kids
and drugs.
44
00:01:38,593 --> 00:01:40,301
It doesn't matter how
45
00:01:40,385 --> 00:01:42,301
if you want to save
your child's life.
46
00:01:42,385 --> 00:01:43,802
Hmm.
47
00:01:43,885 --> 00:01:47,927
♪ uplifting music ♪
48
00:01:48,010 --> 00:01:50,635
♪ quirky music ♪
49
00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:55,885
♪♪♪
50
00:02:05,301 --> 00:02:06,677
[woman]
Live from President's Park
51
00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:08,593
in the heart
of the nation's capital,
52
00:02:08,677 --> 00:02:11,760
it's America's Christmas Tree
Lighting 2018.
53
00:02:11,844 --> 00:02:13,969
This year, we celebrate
the festive season
54
00:02:14,052 --> 00:02:16,343
in a time-honored
holiday tradition
55
00:02:16,426 --> 00:02:18,635
featuring performances
from Trisha Yearwood,
56
00:02:18,718 --> 00:02:21,135
Wynonna Judd,
The Texas Tenors,
57
00:02:21,218 --> 00:02:23,468
with Kathie Lee Gifford
and Dean Cain.
58
00:02:23,552 --> 00:02:26,927
Please welcome our host,
Mr. Jeff Pickles.
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00:02:27,010 --> 00:02:30,135
- [cheers and applause on TV]
- [bird squawking]
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00:02:30,218 --> 00:02:33,135
♪ dramatic music ♪
61
00:02:33,218 --> 00:02:38,343
♪♪♪
62
00:02:43,844 --> 00:02:45,802
[crowd murmuring]
63
00:02:45,885 --> 00:02:50,927
♪♪♪
64
00:02:53,927 --> 00:02:55,218
[man clears throat]
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00:02:55,301 --> 00:02:58,135
Your parents don't deserve you.
66
00:03:00,844 --> 00:03:03,844
If they did, you wouldn't
be able to walk from
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00:03:03,927 --> 00:03:07,218
Los Angeles to Beijing on
a bridge of floating plastic.
68
00:03:07,301 --> 00:03:09,510
What's left to drink
when the water
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00:03:09,593 --> 00:03:11,052
has too much lead in it?
70
00:03:11,135 --> 00:03:14,593
The orange juice
has too much sugar.
71
00:03:14,677 --> 00:03:16,593
They put so many
hormones in the milk,
72
00:03:16,677 --> 00:03:19,635
girls are spending their
eighth birthday with Aunt Flo.
73
00:03:19,718 --> 00:03:22,510
They want me to put
Soap Scum on a tampon box.
74
00:03:22,593 --> 00:03:23,593
They want Ennui hawking
antidepressants.
75
00:03:23,677 --> 00:03:24,844
[line trills]
76
00:03:24,927 --> 00:03:27,802
speaking Croatian
77
00:03:30,677 --> 00:03:35,218
You are the product
of narcissism.
78
00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:38,844
Your parents look at you
and see their own death.
79
00:03:40,552 --> 00:03:42,552
They either expect more of you
than you can give them
80
00:03:42,635 --> 00:03:44,927
or, worse,
nothing at all.
81
00:03:45,010 --> 00:03:47,094
Statistically,
they hate each other.
82
00:03:47,176 --> 00:03:50,260
speaking Japanese
83
00:03:52,593 --> 00:03:54,343
They use you
to fix their flaws.
84
00:03:54,426 --> 00:03:56,802
They want you to read
the books they won't.
85
00:03:56,885 --> 00:03:59,301
You are the caviar of a trout.
86
00:03:59,385 --> 00:04:01,510
[bird squawks]
Caviar of a trout.
87
00:04:01,593 --> 00:04:03,135
Your parents will
always love you enough
88
00:04:03,218 --> 00:04:05,718
to pretend they love you.
89
00:04:05,802 --> 00:04:07,844
That's why they buy you dolls,
90
00:04:07,927 --> 00:04:09,969
so you can practice
pretending too.
91
00:04:10,052 --> 00:04:12,677
Repeat after me.
Every pain needs a name.
92
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,510
[Josip] Every pain
needs a name.
93
00:04:14,593 --> 00:04:16,593
Good, that's very good.
Green means go.
94
00:04:16,677 --> 00:04:18,510
- [Josip] Green means go.
- Good.
95
00:04:18,593 --> 00:04:20,760
Good.
Now say, "I love you, Daddy."
96
00:04:20,844 --> 00:04:23,802
- [Josip] Why?
- Just say it.
97
00:04:23,885 --> 00:04:26,343
[Josip] I love you, Daddy.
98
00:04:26,426 --> 00:04:27,510
Thank you.
99
00:04:27,593 --> 00:04:29,552
Your parents are failing you.
100
00:04:29,635 --> 00:04:32,426
Mine did, and yours do.
101
00:04:32,510 --> 00:04:34,885
Every day.
102
00:04:34,969 --> 00:04:38,135
I know this because
they leave you with me.
103
00:04:39,052 --> 00:04:41,385
Don't believe me?
104
00:04:41,468 --> 00:04:43,010
Next time you're
watching my show,
105
00:04:43,094 --> 00:04:45,468
call out for your mom
or your dad.
106
00:04:45,552 --> 00:04:47,718
Do they respond?
107
00:04:47,802 --> 00:04:49,176
No.
108
00:04:49,260 --> 00:04:51,260
Of course not.
109
00:04:51,343 --> 00:04:52,927
They're avoiding you.
110
00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:55,094
Mom?
111
00:04:55,176 --> 00:04:57,052
Your mom is chasing down
a handful of Klonopin
112
00:04:57,135 --> 00:04:58,510
with a Diet Dr Pepper.
113
00:04:58,593 --> 00:04:59,718
Mom?
114
00:04:59,802 --> 00:05:01,385
And Dad is out there drinking
115
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:02,635
from the bottles
that empty him.
116
00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:04,552
Mom?
117
00:05:04,635 --> 00:05:08,635
[Deirdre] Hypothetically
if I-I have an account
118
00:05:08,718 --> 00:05:11,260
that he doesn't know about
119
00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:13,426
with hundreds of thousands
of dollars
120
00:05:13,510 --> 00:05:15,593
that was supposed
to go to charity,
121
00:05:15,677 --> 00:05:19,426
what happens to that, um,
money in the divorce?
122
00:05:21,385 --> 00:05:23,552
[Deirdre] I see, yeah.
123
00:05:23,635 --> 00:05:26,135
I like you,
124
00:05:26,218 --> 00:05:29,010
the friends who visit me
on television.
125
00:05:29,094 --> 00:05:31,176
But I'm not your father.
126
00:05:31,260 --> 00:05:32,677
And I shouldn't be.
127
00:05:36,969 --> 00:05:38,510
I killed my son.
128
00:05:38,593 --> 00:05:40,135
[crowd gasping]
129
00:05:40,218 --> 00:05:43,010
♪ somber music ♪
130
00:05:43,094 --> 00:05:45,927
♪♪♪
131
00:05:46,010 --> 00:05:48,010
[glass shatters]
132
00:05:48,094 --> 00:05:49,885
[man] Murderer!
133
00:05:49,969 --> 00:05:51,969
♪♪♪
134
00:05:52,052 --> 00:05:54,969
[sniffing]
135
00:05:55,052 --> 00:05:59,635
♪♪♪
136
00:06:06,218 --> 00:06:08,218
[Josip] Please don't use
a bad word when you can--
137
00:06:08,301 --> 00:06:11,094
♪♪♪
138
00:06:11,176 --> 00:06:13,927
I didn't listen to him.
139
00:06:14,010 --> 00:06:17,176
So he didn't listen to me.
140
00:06:17,260 --> 00:06:20,218
Turns out, I was a pretty good
talker but a terrible listener.
141
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:23,426
Why didn't I listen?
142
00:06:23,510 --> 00:06:25,552
Because I can be selfish too.
143
00:06:26,802 --> 00:06:28,718
If I had really
listened to him,
144
00:06:28,802 --> 00:06:31,635
I would have heard
my own flaws, my own anger.
145
00:06:31,718 --> 00:06:34,218
For me to address his flaws,
146
00:06:34,301 --> 00:06:36,176
I would have had
to admit to my own.
147
00:06:38,094 --> 00:06:39,718
If I had listened to him,
148
00:06:39,802 --> 00:06:41,718
maybe he would have
listened to me.
149
00:06:41,802 --> 00:06:44,510
Maybe he would have
done his homework.
150
00:06:44,593 --> 00:06:46,426
Maybe he would have
put on a seat belt.
151
00:06:47,510 --> 00:06:51,760
♪♪♪
152
00:06:53,927 --> 00:06:56,677
Now it's almost Christmas.
Again.
153
00:06:58,760 --> 00:07:01,593
And in that spirit,
154
00:07:01,677 --> 00:07:04,385
I want you to go to where
your parents hide things.
155
00:07:05,552 --> 00:07:07,301
Sometimes it's
a special drawer
156
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:08,635
or the linen closet.
157
00:07:08,718 --> 00:07:11,468
All children know
where this is.
158
00:07:11,552 --> 00:07:13,343
It's where your parents
hide your presents.
159
00:07:13,426 --> 00:07:14,635
♪ whimsical music ♪
160
00:07:14,718 --> 00:07:16,593
I want you to open them early.
161
00:07:16,677 --> 00:07:19,343
♪♪♪
162
00:07:19,426 --> 00:07:21,510
It's all right.
163
00:07:21,593 --> 00:07:23,635
I say it's okay.
164
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:26,260
I don't wanna
fail you anymore.
165
00:07:26,343 --> 00:07:27,677
♪♪♪
166
00:07:27,760 --> 00:07:30,677
Did you get
a talking Mr. Pickles?
167
00:07:30,760 --> 00:07:33,094
Go ahead.
Pull the string.
168
00:07:33,176 --> 00:07:38,052
♪♪♪
169
00:07:40,385 --> 00:07:42,593
[dolls] I'm listening.
I'm listening.
170
00:07:42,677 --> 00:07:45,635
I'm listening.
I'm listening.
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00:07:45,718 --> 00:07:49,385
♪♪♪
172
00:07:49,468 --> 00:07:51,176
[door clicks open]
173
00:07:51,260 --> 00:07:55,052
♪♪♪
174
00:07:55,135 --> 00:07:56,969
What did you get me
for Christmas?
175
00:07:57,052 --> 00:08:01,885
♪♪♪
176
00:08:02,343 --> 00:08:05,135
Maddy. Maddy!
177
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,844
What?
178
00:08:08,135 --> 00:08:10,885
I'm listening.
179
00:08:10,969 --> 00:08:14,885
And, Jill,
if you're listening,
180
00:08:14,969 --> 00:08:17,343
I'm sorry.
181
00:08:17,426 --> 00:08:19,343
I will always love you.
182
00:08:19,426 --> 00:08:23,343
♪♪♪
183
00:08:26,094 --> 00:08:31,135
♪♪♪
184
00:08:32,385 --> 00:08:33,927
Allahu Akbar!
185
00:08:34,010 --> 00:08:36,885
[crowd screaming]
186
00:08:51,426 --> 00:08:52,718
We're gonna be fine.
187
00:08:58,510 --> 00:08:59,927
[vomiting]
188
00:09:00,010 --> 00:09:02,885
[phone ringing]
189
00:09:05,385 --> 00:09:08,510
[ringing continues]
190
00:09:11,718 --> 00:09:13,343
[network exec 1] We'll air
whatever's left on the shelf,
191
00:09:13,426 --> 00:09:15,010
but then I-I don't know.
192
00:09:15,094 --> 00:09:17,718
I like to call this
an indefinite hiatus.
193
00:09:17,802 --> 00:09:19,969
But if I'm PBS talking--
and I am--
194
00:09:20,052 --> 00:09:21,593
I'd be lying if I said I saw
195
00:09:21,677 --> 00:09:23,010
the show coming back
from this,
196
00:09:23,094 --> 00:09:25,385
animated or not.
197
00:09:25,468 --> 00:09:27,094
I see.
198
00:09:27,176 --> 00:09:28,844
[network exec 2]
Look, we all know Jeff
199
00:09:28,927 --> 00:09:30,718
hasn't been the same
since the car accident.
200
00:09:30,802 --> 00:09:32,844
Maybe this is for the best.
201
00:09:34,260 --> 00:09:35,426
You there, Seb?
202
00:09:35,510 --> 00:09:38,176
Hello, hi.
Fuck you.
203
00:09:38,260 --> 00:09:40,844
You don't get to say that
about my son.
204
00:09:43,385 --> 00:09:46,260
♪ soft music ♪
205
00:09:46,343 --> 00:09:51,260
♪♪♪
206
00:10:26,385 --> 00:10:28,176
Could I let you in on
something that's bugged me
207
00:10:28,260 --> 00:10:29,802
for 30 years?
208
00:10:31,260 --> 00:10:33,010
Okay.
209
00:10:33,094 --> 00:10:34,885
I've always understood
how I get down
210
00:10:34,969 --> 00:10:36,468
to Pickle Barrel Falls.
211
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:38,718
I get in a pickle barrel,
212
00:10:38,802 --> 00:10:41,969
go over the falls,
a parachute deploys.
213
00:10:42,052 --> 00:10:45,677
What I've never understood is,
how do I get back up?
214
00:10:47,969 --> 00:10:49,635
There's no way back up.
215
00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:56,135
Yeah.
I don't know.
216
00:10:56,218 --> 00:10:57,635
I never thought about that.
217
00:10:59,176 --> 00:11:02,635
Derrell, do you think
what I did was wrong?
218
00:11:05,844 --> 00:11:07,385
Yes.
219
00:11:07,468 --> 00:11:10,426
♪ dramatic music ♪
220
00:11:10,510 --> 00:11:15,635
♪♪♪
221
00:11:26,426 --> 00:11:27,135
I need help.
222
00:11:27,218 --> 00:11:28,593
[sighs]
223
00:11:28,677 --> 00:11:29,844
I don't know how to help you.
224
00:11:29,927 --> 00:11:32,218
Yes, you do.
You help by loving me.
225
00:11:32,301 --> 00:11:33,885
I don't know
how to love anyone.
226
00:11:33,969 --> 00:11:36,218
You love Maddy.
You love Scott.
227
00:11:37,218 --> 00:11:38,969
- I'm leaving Scott.
- What?
228
00:11:39,052 --> 00:11:41,510
I'm giving Maddy
a divorce for Christmas.
229
00:11:41,593 --> 00:11:43,802
I'm gonna tell her tonight.
Maybe I'll bake brownies.
230
00:11:43,885 --> 00:11:45,718
I'm so sorry.
I didn't know.
231
00:11:45,802 --> 00:11:47,218
No, it's my fault.
232
00:11:48,135 --> 00:11:49,885
I don't know who I am.
233
00:11:51,094 --> 00:11:55,552
Somehow I know
who everyone is except me.
234
00:12:05,343 --> 00:12:07,094
You think I'm going insane?
235
00:12:11,176 --> 00:12:12,927
You know how I make
a new puppet?
236
00:12:14,260 --> 00:12:16,635
I start with someone I know,
237
00:12:16,718 --> 00:12:18,927
and then, uh,
238
00:12:19,010 --> 00:12:22,010
I search for their essence.
239
00:12:23,677 --> 00:12:27,635
I look them in the eye,
and I'm thinking to myself,
240
00:12:27,718 --> 00:12:30,052
"Who are you, really?
241
00:12:30,135 --> 00:12:32,468
Are you someone
who likes secrets?"
242
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,426
♪ dramatic music ♪
243
00:12:35,510 --> 00:12:40,677
♪♪♪
244
00:12:43,635 --> 00:12:45,760
- Are you--
- What?
245
00:12:48,844 --> 00:12:50,885
"Are you someone's opposite?"
246
00:12:50,969 --> 00:12:55,426
They say time and space
are both immutable,
247
00:12:55,510 --> 00:12:58,718
governed by laws
that cannot be broken.
248
00:12:59,426 --> 00:13:02,760
All I have to say to that is,
249
00:13:02,844 --> 00:13:05,677
laws were meant to be broken.
250
00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:08,635
And that's why they call me...
251
00:13:08,718 --> 00:13:11,593
the amazing Pickle-ini!
252
00:13:11,677 --> 00:13:14,677
- [laughter]
- [clapping]
253
00:13:14,760 --> 00:13:18,635
"At the end of the day,
what's your purpose, huh?
254
00:13:18,718 --> 00:13:20,802
Are you somebody's heart?"
255
00:13:20,885 --> 00:13:23,927
I'm sorry if my actions
hurt you in any way.
256
00:13:25,094 --> 00:13:27,844
Hey, I found
my next relationship
257
00:13:27,927 --> 00:13:31,135
in a hospital hallway,
so maybe I led by example.
258
00:13:31,218 --> 00:13:32,677
"Are you an old soul?"
259
00:13:32,760 --> 00:13:35,844
[both moaning]
260
00:13:35,927 --> 00:13:39,635
♪♪♪
261
00:13:39,718 --> 00:13:41,802
"Are you the voice of God?"
262
00:13:41,885 --> 00:13:45,552
The general populace doesn't
see you as a sexual being.
263
00:13:45,635 --> 00:13:48,677
We see Mr. Potato Head.
No one sees a man.
264
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,552
Thanks, Dad.
265
00:13:50,635 --> 00:13:52,426
But I am a man.
266
00:13:52,510 --> 00:13:54,010
I am.
267
00:13:54,094 --> 00:13:56,010
Just a different kind.
268
00:13:56,094 --> 00:13:59,927
♪♪♪
269
00:14:00,010 --> 00:14:02,635
So who am I, Dee?
270
00:14:02,718 --> 00:14:04,718
Ennui the Sad
271
00:14:04,802 --> 00:14:06,844
or Sy the Happy Fly?
272
00:14:06,927 --> 00:14:08,969
You know who you are.
273
00:14:10,135 --> 00:14:13,635
Um, there's some kid
here to see Jeff.
274
00:14:13,718 --> 00:14:16,052
She just wandered in here
without a parent.
275
00:14:17,760 --> 00:14:19,135
Thanks.
276
00:14:21,844 --> 00:14:24,718
♪ soft music ♪
277
00:14:24,802 --> 00:14:29,969
♪♪♪
278
00:14:31,135 --> 00:14:33,094
What can I do for you?
279
00:14:33,176 --> 00:14:35,135
[doll] I'm listening.
280
00:14:35,218 --> 00:14:37,802
♪♪♪
281
00:14:37,885 --> 00:14:39,301
[patting couch]
282
00:14:41,218 --> 00:14:43,052
I'm always here to listen.
283
00:14:44,385 --> 00:14:47,510
After T-ball,
no one was there to get me.
284
00:14:47,593 --> 00:14:49,426
So when the coach
dropped me off,
285
00:14:49,510 --> 00:14:52,593
Mom and Dad were both home
without any pants on.
286
00:14:52,677 --> 00:14:55,885
[Jeff] Oh.
Did that make you sad?
287
00:14:55,969 --> 00:14:57,927
- [boy] Mm-hmm.
- [Jeff] Hmm.
288
00:14:58,010 --> 00:15:03,176
♪♪♪
289
00:15:03,844 --> 00:15:06,718
[indistinct chatter]
290
00:15:10,468 --> 00:15:15,343
♪♪♪
291
00:15:37,677 --> 00:15:39,468
It's gonna be okay.
292
00:15:39,552 --> 00:15:44,468
♪♪♪
293
00:15:45,301 --> 00:15:46,635
Where are you going?
294
00:15:47,635 --> 00:15:49,218
To see Dad.
295
00:15:49,301 --> 00:15:50,927
You're spending the night
there tonight.
296
00:15:51,010 --> 00:15:56,135
♪♪♪
297
00:16:17,677 --> 00:16:19,844
Hey, get in line.
298
00:16:19,927 --> 00:16:25,010
♪♪♪
299
00:16:32,969 --> 00:16:34,677
[boy] Thank you.
300
00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:39,635
♪♪♪
301
00:16:53,094 --> 00:16:55,844
You talk.
302
00:16:55,927 --> 00:16:57,885
I'll listen.
303
00:16:57,969 --> 00:17:02,301
♪♪♪
304
00:17:02,385 --> 00:17:06,301
I had a son named Phil.
305
00:17:06,385 --> 00:17:08,218
He was once your age.
306
00:17:10,301 --> 00:17:12,301
He died.
307
00:17:12,385 --> 00:17:16,635
So we put him in a box,
308
00:17:16,718 --> 00:17:19,677
and we buried him.
309
00:17:19,760 --> 00:17:21,885
♪ What does it mean
to lose a thing ♪
310
00:17:21,969 --> 00:17:24,510
♪ You really want to stay? ♪
311
00:17:24,593 --> 00:17:26,677
♪ What if they sent
your favorite socks ♪
312
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,301
♪ A million blocks away? ♪
313
00:17:29,385 --> 00:17:33,802
[all] ♪ If you knew they were
warming someone else's feet ♪
314
00:17:33,885 --> 00:17:34,844
- ♪ Hooray ♪
- Hooray.
315
00:17:34,927 --> 00:17:36,677
Yay!
316
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:38,969
[Jeff] ♪ Nothing
you really love ♪
317
00:17:39,052 --> 00:17:41,094
[all] ♪ Can ever ♪
318
00:17:41,176 --> 00:17:45,426
- ♪ Go away ♪
- [cell phone ringing]
319
00:17:48,176 --> 00:17:49,552
Hello?
320
00:17:49,635 --> 00:17:50,718
[Jill] Hi, it's me.
321
00:17:50,802 --> 00:17:52,677
I know.
I know.
322
00:17:52,760 --> 00:17:54,260
[Jill] Sorry Will
didn't make it over
323
00:17:54,343 --> 00:17:55,677
to your place last night.
324
00:17:55,760 --> 00:17:57,343
He says he's not feeling well,
325
00:17:57,426 --> 00:18:00,385
but I think
it's girl problems.
326
00:18:00,468 --> 00:18:02,343
Oh, well, he's gonna have
to get used to that.
327
00:18:02,426 --> 00:18:04,052
He's a heartbreaker.
328
00:18:04,135 --> 00:18:07,052
♪♪♪
329
00:18:07,135 --> 00:18:09,552
[Jill] It was
a beautiful song.
330
00:18:09,635 --> 00:18:11,718
[Jeff] You saw that?
331
00:18:11,802 --> 00:18:14,218
[Jill] I always felt you were
ashamed of Phil's death
332
00:18:14,301 --> 00:18:16,426
because you never
talked about it in public.
333
00:18:16,510 --> 00:18:19,385
You could hide behind the show
and never deal with it.
334
00:18:20,927 --> 00:18:22,677
[Jeff] I know.
335
00:18:22,760 --> 00:18:24,135
[Jill] For what it's worth,
it felt like
336
00:18:24,218 --> 00:18:26,343
you stopped hiding today.
337
00:18:26,426 --> 00:18:28,552
[Jeff] I didn't think
you still watched the show.
338
00:18:28,635 --> 00:18:30,468
[Jill] I do sometimes.
339
00:18:30,552 --> 00:18:32,052
- [screams]
- [Jeff] Oh!
340
00:18:32,135 --> 00:18:33,802
I kinda got it.
341
00:18:33,885 --> 00:18:35,343
[Jeff] I like
that you visit me
342
00:18:35,426 --> 00:18:38,552
when I don't know
you're visiting me.
343
00:18:38,635 --> 00:18:40,552
[Jill] I know I made this
whole thing about setting
344
00:18:40,635 --> 00:18:43,052
rules and boundaries,
but I want you to know
345
00:18:43,135 --> 00:18:46,176
that you can come by the house
whenever you like.
346
00:18:46,260 --> 00:18:48,218
- [laughter]
- [Jeff] Tonight?
347
00:18:48,301 --> 00:18:50,135
- [Jill] If you want.
- [Jeff] We could go for a walk.
348
00:18:50,218 --> 00:18:51,510
- [Jill] Sure.
- [Jeff] Maybe we could
349
00:18:51,593 --> 00:18:53,885
see a baseball game
together.
350
00:18:53,969 --> 00:18:55,385
[Jill] It's the middle
of winter.
351
00:18:55,468 --> 00:18:57,010
[Jeff] No,
I don't mean tonight.
352
00:18:57,094 --> 00:18:59,677
I just mean someday.
353
00:19:00,426 --> 00:19:02,301
- [laughs]
- [Jeff] Yeah!
354
00:19:02,385 --> 00:19:04,426
- That was a strike.
- [Jeff] Oh, good.
355
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,094
- [Jeff] Hello?
- [Jill] I'm here.
356
00:19:06,176 --> 00:19:07,552
[Jeff] Oh.
[laughs]
357
00:19:07,635 --> 00:19:10,343
I thought you, uh,
nodded off.
358
00:19:26,052 --> 00:19:27,426
[faint chatter and yelling]
359
00:19:27,510 --> 00:19:30,468
[hip-hop music playing faintly]
360
00:19:30,552 --> 00:19:35,426
♪♪♪
361
00:19:38,885 --> 00:19:43,593
[Giggles] So what's
the plural of clitoris?
362
00:19:43,677 --> 00:19:45,260
[Bong Dude] Plethoris?
363
00:19:45,343 --> 00:19:49,593
♪♪♪
364
00:19:49,677 --> 00:19:52,010
[boy chuckles]
365
00:19:52,094 --> 00:19:54,635
[couple smooching]
366
00:19:54,718 --> 00:19:57,010
[couple giggling]
367
00:19:57,094 --> 00:20:02,176
♪♪♪
368
00:20:02,260 --> 00:20:04,635
[Bong Dude]
Baruch atah Adonai.
369
00:20:04,718 --> 00:20:07,593
[Giggles]
Baruch atah Adonai.
370
00:20:07,677 --> 00:20:10,260
Eloheinu melech haolam.
371
00:20:10,343 --> 00:20:12,760
Eloheinu melech haolam.
372
00:20:12,844 --> 00:20:14,468
♪♪♪
373
00:20:14,552 --> 00:20:15,844
Hey.
374
00:20:15,927 --> 00:20:16,927
What's up?
375
00:20:17,010 --> 00:20:18,426
Are we friends?
376
00:20:18,510 --> 00:20:21,802
Uh, we're your only friends.
377
00:20:21,885 --> 00:20:23,385
He wasn't talking to you.
378
00:20:23,468 --> 00:20:28,593
♪♪♪
379
00:20:30,301 --> 00:20:31,927
Sometimes I don't
feel like myself
380
00:20:32,010 --> 00:20:35,385
and I do stuff
I'm not proud of.
381
00:20:35,468 --> 00:20:38,010
Is he talking
about the chickens?
382
00:20:38,094 --> 00:20:39,927
Mm-mm.
383
00:20:40,010 --> 00:20:42,844
I'm sorry I was stupid.
384
00:20:42,927 --> 00:20:45,844
I'm sorry I was your
first kiss and I was stupid.
385
00:20:45,927 --> 00:20:48,094
You weren't my first kiss.
386
00:20:48,176 --> 00:20:50,260
Oh.
You were mine.
387
00:20:51,343 --> 00:20:53,927
Oh.
388
00:20:54,010 --> 00:20:57,510
[sighs]
Come to bed.
389
00:20:57,593 --> 00:20:59,343
Jeff's coming over
for a bit, I think.
390
00:20:59,426 --> 00:21:00,844
[crowd chanting]
Drink! Drink! Drink!
391
00:21:00,927 --> 00:21:02,969
Oh, come on!
392
00:21:03,052 --> 00:21:05,844
Who's this asshole
new neighbor of yours?
393
00:21:05,927 --> 00:21:07,385
I don't know.
394
00:21:07,468 --> 00:21:09,385
Ah, there's not enough
Ambien in the world.
395
00:21:09,468 --> 00:21:11,552
Mm.
396
00:21:11,635 --> 00:21:13,927
I have a 4 a.m. shift.
397
00:21:14,010 --> 00:21:16,176
- I'll call the police.
- Mm.
398
00:21:16,260 --> 00:21:18,301
[sighs]
399
00:21:18,385 --> 00:21:19,635
No.
400
00:21:21,844 --> 00:21:24,927
I can be...
401
00:21:25,010 --> 00:21:26,760
polite but firm.
402
00:21:26,844 --> 00:21:28,094
♪♪♪
403
00:21:28,176 --> 00:21:30,969
[crowd cheering]
404
00:21:31,052 --> 00:21:33,552
[both giggling]
405
00:21:33,635 --> 00:21:35,260
♪♪♪
406
00:21:35,343 --> 00:21:37,510
[chicken clucking]
407
00:21:37,593 --> 00:21:42,468
♪♪♪
408
00:21:45,969 --> 00:21:48,135
[boy] What's up, dude?
409
00:21:48,218 --> 00:21:49,510
Hello.
410
00:21:50,885 --> 00:21:52,510
Hey.
411
00:21:52,593 --> 00:21:54,927
Anybody actually live here?
412
00:21:55,010 --> 00:21:57,885
Hey, I think
this old guy will know.
413
00:21:57,969 --> 00:21:59,260
Yo, dude,
414
00:21:59,343 --> 00:22:01,176
what do you call
more than one clitoris?
415
00:22:01,260 --> 00:22:03,010
A medical condition.
416
00:22:03,094 --> 00:22:04,677
[chortling]
417
00:22:05,844 --> 00:22:07,385
[sighs]
418
00:22:07,468 --> 00:22:11,218
♪♪♪
419
00:22:11,301 --> 00:22:14,135
[Peter] Oh, that is fucked up.
420
00:22:14,218 --> 00:22:19,343
♪♪♪
421
00:22:20,426 --> 00:22:21,552
Not you guys.
422
00:22:21,635 --> 00:22:23,176
You guys, I never saw.
423
00:22:23,844 --> 00:22:25,552
[sighs]
424
00:22:26,510 --> 00:22:28,969
Hey, turn down the music,
okay?
425
00:22:29,052 --> 00:22:33,885
♪♪♪
426
00:22:36,260 --> 00:22:38,010
Oh.
427
00:22:38,094 --> 00:22:43,010
♪♪♪
428
00:22:45,135 --> 00:22:46,593
Hey, hey, you!
429
00:22:46,677 --> 00:22:49,094
God, you.
I need to talk to you.
430
00:22:49,176 --> 00:22:51,468
Hey there, Big P.
431
00:22:51,552 --> 00:22:53,468
Jill and I are just
going for a walk.
432
00:22:53,552 --> 00:22:55,385
Why are your clothes
in that house?
433
00:22:56,635 --> 00:22:57,468
What?
434
00:22:57,552 --> 00:22:59,301
Did you move in next door?
435
00:23:02,301 --> 00:23:06,218
I didn't...move in.
436
00:23:06,301 --> 00:23:07,593
[sighs]
437
00:23:09,052 --> 00:23:12,094
- Please don't tell her.
- You're hurting her.
438
00:23:12,176 --> 00:23:13,718
You're--
I'm sorry, it's not my place
439
00:23:13,802 --> 00:23:15,468
to say any of this.
440
00:23:15,552 --> 00:23:17,385
[sighs]
441
00:23:18,260 --> 00:23:20,176
She loves you, all right?
442
00:23:20,260 --> 00:23:22,218
You love her.
443
00:23:22,301 --> 00:23:24,426
That's great.
But the more that you love her,
444
00:23:24,510 --> 00:23:26,552
the more you are hurting her.
445
00:23:26,635 --> 00:23:29,260
'Cause you can't rebuild this.
It's impossible.
446
00:23:29,343 --> 00:23:31,593
Please stop asking her to try.
447
00:23:31,677 --> 00:23:32,844
I'm sorry. You're right.
448
00:23:32,927 --> 00:23:34,510
God, you're right.
I'm sorry.
449
00:23:34,593 --> 00:23:36,593
I like you.
I don't wanna be the bad guy
450
00:23:36,677 --> 00:23:38,593
that tears your family apart.
451
00:23:38,677 --> 00:23:40,052
You're not.
452
00:23:40,135 --> 00:23:41,094
You're the opposite
of everything
453
00:23:41,176 --> 00:23:42,301
I wanted you to be.
454
00:23:42,385 --> 00:23:43,885
You're smart and charming
455
00:23:43,969 --> 00:23:45,635
and clearly you do
push-ups sometimes.
456
00:23:45,718 --> 00:23:47,969
Not really.
My-my father was big-chested,
457
00:23:48,052 --> 00:23:50,552
and...you know.
458
00:23:50,635 --> 00:23:53,802
When Jill and I
had our falling-out...
459
00:23:56,510 --> 00:23:59,552
...my biggest fear was that
I'd have to watch another man
460
00:23:59,635 --> 00:24:01,510
raise my child.
461
00:24:01,593 --> 00:24:05,343
And now that
that moment has come,
462
00:24:05,426 --> 00:24:07,218
I'm relieved...
463
00:24:09,760 --> 00:24:12,802
...because...
that other man is you.
464
00:24:14,010 --> 00:24:16,718
You're terrific.
465
00:24:16,802 --> 00:24:19,552
You really are.
466
00:24:19,635 --> 00:24:22,094
Inside and out.
467
00:24:22,176 --> 00:24:24,593
Well, that's the most wonderful
thing anyone's ever said to me.
468
00:24:24,677 --> 00:24:26,468
I hope I didn't overstep.
469
00:24:26,552 --> 00:24:28,844
No, it's--
I...
470
00:24:28,927 --> 00:24:31,677
Thank you, bud.
Thank you for saying that.
471
00:24:35,135 --> 00:24:36,301
[chuckles]
472
00:24:40,593 --> 00:24:43,301
The P in Big P
used to stand for "pussy,"
473
00:24:43,385 --> 00:24:45,760
but now it stands
for "Peter."
474
00:24:45,844 --> 00:24:47,343
Don't worry about it.
475
00:24:47,426 --> 00:24:49,510
I'll tell Jill
about the house.
476
00:24:49,593 --> 00:24:51,260
I'll apologize.
477
00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:55,343
We'll work through this
together.
478
00:24:55,426 --> 00:24:57,885
Okay.
[chuckles]
479
00:24:57,969 --> 00:24:59,301
Okay.
480
00:25:00,844 --> 00:25:02,343
Thanks.
481
00:25:04,844 --> 00:25:07,010
[Peter] Thanks for
trusting me with Will.
482
00:25:09,301 --> 00:25:11,343
Hey, do you wanna smoke a joint?
483
00:25:11,426 --> 00:25:15,218
♪ dramatic music ♪
484
00:25:15,301 --> 00:25:16,677
You mean marijuana?
485
00:25:16,760 --> 00:25:19,218
♪♪♪
486
00:25:19,301 --> 00:25:22,135
Make you feel good.
487
00:25:22,218 --> 00:25:24,218
I should go home.
488
00:25:24,301 --> 00:25:25,885
[lighter flicks]
489
00:25:27,593 --> 00:25:31,677
♪♪♪
490
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,885
- Night.
- Good night.
491
00:25:35,969 --> 00:25:38,593
[engine turns over]
492
00:25:39,218 --> 00:25:42,135
- [grunts]
- [glass shatters]
493
00:25:42,218 --> 00:25:44,802
[groaning]
494
00:25:44,885 --> 00:25:47,969
♪♪♪
495
00:25:48,052 --> 00:25:49,468
Oops.
496
00:25:51,260 --> 00:25:56,426
♪♪♪
497
00:25:59,385 --> 00:26:02,260
[birds chirping]
498
00:26:02,343 --> 00:26:07,510
♪♪♪
499
00:26:11,885 --> 00:26:16,135
♪ You can feel
anything at all ♪
500
00:26:16,218 --> 00:26:20,468
♪ Anything at all,
it's fine ♪
501
00:26:20,552 --> 00:26:23,760
♪ It's you who's doing
the feeling ♪
502
00:26:23,844 --> 00:26:28,010
♪ And that makes it okay ♪
503
00:26:28,094 --> 00:26:32,635
♪ And if you don't know
who you are yet ♪
504
00:26:32,718 --> 00:26:37,635
♪ You can feel anyway ♪
505
00:26:37,718 --> 00:26:40,343
♪♪♪
506
00:26:40,426 --> 00:26:44,718
♪ You can feel
feelings you don't know ♪
507
00:26:44,802 --> 00:26:48,385
♪ Feelings gotta grow,
like feet ♪
508
00:26:48,468 --> 00:26:50,218
♪♪♪
509
00:26:50,301 --> 00:26:54,593
♪ So feel it ♪
510
00:26:54,677 --> 00:26:56,218
♪ And you can ♪
511
00:26:56,301 --> 00:27:00,510
♪ Heal it ♪
512
00:27:00,593 --> 00:27:03,301
♪ Isn't growing up ♪
513
00:27:03,385 --> 00:27:07,426
♪ Funny ♪
514
00:27:07,510 --> 00:27:12,301
♪ And sweet? ♪
515
00:27:12,385 --> 00:27:16,969
♪♪♪
516
00:27:17,019 --> 00:27:21,569
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