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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,218 --> 00:00:04,634 [Hopscotch] Previously on Kidding... 2 00:00:04,717 --> 00:00:07,176 In six weeks, I'm gonna be dead. 3 00:00:07,260 --> 00:00:08,926 Bad fucking table! 4 00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:12,176 I have a lot of pent-up anger, and I don't know 5 00:00:12,260 --> 00:00:13,926 where it's coming from or how to stop it. 6 00:00:14,009 --> 00:00:16,009 Pickles On Ice, 7 00:00:16,093 --> 00:00:18,884 starring Mr. Pickles himself, as played 8 00:00:18,968 --> 00:00:20,884 by gold medalist Tara Lipinski. 9 00:00:20,968 --> 00:00:22,301 Hi, I'm Jeff. 10 00:00:22,385 --> 00:00:24,509 Let's meet the writers I hired. 11 00:00:24,592 --> 00:00:25,467 What writers? 12 00:00:25,551 --> 00:00:26,926 [Seb] Rabbi Michael Epstein. 13 00:00:27,009 --> 00:00:28,509 Yeah, I'm a man of God, 14 00:00:28,592 --> 00:00:30,093 but I'm also funny. 15 00:00:30,176 --> 00:00:31,759 He's not me. Peter's not me, 16 00:00:31,843 --> 00:00:32,801 Tara Lipinski's not me. 17 00:00:32,884 --> 00:00:33,926 I know a place 18 00:00:34,009 --> 00:00:35,343 where we can light up. 19 00:00:35,426 --> 00:00:37,176 Et voilà. 20 00:00:37,260 --> 00:00:39,884 [Will] No one moved in. It's just sitting here. 21 00:00:39,968 --> 00:00:42,592 [gas hissing] 22 00:00:44,385 --> 00:00:47,634 [Rabbi Epstein] Let there be light. 23 00:00:47,717 --> 00:00:51,051 Best beginning in the history of beginnings. 24 00:00:51,135 --> 00:00:52,717 Makes "Call me Ishmael" 25 00:00:52,801 --> 00:00:54,426 sound like the pickup line 26 00:00:54,509 --> 00:00:56,592 of a diseased sailor. 27 00:00:56,676 --> 00:00:59,385 Wait, do you guys smell that? 28 00:00:59,467 --> 00:01:00,843 [sniffs] 29 00:01:00,926 --> 00:01:02,843 Rotten eggs. 30 00:01:02,926 --> 00:01:06,301 [laughs] Sweet! 31 00:01:06,385 --> 00:01:08,009 ♪ whimsical music ♪ 32 00:01:08,093 --> 00:01:10,093 [laughter] 33 00:01:10,176 --> 00:01:12,176 Fight! 34 00:01:12,260 --> 00:01:17,385 ♪♪♪ 35 00:01:21,717 --> 00:01:23,176 [laughs] 36 00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:28,385 ♪♪♪ 37 00:01:29,260 --> 00:01:30,884 [Cassidy laughs] 38 00:01:30,968 --> 00:01:33,051 ♪♪♪ 39 00:01:33,135 --> 00:01:34,634 [Rabbi Epstein] A little later on, 40 00:01:34,717 --> 00:01:36,343 after floods 41 00:01:36,426 --> 00:01:38,843 and pestilence, 42 00:01:38,926 --> 00:01:41,051 and a gazillion "begot"s, 43 00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:42,676 God tells us 44 00:01:42,759 --> 00:01:45,093 "I make good, 45 00:01:45,176 --> 00:01:47,385 and I create evil." 46 00:01:47,467 --> 00:01:49,592 ♪ disquieting music ♪ 47 00:01:49,676 --> 00:01:52,260 [gas hissing] 48 00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:54,260 "If there is light, 49 00:01:54,343 --> 00:01:55,968 there is dark. 50 00:01:56,051 --> 00:01:57,385 [Cassidy] Gas! 51 00:01:57,467 --> 00:01:59,551 Wait, gas! 52 00:01:59,634 --> 00:02:01,592 - [lighter striking] - Oh, shit. 53 00:02:01,676 --> 00:02:03,135 [Rabbi Epstein] "If life, 54 00:02:03,218 --> 00:02:05,301 there is death." 55 00:02:05,385 --> 00:02:08,051 Wait, Will, don't! 56 00:02:08,135 --> 00:02:10,843 [Rabbi Epstein] But for every bad thing God does, 57 00:02:10,926 --> 00:02:13,135 he does a good thing, too. 58 00:02:13,218 --> 00:02:15,343 Whoa. 59 00:02:15,426 --> 00:02:18,634 [Rabbi Epstein] There is always a balance, 60 00:02:18,717 --> 00:02:20,592 and every action has its equal 61 00:02:20,676 --> 00:02:22,843 - and its opposite. - Your case 62 00:02:22,926 --> 00:02:24,968 is more aggressive. I'm so sorry. 63 00:02:25,051 --> 00:02:30,176 ♪♪♪ 64 00:02:30,926 --> 00:02:33,093 [Rabbi Epstein] During your tenure on Earth, 65 00:02:33,176 --> 00:02:34,843 you will never know 66 00:02:34,926 --> 00:02:36,676 how the events of your life 67 00:02:36,759 --> 00:02:39,843 add to and subtract from 68 00:02:39,926 --> 00:02:42,093 the...calculus 69 00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:43,634 of existence. 70 00:02:47,926 --> 00:02:49,717 Anyway, 71 00:02:49,801 --> 00:02:52,509 my girlfriend made these cookies. 72 00:02:52,592 --> 00:02:54,009 They embody the universe. 73 00:02:54,093 --> 00:02:55,551 Huh? 74 00:02:55,634 --> 00:02:58,592 They're good, but not great. 75 00:02:58,676 --> 00:03:01,634 ♪ whimsical music ♪ 76 00:03:01,717 --> 00:03:06,843 ♪♪♪ 77 00:03:17,343 --> 00:03:18,634 You okay, little Nunchuck? 78 00:03:18,717 --> 00:03:19,968 Why didn't we die? 79 00:03:20,051 --> 00:03:21,551 Yeah, why didn't we die? 80 00:03:21,634 --> 00:03:22,884 Dudes, 81 00:03:22,968 --> 00:03:25,926 I think it's that time. 82 00:03:26,009 --> 00:03:28,093 [both] Time to blaze and glaze. 83 00:03:30,385 --> 00:03:32,467 "Blaze and glaze"? 84 00:03:32,551 --> 00:03:34,634 I think the house did explode, 85 00:03:34,717 --> 00:03:36,218 and when it did, 86 00:03:36,301 --> 00:03:39,135 we left that universe behind, 87 00:03:39,218 --> 00:03:41,093 that there's a parallel reality 88 00:03:41,176 --> 00:03:43,343 in which we are deceased 89 00:03:43,426 --> 00:03:45,260 and BD does not persist in making 90 00:03:45,343 --> 00:03:46,759 high-end Judaica 91 00:03:46,843 --> 00:03:48,676 for my mother. 92 00:03:48,759 --> 00:03:52,717 Everyone deserves a nice menorah. 93 00:03:52,801 --> 00:03:55,218 Why are we calling him Nunchuck now? 94 00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:57,509 Will, Good Will Hunting, 95 00:03:57,592 --> 00:03:58,759 hunting. 96 00:03:58,843 --> 00:04:00,385 I hunt with nunchucks. 97 00:04:00,467 --> 00:04:01,385 Nunchuck. 98 00:04:01,467 --> 00:04:04,009 Oh, okay. 99 00:04:04,093 --> 00:04:07,218 [Bong Dude] Do you have a guardian angel, Cassidy? 100 00:04:09,176 --> 00:04:11,260 How about you, Nunchuck? 101 00:04:11,343 --> 00:04:13,467 Maybe. 102 00:04:13,551 --> 00:04:16,218 ♪ whimsical music ♪ 103 00:04:16,301 --> 00:04:21,509 ♪♪♪ 104 00:04:40,426 --> 00:04:42,301 [Will] Uh, hi. 105 00:04:42,385 --> 00:04:43,176 [Will] Uh, Havana? 106 00:04:43,260 --> 00:04:44,926 Uh, yeah? 107 00:04:45,009 --> 00:04:46,592 Do you remember me? 108 00:04:46,676 --> 00:04:49,592 I mean, I know who you are. 109 00:04:49,676 --> 00:04:51,426 Yeah, I had this brother Phil, 110 00:04:51,509 --> 00:04:52,634 - He, uh... - Right. 111 00:04:52,717 --> 00:04:54,801 He got shot. My sorrys. 112 00:04:54,884 --> 00:04:57,385 No. Car accident. 113 00:04:57,467 --> 00:04:58,301 Some kid got shot. 114 00:04:58,385 --> 00:05:00,551 Oh, I'm...sorry. 115 00:05:00,634 --> 00:05:01,467 That's okay. 116 00:05:01,551 --> 00:05:03,301 I think it was in Utah. 117 00:05:03,385 --> 00:05:04,884 How's your brother doing? 118 00:05:04,968 --> 00:05:06,218 He's dead. 119 00:05:06,301 --> 00:05:09,260 That's right. My sorrys. 120 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:12,093 Look, he had this list of girls. 121 00:05:12,176 --> 00:05:14,051 Well, he wanted to tell you something, 122 00:05:14,135 --> 00:05:15,343 but never got the chance. 123 00:05:15,426 --> 00:05:17,301 What? 124 00:05:25,676 --> 00:05:28,051 I'm not coming back here. 125 00:05:28,135 --> 00:05:30,135 It's just the first-line chemo. 126 00:05:30,218 --> 00:05:31,592 You'll have better luck with the second line treatment. 127 00:05:31,676 --> 00:05:33,509 I'm not coming back here, 128 00:05:33,592 --> 00:05:34,801 not on my own, anyways. 129 00:05:44,551 --> 00:05:46,009 Close your eyes. 130 00:05:47,176 --> 00:05:49,467 [Jeff] Take as much time as you want. 131 00:05:50,218 --> 00:05:53,301 Now tell me the story of the rest of your life. 132 00:05:54,968 --> 00:05:57,301 We leave the building, 133 00:05:57,385 --> 00:05:59,051 we go to the car, 134 00:05:59,135 --> 00:06:02,051 I rip up the parking ticket, I go home, 135 00:06:02,135 --> 00:06:05,009 I flush about 30 pounds of pills into the toilet. 136 00:06:06,009 --> 00:06:07,843 Keep going. 137 00:06:07,926 --> 00:06:10,301 I eat a bowl of brownie batter. 138 00:06:10,385 --> 00:06:13,676 I remember that I will have no legacy. 139 00:06:13,759 --> 00:06:15,467 I remember that I will be forgotten. 140 00:06:15,551 --> 00:06:18,926 I remember that I bought 141 00:06:19,009 --> 00:06:22,717 a gray wig to experience a semblance of old age, 142 00:06:22,801 --> 00:06:24,509 take out my bucket list, 143 00:06:24,592 --> 00:06:29,509 check off "Fucked Mr. Pickles." 144 00:06:29,592 --> 00:06:31,801 I buy a black dress, 145 00:06:31,884 --> 00:06:33,968 and wait. That's it. 146 00:06:37,592 --> 00:06:40,301 Keep going like that wasn't it. 147 00:06:43,467 --> 00:06:47,759 But that's it. 148 00:06:47,843 --> 00:06:50,260 - [flicks switch] - [lift whirs] 149 00:06:50,343 --> 00:06:53,509 [fan whirring] 150 00:06:58,093 --> 00:06:59,426 Vivian's not doing well. 151 00:06:59,509 --> 00:07:00,926 Oh. 152 00:07:01,009 --> 00:07:03,676 Well, she's quietly dying of cancer. 153 00:07:03,759 --> 00:07:05,634 It would be weird if she were. 154 00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,135 [breathless laugh] 155 00:07:07,218 --> 00:07:09,051 I don't want her to go. 156 00:07:09,135 --> 00:07:12,009 [Deirdre] Oh, I'm sorry. Of course you don't. 157 00:07:15,634 --> 00:07:16,717 This is hers. 158 00:07:16,801 --> 00:07:19,093 Can you make her old? 159 00:07:22,301 --> 00:07:23,843 Keep thinking about 160 00:07:23,926 --> 00:07:26,509 all the conversations that we're not gonna have. 161 00:07:28,343 --> 00:07:31,426 You know, it's like... 162 00:07:31,509 --> 00:07:34,301 what the story of our life would be, 163 00:07:34,385 --> 00:07:36,135 yours and mine, 164 00:07:36,218 --> 00:07:39,884 if half the pages were ripped out. 165 00:07:39,968 --> 00:07:42,843 I-I think I know what you want. 166 00:07:44,176 --> 00:07:46,717 I know you do. 167 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,884 [choked voice] If you ever wanna talk, 168 00:07:49,968 --> 00:07:51,467 about anything, 169 00:07:51,551 --> 00:07:53,343 you can talk to me. 170 00:07:53,426 --> 00:07:55,467 Okay. 171 00:07:56,968 --> 00:07:59,051 I hate what you're doing to me. 172 00:08:00,717 --> 00:08:05,592 I don't want to see another me on ice. 173 00:08:05,676 --> 00:08:08,676 So I'm gonna put a stop to all that today. 174 00:08:08,759 --> 00:08:11,634 ♪ light orchestral music ♪ 175 00:08:11,717 --> 00:08:16,884 ♪♪♪ 176 00:08:20,051 --> 00:08:22,260 [children chattering] 177 00:08:22,343 --> 00:08:24,801 Hi. 178 00:08:24,884 --> 00:08:26,759 - [Tara] What's your name? - Oh. 179 00:08:26,843 --> 00:08:30,093 You want me to sign that, too? Oh. 180 00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:31,884 You know, she started her own chapter 181 00:08:31,968 --> 00:08:33,843 of the Pickles Platoon. 182 00:08:33,926 --> 00:08:35,676 She organized a blood drive 183 00:08:35,759 --> 00:08:38,218 after the Waco killings. 184 00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:40,717 She filled three trucks of blood. 185 00:08:40,801 --> 00:08:43,343 Wow, that's a lot of blood. 186 00:08:44,884 --> 00:08:47,467 That's her twin Sara in the otter. 187 00:08:47,551 --> 00:08:48,926 Hm. 188 00:08:49,009 --> 00:08:50,009 [Jeff] I didn't know 189 00:08:50,093 --> 00:08:51,301 she had a twin sister. 190 00:08:51,385 --> 00:08:52,926 Hm. 191 00:08:53,009 --> 00:08:58,135 ♪♪♪ 192 00:09:03,884 --> 00:09:05,385 [Tara] Who wants their jar signed? 193 00:09:05,467 --> 00:09:06,509 [child] I do! 194 00:09:06,592 --> 00:09:07,759 [Jeff] I guess it's 195 00:09:07,843 --> 00:09:08,592 pretty confusing, though, 196 00:09:08,676 --> 00:09:09,843 seeing the me on TV 197 00:09:09,926 --> 00:09:11,759 and the me on the ice 198 00:09:11,843 --> 00:09:13,467 and then the me right here in front of you. 199 00:09:13,551 --> 00:09:15,301 No, you're Mr. Pickles, 200 00:09:15,385 --> 00:09:17,717 and that's a woman in a Mr. Pickles costume. 201 00:09:17,801 --> 00:09:19,426 [Ilsa] You're Santa for real, 202 00:09:19,509 --> 00:09:21,343 and that's like Santa at the mall. 203 00:09:21,426 --> 00:09:24,051 Mr. Pickles, Mr. Pickles On Ice. 204 00:09:25,135 --> 00:09:27,717 You're a very intelligent girl. 205 00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:29,634 No, I'm of average intelligence. 206 00:09:29,717 --> 00:09:31,884 I should be smarter. 207 00:09:31,968 --> 00:09:33,634 If we feel good about ourselves, we can 208 00:09:33,717 --> 00:09:35,467 be anything we want to be. 209 00:09:35,551 --> 00:09:38,218 That's exactly what Ice Pickles said. 210 00:09:39,467 --> 00:09:40,592 She said that? 211 00:09:40,676 --> 00:09:42,093 Mm-hm. I like her voice 212 00:09:42,176 --> 00:09:44,676 better than yours. 213 00:09:44,759 --> 00:09:47,385 ♪♪♪ 214 00:09:47,467 --> 00:09:49,801 Must be fun, 215 00:09:49,884 --> 00:09:51,093 working with your sister. 216 00:09:51,176 --> 00:09:52,634 Mm? I work 217 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,301 with my sister too, Sara. 218 00:09:54,385 --> 00:09:56,093 Oh, it's "Sah-ra." 219 00:09:56,176 --> 00:09:58,093 Tara does not like me to rhyme. 220 00:09:58,176 --> 00:09:59,759 That's not true. Just want you 221 00:09:59,843 --> 00:10:01,385 to enjoy your own identity. 222 00:10:01,467 --> 00:10:03,093 Tara let me join the tour 223 00:10:03,176 --> 00:10:05,343 after I lost my job in the army. 224 00:10:05,426 --> 00:10:06,759 She was emotionally discharged. 225 00:10:06,843 --> 00:10:08,343 That's not what they call it. 226 00:10:08,426 --> 00:10:10,717 Well, I don't know army words. 227 00:10:10,801 --> 00:10:13,551 I developed a battle-based eating disorder 228 00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:15,676 and Tara taught me to ice skate, 229 00:10:15,759 --> 00:10:18,884 because that is her language of care. 230 00:10:18,968 --> 00:10:22,509 Once upon a time, my sister did a similar gesture for me, 231 00:10:22,592 --> 00:10:24,759 and it changed my life forever. 232 00:10:24,843 --> 00:10:25,884 After only two years, she was competing 233 00:10:25,968 --> 00:10:27,301 at the highest amateur level. 234 00:10:27,385 --> 00:10:28,717 [Tara] She came in fourth 235 00:10:28,801 --> 00:10:29,717 at the Sarajevo co-ed. 236 00:10:29,801 --> 00:10:30,884 I tied for bronze. 237 00:10:30,968 --> 00:10:33,093 That is what I said. 238 00:10:33,176 --> 00:10:35,592 I defeated Michel Kwan. 239 00:10:35,676 --> 00:10:37,135 Oh, I've heard of her. 240 00:10:37,218 --> 00:10:38,135 [Tara] No, you haven't. 241 00:10:38,218 --> 00:10:40,051 He's 47 and French. 242 00:10:40,135 --> 00:10:42,218 [parakeet] Coo-coo-ka-choo. Coo-coo-ka-choo. 243 00:10:42,301 --> 00:10:44,385 That a Beatles fan underneath this veil? 244 00:10:44,467 --> 00:10:46,551 That's our parakeet, 245 00:10:46,634 --> 00:10:48,218 Tara-keet. 246 00:10:48,301 --> 00:10:50,759 She says "our," but I was the one 247 00:10:50,843 --> 00:10:52,676 that rescued you from that pet store. 248 00:10:52,759 --> 00:10:53,843 Tara paid for her, 249 00:10:53,926 --> 00:10:55,343 but I picked her out, 250 00:10:55,426 --> 00:10:57,467 because we're both prone to seizures. 251 00:10:57,551 --> 00:10:58,551 Ah--oh. 252 00:10:58,634 --> 00:11:00,759 Hello, sweetness. 253 00:11:00,843 --> 00:11:02,509 Hello, cute Tara-keet. 254 00:11:02,592 --> 00:11:04,176 Hello. 255 00:11:04,260 --> 00:11:06,592 Hello, sweetness! Coo-coo-ka-choo. 256 00:11:06,676 --> 00:11:08,260 Look at that! 257 00:11:08,343 --> 00:11:10,385 Your whole family is a pantheon of talent. 258 00:11:10,467 --> 00:11:11,676 - [Sara] Mm. - [laughs] 259 00:11:11,759 --> 00:11:12,968 [knocking] 260 00:11:13,051 --> 00:11:14,135 [stage manager] Ms. Lipinski, 261 00:11:14,218 --> 00:11:15,717 they're asking for both of you. 262 00:11:15,801 --> 00:11:17,676 Oh, well, 263 00:11:17,759 --> 00:11:19,260 good luck out there. 264 00:11:19,343 --> 00:11:21,385 Um, very proud of what you're doing. 265 00:11:21,467 --> 00:11:24,884 I'll start walking, since it takes me longer. 266 00:11:24,968 --> 00:11:29,093 [Tara-keet] And up. 267 00:11:29,176 --> 00:11:32,093 - [Tara-keet squawks] - [laughs] 268 00:11:35,926 --> 00:11:38,385 - [laughs] - [Tara-keet squawks] 269 00:11:38,467 --> 00:11:40,676 I know how difficult it must be for you to let me 270 00:11:40,759 --> 00:11:42,260 represent you to thousands of young, 271 00:11:42,343 --> 00:11:43,218 impressionable minds. 272 00:11:43,301 --> 00:11:44,218 [laughs] Yeah. 273 00:11:44,301 --> 00:11:46,218 But as a former Love-tenant 274 00:11:46,301 --> 00:11:48,009 in the Pickles Platoon, 275 00:11:48,093 --> 00:11:49,843 let me say again, 276 00:11:49,926 --> 00:11:51,467 thank you for your faith. 277 00:11:51,551 --> 00:11:53,218 [Tara-keet squawks] 278 00:11:53,301 --> 00:11:56,009 Well, thank you for mastering my autograph. 279 00:11:56,093 --> 00:11:57,717 - It's all about the P. - Yeah. 280 00:11:57,801 --> 00:12:00,676 Gotta watch out. It can become a D. 281 00:12:04,551 --> 00:12:06,385 Pull the trigger, you fat cunt! 282 00:12:10,385 --> 00:12:12,426 Okay. 283 00:12:12,509 --> 00:12:14,968 Make her old. 284 00:12:15,051 --> 00:12:17,426 - [shrill clarinet notes] - Ah! 285 00:12:17,509 --> 00:12:20,467 [atonal clarinet continues playing] 286 00:12:20,551 --> 00:12:24,759 ♪♪♪ 287 00:12:24,843 --> 00:12:27,509 [Scott crying] 288 00:12:27,592 --> 00:12:30,218 ♪♪♪ 289 00:12:30,301 --> 00:12:31,759 You all right? 290 00:12:31,843 --> 00:12:37,009 ♪♪♪ 291 00:12:37,093 --> 00:12:39,467 Shut up! Shut the fuck up! 292 00:12:39,551 --> 00:12:41,426 [Deirdre] Shut up! 293 00:12:47,009 --> 00:12:49,551 Throw up, fat cunt! 294 00:12:49,634 --> 00:12:51,968 Bend the knee, bitch! [squawks] 295 00:12:52,051 --> 00:12:55,301 Can you say a nice word? 296 00:12:55,385 --> 00:12:56,467 You're a whore. 297 00:12:56,551 --> 00:12:58,759 [chirps] 298 00:12:58,843 --> 00:13:01,467 Can you say "love"? 299 00:13:01,551 --> 00:13:03,093 Cunt, cunt, cunt! 300 00:13:03,176 --> 00:13:05,759 Fat bitch, whore. [squawks] 301 00:13:05,843 --> 00:13:07,093 Say "love." 302 00:13:07,176 --> 00:13:08,676 - [squawks] - Love, love. 303 00:13:08,759 --> 00:13:11,009 - Oh, love. - Your name is "Sah-ra," 304 00:13:11,093 --> 00:13:13,260 not Sara! Never rhyme, cunt. 305 00:13:13,343 --> 00:13:15,135 ♪ Bauhaus' "Monkey (Poison Pen)" ♪ 306 00:13:15,218 --> 00:13:16,093 [Tara-keet] Bend the knee, bitch. 307 00:13:16,176 --> 00:13:20,634 Cunt, cunt, cunt. [squawks] 308 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,843 [Tara-keet] Cunt, cunt. 309 00:13:22,926 --> 00:13:24,968 [Tara-keet] Cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt, cunt. 310 00:13:25,051 --> 00:13:27,968 Cunt, cunt! Cunt, cunt. 311 00:13:28,051 --> 00:13:30,759 [frantic squawking] 312 00:13:30,843 --> 00:13:33,135 ♪♪♪ 313 00:13:33,218 --> 00:13:37,968 [frantic squawking] 314 00:13:44,218 --> 00:13:49,301 ♪♪♪ 315 00:13:59,592 --> 00:14:03,467 ♪ Too much pressure too soon ♪ 316 00:14:03,551 --> 00:14:06,260 ♪♪♪ 317 00:14:06,343 --> 00:14:10,592 ♪ Too much pressure too soon ♪ 318 00:14:10,676 --> 00:14:12,634 ♪ Stop the rhythm with the matter machine ♪ 319 00:14:12,717 --> 00:14:14,426 ♪ Stop the rhythm with the matter machine ♪ 320 00:14:14,509 --> 00:14:16,218 ♪ Stop the rhythm with the matter machine ♪ 321 00:14:16,301 --> 00:14:18,385 ♪ Stop the rhythm with the matter machine ♪ 322 00:14:18,467 --> 00:14:20,843 ♪ Stop the rhythm with the matter machine ♪ 323 00:14:20,926 --> 00:14:22,467 I want my head back. 324 00:14:22,551 --> 00:14:24,343 [coughs] What? 325 00:14:24,426 --> 00:14:27,176 Your sister is not a whore. She's a veteran. 326 00:14:27,260 --> 00:14:29,467 And you should never ask a bulimic to kneel. 327 00:14:29,551 --> 00:14:31,009 It could trigger her gastric reflex. 328 00:14:31,093 --> 00:14:32,801 Please don't take that. I mean, 329 00:14:32,884 --> 00:14:35,634 I can't see anything out of it when I'm skating, 330 00:14:35,717 --> 00:14:37,592 but--but the way people look at you 331 00:14:37,676 --> 00:14:39,634 off the ice. 332 00:14:39,717 --> 00:14:42,426 It's like you're always wearing a gold medal. 333 00:14:42,509 --> 00:14:44,717 I like being you. 334 00:14:44,801 --> 00:14:46,093 [Tara] Please. 335 00:14:46,176 --> 00:14:48,843 Attention, Love-tenant. 336 00:14:48,926 --> 00:14:50,801 You are Tara Lipinski, 337 00:14:50,884 --> 00:14:53,260 and you remember the motto of the Pickle Platoon? 338 00:14:53,343 --> 00:14:56,634 No, no, I don't. 339 00:14:56,717 --> 00:15:00,009 Yes. Yes, you do. 340 00:15:03,717 --> 00:15:05,218 [sighs] 341 00:15:12,176 --> 00:15:13,843 [Tara sighs] 342 00:15:15,551 --> 00:15:18,509 ♪ whimsical music ♪ 343 00:15:18,592 --> 00:15:23,467 ♪♪♪ 344 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,717 [cell phone rings] 345 00:15:28,801 --> 00:15:30,801 ♪♪♪ 346 00:15:30,884 --> 00:15:32,467 Hello? 347 00:15:32,551 --> 00:15:35,385 Pickles On Ice requires a Mr. Pickles, Jeff. 348 00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:37,801 Otherwise, it's just Tara Lipinski 349 00:15:37,884 --> 00:15:39,801 ice dancing through a fever dream. 350 00:15:39,884 --> 00:15:42,093 [Jeff] Can I tell you something I've learned 351 00:15:42,176 --> 00:15:44,467 over the years? People who are older than me 352 00:15:44,551 --> 00:15:46,634 question what I say. 353 00:15:46,717 --> 00:15:49,426 People who are younger listen to what I tell them. 354 00:15:49,509 --> 00:15:51,093 That means every day, 355 00:15:51,176 --> 00:15:53,260 I get a little bit more powerful, 356 00:15:53,343 --> 00:15:55,051 and you get a little older. 357 00:15:55,135 --> 00:15:57,051 What did you say to her? 358 00:15:57,135 --> 00:15:59,467 Do you remember the motto of the Pickles Platoon? 359 00:15:59,551 --> 00:16:01,426 [Seb] There's a motto? 360 00:16:01,509 --> 00:16:03,093 "Always be yourself." 361 00:16:03,176 --> 00:16:08,260 ♪♪♪ 362 00:16:25,426 --> 00:16:28,093 ♪ music continues ethereally ♪ 363 00:16:28,176 --> 00:16:33,301 ♪♪♪ 364 00:16:38,551 --> 00:16:40,843 Now watch this, Jeff. 365 00:16:40,926 --> 00:16:41,926 A horse? 366 00:16:42,009 --> 00:16:43,592 What do you mean, a horse? 367 00:16:43,676 --> 00:16:45,717 Oh, your horse is named Divorce. 368 00:16:45,801 --> 00:16:48,551 That's a funny name for a horse. 369 00:16:48,634 --> 00:16:51,884 Dee Dee, I bought this dress in Palermo. 370 00:16:51,968 --> 00:16:54,385 I don't care! 371 00:16:54,467 --> 00:16:56,385 - [Deirdre] Just go. - [Mom] Stop! 372 00:16:56,467 --> 00:16:57,467 [Deirdre] No, just go! 373 00:16:57,551 --> 00:16:59,135 ♪♪♪ 374 00:16:59,218 --> 00:17:01,218 [Mom] I'll be back, honey. 375 00:17:01,301 --> 00:17:02,509 [Deirdre] No, you won't. 376 00:17:02,592 --> 00:17:04,343 I don't care if I ever see you again! 377 00:17:04,426 --> 00:17:06,385 I have a horse named Divorce. 378 00:17:06,467 --> 00:17:08,301 It's a funny name for a horse. 379 00:17:08,385 --> 00:17:10,176 - [Mom] Stop. - [Deirdre] I hate you! 380 00:17:10,260 --> 00:17:12,592 - [Mom] Dee Dee... - But he's a funny horse. 381 00:17:12,676 --> 00:17:14,176 - He has a snaggletooth. - [Mom] Dee Dee? 382 00:17:14,260 --> 00:17:16,717 If you're gonna go, go. Get in the car. 383 00:17:16,801 --> 00:17:18,717 We know you're not coming back in two weeks, 384 00:17:18,801 --> 00:17:21,051 and we know you're not coming back in a million years. 385 00:17:21,135 --> 00:17:22,926 I'm going on a short trip. 386 00:17:23,009 --> 00:17:25,467 I'm going to see my sister in Niagara Falls. 387 00:17:25,551 --> 00:17:26,509 I don't believe you! 388 00:17:26,592 --> 00:17:28,343 I need a break, Dee Dee. 389 00:17:28,426 --> 00:17:30,467 - I need a break, Dee Dee. - [Mom] I need 390 00:17:30,551 --> 00:17:32,926 - time to myself. - I need time to myself. 391 00:17:33,009 --> 00:17:34,968 - Just go. - I'm coming back. 392 00:17:35,051 --> 00:17:37,051 You flip over this suitcase, and maybe I zip you inside, 393 00:17:37,135 --> 00:17:38,592 toss you over the falls. 394 00:17:38,676 --> 00:17:41,218 Maybe there's... a parachute inside 395 00:17:41,301 --> 00:17:42,926 and you float over the falls. 396 00:17:43,009 --> 00:17:44,843 - [Deirdre] Just leave! - And go... 397 00:17:44,926 --> 00:17:46,051 anywhere you want to go. 398 00:17:46,135 --> 00:17:47,135 [Mom] Stop. 399 00:17:47,218 --> 00:17:49,176 [Deirdre screams] 400 00:17:49,260 --> 00:17:51,968 ♪ disquieting music ♪ 401 00:17:52,051 --> 00:17:54,426 ♪♪♪ 402 00:17:54,509 --> 00:17:56,009 [knocking] 403 00:17:56,093 --> 00:17:57,926 [Mom] You don't know everything, kiddo. 404 00:17:58,009 --> 00:18:00,968 [Deirdre crying] 405 00:18:01,051 --> 00:18:03,634 ♪♪♪ 406 00:18:05,343 --> 00:18:09,176 You know everything, Deirdre. 407 00:18:09,260 --> 00:18:12,093 You know all there is to know. 408 00:18:12,176 --> 00:18:14,801 I don't want her to go. 409 00:18:14,884 --> 00:18:17,759 ♪ warm music ♪ 410 00:18:17,843 --> 00:18:22,759 ♪♪♪ 411 00:18:24,135 --> 00:18:25,926 I'm sorry I yelled at you. 412 00:18:26,009 --> 00:18:30,926 ♪♪♪ 413 00:18:32,301 --> 00:18:34,426 Will you forgive me, please? 414 00:18:40,968 --> 00:18:43,051 Thank you. 415 00:18:45,968 --> 00:18:47,592 Thank you. 416 00:18:50,176 --> 00:18:53,426 I told Dad the thing you told me not to tell him. 417 00:18:53,509 --> 00:18:55,260 What thing? 418 00:18:55,343 --> 00:18:58,051 The secret handshake I'm not supposed to talk about. 419 00:18:59,843 --> 00:19:01,801 What did he say? 420 00:19:01,884 --> 00:19:03,509 He started to laugh about it. 421 00:19:03,592 --> 00:19:05,843 Then I told him that I told you, 422 00:19:05,926 --> 00:19:07,634 and he got really quiet. 423 00:19:10,343 --> 00:19:14,634 ♪♪♪ 424 00:19:14,717 --> 00:19:16,884 Hey, uh, Robyn, right? 425 00:19:16,968 --> 00:19:18,551 Yeah. 426 00:19:18,634 --> 00:19:20,301 Yeah, I used to have this brother. 427 00:19:20,385 --> 00:19:21,843 Uh, Phil. 428 00:19:21,926 --> 00:19:25,218 [brightly] Yeah. [glumly] Yeah. 429 00:19:25,301 --> 00:19:28,260 ♪ whimsical music ♪ 430 00:19:28,343 --> 00:19:33,467 ♪♪♪ 431 00:19:40,176 --> 00:19:41,676 [Jeff chuckles] 432 00:19:44,843 --> 00:19:47,968 Oh, I love what you did with the eyes. 433 00:19:48,051 --> 00:19:50,717 [laughs] 434 00:19:50,801 --> 00:19:52,843 Everything okay? 435 00:19:55,343 --> 00:19:58,759 It's Maddy. I really... 436 00:19:58,843 --> 00:20:01,135 I mean, I yelled-- I really yelled at her. 437 00:20:01,218 --> 00:20:03,717 I just yelled at her, so... 438 00:20:03,801 --> 00:20:05,676 You're a good mom. 439 00:20:16,260 --> 00:20:18,676 Uh, Jeff? Hello? 440 00:20:22,260 --> 00:20:24,467 Does that mean "sit here"? 441 00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:34,759 [Jeff, falsetto] Oh, hi there. 442 00:20:34,843 --> 00:20:38,093 You must be Vivian the Brave. 443 00:20:38,176 --> 00:20:40,009 My friend Mr. Pickles told me 444 00:20:40,093 --> 00:20:42,135 a lot about you. 445 00:20:42,218 --> 00:20:44,926 Oh, well, he hasn't mentioned you. 446 00:20:45,009 --> 00:20:49,176 Well, that makes sense, because I just moved here. 447 00:20:49,260 --> 00:20:52,676 My name is Viva Lost Pages, 448 00:20:52,759 --> 00:20:54,634 and I'm the new librarian 449 00:20:54,717 --> 00:20:58,676 in Pickle Barrel Falls. 450 00:20:58,759 --> 00:21:01,968 Are you wearing my sweater, Viva? 451 00:21:02,051 --> 00:21:04,218 I am. 452 00:21:04,301 --> 00:21:06,968 It's the only sweater I have. 453 00:21:07,051 --> 00:21:08,968 I love it so much. 454 00:21:09,051 --> 00:21:10,759 I'm going to wear it 455 00:21:10,843 --> 00:21:13,884 tomorrow, and the next day, 456 00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:16,467 and the day after that, and the day after that. 457 00:21:16,551 --> 00:21:20,051 I'm going to wear it here 458 00:21:20,135 --> 00:21:24,551 for years and years. 459 00:21:24,634 --> 00:21:27,843 Unless you want it...back? 460 00:21:29,467 --> 00:21:31,759 No, that's okay. You keep it. 461 00:21:31,843 --> 00:21:32,717 Thank you! 462 00:21:32,801 --> 00:21:34,218 You see, 463 00:21:34,301 --> 00:21:35,759 I love my job, 464 00:21:35,843 --> 00:21:39,260 but I--ah, ah, ah! 465 00:21:39,343 --> 00:21:43,051 Ah! [yells] 466 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:47,759 I'm so clumsy... [sniffs] 467 00:21:47,843 --> 00:21:49,592 ...that sometimes I lose the pages 468 00:21:49,676 --> 00:21:52,009 to the books I'm supposed to take care of, 469 00:21:52,093 --> 00:21:53,717 and it's so hard 470 00:21:53,801 --> 00:21:56,260 to replace them in the right order. 471 00:21:56,343 --> 00:21:57,676 That means 472 00:21:57,759 --> 00:21:59,759 I'm always finishing 473 00:21:59,843 --> 00:22:02,676 other people's stories. [gasps softly] 474 00:22:02,759 --> 00:22:04,801 Maybe you can help me. 475 00:22:06,551 --> 00:22:07,843 [laughs] 476 00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:10,260 Yeah, maybe it's more exciting 477 00:22:10,343 --> 00:22:13,093 if some stories end abruptly, 478 00:22:13,176 --> 00:22:15,176 even mid-sentence. 479 00:22:15,260 --> 00:22:17,467 No. 480 00:22:17,551 --> 00:22:20,218 I don't think that. 481 00:22:20,301 --> 00:22:22,176 I believe 482 00:22:22,260 --> 00:22:24,634 that even when the pages are gone, 483 00:22:24,717 --> 00:22:27,843 the story goes on. 484 00:22:30,009 --> 00:22:33,843 ♪ None of us knows how our story will end ♪ 485 00:22:33,926 --> 00:22:36,051 ♪ The sights we will see ♪ 486 00:22:36,135 --> 00:22:38,634 ♪ The times we will spend ♪ 487 00:22:38,717 --> 00:22:41,135 ♪ But if you close your eyes tight ♪ 488 00:22:41,218 --> 00:22:44,801 ♪ And say what you see ♪ 489 00:22:44,884 --> 00:22:49,592 ♪ Your story becomes ♪ 490 00:22:49,676 --> 00:22:52,301 ♪ What you want it ♪ 491 00:22:52,385 --> 00:22:55,634 ♪ To be ♪ 492 00:22:55,717 --> 00:22:58,592 The great book of Vivian! 493 00:22:58,676 --> 00:23:02,884 This-zz is-zz my favorite book! 494 00:23:02,968 --> 00:23:05,759 ♪ Maybe it ends-zz in a party ♪ 495 00:23:05,843 --> 00:23:08,843 ♪ Maybe it ends in a cry ♪ 496 00:23:08,926 --> 00:23:11,509 ♪ Maybe it ends-zz with ennui ♪ 497 00:23:11,592 --> 00:23:14,592 ♪ Or maybe it ends with a sigh ♪ 498 00:23:14,676 --> 00:23:18,135 ♪ Maybe she's left in a pickle ♪ 499 00:23:18,218 --> 00:23:21,426 ♪ And if she likes pickles, that's great ♪ 500 00:23:21,509 --> 00:23:24,759 ♪ Or maybe it ends in a meal ♪ 501 00:23:24,843 --> 00:23:29,009 ♪ Where you never know what's on the plate ♪ 502 00:23:29,093 --> 00:23:32,551 ♪ Maybe she runs in a marathon ♪ 503 00:23:32,634 --> 00:23:35,509 ♪ Maybe she comes in last ♪ 504 00:23:35,592 --> 00:23:39,926 ♪ Maybe it takes her eight hours ♪ 505 00:23:40,009 --> 00:23:43,301 [Hopscotch] But compared to a sasquatch, 506 00:23:43,385 --> 00:23:45,176 that's fast. 507 00:23:45,260 --> 00:23:47,426 [laughs] 508 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:49,884 ♪ Maybe it ends in a wedding ♪ 509 00:23:49,968 --> 00:23:54,634 ♪ Maybe it ends in true love ♪ 510 00:23:54,717 --> 00:23:57,135 ♪ Maybe it ends ♪ 511 00:23:57,218 --> 00:23:59,717 ♪ With a bunch of new friends ♪ 512 00:23:59,801 --> 00:24:03,717 ♪ Who give her new ends ♪ 513 00:24:04,634 --> 00:24:08,218 ♪ To dream of ♪ 514 00:24:08,301 --> 00:24:13,218 ♪ [all vocalizing gently] ♪ 515 00:24:13,301 --> 00:24:18,135 ♪♪♪ 516 00:24:18,676 --> 00:24:21,218 So now it's your turn 517 00:24:21,301 --> 00:24:23,801 to keep going. 518 00:24:23,884 --> 00:24:27,717 Take ten seconds and finish your story. 519 00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:31,343 Close your eyes. 520 00:24:31,426 --> 00:24:33,051 I'll watch the clock. 521 00:24:40,676 --> 00:24:41,926 I'm... 522 00:24:42,009 --> 00:24:43,759 [sound of plane taking off] 523 00:24:43,843 --> 00:24:47,093 ...on a plane. [laughs] 524 00:24:47,176 --> 00:24:50,634 Flying first class. I've never flown first class. 525 00:24:50,717 --> 00:24:53,301 They give you a real fork. 526 00:24:53,385 --> 00:24:55,801 Keep going. 527 00:24:58,467 --> 00:25:00,218 I'm on my way to Honduras 528 00:25:00,301 --> 00:25:03,968 to zip-line through the rainforest. 529 00:25:04,051 --> 00:25:05,509 Keep going. 530 00:25:05,592 --> 00:25:07,343 [birds chirping] 531 00:25:07,426 --> 00:25:09,759 And there's an area there 532 00:25:09,843 --> 00:25:12,301 called Yoro, 533 00:25:12,385 --> 00:25:15,801 and once a year, they have a festival-- 534 00:25:15,884 --> 00:25:18,009 Lluvia de Peces-- 535 00:25:18,093 --> 00:25:21,843 where it rains fish. [laughs] 536 00:25:21,926 --> 00:25:24,843 It really happens. They can't explain it. 537 00:25:24,926 --> 00:25:28,009 [rain pattering] 538 00:25:30,551 --> 00:25:33,176 And I've always wanted to see that. 539 00:25:35,717 --> 00:25:38,343 ♪ tender music ♪ 540 00:25:38,426 --> 00:25:43,343 ♪♪♪ 541 00:25:43,426 --> 00:25:45,176 Keep going. 542 00:25:45,260 --> 00:25:47,843 ♪♪♪ 543 00:25:47,926 --> 00:25:51,551 Keep going. 544 00:25:51,634 --> 00:25:54,176 [Rabbi Epstein] The universe, we forget, 545 00:25:54,260 --> 00:25:56,676 was not created once 546 00:25:56,759 --> 00:25:58,176 and for all time. 547 00:25:58,260 --> 00:26:01,426 It is created again 548 00:26:01,509 --> 00:26:03,551 every single day 549 00:26:03,634 --> 00:26:05,717 in each of us. 550 00:26:05,801 --> 00:26:08,093 ♪♪♪ 551 00:26:08,176 --> 00:26:10,260 So every day, 552 00:26:10,343 --> 00:26:11,926 let us wake 553 00:26:12,009 --> 00:26:15,634 and light that same fire of creation 554 00:26:15,717 --> 00:26:18,467 in ourselves. 555 00:26:18,551 --> 00:26:22,884 Be thankful that the darkness lives there, too, 556 00:26:22,968 --> 00:26:24,843 because without it, 557 00:26:24,926 --> 00:26:28,301 the flicker would remain invisible. 558 00:26:28,385 --> 00:26:30,051 Light? 559 00:26:30,135 --> 00:26:32,759 Light is in love 560 00:26:32,843 --> 00:26:34,634 with the dark, 561 00:26:34,717 --> 00:26:36,592 and the dark 562 00:26:36,676 --> 00:26:39,385 cannot not chase 563 00:26:39,467 --> 00:26:40,926 the flame. 564 00:26:41,009 --> 00:26:46,176 ♪♪♪ 565 00:27:02,843 --> 00:27:07,551 And because God created a world in harmony, 566 00:27:07,634 --> 00:27:10,759 he made sure that good and evil 567 00:27:10,843 --> 00:27:14,759 cannot and will not 568 00:27:14,843 --> 00:27:16,551 devour the other. 569 00:27:16,634 --> 00:27:21,759 ♪♪♪ 570 00:27:22,884 --> 00:27:25,801 [disposal churns] 571 00:27:25,884 --> 00:27:30,968 ♪♪♪ 572 00:27:46,843 --> 00:27:49,467 ♪ Bauhaus' "Monkey (Poison Pen)" ♪ 573 00:27:49,551 --> 00:27:53,926 ♪♪♪ 574 00:27:54,009 --> 00:27:57,634 ♪ Too much pressure too soon ♪ 575 00:27:57,717 --> 00:28:02,759 ♪♪♪ 576 00:28:05,801 --> 00:28:10,426 ♪ Too much pressure too soon ♪ 577 00:28:10,509 --> 00:28:12,717 ♪ My face on down ♪ 578 00:28:12,801 --> 00:28:14,467 ♪ In reverse ♪ 579 00:28:14,551 --> 00:28:17,717 ♪ Playing to last year's LP ♪ 580 00:28:17,801 --> 00:28:19,301 ♪ In apprehension ♪ 581 00:28:19,385 --> 00:28:21,467 ♪ Of the frigid air machine ♪ 582 00:28:21,551 --> 00:28:24,592 ♪ Will he make a monkey out of me? ♪ 583 00:28:24,676 --> 00:28:29,509 ♪♪♪ 584 00:28:29,559 --> 00:28:34,109 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 37866

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