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00:00:02,176 --> 00:00:05,048
Previously
onCrazy Ex-Girlfriend...Do you know any good therapists?
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00:00:05,092 --> 00:00:08,138
Josh, it's not about checking
a box and getting a fancy label
3
00:00:08,182 --> 00:00:09,531
for what's
bothering you.
4
00:00:09,574 --> 00:00:10,662
Look within.
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00:00:10,706 --> 00:00:12,490
REBECCA:
I still love you, Nathaniel,
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00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,101
but I meant what I said
in the courtroom.
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00:00:14,144 --> 00:00:15,798
You know? About being a better
person-- I want to do that.
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00:00:15,841 --> 00:00:17,452
Can you stop overthinking
everything?
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00:00:17,495 --> 00:00:19,541
Okay, I'm not
overthinking things.
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00:00:19,584 --> 00:00:21,412
I'm trying to be a good person.Really?
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Because from where I'm sitting,
every time we're happy,
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00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,199
you try to ruin it.
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00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:26,548
I don't know how
insurance works.
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00:00:26,591 --> 00:00:27,984
Me neither.
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00:00:28,028 --> 00:00:30,334
We can figure
those things out.
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Me and you.
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We'd like to offer
you the position
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00:00:33,729 --> 00:00:34,904
of junior partner.
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REBECCA:
This is objectively
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00:00:36,427 --> 00:00:38,342
fantastic, right? Wow.
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00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:39,691
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
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00:00:39,735 --> 00:00:42,477
Wow. I am sorry,
I just need to get a smoothie.
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00:00:42,520 --> 00:00:44,435
I didn't have any breakfast,
and I-I get weird
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00:00:44,479 --> 00:00:46,133
Where are
you going?when I don't have protein.
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00:00:46,176 --> 00:00:47,699
I'm just... I was going to...
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00:00:47,743 --> 00:00:50,006
I'm just going
to the deli on Broadway.
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00:00:50,050 --> 00:00:52,269
You like to work? That's
the first I've heard of it.
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00:00:52,313 --> 00:00:54,271
Uh, I got a hop off. I'm really
working hard here. Bye.
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00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:55,838
So, I cannot be here today,
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00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:58,058
but let's reconnect tomorrow
and get to know each other.
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00:00:58,101 --> 00:01:00,321
Can we get back to work,
or am I boring you?
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Let's just do this
stupid meeting
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00:01:02,018 --> 00:01:04,020
with these stupid clients!
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00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:07,023
♪ Meet Rebecca
35
00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:09,504
♪ She's the coolest girl
in the world ♪
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00:01:09,547 --> 00:01:13,464
♪ Wait, wrong Rebecca
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00:01:13,508 --> 00:01:15,945
♪ It's this one over here
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00:01:15,988 --> 00:01:18,817
♪ She's spunky, she's sweet,
a generous friend ♪
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00:01:18,861 --> 00:01:21,342
♪ Oh, but there
she looks kind of mean ♪
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00:01:21,385 --> 00:01:22,995
Hmm.♪ Okay, she's snarky
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00:01:23,039 --> 00:01:25,128
♪ Sarcastic and a...
What? ♪
42
00:01:25,172 --> 00:01:27,913
♪ You know, we're not really
seeing a common theme ♪
43
00:01:27,957 --> 00:01:31,439
♪ Meet Rebecca
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00:01:31,482 --> 00:01:34,529
♪ She's too hard
to summarize ♪
45
00:01:34,572 --> 00:01:38,010
♪ So let's go back
to Other Rebecca. ♪
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I live in this park.
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00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,971
[inhales deeply, exhales]
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00:01:45,017 --> 00:01:47,585
Hey, Rebecca. Hey.
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How'd it go?
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00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:51,415
A bar association
is no joke, man.
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00:01:51,459 --> 00:01:54,592
It's a long line of
identical-looking old white men,
52
00:01:54,636 --> 00:01:56,942
all with this look
on their face. [growls]
53
00:01:56,986 --> 00:01:58,553
Okay, so, what did they say?
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00:01:58,596 --> 00:02:00,685
Well, they said, "Uh, thank you
for your answers, Miss Bunch.
55
00:02:00,729 --> 00:02:03,035
"We will review your case
and notify you next week
56
00:02:03,079 --> 00:02:04,385
"via a registered letter about
57
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:06,300
whether you can still
practice law."
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00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:07,562
Oh, I'm not worried.
59
00:02:07,605 --> 00:02:09,564
Look, they won't
disbar you.
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00:02:09,607 --> 00:02:11,435
The criminal charges
against you were dropped.
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00:02:11,479 --> 00:02:13,307
That hearing was
just a formality.
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00:02:13,350 --> 00:02:16,266
You think?Yeah. I'm sure.
In the meantime,
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00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:17,746
you have got to come
back to Whitefeather.
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00:02:17,789 --> 00:02:20,488
I mean...
MountainTop.
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00:02:20,531 --> 00:02:22,881
My God, that name
is such a barf.
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00:02:22,925 --> 00:02:25,101
Bert's a kook.
Tim's an idiot.
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00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:26,624
Darryl's still on
paternity leave.
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00:02:26,668 --> 00:02:28,322
Jim has disappeared,
like, poof.
69
00:02:28,365 --> 00:02:30,324
And Nathaniel is just
stomping around the office
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00:02:30,367 --> 00:02:31,586
like a sad, handsome baby.
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00:02:31,629 --> 00:02:33,675
Rebecca, we really
need you at work.
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00:02:33,718 --> 00:02:36,330
AKOPIAN: Do you want to go back to work?
73
00:02:36,373 --> 00:02:37,983
Yeah, I do.
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00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:39,724
I'm great at it.
Plus, I had
75
00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:42,379
a tapeworm in jail, so...
I'm looking pretty fit.
76
00:02:42,423 --> 00:02:43,815
So, yeah, yeah, I'm ready.
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00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,339
I'm gonna walk
in that building,
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00:02:45,382 --> 00:02:46,601
go to the coffee shop
in the lobby
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00:02:46,644 --> 00:02:48,559
and tell Martin to fire up
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00:02:48,603 --> 00:02:52,302
my usual supersweet latte with
extra soy foam for my tapeworm.
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00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,695
Okay.
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00:02:53,738 --> 00:02:55,523
Because you know you
don't have to be a lawyer.
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00:02:55,566 --> 00:02:58,265
There are other fields.
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00:02:58,308 --> 00:03:00,136
Other fields?
Nah, I think the ship sailed
85
00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,572
on that a long time ago.
86
00:03:01,616 --> 00:03:04,184
I just want you to be mindful
87
00:03:04,227 --> 00:03:07,535
about what makes you
truly happy.Got it.
88
00:03:07,578 --> 00:03:10,407
It's a good note, it's a good
note. I will keep that in mind
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00:03:10,451 --> 00:03:12,583
as I go back to the only thing
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00:03:12,627 --> 00:03:15,630
anyone has ever paid me
or valued me for.
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00:03:18,807 --> 00:03:20,765
[exhales]
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00:03:23,812 --> 00:03:25,205
Josh?
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00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:27,685
Hey, Rebecca.
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00:03:27,729 --> 00:03:29,383
Hey.
What are you doing here?
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00:03:29,426 --> 00:03:30,732
Well, I'm in therapy.
96
00:03:31,776 --> 00:03:32,777
Wait.
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00:03:32,821 --> 00:03:34,605
Josh Chan is in therapy?
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00:03:34,649 --> 00:03:35,737
Double wait.
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00:03:35,780 --> 00:03:37,304
You go to my shrink?
100
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,393
Oh, I-I go to her
husband, Davit.
101
00:03:39,436 --> 00:03:41,395
He has better Yelp
reviews, actually.
102
00:03:41,438 --> 00:03:42,918
Oh, that's on me.
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00:03:42,961 --> 00:03:45,486
I left some bad reviews on her
when I was spiraling.
104
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:47,705
A lot of fake accounts.
It was a dark time.Oh.
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00:03:47,749 --> 00:03:48,880
I should delete those.
106
00:03:48,924 --> 00:03:50,578
Yeah. Maybe.Anyway, um...
107
00:03:50,621 --> 00:03:52,710
Oh, my God.
Good for you.
108
00:03:52,754 --> 00:03:54,582
Josh Chan in therapy.
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00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:56,584
[chuckles]Gettin' deep.
110
00:03:56,627 --> 00:03:58,281
Um...
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00:03:58,325 --> 00:04:00,849
Actually, do you have a...
do you have a s-second?
112
00:04:00,892 --> 00:04:03,721
Yeah, please.You probably know this,
but I've been trying
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00:04:03,765 --> 00:04:06,637
to take responsibility
for things, and...
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00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,248
I've been trying to find
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00:04:08,291 --> 00:04:11,686
the right time
to tell you that...
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00:04:11,729 --> 00:04:14,123
what I've done to you
the last couple of years
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00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,256
is... awful.
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00:04:16,299 --> 00:04:18,606
It's some of the worst stuff
I've ever done to anyone.
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00:04:18,649 --> 00:04:20,390
It was stalking.
It's inexcusable.
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00:04:20,434 --> 00:04:22,218
And if I'd been a man,
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00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:24,089
I would have been in jail
a lot sooner.
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00:04:24,133 --> 00:04:26,309
I-I appreciate you
saying that, Becks.
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00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:28,790
Um, I've been meaning
to talk to you
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00:04:28,833 --> 00:04:30,879
about some of the
things I did, also.
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00:04:30,922 --> 00:04:32,228
Hmm?
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00:04:32,272 --> 00:04:33,882
Like, when I
moved in with you
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00:04:33,925 --> 00:04:36,711
but acted like
we were casual...
128
00:04:36,754 --> 00:04:38,278
that was gaslighting.
129
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:42,194
You know what?
We both made mistakes.
130
00:04:42,238 --> 00:04:43,805
What matters is
you're getting support now.
131
00:04:43,848 --> 00:04:45,676
And I'm so happy for you.Yeah.
132
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:49,027
I am. And-and, uh, you know, I'm
also learning to look within,
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00:04:49,071 --> 00:04:51,291
understand my emotions.
134
00:04:51,334 --> 00:04:53,336
Um, I-I recently
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00:04:53,380 --> 00:04:55,599
made a big decision.
136
00:04:55,643 --> 00:04:57,427
Are you finally moving out
of Hector's mom's house?
137
00:04:57,471 --> 00:04:58,820
No. She's awesome.
138
00:04:59,908 --> 00:05:01,997
I'm starting to date.
139
00:05:02,040 --> 00:05:04,478
Oh.I'm gonna go
on the apps.
140
00:05:04,521 --> 00:05:05,609
[chuckles]Oh.
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00:05:05,653 --> 00:05:07,959
I'm looking for a
real relationship.
142
00:05:09,352 --> 00:05:10,745
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
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00:05:10,788 --> 00:05:13,182
I... Should I have
told you that?
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00:05:13,225 --> 00:05:14,923
Is that weird?Oh, my God. No.
145
00:05:14,966 --> 00:05:16,620
Not weird at all.
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00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,709
In fact, I'm gonna need
the deets on that.
147
00:05:18,753 --> 00:05:21,146
[laughs]No. Because there's
going to be
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00:05:21,190 --> 00:05:22,670
a feeding frenzy
in the Cov.
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00:05:22,713 --> 00:05:24,628
Don't. Oh, my God.Josh Chan's on the apps?
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00:05:24,672 --> 00:05:27,370
Like, people's brains
are gonna explode.
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00:05:30,721 --> 00:05:32,419
[indistinct chatter]
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00:05:32,462 --> 00:05:34,377
[cheering, applause]
153
00:05:34,421 --> 00:05:36,292
Hey. Like, no judgment,
like, at all,
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00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:39,556
but why is your shoe off in
my public eating establishment?
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00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:41,123
My shoe hurts.Mm.
156
00:05:41,166 --> 00:05:43,038
I smashed my toe
surfing Little Dume,
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00:05:43,081 --> 00:05:44,431
and now look.
158
00:05:44,474 --> 00:05:46,346
Got a big hole in my toe.
159
00:05:46,389 --> 00:05:48,130
Uh, that's really gross.
160
00:05:48,173 --> 00:05:50,262
You need to call your doctor,
like, right now.
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00:05:50,306 --> 00:05:52,787
No, I'm fine.No, baby, call him.
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00:05:52,830 --> 00:05:54,789
I don't want baby
to lose a toe.
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00:05:54,832 --> 00:05:57,052
I love baby's toes.
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00:05:57,095 --> 00:05:59,054
And baby's hairless arms.
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00:05:59,097 --> 00:06:00,795
And baby.
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00:06:00,838 --> 00:06:01,883
Aw.
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00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,885
I love you, too,
kitty cat.
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00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,495
Meow, meow, meow.
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00:06:05,539 --> 00:06:06,757
Meow.Meow.
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00:06:06,801 --> 00:06:07,758
Meow.Meow.
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00:06:07,802 --> 00:06:10,108
Aw...
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00:06:14,069 --> 00:06:16,245
REBECCA:
Back to Whitefeather, everybody.
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00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:17,855
Martin, fire up
the bean machine.
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00:06:17,899 --> 00:06:20,292
Me and my big ol' worm
are thirsty!
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00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:23,165
♪
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Gasp.
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00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:34,176
Hi.
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00:06:34,219 --> 00:06:35,699
What is this place?
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00:06:35,743 --> 00:06:37,875
It's a 1920s speakeasy.
180
00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:42,053
No, it's not. It's a
corporately-owned pretzel store.
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00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:44,012
That just appeared in my lobby?Hey, wait.
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00:06:44,055 --> 00:06:45,796
You look familiar.
Why is that?
183
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:47,450
I...
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00:06:47,494 --> 00:06:49,670
Jim? Jim, What are
you doing down here?
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00:06:49,713 --> 00:06:51,019
I own this place.
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00:06:51,062 --> 00:06:53,282
No, you don't.
You're a lawyer, like me.
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00:06:53,325 --> 00:06:55,415
He's a lawyer,
like me.Not anymore. I quit the law.
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00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,547
What? You...
No, no, you can't do that.
189
00:06:57,591 --> 00:06:58,940
I can and I did.
190
00:06:58,983 --> 00:07:00,420
I got sick of it.
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00:07:00,463 --> 00:07:02,726
Plus, uh, Pretzel Central
was recruiting branch owners,
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00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:05,468
and the coffee shop that was
here closed, so here I am.
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00:07:05,512 --> 00:07:07,339
Huh. Wow.
194
00:07:07,383 --> 00:07:10,386
So you're just gonna throw away
all those years of law school,
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00:07:10,430 --> 00:07:12,301
all that time
studying for the bar,
196
00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:15,609
all that time taking the bar...I know the process
to become a lawyer--
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00:07:15,652 --> 00:07:17,437
I just don't want to do
it anymore. It sucks.
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00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:18,916
AJ:
I'm with her.
199
00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:20,657
It's dumb
to quit being a lawyer.
200
00:07:20,701 --> 00:07:22,659
I'm majoring in pre-law myself.
201
00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:24,313
Oh, no,
no, no.
202
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:26,750
Bad idea. Trust me.
203
00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,970
Being a lawyer is the worst.
204
00:07:29,013 --> 00:07:32,147
Now, stand back and let me
tell you my tale of woe.
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00:07:32,190 --> 00:07:34,454
[upbeat pop intro plays]
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00:07:34,497 --> 00:07:35,542
♪ Whoo!
207
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,197
♪ Ah!
208
00:07:39,241 --> 00:07:41,504
♪ 20 years old,
pretty smart kid ♪
209
00:07:41,548 --> 00:07:43,593
♪ Didn't know
what I wanted to do ♪
210
00:07:43,637 --> 00:07:46,161
♪ So I took the LSAT,
and then just like that ♪
211
00:07:46,204 --> 00:07:48,511
♪ Got accepted at Glendale U
212
00:07:48,555 --> 00:07:50,818
♪ Everyone said
it was a real safe bet ♪
213
00:07:50,861 --> 00:07:52,907
♪ A prestigious
and lucrative vocation ♪
214
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:55,997
♪ So I set out on a journey
to become an attorney ♪
215
00:07:56,040 --> 00:07:58,173
♪ Without a moment's
hesitation ♪
216
00:07:58,216 --> 00:08:00,349
♪ But here's some free advice
217
00:08:00,392 --> 00:08:02,612
♪ I'm givin'
218
00:08:02,656 --> 00:08:05,615
♪ When it comes
to deciding what to ♪
219
00:08:05,659 --> 00:08:07,182
♪ Do for a livin'
220
00:08:07,225 --> 00:08:09,358
♪ Don't be a lawyer
221
00:08:09,401 --> 00:08:10,620
♪ Don't do it
222
00:08:10,664 --> 00:08:12,274
♪ Quickest way
to ruin your life ♪
223
00:08:12,317 --> 00:08:14,015
♪ Don't be a lawyer
224
00:08:14,058 --> 00:08:15,364
♪ Not worth it
225
00:08:15,407 --> 00:08:17,801
♪ It'll leave you dead inside
226
00:08:17,845 --> 00:08:19,673
♪ The job is inherently crappy
227
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,979
♪ That's why you never met
a lawyer who's happy ♪
228
00:08:22,023 --> 00:08:23,546
♪ It's a guaranteed
229
00:08:23,590 --> 00:08:25,896
♪ Soul destroyer
230
00:08:25,940 --> 00:08:28,246
♪ Don't be a lawyer
231
00:08:31,075 --> 00:08:33,077
♪
232
00:08:34,470 --> 00:08:36,080
♪ Law school debt,
daily regret ♪
233
00:08:36,124 --> 00:08:38,605
♪ Is that what you
dreamed of as a kid? ♪
234
00:08:38,648 --> 00:08:41,521
♪ Or did you hope one day
that you'd find a way ♪
235
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:43,435
♪ To spend four years
working on a ♪
236
00:08:43,479 --> 00:08:45,002
♪ Pharmaceutical
company's merger ♪
237
00:08:45,046 --> 00:08:47,570
♪ With another
pharmaceutical company? ♪
238
00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:48,919
♪ Your only expertise
239
00:08:48,963 --> 00:08:50,051
♪ Is runnin' up fees
240
00:08:50,094 --> 00:08:52,357
♪ And speaking legalese
like a dick ♪
241
00:08:52,401 --> 00:08:55,056
♪ But it's not too late
to avoid this fate ♪
242
00:08:55,099 --> 00:08:57,449
♪ Find any other job to pick
243
00:08:57,493 --> 00:09:01,062
♪ Sure, your parents
might think you're a failure ♪
244
00:09:02,280 --> 00:09:03,891
♪ But no one's ever said
245
00:09:03,934 --> 00:09:06,415
♪ First let's kill
all the tailors ♪
246
00:09:06,458 --> 00:09:08,286
♪ Don't be a lawyer
247
00:09:08,330 --> 00:09:09,679
♪ I'm serious
248
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,289
♪ It really, really sucks
249
00:09:11,333 --> 00:09:13,030
♪ Don't be a lawyer
250
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,989
♪ No one you work with
looks like ♪
251
00:09:15,032 --> 00:09:16,643
♪ Ally McBeal
252
00:09:16,686 --> 00:09:18,906
♪ There are so many
other professions ♪
253
00:09:18,949 --> 00:09:20,951
♪ That don't turn you
into Jeff Sessions ♪
254
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:21,952
♪ Just say no
255
00:09:21,996 --> 00:09:24,607
♪ To the lawyer employer
256
00:09:24,651 --> 00:09:25,739
♪ No!♪
257
00:09:25,782 --> 00:09:27,479
♪ Don't be a lawyer
258
00:09:28,742 --> 00:09:31,658
What about human rights law?
259
00:09:31,701 --> 00:09:33,964
♪ No money, no, no money
260
00:09:34,008 --> 00:09:35,879
Environmental law?
261
00:09:35,923 --> 00:09:38,926
♪ No money, even less money
262
00:09:38,969 --> 00:09:40,884
Immigration law?
263
00:09:40,928 --> 00:09:43,887
♪ No money, plus it's a bummer
264
00:09:43,931 --> 00:09:47,108
Okay, but what if one day you
make it to the Supreme Court?
265
00:09:47,151 --> 00:09:50,111
♪ It'd be great to be
on the Supreme Court ♪
266
00:09:50,154 --> 00:09:52,417
♪ But you'll never be
on the Supreme Court ♪
267
00:09:52,461 --> 00:09:56,030
♪ There's truly no chance
of that happenin' ♪
268
00:09:57,466 --> 00:10:00,077
The preceding song
in no way reflects the views
269
00:10:00,121 --> 00:10:02,079
of CBS and the CW Network.
270
00:10:03,428 --> 00:10:05,256
Aw, screw it.
271
00:10:05,300 --> 00:10:06,518
Aah!
272
00:10:06,562 --> 00:10:08,042
[thump]
273
00:10:08,085 --> 00:10:09,173
See?
274
00:10:09,217 --> 00:10:11,219
♪ Don't be a lawyer.
275
00:10:14,178 --> 00:10:15,832
AJ, don't listen to him.
276
00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:18,269
Being a lawyer is...
277
00:10:18,313 --> 00:10:19,923
perfectly fine.
278
00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:22,926
Now, I would like a pretzel to
go on my way up to my legal job,
279
00:10:22,970 --> 00:10:25,712
which is... fine.
280
00:10:25,755 --> 00:10:27,061
Cinnamon, please.
281
00:10:27,104 --> 00:10:27,975
Okay.
282
00:10:28,018 --> 00:10:31,108
Wait, I know how I know you.
283
00:10:31,152 --> 00:10:32,762
You're the Rooftop Killer.
284
00:10:34,068 --> 00:10:35,286
I dressed as you for Halloween.
285
00:10:35,330 --> 00:10:36,548
Wait, you did?Mm.
286
00:10:36,592 --> 00:10:37,549
What did you wear?
287
00:10:37,593 --> 00:10:39,203
Some white girl crap.
288
00:10:42,206 --> 00:10:44,208
That tracks.
289
00:10:45,862 --> 00:10:46,994
Thank you.
290
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,735
[sniffing]
Mmm.
291
00:10:48,778 --> 00:10:50,345
Mmm.
292
00:10:50,388 --> 00:10:53,261
Hi, everyone. I'm back.BERT:
Hello, Rebecca.
293
00:10:53,304 --> 00:10:55,263
Glad you're not locked
in the slammer anymore.Mmm.
294
00:10:55,306 --> 00:10:57,831
I wanted to let you know about
a few changes around here...
295
00:10:57,874 --> 00:11:00,355
Oh, don't worry.
Paula filled me in.
296
00:11:00,398 --> 00:11:02,923
Uh, it's called MountainTop now.
Cool sign, bruh.
297
00:11:02,966 --> 00:11:04,185
Thank you.
298
00:11:04,228 --> 00:11:06,666
Hi, Nathaniel.
299
00:11:08,102 --> 00:11:11,845
BERT:
Oh, that's his sad baby walk.
300
00:11:11,888 --> 00:11:13,629
Oh, boy.
301
00:11:13,673 --> 00:11:15,631
He hates Bert.
302
00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:17,851
What?And then he found out
you were coming back
303
00:11:17,894 --> 00:11:20,201
and went on, like,
a silent strike
304
00:11:20,244 --> 00:11:22,725
and is all upset
'cause no one cares.
305
00:11:22,769 --> 00:11:24,553
It's adorable.
306
00:11:28,165 --> 00:11:30,777
He got blinds just
for that moment.
307
00:11:30,820 --> 00:11:32,387
Mm.
308
00:11:32,430 --> 00:11:33,954
He did great.
309
00:11:33,997 --> 00:11:35,129
Yeah.
310
00:11:35,172 --> 00:11:38,132
Okay, Wendy LeGrand
is first up today.
311
00:11:38,175 --> 00:11:40,047
She has been asking and asking
when you're coming back.
312
00:11:40,090 --> 00:11:42,005
And since she is
our biggest client,
313
00:11:42,049 --> 00:11:45,269
it has been so hard
stalling her.
314
00:11:45,313 --> 00:11:47,010
Don't worry, 'cause
I'm back now, 'kay?
315
00:11:47,054 --> 00:11:48,316
Come on. Let's do this.
316
00:11:48,359 --> 00:11:49,143
Okay.
317
00:11:49,186 --> 00:11:51,101
Yeah.
318
00:11:51,145 --> 00:11:53,756
Rebecca, your absence
was certainly felt around here.
319
00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:56,106
While you were out,
Tim handled my account.
320
00:11:56,150 --> 00:11:58,892
As you can imagine, there were
significant oversights.
321
00:11:58,935 --> 00:12:01,895
I told you that the reason
I missed that zoning meeting
322
00:12:01,938 --> 00:12:04,506
is because I used to
share a watch with Jim,
323
00:12:04,549 --> 00:12:05,812
but he's no longer here...
324
00:12:05,855 --> 00:12:07,422
Shh...Ah.
325
00:12:07,465 --> 00:12:09,816
Well, the good news is that
you don't need Tim anymore,
326
00:12:09,859 --> 00:12:13,167
because, uh,
Bunch is back, bitches!
327
00:12:13,210 --> 00:12:14,951
[laughing]
328
00:12:14,995 --> 00:12:16,605
I'm not bitches.
329
00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,608
I'm one bitch. A bitch who wants
her business handled correctly.
330
00:12:19,651 --> 00:12:21,175
Wendy, you're absolutely right.
331
00:12:21,218 --> 00:12:23,264
So, I took a look
at those zoning issues.
332
00:12:23,307 --> 00:12:25,353
And, first of all, I have
to say, the city council's
333
00:12:25,396 --> 00:12:28,095
conservation easement is, like,
one of the funniest things
334
00:12:28,138 --> 00:12:30,271
I've ever seen
in my entire life.
335
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:32,099
Well, what do we do about
the open space bylaws?
336
00:12:32,142 --> 00:12:34,057
REBECCA:
Bylaws? More like bye-bye, laws,
337
00:12:34,101 --> 00:12:36,407
because we're gonna exploit
all the loopholes like crazy.
338
00:12:36,451 --> 00:12:38,670
Um, in summation,
loop, there it is.
339
00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,195
[chuckles]
340
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,066
Yeah. There she is.[laughs]: Yeah, that's...
341
00:12:43,110 --> 00:12:44,067
Don't throw it out
in here.
342
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,590
It's a zucchini shake.
343
00:12:45,634 --> 00:12:47,070
It'll smell.
344
00:12:47,114 --> 00:12:48,855
Okay.
345
00:12:49,899 --> 00:12:51,858
I'm so sorry about him.
346
00:12:51,901 --> 00:12:54,817
Um, Wendy, I'm here for you now.
You don't have to worry anymore.
347
00:12:54,861 --> 00:12:56,732
This is what I do.
It's what I'm good at.
348
00:12:58,473 --> 00:13:02,259
Oh, my God, Rebecca, you
handled that meeting so well.
349
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:05,088
Oh, it's so great
to have you back.
350
00:13:05,132 --> 00:13:06,394
It's like you never left.
351
00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:08,831
You just got right back
in the swing of things.
352
00:13:08,875 --> 00:13:10,180
I knew you would.
353
00:13:10,224 --> 00:13:11,834
[sighs]
Thank you.
354
00:13:11,878 --> 00:13:13,444
[chuckles]
355
00:13:13,488 --> 00:13:15,272
Yeah.
356
00:13:15,316 --> 00:13:17,927
I mean, I'm back at work,
and I'm already...
357
00:13:17,971 --> 00:13:19,450
crushin' it.
358
00:13:19,494 --> 00:13:21,191
Wow.
359
00:13:21,235 --> 00:13:23,280
Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow.
360
00:13:23,324 --> 00:13:25,630
This is great. Wow, wow.
361
00:13:25,674 --> 00:13:28,285
This is fantastic. Right?
362
00:13:28,329 --> 00:13:29,199
I know.
363
00:13:29,243 --> 00:13:30,200
It's objectively f...
364
00:13:30,244 --> 00:13:31,636
this is objectively fantastic.
365
00:13:31,680 --> 00:13:34,030
Like, on paper,
fantastic, right?
366
00:13:34,074 --> 00:13:37,294
Wow. Wow, wow,
wow, wow, wow.
367
00:13:37,338 --> 00:13:38,600
Rebecca?
368
00:13:38,643 --> 00:13:39,906
I'm sorry.
369
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:42,952
I just need
to go get a smoothie.
370
00:13:42,996 --> 00:13:44,345
I didn't eat
breakfast,
371
00:13:44,388 --> 00:13:47,827
and I get... I get weird
when I don't have protein.
372
00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:51,221
So, I'm just gonna go grab
something to eat.
373
00:13:51,265 --> 00:13:53,267
[elevator dings]
374
00:13:54,268 --> 00:13:56,183
Hey. Are you hiring?
375
00:14:02,319 --> 00:14:03,799
So, do you, like,
still dance hip-hop?
376
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,062
You were so amazing
in high school.
377
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:07,890
You did that one Usher medley.
Oh, my God,[exhales] Yeah.
378
00:14:07,934 --> 00:14:09,196
I still think about it.
[chuckles]Really?
379
00:14:09,239 --> 00:14:12,199
Like, a lot.
[chuckles]
380
00:14:12,242 --> 00:14:13,635
I-I dance sometimes.
381
00:14:13,678 --> 00:14:16,290
For a while, I was a
go-go dancer at Aluminum.
382
00:14:16,333 --> 00:14:17,769
Like, the gay bar?
383
00:14:17,813 --> 00:14:18,858
Yeah.Hmm.
384
00:14:18,901 --> 00:14:19,859
That's cool.
I've been to, like,
385
00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,338
eight bachelorettes there.
386
00:14:21,382 --> 00:14:22,862
That was after I left
the priesthood
387
00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,776
and before I started
living with Hector's mom.
388
00:14:24,820 --> 00:14:28,693
Sorry, Hector's... mom?Uh-huh.
389
00:14:28,737 --> 00:14:31,087
Do you guys, like, hook up?
390
00:14:31,131 --> 00:14:32,480
What? No.
[chuckles]
391
00:14:32,523 --> 00:14:34,699
We're just roommates.
Although my therapist says
392
00:14:34,743 --> 00:14:37,354
she might be fulfilling
a larger role in my life.Okay,
393
00:14:37,398 --> 00:14:40,880
wait, Josh Chan is in therapy?
I mean, I knew you dated that
394
00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,794
crazy girl, but I didn't know
that youmight be crazy, too.
395
00:14:42,838 --> 00:14:44,318
[gasps]
Oh, my God.
396
00:14:44,361 --> 00:14:45,449
Are you, like, schizo?No.
397
00:14:45,493 --> 00:14:47,321
I-I'm just introspective.
398
00:14:48,365 --> 00:14:49,932
Uh-huh.
399
00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,151
Cool.
400
00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:52,413
Cool.
401
00:14:55,111 --> 00:14:58,071
Oh! Hey! My phone.
Uh, it's buzzing.
402
00:14:58,114 --> 00:14:59,550
Hello?
403
00:14:59,594 --> 00:15:00,551
Oh, you're here?
[sighs]
404
00:15:00,595 --> 00:15:02,292
Sorry, my Uber's outside.
405
00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:04,599
Um, wait, when
did you call them?
406
00:15:04,642 --> 00:15:06,688
Oh, I didn't.
They called me.
407
00:15:06,731 --> 00:15:08,995
They do that now. They call
to see if you need a ride.
408
00:15:09,038 --> 00:15:10,953
Uh, yeah,
I'm at Home Base.
409
00:15:10,997 --> 00:15:11,954
I'll be right out.
410
00:15:11,998 --> 00:15:13,477
Sorry, got to protect my rating.
411
00:15:13,521 --> 00:15:14,914
You get it.Yeah.
412
00:15:14,957 --> 00:15:16,219
Totally. Um...
413
00:15:16,263 --> 00:15:17,568
It-it was nice meeting you.
414
00:15:17,612 --> 00:15:19,483
Uh-huh.
415
00:15:21,485 --> 00:15:23,400
Bye.
416
00:15:29,537 --> 00:15:31,843
[gasps]
Oh, hey, Jim. Jim.
417
00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,323
Okay, you'll never guess
what happened.
418
00:15:33,367 --> 00:15:35,325
So, three people came in,
and they ordered pretzels.
419
00:15:35,369 --> 00:15:37,240
They ordered plain,
cinnamon, and jalapeño.
420
00:15:37,284 --> 00:15:39,677
And I got them the pretzels.
And I gave them the pretzels.
421
00:15:39,721 --> 00:15:41,679
And they bit into
the pretzels...
422
00:15:41,723 --> 00:15:45,074
and they were truly happy.
423
00:15:45,118 --> 00:15:48,077
Like, that's what
happy looks like.
424
00:15:48,121 --> 00:15:50,079
She also forgot
to charge them.
425
00:15:50,123 --> 00:15:51,602
I paid for them myself.
426
00:15:51,646 --> 00:15:53,953
AJ, don't be a narc.
427
00:15:53,996 --> 00:15:56,825
I'm sorry. I'm just still
so confused that you work here.
428
00:15:56,868 --> 00:15:58,696
It is temporary.[elevator dings]
429
00:15:58,740 --> 00:16:01,438
Um, honey,
430
00:16:01,482 --> 00:16:03,179
I got a text from Jim
431
00:16:03,223 --> 00:16:04,746
that you're working here?
432
00:16:04,789 --> 00:16:06,748
I was going to text
you myself, Paula.
433
00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:09,969
So... I went back up to work,
and something felt off.
434
00:16:10,012 --> 00:16:11,709
And I realized it's because
I don't know if I'm gonna
435
00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,363
be disbarred yet.
I'm waiting
436
00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:14,974
for that letter from
the bar association,
437
00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:16,976
and it feels unethical.
You get it.
438
00:16:17,019 --> 00:16:18,194
Yeah. Okay.
439
00:16:18,238 --> 00:16:19,587
But Wendy's coming back
for another meeting.
440
00:16:19,630 --> 00:16:20,936
What do I tell her?
441
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,503
Tell her that I'm
working here for a while
442
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:24,505
and she can come by for
a cinnamon on the house.
443
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,507
We don't give people things
on the house. No.[sighs]
444
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:28,596
Oh, hey, Jim.
Miss you upstairs.
445
00:16:28,639 --> 00:16:29,945
Really?No.
446
00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,860
Rebecca, I am not bringing
Wendy by for a pretzel.
447
00:16:31,903 --> 00:16:34,428
In fact, if she walks by
and sees you here,
448
00:16:34,471 --> 00:16:36,386
I'm gonna tell her
that you have a dumb twin sister
449
00:16:36,430 --> 00:16:37,997
who works
at a stupid pretzel shop.
450
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:41,478
[door opens]
451
00:16:41,522 --> 00:16:45,265
So, I sent a picture
of my toe to my doctor.
452
00:16:45,308 --> 00:16:47,441
And he said
go to the emergency room.
453
00:16:47,484 --> 00:16:49,269
Okay. That's what I thought.
Let's go.
454
00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:50,444
Wait, are you insane?
455
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:52,576
It costs $300
to text a doctor.
456
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,578
An emergency room visit
will cost thousands of dollars,
457
00:16:54,622 --> 00:16:56,537
and I have
no health insurance. I...
458
00:16:56,580 --> 00:16:57,799
Right. So just
use my insurance.
459
00:16:57,842 --> 00:16:59,192
I can't. We're not related.
460
00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,542
Right. So let's
just get married.
461
00:17:01,585 --> 00:17:02,891
What?
462
00:17:02,934 --> 00:17:04,023
I mean, toe aside,
463
00:17:04,066 --> 00:17:05,981
just seems easier
all around, so...
464
00:17:06,025 --> 00:17:07,113
what do you think?
465
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:08,418
What?
466
00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:09,593
What?
467
00:17:09,637 --> 00:17:10,942
I think it's
a great idea.
468
00:17:10,986 --> 00:17:12,944
I have a lunch break, too.
469
00:17:12,988 --> 00:17:14,337
You want to go?
470
00:17:14,381 --> 00:17:15,338
I do.
471
00:17:15,382 --> 00:17:16,948
I do.
472
00:17:16,992 --> 00:17:18,341
Congratulations.
473
00:17:18,385 --> 00:17:19,951
You're married.
474
00:17:20,996 --> 00:17:21,953
That's it?
475
00:17:21,997 --> 00:17:23,085
It's over?
476
00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:24,652
Or just beginning.
477
00:17:24,695 --> 00:17:26,523
Good luck with your toe.
478
00:17:29,483 --> 00:17:31,528
[both chuckle]
479
00:17:31,572 --> 00:17:33,356
[sniffles]
480
00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:34,705
You're so beautiful.
481
00:17:34,749 --> 00:17:35,967
[chuckles]
Stop.
482
00:17:36,011 --> 00:17:38,579
I'm so happy.
[sniffles]
483
00:17:38,622 --> 00:17:41,495
I love you so much.
484
00:17:41,538 --> 00:17:42,931
Baby, me, too.[chuckles, sniffles]
485
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:44,411
[sniffles, chuckles]
486
00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:46,413
Okay, now I'm crying.
487
00:17:46,456 --> 00:17:47,631
[chuckles]
488
00:17:52,027 --> 00:17:53,811
[both crying]
489
00:18:03,952 --> 00:18:05,562
I love sugar.
I love the sugar.
490
00:18:05,606 --> 00:18:07,999
I love doing the sugar.
491
00:18:08,043 --> 00:18:09,653
Dibs on the sugars. 'Kay.
492
00:18:09,697 --> 00:18:11,220
JOSH:
Whoa.
493
00:18:11,264 --> 00:18:13,701
It's true.
You really do work here. Cool.
494
00:18:13,744 --> 00:18:16,356
Yeah, yeah.
For a little-little while.
495
00:18:16,399 --> 00:18:17,966
Hey, how's the dating going?
496
00:18:18,009 --> 00:18:19,272
Give me the update on the apps.
497
00:18:19,315 --> 00:18:20,838
The "appdate."
[chuckles]
498
00:18:20,882 --> 00:18:22,710
[sighs]
It's not been going great.
499
00:18:22,753 --> 00:18:25,016
Well, maybe you're swiping
the wrong people.
500
00:18:25,060 --> 00:18:26,496
Let me help.
501
00:18:26,540 --> 00:18:28,585
I have amazing taste in people.Is that true?
502
00:18:28,629 --> 00:18:30,457
Definitely not. But
I want to swipe. Come on.
503
00:18:31,501 --> 00:18:33,460
All right. Oh.
504
00:18:33,503 --> 00:18:34,678
Okay, well, this is easy.
505
00:18:34,722 --> 00:18:36,463
First of all, we're
gonna reject anyone
506
00:18:36,506 --> 00:18:38,421
from University of
Blank or Blank State.
507
00:18:38,465 --> 00:18:41,685
So good-bye, University of Ohio,
508
00:18:41,729 --> 00:18:44,427
Florida, Arizona State...
509
00:18:44,471 --> 00:18:45,515
Go, Sun Devils!
510
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,343
Is that Jim?
511
00:18:47,387 --> 00:18:49,737
Yeah, he's my boss now.
It's... Don't ask. Okay...
512
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:52,305
Wait, wait. Who-who cares
where someone went to college?
513
00:18:52,348 --> 00:18:55,090
[laughing]
514
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:57,658
Oh. Once I loved you.
515
00:18:57,701 --> 00:18:59,660
Amazing.
516
00:18:59,703 --> 00:19:02,097
Mm, all right.
Oh, here's a girl. Zoe.
517
00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:04,578
Huh. She went to Brown,
518
00:19:04,621 --> 00:19:06,232
which, normally,
I'd say, "Blah."
519
00:19:06,275 --> 00:19:07,842
But she studied art history,
520
00:19:07,885 --> 00:19:09,670
and I happen to know Brown has
a good art history program.
521
00:19:09,713 --> 00:19:12,194
I feel good
about Zoe.
522
00:19:12,238 --> 00:19:14,588
I think she's gonna get you.
She's gonna get you, Josh.
523
00:19:14,631 --> 00:19:16,198
[phone chimes][gasps]
524
00:19:16,242 --> 00:19:18,809
And you matched. Already.
525
00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:21,334
Am I smart enough for her?
526
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:23,118
Yes.
527
00:19:23,162 --> 00:19:25,512
You are perceptive and kind,
528
00:19:25,555 --> 00:19:28,167
and that's a very valuable
type of intelligence.
529
00:19:28,210 --> 00:19:29,516
Trust me,
it'll be
530
00:19:29,559 --> 00:19:31,039
Louvre at first sight.
531
00:19:31,082 --> 00:19:32,040
[chuckles]
Louvre.
532
00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,607
[chuckles]
Good one.
533
00:19:33,650 --> 00:19:35,565
[both laughing]
534
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,654
WENDY:
Nathaniel, glad you're here.
535
00:19:37,698 --> 00:19:40,396
What do you think about
Rebecca's easement proposal?
536
00:19:43,486 --> 00:19:45,009
PAULA:
I'm sorry.
537
00:19:45,053 --> 00:19:47,447
I-It's a whole thing.
538
00:19:47,490 --> 00:19:49,013
Fine with me.
Eye candy. Doesn't talk.
539
00:19:49,057 --> 00:19:50,014
That works.
540
00:19:50,058 --> 00:19:51,102
Where's Rebecca?
541
00:19:51,146 --> 00:19:52,713
PAULA:
She is...
542
00:19:52,756 --> 00:19:55,368
She works at a pretzel
shop downstairs.
543
00:19:55,411 --> 00:19:57,979
[laughs]
Geez, Tim![chuckles]
544
00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:00,373
Who are you,
Narc Twain?
545
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:01,548
[laughs]
546
00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:02,810
She doesn't work there.
547
00:20:02,853 --> 00:20:04,725
Um, she's just having
a little fun
548
00:20:04,768 --> 00:20:06,248
till she comes back
full-time.
549
00:20:06,292 --> 00:20:09,643
It's like a...
a-a tiny gap year.
550
00:20:09,686 --> 00:20:11,993
[gasps] A gap year.
I did one of those.
551
00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:13,560
So did Malia Obama.
552
00:20:13,603 --> 00:20:15,475
She went to South
and Central America
553
00:20:15,518 --> 00:20:16,998
and learned a lot about herself.
554
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:19,392
I went to Arkansas to help
my aunt raise her five kids
555
00:20:19,435 --> 00:20:21,263
after her husband put a gun
in his mouth.
556
00:20:21,307 --> 00:20:22,786
I learned a lot
about myself, too.
557
00:20:22,830 --> 00:20:24,919
My tubes are tied.
558
00:20:25,963 --> 00:20:29,140
Who is working on my case?
559
00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:30,620
Miss LeGrand, do not worry.
560
00:20:30,664 --> 00:20:33,623
Your case is
of the utmost importance.
561
00:20:33,667 --> 00:20:36,974
Great. You know what's also
of the utmost importance?
562
00:20:37,018 --> 00:20:40,500
That Rebecca come back. Now.
563
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:43,807
Yes.
564
00:20:43,851 --> 00:20:46,593
I... am an artist.
565
00:20:46,636 --> 00:20:49,509
Okay, Jim, I went to the market,
and I got some new ingredients
566
00:20:49,552 --> 00:20:50,988
to make these
exciting new flavors.
567
00:20:51,032 --> 00:20:53,904
We got chocolate peanut butter,
vanilla lavender,
568
00:20:53,948 --> 00:20:56,080
and honey bacon.
569
00:20:56,124 --> 00:20:58,126
Uh, that one's not kosher.
[laughs]
570
00:20:58,169 --> 00:20:59,562
They're all not kosher.
571
00:20:59,606 --> 00:21:00,955
Corporate won't let us
do new flavors.
572
00:21:00,998 --> 00:21:02,783
I can't even put extra salt
on a pretzel.
573
00:21:02,826 --> 00:21:04,915
They're really strict about what
we can and can't sell.
574
00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:06,308
Yeah, I worked at
575
00:21:06,352 --> 00:21:07,527
the Pretzel Central in
Claremont. The owner there
576
00:21:07,570 --> 00:21:10,138
put extra frosting on
his almond pretzels.
577
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:12,227
He got banned
from the franchise
578
00:21:12,271 --> 00:21:14,577
and excommunicated
from the church.
579
00:21:14,621 --> 00:21:16,318
They have so much pull.
580
00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,625
Oh, I'm sorry.
581
00:21:18,668 --> 00:21:20,670
I've already been selling these.
582
00:21:20,714 --> 00:21:22,063
Forgot to tell you.
Love you.
583
00:21:22,106 --> 00:21:23,717
But really, they've been
selling like hotcakes,
584
00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,371
which is funny
'cause they're pretzels.
585
00:21:25,414 --> 00:21:27,547
Whoa, new idea.
Hotcake pretzels.
586
00:21:27,590 --> 00:21:29,636
No, no, no. No, no, you
can't do that. If it's
587
00:21:29,679 --> 00:21:31,725
not approved by corporate,
it could get me shut down.
588
00:21:31,768 --> 00:21:34,771
I'm scared of those people,
and I like to follow rules.Jim.
589
00:21:34,815 --> 00:21:36,425
Who's gonna tell 'em?
590
00:21:36,469 --> 00:21:38,427
Narc Zuckerberg over here?
Maybe.
591
00:21:38,471 --> 00:21:40,037
[scoffs]
592
00:21:40,081 --> 00:21:42,866
Do you have a notebook where
you're brainstorming narc puns?
593
00:21:42,910 --> 00:21:44,999
Maybe. Jim, don't forget
594
00:21:45,042 --> 00:21:46,783
your mission, why you're
doing this in the first place.
595
00:21:46,827 --> 00:21:48,655
You're striking out on your own.
596
00:21:48,698 --> 00:21:51,832
And I'm right by your side, pal.
We're gonna forge our own path.
597
00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,574
I'm just trying
to be a small business owner.
598
00:21:54,617 --> 00:21:56,576
Boo, you got to get it together.
599
00:21:56,619 --> 00:21:57,794
Just follow the rules.
600
00:21:57,838 --> 00:22:00,231
You're worrying me.
601
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:05,498
AUTHOR [English accent]:
Svalbard.
602
00:22:05,541 --> 00:22:07,891
A Norwegian archipelago nestled
603
00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:10,198
in the Arctic Ocean
and the birthplace
604
00:22:10,241 --> 00:22:13,462
of the Scandinavian
primitivist movement.
605
00:22:13,506 --> 00:22:14,637
Wake up, Josh!
606
00:22:14,681 --> 00:22:16,639
Rebecca was lying to you.
607
00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:20,034
Zoe is never going to like you
unless you learn some art.
608
00:22:20,077 --> 00:22:21,644
Now, look alive, young chap.
609
00:22:21,688 --> 00:22:23,211
I'm not reading this
for my health.
610
00:22:23,254 --> 00:22:25,039
I already know what it says.
I wrote it.
611
00:22:25,082 --> 00:22:26,780
Okay, okay, you're right.
I-I'm sorry.
612
00:22:26,823 --> 00:22:29,348
AUTHOR:
Now I have to start over.
613
00:22:29,391 --> 00:22:31,001
Bollocks.
614
00:22:31,045 --> 00:22:34,657
Okay. Svalbard.
A Norwegian archipelago
615
00:22:34,701 --> 00:22:37,486
nestled in the Arctic Ocean...
616
00:22:38,531 --> 00:22:40,228
Hey, Cookie?
617
00:22:40,271 --> 00:22:41,751
I don't mean to bother you,
'cause I know
618
00:22:41,795 --> 00:22:43,579
you're enjoying yourself,
but have you
619
00:22:43,623 --> 00:22:44,885
gotten that
bar association letter?
620
00:22:44,928 --> 00:22:46,974
Can you come back to work?
Like, now?
621
00:22:47,017 --> 00:22:47,975
BERT:
Wendy, w-wait, hold on a second.
622
00:22:48,018 --> 00:22:50,543
Oh, hey.
Look who's here.
623
00:22:50,586 --> 00:22:52,022
It's our big client, Wendy.
624
00:22:52,066 --> 00:22:53,633
And we're
here with our
625
00:22:53,676 --> 00:22:55,765
most important client,
here at Pretzel Central.
626
00:22:55,809 --> 00:22:57,680
[whispers]: I'm so sorry.
I-I tried to stop her,
627
00:22:57,724 --> 00:22:59,595
but, of course,
I couldn't put hands on her,
628
00:22:59,639 --> 00:23:01,771
so I tried to control
her movements with my eyes,
629
00:23:01,815 --> 00:23:04,034
but I seem
to have lost my powers.
630
00:23:04,078 --> 00:23:06,820
I had to see this for myself.
This is insane.
631
00:23:06,863 --> 00:23:08,038
Rebecca,
632
00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:09,431
that apron makes you look...
633
00:23:09,475 --> 00:23:10,476
Pretty?
634
00:23:10,519 --> 00:23:12,129
Poor.
635
00:23:12,173 --> 00:23:13,479
Guys, I'm fine.
And Wendy,
636
00:23:13,522 --> 00:23:14,697
I will be back
before you know it,
637
00:23:14,741 --> 00:23:16,395
and then you and I
can take that easement
638
00:23:16,438 --> 00:23:17,700
and make angry love to it.
639
00:23:17,744 --> 00:23:19,267
AJ: Here.Yeah, this one's
on the house.
640
00:23:19,310 --> 00:23:21,878
Let's go.PAULA:
All right.
641
00:23:21,922 --> 00:23:23,880
AJ:
So,
642
00:23:23,924 --> 00:23:25,665
when are you gonna tell them you
got the letter and you're free
643
00:23:25,708 --> 00:23:27,928
to practice law?
644
00:23:27,971 --> 00:23:30,104
How do you know about
that, Narcer Posey?
645
00:23:36,240 --> 00:23:38,025
Aah! Whoa. [laughs]
646
00:23:38,068 --> 00:23:40,201
Whoa.Yeah!
647
00:23:40,244 --> 00:23:42,029
Welcome home, my bride.
648
00:23:42,072 --> 00:23:43,596
Oh.
649
00:23:43,639 --> 00:23:45,772
Wow, bride.
650
00:23:45,815 --> 00:23:47,251
We're married.I know.
651
00:23:47,295 --> 00:23:49,340
Right?So, I was thinking
652
00:23:49,384 --> 00:23:51,604
for the actual wedding
we can do doves.
653
00:23:51,647 --> 00:23:53,344
I was thinking lots of flowers.
654
00:23:53,388 --> 00:23:54,955
I was thinking my abuela
can do a hymn.
655
00:23:54,998 --> 00:23:56,913
Wedding?
We already had a wedding.
656
00:23:56,957 --> 00:23:58,524
I know. And-and it was sweet.Mm-hmm.
657
00:23:58,567 --> 00:24:00,439
But now we can have
a real wedding
658
00:24:00,482 --> 00:24:02,005
with the people we love.
659
00:24:02,049 --> 00:24:05,052
Oh, you're one of those.
660
00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:06,445
You mean a person?
661
00:24:06,488 --> 00:24:08,359
Well...Heather, I've been thinking
662
00:24:08,403 --> 00:24:10,361
about our wedding
for a while now.
663
00:24:10,405 --> 00:24:11,885
Like, before the toe proposal.
664
00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:13,843
I want a real wedding.
665
00:24:13,887 --> 00:24:16,629
You in a white dress,
and me in a tux.[chuckles]
666
00:24:16,672 --> 00:24:18,805
In a church.Hector.
667
00:24:18,848 --> 00:24:20,546
Come on, we don't need
to make our love
668
00:24:20,589 --> 00:24:22,504
into some big production.
669
00:24:22,548 --> 00:24:24,332
I mean, our culture
turns human emotion
670
00:24:24,375 --> 00:24:27,291
into some consumer trade show.
671
00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:29,250
Our love, our
actuallove,
672
00:24:29,293 --> 00:24:31,644
is better than
waffle makers
673
00:24:31,687 --> 00:24:34,908
and ice cream makers
and pasta machines.
674
00:24:34,951 --> 00:24:36,257
By the way, I'm so starving.
675
00:24:36,300 --> 00:24:39,739
But that's not, like,
who we are. Right?
676
00:24:40,783 --> 00:24:42,176
[chuckles softly]
677
00:24:42,219 --> 00:24:45,179
No, I guess not.
678
00:24:45,222 --> 00:24:46,441
I guess...
679
00:24:46,485 --> 00:24:48,051
you know, I guess we can wait.
680
00:24:48,095 --> 00:24:50,271
And-and maybe
for our ten-year anniversary,
681
00:24:50,314 --> 00:24:53,187
we can renew our vows
682
00:24:53,230 --> 00:24:56,277
and do a small barbecue.
683
00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,975
Thank you.
That sounds perfect.
684
00:24:59,019 --> 00:25:00,411
Yep.
685
00:25:00,455 --> 00:25:01,804
You get it.
686
00:25:04,894 --> 00:25:06,461
REBECCA:
How do you know I got
687
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:07,680
the letter from the
bar association?
688
00:25:07,723 --> 00:25:09,377
You threw it in the garbage.
689
00:25:09,420 --> 00:25:10,596
So you just picked it up?
690
00:25:10,639 --> 00:25:12,728
No. I picked it up and read it.
691
00:25:12,772 --> 00:25:14,295
Congratulations.
692
00:25:14,338 --> 00:25:15,557
You can practice law again.
693
00:25:15,601 --> 00:25:18,125
Look, don't tell anybody.
Please.
694
00:25:18,168 --> 00:25:20,475
Please. Be my hero.
695
00:25:20,519 --> 00:25:22,869
Be my Joan of No-Narc.
696
00:25:22,912 --> 00:25:24,523
Wow, you really
697
00:25:24,566 --> 00:25:26,873
don't want to be a lawyer,
do you?
698
00:25:26,916 --> 00:25:28,701
Well, what are you gonna do--
stay in this pretzel shop
699
00:25:28,744 --> 00:25:31,268
forever?I don't know
what I'm gonna do.
700
00:25:43,106 --> 00:25:45,108
What do you guys
think I should do?
701
00:25:46,849 --> 00:25:48,285
You know me better than anyone.
702
00:25:48,329 --> 00:25:50,679
You've been with me
since I got here.
703
00:25:50,723 --> 00:25:53,900
What am I doing,
talking to pretzels?
704
00:25:53,943 --> 00:25:55,945
[folk music playing]
705
00:25:58,818 --> 00:26:01,255
♪ We are merely pretzels
706
00:26:01,298 --> 00:26:03,431
♪ That is all we are
707
00:26:03,474 --> 00:26:06,042
♪ This woman's obsession
with us ♪
708
00:26:06,086 --> 00:26:08,610
♪ Is frankly quite bizarre
709
00:26:08,654 --> 00:26:10,438
♪ We used to simply be
710
00:26:10,481 --> 00:26:13,528
♪ A starchy snack
that people ate ♪
711
00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,965
♪ But now we are a symbol
712
00:26:16,009 --> 00:26:19,012
♪ Such is our twisted fate
713
00:26:21,754 --> 00:26:24,626
♪ We've been smothered
in the mustard ♪
714
00:26:24,670 --> 00:26:27,368
♪ Of her quest for happiness
715
00:26:27,411 --> 00:26:29,849
♪ There's a lot
of pressure on us ♪
716
00:26:29,892 --> 00:26:32,199
♪ This we must confess
717
00:26:32,242 --> 00:26:34,375
♪ We didn't ask
to be in charge ♪
718
00:26:34,418 --> 00:26:36,682
♪ Of someone's mental state
719
00:26:36,725 --> 00:26:39,598
♪ Just let us
be some happy carbs ♪
720
00:26:39,641 --> 00:26:41,991
♪ Spare us this twisted fate
721
00:26:43,906 --> 00:26:47,562
♪ We've been "a-salted"
by her yearning ♪
722
00:26:48,955 --> 00:26:52,611
♪ To make her life
a cogent tale ♪
723
00:26:54,308 --> 00:26:58,225
♪ Sure, it's nice
to be kneaded ♪
724
00:26:58,268 --> 00:27:00,357
♪ But now the whole thing's
725
00:27:00,401 --> 00:27:02,446
♪ Getting stale
726
00:27:02,490 --> 00:27:05,493
♪ Oh, can't some soft
and chewy pretzels ♪
727
00:27:05,536 --> 00:27:07,626
♪ Finally get relief
728
00:27:07,669 --> 00:27:10,150
♪ We are hurtin'
from the burden ♪
729
00:27:10,193 --> 00:27:12,543
♪ Of being someone's
life motif ♪
730
00:27:12,587 --> 00:27:15,459
♪ She could switch
to pizza bagels ♪
731
00:27:15,503 --> 00:27:17,418
♪ If it's not too late
732
00:27:17,461 --> 00:27:20,029
♪ It's the yeast
that she could do ♪
733
00:27:20,073 --> 00:27:21,465
♪ To save us from
734
00:27:21,509 --> 00:27:25,426
♪ This twisted fate.
735
00:27:27,558 --> 00:27:30,474
TRULY BUTTER:
Ugh, tell me about it.
736
00:27:30,518 --> 00:27:31,824
Ah...
737
00:27:31,867 --> 00:27:35,131
the age-old question:
738
00:27:35,175 --> 00:27:37,656
pretzels or law?
739
00:27:37,699 --> 00:27:39,658
Pretzels or law?
740
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,059
You know, I think that guy at
the church owes me a favor.
741
00:27:50,103 --> 00:27:52,061
Oh, hey.Heya.
742
00:27:52,105 --> 00:27:54,716
Hey.Hello, friends. Wait. No.
743
00:27:54,760 --> 00:27:57,458
What's going on here?
What's up?
744
00:27:57,501 --> 00:28:00,287
What's up is you got married and
didn't want to have a wedding?
745
00:28:00,330 --> 00:28:02,855
That's like getting married and
not wanting to have a wedding.
746
00:28:02,898 --> 00:28:04,378
How did you know I got married?
747
00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:05,335
The judge tagged you
on Instagram.
748
00:28:05,379 --> 00:28:06,641
Also, Hector told us.
749
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,991
Okay, well, look,
our wedding is private.
750
00:28:09,035 --> 00:28:10,732
No. Body parts are private.
751
00:28:10,776 --> 00:28:12,647
Weddings are for everybody.
752
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:15,389
Okay, I'm really regretting
giving youa key.
753
00:28:15,432 --> 00:28:18,218
Also, did Hector
ask you to come here?
754
00:28:18,261 --> 00:28:20,307
Actually, after your
sad court ceremony,
755
00:28:20,350 --> 00:28:22,613
he did call and ask
us to plan something.
756
00:28:22,657 --> 00:28:25,094
And then he said you
didn't want to do it.
757
00:28:25,138 --> 00:28:27,488
He said that you
talked him out of it.
758
00:28:27,531 --> 00:28:29,664
No, that's not what happened.
We had a discussion
759
00:28:29,708 --> 00:28:32,623
and decided to do our own thing
and just follow our own path.
760
00:28:32,667 --> 00:28:35,061
Ourpath?
Sounds like yourpath.
761
00:28:35,104 --> 00:28:36,410
Look, I care
762
00:28:36,453 --> 00:28:38,717
about Hector and his happiness.
763
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:40,544
Yeah, I can't say that
with a straight face.
764
00:28:40,588 --> 00:28:43,156
We just need a beautiful
couple for our website.
765
00:28:43,199 --> 00:28:45,462
Okay? We keep doing weddings
for some real uggos.
766
00:28:45,506 --> 00:28:46,942
BETH:
She's right. It's a nightmare.
767
00:28:46,986 --> 00:28:48,465
It's like
we're attracting them.
768
00:28:48,509 --> 00:28:49,815
Yeah, it's like, some people
769
00:28:49,858 --> 00:28:51,512
should legally
not be allowed to get married.
770
00:28:51,555 --> 00:28:53,862
[laughs]
771
00:28:53,906 --> 00:28:55,472
What?
772
00:28:55,516 --> 00:28:56,778
Mm...
773
00:28:56,822 --> 00:28:58,954
JOSH:
I mean, I like impressionism
774
00:28:58,998 --> 00:29:02,001
because it disrupted
the aesthetic
775
00:29:02,044 --> 00:29:04,481
of the overly
realistic paintings
776
00:29:04,525 --> 00:29:07,528
that were being shown in the
Salon in Paris at the time,
777
00:29:07,571 --> 00:29:10,574
which was nota hair salon,
by the way. [laughs]
778
00:29:10,618 --> 00:29:14,491
Huh. I actually think
that's an unfair generalization
779
00:29:14,535 --> 00:29:17,103
of the Academy painters
of the late 19th century.
780
00:29:17,146 --> 00:29:19,192
[scoffs] Yeah.
781
00:29:19,235 --> 00:29:21,368
[laughs][laughs] Um, sorry.
782
00:29:21,411 --> 00:29:23,544
I wasn't expecting you
to disagree with my statement,
783
00:29:23,587 --> 00:29:25,328
which I had perceived as fact.
784
00:29:25,372 --> 00:29:27,330
Josh, can I stop you?
785
00:29:27,374 --> 00:29:28,549
I appreciate your effort,
786
00:29:28,592 --> 00:29:30,812
but I didn't come on this date
787
00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:33,206
to talk about art.
788
00:29:33,249 --> 00:29:34,685
But you're all about art.
789
00:29:34,729 --> 00:29:36,339
Not after 8:00 p.m.
After 8:00 p.m.,
790
00:29:36,383 --> 00:29:39,081
I am all about
shirtless deejays.
791
00:29:39,125 --> 00:29:40,343
Really?Mm-hmm.
792
00:29:40,387 --> 00:29:41,388
Is my bro DJ Skin-man
793
00:29:41,431 --> 00:29:42,955
spinning tonight? Dude!
794
00:29:42,998 --> 00:29:46,175
[chuckles] No, um,
I meant... I meant you.
795
00:29:46,219 --> 00:29:47,655
Me?Yeah.
796
00:29:47,698 --> 00:29:50,963
Your dating profile is
seven pictures of you shirtless.
797
00:29:51,006 --> 00:29:53,400
Your Instagram is you shirtless,
798
00:29:53,443 --> 00:29:56,533
doing karate.
You totally show off your bod.What?
799
00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:59,188
That's not me showing off
my bod. Those are my hobbies.
800
00:29:59,232 --> 00:30:00,842
Yeah, I've been doing them
since I was a kid.
801
00:30:00,886 --> 00:30:02,801
I'm... My shirt is off
because I run hot.
802
00:30:02,844 --> 00:30:04,367
Yeah, you do run hot.
803
00:30:04,411 --> 00:30:08,023
No. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
804
00:30:08,067 --> 00:30:09,503
[gasps]
Oh.
805
00:30:09,546 --> 00:30:11,810
[exhales]
I'm sorry.
806
00:30:11,853 --> 00:30:14,160
I misunderstood
what this date was.
807
00:30:14,203 --> 00:30:16,379
I wanted to sleep
with a hot deejay,
808
00:30:16,423 --> 00:30:18,860
and you wanted to talk about
the epistemological feud
809
00:30:18,904 --> 00:30:20,862
between Manet
and Jean-Léon Gérôme.
810
00:30:20,906 --> 00:30:23,647
Huh? What? No.
So confused.
811
00:30:23,691 --> 00:30:26,650
So you're not interested
in a relationship?
812
00:30:29,392 --> 00:30:31,438
Gosh, sorry.
813
00:30:31,481 --> 00:30:34,615
My Uber's calling. Mm.
814
00:30:34,658 --> 00:30:35,834
Oh, yeah.
815
00:30:35,877 --> 00:30:37,487
I-I just heard about that.
816
00:30:37,531 --> 00:30:39,881
Yeah. It's a thing.
817
00:30:39,925 --> 00:30:41,665
Hello. I'll be right out.
818
00:30:56,985 --> 00:30:58,160
Hey.
819
00:30:58,204 --> 00:30:59,858
Hey.
820
00:30:59,901 --> 00:31:02,469
Rebecca,
what are you doing here?
821
00:31:02,512 --> 00:31:04,471
It's from the
bar association.
822
00:31:04,514 --> 00:31:06,299
[muttering]
823
00:31:06,342 --> 00:31:09,128
Ah!
This is great news!
824
00:31:09,171 --> 00:31:10,738
See?
I told you.
825
00:31:10,781 --> 00:31:12,174
You're back.
826
00:31:12,218 --> 00:31:13,480
You're really back.
827
00:31:13,523 --> 00:31:14,655
Back in action.
828
00:31:14,698 --> 00:31:17,440
Well, all right.Oh...
829
00:31:17,484 --> 00:31:18,920
[Nathaniel clears throat]
830
00:31:23,446 --> 00:31:24,795
[coughs]
831
00:31:24,839 --> 00:31:27,973
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
832
00:31:28,016 --> 00:31:31,280
Oh, man, I'm just so happy
we can get back to work.
833
00:31:31,324 --> 00:31:32,499
Aren't you?
834
00:31:33,717 --> 00:31:36,068
Yeah. Yeah.
835
00:31:36,111 --> 00:31:37,547
Wendy, thrilling news:
836
00:31:37,591 --> 00:31:40,028
I called
the city council and said
837
00:31:40,072 --> 00:31:41,551
if they didn't lift
the zoning restriction
838
00:31:41,595 --> 00:31:43,989
that we would file a suit
under statute 45a.
839
00:31:44,032 --> 00:31:46,513
Um, so...
840
00:31:46,556 --> 00:31:50,125
Who let the zoning out,
yeah, yeah.
841
00:31:50,169 --> 00:31:52,127
[all laugh]
842
00:31:52,171 --> 00:31:53,520
This one.
[laughs]
843
00:31:53,563 --> 00:31:54,695
Yeah.[phone buzzes]
844
00:31:54,738 --> 00:31:57,393
Uh, sorry. One s-second.
845
00:31:57,437 --> 00:31:59,656
You know what?
846
00:31:59,700 --> 00:32:01,484
I should actually take this,
it's my friend
847
00:32:01,528 --> 00:32:03,182
from the zoning commission.
848
00:32:03,225 --> 00:32:04,531
Uh, it says it's Jim.
849
00:32:04,574 --> 00:32:06,663
I have more than one friend
named Jim, you racist.
850
00:32:06,707 --> 00:32:10,102
Excuse me for one moment.
851
00:32:10,145 --> 00:32:11,973
Hi. What's up?JIM: Corporate's here.
852
00:32:12,017 --> 00:32:13,801
They saw all the violations in
here and we're in trouble.
853
00:32:13,844 --> 00:32:14,802
I need you.
854
00:32:14,845 --> 00:32:16,282
Rebecca?
855
00:32:16,325 --> 00:32:17,631
You were saying?
856
00:32:25,073 --> 00:32:27,728
I'm sorry.
I am so sorry, sir.
857
00:32:27,771 --> 00:32:29,338
Hi. What's going on here?
858
00:32:29,382 --> 00:32:31,645
There are numerous violations
of ingredients and recipes,
859
00:32:31,688 --> 00:32:34,517
not to mention hair all over
your flour canister.
860
00:32:34,561 --> 00:32:36,519
Okay, I cannot wear a hair net,
not with this face shape.
861
00:32:36,563 --> 00:32:37,912
Sir, I'm an attorney.
Listen, I understand
862
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:39,131
that you have a
corporately-mandated way
863
00:32:39,174 --> 00:32:40,697
of doing things,
but we're just trying
864
00:32:40,741 --> 00:32:42,525
to increase the profit margins.
865
00:32:42,569 --> 00:32:44,353
I'm sorry, who are you?
866
00:32:44,397 --> 00:32:45,572
Oh, she's the
Rooftop Killer.
867
00:32:45,615 --> 00:32:48,792
Man. Narc by Narc Jacobs.
868
00:32:48,836 --> 00:32:52,361
Jim, we're gonna shut you down
until you return everything
869
00:32:52,405 --> 00:32:55,582
to franchise standards,
then you can reopen.
870
00:32:57,366 --> 00:32:59,020
Oh, my God, Jim.
Jim, I am so sorry.
871
00:32:59,064 --> 00:33:00,935
I-I will...
I will cover the cost
872
00:33:00,979 --> 00:33:03,329
to turn everything back
to the way it was.
873
00:33:03,372 --> 00:33:06,158
[exhales]
Yeah, don't bother.
874
00:33:06,201 --> 00:33:08,334
I haven't had a
good experience.
875
00:33:08,377 --> 00:33:10,118
I don't want to be
a boss. It's awful.
876
00:33:10,162 --> 00:33:13,034
I want someone to tell me
where to go and what to do,
877
00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:14,166
then I get to complain
to my friends
878
00:33:14,209 --> 00:33:15,906
and eat snacks
someone else paid for.
879
00:33:15,950 --> 00:33:17,386
I'm going back upstairs.
880
00:33:17,430 --> 00:33:20,172
Back to being a lawyer.
881
00:33:20,215 --> 00:33:21,564
N-n-n-n-no.
Hey, yeah, you can't.
882
00:33:21,608 --> 00:33:24,002
Watch me.["Don't Be a Lawyer" plays]
883
00:33:24,045 --> 00:33:25,786
♪ Whoo!
884
00:33:25,829 --> 00:33:27,875
♪ Uh.
885
00:33:30,312 --> 00:33:32,314
[sighs]
886
00:33:37,363 --> 00:33:38,494
Hey, Becks.
887
00:33:38,538 --> 00:33:40,714
Oh, hi.
888
00:33:40,757 --> 00:33:43,325
Why would anyone eat
hard pretzels? Do you know?
889
00:33:43,369 --> 00:33:46,502
They're just sad little
mummified soft pretzels.
890
00:33:47,851 --> 00:33:49,679
Oh, how was your date?
891
00:33:49,723 --> 00:33:51,029
Ugh, it was awful.
892
00:33:51,072 --> 00:33:52,552
I did all this research
to try to impress her,
893
00:33:52,595 --> 00:33:55,207
but she just wanted
Josh Chan for his body.
894
00:33:55,250 --> 00:33:57,426
Oh, is that why you're wearing
a very oversized sweatshirt?
895
00:33:57,470 --> 00:33:58,862
Can you see that I'm flexing?
896
00:33:58,906 --> 00:33:59,994
No.No.
897
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:01,387
No, you can't, and
that's on purpose.
898
00:34:01,430 --> 00:34:03,302
This gun show is
closed for business.
899
00:34:03,345 --> 00:34:04,433
Mm.
900
00:34:04,477 --> 00:34:06,566
I'm so disappointed.
901
00:34:06,609 --> 00:34:08,089
The-the girls
from high school--
902
00:34:08,133 --> 00:34:09,569
they just, like,
want Josh Chan
903
00:34:09,612 --> 00:34:11,223
the prom king on
their Christmas card.
904
00:34:11,266 --> 00:34:13,616
The art historians just want
to do it with some stud.
905
00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:15,923
And the thing is...
906
00:34:15,966 --> 00:34:18,099
I don't want to be a
concept or an object.
907
00:34:18,143 --> 00:34:21,407
Wow, that's... that's profound.
908
00:34:22,408 --> 00:34:24,410
You are killing
this therapy thing.
909
00:34:26,803 --> 00:34:28,762
So, uh, how did the date end?
910
00:34:28,805 --> 00:34:30,024
Oh, her Uber called.
911
00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:31,634
You know how
they call you now
912
00:34:31,678 --> 00:34:33,854
before you even order them just
to see if you want a ride?
913
00:34:33,897 --> 00:34:37,423
Oh, honey,
that makes no sense.
914
00:34:37,466 --> 00:34:39,729
Oh, yeah.
915
00:34:39,773 --> 00:34:41,340
Duh.
916
00:34:41,383 --> 00:34:43,385
[laughs]
That doesn't make sense.
917
00:34:43,429 --> 00:34:44,995
Pretzel?
918
00:34:45,039 --> 00:34:47,215
Uh, no, I'm good.Okay.
919
00:34:47,259 --> 00:34:50,088
Rebecca, I think I know
what I have to do.
920
00:34:50,131 --> 00:34:51,393
Really, what's that?
921
00:34:51,437 --> 00:34:52,742
Stop trying to be
who someone else
922
00:34:52,786 --> 00:34:56,050
wants me to be and...
923
00:34:56,094 --> 00:34:58,661
just try to be
who I want to be.
924
00:34:58,705 --> 00:35:00,968
Yeah...
925
00:35:01,011 --> 00:35:03,057
Yeah.
926
00:35:03,101 --> 00:35:05,407
That's a really good point.
927
00:35:06,974 --> 00:35:09,542
See?
You're smart.
928
00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:11,326
[knocking]
929
00:35:13,198 --> 00:35:15,200
Hey.Hey, honey. What's up?
930
00:35:15,243 --> 00:35:16,592
Hey. Come in.
931
00:35:16,636 --> 00:35:18,072
I want to talk to you
about something.
932
00:35:18,116 --> 00:35:20,857
Okay.
933
00:35:20,901 --> 00:35:23,208
[sighs]
934
00:35:23,251 --> 00:35:25,079
Um...
935
00:35:25,123 --> 00:35:26,646
so, yeah.
936
00:35:26,689 --> 00:35:28,952
Uh...
937
00:35:28,996 --> 00:35:30,998
Paula, I...
938
00:35:32,304 --> 00:35:34,306
I don't want to be
a lawyer anymore.
939
00:35:35,350 --> 00:35:37,091
I never wanted to.
940
00:35:37,135 --> 00:35:39,006
It was never my dream.
It was my mother's dream.
941
00:35:39,049 --> 00:35:40,050
Wow.
942
00:35:40,094 --> 00:35:41,095
And it's your dream.
943
00:35:41,139 --> 00:35:42,662
It's your dream,
which is great.
944
00:35:42,705 --> 00:35:44,185
The profession needs
more people like you,
945
00:35:44,229 --> 00:35:47,493
who care about all that
hideously boring crap.
946
00:35:47,536 --> 00:35:49,930
[laughs]
947
00:35:49,973 --> 00:35:52,802
Wow.
948
00:35:52,846 --> 00:35:56,676
So you're... never coming back
to the office?
949
00:35:58,678 --> 00:36:01,463
I don't think so. No.
950
00:36:01,507 --> 00:36:04,074
[chuckles softly]
951
00:36:04,118 --> 00:36:05,902
Where does that leave you?
952
00:36:13,432 --> 00:36:16,304
So, it wouldn't be
Pretzel Central anymore.
953
00:36:16,348 --> 00:36:19,873
It'd be my own thing.
954
00:36:19,916 --> 00:36:22,789
And I'm thinking
of calling it...
955
00:36:22,832 --> 00:36:25,400
Rebetzel's.
956
00:36:25,444 --> 00:36:26,880
Oh, I love it.
957
00:36:26,923 --> 00:36:29,404
You ending up owning
a pretzel shop--
958
00:36:29,448 --> 00:36:31,972
it feels right. It
feels like destiny,
959
00:36:32,015 --> 00:36:33,452
in a way.
960
00:36:33,495 --> 00:36:36,411
No. You know, I don't believe
in destiny anymore.
961
00:36:36,455 --> 00:36:37,934
I just believe in
962
00:36:37,978 --> 00:36:40,502
taking responsibility
963
00:36:40,546 --> 00:36:42,025
for your own happiness.
964
00:36:42,069 --> 00:36:43,940
And right now, for me,
965
00:36:43,984 --> 00:36:46,508
that's my friends,
966
00:36:46,552 --> 00:36:48,728
volunteering at the jail,
967
00:36:48,771 --> 00:36:50,599
and...
968
00:36:50,643 --> 00:36:52,862
this pretzel shop,
as crazy as that seems.
969
00:36:52,906 --> 00:36:55,561
And, Paula,
I'm so sorry to leave you
970
00:36:55,604 --> 00:36:56,649
hanging upstairs...Uh-uh, no, no, no.
971
00:36:56,692 --> 00:36:58,651
Stop. Don't apologize.
972
00:36:58,694 --> 00:37:00,957
As long as you are happy.
973
00:37:01,001 --> 00:37:02,437
That is what matters to me.
974
00:37:02,481 --> 00:37:04,874
[laughs]Truly.
975
00:37:04,918 --> 00:37:07,181
It always has.
976
00:37:07,225 --> 00:37:08,487
Oh.
977
00:37:08,530 --> 00:37:09,705
What time is it?
978
00:37:09,749 --> 00:37:10,793
Tim and I started
sharing a watch.
979
00:37:10,837 --> 00:37:12,317
I don't know why
I agreed to that.
980
00:37:12,360 --> 00:37:14,493
You know, we should go.
We don't want to be late.Okay.
981
00:37:14,536 --> 00:37:16,582
[sighs, laughs]
982
00:37:17,626 --> 00:37:18,801
Hey, man.
983
00:37:18,845 --> 00:37:20,412
Been a while.
984
00:37:20,455 --> 00:37:21,630
Psyched to play ball?
985
00:37:21,674 --> 00:37:23,153
We're not playing ball today.
986
00:37:23,197 --> 00:37:24,764
We're not?
987
00:37:30,378 --> 00:37:31,510
Is that a tuxedo?
988
00:37:31,553 --> 00:37:32,641
Yeah.
989
00:37:34,643 --> 00:37:35,862
[sniffs]
Is that for me?
990
00:37:35,905 --> 00:37:36,993
Yeah.
991
00:37:39,735 --> 00:37:41,868
[sniffs]
992
00:37:41,911 --> 00:37:44,523
[indistinct chatter]
993
00:37:47,613 --> 00:37:49,571
♪
994
00:37:49,615 --> 00:37:51,573
WOMAN:
Shh!
995
00:37:59,364 --> 00:38:01,322
[gasps]
996
00:38:01,366 --> 00:38:03,411
♪
997
00:38:20,689 --> 00:38:23,736
♪
998
00:38:42,798 --> 00:38:44,539
I thought you
didn't want this.
999
00:38:44,583 --> 00:38:48,021
I don't... but you do.
1000
00:38:48,064 --> 00:38:50,153
And that's what matters.
1001
00:38:50,197 --> 00:38:51,546
[sighs]
1002
00:38:51,590 --> 00:38:53,505
I love you.
1003
00:38:53,548 --> 00:38:55,071
I love you, too.
1004
00:38:55,115 --> 00:38:56,638
[both chuckle]
1005
00:38:56,682 --> 00:38:59,206
Let's do this.
1006
00:38:59,249 --> 00:39:00,729
BRAH:
You may be seated.
1007
00:39:03,428 --> 00:39:05,168
Do your thing, Brah.
1008
00:39:05,212 --> 00:39:07,562
Roger that, Heather.
1009
00:39:07,606 --> 00:39:09,216
But first, before we begin,
1010
00:39:09,259 --> 00:39:11,392
Heather has asked
a good friend who is
1011
00:39:11,436 --> 00:39:12,828
great with words
1012
00:39:12,872 --> 00:39:14,874
and also very proud of where
she went to college,
1013
00:39:14,917 --> 00:39:17,355
to say a little something.
1014
00:39:23,143 --> 00:39:25,841
Um, I love fairy tales.
1015
00:39:27,408 --> 00:39:28,801
And this is from
the greatest fairy tale
1016
00:39:28,844 --> 00:39:31,760
of all time: the Bible.
1017
00:39:31,804 --> 00:39:33,762
Oh.
1018
00:39:33,806 --> 00:39:35,416
I made some changes
because there's always room
1019
00:39:35,460 --> 00:39:37,244
for improvement.
1020
00:39:37,287 --> 00:39:39,333
[exhales]
Oh, okay.
1021
00:39:39,377 --> 00:39:41,161
"Love is patient,
1022
00:39:41,204 --> 00:39:43,555
"love is kind.
1023
00:39:43,598 --> 00:39:45,948
"Love is taking your boyfriend
1024
00:39:45,992 --> 00:39:48,124
"to the ER
for his pus-y black toe.
1025
00:39:48,168 --> 00:39:50,605
"Love is supporting
your girlfriend
1026
00:39:50,649 --> 00:39:54,087
"through her pregnancy
with someone else's baby.
1027
00:39:54,130 --> 00:39:57,090
"Love is finding your own path.
1028
00:39:57,133 --> 00:39:59,745
"When you travel
that path
1029
00:39:59,788 --> 00:40:01,747
"and find the one you love,
1030
00:40:01,790 --> 00:40:03,662
you should hold on tight."
1031
00:40:03,705 --> 00:40:06,752
Oh, God.
1032
00:40:06,795 --> 00:40:08,449
I love her.
1033
00:40:11,321 --> 00:40:13,976
I... I got to get her back.
1034
00:40:14,020 --> 00:40:15,761
Oh, damn it, I talked.
[snaps fingers]
1035
00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:25,423
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
1036
00:40:25,466 --> 00:40:28,426
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
1037
00:40:28,476 --> 00:40:33,026
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