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1
00:02:02,122 --> 00:02:03,146
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
2
00:02:03,223 --> 00:02:04,281
There is something
we could show you?
3
00:02:04,357 --> 00:02:06,917
Pajamas. Will you be so good as to step this way?
4
00:02:07,694 --> 00:02:09,127
May I call monsieur's
attention to the fact
5
00:02:09,195 --> 00:02:11,322
we are featuring a special sale at reduced prices
6
00:02:11,397 --> 00:02:14,161
of raincoats, umbrellas, tennis
racquets and portable phonographs.
7
00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:15,292
I want some pajamas.
8
00:02:15,368 --> 00:02:16,357
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
9
00:02:19,405 --> 00:02:21,396
May I interest monsieur
in a new men's perfume?
10
00:02:21,474 --> 00:02:23,840
In these days of greater
equality between the sexes,
11
00:02:23,910 --> 00:02:25,969
perfume should not be the
privilege of ladies only.
12
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:28,309
It is the contention of our
management that the man who smells
13
00:02:28,381 --> 00:02:29,507
is a thing
of the future.
14
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:30,571
You ought to
go a long way.
15
00:02:30,650 --> 00:02:31,674
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
16
00:02:31,751 --> 00:02:32,911
Service, Mr. Lelong.
17
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,476
Pajamas, size 42.
18
00:02:34,554 --> 00:02:35,714
Thank you, monsieur.
19
00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:40,787
Monsieur interested
in neckwear?
20
00:02:40,860 --> 00:02:42,987
A very becoming
tie, monsieur.
21
00:02:43,062 --> 00:02:44,723
We have the same
in maroon, dark green,
22
00:02:44,797 --> 00:02:46,697
orange, blue, and a very discreet pink.
23
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:50,134
Perhaps monsieur
would prefer a bow tie?
24
00:02:50,203 --> 00:02:51,295
No, thanks.
25
00:02:51,371 --> 00:02:52,429
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
26
00:02:52,505 --> 00:02:55,167
Not even in Paris could
monsieur find a wider selection.
27
00:02:55,241 --> 00:02:58,108
(CLEARING THROAT) I'll take this one. How much?
28
00:02:58,711 --> 00:02:59,735
200 francs.
29
00:03:00,780 --> 00:03:02,714
Here's 100.
I just want the tops.
30
00:03:02,782 --> 00:03:03,942
What?
31
00:03:04,150 --> 00:03:05,583
I don't want the pants, just the tops.
32
00:03:05,652 --> 00:03:08,951
Oh, I'm very sorry, monsieur, but we don't
sell the jackets without the pantalon.
33
00:03:09,022 --> 00:03:10,216
But I don't
sleep in pantalon,
34
00:03:10,290 --> 00:03:11,723
and I don't buy
stuff I don't use.
35
00:03:11,791 --> 00:03:13,452
What monsieur wants
is a nightshirt.
36
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:14,720
No, I don't
want a nightshirt.
37
00:03:14,794 --> 00:03:16,284
Take the 100 francs
and wrap it up.
38
00:03:16,362 --> 00:03:17,989
Why, it's a case
without precedent.
39
00:03:18,064 --> 00:03:19,554
We have no authority.
40
00:03:19,632 --> 00:03:21,532
I've had this argument all over the world.
41
00:03:21,601 --> 00:03:24,001
If it's a question of price,
monsieur, there are cheaper pajamas.
42
00:03:24,070 --> 00:03:27,198
It's not a question of price,
it's a matter of principle.
43
00:03:27,273 --> 00:03:30,265
This pajama business is a
racket, and I don't fall for it.
44
00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:33,471
90% of the male population
don't sleep in pajama pants,
45
00:03:33,546 --> 00:03:36,447
don't want pajama pants,
yet buy pajama pants.
46
00:03:37,817 --> 00:03:39,478
Be honest.
How about you?
47
00:03:42,188 --> 00:03:46,124
I'm an exceptional case, monsieur.
I sleep with just a muffler.
48
00:03:46,759 --> 00:03:47,885
And I, for my part, sleep with...
49
00:03:47,961 --> 00:03:49,861
Never mind. Do I get the coat or don't I?
50
00:03:49,929 --> 00:03:51,692
This is a revolutionary
request, monsieur.
51
00:03:52,065 --> 00:03:54,431
I must consult my superior. Just one moment.
52
00:04:04,544 --> 00:04:05,772
(INAUDIBLE)
53
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:35,669
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
54
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,545
Residence of monsieur de la
Coste. Very well, monsieur.
55
00:04:44,917 --> 00:04:46,509
They're calling from
your store, monsieur.
56
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:49,146
Monsieur the Vice President wishes
to speak to Monsieur the President
57
00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:51,247
on a very important matter.
58
00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:00,322
Yes, what is it? What?
59
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:05,636
Oh, no, no. Never, never.
Why, that is communism.
60
00:05:06,339 --> 00:05:09,968
Can't you sell him anything
else? What about a straw hat?
61
00:05:12,245 --> 00:05:13,542
Monsieur,
the management feels
62
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:14,977
that to sell
a pair of pajamas
63
00:05:15,048 --> 00:05:17,016
without the trousers
would create a precedent,
64
00:05:17,083 --> 00:05:19,074
and the consequences
might prove disastrous.
65
00:05:19,152 --> 00:05:20,141
Now, our president
says we've had
66
00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:21,846
enough trouble in
Europe as it is,
67
00:05:21,921 --> 00:05:23,513
and he wonders if you would be kind enough
68
00:05:23,589 --> 00:05:25,489
to look at a selection of straw hats?
69
00:05:25,558 --> 00:05:27,549
You tell your president
that if I can't buy
70
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:29,117
pajamas without
the trousers, I'll...
71
00:05:29,195 --> 00:05:33,564
I'll buy the trousers.
Yes, I may buy the trousers.
72
00:05:34,467 --> 00:05:36,264
How do you do?
How do you do, madame?
73
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,701
How do you do, madame?
How do you do?
74
00:05:37,770 --> 00:05:39,761
I'm looking for pajamas for a gentleman,
75
00:05:39,839 --> 00:05:42,637
and for his purpose
the trousers are enough.
76
00:05:43,409 --> 00:05:45,570
SALESMAN: A very
fortunate solution.
77
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:47,237
Yes, it certainly is.
78
00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:49,577
Provided we can agree on the
color and the pattern, of course.
79
00:05:49,682 --> 00:05:51,411
Well, how about
this blue pair?
80
00:05:51,551 --> 00:05:53,314
Oh, heavens, no.
It's too dark.
81
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:56,219
I like to see something gay
in the morning, don't you?
82
00:05:56,289 --> 00:05:59,349
Not too darned gay. There's not
a laugh in me before breakfast.
83
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:02,087
Oh, you should try to
brighten up your life.
84
00:06:02,161 --> 00:06:05,221
Now, let's see.
How about this one?
85
00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,095
Stripes?
I hate stripes.
86
00:06:07,166 --> 00:06:08,155
(LAUGHS)
87
00:06:08,234 --> 00:06:11,067
Oh, now, that's funny. When I
was standing at the other counter,
88
00:06:11,137 --> 00:06:13,230
I was watching you.
You were?
89
00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,705
Oh, I hope
you don't mind.
90
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:15,763
Not a bit.
91
00:06:16,642 --> 00:06:20,305
Well, I said to myself, now if I had
to select pajamas for that gentleman,
92
00:06:20,380 --> 00:06:22,211
what would I choose?
93
00:06:22,281 --> 00:06:26,377
And let me tell you, if ever
there was a stripey type, it's you.
94
00:06:26,719 --> 00:06:28,186
(GIGGLING)
95
00:06:28,254 --> 00:06:29,243
(MUMBLING)
96
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:32,291
Why don't you try it on?
97
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,216
All right.
98
00:06:38,064 --> 00:06:39,622
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
99
00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:55,677
What do you think?
Stunning.
100
00:06:55,748 --> 00:06:57,409
These things are so loud
I'd hear them in the dark.
101
00:06:57,483 --> 00:06:58,950
I have enough trouble
getting to sleep.
102
00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:01,282
(EXCLAIMS) You don't look
like a martyr to insomnia.
103
00:07:01,354 --> 00:07:03,345
Really. It's no joke.
I don't sleep well.
104
00:07:03,423 --> 00:07:05,687
Well, surely you can't
blame it on the pajamas.
105
00:07:05,758 --> 00:07:07,453
I guess you're right.
It's probably the climate.
106
00:07:07,527 --> 00:07:09,757
Now, don't blame it on the Riviera. I resent that.
107
00:07:09,829 --> 00:07:12,389
We have the best climate in the world
here, and we're very proud of it.
108
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:15,195
I'm sorry, I don't want to hurt
your feelings, but I don't sleep.
109
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:17,065
Maybe you should
see a doctor.
110
00:07:17,136 --> 00:07:19,036
(SIGHS) By the way, how many pillows do you use?
111
00:07:19,105 --> 00:07:20,129
None.
112
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,265
Did you ever try putting
two pillows under your feet?
113
00:07:22,341 --> 00:07:24,468
No. Don't do it. It's very bad.
114
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:26,736
Oh, do you know
what might help you?
115
00:07:26,813 --> 00:07:29,179
The method of
Professor Urganzeff.
116
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:30,237
What's that?
117
00:07:30,316 --> 00:07:32,045
Well, you take
a long word,
118
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:33,914
like "Czechoslovakia"
for instance,
119
00:07:33,986 --> 00:07:35,419
and you spell it
backwards.
120
00:07:35,488 --> 00:07:36,887
I can't even
spell it forward.
121
00:07:36,956 --> 00:07:38,446
Oh, you should
try it just once.
122
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:41,982
As you spell it backwards, you
stretch and yawn between each letter.
123
00:07:42,061 --> 00:07:43,961
(GASPS) You'll drift off in no time.
124
00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:45,054
Sounds swell.
125
00:07:45,131 --> 00:07:47,099
You'll take the stripes?
I'll take the stripes.
126
00:07:48,401 --> 00:07:49,561
All right,
I'll take the coat.
127
00:07:49,635 --> 00:07:50,624
And I'll take
the trousers.
128
00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:52,034
How shall we
divide the charges?
129
00:07:52,104 --> 00:07:53,867
Well, that should be simple.
The whole pajamas cost...
130
00:07:53,940 --> 00:07:56,067
200 francs.
Well, 50-50.
131
00:07:56,142 --> 00:07:58,042
Oh, that's not fair. You
should pay more for the coat.
132
00:07:58,110 --> 00:07:59,873
But there's more
material in the pants.
133
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:03,006
But don't forget I threw in Professor Urganzeff.
134
00:08:03,082 --> 00:08:06,074
Oh, about this "Czechoslovakia." When do I do it?
135
00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:08,484
You go to bed and turn out
the lights, and then you start.
136
00:08:08,554 --> 00:08:11,580
Oh, it's wonderful
and so easy.
137
00:08:11,657 --> 00:08:17,220
A- l-K...
138
00:08:17,296 --> 00:08:18,320
(MOANING)
139
00:08:18,397 --> 00:08:19,728
You only have to
worry about "Slovakia."
140
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:22,063
By the time you reach "Czech" you're fast asleep.
141
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:24,534
All right, I'll pay 125. Very well, monsieur.
142
00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:30,234
That makes 125 for monsieur,
and 75 francs for madame.
143
00:08:32,712 --> 00:08:35,579
Will you be so kind as to pay cashier number nine?
144
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:39,340
Right here, please.
145
00:08:39,418 --> 00:08:41,613
You will receive your packages
at the adjoining counter.
146
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:44,820
Thank you.
147
00:08:50,162 --> 00:08:51,356
It must be pretty nice for a husband
148
00:08:51,430 --> 00:08:53,227
to have a wife who picks up bargains for him.
149
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:55,767
Kind of restores
your faith in marriage.
150
00:08:55,835 --> 00:08:57,598
I'm sorry to shatter your illusions.
151
00:08:57,670 --> 00:08:59,900
I'm not buying these
trousers for a husband.
152
00:08:59,972 --> 00:09:00,961
(EXCLAIMS)
153
00:09:02,942 --> 00:09:06,105
Well, you see, madame...
Or is it mademoiselle?
154
00:09:06,178 --> 00:09:07,304
It's kind of
tough for a foreigner.
155
00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:08,972
Sometimes you say madame
when it's mademoiselle,
156
00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:10,378
and sometimes you
say mademoiselle...
157
00:09:10,449 --> 00:09:12,508
Now, look here,
I think I can help you.
158
00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:13,677
You want to know
if I'm married?
159
00:09:13,753 --> 00:09:15,584
Yes.
I'm not.
160
00:09:18,024 --> 00:09:20,822
(EXCLAIMS) Well, I'm a pretty tall man, you know.
161
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,827
(LAUGHS)
Oh, so I see.
162
00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:24,123
Well, it's kind of
hard to believe that
163
00:09:24,196 --> 00:09:27,359
someone who is
as little and as dainty
164
00:09:27,433 --> 00:09:30,561
and, as you French say,
as petite as you
165
00:09:30,636 --> 00:09:32,126
could have such
a big brother.
166
00:09:33,139 --> 00:09:34,606
I have no brother.
167
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:37,933
Well, don't tell me you're
buying those pajamas for yourself.
168
00:09:38,010 --> 00:09:39,739
After all, I'm 6'3".
169
00:09:40,112 --> 00:09:43,570
(LAUGHS) There are other
tall men in the world.
170
00:09:46,185 --> 00:09:47,345
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
171
00:09:48,354 --> 00:09:49,446
Goodbye, monsieur.
172
00:09:49,522 --> 00:09:51,080
Goodbye, mademoiselle.
Goodbye.
173
00:09:53,092 --> 00:09:54,081
Make it snappy,
will you?
174
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,149
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
175
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:57,251
Tell me, who was that lady?
176
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,763
Oh, she's very charming,
isn't she, monsieur?
177
00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:00,162
Well, I know that,
but who is she?
178
00:10:00,232 --> 00:10:02,700
The story writes itself, doesn't it?
179
00:10:02,768 --> 00:10:04,497
What do you mean?
Well, a beautiful lady buys
180
00:10:04,570 --> 00:10:06,060
a pair of pajamas
for a gentleman.
181
00:10:06,138 --> 00:10:09,232
She has no husband. She has no brother. Voil�.
182
00:10:09,342 --> 00:10:11,367
Voil� what?
A lady in love.
183
00:10:11,577 --> 00:10:15,843
(GRUNTS) You Frenchmen always think
the worst. Maybe it was for an uncle.
184
00:10:15,915 --> 00:10:19,248
Oh, no, monsieur. For an uncle, you buy a pipe.
185
00:10:19,318 --> 00:10:21,286
But why did she
buy just the pants?
186
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:23,151
Love has its own
secrets, monsieur.
187
00:10:23,222 --> 00:10:24,211
(CHUCKLES)
188
00:10:25,157 --> 00:10:26,317
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
189
00:10:30,329 --> 00:10:31,353
How about a straw hat, monsieur?
190
00:10:31,430 --> 00:10:32,829
(SHOUTS) Leave me alone.
191
00:11:20,913 --> 00:11:24,007
A- I...
192
00:11:27,853 --> 00:11:28,842
...K...
193
00:11:35,795 --> 00:11:36,784
...A...
194
00:11:38,330 --> 00:11:39,558
(YAWNING LOUDLY)
195
00:11:42,902 --> 00:11:43,891
...V...
196
00:12:08,394 --> 00:12:13,661
A- l-K...
197
00:12:16,368 --> 00:12:19,337
(YAWNING)...A-V...
198
00:12:21,807 --> 00:12:23,172
(BRANDON SNORING)
199
00:12:33,619 --> 00:12:35,712
It doesn't work.
200
00:12:41,861 --> 00:12:43,158
Give us one more
chance, monsieur.
201
00:12:43,229 --> 00:12:45,322
I'm certain that you
will like Apartment 418.
202
00:12:45,397 --> 00:12:47,695
There's nothing wrong with the
apartment downstairs. It's that ocean.
203
00:12:47,767 --> 00:12:49,667
But this is a different
floor. But it's the same ocean.
204
00:12:49,735 --> 00:12:52,397
But don't forget, monsieur, that
up here you're 22 feet higher.
205
00:12:52,471 --> 00:12:54,132
What sounds like a wild ocean on the third floor,
206
00:12:54,206 --> 00:12:57,300
on the fourth, sounds like a
little difficulty with the plumbing.
207
00:12:57,376 --> 00:12:58,536
There.
208
00:12:58,844 --> 00:13:02,245
Voil�, monsieur. This is the most
exquisite suite on the Riviera.
209
00:13:02,348 --> 00:13:04,680
Show me the bedroom. If you
please, monsieur, this way.
210
00:13:07,386 --> 00:13:10,981
This, monsieur, is the most
elegant bedchamber in our entire...
211
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:17,719
Hello.
Hello.
212
00:13:19,465 --> 00:13:21,763
And now if monsieur would
inspect the rest of the apartment?
213
00:13:21,834 --> 00:13:23,426
If you please,
monsieur.
214
00:13:25,771 --> 00:13:27,864
Does he go with the place? No,
no, monsieur. It is nothing.
215
00:13:27,940 --> 00:13:28,929
Just a slight
misunderstanding.
216
00:13:29,008 --> 00:13:29,997
If you please.
217
00:13:30,075 --> 00:13:31,406
(INDISTINCT MUMBLING)
218
00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:35,743
Monsieur le Marquis,
you have caused
219
00:13:35,815 --> 00:13:37,407
this hotel
grave embarrassment.
220
00:13:37,483 --> 00:13:39,348
You had ample
warning to move out.
221
00:13:39,418 --> 00:13:41,613
I have not yet
given up this apartment.
222
00:13:41,687 --> 00:13:43,746
You have been moved
to Apartment 53.
223
00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,552
Next to the servants'
quarters? Never.
224
00:13:45,624 --> 00:13:46,886
May I remind you
that you haven't paid
225
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:48,187
your bills for the last two months?
226
00:13:48,260 --> 00:13:51,787
And may I remind you that I am heartily
disgusted with the food in this hotel?
227
00:13:51,864 --> 00:13:54,731
You are in no position to complain.
Last Wednesday, for instance.
228
00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:55,892
That steak was tough.
229
00:13:55,968 --> 00:13:57,026
Maybe it was.
230
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:59,161
But that was no reason for you
to disturb the whole dining room
231
00:13:59,238 --> 00:14:00,671
by calling for
a hammer and chisel.
232
00:14:00,739 --> 00:14:04,470
I do not permit any such criticism
of my behavior from a hotel employee.
233
00:14:04,543 --> 00:14:06,773
Then why don't you leave the hotel? I will.
234
00:14:06,846 --> 00:14:08,643
Not before you've paid your 60,000 francs.
235
00:14:08,714 --> 00:14:10,648
You're going to be paid,
to the last sou.
236
00:14:10,716 --> 00:14:12,183
(SCOFFS) I've heard
that before, monsieur.
237
00:14:12,251 --> 00:14:14,014
Oh, you'll regret
this, my good man.
238
00:14:14,086 --> 00:14:16,953
I am in communication with
an American multi-millionaire.
239
00:14:17,022 --> 00:14:18,011
(GRUNTS)
240
00:14:18,090 --> 00:14:20,786
I have submitted to him a business
proposition of such magnitude
241
00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:24,318
that the mention of 60,000 francs makes me laugh.
242
00:14:25,064 --> 00:14:26,531
Has he accepted?
243
00:14:26,599 --> 00:14:28,294
Well, he hasn't refused.
244
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:29,527
I mailed my letter Monday.
245
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,763
Well, you can wait for
your answer in Apartment 53.
246
00:14:31,837 --> 00:14:32,861
I will not.
247
00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:36,339
Unless these rooms are vacated in
one hour, we'll clear them by force.
248
00:14:40,012 --> 00:14:41,309
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
249
00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:46,582
This is the Marquis
de Loiselle speaking.
250
00:14:46,652 --> 00:14:49,678
Mr. Brandon? Oh, Mr. Brandon, how do you do?
251
00:14:49,755 --> 00:14:52,553
Bonjour, bonjour,
bonjour, Mr. Brandon.
252
00:14:52,791 --> 00:14:54,349
Did you get my letter,
Mr. Brandon?
253
00:14:54,426 --> 00:14:56,758
What do you think
about my proposition?
254
00:14:56,829 --> 00:14:58,456
Hello? Hello?
255
00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:02,128
You're talking from New York? From New York?
256
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:05,500
(TALKING LOUDLY) Oh, I thought
you were in Nice, Mr. Brandon.
257
00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:08,369
I said, I thought you were in Nice, Mr. Brandon.
258
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:12,968
Can you hear me? Hello?
Mr. Brandon. Mr. Brandon.
259
00:15:13,045 --> 00:15:15,980
What? You want to
speak to Mr. Brandon?
260
00:15:16,181 --> 00:15:17,205
(EXCLAIMS)
261
00:15:17,283 --> 00:15:23,153
Hold it. I'm coming. Thanks.
New York? Brandon speaking.
262
00:15:24,790 --> 00:15:28,487
How's the market, Jeff?
Canadian General dropped to 85?
263
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:33,827
Buy 300,000 more. How's
Pacific Limited? Fine. Sell it.
264
00:15:33,899 --> 00:15:38,131
Add another $500,000 and buy Gusher
Petroleum to the whole amount.
265
00:15:39,071 --> 00:15:40,470
Yeah.
266
00:15:40,572 --> 00:15:43,973
Did you get an estimate on
the tin factory at Peepeck?
267
00:15:44,043 --> 00:15:46,841
$2,125,000?
268
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:50,609
It's a bargain. Buy it. Operator.
Don't interrupt, Operator.
269
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,243
I know it's three minutes. Hello, Jeff.
270
00:15:53,385 --> 00:15:55,979
Say, did you read
the Sunday paper?
271
00:15:56,689 --> 00:15:59,556
How did Flash Gordon get out
of that burning submarine?
272
00:15:59,625 --> 00:16:03,083
He didn't? Oh,
not till next Sunday?
273
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:08,793
All right. Send me a wire. So long. Thanks.
274
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:11,199
(STUTTERING) Just a second. Mr. Brandon.
275
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,670
Yes? I am the Marquis de Loiselle.
276
00:16:13,739 --> 00:16:15,070
How do you do? I'm very glad to have met you.
277
00:16:15,140 --> 00:16:17,074
Well, well, well,
don't you know who I am?
278
00:16:17,142 --> 00:16:18,700
Well, you just told me.
A marquis.
279
00:16:19,511 --> 00:16:21,979
Well, that's somewhere between
a count and a duke, isn't it?
280
00:16:22,047 --> 00:16:24,015
I wrote to you about
a business proposition.
281
00:16:24,083 --> 00:16:26,574
Well, I get 100 business propositions a day.
282
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:28,177
What did you
say your name was?
283
00:16:28,253 --> 00:16:29,277
De Loiselle.
284
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:31,380
L- O-I-S-E-L-L-E.
285
00:16:31,457 --> 00:16:33,982
Oh, Mr. Loiselle.
Sure, I remember.
286
00:16:34,059 --> 00:16:35,617
Well, what do you
think about my idea?
287
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:36,956
Great.
Isn't it?
288
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,997
One of the best projects
ever submitted to me.
289
00:16:39,064 --> 00:16:42,795
Terrific possibilities. It's a
gold mine. Millions in it, millions.
290
00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:44,529
Then you'll do it?
No.
291
00:16:44,603 --> 00:16:45,797
Why not?
It isn't worth a nickel
292
00:16:45,871 --> 00:16:47,099
unless it's handled right.
293
00:16:47,206 --> 00:16:49,970
Oh, naturally, Mr. Brandon.
But with my experience?
294
00:16:50,042 --> 00:16:51,100
Let me tell you
what I've done.
295
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,837
Don't bother. I know everything about you.
296
00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:55,539
For instance, in 1924, why did you induce
297
00:16:55,614 --> 00:16:57,445
a Mr. Bernier to finance automobile races?
298
00:16:57,516 --> 00:17:01,577
Why, he was a very rich man. He
had the money. I had the experience.
299
00:17:01,653 --> 00:17:04,554
When the races were over, you had
the money and he had the experience.
300
00:17:04,623 --> 00:17:08,719
Your bank account is overdrawn 10,675 francs.
301
00:17:08,794 --> 00:17:09,988
How did you know that?
302
00:17:10,062 --> 00:17:11,825
If a man wants to do business with me,
303
00:17:11,897 --> 00:17:13,626
I have to know
everything about him.
304
00:17:13,699 --> 00:17:15,462
Always check up.
Always investigate.
305
00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:18,367
Oh, that's an excellent idea.
This world is full of scoundrels.
306
00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:20,632
You bet it is.
So long, Mr. Loiselle.
307
00:17:20,706 --> 00:17:22,867
But, Mr. Brandon...
I'm sorry, I'm a busy man.
308
00:17:23,175 --> 00:17:25,871
Mr. Brandon, if you won't
finance my business project,
309
00:17:25,944 --> 00:17:28,037
would you be interested
in buying a bathtub?
310
00:17:28,113 --> 00:17:29,705
A what?
I have in my possession
311
00:17:29,782 --> 00:17:33,479
one of the glories of France, the
one and only bathtub of Louis XIV.
312
00:17:33,552 --> 00:17:34,678
Sorry, I use a shower.
313
00:17:34,753 --> 00:17:36,186
Oh, but you wouldn't
have to use it as a tub.
314
00:17:36,255 --> 00:17:38,553
You could put it in your
library, use it as an ashtray.
315
00:17:38,624 --> 00:17:40,091
Always throw my
ashes on the carpet.
316
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:42,127
Carpet. Carpet.
I can sell you a carpet.
317
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:45,163
Mr. Brandon. Mr. Brandon.
318
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,627
Mr. Brandon.
Mr. Brandon.
319
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:52,568
No, no, no. I'm sorry.
I tell you I can't...
320
00:17:58,544 --> 00:18:00,307
Aren't you ashamed?
A man of your age
321
00:18:00,379 --> 00:18:02,438
fooling around
with a sweetheart.
322
00:18:02,514 --> 00:18:03,503
You know that, too.
323
00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,574
I only have to look at your
pants, and I know everything.
324
00:18:06,652 --> 00:18:10,452
My pantalon? Oh, I must apologize, of course.
325
00:18:10,522 --> 00:18:12,956
They certainly don't match,
and they are very much too long,
326
00:18:13,025 --> 00:18:16,552
but you see... Well, you
know my financial situation.
327
00:18:16,628 --> 00:18:19,426
My daughter tries to economize. Your daughter?
328
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,863
She bought these
for me yesterday.
329
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,264
My coat's still good,
you see.
330
00:18:22,334 --> 00:18:23,926
The girl who
bought those pants...
331
00:18:24,002 --> 00:18:25,993
Is my daughter.
332
00:18:26,071 --> 00:18:27,095
Is she married?
No.
333
00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:28,161
Engaged?
No.
334
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:30,003
In love with anyone?
No, no, no.
335
00:18:30,075 --> 00:18:31,303
I'll buy the bathtub.
336
00:18:31,376 --> 00:18:32,843
You'll buy the bathtub,
Mr. Brandon?
337
00:18:32,911 --> 00:18:36,506
Don't call me Mr. Brandon. Call
me Mike. We're gonna be related.
338
00:18:39,051 --> 00:18:42,452
It's only a matter of form.
Do you want to know something?
339
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:44,250
I'm beginning to
believe in pants.
340
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:45,312
If you hadn't
worn those pants,
341
00:18:45,390 --> 00:18:47,381
I never would have
bought that bathtub.
342
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,949
Do you want to know
something else?
343
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:53,225
We're going to celebrate our
honeymoon in Czechoslovakia. Yes, sir.
344
00:18:53,966 --> 00:18:55,297
(YODELING)
345
00:18:59,471 --> 00:19:01,098
Albert.
346
00:19:02,074 --> 00:19:03,302
Nicole.
347
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:06,273
Hello, Nicole.
Hello. I'm sorry I'm late.
348
00:19:06,345 --> 00:19:07,607
I was detained at
the beauty shop.
349
00:19:07,679 --> 00:19:08,771
That's all right, Nicole.
350
00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:10,007
Right in the middle
of a manicure,
351
00:19:10,082 --> 00:19:13,415
the proprietor came in and
presented me with last month's bill.
352
00:19:13,485 --> 00:19:14,474
Did you pay him?
353
00:19:14,553 --> 00:19:15,884
What do you think?
354
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,320
You know, the same thing
happened to me once with a doctor,
355
00:19:19,391 --> 00:19:21,052
in the middle
of an operation.
356
00:19:21,126 --> 00:19:24,584
Do you realize I'm probably the
only living man with just one tonsil?
357
00:19:24,663 --> 00:19:26,563
(LAUGHS) Albert, I'd like
to talk to you seriously.
358
00:19:26,632 --> 00:19:28,293
Do you think that's possible, by any chance?
359
00:19:28,367 --> 00:19:29,834
Money troubles?
360
00:19:29,902 --> 00:19:31,096
Let's sit down.
361
00:19:31,603 --> 00:19:33,127
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
362
00:19:33,238 --> 00:19:35,832
Oh, it's terrible.
We owe everybody.
363
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:38,843
Have you ever had a waiter
look at you with un-tipped eyes?
364
00:19:38,911 --> 00:19:40,105
And the elevator boy.
365
00:19:40,179 --> 00:19:42,340
When I say, "Fourth floor,"
he says, "Yes, mademoiselle, "
366
00:19:42,414 --> 00:19:44,245
and makes a detour
through the basement.
367
00:19:44,316 --> 00:19:45,613
It's humiliating.
368
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:46,912
Oh, I wish
I could help you.
369
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:50,546
You can. You're the only person I know who works.
370
00:19:50,622 --> 00:19:52,112
Albert, how does
one get a job?
371
00:19:52,191 --> 00:19:53,351
Well, what can
you do, Nicole?
372
00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:58,328
Nothing. Absolutely nothing. You
know, it's incredible how useless I am.
373
00:19:58,397 --> 00:20:01,525
I was thinking about it last
night, and I got terribly depressed.
374
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:05,730
And then I remembered that you found
a job, and that encouraged me a lot.
375
00:20:06,972 --> 00:20:08,166
Hello.
376
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:09,400
Hello.
377
00:20:09,474 --> 00:20:10,873
Someone you know?
378
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:11,967
I met him once.
379
00:20:12,044 --> 00:20:13,534
Who is he?
380
00:20:13,612 --> 00:20:15,739
All I know is he only sleeps
in the tops of his pajamas.
381
00:20:15,814 --> 00:20:17,145
Oh, I see.
382
00:20:22,154 --> 00:20:23,416
Hey, you.
383
00:20:24,156 --> 00:20:25,350
Are you speaking to me?
384
00:20:25,424 --> 00:20:27,119
(CHUCKLES) I beg your pardon. I mean him.
385
00:20:27,192 --> 00:20:28,955
Oh, he can't talk
to me like that.
386
00:20:29,027 --> 00:20:30,051
I should hope not.
387
00:20:30,128 --> 00:20:31,220
Well, don't worry,
I'll show him.
388
00:20:31,296 --> 00:20:32,388
Good.
389
00:20:35,334 --> 00:20:37,325
Well?
Well?
390
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:39,131
Well, good morning.
391
00:20:39,204 --> 00:20:40,432
(CLEARS THROAT)
Morning.
392
00:20:40,505 --> 00:20:42,234
Mind if I sit down?
Sit down.
393
00:20:43,609 --> 00:20:46,737
You know, I was just saying
to the lady I'm with, I said,
394
00:20:46,812 --> 00:20:50,373
"Look, who's that good-looking
chap over there?" Yes.
395
00:20:51,950 --> 00:20:53,941
You know, your face
looks familiar to me.
396
00:20:54,052 --> 00:20:57,021
Oh, I know where we met. At the
races at Deauville last summer.
397
00:20:57,089 --> 00:20:59,523
I wasn't at Deauville last
year, and neither were you.
398
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:03,493
I beg your pardon. You can't speak
to me like that. How dare you?
399
00:21:05,130 --> 00:21:07,360
(RAISING VOICE) I said I was at
the races last summer. You weren't.
400
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:08,922
I wasn't?
No.
401
00:21:09,668 --> 00:21:10,657
(EXCLAIMS)
402
00:21:10,736 --> 00:21:11,725
(GROANS)
403
00:21:12,638 --> 00:21:13,627
(SOFTLY) How do you know?
404
00:21:13,705 --> 00:21:15,673
I know everything about you.
You're the Count de Regnier.
405
00:21:15,807 --> 00:21:18,332
You're a bank clerk, Paris branch
of the New York Discount Bank.
406
00:21:18,410 --> 00:21:20,901
You get 2,000 francs a month,
and you're not worth it.
407
00:21:20,979 --> 00:21:22,810
You work in Room Six
at the desk by the window,
408
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:25,315
and you spend most of your
time looking out the window.
409
00:21:25,384 --> 00:21:26,373
Are you a detective?
410
00:21:26,451 --> 00:21:27,543
No, I own the bank.
411
00:21:27,619 --> 00:21:29,416
(STUTTERING)
Oh, Mr. Brandon.
412
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:31,544
It's my boss.
413
00:21:31,623 --> 00:21:32,920
Better not be
too rough with him.
414
00:21:32,991 --> 00:21:34,549
Well, I don't know.
415
00:21:35,360 --> 00:21:36,452
At your service,
Mr. Brandon.
416
00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:37,893
What are you doing
on the Riviera anyway,
417
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,624
when your vacation
was over last Friday?
418
00:21:39,698 --> 00:21:41,893
Oh, was it? It's amazing how time flies, isn't it?
419
00:21:41,967 --> 00:21:43,730
Since you're here, you might
as well act as my secretary.
420
00:21:43,835 --> 00:21:45,097
Yes, sir.
421
00:21:45,570 --> 00:21:47,094
Take a letter.
Yes, sir.
422
00:21:47,706 --> 00:21:52,109
"Museum of Fine Arts, Hannibal,
Michigan." That's my hometown.
423
00:21:52,210 --> 00:21:53,973
"Gentlemen,
within the next few days,
424
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:55,946
"I am shipping you
the bathtub of Louis XIV."
425
00:21:56,014 --> 00:21:57,003
You bought it?
426
00:21:57,082 --> 00:21:59,550
Soon as I saw
your father's pants.
427
00:21:59,618 --> 00:22:00,983
"They tell me said
bathtub is genuine.
428
00:22:01,053 --> 00:22:04,147
"I can't guarantee this because I
wasn't around when Louis was bathing.
429
00:22:04,222 --> 00:22:08,022
"But, in any case, it cost
plenty. Yours truly," and so forth.
430
00:22:08,093 --> 00:22:10,891
Go to Room 307, type that and
wait for me. Here's the key.
431
00:22:10,962 --> 00:22:12,953
Yes, sir.
Sorry, Nicole.
432
00:22:13,031 --> 00:22:14,521
I understand.
433
00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:19,098
Still crazy about me?
434
00:22:19,171 --> 00:22:22,334
(LAUGHS) Oh, it would be hard to
resist a man of your natural charm
435
00:22:22,407 --> 00:22:23,874
and finesse,
Mr. Brandon.
436
00:22:23,942 --> 00:22:26,103
I love the delicate way
you talk to your employees
437
00:22:26,178 --> 00:22:29,375
and still indicate that you're
not quite pleased with them.
438
00:22:29,448 --> 00:22:31,541
You seem to be
a man full of innuendos.
439
00:22:31,616 --> 00:22:33,447
I just try to
make myself clear.
440
00:22:33,518 --> 00:22:35,315
Are you staying
here long?
441
00:22:35,387 --> 00:22:37,116
Well, you never can tell.
442
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,850
You know, I'm pretty glad
I came to the Riviera.
443
00:22:38,924 --> 00:22:41,757
Oh, yes, it's a lovely place. Beautiful.
444
00:22:41,827 --> 00:22:45,285
But the class of people who
come here gets worse every year.
445
00:22:45,364 --> 00:22:48,891
And this year we seem to have
next year's crowd already.
446
00:22:49,801 --> 00:22:52,201
It's been interesting
to meet you, Mr. Brandon.
447
00:23:37,382 --> 00:23:39,077
How about marrying me?
448
00:23:39,684 --> 00:23:40,912
How did you get here?
449
00:23:40,986 --> 00:23:43,477
Just called the French navy.
A battleship dropped me.
450
00:23:43,555 --> 00:23:46,524
Oh, yes, I forgot.
You're an important person.
451
00:23:46,625 --> 00:23:49,958
Say, can I talk business with you? Business?
452
00:23:50,028 --> 00:23:52,826
I have a complaint.
Czechoslovakia.
453
00:23:52,898 --> 00:23:54,388
Didn't it work?
454
00:23:54,466 --> 00:23:57,663
It made matters worse. It reminded
me of you, I never shut an eye.
455
00:23:57,736 --> 00:23:59,033
I couldn't get
you out of my mind.
456
00:23:59,104 --> 00:24:01,095
A couple more nights like that
and I'd be a nervous wreck.
457
00:24:01,173 --> 00:24:04,472
I'm in a bad way. You know, I'm crazy about you.
458
00:24:04,543 --> 00:24:07,103
Why, poor Mr. Brandon.
It's no joke.
459
00:24:07,179 --> 00:24:09,170
The minute I saw you in
that store, I said to myself,
460
00:24:09,247 --> 00:24:11,044
"There's the girl
I'm going to marry."
461
00:24:11,116 --> 00:24:12,413
Does that seem
kind of sudden?
462
00:24:12,484 --> 00:24:15,282
Oh, no, no. A man in your
position can't waste time.
463
00:24:15,353 --> 00:24:16,411
I believe
in snap judgments.
464
00:24:16,488 --> 00:24:19,218
That's the foundation of my business
and the secret of my success.
465
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:21,259
I act on the spur of the moment. I act on impulse.
466
00:24:21,326 --> 00:24:24,159
Now, Mr. Brandon,
don't be too spontaneous.
467
00:24:24,229 --> 00:24:27,460
I hate overtures. Lovemaking
is the red tape of marriage.
468
00:24:27,532 --> 00:24:30,228
It doesn't get you anywhere. I
could take you out for three months
469
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,929
and send you flowers
and all that flapdoodle,
470
00:24:32,003 --> 00:24:34,437
and I wouldn't know any more
about you than I do right now.
471
00:24:34,506 --> 00:24:36,064
It's only after the marriage that you find out.
472
00:24:36,141 --> 00:24:37,972
That you've got
the wrong girl.
473
00:24:38,043 --> 00:24:39,067
Or the right one.
474
00:24:39,144 --> 00:24:41,135
Love and business, it's just
the same, you have to gamble.
475
00:24:41,213 --> 00:24:42,407
You have to
take chances.
476
00:24:42,481 --> 00:24:43,812
Only yesterday
I took a chance in oil.
477
00:24:43,882 --> 00:24:45,179
(EXCLAIMS) How is oil?
478
00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:47,309
Fine. Went up five points. How's steel?
479
00:24:47,385 --> 00:24:51,583
Not so good. Say, are you interested in finance?
480
00:24:51,656 --> 00:24:53,419
(LAUGHING)
I should say I am.
481
00:24:53,492 --> 00:24:55,517
Gee, that's swell. We're
going to have a great time.
482
00:24:55,594 --> 00:24:56,618
Yes.
483
00:24:56,695 --> 00:24:57,753
(BOTH LAUGHING)
484
00:24:57,829 --> 00:24:58,887
What do you say?
485
00:24:58,964 --> 00:25:00,261
Pardon me, Mr. Brandon.
486
00:25:00,332 --> 00:25:02,892
Was it "Yours very truly"
or "Very truly yours"?
487
00:25:02,968 --> 00:25:04,833
Make it "Sincerely."
Yes, sir.
488
00:25:07,239 --> 00:25:08,467
Now, where were we?
489
00:25:08,540 --> 00:25:09,734
On the stock market.
490
00:25:09,808 --> 00:25:12,868
Oh, stop kidding. I'm asking
you to marry me, seriously.
491
00:25:12,944 --> 00:25:15,139
Oh, let's not be
too hasty, Mr. Brandon.
492
00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:17,477
Don't you want to know a
little something more about me?
493
00:25:17,549 --> 00:25:20,177
Ask me a few questions before
you definitely make up your mind?
494
00:25:20,252 --> 00:25:23,653
No. Not even how I feel about this matter?
495
00:25:23,722 --> 00:25:24,780
(LAUGHS) Well, I...
496
00:25:24,856 --> 00:25:28,383
Oh, no, perhaps that doesn't
occur to a man with $50 million.
497
00:25:28,460 --> 00:25:30,451
I haven't $50 million.
498
00:25:30,529 --> 00:25:32,895
You haven't $50 million?
499
00:25:32,964 --> 00:25:33,953
Not quite.
500
00:25:34,032 --> 00:25:35,863
Oh, well, Mr. Brandon.
501
00:25:35,934 --> 00:25:39,927
A man with your manners can't possibly
afford to have less than $50 million.
502
00:25:40,005 --> 00:25:41,996
You're behaving
beyond your income.
503
00:25:42,073 --> 00:25:43,768
I'll make the rest
of it if you say so.
504
00:25:43,842 --> 00:25:46,834
I'm sure you will, any morning before breakfast.
505
00:25:46,912 --> 00:25:52,043
Mr. Brandon, you're terrific.
You're gigantic. You're breathtaking.
506
00:25:52,117 --> 00:25:55,086
I wish someone would tell you
what I really think of you.
507
00:25:56,621 --> 00:25:58,418
(MOTOR WHIRRING)
508
00:26:24,616 --> 00:26:25,605
(BELL DINGING)
509
00:26:25,717 --> 00:26:26,775
Come in.
510
00:26:34,092 --> 00:26:35,081
How do you do, Mr. Brandon?
511
00:26:35,160 --> 00:26:36,184
(DOOR CLOSING)
512
00:26:36,261 --> 00:26:37,250
BRANDON: Hello, Albert.
513
00:26:37,329 --> 00:26:38,318
(GROANING)
514
00:26:41,533 --> 00:26:44,001
Don't you feel well, sir? Is
there anything I can do for you?
515
00:26:44,069 --> 00:26:46,503
I'm all shot to pieces.
I can't sleep anymore.
516
00:26:46,571 --> 00:26:50,007
Well, about that letter, Mr.
Brandon, to the Museum of Fine Arts...
517
00:26:50,108 --> 00:26:52,338
Albert, if you want to
keep your job with me,
518
00:26:52,410 --> 00:26:54,310
don't you ever
remind me of it.
519
00:26:54,379 --> 00:26:56,244
Never mention the Marquis
or that daughter of his.
520
00:26:56,314 --> 00:26:57,804
No, sir.
Lay off of pajama pants.
521
00:26:57,882 --> 00:26:58,906
Yes, sir. I don't want to hear any more
522
00:26:58,984 --> 00:27:00,576
about the Riviera.
No, sir.
523
00:27:00,652 --> 00:27:04,053
Don't speak to me about France,
and keep away from Czechoslovakia.
524
00:27:04,122 --> 00:27:07,387
Well, if it meets with your
approval, sir, I won't say anything.
525
00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:09,757
Albert, you're
a very sweet guy.
526
00:27:10,395 --> 00:27:12,226
I forget, how much salary do you get?
527
00:27:12,297 --> 00:27:13,889
2,000 francs a month.
528
00:27:13,965 --> 00:27:15,023
Well, that's enough.
529
00:27:15,100 --> 00:27:17,125
I shouldn't have come to the
Riviera in the first place.
530
00:27:17,202 --> 00:27:18,635
Now don't talk
about it anymore.
531
00:27:18,703 --> 00:27:20,864
I want to forget
the whole darn...
532
00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:23,665
What's that?
533
00:27:23,742 --> 00:27:24,766
The bathtub, sir.
534
00:27:24,843 --> 00:27:25,832
(SHOUTS) The what?
535
00:27:25,910 --> 00:27:27,241
The bathtub
of Louis XIV.
536
00:27:28,013 --> 00:27:32,177
To say no to a man like that, a man
who wasn't even hit by the Depression.
537
00:27:32,250 --> 00:27:34,411
I counted on it.
I know you did.
538
00:27:34,486 --> 00:27:36,511
Well, what are we
going to do now?
539
00:27:36,588 --> 00:27:37,953
I thought we'd have all the money in the world,
540
00:27:38,023 --> 00:27:40,014
so I bought
a few little things.
541
00:27:40,091 --> 00:27:43,754
I had to have several new suits.
We needed a new car, Nicole,
542
00:27:43,828 --> 00:27:45,955
and I've always wanted
to have a billiard table.
543
00:27:46,064 --> 00:27:48,498
Father, you're going to
cancel everything you bought.
544
00:27:48,566 --> 00:27:51,763
Oh, not everything. I still have my 60,000 francs.
545
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:52,894
What 60,000 francs?
546
00:27:52,971 --> 00:27:54,734
The check
for the bathtub.
547
00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,671
Give me that check.
He bought it.
548
00:27:57,742 --> 00:28:01,576
He didn't want that bathtub. That
check is his down payment on me.
549
00:28:01,646 --> 00:28:03,944
That's not true, Nicole.
He insisted upon buying it.
550
00:28:04,015 --> 00:28:05,539
He's crazy
about that bathtub.
551
00:28:07,819 --> 00:28:08,945
Come in.
552
00:28:14,292 --> 00:28:16,556
Is there any message?
Yes.
553
00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:17,720
Mr. Brandon said
that you are...
554
00:28:17,796 --> 00:28:19,821
Maurice.
Why make an enemy?
555
00:28:20,131 --> 00:28:22,326
Oh, all right. Leave it here in the anteroom.
556
00:28:26,571 --> 00:28:28,163
Give me that check.
What?
557
00:28:28,239 --> 00:28:32,107
Oh. But the family, Nicole. I
promised to pay all their hotel bills.
558
00:28:32,177 --> 00:28:34,008
What hotel bills?
I telephoned Paris
559
00:28:34,079 --> 00:28:36,343
and asked them all down for the
announcement of your engagement.
560
00:28:36,414 --> 00:28:39,212
(SIGHS) Well, you call them up this
minute and tell them not to come.
561
00:28:39,284 --> 00:28:40,444
Oh, Nicole,
you know the family.
562
00:28:40,518 --> 00:28:43,544
With their expenses paid,
they're on the train by now.
563
00:28:43,621 --> 00:28:44,849
Give me that check.
564
00:28:44,923 --> 00:28:46,356
Oh, well...
565
00:28:55,633 --> 00:28:56,827
BRANDON: Come in.
566
00:28:59,370 --> 00:29:01,861
Hello. I imagine you're surprised to see me.
567
00:29:02,006 --> 00:29:03,564
Not at all.
I expected to.
568
00:29:04,075 --> 00:29:05,201
Oh, you did.
569
00:29:05,276 --> 00:29:06,402
Sure.
570
00:29:06,711 --> 00:29:08,872
Well, you see, I've changed my mind about you.
571
00:29:08,947 --> 00:29:10,107
I knew you would.
572
00:29:10,181 --> 00:29:12,376
I thought you were
a good businessman.
573
00:29:12,450 --> 00:29:13,678
What's that?
574
00:29:13,752 --> 00:29:15,049
Here's the check,
Mr. Brandon.
575
00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:16,747
And let this be
a lesson to you.
576
00:29:16,821 --> 00:29:19,847
Never buy a saddle on a chance
that the horse will be thrown in.
577
00:29:19,924 --> 00:29:22,119
Now, look here. I don't want you
to get the wrong impression of me.
578
00:29:22,193 --> 00:29:25,390
I never renege on a deal, but in
this case, it so happens that it...
579
00:29:25,463 --> 00:29:27,727
Oh, don't worry,
we release you.
580
00:29:28,233 --> 00:29:29,461
What do you mean,
you release me?
581
00:29:29,534 --> 00:29:31,900
You haven't got a leg
to stand on, legally.
582
00:29:32,837 --> 00:29:37,035
(SIGHS) Now, look here, Mr. Brandon. I
came here in the most friendly spirit.
583
00:29:37,108 --> 00:29:38,302
Yes, you did.
584
00:29:38,376 --> 00:29:40,606
But that was a closed deal.
585
00:29:40,678 --> 00:29:41,940
You bought a bathtub.
586
00:29:42,013 --> 00:29:43,708
And I got a washbasin.
587
00:29:43,782 --> 00:29:45,773
Why don't you
call an expert?
588
00:29:45,850 --> 00:29:47,579
All right,
let's get the plumber.
589
00:29:47,652 --> 00:29:49,779
Mr. Brandon, I know nothing whatsoever
590
00:29:49,854 --> 00:29:52,789
about your education,
but King Louis XIV...
591
00:29:52,857 --> 00:29:57,123
(LAUGHS) By the way, have you
any idea when Louis XIV reigned?
592
00:29:57,295 --> 00:30:00,992
Well, from...
From... To...
593
00:30:01,633 --> 00:30:03,601
Well, I tell you,
it's a washbasin.
594
00:30:03,668 --> 00:30:06,432
I warn you, Mr. Brandon, if you
question our business ethics,
595
00:30:06,504 --> 00:30:08,631
we'll force you to go
through with the deal.
596
00:30:08,706 --> 00:30:12,233
You're practically claiming that we've
sold you something under false pretenses.
597
00:30:12,310 --> 00:30:14,210
You bought a wash...
I mean a bathtub.
598
00:30:14,279 --> 00:30:15,769
No, you don't.
You mean a washbasin.
599
00:30:15,847 --> 00:30:17,109
Give me that check.
600
00:31:13,938 --> 00:31:15,906
Say, what kind of
a hotel is this, anyway?
601
00:31:15,974 --> 00:31:19,171
The shower doesn't work, the
bathtub's out of kilter and...
602
00:31:19,244 --> 00:31:21,337
Well, connect me
with the head mechanic.
603
00:31:25,750 --> 00:31:27,149
Never mind.
604
00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:50,530
Take a letter.
605
00:31:51,542 --> 00:31:52,839
Yes, sir.
606
00:31:56,080 --> 00:32:00,915
"Dear Mademoiselle Nicole. You
were right, and I was wrong.
607
00:32:00,985 --> 00:32:05,012
"It can be done.
So please let me apologize
608
00:32:05,089 --> 00:32:06,522
"from the bottom
of your bathtub."
609
00:32:06,591 --> 00:32:08,991
"From the bottom
of your bathtub."
610
00:32:09,127 --> 00:32:11,561
"Whether the darn
thing is too short,
611
00:32:11,629 --> 00:32:14,029
"or I am too long,
is a question
612
00:32:14,165 --> 00:32:16,565
"I would like to
discuss with you at dinner.
613
00:32:17,735 --> 00:32:21,262
"I'm sure that this more formal
approach will meet with your approval,
614
00:32:21,339 --> 00:32:23,102
"so shall we
say 8:30 tonight?"
615
00:32:23,241 --> 00:32:24,868
"...shall we say..."
616
00:32:24,943 --> 00:32:26,274
(CRASHING)
617
00:32:31,983 --> 00:32:35,714
"I remain sincerely yours, Michael
Brandon." I'll sign it later.
618
00:32:35,787 --> 00:32:37,186
It was a washbasin.
619
00:32:38,022 --> 00:32:39,512
(WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING)
620
00:33:08,353 --> 00:33:11,584
1643 to 1715.
What?
621
00:33:11,656 --> 00:33:13,021
Louis XIV.
622
00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:14,518
You looked it up.
623
00:33:14,592 --> 00:33:18,392
Born September the 5th, 1638. Came
to the throne at the age of five.
624
00:33:18,463 --> 00:33:20,727
Won the Battle
of Steenkirke in 1692.
625
00:33:20,798 --> 00:33:22,561
Got mixed up with
madame du Barry.
626
00:33:22,633 --> 00:33:27,195
Died at 4:00 in the afternoon on
Friday, May the 10th, of smallpox.
627
00:33:27,905 --> 00:33:30,999
That's sweet of you.
Michael.
628
00:33:32,010 --> 00:33:33,409
Yes, Nicole?
629
00:33:33,911 --> 00:33:37,074
Ninety-five to ninety-seven
and a half. What?
630
00:33:37,148 --> 00:33:41,346
Oil. It went up two and a
half points. I'm so glad.
631
00:33:41,419 --> 00:33:42,977
Oh, I've never been
happier in my life.
632
00:33:43,054 --> 00:33:45,852
And not on account of those two and a half points.
633
00:33:45,923 --> 00:33:49,586
Oh, wait a minute. Louis
XIV didn't die of smallpox.
634
00:33:49,660 --> 00:33:51,423
That was Louis XV.
635
00:33:51,496 --> 00:33:54,761
Oh. Well, I must have skipped a page. Forgive me?
636
00:33:55,933 --> 00:33:58,367
Oh, you know, when
I saw you first...
637
00:33:59,504 --> 00:34:00,971
Do you mind if I
skip a few pages?
638
00:34:01,039 --> 00:34:02,768
No.
639
00:34:02,907 --> 00:34:04,636
I'm crazy about you.
640
00:34:12,650 --> 00:34:14,880
(WEDDING MARCH PLAYING)
641
00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:19,546
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
642
00:34:22,994 --> 00:34:26,896
Mesdames et messieurs. We
are ready for the photograph.
643
00:34:32,670 --> 00:34:34,194
When is this
wedding going to be?
644
00:34:34,272 --> 00:34:36,137
In two weeks.
You'll get your money.
645
00:34:36,207 --> 00:34:39,734
I'm surprised to say
I rather like you, Michael.
646
00:34:39,844 --> 00:34:41,072
Thank you, Grandmother.
647
00:34:41,145 --> 00:34:44,342
Michael. Don't call her Grandmother.
648
00:34:44,415 --> 00:34:46,679
That's Aunt Hedwige,
the head of the family.
649
00:34:46,784 --> 00:34:49,446
If she had said
"no" to our engagement,
650
00:34:49,520 --> 00:34:50,817
I still would marry you.
651
00:34:50,888 --> 00:34:51,980
(CHUCKLES) Darling.
652
00:34:52,590 --> 00:34:54,785
And when you talk
to my uncle from Vienna...
653
00:34:54,859 --> 00:34:56,793
Oh, I know. I should say "Your Highness."
654
00:34:56,861 --> 00:34:59,853
No, that's not necessary.
Just call him Uncle Auguste.
655
00:34:59,931 --> 00:35:02,832
But never say to an Archduke, "Hey, Archie."
656
00:35:02,900 --> 00:35:04,424
You just give me time.
I'll learn.
657
00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:06,258
(SIGHS)
658
00:35:08,306 --> 00:35:10,331
(LAUGHS) I haven't worn
this suit for quite a while.
659
00:35:10,408 --> 00:35:11,841
What's that?
660
00:35:11,909 --> 00:35:13,035
Rice.
661
00:35:13,411 --> 00:35:14,537
Rice?
662
00:35:15,213 --> 00:35:16,805
Sure. Don't you
use it over here?
663
00:35:16,881 --> 00:35:18,974
Why, of course we do,
for puddings.
664
00:35:19,050 --> 00:35:22,213
Oh, we use it for weddings. You throw
it at the bride and groom for luck.
665
00:35:22,286 --> 00:35:24,686
(EXCLAIMS) Did it
bring them luck?
666
00:35:25,556 --> 00:35:27,615
Well, we had
a pleasant six months.
667
00:35:28,693 --> 00:35:29,682
What?
668
00:35:30,862 --> 00:35:35,060
You... PHOTOGRAPHER: Smile,
everybody. Smile, please.
669
00:35:35,933 --> 00:35:39,926
That's fine. One... Two...
670
00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:43,371
Just a moment. We'll be right back. Come, Michael.
671
00:35:43,441 --> 00:35:46,001
Michael just wants
to tell me something.
672
00:35:46,077 --> 00:35:48,011
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
673
00:35:53,584 --> 00:35:56,519
Michael,
you've been married?
674
00:35:56,587 --> 00:35:59,988
Yes, but that's all right. My
decree's final. Do you mind?
675
00:36:00,691 --> 00:36:02,488
No, I suppose not.
676
00:36:02,560 --> 00:36:04,289
I thought you knew.
677
00:36:04,362 --> 00:36:05,852
You didn't tell me.
678
00:36:05,930 --> 00:36:08,865
Don't you read the American
newspapers? It was front-page stuff.
679
00:36:08,933 --> 00:36:11,800
I thought your father was
very well-informed about me.
680
00:36:12,770 --> 00:36:15,295
He only knows about
your bank account.
681
00:36:15,373 --> 00:36:19,309
And all I know about you is I
liked you in a department store,
682
00:36:19,377 --> 00:36:23,973
I hated you on a float, and I fell
in love with you over a bathtub.
683
00:36:24,448 --> 00:36:25,847
Darling.
684
00:36:27,718 --> 00:36:28,707
(SIGHS)
685
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:31,244
Oh, darling.
686
00:36:35,259 --> 00:36:36,248
(SIGHS)
687
00:36:37,595 --> 00:36:39,392
What was her name?
688
00:36:39,463 --> 00:36:41,488
Marjorie.
I called her Mug.
689
00:36:42,033 --> 00:36:43,728
Why did you divorce?
690
00:36:43,801 --> 00:36:44,995
Oh, well...
691
00:36:45,069 --> 00:36:46,934
Did she do something wrong? No, no.
692
00:36:47,004 --> 00:36:49,199
She was a little jealous,
but there was no reason.
693
00:36:49,273 --> 00:36:51,207
I told her I was
crazy about Linda.
694
00:36:51,275 --> 00:36:53,209
Linda?
Yes, Linda.
695
00:36:54,178 --> 00:36:56,738
Then why didn't
you marry Linda?
696
00:36:56,814 --> 00:36:58,008
I did.
697
00:36:58,916 --> 00:36:59,905
(EXCLAIMS)
698
00:37:00,718 --> 00:37:03,812
Now, let me
get this straight.
699
00:37:03,888 --> 00:37:07,346
You divorced Marjorie because
she was jealous of Linda,
700
00:37:07,425 --> 00:37:10,155
and you divorced Linda
on account of Marjorie?
701
00:37:10,228 --> 00:37:11,718
No, no, you've got
it all wrong. You see,
702
00:37:11,796 --> 00:37:13,730
I knew Marjorie
long before I met Linda.
703
00:37:13,798 --> 00:37:15,629
Yes. And I was going to marry Marjorie
704
00:37:15,700 --> 00:37:16,962
when Elsie popped up.
705
00:37:17,034 --> 00:37:20,435
(EXCLAIMS) And Elsie... Am I boring you?
706
00:37:20,504 --> 00:37:25,168
Oh, no, no. No. It's all very interesting.
707
00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:27,541
I like to get
your point of view.
708
00:37:27,612 --> 00:37:30,445
You see, to me this is
a very important step.
709
00:37:30,514 --> 00:37:32,243
I happen to
believe in marriage.
710
00:37:32,316 --> 00:37:33,578
So do I.
711
00:37:34,785 --> 00:37:36,184
Where were we?
712
00:37:36,287 --> 00:37:38,221
Elsie just popped up.
713
00:37:39,423 --> 00:37:43,154
Say, this may take some time. We'd
better go and have the picture taken.
714
00:37:43,227 --> 00:37:48,062
Michael, in one word, how many
times have you been married?
715
00:37:48,132 --> 00:37:51,260
Well, you've heard
about Henry VIII?
716
00:37:51,335 --> 00:37:52,893
You mean, six times?
717
00:37:52,970 --> 00:37:54,232
No, seven.
718
00:37:56,340 --> 00:38:02,301
You do believe in marriage. Seven
marriages and seven divorces.
719
00:38:02,380 --> 00:38:04,245
No, only six.
One died.
720
00:38:04,482 --> 00:38:05,574
I beg your pardon?
721
00:38:05,650 --> 00:38:07,015
A natural death.
722
00:38:07,084 --> 00:38:08,073
(EXCLAIMS)
723
00:38:08,719 --> 00:38:11,415
Well, shall we get
the picture over with?
724
00:38:11,489 --> 00:38:12,979
Get it over with?
725
00:38:13,057 --> 00:38:14,820
You mean just
like a marriage?
726
00:38:14,892 --> 00:38:17,520
Say, you're taking this whole thing too seriously.
727
00:38:17,595 --> 00:38:21,531
Oh, no, no. I'm just being practical.
728
00:38:22,033 --> 00:38:25,161
You see, today if I'm walking
on the street and someone calls
729
00:38:25,236 --> 00:38:28,763
"Mademoiselle de Loiselle,"
at least I know that's I.
730
00:38:28,839 --> 00:38:33,333
But if someone calls "Mrs. Brandon,"
it might cause a traffic jam.
731
00:38:33,411 --> 00:38:35,936
And 10 years from now,
if you continue like this,
732
00:38:36,013 --> 00:38:37,913
I might be
trampled to death.
733
00:38:37,982 --> 00:38:40,815
I'm just too much
of a coward. No, Michael.
734
00:38:49,827 --> 00:38:51,590
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
735
00:38:55,266 --> 00:38:56,358
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
736
00:39:01,072 --> 00:39:03,973
What's the matter?
It's a fainting spell.
737
00:39:09,313 --> 00:39:14,148
Everyone out.
Out. Everyone out at once.
738
00:39:14,485 --> 00:39:18,319
Where is this Mr. Brandon?
Where is this Mr. Brandon?
739
00:39:21,325 --> 00:39:23,555
Young man, we've been
humiliated quite enough.
740
00:39:23,627 --> 00:39:25,151
Now, just a minute...
Don't interrupt me.
741
00:39:25,229 --> 00:39:26,628
I'm speaking as the head of the family
742
00:39:26,697 --> 00:39:29,222
de la Loiselle de la
Vertinier de la Courtoisie,
743
00:39:29,300 --> 00:39:31,734
including the branch
of the Faussignac de Gascony,
744
00:39:31,802 --> 00:39:34,327
and I suggest that you take your hat and leave.
745
00:39:34,405 --> 00:39:36,202
Get out of here.
746
00:39:36,474 --> 00:39:38,169
Oh, getting tough, huh?
747
00:39:38,242 --> 00:39:40,836
I'm not afraid of you.
Do you know what you are?
748
00:39:40,945 --> 00:39:41,969
Now, look here,
Grandmother...
749
00:39:42,046 --> 00:39:44,412
Don't call her Grandmother, I told you.
750
00:39:44,482 --> 00:39:47,144
And don't you call him...
Well, anyhow, be careful.
751
00:39:47,218 --> 00:39:49,015
And stop screaming
at each other.
752
00:39:49,086 --> 00:39:51,384
If you want to quarrel,
go somewhere else.
753
00:39:53,524 --> 00:39:54,752
(WHISPERS) Michael.
754
00:39:56,861 --> 00:39:58,351
(WHISPERS)
Yes, Aunt Hedwige?
755
00:39:58,429 --> 00:40:01,398
You're the lowest
human being I ever met.
756
00:40:01,465 --> 00:40:02,796
Is that so?
757
00:40:02,867 --> 00:40:07,031
I never realized the depths
to which depravity could sink.
758
00:40:07,104 --> 00:40:08,696
So I'm depraved, am I?
759
00:40:08,773 --> 00:40:11,037
Well, what's a man gonna do when
he falls in love with a girl?
760
00:40:11,108 --> 00:40:13,406
Why, marry her
and stay married.
761
00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:15,274
And if he finds
he's made a mistake?
762
00:40:15,346 --> 00:40:18,474
Carry on behind her back,
lie, make excuses? Not me.
763
00:40:18,549 --> 00:40:20,517
I think that's immoral.
764
00:40:20,584 --> 00:40:21,812
Besides, I'm too busy.
765
00:40:21,886 --> 00:40:23,751
And how about
your poor wives?
766
00:40:23,821 --> 00:40:25,652
They're much better
than before I married them.
767
00:40:25,723 --> 00:40:27,122
Financially, I suppose.
768
00:40:27,191 --> 00:40:28,215
You mean financially?
769
00:40:28,292 --> 00:40:30,385
BRANDON: Exactly.
Keep quiet, Father.
770
00:40:30,461 --> 00:40:32,929
You see, I make a clean-cut
pre-marriage settlement.
771
00:40:32,997 --> 00:40:36,831
Pre-marriage settlement. Oh,
that's so romantic of you, Michael.
772
00:40:36,934 --> 00:40:40,267
Well, I try to be fair. And
in case of divorce, she gets...
773
00:40:40,337 --> 00:40:42,134
We're not interested
in your money.
774
00:40:42,206 --> 00:40:45,369
Well, $50,000 a year for
life isn't to be laughed at.
775
00:40:45,443 --> 00:40:47,240
We're discussing a matter
of the human heart.
776
00:40:47,311 --> 00:40:48,869
What's $50,000?
777
00:40:48,946 --> 00:40:51,210
Yes, what's $50,000?
778
00:40:51,816 --> 00:40:53,750
Why, that's a million francs.
779
00:40:54,785 --> 00:40:55,843
From government bonds.
780
00:40:55,920 --> 00:40:56,944
You mean tax free?
781
00:40:57,021 --> 00:40:58,852
Father, I want you
to keep out of this.
782
00:40:58,923 --> 00:41:01,187
Achille de Loiselle,
if you let financial
783
00:41:01,258 --> 00:41:03,453
considerations influence
you for a moment...
784
00:41:03,527 --> 00:41:06,325
Why shouldn't we consider this
proposition from all angles?
785
00:41:06,397 --> 00:41:08,262
Are you a father
or an auctioneer?
786
00:41:08,499 --> 00:41:10,967
MARQUIS DE LOISELLE: I defy anyone
to question my motives in this matter.
787
00:41:11,035 --> 00:41:13,526
Then you defy me.
I forbid this marriage,
788
00:41:13,604 --> 00:41:15,401
absolutely
and unconditionally.
789
00:41:15,473 --> 00:41:16,667
I've had enough
of your tyranny.
790
00:41:16,740 --> 00:41:18,867
Aunt Hedwige, if you
oppose this marriage...
791
00:41:18,943 --> 00:41:21,411
Will you be quiet,
both of you?
792
00:41:21,479 --> 00:41:24,107
After all, it's my life
that's being decided.
793
00:41:24,381 --> 00:41:29,318
And will you stop walking?
I'll make my own decision.
794
00:41:29,386 --> 00:41:31,013
Now, look here,
Michael Brandon.
795
00:41:31,088 --> 00:41:33,181
You think that all you have to do is wave a check
796
00:41:33,257 --> 00:41:34,724
and no woman
can resist you,
797
00:41:34,792 --> 00:41:36,282
but let me tell
you something.
798
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:39,329
There are still women in this
world who have other standards.
799
00:41:39,396 --> 00:41:41,762
I refuse your $50,000.
800
00:41:41,832 --> 00:41:42,890
AUNT HEDWIGE: Bravo!
801
00:41:42,967 --> 00:41:44,195
I want $100,000.
802
00:41:44,268 --> 00:41:45,428
Bravo!
803
00:41:45,503 --> 00:41:47,164
Nicole!
804
00:41:47,238 --> 00:41:49,138
What's that?
$100,000?
805
00:41:49,206 --> 00:41:53,438
$100,000 guaranteed in the marriage
contract and I'm Mrs. Michael Brandon.
806
00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:54,978
You can leave me
whenever you wish.
807
00:41:55,045 --> 00:41:56,444
Oh, that'll never be,
I hope.
808
00:41:56,514 --> 00:41:58,539
(LAUGHS) Oh, that's very gallant, Michael,
809
00:41:58,616 --> 00:42:00,982
but it's $100,000
just the same.
810
00:42:01,452 --> 00:42:03,647
Well, that's quite a jump.
811
00:42:03,988 --> 00:42:05,979
Make up your mind,
Michael. Think fast.
812
00:42:06,056 --> 00:42:08,217
If you wait much longer
it will be $150,000.
813
00:42:08,292 --> 00:42:09,816
My price goes
up every minute.
814
00:42:09,894 --> 00:42:10,883
(EXCLAIMS)
815
00:42:12,296 --> 00:42:15,993
Well, Nicole, you got me on the
spot. I'm so crazy about you...
816
00:42:16,066 --> 00:42:18,626
Don't rush, my dear boy.
Take your time. It's a deal.
817
00:42:18,702 --> 00:42:21,193
It's a bargain.
It's a scandal.
818
00:42:21,505 --> 00:42:23,200
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
819
00:42:24,808 --> 00:42:28,505
Oh, Father. Goodbye.
I want you to write, dear.
820
00:42:28,579 --> 00:42:30,774
Yes, I will. Goodbye.
821
00:42:31,782 --> 00:42:34,842
Goodbye, Michael.
Goodbye.
822
00:42:34,919 --> 00:42:37,319
Send a telegram. Send several
of them every now and then.
823
00:42:37,388 --> 00:42:38,878
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
824
00:42:39,023 --> 00:42:40,581
(ALL CLAMORING)
825
00:42:50,501 --> 00:42:52,401
(TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING)
826
00:43:02,980 --> 00:43:04,208
Nicole.
827
00:43:05,449 --> 00:43:06,507
Thank you, Albert.
828
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:08,108
Goodbye, Nicole, and if anything should happen...
829
00:43:08,185 --> 00:43:09,743
It won't.
Well, if you get unhappy,
830
00:43:09,820 --> 00:43:12,118
just send me a telegram,
'cause you can rely on me.
831
00:43:12,189 --> 00:43:14,157
Nicole, I know that man.
He can be very nasty.
832
00:43:14,224 --> 00:43:16,954
Anyway, don't worry about it.
And I wish you lots of luck.
833
00:43:17,027 --> 00:43:19,325
Don't wish me luck,
wish him luck.
834
00:43:19,396 --> 00:43:23,196
He doesn't know it yet, but this
time he's bought a washbasin.
835
00:43:24,034 --> 00:43:26,901
Goodbye. Goodbye.
836
00:44:10,781 --> 00:44:13,773
(MUSIC PLAYING)
837
00:44:31,902 --> 00:44:33,767
Hello, Mr. Brandon.
Hello.
838
00:44:33,837 --> 00:44:34,861
Glad to see you
back in Paris.
839
00:44:34,938 --> 00:44:36,337
I hear you've been
in Czechoslovakia.
840
00:44:36,407 --> 00:44:38,170
Yeah. What's wrong
about that?
841
00:44:38,242 --> 00:44:39,766
Why, nothing,
Mr. Brandon.
842
00:44:40,878 --> 00:44:42,402
By the way, may I offer my congratulations?
843
00:44:42,479 --> 00:44:43,503
On what?
844
00:44:43,580 --> 00:44:44,604
Well, you got married.
845
00:44:44,682 --> 00:44:46,445
Oh, yes.
Thank you.
846
00:44:46,517 --> 00:44:48,382
You're very happy,
I suppose?
847
00:44:48,452 --> 00:44:50,283
Sure, I am.
Don't I look happy?
848
00:44:50,354 --> 00:44:52,083
Why, yes, very happy.
849
00:44:52,489 --> 00:44:53,956
Anybody said anything?
850
00:44:54,024 --> 00:44:55,651
Oh, no, no, no.
851
00:44:55,726 --> 00:44:57,785
Now, look here, no more cracks out of you.
852
00:45:13,477 --> 00:45:14,535
Here, madame.
Thank you.
853
00:45:14,611 --> 00:45:16,545
Will you charge it to me,
please? Very well, madame Brandon.
854
00:45:20,984 --> 00:45:22,508
Hello, Michael.
855
00:45:23,587 --> 00:45:26,283
Hello. Are you by any chance buying books?
856
00:45:26,356 --> 00:45:27,345
(GRUNTS)
857
00:45:27,825 --> 00:45:31,158
I thought you never read
anything but the financial page.
858
00:45:31,228 --> 00:45:34,129
Doctor's orders. He thinks it'll quiet my nerves.
859
00:45:34,531 --> 00:45:35,520
(EXCLAIMS)
860
00:45:36,100 --> 00:45:37,328
Yes, monsieur?
861
00:45:37,401 --> 00:45:40,097
I want some books. I'd say about a half a dozen.
862
00:45:40,170 --> 00:45:41,694
What sort, monsieur?
Fiction?
863
00:45:41,772 --> 00:45:43,763
We have some very exciting new detective stories.
864
00:45:43,841 --> 00:45:46,105
No, no, nothing like that. I
want something to quiet me down,
865
00:45:46,176 --> 00:45:47,473
something to put
me to sleep.
866
00:45:47,544 --> 00:45:49,375
Something to
put you to sleep?
867
00:45:49,513 --> 00:45:51,378
Oh, what you want
are the classics.
868
00:45:51,448 --> 00:45:53,348
Yes, and put in
one volume of poetry,
869
00:45:53,417 --> 00:45:55,044
in case you need
a quick nap.
870
00:45:55,119 --> 00:45:57,314
There's nothing like blank
verse right after lunch.
871
00:45:57,387 --> 00:45:59,355
Very well, I'll make up a selection.
872
00:46:01,425 --> 00:46:02,653
If you'd be
a little nicer to me,
873
00:46:02,726 --> 00:46:05,661
I wouldn't have to buy all
those books. How about it?
874
00:46:05,729 --> 00:46:07,458
Michael, I have
no gift of prophesy,
875
00:46:07,531 --> 00:46:09,726
but I see you ending up with a library.
876
00:46:09,800 --> 00:46:11,631
Now, why don't you try
to be reasonable, Nicole?
877
00:46:11,702 --> 00:46:15,331
Let's not quarrel again.
We fought all over Europe.
878
00:46:15,405 --> 00:46:18,431
You've presented your arguments
in every historical spot.
879
00:46:19,143 --> 00:46:21,338
The pigeons in Venice
are still frightened.
880
00:46:22,112 --> 00:46:23,636
Will you glance
over them, monsieur?
881
00:46:23,714 --> 00:46:25,409
No, that's all right.
You don't need to wrap them.
882
00:46:25,482 --> 00:46:26,540
Charge them to me.
883
00:46:26,617 --> 00:46:28,551
Very well,
madame Brandon.
884
00:46:40,764 --> 00:46:41,753
(DOOR CLOSING)
885
00:46:44,134 --> 00:46:47,297
(MUMBLING) If you'd be
a little nicer to me...
886
00:46:47,371 --> 00:46:48,963
...books...
887
00:46:51,742 --> 00:46:53,801
Well... It was a pleasure
to run into you, Michael.
888
00:46:53,877 --> 00:46:56,345
Oh, by the way, you've done
over your boudoir, haven't you?
889
00:46:56,413 --> 00:46:58,210
Yes. It's all in turquoise, blue and silver.
890
00:46:58,282 --> 00:46:59,476
Oh, it's really
quite stunning.
891
00:46:59,550 --> 00:47:01,245
But what about that
green carpet, though?
892
00:47:01,318 --> 00:47:05,084
Why, green and blue are
charming... How did you know?
893
00:47:05,155 --> 00:47:07,715
Well, your maid told my
valet. They're very friendly.
894
00:47:07,791 --> 00:47:10,487
That sometimes happens, even when
people live in the same apartment.
895
00:47:10,561 --> 00:47:14,554
(CHUCKLES) Yes. I think we're very lucky
with most of our servants, don't you?
896
00:47:14,631 --> 00:47:16,155
Oh, you bet.
The new cook's fine.
897
00:47:16,233 --> 00:47:18,724
Really? I'm hardly
in a position to tell.
898
00:47:18,802 --> 00:47:20,633
I've eaten here
so little.
899
00:47:20,704 --> 00:47:23,264
Oh, yes, I see by the papers you've
been stepping out a lot lately.
900
00:47:23,340 --> 00:47:25,900
(CHUCKLING) Yes, quite a bit. Having a good time?
901
00:47:25,976 --> 00:47:29,343
Oh, it's wonderful not to be
under parental control anymore.
902
00:47:29,413 --> 00:47:31,643
That's what I love
about marriage.
903
00:47:31,715 --> 00:47:33,273
How's your father?
Fine.
904
00:47:33,350 --> 00:47:35,011
Rest of the family?
Fine, thank you.
905
00:47:35,085 --> 00:47:38,384
How's your business?
Okay. Anything else new?
906
00:47:38,755 --> 00:47:40,950
No, nothing I know about.
907
00:47:41,024 --> 00:47:42,787
Well, goodbye.
908
00:47:42,860 --> 00:47:44,293
Hope I run into
you again sometime.
909
00:47:44,361 --> 00:47:45,760
Goodbye, Michael.
910
00:47:47,331 --> 00:47:48,798
Oh, Michael.
911
00:47:48,866 --> 00:47:51,232
If you have any complaints about
the household or the servants,
912
00:47:51,301 --> 00:47:52,598
just drop me a note.
913
00:47:52,669 --> 00:47:55,661
And in case anything of importance
comes up and you have to see me,
914
00:47:55,739 --> 00:47:58,572
it's perfectly all right.
Just give me a warning.
915
00:48:11,154 --> 00:48:13,884
Hey, you. Come here.
916
00:48:19,630 --> 00:48:21,495
Are you Mrs. Brandon's new chauffeur? No.
917
00:48:21,565 --> 00:48:24,227
Oh, you don't have to hide it from
me. I'm quitting the job anyhow.
918
00:48:24,301 --> 00:48:26,269
But let me tell you something. Don't take it.
919
00:48:26,336 --> 00:48:28,770
You never get home
before 3:00 in the morning.
920
00:49:50,988 --> 00:49:52,421
(SHATTERING)
921
00:51:01,892 --> 00:51:03,223
Shakespeare.
922
00:51:03,293 --> 00:51:06,751
(NICOLE EXCLAIMING) Oh, Michael!
Michael, don't do that! Stop it!
923
00:51:32,055 --> 00:51:33,113
Where is it?
924
00:51:36,093 --> 00:51:37,151
Here.
925
00:51:37,260 --> 00:51:38,488
(CLICKING TONGUE)
926
00:51:40,063 --> 00:51:41,121
Hurt?
927
00:51:41,198 --> 00:51:43,758
No. This is awfully
nice of you, Nicole.
928
00:51:43,834 --> 00:51:46,860
Oh, no. I always put iodine
on people when I bite them.
929
00:51:46,937 --> 00:51:50,429
Oh, your bark's worse than
your bite. No, it isn't.
930
00:52:00,250 --> 00:52:01,308
Good evening,
Mr. Brandon.
931
00:52:01,384 --> 00:52:04,251
Well, Mrs. Brandon,
this is certainly an honor.
932
00:52:04,321 --> 00:52:07,552
(EXCLAIMS) I'm delighted
you accepted my invitation.
933
00:52:07,624 --> 00:52:09,717
Thank you. What are the plans for tonight?
934
00:52:09,793 --> 00:52:11,784
Well, first I thought we'd
have a little dinner here,
935
00:52:11,862 --> 00:52:12,886
and then the choice
is yours.
936
00:52:12,963 --> 00:52:14,954
I have tickets
for the Russian ballet,
937
00:52:15,031 --> 00:52:16,589
and tickets
for the prize fights.
938
00:52:16,666 --> 00:52:18,133
It's absolutely up to you.
939
00:52:19,269 --> 00:52:20,258
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
940
00:52:20,770 --> 00:52:23,432
Here's to our agreement,
no lovemaking, no quarrels.
941
00:52:23,507 --> 00:52:24,804
Just like an ordinary married couple.
942
00:52:24,875 --> 00:52:26,570
I said no quarrels.
943
00:52:28,545 --> 00:52:31,446
(EXCLAIMS) It's rather strong, Mr. Brandon.
944
00:52:31,515 --> 00:52:33,176
Do you think so?
Mmm-hmm.
945
00:52:33,950 --> 00:52:36,578
Well, if you keep your part of the
agreement, I'll be very generous.
946
00:52:36,653 --> 00:52:37,950
We'll go
to the prize fights.
947
00:52:38,021 --> 00:52:41,354
But the slightest slip and you'll
find yourself at the Russian ballet.
948
00:52:46,630 --> 00:52:50,225
Oh, I must explain. This
is sort of a buffet supper.
949
00:52:50,300 --> 00:52:51,927
Buffet supper?
950
00:52:52,235 --> 00:52:55,033
You see, the servants
are going to a ball tonight.
951
00:52:55,105 --> 00:52:56,094
(EXCLAIMS)
952
00:52:56,439 --> 00:52:58,566
I think one should consider them now and then.
953
00:52:59,676 --> 00:53:04,045
After all, these are pretty unsettled
times. You can't ride them too hard.
954
00:53:04,114 --> 00:53:05,172
That's what
starts revolutions.
955
00:53:05,248 --> 00:53:07,944
Yes. Michael,
let me warn you.
956
00:53:08,018 --> 00:53:12,352
The Russians are dancing three
ballets tonight. Cupid and Psyche,
957
00:53:12,422 --> 00:53:17,086
A Toy Shop in Old Moscow
and The Glow Worm's Birthday.
958
00:53:17,861 --> 00:53:18,919
I'll behave.
959
00:53:21,898 --> 00:53:22,887
(SIGHS)
960
00:53:22,966 --> 00:53:23,955
(SNIFFING)
961
00:53:25,602 --> 00:53:27,331
What's the matter?
962
00:53:27,404 --> 00:53:29,269
Do you smell something?
963
00:53:29,339 --> 00:53:30,670
No.
964
00:53:30,974 --> 00:53:32,908
There must be
onions around here.
965
00:53:33,743 --> 00:53:34,971
Oh, yes, right there.
966
00:53:36,179 --> 00:53:39,012
Onions! That darn fool knows I can't
be in the same room with onions!
967
00:53:39,082 --> 00:53:42,483
Oh, Michael, Michael, be
calm. I can meet this crisis.
968
00:53:46,656 --> 00:53:48,749
Very nice of you.
It's all right.
969
00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:06,535
Oh, no, no champagne. The
cocktail was quite strong enough.
970
00:54:07,510 --> 00:54:09,978
Now, let's keep the conversation very impersonal
971
00:54:10,046 --> 00:54:12,446
so there won't be the
slightest temptation to quarrel.
972
00:54:12,515 --> 00:54:14,107
All right,
any subject you want.
973
00:54:14,184 --> 00:54:16,152
Oh, the choice is entirely yours, Michael.
974
00:54:16,219 --> 00:54:19,552
Art, music, history,
the League of Nations.
975
00:54:19,623 --> 00:54:21,056
Anything that doesn't interest you.
976
00:54:21,124 --> 00:54:22,421
Fine, I'll make it
as dull as I can.
977
00:54:22,492 --> 00:54:23,516
Thank you.
978
00:54:23,593 --> 00:54:25,117
And here's to you.
979
00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:38,539
1643 to 1715.
980
00:54:39,376 --> 00:54:41,844
1643 to 1715?
981
00:54:41,911 --> 00:54:43,606
Louis XIV.
982
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:46,205
Won the Battle
of Steenkirke in 1692.
983
00:54:47,017 --> 00:54:48,882
Got mixed up
with madame du Barry.
984
00:54:48,952 --> 00:54:50,078
Michael.
985
00:54:50,153 --> 00:54:51,415
Well, that's history,
isn't it?
986
00:54:51,488 --> 00:54:53,251
It's a sad chapter.
987
00:54:55,792 --> 00:54:57,851
Oh, this caviar
is salty.
988
00:55:03,733 --> 00:55:05,030
(CLEARS THROAT)
989
00:55:05,869 --> 00:55:09,168
Oh, speaking of music, do you
remember the waltz they were playing
990
00:55:09,239 --> 00:55:11,503
when King Louis
died of smallpox?
991
00:55:11,574 --> 00:55:13,201
I don't remember
any waltz.
992
00:55:13,276 --> 00:55:17,406
And after the king died, oil
went up two and a half points.
993
00:55:18,381 --> 00:55:20,212
I don't remember
any waltz.
994
00:55:20,750 --> 00:55:22,342
I'll play it for you.
995
00:55:27,190 --> 00:55:28,987
(WALTZ MUSIC PLAYING)
996
00:55:30,026 --> 00:55:32,654
I don't suppose you'd be interested
in a purely impersonal dance?
997
00:55:32,762 --> 00:55:35,390
Michael, the prize fight
starts at 8:30.
998
00:55:35,465 --> 00:55:37,456
Oh, what if we do
miss the preliminary?
999
00:55:37,534 --> 00:55:39,468
(GIGGLES) All right.
1000
00:55:39,536 --> 00:55:43,199
But let me warn you, don't
make this a preliminary.
1001
00:55:55,719 --> 00:55:57,482
Michael, I warn you.
1002
00:56:05,495 --> 00:56:06,484
(SIGHS)
1003
00:56:07,464 --> 00:56:09,125
(GIGGLING)
1004
00:56:09,566 --> 00:56:12,592
Oh, that caviar
was so salty.
1005
00:56:12,669 --> 00:56:15,331
(SINGING) Looky, looky, looky Here comes Cookie
1006
00:56:15,405 --> 00:56:17,635
Walking down the street
1007
00:56:17,941 --> 00:56:20,569
Looky, looky, looky
I call her Cookie
1008
00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,133
'Cause she's sweet
1009
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:27,673
Oh, Michael, you're making
me cry. Oh, that's not fair.
1010
00:56:28,585 --> 00:56:31,110
Looky, looky, looky
I call her Cookie
1011
00:56:31,187 --> 00:56:32,848
'Cause she takes the cake
1012
00:56:32,922 --> 00:56:35,948
In a department store,
that's where I met you.
1013
00:56:36,025 --> 00:56:38,357
Yes, you called me
the stripey type.
1014
00:56:38,428 --> 00:56:40,692
Oh, and I meant
every stripe of it.
1015
00:56:40,764 --> 00:56:42,061
Oh, I could've
taken you in my arms
1016
00:56:42,132 --> 00:56:44,430
and kissed you
right then and there.
1017
00:56:44,501 --> 00:56:47,231
Looky, looky, looky
Here comes Cookie
1018
00:56:47,303 --> 00:56:48,930
Gotta fix my tie
1019
00:56:49,205 --> 00:56:53,301
Why, Michael, you look so
different. I don't understand it.
1020
00:56:53,376 --> 00:56:56,106
You don't look like
a multi-millionaire anymore.
1021
00:56:56,179 --> 00:56:59,808
You look like a man with $100,000 or even less.
1022
00:57:00,683 --> 00:57:06,918
(GIGGLING) Oh, no, Michael. No, no,
Michael. No. You promised me, Michael.
1023
00:57:07,791 --> 00:57:12,854
No. Now, you promised. No, no, no,
Michael. No. Let me go. Michael.
1024
00:57:12,929 --> 00:57:14,829
You don't want me to,
you're just pretending.
1025
00:57:14,898 --> 00:57:16,160
No, Michael.
Between you and me
1026
00:57:16,232 --> 00:57:18,792
there's a whole world
of seven wives.
1027
00:57:18,868 --> 00:57:21,428
Stop being jealous. I tell
you I've forgotten they exist.
1028
00:57:21,504 --> 00:57:26,407
Oh, that's just it. You
buy wives just like shirts,
1029
00:57:26,476 --> 00:57:29,468
and after you've worn them,
you toss them away.
1030
00:57:29,579 --> 00:57:31,979
Don't talk yourself
into a laundry complex.
1031
00:57:32,048 --> 00:57:33,072
(NICOLE GIGGLING)
1032
00:57:33,149 --> 00:57:34,741
Nicole.
1033
00:57:35,351 --> 00:57:40,448
No, Michael. No, Michael.
Don't do that, Michael.
1034
00:57:40,523 --> 00:57:44,050
Oh, Nicole, be sensible.
I mean, don't be sensible.
1035
00:57:44,127 --> 00:57:45,560
Don't hide your emotions.
1036
00:57:45,628 --> 00:57:47,425
Oh, Michael.
1037
00:57:47,931 --> 00:57:50,331
Oh, why did I
eat that caviar?
1038
00:57:51,100 --> 00:57:52,863
BRANDON: You're nothing
but a silly little thing.
1039
00:57:52,936 --> 00:57:57,999
How can a girl be so foolish?
Why aren't you nice to me? Nicole.
1040
00:57:58,074 --> 00:58:03,478
Please, Nicole. You love me, I can
tell it. You're trembling in my arms.
1041
00:58:04,347 --> 00:58:08,909
Now, tell me you love me. Say
it. You're my wife, Nicole.
1042
00:58:08,985 --> 00:58:10,316
Michael?
Yes?
1043
00:58:11,154 --> 00:58:12,212
Kiss me.
1044
00:58:15,425 --> 00:58:16,756
What's that?
1045
00:58:16,826 --> 00:58:20,091
Kiss me, Michael. Kiss me.
1046
00:58:20,230 --> 00:58:22,994
(EXCLAIMS) So you want me to kiss you, eh?
1047
00:58:23,066 --> 00:58:25,398
Well, not so quick,
young lady.
1048
00:58:25,468 --> 00:58:26,799
You kept me waiting.
1049
00:58:27,170 --> 00:58:29,798
So you thought you could
master Michael Brandon, eh?
1050
00:58:29,873 --> 00:58:30,965
Kiss me.
1051
00:58:31,040 --> 00:58:32,940
Well, what does
a nice girl say, eh?
1052
00:58:33,009 --> 00:58:35,603
Please. Please.
1053
00:58:35,678 --> 00:58:39,136
That's better. If you're going
to talk to me like that, okay.
1054
00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:51,622
(LAUGHING)
1055
00:58:51,694 --> 00:58:54,754
You animal. You double-crossing animal.
1056
00:58:54,831 --> 00:58:56,298
Just one low trick
after another.
1057
00:58:56,366 --> 00:58:57,424
You've cheated
the life out of me,
1058
00:58:57,500 --> 00:58:58,990
you've bitten me,
and now this.
1059
00:58:59,068 --> 00:59:00,194
Why don't I...
1060
00:59:00,270 --> 00:59:01,259
(GRUNTS)
1061
00:59:03,706 --> 00:59:04,934
(SIGHING)
1062
00:59:06,142 --> 00:59:08,007
Well, now,
let's try to be calm.
1063
00:59:08,077 --> 00:59:10,045
Let's behave
like human beings.
1064
00:59:10,113 --> 00:59:11,171
Now, look.
1065
00:59:13,116 --> 00:59:14,606
Now, look here,
Nicole, I married you...
1066
00:59:14,684 --> 00:59:16,549
No, you didn't.
You bought me.
1067
00:59:16,619 --> 00:59:17,950
Well, then,
fulfill your contract.
1068
00:59:18,021 --> 00:59:21,718
Oh, Michael, now you're Mr. Brandon
again, the multi-millionaire.
1069
00:59:21,791 --> 00:59:23,656
Oh, cut it out.
You can't be so stupid
1070
00:59:23,726 --> 00:59:25,057
as to believe that
I made a contract
1071
00:59:25,128 --> 00:59:27,062
which guarantees
you $50,000...
1072
00:59:27,130 --> 00:59:28,995
No, $100,000.
1073
00:59:29,065 --> 00:59:30,657
Well, you're not going to get a cent of it.
1074
00:59:30,733 --> 00:59:33,395
Oh, no, of course not.
Not before the divorce.
1075
00:59:33,469 --> 00:59:35,198
I knew that's what
you were driving at.
1076
00:59:35,271 --> 00:59:37,705
From the minute we signed the marriage license.
1077
00:59:37,774 --> 00:59:39,503
And do you think
that's honest?
1078
00:59:39,576 --> 00:59:41,635
No, but it's good
business.
1079
00:59:41,711 --> 00:59:43,474
Do you know...
Careful.
1080
00:59:44,914 --> 00:59:48,611
Do you know what we call people
like you in America? Crooks.
1081
00:59:48,685 --> 00:59:50,949
You mean crooks?
I mean crooks!
1082
00:59:51,020 --> 00:59:53,147
That's exactly what
we call them in France.
1083
00:59:53,222 --> 00:59:54,246
(GIGGLING)
1084
00:59:54,324 --> 00:59:57,521
Oh, Michael, I'm your worst investment.
1085
00:59:57,594 --> 01:00:00,620
I don't pay any dividends,
and I'm proud of it.
1086
01:00:00,697 --> 01:00:02,824
That's robbery!
It's a swindle!
1087
01:00:02,899 --> 01:00:05,925
It's a holdup.
1088
01:00:06,569 --> 01:00:08,901
You're much
too rich, Michael.
1089
01:00:08,972 --> 01:00:11,406
Oh, Michael, let's have some of that money.
1090
01:00:11,474 --> 01:00:12,805
If you want
a divorce, Nicole,
1091
01:00:12,875 --> 01:00:14,706
you're going about
it the wrong way.
1092
01:00:14,777 --> 01:00:15,971
Oh, really?
1093
01:00:16,045 --> 01:00:19,845
You don't understand my fundamental
characteristic. It's tenacity.
1094
01:00:19,916 --> 01:00:22,384
I'm tenacious. That's why I'm where I am today.
1095
01:00:22,452 --> 01:00:23,817
Where's that, Michael?
1096
01:00:23,886 --> 01:00:24,875
Well, it's...
1097
01:00:25,421 --> 01:00:27,616
The more trouble a thing gives
me, the harder I fight for it.
1098
01:00:27,690 --> 01:00:31,820
If I let the word "failure" creep
into my vocabulary just once, I'm lost.
1099
01:00:31,894 --> 01:00:33,156
And as long as you
treat me as you do,
1100
01:00:33,229 --> 01:00:34,457
I'll give up
eating and drinking,
1101
01:00:34,530 --> 01:00:35,997
but I won't let you go!
1102
01:00:36,065 --> 01:00:38,431
Well, then, I'm afraid
we're tied together for life.
1103
01:00:38,501 --> 01:00:41,163
If necessary, I can always hang
on a half hour longer than you.
1104
01:00:41,237 --> 01:00:43,296
Oh, it promises to be
quite a fight, Michael.
1105
01:00:43,373 --> 01:00:45,307
And remember, my nerves are made of iron.
1106
01:00:45,375 --> 01:00:48,435
I fought Canadian Tin singlehanded
and left them yelling for help!
1107
01:00:49,412 --> 01:00:52,870
Oh, but I won't be fair.
I'll knife you in the back.
1108
01:00:53,683 --> 01:00:56,151
I'll kick, I'll bite, I'll scratch.
1109
01:00:56,219 --> 01:00:59,518
I'll fight you with every
vegetable at my disposal.
1110
01:00:59,589 --> 01:01:00,578
(EXCLAIMS)
1111
01:01:02,158 --> 01:01:05,025
Is it possible to talk to you quietly? Yes.
1112
01:01:05,094 --> 01:01:06,857
Now, listen. You want a
divorce as soon as possible.
1113
01:01:06,929 --> 01:01:07,918
Yes.
1114
01:01:07,997 --> 01:01:09,191
Let me give you a tip.
1115
01:01:09,265 --> 01:01:10,732
Stop keeping me
at a distance,
1116
01:01:10,800 --> 01:01:12,165
be nice to me,
and in three weeks
1117
01:01:12,235 --> 01:01:13,998
I'll probably
beg you on my knees
1118
01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:15,059
to give me a divorce.
1119
01:01:15,138 --> 01:01:17,265
Oh, that's very tempting, Michael.
1120
01:01:18,107 --> 01:01:20,803
That wouldn't be fair
to my future husband.
1121
01:01:20,877 --> 01:01:22,640
Your future husband?
1122
01:01:23,146 --> 01:01:27,014
Why, naturally. I'm going to marry again someday.
1123
01:01:28,017 --> 01:01:33,011
A woman can't take care
of $100,000 a year all alone.
1124
01:01:33,089 --> 01:01:34,716
Why don't I
take you right here
1125
01:01:34,791 --> 01:01:36,349
and crush you
like a matchbox?
1126
01:01:36,426 --> 01:01:38,758
What's preventing me? These
walls are pretty thick.
1127
01:01:38,828 --> 01:01:40,090
We'll settle this...
1128
01:01:59,649 --> 01:02:01,640
Elys�e 34530.
1129
01:02:03,653 --> 01:02:06,850
Hello. Pepinard and Pepinard?
This is Mr. Brandon speaking,
1130
01:02:06,923 --> 01:02:08,948
I'm still waiting
for Mr. Pepinard.
1131
01:02:09,759 --> 01:02:12,626
He left 10 minutes ago? Well, you
told me that a half an hour ago.
1132
01:02:15,498 --> 01:02:16,863
Nicole.
1133
01:02:16,933 --> 01:02:18,264
Hello, Albert.
1134
01:02:18,334 --> 01:02:19,995
You wouldn't mind giving
a poor bank clerk a lift?
1135
01:02:20,069 --> 01:02:21,366
Come right in.
1136
01:02:26,943 --> 01:02:29,343
They say at the bank that your
husband's going to Brussels.
1137
01:02:29,412 --> 01:02:31,573
Yes, this afternoon.
1138
01:02:31,647 --> 01:02:34,013
Well, Brussels is 400
kilometers from Paris.
1139
01:02:34,984 --> 01:02:37,214
Why, Albert,
you're an atlas.
1140
01:02:38,054 --> 01:02:39,487
Well, if he takes
the afternoon train,
1141
01:02:39,555 --> 01:02:40,852
he can't possibly
catch the night train,
1142
01:02:40,923 --> 01:02:42,891
which leaves there
at 12:45 for Paris.
1143
01:02:44,026 --> 01:02:45,994
You're a timetable, too.
1144
01:02:46,062 --> 01:02:48,223
Nicole, don't you see
what I'm driving at?
1145
01:02:48,297 --> 01:02:49,423
No.
1146
01:02:49,499 --> 01:02:50,523
Oh.
1147
01:02:51,300 --> 01:02:52,324
(CAR HONKING)
1148
01:02:52,401 --> 01:02:53,425
Nicole?
1149
01:02:53,503 --> 01:02:54,561
Yes, Albert?
1150
01:02:54,637 --> 01:02:55,729
Well...
1151
01:02:55,805 --> 01:02:56,931
(GIGGLING)
1152
01:02:58,808 --> 01:03:02,209
Now, look here, Albert. Even
if my husband went to China,
1153
01:03:02,278 --> 01:03:04,644
which is 10,000
kilometers away,
1154
01:03:04,781 --> 01:03:07,147
it still wouldn't
do you any good to...
1155
01:03:07,216 --> 01:03:08,513
(MIMICS GIGGLE)
1156
01:03:09,519 --> 01:03:11,316
I've told you so
a dozen times.
1157
01:03:22,331 --> 01:03:23,730
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
1158
01:03:29,806 --> 01:03:31,103
Oh, hello.
1159
01:03:31,174 --> 01:03:32,232
Hello.
1160
01:03:33,075 --> 01:03:34,702
Oh, you've grown
a mustache.
1161
01:03:35,645 --> 01:03:36,737
Mmm-hmm.
1162
01:03:44,187 --> 01:03:45,245
(TURNING KEY IN LOCK)
1163
01:03:45,888 --> 01:03:46,877
(SLIDING BOLT)
1164
01:04:16,953 --> 01:04:18,113
(SHUSHING)
Say, I've...
1165
01:04:20,423 --> 01:04:22,118
You're a fine detective,
monsieur Pepinard.
1166
01:04:22,191 --> 01:04:24,751
Please, Mr. Brandon, don't
use the word "detective."
1167
01:04:24,827 --> 01:04:26,818
I told the butler I'm your
doctor. Listen, I'm in a hurry.
1168
01:04:26,896 --> 01:04:27,988
I've got to catch
a train to Brussels.
1169
01:04:28,064 --> 01:04:29,497
What did you find
out about my wife?
1170
01:04:29,565 --> 01:04:32,466
Mr. Brandon, your wife's conduct
leaves nothing to be desired.
1171
01:04:32,535 --> 01:04:34,696
There is no other man.
I can guarantee it.
1172
01:04:34,770 --> 01:04:36,032
How about those
anonymous letters?
1173
01:04:36,105 --> 01:04:37,470
You know who writes those letters? Who?
1174
01:04:37,540 --> 01:04:39,974
Mrs. Brandon herself.
I don't believe it.
1175
01:04:40,042 --> 01:04:43,409
Have you any proof?
Sure. Please. Here it is.
1176
01:04:43,980 --> 01:04:45,572
It's the same handwriting as the others.
1177
01:04:45,648 --> 01:04:47,275
I saw Mrs. Brandon
deposit this letter
1178
01:04:47,350 --> 01:04:49,215
in the mailbox
this morning at 11:18.
1179
01:04:49,285 --> 01:04:51,116
"Mr. Michael Brandon,
Hotel Metropole, Brussels."
1180
01:04:51,187 --> 01:04:53,485
Intended to greet you upon
your arrival at Brussels.
1181
01:04:53,556 --> 01:04:54,750
How did you
get this letter?
1182
01:04:54,824 --> 01:04:56,189
Mr. Brandon,
the letter is here.
1183
01:04:56,259 --> 01:05:00,423
How I got it, let that remain a
secret between me and the mailbox.
1184
01:05:01,163 --> 01:05:03,256
"Mr. Brandon. Tonight at your business conference,
1185
01:05:03,332 --> 01:05:04,594
"when you are trying
to put something over
1186
01:05:04,667 --> 01:05:05,929
"on your associates
in Brussels,
1187
01:05:06,035 --> 01:05:07,900
"your wife will be putting something over on you.
1188
01:05:07,970 --> 01:05:09,767
"Too bad you didn't
stay at home. A friend."
1189
01:05:09,839 --> 01:05:11,670
Perfectly simple.
Neglected wife
1190
01:05:11,741 --> 01:05:13,299
wants to make
husband jealous.
1191
01:05:13,376 --> 01:05:14,968
Jealous, nothing.
She wants a divorce.
1192
01:05:15,044 --> 01:05:16,341
She wants to shake
my nerves to pieces
1193
01:05:16,412 --> 01:05:18,141
so I can't attend to my business anymore.
1194
01:05:18,214 --> 01:05:20,114
(SCOFF) But I'm going to fool her.
1195
01:05:20,182 --> 01:05:21,410
I'll go to Brussels,
all right.
1196
01:05:21,484 --> 01:05:23,384
That's what I'll tell her, only I'm not going.
1197
01:05:23,452 --> 01:05:25,477
I'm coming back unexpectedly
in the middle of the night
1198
01:05:25,554 --> 01:05:27,749
and surprise her with this mysterious Mr. X.
1199
01:05:27,823 --> 01:05:29,120
But there is no Mr. X.
1200
01:05:29,191 --> 01:05:30,453
That's just it.
I'm going to laugh at her.
1201
01:05:30,526 --> 01:05:33,620
I'm going to have some fun.
And will she be embarrassed.
1202
01:05:33,696 --> 01:05:35,288
I'm gonna make
her feel that small.
1203
01:05:35,364 --> 01:05:36,888
That's very small,
Mr. Brandon.
1204
01:05:36,966 --> 01:05:39,366
I'm going to cure
that young lady.
1205
01:05:39,435 --> 01:05:41,027
Thank you very much,
Mr. Pepinard. Goodbye.
1206
01:05:41,103 --> 01:05:42,161
Au revoir,
Mr. Brandon.
1207
01:05:42,238 --> 01:05:44,468
By the way, my wife doesn't
suspect that you followed her?
1208
01:05:44,540 --> 01:05:46,098
She doesn't even
know that I exist.
1209
01:05:46,175 --> 01:05:48,871
Don't forget Pepinard and
Pepinard is a first-class firm.
1210
01:05:48,945 --> 01:05:51,106
You will find that out
when you get our bill.
1211
01:05:52,148 --> 01:05:55,811
Don't worry, Mr. Brandon. There
is nothing wrong with your kidneys.
1212
01:05:55,885 --> 01:05:56,874
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1213
01:05:56,986 --> 01:05:58,078
Goodbye.
1214
01:06:06,729 --> 01:06:09,493
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1215
01:06:17,239 --> 01:06:18,331
NICOLE: Come in.
1216
01:06:20,843 --> 01:06:22,538
You must have mistaken me for someone else.
1217
01:06:22,611 --> 01:06:24,806
Sit down, monsieur Pepinard. Sit down.
1218
01:06:25,348 --> 01:06:28,283
You followed me, monsieur
Pepinard, so I followed you.
1219
01:06:28,351 --> 01:06:32,310
You live at 110 Rue du Regard, a nice apartment,
1220
01:06:32,388 --> 01:06:33,855
but it doesn't
get much sun.
1221
01:06:33,923 --> 01:06:34,981
But please, madame...
1222
01:06:35,057 --> 01:06:37,025
Oh, I know that doesn't mean much to you
1223
01:06:37,093 --> 01:06:38,390
but don't forget,
monsieur Pepinard,
1224
01:06:38,461 --> 01:06:40,759
your wife has to
stay home all day
1225
01:06:40,830 --> 01:06:42,491
and she's such
a pretty little woman.
1226
01:06:42,565 --> 01:06:43,998
Oh, thank you very much.
1227
01:06:44,066 --> 01:06:46,193
A little plump.
1228
01:06:46,268 --> 01:06:50,295
But it gives her a certain
charm. And what an engaging smile.
1229
01:06:50,373 --> 01:06:51,499
(CHUCKLING) Yeah.
1230
01:06:51,574 --> 01:06:53,769
It's too bad she has
such a vile temper.
1231
01:06:53,843 --> 01:06:54,867
Hasn't she?
1232
01:06:54,944 --> 01:06:57,174
I can imagine what she's like in an argument.
1233
01:06:57,246 --> 01:06:58,679
Oh, no, you can't.
1234
01:06:58,748 --> 01:07:01,046
You'd better be careful,
monsieur Pepinard.
1235
01:07:01,117 --> 01:07:02,948
If she ever finds out
that you're going around
1236
01:07:03,019 --> 01:07:06,682
with that little salesgirl from the
delicatessen store on the corner,
1237
01:07:06,756 --> 01:07:09,748
who, by the way, is going
around with someone else...
1238
01:07:09,825 --> 01:07:11,520
With whom?
1239
01:07:11,594 --> 01:07:13,061
What did you
tell my husband?
1240
01:07:13,129 --> 01:07:15,393
You're asking too much,
madame. Please.
1241
01:07:15,464 --> 01:07:18,900
Well, if your wife finds out
about the delicatessen store...
1242
01:07:18,968 --> 01:07:20,959
Well, madame,
in order to save my home,
1243
01:07:21,037 --> 01:07:23,232
I confess I told
him everything.
1244
01:07:23,305 --> 01:07:25,637
He knows about the letters.
He knows there is no other man.
1245
01:07:25,708 --> 01:07:28,108
He's coming back
unexpectedly tonight
1246
01:07:28,177 --> 01:07:30,543
to surprise you
and to laugh at you.
1247
01:07:30,613 --> 01:07:33,411
Well, maybe we can
surprise Mr. Brandon.
1248
01:07:33,482 --> 01:07:35,677
You're going to help me,
monsieur Pepinard.
1249
01:07:35,751 --> 01:07:36,979
I need a man
for tonight.
1250
01:07:37,053 --> 01:07:38,042
Oh, no, not me.
1251
01:07:38,120 --> 01:07:39,678
When my husband
comes back...
1252
01:07:39,755 --> 01:07:41,017
And he finds
somebody here.
1253
01:07:41,090 --> 01:07:42,455
He won't
laugh anymore.
1254
01:07:42,525 --> 01:07:44,789
But you must consider that Mr.
Brandon is a very strong man.
1255
01:07:44,860 --> 01:07:46,487
There is apt to be
a terrible fight.
1256
01:07:46,562 --> 01:07:48,587
Well, then, get me someone who can fight back.
1257
01:07:48,664 --> 01:07:51,394
I'll pay him 5,000 francs,
and I won't tell on you.
1258
01:07:51,467 --> 01:07:55,096
Very well, then. A prizefighter
will be the best way out.
1259
01:07:55,171 --> 01:07:56,729
How much does
your husband weigh?
1260
01:07:56,806 --> 01:07:58,831
I don't know him that well. I
had better get a heavyweight.
1261
01:07:58,908 --> 01:08:00,637
Yes. Have him
here at 10:00
1262
01:08:00,709 --> 01:08:02,506
and have him as well-dressed as possible.
1263
01:08:02,578 --> 01:08:04,671
You can rely
on me, madame.
1264
01:08:05,014 --> 01:08:06,709
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1265
01:08:22,164 --> 01:08:25,224
Yes, Michael? You shaved your mustache.
1266
01:08:25,301 --> 01:08:27,997
Well, goodbye, Nicole.
I'm starting for Brussels.
1267
01:08:28,070 --> 01:08:31,130
I'd forgotten all about that.
How long will you be gone?
1268
01:08:31,207 --> 01:08:32,538
Does that
really interest you?
1269
01:08:32,608 --> 01:08:33,905
Frankly, no.
1270
01:08:34,844 --> 01:08:36,573
You think I'm pretty much of a fool, don't you?
1271
01:08:36,645 --> 01:08:37,737
Yes.
1272
01:08:43,719 --> 01:08:44,981
Well, goodbye, Nicole.
1273
01:08:45,054 --> 01:08:46,578
Goodbye, Michael.
1274
01:08:48,157 --> 01:08:49,715
(BOTH LAUGHING)
1275
01:08:58,067 --> 01:08:59,625
(DOORBELL BUZZING)
1276
01:09:06,742 --> 01:09:08,107
I'm Kid Mulligan.
1277
01:09:08,177 --> 01:09:11,635
Oh, yes. I'm Mrs. Brandon. Come in.
1278
01:09:16,886 --> 01:09:18,217
(GIGGLES NERVOUSLY)
1279
01:09:18,821 --> 01:09:21,016
Yes. Come in.
1280
01:09:25,261 --> 01:09:27,991
Sit down.
Thanks, madam.
1281
01:09:28,063 --> 01:09:29,997
We may have to
wait a little while.
1282
01:09:30,065 --> 01:09:31,623
Oh, that's all right.
1283
01:09:33,035 --> 01:09:35,230
You understand the situation, I suppose?
1284
01:09:35,304 --> 01:09:37,568
Yes, madam,
I get the whole setup.
1285
01:09:37,640 --> 01:09:40,108
And I certainly appreciate
this opportunity, Mrs. Brandon.
1286
01:09:40,176 --> 01:09:42,610
You don't know how tough it is for
an American to get a fight in Paris.
1287
01:09:42,678 --> 01:09:45,704
And I won't disappoint you.
I'm all steamed up, ready to go.
1288
01:09:46,482 --> 01:09:47,574
Yes.
1289
01:09:47,650 --> 01:09:50,312
You know, I don't want you
to really hurt my husband.
1290
01:09:50,386 --> 01:09:54,049
Oh, I'll carry him along,
just keep away with a left jab.
1291
01:09:54,123 --> 01:09:57,024
A left... What does that do, exactly?
1292
01:09:57,092 --> 01:09:59,287
Well, I might split his lip
or cut his eye a little.
1293
01:09:59,361 --> 01:10:01,659
Oh, that sounds terrible.
You mustn't do that.
1294
01:10:01,730 --> 01:10:03,459
Well, I gotta defend myself.
1295
01:10:03,532 --> 01:10:04,760
Oh, of course.
1296
01:10:05,167 --> 01:10:09,604
Oh, but split and cut.
That sounds horrible.
1297
01:10:09,672 --> 01:10:12,140
Couldn't you do something
a little more civilized?
1298
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:14,733
You know, just pick him up
and throw him in a corner?
1299
01:10:14,810 --> 01:10:16,334
Oh, no. That's wrestling.
1300
01:10:17,680 --> 01:10:20,171
I'll tell you what. Why don't
you let me knock him out?
1301
01:10:20,249 --> 01:10:22,581
Knock him out?
Oh, for heaven's sake, no.
1302
01:10:22,651 --> 01:10:25,051
Oh, all you people got the
wrong idea about a knockout.
1303
01:10:25,120 --> 01:10:28,419
If you hit a guy on the right
spot, down he goes like a light.
1304
01:10:28,490 --> 01:10:30,515
No pain?
Pain? No.
1305
01:10:30,593 --> 01:10:31,992
You dream like a baby.
1306
01:10:32,061 --> 01:10:33,153
I can't believe it.
1307
01:10:33,229 --> 01:10:35,094
Well, I'm speaking
from experience.
1308
01:10:35,164 --> 01:10:36,461
Have you been
knocked out?
1309
01:10:36,532 --> 01:10:40,730
Plenty. And believe me, there's
nothing like it. What a sensation.
1310
01:10:40,803 --> 01:10:42,395
Once I hit the canvas with a bang,
1311
01:10:42,471 --> 01:10:44,132
and the next minute
there I was
1312
01:10:44,206 --> 01:10:47,698
in a Japanese garden with
them pink cherry blossoms.
1313
01:10:47,776 --> 01:10:50,404
Another time, I was floating over Constantinople.
1314
01:10:50,479 --> 01:10:53,915
I tell you, you get to see countries
you otherwise couldn't afford to visit.
1315
01:10:54,883 --> 01:10:57,113
It sounds
perfectly wonderful.
1316
01:10:57,186 --> 01:10:59,518
And the time I fought
Battleship McCarthy.
1317
01:10:59,588 --> 01:11:01,613
Boy, I'll never forget
that second round.
1318
01:11:01,690 --> 01:11:04,022
Now, I ask you, Mrs. Brandon,
where is there another racket
1319
01:11:04,093 --> 01:11:06,653
where a man of my weight
can feel like a flying fish?
1320
01:11:08,063 --> 01:11:12,830
All right, then, do it. No, don't
do it. It's too good for him.
1321
01:11:12,901 --> 01:11:15,267
Come on, Mrs. Brandon,
don't be so hardboiled.
1322
01:11:15,337 --> 01:11:17,771
Oh, no, no, no, no.
He doesn't deserve it.
1323
01:11:17,840 --> 01:11:20,138
Why should he dream he's in a Japanese garden?
1324
01:11:20,209 --> 01:11:21,904
After what
he's done to me?
1325
01:11:21,977 --> 01:11:25,378
I should pay 5,000 francs so that
he can feel like a flying fish?
1326
01:11:25,447 --> 01:11:27,142
No, no, never.
1327
01:11:27,216 --> 01:11:30,674
But, Mrs. Brandon, he's your
husband. You must have loved him once.
1328
01:11:30,753 --> 01:11:33,847
Let's not talk about it. Come on,
Mrs. Brandon, give him a break.
1329
01:11:33,922 --> 01:11:35,514
Have a heart.
1330
01:11:35,591 --> 01:11:38,025
All right, knock him out. Sit down.
1331
01:11:50,172 --> 01:11:51,230
(DOOR CLOSING)
1332
01:11:51,307 --> 01:11:52,296
(SHUSHING)
1333
01:11:54,143 --> 01:11:55,974
(KNOCKING ON THE DOOR)
1334
01:11:58,314 --> 01:11:59,372
Come in.
1335
01:12:03,052 --> 01:12:06,215
Come in. What's the matter
with you? Why don't you come in?
1336
01:12:14,730 --> 01:12:17,460
Surprised, huh?
What are you staring at?
1337
01:12:18,033 --> 01:12:19,022
(THUDDING)
1338
01:12:20,035 --> 01:12:22,265
I love you, Michael,
but it's good for you.
1339
01:12:24,340 --> 01:12:25,830
Good night.
1340
01:12:27,109 --> 01:12:28,041
(ALL LAUGHING)
1341
01:12:39,955 --> 01:12:41,149
(NICOLE GRUNTING)
1342
01:12:41,223 --> 01:12:44,420
Oh, you've ruined my whole plan, you idiot.
1343
01:12:44,493 --> 01:12:47,519
It serves you right, bringing me a
handbag in the middle of the night.
1344
01:12:47,596 --> 01:12:48,893
You've spoiled
everything.
1345
01:12:48,964 --> 01:12:51,432
I'm tired.
I want to go home.
1346
01:12:51,767 --> 01:12:53,166
(CAR APPROACHING)
1347
01:13:06,815 --> 01:13:10,717
Albert. Oh, I'm so sorry,
Albert. Poor Albert.
1348
01:13:10,786 --> 01:13:13,914
Where did he hit you?
Show Nicole.
1349
01:13:14,323 --> 01:13:15,950
Here.
Here?
1350
01:13:17,626 --> 01:13:21,892
There. Right here? Right here, Albert?
1351
01:13:43,852 --> 01:13:44,841
(EXCLAIMS)
1352
01:13:46,221 --> 01:13:47,449
Hello, Nicole.
1353
01:13:48,490 --> 01:13:52,722
Hello, Michael. I thought you were in Brussels.
1354
01:13:52,795 --> 01:13:53,921
Surprised
to see me back?
1355
01:13:53,996 --> 01:13:55,088
Naturally.
1356
01:13:55,164 --> 01:13:58,099
Oh, but it doesn't
make any difference.
1357
01:13:58,167 --> 01:13:59,657
You look a little nervous.
1358
01:13:59,735 --> 01:14:00,827
Why should I
be nervous?
1359
01:14:00,903 --> 01:14:03,394
Husband comes
home unexpectedly.
1360
01:14:03,472 --> 01:14:05,963
Why, you don't think for a moment
that I have anything to hide?
1361
01:14:06,041 --> 01:14:09,010
No, I really don't. Well, I
think I'll go and get some sleep.
1362
01:14:09,244 --> 01:14:12,111
If you have the slightest
doubt, why don't you go in?
1363
01:14:12,181 --> 01:14:14,240
Let me tell you something, I'm
gonna fool you. I'm going in.
1364
01:14:14,316 --> 01:14:17,080
Oh, no, Michael. No, Michael, you can't do that.
1365
01:14:17,152 --> 01:14:18,517
(LAUGHING)
1366
01:14:20,522 --> 01:14:22,319
Quiet, please.
1367
01:14:29,398 --> 01:14:30,387
Oh, no.
1368
01:14:40,776 --> 01:14:43,836
You worm. You miserable little
pipsqueak. I'm going to...
1369
01:14:43,912 --> 01:14:46,142
Here. Oh, Michael, please don't hurt him.
1370
01:14:46,215 --> 01:14:47,842
Hurt him? I'm gonna wring his neck. No, Michael.
1371
01:14:47,916 --> 01:14:50,476
He just came to
bring a handbag.
1372
01:14:52,521 --> 01:14:53,988
Now, look here.
1373
01:14:54,056 --> 01:14:55,318
You made a nervous wreck out of me,
1374
01:14:55,390 --> 01:14:56,982
you tortured me,
you took my pride away,
1375
01:14:57,059 --> 01:15:00,688
my self-respect and I stood for
it, but if you try to tell me
1376
01:15:00,762 --> 01:15:03,993
that he just came here to
bring a handbag, I'll kill you.
1377
01:15:05,567 --> 01:15:06,693
Get out.
1378
01:15:06,768 --> 01:15:08,827
Yes, Albert,
get out. Go home.
1379
01:15:08,904 --> 01:15:09,893
I can't go.
1380
01:15:09,972 --> 01:15:11,200
I said go!
1381
01:15:11,273 --> 01:15:13,764
I can't go while you're sitting on my pants.
1382
01:15:31,260 --> 01:15:33,353
Well, Nicole, you win.
1383
01:15:33,729 --> 01:15:35,594
Someone had to win.
1384
01:15:35,664 --> 01:15:39,361
I've got to hand it to you. You're
the first person that ever licked me.
1385
01:15:39,468 --> 01:15:42,232
You wanted to hurt me, and you did.
1386
01:15:42,304 --> 01:15:45,102
Well, come on,
why don't you laugh?
1387
01:15:48,777 --> 01:15:51,769
I'll send my lawyer round in the
morning. You can get the divorce.
1388
01:15:51,847 --> 01:15:54,338
Oh, no, Michael. After all, I'm the guilty party.
1389
01:15:54,416 --> 01:15:56,816
It's only fair that I should take the blame.
1390
01:15:57,419 --> 01:15:59,512
Well, now look
here, Nicole.
1391
01:15:59,588 --> 01:16:03,183
For several reasons, I think I
should appear to be the guilty party.
1392
01:16:04,259 --> 01:16:07,717
Oh, I forgot.
Your reputation.
1393
01:16:08,730 --> 01:16:11,858
Oh, of course, Michael.
Naturally, I'll get the divorce.
1394
01:16:11,934 --> 01:16:14,232
The world will never know
what really happened.
1395
01:16:14,303 --> 01:16:15,793
As far as the public
is concerned,
1396
01:16:15,871 --> 01:16:19,830
Michael Brandon has tired of
another wife and walked out.
1397
01:16:20,809 --> 01:16:25,678
Another feather in your
cap. Well, goodbye, Michael.
1398
01:16:25,747 --> 01:16:26,839
Goodbye, Nicole.
1399
01:16:59,147 --> 01:17:02,310
Well, goodbye, Professor, and
thank you a thousand times.
1400
01:17:02,384 --> 01:17:03,646
You really feel well,
monsieur Potin?
1401
01:17:03,719 --> 01:17:05,448
Well, simply wonderful.
1402
01:17:06,021 --> 01:17:07,886
I must have been in pretty bad shape, though.
1403
01:17:07,956 --> 01:17:10,823
Now, tell me, have you ever
had a case like mine before?
1404
01:17:10,892 --> 01:17:12,325
Frankly, no.
1405
01:17:12,394 --> 01:17:14,021
It's common enough
for people to believe
1406
01:17:14,096 --> 01:17:15,154
that they are
Alexander the Great
1407
01:17:15,230 --> 01:17:17,721
or Napoleon.
We're prepared for that.
1408
01:17:17,799 --> 01:17:20,267
But for a man to imagine he's a chicken...
1409
01:17:20,469 --> 01:17:22,494
Well, I should say that's
quite out of the ordinary.
1410
01:17:22,571 --> 01:17:24,505
Professor, I'll never forget that terrible morning
1411
01:17:24,573 --> 01:17:26,700
when I flew into the kitchen and said to the cook,
1412
01:17:26,775 --> 01:17:30,677
"Anna, where are the noodles?
Quick, make soup out of me."
1413
01:17:31,513 --> 01:17:34,380
Strange what the stock market can do to one.
1414
01:17:34,449 --> 01:17:36,417
Well, well,
that's all over now.
1415
01:17:36,485 --> 01:17:39,613
Thanks to you and your splendid
system of self-suggestion.
1416
01:17:39,688 --> 01:17:41,815
Goodbye, monsieur Potin,
and good luck.
1417
01:17:41,890 --> 01:17:43,016
(BOY SHOUTING IN FRENCH)
1418
01:17:43,091 --> 01:17:44,820
Hey, boy, come here, give me a paper.
1419
01:17:46,828 --> 01:17:47,817
(SPEAKING FRENCH)
1420
01:17:58,573 --> 01:18:05,172
POTIN: Cock-a-doodle doo!
Cock-a-doodle doo!
1421
01:18:05,247 --> 01:18:06,839
You keep quiet
or I'll come down.
1422
01:18:06,915 --> 01:18:08,473
And not another
egg out of you.
1423
01:18:10,819 --> 01:18:13,947
(SIGHS) I feel fine. It was a nice day
yesterday, it'll be a nice day today,
1424
01:18:14,022 --> 01:18:18,220
it'll be a nice day tomorrow. I feel
fine, I feel fine, I feel very fine.
1425
01:18:18,293 --> 01:18:20,761
I feel fine. It was a nice day
yesterday, it's a nice day today,
1426
01:18:20,829 --> 01:18:23,821
it'll be a nice day tomorrow. I feel
fine, I feel fine, I feel very fine.
1427
01:18:23,965 --> 01:18:25,990
How are you today, Mr. Brandon? Not so good.
1428
01:18:26,068 --> 01:18:28,593
I feel fine, I feel fine, I feel very fine.
1429
01:18:29,071 --> 01:18:30,971
It was a nice day yesterday,
it's a nice day today,
1430
01:18:31,039 --> 01:18:34,236
it'll be a nice day tomorrow.
Your luncheon, Mr. Brandon.
1431
01:18:37,479 --> 01:18:38,639
(GRUNTS) Mutton stew.
1432
01:18:38,714 --> 01:18:40,181
Now, Mr. Brandon.
1433
01:18:41,683 --> 01:18:44,413
I feel fine.
I like mutton stew.
1434
01:18:44,486 --> 01:18:45,714
I liked mutton
stew yesterday,
1435
01:18:45,787 --> 01:18:48,347
I like mutton stew today and
I'll like mutton stew tomorrow.
1436
01:18:50,058 --> 01:18:51,116
(GRUNTS IN DISGUST)
1437
01:18:51,660 --> 01:18:53,855
I feel fine, I feel fine, I feel very fine.
1438
01:18:56,431 --> 01:18:59,628
Oh, please, Nurse.
Won't you be human?
1439
01:18:59,701 --> 01:19:02,431
You are not to see Mr. Brandon
under any circumstances.
1440
01:19:02,571 --> 01:19:05,540
Oh, you must let me in. Can't
you take me as a patient?
1441
01:19:05,607 --> 01:19:06,904
I'm very sorry, madame.
1442
01:19:06,975 --> 01:19:09,466
Even if I were to let you in,
it wouldn't do you any good.
1443
01:19:09,544 --> 01:19:11,637
He wouldn't listen to anything you had to say.
1444
01:19:11,713 --> 01:19:14,113
Why, the mere mention of
your name makes him violent.
1445
01:19:14,182 --> 01:19:15,843
If Mr. Brandon knew you were under the same roof,
1446
01:19:15,917 --> 01:19:17,646
he'd jump out
the window.
1447
01:19:17,786 --> 01:19:21,017
We can't take the risk,
so please, madame. Goodbye.
1448
01:19:24,493 --> 01:19:26,586
It's no use, Father.
They won't let me see him.
1449
01:19:26,661 --> 01:19:29,095
They won't even let me
talk to Professor Urganzeff.
1450
01:19:29,164 --> 01:19:32,361
So, Professor Urganzeff
won't talk to a de Loiselle.
1451
01:19:32,868 --> 01:19:33,960
Well.
1452
01:19:41,910 --> 01:19:43,741
(MIMICS DOG BARKING)
Yes, sir?
1453
01:19:43,812 --> 01:19:45,473
Will you
step in, please?
1454
01:19:57,492 --> 01:19:59,016
(INAUDIBLE)
1455
01:20:12,140 --> 01:20:13,164
(DOG BARKING)
1456
01:20:13,241 --> 01:20:14,333
Yes, Father?
1457
01:20:17,245 --> 01:20:18,234
(CLICKING TONGUE)
1458
01:20:18,947 --> 01:20:20,005
Nicole.
1459
01:20:22,751 --> 01:20:23,843
What happened?
1460
01:20:34,429 --> 01:20:36,590
You bought it?
It was a bargain.
1461
01:20:48,176 --> 01:20:49,302
Nothing.
1462
01:21:20,175 --> 01:21:22,939
Hello, Michael. How... Oh, I beg your pardon.
1463
01:21:23,011 --> 01:21:24,273
You get out.
But, darling...
1464
01:21:24,346 --> 01:21:27,281
And get out of here quick. Do you
know what you are? You are a...
1465
01:21:27,349 --> 01:21:29,283
I've never said that to a woman
before, and I won't say it now.
1466
01:21:29,351 --> 01:21:32,445
I feel fine, I feel fine, I
feel very fine. Get out of here!
1467
01:21:32,520 --> 01:21:35,978
Now, be reasonable, Michael. No,
no, there's no use struggling.
1468
01:21:36,057 --> 01:21:37,319
You have to listen.
1469
01:21:37,392 --> 01:21:38,654
You know, it cost me a great deal
1470
01:21:38,727 --> 01:21:39,751
to get this
interview with you.
1471
01:21:39,828 --> 01:21:41,489
You ought to
be proud.
1472
01:21:41,563 --> 01:21:44,464
Why do you think a woman puts
a man into a straitjacket?
1473
01:21:44,532 --> 01:21:46,022
Because she loves him.
Love.
1474
01:21:46,101 --> 01:21:47,534
You're a fine one to be talking about love.
1475
01:21:47,602 --> 01:21:49,331
Wouldn't be my wife
when you should have been.
1476
01:21:49,404 --> 01:21:51,929
The only kiss I got out of that
marriage was smothered in onions.
1477
01:21:52,007 --> 01:21:54,100
Well, let me kiss you now. Get out of here!
1478
01:21:54,175 --> 01:21:55,665
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
1479
01:21:56,578 --> 01:22:00,139
Hello. Oh, just a moment. New York.
1480
01:22:02,317 --> 01:22:03,306
(EXCLAIMS)
1481
01:22:03,952 --> 01:22:06,352
Hello. Oh, it's you, Jeff.
1482
01:22:07,422 --> 01:22:08,912
What I've decided
about oil?
1483
01:22:08,990 --> 01:22:12,448
Well, listen, I don't feel
like talking business right now.
1484
01:22:12,527 --> 01:22:16,395
No, no, I'm not sore. I'm in
a straitjacket. Call me later.
1485
01:22:16,464 --> 01:22:18,227
And now,
clear out, please.
1486
01:22:18,767 --> 01:22:21,133
Michael, is it Albert?
Is that what's troubling you?
1487
01:22:21,202 --> 01:22:23,602
No, no, I know that was a
put-up job, and it's just as bad.
1488
01:22:23,672 --> 01:22:25,469
Now, look here, you got your
money, that's what you wanted.
1489
01:22:25,540 --> 01:22:27,337
That's what you
always thought.
1490
01:22:27,409 --> 01:22:30,572
Believe me, Michael, I loved
you from the moment I saw you,
1491
01:22:30,645 --> 01:22:33,239
but you made it impossible.
I had to break you down.
1492
01:22:33,315 --> 01:22:35,909
I didn't want to be just another
girl in the Brandon Follies.
1493
01:22:35,984 --> 01:22:37,315
Well, you haven't
broken me down.
1494
01:22:37,585 --> 01:22:39,780
No, things have changed
for us both, Michael.
1495
01:22:39,854 --> 01:22:42,721
If I take you now, you can be sure I love you.
1496
01:22:42,824 --> 01:22:46,658
I'm free, independent, rich.
We're on equal terms, Michael.
1497
01:22:48,129 --> 01:22:50,893
(GIGGLING)
Oh, no, we're not.
1498
01:22:50,966 --> 01:22:53,799
You're in a straitjacket,
and my arms are free.
1499
01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:57,962
As a matter of fact, you're
in my power, darling. Sit down.
1500
01:22:58,039 --> 01:22:59,097
You...
No, no,
1501
01:22:59,174 --> 01:23:01,904
you never said that to a woman
before, and don't say it now.
1502
01:23:01,977 --> 01:23:03,968
Please, Michael,
have a chair.
1503
01:23:05,380 --> 01:23:08,247
Get away from me. No, now
don't be afraid, Michael.
1504
01:23:08,316 --> 01:23:11,080
Whatever may happen, I'm
willing to take the consequences.
1505
01:23:11,152 --> 01:23:12,551
I'll marry you.
I hate you.
1506
01:23:12,620 --> 01:23:14,850
No, no, no, no, no.
You love me.
1507
01:23:14,990 --> 01:23:17,254
You ran away from me.
That proves it.
1508
01:23:17,492 --> 01:23:19,084
You've stayed single
for six months
1509
01:23:19,160 --> 01:23:21,594
for the first time since you
were thrown out of college.
1510
01:23:21,663 --> 01:23:25,155
And why? Because you couldn't forget me, Michael.
1511
01:23:25,233 --> 01:23:28,031
And they've been six miserable months for me, too.
1512
01:23:28,103 --> 01:23:32,335
Why? Because I couldn't forget
you. That's love, Michael.
1513
01:23:32,407 --> 01:23:33,396
Stop tickling my face.
1514
01:23:33,475 --> 01:23:35,102
That's not tickling,
that's caressing.
1515
01:23:35,176 --> 01:23:37,610
Then don't caress me. Then
don't pay any attention to it.
1516
01:23:37,679 --> 01:23:39,647
You'd better save your energy.
I'm never gonna marry again.
1517
01:23:39,714 --> 01:23:42,547
You've never been married
before, not my kind of marriage.
1518
01:23:43,184 --> 01:23:45,448
For keeps,
forever, Michael.
1519
01:23:45,520 --> 01:23:46,544
Stop caressing me!
1520
01:23:46,621 --> 01:23:50,079
No, that's tickling now. You're so
mixed up in your emotions, darling.
1521
01:23:50,892 --> 01:23:53,383
Wait till I get out of this
straitjacket, what I'll do to you...
1522
01:23:53,461 --> 01:23:57,329
Oh, I can hardly wait,
Michael. Michael. Michael.
1523
01:23:57,399 --> 01:23:58,923
Get away from me.
Stop doing that.
1524
01:23:59,000 --> 01:24:01,400
Nicole, please. This doesn't mean a thing to me.
1525
01:24:01,469 --> 01:24:04,529
No, no, no. And it's not gonna mean a thing to me.
1526
01:24:04,606 --> 01:24:05,630
No.
1527
01:24:06,174 --> 01:24:08,574
I feel fine, I feel fine, I feel very fine.
1528
01:24:09,244 --> 01:24:12,771
Oh, please, Nicole. Stop.
That isn't fair, Nicole.
1529
01:24:12,847 --> 01:24:14,178
(NICOLE SCREAMING)
1530
01:24:16,384 --> 01:24:17,442
Nothing.
1531
01:24:20,055 --> 01:24:23,684
Let me up, Nicole.
Nicole, let me...
1532
01:24:43,778 --> 01:24:45,837
Michael...
Shut up!
1533
01:24:48,616 --> 01:24:49,708
Nothing.
119246
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