All language subtitles for The.Nanny.S04E24.720p.HMAX.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_track3_eng

"According to
Vacationing Single,

the ratio of men to women
in Alaska is 50 to one."

And the nights
are six months long.

What does that mean?
On Saturday nights
I could sit in my igloo

watchingDr. Quinn
for what, 3,000 times?

I think Mr. Sheffield would
really like you to come with
him

when he takes the children
to Hawaii.

Oh, you know,
it's always the same thing,

dancing in the moonlight,
walking on the beaches,

then falling into bed wrapped
in each other's arms.

Since when?

Since Gracie doesn't like
to sleep alone.

Oh, Ms. Fine, what would you
think about a five mile hike
up a mountain in Maui

and then a helicopter ride
over an active volcano?

Throw in a barium enema
and I'm there.

Ms. Fine, how do you propose
to pay for your trip to Alaska

when you told me to lock
all your credit cards up
in the safe?

I'm sorry. I tuned out
after you said "propose."

I'm not giving your cards
back.
You made me promise.

Fine, I'll just call them
and I'll tell them
that I lost my cards

and then they'll have to
send me new ones.

Ah, yes. But then to prove
who you are, you'll have
to give them

your full name
and your date of birth.

Oh, you think you're so smart,
don't you?

I lied on the application, too.

[THEME SONG PLAYING]

♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing to the
Sheffield's door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there to sell
makeup
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have
guessed that the girl
we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪♪♪

Franny, you should
go to Hawaii.

- Oh?
- The last time I was there,

they had this
fantastic air show.

The sky was full of planes,
and the fireworks.

Whoo!

Did that happen to take place
in December, 1941?

Yeah.

I remember the whole shebang
was for Hanukkah.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, I'll get it.

Oh, it's Val.

- Hi, Val.
- Hi.

- What's the matter?
- Oh, my God, Fran,

you're not watching
The Young and the Restless?

Oh, relax. I'm taping it.

You know, I like to watch
Jack Abbott doing a love scene

while I'm eating a pizza.

That way Jack and I can finish
at the same time.

- You gotta watch it now.
- Why?

Jack Abbott's doing a love
scene with a certain tramp
from high school.

- [MUSIC PLAYING ON TV]
- [GASPS]

Heather Biblow?

What? There weren't enough
guys left in Queens

she's got to start sleeping
with fictional characters?

Yeah. And not only is
she making tons of money,

but she has an unbelievable
beach house in Malibu.

- Oh my God,
how do you know this?
- Oh, how.

- Well, she sent me a letter.
- [GASPS]

"Not only am I making
tons of money,

but I have an unbelievable
beach house in Malibu."

Why does she get all the
breaks?
She gets my fiancé, my job.

Now she's on my
favorite soap opera.

I hate that
back-stabbing lowlife.

And she's offering
to fly us to Hollywood.

And yet there is something
endearing about her.

[♪♪♪]

You girls want Haagen-Dazs bars?

- Oh, sure.
- Yeah.

Thanks.

BOTH: Mmm!

- Aren't you having any?
- [GASPS]

I've gotta watch my figure.
I can't let myself go.

You know, it's so sweet of you
girls to still be my friends

with me having all this
and you having nothing.

[CHUCKLING]

Now, Heather,
you're the sweet one

flying us out here first
class
just to rub it in our faces.

ALL: Aww!

Now you're gonna have
to entertain yourselves
this evening

because I have a lot
of lines to memorize.

Oh, well, maybe we can
help you with that.

- How many lines have you got?
- Four.

In a row?

No. That's the confusing part.

First, I say something,
then he says something

and then I say something
again.
Oh!

What a nightmare.

Um-- [CLEARS THROAT]

Let me ask you something,
Heather.

Who did you have to--
I mean, what did you have to
do
to get this part?

Nothing. This cute guy
came down to me at the beach

and he asked me "Hey,
do you wanna be in
television?"

I thought he was BS-ing me.
I thought he wanted to get me
in the sack.

- Yeah.
- Mm-hm. So I gave him
my number.

It turns out that he's legit.

I can't tell you how
disappointed I was.

Oh...

[MOUTHING]

[♪♪♪]

I still don't understand

why Ms. Fine would pass up
a trip to Hawaii.

Four-star hotel,
private beach.

Sharing a room
with Ms. Grace.

Oh!

Is that what the problem is?

She doesn't like Gracie?

Well, I'm gonna have to have
a word with that young lady.

Oh, God, is there a bigger
buffoon in this world?

Got here as fast as I could.

I am appalled that Nanny Fine

would leave Maxwell
in the lurch like this.

Luckily, I am available.

I was supposed to go
to Scottsdale to visit
my grandmother.

But, you know, as long as
they keep that plug in,
where's she going?

Well, I suggested you,
but Mr. Sheffield wanted someone

easier to look at
in a bikini.

Aloha.

The hotel has the private beach.

Look what I'm gonna wear.

That's it.

[♪♪♪]

Hello, ladies. May I help you?

Val! You're Larry
fromThree's Company.

- What?
- That can't be him.
Larry's much younger.

I just saw the show yesterday.

Val, this is why you lost
atWheel of Fortune

withLawrence of Aruba...

So, what happened, Larry?
You were a huge TV star.

What are you,
Diane freaking Sawyer?

Now, just tell me
who do you wanna see?

Heather Biblow of
TheYoung and the Restless.

Through the artists entrance,
make a right

check in at reception
with Erin Moran.

Erin Moran, too?
My God, they're here
today, gone tomorrow.

That's a reason
not to become a sitcom star.

I can't talk now.
I'm with the president
of the network.

Mr. Moonves, they wanna schedule
another casting session.

Why? They keep sending me
the same people.

I just want a fresh face.

All she has to do
is walk and talk.

- She's cute. How about her?
- Oh, what about me?

- [LAUGHS]
- Keep looking.

Oh.

Oh, Joanie Cunningham said
that The Young and the Restless

was somewhere right
around here.

Oh, my God! Taylor and Maggie
fromThe Bold and the
Beautiful.

We must be getting close.
Hi, Taylor. Hi, Maggie.

- Hi.
- Hi.

You guys must be playing
the hookers, right?

- Uh...
- Oh, yeah, that's right.

- Great costumes.
- Yeah. Thanks.

[BOTH GASPING]

Oh, Jeanne Cooper.
Jeanne Cooper.

Oh, my God,
we must be at ground zero.

My mother is such
a huge fan of yours.

Oh, thank you.
That's very sweet.

You know, when you had
your actual face lift
televised

she was nauseous for weeks.

- She lost 14 pounds.
- Yeah.

-[SHRIEKING]
-It's Malcolm!

- Tell him. Tell him.
- He's got his shirt on.

Hello. Hi. I'm Fran Fine
fromSoap Opera Digest.

Malcolm, would you mind taking
a picture with your shirt off?

No problem, ladies.
But come on now, admit it.

You guys are not from
Soap Opera Digest.

Then how come you're
taking your shirt off?

- What'd you do?
- [GASPS]

Give him a quarter?

[LAUGHS] Get outta here.

Oh, it's Nicholas, it's
Nicholas. Take a picture.

- Take a picture of Nicholas.
- But it's from the back.

Oh, that's his
best side, honey.

Ahh!

Oh, so many celebrities.
Can you believe this?

This hallway's better
than the lido deck
on the Love Boat.

- Oh, Nikki! Nikki!
- Oh, Nikki!

Oh, my God, Nikki,
we love you so much.

You are such
an inspiration for me.

- She started
out a stripper.
- I know!

And ended up marrying
the wealthiest man in the
town.

- Oh, you are
a role model for me!
- Oh, well, thank you.

You know, you're not
the first stripper
to tell me that.

[LAUGHS] First they think I'm
a hooker, now I'm a stripper.

- I better get this
dress in every color.
- Yeah.

Oh! This is so exciting.

It's better than Gabe Kaplan
ringing us up at the
commissary.

I know!

[BOTH SHRIEK]

Oh, my God.

Oh, Val, this is it. We're here.

The Young and the Restless.

[HUMMING "THE YOUNG AND
THE RESTLESS THEME MUSIC]

- Excuse me. Excuse me.
- Oh!

Would you mind waiting over
by the food table?

Sure, honey. We aim to please.

Oh, my God, oh, my God.
Jack Abbott.

Heather's gonna do a love scene
with Jack Abbott.

[SHRIEKS]

WOMAN: Action.

Shantal, we can't.

If Victor finds out,
he'll kill both of us.

- It's my turn to talk,
right?
- WOMAN: Cut.

Well, at least
I knew it was my turn.

We'll just start over
one more time,

right from the beginning. Okay?

Action!

Oh, Jack, I don't think
we should have gotten
on this plane.

Are we on a plane?

We were on a plane yesterday,
remember?

We sat in first class and you
said "I can't ride this
horse."

Here. Let's take a five.

Heather, for you,
that's a whole hand.

You were really good.

- Oh, you're just saying
that.
- No. Amazingly, she's not.

Heather, you know, we can
help you learn your lines.

Yeah. Fran's great.

She helped me memorize
my license plate.

That's right.

One, one, one...

V...

A...

L! Val!

[SIGHS]

Fran, are you sure
you can help me?

What's your first line?

Either she goes or I go.

But Peter, who on earth
are we gonna find

who can take her place
on such short notice?

FRAN: "Oh, Jack, I don't give
a damn about Victor.

I love you."

That girl.

Ms. Fine, you're
telling me that you've
taken a job on a soap

and you're not coming home?

Well, of course I'm shocked.
They gave you a speaking part?

Ms. Fine, does this mean
you're never coming back?

[ECHOING]Never coming back...

Never coming back...
Never coming back...

Never coming back...

Good morning, Maxwell.

Morning, Mrs. Sheffield.

Oh, of course I'll
tell Mr. Sheffield.
I expect him any moment.

Goodbye.

Nanny Fine's never coming back.

Aloha, we're home! Ms. Fine!

Hey, Fran?

Where's Fran?
We got her all these presents.

Oh, I can't wait to show her
this skimpy little bikini
I got...

...her.

Oh, the children
missed her terribly.

So where is Ms. Fine?
I've got all these things
to show her.

[CRIES]

C.C., what's the matter?

I am just so happy!

Oh, sir, how can I
break this to you?

Ms. Fine has taken a job
on a soap opera and she's
not coming home.

What? A speaking part?

[♪♪♪]

Furnishings are so gorgeous.

- Did you pick out these?
- Mm-hm.

You know, I just feel so awful
about taking your job, Heather.

I mean, it's breaking my heart.

What kind of a lease
do you have on this place?

I mean, you can't afford it.
Maybe I'll take it off your
hands.

Oh, Fran, you're the best
friend a girl could have.

Well, I'm only thinking
about you, Heather.

White wine on these carpets.

[PHONE RINGING]

Hello.

Yes, she is.
Hold on one moment.

It's for you.
Mr. Sheffield's on the phone.

- [GASPS]
- Ooh.

He needs to speak to you
right away.

Oh, boy, it's Mr. Sheffield.

He is so lost without me.

This is gonna be
totally pathetic.

Let me put him on speaker.

Hello, Mr. Sheffield.

MAXWELL:Ms. Fine

Niles tells me that you're
staying in California

to pursue an acting career.

That's right.

Ah, well, I want you to know

the house already feels
very empty without you.

Aww...

Ms. Fine, I realize
I can't persuade you
to come back as the nanny

so I'd like to propose...

Oh!

[MOUTHING]

...that perhaps Ms. Biblow
would like to come back
as your old job?

[GASPING]

Heather and Mr. Sheffield?

What do you say, Ms. Biblow?

I do!

[♪♪♪]

Well, I spent all morning
at the employment agency.

But I think I finally found
Maxwell the perfect nanny.

You know, there are a lot of
stairs here. We might need to
build a ramp.

Mr. Sheffield already
hired someone.

Ms. Fine recommended her.

Oh, fabulous.
Someone from Rent-a-Yenta?

Guess again.

Cheese.

Ms. Babcock, Nanny Biblow.

Niles? Niles,
I'm expecting a call

from Bill towel--
Powell.

Um...

- Hi, Mr. Sheffield.
- Hello.

And let me know when
Ms. Babcock gets here,
would you?

So, what would you
like me to do?

Oh, as far as I'm concerned,
your work here is done.

- So did Ms. Fine call?
- No, not yet, sir.
You miss her?

Of course I bloody miss her.

And I'm not sure about
Ms. Biblow working here.

Just who exactly is this plan
of yours supposed to benefit?

Nanny Biblow, I'm home!

Oh, this is so exciting.

I am an assistant
to a genuine soap opera star.

[SIGHS]
Yeah.

Oh, what's the matter, boss?

Oh, Val, I'm just picturing
Heather in that house,

parading around in front
of Mr. Sheffield,

and I'm thinking
this cannot be good.

- Places, everyone. Fran.
- Oh, okay. It's my turn.

I'd like to have you on the
sofa
here with Peter.

Okay. Now, start right
at the top. Ready?

Here we go. And action!

Oh, Jack, I have wanted you
since the first day I arrived
in Genoa City.

Shantal, I am so glad
you came into my life.

You've made me completely
forget about the four years
I wasted on Nan.

Huh?

Cut!

- Cut.
- Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Dear, if you can't
remember your lines,

the next one you're
gonna hear will be

"Doctor, how much time
does she have?"

I get it.

- Okay. Here we go.
- Sorry.

- Once more.
- Sorry.

Action!

Oh, Jack, I keep
thinking about you and...

Heather sitting on
Mr. Sheffield's desk.

- I just--
- Who?

- Who?
- Cut.

- Oh, oh, I'm so sorry.
- Fran.

- Oh, I know.
- You're making up
words again, dear.

I know. I'm sorry. I just--
I have these personal
problems.

Oh, well, maybe
you just need a little
lunch.

Would you like some chicken
or some fish?

Yeah. Okay. I'll do
a little chicken.

All right.

Order her the chicken meal

- on American flight 426.
- [GASPING]

[♪♪♪]

I'll go get the bags, boss.

Val...

We're in New York. You don't
have to keep calling me boss.

Just go get the bags.

Can you tell me when the next
flight for Los Angeles leaves?

Mr. Sheffield,
what are you doing here?

Ah, ha. Ms. Fine, um...

Well, Niles told me you were
returning from Los Angeles

so I thought I'd come
and pick you up.

Oh, that's very sweet,

but I didn't tell Niles
that I was coming home.

- Your mother?
- Nope.

Val sent a fax?

Val sent a fax?

She can't even figure out

why the cast ofCops
changing every week.

Oh, all right, Ms. Fine.

I-I was coming to Los Angeles
to bring you home.

Oh...

So, what are you doing here?

What happened to your
part on the soap?

Oh, acting isn't for me.

You know, they drive you nuts.
You do a breakfast scene,

you gotta be in there
with all that hair

and make-up in a bathrobe.
It's so unrealistic.

- You were fired?
- Yeah.

The southwest chicken
on American Airlines

was restaurant quality,
I gotta say.

- Did everyone miss me?
- Oh, very, very much.

One person in particular.

Don't you ever leave me again!

Oh, Fran, we're so happy
to have you back.

Heather could never
fill your shoes.

She tried on my shoes?

No. Just my dress.
She broke it.

Well, I'm just so happy

that everyone is so
glad that I'm back.

[SOBBING]

Why?!

[♪♪♪]