All language subtitles for The.Nanny.S04E19.720p.HMAX.WEBRip.x264-GalaxyTV_track3_eng

Darling, I don't care
what you say,

these rice cakes
taste like cork.

That's a coaster, Ma.

Here's the rice cake.

Will you stop hawking me?

The doctor told me
my cholesterol was perfect.

Stop it! Stop that!

You can't keep eating
fat like this

or you're not gonna live long
enough to dance at my wedding.

I'll take my chances.

You see how mean I get
when I don't eat?

- Well, goodbye, sweetheart.
- Bye, Ma.

Oop, not so fast.

What? You want a hug?

No, kisses.

- [PHONE RINGS]
- [DOOR SHUTS]

- Yello.
- WOMAN:Yes, I'm looking
for Ms. Fran Fine.

Oh, this is Fran Fine.

Oh, you have no
idea how happy I am
to hear your voice.

You know, if I had a nickel
for every time I heard
that...

...I'd have a nickel.

Maybe I should just be direct.

My name is Lila Baker.

Ms. Fine,
there's a possibility

that there was a mix-up
in the hospital,

and I may be
your birth mother.

What? Oh, that's ridiculous.

I mean, you obviously have
the wrong Fran Fine.

Although, who else but
a mother could be so happy
to hear this voice?

[LILA LAUGHS IN FRAN'S STYLE]

♪♪ She was working
in a bridal shop
in Flushing, Queens ♪♪

♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend
kicked her out ♪♪

♪♪ In one of those
crushing scenes ♪♪

♪♪ What was she to do?
Where was she to go? ♪♪

♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪

♪♪ So over the bridge
from Flushing to the
Sheffield's door ♪♪

♪♪ She was there
to sell makeup
but the father saw more ♪♪

♪♪ She had style!
She had flair!
She was there! ♪♪

♪♪ That's how
she became the nanny ♪♪

♪♪ Who would have guessed
that the girl
we've described ♪♪

♪♪ Was just exactly what
the doctor prescribed? ♪♪

♪♪ Now the father
finds her beguiling ♪♪

♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪

♪♪ And the kids
are actually smiling ♪♪

♪♪ Such♪♪

♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪

♪♪ When everybody else
is wearing tan ♪♪

♪♪ The flashy girl
from Flushing ♪♪

♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪

So, C.C., how is everything
going in Los Angeles, hmm?

C.C.:Fabulous, Maxwell.

I have a friend at CBS
who wants to buy our show

and turn it into a TV series!

Whoa, back up.

You have a friend?

So, C.C., you do realize

if we sell this idea,
you're gonna have to
live out there.

What?

No comment
from the Quicker Picker
Upper?

No. He's outside.
I don't think he heard you.

NILES: Whoo-hoo!

Oh, Mr. Sheffield,
I'm so freaked out.

A woman just called
and told me that Ma may
not be my real mother.

So... are we happy or sad?

We're thinking.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Ma, look at you.

You're being so good.
I'm so proud of you.

Well, I'm trying.

Now I know why I breast-fed
for two years.

I was sucking Yoo-Hoo.

You know, Ma, if you
continue to eat this way,

you are going to kill yourself.

You know, I get so little
pleasure in life.

It's not like you've
given me a wedding to plan

- or grandchildren or--
- Have some whipped cream.

Thank you.

Ma, when I was born,
who did I look like?

Dick Van Patten.

And when we were
in the hospital, were you
with me every second?

I never let you
out of my sight.

Not even to go out and steal

some rice pudding
or Jell-O or--

What are you,
the hospital security?

So I took a cobbler
that didn't belong to me.

The woman was catatonic.

So you did leave me.

[QUIETLY] Maybe
we're not related.

[theme song fromMaude

SYLVIA:♪♪ And then
there's Maude ♪♪

♪♪ And then there's Maude ♪♪

♪♪ And then there's Maude ♪♪

♪♪ And then there's Maude ♪♪

♪♪ And then there's Maude ♪♪

♪♪ That uncompromisin',
enterprisin' ♪♪

♪♪ Anything
but tranqulizin' ♪♪

♪♪ Right on Maude! ♪♪

Nadine, Francine, come on in.

I madegedempte
meatballs mit noodles.

Why do you have to scream?
We're right here.

Who's screaming?

Morty!

Ma, you sound so obnoxious.

I can't believe
you're my mother.

Well, believe it.

Meet my hips,
Nadine and Francine.

Who's she blaming for her
tush,
cousin Scooter Pie?

[LAUGHS]

Oh, I'm just so honored

that Totie Fields
came for supper.

Maybe you're not
her real daughter.

Did you ever wonder why you have
black hair and we have blonde?

That's because
Francine looks like Daddy.

See?

Now, less talk and more eat.

After supper,

we're gonna go buy
your Halloween costumes.

I thought you'd go as a bride.

I don't want to go as a bride.

I want to go as a career woman.

A career woman?

Whose child are you?

That's it, young lady.

No moreThat Girl

Ma, I have something very
important I need to tell
you.

Oh, let me switch to a softer
food so I could hear you.

Ma, a woman called me this
morning and said

that because
of a hospital mix-up years
ago,

it's possible that
she's my real mother.

Oh, my God!

What kind of a crackpot
would make up a thing like
that?

She's trying to extort
something probably,

from me and your father.

Like what, Ma?

Your toaster oven
with the burnt cheese
on the heating coil?

Ma...

I invited this woman over
to the house tomorrow.

I just need to know.

Fran, you are my daughter.

I remember every detail of
your
birth like it was yesterday.

I remember I ordered
two eggs over easy.

It came scrambled
but I'm not a complainer.

Then I'm thinking,
what is so delicious?

And I find bacon bits in it.

I had to push it away.
It was Rosh Hashanah.

I was born on a Jewish holiday?

Oh, my God, then there really
could have been a mix-up.

I mean, what, were there,
like, two doctors left
in that hospital?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Your cheeks were so rosy
when you were a baby.

Were you wearing blush?

No. I was making.

C.C., just tell them
the deal is off.

I want you to get yourself
on a plane and come home.

Are you stark raving mad, sir?
Sell that shlock.

I'd just like to know
why they were interested
in my play in the first place

if they wanna change everything.

Oh, you'll drive yourself
crazy
asking questions like that.

Just tell them,
show me the money!

I'll call her back in the car.

Now, come on,
we're gonna miss the movies.

- Bye, Fran.
- Bye, kids. Have fun.

There we are, Ms. Fine.

This way you can meet
your new mother in private.

Don't call me Ms. Fine.
That may not be my name.

I may be a completely
different person.

I may not even
talk like this.

Come here. Oh, come on.

I'm sure everything
is gonna turn out just fine.

[THINKING]Well, well, well,

I'm getting
a different mother,

and suddenly he can't
keep his hands off me.

Coincidence? I think not.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Oh, my God.

LILA: Fran?

Ma?

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, look at us.
You can't be my mother.

Why not? Your children
look nothing like you.

Those aren't my children.
I'm not even married.

You're not?
Honey, what are you waiting
for?

Sit down, Ma.

So I'm guessing that my father
was probably, uh...

a honky?

Well, actually when we first
met, I thought he was black.

But then two weeks after
we left Miami, he faded.

[LAUGHING]

Oh, Miami.

So then, I'm still Jewish.

Oh, absolutely.

You know, actually, Fran,
we wouldn't be sitting
here together

- if it weren't
for Morley Safer.
- [GASPS]

Morley Safer's my father?

No.

No, no,60 Minutes
did an exposé

on this nurse
at Midtown General.

She confessed that she had
mixed up some birth records

right around the time
both of you were born.

[GASPS]
How could that happen?

She said she dropped them
while she was chasing

some maternity patient
who was stealing food.

So anyway, my daughter
got tested and found out
that it was true.

There is no way that we
are genetically related.

- Oh, tsk, tsk, tsk...
- Oh, we were both devastated

when we found out I
wasn't her real mother.

Wait until she finds out
who her real mommy might be.

Listen, Fran, you know what?

I would love for you to come
to dinner tomorrow night

and meet the rest of the family.

I have two grown sons.

Oh, all right, I got brothers.

That's right. By my second
husband. He's African-American.

Oh, so I got "brothers."

[LAUGHING]

So you're telling me
that you're black?

And beautiful.

Well, you're finally home.

Ms. Babcock called,

and it looks as if she won't
be moving to California.

CBS decided not to do your play.

- Why?
- Because they saw it.

So now I bet they make me pitch
a hundred lame ideas

just to keep me
to that bloody contract.

Do you mean there's
still a chance

to keep C.C. selling shoddy
shows by the seashore?

You get in your office, man,

and come up with a fresh idea.

If I had a fresh idea,

I wouldn't be trying to sell
this crap on Broadway.

What about the story of the
nice
Jewish girl from Flushing

who discovers that her mother
is an African-American?

Excuse me, but this happens
to be a highly personal,
very private story...

- You'll get a royalty.
- ...that just screams
movie of the week.

- You want a nosh?
- Mmm.

I just made a peanut
butter sandwich

courtesy of mymishpocha,
George Washington Carver.

I just came by to tell you,
you're killing me!

Want it cut in half
or in the diagonal?

You're just gonna
let her walk out like that?

Diagonal.

Oh, she's waiting
right outside the door,

just waiting for me to come
around and beg her to come in.

SYLVIA: Bigshot,
knows everything!

I just want you to know

that after you gave me
the bad news yesterday,

my whole body broke out
in blotches all over.

- Look.
- Oh, please, no.

Let's keep those hatches
battened down, shall we?

Ma, calm down.
You're very upset.

- [CRYING]
- You want some pudding?

Why do people think
I only respond to food?

My heart is breaking!

Oh, Sylvia,
you're here, perfect.

Ms. Babcock faxed
over this contract.

We're doing a movie
about your daughter
and her two mothers.

[WAILING]

We'll need your
John Hancock right here.

Niles, can't you see
Sylvia is distraught?

My God, the woman
turned down pudding.

When did I turn it down?

[♪ Sister Sledge:
"We Are Family"]

♪♪ We are family ♪♪

♪♪ I got all my sisters
with me ♪♪

♪♪ We are family ♪♪

[SIREN WAILS]

♪♪ Get up everybody, sing ♪♪

What?

♪♪ We are family... ♪♪

[SHUTS OFF ENGINE]

Can I see your license please?

Officer, I was not speeding.

I'm citing you
for reckless driving, lady.

What reckless? I was
just putting on mascara

and brushing my hair.

What were you holding
the wheel with?

Driver's license, please.

You know, it is just
so obvious why you stopped me.

Yeah? And why is that, Ms. Fine?

[SCOFFS] Because I'm black.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi.

Wow! What a palace!

Ooh, I forgot something.

- What?
- My luggage.

- Fran, I'm so
delighted to see you.
- Hi. Mwah!

Oh, Ma, I just love
what you've done with our home.

Oh...

We had it all redone
in neo-classic.

Oh, we had ours all recovered
in neo-plastic.

[LAUGHING]

- I'd like for you
to meet my son.
- Oh, hi.

- How do you do? I'm David.
- Hi.

- Hello. I'm Mark.
- Oh, why so formal?

I'm your sister.
Come here and give me a hug.

You know,
I haven't seen you guys
in....

Well, ever.
[LAUGHING]

Shall we havehors d'doeuvres
in the salon?

Oy, a salon.

Why didn't Morley Safer
do that story 20 years ago?

Ooh! So, tell me, boys,
what do you do?

I'm a resident
at New York Hospital.

Ooh, ha!

I'm in NYU Law School.

And I'm a nanny.
Look at this, Ma.
Three professionals.

Boy, ambition like that,
it's in the blood.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

Ooh, raisin kugel.

- It was your
grandmother's recipe.
- Oh.

Man, her potato latkes
were the bomb.

- Where is she?
- Ma?

I can't keep silent no more.

Fran is my daughter.

I nursed her through measles,
chicken pox, her first zits,

and no one will ever
take her away from me.

You're black?

How the hell can she
be your mother?

Well, her first husband
was Jewish.

Oh, well, that explains
the kugel I smell,

which no one has offered me.

Why are you pursuing this?
I am your mother,

and nothing that this
woman will ever say

will ever convince me
that I am not.

Would you two like
a little privacy?

We have a guest house.

You hear that?

Your mother has a guest house.

[PHONE RINGING]

Does your butler service
the guest house, too?

Ma.

BOTH: What?

Well, that was the hospital

with the results
of Fran's blood test.

Yeah?

Mom, I'm really sorry,

but your DNA doesn't match.

Fran's not your daughter.

- Tsk! Oh...
- I'm so disappointed.

I feel like I've
known you my whole life.

Oh, you know,
you will always be my friend.

Doctors make mistakes.
We'll get a second opinion.

Ma, you're embarrassing me.

Will you stop calling me Ma?

Knock it off,
you're my mother.

If I can accept it,
who's the bigger sport here?

BOTH: Good.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, I can't believe
I came this close

to having a gorgeous
mansion with a butler

and a loving family
of my own.

Ms. Fine, you have
all that here.

Here's what I'm talking about.

- [GROANS]
- Oh, C.C., at last,
there you are.

What on earth kept you?

Well, the plane
landed in Chicago,
Bucksnort, Tennessee;

and I don't know, Hooterville.

What hack travel agent
booked that flight?

I'm Niles, fly me.

Fran, is your mother mad at us?

She hasn't called,
she hasn't come over.

There are left-overs.

Oh, honey, I think
that the whole mix-up
really got to her.

She hasn't answered
any of my calls.

Maybe she just needs
a little space.

Sylvia, dear,
you don't understand.

You see, even if Fran
were my daughter

you and I are not related.

Fine, I know
when I'm not wanted.

And I'm not one to push.

Morty, wake up Yetta
and get out of the pool!

[AWKWARD LAUGH]

Hey, I grew up pretty good.

I got myself a mansion,
kids, a gorgeous husband.

You're the nanny, baby.

[SCREAMING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]