Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,200 --> 00:00:03,200
[theme music playing]
2
00:00:14,120 --> 00:00:15,240
What do you think?
3
00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:17,200
That's a lump.
4
00:00:17,280 --> 00:00:18,440
Yeah, so was yours.
5
00:00:18,640 --> 00:00:20,960
-Mine wasn't a lump, it was a bump.
-So?
6
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:23,080
They're two completely different things.
7
00:00:23,160 --> 00:00:24,320
What are you talking about?
8
00:00:24,400 --> 00:00:27,200
When a doctor says you have a bump,
it could be anything.
9
00:00:27,320 --> 00:00:29,120
But a lump, that's always bad.
10
00:00:29,200 --> 00:00:32,360
-Are you hearing yourself talk?
-When is a lump ever good? When?
11
00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,240
When a girl gets pregnant,
they call it a baby bump,
12
00:00:35,320 --> 00:00:36,560
not a baby lump.
13
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,920
Off milk is never bumpy milk,
it's lumpy milk.
14
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:42,000
Well, what about a lump of sugar?
That's good.
15
00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:44,480
A lump of sugar gives you diabetes,
that's bad.
16
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,640
-You're an idiot.
-I didn't just make this up.
17
00:00:46,720 --> 00:00:48,680
This is generally accepted
medical knowledge.
18
00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:50,200
It's basically common sense.
19
00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:51,840
Fuck it, I'm gonna search the Internet.
20
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:53,360
The Internet? Are you nuts?
21
00:00:53,480 --> 00:00:55,080
I don't know if this is some sick game
22
00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:57,240
you're playing with me,
but I'm not falling for it.
23
00:00:57,320 --> 00:00:58,960
I'm going to do my own research.
24
00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,040
Trust me, that's a bad idea.
25
00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,840
You should only trust
peer-reviewed medical journals.
26
00:01:06,240 --> 00:01:08,880
"Lump on stomach…"
27
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,280
-Would you say it's about 1 centimeter?
-Yeah.
28
00:01:11,360 --> 00:01:13,680
"1 centimeter in length."
29
00:01:13,840 --> 00:01:15,800
-Is a soft or hard?
-I'd say medium.
30
00:01:15,880 --> 00:01:16,920
Yeah, medium.
31
00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,560
What? What's it say?
32
00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,400
What happened?
33
00:01:24,800 --> 00:01:26,640
-Take me to the hospital.
-What, but…
34
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:28,360
Take me to the fucking hospital!
35
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:31,520
Sit down and we will call you
when a doctor is free.
36
00:01:31,600 --> 00:01:32,680
But I'm dying!
37
00:01:32,760 --> 00:01:34,080
[sighs] How are you dying?
38
00:01:34,160 --> 00:01:36,800
I've got a lump
the size of a macadamia nut
39
00:01:36,880 --> 00:01:39,640
and according to the Internet,
I've got one day to live,
40
00:01:39,720 --> 00:01:41,120
so get me a fucking doctor!
41
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,160
Oh, the Internet.
42
00:01:42,240 --> 00:01:44,160
That's the last place
you should have gone to.
43
00:01:44,240 --> 00:01:45,360
See, I told you!
44
00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:47,760
I tried to tell him but
he never listens to me.
45
00:01:47,840 --> 00:01:52,440
Oh, the Internet is full of the garbage
opinions of unqualified idiots.
46
00:01:52,520 --> 00:01:54,400
Do not trust anything you've read.
47
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:59,520
Believe me, I told him searching on Google
will lead to nothing but problems.
48
00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:00,640
Google?
49
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:03,880
We need to get you a doctor right now.
50
00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,120
-What? Why?
-You should have told me it was Google.
51
00:02:06,200 --> 00:02:07,760
Of course I searched on Google.
52
00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:09,400
Where the fuck else am I gonna search?
53
00:02:09,479 --> 00:02:10,800
You could have searched on Bing.
54
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,000
Bing? Nobody uses Bing!
55
00:02:14,280 --> 00:02:15,320
Are you kidding?
56
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,000
Every day, millions of people use Google
57
00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:20,520
to prove other people
who don't use Google wrong.
58
00:02:20,600 --> 00:02:22,800
If Google says you have
one day left to live,
59
00:02:22,880 --> 00:02:25,520
well, I'm sorry, I have to take
that very seriously.
60
00:02:27,360 --> 00:02:29,840
Ah! What do you think?
61
00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,560
Wow!
62
00:02:31,640 --> 00:02:32,600
It's brand-new.
63
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,520
This is Olympic sized,
the best in the market. [chuckles]
64
00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,200
Didn't you have one?
65
00:02:37,320 --> 00:02:38,760
A long time ago, yes.
66
00:02:39,320 --> 00:02:42,720
That's right. I remember,
you got it from, uh, rubbish collection.
67
00:02:42,800 --> 00:02:45,720
[all laugh]
68
00:02:45,840 --> 00:02:47,600
He's obsessed with rubbish.
69
00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:50,320
[all laugh]
70
00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:53,640
It was council collection.
71
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,680
This is brand-new, not rubbish.
72
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:58,120
You already said that.
73
00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:00,120
Okay, Dad, we better leave now.
74
00:03:00,240 --> 00:03:03,600
No, we will have a game first. Come on.
75
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:05,200
No, it's okay. Let's go.
76
00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,920
First to 11, quick game. You want to play?
77
00:03:08,040 --> 00:03:09,080
Yes, I will play.
78
00:03:09,160 --> 00:03:12,600
Okay, but you have to promise
no vomiting, huh?
79
00:03:12,840 --> 00:03:14,720
[all laugh]
80
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,360
Keep him away from the seafood.
81
00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:19,320
I don't want my new table to be ruined.
82
00:03:19,880 --> 00:03:22,440
[all laughing]
83
00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,080
Go easy on him, honey.
84
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,720
[chuckles]
85
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:33,920
Why go easy, why?
86
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000
10-2, my way.
87
00:03:36,920 --> 00:03:38,880
10-2, my way, you hear me?
88
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,000
Yes, I fucking heard you. Serve.
89
00:03:41,080 --> 00:03:42,920
Don't be rude to my dad, you idiot.
90
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,360
I'm not rude. I heard him the first time.
91
00:03:45,440 --> 00:03:47,160
He's just telling you the score.
92
00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:48,880
Ah, he's jealous.
93
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:52,360
-Me jealous?
-It's not easy to admit, don't worry.
94
00:03:55,760 --> 00:03:57,640
-Go, honey!
-Go, honey!
95
00:03:59,760 --> 00:04:00,720
Yes!
96
00:04:00,840 --> 00:04:03,480
How do you like that, huh? [chuckles]
97
00:04:03,640 --> 00:04:05,640
-Let's go again.
-That's enough, honey.
98
00:04:05,720 --> 00:04:06,800
I want to go again.
99
00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,080
Listen to your wife.
100
00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:11,960
That's enough playtime for you,
little boy.
101
00:04:12,600 --> 00:04:16,440
Stop it, Dad. Come on, honey,
come on. Come on.
102
00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:19,600
It's a bump.
103
00:04:19,720 --> 00:04:20,680
Really?
104
00:04:21,120 --> 00:04:23,720
This is without a doubt a bump.
105
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:25,520
You've got nothing to worry about.
106
00:04:25,680 --> 00:04:27,520
-How sure are you?
-I'm positive.
107
00:04:27,760 --> 00:04:28,800
[sighs in relief]
108
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:32,440
You don't understand, I thought
I only had one day to live.
109
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:36,080
No, no, go next door,
they'll take some blood
110
00:04:36,280 --> 00:04:38,600
and we'll get the lump cleared
in just a tick.
111
00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:40,480
What?
112
00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:42,440
The blood test, it's just next door.
113
00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:44,160
Yeah, but you called it a lump.
114
00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,760
-No, I didn't.
-Yes, you did.
115
00:04:45,920 --> 00:04:46,920
No, I did not.
116
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:49,160
Listen, I didn't come here for my hearing,
117
00:04:49,240 --> 00:04:51,640
I know what I heard
and you called it a lump.
118
00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,600
I have a speech impediment.
119
00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:56,040
-What?
-I swap my "L's" and "B's."
120
00:04:56,600 --> 00:04:57,640
Sometimes.
121
00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,280
So when you called it a bump
the first time, you really meant lump?
122
00:05:01,360 --> 00:05:04,000
No, I called it a bump and I meant bump.
123
00:05:05,040 --> 00:05:06,160
I said "sometimes."
124
00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,320
Okay, I want you to listen to me
very carefully.
125
00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:11,120
Is this a lump or a bump?
126
00:05:11,400 --> 00:05:13,600
-It's a bump.
-Okay, are you sure?
127
00:05:13,680 --> 00:05:16,360
Yes, 100% not a lump.
128
00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:19,400
Don't say lump. I don't
wanna fucking hear that word.
129
00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:20,320
It's a bump.
130
00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,720
-Yes, it's a lump.
-What?
131
00:05:23,200 --> 00:05:25,880
-I swapped the letters on that one.
-Fuck it! Fuck it!
132
00:05:31,520 --> 00:05:32,720
Are you nervous?
133
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,400
Yes. I'm not good with needles.
134
00:05:34,640 --> 00:05:35,920
We'll look after you.
135
00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:37,920
We've got a highly capable trainee doctor
136
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:40,320
who'll be doing your blood test
this morning.
137
00:05:41,440 --> 00:05:43,320
Hi, I'm Dr. Steve.
138
00:05:43,640 --> 00:05:45,400
Steve? What are you doing here?
139
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:46,800
I'm a trainee doctor now.
140
00:05:46,880 --> 00:05:48,760
What the fuck? I don't want him to do it.
141
00:05:48,840 --> 00:05:50,680
-Sorry?
-I know this guy. He's dodgy.
142
00:05:50,760 --> 00:05:53,000
I went to school with him
since kindergarten.
143
00:05:53,080 --> 00:05:55,200
He's always cutting up things.
He's fucked.
144
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:56,560
How dare you?
145
00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:00,000
Stephen worked very hard
to get where he is.
146
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:02,640
But I know him.
His degree is definitely fake.
147
00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:05,640
Have you checked it?
There's no way he's taking my blood.
148
00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:09,280
Typical! He's happy to accept
Australian medical treatment,
149
00:06:09,360 --> 00:06:13,320
but won't respect the education
process that sustains it.
150
00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:15,280
Look, I've had a rough morning
151
00:06:15,360 --> 00:06:18,120
and I just really don't feel like
being a guinea pig right now, okay?
152
00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:19,520
Unbelievable!
153
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,360
The future of our country lies right here!
154
00:06:22,600 --> 00:06:25,040
Pitiful! Fucking pitiful!
155
00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:27,800
Okay, fine, go for it, Steve.
156
00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:33,480
What?
157
00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:34,600
He missed the vein.
158
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:37,520
Okay, I'm not really comfortable
with him anymore. Can you do it?
159
00:06:37,600 --> 00:06:39,400
No, let him go again. You threw him off.
160
00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:40,960
How? How did I throw him off?
161
00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:44,960
Okay, that's enough, Stephen.
162
00:06:45,760 --> 00:06:47,480
He's missed again, unfortunately.
163
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,480
-Get away from me.
-Let me try one more time.
164
00:06:51,560 --> 00:06:53,080
Steve, listen to me.
165
00:06:53,200 --> 00:06:54,960
Put the fucking syringe down!
166
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:05,000
"Go easy." I could have destroyed him.
167
00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:06,600
I was a world champion.
168
00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:09,480
Champion of what? Eating without chewing?
169
00:07:10,040 --> 00:07:12,440
I should have put more pressure
on his backhand.
170
00:07:12,920 --> 00:07:14,360
What do you want for dinner?
171
00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:17,680
-Honey, what do you want?
-I do not want dinner!
172
00:07:17,760 --> 00:07:19,760
-I want to play him again!
-No.
173
00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:23,240
For once, everything went well.
It was a perfect visit.
174
00:07:23,360 --> 00:07:24,920
Perfect visit, my ass!
175
00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:27,640
Besides, he wins everything.
176
00:07:27,720 --> 00:07:29,440
Everything he does, he wins.
177
00:07:29,520 --> 00:07:31,120
-Everything?
-Yes, everything.
178
00:07:31,480 --> 00:07:32,680
[Mum shrieks]
179
00:07:32,880 --> 00:07:35,920
-What are you doing?
-He will not win against me!
180
00:07:36,400 --> 00:07:38,440
Turn around! Turn the car around!
181
00:07:38,520 --> 00:07:41,040
I will destroy him! I will finish him!
182
00:07:46,200 --> 00:07:47,320
Let's play again.
183
00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:50,560
-No.
-Why not?
184
00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,960
I don't feel like beating you again.
185
00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:54,920
[scoffs] I need a real challenge.
186
00:07:55,040 --> 00:07:57,280
-I was playing easy.
-So was I.
187
00:07:57,360 --> 00:08:00,080
Okay, then we both play at maximum.
188
00:08:00,200 --> 00:08:02,080
Uh… No.
189
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:03,960
I will destroy you!
190
00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:05,800
Give me another chance!
191
00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,040
-Honey, stop.
-Destroy me?
192
00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,200
I think I will go inside and have a nap.
193
00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,880
-$300 on the winner.
-[gasps]
194
00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,200
-Oh, no.
-300?
195
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,360
-500.
-Deal.
196
00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:20,760
Honey!
197
00:08:21,320 --> 00:08:24,360
Get us some drinks. [chuckles]
198
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,480
What happened?
199
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:35,760
You fainted during the blood test
and hit your head.
200
00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:38,440
But, great news,
you're all clear and ready to go.
201
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:41,080
I'm all clear, as in there's
nothing wrong with me?
202
00:08:41,159 --> 00:08:43,000
-Yep.
-So I'm not gonna die?
203
00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:44,680
Die from excitement maybe.
204
00:08:44,800 --> 00:08:47,160
It was just a small concussion,
you're all good.
205
00:08:47,320 --> 00:08:49,400
Concussion? What about the lump?
206
00:08:49,720 --> 00:08:51,800
-The lump?
-Yes! The lump.
207
00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:54,640
There's nothing about a lump in your file.
208
00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,840
What file? I'm fucking telling you,
209
00:08:56,920 --> 00:08:59,320
I've got a lump, that's why I came
here in the first place.
210
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:00,520
-Oh.
-Oh!
211
00:09:00,600 --> 00:09:03,080
Did you get the results
from my blood test or not?
212
00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:05,040
-I don't know.
-What do you mean you don't know?
213
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:07,280
Sorry, it… It could have been forgotten.
214
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:08,400
Forgotten?
215
00:09:08,840 --> 00:09:11,400
Am I in Australia
or a third world country here?
216
00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,520
How in the fuck do you just forget
about a lump?
217
00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,080
What seems to be the problem?
218
00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,040
Uh, I'll tell you what seems
to be the problem.
219
00:09:17,120 --> 00:09:19,200
You fuckers can't do your job properly.
220
00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:21,680
Found it! Found the blood test results.
221
00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:24,040
Sorry about that,
there must've been a mix-up.
222
00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:28,240
What? What is it?
223
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,280
[sobbing]
224
00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,960
I am so, so sorry.
225
00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:36,320
I just, I just can't.
226
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:38,880
No, no, no, no, help! Help!
I don't want to die!
227
00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,240
Somebody please help me!
228
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:42,200
-Please, somebody--
-Give me that!
229
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,760
Everybody calm down!
230
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:49,320
She's going through a break-up,
when she saw her ex-boyfriend's name
231
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,160
at the top of your results,
she broke down.
232
00:09:51,240 --> 00:09:53,800
Wait, the doctor who swaps "L" and "B"?
233
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,200
-Yeah, that's her ex-boyfriend.
-Oh, my God.
234
00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,440
She's absolutely devastated as well.
Really wrecked.
235
00:09:59,760 --> 00:10:02,600
-Horrible break-up.
-Yeah. What about the results?
236
00:10:02,680 --> 00:10:04,960
-Oh, they're inconclusive.
-That's all you've got?
237
00:10:05,040 --> 00:10:06,720
Yeah, inconclusive, we'll have to operate.
238
00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:08,840
Fucking 15 years of study,
239
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:11,920
billions of dollars of equipment,
inconclusive.
240
00:10:12,240 --> 00:10:13,880
What kind of bullshit is that?
241
00:10:14,800 --> 00:10:17,080
Is it a lump or a bump,
can you tell me that?
242
00:10:17,160 --> 00:10:19,160
-What?
-Is it a bump or a lump?
243
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:20,360
-Tell me.
-Why?
244
00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:22,440
Because lumps are bad and bumps are not.
245
00:10:22,520 --> 00:10:25,320
"Lumps are bad and bumps are not."
What about measles?
246
00:10:25,640 --> 00:10:27,040
What about chickenpox, huh?
247
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,920
Both of those give you bumps,
you little self-entitled prick.
248
00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:33,080
Now, there's a lot of things the
medical profession is ignorant of
249
00:10:33,160 --> 00:10:34,680
but we have come a long way
250
00:10:34,760 --> 00:10:37,360
since the days of drilling holes
in heads to cure headaches.
251
00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,120
Even though I'd absolutely love
to be doing that to you.
252
00:10:40,520 --> 00:10:42,720
Now grow up, go outside,
253
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:45,760
and wait until we're ready to operate
on you, you fucking dickhead.
254
00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,200
You can't speak to me like that.
I'm gonna complain.
255
00:10:48,280 --> 00:10:49,240
Who to?
256
00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,120
-I'm the top, mate.
-You're the top?
257
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:53,120
Yeah, I'm the top,
I'm the fucking head, mate.
258
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,160
Check me out, I'm in all the papers.
259
00:10:55,240 --> 00:10:58,800
Now get the fuck out of my office
and wait until we're ready to operate!
260
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,160
-I really thought it was true.
-It's not.
261
00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:07,920
I swear I read an article
262
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:10,920
called "Lumpy Milk:
Why a Lump Means You're Dead."
263
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,200
Shut up! Shut up!
264
00:11:12,280 --> 00:11:15,080
You put that in my head
and ruined my whole day, okay?
265
00:11:15,240 --> 00:11:18,520
You're stupid.
The theory is wrong and stupid!
266
00:11:19,680 --> 00:11:20,800
What are they doing?
267
00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:23,640
They're gonna operate on me.
They're removing it.
268
00:11:23,840 --> 00:11:26,640
Listen. There's something
I want to talk to you about.
269
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,040
What?
270
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,280
You know, you're going into an operation,
271
00:11:30,360 --> 00:11:31,960
they're gonna put you to sleep.
272
00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,560
I think now is the time for you to reflect
273
00:11:34,640 --> 00:11:36,280
on the things that matter in your life.
274
00:11:36,400 --> 00:11:37,800
Are you really doing this?
275
00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:41,720
To ask yourself, do I want to be
leaving loved ones tangled in debt?
276
00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,960
Look, let's just say you die,
I'm not saying you will,
277
00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:47,760
but let's just say you do…
278
00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,800
-Can I have your bike?
-No.
279
00:11:50,240 --> 00:11:52,360
-Why not?
-Because it's my bike.
280
00:11:52,480 --> 00:11:54,400
I know, but how can it be yours
if you're dead?
281
00:11:54,480 --> 00:11:55,600
I can still own it, can't I?
282
00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:58,520
Nah. Being dead kind of gets
in the way of owning things.
283
00:11:58,600 --> 00:12:00,440
It gets in the way of most things, really.
284
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,600
Okay, fine, you can have the bike, happy?
285
00:12:04,360 --> 00:12:07,040
-Do you mind writing it down?
-Why are you doing this?
286
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:09,840
Because a written declaration
is a legal document.
287
00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:12,160
It's all good for you
to just say it's mine,
288
00:12:12,240 --> 00:12:14,800
but without written evidence,
does it mean anything?
289
00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:16,960
God knows how many people want your bike
290
00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:19,040
or who might challenge me for ownership.
291
00:12:19,320 --> 00:12:21,200
Your neighbors. Their kids.
292
00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,080
Fuck, even worse, your parents!
293
00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:25,080
Okay, fine, get me a pen and paper!
294
00:12:27,920 --> 00:12:30,720
"I Theo will give to Johnny…"
295
00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:32,800
-"The bike!"
-"The bike."
296
00:12:32,880 --> 00:12:34,600
"In the event of my death."
297
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,880
"In the event of my death."
298
00:12:37,080 --> 00:12:39,880
"No matter what I say, even while dying."
299
00:12:39,960 --> 00:12:42,440
"No matter what I say, even while dying."
300
00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:45,640
"Even in severe agony, my words will…"
301
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:47,360
Fuck off, Johnny! Fuck off!
302
00:12:48,160 --> 00:12:49,360
Do I get the bike?
303
00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:51,000
[grunts]
304
00:12:55,960 --> 00:12:57,800
8-9, my way.
305
00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:01,960
Did you hear me? 8-9, my way.
306
00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:03,560
I know, I heard you!
307
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:07,400
I just wanted to make sure that it
got through to your deaf old head.
308
00:13:07,480 --> 00:13:09,120
[laughs]
309
00:13:15,240 --> 00:13:16,320
8-10.
310
00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,960
Oh, no. I think you are in a big trouble.
311
00:13:20,040 --> 00:13:21,680
[laughs]
312
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:22,800
Get me a towel.
313
00:13:26,120 --> 00:13:29,240
I will serve this ball and you will miss.
314
00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:30,600
Serve.
315
00:13:30,680 --> 00:13:34,960
But I am telling you,
I will serve and you will miss.
316
00:13:38,440 --> 00:13:41,200
Ahhh!
317
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:46,040
This is the power of hypnosis.
318
00:13:46,360 --> 00:13:48,680
You fucking loser.
319
00:13:48,760 --> 00:13:50,120
Honey, stop, stop it.
320
00:13:50,200 --> 00:13:53,360
You do not win at everything, you idiot.
321
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:55,120
Give me my money!
322
00:13:59,280 --> 00:14:00,480
Let's play again.
323
00:14:00,760 --> 00:14:02,280
-No.
-Why not?
324
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:05,120
Because I want real challenges.
325
00:14:05,320 --> 00:14:08,240
Okay, I will bet the table.
326
00:14:08,360 --> 00:14:11,840
-[gasps]
-My God, what are you doing?
327
00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:15,440
I will bet this brand-new Olympic table.
328
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,320
Don't listen to him, honey.
329
00:14:17,400 --> 00:14:18,480
What do you say?
330
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:24,240
The air conditioner
has to be exactly 21 degrees.
331
00:14:24,400 --> 00:14:28,240
-Done.
-And I want a jug of ice-cold water.
332
00:14:28,640 --> 00:14:29,720
Get it for him.
333
00:14:30,600 --> 00:14:33,120
May the best man win!
334
00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,760
Don't worry, we'll put you to sleep
and you won't feel a thing.
335
00:14:36,840 --> 00:14:38,120
Who's going to do the…
336
00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:39,360
Our anesthetist.
337
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,200
-What's it like?
-It's like nothing.
338
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:45,960
Like… A void of nothingness.
339
00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:48,280
Almost like being dead. [chuckles]
340
00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:52,960
I mean… Sorry,
it's nothing like being dead,
341
00:14:53,040 --> 00:14:54,920
I didn't mean "dead."
342
00:14:55,880 --> 00:14:58,280
-Sorry, I've had a long day.
-It's all right, Liz.
343
00:14:59,160 --> 00:15:01,480
Don't worry, mate.
You're starting to go now.
344
00:15:04,440 --> 00:15:06,520
Hey, Steve, great to have you here.
345
00:15:07,280 --> 00:15:09,600
-Hey.
-I saw your university transcript.
346
00:15:09,680 --> 00:15:11,400
-I'm blown away.
-Thanks.
347
00:15:11,760 --> 00:15:14,760
Our trainee doctor, Steve,
will be helping me this afternoon.
348
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:18,280
Mate, my hand's hurting a bit. Can
you take over and I'll direct you?
349
00:15:18,400 --> 00:15:20,240
Yeah, is the knife big?
350
00:15:21,920 --> 00:15:23,560
Are you all right with that, Theo?
351
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:26,800
Just move your eyes
if you're okay with this.
352
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:31,040
-Yeah, he moved there, didn't he?
-Yeah.
353
00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,560
Yeah, he moved, he's okay with it.
354
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,800
I'm gonna go out and get a sandwich.
I'll be back in a minute.
355
00:15:36,920 --> 00:15:38,080
-Are you coming?
-Yep.
356
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:40,160
[door closes]
357
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,640
Ha! You take that. 6-4, my way.
358
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,040
Yes!
359
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,160
-Take that, you idiot.
-Net.
360
00:15:56,240 --> 00:15:57,360
-Net, what?
-Net!
361
00:15:57,440 --> 00:15:59,400
-That did not hit the net.
-Yes, it did.
362
00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,280
-Yes, it did.
-It hit the net.
363
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:05,360
-Go, honey!
-Shut up!
364
00:16:07,160 --> 00:16:08,040
Argh!
365
00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,160
-7-4.
-Hit to his forehand.
366
00:16:10,280 --> 00:16:12,640
-You stupid woman, get out of here!
-Why?
367
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,400
I cannot concentrate
368
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:17,280
with your stupid voice in my ear!
369
00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:18,760
What's happening to you?
370
00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,040
-You too!
-What did you say?
371
00:16:21,120 --> 00:16:22,800
-I said get out!
-Hey!
372
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:24,880
Don't you tell my wife to get out.
373
00:16:24,960 --> 00:16:27,960
But my wife is get out too!
My wife is get out!
374
00:16:28,040 --> 00:16:30,600
I don't care! You, you stay here.
375
00:16:30,880 --> 00:16:33,840
Okay, you don't get out,
you stay here too!
376
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:38,080
7-6.
377
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:42,080
-[groans]
-7-7.
378
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,360
Time-out.
379
00:16:44,440 --> 00:16:45,680
I want a time-out.
380
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:52,760
-Argh!
-Yes, yes.
381
00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:54,640
Match point.
382
00:16:55,400 --> 00:16:56,720
My service.
383
00:16:58,240 --> 00:17:00,160
You must be very disappointed.
384
00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:01,440
I am.
385
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:05,319
But nowhere near the disappointment I felt
386
00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:08,359
when my daughter told me
who she was marrying.
387
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:09,520
[gasps]
388
00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:14,079
[both grunt]
389
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:40,240
Yes!
390
00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,640
You fucking loser!
391
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,440
Give me the table.
392
00:17:44,520 --> 00:17:49,200
This is my table, you fucking loser!
393
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,000
You're good to go. All done.
394
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:54,680
Really? The lump, it's all clear?
395
00:17:54,760 --> 00:17:56,320
Yeah. Yeah, nothing wrong,
396
00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,000
just an unusual cyst. Rare, but nothing.
397
00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:01,960
Okay, but I want to know,
why was Steve at my operation?
398
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,400
-Steve?
-Yeah, he walked in
399
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:05,520
as soon as I got the general anesthetic.
400
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,320
It must have be an hallucination
caused by the general.
401
00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:10,360
But I'm positive it was him, I saw him.
402
00:18:10,440 --> 00:18:13,320
You can get some very vivid
hallucinations under general.
403
00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,760
Now, go out there
and live your life, mate.
404
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,680
You're done and all clear.
405
00:18:18,800 --> 00:18:20,040
Thank you, Doctor.
406
00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:23,040
Ha-ha!
407
00:18:23,120 --> 00:18:24,680
I'm all clear, baby!
408
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:26,920
See you later, you sick bastards!
409
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:31,760
[yells]
410
00:18:32,680 --> 00:18:34,200
-Hey, Liz?
-Yeah.
411
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:38,800
This Steve guy, his degree, it says
he went to Sydney University,
412
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,920
but on the transcript, it says
University of Kazakhstonia.
413
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:43,520
-[Liz] Kazakhstonia?
-Huh.
414
00:18:43,920 --> 00:18:45,360
Is that even a real country?
415
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:49,640
[upbeat dance music playing on stereo]
416
00:19:06,400 --> 00:19:07,880
Hello!
417
00:19:08,840 --> 00:19:13,040
I thought about it and the table
is of no use to me anymore.
418
00:19:13,360 --> 00:19:15,720
So I thought I'd call you
to see if you want it
419
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,280
before someone else gets it.
420
00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:20,200
It is junk to me so you can take it.
421
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,760
It's a $6,000 table.
422
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:24,440
Yes, it's yours.
423
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:38,360
He's sick in the head honey, don't worry.
424
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,080
Go on, take it.
425
00:19:43,720 --> 00:19:47,240
And when you put it back
in your home, you fucking idiot,
426
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:52,040
you will always know,
you got it from council collection.
427
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,360
[theme music playing]
428
00:19:55,440 --> 00:19:59,080
-[Steve] Yeah, is the knife big?
-[all laughing]
429
00:19:59,920 --> 00:20:02,120
-I have a speech impediment.
-What?
430
00:20:03,240 --> 00:20:05,240
[all laugh]
431
00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:07,760
I swap my "L's" and "B's."
432
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:12,440
[all laughing]
433
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:15,600
-Why a lump means you're dead.
-[both laughing]
434
00:20:19,520 --> 00:20:21,600
So you know those fake Nikes
I put up on eBay?
435
00:20:21,680 --> 00:20:23,120
-Yeah.
-I sold them for 50 bucks
436
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:24,640
to a guy who lives down the road.
437
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,720
Since when did you become a scam artist?
438
00:20:26,800 --> 00:20:28,600
Yeah, mate, listen, I'm Superwog.
439
00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:30,400
I actually sold you the shoes you got on.
440
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,120
Ahhh! Help, help!
441
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:33,480
Please, I'm sorry, forgive me!
442
00:20:33,560 --> 00:20:35,760
-I'll never do this again.
-Shut up!
443
00:20:35,840 --> 00:20:39,240
Underworld fakes dealer Ming is one
of the country's most-wanted men.
444
00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:43,720
This morning, I was a free man,
and now, thanks to you,
445
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:46,040
I'm working for the fucking police!
446
00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,240
-I'll get you!
-[laughs]
32637
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof