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1
00:00:25,208 --> 00:00:28,875
Thirty days ago,
our world shattered.
2
00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:33,208
Our beloved father left us
to the world of truth.
3
00:00:33,291 --> 00:00:35,416
The Gemara teaches
in maseches shabbos
4
00:00:35,500 --> 00:00:38,458
that only 30 days
after the passing,
5
00:00:38,541 --> 00:00:41,333
as long as flesh remains
on the body,
6
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:43,958
anything said to the niftar
7
00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,125
will be heard by him
8
00:00:46,958 --> 00:00:50,041
until his fate is sealed.
9
00:00:51,125 --> 00:00:55,000
So today, on the thirtieth day,
10
00:00:56,541 --> 00:00:58,208
we would like to tell you,
Father,
11
00:01:00,208 --> 00:01:01,375
we're sorry.
12
00:01:02,875 --> 00:01:04,833
Sorry if we ever offended you.
13
00:01:06,125 --> 00:01:08,083
Sorry if we ever hurt you.
14
00:01:09,291 --> 00:01:12,958
Everything we did,
we did in your honor.
15
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:27,916
Okay.
16
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:31,833
So, where were we?
17
00:01:33,291 --> 00:01:34,726
Who made the final call?
18
00:01:34,750 --> 00:01:36,750
Arye for the top
of the gravestone,
19
00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:38,000
and Mom for the bottom.
20
00:01:38,083 --> 00:01:39,458
Ah, got it.
21
00:01:41,416 --> 00:01:43,791
"Loved and loving."
22
00:01:43,875 --> 00:01:45,500
Yeah. What's the problem
with that?
23
00:01:45,583 --> 00:01:47,458
No, just... Nothing.
24
00:01:47,541 --> 00:01:50,041
Just that neither is true.
25
00:01:50,125 --> 00:01:52,708
What do you care if that's how
she wants to remember it?
26
00:01:54,041 --> 00:01:56,125
Yeah. Who cares about the truth?
27
00:01:57,333 --> 00:01:58,958
I really appreciate the offer,
Poli.
28
00:01:59,041 --> 00:02:00,601
- No.
- I mean, I hope you know that.
29
00:02:00,625 --> 00:02:02,791
Of course you appreciate it.
30
00:02:02,875 --> 00:02:05,458
- It's a great offer. Yes.
- You know me.
31
00:02:05,541 --> 00:02:07,541
Do you really think
I'm gonna change my mind?
32
00:02:10,333 --> 00:02:12,208
How much do you make
in your consulting work?
33
00:02:12,291 --> 00:02:13,833
- Poli!
- Why? What's wrong?
34
00:02:13,916 --> 00:02:16,500
- That is none of your business.
- Baby, telling you,
35
00:02:16,583 --> 00:02:17,958
- it's a terrible waste.
- Stop it.
36
00:02:18,041 --> 00:02:20,041
You're the best
product manager in America.
37
00:02:20,125 --> 00:02:21,708
- Mm-hmm.
- And I'm offering you here
38
00:02:21,791 --> 00:02:23,208
an amazing start up. Not some...
39
00:02:23,291 --> 00:02:25,041
- I know.
- Fucking corporate gig.
40
00:02:25,125 --> 00:02:26,291
It's a hell of a ride.
41
00:02:27,291 --> 00:02:29,166
That's what always
turned you on.
42
00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:33,250
Doesn't turn me on anymore.
43
00:02:33,333 --> 00:02:34,666
Mm-hmm.
44
00:02:36,083 --> 00:02:37,541
I don't believe that.
45
00:02:37,625 --> 00:02:39,476
- A drive like that doesn't...
- How are you guys
doing here?
46
00:02:39,500 --> 00:02:41,142
- Mind if I clear some plates?
- Yeah, thanks.
47
00:02:41,166 --> 00:02:43,226
And would you be
interested in any dessert today?
48
00:02:43,250 --> 00:02:45,166
Yeah, sure. Why not?
What do you...
-No.
49
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:47,125
Sorry.
50
00:02:47,208 --> 00:02:48,851
You know,
why don't I give you guys
51
00:02:48,875 --> 00:02:50,791
- a minute, okay?
- Okay. Yeah.
52
00:02:50,875 --> 00:02:53,375
- Sorry. Did you want something?
- No, it's okay.
53
00:02:53,458 --> 00:02:55,541
- I just...
- Do you mean you don't want anything?
54
00:02:55,625 --> 00:02:58,958
Well, it's just, uh, I
have to leave 'cause, uh,
55
00:02:59,041 --> 00:03:00,916
Ava's got a dentist
appointment soon.
56
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,250
Ah, okay. Okay.
No problem. Uh...
57
00:03:07,333 --> 00:03:10,166
So, how about tonight?
58
00:03:12,833 --> 00:03:15,375
Can't tonight. I have Ava.
59
00:03:15,458 --> 00:03:16,666
Jonathan's out of town.
60
00:03:16,750 --> 00:03:19,666
Okay. Well, can't
you get a babysitter?
61
00:03:20,708 --> 00:03:22,375
I try not to do
that on the nights
62
00:03:22,458 --> 00:03:23,916
that I have her with me.
63
00:03:26,375 --> 00:03:28,041
Got it. Okay.
64
00:03:28,125 --> 00:03:30,333
- Whenever you guys are ready.
- Uh-huh.
65
00:03:41,291 --> 00:03:42,666
Will you stay for coffee?
66
00:03:45,541 --> 00:03:48,125
Uh, I have to get back. I can't.
67
00:03:49,125 --> 00:03:50,791
I'm sorry.
68
00:03:50,875 --> 00:03:52,583
Why don't you
stay one more night
69
00:03:52,666 --> 00:03:54,250
and leave first thing
tomorrow morning?
70
00:03:54,333 --> 00:03:55,583
Mom, I can't.
71
00:03:56,583 --> 00:03:58,125
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
watch out, watch out.
72
00:03:58,208 --> 00:04:00,059
- Slow down, slow down.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry. Okay.
73
00:04:00,083 --> 00:04:01,726
Okay. Slow down.
74
00:04:01,750 --> 00:04:03,309
Sorry, sorry, sorry.
75
00:04:03,333 --> 00:04:05,708
Okay. Just drive a
little slower, okay?
76
00:04:08,958 --> 00:04:10,918
- I'm still not used to driving.
- Yeah.
77
00:04:11,041 --> 00:04:12,916
Your father hardly ever let me.
78
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:16,458
And I always really liked it.
79
00:04:19,375 --> 00:04:21,625
So, that's a
silver lining, right?
80
00:04:21,708 --> 00:04:23,333
What? What do you mean?
81
00:04:23,416 --> 00:04:25,333
No, no, nothing.
82
00:04:25,916 --> 00:04:27,333
What nothing?
83
00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:32,166
I mean, it's just... I
think it's okay to...
84
00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:36,458
I don't know. To recognize
the positive aspects of...
85
00:04:38,375 --> 00:04:40,291
not living with him
anymore, you know,
86
00:04:40,375 --> 00:04:42,375
not always worrying
what Dad thinks.
87
00:04:42,458 --> 00:04:43,708
What?
88
00:04:43,791 --> 00:04:46,458
Do you think I'm supposed to
be happy your father is dead?
89
00:04:46,541 --> 00:04:49,083
No, I didn't say
that. Did I say that?
90
00:04:49,166 --> 00:04:50,916
No, I'm saying that I...
91
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:53,541
Look, he wasn't the
easiest guy to live with.
92
00:04:53,625 --> 00:04:56,083
Right? Let's say he was
very free with his judgments.
93
00:04:56,166 --> 00:04:57,208
So what?
94
00:04:57,291 --> 00:04:59,708
He had high standards,
especially for himself.
95
00:04:59,791 --> 00:05:00,871
Oh, Mom, come on.
96
00:05:00,916 --> 00:05:02,708
Most of the time you
were just scared of him.
97
00:05:02,791 --> 00:05:04,125
- Scared?
- Yeah, you were scared.
98
00:05:04,208 --> 00:05:05,684
You were scared that
he was gonna accuse you
99
00:05:05,708 --> 00:05:07,948
- of some mortal...
- Yonatan, where is this coming from?
100
00:05:08,625 --> 00:05:10,000
Why are you talking like this?
101
00:05:10,083 --> 00:05:11,809
What's wrong with talking?
102
00:05:11,833 --> 00:05:13,458
Maybe if you and Dad
spoke more, then...
103
00:05:13,541 --> 00:05:14,666
We spoke a lot.
104
00:05:14,750 --> 00:05:16,630
We had five children, we
had a household to run.
105
00:05:16,708 --> 00:05:18,726
- All right.
- What, you think we didn't speak?
106
00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:19,976
- Okay.
- So cut it out.
107
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,583
I'm just saying that you
spent many, many years
108
00:05:22,666 --> 00:05:24,833
living with someone
you didn't love, okay?
109
00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:26,356
Not to mention,
you know, attraction.
110
00:05:26,416 --> 00:05:27,333
What?
111
00:05:27,416 --> 00:05:28,767
I just don't want
you to feel guilty
112
00:05:28,791 --> 00:05:30,375
about feeling the
tiniest bit relieved.
113
00:05:30,458 --> 00:05:32,000
Well, I'm not relieved.
114
00:05:32,083 --> 00:05:34,601
- Okay.
- Would you like to force me to feel relieved?
115
00:05:34,625 --> 00:05:36,958
- Okay.
- I loved your father.
116
00:05:38,666 --> 00:05:40,666
Yes, yes.
117
00:05:40,750 --> 00:05:42,541
Maybe not by your standards.
118
00:05:42,625 --> 00:05:44,666
All right. Well,
I'm not interested
119
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,041
in having a fight
with you, okay?
120
00:05:46,125 --> 00:05:47,125
Mmm.
121
00:05:47,166 --> 00:05:49,125
- I'm just saying...
- I'm not.
122
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:53,875
Before you disrespect
what I had with your father,
123
00:05:53,958 --> 00:05:55,625
- think hard...
- Mm-hmm?
124
00:05:55,708 --> 00:05:57,541
About whether you
did everything you could
125
00:05:57,625 --> 00:06:01,000
to stay together, you
know, to get sholom bayis.
126
00:06:01,083 --> 00:06:03,833
All right. Stay
together for the kids.
127
00:06:03,916 --> 00:06:05,392
- And even if so...
- The kids.
128
00:06:05,416 --> 00:06:07,333
What's so wrong about that?
129
00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:10,458
What? Is that anything
to look down on?
130
00:06:10,541 --> 00:06:12,041
You don't think
that's important?
131
00:06:12,125 --> 00:06:14,583
A kid will always want
his parents to stay together
132
00:06:14,666 --> 00:06:16,142
- even if it's not...
- Uh, first of all,
133
00:06:16,166 --> 00:06:18,059
- definitely not always.
- All those people
134
00:06:18,083 --> 00:06:19,625
who say, "Oh, if I'm happy,
135
00:06:19,708 --> 00:06:21,625
then my kid will be happy too,"
136
00:06:21,708 --> 00:06:24,125
that is nonsense.
137
00:06:24,208 --> 00:06:27,125
Get a divorce, fine.
But don't lie to yourself.
138
00:06:32,041 --> 00:06:35,416
I really... I'm just savoring
every moment with her, you know.
139
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,458
The years go so
fast, and now we have
140
00:06:37,541 --> 00:06:39,583
these amazing nights
together. There's...
141
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:42,208
- We watch movies, and...
- Are you seeing someone?
142
00:06:42,875 --> 00:06:45,166
What? No.
143
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:47,666
Yeah, I think you are.
144
00:06:47,750 --> 00:06:49,875
Well, I'm not, so.
145
00:06:49,958 --> 00:06:52,458
And I have a feeling
I know who it is, too.
146
00:06:54,166 --> 00:06:55,500
I'm not seeing anybody,
147
00:06:55,583 --> 00:06:57,625
and I'm not planning
on it anytime soon.
148
00:06:59,083 --> 00:07:00,166
Is it Ackerman?
149
00:07:00,958 --> 00:07:03,291
What? No, of course not.
150
00:07:03,375 --> 00:07:05,541
I think it
is. And honestly,
151
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,434
I always knew it was going
to happen at some point.
152
00:07:07,458 --> 00:07:09,250
All right. Well, it's
not Ackerman. It's...
153
00:07:09,333 --> 00:07:11,458
I mean, it's not
anyone, actually, so.
154
00:07:11,541 --> 00:07:14,250
Okay. Whatever. Fair enough.
155
00:07:15,041 --> 00:07:16,125
This is me.
156
00:07:18,250 --> 00:07:20,625
Okay. Well, uh...
157
00:07:21,291 --> 00:07:22,541
Good luck with him.
158
00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:26,375
I give it a year max.
159
00:07:26,458 --> 00:07:28,375
- Okay, I'll...
- Then you leave him too.
160
00:07:28,458 --> 00:07:29,708
Okay.
161
00:07:30,958 --> 00:07:34,000
You know, sometimes I just...
162
00:07:34,083 --> 00:07:36,583
I just wish I hadn't
met you at all.
163
00:07:36,666 --> 00:07:39,458
- I didn't spend all these years on...
- Poli, stop.
164
00:07:39,541 --> 00:07:41,708
Someone who doesn't
understand what it means
165
00:07:41,791 --> 00:07:42,833
to be in a relationship.
166
00:07:42,916 --> 00:07:44,559
You're saying things
that you don't mean. Stop.
167
00:07:44,583 --> 00:07:47,500
And what living
together actually means. Family.
168
00:07:51,333 --> 00:07:55,125
Okay, well... I'm running late.
169
00:08:01,583 --> 00:08:02,916
Bye, Poli.
170
00:09:05,791 --> 00:09:07,625
- Hello?
- Hey, Mom.
171
00:09:07,708 --> 00:09:09,791
- Hey, honey. How you doing?
- Good.
172
00:09:09,875 --> 00:09:14,291
Josie's mom wanted me to
check if I can watch a PG-13 movie.
173
00:09:14,375 --> 00:09:16,583
Well, I'm doing great.
Thanks for asking.
174
00:09:16,666 --> 00:09:18,000
Mom.
175
00:09:18,083 --> 00:09:19,416
Yeah, of course you can.
176
00:09:19,500 --> 00:09:23,333
That's what I told her,
but she wanted me to ask. Mom?
177
00:09:23,416 --> 00:09:26,166
Um, tell her thank you for
checking and, you know,
178
00:09:26,250 --> 00:09:27,650
if you could also
remind her that...
179
00:09:27,708 --> 00:09:30,250
We're about to have
dinner, so I can't really talk.
180
00:09:30,333 --> 00:09:33,791
Okay... Yeah, but hon...
Okay, just remember, you know,
181
00:09:33,875 --> 00:09:35,333
I have a meeting
that's really late,
182
00:09:35,416 --> 00:09:36,833
so, um, if you need anything,
183
00:09:36,916 --> 00:09:39,916
- just have her text me and...
- I know. You told me.
184
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,000
- Oh, Mom?
- Yes, honey?
185
00:09:42,083 --> 00:09:45,041
Can I go to
sleep at 9:30, please?
186
00:09:45,125 --> 00:09:47,083
- Okay.
- 'Cause Josie's bedtime is 9:30.
187
00:09:47,166 --> 00:09:49,666
Um, Josie's a
little older than you.
188
00:09:49,750 --> 00:09:50,833
Mom.
189
00:09:50,916 --> 00:09:52,958
But, um...
190
00:09:53,833 --> 00:09:56,000
uh, yeah, sure, you can.
191
00:09:56,083 --> 00:09:58,250
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
192
00:09:58,333 --> 00:09:59,973
Please try to get some
sleep though, okay?
193
00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:01,208
Okay, love you, bye.
194
00:10:01,291 --> 00:10:03,791
Okay, love you...
195
00:10:04,708 --> 00:10:06,458
- Hey.
- Hey.
196
00:10:10,666 --> 00:10:12,041
Is she with Veronica?
197
00:10:12,125 --> 00:10:13,458
No, she's with Josie. It's...
198
00:10:13,541 --> 00:10:14,767
- Oh, right, right, right.
- Yeah, yeah.
199
00:10:14,791 --> 00:10:16,267
- She's over the moon, though.
- Yeah.
200
00:10:16,291 --> 00:10:19,791
- Sleepover on a school night.
- Oh, wow. Yeah, I bet. I mean...
201
00:10:19,875 --> 00:10:21,458
How's your mom?
202
00:10:21,541 --> 00:10:23,000
Uh, she's good, she's good.
203
00:10:23,083 --> 00:10:25,791
Yeah, it ended up being a
little harder than I expected
204
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:27,355
- to leave, so...
- That's okay.
205
00:10:27,416 --> 00:10:28,851
I mean, you could
have stayed. It's...
206
00:10:28,875 --> 00:10:30,708
- No, no, no, don't...
- I texted you that...
207
00:10:30,791 --> 00:10:32,375
No way, no way.
208
00:10:36,458 --> 00:10:38,708
- Shall we get going?
- Yes, let's do it.
209
00:10:50,875 --> 00:10:53,041
You know,
when, um, I was leaving,
210
00:10:53,125 --> 00:10:55,541
Arye said, "Happy Purim."
211
00:10:55,625 --> 00:10:57,541
- Is today Purim?
- Sunday.
212
00:10:57,875 --> 00:10:58,958
Oh.
213
00:10:59,041 --> 00:11:01,333
So you know... You
know what that means?
214
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:03,750
Mm-mmm.
215
00:11:03,833 --> 00:11:05,375
Our anniversary.
216
00:11:05,458 --> 00:11:06,916
What? What are
you talking about?
217
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,458
Our anniversary was,
uh, September 2nd.
218
00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:12,583
Not... not of our wedding.
219
00:11:12,666 --> 00:11:14,625
Of the first time we...
220
00:11:18,166 --> 00:11:19,291
you know.
221
00:11:19,375 --> 00:11:20,875
- After the emergency room.
- Right.
222
00:11:20,958 --> 00:11:22,041
After my asthma attack.
223
00:11:22,125 --> 00:11:23,625
How do you even
remember that date?
224
00:11:23,708 --> 00:11:25,375
- Because it was Purim.
- Okay.
225
00:11:25,458 --> 00:11:27,000
And I was over at Hoffman's.
226
00:11:27,083 --> 00:11:28,583
We were drinking
ourselves to death.
227
00:11:28,666 --> 00:11:30,958
And that's... that's how
the whole thing started.
228
00:11:32,916 --> 00:11:34,833
I thought maybe...
229
00:11:34,916 --> 00:11:36,756
You know what? Would
you make a left turn here?
230
00:11:36,791 --> 00:11:37,851
No, it's actually further down.
231
00:11:37,875 --> 00:11:40,750
No, I know, but
just make a left here.
232
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:44,250
Is the place... is the surprise
you were talking to me about?
233
00:11:45,125 --> 00:11:46,875
Left.
234
00:11:46,958 --> 00:11:49,666
- Okay, mister.
- Right here.
235
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,458
Actually, you know what?
236
00:11:55,541 --> 00:11:57,416
Pull over right here.
237
00:11:57,500 --> 00:11:59,875
You're not gonna kidnap
and murder me, are you?
238
00:11:59,958 --> 00:12:01,500
Just pull over.
239
00:12:12,833 --> 00:12:14,458
Can I open my eyes now?
240
00:12:16,041 --> 00:12:17,291
Not yet.
241
00:12:23,666 --> 00:12:24,875
Well?
242
00:12:31,708 --> 00:12:33,250
Almost there.
243
00:12:43,083 --> 00:12:44,250
Open your eyes.
244
00:12:53,708 --> 00:12:55,166
Surprise.
245
00:13:02,166 --> 00:13:03,833
Yeah, so...
246
00:13:03,916 --> 00:13:05,750
I kind of became
obsessed with the house.
247
00:13:05,833 --> 00:13:06,833
Okay.
248
00:13:06,875 --> 00:13:08,958
And I've been driving
by it on my way to work
249
00:13:09,041 --> 00:13:12,333
and on my way
back just to see it.
250
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:14,000
I know it's...
251
00:13:14,083 --> 00:13:16,791
I know. It's very
sentimental of me.
252
00:13:16,875 --> 00:13:19,000
- It's very nice.
- Yeah.
253
00:13:19,083 --> 00:13:22,541
So, um, anyway, uh,
when my parents visited,
254
00:13:22,625 --> 00:13:27,041
uh, last Hanukkah, I went
on Airbnb to find a place
255
00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:31,458
for them to stay and
suddenly, our house popped up.
256
00:13:32,791 --> 00:13:33,791
Huh.
257
00:13:33,875 --> 00:13:36,875
Yeah, I guess they rent it out
258
00:13:36,958 --> 00:13:39,583
when they go on
vacation or whatever.
259
00:13:39,666 --> 00:13:44,875
So, um... so I signed
up for, uh, alerts.
260
00:13:46,750 --> 00:13:48,583
So, are they on vacation now?
261
00:13:48,666 --> 00:13:50,333
I guess so. Yeah.
262
00:13:55,500 --> 00:13:56,958
So what do you say?
263
00:13:59,708 --> 00:14:01,041
- Yeah.
- Yeah?
264
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:02,125
Mm-hmm.
265
00:14:02,458 --> 00:14:03,458
Okay.
266
00:14:22,708 --> 00:14:23,833
So...
267
00:14:26,375 --> 00:14:29,041
- there's a lockbox...
- Okay.
268
00:14:29,125 --> 00:14:31,791
Somewhere. Ah, here it is.
269
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:37,583
Four, oh, five...
270
00:14:49,500 --> 00:14:50,500
Okay.
271
00:15:07,250 --> 00:15:08,416
Thank you.
272
00:16:26,875 --> 00:16:29,125
- Boys.
- Crazy, huh?
273
00:16:31,583 --> 00:16:33,208
What do you think, like...
274
00:16:34,250 --> 00:16:37,500
seven and ten?
275
00:16:37,583 --> 00:16:40,000
Yeah, something like that.
Yeah.
276
00:16:40,708 --> 00:16:42,125
What's that smell?
277
00:16:45,166 --> 00:16:46,541
Dead body?
278
00:16:46,625 --> 00:16:47,875
Oh.
279
00:16:47,958 --> 00:16:49,083
What is it?
280
00:16:49,166 --> 00:16:50,375
Hockey stink.
281
00:16:51,666 --> 00:16:53,708
It's worse.
282
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,291
Sweet.
283
00:17:07,791 --> 00:17:10,000
I guess this one
they couldn't really improve.
284
00:17:11,958 --> 00:17:13,791
They kept the light fixtures.
285
00:17:14,125 --> 00:17:15,291
Yeah.
286
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,833
No smoking, no pets,
287
00:17:25,791 --> 00:17:30,000
- no parties or events.
- Mm.
288
00:17:38,041 --> 00:17:39,083
Huh.
289
00:17:40,875 --> 00:17:42,833
Is that included in the rental?
290
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,958
I'll get them a new one.
291
00:17:49,375 --> 00:17:51,125
You're such a rebel.
292
00:17:52,500 --> 00:17:53,625
That's me.
293
00:18:00,666 --> 00:18:01,791
Thanks.
294
00:18:03,625 --> 00:18:05,791
Happy anniversary.
295
00:18:06,625 --> 00:18:08,166
Happy anniversary.
296
00:18:14,291 --> 00:18:16,500
Seventeen years.
297
00:18:17,250 --> 00:18:18,791
Can you believe it?
298
00:18:20,208 --> 00:18:21,208
Yeah.
299
00:18:27,500 --> 00:18:30,625
Well, my parents celebrated
their 53rd-year anniversary
300
00:18:30,708 --> 00:18:31,708
this year.
301
00:18:32,666 --> 00:18:34,333
That's... That's crazy.
302
00:18:40,916 --> 00:18:41,916
What?
303
00:18:46,375 --> 00:18:48,750
Just, I got in a
fight with my mom.
304
00:18:48,833 --> 00:18:50,750
But I kinda picked
the fight with her.
305
00:18:50,833 --> 00:18:54,000
For some reason I was
trying to get her to admit
306
00:18:54,083 --> 00:18:55,916
that her marriage
had been terrible.
307
00:18:56,958 --> 00:18:58,416
You...
308
00:18:58,500 --> 00:19:00,833
It's amazing how you
always become like a little boy
309
00:19:00,916 --> 00:19:03,000
- around your mom.
- I know. I don't know why.
310
00:19:03,083 --> 00:19:05,125
- Why?
- I don't know why.
311
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:07,750
- Don't know why I did that.
- Mm-hmm.
312
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:14,166
At least we talked, you
know. Like really talked.
313
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000
Yeah.
314
00:19:18,750 --> 00:19:21,541
Well, I'm sure she must
be so proud of you right now.
315
00:19:21,625 --> 00:19:23,458
Yeah, in her own way.
316
00:19:25,583 --> 00:19:28,416
Elisheva told me that
she watched my TED Talk
317
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:29,916
- like six times.
- Really?
318
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,875
But she'd never
tell me that, though.
319
00:19:31,958 --> 00:19:33,541
And I can't tell her I know.
320
00:19:33,625 --> 00:19:35,250
You know how that
whole dance goes.
321
00:19:37,750 --> 00:19:38,916
Yeah, I know.
322
00:19:40,666 --> 00:19:41,666
Yeah.
323
00:19:42,375 --> 00:19:44,083
She says hi, by the way.
324
00:19:45,833 --> 00:19:47,458
- Come on.
- It's true.
325
00:19:52,250 --> 00:19:53,250
What?
326
00:19:55,083 --> 00:19:57,708
You think she suspects
something about the two of us?
327
00:19:58,375 --> 00:20:00,333
- About us?
- Yeah.
328
00:20:00,416 --> 00:20:02,166
- Seriously?
- Yeah.
329
00:20:02,250 --> 00:20:04,833
No way. No, no, no,
seriously, no way.
330
00:20:04,916 --> 00:20:06,416
How can you be so sure?
331
00:20:07,125 --> 00:20:08,541
- Because...
- Mmm.
332
00:20:08,625 --> 00:20:12,125
Nothing could seem
more far-fetched than this.
333
00:20:12,208 --> 00:20:16,250
It's completely outside
her spectrum of possibilities.
334
00:20:16,333 --> 00:20:17,958
Mm-hmm.
335
00:20:18,041 --> 00:20:23,791
And, uh, so when she saw us
go up to your old room together
336
00:20:23,875 --> 00:20:27,750
when I visited a month
ago after your father died...
337
00:20:27,833 --> 00:20:29,625
- Mm-hmm.
- That...
338
00:20:29,708 --> 00:20:31,541
What? No, it's
totally acceptable
339
00:20:31,625 --> 00:20:34,666
for children to have guests
in their old room during Shiva.
340
00:20:35,041 --> 00:20:36,041
Right.
341
00:20:36,125 --> 00:20:39,250
And, um, when she
knocked on the door
342
00:20:40,083 --> 00:20:41,708
and you didn't answer it?
343
00:20:43,541 --> 00:20:47,791
She thought I was sleeping.
I asked her afterwards. I did.
344
00:20:47,875 --> 00:20:50,083
- I'm not convinced.
- I'm telling you,
345
00:20:50,166 --> 00:20:54,125
if I could never
imagine this happening,
346
00:20:54,208 --> 00:20:55,625
there's no way she could.
347
00:20:58,750 --> 00:21:00,291
What did you imagine?
348
00:21:02,833 --> 00:21:04,375
When you came to Shiva?
349
00:21:09,458 --> 00:21:11,178
Honestly, I was just
trying to hide the fact
350
00:21:11,250 --> 00:21:13,750
that I had a massive
boner in front of everybody.
351
00:21:14,583 --> 00:21:16,750
I know.
352
00:21:16,833 --> 00:21:18,458
I felt it when you hugged me.
353
00:21:18,541 --> 00:21:21,291
- I wanted you to feel it.
- Oh, my God.
354
00:21:25,875 --> 00:21:30,458
And then, when you asked
me to go upstairs with you,
355
00:21:30,541 --> 00:21:34,083
I felt that all the eyes in
the house were watching us
356
00:21:34,166 --> 00:21:36,666
and they knew exactly
what was about to happen.
357
00:21:36,750 --> 00:21:39,458
Mmm. What did that do to you?
358
00:21:40,875 --> 00:21:42,541
It made me wet.
359
00:21:51,291 --> 00:21:52,791
It' was so crazy.
360
00:21:55,416 --> 00:22:00,208
In the middle of all
that family shit and grief.
361
00:22:03,041 --> 00:22:05,708
And after all that time,
you coming in there like that,
362
00:22:05,791 --> 00:22:08,625
like... like an apparition.
363
00:22:11,416 --> 00:22:13,500
Well, I know. I
saw it on your face.
364
00:22:29,875 --> 00:22:32,583
They're really, like, making
me angry, you know?
365
00:22:32,666 --> 00:22:34,000
Yeah, I get that.
366
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:36,750
- It's not ugly.
- No.
367
00:22:36,833 --> 00:22:38,250
They did a nice job, but like...
368
00:22:39,625 --> 00:22:42,083
how dare they, you know?
369
00:22:42,166 --> 00:22:43,208
Uh-huh.
370
00:22:45,791 --> 00:22:47,916
Still, it's better than
a hotel room, right?
371
00:22:49,083 --> 00:22:52,166
I don't know. I kind
of like a hotel room.
372
00:22:53,125 --> 00:22:54,458
- Really?
- Yeah.
373
00:22:55,791 --> 00:22:56,875
Something about it's like,
374
00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:59,458
it is what it is and
it's not what it's not.
375
00:23:03,333 --> 00:23:04,500
Yeah, maybe.
376
00:23:13,833 --> 00:23:18,500
So... anything going on?
377
00:23:19,791 --> 00:23:21,125
What's happening?
378
00:23:21,208 --> 00:23:22,416
What could be happening?
379
00:23:23,208 --> 00:23:24,833
Are you seeing anyone?
380
00:23:26,750 --> 00:23:29,000
- Since last week?
- Yeah.
381
00:23:29,083 --> 00:23:32,083
Any promising dates?
Anything you wanna...
382
00:23:32,166 --> 00:23:33,500
- No.
- Take further?
383
00:23:33,583 --> 00:23:35,791
I told you I don't want
anything serious right now.
384
00:23:38,208 --> 00:23:40,166
- Why not?
- Okay. I have to say,
385
00:23:40,250 --> 00:23:41,976
you're getting a little
obsessed with the subject
386
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:45,083
and I'm, uh, asking
myself what that is about.
387
00:23:45,166 --> 00:23:47,416
No, nothing. I'm just...
I'm trying to grasp
388
00:23:47,500 --> 00:23:50,000
- the concept here.
- But what concept?
389
00:23:50,083 --> 00:23:54,000
Being alone. This whole
"I'm better off alone" thing.
390
00:23:54,083 --> 00:23:56,541
It's not a concept. I'm
just happy this way.
391
00:23:58,875 --> 00:24:01,958
Okay. Not totally buying it.
392
00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:06,583
Right, you used to always
panic whenever I would talk
393
00:24:06,666 --> 00:24:08,250
about being alone.
394
00:24:08,333 --> 00:24:12,041
Yeah. You saw it as a sign
that, um, I was in a bad way,
395
00:24:12,125 --> 00:24:14,791
but reality is, I just...
396
00:24:14,875 --> 00:24:17,791
It was something that
I felt like I was missing.
397
00:24:17,875 --> 00:24:21,416
You know, I'd never
really even expected
398
00:24:21,500 --> 00:24:23,041
that I'd ever get married.
399
00:24:23,125 --> 00:24:24,791
Yeah, I remember.
400
00:24:26,625 --> 00:24:28,041
Even with you.
401
00:24:28,375 --> 00:24:29,500
I know.
402
00:24:30,583 --> 00:24:32,708
That night when
you proposed and...
403
00:24:32,791 --> 00:24:35,041
- Mm-hmm. Talked.
- All night...
404
00:24:35,125 --> 00:24:36,458
- That's right.
- About it.
405
00:24:37,916 --> 00:24:41,416
Then the next morning, I
went to go see my mom.
406
00:24:41,500 --> 00:24:45,625
I don't actually... I don't know
if I told you much about this.
407
00:24:45,708 --> 00:24:47,333
- I don't think so.
- Um...
408
00:24:48,250 --> 00:24:50,208
it was in, uh, Back Bay.
409
00:24:50,291 --> 00:24:52,500
She was living
nearby with Julian.
410
00:24:52,583 --> 00:24:54,916
- Mm-hmm.
- Her third husband.
411
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:56,375
I'm not sure if
you even met him.
412
00:24:56,458 --> 00:24:58,250
Yeah, I think I did.
I think I did once.
413
00:24:58,333 --> 00:24:59,958
Okay. Well, they
split up soon after.
414
00:25:00,041 --> 00:25:02,333
Anyway, she, um, she was like...
415
00:25:04,041 --> 00:25:05,250
"Don't do it."
416
00:25:05,833 --> 00:25:07,166
Don't do what?
417
00:25:07,250 --> 00:25:08,416
Don't get married.
418
00:25:09,166 --> 00:25:10,875
- She said that?
- Yeah.
419
00:25:10,958 --> 00:25:13,250
"Jonathan's a good guy.
420
00:25:13,333 --> 00:25:14,916
Best guy you've ever been with."
421
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:16,541
- Obviously.
- Mm-hmm.
422
00:25:16,625 --> 00:25:18,916
"Probably the best
guy you'll ever be with."
423
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,125
Wow, Mom, okay.
424
00:25:21,208 --> 00:25:23,333
"But you know you're not
cut out for getting married.
425
00:25:23,416 --> 00:25:25,583
You don't have that gene."
426
00:25:25,666 --> 00:25:27,708
She said, "I don't have
it, your father certainly
427
00:25:27,791 --> 00:25:29,471
doesn't have it, so
why would you have it?"
428
00:25:34,500 --> 00:25:36,333
I mean, this is...
This is the woman
429
00:25:36,416 --> 00:25:38,458
- that dragged you along on her trysts...
- Yeah.
430
00:25:38,541 --> 00:25:40,267
When you were five
years old, so I don't think
431
00:25:40,291 --> 00:25:42,208
really the person
to listen to, right?
432
00:25:43,416 --> 00:25:45,250
Well, obviously, I didn't.
433
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:51,958
No, I was gonna prove her
wrong, gonna prove it to myself.
434
00:25:52,041 --> 00:25:54,625
So I, you know, spent my life
435
00:25:54,708 --> 00:25:56,541
trying to prove
that I was different.
436
00:25:57,833 --> 00:25:59,375
And that I was
gonna make it last.
437
00:26:07,041 --> 00:26:08,416
It didn't last.
438
00:26:13,250 --> 00:26:14,791
So maybe she was right.
439
00:26:15,375 --> 00:26:16,500
She's right?
440
00:26:16,583 --> 00:26:19,000
Yeah. Right about the gene?
441
00:26:19,083 --> 00:26:21,041
The monogamy gene?
442
00:26:21,125 --> 00:26:22,833
No, it's just maybe...
443
00:26:25,041 --> 00:26:26,791
maybe it's not right for me.
444
00:26:28,625 --> 00:26:31,000
So what, does it mean
that you're doomed?
445
00:26:31,291 --> 00:26:32,333
No.
446
00:26:33,625 --> 00:26:35,625
Jonathan, I'm not doomed.
447
00:26:38,583 --> 00:26:40,791
I wonder if it's hard for you
to understand because...
448
00:26:42,875 --> 00:26:45,041
you really can't be alone.
449
00:26:45,125 --> 00:26:47,375
I mean, you never could.
450
00:26:47,458 --> 00:26:49,958
You always needed
like, I don't know, a...
451
00:26:52,000 --> 00:26:54,208
witness to your life.
452
00:26:58,250 --> 00:27:00,250
- Witness?
- Yeah.
453
00:27:00,333 --> 00:27:02,083
- Okay.
- Yeah. Someone who's constantly,
454
00:27:02,166 --> 00:27:04,458
you know, seeing you, and...
455
00:27:04,541 --> 00:27:07,208
I mean, like, keeping a record.
456
00:27:07,666 --> 00:27:10,416
Hmm. Okay.
457
00:27:12,583 --> 00:27:14,708
No, did I hurt your feelings?
458
00:27:14,791 --> 00:27:16,708
No, no, no. No, no, I didn't...
459
00:27:16,791 --> 00:27:18,916
I didn't
realize I was such a burden.
460
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,750
You're not. You weren't.
461
00:27:22,125 --> 00:27:24,541
- It's not personal, you know.
- Okay.
462
00:27:25,958 --> 00:27:29,250
I really think most women
feel this way about men.
463
00:27:29,333 --> 00:27:30,333
Hmm.
464
00:27:31,625 --> 00:27:32,625
Yeah.
465
00:27:36,125 --> 00:27:41,166
I mean, I haven't been
single since I was 15 years old,
466
00:27:41,250 --> 00:27:42,916
- you know what I mean?
- Mm-hmm.
467
00:27:43,958 --> 00:27:45,250
I realized...
468
00:27:47,750 --> 00:27:49,375
it's kind of refreshing.
469
00:28:15,958 --> 00:28:17,166
You okay?
470
00:28:20,291 --> 00:28:22,625
- Something's off.
- Yeah.
471
00:28:23,958 --> 00:28:25,375
- It's just so weird.
- Yeah.
472
00:28:25,458 --> 00:28:29,333
It's so weird to be here again.
473
00:28:36,666 --> 00:28:37,875
You okay?
474
00:28:37,958 --> 00:28:39,625
Yeah. It's nothing serious.
475
00:28:45,083 --> 00:28:48,083
Maybe it was a bad
idea to come here?
476
00:28:48,166 --> 00:28:50,958
No, I really am happy
you brought me here.
477
00:28:51,041 --> 00:28:54,375
Yeah? - No,
it was a really nice thought.
478
00:28:54,458 --> 00:28:56,250
Yeah, maybe it's just the day.
479
00:28:57,000 --> 00:28:59,041
- Uh-huh.
- It's just so much.
480
00:29:00,958 --> 00:29:02,916
Yeah.
481
00:29:03,000 --> 00:29:06,166
Yeah, maybe we should
have, uh, yeah, postponed it, so.
482
00:29:09,500 --> 00:29:12,500
- Let me get my, uh...
- Sure.
483
00:29:12,583 --> 00:29:13,875
Be right back.
484
00:31:31,500 --> 00:31:33,291
Fuck.
485
00:31:41,750 --> 00:31:43,708
Hey, Jane.
486
00:31:43,791 --> 00:31:46,500
- Jonathan.
- Hi, baby.
487
00:31:46,583 --> 00:31:49,750
Oh. You only speak to
me when you're, like, really tired.
488
00:31:49,833 --> 00:31:53,125
No, yeah,
I'm still up. I'm still up.
489
00:31:53,208 --> 00:31:55,750
I'm just talking quietly 'cause
Mom fell asleep already.
490
00:31:55,833 --> 00:31:57,166
Oh.
491
00:31:57,250 --> 00:31:59,250
- Yeah.
- So sorry. Is she okay?
492
00:31:59,333 --> 00:32:01,416
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
she's fine. It's just...
493
00:32:01,500 --> 00:32:04,458
you know, the whole
thing at the ceremony
494
00:32:04,541 --> 00:32:06,500
was really draining for her.
495
00:32:06,583 --> 00:32:08,208
Oh, God. Are you okay?
496
00:32:08,291 --> 00:32:09,750
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
497
00:32:09,833 --> 00:32:11,875
Yeah. Well, you know
how it is. It's like the...
498
00:32:11,958 --> 00:32:15,458
being at the cemetery, and
then going to an empty house,
499
00:32:15,541 --> 00:32:17,000
it was a lot for her.
500
00:32:21,416 --> 00:32:26,208
Uh, yes, taking the 6:30
train out of Valley Stream
501
00:32:26,291 --> 00:32:28,791
than the Amtrak
from Penn Station.
502
00:32:29,583 --> 00:32:31,000
Okay.
503
00:32:31,083 --> 00:32:33,083
- Yep.
- So, um...
504
00:32:35,708 --> 00:32:36,958
Is he up?
505
00:32:37,041 --> 00:32:38,666
Okay, he's right there with you?
506
00:32:38,750 --> 00:32:41,041
Yeah, he wants to say hi.
507
00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:42,750
Okay. Yeah. Just, uh...
508
00:32:44,666 --> 00:32:46,916
Trying to connect here.
509
00:32:49,375 --> 00:32:50,541
Okay.
510
00:32:51,708 --> 00:32:52,791
Okay.
511
00:32:53,833 --> 00:32:55,875
Oh, hello.
512
00:32:55,958 --> 00:32:57,916
- Hi.
- Hi.
513
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:01,708
- Say Hi.
- Hey, Ethan.
514
00:33:01,791 --> 00:33:05,000
Oh, Bubba, why are you awake?
515
00:33:05,083 --> 00:33:07,625
He was growing
some teeth. Encouraging.
516
00:33:08,416 --> 00:33:10,375
What's up now, where are you?
517
00:33:10,458 --> 00:33:12,125
Uh, I'm in the bathroom.
518
00:33:13,583 --> 00:33:15,750
- What?
- I'm in the bathroom.
519
00:33:16,125 --> 00:33:17,166
Okay.
520
00:33:17,250 --> 00:33:20,083
Look, Ethan, can you
show Daddy your new trick?
521
00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:21,625
Can you... What does a dog say?
522
00:33:21,708 --> 00:33:22,708
Woof.
523
00:33:22,791 --> 00:33:24,083
- Woof.
- Woof. Woof?
524
00:33:24,166 --> 00:33:25,750
- Yeah.
- Oh, my gosh.
525
00:33:25,833 --> 00:33:27,250
He just did that today?
526
00:33:29,458 --> 00:33:31,958
He's just, like, wants to party?
527
00:33:32,041 --> 00:33:36,375
He's like sleeping
and eating because...
528
00:33:36,458 --> 00:33:38,500
I mean, he's
living the life. Um...
529
00:33:38,583 --> 00:33:41,333
Oh, man.
530
00:33:42,166 --> 00:33:43,958
It's tough, huh? Sorry.
531
00:33:45,125 --> 00:33:46,208
I love you.
532
00:33:46,291 --> 00:33:48,250
- Okay. I love you too. - Bye.
533
00:33:48,333 --> 00:33:50,625
- Lila tov, bubbelah.
- Lila tov.
534
00:33:50,708 --> 00:33:52,375
Say "lila tov," bye.
535
00:33:52,458 --> 00:33:53,708
Okay, baby.
536
00:33:53,791 --> 00:33:55,666
- Okay, I'm gonna try to...
- Lila tov.
537
00:33:56,500 --> 00:33:57,708
- Bye, coocoo.
- Bye.
538
00:33:57,791 --> 00:33:59,458
Bye. Bye, cooties.
539
00:33:59,541 --> 00:34:02,250
- Bye. Love to your mom, okay?
- Okay. Thanks, sweetie.
540
00:34:02,333 --> 00:34:03,500
Okay.
541
00:34:29,041 --> 00:34:31,000
Oh, my God.
542
00:34:32,208 --> 00:34:35,125
- Wow!
- I know, right?
543
00:34:35,833 --> 00:34:37,875
Oh, my God.
544
00:34:37,958 --> 00:34:40,166
Can you imagine
this as Ava's room?
545
00:34:40,250 --> 00:34:42,625
No way, we would have
taken it for ourselves.
546
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:45,041
Look at this.
547
00:34:45,125 --> 00:34:47,000
Is this what you
imagined back then?
548
00:34:47,083 --> 00:34:50,458
Well, yeah, not this big,
but... yeah, something like that.
549
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,916
So this is what I
missed out on, huh?
550
00:34:54,000 --> 00:34:55,625
Well, you could
have done it yourself.
551
00:34:56,083 --> 00:34:58,708
Yes. True.
552
00:35:08,958 --> 00:35:10,208
Cute.
553
00:35:11,416 --> 00:35:12,791
Genius kid.
554
00:35:28,333 --> 00:35:31,250
It is a little over the
top, but I have to say
555
00:35:31,333 --> 00:35:33,625
the effect is undeniable.
556
00:35:53,416 --> 00:35:54,541
You okay?
557
00:35:54,916 --> 00:35:55,833
Yeah.
558
00:35:55,916 --> 00:35:57,875
Yeah, sorry, it
wasn't very serious.
559
00:35:57,958 --> 00:36:00,083
Sorry, I disappeared on you.
560
00:36:02,166 --> 00:36:04,291
Hmm, you got dressed.
561
00:36:06,583 --> 00:36:08,166
You wanted to leave.
562
00:36:11,500 --> 00:36:13,833
Yeah, just for a
second, but it passed.
563
00:36:19,250 --> 00:36:21,083
Who was that on the phone?
564
00:36:22,750 --> 00:36:24,541
- Jane.
- Mmm.
565
00:36:24,625 --> 00:36:25,791
And Ethan.
566
00:36:26,916 --> 00:36:28,916
Everything all right?
567
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,291
Yeah, yeah. They just
wanted to say goodnight.
568
00:36:41,291 --> 00:36:42,458
Guilt.
569
00:36:49,958 --> 00:36:51,291
I don't know.
570
00:36:56,458 --> 00:37:00,875
I think I'm over my obsession
with being a good person,
571
00:37:03,083 --> 00:37:04,333
- you know?
- Mm-hmm.
572
00:37:04,416 --> 00:37:08,583
Constantly checking to make
sure I'm doing the right thing.
573
00:37:11,208 --> 00:37:13,250
I don't really have that
need anymore, for...
574
00:37:14,333 --> 00:37:16,083
moral superiority.
575
00:37:17,333 --> 00:37:19,416
I'm no better than
anybody else. It's okay.
576
00:37:21,500 --> 00:37:22,708
Okay.
577
00:37:24,125 --> 00:37:25,166
What?
578
00:37:26,083 --> 00:37:28,000
Just not totally buying it.
579
00:37:30,375 --> 00:37:32,375
Touchรฉ.
580
00:37:35,375 --> 00:37:37,083
I'm not saying I'm proud of it.
581
00:37:39,041 --> 00:37:41,958
The affairs. But, you know...
582
00:37:42,041 --> 00:37:43,208
Mm-hmm?
583
00:37:43,291 --> 00:37:47,041
I just realized that
there's things that...
584
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,500
I mean, I have
needs that I'm not...
585
00:37:50,583 --> 00:37:53,208
- willing to ignore anymore.
- Mm-hmm.
586
00:37:53,291 --> 00:37:57,875
And, you know,
that's just how it is for me right now.
587
00:37:57,958 --> 00:38:00,333
Just accepting
that. That's okay.
588
00:38:02,208 --> 00:38:03,583
"Affairs," plural?
589
00:38:07,875 --> 00:38:11,625
Yeah, I had... I had
something six months ago.
590
00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:14,208
It was meaningless.
591
00:38:17,291 --> 00:38:21,833
Two somethings if you
count one-night stands,
592
00:38:23,541 --> 00:38:24,916
which I don't, so.
593
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:29,250
Well...
594
00:38:30,708 --> 00:38:34,083
Maybe you have lost
your moral superiority.
595
00:38:34,166 --> 00:38:36,500
That doesn't sound very
good when you say it.
596
00:38:36,583 --> 00:38:38,000
It's like, what?
597
00:38:38,083 --> 00:38:40,208
I'm the last person to judge.
598
00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,625
I didn't want to marry her.
599
00:38:59,000 --> 00:39:01,541
I'm not saying that as a
justification for anything.
600
00:39:01,625 --> 00:39:02,875
It's just the truth.
601
00:39:05,291 --> 00:39:08,750
But we had a really
good time together.
602
00:39:08,833 --> 00:39:12,250
And, you know, sometimes
it's easy to confuse
603
00:39:12,333 --> 00:39:14,000
great sex with love.
604
00:39:14,500 --> 00:39:16,250
Easy for you.
605
00:39:16,333 --> 00:39:18,250
I don't think it's just me.
606
00:39:20,666 --> 00:39:24,083
But she got pregnant.
607
00:39:25,291 --> 00:39:27,041
And, um...
608
00:39:27,125 --> 00:39:30,125
- I really wanted that kid.
- Hmm.
609
00:39:30,208 --> 00:39:32,458
And, you
know, she wanted to get married.
610
00:39:32,541 --> 00:39:34,041
And I just thought, why not?
611
00:39:34,125 --> 00:39:36,000
What's the difference
between living together
612
00:39:36,083 --> 00:39:37,250
and getting married?
613
00:39:37,791 --> 00:39:39,125
So I said yes.
614
00:39:41,958 --> 00:39:43,625
Then Ethan was born.
615
00:39:45,583 --> 00:39:47,791
And he's just... ugh.
616
00:39:51,041 --> 00:39:52,750
That's really great.
617
00:39:52,833 --> 00:39:54,375
The sex is not.
618
00:39:54,458 --> 00:39:55,541
Well...
619
00:39:55,625 --> 00:39:58,500
It's not happening at all.
620
00:39:58,583 --> 00:40:00,333
But that, you know,
since Ethan was born,
621
00:40:00,416 --> 00:40:03,083
so, obviously.
622
00:40:03,166 --> 00:40:06,083
But, um, you know,
we're good. We're good.
623
00:40:07,458 --> 00:40:11,208
It's like we have a
common language.
624
00:40:11,291 --> 00:40:14,125
It's like meeting somebody
that speaks your language.
625
00:40:14,208 --> 00:40:16,083
I realized that she's
the first Jewish woman
626
00:40:16,166 --> 00:40:17,875
that I've dated since college.
627
00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:20,416
- Really?
- Yeah.
628
00:40:20,500 --> 00:40:24,916
Yeah, I didn't... didn't imagine
it would be so significant,
629
00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:30,333
like, knowing the same
songs and idioms, the holidays,
630
00:40:30,416 --> 00:40:33,625
but it's nice. It's comfortable.
631
00:40:37,750 --> 00:40:39,125
Don't you love her?
632
00:40:40,416 --> 00:40:41,541
Hmm.
633
00:40:44,666 --> 00:40:47,791
Yeah. Yeah, in a certain way.
634
00:40:53,875 --> 00:40:55,791
What if she finds out about us?
635
00:41:00,833 --> 00:41:02,416
Um...
636
00:41:06,291 --> 00:41:08,208
I don't know.
637
00:41:08,291 --> 00:41:11,208
I guess I'm just... I'm not
really scared enough...
638
00:41:13,458 --> 00:41:14,750
of splitting up.
639
00:41:16,250 --> 00:41:18,208
In fact, I'm pretty sure
it'll happen eventually.
640
00:41:18,291 --> 00:41:20,375
So I don't really have
any illusions about that.
641
00:41:30,750 --> 00:41:33,250
I'll never love anybody
the way that I loved you.
642
00:41:37,541 --> 00:41:39,333
- It's a fact.
- Hmm.
643
00:41:41,666 --> 00:41:45,375
With you, breaking up
was just never on the table.
644
00:41:45,458 --> 00:41:46,916
Just never even occurred to me.
645
00:41:50,750 --> 00:41:54,166
So it's just, it's different,
entirely different kind of love.
646
00:41:56,166 --> 00:42:00,250
I remember someone said
it was like a piece of tape
647
00:42:00,333 --> 00:42:02,458
that you rip off
and try to reapply...
648
00:42:05,041 --> 00:42:06,333
that'll stick again maybe,
649
00:42:06,416 --> 00:42:09,000
but it's never going
to be like the first time.
650
00:42:12,875 --> 00:42:14,875
It's really sad,
what you're saying.
651
00:42:14,958 --> 00:42:16,208
I don't know. I don't think so.
652
00:42:16,291 --> 00:42:18,750
I think it's okay to have
different kinds of love.
653
00:42:18,833 --> 00:42:20,083
That's okay.
654
00:42:25,250 --> 00:42:27,166
What?
655
00:42:27,625 --> 00:42:28,833
What?
656
00:42:28,916 --> 00:42:30,851
Just don't act like it's cool,
you're never gonna love again.
657
00:42:30,875 --> 00:42:32,041
It's not that s...
658
00:42:32,583 --> 00:42:33,791
I didn't say that.
659
00:42:33,875 --> 00:42:35,458
I mean I'm here
with you, aren't I?
660
00:42:35,541 --> 00:42:37,000
It's different with me. I mean,
661
00:42:37,083 --> 00:42:39,125
- it's not the same, obviously.
- Why?
662
00:42:39,208 --> 00:42:41,708
Because we've been...
663
00:42:43,166 --> 00:42:44,958
through the worst that
could happen. I mean,
664
00:42:45,041 --> 00:42:47,291
there's nothing to be
afraid of anymore with me.
665
00:42:47,375 --> 00:42:49,375
Yeah, okay, so
maybe that's just...
666
00:42:49,458 --> 00:42:51,750
That's exactly what
works for me now.
667
00:42:51,833 --> 00:42:53,458
- For us.
- God, Jonathan.
668
00:42:53,541 --> 00:42:54,958
What? What?
669
00:42:56,333 --> 00:42:59,583
Can't you see we're
both just so fucked up?
670
00:42:59,666 --> 00:43:02,125
We've barely even started
getting over what happened to us
671
00:43:02,208 --> 00:43:03,750
- and...
- Yeah, well, it takes time.
672
00:43:03,833 --> 00:43:05,625
Yeah, but it's been four years.
673
00:43:05,708 --> 00:43:09,083
We just keep coming up with
all these solutions and like...
674
00:43:10,208 --> 00:43:11,750
Why does it take
so long to break up?
675
00:43:11,833 --> 00:43:14,125
And why does no one
talk about the fact that
676
00:43:14,208 --> 00:43:16,458
it's this fucking
endless trauma?
677
00:43:19,583 --> 00:43:21,458
Well, it...
678
00:43:21,541 --> 00:43:24,833
It is second on the list of
most stressful life events.
679
00:43:26,625 --> 00:43:27,958
Before moving.
680
00:43:33,000 --> 00:43:34,875
After death of a loved one.
681
00:43:38,416 --> 00:43:40,375
So...
682
00:43:40,458 --> 00:43:42,916
So we should have
a Shiva of our own?
683
00:43:44,291 --> 00:43:45,458
To mourn?
684
00:43:47,541 --> 00:43:48,583
Yes.
685
00:43:54,750 --> 00:43:57,208
We won't leave the
house for seven days.
686
00:44:00,375 --> 00:44:02,750
Everyone will come
and console us.
687
00:44:02,833 --> 00:44:03,875
Mm-hmm.
688
00:44:05,083 --> 00:44:08,791
And we won't eat
meat or drink wine.
689
00:44:08,875 --> 00:44:11,333
- Mm-hmm.
- Or shower.
690
00:44:12,833 --> 00:44:14,416
I can work with that.
691
00:44:15,750 --> 00:44:18,458
We won't cut our hair or shave.
692
00:44:21,750 --> 00:44:22,750
Done.
693
00:44:24,041 --> 00:44:25,375
No sex.
694
00:44:27,000 --> 00:44:28,916
What? That's forbidden too?
695
00:44:30,083 --> 00:44:31,125
Totally.
696
00:46:34,708 --> 00:46:36,250
What is it? What's wrong?
697
00:46:39,208 --> 00:46:40,500
Did you have a nightmare?
698
00:46:42,750 --> 00:46:45,125
- What was it?
- Oh, God...
699
00:46:49,791 --> 00:46:51,166
We were driving.
700
00:46:57,375 --> 00:46:58,916
Oh, fuck.
701
00:47:13,958 --> 00:47:15,625
Oh, my God.
702
00:47:18,166 --> 00:47:20,083
Oh, fuck.
703
00:47:21,958 --> 00:47:23,208
What?
704
00:47:26,375 --> 00:47:27,750
We were, um...
705
00:47:29,000 --> 00:47:33,250
We were driving to
Lawrence to see my parents
706
00:47:33,333 --> 00:47:36,916
and, um, Ava was with us.
707
00:47:39,541 --> 00:47:42,083
We were on the highway.
708
00:47:42,166 --> 00:47:44,666
There was an accident
and there was terrible traffic
709
00:47:44,750 --> 00:47:47,208
for miles and miles, and so I...
710
00:47:47,291 --> 00:47:50,458
I said to you, "Let's
go back home on foot."
711
00:47:50,541 --> 00:47:53,375
But we had to cross
to the other lane.
712
00:47:53,458 --> 00:47:55,708
- And you and Ava crossed.
- Mm-hmm.
713
00:47:55,791 --> 00:47:58,541
But I didn't... I couldn't...
You had to push the cars
714
00:47:58,625 --> 00:48:00,291
- to get through them.
- Mm-hmm.
715
00:48:00,375 --> 00:48:03,458
Like, you had to physically
push them away from each other.
716
00:48:03,541 --> 00:48:05,833
But it... but it turns out
I didn't have any hands.
717
00:48:05,916 --> 00:48:08,875
I just had like stumps, like,
nothing from the elbows down.
718
00:48:08,958 --> 00:48:11,833
So like, I... it was impossible
for me to reach you guys.
719
00:48:11,916 --> 00:48:14,291
Oh, I'm sorry.
720
00:48:17,041 --> 00:48:18,291
Hey, come here.
721
00:48:19,541 --> 00:48:20,708
It's cold.
722
00:48:37,208 --> 00:48:38,708
Hmm.
723
00:48:42,041 --> 00:48:43,875
You want some water?
724
00:48:43,958 --> 00:48:45,541
- No.
- No?
725
00:48:49,041 --> 00:48:50,958
You know, I could
make us some coffee.
726
00:48:51,041 --> 00:48:52,666
Maybe it's time that
we get up anyway.
727
00:48:52,750 --> 00:48:55,375
No, don't go, don't go
anywhere. Just stay. Just stay.
728
00:48:55,458 --> 00:48:56,500
Okay.
729
00:48:56,583 --> 00:48:57,791
Just stay.
730
00:49:01,916 --> 00:49:03,708
Do you remember anything else?
731
00:49:03,791 --> 00:49:05,458
I'm trying to remember.
732
00:49:09,333 --> 00:49:11,500
You know, yesterday...
733
00:49:13,291 --> 00:49:16,041
- My mom has this notebook...
- Mm-hmm.
734
00:49:16,125 --> 00:49:18,750
Where she wrote
down a bunch of things
735
00:49:18,833 --> 00:49:22,125
when I was little,
like, you know,
736
00:49:22,208 --> 00:49:26,708
anecdotes and medical
stuff, and dreams.
737
00:49:26,791 --> 00:49:27,875
That's really sweet.
738
00:49:27,958 --> 00:49:29,875
Yeah, we were looking
at it together yesterday.
739
00:49:31,166 --> 00:49:33,958
And there was this one
time that she wrote about
740
00:49:34,041 --> 00:49:36,166
when I woke up in
the middle of the night,
741
00:49:36,250 --> 00:49:37,767
I was like three years
old or something, and...
742
00:49:37,791 --> 00:49:39,166
- Mm-hmm.
- I came into the room
743
00:49:39,250 --> 00:49:41,791
and I was just standing
there in the middle of the room
744
00:49:41,875 --> 00:49:43,291
and I said, "I can't sleep.
745
00:49:43,375 --> 00:49:45,375
All my dreams
are really boring."
746
00:49:47,625 --> 00:49:49,583
And I said to her
yesterday, I was like,
747
00:49:49,666 --> 00:49:52,333
"You got it back then, right?
You got... you understood
748
00:49:52,416 --> 00:49:57,375
that 'boring' actually
meant scary, right?"
749
00:49:58,625 --> 00:50:00,265
And she said, "What
are you talking about?
750
00:50:00,291 --> 00:50:03,250
No, you were so cute, no,
you didn't look scared at all."
751
00:50:07,125 --> 00:50:10,250
She just was incapable of...
752
00:50:12,416 --> 00:50:13,708
She couldn't...
753
00:50:22,375 --> 00:50:24,125
Sometimes, I feel...
754
00:50:27,083 --> 00:50:29,708
like I'm not sure if
I have the ability...
755
00:50:34,916 --> 00:50:36,833
like if I've ever really...
756
00:50:39,500 --> 00:50:41,375
truly loved anyone.
757
00:50:44,708 --> 00:50:47,958
Or if I've ever
really been loved.
758
00:50:48,041 --> 00:50:49,916
Okay, now you're being dramatic.
759
00:50:53,041 --> 00:50:54,541
- Am I?
- Yes.
760
00:50:57,416 --> 00:50:58,750
I love you.
761
00:51:00,458 --> 00:51:03,041
And I always have, in my own...
762
00:51:04,291 --> 00:51:06,458
deranged way.
763
00:51:09,416 --> 00:51:14,083
And you love me in your
own complicated way.
764
00:51:15,416 --> 00:51:17,416
And you'll always love me.
765
00:51:52,500 --> 00:51:54,458
"In the middle of the night,
766
00:51:57,041 --> 00:51:59,166
without any fanfare,
767
00:52:00,166 --> 00:52:04,083
in a dark house
somewhere in the world."
768
00:52:07,541 --> 00:52:08,875
What's that?
769
00:52:10,166 --> 00:52:12,833
Mmm, it's from a movie.
770
00:52:14,625 --> 00:52:15,791
Hmm.
771
00:52:44,333 --> 00:52:47,291
- Okay. Let's cut.
- All right, we cut.
772
00:52:51,000 --> 00:52:52,458
Here you are, guys.
773
00:55:28,190 --> 00:55:30,190
>>>>oakislandtk<<<<<
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