Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:00,174 --> 00:00:01,469
Previously, on Moonshine...
2
00:00:01,493 --> 00:00:02,558
We're all dead.
3
00:00:05,949 --> 00:00:07,349
What the hell is going on?
4
00:00:07,351 --> 00:00:10,352
This isn't a crime scene;
It's my build site!
5
00:00:10,354 --> 00:00:12,420
That wasn't a fake pirate skull.
6
00:00:12,423 --> 00:00:13,688
That was Jimmy!
7
00:00:13,757 --> 00:00:16,424
We can get through this. We're family.
8
00:00:16,460 --> 00:00:18,827
We're supposed to have
each other's backs.
9
00:00:18,829 --> 00:00:21,629
You're selfish, and crazy,
and I hate you!
10
00:00:21,665 --> 00:00:25,700
You made my cancer scare about you!
11
00:00:25,702 --> 00:00:28,703
"Dear El and Finn,
I'm sorry for not being
12
00:00:28,839 --> 00:00:31,772
"a proper role model
you both could look up to.
13
00:00:31,809 --> 00:00:34,075
"I don't want to be
a bad influence anymore,
14
00:00:34,111 --> 00:00:35,977
"so I'm going away for a bit."
15
00:00:45,923 --> 00:00:47,122
Well, here I am, folks,
16
00:00:47,257 --> 00:00:48,723
bringing you yesterday's hits
17
00:00:48,792 --> 00:00:51,326
from the armpit of Atlantic Canada.
18
00:00:51,395 --> 00:00:54,662
Now, do I miss my swank LA pad,
19
00:00:54,698 --> 00:00:57,732
complete with a sweet view
of my shirtless actor neighbour?
20
00:00:57,801 --> 00:00:59,101
I sure do!
21
00:00:59,236 --> 00:01:01,469
But them's the breaks, folks, okay?
22
00:01:01,505 --> 00:01:03,738
I got shit-canned from my job.
23
00:01:03,807 --> 00:01:07,142
Now, was I gonna let
some spray-tanned poser
24
00:01:07,144 --> 00:01:09,143
in a fancy sports car stop me
25
00:01:09,145 --> 00:01:11,146
from exploiting my sister's pain?
26
00:01:11,215 --> 00:01:14,015
Hellz to the no!
27
00:01:14,151 --> 00:01:18,219
Sooo... from the chain-smoking wino
28
00:01:18,221 --> 00:01:19,821
who brought you
milk crate confessionals,
29
00:01:19,857 --> 00:01:23,191
produced by Soundmaus...
suck my twat...
30
00:01:23,260 --> 00:01:28,362
welcome to breaking blonde,
produced by me.
31
00:01:28,498 --> 00:01:31,299
Sit back, pack that bowl,
32
00:01:31,434 --> 00:01:34,702
and let me spin you a yarn
about how my big sister's
33
00:01:34,771 --> 00:01:39,040
spiritual and emotional
armageddon helped me,
34
00:01:39,109 --> 00:01:40,842
Nora Finley-Cullen,
35
00:01:40,911 --> 00:01:45,780
finally figure out how to deal
with my own imminent demise...
36
00:02:00,764 --> 00:02:04,332
Now, how did our favourite
New York architect wind up here?
37
00:02:04,401 --> 00:02:06,735
Well, allow me to elucidate.
38
00:02:06,870 --> 00:02:09,070
But first...
39
00:02:09,139 --> 00:02:13,275
A message from our sponsor,
Rocky's Roadhouse...
40
00:02:13,410 --> 00:02:17,545
So much more than just
a terrifying place to pee.
41
00:02:29,059 --> 00:02:32,193
Our story begins
not in a pile of ass-crap,
42
00:02:32,262 --> 00:02:35,530
like you'd expect,
but in a pile of hay.
43
00:02:35,532 --> 00:02:36,898
Eleanor hates me.
44
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,033
Not that I blame her;
I'm a terrible mother.
45
00:02:39,069 --> 00:02:40,434
Rhian and Nora want me dead.
46
00:02:40,470 --> 00:02:42,182
Not that I blame them;
I'm a terrible sister.
47
00:02:42,206 --> 00:02:44,706
And despite my vow to stay
out of the family business,
48
00:02:44,708 --> 00:02:46,908
I've somehow single-handedly
ensured the destruction
49
00:02:46,910 --> 00:02:49,577
of our ancestral home. Oh, God.
50
00:02:49,613 --> 00:02:52,514
I thought it wouldn't sound
as bad if I said it out loud.
51
00:02:52,516 --> 00:02:54,582
You know, when people
blow their lives up,
52
00:02:54,651 --> 00:02:58,853
it usually means
they're missing something.
53
00:02:58,889 --> 00:03:02,190
Or someone.
54
00:03:10,434 --> 00:03:12,500
Oh!
55
00:03:13,971 --> 00:03:16,604
I could get used to being... farm girl.
56
00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:19,140
Well, I know you'd look
damn hot in a pair of overalls.
57
00:03:20,510 --> 00:03:22,410
But we can't stay here for long
58
00:03:22,479 --> 00:03:24,446
because the cops are
gonna be lookin' for you.
59
00:03:24,448 --> 00:03:26,748
If they can find me.
60
00:03:26,817 --> 00:03:28,016
Tin foil!
61
00:03:28,085 --> 00:03:30,818
Very effective signal-blocker.
62
00:03:30,854 --> 00:03:33,488
Turns out there is an online
forum thread for everything.
63
00:03:33,557 --> 00:03:35,457
But when the cops
can't track your signal,
64
00:03:35,592 --> 00:03:37,626
they're gonna put
an APB out on your car.
65
00:03:37,761 --> 00:03:39,995
The cops find you,
the Marauders find me.
66
00:03:40,130 --> 00:03:43,565
Dirty cops are a biker gang's
bread and butter.
67
00:03:43,567 --> 00:03:46,567
The "motorcycle enthusiast"
you turned in?
68
00:03:46,637 --> 00:03:48,503
Now I've got a bounty on my head.
69
00:03:48,572 --> 00:03:50,305
Hence the secret
truffle honey hideaway.
70
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:53,408
- Shit.
- It's okay.
71
00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:55,109
I've got an exit plan.
72
00:03:55,178 --> 00:03:56,778
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
73
00:03:56,913 --> 00:03:58,046
Cabo?
74
00:03:58,115 --> 00:03:59,480
I love Cabo!
75
00:03:59,549 --> 00:04:01,382
A few margaritas 'til
the heat dies down?
76
00:04:01,418 --> 00:04:03,918
Panama.
77
00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,553
No extradition.
78
00:04:07,824 --> 00:04:09,858
Panama?
79
00:04:09,993 --> 00:04:12,794
Huh.
80
00:04:12,796 --> 00:04:15,130
Cute hats.
81
00:04:18,268 --> 00:04:19,801
Ooh, where are we going?
82
00:04:19,936 --> 00:04:22,403
Please don't say Cabo. I hate Cabo.
83
00:04:22,439 --> 00:04:25,005
We're not going anywhere.
84
00:04:25,042 --> 00:04:27,008
Ah, okay.
85
00:04:27,143 --> 00:04:29,043
This is statement packing.
86
00:04:29,112 --> 00:04:30,444
Yes, actually, it is.
87
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,881
Uh-huh, and the statement is,
88
00:04:33,016 --> 00:04:35,616
"Gee, Nora, I wish you'd put
my feelings before your own
89
00:04:35,652 --> 00:04:38,286
"because I'm clearly a selfish dick"?
90
00:04:38,288 --> 00:04:40,088
Okay, fine!
91
00:04:40,157 --> 00:04:42,490
Maybe I should have told you
about the health stuff,
92
00:04:42,625 --> 00:04:43,970
but that would have freaked you out,
93
00:04:43,994 --> 00:04:46,494
which would have freaked me out
even more than I already am!
94
00:04:46,496 --> 00:04:47,729
Well, it did freak me out!
95
00:04:47,798 --> 00:04:49,198
The whole thing has me freaked out.
96
00:04:49,332 --> 00:04:51,266
I'm supposed to be the person
that you depend on,
97
00:04:51,401 --> 00:04:52,633
that you lean on!
98
00:04:52,703 --> 00:04:54,781
Yeah, well, unfortunately,
my sister got there first, okay?
99
00:04:54,805 --> 00:04:56,037
And she had a tranq gun!
100
00:04:56,039 --> 00:04:58,072
Ugh, this whole family is poison.
101
00:04:58,141 --> 00:04:59,574
I don't disagree.
102
00:04:59,643 --> 00:05:02,710
Because of Lidia, IA pulled my badge.
103
00:05:02,713 --> 00:05:05,113
I'm as good as fired.
104
00:05:07,183 --> 00:05:08,916
Okay. I mean...
105
00:05:08,952 --> 00:05:12,587
If it makes you feel any better,
Lidia got me fired too.
106
00:05:12,656 --> 00:05:14,388
Can you believe she refused to confirm
107
00:05:14,424 --> 00:05:16,224
that she's an irredeemable hot mess?
108
00:05:16,359 --> 00:05:18,793
On the upside,
109
00:05:18,829 --> 00:05:21,662
things can go back to normal now.
110
00:05:21,664 --> 00:05:26,634
Small town, poorly paid DJ
with a hot cop fetish?
111
00:05:28,305 --> 00:05:30,705
No, Nora.
112
00:05:30,707 --> 00:05:33,474
Maybe you're not hearing me.
I'm not a cop anymore.
113
00:05:33,543 --> 00:05:36,010
I need time.
114
00:05:36,146 --> 00:05:37,611
To think.
115
00:05:37,647 --> 00:05:39,947
Are you seriously leaving
a maybe-dying woman
116
00:05:39,983 --> 00:05:41,516
with blue balls?!
117
00:05:41,518 --> 00:05:43,918
Terry!
118
00:05:54,331 --> 00:05:55,497
Oof.
119
00:05:59,102 --> 00:06:01,969
You gonna leave
any room for the driver?
120
00:06:02,038 --> 00:06:04,305
Grief makes a woman cherish
her sweat pant collection.
121
00:06:04,374 --> 00:06:05,540
Don't worry...
122
00:06:05,675 --> 00:06:08,676
I'm the Tetris master of packing.
123
00:06:08,712 --> 00:06:12,213
We're gonna have to cut that off.
124
00:06:12,215 --> 00:06:13,581
Uh...
125
00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:16,451
I feel my new identity
needs both her feet?
126
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,786
Leg up, hot stuff.
127
00:06:24,161 --> 00:06:27,361
I mean, when you
actually do the shit pile math,
128
00:06:27,397 --> 00:06:29,264
all roads lead back to Lidia.
129
00:06:29,266 --> 00:06:31,533
Look at this pig-sty.
130
00:06:31,668 --> 00:06:33,801
Even the couch has an STD.
131
00:06:33,804 --> 00:06:35,603
She effs him over,
132
00:06:35,639 --> 00:06:37,137
and now I'm left paying the price?!
133
00:06:37,174 --> 00:06:41,442
Just when I thought she couldn't
screw up any more...
134
00:06:41,478 --> 00:06:43,878
What?
135
00:06:44,013 --> 00:06:45,880
You've got to be kidding me.
136
00:06:46,015 --> 00:06:47,415
She's gone?
137
00:06:47,417 --> 00:06:49,751
And she's left us to clean up
this family nightmare.
138
00:06:49,753 --> 00:06:51,159
Oh, no, no. No, no, no.
139
00:06:51,184 --> 00:06:52,197
This is not happening.
140
00:06:52,222 --> 00:06:54,355
I have a plan to drag her back, okay?
141
00:06:54,357 --> 00:06:55,890
Think lady bounty hunters.
142
00:06:55,926 --> 00:06:58,158
One is sexy and lactating.
143
00:06:58,195 --> 00:06:59,195
The other is you.
144
00:06:59,329 --> 00:07:01,161
Except dressed
in full-coverage riot gear
145
00:07:01,198 --> 00:07:02,297
in case things go south.
146
00:07:02,432 --> 00:07:04,699
Okay, I can get behind this.
She hit the road.
147
00:07:04,834 --> 00:07:05,834
We'll hit it harder.
148
00:07:05,902 --> 00:07:07,568
Because what's worse
than doing hard time?
149
00:07:07,604 --> 00:07:09,370
Yeah, getting chased down
and curb-stomped
150
00:07:09,439 --> 00:07:10,571
by your sisters!
151
00:07:10,607 --> 00:07:13,241
- Booyakasha!
- Yes, huh!
152
00:07:13,243 --> 00:07:14,341
Ow!
153
00:07:14,477 --> 00:07:16,189
The french baguette has been added
154
00:07:16,213 --> 00:07:19,313
to the UN's heritage list,
baguette being described as
155
00:07:19,349 --> 00:07:22,650
"a cherished tradition
to be preserved by humanity."
156
00:07:22,652 --> 00:07:23,796
The french government is planning
157
00:07:23,820 --> 00:07:24,919
a national baguette day.
158
00:07:25,054 --> 00:07:26,754
And that is the world this hour.
159
00:07:26,756 --> 00:07:28,188
I'm Joe Cummings.
160
00:07:28,225 --> 00:07:30,225
There are some at the UN climate talks
161
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,458
looking for a way...
162
00:07:31,495 --> 00:07:33,261
Kind of imagined
we'd be hitting the road
163
00:07:33,330 --> 00:07:35,563
in something a little... faster.
164
00:07:35,698 --> 00:07:36,731
Hm.
165
00:07:36,800 --> 00:07:38,532
Like that muscle car
in Thelma and Louise.
166
00:07:38,568 --> 00:07:41,054
Oh! Or the convertible
in La Dolce Vita!
167
00:07:41,079 --> 00:07:42,236
Too conspicuous.
168
00:07:42,272 --> 00:07:43,272
Right.
169
00:07:43,339 --> 00:07:44,872
I gotta say,
170
00:07:44,941 --> 00:07:47,408
the best thing about
not being a biker anymore
171
00:07:47,544 --> 00:07:52,547
is I can finally get excited
about eco-friendly cars.
172
00:07:52,616 --> 00:07:54,282
Okay.
173
00:07:54,351 --> 00:07:58,686
Our, uh, spontaneous
escape will also be
174
00:07:58,755 --> 00:08:01,289
a journey of discovery.
175
00:08:01,424 --> 00:08:02,757
We'll finally have the time to
176
00:08:02,892 --> 00:08:04,892
get to know each other's true selves.
177
00:08:04,928 --> 00:08:07,295
Our likes and dislikes.
178
00:08:07,430 --> 00:08:08,530
Your real name.
179
00:08:08,665 --> 00:08:10,031
If you like kids.
180
00:08:10,100 --> 00:08:12,900
Oh, crap.
181
00:08:12,903 --> 00:08:14,335
Okay.
182
00:08:16,473 --> 00:08:17,638
What... what are you doing?
183
00:08:17,674 --> 00:08:20,074
Oh, I'm just reminding Finn
if he wants to get out of
184
00:08:20,143 --> 00:08:21,453
bunking with God's gift to woodwinds,
185
00:08:21,477 --> 00:08:23,811
he has to get in that request
before the deadline.
186
00:08:23,947 --> 00:08:25,113
- Give me that, please.
- Hey!
187
00:08:25,115 --> 00:08:26,514
No texting and driving.
188
00:08:26,583 --> 00:08:28,316
Whoa!
189
00:08:31,654 --> 00:08:33,287
Where the hell did she go?
190
00:08:33,290 --> 00:08:35,923
She's terrible at secrets.
There's gotta be a clue.
191
00:08:35,992 --> 00:08:38,325
Wish she'd picked up toilet paper.
192
00:08:38,361 --> 00:08:40,127
But I did find this.
193
00:08:40,163 --> 00:08:41,696
Whoa!
194
00:08:41,831 --> 00:08:45,666
Gale...?
195
00:08:45,802 --> 00:08:47,134
That little man-slut!
196
00:08:47,170 --> 00:08:50,671
Exactly how she got that ankle
monitor in the first place.
197
00:08:51,874 --> 00:08:53,908
I'm stoked you called me in,
198
00:08:53,910 --> 00:08:55,143
being an intern and all.
199
00:08:55,278 --> 00:08:57,845
Well, with Terry out,
it was pretty slim pickings.
200
00:08:57,847 --> 00:08:59,447
I'll take it. Ma'am.
201
00:08:59,449 --> 00:09:01,082
Go, go, go, go, go, go!
202
00:09:01,084 --> 00:09:04,184
This is the last place
her ankle monitor gave a signal.
203
00:09:14,998 --> 00:09:18,599
Damn you, unethical life hacks.
204
00:09:18,602 --> 00:09:22,036
Kinky, and disturbingly unsanitary.
205
00:09:24,841 --> 00:09:27,575
I know where Lidia is.
206
00:09:27,577 --> 00:09:29,744
She's with Gale Favreau.
207
00:09:29,879 --> 00:09:31,512
Favreau?
208
00:09:31,581 --> 00:09:33,414
That's a lead we can follow.
209
00:09:40,323 --> 00:09:42,390
We have to get to Lidia
before the cops do.
210
00:09:42,525 --> 00:09:45,660
She doesn't deserve
the mercy of a prison cell.
211
00:09:47,397 --> 00:09:50,264
- Come, come, come.
- I'm taking this.
212
00:09:52,802 --> 00:09:54,969
You understand what
we're doing here, right?
213
00:09:54,971 --> 00:09:56,838
Looking for a spot to pee?
214
00:09:56,973 --> 00:09:59,807
Small-town cops are nothing
compared to the Marauders.
215
00:09:59,943 --> 00:10:01,275
They got eyes and ears everywhere.
216
00:10:01,277 --> 00:10:04,611
If we want to get out of this
mess alive, there are rules.
217
00:10:04,648 --> 00:10:06,113
Fugitive no-no's, got it.
218
00:10:06,182 --> 00:10:07,815
- No Internet searches.
- Okay.
219
00:10:07,851 --> 00:10:09,383
- No credit cards.
- Okay, a little harder.
220
00:10:09,386 --> 00:10:11,318
And, for now,
no contact with the people
221
00:10:11,354 --> 00:10:12,619
in our previous lives.
222
00:10:12,656 --> 00:10:15,823
We can't do anything that
will allow them to track us.
223
00:10:18,028 --> 00:10:21,762
So I can't... talk to my kids?
224
00:10:21,831 --> 00:10:23,564
Not yet.
225
00:10:23,633 --> 00:10:25,032
If you make contact with them,
226
00:10:25,101 --> 00:10:28,903
you're gonna put them in danger too.
227
00:10:29,038 --> 00:10:30,237
It's not too late.
228
00:10:30,273 --> 00:10:33,974
If you wanna turn back,
I'll understand.
229
00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:37,311
But either way, we gotta move,
and we gotta move now.
230
00:10:43,720 --> 00:10:45,586
Okay.
231
00:10:45,588 --> 00:10:48,289
I'm good.
232
00:10:55,468 --> 00:10:56,894
God! Oof!
233
00:11:13,983 --> 00:11:15,716
Are they making honey or meth?
234
00:11:15,851 --> 00:11:17,050
Who lives out here?
235
00:11:19,889 --> 00:11:21,689
Is it her?
236
00:11:21,824 --> 00:11:22,923
Oh, no.
237
00:11:22,992 --> 00:11:26,160
It's, uh, just
the stupid health clinic.
238
00:11:26,229 --> 00:11:28,763
You're blowing off your doctor?
239
00:11:28,765 --> 00:11:30,297
Do you know what province you live in?
240
00:11:30,333 --> 00:11:32,166
My GP is the only guy besides Oscar
241
00:11:32,168 --> 00:11:34,035
I'd gladly give a handy to, if asked!
242
00:11:34,170 --> 00:11:35,570
It's just some stupid test results.
243
00:11:35,638 --> 00:11:37,772
Terry conned me
into seeing a fertility doc,
244
00:11:37,841 --> 00:11:40,208
and then Lidia took her hostage.
245
00:11:40,343 --> 00:11:42,210
You're always doing
fun stuff with Lidia.
246
00:11:42,345 --> 00:11:44,712
How did you put up with
Terry and his pushing?
247
00:11:44,781 --> 00:11:46,213
I dunno.
248
00:11:46,249 --> 00:11:49,049
Did you know that he guilted me
into going full Brazilian
249
00:11:49,085 --> 00:11:52,119
our entire marriage?
I'm talking bald, bald.
250
00:11:52,122 --> 00:11:53,387
What?
251
00:11:53,456 --> 00:11:55,790
Now I call Oscar
the bush-whacker 'cause...
252
00:11:55,859 --> 00:11:57,024
Yeah, I got it.
253
00:11:57,093 --> 00:12:00,061
Ugh... got it.
254
00:12:00,196 --> 00:12:02,563
- There! There!
- Oh, yes it is!
255
00:12:02,599 --> 00:12:04,198
- Right?
- Yup!
256
00:12:07,537 --> 00:12:11,605
I feel like we're driving into
a movie of the week from hell.
257
00:12:14,577 --> 00:12:15,876
Geez!
258
00:12:16,012 --> 00:12:17,345
Okay...
259
00:12:19,749 --> 00:12:21,682
Oh...
260
00:12:34,230 --> 00:12:36,664
So this is their
sticky little love nest!
261
00:12:36,799 --> 00:12:37,832
Uh-huh.
262
00:12:37,901 --> 00:12:39,166
Well, we know she's with Gale.
263
00:12:39,235 --> 00:12:42,836
But her tighty-whities sure aren't.
264
00:12:45,574 --> 00:12:46,740
Don't move!
265
00:12:46,810 --> 00:12:49,109
This could be a bomb.
266
00:12:49,245 --> 00:12:50,365
That bitch booby-trapped us.
267
00:12:50,413 --> 00:12:53,114
Uh-huh...
Or a nice juicy ball of hash.
268
00:12:53,116 --> 00:12:55,650
I would be very stoked if
the drug fairy paid us a visit
269
00:12:55,785 --> 00:12:57,751
right about now.
270
00:12:57,787 --> 00:13:00,821
Cle-ver!
271
00:13:00,823 --> 00:13:03,858
- Means she's in the wind.
- Mm-hm.
272
00:13:03,993 --> 00:13:05,859
How the hell are
we gonna find her now?
273
00:13:05,895 --> 00:13:07,261
Are you kidding me?
274
00:13:07,297 --> 00:13:09,508
One pee stop every 15 minutes
times the number of memories
275
00:13:09,532 --> 00:13:10,564
she has to make...
276
00:13:10,633 --> 00:13:12,144
Which means they'll be
taking the old highway.
277
00:13:12,168 --> 00:13:13,533
Worst fugitive ever.
278
00:13:13,570 --> 00:13:15,903
I have an idea.
279
00:13:16,038 --> 00:13:18,105
And it involves a farm animal.
280
00:13:21,010 --> 00:13:22,690
["Brother love's travelling
salvation show"
281
00:13:44,267 --> 00:13:45,267
Ugh!
282
00:14:10,693 --> 00:14:11,993
Yes!
283
00:14:12,128 --> 00:14:15,463
Um... what are you doing?
284
00:14:15,598 --> 00:14:16,931
Mm...
285
00:14:16,933 --> 00:14:21,402
Per your suggestion, I'm cutting
off all ties to my previous life
286
00:14:21,471 --> 00:14:24,138
by releasing
all my worldly possessions
287
00:14:24,207 --> 00:14:26,206
into the ether!
288
00:14:26,276 --> 00:14:28,476
- Not exactly what I said.
- Hm.
289
00:14:28,611 --> 00:14:30,277
Fastest rising tides in the world.
290
00:14:30,346 --> 00:14:33,146
Soon my old life will be gone.
291
00:14:33,182 --> 00:14:34,881
This is symbolic.
292
00:14:34,918 --> 00:14:37,151
A literal metaphor.
293
00:14:37,153 --> 00:14:39,787
I feel free!
294
00:14:39,856 --> 00:14:41,289
Oh!
295
00:14:41,424 --> 00:14:44,625
Goodbye, Nora's new bra that I stole!
296
00:14:44,627 --> 00:14:46,961
Go with the wind!
297
00:14:46,963 --> 00:14:49,196
Ah.
298
00:14:51,567 --> 00:14:52,866
I...
299
00:14:52,902 --> 00:14:55,269
Am with you.
300
00:14:55,271 --> 00:14:57,304
All in.
301
00:14:59,842 --> 00:15:02,376
Mmm.
302
00:15:13,723 --> 00:15:18,125
I love you, Lidia.
303
00:15:18,161 --> 00:15:21,462
I love you too!
304
00:15:21,464 --> 00:15:23,697
But you know what I really love?
305
00:15:23,733 --> 00:15:25,165
Littering?
306
00:15:25,167 --> 00:15:27,435
You, in the flesh,
307
00:15:27,570 --> 00:15:30,003
after all those months
of my plug n' charge.
308
00:15:30,039 --> 00:15:32,139
Before I got honey in the gears, mmm!
309
00:15:32,141 --> 00:15:34,875
Mmm... Mmm!
310
00:15:34,944 --> 00:15:37,144
Yes, meet me in the back seat!
311
00:15:37,146 --> 00:15:39,480
Augh, yes!
312
00:15:48,458 --> 00:15:50,224
I've got reports of a fugitive
313
00:15:50,359 --> 00:15:54,361
on Rural Road 6, over.
314
00:15:54,364 --> 00:15:55,863
The GPS monitor's back on.
315
00:15:55,932 --> 00:15:57,064
She's on the move.
316
00:15:57,066 --> 00:15:58,565
Can I turn on the sirens?
317
00:15:58,634 --> 00:16:01,335
Please, come on...
318
00:16:01,337 --> 00:16:03,170
- Yeah, light 'em up.
- Yeah!
319
00:16:03,305 --> 00:16:05,806
Ha-ha!
320
00:16:05,808 --> 00:16:07,008
Gotcha, Lidia!
321
00:16:07,143 --> 00:16:08,709
Which is it?
322
00:16:08,711 --> 00:16:10,778
Roadside diner or the gas station?
323
00:16:10,847 --> 00:16:12,946
There's no way she could
hold it in this long.
324
00:16:12,982 --> 00:16:14,014
Fun-dy fact!
325
00:16:14,050 --> 00:16:15,615
Did you know the Bay of Fundy
326
00:16:15,651 --> 00:16:18,152
has the fastest
rising tides in the world?
327
00:16:18,287 --> 00:16:20,588
There is a vista up ahead,
Nora, not to be missed!
328
00:16:20,590 --> 00:16:22,256
What is this, a seniors' tour?
329
00:16:22,325 --> 00:16:24,091
Pfft, I wish!
330
00:16:24,226 --> 00:16:26,066
I figured these pamphlets
might give us an idea
331
00:16:26,128 --> 00:16:28,162
on where to track Lidia,
but the truth is,
332
00:16:28,297 --> 00:16:31,598
I've never had time to do any
of this touristy stuff before.
333
00:16:31,634 --> 00:16:35,535
Or anything other than
the Moonshine, really.
334
00:16:35,571 --> 00:16:37,271
Let's make this woman hunt fun!
335
00:16:37,273 --> 00:16:38,406
How about this for fun?
336
00:16:38,541 --> 00:16:40,674
The first one to spot
an annoying blonde
337
00:16:40,676 --> 00:16:45,379
on the back of a motorcycle
gets to run her over.
338
00:16:45,448 --> 00:16:46,814
I know we're both pissed at Lidz,
339
00:16:46,883 --> 00:16:51,284
but you don't have
to be crabby with me.
340
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:52,919
- Is this about the phone call?
- No.
341
00:16:52,955 --> 00:16:55,355
You worried you might be
pregnant with Satan's spawn?
342
00:16:55,391 --> 00:16:58,492
I get it.
343
00:16:58,528 --> 00:16:59,893
Want me to call them back?
344
00:16:59,962 --> 00:17:01,428
No, Rhian! No, no, no.
345
00:17:01,431 --> 00:17:03,964
No, excuse me. Can I...
346
00:17:04,033 --> 00:17:06,700
Come on! Rhian!
347
00:17:06,736 --> 00:17:09,936
I'm worried I might have cancer, okay?
348
00:17:14,911 --> 00:17:16,042
Wow.
349
00:17:16,079 --> 00:17:18,813
You actually care if I die.
350
00:17:18,948 --> 00:17:21,849
I'm not even sure
I care right now, you know?
351
00:17:21,851 --> 00:17:25,252
Rhian, chill.
352
00:17:25,387 --> 00:17:27,388
It's okay, it's okay.
353
00:17:27,523 --> 00:17:30,624
It's probably nothing.
354
00:17:30,626 --> 00:17:32,927
I'm not sad that you might die.
355
00:17:35,098 --> 00:17:37,230
You've never confided in me.
356
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:39,333
Okay. I didn't confide in you.
357
00:17:39,402 --> 00:17:42,069
I was trying to shut you up,
unsuccessfully.
358
00:17:42,138 --> 00:17:46,140
I just feel like you and Lidia
have always been so close.
359
00:17:46,142 --> 00:17:48,008
Sister secrets,
360
00:17:48,044 --> 00:17:50,144
sharing clothes, head lice.
361
00:17:50,146 --> 00:17:55,683
It's like you were always in
this club and I wasn't invited.
362
00:17:55,818 --> 00:17:57,751
Oh!
363
00:17:57,820 --> 00:17:59,120
Fine!
364
00:17:59,255 --> 00:18:02,089
Five minutes
at the stupid scenic overlook.
365
00:18:02,224 --> 00:18:03,802
Might as well take
some hot selfies to post
366
00:18:03,826 --> 00:18:05,559
so Terr can see what he's missing.
367
00:18:07,163 --> 00:18:10,430
So, to recap,
we have two idiot sisters
368
00:18:10,466 --> 00:18:12,366
tracking their bigger idiot sister,
369
00:18:12,435 --> 00:18:13,967
the cops getting their ya-yas out
370
00:18:14,003 --> 00:18:16,904
chasing Betsy the wonder udder...
stay tuned...
371
00:18:16,906 --> 00:18:20,007
and a perimenopausal woman who's
treating her fugitive status
372
00:18:20,076 --> 00:18:22,442
like a friggin' makeover montage.
373
00:18:22,478 --> 00:18:25,379
God.
374
00:18:25,448 --> 00:18:29,383
I used to fantasize about
creating a new identity.
375
00:18:29,518 --> 00:18:31,185
Maybe I'll go with
something under the radar,
376
00:18:31,187 --> 00:18:33,520
totally ordinary, like "Becca."
377
00:18:33,589 --> 00:18:36,390
Although it might be fun
to have a mysterious name.
378
00:18:36,392 --> 00:18:37,991
Something sexy, like...
379
00:18:38,027 --> 00:18:39,426
Céleste.
380
00:18:39,428 --> 00:18:40,794
But if I went with céleste,
381
00:18:40,796 --> 00:18:42,396
I'd definitely need
to go brunette, right?
382
00:18:42,398 --> 00:18:44,698
Where's my duffle?
383
00:18:44,833 --> 00:18:46,033
Uh...
384
00:18:46,168 --> 00:18:48,869
Oh, well, when I was trying
to fit all my stuff in,
385
00:18:49,004 --> 00:18:50,471
I stuck it in one of mine.
386
00:18:50,606 --> 00:18:52,406
One of yours that you threw into
387
00:18:52,475 --> 00:18:54,074
the "fastest rising
tide in the world"?
388
00:18:54,210 --> 00:18:55,475
What was in there?
389
00:18:55,477 --> 00:18:58,045
Those... sexy leather pants?
390
00:18:58,180 --> 00:19:00,046
Our entire stash.
391
00:19:00,082 --> 00:19:02,082
20k!
392
00:19:04,253 --> 00:19:08,289
Uh, total is 60 bucks.
393
00:19:08,424 --> 00:19:10,557
Cool, cool.
394
00:19:13,629 --> 00:19:15,162
Get behind the wheel.
395
00:19:15,231 --> 00:19:19,700
Smile, stay calm, no sudden moves.
396
00:19:26,575 --> 00:19:28,909
Hmm... Aah!
397
00:19:34,450 --> 00:19:36,650
What the hell, dude?
398
00:19:38,788 --> 00:19:40,887
I can't believe I'm finally here!
399
00:19:40,923 --> 00:19:43,790
Terry was always such
a homebody, he hated travelling.
400
00:19:43,826 --> 00:19:46,727
Ugh, tell me about it.
Terry was a disaster in LA.
401
00:19:46,862 --> 00:19:48,495
When I picked him up from the airport,
402
00:19:48,564 --> 00:19:50,609
you would have thought it
was the frickin' moon landing.
403
00:19:50,633 --> 00:19:52,466
Poor wittle Terry. So put out.
404
00:19:52,535 --> 00:19:54,868
Got his curved penis
in a buntline hitch.
405
00:19:54,937 --> 00:19:56,170
Right?
406
00:19:56,305 --> 00:19:58,517
I always had to approach that
thing from a 45-degree angle!
407
00:19:58,541 --> 00:20:00,240
The right side of my abs are cut.
408
00:20:00,243 --> 00:20:01,808
Like, uhh, uhh...
409
00:20:01,844 --> 00:20:02,876
Uhh, uhh!
410
00:20:02,945 --> 00:20:06,346
Oh my God, I know!
411
00:20:12,822 --> 00:20:14,555
You know, we never really...
412
00:20:14,557 --> 00:20:16,156
talked about what happened.
413
00:20:16,291 --> 00:20:19,226
Well, my marriage was
way over before you dropped
414
00:20:19,361 --> 00:20:21,628
your slutty jean shorts.
415
00:20:21,697 --> 00:20:25,299
And besides, I've got Oscar
and the twins now,
416
00:20:25,301 --> 00:20:27,901
and all you've got
is old crooked dick.
417
00:20:29,905 --> 00:20:33,561
You don't think she's really
done something crazy, do you?
418
00:20:33,586 --> 00:20:34,574
Like what?
419
00:20:34,610 --> 00:20:36,076
I don't know.
420
00:20:36,078 --> 00:20:38,846
Just the last time I saw her
I was really pissed, and I...
421
00:20:38,848 --> 00:20:40,581
I said some really mean things.
422
00:20:40,716 --> 00:20:42,115
Like, meaner than...
423
00:20:42,184 --> 00:20:43,650
Normal.
424
00:20:47,823 --> 00:20:51,891
Holy shit!
425
00:20:51,927 --> 00:20:54,394
What?
426
00:20:54,430 --> 00:20:57,130
Dry shampoo!
427
00:20:57,199 --> 00:21:00,200
- It's gotta be hers, right?
- That thieving bitch!
428
00:21:00,336 --> 00:21:01,935
I've been looking for this!
429
00:21:01,937 --> 00:21:04,271
So, this means Lidia's
either living a braless new life
430
00:21:04,340 --> 00:21:07,307
without dry shampoo, or she...
431
00:21:07,442 --> 00:21:09,877
Just kept swimming.
432
00:21:18,554 --> 00:21:22,323
Weird, it says
we're right on top of them.
433
00:21:22,458 --> 00:21:25,692
There, up ahead.
434
00:21:25,761 --> 00:21:30,163
The 'ol trojan haybailer, eh?
435
00:21:30,232 --> 00:21:32,399
I got you now, farmer fraud!
436
00:21:32,468 --> 00:21:35,102
Pull over, now!
437
00:21:44,714 --> 00:21:46,180
- Hi, there.
- Hi, there.
438
00:21:46,315 --> 00:21:49,048
We have reason to believe you
may be harbouring a fugitive.
439
00:21:49,085 --> 00:21:50,150
Huh?
440
00:22:01,263 --> 00:22:03,597
Buntline hitch.
441
00:22:03,599 --> 00:22:06,967
Oh my God... Rhian!
442
00:22:07,102 --> 00:22:08,535
It's her signature knot!
443
00:22:08,604 --> 00:22:10,004
We've had some pretty kinky nights.
444
00:22:10,072 --> 00:22:11,404
TMI!
445
00:22:11,406 --> 00:22:12,406
She's onto her.
446
00:22:12,408 --> 00:22:14,073
If we find Rhian, then we find Lidia.
447
00:22:14,110 --> 00:22:16,242
APB reports of a gas station heist.
448
00:22:16,278 --> 00:22:19,946
Likely hybrid.
Could be armed and dangerous.
449
00:22:19,982 --> 00:22:22,683
The house in Brooklyn's
gonna sell, at some point.
450
00:22:22,818 --> 00:22:24,084
And I am a hard worker.
451
00:22:24,086 --> 00:22:25,797
Don't let these
well-moisturized hands fool you.
452
00:22:25,821 --> 00:22:28,689
I-I will pay you back.
453
00:22:28,824 --> 00:22:30,690
- It's fine.
- Mm-hm?
454
00:22:30,726 --> 00:22:34,027
I've got a deposit box on
the other side of the border.
455
00:22:34,096 --> 00:22:37,497
So, until we get across,
no money for food.
456
00:22:37,633 --> 00:22:39,499
Well...
457
00:22:39,568 --> 00:22:42,235
At least we have water, right?
So that's good.
458
00:22:42,304 --> 00:22:44,805
Though I do have low blood sugar.
459
00:22:44,940 --> 00:22:46,773
It's fine.
460
00:22:52,314 --> 00:22:54,047
Oh, God.
461
00:22:54,116 --> 00:22:56,649
She looks younger than Eleanor.
She shouldn't be out here alone.
462
00:22:56,685 --> 00:22:58,585
What if some criminal picks her up?
463
00:22:58,587 --> 00:23:00,987
Seriously?
464
00:23:01,056 --> 00:23:03,857
No, no, do not slow down.
Lidia, keep going!
465
00:23:03,859 --> 00:23:06,260
No, no, no, no, no!
Do not slow... don't stop.
466
00:23:06,262 --> 00:23:08,195
I know you're annoyed
with me right now,
467
00:23:08,264 --> 00:23:10,397
and that's totally valid,
but the only thing I hate
468
00:23:10,532 --> 00:23:12,199
more than a man telling me what to do
469
00:23:12,334 --> 00:23:14,934
is the man I'm running away with
telling me what not to do.
470
00:23:14,970 --> 00:23:16,069
Hi, I'm Polly!
471
00:23:16,205 --> 00:23:18,083
She wouldn't really
have drowned herself, right?
472
00:23:18,107 --> 00:23:19,139
That's not Lidia.
473
00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:22,009
Lidia is a well-manicured,
very dramatic cockroach.
474
00:23:22,144 --> 00:23:23,343
Cockroaches survive.
475
00:23:23,412 --> 00:23:25,946
They don't do the dog-paddle
of death in the Bay of Fundy!
476
00:23:26,015 --> 00:23:27,147
Unless...
477
00:23:27,216 --> 00:23:28,749
Unless...!
478
00:23:28,884 --> 00:23:30,717
Do you think Gale drowned her,
479
00:23:30,753 --> 00:23:32,853
like a murder-husband
from one of those crime docs?
480
00:23:32,922 --> 00:23:34,888
The real crime scene
is that toilet bowl.
481
00:23:34,924 --> 00:23:36,957
I would not go in there.
And neither would Lidia.
482
00:23:36,959 --> 00:23:38,892
I don't think this is
the right gas station.
483
00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:39,961
No.
484
00:23:39,995 --> 00:23:41,227
...Responding to your call, so...
485
00:23:41,229 --> 00:23:42,227
Oh, shit.
486
00:23:42,252 --> 00:23:43,897
Oh...
487
00:23:44,032 --> 00:23:46,399
Um, her hair was blond.
488
00:23:47,703 --> 00:23:49,569
Lidia was here.
489
00:23:49,705 --> 00:23:51,438
Did she hold up a gas station?
490
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:52,706
She's alive.
491
00:23:52,708 --> 00:23:55,375
And she's gone full
natural born killers.
492
00:23:55,444 --> 00:23:57,144
Come on.
493
00:23:59,181 --> 00:24:01,114
♪ Said we're here for a good time ♪
494
00:24:03,886 --> 00:24:05,919
♪ Not a long time! ♪
495
00:24:05,988 --> 00:24:08,321
- ♪ Not a long time! ♪
- Yeah!
496
00:24:08,357 --> 00:24:09,989
♪ So have a good time! ♪
497
00:24:10,025 --> 00:24:12,993
♪ The sun can't shine every day! ♪
498
00:24:14,230 --> 00:24:15,695
Good tune!
499
00:24:15,764 --> 00:24:18,532
Wow, besides major buzzkill over here,
500
00:24:18,667 --> 00:24:21,268
this is the best
hitchhike I've ever had.
501
00:24:21,403 --> 00:24:24,304
You know what?
You remind me a lot of my mom.
502
00:24:24,373 --> 00:24:27,474
If my mom was cool yet for
some reason drove a lame car.
503
00:24:28,677 --> 00:24:29,988
That's like the nicest thing
504
00:24:30,012 --> 00:24:32,545
anyone under the age of 40
has said to me all summer.
505
00:24:32,581 --> 00:24:33,813
And it's his car.
506
00:24:33,883 --> 00:24:35,682
♪ Every year
has its share of tears... ♪
507
00:24:35,751 --> 00:24:36,950
How far are you going?
508
00:24:36,952 --> 00:24:39,086
What is distance, anyways?
509
00:24:39,088 --> 00:24:41,555
The space between two objects.
510
00:24:41,557 --> 00:24:44,024
I am a steward of all the land.
511
00:24:44,026 --> 00:24:45,066
Oh, great, then we'll, uh,
512
00:24:45,127 --> 00:24:46,826
we'll let you off right here, then.
513
00:24:46,862 --> 00:24:48,828
It's why I became a woof-er,
514
00:24:48,898 --> 00:24:51,030
work opportunities on organic farms,
515
00:24:51,066 --> 00:24:52,699
because the cultivators of the earth
516
00:24:52,701 --> 00:24:56,036
are the most valuable citizens.
517
00:24:56,038 --> 00:24:58,083
Seriously, are these your
Nana's wheels or something?
518
00:24:58,107 --> 00:25:00,573
You know what?
519
00:25:00,609 --> 00:25:04,177
You've just lost
your music privileges.
520
00:25:09,985 --> 00:25:13,987
Sorry. Um, can we chat for a second?
521
00:25:16,024 --> 00:25:18,191
- Uh, what is happening here?
- I don't know!
522
00:25:18,216 --> 00:25:19,236
What is happening here?
523
00:25:19,261 --> 00:25:21,461
I'm trying to be welcoming
to our guest
524
00:25:21,497 --> 00:25:23,330
to make up for your bad attitude?
525
00:25:23,399 --> 00:25:26,967
No, I'm talking about
the twisted family road trip
526
00:25:27,036 --> 00:25:29,736
with a total stranger,
singing Canadian oldies?
527
00:25:29,805 --> 00:25:33,407
Okay, Trooper is essential cancon,
528
00:25:33,409 --> 00:25:35,409
and I'm sorry if "no having fun"
529
00:25:35,544 --> 00:25:38,311
is another rule of the road
you forgot to clue me in on.
530
00:25:38,314 --> 00:25:40,246
I mean, I know, our situation stinks,
531
00:25:40,382 --> 00:25:42,249
but would it kill you
to lighten up a little?
532
00:25:42,384 --> 00:25:46,153
As a matter of fact,
it just might kill me, yeah!
533
00:25:46,288 --> 00:25:49,889
And your emotional jazz hands
are gonna get us both busted!
534
00:25:49,891 --> 00:25:52,892
Emotional jazz hands?!
535
00:25:53,028 --> 00:25:55,428
You picked up that kid
as a distraction
536
00:25:55,497 --> 00:25:57,030
from what's really going on.
537
00:25:57,032 --> 00:25:59,433
Okay, are you still pissed at me
about losing the money?
538
00:25:59,568 --> 00:26:03,770
Because I said I'd make it up
to you, and I swear I will.
539
00:26:03,905 --> 00:26:06,540
I opened up to you, Lidia!
540
00:26:06,542 --> 00:26:10,777
Back at the outlook, I opened up.
541
00:26:10,912 --> 00:26:12,312
And I don't do that.
542
00:26:12,381 --> 00:26:14,348
And I don't do that, ever.
543
00:26:14,483 --> 00:26:16,683
You said "I love you,"
544
00:26:16,685 --> 00:26:21,621
and we had very hot backseat sex.
545
00:26:21,690 --> 00:26:24,658
- What? I said it back!
- What am I to you?
546
00:26:24,660 --> 00:26:26,259
Did your feelings change
when you saw me
547
00:26:26,261 --> 00:26:29,529
without the motorcycle
and all the leather?
548
00:26:29,531 --> 00:26:31,465
Am I just your slam piece?
549
00:26:31,600 --> 00:26:32,600
Slam piece?
550
00:26:32,734 --> 00:26:34,468
No!
551
00:26:34,603 --> 00:26:35,802
What?
552
00:26:35,804 --> 00:26:37,137
No, Gale!
553
00:26:37,206 --> 00:26:39,806
You're not running away with me.
554
00:26:39,941 --> 00:26:43,243
You're running away from your family.
555
00:26:46,248 --> 00:26:47,480
Gale, no.
556
00:26:47,516 --> 00:26:49,483
That's... that's not true.
557
00:26:49,618 --> 00:26:51,551
I'm with you.
558
00:26:51,587 --> 00:26:53,220
Literally, right now.
559
00:26:53,355 --> 00:26:56,823
And I'm not using that kid
to avoid being alone with you,
560
00:26:56,892 --> 00:26:59,092
I'm just...
561
00:26:59,128 --> 00:27:01,027
I dunno, maybe
I'm trying to prove to myself
562
00:27:01,030 --> 00:27:02,562
that I'm not a total monster
563
00:27:02,564 --> 00:27:06,099
by helping this defenceless
young woman, you know?
564
00:27:06,101 --> 00:27:09,970
Just looking for the good
to counteract all the bad.
565
00:27:17,913 --> 00:27:19,713
You left the keys in the ignition.
566
00:27:19,715 --> 00:27:22,115
I believe I did, yeah.
567
00:27:22,151 --> 00:27:24,651
Rhian, I am not stopping again, okay?
568
00:27:24,653 --> 00:27:29,055
"Award-winning BBQ."
Secret's in the rub, apparently.
569
00:27:29,058 --> 00:27:31,525
Randy T from Newport says,
"these ribs are to die for!"
570
00:27:31,660 --> 00:27:34,294
Our sister's gonna be dead
if we don't find her soon.
571
00:27:34,429 --> 00:27:35,729
I am a nursing mother.
572
00:27:35,731 --> 00:27:38,131
I need animal flesh or I will be dead.
573
00:27:38,167 --> 00:27:40,566
Enough with the mortality crap, okay?
574
00:27:40,602 --> 00:27:42,803
Are you still freaking out
about maybe having cancer?
575
00:27:42,938 --> 00:27:44,938
Yes! Like a normal human person,
576
00:27:45,073 --> 00:27:47,874
I'm a tad bummed at the idea
of kicking the bucket.
577
00:27:47,876 --> 00:27:49,542
It's the "maybe" part
that's keeping me
578
00:27:49,578 --> 00:27:52,412
from driving this truck
off a cliff, okay?
579
00:27:52,547 --> 00:27:54,881
Well, it could be good news.
580
00:27:55,016 --> 00:27:56,683
You could just be barren!
581
00:27:56,685 --> 00:27:58,118
Please stop comforting me.
582
00:28:00,522 --> 00:28:05,025
You know that whatever happens,
I'll be there for you, right?
583
00:28:05,050 --> 00:28:06,092
Wow.
584
00:28:06,128 --> 00:28:08,427
You must really want
those freakin' ribs.
585
00:28:19,708 --> 00:28:22,008
I've seen this porno.
586
00:28:22,077 --> 00:28:24,778
Mmm, I used to have
a lumberjack fetish.
587
00:28:26,181 --> 00:28:29,449
Seriously, beefcake much?
588
00:28:29,584 --> 00:28:31,664
Pamphlet should have mentioned
that Rocky's Roadhouse
589
00:28:31,720 --> 00:28:33,853
serves two kinds of jumbo meat!
590
00:28:33,922 --> 00:28:35,488
Booyah!
591
00:28:35,491 --> 00:28:38,325
Okay, we're just gonna order
the food and then hit the road.
592
00:28:43,198 --> 00:28:45,531
You know, I'm usually the more
emotionally available one
593
00:28:45,567 --> 00:28:47,400
in my relationships.
594
00:28:47,536 --> 00:28:49,669
Back in college, I brought
a list of baby names
595
00:28:49,805 --> 00:28:51,738
to a speed-dating event.
596
00:28:51,740 --> 00:28:55,008
I wish that I could say
you're making this less awkward!
597
00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,281
Okay.
598
00:29:03,285 --> 00:29:05,952
So...
599
00:29:06,021 --> 00:29:10,023
Maybe I have been using
sex and a hitchhiker
600
00:29:10,092 --> 00:29:12,959
to distract from
how I'm really feeling.
601
00:29:13,094 --> 00:29:16,029
I do love you, Gale.
602
00:29:16,031 --> 00:29:18,231
Leather or no leather.
603
00:29:18,233 --> 00:29:21,634
I mean, it's hard to feel
anything for anyone right now
604
00:29:21,703 --> 00:29:23,837
other than panic.
605
00:29:23,906 --> 00:29:25,572
Over our lack of food...
606
00:29:25,641 --> 00:29:28,041
Suitable lounge wear...
607
00:29:28,043 --> 00:29:30,510
My kids...
608
00:29:30,512 --> 00:29:33,780
Do you remember when we first met?
609
00:29:35,250 --> 00:29:38,518
In Heidi braids with a suitcase
full of Chinese pharmaceuticals?
610
00:29:38,653 --> 00:29:40,219
Classic.
611
00:29:40,255 --> 00:29:44,257
I should have just let you walk away.
612
00:29:44,293 --> 00:29:48,127
The business proposition,
all of it, it was just...
613
00:29:48,197 --> 00:29:50,897
It was just an excuse to see you.
614
00:29:51,032 --> 00:29:52,832
Well, maybe I didn't
want to walk away.
615
00:29:52,835 --> 00:29:56,803
Yeah, but the responsible
thing to do would have been
616
00:29:56,938 --> 00:29:59,539
to make you walk away.
617
00:29:59,674 --> 00:30:02,075
Lidia, it's been a year.
618
00:30:02,144 --> 00:30:04,377
Look at... look at where you are!
619
00:30:04,512 --> 00:30:08,248
Everything gets worse for you
when we're together.
620
00:30:08,317 --> 00:30:10,049
This isn't your life.
621
00:30:10,185 --> 00:30:11,951
You're here because of me.
622
00:30:11,987 --> 00:30:14,787
And for that, I am truly sorry.
623
00:30:14,823 --> 00:30:16,789
First off...
624
00:30:16,825 --> 00:30:21,695
No one can make me do anything.
625
00:30:21,697 --> 00:30:24,030
That's the real problem here.
626
00:30:26,602 --> 00:30:27,867
So don't apologize to me,
627
00:30:27,903 --> 00:30:30,369
or tell me I'm some choice you regret.
628
00:30:30,405 --> 00:30:33,639
Because I regret a lot of things...
629
00:30:33,675 --> 00:30:36,876
I don't regret meeting you.
630
00:30:36,879 --> 00:30:38,477
Okay.
631
00:30:40,349 --> 00:30:42,715
Well...
632
00:30:42,784 --> 00:30:46,319
We'll find a way for you
to contact Finn and Eleanor.
633
00:30:46,388 --> 00:30:47,454
Okay.
634
00:30:47,589 --> 00:30:49,689
I know a guy who can set up
a secure communication
635
00:30:49,824 --> 00:30:52,258
once we get across the border,
and after that,
636
00:30:52,327 --> 00:30:54,761
once the dust settles, I'll, uh...
637
00:30:54,896 --> 00:30:58,531
I'll make a deal with the feds.
638
00:30:58,567 --> 00:31:00,800
You'll get immunity.
639
00:31:00,936 --> 00:31:03,069
You'll get immunity, I promise.
640
00:31:06,975 --> 00:31:09,976
I love you.
641
00:31:12,547 --> 00:31:15,882
But do you love my hybrid vehicle?
642
00:31:33,835 --> 00:31:37,971
All hail the convertible battery.
643
00:31:53,755 --> 00:31:55,155
Yah!
644
00:31:58,059 --> 00:31:59,059
Yes!
645
00:31:59,160 --> 00:32:00,338
Rhian, Rhian...
646
00:32:00,362 --> 00:32:02,862
Bow down to your meat queen!
647
00:32:02,864 --> 00:32:07,200
Rhian, Rhian, Rhian, Rhian, Rhian...
648
00:32:09,271 --> 00:32:11,738
You know, it's like...
Is that all life is?
649
00:32:11,807 --> 00:32:13,873
Just flippin' off the man
every chance you get
650
00:32:13,942 --> 00:32:16,876
for trying to crawl into
your body for all it's worth?
651
00:32:16,878 --> 00:32:20,480
You know, sometimes I think,
"stop complicating your life!"
652
00:32:20,482 --> 00:32:22,681
You know? "Just walk away."
653
00:32:22,718 --> 00:32:24,451
But that curve...
654
00:32:24,586 --> 00:32:26,819
Always keeps me coming back, you know?
655
00:32:26,855 --> 00:32:29,289
All 45 degrees.
656
00:32:31,393 --> 00:32:35,762
So, Kurt says he has never seen
such power and precision
657
00:32:35,831 --> 00:32:37,296
in a first-timer before.
658
00:32:37,332 --> 00:32:39,699
Thank you to the two
20-pound human kettlebells
659
00:32:39,701 --> 00:32:41,341
I've been hauling around
for three months!
660
00:32:41,436 --> 00:32:43,302
I'm already very aware
that you would make
661
00:32:43,338 --> 00:32:44,771
an excellent axe-murderer.
662
00:32:44,773 --> 00:32:46,639
But we have to go.
663
00:32:46,641 --> 00:32:48,641
And you definitely need to drive.
664
00:32:48,777 --> 00:32:50,709
- Mm-hm.
- Rhian...
665
00:32:50,746 --> 00:32:54,847
What if this whole
Lidia thing is all my fault?
666
00:32:54,916 --> 00:32:58,852
You know, because I called her
a back-stabbing bitch?
667
00:32:58,854 --> 00:33:01,054
She left because I kicked
her out of her trailer
668
00:33:01,189 --> 00:33:03,156
and tried to kill her with a nail gun.
669
00:33:03,225 --> 00:33:05,325
What if we never
see her again, you know?
670
00:33:05,460 --> 00:33:09,762
What do we tell Eleanor? Finn?
671
00:33:20,042 --> 00:33:23,209
That slutty little bitch!
672
00:33:32,287 --> 00:33:34,053
Did you call them
from the gas station?
673
00:33:34,056 --> 00:33:35,488
No!
674
00:33:35,524 --> 00:33:38,758
I swear, I have no clue
how they tracked us down.
675
00:33:38,893 --> 00:33:42,228
But isn't it so sweet they came
all this way just to find me?
676
00:33:42,297 --> 00:33:44,564
Or they want me dead.
677
00:33:48,970 --> 00:33:50,970
That guy.
678
00:33:51,039 --> 00:33:52,471
He's from a competing club,
679
00:33:52,507 --> 00:33:54,507
which means we're in enemy territory.
680
00:33:54,509 --> 00:33:56,709
I hate to ask you to
cut the reunion short...
681
00:33:56,711 --> 00:33:57,777
Already on it.
682
00:33:57,912 --> 00:33:58,978
I'll handle my sisters.
683
00:33:59,114 --> 00:34:01,781
You find Polly and get our car back.
684
00:34:04,052 --> 00:34:06,385
Hey...
685
00:34:06,455 --> 00:34:08,922
What are you doing here?
686
00:34:09,057 --> 00:34:10,323
Holding an axe?
687
00:34:10,325 --> 00:34:12,191
I'm a lumberjack savant.
688
00:34:12,227 --> 00:34:14,327
And you, Lidia,
are predictable as shit.
689
00:34:14,396 --> 00:34:15,662
I told you, Nora.
690
00:34:15,664 --> 00:34:17,597
No human being, sane or otherwise,
691
00:34:17,666 --> 00:34:19,632
passes up a plate of primo ribs.
692
00:34:19,634 --> 00:34:21,000
The prison bars of the meat world.
693
00:34:21,069 --> 00:34:23,937
Well, we didn't
initially come here for BBQ.
694
00:34:24,072 --> 00:34:26,205
That being said, can someone
please spot me 20 bucks
695
00:34:26,341 --> 00:34:27,421
for a stack? I'm so hungry!
696
00:34:27,475 --> 00:34:29,309
Oh, and have you seen a teenage girl?
697
00:34:29,311 --> 00:34:30,410
She stole our car!
698
00:34:30,412 --> 00:34:31,944
We're not gonna help you run!
699
00:34:32,013 --> 00:34:33,612
We bounty huntresses, bitch!
700
00:34:33,748 --> 00:34:35,615
The only reason I tagged along
701
00:34:35,617 --> 00:34:37,150
on this tourist route from hell
702
00:34:37,285 --> 00:34:40,419
is to drag your sorry ass home, okay?
703
00:34:40,455 --> 00:34:41,699
Are you right- or left-handed?
704
00:34:41,723 --> 00:34:43,690
I know how to throw an axe, dude.
705
00:34:43,692 --> 00:34:45,825
That was a great shot.
706
00:34:45,827 --> 00:34:48,027
Now you're just axe-splaining me.
707
00:34:48,096 --> 00:34:50,296
Come around here often?
708
00:34:51,833 --> 00:34:54,667
You're not even old enough
to drink, you little fraud.
709
00:34:54,802 --> 00:34:58,504
I was old enough to do
what we did last night.
710
00:34:58,573 --> 00:35:00,039
You don't get to bail
711
00:35:00,175 --> 00:35:01,841
and then leave us with the fall-out!
712
00:35:01,976 --> 00:35:04,310
I'm actually trying to
be self less for once.
713
00:35:04,445 --> 00:35:05,979
If I come with you right now,
714
00:35:06,114 --> 00:35:07,479
I put the whole family in danger.
715
00:35:07,516 --> 00:35:10,116
Once again, you are confusing
martyrdom with assholedom.
716
00:35:10,185 --> 00:35:12,719
You can't protect us from you.
That ship has sailed, okay?
717
00:35:12,721 --> 00:35:15,488
You're just running away to Cabo
718
00:35:15,557 --> 00:35:18,458
with some guy
that you barely even know.
719
00:35:18,460 --> 00:35:22,128
I'm not running off to Cabo, Nora!
720
00:35:22,130 --> 00:35:24,197
I'm going to Panama.
Totally different headwear.
721
00:35:24,199 --> 00:35:25,698
You said you loved me!
722
00:35:25,700 --> 00:35:27,333
Okay, buddy, chill. She's kidding.
723
00:35:27,402 --> 00:35:28,568
Kidding?!
724
00:35:28,637 --> 00:35:30,837
He promised he was
gonna take me to prom!
725
00:35:30,839 --> 00:35:31,971
He promised!
726
00:35:31,973 --> 00:35:33,673
He's a liar.
727
00:35:33,675 --> 00:35:34,875
Everyone, let's take a breath.
728
00:35:35,009 --> 00:35:38,010
Nora, I think we should tell her.
729
00:35:38,079 --> 00:35:39,345
Yeah.
730
00:35:39,414 --> 00:35:40,613
- Okay?
- Okay.
731
00:35:40,748 --> 00:35:43,082
Lidia...
732
00:35:43,218 --> 00:35:47,987
This isn't the usual mess,
and it isn't entirely yours.
733
00:35:48,023 --> 00:35:50,055
I may have landed mom
734
00:35:50,091 --> 00:35:54,694
on the most wanted list
for Jimmy's murder.
735
00:35:54,829 --> 00:35:55,962
What?!
736
00:35:56,097 --> 00:35:58,631
Dad saved his skull
737
00:35:58,766 --> 00:36:02,568
and I basically handed it to the cops.
738
00:36:02,571 --> 00:36:04,236
Why the hell would you do that?!
739
00:36:04,272 --> 00:36:06,038
I was trying to slow the resort build!
740
00:36:06,074 --> 00:36:08,574
The point is, you think you're
the antichrist of the Moonshine,
741
00:36:08,643 --> 00:36:10,109
but you're no worse than us!
742
00:36:10,244 --> 00:36:12,445
We're all satanic spawn.
743
00:36:12,580 --> 00:36:14,647
But we're the only
spawn that we've got,
744
00:36:14,683 --> 00:36:16,449
and if we're gonna keep spawning,
745
00:36:16,451 --> 00:36:19,118
which is what spawns do, then...
746
00:36:19,154 --> 00:36:22,788
We need you.
747
00:36:22,824 --> 00:36:25,858
Shit.
748
00:36:25,927 --> 00:36:29,795
You know what,
I'm just going to take the keys.
749
00:36:29,831 --> 00:36:33,566
- And I'll be on my way.
- Hey!
750
00:36:33,635 --> 00:36:35,100
That you, Favreau?
751
00:36:35,136 --> 00:36:36,269
Gale!
752
00:36:36,271 --> 00:36:38,103
Oh, shit.
753
00:36:38,139 --> 00:36:40,339
I don't think so, pervert!
754
00:36:40,408 --> 00:36:42,074
You got a problem?
755
00:36:42,210 --> 00:36:43,309
Lidia, we gotta go!
756
00:36:43,311 --> 00:36:44,311
Actually...
757
00:36:44,378 --> 00:36:45,378
There was a problem.
758
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:47,680
And it would wind up
in an enormous brawl
759
00:36:47,815 --> 00:36:49,548
that would obliterate
Rocky's Roadhouse.
760
00:36:49,584 --> 00:36:52,485
Now, I could regale you
in the bloodshed,
761
00:36:52,554 --> 00:36:55,421
but I could care less
about some sweaty bar fight.
762
00:36:55,457 --> 00:36:58,358
So instead, I'll stick to the players,
763
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:01,026
because this is my podcast, okay?
764
00:37:01,062 --> 00:37:04,831
And character and stakes
are everything, baby.
765
00:37:06,635 --> 00:37:09,035
First, we have our hangry lumberjack.
766
00:37:09,037 --> 00:37:11,704
Only dry rub in town
that don't chafe on the way out.
767
00:37:11,839 --> 00:37:14,840
Then we have our cunning urchin
768
00:37:14,876 --> 00:37:17,844
who pulls shit like this all the time.
769
00:37:17,979 --> 00:37:20,580
Because I'm cute and smart,
and actually 26.
770
00:37:20,715 --> 00:37:23,049
And then we have our outlaw biker
771
00:37:23,118 --> 00:37:24,317
with his four ex-wives,
772
00:37:24,319 --> 00:37:27,053
who really needs that bounty
on Gail Favreau's head.
773
00:37:27,122 --> 00:37:29,522
He's dead.
774
00:37:29,591 --> 00:37:33,259
And then we have our doomed lovers.
775
00:37:33,394 --> 00:37:34,760
I'm gonna throw the keys to Lidia,
776
00:37:34,796 --> 00:37:36,595
and then she needs to run.
777
00:37:36,731 --> 00:37:38,798
Without even saying goodbye?
778
00:37:38,867 --> 00:37:41,600
Is that skank seriously choosing
the best sex of her life
779
00:37:41,602 --> 00:37:43,269
over her own sisters?!
780
00:37:43,338 --> 00:37:44,537
I get it!
781
00:37:44,606 --> 00:37:46,472
Down below!
782
00:37:52,314 --> 00:37:53,946
What an asshole!
783
00:37:59,020 --> 00:38:00,953
You're gonna drop the keys!
784
00:38:00,989 --> 00:38:03,455
Aah, stop her!
785
00:38:08,629 --> 00:38:09,728
Hi-yah!
786
00:38:11,433 --> 00:38:13,298
♪ And she get to whiskey drinkin'... ♪
787
00:38:22,877 --> 00:38:24,010
Gale!
788
00:38:24,145 --> 00:38:25,210
You okay?
789
00:38:25,246 --> 00:38:26,645
Oh, God.
790
00:38:26,647 --> 00:38:27,914
Arrested, shot, or axed to death.
791
00:38:27,916 --> 00:38:29,448
What's your poison? Is it poison?
792
00:38:29,473 --> 00:38:30,474
None of the above.
793
00:38:30,585 --> 00:38:32,451
Time for plan B,
which means you drive.
794
00:38:32,487 --> 00:38:34,119
- I drive?
- You drive.
795
00:38:40,928 --> 00:38:43,195
Oh, and you have to drive, okay,
796
00:38:43,264 --> 00:38:45,820
because I cannot chase
a cop car after I've had three,
797
00:38:45,845 --> 00:38:46,850
I've had four...
798
00:38:46,875 --> 00:38:49,368
I had nine beers!
799
00:38:49,404 --> 00:38:50,936
♪ When this floozy get too boozy ♪
800
00:38:50,972 --> 00:38:52,738
♪ ain't too choosy whom she cozy ♪
801
00:38:52,741 --> 00:38:54,140
Okay!
802
00:38:56,978 --> 00:38:59,211
Oh, God, what's wrong with you?
I'm gonna puke!
803
00:38:59,247 --> 00:39:00,546
Don't yell at me!
804
00:39:00,615 --> 00:39:04,450
I haven't driven anything other
than a lawnmower in three years!
805
00:39:06,388 --> 00:39:09,756
♪ Shut your mouth and
pull out your pink Lincoln ♪
806
00:39:09,891 --> 00:39:13,225
♪ yeah! come on... ♪
807
00:39:19,634 --> 00:39:21,300
Yeah. Speed up!
808
00:39:21,369 --> 00:39:22,768
They're getting away!
809
00:39:22,771 --> 00:39:25,037
The cops are right behind us!
I don't wanna get a ticket!
810
00:39:25,173 --> 00:39:26,173
Aw!
811
00:39:28,543 --> 00:39:30,876
We're losing them!
812
00:39:30,945 --> 00:39:32,145
It's Oscar.
813
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:36,182
Yeah, well, what's he gonna do,
put his baby mama in jail?
814
00:39:36,251 --> 00:39:37,449
I don't think so.
815
00:39:37,485 --> 00:39:39,117
Oh, you don't know Oscar like I do.
816
00:39:39,154 --> 00:39:42,387
He can be a real beast.
817
00:39:42,424 --> 00:39:43,744
Hey, honey bear?
818
00:39:43,825 --> 00:39:46,125
I think it's probably best
you let us take the lead
819
00:39:46,127 --> 00:39:47,126
on this one, 'kay?
820
00:39:47,128 --> 00:39:49,795
Could you pull over,
please and thanks?
821
00:39:49,831 --> 00:39:52,531
Please, okay. Could you...
822
00:39:52,600 --> 00:39:54,080
Guy's a real beast.
823
00:39:54,135 --> 00:39:55,968
Rhian, get off the road!
824
00:39:56,004 --> 00:39:59,738
In fact, everyone with
the last name Finley-Cullen
825
00:39:59,774 --> 00:40:02,475
cease driving immediately!
826
00:40:04,479 --> 00:40:05,945
- Here we go.
- Okay!
827
00:40:05,947 --> 00:40:09,215
- Hang on tight.
- Okay.
828
00:40:09,350 --> 00:40:11,817
Now, this is where the story
gets a little bit fuzzy.
829
00:40:11,886 --> 00:40:15,354
Was I actually in that car with Lidia?
830
00:40:15,356 --> 00:40:16,689
No.
831
00:40:16,691 --> 00:40:19,158
But can I imagine what was said?
832
00:40:19,227 --> 00:40:20,626
Ooh...
833
00:40:20,761 --> 00:40:22,239
Oh, you gotta wee-wee again,
don't you?
834
00:40:22,263 --> 00:40:23,328
Sure can!
835
00:40:23,364 --> 00:40:25,631
I'm almost at the tipping point.
836
00:40:25,700 --> 00:40:28,601
- Forgive me!
- Ugh!
837
00:40:28,736 --> 00:40:31,370
Okay, you can't
tell me that didn't happen.
838
00:40:31,406 --> 00:40:32,406
Also this...
839
00:40:32,507 --> 00:40:33,906
Before I throw my entire life away
840
00:40:33,975 --> 00:40:36,509
and run off with you forever,
I just need to know one thing.
841
00:40:36,644 --> 00:40:37,884
- What's that?
- Your real name.
842
00:40:39,714 --> 00:40:41,647
It's Bert.
843
00:40:41,683 --> 00:40:43,615
- Like Bert and Ernie?
- As in "bobert."
844
00:40:43,651 --> 00:40:45,751
It's... it's a family name.
845
00:40:45,887 --> 00:40:48,287
Okay, okay, that probably
didn't happen either.
846
00:40:48,289 --> 00:40:49,622
But for sure this did.
847
00:40:52,393 --> 00:40:54,126
Lidia... Lidia... Lidia!
848
00:40:54,128 --> 00:40:56,862
Well, that's one way
to get a guy to stop
849
00:40:56,865 --> 00:41:01,033
backseat driving you.
Really, it's the only way.
850
00:41:01,035 --> 00:41:05,137
As for the truth about what
really went down in that car...
851
00:41:13,414 --> 00:41:15,614
When you're in the middle
of a high-speed chase,
852
00:41:15,650 --> 00:41:18,684
sandwiched between the police
and your insane older sister
853
00:41:18,819 --> 00:41:20,219
and her leather-clad slam piece,
854
00:41:20,221 --> 00:41:24,156
you suddenly get a lot of
clarity on what matters,
855
00:41:24,158 --> 00:41:29,528
who matters,
what your life's been all about.
856
00:41:29,531 --> 00:41:32,398
I guess the "why now" of this story
857
00:41:32,533 --> 00:41:35,834
is I realized maybe...
858
00:41:35,870 --> 00:41:39,237
Having a little bit of Lidia in me
859
00:41:39,274 --> 00:41:42,742
isn't such a bad thing...
860
00:41:42,877 --> 00:41:47,246
She took a leap of faith
when her life wasn't working.
861
00:41:47,248 --> 00:41:48,714
She took a chance.
862
00:41:48,783 --> 00:41:52,317
Followed her big demented heart.
863
00:41:52,319 --> 00:41:55,320
All those clichés on those
cheap, decorative pillows
864
00:41:55,356 --> 00:41:58,858
at discount stores,
she did all of that.
865
00:41:58,860 --> 00:42:00,726
And maybe...
866
00:42:00,728 --> 00:42:04,797
I dunno, the rest of us
need to do that too.
867
00:42:04,799 --> 00:42:07,400
Live life.
868
00:42:07,402 --> 00:42:09,868
Get out of your own damn way.
869
00:42:13,608 --> 00:42:16,442
Call the doctor.
870
00:42:21,316 --> 00:42:25,917
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh... ♪
871
00:42:28,923 --> 00:42:32,091
♪ Oh, oh... ♪
872
00:43:04,459 --> 00:43:09,261
There's no decorative pillow
for this one, folks.
873
00:43:13,001 --> 00:43:20,249
sync and corrections by awaqededwww.MY-SUBS.com.
61830
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof