All language subtitles for Big.City.Greens.S02E25.WEB-DL.DSNP

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,291 --> 00:00:04,542 [theme song plays] 2 00:00:14,625 --> 00:00:16,125 ♪ One, two, One-two-three-four ♪ 3 00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:20,083 [vocalizing] 4 00:00:29,166 --> 00:00:30,917 [chicken clucks] 5 00:00:31,500 --> 00:00:32,917 -[phone rings] -[chicken clucking] 6 00:00:33,000 --> 00:00:35,250 Get outta here, ya dang chicken! 7 00:00:35,333 --> 00:00:36,500 Hello. Who is it? 8 00:00:36,583 --> 00:00:38,375 I told you to quit callin'! 9 00:00:38,458 --> 00:00:41,583 There's no way Cricket Green has a girlfriend. 10 00:00:41,667 --> 00:00:43,458 Gramma, no! Gimme that. Hello? 11 00:00:43,542 --> 00:00:45,041 Cricket! Hey! 12 00:00:45,208 --> 00:00:48,375 Well, if it isn't Gabriella Carlita Espinosa, 13 00:00:48,458 --> 00:00:50,125 my girlfriend! 14 00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:52,792 It's finally happened. I'm losin' it. 15 00:00:52,875 --> 00:00:54,959 Ernest, I'm comin' for ya. 16 00:00:55,166 --> 00:00:58,291 -I'm comin' for ya! -So what's up, Gabs? 17 00:00:58,375 --> 00:01:00,542 [Gabriella] Well I just got back from Montreal, 18 00:01:00,625 --> 00:01:02,750 And I was wondering if you wanted to hang out. 19 00:01:02,834 --> 00:01:04,875 Let's do it! Wait... No mushy stuff, right? 20 00:01:05,125 --> 00:01:06,542 No, gross! 21 00:01:06,625 --> 00:01:08,333 I just wanted to see the new America Rat movie. 22 00:01:08,417 --> 00:01:11,166 ♪ "America Rat! He'll save your babies-- ♪ 23 00:01:11,291 --> 00:01:13,208 ♪ Without spreading rabies! ♪ 24 00:01:13,291 --> 00:01:15,083 Ha-ha! Let's go see it tonight! 25 00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:16,959 Great! The only thing is... 26 00:01:17,041 --> 00:01:18,750 my parents can't take me tonight, 27 00:01:18,834 --> 00:01:20,125 and they won't let me go without a chaperone. 28 00:01:20,250 --> 00:01:21,667 Do you know anyone who could take us? 29 00:01:21,750 --> 00:01:23,208 -Hmmm... -[Bill sighs] 30 00:01:23,333 --> 00:01:25,041 You're supposed to get rid of anything 31 00:01:25,125 --> 00:01:26,500 that doesn't spark joy. 32 00:01:26,583 --> 00:01:29,667 But every single one of you guys sparks joy to me! 33 00:01:29,750 --> 00:01:31,458 I know just the guy. 34 00:01:31,542 --> 00:01:33,166 See you soon! Hey, Dad! 35 00:01:33,250 --> 00:01:35,583 Can you drive me and Gabriella to the movies later? 36 00:01:35,667 --> 00:01:37,750 -Who's Gabriella? -She's my girlfriend! 37 00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:39,667 -[stunned efforts] -Yeah, she's real fun and cool 38 00:01:39,750 --> 00:01:40,834 and likes doin' pranks with me. 39 00:01:40,917 --> 00:01:42,375 Anyway, you wanna chaperone? 40 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:45,125 Me? Of course! I'd be happy to! 41 00:01:45,208 --> 00:01:46,959 So, you gonna get her flowers? 42 00:01:47,041 --> 00:01:47,959 Have romantic music? 43 00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:49,375 Eat gourmet food? 44 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:51,125 Nah, we're gonna see America Rat! 45 00:01:51,208 --> 00:01:53,750 [hisses] America Rat. 46 00:01:53,917 --> 00:01:55,875 But you can see a movie any ol' time. 47 00:01:55,959 --> 00:01:59,542 -A first date is supposed to be special. -No, no, no. It's not a date. 48 00:01:59,625 --> 00:02:02,000 It's just a boyfriend and a girlfriend seeing a movie! 49 00:02:02,125 --> 00:02:04,667 Anyway I gotta go get ready. [slurps] 50 00:02:04,750 --> 00:02:06,792 Holy cow. Cricket's got a date. 51 00:02:06,875 --> 00:02:08,250 My son has come to me 52 00:02:08,333 --> 00:02:10,125 to chaperone this special evening. 53 00:02:10,208 --> 00:02:12,417 Bill Green, you're gonna give these two 54 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:15,041 the best first date ever! 55 00:02:15,125 --> 00:02:16,375 [laughs] 56 00:02:16,458 --> 00:02:18,083 Gabriella! 57 00:02:18,208 --> 00:02:21,083 ♪ Gonna see Gabriella Gonna see Gabriella ♪ 58 00:02:21,166 --> 00:02:22,625 ♪ Gonna see-- ♪ Uh... 59 00:02:23,959 --> 00:02:25,041 Your chariot awaits! 60 00:02:26,709 --> 00:02:27,625 Uh... Dad? 61 00:02:27,709 --> 00:02:30,166 What's with all of this? 62 00:02:30,250 --> 00:02:33,166 I just want to look nice for your "not date". 63 00:02:33,291 --> 00:02:35,792 And I already regret asking you to chaperone. 64 00:02:35,875 --> 00:02:37,875 -Maybe Gramma can-- -Oooh, don't worry. 65 00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:40,875 I'm just here to drive you from point A to point B 66 00:02:40,959 --> 00:02:43,041 and make sure everything is absolutely perfect. 67 00:02:43,125 --> 00:02:44,834 [coughing and chocking] 68 00:02:44,917 --> 00:02:46,458 Ah! Dad! What is that? 69 00:02:46,542 --> 00:02:49,000 Ooh, just a little cologne and breath spray. 70 00:02:49,083 --> 00:02:50,834 Oh-- Ohhh! 71 00:02:50,917 --> 00:02:52,542 -[hacking and gagging] -Uh, come on son. 72 00:02:52,625 --> 00:02:53,667 Let's get in the truck. 73 00:02:55,917 --> 00:02:58,083 Hey, Gabs! This is my... dad. 74 00:02:58,166 --> 00:02:59,417 Try not to make eye contact. 75 00:02:59,500 --> 00:03:00,959 Enchanté. 76 00:03:01,041 --> 00:03:04,667 -I am your chaperone chauffeur. -'Sup? 77 00:03:04,750 --> 00:03:06,166 [Cricket] Dad, please, never do that again. 78 00:03:06,291 --> 00:03:07,709 Would you kids like some music? 79 00:03:07,792 --> 00:03:10,291 -No, thanks. And you're doing it anyways. -[love song plays] 80 00:03:10,375 --> 00:03:12,625 So which America Rat sequel is your favorite? 81 00:03:12,709 --> 00:03:15,709 -What? -Which sequel is your favorite? 82 00:03:15,792 --> 00:03:17,709 -What?! -I said-- [groans] 83 00:03:18,792 --> 00:03:21,083 Sorry about that. You were sayin'? 84 00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:23,291 Well, if I had to choose, 85 00:03:23,375 --> 00:03:25,417 -I'd say-- -♪ You and me ♪ 86 00:03:25,500 --> 00:03:28,375 ♪ Are gonna be ♪ 87 00:03:28,458 --> 00:03:31,667 - ♪ An item forever ♪ -[groans] 88 00:03:31,750 --> 00:03:33,417 [Gabriella] Yeah... so... 89 00:03:33,500 --> 00:03:35,959 I really like America Rat 7, Part 2 and a half-- 90 00:03:36,041 --> 00:03:39,500 -♪ And I love, love ♪ -Oh yeah, that's a good one-- No! 91 00:03:39,583 --> 00:03:41,625 [Cricket] Well, I'd say my favorite America Rat 92 00:03:41,709 --> 00:03:44,875 is the one where Canada Cat... [shouts] turns Times Circle 93 00:03:44,959 --> 00:03:47,792 -into a giant litter box and-- -[song continues] 94 00:03:47,875 --> 00:03:53,709 [singer vocalizing] 95 00:03:53,792 --> 00:03:55,083 [Singer] I love you. 96 00:03:55,166 --> 00:03:57,250 So, what do you think this song's about? 97 00:03:57,333 --> 00:03:58,917 Hey, look! There's the movie theater! 98 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,667 That's two hours of uninterrupted silence. 99 00:04:01,792 --> 00:04:03,625 Uh Dad? You, uh... missed the turn. 100 00:04:03,709 --> 00:04:05,417 Actually, I thought we could grab a bite to eat 101 00:04:05,500 --> 00:04:06,625 before the movie starts. 102 00:04:06,709 --> 00:04:08,166 Ooh! Can we go to Burger Clown? 103 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:09,500 They've started doing this thing 104 00:04:09,583 --> 00:04:11,667 where they hide the toy inside the burger! 105 00:04:11,750 --> 00:04:13,375 It's supposed to be... disgusting. 106 00:04:13,458 --> 00:04:14,959 Yeah, Burger Clown! 107 00:04:15,041 --> 00:04:16,709 You heard the lady, so don't you dare saying-- 108 00:04:16,792 --> 00:04:19,792 Actually, I already have a great place in mind! [chuckles] 109 00:04:19,875 --> 00:04:21,625 Is your Dad planning something? 110 00:04:21,709 --> 00:04:23,458 Nah, he always makes this weird face 111 00:04:23,542 --> 00:04:24,875 when he's plannin' something really bad. 112 00:04:24,959 --> 00:04:26,166 and I haven't seen it yet, 113 00:04:26,250 --> 00:04:27,667 so we should be in the clear. 114 00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:29,333 We're... here. 115 00:04:30,375 --> 00:04:31,625 Ahhh! The face! 116 00:04:31,709 --> 00:04:33,000 What are you up to, old man? 117 00:04:33,166 --> 00:04:35,792 Look to the heavens and see for yourself. 118 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,750 Tonight, we eat at a spinning restaurant in the sky! 119 00:04:39,834 --> 00:04:41,583 Ohhh, no. 120 00:04:41,667 --> 00:04:42,917 -[elevator dings] -[gasps] 121 00:04:43,083 --> 00:04:44,375 What is this place?! 122 00:04:44,458 --> 00:04:46,291 Sweet, mournful music. 123 00:04:46,375 --> 00:04:48,083 Rich people that don't smile when they laugh. 124 00:04:48,166 --> 00:04:49,375 [snooty chuckle] 125 00:04:49,458 --> 00:04:52,375 And moody, romantic lighting that leads to... 126 00:04:52,458 --> 00:04:54,041 Mmmwah! 127 00:04:54,917 --> 00:04:55,959 [moans] 128 00:04:56,125 --> 00:04:57,625 As the restaurant slowly spins, 129 00:04:57,709 --> 00:04:59,583 your table has an excellent view of the city. 130 00:04:59,667 --> 00:05:01,458 And if there is any dish you'd like to start with, 131 00:05:01,542 --> 00:05:02,875 I'm happy to place an order. 132 00:05:02,959 --> 00:05:06,667 Hm. It's tough to pick from... the quarto form-a-guy, 133 00:05:06,750 --> 00:05:08,875 the crust-ineye with pros-cutto, 134 00:05:08,959 --> 00:05:10,458 or the gnocki baloney. 135 00:05:10,542 --> 00:05:12,750 You know what, let's just go for the ol' breadsticks 136 00:05:12,834 --> 00:05:14,333 with marinara. 137 00:05:14,417 --> 00:05:15,875 [strained] Very good, sir. 138 00:05:15,959 --> 00:05:17,792 It's for my son's first date. 139 00:05:17,875 --> 00:05:19,458 -Dad! -Hum?! 140 00:05:19,542 --> 00:05:21,750 You're right, son. The music is all wrong! 141 00:05:21,834 --> 00:05:23,542 You kids sit tight. We'll be right back. 142 00:05:23,625 --> 00:05:25,583 [sighs] Aw man, Gabriella, 143 00:05:25,667 --> 00:05:28,083 I'm sorry my Dad's bein' all weird and whatnot. 144 00:05:28,166 --> 00:05:29,917 Oh, my gosh, I'm glad you said something 145 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,792 because... wow. 146 00:05:31,875 --> 00:05:33,458 Him taking us to this mushy restaurant 147 00:05:33,542 --> 00:05:35,250 was all his idea, I swear! 148 00:05:35,333 --> 00:05:36,875 [chuckles] don't let him get to you. 149 00:05:36,959 --> 00:05:38,083 We'll make this dinner fun. 150 00:05:38,166 --> 00:05:40,917 This place is full of snooty rich people. 151 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,500 And there is no one in the world 152 00:05:42,583 --> 00:05:44,917 more fun to prank... than a snooty rich person. 153 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:46,125 Pranking the rich? 154 00:05:46,208 --> 00:05:48,750 That is the first good idea 155 00:05:48,834 --> 00:05:49,875 I have heard all night! 156 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:51,750 -C'mon, let's go! -[they chuckle] 157 00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:53,834 Hey, kids! I found this chocolate fountain. 158 00:05:53,917 --> 00:05:56,792 I thought we could-- Huh? Where'd they go? 159 00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,834 -Cheers! To money! -[snooty laughter] 160 00:05:59,917 --> 00:06:01,750 [evil laughter] 161 00:06:01,834 --> 00:06:04,709 Hats off... to being rich! 162 00:06:04,792 --> 00:06:07,291 -[gasps] -Ohh... ohh... 163 00:06:07,375 --> 00:06:09,917 Oh, no! My worst fear has come true! 164 00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,375 I look silly! 165 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:14,542 Such vulgarity. Come dear, we're leaving. 166 00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,000 -Whoa! -Richard! 167 00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:17,875 What the devil? Someone seems 168 00:06:17,959 --> 00:06:20,458 to have tied my ankles together with pasta! 169 00:06:20,542 --> 00:06:22,125 Blast, it's al dente! 170 00:06:22,208 --> 00:06:23,875 Throw me a fork, Martha. 171 00:06:23,959 --> 00:06:26,208 I'm gonna have to eat my way out of this one. 172 00:06:26,291 --> 00:06:28,834 [chews] 173 00:06:28,917 --> 00:06:30,208 Cricket. 174 00:06:31,583 --> 00:06:33,291 Oh, look! My dinner is ruined 175 00:06:33,375 --> 00:06:34,959 on the one night a year I go out! 176 00:06:35,041 --> 00:06:36,917 [insane laughter] 177 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,625 Joke's on me I guess. 178 00:06:38,709 --> 00:06:39,667 -Yeah! -Yeah! 179 00:06:40,834 --> 00:06:42,750 My love? Where are you my love? 180 00:06:42,834 --> 00:06:44,583 Follow the sound of my lips! 181 00:06:44,667 --> 00:06:46,166 -[kissing] -[struggling] 182 00:06:47,208 --> 00:06:49,792 Somebody toucha my spaghet! 183 00:06:49,875 --> 00:06:52,834 Who on Earth is doing all this?! Ahh! 184 00:06:52,917 --> 00:06:54,625 [laughing] 185 00:06:54,709 --> 00:06:56,667 Try dipping one in marinara. 186 00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,792 -[Rich snob screams] -Whoa, good suggestion! 187 00:06:58,875 --> 00:07:02,375 -How should we top that? -Hmm. I'm not sure if we can... 188 00:07:02,458 --> 00:07:04,834 Wait a minute. I got it! 189 00:07:04,959 --> 00:07:07,625 Let's get this place really spinnin'. 190 00:07:07,709 --> 00:07:11,041 -[quiet laughter] -[Cricket groans then laughs] 191 00:07:11,125 --> 00:07:12,959 Is it just me or was this weirdly easy-- 192 00:07:13,041 --> 00:07:14,834 Whoa! Yeah, this makes sense. 193 00:07:14,917 --> 00:07:17,000 Just what on earth are you two doing?! 194 00:07:17,125 --> 00:07:20,041 Look Dad, I'm sorry for pullin' those sick pranks. 195 00:07:20,125 --> 00:07:22,542 -[fake cough] Really sick. -And ruinin' the restaurant-- 196 00:07:22,625 --> 00:07:27,291 No, what you're doing is ruining what could be a perfect first date! 197 00:07:27,375 --> 00:07:30,583 What?! I told this is not a date! 198 00:07:30,667 --> 00:07:32,250 Not at this rate it's not! 199 00:07:32,333 --> 00:07:33,875 And that's why I am calling upon 200 00:07:33,959 --> 00:07:35,750 my authority as a chaperone! 201 00:07:35,834 --> 00:07:38,208 You two are gonna do this first date right! 202 00:07:38,291 --> 00:07:40,500 We'll stay here all night if we have to. 203 00:07:40,583 --> 00:07:45,125 -All... night. [gulp] -[they gasp] 204 00:07:45,250 --> 00:07:47,750 Now we're gonna have a proper date. 205 00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:50,500 Take small bites of food. Do not touch the candle! 206 00:07:50,583 --> 00:07:52,750 We do not glug the water. 207 00:07:52,834 --> 00:07:55,083 We sip-sip-sip-sip. 208 00:07:55,166 --> 00:07:56,917 Tuck your napkin in your shirt. 209 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,709 And give your date compliments. 210 00:07:58,792 --> 00:08:01,834 And when we're done with that, we give 'em more compliments! 211 00:08:01,917 --> 00:08:04,166 Can we get some music over here? 212 00:08:04,250 --> 00:08:08,917 Do you know the song "I love love, love love love, love... you"? 213 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,875 Uh... yes, I know that tune. 214 00:08:10,959 --> 00:08:13,208 -You know what to do. -Sir, this is one dollar. 215 00:08:13,291 --> 00:08:14,792 One, two, three, four! 216 00:08:14,875 --> 00:08:17,417 -[music playing] -Ya hear that? 217 00:08:17,500 --> 00:08:19,208 It's that song you liked from the truck! 218 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:21,000 What are the odds?! 219 00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:22,417 Now... date! 220 00:08:26,041 --> 00:08:28,792 Now to watch the perfect date unfold. 221 00:08:28,875 --> 00:08:31,291 Small bites, small bites, small bites. Yes! 222 00:08:31,375 --> 00:08:34,792 Small sips. Yes! Yes, yes! 223 00:08:34,875 --> 00:08:36,875 Now, Cricket, bring it home with the compliments! 224 00:08:37,041 --> 00:08:40,041 Me-me-me li-ike your-- 225 00:08:40,125 --> 00:08:41,875 [sobs] 226 00:08:42,041 --> 00:08:44,542 Hmm. Didn't quite stick the landing. 227 00:08:44,625 --> 00:08:47,458 Is this date headed south? If things were really that bad, 228 00:08:47,542 --> 00:08:49,875 Cricket would be making that face he always makes. 229 00:08:49,959 --> 00:08:52,792 [sobbing] 230 00:08:52,875 --> 00:08:53,959 Ahh! The face! 231 00:08:54,083 --> 00:08:56,291 Oh, the boy looks miserable. 232 00:08:56,375 --> 00:08:59,625 Cricket trusted me to be a good chaperone, and I messed it up big time. 233 00:08:59,709 --> 00:09:02,000 Dang it, Bill, ya gotta do something to fix this! 234 00:09:03,333 --> 00:09:04,834 Their final prank. 235 00:09:04,917 --> 00:09:07,041 Wait, sir! Don't pull that lever! 236 00:09:07,125 --> 00:09:09,083 You'll ruin your son's date! 237 00:09:09,166 --> 00:09:11,000 It's not a date. 238 00:09:14,959 --> 00:09:16,500 Uh, what's happening? 239 00:09:16,583 --> 00:09:17,583 Ohh, no! 240 00:09:17,667 --> 00:09:20,250 [screaming] 241 00:09:20,333 --> 00:09:21,667 Uhh... Ahh! 242 00:09:21,750 --> 00:09:24,750 Oh! Hey-ah! Yeah! Ooh! 243 00:09:24,834 --> 00:09:27,875 -[elevator dings] -[screaming] 244 00:09:27,959 --> 00:09:30,375 Next time, Terry... I pick the restaurant. 245 00:09:30,458 --> 00:09:31,875 -Oof! -Oof! 246 00:09:31,959 --> 00:09:34,458 -Oof! [laughs] -Whoa! [laughs] 247 00:09:34,542 --> 00:09:38,041 -Dad! -Hey, kids! 248 00:09:38,166 --> 00:09:40,667 Before I black out from all the blood rushing to my head, 249 00:09:40,750 --> 00:09:43,583 I just want to say... [groans] 250 00:09:43,667 --> 00:09:46,500 Son, I'm sorry for putting so much pressure on you tonight. 251 00:09:46,583 --> 00:09:48,208 Thanks, Dad. I needed to hear that. 252 00:09:48,291 --> 00:09:50,500 I'm just a kid right now, and I wanna have fun! 253 00:09:50,583 --> 00:09:52,667 Not worry about date stuff. Hup. 254 00:09:52,750 --> 00:09:55,917 Loud and clear. [groans] Agh! 255 00:09:56,000 --> 00:10:00,000 And Gabriella, I'm sorry for making this whole night really weird! 256 00:10:00,083 --> 00:10:01,750 Nah, it's cool. 257 00:10:01,834 --> 00:10:03,750 [screaming] 258 00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:12,000 -Ah... Whoa! -Whoa, he-heh. 259 00:10:12,083 --> 00:10:13,959 -Aww! Oof! -Aww! Oof! 260 00:10:14,041 --> 00:10:15,917 [Gabriella] Uh, help, please! 261 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,625 -[gasps] Gabriella! -[gasps] Gabriella! 262 00:10:21,333 --> 00:10:24,709 That was not only the greatest thing I have ever experienced, 263 00:10:24,792 --> 00:10:26,959 you are the best chaperone ever! 264 00:10:27,125 --> 00:10:28,917 And if things always gonna get this crazy, 265 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:31,041 I'm gonna need you to chaperone for us all the time! 266 00:10:31,208 --> 00:10:34,000 [chuckles] Well, Cricket, what do you think? 267 00:10:34,083 --> 00:10:36,208 Maybe you just drop us off and pick us up. 268 00:10:36,291 --> 00:10:37,667 It's a date. 269 00:10:37,750 --> 00:10:39,417 Now looks like we have just enough time 270 00:10:39,500 --> 00:10:42,750 to see a certain Rat win the heart of a nation. 271 00:10:42,834 --> 00:10:44,417 -Yay! -Yay! 272 00:10:44,542 --> 00:10:47,000 Just where do you think you're going? 273 00:10:47,208 --> 00:10:49,959 Oh. Right. We destroyed another restaurant. 274 00:10:53,083 --> 00:10:55,875 -Huh? -Ha-ha, oh that's how it's gonna be, eh? 275 00:10:55,959 --> 00:10:58,041 -Take that! -[they all laugh] 276 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,792 Oh! They'll be tellin' this story at your wedding! 277 00:11:00,875 --> 00:11:02,083 [Cricket] What? 278 00:11:02,667 --> 00:11:04,041 [Corbyn] If you don't make room 279 00:11:04,125 --> 00:11:07,125 for my soup, I am going to scream! 280 00:11:07,208 --> 00:11:09,458 [Jayme] Corbyn, we all have soup on this table, 281 00:11:09,542 --> 00:11:10,834 there's just no room. 282 00:11:10,917 --> 00:11:12,458 [Corbyn] Ahh! My soup! 283 00:11:12,542 --> 00:11:14,583 -Ahhhh! -Corbyn! Grr! 284 00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:16,875 [Announcer] You're watching Snug Lil' Room! 285 00:11:17,125 --> 00:11:19,083 -What is this?! -Alice! Oh. 286 00:11:19,166 --> 00:11:21,667 -Well, uh... it's... -[Announcer] Three dozen young adults 287 00:11:21,750 --> 00:11:24,667 trapped in one extremely cramped bachelor apartment! 288 00:11:24,750 --> 00:11:28,458 It's a trashy reality show. I-like-it-don't-judge-me. 289 00:11:28,542 --> 00:11:30,291 So what, it's like a soap opera? 290 00:11:30,417 --> 00:11:33,041 No. It's real. Maybe. 291 00:11:33,333 --> 00:11:34,792 Count me in. Scootch. 292 00:11:34,875 --> 00:11:37,709 -Gladly! -What on earth are y'all watchin'? 293 00:11:37,792 --> 00:11:40,500 Some show where everyone's up in each others biz-nizz! 294 00:11:40,583 --> 00:11:43,959 [sobs] If Marco bumps into me like one more time... 295 00:11:44,166 --> 00:11:46,875 - Oops. -[screams] Eat it! 296 00:11:47,083 --> 00:11:49,583 It mostly shows that people go crazy 297 00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:50,917 when they don't have their own space. 298 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,542 I dunno, Gloria. 299 00:11:52,625 --> 00:11:53,875 Cricket and I have been sharing a room 300 00:11:53,959 --> 00:11:55,291 since we were little babies. 301 00:11:55,375 --> 00:11:56,917 -And we're doin' good. -Yah! 302 00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:59,083 Tilly's easy! She's like a house plant. 303 00:11:59,166 --> 00:12:00,875 And everyone loves livin' with Cricket. 304 00:12:00,959 --> 00:12:03,625 He's great! Anyways, goodbye. 305 00:12:03,709 --> 00:12:06,959 I'm gonna go in the yard and try to ride that goat! 306 00:12:07,125 --> 00:12:10,583 And I am going to entertain myself quietly in our bedroom. 307 00:12:10,667 --> 00:12:12,208 See? A houseplant. 308 00:12:12,291 --> 00:12:14,583 Now let's get a goat! 309 00:12:15,625 --> 00:12:17,542 What a ridiculous notion. 310 00:12:17,625 --> 00:12:19,917 To think that Cricket and I, brother and sister, 311 00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,834 would ever butt heads! 312 00:12:21,917 --> 00:12:24,834 Clearly our relationship is as solid and sound 313 00:12:24,917 --> 00:12:26,333 as this house of cards. 314 00:12:27,875 --> 00:12:28,875 Hmm... 315 00:12:30,834 --> 00:12:33,208 Cricket's dang secret entrance. 316 00:12:33,291 --> 00:12:35,834 -[Cricket laughing] -[Goat bleats angrily.] 317 00:12:35,917 --> 00:12:37,792 Ohh! Aw. 318 00:12:37,875 --> 00:12:41,208 So this is why it's always so drafty in our room. 319 00:12:41,291 --> 00:12:42,917 Hum?! What was that, Saxon? 320 00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:45,959 Well, I could do that. 321 00:12:46,041 --> 00:12:47,959 Sharing a room should be about considering 322 00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:49,667 each others needs after all. 323 00:12:49,750 --> 00:12:52,917 And I need it to be less drafty in here. 324 00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,208 [Jayme] Melanie, if you don't get out of my chair, 325 00:12:55,375 --> 00:12:57,500 I'll peel you like a grape! 326 00:12:57,583 --> 00:13:01,166 You always say that, but you never have the-- 327 00:13:01,250 --> 00:13:02,959 Ah crud, my brain broke! 328 00:13:03,083 --> 00:13:04,542 No, the cables out. 329 00:13:04,625 --> 00:13:05,875 -Bill? -Bill! 330 00:13:05,959 --> 00:13:08,917 -Bill! -[both] Bill! 331 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:12,250 Hey, you two. I think the wind knocked out your cable connection. 332 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,750 Fix it or else I'll peel you like a grape! 333 00:13:14,834 --> 00:13:17,834 -But... I'm your son! -[laughs] 334 00:13:17,917 --> 00:13:19,834 Well, I'm glad I can still make you laugh. 335 00:13:19,917 --> 00:13:22,000 OK. I'll be outside fixin' the cable. 336 00:13:22,125 --> 00:13:24,375 Heheh... Now what? 337 00:13:24,458 --> 00:13:27,000 There. Stable and harmonious. 338 00:13:27,083 --> 00:13:28,834 -[bang] -[Cricket] Aw! 339 00:13:29,041 --> 00:13:32,917 -[bang] -[Cricket moans] Ah, what the heck? 340 00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:36,417 Who ding danged closed up the ding dang, aw! 341 00:13:36,500 --> 00:13:39,959 Tilly! Call the police! Someone boarded up my hole! 342 00:13:40,125 --> 00:13:41,834 I boarded up your hole. 343 00:13:42,041 --> 00:13:44,041 Uh, to help me how?! 344 00:13:44,208 --> 00:13:45,917 Well, I was getting chilly, 345 00:13:45,959 --> 00:13:48,458 and if we are both considerate of each others needs, then-- 346 00:13:48,542 --> 00:13:51,125 Tilly, you don't have any needs! Right? 347 00:13:51,208 --> 00:13:53,291 Houseplants are supposed to be easy. 348 00:13:53,417 --> 00:13:56,333 That's you. You're supposed to be easy! 349 00:13:56,417 --> 00:13:59,750 Grr! I am not a houseplant! 350 00:13:59,834 --> 00:14:01,583 And you are selfish! 351 00:14:01,667 --> 00:14:04,917 Hah? Ha-bah? Wha? Heh? Hah? 352 00:14:06,333 --> 00:14:08,083 How long has it been since the cable went out? 353 00:14:08,166 --> 00:14:09,667 -Five minutes. -Gaaah! 354 00:14:09,750 --> 00:14:11,792 I think I'm going through drama withdrawal! 355 00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:13,792 The pettiness... the politics! 356 00:14:13,875 --> 00:14:15,834 The lying! The screaming! 357 00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,750 -The back stabbing! -The back stabbing! 358 00:14:17,834 --> 00:14:19,667 I never knew how badly I needed 359 00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:22,500 to watch idiots stuck in a house fight with each other! 360 00:14:22,583 --> 00:14:24,250 -[Tilly] Well-- -[Cricket] Unbelievable! 361 00:14:24,333 --> 00:14:25,875 -Listen to me for once! -OK, I'm up to here with you. 362 00:14:25,959 --> 00:14:27,917 -This is my room too! -You can't just board up... 363 00:14:27,959 --> 00:14:29,792 You thinkin' what I'm thinkin'? 364 00:14:29,875 --> 00:14:32,375 Tilly was just way out of line. It's my room too, 365 00:14:32,458 --> 00:14:34,834 I should be able to have a secret entrance! 366 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,000 This feels weird. 367 00:14:36,166 --> 00:14:38,291 Oh, no. Just keep monologuing to us. 368 00:14:38,375 --> 00:14:41,000 You were talkin' about how upset Tilly made you? 369 00:14:41,166 --> 00:14:44,291 Right! So. Tilly thinks she can mess with my stuff, 370 00:14:44,375 --> 00:14:46,375 then I can mess with hers, too. 371 00:14:46,458 --> 00:14:49,041 Today has been a bit of a wake-up call for Tilly. 372 00:14:49,208 --> 00:14:51,959 After all, our bedroom belongs to both Cricket and me. 373 00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:55,750 So I should have a say in whether or not we should have a hole in the wall. 374 00:14:55,834 --> 00:14:58,500 I feel my only option is to retaliate. 375 00:14:58,583 --> 00:15:01,375 Ooh-hoo-hoo! A juicy conflict. 376 00:15:01,458 --> 00:15:04,792 Oh, wait. Do your Gramma duties require you to do anything about this? 377 00:15:04,875 --> 00:15:07,792 It'll build Character if they figure it out on their own. 378 00:15:07,959 --> 00:15:10,208 Then retaliate away! 379 00:15:10,291 --> 00:15:12,667 Now, if you'll excuse us, we're gonna go make popcorn. 380 00:15:12,750 --> 00:15:14,000 [laughing] 381 00:15:15,083 --> 00:15:17,083 Hey! What do you think you're doing? 382 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:19,709 Well, since you boarded up my secret entrance, 383 00:15:19,792 --> 00:15:23,500 I figured the new rule is each of us can do whatever we want. 384 00:15:23,583 --> 00:15:27,250 So I'mma use your fancy schmancy mirror. Mwah! Mwah! 385 00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:29,875 In that case, I think I'd like to have Phoenix 386 00:15:29,959 --> 00:15:31,834 sleep by me for a change! 387 00:15:32,166 --> 00:15:34,834 Okay, that's pushing it! Phoenix always sleeps by me! 388 00:15:34,917 --> 00:15:36,875 She's my dog too, Cricket. 389 00:15:36,959 --> 00:15:38,959 You know I'm starting to think Gloria was right. 390 00:15:39,041 --> 00:15:41,875 Maybe this tiny room ain't big enough for the both of us. 391 00:15:41,959 --> 00:15:45,000 -Whatchu tryin' ta say? -What I'm tryin' ta say is, 392 00:15:45,291 --> 00:15:47,375 there is only one way to solve this. 393 00:15:47,458 --> 00:15:50,667 -What do you think we missed? -What in blue blazes? 394 00:15:52,083 --> 00:15:54,375 -[Cricket groans] -[both groaning] 395 00:15:54,458 --> 00:15:58,083 -You stay outta my half! -And you stay out of mine! Hum! 396 00:15:58,250 --> 00:16:00,000 Oh, my gosh! 397 00:16:00,083 --> 00:16:02,750 You guys literally split your room in two! 398 00:16:02,834 --> 00:16:04,625 Wait, why didn't you divide it in half? 399 00:16:04,709 --> 00:16:05,709 -We did. -We did. 400 00:16:05,792 --> 00:16:07,917 No, no, like a line down the center. 401 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,041 Left and right sides? 402 00:16:09,125 --> 00:16:10,417 Gloria, that's ridiculous. 403 00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:12,083 Left and right change all the time. 404 00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:13,917 This is left, this is right. 405 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,542 Now that's left and that's right. 406 00:16:15,625 --> 00:16:17,875 And now this is left, and that's right! 407 00:16:17,959 --> 00:16:19,000 See? No good. 408 00:16:19,083 --> 00:16:21,083 But up and down are always true. 409 00:16:21,166 --> 00:16:23,041 That's crazy. Am I right, Alice? 410 00:16:23,125 --> 00:16:25,834 Good work, kids. Makes perfect sense. 411 00:16:25,917 --> 00:16:27,000 Ugh, never mind. 412 00:16:27,125 --> 00:16:29,000 I obviously got the better end of the deal, 413 00:16:29,083 --> 00:16:30,542 what with the floor and all. 414 00:16:30,625 --> 00:16:32,583 I disagree because I can do this. 415 00:16:33,834 --> 00:16:35,375 Whee! Ah. 416 00:16:35,458 --> 00:16:37,583 See? Sky dwellers rule. 417 00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,500 What?! That's so cool! 418 00:16:39,583 --> 00:16:41,166 [coughs] I mean, lame! 419 00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,500 Hey, Tilly, watch this. 420 00:16:42,583 --> 00:16:45,583 It's in your room, now it's not! 421 00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:46,875 It's in your room, now it's not! Ha-ha! 422 00:16:46,959 --> 00:16:48,667 Really?! Your shoe? 423 00:16:48,750 --> 00:16:50,375 -[groans] -I'm team Cricket. 424 00:16:50,458 --> 00:16:52,125 -He's funny! -I'm team Tilly. 425 00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:53,458 She's savage. 426 00:16:53,542 --> 00:16:55,834 Well, at least you're out of ammo. Aw! 427 00:16:55,917 --> 00:16:57,500 A third shoe?! 428 00:16:57,583 --> 00:17:00,250 Ha-ha! Well, this is fun. But I need a juice break. 429 00:17:01,667 --> 00:17:03,542 Ahh! Aww. 430 00:17:03,625 --> 00:17:05,291 Oh! Whoopsie! 431 00:17:05,375 --> 00:17:07,917 Did I leave my ba-na-na in the hallway? 432 00:17:08,041 --> 00:17:10,542 Oh, whoopsie. Did I leave my lasso 433 00:17:10,625 --> 00:17:12,000 -around your ankle? -Whoa! 434 00:17:12,125 --> 00:17:14,625 How is a Tilly supposed to use the hallway 435 00:17:14,709 --> 00:17:16,375 with banana peels lying around? 436 00:17:16,458 --> 00:17:19,000 [spits] And how is a Cricket supposed to walk 437 00:17:19,083 --> 00:17:21,333 with lassos lying around? 438 00:17:21,417 --> 00:17:24,875 Looks like our problem is still unresolved! 439 00:17:24,959 --> 00:17:26,458 -Hmmm! -Hmmm! 440 00:17:26,542 --> 00:17:27,834 -Hmmm? -Hmmm? 441 00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:31,625 -We split the house! -We split the house. 442 00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:33,291 Kitchen? Split. 443 00:17:33,375 --> 00:17:36,208 I control the liquid juice. 444 00:17:36,333 --> 00:17:40,917 I actually prefer frozen juice concentrate. 445 00:17:41,083 --> 00:17:42,750 Livingroom. Split! 446 00:17:42,834 --> 00:17:44,667 [groans, groans] 447 00:17:44,750 --> 00:17:46,834 [whispering] That's so cool! 448 00:17:48,041 --> 00:17:50,583 Agh! Are you jealous of my grabbing forks? 449 00:17:50,667 --> 00:17:52,458 Are you jealous of my TV? 450 00:17:53,834 --> 00:17:55,417 Wait, what happened to the cable? 451 00:17:55,500 --> 00:17:58,166 Bathroom! Yah! Split! 452 00:17:58,291 --> 00:18:00,834 Just close the door. I can figure this out. 453 00:18:00,917 --> 00:18:02,417 [whistles] 454 00:18:02,500 --> 00:18:05,208 Gramma and Gloria? Split. 455 00:18:05,291 --> 00:18:07,125 I get their heads and faces. 456 00:18:07,208 --> 00:18:08,875 Have fun with butts, Cricket. 457 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,834 Pfft! Joke's on Tilly! 458 00:18:10,917 --> 00:18:12,709 I'll talk to butts! I love it! 459 00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:16,041 Ugh. Anyways, how are you two doing today? 460 00:18:17,291 --> 00:18:18,375 OK, this stinks. 461 00:18:18,458 --> 00:18:20,583 I'mma do something about this. Hup! 462 00:18:21,959 --> 00:18:24,333 -[thunder] -[Bill] Ooh, that doesn't sound good. 463 00:18:24,417 --> 00:18:26,792 [Cricket] Gaaaah-- Oof! Ugh... 464 00:18:26,875 --> 00:18:29,166 Ha-ha! I got my secret exit back! 465 00:18:29,250 --> 00:18:31,250 How you likin' that breeze, Tilly? 466 00:18:31,333 --> 00:18:32,959 Hmph. Two can play these games. 467 00:18:33,083 --> 00:18:35,208 [groans, groans] 468 00:18:35,291 --> 00:18:37,458 Oh man, I thought the two of you went to bed. 469 00:18:37,542 --> 00:18:39,333 I'm gonna put on some coffee! BRB! 470 00:18:39,417 --> 00:18:41,917 Uh! Cricket... Uh. Looks like I... 471 00:18:42,083 --> 00:18:45,000 Uh! Have a secret exit too. Ha! 472 00:18:45,917 --> 00:18:47,750 Oh, look. Rain. 473 00:18:47,834 --> 00:18:49,041 Delicious. 474 00:18:49,125 --> 00:18:51,500 Hey, what's goin on-- haa... Aahh? 475 00:18:51,959 --> 00:18:54,125 What are y'all doin' to my house?! 476 00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:57,417 I must admit, I think we let things get out of hand. 477 00:18:57,500 --> 00:18:59,792 We'll have to stop exploiting the the kids for fun. 478 00:18:59,875 --> 00:19:01,792 -And intervene. -What?! 479 00:19:01,875 --> 00:19:03,041 But we can't stop here! 480 00:19:03,125 --> 00:19:05,125 I need... the drama. 481 00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:07,875 Well, it has to end soon before my house falls apart. 482 00:19:07,959 --> 00:19:11,041 Don't these show have like a big finale or something? 483 00:19:11,125 --> 00:19:12,959 Yes, they do. 484 00:19:17,125 --> 00:19:22,000 [coughs] Standing before me tonight are two strong contestants. 485 00:19:22,083 --> 00:19:24,583 Cricket, you are selfish and irresponsible. 486 00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:26,959 And it's nice to see you get put in your place for once. 487 00:19:27,083 --> 00:19:30,875 I mean, it's true. But I don't. Take. Criticism. 488 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,875 Tilly, you grew out of your nice shell for the sake of justice. 489 00:19:34,959 --> 00:19:38,875 I respect that. But I'm 99% sure you ate all of my cherry lip balm. 490 00:19:40,375 --> 00:19:43,792 It's clear that the two of you can no longer share a space. 491 00:19:43,875 --> 00:19:46,458 So whoever receive this rose may stay. 492 00:19:46,542 --> 00:19:51,959 The other... must... pack your bags and leave! 493 00:19:52,125 --> 00:19:53,750 -Wait-- Leave?! -Wait-- Leave?! 494 00:19:53,834 --> 00:19:57,375 Yes. Leave. Move out. Scram! 495 00:19:57,458 --> 00:19:59,792 No, hold on. I don't want Tilly to move out! 496 00:19:59,875 --> 00:20:01,917 And I don't want Cricket to move out either! 497 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,959 -Aww, ya mean it, Tilly? -I mean it, brother. 498 00:20:05,041 --> 00:20:08,166 Well, too bad! That's not how reality TV works! 499 00:20:08,291 --> 00:20:10,458 One of you has to leave the island! 500 00:20:10,542 --> 00:20:12,375 One of you has to go! 501 00:20:12,458 --> 00:20:15,542 And that person... is... 502 00:20:15,625 --> 00:20:18,542 -[inhales] -Now hold on one second. 503 00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:21,917 -Ahh! -What is this? 504 00:20:22,125 --> 00:20:23,959 Whoever gets kicked out of their room 505 00:20:24,041 --> 00:20:27,333 must live in the basement with Gloria. 506 00:20:27,458 --> 00:20:28,333 What?! 507 00:20:28,458 --> 00:20:31,125 [sobs] Betrayal. 508 00:20:31,291 --> 00:20:32,750 So go ahead, Gloria. 509 00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:34,125 Choose who has to go. 510 00:20:34,208 --> 00:20:36,375 I didn't know we'd get to live with Gloria! 511 00:20:36,458 --> 00:20:38,333 Let's both live with Gloria! 512 00:20:38,417 --> 00:20:40,291 -Gloria! Gloria! -Nooo! 513 00:20:40,417 --> 00:20:43,875 Ugh! Die! Die! Die! Die, die, die! Die! 514 00:20:43,959 --> 00:20:46,333 It's suddenly occurred to me that it's wrong 515 00:20:46,417 --> 00:20:48,959 to view real people's suffering as entertainment. 516 00:20:49,041 --> 00:20:50,917 You guys can keep sharing your room. 517 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,333 And therefore not sleeping anywhere near me. 518 00:20:53,458 --> 00:20:54,959 -All right! -Whoo-hoo! 519 00:20:55,041 --> 00:20:57,000 I'm sorry for calling you a house plant, Tilly. 520 00:20:57,083 --> 00:20:59,417 We can keep my secret exit closed if you want. 521 00:20:59,500 --> 00:21:01,834 Well, how about this, you can keep the secret exit, 522 00:21:01,917 --> 00:21:04,875 and I can hang up some wind chimes to enjoy the breeze! 523 00:21:04,959 --> 00:21:06,625 [loud noise] 524 00:21:06,709 --> 00:21:08,208 Guh! Well, I don't love it, 525 00:21:08,333 --> 00:21:10,375 but... it's a fair deal. 526 00:21:10,458 --> 00:21:12,792 Hey, guys! I finally fixed the cable. 527 00:21:12,875 --> 00:21:14,208 So you can go back to watching that show. 528 00:21:14,291 --> 00:21:15,875 -It's back! -Get outta my way! 529 00:21:15,959 --> 00:21:18,417 Wait, is it wrong to watch reality TV 530 00:21:18,500 --> 00:21:20,041 now that we know the harm it can cause? 531 00:21:20,125 --> 00:21:22,125 We don't know the people on TV, 532 00:21:22,208 --> 00:21:23,458 so it doesn't count! 533 00:21:23,542 --> 00:21:25,667 [cheer and laugh] 534 00:21:25,750 --> 00:21:28,834 Aw, they must've been real bored. Hm--? 535 00:21:28,917 --> 00:21:31,083 What on earth happened here?! 536 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:32,583 Good TV! 537 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:37,250 ♪ I got sweat in my eyes ♪ 538 00:21:37,333 --> 00:21:40,875 ♪ Lost a bet and Got bit by a hundred flies ♪ 539 00:21:40,959 --> 00:21:43,709 ♪ I fell out a big old tree ♪ 540 00:21:43,792 --> 00:21:46,542 ♪ Hit every branch and Scraped up both my knees ♪ 541 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,542 ♪ I got chased by dogs Licked by a frog ♪ 542 00:21:50,625 --> 00:21:52,125 ♪ Got a rash on my legs ♪ 543 00:21:52,291 --> 00:21:54,542 ♪ Dropped a dozen eggs ♪ 544 00:21:54,625 --> 00:21:56,125 ♪ I got splinters ♪ 545 00:21:56,208 --> 00:21:57,875 ♪ In seven of ten ♪ 546 00:21:57,959 --> 00:22:00,709 ♪ And tomorrow I'll do it all again ♪ 40688

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