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1
00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,459
-Good morning.
-Miss Fine, these were
delivered
for you.
2
00:00:03,493 --> 00:00:05,703
Oh, great.
3
00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:06,526
Ahh. Ms. Fine, filling in
for your cousin
4
00:00:07,203 --> 00:00:08,159
Mel the doorman again?
5
00:00:09,873 --> 00:00:12,443
I wish.
Is that a cushy job or what?
6
00:00:12,476 --> 00:00:15,509
All he does is open doors
and receive packages.
7
00:00:16,043 --> 00:00:17,276
A baboon could do that.
8
00:00:18,526 --> 00:00:21,359
Well, of course,
a highly trained baboon.
9
00:00:23,476 --> 00:00:25,176
Mr. Sheffield,
what do you
think?
10
00:00:25,209 --> 00:00:27,873
I'm gonna make some mingle
at the Yacht Club today.
11
00:00:27,159 --> 00:00:28,326
-Yacht Club?
-Uh huh.
12
00:00:28,359 --> 00:00:30,159
That's setting your sights
high,
isn't it?
13
00:00:30,193 --> 00:00:32,476
You know, I am not
the same chick I
was
14
00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:34,343
when I started
here
three years ago.
15
00:00:34,376 --> 00:00:37,043
I mean, I can't look for
love
in all the old joints,
16
00:00:37,373 --> 00:00:40,293
now that I've acquired
so much class and panache.
17
00:00:41,426 --> 00:00:44,393
There's that Band-Aid
that came off in the
bathtub.
18
00:00:46,509 --> 00:00:49,176
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
19
00:00:49,209 --> 00:00:52,873
♪♪ She was workingin a bridal shopin Flushing, Queens ♪♪
20
00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:53,359
♪♪ 'Til her boyfriendkicked her out ♪♪
21
00:00:53,393 --> 00:00:55,243
♪♪ in one of thosecrushing scenes ♪♪
22
00:00:55,276 --> 00:00:57,209
♪♪ What was she to do?Where was she to go? ♪♪
23
00:00:57,243 --> 00:01:00,543
♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
24
00:01:00,873 --> 00:01:03,043
♪♪ So over the bridgefrom Flushing to theSheffield's door ♪♪
25
00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:05,376
♪♪ She was thereto sell makeup,but the father saw more ♪♪
26
00:01:05,409 --> 00:01:07,476
♪♪ She had style!She had flair!She was there! ♪♪
27
00:01:07,509 --> 00:01:11,276
♪♪ That's howshe became the nanny! ♪♪
28
00:01:11,309 --> 00:01:14,259
♪♪ Who would have guessed thatthe girl we've described ♪♪
29
00:01:14,293 --> 00:01:16,359
♪♪ was just exactly whatthe doctor prescribed? ♪♪
30
00:01:16,393 --> 00:01:18,159
♪♪ Now the fatherfinds her beguiling ♪♪
31
00:01:18,193 --> 00:01:19,359
♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
32
00:01:19,393 --> 00:01:20,459
♪♪ And the kidsare actually smiling ♪♪
33
00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:22,176
♪♪ Such♪♪
34
00:01:22,209 --> 00:01:23,376
♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
35
00:01:23,409 --> 00:01:26,443
♪♪ when everybody elseis wearing tan ♪♪
36
00:01:27,493 --> 00:01:29,509
♪♪ The flashy girlfrom Flushing ♪♪
37
00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:31,343
♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
38
00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:36,326
[♪♪♪]
39
00:01:38,476 --> 00:01:40,376
Sweetheart, thank God
you're home.
40
00:01:40,409 --> 00:01:44,226
I have to warn you,
you're in terrible
danger.
41
00:01:44,259 --> 00:01:46,293
Did Niles make a noodle kugel?
42
00:01:47,376 --> 00:01:50,493
Ma, would you
concentrate.
Pretend you're full.
43
00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:54,703
Did Aunt Freida call?
44
00:01:54,143 --> 00:01:56,343
Yeah, she said her
apartment
was being painted.
45
00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:58,873
So I said she could stay here.
46
00:01:58,159 --> 00:01:59,526
Oy! I am too late.
47
00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,209
-She's been thrown out of her
apartment, she is broke.
-[FRAN GASPS]
48
00:02:02,243 --> 00:02:05,393
They even took her nightclub
to pay for her taxes.
49
00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:08,326
No more Freida's Le Freak?
50
00:02:08,359 --> 00:02:11,309
That place
was like an
institution.
51
00:02:11,343 --> 00:02:13,276
Has the city no soul?
52
00:02:13,309 --> 00:02:15,293
They're putting in a Loehmann's.
53
00:02:15,326 --> 00:02:18,159
Oh, you know,
you really can't fight
progress.
54
00:02:19,259 --> 00:02:21,309
She's hitting up
everyone in the family
55
00:02:21,343 --> 00:02:22,443
for a place to stay.
56
00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,373
How could this happen?
57
00:02:24,703 --> 00:02:26,276
The woman's buried
five husbands.
58
00:02:26,309 --> 00:02:30,226
You'd think that she can
live off what she found
in their old pants'
pockets.
59
00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,426
What happened to Fred,
her millionaire
boyfriend?
60
00:02:34,459 --> 00:02:37,409
Well, she's afraid,
if he knows that she's broke
61
00:02:37,443 --> 00:02:40,476
he'll think that she's after
him
for his money.
62
00:02:40,509 --> 00:02:42,143
Well, isn't she?
63
00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:45,159
If she has a brain
in that fat head of hers she
is.
64
00:02:46,226 --> 00:02:47,326
Poor Aunt Freida.
65
00:02:47,359 --> 00:02:50,343
She came this close to making
it
as a singer...
66
00:02:50,376 --> 00:02:54,143
and her damn boyfriend Steve
had to go meet Edie.
67
00:02:54,409 --> 00:02:56,243
[DOORBELL RINGS]
68
00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:59,226
Well, good luck getting rid
of Freida now.
69
00:02:59,259 --> 00:03:03,543
She's like a Cesarean scar.
You'll have her for life.
70
00:03:06,309 --> 00:03:09,226
-Fri.
-Syl.
71
00:03:14,043 --> 00:03:17,203
So how are Morty's mumps?
72
00:03:17,543 --> 00:03:19,376
-They still contagious?
-Very.
73
00:03:20,509 --> 00:03:23,176
Fred, get out of the car.
74
00:03:23,209 --> 00:03:26,376
He's so sweet
but he's such a
shmegegge.
75
00:03:27,343 --> 00:03:31,243
Fred, honey, pull the knob up.
76
00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:36,259
How could such ashmegegge
become so rich?
77
00:03:36,293 --> 00:03:39,293
This from a woman
who voted for Ross
Perot?
78
00:03:40,193 --> 00:03:42,203
Fred.
79
00:03:48,243 --> 00:03:51,176
Fred, I'd like you to meet
my sister-in-law, Sylvia,
80
00:03:51,209 --> 00:03:52,476
and her daughter, Fran.
81
00:03:52,509 --> 00:03:54,426
I'm Sylvia.
82
00:03:55,376 --> 00:03:56,409
I'm gonna go upstairs
83
00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:58,376
and steam a couple of things.
84
00:03:58,409 --> 00:04:00,509
Fred, would you like to come in?
85
00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:03,259
Oh, no, no. I'm fine out here.
86
00:04:03,293 --> 00:04:08,243
No, I've got a light, a
chair.
I don't want to be a
bother.
87
00:04:08,276 --> 00:04:09,376
[DOOR CLOSES]
88
00:04:09,409 --> 00:04:12,203
What do you know,
he's half Jewish.
89
00:04:13,459 --> 00:04:17,043
♪♪ Will someone tell mewhen it is my turn ♪♪
90
00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:19,373
♪♪ Don't I get a dreamfor myself ♪♪
91
00:04:19,703 --> 00:04:23,426
♪♪ Starting now it's gonnabeMr. Sandman ♪♪
92
00:04:23,459 --> 00:04:28,043
♪♪ Yes, bring me a dream,boom-boom-boom-boom ♪♪
93
00:04:28,373 --> 00:04:31,259
♪♪ I had a dream ♪♪
94
00:04:31,293 --> 00:04:35,243
♪♪ A dream about youand you and you ♪♪
95
00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,426
And you, who needed
a little bite to
eat,
96
00:04:37,459 --> 00:04:40,373
your 17-pound turkey is ready.
97
00:04:41,259 --> 00:04:43,143
Excuse me. I'm taking
a short break.
98
00:04:43,176 --> 00:04:44,376
Enjoy the buffet.
99
00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,343
Well, now that
that's
taken care of,
100
00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:57,326
I can go to my Yacht Club.
101
00:04:57,359 --> 00:04:59,193
Speaking of turkeys...
102
00:04:59,226 --> 00:05:04,276
how many arrangements
does that human karaoke know?
103
00:05:04,309 --> 00:05:07,426
Well, that depends.
Has she already done
her
tribute to Chaka Khan?
104
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,493
C.C., would you mind leaving
us alone for a moment?
105
00:05:12,526 --> 00:05:15,193
I'd like a word
with the
skipper.
106
00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:22,259
Now, exactly how long is
your aunt's engagement
here
going to last?
107
00:05:22,293 --> 00:05:25,159
Because we do have
another act coming
in
108
00:05:25,193 --> 00:05:27,873
from the Nanny Agency.
109
00:05:28,476 --> 00:05:31,309
Well, if you'll just
retract those veins,
110
00:05:31,343 --> 00:05:34,373
I'll tell you
a perfectly good explanation.
111
00:05:34,703 --> 00:05:35,493
There is no explanation
112
00:05:35,526 --> 00:05:39,276
why that woman
is still in my
house.
113
00:05:41,543 --> 00:05:45,459
A very wealthy and repressed man
is in love with her,
114
00:05:45,493 --> 00:05:49,259
but he's not ready to commit.
115
00:05:56,493 --> 00:05:58,409
Well, that's understandable.
116
00:06:00,203 --> 00:06:00,509
Uh huh.
117
00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:02,143
You know...
it's only
fair
118
00:06:02,176 --> 00:06:04,293
that she give
him
plenty of time.
119
00:06:04,326 --> 00:06:07,143
And how much time
are we talking?
120
00:06:07,176 --> 00:06:11,203
I don't know.
Can't rush these things.
121
00:06:11,543 --> 00:06:14,459
Yeah, well, I hope he
knows
that he doesn't have
forever,
122
00:06:14,493 --> 00:06:17,459
because she's not gonna
wait around like some schlub
123
00:06:17,493 --> 00:06:20,193
since she can't even
spit in this town
124
00:06:20,226 --> 00:06:24,193
without hitting
some eligible classy guy.
125
00:06:24,226 --> 00:06:27,176
Well, good bloody luck
to her catching one,
126
00:06:27,209 --> 00:06:30,509
because men seldom date women
who say the word "schlub",
127
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:34,159
and rarely marry those who spit.
128
00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:47,493
Did your big fat ears
get all that, Niles?
129
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,443
It's just me, Daddy.
130
00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:54,873
-Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry.
Do me a favor?
-Mm-hmm?
131
00:06:54,159 --> 00:06:57,193
Tell the man with
the big fat ears next to you,
I'd like a drink.
132
00:06:58,276 --> 00:07:00,393
-He said he wants a--
-NILES: I heard him.
133
00:07:08,509 --> 00:07:11,293
Oh, thank you. Thanks.
134
00:07:11,326 --> 00:07:14,343
All right. All right.
I'm leaving.
135
00:07:14,376 --> 00:07:16,873
What was that about?
136
00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:19,243
That woman tried to get in
with a Xeroxed membership card.
137
00:07:19,276 --> 00:07:22,873
-It looked so phony.
-Oh, my God.
138
00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:24,443
Well I'm surprised
she didn't dip it in tea
first
139
00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:26,243
to give it that aged look.
140
00:07:26,276 --> 00:07:28,509
Then you paste on
one of those magnetic
strips
141
00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:31,143
from the back
of an old Blockbuster's
card
142
00:07:31,176 --> 00:07:34,393
before giving it that
authentic
look of laminating it.
143
00:07:37,543 --> 00:07:39,393
You wouldn't believe
what people will do to marry
up.
144
00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,443
Oh, boy, you know,
that is so
superficial.
145
00:07:42,476 --> 00:07:45,309
Give me a working man any day.
146
00:07:45,343 --> 00:07:48,043
-What do you do?
-I'm a chauffeur.
147
00:07:48,373 --> 00:07:49,326
That seat's taken.
148
00:07:54,203 --> 00:07:58,209
Oh! Fred. Oh, Fred. Hi.
149
00:07:59,476 --> 00:08:02,143
It's okay, Fred.
You can talk to me.
150
00:08:02,176 --> 00:08:03,276
Oh, I don't want to bother you,
151
00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:06,543
you look like you're in
the middle of something.
152
00:08:06,873 --> 00:08:08,703
Yeah, my childbearing years.
153
00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:12,203
Fred, come on over here, honey.
154
00:08:12,543 --> 00:08:13,359
I didn't know you were a member.
155
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:16,393
-Oh, yes, yes, for years now.
-Oh.
156
00:08:16,426 --> 00:08:18,393
This is my favorite time of day.
157
00:08:18,426 --> 00:08:22,193
I love to come over and watch
the bartenders cut the fruit.
158
00:08:23,509 --> 00:08:27,176
I don't know. When you're
rich,
they call it eccentric.
159
00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:32,409
You know, Fred,
I'm really glad I ran into
you.
160
00:08:32,443 --> 00:08:35,426
It's so obvious that, you
know,
you're a shy guy,
161
00:08:35,459 --> 00:08:39,143
but you really feel
strongly
about Freida.
162
00:08:39,176 --> 00:08:41,343
Why don't you pop the question?
163
00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:46,259
Oh! Freida would never marry
me.
She's so vibrant, sexy.
164
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,343
I want whatever he's drinking.
165
00:08:50,443 --> 00:08:54,159
-I really don't know
what she sees in me.
-Uh.
166
00:08:58,293 --> 00:09:00,209
It's your eyes.
167
00:09:02,426 --> 00:09:04,373
Besides, I could never give her
168
00:09:04,703 --> 00:09:06,193
the kind of life
that she's used to.
169
00:09:06,226 --> 00:09:09,043
Parties, nightclubbing...
170
00:09:09,373 --> 00:09:11,873
I'm not a very exciting man.
171
00:09:17,143 --> 00:09:21,493
-I can't even--
-Oh, Fred, don't be
embarrassed.
172
00:09:21,526 --> 00:09:23,493
You know,
you can do other
things.
173
00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:27,359
And, really, most
women
just like to cuddle.
174
00:09:30,326 --> 00:09:32,043
I was going to say dance.
175
00:09:32,373 --> 00:09:33,393
Ah.
176
00:09:33,426 --> 00:09:38,143
Well, that's good because
that cuddle thing is a big
myth.
177
00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:42,409
Oh, Fred, I can teach
you
how to dance.
178
00:09:42,443 --> 00:09:46,493
A couple of private
lessons,
you'll sweep her off her
feet.
179
00:09:46,526 --> 00:09:50,226
You must really love your
aunt.
She'd be moved.
180
00:09:50,259 --> 00:09:55,459
Well, moving my aunt
is a big priority in my
family.
181
00:10:00,459 --> 00:10:03,226
I should never have let you
teach me to mambo.
182
00:10:03,259 --> 00:10:05,493
Oh, no, Fred, it's okay.
183
00:10:05,526 --> 00:10:07,176
You know, in China,
184
00:10:07,209 --> 00:10:09,359
women without toes
are considered
sexy.
185
00:10:10,326 --> 00:10:11,426
Well, let's face it, Fran,
186
00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:13,443
I'll never
be known for my dancing.
187
00:10:17,459 --> 00:10:20,493
Nonsense, Fred.
You're very light on your
feet.
188
00:10:20,526 --> 00:10:24,476
I'm sure there was a pair of
ski boots under here somewhere.
189
00:10:24,509 --> 00:10:26,393
Look, let's forget
the whole thing.
190
00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,426
Oh, no, no. Fred,
191
00:10:28,459 --> 00:10:30,476
if you don't leave
here
with Freida,
192
00:10:30,509 --> 00:10:33,203
I will regret it
for the rest of my
life.
193
00:10:33,543 --> 00:10:34,243
Did I say I?
194
00:10:35,293 --> 00:10:38,143
Let me demonstrate. Watch me.
195
00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:42,243
One, two, three.
One, two, three.
196
00:10:42,276 --> 00:10:45,176
Turn, turn, turn.
Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy.
197
00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:49,873
Now, you try it.
198
00:10:49,159 --> 00:10:51,159
[MAMBO MUSIC PLAYING]
199
00:11:11,143 --> 00:11:13,203
I'll never be as good as you.
200
00:11:13,509 --> 00:11:15,493
Don't compare yourself to me.
201
00:11:15,526 --> 00:11:17,526
I was onDance Fever.
202
00:11:20,209 --> 00:11:22,193
I'll just show you
a couple of steps
203
00:11:22,226 --> 00:11:24,226
so you can fake it, okay?
204
00:11:25,409 --> 00:11:27,393
One, two, three.
205
00:11:27,426 --> 00:11:30,459
Hey, I kind of like that.
206
00:11:30,493 --> 00:11:32,203
You're getting it.
207
00:11:32,543 --> 00:11:33,873
Oh, whap!
208
00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,143
Now, just keep
doing
the same thing
209
00:11:35,176 --> 00:11:36,359
over and over again.
210
00:11:36,393 --> 00:11:38,509
-Oh, whap!
-Well, not that.
211
00:11:39,043 --> 00:11:40,276
That could get annoying.
212
00:11:41,359 --> 00:11:44,326
-Fran, wait. Ooh...
-You're doing great.
213
00:11:44,359 --> 00:11:45,493
There's something's
wrong with my arm.
214
00:11:45,526 --> 00:11:47,393
Worry more about your feet.
215
00:11:47,426 --> 00:11:49,226
-Really.
-Fred, not so close.
216
00:11:49,259 --> 00:11:51,543
Don't tip me. Fred!
217
00:11:52,393 --> 00:11:55,526
Fred. Fred.
218
00:11:56,359 --> 00:11:58,326
Hello, Fred.
219
00:11:58,359 --> 00:12:01,493
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
220
00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:05,159
Oh, my God. Oh!
221
00:12:05,193 --> 00:12:07,276
Oh, my God.
222
00:12:19,259 --> 00:12:24,203
Fred, I hope for your sake,
that's rigor mortis setting
in.
223
00:12:34,426 --> 00:12:37,509
NURSE [OVER RADIO]:Dr.Warnerwanted in Radiology please.
224
00:12:38,043 --> 00:12:40,176
Can you believe
that she did this to me
225
00:12:40,209 --> 00:12:42,373
under my own roof?
226
00:12:43,359 --> 00:12:46,443
Oh, my Momma, I'm gonna faint.
Hold me.
227
00:12:46,476 --> 00:12:49,526
Hold you?
I'm still paying for
this hip.
228
00:12:54,043 --> 00:12:56,259
You happy, hot pants?
229
00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:59,426
Don't you yell
at my daughter, Nettie.
230
00:12:59,459 --> 00:13:01,493
What the hell is wrong with you?
231
00:13:01,526 --> 00:13:04,293
Are you so
desperate
to get married?
232
00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:07,526
[SHOUTS] Where is this insanity
coming from?
233
00:13:15,043 --> 00:13:18,209
Mr. Sheffield is here.
Put some lipstick on.
234
00:13:20,209 --> 00:13:22,203
Why won't anyone believe me?
235
00:13:22,543 --> 00:13:24,343
I was just trying
to get those two together.
236
00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:27,409
Just because he was lying on me
with romantic music
237
00:13:27,443 --> 00:13:29,459
at 1:00 in the morning
doesn't mean...
238
00:13:29,493 --> 00:13:33,509
You know, this would all be
a non-issue if I was running
opposite Dole.
239
00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:41,443
I've got
an 8:00 a.m. appointment.
240
00:13:41,476 --> 00:13:43,459
Niles, would you
let C.C. know what happened.
241
00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:45,373
Oh, I already phoned her sir.
242
00:13:45,703 --> 00:13:46,226
Told her a certain millionaire
243
00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,393
suffered a heart attack
in Ms. Fine's bed.
244
00:13:48,426 --> 00:13:50,373
C.C.: Maxwell!
245
00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:58,873
-You're all right?
-Oh dear. You thought
I meant him?
246
00:14:01,509 --> 00:14:04,159
He can have visitors now,
but he's weak
247
00:14:04,193 --> 00:14:06,176
so you should only go in
one at a time.
248
00:14:06,209 --> 00:14:07,359
-All right.
-Absolutely. We will.
249
00:14:07,393 --> 00:14:09,343
-Thank you.
-Thanks for taking
250
00:14:09,376 --> 00:14:11,176
-such good care of him.
-One at a time.
251
00:14:11,209 --> 00:14:13,043
-We appreciate it.
-Go!
252
00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:18,293
Fred.
253
00:14:18,326 --> 00:14:20,259
Freddy.
254
00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,193
It's your Freida-la.
255
00:14:23,326 --> 00:14:26,276
Are you-- Are you all right?
Can you hear?
256
00:14:26,309 --> 00:14:28,703
His color's not so good.
257
00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:29,393
Well hat hose
you're standing on
258
00:14:29,426 --> 00:14:31,493
might have something
to do with it.
259
00:14:34,226 --> 00:14:36,409
You have the nerve
to speak to me?
260
00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,443
I didn't do
anything.
I'm innocent.
261
00:14:39,476 --> 00:14:42,509
Shh! Look, he's trying
to say something.
262
00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:46,276
Fran, you're so good.
263
00:14:50,393 --> 00:14:52,143
Put my leg where?
264
00:14:53,276 --> 00:14:55,543
Where the heck is that hose?
265
00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:59,509
You... You husband stealer, you.
266
00:15:00,043 --> 00:15:03,143
Now, who's gonna
take care of me?
267
00:15:03,176 --> 00:15:04,376
Where am I gonna live?
268
00:15:04,409 --> 00:15:07,409
-Bed time.
-I made plans!
269
00:15:17,409 --> 00:15:19,873
Any idea of Ms. Fine
270
00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:22,373
being seriously involved
with Fred is absurd.
271
00:15:22,703 --> 00:15:23,393
Oh, why do you say that, sir?
272
00:15:23,426 --> 00:15:26,176
Come on, man, he's nice, but...
273
00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:30,359
well, she couldn't be
interested inhim
274
00:15:32,393 --> 00:15:34,159
What's so great about you?
275
00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,509
I mean, what's so great
about you is your
ability--
276
00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:41,293
-Oh, shut up.
-Right.
277
00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:47,259
Of course it's only a
matter of time
before she does find someone
278
00:15:47,293 --> 00:15:50,343
if she keeps
putting herself out there.
279
00:15:50,376 --> 00:15:53,543
Do you think she's doing all
this just to spite me
280
00:15:53,873 --> 00:15:55,459
for taking back the,
you know, thing?
281
00:15:57,326 --> 00:16:00,259
Well, it's very difficult
to
say, sir, considering the
fact
282
00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,343
I don't know
what the bloody thing
is.
283
00:16:06,143 --> 00:16:08,393
Oh, well,
I might as well tell you.
284
00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,443
[PHONE RINGING]
285
00:16:20,243 --> 00:16:21,509
We'll get back to them.
286
00:16:23,259 --> 00:16:25,493
First of all, no one else
must ever know
287
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:28,176
what I'm about to tell you.
288
00:16:28,209 --> 00:16:30,243
All right. Let me see,
289
00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:32,459
we were on our way
back from Paris.
290
00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:35,509
And, well, I thought
we were about to die,
291
00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:39,459
so I turned to Ms. Fine
and I told her I loved her.
292
00:16:41,203 --> 00:16:46,873
Then I panicked, took it back
and, well, that's it.
293
00:16:46,159 --> 00:16:50,526
So, now you know
what the thing is.
294
00:16:54,526 --> 00:16:57,393
NILES: [FRUSTRATED SCREAM]
295
00:17:00,293 --> 00:17:03,343
Fran, I refuse to
share
a bathroom with your
aunt anymore.
296
00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:07,873
I brushed my teeth
with some chick
product.
297
00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,293
Don't even want to
speculate
what that was.
298
00:17:10,376 --> 00:17:12,209
Oh, what are you
complaining about?
299
00:17:12,243 --> 00:17:14,426
There's like a
toenail
fromJurassic Park
300
00:17:14,459 --> 00:17:15,526
in my bathroom.
301
00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:19,293
And look at this.
302
00:17:19,326 --> 00:17:21,343
Your aunt ate
the entire box of chocolates
303
00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:23,159
that my boyfriend gave me.
304
00:17:23,193 --> 00:17:24,376
Oh, don't worry, kids.
305
00:17:24,409 --> 00:17:26,393
I'll take care of everything.
306
00:17:29,509 --> 00:17:31,293
Nanny Fine, I didn't know
307
00:17:31,326 --> 00:17:33,476
you were attracted
to decrepit old men.
308
00:17:33,509 --> 00:17:37,159
Am I gonna have to keep my eye
on the two of you now?
309
00:17:38,259 --> 00:17:41,209
In my day, two people
got to know each other first.
310
00:17:41,243 --> 00:17:43,426
In your day,
there only were two people.
311
00:17:45,226 --> 00:17:46,326
FRIEDA: Fran.
312
00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,376
Franny, darling,
313
00:17:48,409 --> 00:17:52,343
-Fred regained
consciousness,
he explained everything.
-Oh.
314
00:17:52,376 --> 00:17:55,476
-And then he proposed.
-[FRAN CHUCKLES]
315
00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,309
So can you ever forgive me?
316
00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,703
-Did you accept?
-Yeah.
317
00:17:59,143 --> 00:18:01,203
All is forgiven.
318
00:18:02,393 --> 00:18:05,703
Oh! There you are. All packed.
319
00:18:06,193 --> 00:18:08,376
Look, how excited
they are for me.
320
00:18:08,409 --> 00:18:10,343
Not quite yet, my loves,
321
00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:13,243
because, you know,
there's still so much to do.
322
00:18:13,276 --> 00:18:14,309
And I haven't even decided
323
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,276
where I'm gonna
have the ceremony
324
00:18:16,309 --> 00:18:19,873
now that I'm getting married.
325
00:18:19,159 --> 00:18:21,509
-Hear, hear.
-Here?
326
00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:25,703
Oh, you are a doll.
327
00:18:27,543 --> 00:18:30,176
So I'm gonna go upstairs
and try on my old wedding gown.
328
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:34,159
Come on, kids, help zip me up.
329
00:18:34,193 --> 00:18:35,476
I'll get the pliers.
330
00:18:38,226 --> 00:18:41,326
All right. I--I know,
something just happened.
331
00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,193
You just offered
to have Freida's wedding
here.
332
00:18:44,226 --> 00:18:47,209
What? Well, why didn't you
bloody say something?
333
00:18:47,243 --> 00:18:48,393
Oh, calm down.
334
00:18:48,426 --> 00:18:50,293
Do you think that
I would subject you
335
00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:53,293
to the horror
of a Fine family affair?
336
00:18:53,326 --> 00:18:56,873
Not after what happened
Grandma Yetta's birthday
party,
337
00:18:56,159 --> 00:18:58,326
which you know nothing about.
So what am I bringing it up
for?
338
00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,159
Moving on. Moving on.
339
00:19:00,526 --> 00:19:02,209
I can't believe I agreed
340
00:19:02,243 --> 00:19:04,326
to let Freida
have her wedding
here.
341
00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:08,259
-Oh, relax. I've got a plan.
-Oh, thank God.
342
00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:10,493
First, I'll go out and buy
a dress for the wedding.
343
00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:12,509
-Yes, right.
-Better give me
your credit card.
344
00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:15,243
This way it looks like
you're going along with it.
345
00:19:15,276 --> 00:19:17,159
Oh, right. Right.
346
00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:20,259
-Okay now, while I'm doing
that,
you, this'll be a snap for
you.
347
00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,276
-Go upstairs. Find Freida.
-Yeah. Uh-huh.
348
00:19:23,309 --> 00:19:25,243
And take it back.
349
00:19:36,373 --> 00:19:37,293
This is beautiful.
350
00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:40,703
Why is it
families only get together
351
00:19:40,143 --> 00:19:42,176
at weddings and funerals?
352
00:19:42,209 --> 00:19:46,159
You know, you wore that
dress
to her last wedding.
353
00:19:46,193 --> 00:19:50,703
I'm saving the new one
for yourshiva,
354
00:19:54,703 --> 00:19:56,209
Well, we don't need
anything old or
blue.
355
00:19:56,243 --> 00:19:58,376
I just shoved
Freida
into her corset.
356
00:19:58,409 --> 00:20:00,526
[LAUGHTER]
357
00:20:02,193 --> 00:20:05,203
-Fran, can I talk to you?
-Yes. Sure.
358
00:20:05,543 --> 00:20:06,376
I can't go through with this.
359
00:20:06,409 --> 00:20:08,326
Oh, Fred, now,
I don't want to
hear
360
00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:10,393
that you're not
good enough for
Freida.
361
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:14,243
You're a wonderful guy.
I'd marry you in a
second.
362
00:20:14,276 --> 00:20:17,376
Then marry me.
I think I'm in love with you.
363
00:20:17,409 --> 00:20:20,543
Fred, don't be ridiculous.
364
00:20:20,873 --> 00:20:22,143
You're just getting cold feet.
365
00:20:22,176 --> 00:20:25,159
I'll give you anything
you ever wanted.
Yes, I'm worth millions.
366
00:20:25,193 --> 00:20:26,409
This'll do.
367
00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,459
No, Fred.
368
00:20:31,509 --> 00:20:35,276
You don't love
me.
You love Freida.
369
00:20:35,309 --> 00:20:37,209
You guys make a perfect couple.
370
00:20:37,243 --> 00:20:41,276
There is nothing more
right
in this whole world.
371
00:20:41,309 --> 00:20:43,359
This is so wrong.
372
00:20:43,393 --> 00:20:47,426
You say anything to disturb
this ceremony and you're
dead.
373
00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:54,193
And do you,
Freida Rubinski...
Mannarino...
374
00:20:54,226 --> 00:20:58,193
...Chong'dow... Bitterman...
375
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,143
Excuse us. Coming through.
Excuse me just a minute.
376
00:21:02,176 --> 00:21:04,176
-Thank you.
-I can't let Freida
377
00:21:04,209 --> 00:21:07,159
-go through with this.
-Oh, yes, you can.
378
00:21:07,193 --> 00:21:09,376
My house has turned into
a pest motel.
379
00:21:09,409 --> 00:21:12,143
Where the Fines check in
but they don't check out.
380
00:21:13,526 --> 00:21:15,176
You don't understand.
381
00:21:15,209 --> 00:21:18,226
He doesn't want to marry her.
He said he loves me.
382
00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:19,359
He's confused.
383
00:21:19,393 --> 00:21:21,409
The man just had
a near-death experience.
384
00:21:21,443 --> 00:21:23,393
He didn't know
what he was saying.
385
00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,426
Wait a minute.
Let me get this
straight.
386
00:21:27,459 --> 00:21:30,276
Now, you're taking it
back
for him?
387
00:21:32,373 --> 00:21:34,359
Oh. You know,
maybe ignorance is
bliss.
388
00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,459
Maybe I should just
let them be happy.
389
00:21:36,493 --> 00:21:39,209
I mean, Freida's
been widowed five
times.
390
00:21:39,243 --> 00:21:42,543
Maybe six will be
her lucky number, who
knows.
391
00:21:42,873 --> 00:21:44,193
I do.
392
00:21:45,343 --> 00:21:48,259
Fred. Fred.
393
00:21:48,293 --> 00:21:51,459
-He said, "I do."
-[All TOGETHER] We heard him.
394
00:21:59,873 --> 00:22:00,309
Oh, Mr. Sheffield, look,
395
00:22:00,343 --> 00:22:04,203
Aunt Freida sent us a tape
from their honeymoon.
396
00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:07,493
I can't believe
how well Fred recovered.
397
00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:10,159
I know.
Doesn't he look
incredible?
398
00:22:10,193 --> 00:22:13,326
Boy, that quadruple
bypass
really did the trick.
399
00:22:16,259 --> 00:22:18,509
Make them laugh! Ha, ha!
400
00:22:20,226 --> 00:22:22,176
Make them laugh! Ha, ha, ha!
401
00:22:22,209 --> 00:22:25,509
Next week, I'm gonna teach
him
theMacarena.
402
00:22:27,203 --> 00:22:30,426
[♪♪♪]
403
00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:36,409
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
31148
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