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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,043 --> 00:00:03,459 -Good morning. -Miss Fine, these were delivered for you. 2 00:00:03,493 --> 00:00:05,703 Oh, great. 3 00:00:05,143 --> 00:00:06,526 Ahh. Ms. Fine, filling in for your cousin 4 00:00:07,203 --> 00:00:08,159 Mel the doorman again? 5 00:00:09,873 --> 00:00:12,443 I wish. Is that a cushy job or what? 6 00:00:12,476 --> 00:00:15,509 All he does is open doors and receive packages. 7 00:00:16,043 --> 00:00:17,276 A baboon could do that. 8 00:00:18,526 --> 00:00:21,359 Well, of course, a highly trained baboon. 9 00:00:23,476 --> 00:00:25,176 Mr. Sheffield, what do you think? 10 00:00:25,209 --> 00:00:27,873 I'm gonna make some mingle at the Yacht Club today. 11 00:00:27,159 --> 00:00:28,326 -Yacht Club? -Uh huh. 12 00:00:28,359 --> 00:00:30,159 That's setting your sights high, isn't it? 13 00:00:30,193 --> 00:00:32,476 You know, I am not the same chick I was 14 00:00:32,509 --> 00:00:34,343 when I started here three years ago. 15 00:00:34,376 --> 00:00:37,043 I mean, I can't look for love in all the old joints, 16 00:00:37,373 --> 00:00:40,293 now that I've acquired so much class and panache. 17 00:00:41,426 --> 00:00:44,393 There's that Band-Aid that came off in the bathtub. 18 00:00:46,509 --> 00:00:49,176 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 19 00:00:49,209 --> 00:00:52,873 ♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪ 20 00:00:52,159 --> 00:00:53,359 ♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪ 21 00:00:53,393 --> 00:00:55,243 ♪♪ in one of those crushing scenes ♪♪ 22 00:00:55,276 --> 00:00:57,209 ♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪ 23 00:00:57,243 --> 00:01:00,543 ♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪ 24 00:01:00,873 --> 00:01:03,043 ♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪ 25 00:01:03,373 --> 00:01:05,376 ♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪ 26 00:01:05,409 --> 00:01:07,476 ♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪ 27 00:01:07,509 --> 00:01:11,276 ♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪ 28 00:01:11,309 --> 00:01:14,259 ♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪ 29 00:01:14,293 --> 00:01:16,359 ♪♪ was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪ 30 00:01:16,393 --> 00:01:18,159 ♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪ 31 00:01:18,193 --> 00:01:19,359 ♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪ 32 00:01:19,393 --> 00:01:20,459 ♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪ 33 00:01:20,493 --> 00:01:22,176 ♪♪ Such♪♪ 34 00:01:22,209 --> 00:01:23,376 ♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪ 35 00:01:23,409 --> 00:01:26,443 ♪♪ when everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪ 36 00:01:27,493 --> 00:01:29,509 ♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪ 37 00:01:30,043 --> 00:01:31,343 ♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪ 38 00:01:33,243 --> 00:01:36,326 [♪♪♪] 39 00:01:38,476 --> 00:01:40,376 Sweetheart, thank God you're home. 40 00:01:40,409 --> 00:01:44,226 I have to warn you, you're in terrible danger. 41 00:01:44,259 --> 00:01:46,293 Did Niles make a noodle kugel? 42 00:01:47,376 --> 00:01:50,493 Ma, would you concentrate. Pretend you're full. 43 00:01:52,343 --> 00:01:54,703 Did Aunt Freida call? 44 00:01:54,143 --> 00:01:56,343 Yeah, she said her apartment was being painted. 45 00:01:56,376 --> 00:01:58,873 So I said she could stay here. 46 00:01:58,159 --> 00:01:59,526 Oy! I am too late. 47 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,209 -She's been thrown out of her apartment, she is broke. -[FRAN GASPS] 48 00:02:02,243 --> 00:02:05,393 They even took her nightclub to pay for her taxes. 49 00:02:05,426 --> 00:02:08,326 No more Freida's Le Freak? 50 00:02:08,359 --> 00:02:11,309 That place was like an institution. 51 00:02:11,343 --> 00:02:13,276 Has the city no soul? 52 00:02:13,309 --> 00:02:15,293 They're putting in a Loehmann's. 53 00:02:15,326 --> 00:02:18,159 Oh, you know, you really can't fight progress. 54 00:02:19,259 --> 00:02:21,309 She's hitting up everyone in the family 55 00:02:21,343 --> 00:02:22,443 for a place to stay. 56 00:02:22,476 --> 00:02:24,373 How could this happen? 57 00:02:24,703 --> 00:02:26,276 The woman's buried five husbands. 58 00:02:26,309 --> 00:02:30,226 You'd think that she can live off what she found in their old pants' pockets. 59 00:02:31,359 --> 00:02:34,426 What happened to Fred, her millionaire boyfriend? 60 00:02:34,459 --> 00:02:37,409 Well, she's afraid, if he knows that she's broke 61 00:02:37,443 --> 00:02:40,476 he'll think that she's after him for his money. 62 00:02:40,509 --> 00:02:42,143 Well, isn't she? 63 00:02:42,176 --> 00:02:45,159 If she has a brain in that fat head of hers she is. 64 00:02:46,226 --> 00:02:47,326 Poor Aunt Freida. 65 00:02:47,359 --> 00:02:50,343 She came this close to making it as a singer... 66 00:02:50,376 --> 00:02:54,143 and her damn boyfriend Steve had to go meet Edie. 67 00:02:54,409 --> 00:02:56,243 [DOORBELL RINGS] 68 00:02:56,276 --> 00:02:59,226 Well, good luck getting rid of Freida now. 69 00:02:59,259 --> 00:03:03,543 She's like a Cesarean scar. You'll have her for life. 70 00:03:06,309 --> 00:03:09,226 -Fri. -Syl. 71 00:03:14,043 --> 00:03:17,203 So how are Morty's mumps? 72 00:03:17,543 --> 00:03:19,376 -They still contagious? -Very. 73 00:03:20,509 --> 00:03:23,176 Fred, get out of the car. 74 00:03:23,209 --> 00:03:26,376 He's so sweet but he's such a shmegegge. 75 00:03:27,343 --> 00:03:31,243 Fred, honey, pull the knob up. 76 00:03:32,343 --> 00:03:36,259 How could such ashmegegge become so rich? 77 00:03:36,293 --> 00:03:39,293 This from a woman who voted for Ross Perot? 78 00:03:40,193 --> 00:03:42,203 Fred. 79 00:03:48,243 --> 00:03:51,176 Fred, I'd like you to meet my sister-in-law, Sylvia, 80 00:03:51,209 --> 00:03:52,476 and her daughter, Fran. 81 00:03:52,509 --> 00:03:54,426 I'm Sylvia. 82 00:03:55,376 --> 00:03:56,409 I'm gonna go upstairs 83 00:03:56,443 --> 00:03:58,376 and steam a couple of things. 84 00:03:58,409 --> 00:04:00,509 Fred, would you like to come in? 85 00:04:01,043 --> 00:04:03,259 Oh, no, no. I'm fine out here. 86 00:04:03,293 --> 00:04:08,243 No, I've got a light, a chair. I don't want to be a bother. 87 00:04:08,276 --> 00:04:09,376 [DOOR CLOSES] 88 00:04:09,409 --> 00:04:12,203 What do you know, he's half Jewish. 89 00:04:13,459 --> 00:04:17,043 ♪♪ Will someone tell me when it is my turn ♪♪ 90 00:04:17,373 --> 00:04:19,373 ♪♪ Don't I get a dream for myself ♪♪ 91 00:04:19,703 --> 00:04:23,426 ♪♪ Starting now it's gonna be Mr. Sandman ♪♪ 92 00:04:23,459 --> 00:04:28,043 ♪♪ Yes, bring me a dream, boom-boom-boom-boom ♪♪ 93 00:04:28,373 --> 00:04:31,259 ♪♪ I had a dream ♪♪ 94 00:04:31,293 --> 00:04:35,243 ♪♪ A dream about you and you and you ♪♪ 95 00:04:35,276 --> 00:04:37,426 And you, who needed a little bite to eat, 96 00:04:37,459 --> 00:04:40,373 your 17-pound turkey is ready. 97 00:04:41,259 --> 00:04:43,143 Excuse me. I'm taking a short break. 98 00:04:43,176 --> 00:04:44,376 Enjoy the buffet. 99 00:04:52,293 --> 00:04:54,343 Well, now that that's taken care of, 100 00:04:54,376 --> 00:04:57,326 I can go to my Yacht Club. 101 00:04:57,359 --> 00:04:59,193 Speaking of turkeys... 102 00:04:59,226 --> 00:05:04,276 how many arrangements does that human karaoke know? 103 00:05:04,309 --> 00:05:07,426 Well, that depends. Has she already done her tribute to Chaka Khan? 104 00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,493 C.C., would you mind leaving us alone for a moment? 105 00:05:12,526 --> 00:05:15,193 I'd like a word with the skipper. 106 00:05:17,526 --> 00:05:22,259 Now, exactly how long is your aunt's engagement here going to last? 107 00:05:22,293 --> 00:05:25,159 Because we do have another act coming in 108 00:05:25,193 --> 00:05:27,873 from the Nanny Agency. 109 00:05:28,476 --> 00:05:31,309 Well, if you'll just retract those veins, 110 00:05:31,343 --> 00:05:34,373 I'll tell you a perfectly good explanation. 111 00:05:34,703 --> 00:05:35,493 There is no explanation 112 00:05:35,526 --> 00:05:39,276 why that woman is still in my house. 113 00:05:41,543 --> 00:05:45,459 A very wealthy and repressed man is in love with her, 114 00:05:45,493 --> 00:05:49,259 but he's not ready to commit. 115 00:05:56,493 --> 00:05:58,409 Well, that's understandable. 116 00:06:00,203 --> 00:06:00,509 Uh huh. 117 00:06:01,043 --> 00:06:02,143 You know... it's only fair 118 00:06:02,176 --> 00:06:04,293 that she give him plenty of time. 119 00:06:04,326 --> 00:06:07,143 And how much time are we talking? 120 00:06:07,176 --> 00:06:11,203 I don't know. Can't rush these things. 121 00:06:11,543 --> 00:06:14,459 Yeah, well, I hope he knows that he doesn't have forever, 122 00:06:14,493 --> 00:06:17,459 because she's not gonna wait around like some schlub 123 00:06:17,493 --> 00:06:20,193 since she can't even spit in this town 124 00:06:20,226 --> 00:06:24,193 without hitting some eligible classy guy. 125 00:06:24,226 --> 00:06:27,176 Well, good bloody luck to her catching one, 126 00:06:27,209 --> 00:06:30,509 because men seldom date women who say the word "schlub", 127 00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:34,159 and rarely marry those who spit. 128 00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:47,493 Did your big fat ears get all that, Niles? 129 00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,443 It's just me, Daddy. 130 00:06:50,476 --> 00:06:54,873 -Oh, sweetheart, I'm sorry. Do me a favor? -Mm-hmm? 131 00:06:54,159 --> 00:06:57,193 Tell the man with the big fat ears next to you, I'd like a drink. 132 00:06:58,276 --> 00:07:00,393 -He said he wants a-- -NILES: I heard him. 133 00:07:08,509 --> 00:07:11,293 Oh, thank you. Thanks. 134 00:07:11,326 --> 00:07:14,343 All right. All right. I'm leaving. 135 00:07:14,376 --> 00:07:16,873 What was that about? 136 00:07:16,159 --> 00:07:19,243 That woman tried to get in with a Xeroxed membership card. 137 00:07:19,276 --> 00:07:22,873 -It looked so phony. -Oh, my God. 138 00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:24,443 Well I'm surprised she didn't dip it in tea first 139 00:07:24,476 --> 00:07:26,243 to give it that aged look. 140 00:07:26,276 --> 00:07:28,509 Then you paste on one of those magnetic strips 141 00:07:29,043 --> 00:07:31,143 from the back of an old Blockbuster's card 142 00:07:31,176 --> 00:07:34,393 before giving it that authentic look of laminating it. 143 00:07:37,543 --> 00:07:39,393 You wouldn't believe what people will do to marry up. 144 00:07:39,426 --> 00:07:42,443 Oh, boy, you know, that is so superficial. 145 00:07:42,476 --> 00:07:45,309 Give me a working man any day. 146 00:07:45,343 --> 00:07:48,043 -What do you do? -I'm a chauffeur. 147 00:07:48,373 --> 00:07:49,326 That seat's taken. 148 00:07:54,203 --> 00:07:58,209 Oh! Fred. Oh, Fred. Hi. 149 00:07:59,476 --> 00:08:02,143 It's okay, Fred. You can talk to me. 150 00:08:02,176 --> 00:08:03,276 Oh, I don't want to bother you, 151 00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:06,543 you look like you're in the middle of something. 152 00:08:06,873 --> 00:08:08,703 Yeah, my childbearing years. 153 00:08:09,143 --> 00:08:12,203 Fred, come on over here, honey. 154 00:08:12,543 --> 00:08:13,359 I didn't know you were a member. 155 00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:16,393 -Oh, yes, yes, for years now. -Oh. 156 00:08:16,426 --> 00:08:18,393 This is my favorite time of day. 157 00:08:18,426 --> 00:08:22,193 I love to come over and watch the bartenders cut the fruit. 158 00:08:23,509 --> 00:08:27,176 I don't know. When you're rich, they call it eccentric. 159 00:08:28,509 --> 00:08:32,409 You know, Fred, I'm really glad I ran into you. 160 00:08:32,443 --> 00:08:35,426 It's so obvious that, you know, you're a shy guy, 161 00:08:35,459 --> 00:08:39,143 but you really feel strongly about Freida. 162 00:08:39,176 --> 00:08:41,343 Why don't you pop the question? 163 00:08:41,376 --> 00:08:46,259 Oh! Freida would never marry me. She's so vibrant, sexy. 164 00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:48,343 I want whatever he's drinking. 165 00:08:50,443 --> 00:08:54,159 -I really don't know what she sees in me. -Uh. 166 00:08:58,293 --> 00:09:00,209 It's your eyes. 167 00:09:02,426 --> 00:09:04,373 Besides, I could never give her 168 00:09:04,703 --> 00:09:06,193 the kind of life that she's used to. 169 00:09:06,226 --> 00:09:09,043 Parties, nightclubbing... 170 00:09:09,373 --> 00:09:11,873 I'm not a very exciting man. 171 00:09:17,143 --> 00:09:21,493 -I can't even-- -Oh, Fred, don't be embarrassed. 172 00:09:21,526 --> 00:09:23,493 You know, you can do other things. 173 00:09:23,526 --> 00:09:27,359 And, really, most women just like to cuddle. 174 00:09:30,326 --> 00:09:32,043 I was going to say dance. 175 00:09:32,373 --> 00:09:33,393 Ah. 176 00:09:33,426 --> 00:09:38,143 Well, that's good because that cuddle thing is a big myth. 177 00:09:39,309 --> 00:09:42,409 Oh, Fred, I can teach you how to dance. 178 00:09:42,443 --> 00:09:46,493 A couple of private lessons, you'll sweep her off her feet. 179 00:09:46,526 --> 00:09:50,226 You must really love your aunt. She'd be moved. 180 00:09:50,259 --> 00:09:55,459 Well, moving my aunt is a big priority in my family. 181 00:10:00,459 --> 00:10:03,226 I should never have let you teach me to mambo. 182 00:10:03,259 --> 00:10:05,493 Oh, no, Fred, it's okay. 183 00:10:05,526 --> 00:10:07,176 You know, in China, 184 00:10:07,209 --> 00:10:09,359 women without toes are considered sexy. 185 00:10:10,326 --> 00:10:11,426 Well, let's face it, Fran, 186 00:10:11,459 --> 00:10:13,443 I'll never be known for my dancing. 187 00:10:17,459 --> 00:10:20,493 Nonsense, Fred. You're very light on your feet. 188 00:10:20,526 --> 00:10:24,476 I'm sure there was a pair of ski boots under here somewhere. 189 00:10:24,509 --> 00:10:26,393 Look, let's forget the whole thing. 190 00:10:26,426 --> 00:10:28,426 Oh, no, no. Fred, 191 00:10:28,459 --> 00:10:30,476 if you don't leave here with Freida, 192 00:10:30,509 --> 00:10:33,203 I will regret it for the rest of my life. 193 00:10:33,543 --> 00:10:34,243 Did I say I? 194 00:10:35,293 --> 00:10:38,143 Let me demonstrate. Watch me. 195 00:10:40,203 --> 00:10:42,243 One, two, three. One, two, three. 196 00:10:42,276 --> 00:10:45,176 Turn, turn, turn. Shimmy, shimmy, shimmy. 197 00:10:47,543 --> 00:10:49,873 Now, you try it. 198 00:10:49,159 --> 00:10:51,159 [MAMBO MUSIC PLAYING] 199 00:11:11,143 --> 00:11:13,203 I'll never be as good as you. 200 00:11:13,509 --> 00:11:15,493 Don't compare yourself to me. 201 00:11:15,526 --> 00:11:17,526 I was onDance Fever. 202 00:11:20,209 --> 00:11:22,193 I'll just show you a couple of steps 203 00:11:22,226 --> 00:11:24,226 so you can fake it, okay? 204 00:11:25,409 --> 00:11:27,393 One, two, three. 205 00:11:27,426 --> 00:11:30,459 Hey, I kind of like that. 206 00:11:30,493 --> 00:11:32,203 You're getting it. 207 00:11:32,543 --> 00:11:33,873 Oh, whap! 208 00:11:33,159 --> 00:11:35,143 Now, just keep doing the same thing 209 00:11:35,176 --> 00:11:36,359 over and over again. 210 00:11:36,393 --> 00:11:38,509 -Oh, whap! -Well, not that. 211 00:11:39,043 --> 00:11:40,276 That could get annoying. 212 00:11:41,359 --> 00:11:44,326 -Fran, wait. Ooh... -You're doing great. 213 00:11:44,359 --> 00:11:45,493 There's something's wrong with my arm. 214 00:11:45,526 --> 00:11:47,393 Worry more about your feet. 215 00:11:47,426 --> 00:11:49,226 -Really. -Fred, not so close. 216 00:11:49,259 --> 00:11:51,543 Don't tip me. Fred! 217 00:11:52,393 --> 00:11:55,526 Fred. Fred. 218 00:11:56,359 --> 00:11:58,326 Hello, Fred. 219 00:11:58,359 --> 00:12:01,493 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. 220 00:12:01,526 --> 00:12:05,159 Oh, my God. Oh! 221 00:12:05,193 --> 00:12:07,276 Oh, my God. 222 00:12:19,259 --> 00:12:24,203 Fred, I hope for your sake, that's rigor mortis setting in. 223 00:12:34,426 --> 00:12:37,509 NURSE [OVER RADIO]:Dr. Warner wanted in Radiology please. 224 00:12:38,043 --> 00:12:40,176 Can you believe that she did this to me 225 00:12:40,209 --> 00:12:42,373 under my own roof? 226 00:12:43,359 --> 00:12:46,443 Oh, my Momma, I'm gonna faint. Hold me. 227 00:12:46,476 --> 00:12:49,526 Hold you? I'm still paying for this hip. 228 00:12:54,043 --> 00:12:56,259 You happy, hot pants? 229 00:12:56,293 --> 00:12:59,426 Don't you yell at my daughter, Nettie. 230 00:12:59,459 --> 00:13:01,493 What the hell is wrong with you? 231 00:13:01,526 --> 00:13:04,293 Are you so desperate to get married? 232 00:13:04,326 --> 00:13:07,526 [SHOUTS] Where is this insanity coming from? 233 00:13:15,043 --> 00:13:18,209 Mr. Sheffield is here. Put some lipstick on. 234 00:13:20,209 --> 00:13:22,203 Why won't anyone believe me? 235 00:13:22,543 --> 00:13:24,343 I was just trying to get those two together. 236 00:13:24,376 --> 00:13:27,409 Just because he was lying on me with romantic music 237 00:13:27,443 --> 00:13:29,459 at 1:00 in the morning doesn't mean... 238 00:13:29,493 --> 00:13:33,509 You know, this would all be a non-issue if I was running opposite Dole. 239 00:13:39,493 --> 00:13:41,443 I've got an 8:00 a.m. appointment. 240 00:13:41,476 --> 00:13:43,459 Niles, would you let C.C. know what happened. 241 00:13:43,493 --> 00:13:45,373 Oh, I already phoned her sir. 242 00:13:45,703 --> 00:13:46,226 Told her a certain millionaire 243 00:13:46,259 --> 00:13:48,393 suffered a heart attack in Ms. Fine's bed. 244 00:13:48,426 --> 00:13:50,373 C.C.: Maxwell! 245 00:13:54,293 --> 00:13:58,873 -You're all right? -Oh dear. You thought I meant him? 246 00:14:01,509 --> 00:14:04,159 He can have visitors now, but he's weak 247 00:14:04,193 --> 00:14:06,176 so you should only go in one at a time. 248 00:14:06,209 --> 00:14:07,359 -All right. -Absolutely. We will. 249 00:14:07,393 --> 00:14:09,343 -Thank you. -Thanks for taking 250 00:14:09,376 --> 00:14:11,176 -such good care of him. -One at a time. 251 00:14:11,209 --> 00:14:13,043 -We appreciate it. -Go! 252 00:14:16,426 --> 00:14:18,293 Fred. 253 00:14:18,326 --> 00:14:20,259 Freddy. 254 00:14:20,293 --> 00:14:22,193 It's your Freida-la. 255 00:14:23,326 --> 00:14:26,276 Are you-- Are you all right? Can you hear? 256 00:14:26,309 --> 00:14:28,703 His color's not so good. 257 00:14:28,143 --> 00:14:29,393 Well hat hose you're standing on 258 00:14:29,426 --> 00:14:31,493 might have something to do with it. 259 00:14:34,226 --> 00:14:36,409 You have the nerve to speak to me? 260 00:14:36,443 --> 00:14:39,443 I didn't do anything. I'm innocent. 261 00:14:39,476 --> 00:14:42,509 Shh! Look, he's trying to say something. 262 00:14:43,043 --> 00:14:46,276 Fran, you're so good. 263 00:14:50,393 --> 00:14:52,143 Put my leg where? 264 00:14:53,276 --> 00:14:55,543 Where the heck is that hose? 265 00:14:56,193 --> 00:14:59,509 You... You husband stealer, you. 266 00:15:00,043 --> 00:15:03,143 Now, who's gonna take care of me? 267 00:15:03,176 --> 00:15:04,376 Where am I gonna live? 268 00:15:04,409 --> 00:15:07,409 -Bed time. -I made plans! 269 00:15:17,409 --> 00:15:19,873 Any idea of Ms. Fine 270 00:15:19,159 --> 00:15:22,373 being seriously involved with Fred is absurd. 271 00:15:22,703 --> 00:15:23,393 Oh, why do you say that, sir? 272 00:15:23,426 --> 00:15:26,176 Come on, man, he's nice, but... 273 00:15:26,209 --> 00:15:30,359 well, she couldn't be interested inhim 274 00:15:32,393 --> 00:15:34,159 What's so great about you? 275 00:15:37,703 --> 00:15:39,509 I mean, what's so great about you is your ability-- 276 00:15:40,043 --> 00:15:41,293 -Oh, shut up. -Right. 277 00:15:44,226 --> 00:15:47,259 Of course it's only a matter of time before she does find someone 278 00:15:47,293 --> 00:15:50,343 if she keeps putting herself out there. 279 00:15:50,376 --> 00:15:53,543 Do you think she's doing all this just to spite me 280 00:15:53,873 --> 00:15:55,459 for taking back the, you know, thing? 281 00:15:57,326 --> 00:16:00,259 Well, it's very difficult to say, sir, considering the fact 282 00:16:00,293 --> 00:16:02,343 I don't know what the bloody thing is. 283 00:16:06,143 --> 00:16:08,393 Oh, well, I might as well tell you. 284 00:16:08,426 --> 00:16:10,443 [PHONE RINGING] 285 00:16:20,243 --> 00:16:21,509 We'll get back to them. 286 00:16:23,259 --> 00:16:25,493 First of all, no one else must ever know 287 00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:28,176 what I'm about to tell you. 288 00:16:28,209 --> 00:16:30,243 All right. Let me see, 289 00:16:30,276 --> 00:16:32,459 we were on our way back from Paris. 290 00:16:32,493 --> 00:16:35,509 And, well, I thought we were about to die, 291 00:16:36,043 --> 00:16:39,459 so I turned to Ms. Fine and I told her I loved her. 292 00:16:41,203 --> 00:16:46,873 Then I panicked, took it back and, well, that's it. 293 00:16:46,159 --> 00:16:50,526 So, now you know what the thing is. 294 00:16:54,526 --> 00:16:57,393 NILES: [FRUSTRATED SCREAM] 295 00:17:00,293 --> 00:17:03,343 Fran, I refuse to share a bathroom with your aunt anymore. 296 00:17:03,376 --> 00:17:07,873 I brushed my teeth with some chick product. 297 00:17:07,159 --> 00:17:09,293 Don't even want to speculate what that was. 298 00:17:10,376 --> 00:17:12,209 Oh, what are you complaining about? 299 00:17:12,243 --> 00:17:14,426 There's like a toenail fromJurassic Park 300 00:17:14,459 --> 00:17:15,526 in my bathroom. 301 00:17:18,209 --> 00:17:19,293 And look at this. 302 00:17:19,326 --> 00:17:21,343 Your aunt ate the entire box of chocolates 303 00:17:21,376 --> 00:17:23,159 that my boyfriend gave me. 304 00:17:23,193 --> 00:17:24,376 Oh, don't worry, kids. 305 00:17:24,409 --> 00:17:26,393 I'll take care of everything. 306 00:17:29,509 --> 00:17:31,293 Nanny Fine, I didn't know 307 00:17:31,326 --> 00:17:33,476 you were attracted to decrepit old men. 308 00:17:33,509 --> 00:17:37,159 Am I gonna have to keep my eye on the two of you now? 309 00:17:38,259 --> 00:17:41,209 In my day, two people got to know each other first. 310 00:17:41,243 --> 00:17:43,426 In your day, there only were two people. 311 00:17:45,226 --> 00:17:46,326 FRIEDA: Fran. 312 00:17:46,359 --> 00:17:48,376 Franny, darling, 313 00:17:48,409 --> 00:17:52,343 -Fred regained consciousness, he explained everything. -Oh. 314 00:17:52,376 --> 00:17:55,476 -And then he proposed. -[FRAN CHUCKLES] 315 00:17:55,509 --> 00:17:57,309 So can you ever forgive me? 316 00:17:57,343 --> 00:17:59,703 -Did you accept? -Yeah. 317 00:17:59,143 --> 00:18:01,203 All is forgiven. 318 00:18:02,393 --> 00:18:05,703 Oh! There you are. All packed. 319 00:18:06,193 --> 00:18:08,376 Look, how excited they are for me. 320 00:18:08,409 --> 00:18:10,343 Not quite yet, my loves, 321 00:18:10,376 --> 00:18:13,243 because, you know, there's still so much to do. 322 00:18:13,276 --> 00:18:14,309 And I haven't even decided 323 00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,276 where I'm gonna have the ceremony 324 00:18:16,309 --> 00:18:19,873 now that I'm getting married. 325 00:18:19,159 --> 00:18:21,509 -Hear, hear. -Here? 326 00:18:22,203 --> 00:18:25,703 Oh, you are a doll. 327 00:18:27,543 --> 00:18:30,176 So I'm gonna go upstairs and try on my old wedding gown. 328 00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:34,159 Come on, kids, help zip me up. 329 00:18:34,193 --> 00:18:35,476 I'll get the pliers. 330 00:18:38,226 --> 00:18:41,326 All right. I--I know, something just happened. 331 00:18:41,359 --> 00:18:44,193 You just offered to have Freida's wedding here. 332 00:18:44,226 --> 00:18:47,209 What? Well, why didn't you bloody say something? 333 00:18:47,243 --> 00:18:48,393 Oh, calm down. 334 00:18:48,426 --> 00:18:50,293 Do you think that I would subject you 335 00:18:50,326 --> 00:18:53,293 to the horror of a Fine family affair? 336 00:18:53,326 --> 00:18:56,873 Not after what happened Grandma Yetta's birthday party, 337 00:18:56,159 --> 00:18:58,326 which you know nothing about. So what am I bringing it up for? 338 00:18:58,359 --> 00:19:00,159 Moving on. Moving on. 339 00:19:00,526 --> 00:19:02,209 I can't believe I agreed 340 00:19:02,243 --> 00:19:04,326 to let Freida have her wedding here. 341 00:19:04,359 --> 00:19:08,259 -Oh, relax. I've got a plan. -Oh, thank God. 342 00:19:08,293 --> 00:19:10,493 First, I'll go out and buy a dress for the wedding. 343 00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:12,509 -Yes, right. -Better give me your credit card. 344 00:19:13,043 --> 00:19:15,243 This way it looks like you're going along with it. 345 00:19:15,276 --> 00:19:17,159 Oh, right. Right. 346 00:19:17,193 --> 00:19:20,259 -Okay now, while I'm doing that, you, this'll be a snap for you. 347 00:19:20,293 --> 00:19:23,276 -Go upstairs. Find Freida. -Yeah. Uh-huh. 348 00:19:23,309 --> 00:19:25,243 And take it back. 349 00:19:36,373 --> 00:19:37,293 This is beautiful. 350 00:19:37,326 --> 00:19:40,703 Why is it families only get together 351 00:19:40,143 --> 00:19:42,176 at weddings and funerals? 352 00:19:42,209 --> 00:19:46,159 You know, you wore that dress to her last wedding. 353 00:19:46,193 --> 00:19:50,703 I'm saving the new one for yourshiva, 354 00:19:54,703 --> 00:19:56,209 Well, we don't need anything old or blue. 355 00:19:56,243 --> 00:19:58,376 I just shoved Freida into her corset. 356 00:19:58,409 --> 00:20:00,526 [LAUGHTER] 357 00:20:02,193 --> 00:20:05,203 -Fran, can I talk to you? -Yes. Sure. 358 00:20:05,543 --> 00:20:06,376 I can't go through with this. 359 00:20:06,409 --> 00:20:08,326 Oh, Fred, now, I don't want to hear 360 00:20:08,359 --> 00:20:10,393 that you're not good enough for Freida. 361 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:14,243 You're a wonderful guy. I'd marry you in a second. 362 00:20:14,276 --> 00:20:17,376 Then marry me. I think I'm in love with you. 363 00:20:17,409 --> 00:20:20,543 Fred, don't be ridiculous. 364 00:20:20,873 --> 00:20:22,143 You're just getting cold feet. 365 00:20:22,176 --> 00:20:25,159 I'll give you anything you ever wanted. Yes, I'm worth millions. 366 00:20:25,193 --> 00:20:26,409 This'll do. 367 00:20:27,493 --> 00:20:29,459 No, Fred. 368 00:20:31,509 --> 00:20:35,276 You don't love me. You love Freida. 369 00:20:35,309 --> 00:20:37,209 You guys make a perfect couple. 370 00:20:37,243 --> 00:20:41,276 There is nothing more right in this whole world. 371 00:20:41,309 --> 00:20:43,359 This is so wrong. 372 00:20:43,393 --> 00:20:47,426 You say anything to disturb this ceremony and you're dead. 373 00:20:49,373 --> 00:20:54,193 And do you, Freida Rubinski... Mannarino... 374 00:20:54,226 --> 00:20:58,193 ...Chong'dow... Bitterman... 375 00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:02,143 Excuse us. Coming through. Excuse me just a minute. 376 00:21:02,176 --> 00:21:04,176 -Thank you. -I can't let Freida 377 00:21:04,209 --> 00:21:07,159 -go through with this. -Oh, yes, you can. 378 00:21:07,193 --> 00:21:09,376 My house has turned into a pest motel. 379 00:21:09,409 --> 00:21:12,143 Where the Fines check in but they don't check out. 380 00:21:13,526 --> 00:21:15,176 You don't understand. 381 00:21:15,209 --> 00:21:18,226 He doesn't want to marry her. He said he loves me. 382 00:21:18,259 --> 00:21:19,359 He's confused. 383 00:21:19,393 --> 00:21:21,409 The man just had a near-death experience. 384 00:21:21,443 --> 00:21:23,393 He didn't know what he was saying. 385 00:21:25,493 --> 00:21:27,426 Wait a minute. Let me get this straight. 386 00:21:27,459 --> 00:21:30,276 Now, you're taking it back for him? 387 00:21:32,373 --> 00:21:34,359 Oh. You know, maybe ignorance is bliss. 388 00:21:34,393 --> 00:21:36,459 Maybe I should just let them be happy. 389 00:21:36,493 --> 00:21:39,209 I mean, Freida's been widowed five times. 390 00:21:39,243 --> 00:21:42,543 Maybe six will be her lucky number, who knows. 391 00:21:42,873 --> 00:21:44,193 I do. 392 00:21:45,343 --> 00:21:48,259 Fred. Fred. 393 00:21:48,293 --> 00:21:51,459 -He said, "I do." -[All TOGETHER] We heard him. 394 00:21:59,873 --> 00:22:00,309 Oh, Mr. Sheffield, look, 395 00:22:00,343 --> 00:22:04,203 Aunt Freida sent us a tape from their honeymoon. 396 00:22:05,193 --> 00:22:07,493 I can't believe how well Fred recovered. 397 00:22:07,526 --> 00:22:10,159 I know. Doesn't he look incredible? 398 00:22:10,193 --> 00:22:13,326 Boy, that quadruple bypass really did the trick. 399 00:22:16,259 --> 00:22:18,509 Make them laugh! Ha, ha! 400 00:22:20,226 --> 00:22:22,176 Make them laugh! Ha, ha, ha! 401 00:22:22,209 --> 00:22:25,509 Next week, I'm gonna teach him theMacarena. 402 00:22:27,203 --> 00:22:30,426 [♪♪♪] 403 00:22:33,526 --> 00:22:36,409 [THEME MUSIC PLAYING] 31148

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