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0
00:01:20,384 --> 00:01:22,821
Okay.
So these are the rules.
1
00:01:22,952 --> 00:01:25,259
You have to get
from here to there
2
00:01:25,346 --> 00:01:28,175
without touching
the floor or the light.
3
00:01:28,305 --> 00:01:30,177
All right, Bearbear,
you can do this.
4
00:01:30,307 --> 00:01:32,440
Just have to go slow, okay?
5
00:01:44,539 --> 00:01:46,541
You can do it, Bearbear.
You just have to jump.
6
00:01:47,455 --> 00:01:48,586
Okay, ready?
7
00:02:12,915 --> 00:02:15,265
Sometimes I can feel
the sky as it rotates.
8
00:02:20,488 --> 00:02:22,968
It scatters my thoughts,
creating this...
9
00:02:24,753 --> 00:02:26,015
sound.
10
00:02:28,322 --> 00:02:29,410
And it'll grow louder.
11
00:02:31,499 --> 00:02:32,499
More aggressive.
12
00:02:35,198 --> 00:02:36,417
Like two people fighting.
13
00:02:39,637 --> 00:02:42,292
I look up and I know
I can keep my shit together.
14
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:46,296
And then it rains.
15
00:03:54,321 --> 00:03:55,887
It's gonna stop, baby girl.
16
00:03:56,018 --> 00:03:58,890
If it doesn't,
I'll be the only kid in class
17
00:03:58,977 --> 00:04:00,240
with an indoor swimming pool.
18
00:04:01,719 --> 00:04:04,374
Ooh, quefancy.
19
00:04:06,681 --> 00:04:08,552
You don't need a flood
to stand out.
20
00:04:09,466 --> 00:04:11,381
You've got grease
all over your face.
21
00:04:13,905 --> 00:04:16,430
Oh, yeah.
You, like, totally got it now.
22
00:04:16,560 --> 00:04:18,214
It looks all bad.
23
00:04:27,049 --> 00:04:28,268
It will grow louder.
24
00:04:31,183 --> 00:04:32,576
The lights will turn off.
25
00:04:34,535 --> 00:04:35,535
The roof will cave in.
26
00:04:38,974 --> 00:04:40,323
Everything will fall apart.
27
00:04:43,761 --> 00:04:45,110
And I wonder if you can hear me.
28
00:05:13,313 --> 00:05:14,314
Don't let go.
29
00:05:15,837 --> 00:05:16,837
Don't let go.
30
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:19,319
Please.
31
00:05:37,511 --> 00:05:38,990
Hold your hand.
32
00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,776
No, don't let me.
It's my fault. I did it.
33
00:05:42,951 --> 00:05:44,605
Who's she talking to?
34
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:49,000
Jesus.
35
00:05:49,392 --> 00:05:50,524
Is he listening?
36
00:05:51,655 --> 00:05:52,700
I don't know, baby girl.
37
00:05:54,005 --> 00:05:55,311
Is she crazy?
38
00:06:01,883 --> 00:06:03,101
I don't know, baby girl.
39
00:06:03,232 --> 00:06:04,232
You're on fire.
40
00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:05,539
You set it on fire!
41
00:06:07,671 --> 00:06:10,892
I'm holding your fucking hand,
42
00:06:11,022 --> 00:06:13,808
fuck you, you fucking
ugly fucker, fucker, fucker...
43
00:06:13,895 --> 00:06:17,289
Hold your hand.
I'm holding your hand.
44
00:06:31,826 --> 00:06:32,946
You got lost, Chama, or what?
45
00:06:34,002 --> 00:06:35,220
Where you going?
46
00:06:37,135 --> 00:06:38,702
Don't be all nosy, Matias.
47
00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,879
She has a job interview.
48
00:06:42,010 --> 00:06:43,838
Oh, where at?
49
00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,535
You my PO now or something?
50
00:06:58,200 --> 00:07:00,376
Look, it's, like,
a good job opportunity, okay?
51
00:07:00,898 --> 00:07:02,552
Gonna pay real good,
52
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:04,083
then you won't be
seeing us no more.
53
00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:08,906
Who names their kid Chama?
54
00:07:11,561 --> 00:07:12,867
It's short for Elena.
55
00:07:14,869 --> 00:07:16,784
- No, it isn't.
- It is, if I say it is.
56
00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:19,955
Anybody ever tell you
you got spiders in your veins?
57
00:07:20,004 --> 00:07:21,644
Anyone ever tell you
to put on some shoes?
58
00:07:31,581 --> 00:07:33,235
Come on, baby, get your bag.
59
00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,759
That you?
60
00:07:37,587 --> 00:07:38,719
Yeah, that's me.
61
00:07:39,197 --> 00:07:40,547
Hey, good luck out there.
62
00:07:45,508 --> 00:07:47,205
Let me see.
63
00:07:48,032 --> 00:07:49,967
You're gonna lose everything if
you don't close your backpack.
64
00:07:49,991 --> 00:07:51,775
Come on.
Got everything you need?
65
00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,561
Mm-hmm.
66
00:07:54,648 --> 00:07:55,973
I'm gonna be right here,
waiting for you after school.
67
00:07:55,997 --> 00:07:56,997
Really?
68
00:07:57,607 --> 00:07:59,087
Yes, really.
69
00:07:59,217 --> 00:08:00,412
Are you gonna
give me shit today, too?
70
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:01,829
Come on.
71
00:08:01,959 --> 00:08:03,308
- I love you.
- I love you.
72
00:08:07,748 --> 00:08:08,836
Have fun.
73
00:08:24,155 --> 00:08:25,679
I remember being her age.
74
00:08:28,682 --> 00:08:29,962
That's when
I learned how to lie.
75
00:08:31,423 --> 00:08:33,164
I used to tell teachers
I was sick.
76
00:08:33,687 --> 00:08:34,927
That's why I was missing school.
77
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:38,779
When I did go,
I tried to blend in.
78
00:08:39,606 --> 00:08:41,477
I brushed my hair,
79
00:08:41,608 --> 00:08:42,739
cleaned my nails...
80
00:08:44,132 --> 00:08:46,830
but inside I felt
ants crawling up my skin.
81
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:51,139
I just wanted to grow up,
so everything would be better.
82
00:08:51,269 --> 00:08:52,401
Give me a chance.
83
00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:55,839
I can do the work.
84
00:08:57,667 --> 00:08:58,799
I can!
85
00:08:59,277 --> 00:09:00,757
I'm sure you can.
86
00:09:01,453 --> 00:09:04,152
Come on, quiz me.
I know this shit.
87
00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,602
When I was younger
I used to watch
88
00:09:05,675 --> 00:09:07,155
my abuelo tear cars apart.
89
00:09:07,721 --> 00:09:09,244
He taught me
literally everything.
90
00:09:09,984 --> 00:09:12,421
I got an '85
Buick LeSabre I rebuilt.
91
00:09:13,204 --> 00:09:14,597
Runs perfectly...
92
00:09:15,250 --> 00:09:16,599
if it had a fuel pump.
93
00:09:17,252 --> 00:09:18,949
But I can't get a new fuel pump
94
00:09:19,080 --> 00:09:20,960
if I don't got a job
and if I don't got a job...
95
00:09:21,952 --> 00:09:23,345
Look.
96
00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,280
I'm just trying
to get back on my feet, okay?
97
00:09:31,527 --> 00:09:32,528
I have a daughter.
98
00:09:36,314 --> 00:09:38,665
Look, the economy's
kicking my ass.
99
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:40,231
I'm just not hiring right now.
100
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:33,518
Abueloused to say that
if you find a black feather...
101
00:11:37,044 --> 00:11:38,132
it's a warning.
102
00:15:57,304 --> 00:15:58,740
We made dinner.
103
00:15:58,870 --> 00:16:00,110
There's some left in the fridge.
104
00:16:01,134 --> 00:16:02,439
She's sleeping, Elena.
105
00:16:02,570 --> 00:16:03,963
She's my daughter.
106
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:05,921
I know she's sleeping, okay?
107
00:16:07,096 --> 00:16:08,619
Don't look at me like that.
108
00:16:09,403 --> 00:16:11,753
- You're in my home.
- That the state pays for.
109
00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:18,412
I was robbed, okay?
110
00:16:19,065 --> 00:16:20,145
Don't pretend like you care.
111
00:16:21,545 --> 00:16:23,243
Because if you gave two shits,
112
00:16:23,373 --> 00:16:25,027
you'd drive around
and look for them.
113
00:16:25,158 --> 00:16:27,421
Oh, I would drive around
and look for your shoes?
114
00:16:27,508 --> 00:16:29,355
Why would you ever want to
look for the imaginary person
115
00:16:29,379 --> 00:16:30,598
who stole your shoes, Elena?
116
00:16:30,728 --> 00:16:32,208
That's not my name.
117
00:16:32,339 --> 00:16:33,579
Stop talking to me like a child.
118
00:16:34,210 --> 00:16:35,472
You know, Friday's her birthday.
119
00:16:35,603 --> 00:16:37,083
I fucking know
Friday's her birthday.
120
00:16:37,213 --> 00:16:38,606
If you weren't my sister...
121
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,174
So, what?
You'd go? So fucking go!
122
00:16:41,304 --> 00:16:42,871
You are just like Mom.
123
00:16:44,394 --> 00:16:45,656
One of these times...
124
00:16:46,179 --> 00:16:47,299
they're gonna take her away.
125
00:16:51,227 --> 00:16:52,707
Get the fuck out of my house.
126
00:16:53,621 --> 00:16:54,839
Get the fuck out!
127
00:19:07,668 --> 00:19:09,148
You know,
I used to have this dream...
128
00:19:10,192 --> 00:19:11,411
that I got, like, no face...
129
00:19:12,455 --> 00:19:14,805
and I'm just a shadow,
130
00:19:14,936 --> 00:19:16,155
floating over the desert.
131
00:19:18,548 --> 00:19:21,290
And I got, like,
this bag of hammers
132
00:19:21,421 --> 00:19:23,510
and I'm just, like,
chucking them at cows.
133
00:19:24,206 --> 00:19:25,686
What do you think that means?
134
00:19:26,295 --> 00:19:27,862
That you need serious help.
135
00:19:27,992 --> 00:19:30,038
Toaster always
showed up when I needed her.
136
00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,787
You can't just, like, open it.
137
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:42,355
- Why not?
- You broke it.
138
00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:44,400
Last year, Nevaeh loved red.
139
00:19:45,401 --> 00:19:48,361
I think this year,
she likes the color purple.
140
00:19:49,927 --> 00:19:52,191
Like that Oprah movie
about racism?
141
00:19:54,628 --> 00:19:56,456
Balloons.
142
00:20:06,944 --> 00:20:08,468
You never, like,
look up your dreams
143
00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:09,678
and find out what they mean?
144
00:20:11,471 --> 00:20:12,471
I don't dream.
145
00:20:13,647 --> 00:20:15,562
Every bitch dreams.
146
00:20:15,692 --> 00:20:17,520
Come on, you probably
just don't remember it.
147
00:20:17,651 --> 00:20:18,782
Mm-mm.
148
00:20:21,916 --> 00:20:24,036
Maybe that's what I'll study
when I go back to school.
149
00:20:26,399 --> 00:20:27,530
Why Chama don't dream?
150
00:20:30,794 --> 00:20:32,622
Stupid. Siempre.
151
00:20:32,753 --> 00:20:35,103
No.
152
00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,584
No, for serious.
153
00:20:39,412 --> 00:20:41,762
I'm going back.
154
00:20:41,892 --> 00:20:44,286
Toaster is one of those
bitches from the Heights.
155
00:20:44,417 --> 00:20:46,332
She actually knew her father.
156
00:20:46,419 --> 00:20:48,377
He'd buy her things.
157
00:20:48,508 --> 00:20:50,771
She never worried about nothing.
158
00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:53,252
Toaster was all cool.
159
00:20:53,382 --> 00:20:54,731
And I wanted to be her.
160
00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:57,604
She was a dreamer.
161
00:20:58,431 --> 00:20:59,431
I'm going back.
162
00:21:01,738 --> 00:21:02,957
My dad's gonna pay.
163
00:21:04,915 --> 00:21:06,700
It's gonna be
like it used to be, you know?
164
00:21:08,005 --> 00:21:09,268
He's gonna be proud of me.
165
00:21:12,009 --> 00:21:13,609
I don't know,
maybe I'll be just, like...
166
00:21:14,708 --> 00:21:16,405
some counselor, you know?
167
00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:20,757
Like, help
all these bitches out.
168
00:21:23,804 --> 00:21:25,066
I could tell 'em what's up.
169
00:21:28,504 --> 00:21:30,680
Toaster always
showed up when I needed her.
170
00:21:30,811 --> 00:21:33,292
She'd help me fix everything.
171
00:21:38,514 --> 00:21:40,081
I can make my daughter happy.
172
00:21:44,999 --> 00:21:46,783
I can keep my shit together.
173
00:21:54,704 --> 00:21:56,445
I can make my daughter happy.
174
00:21:56,576 --> 00:21:58,317
I can make my daughter happy.
175
00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:10,677
I can make my daughter happy.
176
00:22:10,807 --> 00:22:13,593
I can make my daughter happy.
I can make my daughter happy.
177
00:22:13,723 --> 00:22:15,943
I can make my daughter happy.
178
00:22:16,073 --> 00:22:18,008
I can keep my shit together.
I can make my daughter happy.
179
00:22:18,032 --> 00:22:19,338
I can make my daughter happy.
180
00:22:21,078 --> 00:22:22,645
I can keep my shit together.
181
00:22:24,081 --> 00:22:25,779
I can make my daughter happy.
182
00:22:28,912 --> 00:22:30,653
I can keep my shit together.
183
00:23:49,515 --> 00:23:50,690
Hey, baby girl, what's wrong?
184
00:23:51,778 --> 00:23:52,779
I don't know.
185
00:23:53,823 --> 00:23:55,042
Hey.
186
00:23:55,172 --> 00:23:56,565
Don't let bullshit push you.
187
00:24:04,704 --> 00:24:06,314
Sometimes I just
want to hide, too.
188
00:24:08,751 --> 00:24:09,796
Just, like, run away.
189
00:24:13,582 --> 00:24:15,279
But everybody's already here,
190
00:24:15,410 --> 00:24:17,456
so you might as well
just take all their presents.
191
00:24:27,988 --> 00:24:29,816
You were born two months early,
you know why?
192
00:24:30,904 --> 00:24:32,209
Hmm?
193
00:24:33,297 --> 00:24:35,299
Because you were
so excited to meet your mama.
194
00:24:36,953 --> 00:24:38,477
And I was to meet you.
195
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,350
There she is.
196
00:24:47,181 --> 00:24:48,835
You're my baby girl,
you're all I got.
197
00:24:50,967 --> 00:24:51,968
You're all I got.
198
00:24:56,625 --> 00:24:57,931
I hope that's not true.
199
00:25:00,890 --> 00:25:02,849
Go on.
Have fun, it's your birthday.
200
00:25:51,811 --> 00:25:53,029
I can keep my shit.
201
00:25:56,816 --> 00:25:58,034
Elena?
202
00:26:28,978 --> 00:26:29,978
Elena, are you in there?
203
00:26:43,819 --> 00:26:45,691
Come on. Open up.
204
00:26:45,778 --> 00:26:47,170
Elena.
205
00:26:47,867 --> 00:26:49,307
I've been looking
for you everywhere.
206
00:26:50,783 --> 00:26:52,872
You did all right... good, okay?
207
00:26:54,177 --> 00:26:55,614
Not out here to talk shit.
208
00:26:59,226 --> 00:27:00,619
Hey.
209
00:27:03,099 --> 00:27:04,448
Let's just go out and sing.
210
00:27:19,072 --> 00:27:20,073
Look, you know what?
211
00:27:22,205 --> 00:27:23,511
You don't get to do this.
212
00:27:25,078 --> 00:27:26,645
Not today, this isn't about you.
213
00:27:31,475 --> 00:27:34,130
You think you're so special
214
00:27:34,261 --> 00:27:36,021
and that nobody else matters,
but guess what?
215
00:27:37,786 --> 00:27:38,961
They do.
216
00:28:03,725 --> 00:28:04,857
Somebody help me!
217
00:28:06,946 --> 00:28:08,556
Somebody help!
218
00:28:11,733 --> 00:28:12,778
Now!
219
00:28:27,140 --> 00:28:28,420
I know
what you all are thinking.
220
00:28:29,185 --> 00:28:30,752
Shit gets all fucked.
221
00:28:31,274 --> 00:28:32,667
But that's just the way it goes.
222
00:28:34,060 --> 00:28:36,584
I had this
one bitch try to tell me,
223
00:28:36,715 --> 00:28:39,674
"If you just got a real job,
everything would be all right."
224
00:28:40,370 --> 00:28:42,764
Bitch! I have a felony.
225
00:28:42,895 --> 00:28:44,853
Who's gonna hire me?
Who's gonna teach me?
226
00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:47,769
All I know
is selling dope, hustling.
227
00:28:48,378 --> 00:28:50,250
That's all anyone
was willing to show me.
228
00:28:51,338 --> 00:28:54,950
So, with four little brothers
at home, yeah,
229
00:28:55,081 --> 00:28:58,084
I was gonna hustle
to buy them food and, yeah,
230
00:28:58,214 --> 00:29:00,174
I was gonna smoke to forget
everything I had done.
231
00:29:01,174 --> 00:29:02,174
And yeah.
232
00:29:03,219 --> 00:29:04,917
Shit's gonna get fucked.
233
00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:29,550
I was once a little girl.
234
00:29:31,770 --> 00:29:33,772
Trying to keep my sister safe.
235
00:29:37,427 --> 00:29:38,994
I thought it would all work out.
236
00:29:42,519 --> 00:29:43,912
I used to run toAbuelo's.
237
00:29:46,567 --> 00:29:47,960
He showed me how to fix things.
238
00:29:52,442 --> 00:29:53,748
You showed me how to break them.
239
00:29:59,362 --> 00:30:00,799
You fucking took them, huh?
240
00:30:00,886 --> 00:30:01,930
Let's go.
241
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:14,334
You drove around
with bottles on the floor.
242
00:30:14,464 --> 00:30:16,205
Your music turned up.
243
00:30:16,336 --> 00:30:18,033
You'd smoke a full pack,
244
00:30:18,164 --> 00:30:20,514
but you still
smelled like roses.
245
00:30:24,692 --> 00:30:26,825
We cried as you pulled
the glass out of our skin.
246
00:30:33,440 --> 00:30:34,310
I am my mother's daughter.
247
00:30:34,441 --> 00:30:35,790
Elena.
248
00:30:45,104 --> 00:30:46,670
Can you tell me
what you were doing?
249
00:30:50,239 --> 00:30:51,675
You're lucky to be alive.
250
00:30:54,374 --> 00:30:56,294
If it hadn't been for
the Narcan you'd be dead...
251
00:30:58,204 --> 00:31:00,032
you probably
wouldn't be here right now.
252
00:31:04,558 --> 00:31:05,951
How much do you normally use?
253
00:31:09,693 --> 00:31:11,739
Was it an accident
or was it intentional?
254
00:31:31,237 --> 00:31:32,978
It's a selfish act,
255
00:31:33,108 --> 00:31:34,348
especially when you're pregnant.
256
00:31:52,127 --> 00:31:53,127
You didn't know?
257
00:32:30,949 --> 00:32:32,428
I was 21.
258
00:32:34,082 --> 00:32:35,779
I'd work on cars, because...
259
00:32:36,998 --> 00:32:38,043
what else am I gonna do?
260
00:32:51,317 --> 00:32:53,145
It was also
the last time I used a needle.
261
00:32:54,755 --> 00:32:55,930
Nobody knew.
262
00:32:57,062 --> 00:32:58,062
I was quiet.
263
00:32:59,760 --> 00:33:01,414
But I always seemed in control.
264
00:33:03,807 --> 00:33:04,852
You're doing it all wrong.
265
00:33:06,723 --> 00:33:08,683
You should be cranking it
the other way, you know?
266
00:33:10,336 --> 00:33:12,033
I'm tightening the tensioner.
267
00:33:12,599 --> 00:33:14,949
Going clockwise,
so the nut can do its job.
268
00:33:17,996 --> 00:33:18,996
That's what's up.
269
00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:23,478
You know, I see you.
270
00:33:26,439 --> 00:33:28,006
You was down
at Chopay's the other day.
271
00:33:28,963 --> 00:33:30,312
Looking all cool and shit.
272
00:33:33,794 --> 00:33:36,884
I see you and I want to
holler at you, mija.
273
00:33:39,147 --> 00:33:40,147
Why?
274
00:33:42,411 --> 00:33:44,051
Because you look like
you need someone to.
275
00:33:49,201 --> 00:33:50,202
So what it is?
276
00:33:51,725 --> 00:33:53,031
Can I help you start it or what?
277
00:34:08,785 --> 00:34:11,223
Santi was all bad.
278
00:34:11,353 --> 00:34:12,876
Smelled like
hairspray and sweat.
279
00:34:15,749 --> 00:34:17,142
Reminded me ofAbuelo.
280
00:34:19,361 --> 00:34:20,481
Know how many times he lost?
281
00:34:22,495 --> 00:34:23,800
Five.
282
00:34:23,931 --> 00:34:25,541
He worshiped boxing
283
00:34:25,628 --> 00:34:27,413
and the boxers
who wouldn't quit.
284
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,260
Know how many times
he's got back up and won?
285
00:34:29,328 --> 00:34:30,720
59, baby!
286
00:34:31,808 --> 00:34:33,786
He just sticks out his tongue
and he knows no matter
287
00:34:33,810 --> 00:34:35,551
where he grow up,
no matter how he grow up,
288
00:34:35,638 --> 00:34:37,158
what he could do,
you know what I mean?
289
00:34:38,598 --> 00:34:40,469
He says,
290
00:34:40,600 --> 00:34:42,471
"Hey, pass me the ball,
pass me the bills.
291
00:34:43,646 --> 00:34:45,518
Albuquerque.
292
00:34:45,605 --> 00:34:48,216
Up to you, champ.
Albuquerque.
293
00:34:48,347 --> 00:34:50,262
I'm still the champ.
294
00:34:50,392 --> 00:34:52,264
Hey, Grandma, Grandpa,
I'm still your champ!"
295
00:34:54,396 --> 00:34:55,789
I'd tattoo him on my body.
296
00:34:57,747 --> 00:34:59,347
And he promised
to never let me get sick.
297
00:35:01,447 --> 00:35:04,276
We'd get a house together.
298
00:35:04,406 --> 00:35:08,193
I'd get pregnant.
Stop using.
299
00:35:08,323 --> 00:35:11,544
I'd worship him,
because he gave me Nevaeh.
300
00:35:11,674 --> 00:35:15,330
She'd be born at home,
just like I was.
301
00:35:15,461 --> 00:35:17,811
He'd play the guitar
for our daughter.
302
00:35:17,941 --> 00:35:19,901
He wasn't very good,
but I didn't know any better.
303
00:35:21,902 --> 00:35:23,077
Then he was gone.
304
00:35:24,426 --> 00:35:25,427
I was alone.
305
00:35:26,776 --> 00:35:28,082
And seven years later...
306
00:35:47,623 --> 00:35:48,929
I need you to nod your head
307
00:35:49,016 --> 00:35:50,416
that you understand
what's going on.
308
00:35:52,454 --> 00:35:53,534
It's in your best interest.
309
00:35:58,504 --> 00:36:00,767
An investigator from CPS
is gonna sit down
310
00:36:00,897 --> 00:36:01,942
- with your daughter.
- No.
311
00:36:03,378 --> 00:36:04,553
You're going to scare her.
312
00:36:05,119 --> 00:36:06,512
She's already scared.
313
00:36:13,562 --> 00:36:14,762
We've got a house full of love,
314
00:36:14,868 --> 00:36:16,739
you don't even know.
315
00:36:16,870 --> 00:36:18,326
Do you have a contact
number for her father?
316
00:36:18,350 --> 00:36:19,590
What do you think he's gonna do?
317
00:36:20,178 --> 00:36:22,005
You just want
to take away my baby.
318
00:36:22,136 --> 00:36:24,182
Our intention
is never to remove a child
319
00:36:24,312 --> 00:36:25,487
from their home.
320
00:36:26,314 --> 00:36:28,142
Unless we feel
the child is in danger.
321
00:36:29,448 --> 00:36:30,797
Do I look dangerous?
322
00:36:32,581 --> 00:36:34,322
The situation at the party...
323
00:36:34,453 --> 00:36:35,453
Was an accident!
324
00:36:39,806 --> 00:36:42,374
It was... it was...
325
00:36:47,988 --> 00:36:49,337
It was an accident.
326
00:36:50,773 --> 00:36:52,340
It's never gonna happen again.
327
00:36:56,779 --> 00:36:58,059
Do you understand
why we're here?
328
00:37:08,965 --> 00:37:11,098
Hey, baby girl. Hey.
329
00:37:24,807 --> 00:37:26,026
It's okay.
330
00:37:26,722 --> 00:37:27,722
Here.
331
00:37:29,856 --> 00:37:31,118
Hey, Bearbear.
332
00:37:36,950 --> 00:37:39,605
I'm sorry.
I messed up.
333
00:37:40,519 --> 00:37:42,390
Everything's gonna
go back to normal.
334
00:37:44,523 --> 00:37:46,264
Will you stop
writing down everything I say?
335
00:37:59,842 --> 00:38:01,104
Come here.
336
00:38:16,468 --> 00:38:18,426
- I love you.
- I love you.
337
00:38:43,625 --> 00:38:44,626
Fuck them, no?
338
00:38:49,457 --> 00:38:51,329
Fuck them for judging us.
339
00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:54,332
You're a good mother.
340
00:38:55,071 --> 00:38:56,203
I just wanna cry.
341
00:38:57,770 --> 00:38:59,424
But nothing's coming out.
342
00:39:00,250 --> 00:39:01,339
They don't know shit.
343
00:39:05,386 --> 00:39:06,605
What's wrong with me, Toaster?
344
00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:14,134
What are you doing, Chama?
345
00:39:15,048 --> 00:39:17,224
You think you got,
like, a choice, really?
346
00:39:18,921 --> 00:39:21,533
A la maquina, dummy.
Not even.
347
00:39:23,535 --> 00:39:24,775
Okay, when we was, like, born...
348
00:39:25,885 --> 00:39:28,888
let's say God, yeah, God.
349
00:39:29,323 --> 00:39:30,629
You know, God was like...
350
00:39:33,545 --> 00:39:36,199
"I'm gonna make
this child super smart.
351
00:39:36,330 --> 00:39:37,897
And then this one?
352
00:39:37,984 --> 00:39:39,638
This one is gonna be
dumb as crackers.
353
00:39:39,768 --> 00:39:41,857
And then this one?
Oh, you know what?
354
00:39:41,988 --> 00:39:44,599
That one is gonna get
a fucking mental illness,
355
00:39:44,686 --> 00:39:47,341
hell yeah, because
that'll be fucking fun, no?
356
00:39:47,472 --> 00:39:48,995
And this one.
357
00:39:49,125 --> 00:39:52,999
This one's gonna have ADHD,
hell yeah!
358
00:39:53,129 --> 00:39:54,827
And this one,
just for shits and giggles,
359
00:39:54,914 --> 00:39:57,046
let's give it leukemia, right?
360
00:39:57,177 --> 00:39:59,832
Because, you know,
life needs more hurdles.
361
00:40:00,528 --> 00:40:02,835
And this one?
Yeah, this one.
362
00:40:02,965 --> 00:40:05,098
This one gets
an addictive personality.
363
00:40:06,404 --> 00:40:07,404
And that one doesn't."
364
00:40:10,973 --> 00:40:12,235
This is us.
365
00:40:15,717 --> 00:40:18,503
We gotta fucking fight
until we win.
366
00:40:20,679 --> 00:40:22,289
We're fucking rebels, no?
367
00:40:24,596 --> 00:40:26,206
And we're gonna
take care of all of it.
368
00:40:29,165 --> 00:40:30,297
Just not today.
369
00:41:13,166 --> 00:41:14,950
I want my baby.
370
00:41:20,869 --> 00:41:23,002
- I want my baby.
- It's okay.
371
00:41:23,611 --> 00:41:26,092
- Shh.
- I want my baby.
372
00:41:26,222 --> 00:41:29,095
Shh, can you just,
like, think it
373
00:41:29,225 --> 00:41:30,879
instead of saying it out loud?
374
00:41:31,010 --> 00:41:32,751
I want my baby!
375
00:41:32,881 --> 00:41:34,840
And I would like her
to shut the fuck up!
376
00:41:36,537 --> 00:41:37,537
What the fuck you say?
377
00:41:41,150 --> 00:41:42,674
No, it's okay.
378
00:41:43,457 --> 00:41:44,937
You can, like,
say that one more time.
379
00:41:45,590 --> 00:41:46,852
Just shut her up.
380
00:41:56,818 --> 00:41:58,898
Do you know what the fuck
my friend has been through?
381
00:42:00,213 --> 00:42:01,823
You want her
to shut the fuck up?
382
00:42:03,172 --> 00:42:04,522
Just go back to your seat.
383
00:42:06,132 --> 00:42:07,525
Go back to my seat?
384
00:42:09,091 --> 00:42:10,789
I'll stand here if I want to.
385
00:42:16,621 --> 00:42:17,622
You're drunk.
386
00:42:20,015 --> 00:42:21,190
What'd you say?
387
00:42:21,756 --> 00:42:23,541
You fucking stink, you're drunk.
388
00:42:28,110 --> 00:42:30,591
Fuck!
Get this crazy bitch off me!
389
00:42:30,722 --> 00:42:31,897
Fuck you!
390
00:42:33,463 --> 00:42:34,552
Fuck!
391
00:42:37,032 --> 00:42:38,817
- Fuck!
- Fuck you!
392
00:42:38,947 --> 00:42:40,166
Look at this place, mija.
393
00:42:40,296 --> 00:42:41,689
That's what you dreamed of.
394
00:42:43,865 --> 00:42:45,737
We can put my mother's
papal cross right here.
395
00:42:45,867 --> 00:42:47,129
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah?
396
00:42:47,260 --> 00:42:48,391
Mm-hmm.
397
00:42:52,134 --> 00:42:54,920
Maybe, like,
a painting right there?
398
00:42:55,007 --> 00:42:56,182
You could put up two.
399
00:42:56,312 --> 00:42:57,749
What do you think?
400
00:42:58,314 --> 00:42:59,446
What do you think?
401
00:43:04,756 --> 00:43:08,934
Oh, and... oh, I have
this doll collection
402
00:43:09,064 --> 00:43:10,999
that my mother found
outside a dumpster in the mall.
403
00:43:11,023 --> 00:43:13,460
- Really?
- It's in perfect condition.
404
00:43:13,591 --> 00:43:15,177
Well, like, perfect condition
for, like, the dumpster,
405
00:43:15,201 --> 00:43:16,641
but I've always
wanted to display it.
406
00:43:17,943 --> 00:43:18,983
Where you gonna put it up?
407
00:43:20,728 --> 00:43:22,034
What do you think?
408
00:43:24,166 --> 00:43:25,167
Are you happy or what?
409
00:43:45,013 --> 00:43:46,101
I wanted a miracle.
410
00:43:47,712 --> 00:43:48,712
And I got one.
411
00:43:51,106 --> 00:43:52,499
I didn't need anything else.
412
00:44:22,268 --> 00:44:23,922
My husband
was at home with my daughter.
413
00:44:25,924 --> 00:44:27,795
I was at the long bar
with my friends.
414
00:44:30,798 --> 00:44:31,798
Boyfriend.
415
00:44:33,671 --> 00:44:34,976
We were all fucked up.
416
00:44:36,891 --> 00:44:37,979
Breaking vows...
417
00:44:39,807 --> 00:44:40,982
and I fell.
418
00:44:41,679 --> 00:44:43,115
Cracked my fucking tailbone.
419
00:44:45,247 --> 00:44:47,162
I put one of those
blue ice packs on it.
420
00:44:47,946 --> 00:44:48,947
It broke.
421
00:44:50,775 --> 00:44:52,037
Dyed my ass blue.
422
00:44:55,954 --> 00:44:57,999
So, I go home
smelling like turpentine...
423
00:44:59,218 --> 00:45:01,220
with a serious fucking injury,
424
00:45:01,350 --> 00:45:02,569
a blue ass...
425
00:45:03,788 --> 00:45:05,267
all the while,
426
00:45:05,354 --> 00:45:07,074
I was just supposed
to be picking up dinner.
427
00:46:22,562 --> 00:46:24,825
Look
who finally decided to show up.
428
00:46:25,434 --> 00:46:27,697
I was out looking
for a present for my dad.
429
00:46:27,828 --> 00:46:29,134
I don't know what to get him.
430
00:46:29,264 --> 00:46:31,049
Maybe another World War Two book
431
00:46:31,136 --> 00:46:33,016
with the card inside
that says, "Happy birthday.
432
00:46:33,138 --> 00:46:34,530
We got nothing in common."
433
00:46:34,661 --> 00:46:36,794
What?
434
00:46:38,186 --> 00:46:39,927
You know your jacket smells?
435
00:46:40,058 --> 00:46:41,189
You ever wash it?
436
00:46:42,103 --> 00:46:43,583
It's not like it touches my ass,
437
00:46:43,670 --> 00:46:45,150
I'm not, like, farting in it...
438
00:46:46,412 --> 00:46:47,500
all the time.
439
00:46:49,154 --> 00:46:50,372
Oh, come on, that was funny.
440
00:46:51,286 --> 00:46:52,806
You know, you really
should laugh more.
441
00:46:52,853 --> 00:46:53,853
Especially here.
442
00:47:07,389 --> 00:47:09,217
Not sure
if I'm supposed to be here.
443
00:47:10,479 --> 00:47:12,264
If you're standing
there, you probably are.
444
00:47:12,394 --> 00:47:13,700
But we don't detox.
445
00:47:15,049 --> 00:47:16,224
I'm clean.
446
00:47:16,703 --> 00:47:17,704
We're full up.
447
00:47:19,271 --> 00:47:20,794
Plus, it's 3:00 PM.
448
00:47:20,925 --> 00:47:22,317
We don't take anyone past noon.
449
00:47:28,323 --> 00:47:29,934
This is the third place
I've tried today.
450
00:47:32,327 --> 00:47:33,851
What's worse
than being invisible?
451
00:47:35,330 --> 00:47:36,897
Being seen as disposable.
452
00:47:51,129 --> 00:47:52,608
I go to the hospital.
453
00:47:52,739 --> 00:47:55,046
Be responsible.
Get checked.
454
00:47:55,133 --> 00:47:56,134
Dose.
455
00:48:00,181 --> 00:48:01,748
I want to rip off my skin.
456
00:48:04,185 --> 00:48:05,230
The way she looks at me.
457
00:48:08,711 --> 00:48:10,322
Does she need to double up?
458
00:48:11,105 --> 00:48:13,020
The nurse.
The fucking nurse.
459
00:48:14,021 --> 00:48:17,285
I'm dirty. Disgusting.
460
00:48:17,416 --> 00:48:19,418
She doesn't see me.
461
00:48:19,548 --> 00:48:21,942
She'll check my chart.
462
00:48:22,029 --> 00:48:23,109
She'll know what I've done.
463
00:49:34,536 --> 00:49:36,321
I told you last time
I wanted to sell you,
464
00:49:36,451 --> 00:49:37,757
you know what I mean?
465
00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:40,344
I just didn't like the way
y'all went out like that.
466
00:49:40,368 --> 00:49:41,587
I know you got something.
467
00:49:41,717 --> 00:49:42,980
Nah, not this time.
468
00:49:49,682 --> 00:49:51,249
Fuck you up. Fucking kill you.
469
00:49:52,641 --> 00:49:53,903
This shit ain't over.
470
00:50:00,432 --> 00:50:01,781
Santi, what did you do?
471
00:50:06,177 --> 00:50:07,482
Keep your fucking mouth shut.
472
00:51:55,460 --> 00:51:56,460
Who's there?
473
00:52:00,900 --> 00:52:02,380
What are you doing, Chama?
474
00:52:04,077 --> 00:52:05,122
Toaster.
475
00:52:09,387 --> 00:52:11,084
You gotta go away.
476
00:52:16,568 --> 00:52:17,568
Go away!
477
00:52:25,707 --> 00:52:26,969
Toaster.
478
00:52:28,275 --> 00:52:30,712
Toaster!
479
00:52:30,843 --> 00:52:32,123
I thought
you wanted me to leave.
480
00:52:35,239 --> 00:52:36,892
No, no.
481
00:52:42,594 --> 00:52:43,638
I'm all alone.
482
00:52:51,298 --> 00:52:53,953
Remember when we first met?
483
00:52:54,083 --> 00:52:56,216
We were working
at some old folks' home
484
00:52:56,347 --> 00:52:57,522
and making food and shit.
485
00:53:00,655 --> 00:53:02,483
Yeah.
486
00:53:02,614 --> 00:53:04,485
We both hated the way
old people were treated.
487
00:53:06,400 --> 00:53:08,054
Like they were a nuisance.
488
00:53:09,751 --> 00:53:11,927
Like they chose
to be old and shit.
489
00:53:12,058 --> 00:53:14,191
You thought I was
like your sister and shit.
490
00:53:14,321 --> 00:53:15,888
You got all mad.
491
00:53:33,035 --> 00:53:34,559
You know what the worst part is?
492
00:53:35,647 --> 00:53:37,605
All of it.
493
00:53:37,736 --> 00:53:39,216
When you're out, Chama.
494
00:53:42,393 --> 00:53:44,743
You start smoking the crumbs.
495
00:53:44,873 --> 00:53:46,397
I've seen you do it.
496
00:53:46,527 --> 00:53:48,268
You're a dummy.
497
00:53:48,399 --> 00:53:49,759
You smoke the crumbs
and then more.
498
00:53:49,878 --> 00:53:52,968
Then you put Selena
on full blast.
499
00:53:53,055 --> 00:53:57,538
But it's not the same
as when you kiss it.
500
00:53:57,625 --> 00:53:59,236
- Put it in.
- No, shut up!
501
00:54:00,759 --> 00:54:02,108
Open up.
502
00:54:02,239 --> 00:54:04,197
No. No!
503
00:54:06,895 --> 00:54:08,723
I've got
something for you, Chama.
504
00:54:10,334 --> 00:54:11,465
No!
505
00:54:23,608 --> 00:54:25,523
I'll do better, I'll do better,
506
00:54:25,653 --> 00:54:27,307
I'll do better, I'll do better,
507
00:54:27,394 --> 00:54:28,569
I promise I'll do better.
508
00:54:31,833 --> 00:54:33,879
You lied. You lied.
509
00:54:44,019 --> 00:54:45,891
No, don't...
Don't move, don't move.
510
00:54:45,978 --> 00:54:47,936
Is it cold?
Is it cold down there?
511
00:54:48,067 --> 00:54:51,157
Please hold on to my hand.
Oh, my God.
512
00:54:59,252 --> 00:55:00,252
Toaster.
513
00:55:01,820 --> 00:55:03,082
Are you fucking with me?
514
00:55:04,083 --> 00:55:05,998
What are you doing, Chama?
515
00:55:06,128 --> 00:55:07,826
Hey.
516
00:55:10,829 --> 00:55:12,309
- Don't you?
- No, sorry.
517
00:55:14,398 --> 00:55:15,518
I only got a couple of bucks.
518
00:55:19,881 --> 00:55:21,492
Come on. Please.
519
00:55:25,452 --> 00:55:27,802
Come on.
Come on. Please.
520
00:55:34,026 --> 00:55:38,335
Come on. Come on.
Come on, please.
521
00:55:46,343 --> 00:55:48,693
I've been talking
to you and not once,
522
00:55:48,780 --> 00:55:51,435
through everything,
have you said anything back.
523
00:55:54,438 --> 00:55:55,526
Are you not there?
524
00:55:57,005 --> 00:55:58,355
Can you not hear me?
525
00:56:40,309 --> 00:56:41,309
Nine months.
526
00:56:44,705 --> 00:56:45,837
Clean.
527
00:56:50,711 --> 00:56:51,756
Look at your arms.
528
00:56:52,452 --> 00:56:55,368
You're a worthless fucking...
529
00:56:56,804 --> 00:56:57,804
junkie.
530
00:57:00,591 --> 00:57:01,871
Why don't
you just kill yourself?
531
00:57:11,950 --> 00:57:12,950
Or you could...
532
00:57:14,735 --> 00:57:15,736
go.
533
00:57:17,085 --> 00:57:18,130
Grab your daughter...
534
00:57:20,349 --> 00:57:21,742
and get out of here.
535
00:57:22,264 --> 00:57:23,614
Get the fuck out of here.
536
00:57:26,791 --> 00:57:27,792
Get the fuck out of here.
537
00:57:30,229 --> 00:57:31,448
Police department, don't move!
538
00:57:31,535 --> 00:57:32,753
Police department!
539
00:58:05,873 --> 00:58:08,528
You wanna know the...
540
00:58:08,659 --> 00:58:11,662
two worst words
in the English vocabulary?
541
00:58:14,795 --> 00:58:16,754
What if...
542
00:58:17,842 --> 00:58:19,757
um, what if...
543
00:58:22,020 --> 00:58:23,630
my dad was the president?
544
00:58:25,502 --> 00:58:26,503
Or what if...
545
00:58:27,939 --> 00:58:29,375
um, my mom...
546
00:58:30,637 --> 00:58:32,291
actually wanted me?
547
00:58:34,946 --> 00:58:36,382
What if...
548
00:58:37,209 --> 00:58:38,950
I was born in London,
549
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:40,212
or...
550
00:58:41,082 --> 00:58:42,388
or Ireland?
551
00:58:45,086 --> 00:58:47,306
Lived on a farm far away?
552
00:58:54,008 --> 00:58:56,141
What if when I ate food
553
00:58:56,228 --> 00:58:57,969
I could keep it down,
554
00:58:58,099 --> 00:59:01,538
like, that wasn't even
a thought, you know?
555
00:59:08,066 --> 00:59:09,328
What if they didn't say...
556
00:59:10,634 --> 00:59:11,634
it was all my fault?
557
00:59:14,638 --> 00:59:15,900
Make up lies about me?
558
00:59:22,776 --> 00:59:24,735
What if he came to get me?
559
00:59:28,216 --> 00:59:29,522
You know where I'm at?
560
00:59:34,483 --> 00:59:36,877
You know, what if
I didn't have to ask what if?
561
01:00:17,744 --> 01:00:18,744
Can't.
562
01:00:21,095 --> 01:00:23,750
♪ Please don't say anything ♪
563
01:00:23,924 --> 01:00:26,013
♪ Anything at all ♪
564
01:00:26,144 --> 01:00:28,929
Look, I've... I've been calling
565
01:00:29,016 --> 01:00:32,063
over and over and no...
Nobody will tell me nothing!
566
01:00:32,237 --> 01:00:35,893
♪ The silence says it all ♪
567
01:00:38,852 --> 01:00:41,463
♪ Blood running
through my veins ♪
568
01:00:41,594 --> 01:00:42,813
Where is she?
569
01:00:49,123 --> 01:00:50,603
Don't worry,
570
01:00:52,126 --> 01:00:53,824
No, don't... don't hang up.
571
01:00:53,954 --> 01:00:55,869
I just... I want
to know where she is.
572
01:00:55,956 --> 01:00:58,611
♪ For that call ♪
573
01:01:02,267 --> 01:01:06,663
♪ Ooh ♪
574
01:01:16,411 --> 01:01:17,499
Can't.
575
01:01:18,326 --> 01:01:19,719
Come on!
576
01:01:20,328 --> 01:01:22,635
What the... what the fuck?
577
01:01:22,766 --> 01:01:23,984
We need help!
578
01:01:24,115 --> 01:01:25,246
Who's gonna help us?
579
01:01:25,638 --> 01:01:27,988
Who? Who, who, who?
580
01:01:28,119 --> 01:01:30,251
- I don't know, I just...
- Say it. What?
581
01:01:30,382 --> 01:01:32,062
- Say it! What are you, dumb?
- I feel like...
582
01:01:32,123 --> 01:01:33,298
Who's gonna help us?
583
01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:36,040
- Who's gonna help us?
- I don't know!
584
01:01:37,302 --> 01:01:38,302
I don't know!
585
01:01:40,174 --> 01:01:41,785
- We need help.
- Who's gonna help us?
586
01:01:41,915 --> 01:01:43,308
I don't know.
I don't know.
587
01:01:44,004 --> 01:01:47,051
I don't... I feel... I feel...
588
01:01:47,181 --> 01:01:49,575
I feel like
I wanna rip my hair out.
589
01:01:50,794 --> 01:01:53,144
I wanna tear my skin off
590
01:01:53,274 --> 01:01:54,885
and walk away from this shit
591
01:01:55,015 --> 01:01:56,582
I feel all the time!
592
01:02:07,854 --> 01:02:08,854
What?
593
01:02:09,726 --> 01:02:10,727
Where are you going?
594
01:02:15,862 --> 01:02:16,863
Where are you going?
595
01:02:18,256 --> 01:02:19,605
You just gonna stumble off?
596
01:02:20,867 --> 01:02:22,027
You gonna stumble right back.
597
01:02:27,265 --> 01:02:28,745
No one gives a shit.
598
01:02:30,268 --> 01:02:31,965
We ain't stupid.
599
01:02:32,096 --> 01:02:33,532
We know there's nothing else.
600
01:02:34,707 --> 01:02:35,839
Where are you going?
601
01:02:37,797 --> 01:02:39,581
Where are you going, Chama?
602
01:03:06,608 --> 01:03:09,133
When Abuelo died, I ran away.
603
01:03:13,441 --> 01:03:14,965
Which brought me
right back to you.
604
01:03:17,315 --> 01:03:18,925
Do you want them
to think you're loca?
605
01:03:19,012 --> 01:03:20,927
Because that's what
they're gonna say, hm?
606
01:03:21,058 --> 01:03:22,738
Look at that crazy,
going around losing it.
607
01:03:33,070 --> 01:03:35,463
It's not fair.
I don't want Abuelo to go.
608
01:03:36,203 --> 01:03:37,883
You think anyone cares
about what you want?
609
01:03:41,426 --> 01:03:43,186
Your sister's not gonna
live with us anymore.
610
01:03:43,820 --> 01:03:45,430
Her father wants her.
611
01:03:45,560 --> 01:03:46,886
Take her back to Texas
and I'm too fucking tired
612
01:03:46,910 --> 01:03:47,910
to keep fighting him.
613
01:03:50,174 --> 01:03:51,828
Just us now.
614
01:03:59,444 --> 01:04:01,422
Don't be mad at what it is
because we're just paying
615
01:04:01,446 --> 01:04:02,886
for something
we did in another life.
616
01:04:04,449 --> 01:04:05,449
Here, drink this.
617
01:04:06,843 --> 01:04:08,279
Not too much.
618
01:04:08,409 --> 01:04:09,809
Just enough
to make you feel better.
619
01:05:09,166 --> 01:05:10,526
I thought
you looked thirsty, mama.
620
01:05:15,607 --> 01:05:17,407
Chart's looking like
you're eight weeks along.
621
01:05:18,262 --> 01:05:19,785
Someone talk to you
about your options?
622
01:05:23,615 --> 01:05:24,921
It's okay, mama, take your time.
623
01:05:33,973 --> 01:05:35,148
Thank you.
624
01:05:36,106 --> 01:05:37,170
You think
you gotta keep it yourself,
625
01:05:37,194 --> 01:05:38,760
but you don't.
626
01:05:39,674 --> 01:05:41,304
I don't know what direction you
gonna go with this pregnancy,
627
01:05:41,328 --> 01:05:43,635
but we can help you
safely transition.
628
01:05:43,765 --> 01:05:45,245
Detox that stuff
out your system.
629
01:05:47,117 --> 01:05:48,379
Or you can continue your way.
630
01:05:51,251 --> 01:05:53,166
You got two options here.
631
01:05:53,297 --> 01:05:55,734
First, you leave,
then there's the second one.
632
01:06:03,524 --> 01:06:05,048
I know I'll see her face again.
633
01:06:11,706 --> 01:06:12,925
The bedpost.
634
01:06:14,231 --> 01:06:15,231
The ceiling.
635
01:06:16,276 --> 01:06:17,276
The mole.
636
01:06:18,235 --> 01:06:19,714
The itch.
637
01:06:19,845 --> 01:06:21,194
Did you hear that?
638
01:06:26,765 --> 01:06:28,462
I know I'll see her face again.
639
01:06:33,990 --> 01:06:36,122
The bedpost. The ceiling.
640
01:06:37,341 --> 01:06:39,038
The mole. The itch.
641
01:06:51,616 --> 01:06:53,357
I know I'll see her face again.
642
01:07:00,581 --> 01:07:03,584
The bedpost.
The ceiling. The mole.
643
01:07:03,715 --> 01:07:04,846
You're looking better.
644
01:07:08,459 --> 01:07:10,287
I know I'll see her face again.
645
01:07:10,417 --> 01:07:11,617
I know I'll see her face again.
646
01:07:11,723 --> 01:07:13,159
You're looking better.
647
01:07:13,290 --> 01:07:14,682
I know I'll see her face again.
648
01:07:14,813 --> 01:07:16,119
You're looking better.
649
01:07:16,249 --> 01:07:17,449
I know I'll see her face again!
650
01:07:32,048 --> 01:07:33,049
First time here?
651
01:07:37,618 --> 01:07:39,794
They think we're all crazy.
652
01:07:39,925 --> 01:07:41,525
Kind of makes me
wanna pop their eye out.
653
01:07:42,841 --> 01:07:45,061
I'm Nell.
654
01:07:49,195 --> 01:07:50,196
Chama.
655
01:07:51,197 --> 01:07:52,198
Like the town.
656
01:07:54,722 --> 01:07:56,072
Chama, New Mexico.
657
01:08:03,296 --> 01:08:05,255
Everything is out to beat us,
658
01:08:06,125 --> 01:08:08,365
but I'm just biding my minutes
'til I get into Guadalupe.
659
01:08:14,133 --> 01:08:15,133
Is this your first time?
660
01:08:16,483 --> 01:08:17,484
Sixth.
661
01:08:22,750 --> 01:08:23,882
See you later.
662
01:08:31,759 --> 01:08:32,759
Bedpost.
663
01:08:36,242 --> 01:08:37,242
Ceiling.
664
01:08:46,687 --> 01:08:48,080
Boredom.
665
01:08:56,697 --> 01:08:57,959
Itch.
666
01:09:01,746 --> 01:09:03,791
Not as sick.
667
01:09:14,367 --> 01:09:15,562
I was
in my Grandma's double-wide
668
01:09:15,586 --> 01:09:16,891
playing with her cat.
669
01:09:17,370 --> 01:09:18,730
Her neighbor
stopped over and asked
670
01:09:18,850 --> 01:09:19,970
if I wanted to try something.
671
01:09:20,808 --> 01:09:22,593
I was like,
"How does it feel?"
672
01:09:22,723 --> 01:09:24,443
He was like, "Don't be a baby.
Just try it."
673
01:09:26,031 --> 01:09:27,685
So I smoked meth
out of a light bulb.
674
01:09:28,773 --> 01:09:30,373
I was like,
"I don't even feel anything."
675
01:09:31,428 --> 01:09:34,300
Then it was days later
676
01:09:34,431 --> 01:09:36,172
and there was no concept
of where time went.
677
01:09:36,302 --> 01:09:38,913
All I know
is Grandma's cat was dead
678
01:09:39,044 --> 01:09:40,437
and I missed my 16th birthday.
679
01:09:49,010 --> 01:09:52,492
I was just thinking
how fucking awesome life is.
680
01:09:52,623 --> 01:09:55,452
I know.
We have clothes and groceries.
681
01:09:55,582 --> 01:09:57,236
Mom's not snorting
dust off the carpet
682
01:09:57,367 --> 01:09:59,238
and we have college funds.
683
01:09:59,369 --> 01:10:01,289
I'm so glad you're not
fuck ups like Tina's kids.
684
01:10:01,371 --> 01:10:03,460
They smell like garbage.
685
01:10:03,590 --> 01:10:05,394
You're also lucky to have
a house with a working heater.
686
01:10:05,418 --> 01:10:06,724
Do people live without a heater?
687
01:10:06,811 --> 01:10:08,247
Oh, yes.
688
01:10:08,334 --> 01:10:10,162
Because usually those people
689
01:10:10,249 --> 01:10:12,077
are fucking strangers for coke.
690
01:10:13,644 --> 01:10:15,515
- Hey, Nick.
- Hello.
691
01:10:20,738 --> 01:10:22,043
Bring back a chicharrón?
692
01:10:23,262 --> 01:10:24,262
Huh?
693
01:10:25,482 --> 01:10:27,005
Are you even New Mexican?
694
01:10:28,485 --> 01:10:30,443
Born and raised.
695
01:10:30,574 --> 01:10:32,414
You're as New Mexican
as Taco Bell green chili.
696
01:10:32,750 --> 01:10:34,969
There, you see?
You do have jokes.
697
01:10:35,056 --> 01:10:36,536
They're not
necessarily good, but...
698
01:10:57,122 --> 01:11:00,081
♪ I'm gettin' better,
gettin' better all the time ♪
699
01:11:04,521 --> 01:11:06,349
Hey, hey, hold up.
700
01:11:06,479 --> 01:11:07,698
Hold up.
You got a place to go?
701
01:11:09,526 --> 01:11:10,788
Yeah, sure.
702
01:11:11,441 --> 01:11:13,573
There's other spots you can try.
703
01:11:13,660 --> 01:11:16,100
Yeah, everyone's really rolling
out the red carpet these days.
704
01:11:23,496 --> 01:11:25,455
Francis, don't.
705
01:11:25,803 --> 01:11:27,587
Come on, Francis.
706
01:11:27,718 --> 01:11:29,807
'Cause I ain't got nothing left!
707
01:11:29,894 --> 01:11:31,809
Please, will you just go inside?
708
01:11:31,896 --> 01:11:33,114
Francis.
709
01:11:38,511 --> 01:11:39,817
People come and go.
710
01:11:39,947 --> 01:11:41,688
If you want it, you want it.
711
01:11:41,819 --> 01:11:44,735
If you don't,
don't take someone else's bed.
712
01:11:45,649 --> 01:11:47,489
There's a box of donated
clothes in the corner.
713
01:11:53,396 --> 01:11:54,440
Looks like you made it.
714
01:12:21,946 --> 01:12:23,121
Look...
715
01:12:25,558 --> 01:12:26,678
I don't know what I'm doing.
716
01:12:28,648 --> 01:12:29,648
Are you on anything?
717
01:12:31,434 --> 01:12:32,522
No, I'm clean.
718
01:12:35,829 --> 01:12:37,396
Plus, I don't even
got any money.
719
01:12:38,136 --> 01:12:39,416
Has that ever
stopped you before?
720
01:12:43,446 --> 01:12:44,446
Whatever.
721
01:12:57,590 --> 01:12:58,678
I'm not gonna fuck you.
722
01:13:03,814 --> 01:13:04,814
I'm sorry.
723
01:13:12,823 --> 01:13:13,911
Why are you here?
724
01:13:14,651 --> 01:13:17,088
Because I need
to get my daughter back.
725
01:13:25,444 --> 01:13:26,663
Because I need to be normal.
726
01:13:30,928 --> 01:13:32,088
You know what that word means?
727
01:13:33,234 --> 01:13:35,454
The usual, the average,
728
01:13:35,585 --> 01:13:37,543
the typical state or condition.
729
01:13:39,502 --> 01:13:40,503
What's normal to you?
730
01:13:43,854 --> 01:13:44,854
I don't know.
731
01:13:45,986 --> 01:13:46,986
Think about it.
732
01:13:55,953 --> 01:13:57,911
Two girls drinking at a party.
733
01:14:01,915 --> 01:14:03,439
One stops when it's empty.
734
01:14:04,788 --> 01:14:06,572
For the other, it never ends.
735
01:14:07,965 --> 01:14:09,357
So you want
to be able to drink...
736
01:14:09,488 --> 01:14:10,488
No!
737
01:14:12,099 --> 01:14:13,449
I don't fucking need this shit.
738
01:14:20,804 --> 01:14:22,849
Look, it don't have to be easy,
739
01:14:22,980 --> 01:14:25,678
but just, like, fair, you know?
740
01:14:25,809 --> 01:14:27,680
Nothing in life is fair.
741
01:14:27,767 --> 01:14:28,767
We'll see.
742
01:14:29,987 --> 01:14:31,292
What do you know about it?
743
01:14:34,295 --> 01:14:36,646
I was diagnosed
with cancer when I was 30.
744
01:14:36,776 --> 01:14:38,082
My parents won't talk to me.
745
01:14:38,212 --> 01:14:40,606
My first boyfriend
ended in assault
746
01:14:40,693 --> 01:14:42,521
and my last one cheated on me.
747
01:14:42,956 --> 01:14:44,610
I would love a drink,
748
01:14:44,697 --> 01:14:46,177
but I haven't had one
in 12 years.
749
01:14:47,221 --> 01:14:49,746
Nothing in life is fair,
nothing is normal.
750
01:14:50,747 --> 01:14:52,387
But there's beauty
if you fight to see it.
751
01:14:57,841 --> 01:15:00,452
You're gay?
752
01:15:00,583 --> 01:15:01,983
That's what
you took away from that?
753
01:15:07,067 --> 01:15:08,747
You know what I did
when I first got sober?
754
01:15:10,375 --> 01:15:11,535
I'm sure you're gonna tell me.
755
01:15:15,685 --> 01:15:17,005
I wrote
a moment on each of those.
756
01:15:18,905 --> 01:15:20,883
The moments that got me down,
the ones that kept me going.
757
01:15:20,907 --> 01:15:22,300
Everything, leading up 'til now.
758
01:15:25,651 --> 01:15:26,811
Sounds like a lot of triggers.
759
01:15:28,132 --> 01:15:29,916
When you're done,
760
01:15:30,047 --> 01:15:31,047
stick 'em on that wall.
761
01:15:47,064 --> 01:15:48,344
What happened
when you were born?
762
01:15:50,241 --> 01:15:51,503
I tried to kill myself.
763
01:15:52,809 --> 01:15:54,201
There you go.
764
01:15:54,288 --> 01:15:55,376
Start from the beginning.
765
01:16:06,213 --> 01:16:08,825
Cord wrapped around my neck.
766
01:16:08,912 --> 01:16:10,522
It was my first struggle.
767
01:16:17,747 --> 01:16:18,747
This world.
768
01:16:20,488 --> 01:16:21,577
School.
769
01:16:21,707 --> 01:16:23,753
I failed.
770
01:16:23,883 --> 01:16:26,582
If I can fix cars
I can fix anything.
771
01:16:30,673 --> 01:16:33,676
My mother's new boyfriend.
772
01:16:33,763 --> 01:16:35,721
My new boyfriend.
773
01:16:35,808 --> 01:16:38,768
He called me beautiful, ugly.
774
01:16:38,898 --> 01:16:40,160
Look at this place, mija.
775
01:16:42,032 --> 01:16:43,381
This is what you dreamed of.
776
01:16:43,511 --> 01:16:44,687
You gave me no fucking choice
777
01:16:44,774 --> 01:16:45,794
and you have to live with it!
778
01:16:45,818 --> 01:16:46,993
You did this, Elena.
779
01:16:47,124 --> 01:16:48,865
Transforming.
780
01:16:49,387 --> 01:16:50,475
Shut your fucking mouth.
781
01:16:51,737 --> 01:16:53,870
Santi. A dealer.
782
01:16:54,958 --> 01:16:56,829
My first kiss.
783
01:16:56,960 --> 01:16:59,049
Curious.
784
01:17:07,013 --> 01:17:09,712
Play the same
song over and over.
785
01:17:09,842 --> 01:17:11,583
I stuck a needle in my veins.
786
01:17:11,714 --> 01:17:13,629
My sister listened to me.
787
01:17:13,759 --> 01:17:15,587
My sister
wouldn't ask if I came home.
788
01:17:15,718 --> 01:17:17,676
Abuelo used to say
789
01:17:17,763 --> 01:17:19,123
that if you find
a black feather...
790
01:17:20,157 --> 01:17:21,419
it's a warning.
791
01:17:24,901 --> 01:17:26,541
Come on, come on,
we don't have much time.
792
01:17:32,865 --> 01:17:34,171
I love you.
793
01:17:34,301 --> 01:17:36,695
I love you, I love you.
794
01:17:50,927 --> 01:17:52,537
Where are you going, Chama?
795
01:17:53,190 --> 01:17:54,495
You broke it!
796
01:17:57,455 --> 01:17:59,979
I am my mother's lost sisters.
797
01:18:06,856 --> 01:18:08,466
The dealer.
798
01:18:13,601 --> 01:18:14,601
Scared.
799
01:18:26,397 --> 01:18:27,572
Always felt like home here.
800
01:18:28,747 --> 01:18:31,010
- The river.
- It's dirty.
801
01:18:31,141 --> 01:18:32,741
Half the time
it doesn't even have water.
802
01:18:36,581 --> 01:18:38,322
You find what it is
you were looking for?
803
01:18:38,452 --> 01:18:40,411
- Don't be like that.
- Like what, Chama?
804
01:18:41,325 --> 01:18:42,325
Like your mother?
805
01:18:43,196 --> 01:18:44,196
What else have you got?
806
01:18:53,293 --> 01:18:55,339
Your Abuelo used to say,
"I don't need a watch...
807
01:18:55,469 --> 01:18:56,557
I got the river."
808
01:19:06,089 --> 01:19:07,089
If you leave...
809
01:19:08,569 --> 01:19:10,049
I don't ever
want to see you again.
810
01:19:13,618 --> 01:19:15,228
I wish I would've put
my arms around you.
811
01:19:16,447 --> 01:19:17,448
One last time.
812
01:19:19,406 --> 01:19:22,279
I wish I would have held you,
felt you,
813
01:19:22,409 --> 01:19:24,455
smelled that lipstick.
814
01:19:24,585 --> 01:19:27,066
I wish I would have been home
when they found you.
815
01:19:27,197 --> 01:19:28,894
I hated you.
816
01:19:29,025 --> 01:19:30,940
I blamed you.
817
01:19:31,070 --> 01:19:32,670
I skipped your funeral
and Mari hated me.
818
01:19:35,683 --> 01:19:37,903
But I pretend
in that last moment...
819
01:19:39,426 --> 01:19:41,602
you saw something beautiful.
820
01:20:08,368 --> 01:20:09,368
I used to be married.
821
01:20:11,371 --> 01:20:12,971
He's famous,
I can't tell you who it was.
822
01:20:14,461 --> 01:20:15,811
Okay.
823
01:20:17,421 --> 01:20:18,857
I was independent though.
824
01:20:19,510 --> 01:20:21,381
Yeah, I loved to work.
825
01:20:21,512 --> 01:20:24,297
I ran five restaurants.
826
01:20:24,384 --> 01:20:27,344
I mean, most people only,
like, oversee one.
827
01:20:27,474 --> 01:20:28,824
Wanna know how many I ran?
828
01:20:30,564 --> 01:20:32,001
- Five?
- Five!
829
01:20:33,176 --> 01:20:35,700
Yeah, they respected me.
830
01:20:35,831 --> 01:20:37,136
You know, like...
831
01:20:38,050 --> 01:20:39,450
I wasn't a bitch
to them or anything
832
01:20:39,573 --> 01:20:41,749
if that's what you're thinking,
833
01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:42,880
but I was the boss.
834
01:20:44,404 --> 01:20:45,947
You should see
the way they looked at me
835
01:20:45,971 --> 01:20:47,131
when I walked into a Chili's.
836
01:20:48,582 --> 01:20:50,367
Nell likes to talk.
837
01:20:50,497 --> 01:20:52,586
A lot.
838
01:20:52,717 --> 01:20:55,111
She says she first
tried heroin at age ten.
839
01:20:55,241 --> 01:20:57,330
Given to her by a neighbor.
840
01:20:57,417 --> 01:21:00,725
She told her father,
who went to her and beat her.
841
01:21:00,856 --> 01:21:02,703
She started cutting
her knuckles in high school,
842
01:21:02,727 --> 01:21:04,816
but her sister found out
and threw away the razors.
843
01:21:07,036 --> 01:21:09,342
All her friends
worked at a local Chili's.
844
01:21:09,473 --> 01:21:11,562
Nell claims she did, too.
845
01:21:11,692 --> 01:21:15,087
She goes on
and on and on about it.
846
01:21:15,218 --> 01:21:17,176
I just want
to scrub a toilet in peace.
847
01:21:17,307 --> 01:21:18,961
Yeah, I don't really
like Chili's.
848
01:21:21,006 --> 01:21:22,312
Oh, you're one of those...
849
01:21:23,487 --> 01:21:24,880
Applebee's motherfuckers?
850
01:21:31,451 --> 01:21:34,280
Anyways I was doing
really well, you know?
851
01:21:34,411 --> 01:21:35,542
My husband was like...
852
01:22:35,428 --> 01:22:37,300
Okay, let's check in.
853
01:22:39,476 --> 01:22:40,796
It's a cloudy day
out there today.
854
01:22:42,392 --> 01:22:43,752
What's that make
everyone think of?
855
01:22:58,451 --> 01:22:59,451
Rain.
856
01:23:01,585 --> 01:23:03,465
Makes me think of my son
playing in the puddles.
857
01:23:05,023 --> 01:23:06,023
Sweaters.
858
01:23:08,070 --> 01:23:09,985
I hate t-shirts and short pants.
859
01:23:15,599 --> 01:23:16,774
How about you, Gata?
860
01:23:18,428 --> 01:23:19,428
Go fuck yourself.
861
01:23:22,345 --> 01:23:23,785
That's what my ma
used to always say.
862
01:23:26,001 --> 01:23:27,002
Clouds remind me of her.
863
01:23:29,439 --> 01:23:30,439
Every time I'd mess up...
864
01:23:31,615 --> 01:23:33,704
like, when she'd
catch me slipping.
865
01:23:35,140 --> 01:23:36,140
"Great...
866
01:23:37,099 --> 01:23:38,274
go fuck yourself, Gata."
867
01:23:39,666 --> 01:23:41,538
First time I came here,
868
01:23:41,668 --> 01:23:44,367
- Nick suggested that I say...
- Go love yourself.
869
01:23:45,194 --> 01:23:46,847
Yeah, so now...
870
01:23:48,719 --> 01:23:50,025
when I think about my ma...
871
01:23:51,722 --> 01:23:52,853
it's like...
872
01:23:55,334 --> 01:23:56,379
Go love yourself, Gata.
873
01:24:00,296 --> 01:24:01,819
Go love yourself back.
874
01:24:23,449 --> 01:24:24,449
Ow!
875
01:24:34,808 --> 01:24:36,767
Well, I did it,
because I wanted to.
876
01:24:38,029 --> 01:24:39,029
Um...
877
01:24:40,684 --> 01:24:44,079
I climbed out
of the second story window
878
01:24:44,209 --> 01:24:47,386
at my parents' house
and, um, I jumped.
879
01:24:47,517 --> 01:24:50,172
Probably broke, like, two bones.
880
01:24:51,042 --> 01:24:53,392
But, you know, he was...
881
01:24:54,741 --> 01:24:56,526
He was older, uh...
882
01:24:58,310 --> 01:25:01,096
he liked me, uh,
everyone liked me.
883
01:25:04,925 --> 01:25:07,667
And, um, I wanted to see him.
884
01:25:08,538 --> 01:25:12,281
So, yeah, we got
a little strung out...
885
01:25:15,501 --> 01:25:16,501
and, uh...
886
01:25:18,983 --> 01:25:20,115
well, I woke up in a trailer
887
01:25:20,245 --> 01:25:21,986
with four men...
888
01:25:23,727 --> 01:25:24,727
that I didn't know.
889
01:25:26,860 --> 01:25:28,645
I don't even think
they knew my name.
890
01:25:31,648 --> 01:25:34,694
I had to take Clonazepam,
so I wouldn't get seizures.
891
01:25:35,608 --> 01:25:37,288
But one night
after my husband got rough...
892
01:25:38,568 --> 01:25:39,960
I took too many and OD'd.
893
01:25:41,223 --> 01:25:43,225
This spark plug is fried.
894
01:25:44,139 --> 01:25:45,401
I got arrested in middle school.
895
01:25:47,272 --> 01:25:48,621
Sent to Las Nunes.
896
01:25:49,144 --> 01:25:50,449
He ordered a youth diagnostic.
897
01:25:51,537 --> 01:25:53,235
I spent Christmas in jail.
898
01:25:53,365 --> 01:25:54,645
When I got
out of the hospital...
899
01:25:55,672 --> 01:25:56,672
the doctor...
900
01:25:57,717 --> 01:25:59,458
prescribed me Clonazepam.
901
01:25:59,806 --> 01:26:01,243
But I liked jail.
902
01:26:02,069 --> 01:26:03,349
No one was gonna
molest me there.
903
01:26:05,334 --> 01:26:07,336
People always ask
what's your favorite number.
904
01:26:08,250 --> 01:26:10,034
I always thought
that was a dumbass question.
905
01:26:10,730 --> 01:26:11,992
Favorite color I get...
906
01:26:13,037 --> 01:26:14,580
but it's not like you're gonna
decorate your house
907
01:26:14,604 --> 01:26:15,604
in multiples of seven.
908
01:26:17,302 --> 01:26:18,999
But I'm a survivor of suicide.
909
01:26:20,740 --> 01:26:22,351
I tried to kill myself
eight times.
910
01:26:24,440 --> 01:26:25,680
I know I won't live to see nine.
911
01:26:26,746 --> 01:26:28,008
So eight.
912
01:26:28,966 --> 01:26:30,402
That's my favorite.
913
01:26:30,533 --> 01:26:32,491
Okay. Should be good.
914
01:26:36,582 --> 01:26:38,497
Wow, nice.
915
01:26:39,672 --> 01:26:40,672
Thanks.
916
01:27:07,700 --> 01:27:10,355
I've already been
transferred six times.
917
01:27:10,442 --> 01:27:11,704
Does anyone actually work there?
918
01:27:14,490 --> 01:27:15,490
Hello?
919
01:27:24,282 --> 01:27:25,282
Coke?
920
01:27:27,938 --> 01:27:29,331
Mostly opiates.
921
01:27:31,420 --> 01:27:34,553
Mm, no, do you want a Coke?
922
01:27:37,643 --> 01:27:39,384
- Yeah, Sprite.
- Okay.
923
01:28:00,318 --> 01:28:01,450
I never worked at Chili's.
924
01:28:06,542 --> 01:28:07,542
They wouldn't hire me.
925
01:28:13,940 --> 01:28:15,464
Maybe you should have
tried Applebee's.
926
01:29:06,123 --> 01:29:07,883
He was a penguin,
but he was cold all the time,
927
01:29:07,907 --> 01:29:09,431
so he wore a hat
928
01:29:09,561 --> 01:29:11,346
and a little muffler
around his neck.
929
01:29:11,868 --> 01:29:13,348
Nobody?
930
01:29:15,654 --> 01:29:16,892
I don't really know what's
going on with my head.
931
01:29:16,916 --> 01:29:18,962
- I don't know.
- Okay.
932
01:29:19,092 --> 01:29:20,180
All right, we're starting.
933
01:29:22,531 --> 01:29:23,836
Where's Nell at?
934
01:29:24,750 --> 01:29:25,838
She left.
935
01:29:26,796 --> 01:29:27,797
And if she left...
936
01:29:40,200 --> 01:29:42,551
Please hang up
and try your call again.
937
01:29:46,119 --> 01:29:47,556
I've called CPS a million times,
938
01:29:47,686 --> 01:29:49,384
and all I get is the run around.
939
01:29:49,514 --> 01:29:51,211
- They're busy.
- Whose side you on?
940
01:29:54,171 --> 01:29:55,825
They won't even
let me see her, Nick.
941
01:29:55,955 --> 01:29:57,087
I gotta see her.
942
01:29:57,957 --> 01:29:58,957
You will.
943
01:30:15,932 --> 01:30:18,500
Hey, it's me.
Don't hang up.
944
01:30:19,588 --> 01:30:22,155
If you check out,
you come back by 8:00 PM.
945
01:30:22,242 --> 01:30:25,028
If you come back by 8:00 PM,
you take a test.
946
01:30:25,158 --> 01:30:27,465
Anything you bring back
will be searched.
947
01:30:27,596 --> 01:30:29,293
Anything on the list
will be confiscated.
948
01:30:30,163 --> 01:30:31,643
That includes mouthwash.
949
01:30:32,252 --> 01:30:34,385
Don't think
we're not wise on mouthwash.
950
01:31:23,913 --> 01:31:24,913
We're closed.
951
01:31:25,697 --> 01:31:26,697
That's okay.
952
01:31:28,700 --> 01:31:29,832
I don't got any money.
953
01:31:30,963 --> 01:31:32,095
I have somewhere to be.
954
01:31:32,791 --> 01:31:33,942
Can't get
caught up in you right now.
955
01:31:33,966 --> 01:31:35,359
I'm not in any trouble.
956
01:31:36,708 --> 01:31:38,797
Well, you know what I mean.
957
01:31:42,714 --> 01:31:44,354
I heard you've been
checking up on Nevaeh.
958
01:31:46,152 --> 01:31:48,720
Yeah. I understand.
959
01:31:49,765 --> 01:31:51,593
You're incognizant,
you don't give a shit.
960
01:31:52,768 --> 01:31:54,648
I have enough of my own
problems to worry about.
961
01:31:57,990 --> 01:31:59,209
I can't be your broken record.
962
01:32:16,095 --> 01:32:17,532
Mari.
963
01:32:26,236 --> 01:32:27,411
I got shoes on.
964
01:32:50,956 --> 01:32:52,436
I keep thinking about Toaster.
965
01:32:53,698 --> 01:32:54,698
What she told me.
966
01:32:56,353 --> 01:32:58,398
We gotta fight
until we fucking win.
967
01:33:26,165 --> 01:33:27,906
Don't look at me like that.
968
01:33:28,037 --> 01:33:29,386
She's taking a shit.
She'll be...
969
01:33:29,516 --> 01:33:31,344
Where are you taking us Nick?
Disneyland?
970
01:33:31,475 --> 01:33:33,651
Yeah, right, I bet he's gonna
take us to an NA meeting.
971
01:33:33,782 --> 01:33:34,822
Yeah, I'd be down for that.
972
01:33:34,913 --> 01:33:36,219
Come on.
973
01:33:37,002 --> 01:33:38,284
- Let's go to Splash Mountain.
- Yep, yep!
974
01:33:38,308 --> 01:33:40,005
Come on, Gata.
Smile for me.
975
01:33:40,571 --> 01:33:42,878
Here's your smile, Shorty.
976
01:33:43,008 --> 01:33:44,769
Don't be like that.
Just one. Don't be like that!
977
01:33:44,793 --> 01:33:46,577
All right. Everybody in.
978
01:33:46,708 --> 01:33:47,883
Hey, what about Chama?
979
01:33:48,013 --> 01:33:49,013
Yeah, where's Chama at?
980
01:33:56,152 --> 01:33:57,152
It's fucking hot in here.
981
01:33:59,808 --> 01:34:00,808
Come on, girl.
982
01:34:04,769 --> 01:34:06,118
I like the sun on my face.
983
01:34:09,948 --> 01:34:12,516
It calms
the pounding in my chest.
984
01:34:13,952 --> 01:34:15,127
I wonder where we're going.
985
01:34:18,217 --> 01:34:21,003
If Nick really gets it.
986
01:34:21,133 --> 01:34:23,135
I told him the truth.
987
01:34:23,266 --> 01:34:25,660
About the doctor.
That I'm scared.
988
01:34:37,236 --> 01:34:39,021
The sun feels bright on my face.
989
01:35:00,738 --> 01:35:02,609
Take this over Magic Kingdom.
990
01:35:02,740 --> 01:35:04,524
Damn, this shit's no joke.
991
01:35:08,311 --> 01:35:09,311
Come on, Lucy.
992
01:35:48,612 --> 01:35:50,745
There are thousands
of women that can't have kids.
993
01:35:54,444 --> 01:35:55,750
And God's got jokes.
994
01:36:00,885 --> 01:36:01,885
You want this baby?
995
01:36:09,154 --> 01:36:10,765
But I don't deserve
either of them.
996
01:36:18,337 --> 01:36:20,209
My first boyfriend
ended in assault.
997
01:36:23,386 --> 01:36:24,474
Yeah, uh...
998
01:36:27,042 --> 01:36:28,130
I wasn't the victim.
999
01:36:35,702 --> 01:36:36,702
I was 18.
1000
01:36:37,748 --> 01:36:38,748
High.
1001
01:36:40,882 --> 01:36:42,927
Made a terrible decision,
1002
01:36:43,058 --> 01:36:45,930
ended up hurting the one person
that I truly loved.
1003
01:36:52,371 --> 01:36:54,678
Spent some time locked up,
hating myself.
1004
01:36:56,332 --> 01:36:57,812
Yeah, that never
really goes away.
1005
01:37:01,990 --> 01:37:05,428
But if you can turn guilt,
1006
01:37:05,558 --> 01:37:07,082
hate into something else...
1007
01:37:12,478 --> 01:37:14,524
you can do
something for the world
1008
01:37:14,654 --> 01:37:16,918
that's beyond yourself.
1009
01:37:27,363 --> 01:37:28,668
We're at the bottom of a hill.
1010
01:37:30,496 --> 01:37:31,671
Can you climb?
1011
01:39:44,282 --> 01:39:45,282
The 15th.
1012
01:39:47,416 --> 01:39:48,416
Next Friday.
1013
01:39:51,246 --> 01:39:52,486
You'll get to see your daughter.
1014
01:40:29,588 --> 01:40:31,199
My name isn't really Chama.
1015
01:40:34,506 --> 01:40:37,335
I saw this postcard
once of a mother and daughter
1016
01:40:37,466 --> 01:40:39,468
standing outside
Chama, New Mexico.
1017
01:40:41,383 --> 01:40:43,037
I wanted to live
in that postcard.
1018
01:40:48,172 --> 01:40:49,172
I talk to my mom.
1019
01:40:51,784 --> 01:40:52,872
And tell her things...
1020
01:40:54,265 --> 01:40:55,440
but not in real life...
1021
01:40:56,311 --> 01:40:58,052
because this reality
took her away.
1022
01:41:02,360 --> 01:41:04,580
I talk to her,
because I got to try
1023
01:41:04,710 --> 01:41:06,190
to understand my scars...
1024
01:41:08,279 --> 01:41:09,933
and not just pick at my scabs.
1025
01:41:18,637 --> 01:41:19,899
I've been through a lot of shit.
1026
01:41:22,641 --> 01:41:24,252
I've put people through...
1027
01:41:25,688 --> 01:41:26,863
a lot more.
1028
01:41:29,735 --> 01:41:30,867
It's not fair.
1029
01:41:33,870 --> 01:41:35,089
But like Nick says...
1030
01:41:37,178 --> 01:41:38,178
"Nothing is fair...
1031
01:41:39,484 --> 01:41:40,484
nothing is normal."
1032
01:41:45,838 --> 01:41:46,926
What have I done?
1033
01:41:50,626 --> 01:41:51,626
What am I doing?
1034
01:41:55,152 --> 01:41:56,240
If I'm not Chama, then...
1035
01:41:59,374 --> 01:42:00,462
who am I?
1036
01:42:15,564 --> 01:42:16,564
I'm an addict.
1037
01:42:21,309 --> 01:42:22,589
I've slept
on the streets, but...
1038
01:42:24,399 --> 01:42:25,487
I'm not homeless.
1039
01:42:29,578 --> 01:42:31,232
I'm terrified.
1040
01:42:37,760 --> 01:42:38,848
We need help.
1041
01:42:41,111 --> 01:42:42,111
I will help.
1042
01:42:53,732 --> 01:42:54,732
I'm here...
1043
01:42:55,821 --> 01:42:56,996
and I will be a mother.
1044
01:42:59,608 --> 01:43:00,608
I am a mother.
1045
01:47:33,403 --> 01:47:34,926
- Love you, Peggy.
- Love you, Mama.
70114
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