Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:03,570 --> 00:00:05,872
Girl: [ Crying and gasping ]
2
00:00:05,872 --> 00:00:08,575
♪ Joy to the world ♪
3
00:00:08,575 --> 00:00:11,978
♪ The Lord is come ♪
4
00:00:11,978 --> 00:00:15,015
♪ Let Earth receive her king ♪ Are you okay?
5
00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:18,451
Oh, I'm in so much fucking pain!
6
00:00:18,451 --> 00:00:21,054
Sephora's closing.
7
00:00:21,054 --> 00:00:23,923
I'm not gonna let you buy that lip kit full price, by the way.
8
00:00:23,923 --> 00:00:25,825
That'd be, like... [ Moans ]
9
00:00:25,825 --> 00:00:27,360
...against civil rights.
10
00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:29,262
Aaaaah! Are you sure it's just cramps?
11
00:00:29,262 --> 00:00:30,964
'Cause my mom knows someone who got an amoeba
12
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:32,499
from Panda Express.
13
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,134
It's like someone is sticking one of those
14
00:00:34,134 --> 00:00:36,836
curved Japanese swords up my vagina.
15
00:00:36,836 --> 00:00:38,204
Fuck!
16
00:00:38,204 --> 00:00:39,639
Do you want the rest of the Oxy?
17
00:00:39,639 --> 00:00:41,174
[ Whimpers ]
18
00:00:41,174 --> 00:00:43,476
Here, open the door.
19
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:45,211
I-I-I can't. I can't move.
20
00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:46,646
I can't -- I can't unlock the door.
21
00:00:46,646 --> 00:00:48,448
Okay, I'll just slide it under.
22
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:51,051
Think if you snort it it works super fast.
23
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,820
Oh. Ugh. Fuck!
24
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:57,390
This is fucking true love 'cause this floor's nasty.
25
00:00:57,390 --> 00:00:59,692
Got it? [ Whimpers ]
26
00:00:59,692 --> 00:01:01,294
Oh, God, gross!
27
00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,563
Oh, I think I'm gonna throw up.
28
00:01:03,563 --> 00:01:06,466
Are you okay? Aaaah!
29
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:08,668
Seriously, what is happening?
30
00:01:08,668 --> 00:01:10,136
Aaaaah!
31
00:01:10,136 --> 00:01:11,538
Shut up! The Chipotle woman is looking!
32
00:01:11,538 --> 00:01:14,808
Can you Google "how to give birth"?
33
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:15,842
What?!
34
00:01:15,842 --> 00:01:17,177
Just do it.
35
00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:18,511
You're having a fucking baby?!
36
00:01:18,511 --> 00:01:20,080
Shut up! You're not pregnant!
37
00:01:20,080 --> 00:01:21,614
You don't even look that fat.
38
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:22,715
[ Wails ]
39
00:01:22,715 --> 00:01:25,085
Oh, God, no! We have to call 911.
40
00:01:25,085 --> 00:01:26,853
No! We have to call 911.
41
00:01:26,853 --> 00:01:28,788
My parents will fucking kill me!
42
00:01:28,788 --> 00:01:31,724
Fuck. People give birth in cars.
43
00:01:31,724 --> 00:01:33,560
No, you can't give birth in a bathroom.
44
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,328
It fucking happens. It's not a big fucking deal.
45
00:01:35,328 --> 00:01:37,363
How could you not know? What about your period?
46
00:01:37,363 --> 00:01:40,567
I thought I was bleeding. Oh, God, Naomi!
47
00:01:40,567 --> 00:01:42,469
Shut up! Someone is coming.
48
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:45,538
Uh, no, someone threw up all over the floor in there.
49
00:01:45,538 --> 00:01:47,340
And diarrhea, too.
50
00:01:47,340 --> 00:01:48,842
Oh. [ Moans ]
51
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,677
Tittyfuck cunt nugget. It's not loading.
52
00:01:50,677 --> 00:01:52,378
It's not loading! Welcome to wellness 5G...
53
00:01:52,378 --> 00:01:54,013
Oh, God, it's one of those YouTube videos
54
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:55,415
where you have to watch the whole fucking ad first.
55
00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:56,883
You can't just skip. Aaah!
56
00:01:56,883 --> 00:01:59,052
Why can you skip some and not others?!
57
00:01:59,052 --> 00:02:01,054
What the fucking fuck!
58
00:02:01,054 --> 00:02:04,090
Fuck! Try WikiHow!
59
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:09,295
♪♪
60
00:02:09,295 --> 00:02:11,731
♪ I like boys I like pecs ♪
61
00:02:11,731 --> 00:02:13,533
♪ Like them arms when they flex ♪
62
00:02:13,533 --> 00:02:15,568
♪ Like that print in them sweats ♪
63
00:02:15,568 --> 00:02:17,537
♪ Tell them girls, "Thank you, next" ♪
64
00:02:17,537 --> 00:02:19,472
♪ I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em ♪
65
00:02:19,472 --> 00:02:21,374
♪ Like them abs when there's six of 'em ♪
66
00:02:21,374 --> 00:02:23,376
♪ Tell them girls I'm sorry ♪
67
00:02:23,376 --> 00:02:25,845
♪ I like boys Mama, boys like me ♪
68
00:02:25,845 --> 00:02:27,747
♪ I like boys who like boys Mama ♪
69
00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:30,183
♪ Yeah, I like boys who like boys like me ♪
70
00:02:30,183 --> 00:02:31,784
♪ Boys like me ♪
71
00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:34,020
♪ Motherfuckin' boys like me, bitch ♪
72
00:02:34,020 --> 00:02:36,856
This being your third dress-coding offense
73
00:02:36,856 --> 00:02:38,725
in the first month of school,
74
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:40,493
you need a guidance counselor to sign off on this.
75
00:02:40,493 --> 00:02:42,061
No, please don't make me see Mr. Saltarelli.
76
00:02:42,061 --> 00:02:43,630
That man crushes dreams.
77
00:02:43,630 --> 00:02:46,533
He collects antique dental equipment.
78
00:02:46,533 --> 00:02:49,636
Mr. Saltarelli is dead.
79
00:02:49,636 --> 00:02:52,205
Oh, shit. I'm sorry.
80
00:02:52,205 --> 00:02:53,940
How?
81
00:02:53,940 --> 00:02:55,842
[ Faint pounding ]
82
00:02:59,846 --> 00:03:02,348
Hi.
83
00:03:02,348 --> 00:03:04,317
Hi.
84
00:03:04,317 --> 00:03:06,753
How did Mr. Saltarelli die?
85
00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,756
He lost sight of a drone he was flying
86
00:03:09,756 --> 00:03:13,459
and accidentally flew it into his head.
87
00:03:13,459 --> 00:03:15,962
He fell unconscious in his pool and drowned.
88
00:03:15,962 --> 00:03:17,830
Oh, shit.
89
00:03:17,830 --> 00:03:19,299
Yeah.
90
00:03:19,299 --> 00:03:21,234
There was a guy judging the U.S. Open
91
00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:24,404
who died when a player served the tennis ball into his groin.
92
00:03:24,404 --> 00:03:27,340
It's true. His name was Dick.
93
00:03:27,340 --> 00:03:29,075
That's also true.
94
00:03:29,075 --> 00:03:30,543
I'm sorry.
95
00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,279
You're the new guidance counselor?
96
00:03:33,279 --> 00:03:34,480
Sam.
97
00:03:34,480 --> 00:03:36,282
Chester.
98
00:03:36,282 --> 00:03:39,052
You know, we're supposed to call teachers by their last names.
99
00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:41,187
Call me Mr. Fanger if it feels more comfortable.
100
00:03:41,187 --> 00:03:43,489
I've always been a bit on the fence about it.
101
00:03:43,489 --> 00:03:45,425
What can I do for you?
102
00:03:45,425 --> 00:03:47,860
You have to sign my slip,
103
00:03:47,860 --> 00:03:50,997
after you make sure that I understand the consequences
104
00:03:50,997 --> 00:03:54,200
of having things like multiple dress-code violations
105
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,069
on my high school record.
106
00:03:56,069 --> 00:03:58,972
Okay, Chester, do you understand the consequences?
107
00:03:58,972 --> 00:04:02,208
Three more, and I am suspended
108
00:04:02,208 --> 00:04:05,912
and waterboarded and put to death or something.
109
00:04:05,912 --> 00:04:09,315
Thing is I am a star water polo player
110
00:04:09,315 --> 00:04:11,818
with a 4.1 GPA,
111
00:04:11,818 --> 00:04:14,254
and my tolerance for giving a fuck is,
112
00:04:14,254 --> 00:04:16,756
like, minimal.
113
00:04:16,756 --> 00:04:18,558
Where do you come down on cursing?
114
00:04:18,558 --> 00:04:20,493
Safe space.
115
00:04:20,493 --> 00:04:23,730
Why do you keep getting dress-coded?
116
00:04:23,730 --> 00:04:26,266
Once for wearing a skirt.
117
00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,534
Once for ripped jeans,
118
00:04:28,534 --> 00:04:31,104
which the girls never get in trouble for,
119
00:04:31,104 --> 00:04:33,506
but they said the rips were too close to my ass.
120
00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,808
I mean, they didn't use the word "ass."
121
00:04:35,808 --> 00:04:38,111
I think Mr. Saltarelli said "derriere,"
122
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,113
which I had to Google just to make sure
123
00:04:40,113 --> 00:04:42,215
it was French for "ass."
124
00:04:42,215 --> 00:04:45,084
But anyway...
125
00:04:46,452 --> 00:04:48,988
What do you think?
126
00:04:48,988 --> 00:04:52,725
Is this too close to my ass?
127
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,594
What is it about for you?
128
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:57,797
Ooh. What is it about for me?
129
00:04:57,797 --> 00:05:01,267
I like how you said that all cute and guidance counselor-y.
130
00:05:01,267 --> 00:05:02,602
Is it a drag thing?
131
00:05:02,602 --> 00:05:05,705
Are you into drag? Give to get.
132
00:05:05,705 --> 00:05:07,907
Don't they teach you that in guidance counselor school?
133
00:05:07,907 --> 00:05:10,076
More like how to deal with kids who try to find things out
134
00:05:10,076 --> 00:05:12,545
about your personal life that are none of their business.
135
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,881
Oh. Okay, okay.
136
00:05:14,881 --> 00:05:17,517
So, you know, you being a shady bitch
137
00:05:17,517 --> 00:05:19,886
is only gonna make me like you more.
138
00:05:19,886 --> 00:05:24,090
And if you want to therapize me, I am all over it.
139
00:05:24,090 --> 00:05:25,625
Like, go.
140
00:05:25,625 --> 00:05:29,495
Like, let's get all up close and personal.
141
00:05:29,495 --> 00:05:32,832
You'll need to find someone to lend you something for today.
142
00:05:32,832 --> 00:05:35,234
If I have to wear something from The Gap,
143
00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:38,404
I am blowing my brains out.
144
00:05:38,404 --> 00:05:40,773
That's not a suicidal cry for help,
145
00:05:40,773 --> 00:05:42,675
just to be clear.
146
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:45,678
But it could be if The Gap is involved.
147
00:05:45,678 --> 00:05:47,547
Where is that?
148
00:05:47,547 --> 00:05:49,282
Oh, Tokyo.
149
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:53,920
I spent the loneliest year of my life there.
150
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:59,425
I put it up to remind me that when I feel alone,
151
00:05:59,425 --> 00:06:02,662
I'm never feeling that alone.
152
00:06:04,630 --> 00:06:09,435
Is that, like, a prompt to connect to sad kids?
153
00:06:09,435 --> 00:06:13,539
Oh, boo, you was doin' so good.
154
00:06:13,539 --> 00:06:16,776
My school e-mail address.
155
00:06:16,776 --> 00:06:18,678
If you need anything.
156
00:06:20,847 --> 00:06:23,049
I need a shit-ton of things.
157
00:06:25,284 --> 00:06:26,986
I'm, like, a lot.
158
00:06:28,921 --> 00:06:31,624
[ DUCKWRTH's " Crush" plays ]
159
00:06:31,624 --> 00:06:37,296
♪♪
160
00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:40,833
♪ I can just watch you dance all night ♪
161
00:06:40,833 --> 00:06:43,436
♪ And you would never let me down ♪
162
00:06:43,436 --> 00:06:45,705
♪ You could never let me down ♪
163
00:06:45,705 --> 00:06:47,373
♪ Crush ♪
164
00:06:47,373 --> 00:06:49,909
♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪
165
00:06:49,909 --> 00:06:52,044
♪ And you would never let me down ♪
166
00:06:52,044 --> 00:06:54,714
♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪
167
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,349
♪ Crush ♪
168
00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:58,117
♪ You just running through my brain ♪
169
00:06:58,117 --> 00:06:59,852
♪ On it like dew on the window pane ♪
170
00:06:59,852 --> 00:07:01,654
♪ 7:00 am, we was up all night ♪
171
00:07:01,654 --> 00:07:03,022
♪ I was watching you dance ♪
172
00:07:03,022 --> 00:07:04,557
Hey, yo, Chester, over here, man.
173
00:07:04,557 --> 00:07:05,491
Hey, I'll see you at practice.
174
00:07:05,491 --> 00:07:07,160
Alright, bro.
175
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:09,896
♪ I can just watch you dance all night ♪
176
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:11,597
♪ And you would never let me down ♪
177
00:07:11,597 --> 00:07:13,433
Hey. Later still good?
178
00:07:13,433 --> 00:07:14,600
Yeah, I'll meet you there.
179
00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:16,269
♪ Crush ♪
180
00:07:16,269 --> 00:07:18,871
♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪
181
00:07:18,871 --> 00:07:21,007
♪ And you would never let me down ♪
182
00:07:21,007 --> 00:07:23,342
♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪
183
00:07:23,342 --> 00:07:26,012
♪ Crush ♪ I never planned to crush ♪
184
00:07:26,012 --> 00:07:27,947
♪ But I'm saying all them things to make you blush ♪
185
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:29,882
♪ This is such a rush ♪
186
00:07:29,882 --> 00:07:31,818
♪ Blood to the head, like I'm upside down ♪
187
00:07:31,818 --> 00:07:33,152
♪ Let you cool down, you ain't a tough guy ♪
188
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,821
♪ Say that ♪
189
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,622
♪ Unless you lookin' for a rough ride ♪
190
00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:38,524
♪ Poppin' wheelies in the sunshine, play that ♪
191
00:07:38,524 --> 00:07:40,426
♪ Put you on my BMX, feel like a Maybach ♪
192
00:07:40,426 --> 00:07:42,195
♪ Ooh, throw it back just like a 8-track ♪
193
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,996
♪ Marvin Gaye, we do it your way ♪
194
00:07:43,996 --> 00:07:46,199
♪ Usher Raymond, do it my way ♪
195
00:07:46,199 --> 00:07:48,201
♪ What happens when you stick that jam ♪
196
00:07:48,201 --> 00:07:50,837
♪ In the middle of the yams? ♪ ♪ Crush ♪
197
00:07:50,837 --> 00:07:53,906
♪ I can just watch you dance all night ♪
198
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:56,342
♪ And you would never let me down ♪
199
00:07:56,342 --> 00:07:59,479
Can anyone sell me a shirt? I have a dollar.
200
00:07:59,479 --> 00:08:01,481
♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪
201
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:04,016
Anyone? ♪ And you would never let me down ♪
202
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:05,685
-Shirt for a dollar? -Sorry, man.
203
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:08,120
♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪
204
00:08:08,120 --> 00:08:09,589
♪ Crush ♪
205
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:10,923
"Magic Mike" stage show over here.
206
00:08:10,923 --> 00:08:12,692
-Ow! -Just kidding.
207
00:08:12,692 --> 00:08:14,327
I got dress-coded. -Ow!
208
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:16,863
♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪
209
00:08:16,863 --> 00:08:18,764
♪ Crush ♪ [ Whistle blows ]
210
00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:20,900
-Alright, let's see it! -Hey!
211
00:08:20,900 --> 00:08:25,371
[ Indistinct shouting ]
212
00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:26,973
You got it, you got it, you got it!
213
00:08:26,973 --> 00:08:31,644
-Nice! -Chester, take the shot!
214
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:33,379
[ Cheering ]
215
00:08:33,379 --> 00:08:35,248
[ Whistle blows ]
216
00:08:35,248 --> 00:08:37,283
[ Playing in headphones] ♪ Could never let me down ♪
217
00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:40,319
♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪
218
00:08:40,319 --> 00:08:42,555
♪ And you would never let me down ♪
219
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:45,291
♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪
220
00:08:45,291 --> 00:08:47,093
♪ Crush ♪
221
00:08:47,093 --> 00:08:49,328
♪ I can just watch you dance all night ♪
222
00:08:49,328 --> 00:08:51,731
♪ And you would never let me down ♪
223
00:08:51,731 --> 00:08:54,000
♪ You could never let me down ♪
224
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:56,002
♪ Crush ♪
225
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:58,170
♪ I can fall in love with you all night ♪
226
00:08:58,170 --> 00:09:00,373
♪ And you would never let me down ♪
227
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,708
♪ A crush is my favorite sound ♪
228
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:04,977
[ Laughs ] I can't believe we got past!
229
00:09:04,977 --> 00:09:07,580
I've been wanting to see this one so bad!
230
00:09:12,118 --> 00:09:14,620
[ Laughing ]
231
00:09:19,425 --> 00:09:21,961
[ Siren wails in distance ]
232
00:09:27,066 --> 00:09:29,936
[ Jackhammering and horns honking in distance ]
233
00:09:56,796 --> 00:09:58,998
Yo.
234
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:05,404
Yes! [ Laughs ]
235
00:10:26,392 --> 00:10:32,331
♪♪
236
00:10:32,331 --> 00:10:38,070
♪♪
237
00:10:38,070 --> 00:10:40,806
[ Electricity buzzing ]
238
00:10:42,575 --> 00:10:45,511
Ah-ooooo-oooooooo!
239
00:10:45,511 --> 00:10:54,820
♪♪
240
00:10:54,820 --> 00:10:56,956
♪ Push, press ♪
241
00:10:56,956 --> 00:10:58,924
♪ More, less ♪
242
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:00,226
[ Tires screech, horn honks ]
243
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,260
Fuck! Sorry.
244
00:11:01,260 --> 00:11:03,029
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
245
00:11:03,029 --> 00:11:07,466
♪ Stop, go, fast, slow ♪
246
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:09,735
♪ Here together ♪
247
00:11:09,735 --> 00:11:12,738
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
248
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:14,874
[ Indistinct talking ]
249
00:11:14,874 --> 00:11:16,509
Hey, I'm Riley.
250
00:11:16,509 --> 00:11:18,044
Oh, nice to meet you.
251
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:20,046
Nathan's not here yet. Alright.
252
00:11:20,046 --> 00:11:23,149
Uh, there's stuff to drink inside. Cool.
253
00:11:23,149 --> 00:11:26,118
That girl, the one wearing way too much pink -- she's got weed.
254
00:11:26,118 --> 00:11:28,854
She steals it from her parents, but she'll charge you...
255
00:11:28,854 --> 00:11:30,890
while making low-key homophobic jokes.
256
00:11:30,890 --> 00:11:32,725
She thinks it's okay 'cause she has two dads.
257
00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:35,728
Uh, well, maybe they're those self-hating gays.
258
00:11:35,728 --> 00:11:36,996
It's, like, a whole thing.
259
00:11:36,996 --> 00:11:38,297
I'm really glad you came.
260
00:11:38,297 --> 00:11:39,932
Thank you.
261
00:11:39,932 --> 00:11:41,734
Don't break Nathan's heart.
262
00:11:41,734 --> 00:11:44,370
Yeah, I feel like in general I don't want to mess with you.
263
00:11:46,906 --> 00:11:49,709
[ Laughter ]
264
00:11:49,709 --> 00:11:53,846
[ Indistinct talking ]
265
00:11:53,846 --> 00:11:55,281
Let's fuck those turtles up!
266
00:11:55,281 --> 00:11:56,682
[ Cellphone buzzing ] Girl: Ah!
267
00:11:56,682 --> 00:11:58,584
Group: Ooooh!
268
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:01,721
♪♪
269
00:12:01,721 --> 00:12:03,222
Hello?
270
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,925
This is Sam, your guidance counselor.
271
00:12:05,925 --> 00:12:07,993
I got the picture you sent.
272
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:11,564
Uh, shit. And you thought...what?
273
00:12:11,564 --> 00:12:13,933
I need to know if you're okay.
274
00:12:13,933 --> 00:12:16,035
I was worried.
275
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:18,904
Um, it's -- it's -- it's called rooftopping.
276
00:12:18,904 --> 00:12:20,906
It's just a thing that people do.
277
00:12:20,906 --> 00:12:22,875
[ Chuckling ] You can Google it.
278
00:12:22,875 --> 00:12:24,643
How did you get my number?
279
00:12:24,643 --> 00:12:28,214
I called your house. Your grandma gave it to me.
280
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:33,486
Look, I need to meet with you Monday.
281
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,321
Why?
282
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:37,089
Send a picture like that, I'm doing something about it.
283
00:12:37,089 --> 00:12:38,624
I have to.
284
00:12:38,624 --> 00:12:39,892
No, you don't.
285
00:12:39,892 --> 00:12:42,161
I have to.
286
00:12:42,161 --> 00:12:44,396
Okay, I love me a good savior complex,
287
00:12:44,396 --> 00:12:47,166
but you're really pushing it.
288
00:12:47,166 --> 00:12:50,102
I know people who've tried to hurt themselves.
289
00:12:51,737 --> 00:12:55,674
I don't -- I don't mess around with stuff like this.
290
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,076
Um...
291
00:12:57,076 --> 00:13:00,980
well, that's not me.
292
00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:02,548
I'm relieved to hear it,
293
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:04,984
but I'd still like to meet with you.
294
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:12,992
You said, "This is what loneliness looks like."
295
00:13:12,992 --> 00:13:16,996
Meaning it's fucking beautiful.
296
00:13:16,996 --> 00:13:18,864
Um...
297
00:13:18,864 --> 00:13:20,599
Yeah.
298
00:13:25,271 --> 00:13:28,040
I'll meet with you Monday.
299
00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:30,810
I appreciate you being honest.
300
00:13:30,810 --> 00:13:32,244
No one ever is.
301
00:13:32,244 --> 00:13:35,114
I'll always be honest with you.
302
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:38,317
You just might not always like it.
303
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:40,753
Bye.
304
00:13:40,753 --> 00:13:42,221
[ Cellphone squawking ]
305
00:13:42,221 --> 00:13:43,923
Chingada! Sorry.
306
00:13:43,923 --> 00:13:45,491
That's okay.
307
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,726
Girl: Hey, are you even real right now?
308
00:13:47,726 --> 00:13:56,235
♪♪
309
00:13:56,235 --> 00:13:59,071
I wasn't invited.
310
00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:06,912
♪♪
311
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:08,914
♪ Everything won't go right ♪
312
00:14:08,914 --> 00:14:10,482
♪ But still I learn ♪
313
00:14:10,482 --> 00:14:12,218
♪ Even though I'm here on Earth ♪
314
00:14:12,218 --> 00:14:13,853
♪ Heaven is the place I'm worth ♪
315
00:14:13,853 --> 00:14:14,887
♪ I'll make it work ♪
316
00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:16,288
-Hi. -Nathan?
317
00:14:16,288 --> 00:14:18,023
-Sorry. -Hey, how's it going?
318
00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,925
I'm having the worst night of my life.
319
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,727
Wait, are you crying?
320
00:14:21,727 --> 00:14:24,296
No, I-I just got something in my eye.
321
00:14:24,296 --> 00:14:25,998
Fuck. It sucks.
322
00:14:25,998 --> 00:14:27,600
Wait a minute, I want to talk to you.
323
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:29,602
-Can you take a picture of us? -Seriously?
324
00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:31,704
I just said I was having the worst night of my life.
325
00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:35,808
This might be the worst night of your life.
326
00:14:35,808 --> 00:14:37,610
Actually, no, that might be
327
00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:41,847
when your old youth pastor messages you on Grindr.
328
00:14:41,847 --> 00:14:43,716
Okay, we're ready. [ Chuckles ]
329
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,784
But...my point is,
330
00:14:45,784 --> 00:14:50,589
for the most part, it only goes up, right?
331
00:14:50,589 --> 00:14:54,560
And you should get a picture to remember
332
00:14:54,560 --> 00:14:57,563
that you'll never feel that bad again.
333
00:14:57,563 --> 00:15:00,399
I'm not really following you.
334
00:15:00,399 --> 00:15:02,268
That's okay.
335
00:15:03,736 --> 00:15:05,938
[ Cellphone vibrates ]
336
00:15:05,938 --> 00:15:14,847
♪♪
337
00:15:14,847 --> 00:15:16,782
Girl: You ready?
338
00:15:16,782 --> 00:15:18,651
[ Camera shutter clicks ]
339
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:50,716
[ Laughs ]
340
00:15:50,716 --> 00:15:52,117
What does it look like?
341
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:54,286
[ Laughter ]
342
00:15:54,286 --> 00:15:55,721
[ Speaks Spanish ]
343
00:15:55,721 --> 00:15:57,556
♪ I like boys I like pecs ♪
344
00:15:57,556 --> 00:15:59,525
♪ Like them arms when they flex ♪
345
00:15:59,525 --> 00:16:01,460
♪ Like that print in them sweats ♪
346
00:16:01,460 --> 00:16:02,761
♪ Tell them girls, "Thank you, next" ♪
347
00:16:02,761 --> 00:16:04,530
See you guys later.
348
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:06,332
♪ I like when they text me sexy pics of 'em ♪
349
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:07,700
♪ Like them abs when there's six of 'em ♪
350
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,468
♪ Tell them girls I'm sorry ♪
351
00:16:09,468 --> 00:16:12,972
♪ I like boys Mama, boys like me ♪
352
00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:14,707
Um, hi.
353
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:17,810
Um, those portraits you took of Lucía are amazing.
354
00:16:17,810 --> 00:16:20,412
You're so talented. Oh, that's so sweet.
355
00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:22,948
I barely had to do anything. Her eyes are gorgeous.
356
00:16:22,948 --> 00:16:25,017
I'm obsessed with her.
357
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,752
Here, I'll show you.
358
00:16:32,224 --> 00:16:34,927
This is the most amazing picture I've ever seen.
359
00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:36,362
[ Both laugh ]
360
00:16:36,362 --> 00:16:38,030
Oh, shoot, that's out of focus.
361
00:16:38,030 --> 00:16:40,032
Oh, no, I didn't like that one. Yeah.
362
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,400
I'm sorry, I just... No. Yeah.
363
00:16:41,400 --> 00:16:43,602
It's -- the focus is weird.
364
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:45,471
Oh, yeah, you're right. This one.
365
00:16:45,471 --> 00:16:46,872
This is the amazing one.
366
00:16:46,872 --> 00:16:48,574
Yeah.
367
00:16:53,479 --> 00:16:54,913
Are you coming tonight?
368
00:16:54,913 --> 00:16:56,415
Definitely.
369
00:16:56,415 --> 00:16:58,150
Cool.
370
00:16:58,150 --> 00:17:00,819
Ana, can you help me with my makeup?
371
00:17:00,819 --> 00:17:03,122
What the fuck? Yes.
372
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:04,857
[ Laughs ]
373
00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:07,459
[ Radio playing Paulina Rubio's "Yo Yo Siga Aquí ]
374
00:17:07,459 --> 00:17:10,796
♪ Pensaré si queda alguna manera ♪
375
00:17:10,796 --> 00:17:14,533
♪ Pensaré si queda alguna manera ♪
376
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:18,737
♪ Pa' que te fijes en mí y entonces me quieras ♪
377
00:17:18,737 --> 00:17:20,039
[ Gunfire ]
378
00:17:20,039 --> 00:17:21,740
The guns.
379
00:17:21,740 --> 00:17:23,208
Tonight we're gonna have a little kiki
380
00:17:23,208 --> 00:17:24,777
about toxic masculinity.
381
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,045
[ Speaks Spanish ]
382
00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,780
[ Gunfire and screaming ]
383
00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,548
Go like this.
384
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:33,118
Now go like that.
385
00:17:33,118 --> 00:17:34,653
More.
386
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:36,388
[ Laughs ]
387
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:37,890
Not too much makeup, okay?
388
00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:39,958
Do you tell a banker how to count money?
389
00:17:39,958 --> 00:17:41,760
Shut the fuck up.
390
00:17:41,760 --> 00:17:42,961
Who is she?
391
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:44,463
Who?
392
00:17:44,463 --> 00:17:46,432
The girl I'm beating your face for.
393
00:17:46,432 --> 00:17:49,201
Oh, uh, it's not for anyone.
394
00:17:49,201 --> 00:17:51,437
It's just, you know, a party.
395
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,838
Bitch, please.
396
00:17:52,838 --> 00:17:54,673
I'm your aunt, not your mother.
397
00:17:54,673 --> 00:17:56,375
I don't care.
398
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,510
Am I supposed to tell you to be home at a certain time?
399
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:00,079
-No. -11:00!
400
00:18:00,079 --> 00:18:01,880
I'm gonna fucking kill you.
401
00:18:01,880 --> 00:18:04,283
How about 1:00?
402
00:18:04,283 --> 00:18:06,518
Thank you.
403
00:18:06,518 --> 00:18:08,487
You talk to her today?
404
00:18:08,487 --> 00:18:10,355
Who?
405
00:18:10,355 --> 00:18:13,592
Tu mamá.
406
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:15,327
Uh-huh.
407
00:18:17,529 --> 00:18:19,264
It's too stressful.
408
00:18:19,264 --> 00:18:20,365
I don't know what to say to her on the phone.
409
00:18:20,365 --> 00:18:21,967
She just starts crying.
410
00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:24,503
What the fuck, Greta? No seas egoísta.
411
00:18:24,503 --> 00:18:26,238
I am not selfish!
412
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:27,439
I don't know what to say to her on the phone.
413
00:18:27,439 --> 00:18:29,108
Why are you yelling at me?
414
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,242
Put yourself in her shoes.
415
00:18:30,242 --> 00:18:31,944
Why do you care about her?
416
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,313
-She's your mother. -She's a total bitch to you.
417
00:18:34,313 --> 00:18:37,182
You watching us while she's gone
418
00:18:37,182 --> 00:18:39,751
is, like, her nightmare.
419
00:18:39,751 --> 00:18:42,020
Yeah, mine, too.
420
00:18:42,020 --> 00:18:43,989
[ Banging ]
421
00:18:43,989 --> 00:18:46,391
[ Baby crying in distance ]
422
00:18:46,391 --> 00:18:48,927
[ Dog barking ]
423
00:18:55,434 --> 00:18:57,703
[ Cellphone squawking ]
424
00:18:57,703 --> 00:19:00,472
[ Party music playing in distance ]
425
00:19:00,472 --> 00:19:02,107
Chingada! Sorry.
426
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:03,675
That's okay.
427
00:19:03,675 --> 00:19:04,977
Girl: Wait, are you even real right now?
428
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,079
Hi! Oh, my God.
429
00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,314
Your tits look so good.
430
00:19:09,314 --> 00:19:12,451
And, um, can we talk about that crop top?
431
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:14,319
I hate it when hot guys go queeny.
432
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:16,855
Like, stay with me, baby.
433
00:19:16,855 --> 00:19:18,457
Be a man.
434
00:19:18,457 --> 00:19:19,791
Do your dads care that you say shit like that?
435
00:19:19,791 --> 00:19:22,027
Seriously, you're such a bigot.
436
00:19:22,027 --> 00:19:23,462
How can I be a bigot?
437
00:19:23,462 --> 00:19:25,364
My parents are fags.
438
00:19:25,364 --> 00:19:31,103
♪♪
439
00:19:31,103 --> 00:19:34,006
Hey, there you are.
440
00:19:34,006 --> 00:19:35,741
Wait, are you okay?
441
00:19:35,741 --> 00:19:37,309
Oh, my God. [ Laughs ]
442
00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:38,844
I'm so sorry. [ Clattering ]
443
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:40,512
Wait, one second. D-Don't move, okay?
444
00:19:40,512 --> 00:19:41,947
I'll be right back.
445
00:19:41,947 --> 00:19:43,615
Hi, hi, are you okay?
446
00:19:43,615 --> 00:19:45,717
-I'm alright. -I'm texting Chester right now.
447
00:19:45,717 --> 00:19:47,619
Don't worry about Naomi. You don't need a twin.
448
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:49,288
You have me. -I'm fine.
449
00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,089
Nathan: I just got something in my eye.
450
00:19:51,089 --> 00:19:53,759
Hi. Sorry.
451
00:19:53,759 --> 00:19:55,294
Are you okay?
452
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:56,862
Chester: Nathan?
453
00:19:56,862 --> 00:19:58,463
Family drama.
454
00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:01,934
Hey, how's it going? Oh. That sucks.
455
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:04,770
Wait, are you crying?
456
00:20:04,770 --> 00:20:09,541
-My mom recently got, um -- -Fuck.
457
00:20:09,541 --> 00:20:10,842
Wait a minute. I want to talk to you.
458
00:20:10,842 --> 00:20:12,110
Can you take a picture of us?
459
00:20:12,110 --> 00:20:13,745
Yeah, one second.
460
00:20:13,745 --> 00:20:16,181
This might be the worst night of your life.
461
00:20:16,181 --> 00:20:17,649
Are you sure you're okay?
462
00:20:17,649 --> 00:20:19,851
Actually, no, that might be
463
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:21,153
when your old youth pastor...
464
00:20:21,153 --> 00:20:23,655
Yeah.
465
00:20:23,655 --> 00:20:25,557
Okay, we're ready.
466
00:20:25,557 --> 00:20:28,460
But my point is...
467
00:20:30,429 --> 00:20:33,899
♪ It's okay, it's okay ♪
468
00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:35,567
You ready?
469
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:37,402
[ Camera shutter clicks ] [ Woman moans ]
470
00:20:37,402 --> 00:20:41,840
Man: Oh, yeah. You want pussy and dick, don't you?
471
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:44,142
Woman: You like that double Happy Meal.
472
00:20:44,142 --> 00:20:47,412
You want to order a burger, a hot dog,
473
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:49,548
and all the soda!
474
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,550
[ Shudders ] Man: Oh, fuck!
475
00:20:51,550 --> 00:20:54,086
Ah! [ Shudders ]
476
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:57,122
[ Moaning ]
477
00:20:57,122 --> 00:20:58,624
Man: Doggone it, Naomi, that credit card's
478
00:20:58,624 --> 00:20:59,992
for emergencies only.
479
00:20:59,992 --> 00:21:01,893
Naomi: It was an emergency, Dad!
480
00:21:01,893 --> 00:21:03,962
At bleepin' Nordstrom's? [ Woman screaming ]
481
00:21:03,962 --> 00:21:06,598
Yes, at bleepin' Nordstrom's, Dad!
482
00:21:06,598 --> 00:21:08,467
If you had a bleepin' monthly visitor
483
00:21:08,467 --> 00:21:09,968
and you were wearing white pants,
484
00:21:09,968 --> 00:21:12,471
you might have to go to bleepin' Nordstrom's!
485
00:21:12,471 --> 00:21:14,339
So yeah, it -- it was a bleep--
486
00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:16,441
Megan: I'm gonna be in school today for a fundraising meeting,
487
00:21:16,441 --> 00:21:18,677
so I can take you and your sister
488
00:21:18,677 --> 00:21:20,679
to church for the rehearsal.
489
00:21:20,679 --> 00:21:22,681
Please wear a collared shirt -- makes you look taller.
490
00:21:22,681 --> 00:21:25,651
We have to leave right after school, so meet me out front.
491
00:21:25,651 --> 00:21:27,219
What did I say?
492
00:21:27,219 --> 00:21:28,720
-Meet you out front. -Were you talking to me?
493
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:30,322
Right after school. No.
494
00:21:30,322 --> 00:21:31,723
Why are they having a rehearsal
495
00:21:31,723 --> 00:21:33,025
when the wedding is two weeks away?
496
00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:34,926
Because we're organized,
497
00:21:34,926 --> 00:21:36,528
and because I have the mayor's prayer breakfast to deal with,
498
00:21:36,528 --> 00:21:39,564
and there are already 1,500 RSVPs.
499
00:21:39,564 --> 00:21:41,900
Oh. [ Exhales ]
500
00:21:41,900 --> 00:21:43,402
Mm.
501
00:21:45,904 --> 00:21:48,206
Oh, no. Please, no.
502
00:21:48,206 --> 00:21:50,142
-What? -Nothing.
503
00:21:50,142 --> 00:21:52,577
Megan: I'm gonna be at school today for a fundraising meeting,
504
00:21:52,577 --> 00:21:54,780
so I can take you and your brother
505
00:21:54,780 --> 00:21:56,882
to the church for rehearsal, okay?
506
00:21:56,882 --> 00:21:58,450
And please wear the pleated skirt.
507
00:21:58,450 --> 00:22:01,119
It's so nice for your knees.
508
00:22:01,119 --> 00:22:02,654
What's the purple dot for?
509
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:05,991
-Will you taste this, honey? -Um, eggs.
510
00:22:05,991 --> 00:22:08,226
Venmo me... I can take you and your brother to the church
511
00:22:08,226 --> 00:22:09,861
for the rehearsal, okay?
512
00:22:09,861 --> 00:22:12,164
So meet me out front, okay? What did I say?
513
00:22:12,164 --> 00:22:14,800
-[ Snorts ] -Wow.
514
00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:18,670
Will you put down your phones, please, and listen to me?
515
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:22,040
It's very frustrating, you know,
516
00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:24,776
that you insist on seeing me in this way.
517
00:22:24,776 --> 00:22:26,812
I am a loose person
518
00:22:26,812 --> 00:22:29,614
with a wide range of interests.
519
00:22:29,614 --> 00:22:32,551
I'm blessed with many, many friends.
520
00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:35,454
I-I do appreciate modern art.
521
00:22:35,454 --> 00:22:37,589
I adore the Spanish language.
522
00:22:37,589 --> 00:22:40,058
You know, I'm -- I'm a fully formed person,
523
00:22:40,058 --> 00:22:42,461
and yet you two -- you insist on seeing me
524
00:22:42,461 --> 00:22:46,365
like this -- this stick figure,
525
00:22:46,365 --> 00:22:48,567
and it's very...
526
00:22:48,567 --> 00:22:51,803
it's frustrating.
527
00:22:51,803 --> 00:22:53,605
We weren't even talking about you.
528
00:22:53,605 --> 00:22:56,208
Father: Nathan.
529
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:59,077
If I ever start scheduling sex dates on a white board,
530
00:22:59,077 --> 00:23:01,079
please just, like, stab me repeatedly.
531
00:23:01,079 --> 00:23:03,582
Same. Also, why did they choose purple?
532
00:23:03,582 --> 00:23:04,950
I loved purple.
533
00:23:04,950 --> 00:23:06,485
And now every time I see purple,
534
00:23:06,485 --> 00:23:09,187
I think about Dad ramming Mom.
535
00:23:09,187 --> 00:23:11,289
Oh, look, there's Jack.
536
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:13,492
Could he be hotter?
537
00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:14,693
You can hang with us, you know.
538
00:23:14,693 --> 00:23:16,361
I don't wanna third wheel.
539
00:23:16,361 --> 00:23:19,731
Whatever. He knows we talk about everything anyway.
540
00:23:19,731 --> 00:23:21,400
I mean, I tell you more than you tell me,
541
00:23:21,400 --> 00:23:23,101
but that's just 'cause you're not getting any.
542
00:23:23,101 --> 00:23:24,803
Literally all you're getting is hickeys.
543
00:23:24,803 --> 00:23:26,972
He wants me to blow him.
544
00:23:26,972 --> 00:23:29,474
But I don't know. Dicks are not cute.
545
00:23:29,474 --> 00:23:30,709
Is he even circumcised?
546
00:23:30,709 --> 00:23:33,278
God, you're nasty.
547
00:23:33,278 --> 00:23:34,479
Hi. -Hey.
548
00:23:34,479 --> 00:23:35,714
-Hi. -What's up, baby?
549
00:23:35,714 --> 00:23:37,182
-Hi. -How you doing?
550
00:23:39,317 --> 00:23:41,787
[ School bell rings ]
551
00:23:41,787 --> 00:23:43,121
♪ I like boys ♪
552
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:44,923
Riley: Oh, shit.
553
00:23:44,923 --> 00:23:46,825
See, I don't find a crop top on a guy sexy.
554
00:23:46,825 --> 00:23:49,628
No, I agree, but the ballsiness is...
555
00:23:49,628 --> 00:23:51,363
and the zero body fat.
556
00:23:51,363 --> 00:23:54,199
Jesus, can you please invite him to your party tonight?
557
00:23:54,199 --> 00:23:55,600
No, I'm not gonna invite him.
558
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,204
I don't know him.
559
00:23:59,204 --> 00:24:00,772
Naomi hates me.
560
00:24:00,772 --> 00:24:02,874
She low-key hates everyone.
561
00:24:02,874 --> 00:24:04,709
Also, she can't start dating and then ignore me
562
00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:06,478
and all of a sudden stop watching "The Bachelor"
563
00:24:06,478 --> 00:24:08,146
with me in season 23
564
00:24:08,146 --> 00:24:10,549
and then be jealous of me having friends.
565
00:24:10,549 --> 00:24:12,083
Greta: Um, hi.
566
00:24:12,083 --> 00:24:13,385
Um, that Lucía picture you took is amazing.
567
00:24:13,385 --> 00:24:14,486
You're so talented.
568
00:24:14,486 --> 00:24:15,720
Oh, thanks.
569
00:24:15,720 --> 00:24:17,222
Are you coming tonight?
570
00:24:17,222 --> 00:24:18,256
Definitely.
571
00:24:18,256 --> 00:24:20,992
Cool.
572
00:24:20,992 --> 00:24:22,694
Nathan: What a fucking hero.
573
00:24:22,694 --> 00:24:24,463
Riley, you need to invite him.
574
00:24:24,463 --> 00:24:27,365
I'm not gonna invite him.
575
00:24:27,365 --> 00:24:29,267
What's this gonna say?
576
00:24:29,267 --> 00:24:30,735
[ School bell rings ]
577
00:24:30,735 --> 00:24:32,370
You're reviewing last night's homework,
578
00:24:32,370 --> 00:24:35,507
numbers 4, 6, 7, and 8.
579
00:24:35,507 --> 00:24:37,275
I had trouble with number 8.
580
00:24:37,275 --> 00:24:38,477
She's so annoying.
581
00:24:38,477 --> 00:24:40,312
Okay, let's talk about it.
582
00:24:40,312 --> 00:24:42,514
Okay, "The ratio of boys to girls in a physics class is 3:1.
583
00:24:42,514 --> 00:24:44,449
If six students are absent and the total class number
584
00:24:44,449 --> 00:24:47,586
is divisible by six, how many students are girls?"
585
00:24:47,586 --> 00:24:49,421
What's the problem, Delilah?
586
00:24:49,421 --> 00:24:51,056
The problem is
587
00:24:51,056 --> 00:24:53,658
we don't live in a world of just boys and girls.
588
00:24:53,658 --> 00:24:55,760
What about non-binary kids?
589
00:24:55,760 --> 00:24:57,796
Well, let's assume that all the students
590
00:24:57,796 --> 00:25:01,900
in this fictitious class are straight.
591
00:25:01,900 --> 00:25:05,437
I think the word you meant to say is cisgender,
592
00:25:05,437 --> 00:25:07,572
but anyways, solving the problem,
593
00:25:07,572 --> 00:25:09,207
there are apparently 36 boys
594
00:25:09,207 --> 00:25:11,910
and apparently 12 girls in a physics class,
595
00:25:11,910 --> 00:25:15,146
which, when you think about it, is pretty anti-feminist.
596
00:25:15,146 --> 00:25:18,149
And, like, what about the six absent kids?
597
00:25:18,149 --> 00:25:20,352
Is anyone else thinking they didn't show up
598
00:25:20,352 --> 00:25:22,787
because they are non-binary
599
00:25:22,787 --> 00:25:24,489
and felt sick of getting bullied
600
00:25:24,489 --> 00:25:27,559
by douchey cisgender kids?
601
00:25:27,559 --> 00:25:31,096
Well, um, moving on to problem 9.
602
00:25:31,096 --> 00:25:33,832
Actually, I also had trouble with number 9.
603
00:25:33,832 --> 00:25:36,234
"Magic Mike" stage show over here.
604
00:25:36,234 --> 00:25:38,637
Girl: Ow!
605
00:25:38,637 --> 00:25:40,105
Arianna: What is this?
606
00:25:40,105 --> 00:25:42,107
Naomi: Bitch, they're hickeys. Come on.
607
00:25:42,107 --> 00:25:44,376
Oh, my God, I heard if the hickeys are long and skinny
608
00:25:44,376 --> 00:25:46,244
it means he's a sociopath.
609
00:25:46,244 --> 00:25:49,581
But if they're round, he's a normal guy.
610
00:25:49,581 --> 00:25:52,050
They look kinda long and skinny.
611
00:25:52,050 --> 00:25:53,318
Really?
612
00:25:53,318 --> 00:25:55,520
Also, a New Zealand woman had a stroke
613
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:56,955
because of a hickey, okay?
614
00:25:56,955 --> 00:25:58,456
-You're joking. -So be careful.
615
00:25:58,456 --> 00:26:00,125
His mouth is lethal.
616
00:26:00,125 --> 00:26:01,893
-What are you doing? -It's funny.
617
00:26:01,893 --> 00:26:03,595
No, it's not funny! Give me your phone.
618
00:26:03,595 --> 00:26:05,230
-No. -Give me your phone!
619
00:26:05,230 --> 00:26:07,332
No! Why do you have to be such a douche?
620
00:26:07,332 --> 00:26:10,001
Fuck you!
621
00:26:10,001 --> 00:26:11,736
Fine, snitch on me to Mom again.
622
00:26:11,736 --> 00:26:13,204
I don't care!
623
00:26:13,204 --> 00:26:16,608
Priest: Okay, how's everybody feeling?
624
00:26:16,608 --> 00:26:19,144
A little nervous? It's normal.
625
00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:22,647
Okay, so I'll make a brief intro,
626
00:26:22,647 --> 00:26:24,215
then I'll say a few words about you...
627
00:26:24,215 --> 00:26:25,984
Nathan: Oh.
628
00:26:25,984 --> 00:26:27,652
...about how much your family has meant to this church.
629
00:26:27,652 --> 00:26:29,821
Megan: Oh, please, no, no, no, no.
630
00:26:29,821 --> 00:26:32,924
No, you don't have to say anything.
631
00:26:32,924 --> 00:26:34,492
I couldn't possibly dominate this.
632
00:26:34,492 --> 00:26:35,927
It's not about me.
633
00:26:35,927 --> 00:26:37,762
-You know -- -It's about Natalia.
634
00:26:37,762 --> 00:26:39,698
This is Natalia's day.
635
00:26:39,698 --> 00:26:42,033
I do need to say something, Megan and Mark. No.
636
00:26:42,033 --> 00:26:44,369
My goodness, what you have done for us --
637
00:26:44,369 --> 00:26:47,339
No, really, please, it's not -- it's -- we do what we can.
638
00:26:47,339 --> 00:26:50,909
Okay, so I'll be reading from 1 Corinthians.
639
00:26:50,909 --> 00:26:54,145
"Love is patient, love is kind.
640
00:26:54,145 --> 00:26:57,182
It does not envy, it does not boast,
641
00:26:57,182 --> 00:26:59,184
it is not proud.
642
00:26:59,184 --> 00:27:03,188
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking,
643
00:27:03,188 --> 00:27:07,592
it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
644
00:27:07,592 --> 00:27:13,465
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
645
00:27:13,465 --> 00:27:16,267
It always protects, always trusts,
646
00:27:16,267 --> 00:27:19,738
always hopes, always perseveres."
647
00:27:19,738 --> 00:27:21,072
Can you please just keep it a secret?
648
00:27:21,072 --> 00:27:22,507
You just said you're not gay.
649
00:27:22,507 --> 00:27:23,842
I'm not!
650
00:27:23,842 --> 00:27:25,443
Why would you even record that?
651
00:27:25,443 --> 00:27:27,012
For the same reason you took the picture.
652
00:27:27,012 --> 00:27:29,214
-It was a joke! -Me too!
653
00:27:29,214 --> 00:27:31,583
How was I supposed to know I was recording gay porn?
654
00:27:31,583 --> 00:27:32,984
It's not gay.
655
00:27:32,984 --> 00:27:35,086
A guy sending a guy dick pics?
656
00:27:35,086 --> 00:27:37,822
What could be gayer than that?
657
00:27:37,822 --> 00:27:39,424
Why wouldn't you tell me?
658
00:27:39,424 --> 00:27:41,493
There's nothing to tell. I tell you everything.
659
00:27:41,493 --> 00:27:43,328
I told you I might even touch a dick.
660
00:27:43,328 --> 00:27:47,866
Okay, well, maybe touching a dick is very different.
661
00:27:47,866 --> 00:27:49,534
Oh, my God.
662
00:27:49,534 --> 00:27:52,003
If you want to do secrets and shit, fine, we'll do it.
663
00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:53,705
I just -- I thought we were --
664
00:27:53,705 --> 00:27:55,306
What?
665
00:27:55,306 --> 00:27:58,810
I don't know, like, not like that.
666
00:27:58,810 --> 00:28:02,247
But if you show anyone that picture,
667
00:28:02,247 --> 00:28:05,450
I will project this video on top of the fucking school.
668
00:28:07,552 --> 00:28:10,622
[ Party music playing ]
669
00:28:10,622 --> 00:28:11,690
[ Tires screech, horn honks ]
670
00:28:11,690 --> 00:28:13,391
Fuck! Sorry.
671
00:28:13,391 --> 00:28:18,029
♪♪
672
00:28:18,029 --> 00:28:19,631
♪ Here together ♪
673
00:28:19,631 --> 00:28:22,233
Oh, hey. I totally crashed.
674
00:28:25,904 --> 00:28:28,773
♪ Here together ♪
675
00:28:28,773 --> 00:28:30,608
♪ What's your pleasure ♪
676
00:28:30,608 --> 00:28:33,945
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
677
00:28:33,945 --> 00:28:38,149
♪ Ooh-ooh ♪
678
00:28:38,149 --> 00:28:42,053
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
679
00:28:42,053 --> 00:28:46,191
♪ Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh ♪
680
00:28:46,191 --> 00:28:47,926
Let's fuck those turtles up!
681
00:28:47,926 --> 00:28:52,030
♪ Look so pretty dancing sideways ♪
682
00:28:52,030 --> 00:28:55,567
Hey, Jack, can I, um, talk to you for a minute?
683
00:28:55,567 --> 00:28:57,102
Yeah.
684
00:28:57,102 --> 00:28:59,871
♪ Spin me 'round so I'm unwinding ♪
685
00:28:59,871 --> 00:29:04,409
♪ Can you tell it's real? ♪
686
00:29:04,409 --> 00:29:09,414
♪ I know the way to make you happy ♪
687
00:29:22,026 --> 00:29:25,163
This is, um...
688
00:29:29,534 --> 00:29:31,236
Do you feel shitty?
689
00:29:31,236 --> 00:29:33,171
'Cause I feel shitty, and Naomi saw the chat --
690
00:29:33,171 --> 00:29:35,173
She's not gonna find out.
691
00:29:35,173 --> 00:29:37,142
And it's not like it means anything, right?
692
00:29:37,142 --> 00:29:38,576
It's just -- just a hookup?
693
00:29:38,576 --> 00:29:40,645
Yeah.
694
00:29:40,645 --> 00:29:43,047
[ Both breathing heavily ]
695
00:29:51,756 --> 00:29:53,091
Mm, mm. Sorry.
696
00:29:53,091 --> 00:29:55,160
It's okay.
697
00:30:01,099 --> 00:30:03,535
Do you want to?
698
00:30:03,535 --> 00:30:05,470
I don't know, um...
699
00:30:07,872 --> 00:30:10,341
[ Breathing heavily ]
700
00:30:16,681 --> 00:30:18,216
[ Grunts ]
701
00:30:18,216 --> 00:30:20,485
Oh, dude, you just came in my fucking eye!
702
00:30:20,485 --> 00:30:22,120
Oh!
703
00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:23,488
Riley: Wait, one second, okay?
704
00:30:23,488 --> 00:30:25,023
Hold on. I'll be right back.
705
00:30:25,023 --> 00:30:27,125
Hey. Are you okay? I'm fine.
706
00:30:27,125 --> 00:30:29,127
Okay, I'm texting Chester right now.
707
00:30:29,127 --> 00:30:31,396
You gotta talk to him before he leaves.
708
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,498
Hey, don't worry about Naomi.
709
00:30:33,498 --> 00:30:35,099
You don't need a twin. You have me.
710
00:30:35,099 --> 00:30:36,801
I'm fine, I just need some water.
711
00:30:36,801 --> 00:30:41,873
♪♪
712
00:30:41,873 --> 00:30:46,911
♪♪
713
00:30:46,911 --> 00:30:48,980
-Hi. -Nathan?
714
00:30:48,980 --> 00:30:51,216
Hey, how's it going?
715
00:30:51,216 --> 00:30:53,651
Wait, are you crying?
716
00:30:53,651 --> 00:30:56,487
No, I'm having the worst night of my fucking life.
717
00:30:56,487 --> 00:30:58,189
Fuck! Riley: That sucks.
718
00:30:58,189 --> 00:30:59,657
Wait a minute, I want to talk to you.
719
00:30:59,657 --> 00:31:01,259
Hey, can you take a picture of us?
720
00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:03,161
-Yeah, one second. -Seriously?
721
00:31:03,161 --> 00:31:04,829
I just said I was having the worst night of my life.
722
00:31:04,829 --> 00:31:06,264
You might be having the worst night of your life.
723
00:31:06,264 --> 00:31:08,066
Actually, no, that might be
724
00:31:08,066 --> 00:31:11,703
when your old youth pastor messages you on Grindr.
725
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:13,238
But my point is...
726
00:31:13,238 --> 00:31:18,443
♪ Been living on a prayer all along ♪
727
00:31:18,443 --> 00:31:20,211
♪ I can't erase my life ♪
728
00:31:20,211 --> 00:31:21,846
♪ Everything won't go right ♪
729
00:31:21,846 --> 00:31:23,414
♪ But still I learn ♪
730
00:31:23,414 --> 00:31:25,183
♪ Even though I'm here on Earth ♪
731
00:31:25,183 --> 00:31:26,985
♪ Heaven is the place I'm worth ♪
732
00:31:26,985 --> 00:31:28,453
♪ I'll make it work ♪
733
00:31:28,453 --> 00:31:30,221
♪ I wanna change, my lover ♪
734
00:31:30,221 --> 00:31:31,956
♪ Even in the days I suffer ♪
735
00:31:31,956 --> 00:31:33,491
♪ I can't get worse ♪
736
00:31:33,491 --> 00:31:36,027
...that you'll never feel this bad again.
737
00:31:36,027 --> 00:31:38,529
I'm not really following you.
738
00:31:38,529 --> 00:31:41,199
It's okay.
739
00:31:41,199 --> 00:31:43,635
But will you remind me tomorrow?
740
00:31:43,635 --> 00:31:46,938
It sounds like something I really want to remember.
741
00:31:46,938 --> 00:31:49,574
♪ It's all good, it's okay ♪
742
00:31:49,574 --> 00:31:51,776
♪ Everything is going my way ♪
743
00:31:51,776 --> 00:31:53,211
♪ And when it's over ♪
744
00:31:53,211 --> 00:31:55,213
Riley: You ready?
745
00:31:55,213 --> 00:31:57,382
♪ And make it to a brand new day ♪
746
00:31:57,382 --> 00:31:59,217
♪ And then she'll say ♪
747
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:13,798
[ Sheets rustling ]
748
00:32:13,798 --> 00:32:17,468
How badly did I embarrass myself in front of Chester?
749
00:32:17,468 --> 00:32:20,371
You were fine. He liked you.
750
00:32:20,371 --> 00:32:21,639
But?
751
00:32:21,639 --> 00:32:23,942
But nothing.
752
00:32:23,942 --> 00:32:25,977
But what?
753
00:32:25,977 --> 00:32:27,712
He said you were really sweet.
754
00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:35,253
Did you actually tell Naomi you're bi?
755
00:32:37,422 --> 00:32:39,123
No.
756
00:32:41,159 --> 00:32:43,928
I can't believe I hooked up with Jack.
757
00:32:43,928 --> 00:32:45,129
It's okay.
758
00:32:45,129 --> 00:32:47,165
It's really not.
759
00:32:47,165 --> 00:32:49,100
If I had a sister, I would literally do nothing
760
00:32:49,100 --> 00:32:50,868
but fuck her boyfriends.
761
00:32:50,868 --> 00:32:52,770
[ Laughs ] Yeah?
762
00:32:54,672 --> 00:32:56,107
Yeah.
763
00:32:58,209 --> 00:33:01,279
Did you have fun at your party?
764
00:33:01,279 --> 00:33:03,481
Not in a life-altering way.
765
00:33:03,481 --> 00:33:06,050
But yeah, it was fun.
766
00:33:07,852 --> 00:33:11,289
You should go back to bed.
767
00:33:11,289 --> 00:33:13,758
Will you sleep next to me?
768
00:33:13,758 --> 00:33:15,660
Sure.
769
00:33:15,660 --> 00:33:17,395
In a bit.
770
00:33:27,839 --> 00:33:30,942
[ Renforshort's "I Drive Me Mad" plays ]
771
00:33:30,942 --> 00:33:38,383
♪♪
772
00:33:38,383 --> 00:33:41,185
♪ I can't quite help it ♪
773
00:33:41,185 --> 00:33:43,521
♪ It's overwhelming ♪
774
00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:48,726
♪ Sometimes I wanna stick a cigarette in my ♪
775
00:33:48,726 --> 00:33:51,362
♪ Eyes closed, not sleeping ♪
776
00:33:51,362 --> 00:33:53,798
♪ It's just hard being human ♪
777
00:33:53,798 --> 00:33:58,669
♪ Some days I wake up and I feel like I just wanna ♪
778
00:33:58,669 --> 00:34:00,705
♪ Dye my hair neon green ♪
779
00:34:00,705 --> 00:34:03,274
♪ So I can forget I'm me ♪
780
00:34:03,274 --> 00:34:09,981
♪ Don't wanna think about drinking a glass of gasoline ♪
781
00:34:09,981 --> 00:34:14,085
♪ I'm hyperventilating, pacing ♪
782
00:34:14,085 --> 00:34:16,421
♪ I'm losing my patience ♪
783
00:34:16,421 --> 00:34:20,458
♪ Feeling bad about shit I didn't do ♪
784
00:34:20,458 --> 00:34:23,428
♪ So dramatic, panicked, ♪
785
00:34:23,428 --> 00:34:25,663
♪ I got pre-traumatic ♪
786
00:34:25,663 --> 00:34:27,665
♪ Stress 'cause nothing happened yet ♪
787
00:34:27,665 --> 00:34:29,500
♪ But it did in my head ♪
788
00:34:29,500 --> 00:34:31,569
♪ I drive me mad ♪
789
00:34:31,569 --> 00:34:34,172
♪ I drive me absolutely crazy ♪
790
00:34:34,172 --> 00:34:36,007
♪ I feel bad ♪
791
00:34:36,007 --> 00:34:39,444
♪ For you 'cause I'm so fucking paranoid and sad ♪
792
00:34:39,444 --> 00:34:42,947
♪ All the time, you could blame it on my mind ♪
793
00:34:42,947 --> 00:34:44,582
♪ And now I'm mad ♪
794
00:34:44,582 --> 00:34:47,151
♪ I drive me mad ♪
795
00:34:47,151 --> 00:34:48,820
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
796
00:34:48,820 --> 00:34:56,327
♪♪
797
00:34:56,327 --> 00:35:00,198
♪ Ah, ah-ah-ah ♪
798
00:35:00,198 --> 00:35:03,000
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
799
00:35:03,000 --> 00:35:06,571
♪ I feel bad for you ♪
800
00:35:06,571 --> 00:35:08,906
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
801
00:35:08,906 --> 00:35:10,908
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
802
00:35:10,908 --> 00:35:15,379
♪ 'Cause I drive me mad, too ♪ ♪ I drive me mad ♪
803
00:35:15,379 --> 00:35:17,515
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
804
00:35:17,515 --> 00:35:19,717
♪ You-ooh-ooh ♪
805
00:35:19,717 --> 00:35:23,754
♪ 'Cause I drive me mad, too ♪ ♪ I drive me mad ♪
806
00:35:23,754 --> 00:35:28,159
♪ I drive me absolutely crazy, I feel bad ♪
807
00:35:28,159 --> 00:35:31,729
♪ For you 'cause I'm so fucking paranoid and sad ♪
808
00:35:31,729 --> 00:35:35,133
♪ All the time, you could blame it on my mind ♪
809
00:35:35,133 --> 00:35:37,101
♪ Now I'm mad ♪
810
00:35:37,101 --> 00:35:39,303
♪ I drive me mad ♪
811
00:35:39,303 --> 00:35:41,572
♪ Ah-ah-ah ♪
56272
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof