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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:05,837
[THEME MUSIC FROM
THE X FILES PLAYING]
2
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,850
[YAWNS]
3
00:00:23,024 --> 00:00:25,357
CUT IT OUT. I'M TRYING TO WATCH.
4
00:00:28,162 --> 00:00:33,798
I WILL RIP OFF YOUR ARM, AND
BEAT YOU UNCONSCIOUS WITH IT.
5
00:00:35,536 --> 00:00:37,836
YAAAH! MY ARM!
6
00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,431
GET AWAY FROM
ME WITH PETE'S ARM!
7
00:01:04,831 --> 00:01:08,800
BERG! WE GOT A
CHOICE THIS MONTH.
8
00:01:08,835 --> 00:01:10,802
WE EITHER LOSE CINEMAX...
9
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,837
OR WE SELL OUR PLASMA.
10
00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:17,909
HAVE NO FEAR. I GOT IT COVERED.
11
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,778
OH, BERG, NO MORE
MEDICAL EXPERIMENTS.
12
00:01:20,814 --> 00:01:24,216
JUST REMEMBER, MY EYE DROP
EXPERIMENT PAID FOR THAT COUCH.
13
00:01:24,251 --> 00:01:29,454
AND, BERG, WHAT COLOR
WOULD YOU SAY THAT COUCH IS?
14
00:01:32,593 --> 00:01:34,159
I DON'T KNOW.
15
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:36,094
BLUE.
16
00:01:36,129 --> 00:01:40,632
IT'S JUST PRODUCT TESTING.
17
00:01:40,668 --> 00:01:42,612
"MARATHON PERSONAL TRAINERS.
18
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:44,347
YOU'LL NEVER RUN ALONE."
19
00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:47,406
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS
WEAR THESE FOR 26 MILES
20
00:01:47,441 --> 00:01:49,207
AND RECORD MY EXPERIENCE.
21
00:01:50,811 --> 00:01:55,013
10:38 A.M. THEY
ARE... COMFORTABLE...
22
00:01:55,049 --> 00:01:56,548
WITH FIRM SUPPORT.
23
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:57,961
Recorded voice: CONGRATULATIONS!
24
00:01:57,985 --> 00:02:01,753
AND WELCOME TO YOUR
MARATHON PERSONAL TRAINERS!
25
00:02:01,789 --> 00:02:02,789
[BEEP BEEP]
26
00:02:02,823 --> 00:02:04,156
OH, PETE, CAN I KEEP THEM?
27
00:02:04,191 --> 00:02:06,558
I SWEAR, I'LL TAKE CARE OF THEM!
28
00:02:06,594 --> 00:02:08,927
OH, LORD, GIVE ME STRENGTH.
29
00:02:11,164 --> 00:02:13,097
STOP PUTTING YOUR SWEATY SHIRTS
30
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,366
IN MY LAUNDRY.
31
00:02:14,401 --> 00:02:16,034
IT'S ONE SHIRT.
32
00:02:16,070 --> 00:02:17,703
WITH THE STINK OF 6.
33
00:02:17,738 --> 00:02:21,106
AND IF YOU'RE THROUGH
WITH MY TRAVEL MUG...
34
00:02:21,141 --> 00:02:22,341
ACTUALLY...
35
00:02:22,376 --> 00:02:26,711
Shoes: SLOW DOWN. YOU
STILL HAVE 25.7 MILES TO GO.
36
00:02:26,746 --> 00:02:27,913
ARE YOUR SHOES TALKING?
37
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:30,616
GOT YOUR ATTENTION, DID THEY?
38
00:02:30,651 --> 00:02:34,953
10:40: BABES DIG 'EM.
39
00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,088
BERG...
40
00:02:37,124 --> 00:02:40,725
BERG, DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING
DIFFERENT ABOUT OUR SHARON?
41
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:41,826
NO, NOTHING...
42
00:02:41,862 --> 00:02:45,397
EXCEPT THAT SOMEBODY
GIFT-WRAPPED HER NECK.
43
00:02:45,432 --> 00:02:48,299
COME ON. IT'S A SCARF.
44
00:02:48,335 --> 00:02:50,736
TED GAVE ME THIS SCARF.
45
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,537
I THINK IT'S CUTE.
46
00:02:52,573 --> 00:02:54,339
TED? TED?
47
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,807
BERG, SHE HAS A TED.
48
00:02:55,842 --> 00:02:57,909
YES, TED. HIS NAME'S TED.
49
00:02:57,944 --> 00:03:00,178
JUST NOT USED TO
THEM HAVING NAMES.
50
00:03:00,213 --> 00:03:02,113
WELL, HE'S GOT ONE, IT'S TED,
51
00:03:02,149 --> 00:03:03,459
AND I GOTTA GET TO WORK.
52
00:03:03,483 --> 00:03:07,285
WORK? OR IS TED WHISKING
YOU AWAY TO SCARF WAREHOUSE?
53
00:03:07,320 --> 00:03:08,286
OR HOUSE OF SCARVES?
54
00:03:08,321 --> 00:03:10,488
SCARF DEPOT. JIFFY SCARVES.
55
00:03:10,523 --> 00:03:11,756
YOU TWO HAVE FUN.
56
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:13,324
WE'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT, RIGHT?
57
00:03:13,360 --> 00:03:14,592
OH, I HAVE PLANS.
58
00:03:14,628 --> 00:03:16,640
IT'S THURSDAY. YOU
CAN'T HAVE PLANS.
59
00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,109
IT'S YOUR NIGHT TO COME TO THE
PIZZA PLACE AND WATCH US WORK.
60
00:03:19,133 --> 00:03:20,098
SORRY.
61
00:03:20,133 --> 00:03:22,867
IT'S UNLIMITED TOPPINGS NIGHT.
62
00:03:22,903 --> 00:03:28,907
GUYS, IF IT'S OK WITH YOU,
I'M TRYING TO HAVE A LIFE.
63
00:03:30,443 --> 00:03:32,878
ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!
64
00:03:32,913 --> 00:03:35,625
I'LL SAY. DID YOU SLIP MY
SHIRT BACK IN THE BAG?
65
00:03:35,649 --> 00:03:36,615
YEAH, AND MY BOXERS.
66
00:03:36,650 --> 00:03:38,350
EXCELLENT.
67
00:03:42,122 --> 00:03:44,189
AND IF YOU GUYS
NEED ANYTHING ELSE,
68
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:46,958
JUST CALL FOR ME.
MY NAME'S "HEY...
69
00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:49,594
YOU'RE DARN GOOD-LOOKIN'."
70
00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,330
Shoes: 10 MILES.
KEEP IT UP, CHAMP!
71
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:53,831
KEEP THOSE SNEAKERS QUIET,
72
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:56,334
OR I'M GONNA TEAR
THEIR TONGUES OUT.
73
00:03:56,369 --> 00:03:59,270
I'LL JUST LOWER THE VOLUME.
74
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:05,710
4:47: FEET ARE
HAPPY. BILL'S TICKED.
75
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:09,626
HOW WAS THE CELTIC
GAME LAST NIGHT?
76
00:04:09,650 --> 00:04:12,851
UH, SHARON CANCELED ON
ME, SO I HAD TO TAKE MELISSA.
77
00:04:12,886 --> 00:04:15,564
OH, WHAT A SHAME, HAVING TO
GO OUT WITH YOUR OWN GIRLFRIEND.
78
00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:19,791
BILL, I LOVE MELISSA, JUST NOT
AT A CELTIC GAME, YOU KNOW?
79
00:04:19,826 --> 00:04:23,428
EVERY TIME THEY MISS A SHOT, SHE
SAYS, "IT'S GONNA BE OK, SWEETIE."
80
00:04:23,463 --> 00:04:25,196
WHAT DOES SHARON DO?
81
00:04:25,231 --> 00:04:28,399
SHARON SCREAMS, "HEY,
YOU MAKE 7 MILLION A YEAR!
82
00:04:28,435 --> 00:04:31,102
MAKE THE [CLUNK] SHOT!"
83
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:33,983
AND THE OTHER DAY, SHE WAS
SUPPOSED TO COME WITH ME
84
00:04:34,007 --> 00:04:35,385
ON THAT BUS TOUR
OF HISTORIC BOSTON.
85
00:04:35,409 --> 00:04:36,975
WHERE THE GUYS DRESS
UP LIKE MINUTEMEN?
86
00:04:37,010 --> 00:04:38,721
YEAH. WE SIT ON THE UPPER
DECK, AND WHEN THE GUY SAYS,
87
00:04:38,745 --> 00:04:41,024
"THIS IS WHERE PAUL REVERE
TOOK HIS MIDNIGHT RIDE,"
88
00:04:41,048 --> 00:04:44,982
WE BOTH YELL,
"YEAH! ON YOUR MOM!"
89
00:04:45,018 --> 00:04:47,619
EXERCISING THE FIRST AMENDMENT.
90
00:04:47,655 --> 00:04:49,932
WHEN I DO THAT BIT WITH
SHARON, PEOPLE LAUGH.
91
00:04:49,956 --> 00:04:51,334
BUT WHEN I DID IT ALONE,
92
00:04:51,358 --> 00:04:54,478
THEY SAID, "HONEY, MOVE
AWAY FROM THAT MAN."
93
00:04:55,695 --> 00:04:56,995
HEY, GUYS.
94
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:59,997
SHARON! PETE, IT'S SHARON,
COME TO WATCH US WORK.
95
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,767
SO, YOU COULDN'T
STAY AWAY, COULD YOU?
96
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,914
YOU'RE JUST IN TIME. I WAS
JUST ABOUT TO STUFF A PEPPER.
97
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,983
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO
WATCH YOU GUYS WORK.
98
00:05:07,007 --> 00:05:08,284
I CAME TO PICK UP A PIZZA.
99
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:11,476
HEY, BILL, IS THAT
ORDER FOR TED READY?
100
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,778
TED. ONE LARGE PIE:
101
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:16,114
EGGPLANT, MUSHROOMS,
AND GREEN PEPPERS.
102
00:05:16,150 --> 00:05:17,448
YUCK.
103
00:05:17,483 --> 00:05:20,051
MY GOD! FIRST, HE'S GOT
YOU WEARING SCARVES,
104
00:05:20,086 --> 00:05:21,953
THEN HE'S GOT YOU
EATING VEGETABLES.
105
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:25,823
NEXT THING YOU KNOW, IT'S, "COME
ON, SHARON. LET'S SMOKE SOME CRACK."
106
00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,792
WHAT'S IN THE BAG?
107
00:05:27,827 --> 00:05:28,793
VIDEOS.
108
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,006
WHAT KIND OF VIDEOS?
109
00:05:30,030 --> 00:05:33,098
NONE-OF-YOUR-BUSINESS VIDEOS.
110
00:05:33,133 --> 00:05:35,633
BERG, COME ON,
GIVE IT BACK! BERG!
111
00:05:35,669 --> 00:05:38,669
SLEEPLESS IN SEATTLE?
112
00:05:38,705 --> 00:05:40,865
WHEN HARRY MET SALLY?
113
00:05:42,675 --> 00:05:44,987
THESE ARE ALL MEG RYAN MOVIES.
114
00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:46,144
YOU HATE MEG RYAN.
115
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:50,848
I KNOW... BUT TED
THINKS I LOOK LIKE HER.
116
00:05:54,988 --> 00:05:56,188
WHAT WAS THAT?
117
00:05:56,222 --> 00:05:57,967
WHAT IS THIS GUY DOING TO HER?
118
00:05:57,991 --> 00:05:59,168
THAT IS NOT OUR SHARON.
119
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:02,393
YOU'RE MORE RIGHT THAN YOU KNOW.
120
00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:07,298
HAVE YOU NOTICED PEOPLE HAVE
BEEN ACTING STRANGELY OF LATE?
121
00:06:07,333 --> 00:06:09,767
ALMOST AS IF THEY'RE
NOT REALLY THEMSELVES?
122
00:06:09,803 --> 00:06:13,405
OH, SURE, THEY LOOK
THE SAME, BUT INSIDE...
123
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:17,375
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS
HAVE TO TALK TO ME?
124
00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:20,979
POD PEOPLE.
125
00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:23,448
PETE, THERE'S A DELIVERY.
126
00:06:23,483 --> 00:06:25,783
YES, PETE, HURRY.
"BILL" NEEDS YOU.
127
00:06:25,818 --> 00:06:27,985
HE'LL BE RIGHT THERE... "BILL."
128
00:06:41,968 --> 00:06:44,269
Shoes: WELCOME
BACK! READY TO RUN?
129
00:06:44,304 --> 00:06:47,338
HELLO, TURNER. MORNING, HOOCH.
130
00:06:49,676 --> 00:06:51,008
BERG!
131
00:06:52,945 --> 00:06:53,989
WHY IS THERE NO HOT WATER?
132
00:06:54,013 --> 00:06:55,224
YOU WERE SUPPOSED
TO MAIL THE BILL.
133
00:06:55,248 --> 00:06:56,647
SHARON HASN'T BEEN
AROUND ALL WEEK,
134
00:06:56,683 --> 00:06:58,449
SO I COULDN'T SCORE STAMPS.
135
00:06:58,485 --> 00:07:00,229
OH. OH, WELL, LISTEN...
136
00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:02,587
I'LL GIVE YOU THE NAME
OF HER CONNECTION.
137
00:07:02,622 --> 00:07:04,289
THE POST OFFICE!
138
00:07:07,127 --> 00:07:09,105
Shoes: REMEMBER TO BREATHE!
139
00:07:09,129 --> 00:07:12,096
OK, I'M GONNA START
HATING THOSE NOW.
140
00:07:12,132 --> 00:07:14,766
LEAVE THEM ALONE.
141
00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:17,035
ALL THEY SAID WAS "BREATHE."
142
00:07:17,070 --> 00:07:20,405
YOU HAD IT IN FOR MY SHOES
THE MOMENT YOU MET 'EM.
143
00:07:20,440 --> 00:07:23,608
YOU NEVER EVEN
GAVE THEM A CHANCE.
144
00:07:23,643 --> 00:07:27,111
YOU JUST... ASSUME BECAUSE THEY'RE
SHOES, YOU CAN'T BE FRIENDS WITH THEM.
145
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:30,314
I'D RATHER BE FRIENDS
WITH THEM THAN WITH YOU.
146
00:07:30,349 --> 00:07:32,817
THAT WASN'T NICE.
147
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:36,799
I'M NOT MAD AT YOU.
I'M MAD AT SHARON.
148
00:07:36,823 --> 00:07:39,991
I MEAN, SHE'S COMPLETELY
THROWN OFF THE BALANCE OF OUR...
149
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,828
DELICATE ECOSYSTEM.
150
00:07:44,965 --> 00:07:48,032
PLUS, WE HAVE TO WATCH SMALL TV.
151
00:07:48,068 --> 00:07:51,302
WE CAN'T GO ON LIVING LIKE THIS.
152
00:07:51,338 --> 00:07:53,171
I SAY WE MARCH UP
TO HER APARTMENT
153
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,583
AND SET THINGS STRAIGHT...
154
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:57,153
WE TAKE BACK OUR LAUNDRY,
BORROW SOME STAMPS...
155
00:07:57,177 --> 00:07:58,177
GRAB A QUICK SHOWER...
156
00:07:58,211 --> 00:08:00,011
AND LET HER APOLOGIZE.
157
00:08:02,549 --> 00:08:05,549
Shoes: NOTHING CAN STOP
YOU. YOU'RE A WINNER!
158
00:08:05,585 --> 00:08:08,452
8:40: FIRM ARCH SUPPORT
159
00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:12,724
AND... EMOTIONAL SUPPORT.
160
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,961
[SNIFFING]
161
00:08:20,133 --> 00:08:22,166
PANCAKES! PANCAKES!
162
00:08:22,201 --> 00:08:23,841
HONEY, WE'RE HOME!
163
00:08:27,374 --> 00:08:28,940
SHARON!
164
00:08:28,976 --> 00:08:31,588
SHARON, THERE'S SOMETHING
WRONG WITH YOUR DOOR!
165
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,913
EXCUSE ME. CAN I HELP YOU GUYS?
166
00:08:34,948 --> 00:08:36,414
WE'RE LOOKING FOR SHARON.
167
00:08:36,449 --> 00:08:38,527
SHH. SHE'S STILL ASLEEP.
168
00:08:38,551 --> 00:08:40,718
I'M TED, AND YOU ARE..?
169
00:08:40,753 --> 00:08:42,820
WE'RE PETE AND BERG.
170
00:08:44,458 --> 00:08:45,923
WE LIVE DOWNSTAIRS.
171
00:08:45,959 --> 00:08:48,393
WE ALL WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.
172
00:08:48,428 --> 00:08:49,727
WE'RE HER BEST FRIENDS.
173
00:08:49,762 --> 00:08:53,264
OH, REALLY? WELL, IT'S
NICE TO MEET YOU, PETE.
174
00:08:53,299 --> 00:08:54,332
UH, BERT.
175
00:08:55,602 --> 00:08:57,835
I'LL TELL SHARON YOU STOPPED BY.
176
00:09:00,573 --> 00:09:01,639
YOU KNOW WHAT?
177
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:02,774
WHAT, BERT?
178
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:07,278
I SAY WE START HATING HIM NOW.
179
00:09:13,787 --> 00:09:18,789
OOH, LOOK AT ME... I'M TED.
180
00:09:18,825 --> 00:09:21,492
SHH! YOU MIGHT WAKE UP SHARON.
181
00:09:23,564 --> 00:09:25,529
WHAT IS THE DEAL WITH HIM?
182
00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,865
I DON'T KNOW, BUT WE DON'T
GET TO SEE OUR SHARON
183
00:09:27,900 --> 00:09:29,701
BECAUSE OF BATTER BOY.
184
00:09:29,736 --> 00:09:31,268
I DON'T THINK SO.
185
00:09:31,304 --> 00:09:33,850
WE NEED TO EXTRICATE
HIM FROM HER LIFE AND OURS.
186
00:09:33,874 --> 00:09:35,440
AND FAST.
187
00:09:35,475 --> 00:09:36,608
YOU KNOW,
188
00:09:36,643 --> 00:09:37,653
TURNER AND HOOCH
WERE TALKING EARLIER...
189
00:09:37,677 --> 00:09:40,912
AND THEY SAID SOMETHING
VERY INTRIGUING.
190
00:09:40,947 --> 00:09:42,514
DON'T QUOTE YOUR SHOES.
191
00:09:42,549 --> 00:09:44,783
"STAY CLOSE TO THE LEADER,
192
00:09:44,818 --> 00:09:47,018
OR THE RACE IS LOST."
193
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,454
WHAT DO YOU THINK
THEY MEANT BY THAT?
194
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,322
I DON'T KNOW.
195
00:09:51,357 --> 00:09:53,136
I'LL TAKE THEM FOR
A WALK IN THE PARK,
196
00:09:53,160 --> 00:09:55,037
TRY AND GET IT OUT OF THEM.
197
00:09:55,061 --> 00:09:58,696
OK, KIDS, LOOK WHAT I GOT:
198
00:09:58,732 --> 00:09:59,831
HOMEMADE PLAY-DOH.
199
00:09:59,866 --> 00:10:01,733
OOH! NOW, WHAT DO WE SAY?
200
00:10:01,768 --> 00:10:03,946
THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!
201
00:10:03,970 --> 00:10:05,302
VERY GOOD!
202
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,005
EWW!
203
00:10:07,040 --> 00:10:08,851
RACHEL, SOMEDAY,
WHEN YOU GROW UP,
204
00:10:08,875 --> 00:10:10,853
AND YOU MEET SOMEONE
YOU REALLY LIKE,
205
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,311
YOU WON'T THINK
KISSING IS SO YUCKY.
206
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:14,312
MMM-WAH!
207
00:10:14,347 --> 00:10:16,648
EWW!
208
00:10:16,683 --> 00:10:18,483
HEY, GUYS, WHAT'S UP?
209
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,995
TED SAID YOU STOPPED BY.
210
00:10:20,019 --> 00:10:23,821
TED? YOU MEAN, THE GUY
WHO'S NEVER HEARD OF ME.
211
00:10:23,857 --> 00:10:25,701
NO, NO. HE'S HEARD OF YOU.
212
00:10:25,725 --> 00:10:27,758
YOU'RE, UM... BERT.
213
00:10:27,794 --> 00:10:28,959
I'M SORRY,
214
00:10:28,995 --> 00:10:30,239
BUT WHEN YOU'RE FIRST
STARTING TO DATE A GUY,
215
00:10:30,263 --> 00:10:32,040
YOU DON'T LEAD OFF WITH,
"HEY, MY BEST FRIENDS
216
00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:33,609
ARE TWO GOOD-LOOKING GUYS
217
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,577
WHO LIVE DOWNSTAIRS."
218
00:10:35,601 --> 00:10:37,602
GIVE US A SEC.
219
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:40,405
[WHISPERING]
220
00:10:42,175 --> 00:10:44,542
OK, THE "GOOD-LOOKING" THING...
221
00:10:44,577 --> 00:10:47,312
VALIANT TRY...
222
00:10:47,347 --> 00:10:49,080
BUT IT DOESN'T GET
YOU OFF THE HOOK.
223
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:50,081
NO WAY.
224
00:10:50,116 --> 00:10:52,116
MELISSA, HELP ME OUT HERE.
225
00:10:52,151 --> 00:10:55,019
OH, SURE. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.
226
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,354
WHAT'S UP?
227
00:10:56,389 --> 00:10:57,922
WHEN YOU FIRST
STARTED TO DATE PETE,
228
00:10:57,957 --> 00:10:58,923
DID HE TELL YOU ABOUT ME?
229
00:10:58,958 --> 00:11:00,658
ABSOLUTELY. SEE?
230
00:11:00,694 --> 00:11:01,971
REALLY? YEAH!
231
00:11:01,995 --> 00:11:04,139
THE FIRST NIGHT
PETE AND I MADE LOVE,
232
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,475
YOU SCREAMED, "KNOCK
IT OFF DOWN THERE,
233
00:11:05,499 --> 00:11:07,780
OR I'LL SHOOT YOUR WHORE."
234
00:11:10,503 --> 00:11:12,648
MADE ME CURIOUS ABOUT YOU.
235
00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,807
OH, SO THEY'RE
CURIOUS ABOUT TED.
236
00:11:15,842 --> 00:11:17,653
ALL I KNOW IS THE
THREE OF YOU TOGETHER
237
00:11:17,677 --> 00:11:18,988
CAN BE KIND OF INTIMIDATING.
238
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:21,557
IT'S A TOUGH CLUB TO
GET INTO, YOU KNOW?
239
00:11:21,581 --> 00:11:23,814
PLUS, THERE'S A 2-DRINK MINIMUM.
240
00:11:23,849 --> 00:11:25,083
OW!
241
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:28,318
NO, RACHEL. WE BITE OUR
FOOD, NOT OUR FRIENDS.
242
00:11:30,022 --> 00:11:30,988
YOU'RE RIGHT.
243
00:11:31,023 --> 00:11:32,623
WE'RE NOT BEING FAIR.
244
00:11:32,658 --> 00:11:33,969
WE SHOULD GET TO KNOW HIM.
245
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:37,306
GREAT. I AM FREE EVERY
NIGHT THIS WEEK BUT TONIGHT.
246
00:11:37,330 --> 00:11:39,997
TONIGHT IT IS.
247
00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:41,510
NO, NO. I WANNA BE THERE.
248
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:42,778
WE'LL BE FINE WITHOUT YOU.
249
00:11:42,802 --> 00:11:44,335
IT'LL BE JUST US GUYS.
250
00:11:44,371 --> 00:11:45,836
GUYS' NIGHT OUT.
251
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,171
BUT I'M A GUY.
252
00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:51,542
YOU LOST YOUR GUY RIGHTS
WHEN YOU PUT ON THE SCARF.
253
00:11:52,879 --> 00:11:55,413
OK, FINE, BUT BEHAVE.
254
00:11:55,448 --> 00:11:57,360
WE'LL JUST BE OURSELVES.
255
00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,349
PLEASE DON'T.
256
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,117
I REALLY LIKE THIS GUY.
257
00:12:02,055 --> 00:12:04,255
FINE. 7:00, MAHONEY'S.
258
00:12:04,290 --> 00:12:05,824
FINE.
259
00:12:08,328 --> 00:12:10,995
KEEP YOUR EYES WIDE OPEN.
260
00:12:11,031 --> 00:12:14,398
SHOW NO INTEREST OR EXCITEMENT.
261
00:12:14,434 --> 00:12:16,667
DON'T TRUST ANYONE.
262
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:19,904
HEY, HOW YOU KIDS DOING?
263
00:12:19,939 --> 00:12:23,174
JUST FINE... "BILL."
264
00:12:24,544 --> 00:12:26,444
I'M BILL!
265
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:40,591
Shoes: REMEMBER TO
DRINK PLENTY OF FLUIDS!
266
00:12:40,626 --> 00:12:41,592
HEAR, HEAR!
267
00:12:41,627 --> 00:12:45,263
OK... 7:02: WE MEET TED.
268
00:12:45,298 --> 00:12:46,876
7:03: WE LIQUOR HIM UP
269
00:12:46,900 --> 00:12:49,812
AND TROLL HIS SOUL
FOR DEEP, DARK SECRETS.
270
00:12:49,836 --> 00:12:52,269
THEN WE TELL SHARON
WHAT A LOUSE HE IS.
271
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:56,007
BY 10:45, WE'RE BACK IN
FRONT OF HER BIG-SCREEN TV,
272
00:12:56,042 --> 00:12:58,342
WHERE WE SO RIGHTFULLY BELONG.
273
00:12:58,377 --> 00:12:59,510
FOR SHARON.
274
00:12:59,546 --> 00:13:00,786
FOR SHARON.
275
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:04,160
DOES THIS MAKE US SELFISH?
276
00:13:04,184 --> 00:13:05,617
NOT AT ALL.
277
00:13:05,652 --> 00:13:08,620
LOOK, SHARON'S NOT
ACTING LIKE HERSELF, RIGHT?
278
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:13,258
AND ANY GUY WHO FORCES
HER NOT TO BE HER...
279
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:15,326
OUGHT NOT TO BE WITH HER.
280
00:13:17,330 --> 00:13:18,830
SOLD!
281
00:13:19,699 --> 00:13:21,565
HEY, PETE! BERG.
282
00:13:21,601 --> 00:13:23,301
GOSH, I'M SORRY I'M LATE.
283
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:24,903
I GOT HELD UP AT THE GYM.
284
00:13:24,938 --> 00:13:27,083
THAT'S OK. GOTTA WORK
OFF THOSE PANCAKES.
285
00:13:27,107 --> 00:13:29,073
ACTUALLY, I'M IN THIS
BIG BROTHER PROGRAM,
286
00:13:29,109 --> 00:13:32,109
AND THE BASKETBALL
GAME WENT INTO OVERTIME.
287
00:13:32,144 --> 00:13:34,045
I COULDN'T JUST
WALK OUT ON BOBBY,
288
00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:37,882
NOT AFTER HIS
MOTHER AND FATHER DID.
289
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:44,488
WHO WANTS A DRINK? HEY.
290
00:13:44,523 --> 00:13:45,489
HEY, GUYS! HI, TINA.
291
00:13:45,524 --> 00:13:46,490
WHAT ARE YOU HAVING?
292
00:13:46,525 --> 00:13:47,491
THE USUAL.
293
00:13:47,526 --> 00:13:48,493
THIS ROUND'S ON ME.
294
00:13:48,528 --> 00:13:50,606
THE USUAL, OF
COURSE, BEING MARTINIS.
295
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,007
DOUBLE. EXTRA OLIVES.
296
00:13:52,031 --> 00:13:54,365
BOY, THEY SAW YOU COMING, HUH?
297
00:13:54,400 --> 00:13:56,267
AND A CLUB SODA.
298
00:13:56,302 --> 00:13:57,835
CLUB SODA?
299
00:13:57,870 --> 00:14:00,604
SORRY, FELLAS. I'VE GOT AN
EARLY DEPOSITION IN THE MORNING.
300
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:02,084
COME ON. I GOT A CLASS.
301
00:14:02,108 --> 00:14:03,674
IT'S A REALLY IMPORTANT CASE.
302
00:14:03,709 --> 00:14:05,276
BLOW IT OFF.
303
00:14:05,311 --> 00:14:08,346
HEH HEH! SHARON WARNED
ME ABOUT YOU GUYS.
304
00:14:08,381 --> 00:14:09,347
SO, YOU'RE A LAWYER.
305
00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:10,448
YEP.
306
00:14:10,483 --> 00:14:11,661
THAT MUST BE TOUGH...
307
00:14:11,685 --> 00:14:14,096
CAPITALIZING OFF OTHER
PEOPLE'S MISFORTUNES.
308
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,353
NO, NO. I'M IN
ENVIRONMENTAL LAW.
309
00:14:16,388 --> 00:14:17,655
THAT'S WHERE I MET SHARON.
310
00:14:17,690 --> 00:14:19,657
MY FIRM WAS FIGHTING
HER CHEMICAL COMPANY.
311
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,760
THERE I WAS, MAKING A
PASSIONATE PLEA TO THE JURY
312
00:14:22,795 --> 00:14:25,129
ABOUT ALL THE TRUMPET
SWANS THAT WERE KILLED,
313
00:14:25,164 --> 00:14:28,332
I POINTED ACCUSINGLY
AT THE DEFENSE TABLE,
314
00:14:28,367 --> 00:14:30,634
AND THERE SHE WAS.
315
00:14:30,670 --> 00:14:35,406
HE, UH, DEFENDS SWANS, PETE.
316
00:14:35,442 --> 00:14:39,811
HERE YOU GO, THURSTON, LOVEY.
317
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,015
AND A CLUB SODA.
318
00:14:44,050 --> 00:14:47,051
WHOA! DID YOU FEEL THAT HEAT?
319
00:14:47,086 --> 00:14:50,454
OH, MAN, SHE WAS ALL OVER YOU.
320
00:14:50,489 --> 00:14:51,455
YOU THINK?
321
00:14:51,490 --> 00:14:52,456
DEFINITELY.
322
00:14:52,491 --> 00:14:53,903
COULDN'T BE MORE OBVIOUS.
323
00:14:53,927 --> 00:14:57,261
SINCE I MET SHARON, I JUST
DON'T PICK UP ON THAT STUFF...
324
00:14:57,296 --> 00:14:58,363
OH! WHOA!
325
00:14:58,398 --> 00:15:00,798
IT'S OK, IT'S OK.
JUST A CLUB SODA.
326
00:15:00,834 --> 00:15:04,435
A LITTLE RED WINE
SHOULD GET THIS RIGHT OUT.
327
00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,503
BE RIGHT BACK.
328
00:15:05,538 --> 00:15:09,707
HA HA HA! HO HO HO HO... KAY.
329
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:13,677
TRUMPET SWANS, BIG
BROTHERS, SODA, COME ON!
330
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:15,613
DON'T LET HIM SUCK YOU IN.
331
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:17,215
ANYONE WITH A YARD THIS NICE
332
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:20,018
HAS TO HAVE SOMETHING
BURIED UNDERNEATH.
333
00:15:20,053 --> 00:15:22,320
YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT.
334
00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,966
NO ONE'S THIS PERFECT.
335
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:26,635
WE'LL FIND OUT WHAT'S
WRONG WITH HIM.
336
00:15:26,659 --> 00:15:27,625
FOR SHARON.
337
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,593
FOR SHARON.
338
00:15:32,032 --> 00:15:32,997
[CHOKING]
339
00:15:33,033 --> 00:15:36,234
BERG, STOP FOOLING AROUND.
340
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:38,736
YEAH, RIGHT. HA HA.
341
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,273
YOU'RE FAKING THIS.
342
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:45,943
BERG, ARE YOU FAKING THIS?
343
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:48,279
BERG, TELL ME
YOU'RE FAKING THIS!
344
00:15:54,554 --> 00:15:57,254
YOU SAVED HIS LIFE.
345
00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,856
WHAT A SHOW-OFF.
346
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:06,697
PETE, TABLE 3.
347
00:16:06,733 --> 00:16:08,533
ALL RIGHT, IN A SEC.
348
00:16:08,568 --> 00:16:10,968
BEFORE IT PETRIFIES.
349
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:12,102
GO ALONG, PETE.
350
00:16:12,137 --> 00:16:15,239
YOU DON'T WANT TO UPSET "BILL."
351
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:19,410
HEY, BILL, WHAT ARE
WE GONNA TELL SHARON?
352
00:16:19,446 --> 00:16:20,823
SHE'S ON HER WAY OVER.
353
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:22,246
WHAT, YOU DIDN'T LIKE THIS GUY?
354
00:16:22,281 --> 00:16:24,849
HE'S ALL RIGHT.
HE'S RESPONSIBLE.
355
00:16:24,884 --> 00:16:27,084
HE'S GENEROUS. HE'S LOYAL.
356
00:16:27,119 --> 00:16:29,820
HE'S JUST COMPLETELY
WRONG FOR US.
357
00:16:29,855 --> 00:16:32,890
WHO CARES ABOUT YOU?
IS HE GOOD FOR SHARON?
358
00:16:32,925 --> 00:16:35,659
I DON'T KNOW. SHE'S
BEEN ACTING REALLY WEIRD
359
00:16:35,694 --> 00:16:37,172
EVER SINCE SHE'S BEEN WITH HIM.
360
00:16:37,196 --> 00:16:39,341
YEAH. SHE'S NOT OUR
SHARON ANYMORE.
361
00:16:39,365 --> 00:16:40,330
SHE LOOKS DIFFERENT.
362
00:16:40,366 --> 00:16:41,476
SHE ACTS DIFFERENT.
363
00:16:41,500 --> 00:16:42,820
SHE'S... HAPPY.
364
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:48,539
WH... WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT..?
365
00:16:48,574 --> 00:16:52,576
OH, NO!
366
00:16:52,611 --> 00:16:54,178
PODS!
367
00:16:54,213 --> 00:16:56,173
THEY GOT YOU, TOO!
368
00:16:57,183 --> 00:17:00,117
I'M THE ONLY ONE LEFT!
369
00:17:00,152 --> 00:17:04,355
WHATEVER YOU DO,
DON'T FALL ASLEEP!
370
00:17:06,625 --> 00:17:08,159
BERG, LET'S FACE IT.
371
00:17:08,194 --> 00:17:10,361
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS,
372
00:17:10,396 --> 00:17:13,197
BUT MR. BAUER MAKES SENSE.
373
00:17:13,232 --> 00:17:15,566
NOT THAT WE'RE PODS.
374
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:20,549
BUT ABOUT SHARON BEING HAPPY.
375
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,117
TED IS PERFECT FOR HER.
376
00:17:22,141 --> 00:17:24,575
I ALWAYS KNEW SOMEDAY
WE'D LOSE SHARON.
377
00:17:24,610 --> 00:17:28,312
I JUST DIDN'T THINK
IT'D BE THIS SOON.
378
00:17:28,347 --> 00:17:31,615
WE'RE GONNA HAVE
TO BE... DON'T SAY IT!
379
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:32,616
MATURE.
380
00:17:32,651 --> 00:17:34,218
OH, YOU SAID IT.
381
00:17:34,253 --> 00:17:35,486
ALL RIGHT, HERE THEY COME.
382
00:17:35,522 --> 00:17:37,755
LET'S NOT SCREW THIS UP FOR HER.
383
00:17:37,790 --> 00:17:38,756
ALL RIGHT.
384
00:17:38,791 --> 00:17:39,757
FOR SHARON.
385
00:17:39,792 --> 00:17:41,258
FOR SHARON.
386
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:44,328
HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE!
387
00:17:44,363 --> 00:17:45,329
SHAR! TED!
388
00:17:45,364 --> 00:17:46,330
HEY, GUYS.
389
00:17:46,365 --> 00:17:47,431
HEY, GOOD TO SEE YA.
390
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:49,078
YOU SHOULD SEE THIS
GUY UNCLOG A WINDPIPE.
391
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,501
I HEARD.
392
00:17:50,536 --> 00:17:52,848
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
DRINKING MARTINIS?
393
00:17:52,872 --> 00:17:56,740
HEY, CAN WE GET YOU
GUYS SOMETHING TO EAT?
394
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,509
BILL! [SNAPS FINGERS]
395
00:18:00,346 --> 00:18:02,613
YOU DID NOT JUST SNAP AT ME!
396
00:18:04,950 --> 00:18:07,296
NO. ACTUALLY, WE'RE
ON OUR WAY TO VERMONT.
397
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:09,097
YEAH. TED SURPRISED ME.
398
00:18:09,121 --> 00:18:10,087
TED! TED!
399
00:18:10,122 --> 00:18:11,132
WOULD YOU GUYS WATER MY PLANTS?
400
00:18:11,156 --> 00:18:15,159
I AM SO WATERING YOUR PLANTS.
401
00:18:15,194 --> 00:18:16,160
THANK YOU.
402
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:18,173
WELL, WE SHOULD GET GOING.
403
00:18:18,197 --> 00:18:20,164
OK. BYE.
404
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,332
WAIT, WAIT.
405
00:18:21,367 --> 00:18:26,737
BEFORE YOU GO, TED, I
GOTTA TELL YOU SOMETHING.
406
00:18:26,772 --> 00:18:30,941
THIS IS ONE GREAT
GIRL... I KNOW.
407
00:18:30,976 --> 00:18:34,545
AND YOU TWO MAKE
SUCH A GREAT COUPLE.
408
00:18:34,580 --> 00:18:36,179
LISTEN TO THIS MAN.
409
00:18:36,215 --> 00:18:38,149
THANKS, GUYS.
410
00:18:38,184 --> 00:18:39,817
AND YOU TWO...
411
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,965
WE HAVE A REAL FEELING.
412
00:18:42,989 --> 00:18:44,155
YEAH.
413
00:18:44,190 --> 00:18:48,959
AND SHE IS GOING TO
MAKE A GREAT MOM.
414
00:18:48,994 --> 00:18:51,596
WHOA!
415
00:18:51,631 --> 00:18:55,365
PETE... COME ON,
SHAR. YOU FEED US,
416
00:18:55,401 --> 00:18:56,667
YOU KEEP OUR HEAT ON,
417
00:18:56,702 --> 00:18:58,202
YOU TUCK US IN AT NIGHT.
418
00:18:58,237 --> 00:18:59,637
JUST KIDDING, TED.
419
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:03,440
AND IF YOUR KIDS AREN'T
BLOND, SOMEBODY'S CHEATING.
420
00:19:03,475 --> 00:19:05,876
I KID, TOO.
421
00:19:05,911 --> 00:19:07,511
OK. BYE, YOU GUYS.
422
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:09,780
GET OUTTA HERE,
YOU TWO. DRIVE SAFE.
423
00:19:09,815 --> 00:19:11,249
WE'LL GO OUT WHEN YOU GET BACK.
424
00:19:11,284 --> 00:19:14,518
OH, AND, TED... NEXT
TIME, DRINKS ON SHARON.
425
00:19:14,554 --> 00:19:16,554
HA! YOU GOT IT!
426
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:21,224
TELL YOU, BERG, WE
ARE SUCH GOOD GUYS.
427
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:23,060
I AM SO PROUD OF US.
428
00:19:26,299 --> 00:19:31,034
LOOK AT US... FRIDGE IS
STOCKED, CLOTHES ARE CLEAN,
429
00:19:31,070 --> 00:19:33,537
AND TUESDAY, THE
GAS COMES BACK ON.
430
00:19:33,573 --> 00:19:35,506
BECAUSE I GOT STAMPS...
431
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,641
"LEGENDS OF THE RODEO."
432
00:19:37,676 --> 00:19:41,745
A 32-CENT SALUTE
TO A BYGONE ERA.
433
00:19:41,780 --> 00:19:43,647
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
434
00:19:46,886 --> 00:19:47,963
SHARON! WHAT HAPPENED?
435
00:19:47,987 --> 00:19:49,565
WHY ARE YOU BACK SO SOON?
436
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,121
GIMME MY KEYS. I'M GOING TO BED.
437
00:19:51,156 --> 00:19:52,400
WHAT'S WRONG? WHERE'S TED?
438
00:19:52,424 --> 00:19:55,626
AT HOME, THANKS TO THE
FATHERS OF THE BRIDE.
439
00:19:55,661 --> 00:19:56,771
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
440
00:19:56,795 --> 00:19:58,073
WE WERE ON OUR BEST BEHAVIOR.
441
00:19:58,097 --> 00:20:03,133
WELL, AFTER YOU GUYS GAVE
ME AWAY AT THE PIZZA PLACE...
442
00:20:03,169 --> 00:20:06,470
WE GOT ON THE ROAD, AND...
HE JUST STARTS TALKING TO ME
443
00:20:06,505 --> 00:20:08,872
ABOUT FLYING TO NORTH
CAROLINA TO MEET HIS PARENTS.
444
00:20:08,908 --> 00:20:11,408
I MEAN, TALKING CHURCHES,
GOOD SCHOOL DISTRICTS.
445
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:15,713
I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA PULL OVER
AND REGISTER AT CRATE AND BARREL.
446
00:20:15,748 --> 00:20:18,783
SO THANKS A LOT. I HAD A
PERFECTLY GOOD BOYFRIEND,
447
00:20:18,818 --> 00:20:21,885
AND YOU HAD TO GO AND
TURN HIM INTO A HUSBAND.
448
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,186
WE WERE BEING MATURE.
449
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,789
WELL, I'M NOT
READY TO BE MATURE.
450
00:20:25,824 --> 00:20:29,727
I'M NOT DONE BEING
FRIENDS WITH YOU GUYS YET.
451
00:20:29,762 --> 00:20:31,840
WELL, ISN'T THAT
WHAT YOU WANTED...
452
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:32,941
THE HOUSE, THE KIDS?
453
00:20:32,965 --> 00:20:37,368
YEAH, EVENTUALLY, BUT NOT NOW.
454
00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,103
SO IT'S OVER?
455
00:20:39,138 --> 00:20:40,704
YEAH.
456
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:41,839
YOU KNOW,
457
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:44,519
I FINALLY FIND A
GUY I REALLY LIKE,
458
00:20:44,543 --> 00:20:46,209
AND HE OVER COMMITS.
459
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:50,381
WAIT A SECOND. JUICE, EGGS...
460
00:20:50,416 --> 00:20:52,416
YOU GUYS HAVE FOOD!
461
00:20:53,419 --> 00:20:56,220
WOW! I'M IMPRESSED.
462
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:59,356
AND WE'RE GETTING
THE GAS BACK ON.
463
00:20:59,391 --> 00:21:02,526
HEY, YOU GUYS WANNA GO
UP AND WATCH BIG-SCREEN TV?
464
00:21:02,562 --> 00:21:04,328
ONE SEC.
465
00:21:08,100 --> 00:21:10,500
YEAH, BUT YOU GOTTA
LOSE THE SCARF.
466
00:21:15,374 --> 00:21:16,807
YOU KNOW WHAT?
467
00:21:16,842 --> 00:21:18,576
WE'RE GONNA HOLD
ONTO THIS FOR YOU.
468
00:21:18,611 --> 00:21:21,412
YOU MAY WANT IT
AGAIN DOWN THE ROAD.
469
00:21:22,881 --> 00:21:26,483
Shoes: 26 MILES.
YOU'RE A WINNER!
470
00:21:26,518 --> 00:21:28,518
I'M A WINNER.
471
00:21:28,554 --> 00:21:29,686
THAT'S IT.
472
00:21:29,722 --> 00:21:33,557
PETE, DON'T! PETE, GET
A HOLD OF YOURSELF!
473
00:21:33,592 --> 00:21:35,025
COME ON!
474
00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:36,260
DON'T!
475
00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,034
[KNOCK KNOCK]
476
00:21:47,373 --> 00:21:49,673
TURNER! HOOCH!
477
00:21:49,709 --> 00:21:51,208
YOU'RE HOME!
478
00:21:51,243 --> 00:21:55,546
PETE, LOOK WHO'S HERE.
479
00:21:55,581 --> 00:21:57,648
DON'T YOU HAVE SOMETHING
YOU WANNA SAY TO THEM?
480
00:21:57,683 --> 00:22:01,318
SORRY, GUYS. COME ON IN.
481
00:22:04,318 --> 00:22:08,318
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