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1
00:00:02,393 --> 00:00:03,654
♪ You know what it's like
to be nameless ♪
2
00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:05,178
♪ Want them to know
what your name is ♪
3
00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,354
♪ When I grow up,
I wanna be famous ♪
4
00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,312
♪ I wanna be a star,
I wanna be in movies ♪
5
00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,445
♪ When I grow up,
I wanna see the world ♪
6
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,316
♪ Drive nice cars,
I wanna have groupies ♪
7
00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,318
Babe, we did it!
Oh, my God, okay.
8
00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,580
Here's another one. You ready?
- Yeah.
9
00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,495
"VICE Magazine,"
"'Based on a True Story, '
10
00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:19,670
"real or hoax?
11
00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:20,758
The podcast that's
gripped the nation."
12
00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:21,933
- Holy shit.
- [gasps]
13
00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,326
- Keep going.
- Yep, we got one
14
00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,285
from BuzzFeed:
"Top ten moments you can't miss
15
00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,156
from 'Based on a True Story.'"
16
00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,158
- Love you, BuzzFeed.
- Another amazing one.
17
00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,290
"New York Times Magazine,"
18
00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,987
"Bill Kristol
and Noam Chomsky debate,
19
00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:34,772
'What does "Based on a True
Story" say about America?'"
20
00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,470
It says, the best...
21
00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,341
country ever!
- Oh, my God.
22
00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:41,344
Charli D'Amelio tweeted
"My new favorite obsession!
23
00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,172
#basedonatruestory!"
24
00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,695
- Who's Charli D'Amelio?
- I loved her
25
00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,349
from "Dancing with the Stars."
She won last year...
26
00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,481
- Okay.
- But she also has, like,
27
00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,396
150 million followers on TikTok,
28
00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,006
so we are fucking viral, babe!
[cell phone rings]
29
00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:52,355
Uh-oh, look who's callin' here.
30
00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,314
Okay.
Hey, you see the Daily Beast?
31
00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,098
[dramatically]
Who is the voice
32
00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,144
of "Based on a True Story"?
33
00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,059
Can you believe that?
34
00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,148
Man, we are everywhere.
35
00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,497
Right?
36
00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,759
How far away are you?
37
00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,327
I'm just on Sunset.
I'll see you soon.
38
00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:08,806
♪ 'Cause see,
when I was younger ♪
39
00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,808
- Why did she invite him?
- I don't know.
40
00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,115
It's like, if I know someone,
she has to know them too.
41
00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,595
My friend has to be her friend.
42
00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,336
If I have a plumber, she has
to have the same plumber.
43
00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,120
It's like, fuck off.
- Yeah.
44
00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,427
This is gonna be
a fucking great party.
45
00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,385
♪ Be careful
what you wish for ♪
46
00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,431
♪ 'Cause you just
might get it ♪
47
00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:28,739
- ♪ Hey
- ♪ You just might get it
48
00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,001
[laughing]
49
00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,394
- All right.
- Hi, guys.
50
00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,005
- Wow.
- Welcome. Hi.
51
00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,572
- Beautiful in here.
- Oh, thank you.
52
00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,705
You look amazing. You're huge.
- Thank you.
53
00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,185
Uh...
- Hi.
54
00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,143
- Hi, girls.
- So good to see you.
55
00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,711
- You guys look gorgeous.
- This dress...
56
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,539
- Cut two dresses...
- Stop.
57
00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,018
- And put it together.
- No, you did not.
58
00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,150
- Hi!
- Tory!
59
00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,282
- Hi, sis.
- Hello.
60
00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,718
Little kid.
61
00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:51,719
You need a sweater.
62
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,286
- Oh, hi.
- No, let it all out.
63
00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,897
- How was school?
- I just graduated.
64
00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:58,508
- You look smarter.
- Looking for a place to stay,
65
00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,771
you know, before baby comes
and kicks me out.
66
00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,338
Oh, my God,
no one is kicking you out.
67
00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:03,861
Is there food yet?
- Yeah, inside.
68
00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,602
- Bye.
- Hi.
69
00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,865
- Who's your date?
- [gasps] Tinder guy.
70
00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:10,825
Uh, no, actually, Bumble guy. Jacob.
71
00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,087
Another fuckfest.
72
00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,958
Oh, no,
it's, like, a little early.
73
00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,438
- Is it?
- Alcohol?
74
00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:16,570
- Mm-hmm, yes.
- Yeah.
75
00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,006
- Yes, yes.
- I see this.
76
00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:18,964
- Bye.
- Holding hands.
77
00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:20,183
Intimate.
78
00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,185
I used to hate these things.
79
00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,578
I always got outbid.
80
00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,232
Not anymore, babe.
- Not anymore.
81
00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,537
Look at this watch.
82
00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:29,496
Ten-day vacation...
Four Seasons in Maui.
83
00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,280
Ooh, I like that one.
84
00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,152
- What else we got here?
- A little wine tasting
85
00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,762
at home?
That would be nice too.
86
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,242
A brick.
87
00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,635
- What is that?
- "A single brick salvaged
88
00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,812
from the last Manhattan
residence of Edgar Allan Poe"?
89
00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,032
A creepy brick owned
by a horror writer?
90
00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:46,208
I have to have that.
- Early anniversary present?
91
00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,471
- [exclaims] That is so mine.
- It's gonna be yours, baby.
92
00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,907
- It also works as a weapon.
- Hey, it's my two
93
00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,301
favorite people.
94
00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,607
- Hey, Matt.
- Hey.
95
00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:56,305
- Hey, Michelle.
- Hey. [laughs lightly]
96
00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:58,307
I didn't know you were coming.
97
00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:59,743
- Well, surprise.
- Yay. [laughs]
98
00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,354
- [laughs] Yeah.
- Great. Yeah.
99
00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,618
And it's great that you guys...
Um, how are you?
100
00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,969
You know what?
We are awesome.
101
00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:11,320
Yeah, and we have Nathan
to thank because he set us up.
102
00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,756
- Yeah.
- Oh, I... no, I didn't.
103
00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,410
I... I definitely didn't
set you up.
104
00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,804
No, no, you did.
You did, remember?
105
00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:17,935
I... I said he was hot,
106
00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:20,721
and then you said
he was good people.
107
00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,157
Buddy, thanks.
108
00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,724
I owe you.
- I didn't...
109
00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,509
Good people?
[laughs drily]
110
00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,859
Oop, excuse me.
111
00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,948
Thank you so much.
112
00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,342
Oh, my God,
these canapes are amazing.
113
00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:35,126
Ugh, I know.
I've had, like, 17 of them.
114
00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,346
- [sighs]
- Uh...
115
00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,522
[light ambient music]
116
00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,177
Uh... [scoffs]
Carlos is here.
117
00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,048
Mm, mm-hmm.
118
00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,007
Yeah.
119
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,704
You invited Carlos?
120
00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,793
Yes.
I want all my friends here.
121
00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,273
Oh, my God.
You invite him to, like,
122
00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,362
socialize too?
123
00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,016
Well, this is the first one,
124
00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,365
but Simon doesn't care.
125
00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,758
- Hey.
- See?
126
00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:58,759
All good.
127
00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,500
You guys are so fucking weird.
128
00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,893
[indistinct chatter]
129
00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,374
Hey, guys.
130
00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,376
Bring it in.
131
00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,248
Look at these new numbers.
132
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,554
15 million downloads.
133
00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,121
That's a lot of fuckin' money.
134
00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,514
Yeah, that's a lot of money.
135
00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:15,385
- Like, a million dollars.
- Can you believe that?
136
00:04:15,386 --> 00:04:16,733
Can you believe that?
137
00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:19,083
Yeah, but you know
what the next question is?
138
00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,476
How do we make it bigger?
139
00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:22,261
Okay, let's just enjoy
this moment.
140
00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,566
We gotta push it. Look.
141
00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,351
I went on a bit
of a deep dive on Reddit.
142
00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,875
Okay, 24% of our fans,
143
00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,094
they want me to keep talking
about my greatest hits
144
00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,575
over and over
like I'm Billy fucking Joel,
145
00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,491
but 76%, guess what they want?
146
00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,406
- Don't say it.
- Fresh new content,
147
00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,407
motherfuckers.
Both: No.
148
00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:39,756
- No.
- Yeah. Yeah.
149
00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:40,844
We're not talking
about that anymore.
150
00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,106
- They said it.
- Faking it worked
151
00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,369
pretty good in Vegas.
152
00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,327
The fake was great.
It was great.
153
00:04:44,328 --> 00:04:45,632
It was a one-time thing.
154
00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:46,633
- How 'bout a two-time thing?
- It was great.
155
00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,548
- Why?
- No, we've gotten listen
156
00:04:47,549 --> 00:04:49,723
to our 15-million fanbase,
157
00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,290
and we gotta keep it real
for them.
158
00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,726
Okay, listen to this.
159
00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,076
Spotify is talking about
a $20-million deal with us.
160
00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,512
- Yeah.
- So how 'bout that's keeping
161
00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,906
shit real, bro?
- That's keeping it real real,
162
00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,603
so just keep your shit together,
163
00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,040
don't fuck it up,
and just keep cool.
164
00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,346
Offer's comin' in any minute.
165
00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,478
We're all gonna be rich.
166
00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,131
Okay. Great.
167
00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,698
- Got it?
- I got it, yeah.
168
00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:11,006
- Don't fuck this up.
- Okay, don't fuck it up.
169
00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:17,533
[ominous music]
170
00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:24,715
♪
171
00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:39,339
[line trilling]
172
00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,519
Yeah?
173
00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,522
[gasping]
174
00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:53,570
♪
175
00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,400
Okay, ready?
Oh, good catch.
176
00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,098
Good boy.
Come here. Come here.
177
00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,275
Come here, boy,
you handsome boy.
178
00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,975
Ooh. [laughing]
Oh, good catch.
179
00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,716
Oh, Duke is such a handsome boy.
180
00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,457
Come here.
- Hey.
181
00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,459
Do you wanna try
this edible flower?
182
00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,287
Do you think
we could get the dog back?
183
00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,115
Uh, sorry, what?
[laughs]
184
00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,465
Are you kidding?
- I just... I...
185
00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,467
- [laughing]
- I'm really feeling like
186
00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,903
he wants to come home.
187
00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,427
Okay, babe.
We gave them the dog.
188
00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,429
You can't ask for something
like that back.
189
00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,996
That's insane.
- We gave him the dog
190
00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:30,650
because our yard was too small.
191
00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:31,651
- Yes.
- But that's about
192
00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:32,652
to fucking change.
193
00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,044
We're gonna have a huge yard.
194
00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,481
He should come home.
195
00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,873
I mean, look...
Look at the way he's...
196
00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,745
He throws the ball
like such a pussy.
197
00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,224
He's like...
- Anybody see that?
198
00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,096
It is kind of a lame throw.
199
00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,837
- Right? Just like...
- Yeah, but that doesn't mean
200
00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,012
you can steal the dog back.
201
00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,057
Good catch, Duke!
202
00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,189
His name is McEnroe.
203
00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,017
It's not Duke, and he knows it.
204
00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:51,584
You gotta let it go, okay?
205
00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:52,846
We can't ask for the dog back.
206
00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:55,675
Okay, fine.
We'll buy him back.
207
00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:58,068
[sighs] You know how much
Simon loves this dog?
208
00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,940
He does. He's obsessed.
- [laughs]
209
00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,855
He sleeps in the guesthouse
with him.
210
00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,423
Do you think I give a shit?
211
00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,469
Hey, pal.
212
00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,558
It's us.
He's look... he's looking at...
213
00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,864
- Babe, he's not looking at us.
- He's looking at us.
214
00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,648
No, he's not.
You can't take something
215
00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:13,649
like that away.
- Hey.
216
00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,694
That's... that's nuts.
217
00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:15,825
Yeah, um, can I...
218
00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,000
Can I grab you for a second?
I just...
219
00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,219
- Yeah.
- I need a hand.
220
00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:21,091
Yes. Please don't
steal the dog, okay?
221
00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,789
Come here, Duke.
Come to me. Come to me.
222
00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,355
Oh, come here. Good catch.
223
00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:26,836
Good boy.
Come here. Come here.
224
00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,447
Okay, Duke.
225
00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,752
Go get it.
226
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,841
Oh, good catch.
You're such a handsome boy.
227
00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,104
Bring it back. Bring it back.
228
00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:47,291
Just love this room!
229
00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,250
It's so beautiful.
Where are the party favors?
230
00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,817
You hiding them up here?
- Ava...
231
00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,253
Also, you have no pictures.
232
00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,734
It's really weird.
- Hey, are you okay?
233
00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,910
What?
234
00:07:56,911 --> 00:08:00,130
[curious music]
235
00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,523
What... what is that?
236
00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,394
[laughs]
- I don't know. You tell me.
237
00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:05,440
I saw it fall out
of your pocket at CrimeCon.
238
00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:08,661
I've... I've never seen that
before in my life.
239
00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:10,097
You've never seen this before
in your life?
240
00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,228
- No.
- Ever?
241
00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:12,752
- No.
- Okay.
242
00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:16,146
"WTF? You killed Dahlia?
243
00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,626
"You made a podcast without us?
244
00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:20,500
Meet us outside
in the corridor now."
245
00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,546
You're "Based on a True Story,"
aren't you?
246
00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:25,678
The... [laughs]
247
00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:28,419
"Based on a"...
The... the... the podcast?
248
00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,117
Ava, I-I just...
I wanna help you.
249
00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,248
Are you in danger?
- No.
250
00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,033
Because I... I called the number
251
00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,164
on this phone,
and Matt answered.
252
00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,427
I don't... no. What?
253
00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:38,778
He's the Westside
fucking Ripper, isn't he?
254
00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,301
What is going on?
255
00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,824
- Okay...
- Why... why are you doing this?
256
00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,173
Is... is he threatening you...
- It's not what you think.
257
00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:44,479
- Or Nathan?
- Oh, my God, no.
258
00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,699
It's not...
It's not like that at all.
259
00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,614
No? Then what is it?
Because it says right here
260
00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,311
that he killed
that girl in Vegas.
261
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,139
Okay, is that why
you invited Matt tonight?
262
00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,444
So you could ask me about this?
263
00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,142
I mean, I invited him
to find out
264
00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:56,796
if he's the guy so I...
So I could help you,
265
00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,580
but if you don't want my help,
I'll just go to the cops with...
266
00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,103
No, no, no. No, no, no.
No, no, no, no, no.
267
00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:02,192
There's no... we don't need to...
Let's just all calm down.
268
00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:03,629
No cops.
You don't need to call anybody.
269
00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,805
Oh, fuck. Okay.
I'm gonna tell you the truth.
270
00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,459
Okay?
- Okay.
271
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,113
Nathan and I are broke.
272
00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,246
We... we were gonna lose
the house.
273
00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,682
- What?
- I know, and Matt was over,
274
00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,336
and we started talking,
and it turns out
275
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:18,513
he's a... he's this, like,
crime fanatic junkie like us.
276
00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:22,865
So the three of us decided
to make a fake podcast
277
00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:26,696
where Matt pretends
to be the Westside Ripper.
278
00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:33,528
So Matt is pretending
to be a serial killer?
279
00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:34,877
I know.
When you say it like that,
280
00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,009
it sounds really bad, but...
281
00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,620
It-it's so bad and...
And fucked up.
282
00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,622
I know it sounds like that,
but we were desperate,
283
00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,624
desperate,
completely desperate, and...
284
00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,844
And then Matt, like,
he got, like, really into it,
285
00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,628
and he pretended he was the guy
286
00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,151
that pushed that girl
off the roof.
287
00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,544
And people got obsessed.
288
00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,807
They couldn't get enough of it.
289
00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:54,984
So you're saying
that all of this is... is fake
290
00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,203
and that guy's just a plumber?
291
00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,292
- Yes!
- Because this looks
292
00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,902
pretty fucking real to me.
293
00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,121
Well, good.
294
00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:03,645
We... [laughs] We got you.
295
00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:04,733
That's good.
296
00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:05,952
That... [splutters]
297
00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,693
Come on.
298
00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,825
Do you think
that I would be in business
299
00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:12,393
with a real serial killer?
300
00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:15,396
I mean, you sound insane.
301
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:18,051
That would be the biggest
fucking stupidest thing
302
00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,705
I could do, right?
303
00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,490
Right?
304
00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,231
- Yeah.
- Right.
305
00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,580
Please don't tell anybody.
306
00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:28,801
Truly, like, I...
I literally dragged Nathan
307
00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:30,280
into this shit show.
308
00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:31,760
There's a baby coming.
309
00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,545
Our lives could be over.
310
00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:35,765
Please.
311
00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:41,161
Okay.
Yeah, no, no, no. I... I...
312
00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,249
I won't say a word.
313
00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,077
[sighs] Thank you.
314
00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,514
Thank you.
- Wow. [laughs]
315
00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:49,604
I got to admit, this is...
This is kind of genius.
316
00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:52,128
"Based on a True Story"
is based on a fake story.
317
00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,217
- I know.
- I-I wish I'd thought of it.
318
00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,785
Yeah. Well, yeah.
Well, yeah. Mm-hmm.
319
00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,135
Thank you.
320
00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,702
[sighs]
- I got your back.
321
00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:03,923
- Thank you. Okay. Okay.
- Let's go back outside.
322
00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,969
Duke, Duke. Duke.
323
00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:07,970
Duke.
- McEnroe. See?
324
00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,406
He likes McEnroe. McEnroe.
325
00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:10,930
McEnroe, right there.
326
00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,061
[The Cowsills' "The Rain,
the Park, Other Things"]
327
00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,454
Good boy.
328
00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,151
Yes! Come on, buddy.
329
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,849
- Come here. Come here.
- Come on, buddy.
330
00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:20,722
♪ She sat there
and smiled at me ♪
331
00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,637
Come to me, Duke.
Come to me, Duke.
332
00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,552
[laughs]
333
00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:25,640
Good boy.
334
00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:26,989
♪ Make me happy
335
00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,338
Ready? Go.
- Okay.
336
00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,514
I... I got it.
Okay, here we go.
337
00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:31,864
Go get it.
[dog barks]
338
00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:32,822
Here boy. Come on.
339
00:11:32,823 --> 00:11:35,432
[both calling]
340
00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,173
Here, boy. Come on.
- Duke.
341
00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,522
- Hey, hey.
- Come on.
342
00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,220
Bring it to me.
Bring it to me, to me.
343
00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,439
Me, me.
- McEnroe, look at me.
344
00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,833
Come here, pal. Come here, pal.
345
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:45,965
Look at me. Come here.
346
00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,575
Bring it to me. To me.
- Duke. Duke!
347
00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,229
♪ She seemed so sweet
and kind ♪
348
00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,492
[laughing] Come to me, Duke.
Come to me.
349
00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:54,103
Come to me.
Come to me, Duke.
350
00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,453
Yay... oh!
351
00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:58,760
Aah!
[people screaming]
352
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,763
[screaming]
353
00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:04,157
[tense music]
354
00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,245
Help! Help!
355
00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:08,727
[continues screaming]
356
00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:15,691
♪
357
00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,913
I'm gonna getcha outta here.
358
00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,871
♪ I turned around
and she was gone ♪
359
00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:26,048
- ♪ Where did she go?
- ♪ And all I had left
360
00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:29,400
♪ Was one little flower
in my hand ♪
361
00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,925
♪ But I knew
- ♪ I knew, I knew
362
00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:36,319
♪ I knew, I knew
- ♪ She had made me happy
363
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,581
- ♪ Happy
- ♪ Happy
364
00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,018
♪ She had made me
very happy ♪
365
00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:42,586
- ♪ Flowers in her hair
- ♪ Hair
366
00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,110
♪ Flowers everywhere
367
00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,459
- McEnroe.
- Duke.
368
00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,852
- McEnroe.
- Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
369
00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,244
- Bring it to me.
- Come to me. Come to me, Duke.
370
00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,637
Duke!
- Look at me.
371
00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,638
- Come to me. Come to me.
- McEnroe.
372
00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,205
Come to me.
Yeah, yeah.
373
00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,206
Oh! Oh, don't...
- Good boy.
374
00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:56,209
[somber music]
375
00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,688
♪
376
00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,342
Hey.
377
00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,170
Hi. Hi.
378
00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,390
You good?
379
00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:06,045
Um, yes.
380
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,829
Yes, I'm good.
381
00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,571
Everybody, please
take a seat inside.
382
00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:13,531
Dinner first,
and then the auction.
383
00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,447
Yeah, he likes me
so much better than Simon.
384
00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:20,537
- I know.
- Let's get that fuckin' brick.
385
00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:24,150
Hey, did you call me before?
386
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,065
Uh, it was a butt-dial, sorry.
387
00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,718
- Really?
- Yep.
388
00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,372
Where's the trust, partner?
389
00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,636
[tense music]
390
00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:36,118
The same caterer did my...
Our wedding.
391
00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,207
- I didn't know that.
- Uh-huh.
392
00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,948
That's right.
- Yeah.
393
00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:40,993
Hm?
[dog whines]
394
00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,037
- Absolutely.
- It's great.
395
00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,038
- Okay.
- I wish he would take
396
00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:43,997
an interest in my...
- I mean...
397
00:13:43,998 --> 00:13:45,214
[indistinct chatter]
398
00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,434
[laughs]
399
00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,740
- You tried your cake?
- No.
400
00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:50,872
Goodness. [gasps]
401
00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:51,873
Thank you.
402
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,396
Nice to see you.
403
00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,051
So are you a part
of the crew now?
404
00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,748
Hey, did you crush
those midterms?
405
00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,186
Yeah, I'm going
to UCLA Law in the fall.
406
00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:02,492
- Oh, my God. Congrats.
- Yeah, thanks.
407
00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,059
So we're gonna see
a lot more of you.
408
00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,105
- Yeah, a whole lot more.
- Awesome.
409
00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,107
"Crushed those midterms"?
410
00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,283
So a sign of the times,
I tried to put an ad
411
00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:13,634
on that hot true crime podcast,
"Based on a True Story."
412
00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:14,853
- Hot.
- Brilliant.
413
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,028
Such a hot show.
414
00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:18,030
- Is that not a genius idea?
- Right?
415
00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,553
- Yeah.
- Amazing.
416
00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,120
- Brilliant.
- Yeah.
417
00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:22,861
- I love that.
- Oh, my gosh, it gets me hot.
418
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,123
- So brilliant.
- It's so good.
419
00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,515
- I think it's fake.
- Oh, yeah?
420
00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:28,214
Yeah, like, the, um...
The Orson Welles thing?
421
00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:29,389
Uh, "War of the Worlds"?
422
00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,478
It could be just street theater.
423
00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,610
Absolutely not.
Are you kidding me?
424
00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:34,916
You heard this guy's voice?
425
00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,570
That's a stabby voice.
426
00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,964
- What?
- I buy it 100%.
427
00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,661
That guy is the killer.
- Mm.
428
00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,098
- You should just ask them.
- There's no chance.
429
00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,666
- [gasps] Yeah.
- You never talk to anybody.
430
00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,928
- Oh.
- No, you...
431
00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,017
You email a shell corporation.
432
00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,584
You pay them in crypto.
433
00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:54,240
Nobody knows where they are
or who they are.
434
00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,807
- Wow.
- I wouldn't pay them a cent.
435
00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,680
Paul, the guy is killing people.
436
00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,464
Okay, Richard.
437
00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:05,294
Last time I checked, there is
still free speech in America.
438
00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,601
Okay, even if that speech
is about
439
00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,081
how you just killed someone?
440
00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,430
Yeah, especially then.
441
00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,954
You... you wanna outlaw
offensive speech?
442
00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,651
Who decides
what goes on the list?
443
00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,175
Me? You?
444
00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,959
I listen to it, and I think
445
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,961
it's totally fucking disgusting.
446
00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,702
I think that you're right.
447
00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,312
I think that it's all true.
448
00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,966
I think he's a serial killer.
449
00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,837
And I think the people
that are helping him
450
00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,448
are far worse than he is.
451
00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,363
- Oh. What people?
- Preach, sister.
452
00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,668
- There's an interviewer.
- Hm?
453
00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,192
- Don't say that.
- Right? I mean, somebody...
454
00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,628
- No, that's not your word.
- Has to be helping him.
455
00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:38,110
The Westside Ripper has
some kind of brain defect,
456
00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,634
but these parasites are
making money off of him.
457
00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,636
They should go to prison
longer than he does.
458
00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,899
- [coughs]
- That's a very good point.
459
00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,161
No, they really should.
460
00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,033
Think about it.
- Mm.
461
00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,426
I don't know. I...
462
00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,646
There's nothing wrong
with makin' money.
463
00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,865
I love money. You love money.
464
00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,389
You love money.
465
00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:57,868
Money's great.
466
00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:59,174
Puts food on the table,
467
00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,176
puts our kids through school.
468
00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,309
Carlos loves money.
Right?
469
00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:04,614
What?
470
00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,877
Can't open your gym
on the East Coast
471
00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,097
without money, right?
472
00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,360
Uh, it certainly
would help, yeah.
473
00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:14,320
Mm, guys, I think it's time
474
00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,539
to start bidding
on the items, right?
475
00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,802
I just wanna say
I love Carlos' business plan.
476
00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:21,109
- Oh, my God.
- And I...
477
00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,545
I want to invest in it.
478
00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:25,548
Wait, you... you want
to invest in my gym?
479
00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:29,726
Yeah, I want to finance
the whole thing by myself.
480
00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,032
[unsettling music]
481
00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,207
- Well, that's...
- [laughs]
482
00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,469
Wait, are you serious?
483
00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,731
100%.
484
00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:35,732
- Great.
- Yeah?
485
00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:36,864
When do we start?
486
00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,735
♪
487
00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,694
[dishes clatter]
- Now.
488
00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,696
- [laughs]
- What?
489
00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,567
[sharply] Now.
490
00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,873
Like, right now.
491
00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,006
Immediately.
492
00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,659
Immediately?
493
00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,052
[laughs] He's joking.
494
00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:53,098
He's just...
495
00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,361
Go pack a bag,
496
00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:56,840
go to LAX,
497
00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:59,626
get on the red-eye,
go to New York, get to work.
498
00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,194
It's gonna take
a couple of years.
499
00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,022
I'm gonna need you there
the whole time
500
00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,633
overseeing construction,
the plans,
501
00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:10,158
and you're not gonna be able
to come back here ever.
502
00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:15,598
♪
503
00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:18,079
Why you doing this?
504
00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,560
Hm?
- Hm?
505
00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,692
Why are you doing this
right now?
506
00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:23,998
Is it 'cause I invited him?
507
00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,914
[laughs] What?
508
00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,437
I believe in Carlos.
509
00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,613
I like Carlos' business plan.
510
00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,747
Unless there's something
that Carlos loves
511
00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:36,967
more than money here in LA.
512
00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,143
Then he should stay.
513
00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:41,450
♪
514
00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,452
Okay.
515
00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:47,239
I just transferred you $250,000.
516
00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,197
- [gasps]
- What?
517
00:17:48,198 --> 00:17:50,155
[phone chimes]
518
00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:53,158
[music darkens]
519
00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,290
♪
520
00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,726
When I get my investment back,
521
00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,337
we'll go 50/50.
522
00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:01,166
If it works out, I'll finance
a national rollout,
523
00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:04,169
but you gotta go right now.
524
00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:11,568
♪
525
00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,135
[whispers]
You don't have to go.
526
00:18:13,136 --> 00:18:16,050
Babe, please, stay for me.
527
00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,530
You gotta go, Carlos.
528
00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:19,880
♪
529
00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,100
I'm sorry.
530
00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:23,971
- [gasps]
- Oh.
531
00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:27,106
[indistinct whispers]
532
00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:34,677
[door shuts]
533
00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,855
Are you fucking insane?
534
00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:43,077
♪
535
00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,210
Why would you do that?
536
00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,691
Why the fuck do you even care?
537
00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,041
[scoffs]
538
00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,783
- God.
- [clears throat]
539
00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:55,220
Hey, buddy.
540
00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,786
You got
some interesting friends.
541
00:18:56,787 --> 00:19:00,181
Okay, let's help
some teen runaways!
542
00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,878
[crying]
543
00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:04,098
Oh, my God.
544
00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,969
I cannot believe that happened.
545
00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,449
[soft dramatic music]
546
00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,450
You okay?
547
00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,017
I know you really loved Carlos.
548
00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,540
Oh, fuck Carlos.
549
00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,281
[sniffles]
I never loved Carlos,
550
00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:16,458
but fuck him for leaving.
551
00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:20,070
Well, I mean, we all know
you're gonna be just fine.
552
00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:21,985
- Will I?
- Yes.
553
00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:24,901
'Cause I feel like
I'm pretty fucked right now.
554
00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:28,949
Ava, look at my life right now.
555
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,516
Take a good look.
556
00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,909
You gotta let me in
on the podcast.
557
00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,608
Okay? It's... it's literally
all that I got.
558
00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,610
♪
559
00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,916
Okay, uh, maybe we should
talk about this another time.
560
00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,962
No, no, no, 'cause...
'cause I can help you.
561
00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:44,182
You know, you... you know
I'm great with marketing.
562
00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,749
Right? And branding,
and I know this world.
563
00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,187
And we're the "Wine Crime"
girls, right?
564
00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,710
- Yeah, I can't do this.
- Oh, well, I...
565
00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,625
Because do you remember
that guy...
566
00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,540
That guy that I had
a thing with in Cabo last year?
567
00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,020
'Cause he's huge at Wondery,
568
00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:58,152
and... and he's married,
569
00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,545
so he definitely owes me
a solid.
570
00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:01,721
I can get him to make us
a preemptive offer,
571
00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:04,419
you know, probably
a really, really big one.
572
00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,073
- Oh, my God.
- Yes.
573
00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:10,425
So some guy is gonna make us
a multimillion-dollar offer
574
00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,253
because he went down on you
in Cabo?
575
00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,169
Yeah, that is
how the world works.
576
00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,040
How do you not know that?
577
00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,825
Okay, just trust me.
578
00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,914
You shouldn't get involved
in this 'cause it's a mess.
579
00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,263
Okay, hold on.
580
00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:23,438
Don't come at me like
you're my friend now.
581
00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,005
- What?
- No, I know exactly
582
00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,572
what's going on.
583
00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:29,314
I mean, I know
Matt's the killer.
584
00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,664
I have no fucking idea
what you're talking about.
585
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,143
Okay.
586
00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,710
So if I took Matt's wine glass
587
00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,451
and took it down
to the police station,
588
00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:39,802
you're telling me that his DNA
wouldn't be an exact match
589
00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,282
to the Westside Ripper?
590
00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:44,459
[foreboding music]
591
00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,505
If you tell a single person
about this,
592
00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:49,290
I will fucking end you.
593
00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,901
But I already told Simon.
594
00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,208
- What?
- Yeah.
595
00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:56,210
I told him.
- You told...
596
00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,820
You told Simon?
Are you insane?
597
00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,170
Why would you do that?
- Because he's a lawyer,
598
00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,563
and he will protect me!
599
00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:03,826
Oh, my God.
He's not gonna protect you.
600
00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:06,307
He fucking hates you.
He hates everything about you!
601
00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,483
Oh, sweetie. [scoffs]
602
00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:09,919
That's just married talk.
603
00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,443
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
I can't believe
604
00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:13,053
you would be stupid enough
605
00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,576
to fucking tell Simon!
606
00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:16,970
Oh, I absolutely am that stupid.
607
00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:18,493
And why not?
608
00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:21,714
I mean, it's worked pretty well
for me so far, right?
609
00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,237
Tell me something.
610
00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:25,848
Who's the one
living in a mansion
611
00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:28,677
in the Palisades,
612
00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:31,246
and who can't afford
their mortgage in Mar Vista?
613
00:21:32,378 --> 00:21:33,900
Okay, you listen to me,
614
00:21:33,901 --> 00:21:36,424
you with your little
400 calories a day,
615
00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,644
your cool sculpt,
and your amazing blowjobs
616
00:21:38,645 --> 00:21:39,775
you can't stop bragging about...
617
00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:41,864
- They are amazing.
- Well,
618
00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:44,519
not amazing enough
to keep Carlos around.
619
00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,347
So if you wanna go steal
620
00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,218
the Westside Ripper's
wine glass,
621
00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:49,655
good fucking luck.
622
00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:50,830
Fuck you.
623
00:21:50,831 --> 00:21:52,527
Fuck you, 'cause Nathan
will bring me in
624
00:21:52,528 --> 00:21:55,356
'cause he is nothing like you!
625
00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,358
He will cut me in!
626
00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,926
And my blowjobs
are the fucking best!
627
00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:01,144
[sniffles]
628
00:22:01,145 --> 00:22:04,234
Everyone in LA knows it...
629
00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:05,541
and Dubai.
630
00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:09,675
900, $900.
Ladies and gentlemen,
631
00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:10,980
it would be a dream
within a dream
632
00:22:10,981 --> 00:22:12,895
if we got to $1,000.
633
00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:15,681
Do I hear 1, $1,000
634
00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:16,943
for the Edgar Allan Poe brick.
635
00:22:16,944 --> 00:22:18,248
How 'bout a 1,200?
Who'll do a 1,200?
636
00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:19,641
There's a fan
of blood and murder for 1,200.
637
00:22:19,642 --> 00:22:21,469
Hey, can I talk to you
for a second?
638
00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:23,384
Hold on, these fuckers are
trying to steal your brick.
639
00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:24,864
- $1,300.
- Okay, but...
640
00:22:24,865 --> 00:22:27,562
[sighs]
I need you for one second.
641
00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:29,259
- We're gonna lose the brick.
- I don't care.
642
00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:30,957
Just come on.
643
00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:32,306
So here's the thing...
Don't panic
644
00:22:32,307 --> 00:22:34,003
when I tell you this...
But I lost the burner.
645
00:22:34,004 --> 00:22:35,004
- What?
- I got it back,
646
00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:36,049
but I dropped it in Vegas,
647
00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:37,529
and then Ruby, she found it,
648
00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:38,573
and now she's blackmailing...
- Oh, my fucking God.
649
00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:39,532
Us and wants in on everything.
650
00:22:39,533 --> 00:22:40,706
- Ruby?
- Yes.
651
00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:41,621
How did you not
know you dropped it?
652
00:22:41,622 --> 00:22:42,622
It was an accident! Okay?
653
00:22:42,623 --> 00:22:43,709
We had been using yours.
654
00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:44,840
I barely use mine.
I thought it was
655
00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,146
in my bag, but it fell out.
656
00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:47,539
I know I fucked up,
but she knows everything.
657
00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:49,410
She knows that Matt
is the Westside Ripper,
658
00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:51,369
and she told me
that she told Simon.
659
00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,110
- She told Simon?
- Well, she might be bluffing.
660
00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:55,851
I don't fuckin' know, but...
- This is fine. It's fine.
661
00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:57,070
[dog whines]
We're gonna figure this out.
662
00:22:57,071 --> 00:22:58,376
But this place is toxic.
663
00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,986
Okay? I'm telling you,
it's fucking toxic.
664
00:22:59,987 --> 00:23:02,249
They're nuts.
I'm taking McEnroe outta here.
665
00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:04,164
Babe, who fucking cares
about the dog right now?
666
00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:05,687
Just forget the fuckin' dog.
667
00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:07,298
[phone chimes]
We have bigger problems.
668
00:23:08,778 --> 00:23:10,257
What? What?
- Oh, shit.
669
00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:13,303
Alba, she just came out
against us.
670
00:23:13,304 --> 00:23:14,479
No, not Alba.
671
00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,784
Jessica Alba just tweeted,
672
00:23:15,785 --> 00:23:18,134
"If #BasedOnATrueStory
is true, it's sickening.
673
00:23:18,135 --> 00:23:19,614
"If it's fake,
it might be even worse.
674
00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:20,920
"America,
we're better than this.
675
00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:23,662
#CancelBasedOnATrueStory."
676
00:23:23,663 --> 00:23:25,272
Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no.
677
00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:27,187
Okay, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, my God.
678
00:23:27,188 --> 00:23:28,188
Okay, maybe
it's not gonna track.
679
00:23:28,189 --> 00:23:29,842
Maybe no one's gonna pick
this up.
680
00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:32,279
Oh, shit.
Malia Obama just retweeted it.
681
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,280
[phones chiming]
682
00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,282
Oh, my God, so did Tom Hanks.
683
00:23:35,283 --> 00:23:37,458
- Kylie Jenner.
- Oh, my God.
684
00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:39,373
So did Dame Judi Dench.
685
00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:41,288
- Oh, I'm so sorry, babe.
- Oh, my God.
686
00:23:41,289 --> 00:23:43,769
- I know you love her.
- Are you seeing this shit?
687
00:23:43,770 --> 00:23:44,987
- Yes.
- We're gonna get canceled?
688
00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:47,033
Alba fucked us.
- Okay, is there anyone
689
00:23:47,034 --> 00:23:48,121
that's for us?
690
00:23:48,122 --> 00:23:49,688
- For us? Um...
- Who is? Look.
691
00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:50,950
- Kanye?
- Okay, Kanye?
692
00:23:50,951 --> 00:23:52,430
Ugh, that's not good.
693
00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:53,474
The dude from NXIVM.
694
00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:54,736
Josh Duggar?
695
00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:56,085
Jared from Subway.
696
00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,347
- That's not good.
- That's bad.
697
00:23:57,348 --> 00:23:58,479
No.
698
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,133
This is fuckin' awful.
[phone chimes]
699
00:24:00,134 --> 00:24:01,308
There goes iTunes.
700
00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:02,614
- We lost iTunes?
- Yes.
701
00:24:02,615 --> 00:24:03,745
Okay.
702
00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,007
Okay, here's what
we're gonna do.
703
00:24:05,008 --> 00:24:06,531
You and me,
we're gettin' outta here.
704
00:24:06,532 --> 00:24:08,141
We're takin' the dog.
We'll call you from the road.
705
00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:09,577
You're taking the fucking dog?
706
00:24:09,578 --> 00:24:10,622
Our brand is under attack.
707
00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:11,927
We gotta act now.
[dog whines]
708
00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:13,799
Here's our play, okay?
709
00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,365
The snowflakes can suck it.
710
00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:17,890
We're gonna double down
just like our fans want.
711
00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:19,239
I'm gonna go out tonight...
- No.
712
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,111
- And I will...
- We are not doing that, okay?
713
00:24:22,112 --> 00:24:23,983
We have to do something,
but we are not doing that.
714
00:24:23,984 --> 00:24:25,027
You guys,
if we don't do something,
715
00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,334
we are gonna lose
the Spotify deal.
716
00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:29,031
Do you understand?
So what do we do?
717
00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:30,642
Wait, wait.
Hold on a second.
718
00:24:30,643 --> 00:24:31,860
Wait a minute.
Doesn't...
719
00:24:31,861 --> 00:24:35,037
doesn't Ruby know Alba?
720
00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:37,300
Yes. You know what?
She was her body double
721
00:24:37,301 --> 00:24:38,650
in "Spy Kids 4."
722
00:24:38,651 --> 00:24:39,781
Remember, she had the wig
and the costume on
723
00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:41,000
one night after shooting?
724
00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,610
She loves to hold that over me.
725
00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:43,829
She went down on Kid Rock.
726
00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:45,091
Someone took a photo.
- Yeah.
727
00:24:45,092 --> 00:24:46,919
Why don't we get Ruby
to tell Alba
728
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,660
that we'll release
the fuckin' photo
729
00:24:48,661 --> 00:24:50,009
unless she pulls the post?
730
00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,184
Why would Alba care?
731
00:24:51,185 --> 00:24:52,359
It's not her in the picture.
732
00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,143
It doesn't matter.
It looks like her.
733
00:24:54,144 --> 00:24:56,015
No, the tweet's out there.
It's taken flight.
734
00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:57,233
You go talk to Ruby.
735
00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:58,539
I'll find out what Simon knows.
736
00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:00,802
Ruby's not gonna do shit
for us right now.
737
00:25:00,803 --> 00:25:02,848
Trust me.
- It's all we fuckin' got,
738
00:25:02,849 --> 00:25:04,414
guys. Let's go. Go.
- [clapping]
739
00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:06,678
Big man, everyone!
740
00:25:06,679 --> 00:25:07,679
[laughs]
741
00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,550
Big fuckin' man.
742
00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:12,597
What kind of control freak buys
his wife's boyfriend, huh?
743
00:25:12,598 --> 00:25:14,163
You're the one
who invited him, honey,
744
00:25:14,164 --> 00:25:15,338
in front of all of our friends.
745
00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:16,905
Yeah, you know why?
You know why?
746
00:25:16,906 --> 00:25:19,255
'Cause you can't get it up
unless you call me "Mommy."
747
00:25:19,256 --> 00:25:21,214
Do you guys know that?
What's up with that?
748
00:25:21,215 --> 00:25:23,564
You miss sucking
on Mommy's titties, huh?
749
00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:26,045
Yes! Yes, I do!
750
00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:27,525
You know what?
I actually like
751
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,831
sucking Mom's tits
better than yours!
752
00:25:29,832 --> 00:25:31,441
[dog barks]
- Guys, that's not great
753
00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:32,834
for the dog.
- Or anyone.
754
00:25:32,835 --> 00:25:36,185
Even if I stitched
Michael Fassbender's foreskin
755
00:25:36,186 --> 00:25:38,100
onto Orlando Bloom's dick...
[dog barking]
756
00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:40,233
And Frankensteined
the perfect penis,
757
00:25:40,234 --> 00:25:42,148
I still couldn't get it up
for you!
758
00:25:42,149 --> 00:25:43,541
Are you gonna finally stroke out
759
00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:46,239
and leave me with all
your daddy's money, huh?
760
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,982
Come on. Come on, McEnroe.
Come on.
761
00:25:49,983 --> 00:25:53,202
Okay, stay here, and stay quiet.
762
00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,595
I'm gonna get you outta here tonight.
763
00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:55,683
Okay? Yeah.
764
00:25:55,684 --> 00:25:57,250
You think that hurt me?
765
00:25:57,251 --> 00:25:59,078
You think sending him away
hurt me?
766
00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:00,427
- Okay!
- You can't fucking hurt me.
767
00:26:00,428 --> 00:26:01,994
What do you want?
You want the spa day
768
00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:03,343
at the Peninsula, honey, huh?
769
00:26:03,344 --> 00:26:04,562
Do you want the deep tissue?
770
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,259
Do you want me
to buy that for you?
771
00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:07,956
You're gonna continue
to buy my love!
772
00:26:07,957 --> 00:26:09,479
You're a fucking monster,
773
00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,481
and you've never loved anything
774
00:26:11,482 --> 00:26:14,223
in your entire life
except that dog!
775
00:26:14,224 --> 00:26:16,617
That's it!
How pathetic is that, everyone?
776
00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:19,098
- So now it's the dog's fault?
- Oh, sure!
777
00:26:19,099 --> 00:26:20,403
Yeah, it's the dog's fault!
[dog barking]
778
00:26:20,404 --> 00:26:22,231
Sure,
it's the fucking dog's fault!
779
00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:23,581
You want me to shut the dog up?
780
00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,408
Yeah, go shut
the fucking dog up!
781
00:26:25,409 --> 00:26:27,280
Okay.
I'll shut the fucking dog up!
782
00:26:27,281 --> 00:26:28,281
Do you need Mommy's help?
783
00:26:28,282 --> 00:26:30,022
You think you can handle that?
784
00:26:30,023 --> 00:26:30,980
You got that, hon?
785
00:26:30,981 --> 00:26:32,633
Goddamn it!
786
00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:35,027
Hey, I know this is
a terrible time.
787
00:26:35,028 --> 00:26:36,942
I'm so sorry,
but, um, you're friends
788
00:26:36,943 --> 00:26:38,247
with Jessica Alba, right?
789
00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,032
- Yeah.
- You are?
790
00:26:40,033 --> 00:26:42,251
Yeah, she's really sweet, actually.
791
00:26:42,252 --> 00:26:44,297
- Um...
- Fuck off and die!
792
00:26:44,298 --> 00:26:45,385
[gunshot]
[everyone gasps]
793
00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:46,429
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!
794
00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:48,127
Oh, my God.
Oh, no.
795
00:26:48,128 --> 00:26:49,607
[gasping] No.
[banging noises]
796
00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,478
- What's he doing?
- Someone...
797
00:26:51,479 --> 00:26:53,306
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
798
00:26:53,307 --> 00:26:55,047
- Uh...
- No, you should stay here.
799
00:26:55,048 --> 00:26:56,483
♪
800
00:26:56,484 --> 00:26:57,963
Wait...
801
00:26:57,964 --> 00:26:59,312
- He's got a gun.
- [gasps]
802
00:26:59,313 --> 00:27:00,487
- He's got a gun.
- Oh, my God.
803
00:27:00,488 --> 00:27:02,054
- [whimpers]
- Oh, my God.
804
00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:03,055
Watch out.
Watch out!
805
00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:05,274
Oh, my God.
806
00:27:05,275 --> 00:27:06,928
What did you do?
807
00:27:06,929 --> 00:27:08,974
[dark music]
808
00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:10,671
I shut the dog up.
809
00:27:10,672 --> 00:27:12,455
[gasps]
810
00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:15,111
Oh, no.
811
00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:19,549
I shut it up.
812
00:27:19,550 --> 00:27:20,812
[everyone gasps]
- Oh, my God.
813
00:27:20,813 --> 00:27:22,814
Simon, please put that down.
814
00:27:22,815 --> 00:27:24,816
[cries]
815
00:27:24,817 --> 00:27:27,688
What the fuck did you...
- I shut the fucking dog up
816
00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:29,647
is what I did.
817
00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,650
[tense music]
818
00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:36,131
♪
819
00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:39,526
Okay, easy, please.
Please, please.
820
00:27:39,527 --> 00:27:43,530
No, no, no.
821
00:27:43,531 --> 00:27:45,619
[exhales]
822
00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:52,583
♪
823
00:27:56,152 --> 00:28:00,199
I'm gonna come around you, okay?
824
00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,552
Hey. Just focus on me.
825
00:28:05,553 --> 00:28:07,728
All right?
826
00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:10,688
That's good. That's good.
827
00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:14,693
[breathes deeply]
Man, you must be in shock.
828
00:28:17,913 --> 00:28:20,741
You're not a bad person.
829
00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:24,658
We all have anger in us.
830
00:28:24,659 --> 00:28:27,052
I know. It's okay.
831
00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:28,270
It's okay. It's all right.
832
00:28:28,271 --> 00:28:29,794
It's good. Yeah, yeah.
That's good.
833
00:28:29,795 --> 00:28:30,795
You don't wanna do this.
834
00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:33,101
Yeah. That's good.
835
00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:35,060
McEnroe!
836
00:28:35,061 --> 00:28:37,366
[everyone talking nervously]
837
00:28:37,367 --> 00:28:39,064
- Okay, Tory.
- You all right?
838
00:28:39,065 --> 00:28:40,239
- I got you.
- [wails]
839
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,240
I got you.
840
00:28:41,241 --> 00:28:42,589
He just lost his mind?
841
00:28:42,590 --> 00:28:46,071
- Oh, no!
- [crying]
842
00:28:46,072 --> 00:28:47,899
I'm so sorry.
843
00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:49,901
[wails]
844
00:28:49,902 --> 00:28:52,077
[phone chimes]
845
00:28:52,078 --> 00:28:56,951
♪
846
00:28:56,952 --> 00:28:59,954
[tense music]
847
00:28:59,955 --> 00:29:06,657
♪
848
00:29:09,617 --> 00:29:12,532
[The Cowsills' "The Rain,
the Park, Other Things"]
849
00:29:12,533 --> 00:29:16,405
♪ I saw her sitting
in the rain ♪
850
00:29:16,406 --> 00:29:19,452
♪ Raindrops falling on her
851
00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:21,454
♪ She didn't seem to care
852
00:29:21,455 --> 00:29:26,459
♪ She sat there
and smiled at me ♪
853
00:29:26,460 --> 00:29:28,113
♪ Then I knew
- ♪ I knew, I knew
854
00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:31,638
♪ I knew, I knew
- ♪ She could make me happy
855
00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:32,944
- ♪ Happy
- ♪ Happy
856
00:29:32,945 --> 00:29:34,467
♪ She could make me
very happy ♪
857
00:29:34,468 --> 00:29:36,295
♪ Flowers in her hair
858
00:29:36,296 --> 00:29:37,949
♪ In her hair
859
00:29:37,950 --> 00:29:39,820
♪ Flowers everywhere
860
00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:42,040
♪ Everywhere
861
00:29:42,041 --> 00:29:44,956
- ♪ I love the flower girl
- ♪ I love the flower girl
862
00:29:44,957 --> 00:29:47,088
♪ Oh, I don't know
just why ♪
863
00:29:47,089 --> 00:29:49,308
♪ She simply caught my eye
864
00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:52,485
♪ I love the flower girl
- ♪ I love the flower girl
865
00:29:52,486 --> 00:29:54,313
♪ She seemed so sweet
and kind ♪
866
00:29:54,314 --> 00:29:56,794
♪ She crept into my mind
867
00:29:56,795 --> 00:30:02,800
♪ To my mind
- ♪ To my mind
868
00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,324
Nice shot, Dad.
60996
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