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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,393 --> 00:00:03,654 ♪ You know what it's like to be nameless ♪ 2 00:00:03,655 --> 00:00:05,178 ♪ Want them to know what your name is ♪ 3 00:00:05,179 --> 00:00:07,354 ♪ When I grow up, I wanna be famous ♪ 4 00:00:07,355 --> 00:00:09,312 ♪ I wanna be a star, I wanna be in movies ♪ 5 00:00:09,313 --> 00:00:11,445 ♪ When I grow up, I wanna see the world ♪ 6 00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:13,316 ♪ Drive nice cars, I wanna have groupies ♪ 7 00:00:13,317 --> 00:00:15,318 Babe, we did it! Oh, my God, okay. 8 00:00:15,319 --> 00:00:16,580 Here's another one. You ready? - Yeah. 9 00:00:16,581 --> 00:00:18,495 "VICE Magazine," "'Based on a True Story, ' 10 00:00:18,496 --> 00:00:19,670 "real or hoax? 11 00:00:19,671 --> 00:00:20,758 The podcast that's gripped the nation." 12 00:00:20,759 --> 00:00:21,933 - Holy shit. - [gasps] 13 00:00:21,934 --> 00:00:23,326 - Keep going. - Yep, we got one 14 00:00:23,327 --> 00:00:25,285 from BuzzFeed: "Top ten moments you can't miss 15 00:00:25,286 --> 00:00:27,156 from 'Based on a True Story.'" 16 00:00:27,157 --> 00:00:29,158 - Love you, BuzzFeed. - Another amazing one. 17 00:00:29,159 --> 00:00:30,290 "New York Times Magazine," 18 00:00:30,291 --> 00:00:31,987 "Bill Kristol and Noam Chomsky debate, 19 00:00:31,988 --> 00:00:34,772 'What does "Based on a True Story" say about America?'" 20 00:00:34,773 --> 00:00:36,470 It says, the best... 21 00:00:36,471 --> 00:00:38,341 country ever! - Oh, my God. 22 00:00:38,342 --> 00:00:41,344 Charli D'Amelio tweeted "My new favorite obsession! 23 00:00:41,345 --> 00:00:43,172 #basedonatruestory!" 24 00:00:43,173 --> 00:00:44,695 - Who's Charli D'Amelio? - I loved her 25 00:00:44,696 --> 00:00:46,349 from "Dancing with the Stars." She won last year... 26 00:00:46,350 --> 00:00:47,481 - Okay. - But she also has, like, 27 00:00:47,482 --> 00:00:49,396 150 million followers on TikTok, 28 00:00:49,397 --> 00:00:51,006 so we are fucking viral, babe! [cell phone rings] 29 00:00:51,007 --> 00:00:52,355 Uh-oh, look who's callin' here. 30 00:00:52,356 --> 00:00:54,314 Okay. Hey, you see the Daily Beast? 31 00:00:54,315 --> 00:00:56,098 [dramatically] Who is the voice 32 00:00:56,099 --> 00:00:58,144 of "Based on a True Story"? 33 00:00:58,145 --> 00:01:00,059 Can you believe that? 34 00:01:00,060 --> 00:01:02,148 Man, we are everywhere. 35 00:01:02,149 --> 00:01:03,497 Right? 36 00:01:03,498 --> 00:01:04,759 How far away are you? 37 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:07,327 I'm just on Sunset. I'll see you soon. 38 00:01:07,328 --> 00:01:08,806 ♪ 'Cause see, when I was younger ♪ 39 00:01:08,807 --> 00:01:10,808 - Why did she invite him? - I don't know. 40 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:13,115 It's like, if I know someone, she has to know them too. 41 00:01:13,116 --> 00:01:14,595 My friend has to be her friend. 42 00:01:14,596 --> 00:01:16,336 If I have a plumber, she has to have the same plumber. 43 00:01:16,337 --> 00:01:18,120 It's like, fuck off. - Yeah. 44 00:01:18,121 --> 00:01:20,427 This is gonna be a fucking great party. 45 00:01:20,428 --> 00:01:22,385 ♪ Be careful what you wish for ♪ 46 00:01:22,386 --> 00:01:24,431 ♪ 'Cause you just might get it ♪ 47 00:01:24,432 --> 00:01:28,739 - ♪ Hey - ♪ You just might get it 48 00:01:28,740 --> 00:01:30,001 [laughing] 49 00:01:30,002 --> 00:01:31,394 - All right. - Hi, guys. 50 00:01:31,395 --> 00:01:34,005 - Wow. - Welcome. Hi. 51 00:01:34,006 --> 00:01:35,572 - Beautiful in here. - Oh, thank you. 52 00:01:35,573 --> 00:01:37,705 You look amazing. You're huge. - Thank you. 53 00:01:37,706 --> 00:01:39,185 Uh... - Hi. 54 00:01:39,186 --> 00:01:41,143 - Hi, girls. - So good to see you. 55 00:01:41,144 --> 00:01:43,711 - You guys look gorgeous. - This dress... 56 00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:45,539 - Cut two dresses... - Stop. 57 00:01:45,540 --> 00:01:47,018 - And put it together. - No, you did not. 58 00:01:47,019 --> 00:01:48,150 - Hi! - Tory! 59 00:01:48,151 --> 00:01:49,282 - Hi, sis. - Hello. 60 00:01:49,283 --> 00:01:50,718 Little kid. 61 00:01:50,719 --> 00:01:51,719 You need a sweater. 62 00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:53,286 - Oh, hi. - No, let it all out. 63 00:01:53,287 --> 00:01:55,897 - How was school? - I just graduated. 64 00:01:55,898 --> 00:01:58,508 - You look smarter. - Looking for a place to stay, 65 00:01:58,509 --> 00:02:00,771 you know, before baby comes and kicks me out. 66 00:02:00,772 --> 00:02:02,338 Oh, my God, no one is kicking you out. 67 00:02:02,339 --> 00:02:03,861 Is there food yet? - Yeah, inside. 68 00:02:03,862 --> 00:02:05,602 - Bye. - Hi. 69 00:02:05,603 --> 00:02:07,865 - Who's your date? - [gasps] Tinder guy. 70 00:02:07,866 --> 00:02:10,825 Uh, no, actually, Bumble guy. Jacob. 71 00:02:10,826 --> 00:02:12,087 Another fuckfest. 72 00:02:12,088 --> 00:02:13,958 Oh, no, it's, like, a little early. 73 00:02:13,959 --> 00:02:15,438 - Is it? - Alcohol? 74 00:02:15,439 --> 00:02:16,570 - Mm-hmm, yes. - Yeah. 75 00:02:16,571 --> 00:02:18,006 - Yes, yes. - I see this. 76 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:18,964 - Bye. - Holding hands. 77 00:02:18,965 --> 00:02:20,183 Intimate. 78 00:02:21,619 --> 00:02:23,185 I used to hate these things. 79 00:02:23,186 --> 00:02:24,578 I always got outbid. 80 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,232 Not anymore, babe. - Not anymore. 81 00:02:26,233 --> 00:02:27,537 Look at this watch. 82 00:02:27,538 --> 00:02:29,496 Ten-day vacation... Four Seasons in Maui. 83 00:02:29,497 --> 00:02:31,280 Ooh, I like that one. 84 00:02:31,281 --> 00:02:33,152 - What else we got here? - A little wine tasting 85 00:02:33,153 --> 00:02:34,762 at home? That would be nice too. 86 00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:36,242 A brick. 87 00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,635 - What is that? - "A single brick salvaged 88 00:02:38,636 --> 00:02:41,812 from the last Manhattan residence of Edgar Allan Poe"? 89 00:02:41,813 --> 00:02:44,032 A creepy brick owned by a horror writer? 90 00:02:44,033 --> 00:02:46,208 I have to have that. - Early anniversary present? 91 00:02:46,209 --> 00:02:48,471 - [exclaims] That is so mine. - It's gonna be yours, baby. 92 00:02:48,472 --> 00:02:49,907 - It also works as a weapon. - Hey, it's my two 93 00:02:49,908 --> 00:02:51,301 favorite people. 94 00:02:52,346 --> 00:02:53,607 - Hey, Matt. - Hey. 95 00:02:53,608 --> 00:02:56,305 - Hey, Michelle. - Hey. [laughs lightly] 96 00:02:56,306 --> 00:02:58,307 I didn't know you were coming. 97 00:02:58,308 --> 00:02:59,743 - Well, surprise. - Yay. [laughs] 98 00:02:59,744 --> 00:03:01,354 - [laughs] Yeah. - Great. Yeah. 99 00:03:01,355 --> 00:03:04,618 And it's great that you guys... Um, how are you? 100 00:03:04,619 --> 00:03:07,969 You know what? We are awesome. 101 00:03:07,970 --> 00:03:11,320 Yeah, and we have Nathan to thank because he set us up. 102 00:03:11,321 --> 00:03:12,756 - Yeah. - Oh, I... no, I didn't. 103 00:03:12,757 --> 00:03:14,410 I... I definitely didn't set you up. 104 00:03:14,411 --> 00:03:16,804 No, no, you did. You did, remember? 105 00:03:16,805 --> 00:03:17,935 I... I said he was hot, 106 00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:20,721 and then you said he was good people. 107 00:03:20,722 --> 00:03:22,157 Buddy, thanks. 108 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:23,724 I owe you. - I didn't... 109 00:03:23,725 --> 00:03:25,509 Good people? [laughs drily] 110 00:03:26,902 --> 00:03:28,859 Oop, excuse me. 111 00:03:28,860 --> 00:03:30,948 Thank you so much. 112 00:03:30,949 --> 00:03:33,342 Oh, my God, these canapes are amazing. 113 00:03:33,343 --> 00:03:35,126 Ugh, I know. I've had, like, 17 of them. 114 00:03:35,127 --> 00:03:37,346 - [sighs] - Uh... 115 00:03:37,347 --> 00:03:39,522 [light ambient music] 116 00:03:39,523 --> 00:03:42,177 Uh... [scoffs] Carlos is here. 117 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:44,048 Mm, mm-hmm. 118 00:03:44,049 --> 00:03:46,007 Yeah. 119 00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:47,704 You invited Carlos? 120 00:03:47,705 --> 00:03:49,793 Yes. I want all my friends here. 121 00:03:49,794 --> 00:03:51,273 Oh, my God. You invite him to, like, 122 00:03:51,274 --> 00:03:53,362 socialize too? 123 00:03:53,363 --> 00:03:55,016 Well, this is the first one, 124 00:03:55,017 --> 00:03:56,365 but Simon doesn't care. 125 00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,758 - Hey. - See? 126 00:03:57,759 --> 00:03:58,759 All good. 127 00:03:58,760 --> 00:04:00,500 You guys are so fucking weird. 128 00:04:00,501 --> 00:04:02,893 [indistinct chatter] 129 00:04:02,894 --> 00:04:04,374 Hey, guys. 130 00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,376 Bring it in. 131 00:04:07,377 --> 00:04:09,248 Look at these new numbers. 132 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,554 15 million downloads. 133 00:04:11,555 --> 00:04:13,121 That's a lot of fuckin' money. 134 00:04:13,122 --> 00:04:14,514 Yeah, that's a lot of money. 135 00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:15,385 - Like, a million dollars. - Can you believe that? 136 00:04:15,386 --> 00:04:16,733 Can you believe that? 137 00:04:16,734 --> 00:04:19,083 Yeah, but you know what the next question is? 138 00:04:19,084 --> 00:04:20,476 How do we make it bigger? 139 00:04:20,477 --> 00:04:22,261 Okay, let's just enjoy this moment. 140 00:04:22,262 --> 00:04:23,566 We gotta push it. Look. 141 00:04:23,567 --> 00:04:25,351 I went on a bit of a deep dive on Reddit. 142 00:04:25,352 --> 00:04:27,875 Okay, 24% of our fans, 143 00:04:27,876 --> 00:04:30,094 they want me to keep talking about my greatest hits 144 00:04:30,095 --> 00:04:32,575 over and over like I'm Billy fucking Joel, 145 00:04:32,576 --> 00:04:35,491 but 76%, guess what they want? 146 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:37,406 - Don't say it. - Fresh new content, 147 00:04:37,407 --> 00:04:38,407 motherfuckers. Both: No. 148 00:04:38,408 --> 00:04:39,756 - No. - Yeah. Yeah. 149 00:04:39,757 --> 00:04:40,844 We're not talking about that anymore. 150 00:04:40,845 --> 00:04:42,106 - They said it. - Faking it worked 151 00:04:42,107 --> 00:04:43,369 pretty good in Vegas. 152 00:04:43,370 --> 00:04:44,327 The fake was great. It was great. 153 00:04:44,328 --> 00:04:45,632 It was a one-time thing. 154 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:46,633 - How 'bout a two-time thing? - It was great. 155 00:04:46,634 --> 00:04:47,548 - Why? - No, we've gotten listen 156 00:04:47,549 --> 00:04:49,723 to our 15-million fanbase, 157 00:04:49,724 --> 00:04:51,290 and we gotta keep it real for them. 158 00:04:51,291 --> 00:04:52,726 Okay, listen to this. 159 00:04:52,727 --> 00:04:55,076 Spotify is talking about a $20-million deal with us. 160 00:04:55,077 --> 00:04:56,512 - Yeah. - So how 'bout that's keeping 161 00:04:56,513 --> 00:04:58,906 shit real, bro? - That's keeping it real real, 162 00:04:58,907 --> 00:05:00,603 so just keep your shit together, 163 00:05:00,604 --> 00:05:03,040 don't fuck it up, and just keep cool. 164 00:05:03,041 --> 00:05:04,346 Offer's comin' in any minute. 165 00:05:04,347 --> 00:05:05,478 We're all gonna be rich. 166 00:05:05,479 --> 00:05:07,131 Okay. Great. 167 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:08,698 - Got it? - I got it, yeah. 168 00:05:08,699 --> 00:05:11,006 - Don't fuck this up. - Okay, don't fuck it up. 169 00:05:14,575 --> 00:05:17,533 [ominous music] 170 00:05:17,534 --> 00:05:24,715 ♪ 171 00:05:36,248 --> 00:05:39,339 [line trilling] 172 00:05:44,431 --> 00:05:46,519 Yeah? 173 00:05:46,520 --> 00:05:49,522 [gasping] 174 00:05:49,523 --> 00:05:53,570 ♪ 175 00:05:56,399 --> 00:05:58,400 Okay, ready? Oh, good catch. 176 00:05:58,401 --> 00:06:00,098 Good boy. Come here. Come here. 177 00:06:01,491 --> 00:06:03,275 Come here, boy, you handsome boy. 178 00:06:06,104 --> 00:06:07,975 Ooh. [laughing] Oh, good catch. 179 00:06:07,976 --> 00:06:09,716 Oh, Duke is such a handsome boy. 180 00:06:09,717 --> 00:06:11,457 Come here. - Hey. 181 00:06:11,458 --> 00:06:13,459 Do you wanna try this edible flower? 182 00:06:13,460 --> 00:06:16,287 Do you think we could get the dog back? 183 00:06:16,288 --> 00:06:18,115 Uh, sorry, what? [laughs] 184 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,465 Are you kidding? - I just... I... 185 00:06:19,466 --> 00:06:21,467 - [laughing] - I'm really feeling like 186 00:06:21,468 --> 00:06:22,903 he wants to come home. 187 00:06:22,904 --> 00:06:25,427 Okay, babe. We gave them the dog. 188 00:06:25,428 --> 00:06:27,429 You can't ask for something like that back. 189 00:06:27,430 --> 00:06:28,996 That's insane. - We gave him the dog 190 00:06:28,997 --> 00:06:30,650 because our yard was too small. 191 00:06:30,651 --> 00:06:31,651 - Yes. - But that's about 192 00:06:31,652 --> 00:06:32,652 to fucking change. 193 00:06:32,653 --> 00:06:34,044 We're gonna have a huge yard. 194 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:35,481 He should come home. 195 00:06:35,482 --> 00:06:36,873 I mean, look... Look at the way he's... 196 00:06:36,874 --> 00:06:38,745 He throws the ball like such a pussy. 197 00:06:38,746 --> 00:06:40,224 He's like... - Anybody see that? 198 00:06:40,225 --> 00:06:42,096 It is kind of a lame throw. 199 00:06:42,097 --> 00:06:43,837 - Right? Just like... - Yeah, but that doesn't mean 200 00:06:43,838 --> 00:06:45,012 you can steal the dog back. 201 00:06:45,013 --> 00:06:47,057 Good catch, Duke! 202 00:06:47,058 --> 00:06:48,189 His name is McEnroe. 203 00:06:48,190 --> 00:06:50,017 It's not Duke, and he knows it. 204 00:06:50,018 --> 00:06:51,584 You gotta let it go, okay? 205 00:06:51,585 --> 00:06:52,846 We can't ask for the dog back. 206 00:06:52,847 --> 00:06:55,675 Okay, fine. We'll buy him back. 207 00:06:55,676 --> 00:06:58,068 [sighs] You know how much Simon loves this dog? 208 00:06:58,069 --> 00:06:59,940 He does. He's obsessed. - [laughs] 209 00:06:59,941 --> 00:07:01,855 He sleeps in the guesthouse with him. 210 00:07:01,856 --> 00:07:03,423 Do you think I give a shit? 211 00:07:04,989 --> 00:07:06,469 Hey, pal. 212 00:07:08,079 --> 00:07:09,558 It's us. He's look... he's looking at... 213 00:07:09,559 --> 00:07:10,864 - Babe, he's not looking at us. - He's looking at us. 214 00:07:10,865 --> 00:07:12,648 No, he's not. You can't take something 215 00:07:12,649 --> 00:07:13,649 like that away. - Hey. 216 00:07:13,650 --> 00:07:14,694 That's... that's nuts. 217 00:07:14,695 --> 00:07:15,825 Yeah, um, can I... 218 00:07:15,826 --> 00:07:17,000 Can I grab you for a second? I just... 219 00:07:17,001 --> 00:07:18,219 - Yeah. - I need a hand. 220 00:07:18,220 --> 00:07:21,091 Yes. Please don't steal the dog, okay? 221 00:07:21,092 --> 00:07:22,789 Come here, Duke. Come to me. Come to me. 222 00:07:22,790 --> 00:07:24,355 Oh, come here. Good catch. 223 00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:26,836 Good boy. Come here. Come here. 224 00:07:26,837 --> 00:07:28,447 Okay, Duke. 225 00:07:28,448 --> 00:07:29,752 Go get it. 226 00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:31,841 Oh, good catch. You're such a handsome boy. 227 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:33,104 Bring it back. Bring it back. 228 00:07:43,724 --> 00:07:47,291 Just love this room! 229 00:07:47,292 --> 00:07:49,250 It's so beautiful. Where are the party favors? 230 00:07:49,251 --> 00:07:50,817 You hiding them up here? - Ava... 231 00:07:50,818 --> 00:07:52,253 Also, you have no pictures. 232 00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:54,734 It's really weird. - Hey, are you okay? 233 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:56,910 What? 234 00:07:56,911 --> 00:08:00,130 [curious music] 235 00:08:00,131 --> 00:08:01,523 What... what is that? 236 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:03,394 [laughs] - I don't know. You tell me. 237 00:08:03,395 --> 00:08:05,440 I saw it fall out of your pocket at CrimeCon. 238 00:08:05,441 --> 00:08:08,661 I've... I've never seen that before in my life. 239 00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:10,097 You've never seen this before in your life? 240 00:08:10,098 --> 00:08:11,228 - No. - Ever? 241 00:08:11,229 --> 00:08:12,752 - No. - Okay. 242 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:16,146 "WTF? You killed Dahlia? 243 00:08:16,147 --> 00:08:17,626 "You made a podcast without us? 244 00:08:17,627 --> 00:08:20,500 Meet us outside in the corridor now." 245 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:24,546 You're "Based on a True Story," aren't you? 246 00:08:24,547 --> 00:08:25,678 The... [laughs] 247 00:08:25,679 --> 00:08:28,419 "Based on a"... The... the... the podcast? 248 00:08:28,420 --> 00:08:30,117 Ava, I-I just... I wanna help you. 249 00:08:30,118 --> 00:08:31,248 Are you in danger? - No. 250 00:08:31,249 --> 00:08:33,033 Because I... I called the number 251 00:08:33,034 --> 00:08:34,164 on this phone, and Matt answered. 252 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:36,427 I don't... no. What? 253 00:08:36,428 --> 00:08:38,778 He's the Westside fucking Ripper, isn't he? 254 00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:40,301 What is going on? 255 00:08:40,302 --> 00:08:41,824 - Okay... - Why... why are you doing this? 256 00:08:41,825 --> 00:08:43,173 Is... is he threatening you... - It's not what you think. 257 00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:44,479 - Or Nathan? - Oh, my God, no. 258 00:08:44,480 --> 00:08:46,699 It's not... It's not like that at all. 259 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,614 No? Then what is it? Because it says right here 260 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,311 that he killed that girl in Vegas. 261 00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:52,139 Okay, is that why you invited Matt tonight? 262 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:53,444 So you could ask me about this? 263 00:08:53,445 --> 00:08:55,142 I mean, I invited him to find out 264 00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:56,796 if he's the guy so I... So I could help you, 265 00:08:56,797 --> 00:08:58,580 but if you don't want my help, I'll just go to the cops with... 266 00:08:58,581 --> 00:09:00,103 No, no, no. No, no, no. No, no, no, no, no. 267 00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:02,192 There's no... we don't need to... Let's just all calm down. 268 00:09:02,193 --> 00:09:03,629 No cops. You don't need to call anybody. 269 00:09:03,630 --> 00:09:05,805 Oh, fuck. Okay. I'm gonna tell you the truth. 270 00:09:05,806 --> 00:09:07,459 Okay? - Okay. 271 00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:10,113 Nathan and I are broke. 272 00:09:10,114 --> 00:09:12,246 We... we were gonna lose the house. 273 00:09:12,247 --> 00:09:13,682 - What? - I know, and Matt was over, 274 00:09:13,683 --> 00:09:15,336 and we started talking, and it turns out 275 00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:18,513 he's a... he's this, like, crime fanatic junkie like us. 276 00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:22,865 So the three of us decided to make a fake podcast 277 00:09:22,866 --> 00:09:26,696 where Matt pretends to be the Westside Ripper. 278 00:09:29,786 --> 00:09:33,528 So Matt is pretending to be a serial killer? 279 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:34,877 I know. When you say it like that, 280 00:09:34,878 --> 00:09:36,009 it sounds really bad, but... 281 00:09:36,010 --> 00:09:38,620 It-it's so bad and... And fucked up. 282 00:09:38,621 --> 00:09:40,622 I know it sounds like that, but we were desperate, 283 00:09:40,623 --> 00:09:42,624 desperate, completely desperate, and... 284 00:09:42,625 --> 00:09:44,844 And then Matt, like, he got, like, really into it, 285 00:09:44,845 --> 00:09:46,628 and he pretended he was the guy 286 00:09:46,629 --> 00:09:48,151 that pushed that girl off the roof. 287 00:09:48,152 --> 00:09:49,544 And people got obsessed. 288 00:09:49,545 --> 00:09:51,807 They couldn't get enough of it. 289 00:09:51,808 --> 00:09:54,984 So you're saying that all of this is... is fake 290 00:09:54,985 --> 00:09:56,203 and that guy's just a plumber? 291 00:09:56,204 --> 00:09:58,292 - Yes! - Because this looks 292 00:09:58,293 --> 00:09:59,902 pretty fucking real to me. 293 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:01,121 Well, good. 294 00:10:01,122 --> 00:10:03,645 We... [laughs] We got you. 295 00:10:03,646 --> 00:10:04,733 That's good. 296 00:10:04,734 --> 00:10:05,952 That... [splutters] 297 00:10:05,953 --> 00:10:07,693 Come on. 298 00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:09,825 Do you think that I would be in business 299 00:10:09,826 --> 00:10:12,393 with a real serial killer? 300 00:10:12,394 --> 00:10:15,396 I mean, you sound insane. 301 00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:18,051 That would be the biggest fucking stupidest thing 302 00:10:18,052 --> 00:10:19,705 I could do, right? 303 00:10:19,706 --> 00:10:21,490 Right? 304 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:24,231 - Yeah. - Right. 305 00:10:24,232 --> 00:10:25,580 Please don't tell anybody. 306 00:10:25,581 --> 00:10:28,801 Truly, like, I... I literally dragged Nathan 307 00:10:28,802 --> 00:10:30,280 into this shit show. 308 00:10:30,281 --> 00:10:31,760 There's a baby coming. 309 00:10:31,761 --> 00:10:34,545 Our lives could be over. 310 00:10:34,546 --> 00:10:35,765 Please. 311 00:10:37,767 --> 00:10:41,161 Okay. Yeah, no, no, no. I... I... 312 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:42,249 I won't say a word. 313 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,077 [sighs] Thank you. 314 00:10:44,078 --> 00:10:46,514 Thank you. - Wow. [laughs] 315 00:10:46,515 --> 00:10:49,604 I got to admit, this is... This is kind of genius. 316 00:10:49,605 --> 00:10:52,128 "Based on a True Story" is based on a fake story. 317 00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:54,217 - I know. - I-I wish I'd thought of it. 318 00:10:54,218 --> 00:10:56,785 Yeah. Well, yeah. Well, yeah. Mm-hmm. 319 00:10:56,786 --> 00:10:58,135 Thank you. 320 00:10:59,310 --> 00:11:00,702 [sighs] - I got your back. 321 00:11:00,703 --> 00:11:03,923 - Thank you. Okay. Okay. - Let's go back outside. 322 00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,969 Duke, Duke. Duke. 323 00:11:06,970 --> 00:11:07,970 Duke. - McEnroe. See? 324 00:11:07,971 --> 00:11:09,406 He likes McEnroe. McEnroe. 325 00:11:09,407 --> 00:11:10,930 McEnroe, right there. 326 00:11:10,931 --> 00:11:12,061 [The Cowsills' "The Rain, the Park, Other Things"] 327 00:11:12,062 --> 00:11:13,454 Good boy. 328 00:11:13,455 --> 00:11:15,151 Yes! Come on, buddy. 329 00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,849 - Come here. Come here. - Come on, buddy. 330 00:11:16,850 --> 00:11:20,722 ♪ She sat there and smiled at me ♪ 331 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,637 Come to me, Duke. Come to me, Duke. 332 00:11:22,638 --> 00:11:24,552 [laughs] 333 00:11:24,553 --> 00:11:25,640 Good boy. 334 00:11:25,641 --> 00:11:26,989 ♪ Make me happy 335 00:11:26,990 --> 00:11:28,338 Ready? Go. - Okay. 336 00:11:28,339 --> 00:11:30,514 I... I got it. Okay, here we go. 337 00:11:30,515 --> 00:11:31,864 Go get it. [dog barks] 338 00:11:31,865 --> 00:11:32,822 Here boy. Come on. 339 00:11:32,823 --> 00:11:35,432 [both calling] 340 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:37,173 Here, boy. Come on. - Duke. 341 00:11:37,174 --> 00:11:38,522 - Hey, hey. - Come on. 342 00:11:38,523 --> 00:11:40,220 Bring it to me. Bring it to me, to me. 343 00:11:40,221 --> 00:11:42,439 Me, me. - McEnroe, look at me. 344 00:11:42,440 --> 00:11:44,833 Come here, pal. Come here, pal. 345 00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:45,965 Look at me. Come here. 346 00:11:45,966 --> 00:11:47,575 Bring it to me. To me. - Duke. Duke! 347 00:11:47,576 --> 00:11:49,229 ♪ She seemed so sweet and kind ♪ 348 00:11:49,230 --> 00:11:51,492 [laughing] Come to me, Duke. Come to me. 349 00:11:51,493 --> 00:11:54,103 Come to me. Come to me, Duke. 350 00:11:54,104 --> 00:11:56,453 Yay... oh! 351 00:11:56,454 --> 00:11:58,760 Aah! [people screaming] 352 00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:01,763 [screaming] 353 00:12:01,764 --> 00:12:04,157 [tense music] 354 00:12:04,158 --> 00:12:05,245 Help! Help! 355 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:08,727 [continues screaming] 356 00:12:08,728 --> 00:12:15,691 ♪ 357 00:12:18,738 --> 00:12:20,913 I'm gonna getcha outta here. 358 00:12:20,914 --> 00:12:22,871 ♪ I turned around and she was gone ♪ 359 00:12:22,872 --> 00:12:26,048 - ♪ Where did she go? - ♪ And all I had left 360 00:12:26,049 --> 00:12:29,400 ♪ Was one little flower in my hand ♪ 361 00:12:31,054 --> 00:12:32,925 ♪ But I knew - ♪ I knew, I knew 362 00:12:32,926 --> 00:12:36,319 ♪ I knew, I knew - ♪ She had made me happy 363 00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,581 - ♪ Happy - ♪ Happy 364 00:12:37,582 --> 00:12:39,018 ♪ She had made me very happy ♪ 365 00:12:39,019 --> 00:12:42,586 - ♪ Flowers in her hair - ♪ Hair 366 00:12:42,587 --> 00:12:44,110 ♪ Flowers everywhere 367 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,459 - McEnroe. - Duke. 368 00:12:45,460 --> 00:12:46,852 - McEnroe. - Come to me. Come to me, Duke. 369 00:12:46,853 --> 00:12:48,244 - Bring it to me. - Come to me. Come to me, Duke. 370 00:12:48,245 --> 00:12:49,637 Duke! - Look at me. 371 00:12:49,638 --> 00:12:50,638 - Come to me. Come to me. - McEnroe. 372 00:12:50,639 --> 00:12:52,205 Come to me. Yeah, yeah. 373 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,206 Oh! Oh, don't... - Good boy. 374 00:12:53,207 --> 00:12:56,209 [somber music] 375 00:12:56,210 --> 00:12:57,688 ♪ 376 00:12:57,689 --> 00:12:59,342 Hey. 377 00:12:59,343 --> 00:13:01,170 Hi. Hi. 378 00:13:01,171 --> 00:13:03,390 You good? 379 00:13:03,391 --> 00:13:06,045 Um, yes. 380 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,829 Yes, I'm good. 381 00:13:07,830 --> 00:13:10,571 Everybody, please take a seat inside. 382 00:13:10,572 --> 00:13:13,531 Dinner first, and then the auction. 383 00:13:15,620 --> 00:13:17,447 Yeah, he likes me so much better than Simon. 384 00:13:17,448 --> 00:13:20,537 - I know. - Let's get that fuckin' brick. 385 00:13:20,538 --> 00:13:24,150 Hey, did you call me before? 386 00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:26,065 Uh, it was a butt-dial, sorry. 387 00:13:26,066 --> 00:13:27,718 - Really? - Yep. 388 00:13:27,719 --> 00:13:29,372 Where's the trust, partner? 389 00:13:29,373 --> 00:13:31,636 [tense music] 390 00:13:34,552 --> 00:13:36,118 The same caterer did my... Our wedding. 391 00:13:36,119 --> 00:13:38,207 - I didn't know that. - Uh-huh. 392 00:13:38,208 --> 00:13:39,948 That's right. - Yeah. 393 00:13:39,949 --> 00:13:40,993 Hm? [dog whines] 394 00:13:40,994 --> 00:13:42,037 - Absolutely. - It's great. 395 00:13:42,038 --> 00:13:43,038 - Okay. - I wish he would take 396 00:13:43,039 --> 00:13:43,997 an interest in my... - I mean... 397 00:13:43,998 --> 00:13:45,214 [indistinct chatter] 398 00:13:45,215 --> 00:13:46,434 [laughs] 399 00:13:47,739 --> 00:13:49,740 - You tried your cake? - No. 400 00:13:49,741 --> 00:13:50,872 Goodness. [gasps] 401 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:51,873 Thank you. 402 00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,396 Nice to see you. 403 00:13:53,397 --> 00:13:56,051 So are you a part of the crew now? 404 00:13:56,052 --> 00:13:57,748 Hey, did you crush those midterms? 405 00:13:57,749 --> 00:14:00,186 Yeah, I'm going to UCLA Law in the fall. 406 00:14:00,187 --> 00:14:02,492 - Oh, my God. Congrats. - Yeah, thanks. 407 00:14:02,493 --> 00:14:04,059 So we're gonna see a lot more of you. 408 00:14:04,060 --> 00:14:06,105 - Yeah, a whole lot more. - Awesome. 409 00:14:06,106 --> 00:14:08,107 "Crushed those midterms"? 410 00:14:08,108 --> 00:14:10,283 So a sign of the times, I tried to put an ad 411 00:14:10,284 --> 00:14:13,634 on that hot true crime podcast, "Based on a True Story." 412 00:14:13,635 --> 00:14:14,853 - Hot. - Brilliant. 413 00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,028 Such a hot show. 414 00:14:16,029 --> 00:14:18,030 - Is that not a genius idea? - Right? 415 00:14:18,031 --> 00:14:19,553 - Yeah. - Amazing. 416 00:14:19,554 --> 00:14:21,120 - Brilliant. - Yeah. 417 00:14:21,121 --> 00:14:22,861 - I love that. - Oh, my gosh, it gets me hot. 418 00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,123 - So brilliant. - It's so good. 419 00:14:24,124 --> 00:14:25,515 - I think it's fake. - Oh, yeah? 420 00:14:25,516 --> 00:14:28,214 Yeah, like, the, um... The Orson Welles thing? 421 00:14:28,215 --> 00:14:29,389 Uh, "War of the Worlds"? 422 00:14:29,390 --> 00:14:31,478 It could be just street theater. 423 00:14:31,479 --> 00:14:33,610 Absolutely not. Are you kidding me? 424 00:14:33,611 --> 00:14:34,916 You heard this guy's voice? 425 00:14:34,917 --> 00:14:36,570 That's a stabby voice. 426 00:14:36,571 --> 00:14:38,964 - What? - I buy it 100%. 427 00:14:38,965 --> 00:14:40,661 That guy is the killer. - Mm. 428 00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:43,098 - You should just ask them. - There's no chance. 429 00:14:43,099 --> 00:14:45,666 - [gasps] Yeah. - You never talk to anybody. 430 00:14:45,667 --> 00:14:46,928 - Oh. - No, you... 431 00:14:46,929 --> 00:14:49,017 You email a shell corporation. 432 00:14:49,018 --> 00:14:50,584 You pay them in crypto. 433 00:14:50,585 --> 00:14:54,240 Nobody knows where they are or who they are. 434 00:14:54,241 --> 00:14:56,807 - Wow. - I wouldn't pay them a cent. 435 00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,680 Paul, the guy is killing people. 436 00:14:59,681 --> 00:15:01,464 Okay, Richard. 437 00:15:01,465 --> 00:15:05,294 Last time I checked, there is still free speech in America. 438 00:15:05,295 --> 00:15:07,601 Okay, even if that speech is about 439 00:15:07,602 --> 00:15:09,081 how you just killed someone? 440 00:15:09,082 --> 00:15:10,430 Yeah, especially then. 441 00:15:10,431 --> 00:15:12,954 You... you wanna outlaw offensive speech? 442 00:15:12,955 --> 00:15:14,651 Who decides what goes on the list? 443 00:15:14,652 --> 00:15:16,175 Me? You? 444 00:15:16,176 --> 00:15:17,959 I listen to it, and I think 445 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:19,961 it's totally fucking disgusting. 446 00:15:19,962 --> 00:15:21,702 I think that you're right. 447 00:15:21,703 --> 00:15:23,312 I think that it's all true. 448 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,966 I think he's a serial killer. 449 00:15:24,967 --> 00:15:26,837 And I think the people that are helping him 450 00:15:26,838 --> 00:15:28,448 are far worse than he is. 451 00:15:28,449 --> 00:15:30,363 - Oh. What people? - Preach, sister. 452 00:15:30,364 --> 00:15:31,668 - There's an interviewer. - Hm? 453 00:15:31,669 --> 00:15:33,192 - Don't say that. - Right? I mean, somebody... 454 00:15:33,193 --> 00:15:34,628 - No, that's not your word. - Has to be helping him. 455 00:15:34,629 --> 00:15:38,110 The Westside Ripper has some kind of brain defect, 456 00:15:38,111 --> 00:15:40,634 but these parasites are making money off of him. 457 00:15:40,635 --> 00:15:42,636 They should go to prison longer than he does. 458 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,899 - [coughs] - That's a very good point. 459 00:15:44,900 --> 00:15:46,161 No, they really should. 460 00:15:46,162 --> 00:15:48,033 Think about it. - Mm. 461 00:15:48,034 --> 00:15:50,426 I don't know. I... 462 00:15:50,427 --> 00:15:52,646 There's nothing wrong with makin' money. 463 00:15:52,647 --> 00:15:54,865 I love money. You love money. 464 00:15:54,866 --> 00:15:56,389 You love money. 465 00:15:56,390 --> 00:15:57,868 Money's great. 466 00:15:57,869 --> 00:15:59,174 Puts food on the table, 467 00:15:59,175 --> 00:16:01,176 puts our kids through school. 468 00:16:01,177 --> 00:16:03,309 Carlos loves money. Right? 469 00:16:03,310 --> 00:16:04,614 What? 470 00:16:04,615 --> 00:16:06,877 Can't open your gym on the East Coast 471 00:16:06,878 --> 00:16:09,097 without money, right? 472 00:16:09,098 --> 00:16:11,360 Uh, it certainly would help, yeah. 473 00:16:11,361 --> 00:16:14,320 Mm, guys, I think it's time 474 00:16:14,321 --> 00:16:16,539 to start bidding on the items, right? 475 00:16:16,540 --> 00:16:18,802 I just wanna say I love Carlos' business plan. 476 00:16:18,803 --> 00:16:21,109 - Oh, my God. - And I... 477 00:16:21,110 --> 00:16:22,545 I want to invest in it. 478 00:16:22,546 --> 00:16:25,548 Wait, you... you want to invest in my gym? 479 00:16:25,549 --> 00:16:29,726 Yeah, I want to finance the whole thing by myself. 480 00:16:29,727 --> 00:16:31,032 [unsettling music] 481 00:16:31,033 --> 00:16:32,207 - Well, that's... - [laughs] 482 00:16:32,208 --> 00:16:33,469 Wait, are you serious? 483 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:34,731 100%. 484 00:16:34,732 --> 00:16:35,732 - Great. - Yeah? 485 00:16:35,733 --> 00:16:36,864 When do we start? 486 00:16:36,865 --> 00:16:38,735 ♪ 487 00:16:38,736 --> 00:16:40,694 [dishes clatter] - Now. 488 00:16:40,695 --> 00:16:42,696 - [laughs] - What? 489 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:44,567 [sharply] Now. 490 00:16:44,568 --> 00:16:45,873 Like, right now. 491 00:16:45,874 --> 00:16:47,006 Immediately. 492 00:16:48,572 --> 00:16:49,659 Immediately? 493 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:51,052 [laughs] He's joking. 494 00:16:51,053 --> 00:16:53,098 He's just... 495 00:16:53,099 --> 00:16:55,361 Go pack a bag, 496 00:16:55,362 --> 00:16:56,840 go to LAX, 497 00:16:56,841 --> 00:16:59,626 get on the red-eye, go to New York, get to work. 498 00:16:59,627 --> 00:17:02,194 It's gonna take a couple of years. 499 00:17:02,195 --> 00:17:04,022 I'm gonna need you there the whole time 500 00:17:04,023 --> 00:17:06,633 overseeing construction, the plans, 501 00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:10,158 and you're not gonna be able to come back here ever. 502 00:17:10,159 --> 00:17:15,598 ♪ 503 00:17:15,599 --> 00:17:18,079 Why you doing this? 504 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:20,560 Hm? - Hm? 505 00:17:20,561 --> 00:17:22,692 Why are you doing this right now? 506 00:17:22,693 --> 00:17:23,998 Is it 'cause I invited him? 507 00:17:23,999 --> 00:17:26,914 [laughs] What? 508 00:17:26,915 --> 00:17:28,437 I believe in Carlos. 509 00:17:28,438 --> 00:17:30,613 I like Carlos' business plan. 510 00:17:30,614 --> 00:17:33,747 Unless there's something that Carlos loves 511 00:17:33,748 --> 00:17:36,967 more than money here in LA. 512 00:17:36,968 --> 00:17:38,143 Then he should stay. 513 00:17:38,144 --> 00:17:41,450 ♪ 514 00:17:41,451 --> 00:17:43,452 Okay. 515 00:17:43,453 --> 00:17:47,239 I just transferred you $250,000. 516 00:17:47,240 --> 00:17:48,197 - [gasps] - What? 517 00:17:48,198 --> 00:17:50,155 [phone chimes] 518 00:17:50,156 --> 00:17:53,158 [music darkens] 519 00:17:53,159 --> 00:17:55,290 ♪ 520 00:17:55,291 --> 00:17:56,726 When I get my investment back, 521 00:17:56,727 --> 00:17:58,337 we'll go 50/50. 522 00:17:58,338 --> 00:18:01,166 If it works out, I'll finance a national rollout, 523 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:04,169 but you gotta go right now. 524 00:18:04,170 --> 00:18:11,568 ♪ 525 00:18:12,221 --> 00:18:13,135 [whispers] You don't have to go. 526 00:18:13,136 --> 00:18:16,050 Babe, please, stay for me. 527 00:18:16,051 --> 00:18:17,530 You gotta go, Carlos. 528 00:18:17,531 --> 00:18:19,880 ♪ 529 00:18:19,881 --> 00:18:21,100 I'm sorry. 530 00:18:22,013 --> 00:18:23,971 - [gasps] - Oh. 531 00:18:23,972 --> 00:18:27,106 [indistinct whispers] 532 00:18:33,677 --> 00:18:34,677 [door shuts] 533 00:18:36,332 --> 00:18:38,855 Are you fucking insane? 534 00:18:38,856 --> 00:18:43,077 ♪ 535 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,210 Why would you do that? 536 00:18:45,211 --> 00:18:47,691 Why the fuck do you even care? 537 00:18:48,953 --> 00:18:51,041 [scoffs] 538 00:18:51,042 --> 00:18:52,783 - God. - [clears throat] 539 00:18:54,089 --> 00:18:55,220 Hey, buddy. 540 00:18:55,221 --> 00:18:56,786 You got some interesting friends. 541 00:18:56,787 --> 00:19:00,181 Okay, let's help some teen runaways! 542 00:19:00,182 --> 00:19:01,878 [crying] 543 00:19:01,879 --> 00:19:04,098 Oh, my God. 544 00:19:04,099 --> 00:19:05,969 I cannot believe that happened. 545 00:19:05,970 --> 00:19:07,449 [soft dramatic music] 546 00:19:07,450 --> 00:19:08,450 You okay? 547 00:19:08,451 --> 00:19:10,017 I know you really loved Carlos. 548 00:19:10,018 --> 00:19:11,540 Oh, fuck Carlos. 549 00:19:11,541 --> 00:19:13,281 [sniffles] I never loved Carlos, 550 00:19:13,282 --> 00:19:16,458 but fuck him for leaving. 551 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:20,070 Well, I mean, we all know you're gonna be just fine. 552 00:19:20,071 --> 00:19:21,985 - Will I? - Yes. 553 00:19:21,986 --> 00:19:24,901 'Cause I feel like I'm pretty fucked right now. 554 00:19:24,902 --> 00:19:28,949 Ava, look at my life right now. 555 00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,516 Take a good look. 556 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,909 You gotta let me in on the podcast. 557 00:19:32,910 --> 00:19:35,608 Okay? It's... it's literally all that I got. 558 00:19:35,609 --> 00:19:37,610 ♪ 559 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:39,916 Okay, uh, maybe we should talk about this another time. 560 00:19:39,917 --> 00:19:41,962 No, no, no, 'cause... 'cause I can help you. 561 00:19:41,963 --> 00:19:44,182 You know, you... you know I'm great with marketing. 562 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:46,749 Right? And branding, and I know this world. 563 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:49,187 And we're the "Wine Crime" girls, right? 564 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:50,710 - Yeah, I can't do this. - Oh, well, I... 565 00:19:50,711 --> 00:19:52,625 Because do you remember that guy... 566 00:19:52,626 --> 00:19:54,540 That guy that I had a thing with in Cabo last year? 567 00:19:54,541 --> 00:19:57,020 'Cause he's huge at Wondery, 568 00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:58,152 and... and he's married, 569 00:19:58,153 --> 00:19:59,545 so he definitely owes me a solid. 570 00:19:59,546 --> 00:20:01,721 I can get him to make us a preemptive offer, 571 00:20:01,722 --> 00:20:04,419 you know, probably a really, really big one. 572 00:20:04,420 --> 00:20:06,073 - Oh, my God. - Yes. 573 00:20:06,074 --> 00:20:10,425 So some guy is gonna make us a multimillion-dollar offer 574 00:20:10,426 --> 00:20:12,253 because he went down on you in Cabo? 575 00:20:12,254 --> 00:20:15,169 Yeah, that is how the world works. 576 00:20:15,170 --> 00:20:17,040 How do you not know that? 577 00:20:17,041 --> 00:20:18,825 Okay, just trust me. 578 00:20:18,826 --> 00:20:20,914 You shouldn't get involved in this 'cause it's a mess. 579 00:20:20,915 --> 00:20:22,263 Okay, hold on. 580 00:20:22,264 --> 00:20:23,438 Don't come at me like you're my friend now. 581 00:20:23,439 --> 00:20:25,005 - What? - No, I know exactly 582 00:20:25,006 --> 00:20:26,572 what's going on. 583 00:20:26,573 --> 00:20:29,314 I mean, I know Matt's the killer. 584 00:20:29,315 --> 00:20:31,664 I have no fucking idea what you're talking about. 585 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,143 Okay. 586 00:20:33,144 --> 00:20:34,710 So if I took Matt's wine glass 587 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:36,451 and took it down to the police station, 588 00:20:36,452 --> 00:20:39,802 you're telling me that his DNA wouldn't be an exact match 589 00:20:39,803 --> 00:20:41,282 to the Westside Ripper? 590 00:20:41,283 --> 00:20:44,459 [foreboding music] 591 00:20:44,460 --> 00:20:46,505 If you tell a single person about this, 592 00:20:46,506 --> 00:20:49,290 I will fucking end you. 593 00:20:49,291 --> 00:20:50,901 But I already told Simon. 594 00:20:52,338 --> 00:20:54,208 - What? - Yeah. 595 00:20:54,209 --> 00:20:56,210 I told him. - You told... 596 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,820 You told Simon? Are you insane? 597 00:20:57,821 --> 00:21:00,170 Why would you do that? - Because he's a lawyer, 598 00:21:00,171 --> 00:21:01,563 and he will protect me! 599 00:21:01,564 --> 00:21:03,826 Oh, my God. He's not gonna protect you. 600 00:21:03,827 --> 00:21:06,307 He fucking hates you. He hates everything about you! 601 00:21:06,308 --> 00:21:08,483 Oh, sweetie. [scoffs] 602 00:21:08,484 --> 00:21:09,919 That's just married talk. 603 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:11,443 Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can't believe 604 00:21:11,444 --> 00:21:13,053 you would be stupid enough 605 00:21:13,054 --> 00:21:14,576 to fucking tell Simon! 606 00:21:14,577 --> 00:21:16,970 Oh, I absolutely am that stupid. 607 00:21:16,971 --> 00:21:18,493 And why not? 608 00:21:18,494 --> 00:21:21,714 I mean, it's worked pretty well for me so far, right? 609 00:21:21,715 --> 00:21:23,237 Tell me something. 610 00:21:23,238 --> 00:21:25,848 Who's the one living in a mansion 611 00:21:25,849 --> 00:21:28,677 in the Palisades, 612 00:21:28,678 --> 00:21:31,246 and who can't afford their mortgage in Mar Vista? 613 00:21:32,378 --> 00:21:33,900 Okay, you listen to me, 614 00:21:33,901 --> 00:21:36,424 you with your little 400 calories a day, 615 00:21:36,425 --> 00:21:38,644 your cool sculpt, and your amazing blowjobs 616 00:21:38,645 --> 00:21:39,775 you can't stop bragging about... 617 00:21:39,776 --> 00:21:41,864 - They are amazing. - Well, 618 00:21:41,865 --> 00:21:44,519 not amazing enough to keep Carlos around. 619 00:21:44,520 --> 00:21:46,347 So if you wanna go steal 620 00:21:46,348 --> 00:21:48,218 the Westside Ripper's wine glass, 621 00:21:48,219 --> 00:21:49,655 good fucking luck. 622 00:21:49,656 --> 00:21:50,830 Fuck you. 623 00:21:50,831 --> 00:21:52,527 Fuck you, 'cause Nathan will bring me in 624 00:21:52,528 --> 00:21:55,356 'cause he is nothing like you! 625 00:21:55,357 --> 00:21:57,358 He will cut me in! 626 00:21:57,359 --> 00:21:59,926 And my blowjobs are the fucking best! 627 00:21:59,927 --> 00:22:01,144 [sniffles] 628 00:22:01,145 --> 00:22:04,234 Everyone in LA knows it... 629 00:22:04,235 --> 00:22:05,541 and Dubai. 630 00:22:08,414 --> 00:22:09,675 900, $900. Ladies and gentlemen, 631 00:22:09,676 --> 00:22:10,980 it would be a dream within a dream 632 00:22:10,981 --> 00:22:12,895 if we got to $1,000. 633 00:22:12,896 --> 00:22:15,681 Do I hear 1, $1,000 634 00:22:15,682 --> 00:22:16,943 for the Edgar Allan Poe brick. 635 00:22:16,944 --> 00:22:18,248 How 'bout a 1,200? Who'll do a 1,200? 636 00:22:18,249 --> 00:22:19,641 There's a fan of blood and murder for 1,200. 637 00:22:19,642 --> 00:22:21,469 Hey, can I talk to you for a second? 638 00:22:21,470 --> 00:22:23,384 Hold on, these fuckers are trying to steal your brick. 639 00:22:23,385 --> 00:22:24,864 - $1,300. - Okay, but... 640 00:22:24,865 --> 00:22:27,562 [sighs] I need you for one second. 641 00:22:27,563 --> 00:22:29,259 - We're gonna lose the brick. - I don't care. 642 00:22:29,260 --> 00:22:30,957 Just come on. 643 00:22:30,958 --> 00:22:32,306 So here's the thing... Don't panic 644 00:22:32,307 --> 00:22:34,003 when I tell you this... But I lost the burner. 645 00:22:34,004 --> 00:22:35,004 - What? - I got it back, 646 00:22:35,005 --> 00:22:36,049 but I dropped it in Vegas, 647 00:22:36,050 --> 00:22:37,529 and then Ruby, she found it, 648 00:22:37,530 --> 00:22:38,573 and now she's blackmailing... - Oh, my fucking God. 649 00:22:38,574 --> 00:22:39,532 Us and wants in on everything. 650 00:22:39,533 --> 00:22:40,706 - Ruby? - Yes. 651 00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:41,621 How did you not know you dropped it? 652 00:22:41,622 --> 00:22:42,622 It was an accident! Okay? 653 00:22:42,623 --> 00:22:43,709 We had been using yours. 654 00:22:43,710 --> 00:22:44,840 I barely use mine. I thought it was 655 00:22:44,841 --> 00:22:46,146 in my bag, but it fell out. 656 00:22:46,147 --> 00:22:47,539 I know I fucked up, but she knows everything. 657 00:22:47,540 --> 00:22:49,410 She knows that Matt is the Westside Ripper, 658 00:22:49,411 --> 00:22:51,369 and she told me that she told Simon. 659 00:22:51,370 --> 00:22:54,110 - She told Simon? - Well, she might be bluffing. 660 00:22:54,111 --> 00:22:55,851 I don't fuckin' know, but... - This is fine. It's fine. 661 00:22:55,852 --> 00:22:57,070 [dog whines] We're gonna figure this out. 662 00:22:57,071 --> 00:22:58,376 But this place is toxic. 663 00:22:58,377 --> 00:22:59,986 Okay? I'm telling you, it's fucking toxic. 664 00:22:59,987 --> 00:23:02,249 They're nuts. I'm taking McEnroe outta here. 665 00:23:02,250 --> 00:23:04,164 Babe, who fucking cares about the dog right now? 666 00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:05,687 Just forget the fuckin' dog. 667 00:23:05,688 --> 00:23:07,298 [phone chimes] We have bigger problems. 668 00:23:08,778 --> 00:23:10,257 What? What? - Oh, shit. 669 00:23:10,258 --> 00:23:13,303 Alba, she just came out against us. 670 00:23:13,304 --> 00:23:14,479 No, not Alba. 671 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:15,784 Jessica Alba just tweeted, 672 00:23:15,785 --> 00:23:18,134 "If #BasedOnATrueStory is true, it's sickening. 673 00:23:18,135 --> 00:23:19,614 "If it's fake, it might be even worse. 674 00:23:19,615 --> 00:23:20,920 "America, we're better than this. 675 00:23:20,921 --> 00:23:23,662 #CancelBasedOnATrueStory." 676 00:23:23,663 --> 00:23:25,272 Oh, no, oh, no, oh, no. 677 00:23:25,273 --> 00:23:27,187 Okay, oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. Oh, my God. 678 00:23:27,188 --> 00:23:28,188 Okay, maybe it's not gonna track. 679 00:23:28,189 --> 00:23:29,842 Maybe no one's gonna pick this up. 680 00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:32,279 Oh, shit. Malia Obama just retweeted it. 681 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,280 [phones chiming] 682 00:23:33,281 --> 00:23:35,282 Oh, my God, so did Tom Hanks. 683 00:23:35,283 --> 00:23:37,458 - Kylie Jenner. - Oh, my God. 684 00:23:37,459 --> 00:23:39,373 So did Dame Judi Dench. 685 00:23:39,374 --> 00:23:41,288 - Oh, I'm so sorry, babe. - Oh, my God. 686 00:23:41,289 --> 00:23:43,769 - I know you love her. - Are you seeing this shit? 687 00:23:43,770 --> 00:23:44,987 - Yes. - We're gonna get canceled? 688 00:23:44,988 --> 00:23:47,033 Alba fucked us. - Okay, is there anyone 689 00:23:47,034 --> 00:23:48,121 that's for us? 690 00:23:48,122 --> 00:23:49,688 - For us? Um... - Who is? Look. 691 00:23:49,689 --> 00:23:50,950 - Kanye? - Okay, Kanye? 692 00:23:50,951 --> 00:23:52,430 Ugh, that's not good. 693 00:23:52,431 --> 00:23:53,474 The dude from NXIVM. 694 00:23:53,475 --> 00:23:54,736 Josh Duggar? 695 00:23:54,737 --> 00:23:56,085 Jared from Subway. 696 00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,347 - That's not good. - That's bad. 697 00:23:57,348 --> 00:23:58,479 No. 698 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,133 This is fuckin' awful. [phone chimes] 699 00:24:00,134 --> 00:24:01,308 There goes iTunes. 700 00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:02,614 - We lost iTunes? - Yes. 701 00:24:02,615 --> 00:24:03,745 Okay. 702 00:24:03,746 --> 00:24:05,007 Okay, here's what we're gonna do. 703 00:24:05,008 --> 00:24:06,531 You and me, we're gettin' outta here. 704 00:24:06,532 --> 00:24:08,141 We're takin' the dog. We'll call you from the road. 705 00:24:08,142 --> 00:24:09,577 You're taking the fucking dog? 706 00:24:09,578 --> 00:24:10,622 Our brand is under attack. 707 00:24:10,623 --> 00:24:11,927 We gotta act now. [dog whines] 708 00:24:11,928 --> 00:24:13,799 Here's our play, okay? 709 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,365 The snowflakes can suck it. 710 00:24:15,366 --> 00:24:17,890 We're gonna double down just like our fans want. 711 00:24:17,891 --> 00:24:19,239 I'm gonna go out tonight... - No. 712 00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,111 - And I will... - We are not doing that, okay? 713 00:24:22,112 --> 00:24:23,983 We have to do something, but we are not doing that. 714 00:24:23,984 --> 00:24:25,027 You guys, if we don't do something, 715 00:24:25,028 --> 00:24:27,334 we are gonna lose the Spotify deal. 716 00:24:27,335 --> 00:24:29,031 Do you understand? So what do we do? 717 00:24:29,032 --> 00:24:30,642 Wait, wait. Hold on a second. 718 00:24:30,643 --> 00:24:31,860 Wait a minute. Doesn't... 719 00:24:31,861 --> 00:24:35,037 doesn't Ruby know Alba? 720 00:24:35,038 --> 00:24:37,300 Yes. You know what? She was her body double 721 00:24:37,301 --> 00:24:38,650 in "Spy Kids 4." 722 00:24:38,651 --> 00:24:39,781 Remember, she had the wig and the costume on 723 00:24:39,782 --> 00:24:41,000 one night after shooting? 724 00:24:41,001 --> 00:24:42,610 She loves to hold that over me. 725 00:24:42,611 --> 00:24:43,829 She went down on Kid Rock. 726 00:24:43,830 --> 00:24:45,091 Someone took a photo. - Yeah. 727 00:24:45,092 --> 00:24:46,919 Why don't we get Ruby to tell Alba 728 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,660 that we'll release the fuckin' photo 729 00:24:48,661 --> 00:24:50,009 unless she pulls the post? 730 00:24:50,010 --> 00:24:51,184 Why would Alba care? 731 00:24:51,185 --> 00:24:52,359 It's not her in the picture. 732 00:24:52,360 --> 00:24:54,143 It doesn't matter. It looks like her. 733 00:24:54,144 --> 00:24:56,015 No, the tweet's out there. It's taken flight. 734 00:24:56,016 --> 00:24:57,233 You go talk to Ruby. 735 00:24:57,234 --> 00:24:58,539 I'll find out what Simon knows. 736 00:24:58,540 --> 00:25:00,802 Ruby's not gonna do shit for us right now. 737 00:25:00,803 --> 00:25:02,848 Trust me. - It's all we fuckin' got, 738 00:25:02,849 --> 00:25:04,414 guys. Let's go. Go. - [clapping] 739 00:25:04,415 --> 00:25:06,678 Big man, everyone! 740 00:25:06,679 --> 00:25:07,679 [laughs] 741 00:25:07,680 --> 00:25:09,550 Big fuckin' man. 742 00:25:09,551 --> 00:25:12,597 What kind of control freak buys his wife's boyfriend, huh? 743 00:25:12,598 --> 00:25:14,163 You're the one who invited him, honey, 744 00:25:14,164 --> 00:25:15,338 in front of all of our friends. 745 00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:16,905 Yeah, you know why? You know why? 746 00:25:16,906 --> 00:25:19,255 'Cause you can't get it up unless you call me "Mommy." 747 00:25:19,256 --> 00:25:21,214 Do you guys know that? What's up with that? 748 00:25:21,215 --> 00:25:23,564 You miss sucking on Mommy's titties, huh? 749 00:25:23,565 --> 00:25:26,045 Yes! Yes, I do! 750 00:25:26,046 --> 00:25:27,525 You know what? I actually like 751 00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,831 sucking Mom's tits better than yours! 752 00:25:29,832 --> 00:25:31,441 [dog barks] - Guys, that's not great 753 00:25:31,442 --> 00:25:32,834 for the dog. - Or anyone. 754 00:25:32,835 --> 00:25:36,185 Even if I stitched Michael Fassbender's foreskin 755 00:25:36,186 --> 00:25:38,100 onto Orlando Bloom's dick... [dog barking] 756 00:25:38,101 --> 00:25:40,233 And Frankensteined the perfect penis, 757 00:25:40,234 --> 00:25:42,148 I still couldn't get it up for you! 758 00:25:42,149 --> 00:25:43,541 Are you gonna finally stroke out 759 00:25:43,542 --> 00:25:46,239 and leave me with all your daddy's money, huh? 760 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:49,982 Come on. Come on, McEnroe. Come on. 761 00:25:49,983 --> 00:25:53,202 Okay, stay here, and stay quiet. 762 00:25:53,203 --> 00:25:54,595 I'm gonna get you outta here tonight. 763 00:25:54,596 --> 00:25:55,683 Okay? Yeah. 764 00:25:55,684 --> 00:25:57,250 You think that hurt me? 765 00:25:57,251 --> 00:25:59,078 You think sending him away hurt me? 766 00:25:59,079 --> 00:26:00,427 - Okay! - You can't fucking hurt me. 767 00:26:00,428 --> 00:26:01,994 What do you want? You want the spa day 768 00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:03,343 at the Peninsula, honey, huh? 769 00:26:03,344 --> 00:26:04,562 Do you want the deep tissue? 770 00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,259 Do you want me to buy that for you? 771 00:26:06,260 --> 00:26:07,956 You're gonna continue to buy my love! 772 00:26:07,957 --> 00:26:09,479 You're a fucking monster, 773 00:26:09,480 --> 00:26:11,481 and you've never loved anything 774 00:26:11,482 --> 00:26:14,223 in your entire life except that dog! 775 00:26:14,224 --> 00:26:16,617 That's it! How pathetic is that, everyone? 776 00:26:16,618 --> 00:26:19,098 - So now it's the dog's fault? - Oh, sure! 777 00:26:19,099 --> 00:26:20,403 Yeah, it's the dog's fault! [dog barking] 778 00:26:20,404 --> 00:26:22,231 Sure, it's the fucking dog's fault! 779 00:26:22,232 --> 00:26:23,581 You want me to shut the dog up? 780 00:26:23,582 --> 00:26:25,408 Yeah, go shut the fucking dog up! 781 00:26:25,409 --> 00:26:27,280 Okay. I'll shut the fucking dog up! 782 00:26:27,281 --> 00:26:28,281 Do you need Mommy's help? 783 00:26:28,282 --> 00:26:30,022 You think you can handle that? 784 00:26:30,023 --> 00:26:30,980 You got that, hon? 785 00:26:30,981 --> 00:26:32,633 Goddamn it! 786 00:26:32,634 --> 00:26:35,027 Hey, I know this is a terrible time. 787 00:26:35,028 --> 00:26:36,942 I'm so sorry, but, um, you're friends 788 00:26:36,943 --> 00:26:38,247 with Jessica Alba, right? 789 00:26:38,248 --> 00:26:40,032 - Yeah. - You are? 790 00:26:40,033 --> 00:26:42,251 Yeah, she's really sweet, actually. 791 00:26:42,252 --> 00:26:44,297 - Um... - Fuck off and die! 792 00:26:44,298 --> 00:26:45,385 [gunshot] [everyone gasps] 793 00:26:45,386 --> 00:26:46,429 Oh, my God! Oh, my God! 794 00:26:46,430 --> 00:26:48,127 Oh, my God. Oh, no. 795 00:26:48,128 --> 00:26:49,607 [gasping] No. [banging noises] 796 00:26:49,608 --> 00:26:51,478 - What's he doing? - Someone... 797 00:26:51,479 --> 00:26:53,306 No, no, no, no, no, no, no. 798 00:26:53,307 --> 00:26:55,047 - Uh... - No, you should stay here. 799 00:26:55,048 --> 00:26:56,483 ♪ 800 00:26:56,484 --> 00:26:57,963 Wait... 801 00:26:57,964 --> 00:26:59,312 - He's got a gun. - [gasps] 802 00:26:59,313 --> 00:27:00,487 - He's got a gun. - Oh, my God. 803 00:27:00,488 --> 00:27:02,054 - [whimpers] - Oh, my God. 804 00:27:02,055 --> 00:27:03,055 Watch out. Watch out! 805 00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:05,274 Oh, my God. 806 00:27:05,275 --> 00:27:06,928 What did you do? 807 00:27:06,929 --> 00:27:08,974 [dark music] 808 00:27:08,975 --> 00:27:10,671 I shut the dog up. 809 00:27:10,672 --> 00:27:12,455 [gasps] 810 00:27:12,456 --> 00:27:15,111 Oh, no. 811 00:27:17,984 --> 00:27:19,549 I shut it up. 812 00:27:19,550 --> 00:27:20,812 [everyone gasps] - Oh, my God. 813 00:27:20,813 --> 00:27:22,814 Simon, please put that down. 814 00:27:22,815 --> 00:27:24,816 [cries] 815 00:27:24,817 --> 00:27:27,688 What the fuck did you... - I shut the fucking dog up 816 00:27:27,689 --> 00:27:29,647 is what I did. 817 00:27:29,648 --> 00:27:32,650 [tense music] 818 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:36,131 ♪ 819 00:27:36,132 --> 00:27:39,526 Okay, easy, please. Please, please. 820 00:27:39,527 --> 00:27:43,530 No, no, no. 821 00:27:43,531 --> 00:27:45,619 [exhales] 822 00:27:45,620 --> 00:27:52,583 ♪ 823 00:27:56,152 --> 00:28:00,199 I'm gonna come around you, okay? 824 00:28:00,200 --> 00:28:05,552 Hey. Just focus on me. 825 00:28:05,553 --> 00:28:07,728 All right? 826 00:28:07,729 --> 00:28:10,688 That's good. That's good. 827 00:28:10,689 --> 00:28:14,693 [breathes deeply] Man, you must be in shock. 828 00:28:17,913 --> 00:28:20,741 You're not a bad person. 829 00:28:20,742 --> 00:28:24,658 We all have anger in us. 830 00:28:24,659 --> 00:28:27,052 I know. It's okay. 831 00:28:27,053 --> 00:28:28,270 It's okay. It's all right. 832 00:28:28,271 --> 00:28:29,794 It's good. Yeah, yeah. That's good. 833 00:28:29,795 --> 00:28:30,795 You don't wanna do this. 834 00:28:30,796 --> 00:28:33,101 Yeah. That's good. 835 00:28:33,102 --> 00:28:35,060 McEnroe! 836 00:28:35,061 --> 00:28:37,366 [everyone talking nervously] 837 00:28:37,367 --> 00:28:39,064 - Okay, Tory. - You all right? 838 00:28:39,065 --> 00:28:40,239 - I got you. - [wails] 839 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:41,240 I got you. 840 00:28:41,241 --> 00:28:42,589 He just lost his mind? 841 00:28:42,590 --> 00:28:46,071 - Oh, no! - [crying] 842 00:28:46,072 --> 00:28:47,899 I'm so sorry. 843 00:28:47,900 --> 00:28:49,901 [wails] 844 00:28:49,902 --> 00:28:52,077 [phone chimes] 845 00:28:52,078 --> 00:28:56,951 ♪ 846 00:28:56,952 --> 00:28:59,954 [tense music] 847 00:28:59,955 --> 00:29:06,657 ♪ 848 00:29:09,617 --> 00:29:12,532 [The Cowsills' "The Rain, the Park, Other Things"] 849 00:29:12,533 --> 00:29:16,405 ♪ I saw her sitting in the rain ♪ 850 00:29:16,406 --> 00:29:19,452 ♪ Raindrops falling on her 851 00:29:19,453 --> 00:29:21,454 ♪ She didn't seem to care 852 00:29:21,455 --> 00:29:26,459 ♪ She sat there and smiled at me ♪ 853 00:29:26,460 --> 00:29:28,113 ♪ Then I knew - ♪ I knew, I knew 854 00:29:28,114 --> 00:29:31,638 ♪ I knew, I knew - ♪ She could make me happy 855 00:29:31,639 --> 00:29:32,944 - ♪ Happy - ♪ Happy 856 00:29:32,945 --> 00:29:34,467 ♪ She could make me very happy ♪ 857 00:29:34,468 --> 00:29:36,295 ♪ Flowers in her hair 858 00:29:36,296 --> 00:29:37,949 ♪ In her hair 859 00:29:37,950 --> 00:29:39,820 ♪ Flowers everywhere 860 00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:42,040 ♪ Everywhere 861 00:29:42,041 --> 00:29:44,956 - ♪ I love the flower girl - ♪ I love the flower girl 862 00:29:44,957 --> 00:29:47,088 ♪ Oh, I don't know just why ♪ 863 00:29:47,089 --> 00:29:49,308 ♪ She simply caught my eye 864 00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:52,485 ♪ I love the flower girl - ♪ I love the flower girl 865 00:29:52,486 --> 00:29:54,313 ♪ She seemed so sweet and kind ♪ 866 00:29:54,314 --> 00:29:56,794 ♪ She crept into my mind 867 00:29:56,795 --> 00:30:02,800 ♪ To my mind - ♪ To my mind 868 00:30:02,801 --> 00:30:04,324 Nice shot, Dad. 60996

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