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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:16,581 [light violin music] 2 00:00:29,029 --> 00:00:31,857 - [Charlene] Well, Dr. Bowman. 3 00:00:31,901 --> 00:00:35,731 See, I've never really been in therapy before. 4 00:00:35,774 --> 00:00:37,776 How about I just start at the beginning? 5 00:00:37,820 --> 00:00:42,825 [footsteps thudding] [alarm sounding] 6 00:00:43,826 --> 00:00:44,957 Dear diary. 7 00:00:45,001 --> 00:00:46,698 The Nazis are coming. 8 00:00:49,092 --> 00:00:50,267 No, it's worse! 9 00:00:50,311 --> 00:00:51,094 My parents! 10 00:00:51,138 --> 00:00:53,444 [light jazz music] 11 00:00:53,488 --> 00:00:55,838 - [Mel] What the hell is wrong with you? 12 00:00:55,881 --> 00:00:57,187 You're a mashugana. 13 00:00:57,231 --> 00:01:00,147 Hiding in closets, thinking you're Anne Frank. 14 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,409 - [Charlene] I was always trying 15 00:01:01,452 --> 00:01:03,672 to run away from my oddball family, 16 00:01:03,715 --> 00:01:05,543 but there was no escaping them. 17 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,937 I was inevitably captured and dragged back to our 18 00:01:07,980 --> 00:01:10,113 bunker in Coney Island. 19 00:01:10,157 --> 00:01:12,289 My friend's mom told me not to come back. 20 00:01:12,333 --> 00:01:14,204 My mom made sure of it. 21 00:01:15,684 --> 00:01:16,467 - I don't want you to associate 22 00:01:16,511 --> 00:01:17,816 with those people. 23 00:01:17,860 --> 00:01:19,340 Understand? 24 00:01:19,383 --> 00:01:20,558 - [Charlene] Growing up with a pair 25 00:01:20,602 --> 00:01:23,909 of showbiz parents wasn't easy, believe me. 26 00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,129 I think years of doing shows in the Catskills and 27 00:01:26,173 --> 00:01:29,132 smoky nightclubs took its toll on them. 28 00:01:29,176 --> 00:01:31,482 It's no wonder I ended up in therapy. 29 00:01:31,526 --> 00:01:33,702 - If Charlene doesn't kill us, your driving is going to. 30 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:34,877 - [Mel] Oh, leave me alone. 31 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:36,400 - Don't tell me-- 32 00:01:36,444 --> 00:01:37,314 - You don't know what the hell you're talking about. 33 00:01:37,358 --> 00:01:38,794 - I know what I'm talking about. 34 00:01:38,837 --> 00:01:40,491 Worst driver I've ever been with in my whole life, 35 00:01:40,535 --> 00:01:41,449 I'll tell you right now. 36 00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:42,363 - [Mel] The worst driver-- 37 00:01:42,406 --> 00:01:44,539 - No, I'm a good driver, oh! 38 00:01:49,500 --> 00:01:50,936 - Look what you made me do! 39 00:01:50,980 --> 00:01:52,851 - What I made you, are these hands on the wheel? 40 00:01:52,895 --> 00:01:54,418 Don't tell me what I made you do! 41 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:55,680 - These hands around your neck, 42 00:01:55,724 --> 00:01:56,507 that's what these hands-- 43 00:01:56,551 --> 00:01:57,726 [truck horn honks] 44 00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:58,379 - Very nice, in front of your daughter. 45 00:01:58,422 --> 00:01:59,336 Very nice. 46 00:01:59,380 --> 00:02:03,862 [light piano and violin music] 47 00:02:03,906 --> 00:02:04,863 - [Charlene] One time my parents 48 00:02:04,907 --> 00:02:06,300 forced me to perform a violin 49 00:02:06,343 --> 00:02:08,954 recital in front of the whole family. 50 00:02:08,998 --> 00:02:12,306 Grandma's double Ds doubled as a music stand. 51 00:02:12,349 --> 00:02:14,656 I was ridiculed for my creativity. 52 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:17,137 Everybody laughed, including my sisters, 53 00:02:17,180 --> 00:02:20,401 Louise and Karen, and my obnoxious brothers, Dave and Cliff. 54 00:02:20,444 --> 00:02:23,055 [all laughing] 55 00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:27,582 When Grandma died, which was in no way related to the violin 56 00:02:27,625 --> 00:02:31,716 playing, my parents came into a large inheritance. 57 00:02:33,762 --> 00:02:35,938 - Silvers, blindfolds off! 58 00:02:38,549 --> 00:02:39,724 - Wow! 59 00:02:39,768 --> 00:02:41,248 - [Charlene] Coney Island was behind us, 60 00:02:41,291 --> 00:02:45,252 and my dad bought the most tasteless mansion in Manhattan. 61 00:02:46,427 --> 00:02:50,213 - I told you, Charlene, there's no firing squad. 62 00:02:50,257 --> 00:02:51,432 - [Charlene] When I was told there were 30 rooms 63 00:02:51,475 --> 00:02:52,998 and 11 and a half bathrooms, 64 00:02:53,042 --> 00:02:56,872 I figured there'd be plenty of places to hide. 65 00:02:59,135 --> 00:03:02,312 [light jazz music] 66 00:03:02,356 --> 00:03:04,445 - Hello, hello, hello, and welcome. 67 00:03:04,488 --> 00:03:05,794 I'm Mrs. Silver. 68 00:03:05,837 --> 00:03:07,839 Now this, of course, is the living room, 69 00:03:07,883 --> 00:03:10,233 or as I like to call it, Le Salon. 70 00:03:10,277 --> 00:03:12,627 We like everything around here immaculate. 71 00:03:12,670 --> 00:03:14,411 I like a clean mansion, all right? 72 00:03:14,455 --> 00:03:17,066 To begin with, these are my objects d'arte. 73 00:03:17,109 --> 00:03:17,893 Very rare. 74 00:03:17,936 --> 00:03:19,024 Mang Dynasty. 75 00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,114 Soft cloth, no nails, no nails. 76 00:03:22,158 --> 00:03:24,116 Scotchgard, nothing to worry about here. 77 00:03:24,160 --> 00:03:25,030 Uh-uh! 78 00:03:25,074 --> 00:03:26,641 Only the family on the carpet. 79 00:03:26,684 --> 00:03:27,468 I'm sorry. 80 00:03:27,511 --> 00:03:28,425 Come around this way. 81 00:03:28,469 --> 00:03:29,600 Over here, little objects. 82 00:03:29,644 --> 00:03:31,254 There, of course, is my china. 83 00:03:31,298 --> 00:03:32,473 It is locked. 84 00:03:32,516 --> 00:03:33,604 Nothing to do with you, but totally counted. 85 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:34,431 Just in case. 86 00:03:34,475 --> 00:03:35,432 Just in case. 87 00:03:35,476 --> 00:03:37,086 This we found in Transylvania. 88 00:03:37,129 --> 00:03:40,350 This is cleaned with Bab-O and a soft cloth. 89 00:03:40,394 --> 00:03:41,221 - Yeah, yeah. 90 00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:42,134 - Bab-O. 91 00:03:42,178 --> 00:03:42,874 Do you understand the word? 92 00:03:42,918 --> 00:03:43,788 Bab-O? 93 00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:45,312 Now when you dry it, never rub. 94 00:03:45,355 --> 00:03:46,835 We had a terrible thing happen. 95 00:03:46,878 --> 00:03:47,966 You blow. 96 00:03:48,010 --> 00:03:49,229 [blowing] 97 00:03:49,272 --> 00:03:50,447 - [Charlene] As fast as the agency sent 98 00:03:50,491 --> 00:03:51,970 over prospective servants, 99 00:03:52,014 --> 00:03:54,364 my mother would scare them away. 100 00:03:54,408 --> 00:03:58,847 My siblings and I were forced to do all the cleaning. 101 00:04:01,893 --> 00:04:04,766 Just as I was about to report them to the Child Welfare 102 00:04:04,809 --> 00:04:08,291 Department, super Lawrence arrived from Haiti, and we 103 00:04:08,335 --> 00:04:10,685 welcomed him with open arms. 104 00:04:12,164 --> 00:04:12,948 - [Mel] Hello! 105 00:04:12,991 --> 00:04:13,818 - Mr. Silver. 106 00:04:13,862 --> 00:04:15,211 - Ah, welcome, Lawrence. 107 00:04:15,255 --> 00:04:16,647 - Thank you, sir. 108 00:04:19,302 --> 00:04:20,129 What? 109 00:04:21,261 --> 00:04:23,219 Lord have mercy! 110 00:04:23,263 --> 00:04:24,220 Snow! 111 00:04:24,264 --> 00:04:25,047 [Mel laughing] 112 00:04:25,090 --> 00:04:25,917 Snow! 113 00:04:27,179 --> 00:04:28,659 - What do you think of your first snowfall? 114 00:04:28,703 --> 00:04:30,400 - It's beautiful, Mr. Silver. 115 00:04:30,444 --> 00:04:32,010 - Lawrence! 116 00:04:32,054 --> 00:04:33,185 I'm going to call you that. 117 00:04:33,229 --> 00:04:34,404 Isn't it exciting? 118 00:04:34,448 --> 00:04:36,493 Your first day with us and your first snowfall. 119 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:38,843 Welcome, welcome, welcome! 120 00:04:38,887 --> 00:04:40,149 Did the agency tell you? 121 00:04:40,192 --> 00:04:41,933 I used to be a singer. 122 00:04:41,977 --> 00:04:43,021 - [Mel] And a good one, too. 123 00:04:43,065 --> 00:04:44,458 [light piano music] [laughs] 124 00:04:44,501 --> 00:04:48,679 ♪ You made me love you 125 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,551 ♪ I didn't wanna do it 126 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:53,031 And here I am at the Playboy Club in Akron. 127 00:04:53,075 --> 00:04:55,643 They held me over six weeks, Lawrence. 128 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:56,992 Six weeks. 129 00:04:57,035 --> 00:04:58,254 Oh. 130 00:04:58,298 --> 00:05:00,212 And I was opening for Cookie Combo there. 131 00:05:00,256 --> 00:05:02,345 He thought I was going to be a star. 132 00:05:02,389 --> 00:05:04,129 And here I am pregnant. 133 00:05:04,173 --> 00:05:05,696 I was married to Mel already. 134 00:05:05,740 --> 00:05:06,523 [crying] 135 00:05:06,567 --> 00:05:07,350 Here I am pregnant. 136 00:05:07,394 --> 00:05:08,438 - Oh, ma'am. 137 00:05:08,482 --> 00:05:09,700 You were very pretty. 138 00:05:09,744 --> 00:05:10,701 - What do you mean "were"? 139 00:05:10,745 --> 00:05:12,529 She's still gorgeous. 140 00:05:12,573 --> 00:05:14,792 A rose never loses its bloom. 141 00:05:14,836 --> 00:05:15,619 - Mel! 142 00:05:15,663 --> 00:05:16,881 - Sorry, Mr. Silver. 143 00:05:16,925 --> 00:05:18,318 - Do you remember that song from my repertoire 144 00:05:18,361 --> 00:05:20,232 about the roses? 145 00:05:20,276 --> 00:05:21,059 - And the tulips. 146 00:05:21,103 --> 00:05:22,234 - That's the one! 147 00:05:22,278 --> 00:05:26,761 ♪ You made me sigh for 148 00:05:26,804 --> 00:05:28,284 ♪ I didn't wanna do it 149 00:05:28,328 --> 00:05:29,241 [laughs] 150 00:05:29,285 --> 00:05:31,592 ♪ I didn't wanna say it 151 00:05:31,635 --> 00:05:34,551 ♪ I need your love 152 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:38,468 - Come over here. 153 00:05:38,512 --> 00:05:40,688 [humming] 154 00:05:45,083 --> 00:05:45,910 Come here. 155 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:49,218 Lawrence, you have to relax. 156 00:05:49,261 --> 00:05:52,482 Right now they are in a Manhattan nightclub 157 00:05:52,526 --> 00:05:55,137 about 20 years ago, and my mom is on stage 158 00:05:55,180 --> 00:05:57,139 singing to my dad in the audience. 159 00:05:57,182 --> 00:05:58,227 Oh, gross. 160 00:05:58,270 --> 00:05:59,141 Oh, my God. 161 00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:04,102 [Klezmer music] 162 00:06:07,410 --> 00:06:08,498 - [Charlene] We were all banished 163 00:06:08,542 --> 00:06:11,806 to summer concentration camp, Camp Shalom. 164 00:06:11,849 --> 00:06:15,070 For the first time in my life, I had my freedom, but I felt 165 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,376 kind of lonely. 166 00:06:28,257 --> 00:06:29,780 [grunting] 167 00:06:29,824 --> 00:06:31,869 When I first saw Todd DeWitt, 168 00:06:31,913 --> 00:06:34,176 it was love at first sight. 169 00:06:35,133 --> 00:06:35,960 - [Todd] It likes to be touched. 170 00:06:36,004 --> 00:06:36,874 - [Charlene] Oh! 171 00:06:36,918 --> 00:06:37,788 Todd, stop it! 172 00:06:37,832 --> 00:06:39,442 [laughs] 173 00:06:39,486 --> 00:06:40,356 - [Todd] Look at it. 174 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:41,313 Look at it, it's twitching. 175 00:06:41,357 --> 00:06:42,314 [laughs] 176 00:06:42,358 --> 00:06:44,665 - [Charlene] You touch it enough. 177 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,667 I know what you do in here all alone. 178 00:06:46,710 --> 00:06:49,713 [upbeat rock music] 179 00:06:57,112 --> 00:06:57,895 Ow. 180 00:06:57,939 --> 00:06:59,114 Ouch. 181 00:06:59,157 --> 00:07:01,899 I thought this was supposed to feel good. 182 00:07:01,943 --> 00:07:03,379 - It feels great. 183 00:07:07,514 --> 00:07:09,994 [horn honks] 184 00:07:17,045 --> 00:07:19,221 - Well, my parents hated Todd. 185 00:07:19,264 --> 00:07:21,266 It didn't fit in with their new social status 186 00:07:21,310 --> 00:07:24,313 for me to be dating a boy who worked in a garage. 187 00:07:24,356 --> 00:07:26,750 My parents' idea of the perfect boyfriend 188 00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:28,839 was Robbie Applebaum. 189 00:07:28,883 --> 00:07:30,362 That's because his dad was a shrink 190 00:07:30,406 --> 00:07:31,886 and they figured the Applebaum doesn't 191 00:07:31,929 --> 00:07:34,062 fall far from the tree. 192 00:07:34,105 --> 00:07:37,935 A doctor's son was almost as good as a doctor. 193 00:07:42,331 --> 00:07:45,247 Robbie, look, please don't be hurt, 194 00:07:46,727 --> 00:07:48,206 you know, but what we're doing here, 195 00:07:48,250 --> 00:07:51,993 it has nothing to do with any emotional attachment 196 00:07:52,036 --> 00:07:53,734 that I feel towards you. 197 00:07:53,777 --> 00:07:54,604 - I know. 198 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:57,259 You're only doing this to punish your parents 199 00:07:57,302 --> 00:07:59,261 for liking me just because my dad's a shrink 200 00:07:59,304 --> 00:08:01,872 and we live in Kings Point. 201 00:08:01,916 --> 00:08:03,831 [chuckles] 202 00:08:03,874 --> 00:08:06,747 I get this from girls all the time. 203 00:08:08,662 --> 00:08:11,665 [upbeat rock music] 204 00:08:27,681 --> 00:08:28,899 - The sun is shining, 205 00:08:28,943 --> 00:08:30,466 but it's a black day for me, Lawrence. 206 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:31,728 No offense. 207 00:08:31,772 --> 00:08:33,251 Charlene is my first child I've ever had 208 00:08:33,295 --> 00:08:35,123 to go to a school for. 209 00:08:36,603 --> 00:08:39,388 - Excuse me, Mrs. Silver, but my oldest brother Edward 210 00:08:39,431 --> 00:08:41,259 once got so drunk that he 211 00:08:41,303 --> 00:08:43,740 actually propositioned a nun. 212 00:08:44,611 --> 00:08:46,787 - How tragic for your mother. 213 00:08:46,830 --> 00:08:48,571 Why are you telling me this, Lawrence? 214 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:50,660 - Because now, darlin', you feel better, 215 00:08:50,704 --> 00:08:53,097 knowing someone is worse off than you. 216 00:08:53,141 --> 00:08:55,099 - No one's worse off than I am, Lawrence. 217 00:08:55,143 --> 00:08:58,755 I have stretch marks that start at my ears. 218 00:08:59,974 --> 00:09:01,192 - Did Charlene have your 219 00:09:01,236 --> 00:09:02,977 permission to cut school twice this week 220 00:09:03,020 --> 00:09:04,282 and leave the field trip? 221 00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:06,023 - Absolutely not. 222 00:09:06,067 --> 00:09:07,329 She only has my permission to go 223 00:09:07,372 --> 00:09:08,896 to school and do her homework 224 00:09:08,939 --> 00:09:11,246 and shoo the homeless away from the front of our mansion. 225 00:09:11,289 --> 00:09:13,291 - My youngest sister Kathryn used to cut school 226 00:09:13,335 --> 00:09:15,685 and go drinking at the 24-hour discotheque 227 00:09:15,729 --> 00:09:18,558 where everyone was naked. 228 00:09:18,601 --> 00:09:20,211 - Here in Manhattan? 229 00:09:29,003 --> 00:09:31,353 - [Charlene] Now all I wanted was acceptance. 230 00:09:31,396 --> 00:09:32,615 The school year was starting, 231 00:09:32,659 --> 00:09:35,575 so I decided to go back with a new look. 232 00:09:35,618 --> 00:09:38,621 [upbeat rock music] 233 00:09:38,665 --> 00:09:40,623 I was totally convinced looking differently 234 00:09:40,667 --> 00:09:42,973 would make me feel differently. 235 00:09:43,017 --> 00:09:44,758 And, oddly enough, it did. 236 00:09:44,801 --> 00:09:46,498 With my mother's wig on my head, 237 00:09:46,542 --> 00:09:48,326 I was self-empowered and above 238 00:09:48,370 --> 00:09:51,242 what everybody else thought of me. 239 00:09:51,286 --> 00:09:54,289 Marjie Shuler, who is "Christie Brinkley meets Satan," 240 00:09:54,332 --> 00:09:57,161 snapped me out of that idea. 241 00:09:57,205 --> 00:09:59,947 - Hey, your hair really rings my bell. 242 00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,513 Ding dong! 243 00:10:01,557 --> 00:10:03,777 [laughing] 244 00:10:07,694 --> 00:10:08,999 - [Blanche] Charlene, you did not eat 245 00:10:09,043 --> 00:10:11,349 your delicious turkey roll. 246 00:10:12,263 --> 00:10:13,830 - [Charlene] I'm dieting. 247 00:10:13,874 --> 00:10:15,658 - You are not dieting. 248 00:10:15,702 --> 00:10:16,833 You lost your appetite because 249 00:10:16,877 --> 00:10:18,139 that girl pulled you wig off at 250 00:10:18,182 --> 00:10:20,620 school and you are humiliated. 251 00:10:22,273 --> 00:10:23,057 - You know, you don't have to 252 00:10:23,100 --> 00:10:25,189 look so happy about it! 253 00:10:25,233 --> 00:10:26,190 Okay? 254 00:10:26,234 --> 00:10:27,888 It was your wig, and she has it! 255 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,630 And I'm never going back to school! 256 00:10:30,673 --> 00:10:31,848 - Mel. 257 00:10:31,892 --> 00:10:33,850 Mel, did you hear that tone of voice? 258 00:10:33,894 --> 00:10:34,982 Mel? 259 00:10:35,025 --> 00:10:36,244 Mel, would you please tell 260 00:10:36,287 --> 00:10:37,767 her not to speak like that to her mother? 261 00:10:37,811 --> 00:10:40,988 - Don't talk to your mother like that! 262 00:10:48,909 --> 00:10:49,692 - [Charlene] Great. 263 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:50,562 [door slamming] 264 00:10:50,606 --> 00:10:52,086 Now everybody hated me. 265 00:10:52,129 --> 00:10:56,351 It was just one big happy family united against me. 266 00:10:56,394 --> 00:10:58,048 Except for Lawrence. 267 00:10:58,092 --> 00:11:00,007 He was my only ally. 268 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:03,271 Lawrence gave me the courage to stand up for myself. 269 00:11:03,314 --> 00:11:06,709 [light orchestral music] 270 00:11:15,675 --> 00:11:18,765 I sensed the satanic blonde presence. 271 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:21,855 [sighs] 272 00:11:21,898 --> 00:11:23,552 - The cremation ceremony for your wig will be 273 00:11:23,595 --> 00:11:25,293 at 3:30 behind the boys' gym. 274 00:11:25,336 --> 00:11:26,642 Will you attend? 275 00:11:28,209 --> 00:11:32,430 - Only if your bobby-socks boobs are fine enough with it! 276 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:34,737 [laughing] 277 00:11:36,173 --> 00:11:37,305 Bobby-socks boobs! 278 00:11:37,348 --> 00:11:39,263 She has bobby-socks boobs! 279 00:11:39,307 --> 00:11:40,134 Whoo! 280 00:11:45,356 --> 00:11:46,749 I loved Todd. 281 00:11:46,793 --> 00:11:48,925 If only my parents could have seen it. 282 00:11:48,969 --> 00:11:51,493 I tried reasoning with my dad. 283 00:11:54,322 --> 00:11:55,105 Dad. 284 00:11:55,149 --> 00:11:55,932 - Hmm? 285 00:11:55,976 --> 00:11:56,759 Oh. 286 00:11:56,803 --> 00:11:58,065 - Hi. 287 00:11:58,108 --> 00:11:59,893 Do you want some, um, cookies with your tea? 288 00:11:59,936 --> 00:12:01,198 - What tea? 289 00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,286 You just talked over it. 290 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:03,287 I can't drink that now. 291 00:12:03,331 --> 00:12:05,507 - Dad, I'm your daughter, okay? 292 00:12:05,550 --> 00:12:06,638 Our germs are related. 293 00:12:06,682 --> 00:12:07,465 It's just tea. 294 00:12:07,509 --> 00:12:08,292 - Oy! 295 00:12:08,336 --> 00:12:09,119 Ugh! 296 00:12:09,163 --> 00:12:10,294 Get me my eyewash. 297 00:12:10,338 --> 00:12:11,034 Do you have to spit when you talk? 298 00:12:11,078 --> 00:12:12,079 My goodness. 299 00:12:14,734 --> 00:12:17,737 [upbeat rock music] 300 00:12:19,129 --> 00:12:22,698 - [Charlene] Then I tried reasoning with my mom. 301 00:12:26,441 --> 00:12:31,011 - You are forbidden to see that Flatbush boy ever again! 302 00:12:32,490 --> 00:12:33,665 Lawrence! 303 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,711 They say you people are excellent athletes. 304 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:37,234 Go get her for me. 305 00:12:44,285 --> 00:12:45,068 - Charlene! 306 00:12:45,112 --> 00:12:45,895 Charlene! 307 00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:46,766 Hold it, child. 308 00:12:46,809 --> 00:12:47,592 Easy. 309 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:48,419 Take it easy. 310 00:12:48,463 --> 00:12:49,246 All right. 311 00:12:49,290 --> 00:12:50,857 Now good luck, hmm? 312 00:12:53,729 --> 00:12:54,861 And remember, keep your eyes 313 00:12:54,904 --> 00:12:57,037 open and your mouth shut before 314 00:12:57,080 --> 00:12:59,169 your foot can walk in. 315 00:12:59,213 --> 00:13:02,303 - Mine has already worn a path through my mouth. 316 00:13:02,346 --> 00:13:04,479 It's too late, Lawrence. 317 00:13:04,522 --> 00:13:05,523 - All right. 318 00:13:07,264 --> 00:13:10,267 [upbeat rock music] 319 00:13:20,364 --> 00:13:21,148 - [Charlene] Hi. 320 00:13:21,191 --> 00:13:22,018 - Oh, no. 321 00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:25,369 Now what are we gonna do? 322 00:13:25,413 --> 00:13:28,242 - Todd, they won't let me see you. 323 00:13:30,157 --> 00:13:31,332 - Come inside. 324 00:13:38,252 --> 00:13:39,993 Look, that's just it. 325 00:13:41,255 --> 00:13:44,606 What if your parents called the police? 326 00:13:44,649 --> 00:13:45,781 Hmm? 327 00:13:45,825 --> 00:13:47,870 The moment we're seen, I'll be arrested 328 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:49,785 for violating a minor. 329 00:13:50,612 --> 00:13:52,092 Call your parents. 330 00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:55,573 Tell them you're coming home. 331 00:13:57,662 --> 00:13:59,490 - What about us, Todd? 332 00:14:02,624 --> 00:14:06,236 - I, Charlene, maybe they're right. 333 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,282 Maybe it's for the best. 334 00:14:09,631 --> 00:14:12,895 I can't jeopardize my dream of one day owning 335 00:14:12,939 --> 00:14:14,679 my dad's gas station. 336 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:20,685 [kids giggling] [funk music] 337 00:14:21,948 --> 00:14:23,123 - Get in here! 338 00:14:24,994 --> 00:14:28,519 - Mother, Father, forgive me, for I have sinned. 339 00:14:28,563 --> 00:14:29,738 - Not good enough, Charlene. 340 00:14:29,781 --> 00:14:30,782 Do you understand me? 341 00:14:30,826 --> 00:14:31,609 Not good enough! 342 00:14:31,653 --> 00:14:32,567 - We were worried sick! 343 00:14:32,610 --> 00:14:33,524 - I never thought I would live 344 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:34,438 to see the day that my own 345 00:14:34,482 --> 00:14:35,700 daughter turned out to be, 346 00:14:35,744 --> 00:14:36,614 close your ears, children, a tramp! 347 00:14:36,658 --> 00:14:38,094 A tramp! 348 00:14:38,138 --> 00:14:40,880 I am ashamed, ashamed to be seen with you in public. 349 00:14:40,923 --> 00:14:42,229 - Go upstairs and don't come 350 00:14:42,272 --> 00:14:45,101 down until you go to college. 351 00:14:45,145 --> 00:14:46,581 - Are all my suitcases in? 352 00:14:46,624 --> 00:14:47,408 - [Mel] Everything's in. 353 00:14:47,451 --> 00:14:48,235 I have your typewriter. 354 00:14:48,278 --> 00:14:49,062 - Okay. 355 00:14:49,105 --> 00:14:49,932 Lawrence! 356 00:14:49,976 --> 00:14:51,281 Lawrence, we're leaving! 357 00:14:51,325 --> 00:14:52,456 - Oh, look at you! 358 00:14:52,500 --> 00:14:53,675 - Is that okay? 359 00:14:53,718 --> 00:14:54,632 - Very college. 360 00:14:54,676 --> 00:14:56,634 [laughs] 361 00:14:56,678 --> 00:14:58,941 - Okay, all right. 362 00:14:58,985 --> 00:14:59,942 - Remember everything I have told you. 363 00:14:59,986 --> 00:15:01,552 - Yeah, I always do. 364 00:15:01,596 --> 00:15:04,729 - Eat breakfast no matter what. 365 00:15:04,773 --> 00:15:06,035 It doesn't matter. 366 00:15:06,079 --> 00:15:07,341 Men like a girl with a little flesh on them. 367 00:15:07,384 --> 00:15:09,125 And promise me, whatever you do, 368 00:15:09,169 --> 00:15:11,301 remember the hitchhiking girl in Boston. 369 00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:12,346 That man was drunk-- 370 00:15:12,389 --> 00:15:13,303 - Hacked off her arms. 371 00:15:13,347 --> 00:15:14,652 - He chopped off her arms. 372 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:15,740 He's free, Charlene. 373 00:15:15,784 --> 00:15:16,741 - Okay, all right. 374 00:15:16,785 --> 00:15:17,873 - Her life was ruined. 375 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,353 She could never eat M&M's. 376 00:15:19,396 --> 00:15:21,094 She could never eat corn on the cob. 377 00:15:21,137 --> 00:15:23,270 She could never knit anymore. 378 00:15:23,313 --> 00:15:24,097 Be careful. 379 00:15:24,140 --> 00:15:24,967 - Okay, I'll be careful! 380 00:15:25,011 --> 00:15:25,794 Bye. 381 00:15:25,837 --> 00:15:26,664 - Bye. 382 00:15:26,708 --> 00:15:28,231 - Bye. 383 00:15:28,275 --> 00:15:29,102 Bye! 384 00:15:29,145 --> 00:15:29,929 Bye! 385 00:15:31,887 --> 00:15:33,062 Bye, Daddy. 386 00:15:33,106 --> 00:15:33,976 - Did mother tell you about 387 00:15:34,020 --> 00:15:34,977 the hitchhiker from Boston? 388 00:15:35,021 --> 00:15:36,152 - Yeah, yeah, she told me. 389 00:15:36,196 --> 00:15:37,545 - Be careful. 390 00:15:37,588 --> 00:15:38,502 - Okay. 391 00:15:38,546 --> 00:15:39,416 Wait, where's my typewriter? 392 00:15:39,460 --> 00:15:40,678 - There's your typewriter. 393 00:15:40,722 --> 00:15:41,505 - Call! 394 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:42,767 Call! 395 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:43,986 - [Charlene Voiceover] I was free at last. 396 00:15:44,030 --> 00:15:46,336 I was off to college to pursue my dreams. 397 00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:48,556 It turned out being grounded so much helped me 398 00:15:48,599 --> 00:15:50,862 develop a vivid imagination. 399 00:15:50,906 --> 00:15:52,125 I was convinced I was going to 400 00:15:52,168 --> 00:15:54,692 be the next great American writer. 401 00:15:54,736 --> 00:15:55,563 - Bye! 402 00:15:56,912 --> 00:16:00,307 [light orchestral music] 403 00:16:04,050 --> 00:16:05,660 - [Charlene] When I first saw Ray, 404 00:16:05,703 --> 00:16:07,923 it was love at first sight. 405 00:16:21,067 --> 00:16:21,893 - Charlene. 406 00:16:21,937 --> 00:16:23,373 - What? 407 00:16:23,417 --> 00:16:27,987 - You're like a sports car parked at the curb. 408 00:16:28,030 --> 00:16:31,686 Even when it sits there, it still looks fast. 409 00:16:32,600 --> 00:16:34,645 - It's my energy. 410 00:16:34,689 --> 00:16:39,215 I've been told I have an aura of noise about me. 411 00:16:39,259 --> 00:16:40,086 - You do. 412 00:16:43,741 --> 00:16:47,049 I'm gonna be the last boyfriend you'll ever have. 413 00:16:47,093 --> 00:16:50,618 - Are you planning to marry me or kill me? 414 00:16:55,623 --> 00:16:56,450 [knocking on door] 415 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:57,320 - Enter. 416 00:17:07,069 --> 00:17:09,724 - Mom, Dad, I'm getting married. 417 00:17:11,943 --> 00:17:13,206 - Charlene, I, I didn't even 418 00:17:13,249 --> 00:17:15,121 know you were going with anyone. 419 00:17:15,164 --> 00:17:16,992 - Well, I was afraid if I told 420 00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,082 you about Ray, you'd forbid me to see him. 421 00:17:20,126 --> 00:17:22,084 - Did he at least give you an engagement ring? 422 00:17:22,128 --> 00:17:23,085 - Yeah. 423 00:17:23,129 --> 00:17:23,912 - May I see it, please? 424 00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:25,435 May I just see it? 425 00:17:27,220 --> 00:17:28,047 [laughs] 426 00:17:28,090 --> 00:17:29,526 Oh, Charlene. 427 00:17:29,570 --> 00:17:30,832 That is a pearl! 428 00:17:32,007 --> 00:17:32,964 Not an engagement ring, 429 00:17:33,008 --> 00:17:34,444 that is a cocktail ring. 430 00:17:34,488 --> 00:17:35,576 Learn the difference. 431 00:17:35,619 --> 00:17:37,099 An engagement ring is a diamond, 432 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:39,623 a cocktail ring is a pearl. 433 00:17:39,667 --> 00:17:40,842 I don't even want to hear about 434 00:17:40,885 --> 00:17:42,104 this boy anymore, do you understand me? 435 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:43,018 I don't want hear about him until 436 00:17:43,062 --> 00:17:44,150 you get a real engagement ring. 437 00:17:44,193 --> 00:17:45,803 - He's a loser! 438 00:17:45,847 --> 00:17:46,674 Lose him! 439 00:17:47,805 --> 00:17:49,329 - He's not a loser. 440 00:17:54,421 --> 00:17:56,031 He has his own car. 441 00:18:01,167 --> 00:18:05,475 [glass shattering] [all cheering] 442 00:18:05,519 --> 00:18:06,433 No sooner did I say 443 00:18:06,476 --> 00:18:07,956 I do when my sister said-- 444 00:18:07,999 --> 00:18:09,305 - And I do, too! 445 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,830 Joel and I have just decided to get married. 446 00:18:12,874 --> 00:18:13,701 - Hey! 447 00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,140 - [Charlene Voiceover] Goosed! 448 00:18:18,184 --> 00:18:20,708 On this, my very own wedding day, 449 00:18:20,751 --> 00:18:22,188 she announces her engagement 450 00:18:22,231 --> 00:18:24,059 to Mr. Harvard Law School, 451 00:18:24,103 --> 00:18:28,411 and I was marrying a man who worked at Carpet World. 452 00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,164 - Where am I? 453 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,820 - We're in the hospital. 454 00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,648 - How did we get here? 455 00:18:47,691 --> 00:18:49,345 What happened to us? 456 00:18:50,738 --> 00:18:53,958 - We had a race car accident on the way to the hotel. 457 00:18:54,002 --> 00:18:55,090 A driver on the other side of 458 00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:56,700 the road crashed right into us! 459 00:18:56,744 --> 00:18:57,701 No witnesses! 460 00:18:57,745 --> 00:18:58,789 No insurance! 461 00:18:58,833 --> 00:19:01,401 The car vanished into thin air! 462 00:19:02,837 --> 00:19:04,708 - It took eight months for me to realize that it 463 00:19:04,752 --> 00:19:08,016 was God behind the wheel of the car that crashed us. 464 00:19:08,059 --> 00:19:10,888 Does that answer your question? 465 00:19:10,932 --> 00:19:12,803 He must have been trying to stop us from continuing our 466 00:19:12,847 --> 00:19:14,805 hour-long marriage. 467 00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:15,763 No. 468 00:19:15,806 --> 00:19:16,851 Do you speak any English? 469 00:19:16,894 --> 00:19:17,808 - Charlene! 470 00:19:17,852 --> 00:19:18,983 - What? 471 00:19:19,027 --> 00:19:20,811 - I'm leaving you. 472 00:19:20,855 --> 00:19:22,813 This isn't working out. 473 00:19:22,857 --> 00:19:25,816 [upbeat rock music] 474 00:19:35,261 --> 00:19:37,350 - [Charlene Voiceover] My disastrous first marriage over, 475 00:19:37,393 --> 00:19:40,440 I decided to concentrate on my writing career. 476 00:19:40,483 --> 00:19:42,920 After sending out over 1,000 resumes, 477 00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:45,967 I finally landed my first interview. 478 00:19:53,453 --> 00:19:55,716 [laughing] 479 00:19:57,718 --> 00:19:58,893 [clears throat] 480 00:19:58,936 --> 00:20:01,548 - Well, it, it's a nice resume, you know? 481 00:20:01,591 --> 00:20:03,245 It's not a great resume. 482 00:20:03,289 --> 00:20:05,943 See, what's missing from this resume 483 00:20:05,987 --> 00:20:09,425 is I don't hear it say, "Hire me." 484 00:20:09,469 --> 00:20:11,993 A great resume says, "Hire me." 485 00:20:12,036 --> 00:20:12,994 You hear it. 486 00:20:13,037 --> 00:20:13,995 Do you hear anything? 487 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:15,910 I'm not hearing anything. 488 00:20:15,953 --> 00:20:17,868 I'm listening, but I don't hear. 489 00:20:17,912 --> 00:20:20,828 A great resume goes, "Please hire me! 490 00:20:20,871 --> 00:20:24,135 "Hire me right now or I'll die in the streets! 491 00:20:24,179 --> 00:20:25,702 "Oh, God, hire me!" 492 00:20:28,009 --> 00:20:30,185 And I don't hear that here. 493 00:20:31,273 --> 00:20:33,275 - Okay, um, Mr. Levy, 494 00:20:33,319 --> 00:20:34,842 I know my resume doesn't sound 495 00:20:34,885 --> 00:20:36,670 desperate enough to you, 496 00:20:36,713 --> 00:20:40,064 but I would do anything to get this job. 497 00:20:42,502 --> 00:20:43,285 - Look. 498 00:20:43,329 --> 00:20:44,286 - What? 499 00:20:44,330 --> 00:20:45,505 - I was thinking. 500 00:20:45,548 --> 00:20:48,290 You know, I could easily hire you. 501 00:20:48,334 --> 00:20:49,813 - Really? 502 00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:53,513 - But see, the problem is I'd be killing your career. 503 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:54,731 - You would? 504 00:20:54,775 --> 00:20:56,167 - I'd be taking your career and crushing, ow! 505 00:20:56,211 --> 00:20:57,168 Ow! 506 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:57,995 You did it again. 507 00:20:58,039 --> 00:20:58,822 - I'm sorry. 508 00:20:58,866 --> 00:21:00,694 - Like five fishhooks. 509 00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:02,826 - Sorry. 510 00:21:02,870 --> 00:21:04,872 [sighs] 511 00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:07,178 I'd be killing your career. 512 00:21:07,222 --> 00:21:09,964 You're too good to be doing comic books. 513 00:21:10,007 --> 00:21:10,791 - I am? 514 00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:12,183 - Yeah. 515 00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:14,055 I mean, look, did Shakespeare do comic books? 516 00:21:14,098 --> 00:21:15,186 - I don't know. 517 00:21:15,230 --> 00:21:16,318 Did he? 518 00:21:16,362 --> 00:21:18,015 - No, he didn't. 519 00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:19,452 [sighs] 520 00:21:19,495 --> 00:21:22,846 Anyway, look, I think you should go out 521 00:21:22,890 --> 00:21:24,239 to the West Coast. 522 00:21:24,283 --> 00:21:25,501 - Really? 523 00:21:25,545 --> 00:21:27,503 - That way, you could live and move ahead. 524 00:21:27,547 --> 00:21:30,550 That's where you could spread your wings. 525 00:21:30,593 --> 00:21:31,420 - Oh. 526 00:21:32,856 --> 00:21:34,075 Oh, I see. 527 00:21:34,118 --> 00:21:36,338 Now that I've spread my legs, you mean. 528 00:21:36,382 --> 00:21:37,296 Is that what you're saying? 529 00:21:37,339 --> 00:21:38,775 Okay, so I probably shouldn't 530 00:21:38,819 --> 00:21:40,168 have slept with him. 531 00:21:40,211 --> 00:21:42,910 But he did give me one good piece of advice. 532 00:21:42,953 --> 00:21:46,261 I decided to join my sister in LA. 533 00:21:46,305 --> 00:21:48,698 Louise says there are six things a woman 534 00:21:48,742 --> 00:21:50,657 needs to get ahead here. 535 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,399 White clothes, blonde highlights, 536 00:21:56,706 --> 00:21:58,578 a tan, breast implants, 537 00:22:01,798 --> 00:22:05,367 a good agent, and the most important thing, 538 00:22:07,935 --> 00:22:08,762 a psychic. 539 00:22:09,763 --> 00:22:10,807 Oh, man. 540 00:22:10,851 --> 00:22:11,982 - Pack, Charlene. 541 00:22:12,026 --> 00:22:13,723 Your sister's in therapy now 542 00:22:13,767 --> 00:22:16,639 and is finally putting herself first. 543 00:22:16,683 --> 00:22:18,293 - [Charlene] You're gonna throw me out, Louise? 544 00:22:18,337 --> 00:22:19,294 Again? 545 00:22:19,338 --> 00:22:20,556 I just moved to Los Angeles. 546 00:22:20,600 --> 00:22:21,383 I thought-- 547 00:22:21,427 --> 00:22:22,253 - Louise. 548 00:22:22,297 --> 00:22:23,167 Louise. 549 00:22:23,211 --> 00:22:24,952 I see you're gonna sell two TV 550 00:22:24,995 --> 00:22:27,302 scripts and marry your boyfriend Mark. 551 00:22:27,346 --> 00:22:28,129 - Oh! 552 00:22:28,172 --> 00:22:29,609 - Congratulations. 553 00:22:31,611 --> 00:22:33,090 - You two have a brother 554 00:22:33,134 --> 00:22:35,005 and he's gonna need his own private 555 00:22:35,049 --> 00:22:36,703 bank to store all the money he's 556 00:22:36,746 --> 00:22:38,400 gonna make as a TV producer. 557 00:22:38,444 --> 00:22:39,575 - [Charlene] Wow. 558 00:22:39,619 --> 00:22:41,751 - It's really kind of exciting. 559 00:22:41,795 --> 00:22:42,970 Oh. 560 00:22:43,013 --> 00:22:44,275 Oh. 561 00:22:44,319 --> 00:22:45,451 - [Charlene] What? 562 00:22:45,494 --> 00:22:47,104 - I see two sisters working with him. 563 00:22:47,148 --> 00:22:48,454 - Oh! 564 00:22:48,497 --> 00:22:50,630 - [Psychic] Louise and Karen. 565 00:22:50,673 --> 00:22:51,587 - Karen? 566 00:22:51,631 --> 00:22:53,110 Wait a minute, um, Miss Psychic. 567 00:22:53,154 --> 00:22:55,939 As you know, I'm paying good money for this 568 00:22:55,983 --> 00:22:57,245 reading, and I don't wanna hear 569 00:22:57,288 --> 00:22:58,725 about Cliff and Dave and Karen. 570 00:22:58,768 --> 00:22:59,900 I wanna hear about me. 571 00:22:59,943 --> 00:23:00,727 What about me? 572 00:23:00,770 --> 00:23:01,945 What happens to me? 573 00:23:01,989 --> 00:23:03,425 - Charlene, I have your cup right here. 574 00:23:03,469 --> 00:23:04,426 - [Charlene] You do? 575 00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:05,296 - [Psychic] Charlene? 576 00:23:05,340 --> 00:23:06,123 - What? 577 00:23:06,167 --> 00:23:07,516 - You're going to marry 578 00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,127 a doctor named Steven. 579 00:23:10,171 --> 00:23:11,564 - [Louise] Ooh. 580 00:23:11,607 --> 00:23:14,088 - I'm gonna marry a doctor? 581 00:23:14,131 --> 00:23:16,090 A doctor named Steven? 582 00:23:16,133 --> 00:23:17,570 - [Psychic] That's what it says right here. 583 00:23:17,613 --> 00:23:18,484 - Oh, my God! 584 00:23:18,527 --> 00:23:19,789 Oh, wait, wait, wait, wait. 585 00:23:19,833 --> 00:23:22,052 Does it, how, how do I meet him? 586 00:23:22,096 --> 00:23:24,185 What, what do I do? 587 00:23:24,228 --> 00:23:26,709 - Just live your life and he'll present himself. 588 00:23:26,753 --> 00:23:27,710 - Live my life? 589 00:23:27,754 --> 00:23:28,972 What life? 590 00:23:29,016 --> 00:23:29,799 - Charlene. 591 00:23:29,843 --> 00:23:31,148 - [Charlene] What? 592 00:23:31,192 --> 00:23:33,150 - You, too, will know success, 593 00:23:33,194 --> 00:23:35,370 but first you will know Steven. 594 00:23:35,414 --> 00:23:37,981 [glass shattering] [all cheering] 595 00:23:38,025 --> 00:23:40,331 - [Charlene] Lola's predictions were coming true. 596 00:23:40,375 --> 00:23:44,597 Louise was getting married, and I hoped I was next. 597 00:23:48,209 --> 00:23:49,210 - Mel! 598 00:23:49,253 --> 00:23:50,429 Mel! 599 00:23:50,472 --> 00:23:51,647 - Dad? 600 00:23:51,691 --> 00:23:52,648 Oh, my God! 601 00:23:52,692 --> 00:23:53,649 Daddy! 602 00:23:53,693 --> 00:23:55,042 Daddy! 603 00:23:55,085 --> 00:23:56,565 Are you all right? 604 00:23:57,523 --> 00:23:59,046 Daddy, talk to me! 605 00:24:00,874 --> 00:24:03,006 - I hate this family so much! 606 00:24:03,050 --> 00:24:05,661 Please send an ambulance right away! 607 00:24:05,705 --> 00:24:07,402 My father's having a heart attack! 608 00:24:07,446 --> 00:24:08,577 At my wedding! 609 00:24:08,621 --> 00:24:09,448 - [Charlene] Oh, my God! 610 00:24:09,491 --> 00:24:10,274 Daddy, don't die! 611 00:24:10,318 --> 00:24:11,145 Please don't die! 612 00:24:11,188 --> 00:24:13,321 We love you so much! 613 00:24:13,364 --> 00:24:14,496 Please, Daddy! 614 00:24:14,540 --> 00:24:15,715 Breathe! 615 00:24:15,758 --> 00:24:18,326 - Charlene, get the hell off of me! 616 00:24:20,807 --> 00:24:21,590 - Mel! 617 00:24:21,634 --> 00:24:22,548 Mel, talk to me! 618 00:24:22,591 --> 00:24:23,766 Say something! 619 00:24:23,810 --> 00:24:26,465 - Are the caterers still gonna charge us? 620 00:24:26,508 --> 00:24:27,509 - [Blanche] Charlene, get his Rolex. 621 00:24:27,553 --> 00:24:29,424 They steal everything. 622 00:24:37,911 --> 00:24:39,652 - Doc, what happened to me? 623 00:24:39,695 --> 00:24:41,392 - Too much excitement 624 00:24:41,436 --> 00:24:43,960 and a little indigestion, Mel. 625 00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:45,135 You're gonna be fine. 626 00:24:45,179 --> 00:24:46,093 - [All] Ah! 627 00:24:47,311 --> 00:24:48,748 - I only hope my heart is half 628 00:24:48,791 --> 00:24:51,620 as strong as yours when I'm 10 years younger than you. 629 00:24:51,664 --> 00:24:52,534 - Aw. 630 00:24:52,578 --> 00:24:54,580 - Excuse me, Dr. Steven? 631 00:24:56,059 --> 00:24:58,975 May I have a word with you? 632 00:24:59,019 --> 00:25:00,237 - Certainly. 633 00:25:00,281 --> 00:25:01,064 - Is this covered by the insurance? 634 00:25:01,108 --> 00:25:02,022 - I made a phone call. 635 00:25:02,065 --> 00:25:02,849 Not only are we covered, 636 00:25:02,892 --> 00:25:04,415 we're making money, Mel. 637 00:25:04,459 --> 00:25:06,026 - [Charlene] My name's Charlene. 638 00:25:06,069 --> 00:25:07,201 - Hi, Charlene. 639 00:25:07,244 --> 00:25:08,289 - I have a little problem, 640 00:25:08,332 --> 00:25:09,203 and I was wondering if you 641 00:25:09,246 --> 00:25:10,421 could help me with it. 642 00:25:10,465 --> 00:25:11,553 - What's the problem? 643 00:25:11,597 --> 00:25:13,294 - I, too, have a tremendous 644 00:25:13,337 --> 00:25:15,078 pain in my heart, and I'm not 645 00:25:15,122 --> 00:25:18,038 a hypochondriac like my father. 646 00:25:18,081 --> 00:25:20,519 - What can I do for you, Charlene? 647 00:25:20,562 --> 00:25:22,912 - Well, I was wondering if you 648 00:25:22,956 --> 00:25:25,524 might like to examine my chest. 649 00:25:27,482 --> 00:25:28,701 - I'd be delighted. 650 00:25:28,744 --> 00:25:29,702 - Thank you. 651 00:25:31,878 --> 00:25:33,314 [inhales] [exhales] 652 00:25:33,357 --> 00:25:34,184 - Wow. 653 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:37,710 You have a very big heart. 654 00:25:37,753 --> 00:25:42,105 - Um, that's because I'm not wearing a bra. 655 00:25:42,149 --> 00:25:44,281 [giggles] 656 00:25:44,325 --> 00:25:45,848 - I have a nine-inch needle that can 657 00:25:45,892 --> 00:25:48,024 cure pretty much anything. 658 00:25:48,068 --> 00:25:49,243 - Nine inches? 659 00:25:50,418 --> 00:25:51,506 Will it hurt? 660 00:25:52,463 --> 00:25:53,769 - Yes. 661 00:25:53,813 --> 00:25:57,251 But I could give it to you orally. 662 00:25:57,294 --> 00:25:59,383 - Well, Doctor, I think I may 663 00:25:59,427 --> 00:26:00,602 be in need of that kind of 664 00:26:00,646 --> 00:26:01,951 extreme treatment sometime 665 00:26:01,995 --> 00:26:03,474 in the very near future, 666 00:26:03,518 --> 00:26:06,042 so, um, do you have a card or-- 667 00:26:06,086 --> 00:26:07,304 - Absolutely. 668 00:26:07,348 --> 00:26:08,958 - Any way I can get a hold of you? 669 00:26:09,002 --> 00:26:10,438 Telephone? 670 00:26:10,481 --> 00:26:11,787 Pager number? 671 00:26:11,831 --> 00:26:12,745 Fax, perhaps? 672 00:26:12,788 --> 00:26:13,615 - Oh. 673 00:26:16,531 --> 00:26:17,967 - Are these your children? 674 00:26:18,011 --> 00:26:21,623 - Yes, except for the Asian albino. 675 00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:23,973 - Wow, so many of them. 676 00:26:24,017 --> 00:26:26,585 Your wife must be very fertile. 677 00:26:27,586 --> 00:26:29,283 - Actually, my ex-wife. 678 00:26:29,326 --> 00:26:30,023 - Oh. 679 00:26:30,066 --> 00:26:30,850 - Very fertile. 680 00:26:30,893 --> 00:26:31,720 - Hmm. 681 00:26:32,765 --> 00:26:33,983 - Listen, I'm actually moving 682 00:26:34,027 --> 00:26:35,158 back to Los Angeles to be near 683 00:26:35,202 --> 00:26:36,333 the big-headed one. 684 00:26:36,377 --> 00:26:37,378 He's developed a complex about 685 00:26:37,421 --> 00:26:38,814 the size of his head. 686 00:26:38,858 --> 00:26:40,816 - Well, what a coincidence. 687 00:26:40,860 --> 00:26:42,557 I recently moved to Los Angeles 688 00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:45,429 myself to get away from my family. 689 00:26:45,473 --> 00:26:47,997 I have a complex about the size of my family. 690 00:26:48,041 --> 00:26:49,651 [laughs] 691 00:26:49,695 --> 00:26:51,261 - Well, why don't we get together? 692 00:26:51,305 --> 00:26:53,002 Here's my number. 693 00:26:53,046 --> 00:26:56,745 I'd love to play Hide the Thermometer with you. 694 00:26:56,789 --> 00:26:58,007 - I happen to be very good with 695 00:26:58,051 --> 00:27:00,880 long, cylindrical objects. 696 00:27:00,923 --> 00:27:01,707 - Good. 697 00:27:01,750 --> 00:27:05,058 [dramatic organ music] 698 00:27:09,062 --> 00:27:11,717 - Would you like to examine my chest again? 699 00:27:11,760 --> 00:27:12,631 - Please. 700 00:27:17,592 --> 00:27:19,028 [dramatic organ music] 701 00:27:19,072 --> 00:27:21,640 ♪ Does he live 702 00:27:24,904 --> 00:27:26,166 - Before my date, 703 00:27:26,209 --> 00:27:28,777 I had a major makeover at the Beverly Center. 704 00:27:28,821 --> 00:27:31,824 I hope he liked the new redheaded me. 705 00:27:34,957 --> 00:27:36,393 Echinacea? 706 00:27:36,437 --> 00:27:37,307 - No, thank you. 707 00:27:37,351 --> 00:27:38,352 - Are you sure? 708 00:27:38,395 --> 00:27:39,570 - I'm positive. 709 00:27:39,614 --> 00:27:42,878 - It's good for your immune system. 710 00:27:42,922 --> 00:27:43,923 I love 'em. 711 00:27:43,966 --> 00:27:44,750 I take 'em all the time. 712 00:27:44,793 --> 00:27:45,620 - [Woman] Shh. 713 00:27:45,664 --> 00:27:46,795 - Oh, you shh. 714 00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:51,060 Aside from my heart, 715 00:27:51,104 --> 00:27:54,020 I'm actually a very healthy person. 716 00:27:54,977 --> 00:27:57,110 - You certainly are. 717 00:27:57,153 --> 00:27:58,241 - How's your heart? 718 00:27:58,285 --> 00:28:00,026 I bet you have a cute one. 719 00:28:00,069 --> 00:28:01,941 [giggles] 720 00:28:01,984 --> 00:28:03,507 - [Woman] Hey. 721 00:28:03,551 --> 00:28:04,813 - [Charlene] What? 722 00:28:04,857 --> 00:28:05,684 Shut up. 723 00:28:05,727 --> 00:28:07,773 [pager buzzing] 724 00:28:07,816 --> 00:28:09,078 - I got a page. 725 00:28:09,122 --> 00:28:09,905 - Oh, no. 726 00:28:09,949 --> 00:28:10,732 - I have to answer this. 727 00:28:10,776 --> 00:28:12,038 - Now? 728 00:28:12,081 --> 00:28:14,257 Dr. Frankenstein is just about to sing. 729 00:28:14,301 --> 00:28:15,084 - I know. 730 00:28:15,128 --> 00:28:15,911 I'll be right back. 731 00:28:15,955 --> 00:28:16,782 - Okay. 732 00:28:18,305 --> 00:28:19,959 - [Woman] Excuse me. 733 00:28:22,178 --> 00:28:23,440 Can you sit down, please? 734 00:28:23,484 --> 00:28:25,660 [giggles] 735 00:28:30,752 --> 00:28:31,753 - [Man] Hey. 736 00:28:31,797 --> 00:28:32,885 Do you mind? 737 00:28:32,928 --> 00:28:34,495 - [Woman] Sit down. 738 00:28:39,674 --> 00:28:42,111 - [Man] My life begins-- 739 00:28:42,155 --> 00:28:44,157 - I couldn't believe it. 740 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,246 The actor playing Dr. Frankenstein 741 00:28:46,289 --> 00:28:48,422 was Steffon Stevens. 742 00:28:48,465 --> 00:28:50,206 Suddenly it hit me. 743 00:28:50,250 --> 00:28:54,080 Maybe my Steven was an actor playing a doctor. 744 00:28:58,519 --> 00:28:59,389 Oh, my God. 745 00:29:02,131 --> 00:29:03,785 I love this person. 746 00:29:03,829 --> 00:29:04,786 He's great. 747 00:29:08,834 --> 00:29:09,965 - I'm gonna have to take off. 748 00:29:10,009 --> 00:29:11,967 There's an emergency at the hospital. 749 00:29:12,011 --> 00:29:12,794 - Oh, no. 750 00:29:13,708 --> 00:29:15,797 Will you call me? 751 00:29:15,841 --> 00:29:17,016 Please, call me. 752 00:29:17,059 --> 00:29:18,147 - I will. 753 00:29:18,191 --> 00:29:21,150 - Call me on your cell phone. 754 00:29:21,194 --> 00:29:23,326 [giggles] 755 00:29:24,501 --> 00:29:25,415 Do you mind? 756 00:29:25,459 --> 00:29:26,765 This is private. 757 00:29:28,201 --> 00:29:30,072 Can you believe people? 758 00:29:31,117 --> 00:29:32,379 - Let him live! 759 00:29:36,383 --> 00:29:39,603 [dramatic organ music] 760 00:29:45,566 --> 00:29:49,265 [audience applauding] 761 00:29:49,309 --> 00:29:50,527 - [Steffon] Well, hello there. 762 00:29:50,571 --> 00:29:52,007 - Hello. 763 00:29:52,051 --> 00:29:53,400 - Lost your way? 764 00:29:56,577 --> 00:29:58,100 Ah. 765 00:29:58,144 --> 00:30:00,276 - Good evening, Doctor, ahem, Mr. Stevens. 766 00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:01,538 - Please, call me Steffon. 767 00:30:01,582 --> 00:30:03,714 - Okay, Steffon. 768 00:30:03,758 --> 00:30:04,977 I'm a big fan of yours, 769 00:30:05,020 --> 00:30:06,413 and I have an idea for 770 00:30:06,456 --> 00:30:08,589 a screenplay starring you that 771 00:30:08,632 --> 00:30:11,287 I think could be a blockbuster. 772 00:30:11,331 --> 00:30:12,636 Now, I want to be perfectly honest, 773 00:30:12,680 --> 00:30:13,855 I'm not one of those big 774 00:30:13,899 --> 00:30:15,509 Hollywood producers with money 775 00:30:15,552 --> 00:30:16,902 to throw around. 776 00:30:16,945 --> 00:30:17,946 I can't, for example, 777 00:30:17,990 --> 00:30:18,947 take you to the Palm 778 00:30:18,991 --> 00:30:20,470 and buy you blackened swordfish. 779 00:30:20,514 --> 00:30:22,211 But what I can do is I can 780 00:30:22,255 --> 00:30:25,780 offer you a cup of coffee with the lid on. 781 00:30:27,129 --> 00:30:28,174 [chuckles] 782 00:30:28,217 --> 00:30:29,697 [chuckles] 783 00:30:29,740 --> 00:30:30,829 - What's your name again? 784 00:30:30,872 --> 00:30:32,439 - Oh, I'm Charlene. 785 00:30:33,919 --> 00:30:36,486 [passionate moaning] 786 00:30:36,530 --> 00:30:39,098 - Steffon, do you like my idea? 787 00:30:39,141 --> 00:30:40,534 - Oh, I love, yes, yes. 788 00:30:40,577 --> 00:30:41,752 Oh, yes. 789 00:30:41,796 --> 00:30:43,015 Me as a comic book hero, like Superman. 790 00:30:43,058 --> 00:30:43,885 Yes, I like it. 791 00:30:43,929 --> 00:30:44,712 - Yes. 792 00:30:44,755 --> 00:30:45,887 Yes. 793 00:30:45,931 --> 00:30:47,236 Only you would be called Shakespeare Man. 794 00:30:47,280 --> 00:30:49,151 You'd be fighting crime using 795 00:30:49,195 --> 00:30:51,806 the abilities and the powers of Shakespearean characters. 796 00:30:51,850 --> 00:30:52,894 - Yes, yes, yes, yes. 797 00:30:52,938 --> 00:30:53,764 - Do you like it? 798 00:30:53,808 --> 00:30:55,027 - Yes, the magic of the, 799 00:30:55,070 --> 00:30:58,987 and the courage of Henry V, not to mention Romeo. 800 00:31:00,206 --> 00:31:00,989 - Yes. 801 00:31:01,033 --> 00:31:03,905 [car horn honks] 802 00:31:03,949 --> 00:31:04,775 - I like it. 803 00:31:04,819 --> 00:31:05,602 I like it. 804 00:31:05,646 --> 00:31:06,429 - Really? 805 00:31:06,473 --> 00:31:07,648 - I like you, too. 806 00:31:07,691 --> 00:31:10,216 - I like you, too, Steffon Stevens. 807 00:31:15,351 --> 00:31:16,135 Steffon? 808 00:31:16,178 --> 00:31:17,092 - Mm-hmm. 809 00:31:17,136 --> 00:31:18,964 - I'm going to make you a star. 810 00:31:19,007 --> 00:31:21,096 [laughs] 811 00:31:23,229 --> 00:31:26,536 I'm ready for my close-up, Miss DeMille. 812 00:31:29,496 --> 00:31:32,281 [light jazz music] 813 00:31:32,325 --> 00:31:33,108 - [Charlene Voiceover] A major studio 814 00:31:33,152 --> 00:31:34,544 bought "Shakespeare Man" 815 00:31:34,588 --> 00:31:37,330 and Steffon went off to England to shoot it. 816 00:31:37,373 --> 00:31:39,680 I saw my first five-figure check. 817 00:31:39,723 --> 00:31:43,292 I was busy, happy, productive, and in love, 818 00:31:43,336 --> 00:31:45,120 until I got a phone call from 819 00:31:45,164 --> 00:31:46,556 Steffon telling me he fell in 820 00:31:46,600 --> 00:31:48,558 love with his costar. 821 00:31:48,602 --> 00:31:51,997 I stayed at home nights playing Internet gambling. 822 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:53,563 But even winning at Galaxy World 823 00:31:53,607 --> 00:31:55,957 didn't do it for me. 824 00:31:56,001 --> 00:31:57,567 Then it hit me. 825 00:31:57,611 --> 00:32:00,962 I needed a real doctor, not an actor. 826 00:32:01,006 --> 00:32:02,703 I had made a terrible mistake. 827 00:32:02,746 --> 00:32:05,836 [passionate moaning] 828 00:32:15,368 --> 00:32:16,630 [intercom beeping] 829 00:32:16,673 --> 00:32:17,848 - [Woman Over PA] Dr. Stevens, the princess 830 00:32:17,892 --> 00:32:19,024 and her father are here. 831 00:32:19,067 --> 00:32:21,069 - My daddy's here? 832 00:32:21,113 --> 00:32:22,070 - Look, I'm gonna have to call you. 833 00:32:22,114 --> 00:32:23,376 - No, don't go. 834 00:32:25,595 --> 00:32:26,553 Please stay. 835 00:32:27,467 --> 00:32:29,295 Leave something with me. 836 00:32:29,338 --> 00:32:30,035 - Leave something? 837 00:32:30,078 --> 00:32:31,471 [laughs] 838 00:32:31,514 --> 00:32:32,341 - Here. 839 00:32:33,995 --> 00:32:34,953 - Oh. 840 00:32:34,996 --> 00:32:35,823 Thank you. 841 00:32:40,349 --> 00:32:43,004 [door clicking] 842 00:32:46,051 --> 00:32:48,140 [singing in foreign language] 843 00:32:48,183 --> 00:32:49,402 - [Steven] Hello, my princess. 844 00:32:49,445 --> 00:32:50,229 How are you? 845 00:32:50,272 --> 00:32:51,186 - Hello, my love. 846 00:32:51,230 --> 00:32:52,405 Can we have a moment of privacy? 847 00:32:52,448 --> 00:32:53,884 - Actually, we have reservations down 848 00:32:53,928 --> 00:32:55,538 at Matutu's at eight o'clock. 849 00:32:55,582 --> 00:32:58,541 - Oh, but, Steven, you know my father's always around. 850 00:32:58,585 --> 00:32:59,760 - I know. 851 00:32:59,803 --> 00:33:00,717 I kinda like it when Dad's around. 852 00:33:00,761 --> 00:33:01,936 It makes things exciting. 853 00:33:01,980 --> 00:33:03,372 Feel like we're gonna get caught. 854 00:33:03,416 --> 00:33:04,199 Come on. 855 00:33:04,243 --> 00:33:05,766 - Steven. 856 00:33:05,809 --> 00:33:07,724 - You don't want to miss that voodoo burger now, do you? 857 00:33:07,768 --> 00:33:08,943 Side of melon. 858 00:33:11,337 --> 00:33:15,080 [imitating foreign language] 859 00:33:18,605 --> 00:33:19,736 - [Charlene Voiceover] This doctor business 860 00:33:19,780 --> 00:33:22,435 was a little trickier than I thought. 861 00:33:22,478 --> 00:33:25,046 But I wasn't about to give up on my destiny. 862 00:33:25,090 --> 00:33:28,702 I just needed to expand my search. 863 00:33:28,745 --> 00:33:31,139 [light muzak] 864 00:33:36,362 --> 00:33:39,495 [rings bell] 865 00:33:39,539 --> 00:33:41,280 - Can I help you? 866 00:33:41,323 --> 00:33:42,629 - Um, yes. 867 00:33:42,672 --> 00:33:44,413 I only want to date doctors who 868 00:33:44,457 --> 00:33:46,502 have a first or a last name Steven. 869 00:33:46,546 --> 00:33:49,070 So I was wondering if I might be able to get a price 870 00:33:49,114 --> 00:33:51,029 break on my membership. 871 00:33:52,465 --> 00:33:53,292 - No. 872 00:33:55,076 --> 00:33:56,077 - Oh. 873 00:33:56,121 --> 00:33:57,470 Okay. 874 00:33:57,513 --> 00:34:00,951 Well, um, how about if you ask your boss? 875 00:34:08,481 --> 00:34:09,308 - No. 876 00:34:11,397 --> 00:34:12,137 - Oh. 877 00:34:12,180 --> 00:34:13,616 Well, that's too bad. 878 00:34:13,660 --> 00:34:17,316 I really had my hopes up there for a minute. 879 00:34:26,412 --> 00:34:28,109 - [Man Over PA] Charlene Silver! 880 00:34:28,153 --> 00:34:29,632 - What? 881 00:34:29,676 --> 00:34:32,113 - We'd like to present to you Dr. Steven Stevenson, 882 00:34:32,157 --> 00:34:34,028 the man of your dreams. 883 00:34:35,116 --> 00:34:35,986 - Okay. 884 00:34:36,030 --> 00:34:37,988 [light organ music] 885 00:34:38,032 --> 00:34:39,468 Oh! 886 00:34:39,512 --> 00:34:40,382 Good! 887 00:34:40,426 --> 00:34:41,644 Ha ha! 888 00:34:41,688 --> 00:34:42,515 You're nice. 889 00:34:42,558 --> 00:34:43,342 Very, 890 00:34:43,385 --> 00:34:44,169 Aah! 891 00:34:44,212 --> 00:34:45,692 I'll take all of 'em. 892 00:34:45,735 --> 00:34:46,519 Hmm. 893 00:34:46,562 --> 00:34:47,389 Manly. 894 00:34:48,956 --> 00:34:50,175 Oh, nice! 895 00:34:50,218 --> 00:34:51,176 Oh! 896 00:34:51,219 --> 00:34:52,786 Oh, I want it! 897 00:34:52,829 --> 00:34:53,656 Oh, honey! 898 00:34:56,572 --> 00:34:57,399 Oh! 899 00:35:02,535 --> 00:35:03,492 - Hello. 900 00:35:03,536 --> 00:35:06,626 - Hello, Dr. Steven Stevenson. 901 00:35:06,669 --> 00:35:07,496 - Yes, uh-- 902 00:35:07,540 --> 00:35:08,323 - Charlene. 903 00:35:08,367 --> 00:35:09,150 - Charlene. 904 00:35:09,194 --> 00:35:10,151 - Yes. 905 00:35:10,195 --> 00:35:11,283 - So nice to see you. 906 00:35:11,326 --> 00:35:12,545 - Thank you. 907 00:35:12,588 --> 00:35:13,894 - How tall are you? 908 00:35:13,937 --> 00:35:15,765 - Um, I'm five, seven. 909 00:35:17,550 --> 00:35:19,813 - How much do you weigh? 910 00:35:19,856 --> 00:35:21,075 - I don't know. 911 00:35:21,119 --> 00:35:24,209 Why don't you pick me up and find out? 912 00:35:24,252 --> 00:35:25,123 - It's not that important. 913 00:35:25,166 --> 00:35:25,993 Don't mind me. 914 00:35:26,036 --> 00:35:26,820 Please have a seat. 915 00:35:26,863 --> 00:35:28,474 - All right. 916 00:35:28,517 --> 00:35:29,736 - It's just that most women 917 00:35:29,779 --> 00:35:31,303 who wear long skirts don't have nice legs. 918 00:35:31,346 --> 00:35:32,173 - Hmm. 919 00:35:32,217 --> 00:35:33,087 Really? 920 00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,044 - You see, I'm used to dating 921 00:35:34,088 --> 00:35:36,134 girls who wear short skirts or 922 00:35:36,177 --> 00:35:38,179 dresses if they have nice legs, 923 00:35:38,223 --> 00:35:40,790 or a cut above the knee if they don't. 924 00:35:40,834 --> 00:35:41,878 - Oh. 925 00:35:41,922 --> 00:35:44,577 Well, how unbelievably fascinating. 926 00:35:45,795 --> 00:35:48,058 Oh, I'm sorry, did I accidentally kick, 927 00:35:48,102 --> 00:35:49,582 what? 928 00:35:49,625 --> 00:35:51,497 What, the shoes are no good? 929 00:35:51,540 --> 00:35:52,976 - Well, that depends. 930 00:35:53,020 --> 00:35:53,890 - [Charlene] Uh-huh. 931 00:35:53,934 --> 00:35:56,241 - Do you think sexy is cool? 932 00:36:00,419 --> 00:36:03,161 - Is this a trick question? 933 00:36:03,204 --> 00:36:04,249 - Don't mind me. 934 00:36:04,292 --> 00:36:05,685 I'm just a doctor, you know me. 935 00:36:05,728 --> 00:36:07,426 [laughs] 936 00:36:07,469 --> 00:36:08,731 - That's right. 937 00:36:08,775 --> 00:36:10,690 That's what I keep reminding myself. 938 00:36:10,733 --> 00:36:12,779 You're just a doctor. 939 00:36:12,822 --> 00:36:15,173 Just a pugilistic, athletic, 940 00:36:15,216 --> 00:36:18,393 motorcycle-riding, fun-loving doctor. 941 00:36:18,437 --> 00:36:19,873 - What do I know? 942 00:36:21,266 --> 00:36:23,659 - Well, I think it's time for a drink. 943 00:36:23,703 --> 00:36:24,965 - How about a glass of wine? 944 00:36:25,008 --> 00:36:27,010 - I would love a glass of wine. 945 00:36:27,054 --> 00:36:27,881 - Perfect. 946 00:36:31,537 --> 00:36:33,103 - [Charlene Voiceover] His message was clear. 947 00:36:33,147 --> 00:36:34,975 I had to completely change my style 948 00:36:35,018 --> 00:36:36,933 if I wanted to date him. 949 00:36:36,977 --> 00:36:41,111 I was outraged at how readily I was willing to 950 00:36:41,155 --> 00:36:43,723 transform myself to please him. 951 00:36:46,856 --> 00:36:49,859 [upbeat rock music] 952 00:37:27,332 --> 00:37:28,158 - Charlene? 953 00:37:28,202 --> 00:37:29,856 [retching] 954 00:37:29,899 --> 00:37:30,857 You okay? 955 00:37:30,900 --> 00:37:35,209 [retching] [coughing] 956 00:37:40,345 --> 00:37:42,303 You want a napkin? 957 00:37:42,347 --> 00:37:44,044 - Thank you. 958 00:37:44,087 --> 00:37:45,915 [coughs] 959 00:37:45,959 --> 00:37:47,874 I think I got nauseous. 960 00:37:49,267 --> 00:37:52,661 You were going around those turns so fast, I just-- 961 00:37:52,705 --> 00:37:53,706 - Charlene, I'm sorry, 962 00:37:53,749 --> 00:37:56,448 but I, I just think that, uh, 963 00:37:56,491 --> 00:37:57,884 this is not gonna work out with us. 964 00:37:57,927 --> 00:38:00,060 We're just too different. 965 00:38:01,061 --> 00:38:02,584 - Okay. 966 00:38:02,628 --> 00:38:03,716 - Let me take you back home. 967 00:38:03,759 --> 00:38:04,543 Come on. 968 00:38:04,586 --> 00:38:05,370 - No. 969 00:38:05,413 --> 00:38:06,240 You know what? 970 00:38:06,284 --> 00:38:07,067 I think I'll just walk. 971 00:38:07,110 --> 00:38:08,590 It's not that far. 972 00:38:09,765 --> 00:38:10,853 - Charlene, hold on a second. 973 00:38:10,897 --> 00:38:11,680 Come here. 974 00:38:11,724 --> 00:38:13,029 Come here. 975 00:38:13,073 --> 00:38:14,683 Um, let me drive you home 976 00:38:14,727 --> 00:38:16,598 and then we'll break up later, okay? 977 00:38:16,642 --> 00:38:17,425 - Okay. 978 00:38:17,469 --> 00:38:18,296 - All right? 979 00:38:18,339 --> 00:38:19,122 All right? 980 00:38:19,166 --> 00:38:19,949 Come on. 981 00:38:19,993 --> 00:38:20,863 Come on. 982 00:38:20,907 --> 00:38:21,603 - You won't drive too fast? 983 00:38:21,647 --> 00:38:22,517 - No, no, no. 984 00:38:22,561 --> 00:38:24,519 I'll drive too slow, okay? 985 00:38:24,563 --> 00:38:27,261 [starts engine] 986 00:38:37,184 --> 00:38:39,142 - All my children are nose boogies. 987 00:38:39,186 --> 00:38:40,840 This is the worst blizzard they ever had 988 00:38:40,883 --> 00:38:42,189 in New York, and, Charlene, 989 00:38:42,232 --> 00:38:43,538 not one of you has called me. 990 00:38:43,582 --> 00:38:46,367 - Mom, Momma, I can't believe you. 991 00:38:46,411 --> 00:38:47,890 All you do is complain. 992 00:38:47,934 --> 00:38:50,371 Do I call you every time we have an earthquake? 993 00:38:50,415 --> 00:38:51,416 No. 994 00:38:51,459 --> 00:38:52,373 Okay, so fine. 995 00:38:52,417 --> 00:38:53,374 Your house is cold, 996 00:38:53,418 --> 00:38:54,680 but it's not like it was picked 997 00:38:54,723 --> 00:38:56,638 up and thrown around like mine was. 998 00:38:56,682 --> 00:38:57,465 I don't-- 999 00:38:57,509 --> 00:38:58,336 [Blanche sneezing] 1000 00:38:58,379 --> 00:38:59,337 Mom? 1001 00:38:59,380 --> 00:39:01,295 [Blanche sneezing] 1002 00:39:01,339 --> 00:39:02,122 Hello, Mom? 1003 00:39:02,165 --> 00:39:03,384 [phone clicking] 1004 00:39:03,428 --> 00:39:04,254 Mom? 1005 00:39:05,430 --> 00:39:07,475 I called my mother looking for comfort. 1006 00:39:07,519 --> 00:39:09,390 I don't know why I wasted my time. 1007 00:39:09,434 --> 00:39:12,828 We just got stuck in the game of dueling disasters. 1008 00:39:12,872 --> 00:39:14,308 Which reminds me of 1009 00:39:14,352 --> 00:39:17,616 my parents' favorite pastime, dueling ailments. 1010 00:39:17,659 --> 00:39:21,315 - I think I just snapped my clavicle. 1011 00:39:21,359 --> 00:39:25,580 - Blanche, Blanche, my back is killing me, Blanche. 1012 00:39:26,538 --> 00:39:27,365 - My head. 1013 00:39:28,670 --> 00:39:32,370 It's like two elephants are mating inside there. 1014 00:39:35,111 --> 00:39:39,202 - Am I the only one who thinks this room is spinning? 1015 00:39:39,246 --> 00:39:42,728 - Mel, do your fingers ever feel numb? 1016 00:39:42,771 --> 00:39:44,207 Just the tips? 1017 00:39:44,251 --> 00:39:45,034 - Tingling. 1018 00:39:45,078 --> 00:39:45,861 - Yes. 1019 00:39:45,905 --> 00:39:46,688 - A tingling. 1020 00:39:46,732 --> 00:39:47,515 Like a tingling. 1021 00:39:47,559 --> 00:39:49,778 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. 1022 00:39:49,822 --> 00:39:52,694 - It's not a stroke, God forbid. 1023 00:39:52,738 --> 00:39:54,783 - I'm so nauseous. 1024 00:39:54,827 --> 00:39:58,308 I'm so nauseous, and yet I'm still hungry. 1025 00:39:58,352 --> 00:39:59,222 - Hungry. 1026 00:39:59,266 --> 00:40:02,312 - I'm nauseous and I'm hungry. 1027 00:40:02,356 --> 00:40:03,270 - [Charlene] It was around this 1028 00:40:03,313 --> 00:40:04,576 time that I realized I needed 1029 00:40:04,619 --> 00:40:06,795 to get a grip on my life. 1030 00:40:06,839 --> 00:40:08,275 There's more important things 1031 00:40:08,318 --> 00:40:09,972 than trying to marry a doctor 1032 00:40:10,016 --> 00:40:13,933 and please my parents, like my career. 1033 00:40:13,976 --> 00:40:16,152 I started a new job writing and producing, 1034 00:40:16,196 --> 00:40:19,417 and I was finally through with men. 1035 00:40:19,460 --> 00:40:22,420 [upbeat rock music] 1036 00:40:23,638 --> 00:40:26,815 - [Joey] Charlene, Charlene, Charlene. 1037 00:40:26,859 --> 00:40:28,121 - Hello, Joey. 1038 00:40:28,164 --> 00:40:30,166 - You know, last night, 1039 00:40:30,210 --> 00:40:32,995 I had a dream that we were lost in 1040 00:40:34,344 --> 00:40:37,870 a desert without anything to drink or eat-- 1041 00:40:40,525 --> 00:40:41,830 - Right. 1042 00:40:41,874 --> 00:40:43,136 - But each other. 1043 00:40:43,179 --> 00:40:47,227 - That's not a dream, that's a nightmare. 1044 00:40:47,270 --> 00:40:48,184 [slurping] 1045 00:40:48,228 --> 00:40:50,143 - What is that bewitching scent? 1046 00:40:50,186 --> 00:40:51,187 - It's Bengay. 1047 00:40:51,231 --> 00:40:52,014 - Oh. 1048 00:40:52,058 --> 00:40:52,972 Hmm. 1049 00:40:53,015 --> 00:40:53,668 - You know something, Joey? 1050 00:40:53,712 --> 00:40:54,800 - Yeah? 1051 00:40:54,843 --> 00:40:56,758 - Not all women are susceptible 1052 00:40:56,802 --> 00:40:59,021 to a gorgeous guy with a great 1053 00:40:59,065 --> 00:41:02,460 body such as yourself and no personality. 1054 00:41:05,854 --> 00:41:07,508 Honey, the stone age is over. 1055 00:41:07,552 --> 00:41:08,944 This is the '90s. 1056 00:41:08,988 --> 00:41:09,989 Get with it. 1057 00:41:12,905 --> 00:41:15,734 [door clicking] 1058 00:41:15,777 --> 00:41:16,604 [sighs] 1059 00:41:16,648 --> 00:41:17,475 - Women. 1060 00:41:18,606 --> 00:41:19,477 Oh! 1061 00:41:20,782 --> 00:41:22,697 [door clicking] 1062 00:41:22,741 --> 00:41:25,787 [passionate moaning] 1063 00:41:28,181 --> 00:41:29,095 - Charlene? 1064 00:41:30,357 --> 00:41:32,402 Charlene, I need to speak to you at once. 1065 00:41:32,446 --> 00:41:35,449 - [Charlene] Hold on one second. 1066 00:41:35,493 --> 00:41:36,450 I'll be right out. 1067 00:41:36,494 --> 00:41:37,407 - Hurry. 1068 00:41:37,451 --> 00:41:39,105 This is an emergen-- 1069 00:41:40,759 --> 00:41:42,195 - I'm terribly sorry, Jane. 1070 00:41:42,238 --> 00:41:44,284 I was right in the middle of something. 1071 00:41:44,327 --> 00:41:46,547 [door rattles] 1072 00:41:46,591 --> 00:41:48,549 - Listen, you've got to get now and do this trailer. 1073 00:41:48,593 --> 00:41:49,724 It's not even scary. 1074 00:41:49,768 --> 00:41:51,247 It doesn't work. 1075 00:41:51,291 --> 00:41:54,076 You've gotta put shots, the sponsors are very upset. 1076 00:41:54,120 --> 00:41:54,903 - Okay. 1077 00:41:54,947 --> 00:41:56,426 - I don't like it. 1078 00:41:56,470 --> 00:41:57,906 You gotta have a lot of helpless women, brutality. 1079 00:41:57,950 --> 00:41:59,125 - I'll get right on it. 1080 00:41:59,168 --> 00:42:01,649 - Do we have any shots of animals? 1081 00:42:04,130 --> 00:42:04,957 Excuse me. 1082 00:42:06,611 --> 00:42:07,960 - No, excuse me. 1083 00:42:08,003 --> 00:42:08,917 Um, thanks. 1084 00:42:12,921 --> 00:42:14,575 - Thank you, Johnny. 1085 00:42:15,620 --> 00:42:18,144 He, uh, he was fixing my modem. 1086 00:42:19,667 --> 00:42:21,103 He's really fast. 1087 00:42:21,974 --> 00:42:23,453 [laughs nervously] 1088 00:42:23,497 --> 00:42:24,280 - Three minutes! 1089 00:42:24,324 --> 00:42:25,107 - Okay. 1090 00:42:25,151 --> 00:42:25,978 - Now. 1091 00:42:26,021 --> 00:42:27,501 - Yes, sir, ma'am. 1092 00:42:29,590 --> 00:42:31,679 [sighing] 1093 00:42:35,509 --> 00:42:38,512 [explosion booming] 1094 00:42:42,647 --> 00:42:43,604 Okay. 1095 00:42:43,648 --> 00:42:45,737 All right, um, Dick. 1096 00:42:45,780 --> 00:42:47,173 I don't know the technical term 1097 00:42:47,216 --> 00:42:48,783 for what I want next, but I'll 1098 00:42:48,827 --> 00:42:50,655 just tell you what I see in my head, 1099 00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:54,659 and then you can tell me if you can handle it, okay? 1100 00:42:54,702 --> 00:42:56,704 - Are you sure you know what you're doing? 1101 00:42:56,748 --> 00:42:58,227 - [Charlene] Excuse me? 1102 00:42:58,271 --> 00:43:00,490 - No, I, no offense, but, I mean, other producers, 1103 00:43:00,534 --> 00:43:01,491 they don't work like this. 1104 00:43:01,535 --> 00:43:02,754 I mean, they got notes. 1105 00:43:02,797 --> 00:43:03,929 They know what frame they want to go to. 1106 00:43:03,972 --> 00:43:04,756 - [Charlene] Right. 1107 00:43:04,799 --> 00:43:05,670 Well, um-- 1108 00:43:05,713 --> 00:43:06,627 - What am I supposed to do, 1109 00:43:06,671 --> 00:43:07,454 go back through the whole thing? 1110 00:43:07,497 --> 00:43:09,151 - Look, Richard, Dick, 1111 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:11,676 I can understand what you are 1112 00:43:11,719 --> 00:43:13,068 saying about other producers, 1113 00:43:13,112 --> 00:43:14,592 but all producers are different. 1114 00:43:14,635 --> 00:43:16,506 I work a particular way. 1115 00:43:16,550 --> 00:43:18,987 For example, a lot of Richards 1116 00:43:19,031 --> 00:43:20,641 don't like to be called Dick, 1117 00:43:20,685 --> 00:43:21,990 but I can understand where 1118 00:43:22,034 --> 00:43:23,383 you're coming from, 'cause you see, 1119 00:43:23,426 --> 00:43:26,473 if you know you're a Dick right off the bat, 1120 00:43:26,516 --> 00:43:29,476 why wait for other people to find out? 1121 00:43:29,519 --> 00:43:31,783 - What's wrong with Dick? 1122 00:43:31,826 --> 00:43:33,959 All the men in my family are Dicks. 1123 00:43:34,002 --> 00:43:35,003 - Oh, my God. 1124 00:43:35,047 --> 00:43:35,874 Really? 1125 00:43:35,917 --> 00:43:36,831 [assistant laughs] 1126 00:43:36,875 --> 00:43:37,789 - Oh, that's funny. 1127 00:43:37,832 --> 00:43:40,661 You're, you're really helping. 1128 00:43:40,705 --> 00:43:42,532 Don't encourage her. 1129 00:43:42,576 --> 00:43:43,359 Yeah. 1130 00:43:43,403 --> 00:43:44,447 Calling me names. 1131 00:43:44,491 --> 00:43:45,666 Calling me names. 1132 00:43:45,710 --> 00:43:47,015 Yeah, I never heard Dick jokes before. 1133 00:43:47,059 --> 00:43:48,538 Wow, what a revelation. 1134 00:43:48,582 --> 00:43:49,844 I missed junior high school. 1135 00:43:49,888 --> 00:43:50,845 Why don't you get some talent? 1136 00:43:50,889 --> 00:43:51,846 Why don't you try that, 1137 00:43:51,890 --> 00:43:53,413 Miss New York prodigy? 1138 00:43:53,456 --> 00:43:54,762 If I said the same thing to you, 1139 00:43:54,806 --> 00:43:55,894 I'd end up in a court somewhere. 1140 00:43:55,937 --> 00:43:56,721 You know why? 1141 00:43:56,764 --> 00:43:57,591 - [Charlene] Why? 1142 00:43:57,635 --> 00:43:58,418 - Okay, fine. 1143 00:43:58,461 --> 00:43:59,375 Fine. 1144 00:43:59,419 --> 00:44:00,072 You just crossed the line. 1145 00:44:00,115 --> 00:44:01,029 - Which line? 1146 00:44:01,073 --> 00:44:01,813 - [Dick] You crossed that line. 1147 00:44:01,856 --> 00:44:02,596 - This line here? 1148 00:44:02,640 --> 00:44:04,119 - That's right. 1149 00:44:04,163 --> 00:44:05,207 It's called harassment, lady, and you're gonna get it. 1150 00:44:05,251 --> 00:44:06,382 You're gonna get it right now. 1151 00:44:06,426 --> 00:44:07,688 You can't cross that line. 1152 00:44:07,732 --> 00:44:08,994 Dick is a proud name. 1153 00:44:09,037 --> 00:44:11,561 It's a strong name, and I am proud to be a Dick. 1154 00:44:11,605 --> 00:44:12,388 - Oh, good. 1155 00:44:12,432 --> 00:44:13,215 - That's right. 1156 00:44:13,259 --> 00:44:14,173 Now. 1157 00:44:14,216 --> 00:44:14,956 You're gonna get it right now. 1158 00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:15,696 - Run, Dick, run, 1159 00:44:15,740 --> 00:44:16,566 Run to Jane. 1160 00:44:16,610 --> 00:44:17,437 - Oh, that's clever. 1161 00:44:17,480 --> 00:44:18,394 "Run, Dick, run." 1162 00:44:18,438 --> 00:44:19,700 Yeah, I'll tell her about that. 1163 00:44:19,744 --> 00:44:20,658 Kiss me, baby! 1164 00:44:20,701 --> 00:44:21,528 Kiss me! 1165 00:44:21,571 --> 00:44:22,398 Get it, Dick? 1166 00:44:22,442 --> 00:44:23,225 Kiss me, Dick? 1167 00:44:23,269 --> 00:44:24,139 - I don't think so. 1168 00:44:24,183 --> 00:44:24,966 I think that's a job for Jane. 1169 00:44:25,010 --> 00:44:26,359 - Oh, it's Jane's job? 1170 00:44:26,402 --> 00:44:27,577 It's Jane's job? 1171 00:44:27,621 --> 00:44:28,622 I'm sure she'll be very happy to hear that. 1172 00:44:28,666 --> 00:44:29,579 Jane's job. 1173 00:44:29,623 --> 00:44:30,493 And you shut the hell up. 1174 00:44:30,537 --> 00:44:32,060 I don't want to hear from you. 1175 00:44:32,104 --> 00:44:34,454 You know what, baby, this ain't my first barbecue. 1176 00:44:34,497 --> 00:44:35,716 - Okay. 1177 00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:37,065 All right, bye. 1178 00:44:37,109 --> 00:44:39,328 [assistant laughs] 1179 00:44:39,372 --> 00:44:40,242 - Jane? 1180 00:44:40,286 --> 00:44:41,722 Uh, yeah, look out. 1181 00:44:41,766 --> 00:44:44,203 Charging Dick coming right at you. 1182 00:44:44,246 --> 00:44:47,075 [pounding on door] 1183 00:44:47,119 --> 00:44:50,339 - That producer has got some balls! 1184 00:44:50,383 --> 00:44:52,820 - Did somebody say balls? 1185 00:44:52,864 --> 00:44:54,866 - Dear God, what have I said? 1186 00:44:54,909 --> 00:44:55,736 No, no. 1187 00:44:55,780 --> 00:44:56,563 No, no. 1188 00:44:56,606 --> 00:44:57,477 Jane, Jane, 1189 00:44:57,520 --> 00:45:00,523 there is no reason to disrobe. 1190 00:45:00,567 --> 00:45:02,090 Oh, God! 1191 00:45:02,134 --> 00:45:02,961 Oh, God! 1192 00:45:04,310 --> 00:45:05,833 I could come back another time 1193 00:45:05,877 --> 00:45:07,617 when you're not so large-breasted. 1194 00:45:07,661 --> 00:45:09,663 We can talk another time. 1195 00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:10,490 Remember my heart. 1196 00:45:10,533 --> 00:45:11,447 - Dick, shh. 1197 00:45:11,491 --> 00:45:13,449 - [Dick] Is that a new blouse? 1198 00:45:13,493 --> 00:45:14,886 - It can be, Dick. 1199 00:45:14,929 --> 00:45:15,800 - [Dick] No. 1200 00:45:15,843 --> 00:45:17,366 - [Jane] It can be, Dick. 1201 00:45:17,410 --> 00:45:17,889 - No, no, we're not doing the animal kingdom thing. 1202 00:45:17,932 --> 00:45:18,628 - Yes. 1203 00:45:18,672 --> 00:45:19,760 - No. 1204 00:45:19,804 --> 00:45:20,979 I cannot do the animal kingdom thing. 1205 00:45:21,022 --> 00:45:21,806 - Meow. 1206 00:45:21,849 --> 00:45:22,676 - No. 1207 00:45:22,720 --> 00:45:23,677 - Meow. 1208 00:45:23,721 --> 00:45:24,678 - Don't make me do it. 1209 00:45:24,722 --> 00:45:25,592 You're scaring me. 1210 00:45:25,635 --> 00:45:26,419 - Big kitty. 1211 00:45:26,462 --> 00:45:27,725 - You're gonna hurt me. 1212 00:45:27,768 --> 00:45:28,551 - Meow. 1213 00:45:28,595 --> 00:45:29,727 [howls] 1214 00:45:29,770 --> 00:45:31,032 [howls] 1215 00:45:31,076 --> 00:45:34,166 [both howling] 1216 00:45:34,209 --> 00:45:35,036 [barks] 1217 00:45:35,080 --> 00:45:37,169 [growls] 1218 00:45:38,300 --> 00:45:40,563 [trumpets] 1219 00:45:41,695 --> 00:45:42,783 - Act like a monkey! 1220 00:45:42,827 --> 00:45:43,653 Act like a monkey! 1221 00:45:43,697 --> 00:45:45,525 [screeching] 1222 00:45:45,568 --> 00:45:46,395 Oh! 1223 00:45:49,834 --> 00:45:50,660 Oh! 1224 00:45:52,619 --> 00:45:55,317 - I'm gonna ride you like a stallion, baby! 1225 00:45:55,361 --> 00:45:56,579 Give it to me! 1226 00:45:56,623 --> 00:45:57,450 Mmm! 1227 00:45:59,800 --> 00:46:01,236 - [Charlene] Because of my childhood, 1228 00:46:01,280 --> 00:46:02,803 I'm never surprised when hating me 1229 00:46:02,847 --> 00:46:05,153 brings two people together. 1230 00:46:05,197 --> 00:46:07,503 [shouting] 1231 00:46:16,512 --> 00:46:18,776 You wanted to see me, Jane? 1232 00:46:19,733 --> 00:46:21,039 - Charlene, you're fired. 1233 00:46:21,082 --> 00:46:21,866 - [Charlene] What? 1234 00:46:21,909 --> 00:46:23,215 - Yes. 1235 00:46:23,258 --> 00:46:25,130 You've pushed everybody's buttons here, 1236 00:46:25,173 --> 00:46:27,001 including Dick's, who's been 1237 00:46:27,045 --> 00:46:29,830 pushing mine just minutes ago. 1238 00:46:29,874 --> 00:46:30,570 - [Charlene] Dick's been-- 1239 00:46:30,613 --> 00:46:32,224 - Dick! 1240 00:46:32,267 --> 00:46:33,355 - [Charlene] Oh, my God. 1241 00:46:33,399 --> 00:46:35,183 - Yes, ma'am? 1242 00:46:35,227 --> 00:46:36,402 How you doing? 1243 00:46:36,445 --> 00:46:37,664 - [Charlene] Better than you, I guess. 1244 00:46:37,707 --> 00:46:38,839 - Do you realize what you've done? 1245 00:46:38,883 --> 00:46:39,840 - [Charlene] No, what have I done? 1246 00:46:39,884 --> 00:46:41,189 - Do you know what you've done? 1247 00:46:41,233 --> 00:46:43,365 You have driven a perfectly sane woman insane! 1248 00:46:43,409 --> 00:46:44,236 - Excuse me? 1249 00:46:44,279 --> 00:46:45,237 Perfectly sane? 1250 00:46:45,280 --> 00:46:46,542 You sleeping with a moron like 1251 00:46:46,586 --> 00:46:48,806 that Dick and you call yourself perfectly sane? 1252 00:46:48,849 --> 00:46:50,024 - You're fired! 1253 00:46:50,068 --> 00:46:50,851 - [Charlene] All right, fine! 1254 00:46:50,895 --> 00:46:51,721 I'm happy to go! 1255 00:46:51,765 --> 00:46:52,548 - Out! 1256 00:46:52,592 --> 00:46:53,375 - [Charlene] All right! 1257 00:46:53,419 --> 00:46:54,202 I'm leaving! 1258 00:46:54,246 --> 00:46:55,029 - Now! 1259 00:46:55,073 --> 00:46:55,856 - All right. 1260 00:46:55,900 --> 00:46:56,726 Okay, fine. 1261 00:46:56,770 --> 00:46:57,553 - Now! 1262 00:46:57,597 --> 00:46:58,511 - Oh, my God. 1263 00:46:58,554 --> 00:46:59,207 All right, fine, fine, fine. 1264 00:46:59,251 --> 00:47:00,034 I'm out of here. 1265 00:47:00,078 --> 00:47:01,644 - Pull up that dress! 1266 00:47:01,688 --> 00:47:04,604 [light jazz music] 1267 00:47:10,610 --> 00:47:12,612 [sighs] 1268 00:47:13,526 --> 00:47:14,483 - [Charlene] I'm just not cut out 1269 00:47:14,527 --> 00:47:16,007 to work in an office. 1270 00:47:16,050 --> 00:47:18,661 But everything always works out for the best. 1271 00:47:18,705 --> 00:47:22,752 I sold a TV pilot called "Dick and Jane's Wild Kingdom." 1272 00:47:22,796 --> 00:47:26,234 I made enough money for a down payment on my new home. 1273 00:47:26,278 --> 00:47:27,670 Hello, Hollywood. 1274 00:47:35,026 --> 00:47:37,942 [car horn honking] 1275 00:47:39,117 --> 00:47:41,510 Hey, dude, we heard you the first time! 1276 00:47:41,554 --> 00:47:42,424 - [Steven] It's broken! 1277 00:47:42,468 --> 00:47:43,948 - [Charlene] What? 1278 00:47:45,645 --> 00:47:47,255 - [Steven] It's broken! 1279 00:47:47,299 --> 00:47:49,257 - [Charlene] Well, can you do something about it? 1280 00:47:49,301 --> 00:47:52,434 [horn honking] 1281 00:47:52,478 --> 00:47:54,088 - I rent the house next to yours. 1282 00:47:54,132 --> 00:47:54,915 - Oh, really? 1283 00:47:54,959 --> 00:47:56,221 That's interesting. 1284 00:47:56,264 --> 00:47:57,439 Shut that off. 1285 00:47:59,746 --> 00:48:00,703 Oh. 1286 00:48:00,747 --> 00:48:03,141 [laughs] 1287 00:48:03,184 --> 00:48:04,446 You're good with your hands. 1288 00:48:04,490 --> 00:48:06,318 - Oh, thanks. 1289 00:48:06,361 --> 00:48:08,276 My name's Steven Binder. 1290 00:48:08,320 --> 00:48:09,103 - Hi. 1291 00:48:09,147 --> 00:48:09,930 I'm Charlene. 1292 00:48:09,974 --> 00:48:10,844 Charlene Silver. 1293 00:48:10,888 --> 00:48:12,324 I'm just moving in here. 1294 00:48:12,367 --> 00:48:13,368 I just bought this house. 1295 00:48:13,412 --> 00:48:14,239 - That's great. 1296 00:48:14,282 --> 00:48:15,544 That's great. 1297 00:48:15,588 --> 00:48:17,111 - You may, uh, you may hear 1298 00:48:17,155 --> 00:48:19,548 me rehearsing at night with my band, Medicine Man. 1299 00:48:19,592 --> 00:48:20,375 - Oh, really? 1300 00:48:20,419 --> 00:48:21,202 You have a band? 1301 00:48:21,246 --> 00:48:22,029 - Yeah. 1302 00:48:22,073 --> 00:48:22,900 I'm the lead singer. 1303 00:48:22,943 --> 00:48:23,726 - Really? 1304 00:48:23,770 --> 00:48:24,640 - Yeah. 1305 00:48:24,684 --> 00:48:25,859 - [Charlene] Wait a minute. 1306 00:48:25,903 --> 00:48:27,208 What did you say your name was again? 1307 00:48:27,252 --> 00:48:28,818 - Steven. 1308 00:48:28,862 --> 00:48:30,864 - [Charlene] And your band is called Medicine Man? 1309 00:48:30,908 --> 00:48:31,952 - Yeah. 1310 00:48:31,996 --> 00:48:33,214 - [Charlene] I had no intention 1311 00:48:33,258 --> 00:48:34,737 of going back on my Steven hunt, 1312 00:48:34,781 --> 00:48:37,218 but, hey, the guy showed up right at my front door, 1313 00:48:37,262 --> 00:48:39,699 delivered to me like a pizza. 1314 00:48:40,700 --> 00:48:42,528 You can't ignore fate. 1315 00:48:43,616 --> 00:48:44,922 - We're on fire! 1316 00:48:56,237 --> 00:48:57,760 - You're pregnant. 1317 00:48:58,805 --> 00:49:00,372 - Oh, my God! 1318 00:49:00,415 --> 00:49:01,416 I don't believe it! 1319 00:49:01,460 --> 00:49:02,548 I'm pregnant? 1320 00:49:02,591 --> 00:49:03,897 - You're pregnant. 1321 00:49:03,941 --> 00:49:06,334 - I have to call my mom. 1322 00:49:06,378 --> 00:49:08,510 - That's my private line. 1323 00:49:08,554 --> 00:49:09,555 - Oh, I'm sorry. 1324 00:49:09,598 --> 00:49:11,557 Do you have a pay phone? 1325 00:49:13,037 --> 00:49:13,863 Purse! 1326 00:49:13,907 --> 00:49:16,040 [laughing] 1327 00:49:17,519 --> 00:49:20,348 [telephone rings] 1328 00:49:20,392 --> 00:49:21,219 - Hello. 1329 00:49:21,262 --> 00:49:22,220 - Mom? 1330 00:49:22,263 --> 00:49:23,047 Dad? 1331 00:49:23,090 --> 00:49:24,309 It's Charlene. 1332 00:49:24,352 --> 00:49:26,354 - Mel, it's Charlene! 1333 00:49:26,398 --> 00:49:27,834 Hello, sweetheart. 1334 00:49:27,877 --> 00:49:29,096 - Remember when I told you this 1335 00:49:29,140 --> 00:49:30,837 was a friendly neighborhood? 1336 00:49:30,880 --> 00:49:31,969 I'm pregnant! 1337 00:49:33,231 --> 00:49:34,014 - Pregnant? 1338 00:49:34,058 --> 00:49:34,884 - Yes. 1339 00:49:34,928 --> 00:49:35,711 Yes. 1340 00:49:35,755 --> 00:49:36,538 - [Both] Pregnant? 1341 00:49:36,582 --> 00:49:37,365 - Yes! 1342 00:49:37,409 --> 00:49:38,410 I'm pregnant! 1343 00:49:38,453 --> 00:49:39,889 It was the guy next door. 1344 00:49:39,933 --> 00:49:41,065 - Well! 1345 00:49:41,108 --> 00:49:43,502 Isn't that a wonderful housewarming gift! 1346 00:49:43,545 --> 00:49:44,590 - He's a loser! 1347 00:49:44,633 --> 00:49:45,895 Lose him! 1348 00:49:45,939 --> 00:49:47,854 - Dad, Dad, he is not a loser. 1349 00:49:47,897 --> 00:49:51,771 He's the Doctor Steven the psychic was talking about. 1350 00:49:51,814 --> 00:49:52,902 - [Both] A doctor? 1351 00:49:52,946 --> 00:49:53,729 - Yes. 1352 00:49:53,773 --> 00:49:54,556 - Mel! 1353 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:55,905 - A doctor? 1354 00:49:55,949 --> 00:49:57,255 - D-o-c-t-o-r. 1355 00:49:57,298 --> 00:49:58,256 - A doctor! 1356 00:49:58,299 --> 00:50:01,346 [both cheering] 1357 00:50:01,389 --> 00:50:02,477 ♪ You made me love you 1358 00:50:02,521 --> 00:50:03,609 - Mom? 1359 00:50:03,652 --> 00:50:05,915 ♪ I didn't wanna do it 1360 00:50:05,959 --> 00:50:08,222 ♪ I didn't wanna do it 1361 00:50:08,266 --> 00:50:09,049 - Okay. 1362 00:50:09,093 --> 00:50:11,486 ♪ You made me want you 1363 00:50:11,530 --> 00:50:14,141 ♪ And all the time you knew it 1364 00:50:14,185 --> 00:50:16,056 ♪ I guess you always knew it 1365 00:50:16,100 --> 00:50:16,926 - Mom? 1366 00:50:16,970 --> 00:50:18,406 ♪ You made me happy 1367 00:50:18,450 --> 00:50:19,581 ♪ Sometimes 1368 00:50:19,625 --> 00:50:22,149 ♪ And made me sad 1369 00:50:22,193 --> 00:50:25,152 ♪ But there were times, Mel 1370 00:50:25,196 --> 00:50:26,893 ♪ When you made me feel 1371 00:50:26,936 --> 00:50:27,894 ♪ So bad 1372 00:50:27,937 --> 00:50:29,287 Boom, boom, boom. 1373 00:50:31,724 --> 00:50:32,986 - I'm pregnant! 1374 00:50:34,292 --> 00:50:36,598 [laughs] 1375 00:50:36,642 --> 00:50:37,425 - Pregnant? 1376 00:50:37,469 --> 00:50:38,774 - Yes, I'm pregnant. 1377 00:50:38,818 --> 00:50:40,124 [laughs] 1378 00:50:40,167 --> 00:50:41,951 I don't know with what, but it's yours. 1379 00:50:41,995 --> 00:50:44,041 [laughs] 1380 00:50:53,528 --> 00:50:57,097 ♪ Sex hex 1381 00:50:57,141 --> 00:51:01,971 ♪ Seed breeds 1382 00:51:02,015 --> 00:51:03,538 ♪ All I was doing 1383 00:51:03,582 --> 00:51:08,587 ♪ Was meeting my needs 1384 00:51:09,588 --> 00:51:13,766 ♪ Sperm yolk 1385 00:51:13,809 --> 00:51:15,985 ♪ Next time I'll think 1386 00:51:16,029 --> 00:51:18,684 ♪ Before I poke 1387 00:51:21,861 --> 00:51:24,342 [dog barking] 1388 00:51:28,868 --> 00:51:32,132 [upbeat rock music] 1389 00:51:32,176 --> 00:51:33,612 ♪ New father 1390 00:51:33,655 --> 00:51:35,222 ♪ Oh yeah 1391 00:51:35,266 --> 00:51:37,006 ♪ I found you 1392 00:51:37,050 --> 00:51:39,139 ♪ Love like I want 1393 00:51:39,183 --> 00:51:40,314 ♪ Oh yeah 1394 00:51:40,358 --> 00:51:41,707 ♪ Oh yeah 1395 00:51:41,750 --> 00:51:42,969 ♪ It's going 1396 00:51:43,012 --> 00:51:45,711 ♪ Like I knew you would 1397 00:51:45,754 --> 00:51:46,538 ♪ All 1398 00:51:46,581 --> 00:51:47,713 ♪ You all 1399 00:51:47,756 --> 00:51:49,541 ♪ Oh 1400 00:51:49,584 --> 00:51:51,804 ♪ Isn't that the way 1401 00:51:51,847 --> 00:51:53,545 ♪ I'll take the right 1402 00:51:53,588 --> 00:51:55,155 ♪ Not too bad 1403 00:51:55,199 --> 00:51:56,461 ♪ Grab the shift 1404 00:51:56,504 --> 00:52:01,509 ♪ Like everything 1405 00:52:03,381 --> 00:52:06,297 ♪ I need your love 1406 00:52:08,473 --> 00:52:09,996 Charlene? 1407 00:52:10,039 --> 00:52:11,128 Are you okay? 1408 00:52:13,347 --> 00:52:14,522 What happened? 1409 00:52:15,567 --> 00:52:19,397 [light acoustic guitar music] 1410 00:52:20,572 --> 00:52:22,530 ♪ We'll try again 1411 00:52:22,574 --> 00:52:23,488 - Okay. 1412 00:52:23,531 --> 00:52:25,229 ♪ Don't you cry, my friend 1413 00:52:25,272 --> 00:52:27,144 - [Charlene] Okay. 1414 00:52:27,187 --> 00:52:29,189 ♪ And we won't quit 1415 00:52:29,233 --> 00:52:34,151 ♪ Till we get it right 1416 00:52:34,803 --> 00:52:36,631 ♪ Mm mm 1417 00:52:36,675 --> 00:52:40,635 ♪ Mm mm mm mm mm 1418 00:52:40,679 --> 00:52:45,640 ♪ Mm mm mm mmm mmm 1419 00:52:45,684 --> 00:52:47,903 ♪ Mm mm 1420 00:52:47,947 --> 00:52:51,211 ♪ Mm mm mm 1421 00:52:51,255 --> 00:52:53,779 ♪ Mmm mmm mmm 1422 00:52:58,479 --> 00:53:01,961 [telephone rings] 1423 00:53:02,004 --> 00:53:03,658 I'll get it. 1424 00:53:03,702 --> 00:53:05,182 - Probably my mom. 1425 00:53:06,531 --> 00:53:07,923 - [Steven] Hello. 1426 00:53:07,967 --> 00:53:10,230 - It's my mom, isn't it? 1427 00:53:10,274 --> 00:53:11,275 - Yeah, well, it's been a month 1428 00:53:11,318 --> 00:53:12,580 since the miscarriage, 1429 00:53:12,624 --> 00:53:14,713 but I still think she thinks she's pregnant. 1430 00:53:14,756 --> 00:53:17,237 - Hey, are you talking about me? 1431 00:53:17,281 --> 00:53:18,717 - She's gonna die of cholesterol overdose, 1432 00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:19,674 let me tell you. 1433 00:53:19,718 --> 00:53:21,198 - I'm eating for two. 1434 00:53:21,241 --> 00:53:22,199 - Disgusting. 1435 00:53:22,242 --> 00:53:23,025 You should see this. 1436 00:53:23,069 --> 00:53:24,244 - You're disgusting. 1437 00:53:24,288 --> 00:53:25,202 - [Steven] No, you're disgusting. 1438 00:53:25,245 --> 00:53:26,377 - You're disgusting! 1439 00:53:26,420 --> 00:53:27,204 - [Steven] No, you're disgusting! 1440 00:53:27,247 --> 00:53:29,075 And I paid for it, too! 1441 00:53:29,118 --> 00:53:32,861 [light acoustic guitar music] 1442 00:53:33,775 --> 00:53:34,863 - Oh, Steven? 1443 00:53:36,517 --> 00:53:38,171 It's planting time. 1444 00:53:40,739 --> 00:53:42,480 - Oh, what a turn-on. 1445 00:53:43,698 --> 00:53:47,180 "Steven, it's time to attack the egg. 1446 00:53:47,224 --> 00:53:49,138 "Time to do the seed deed. 1447 00:53:49,182 --> 00:53:51,576 "Rush hour in the love canal. 1448 00:53:51,619 --> 00:53:53,273 "Scrum around the ovum. 1449 00:53:53,317 --> 00:53:56,058 "Bring on the sperminator." 1450 00:53:56,102 --> 00:53:59,279 That's what sex has become with you. 1451 00:53:59,323 --> 00:54:00,149 - Really? 1452 00:54:01,542 --> 00:54:05,807 - Now what do you have to say for yourself? 1453 00:54:05,851 --> 00:54:06,895 - Please? 1454 00:54:06,939 --> 00:54:08,941 I'll give you a blowjob. 1455 00:54:23,825 --> 00:54:26,263 - You're pregnant with twins. 1456 00:54:28,526 --> 00:54:29,353 - Oh. 1457 00:54:30,658 --> 00:54:34,358 I'm so happy, I feel like I wanna cry. 1458 00:54:34,401 --> 00:54:35,707 I am gonna cry. 1459 00:54:40,886 --> 00:54:42,279 - You're pregnant, aren't you? 1460 00:54:42,322 --> 00:54:43,454 - I'm twice as pregnant! 1461 00:54:43,497 --> 00:54:44,846 It's twins! 1462 00:54:44,890 --> 00:54:46,979 [laughs] 1463 00:54:58,904 --> 00:54:59,687 ♪ We lost one 1464 00:54:59,731 --> 00:55:02,168 ♪ Now we got two 1465 00:55:02,211 --> 00:55:03,343 ♪ Girl, I gave some 1466 00:55:03,387 --> 00:55:05,084 ♪ Super sperm to you 1467 00:55:05,127 --> 00:55:05,911 [laughing] 1468 00:55:05,954 --> 00:55:07,782 ♪ So you better 1469 00:55:07,826 --> 00:55:12,831 ♪ Treat your man super, too 1470 00:55:13,745 --> 00:55:14,702 ♪ Even though your skin 1471 00:55:14,746 --> 00:55:16,835 ♪ Felt clammy 1472 00:55:16,878 --> 00:55:19,011 ♪ I gave you a double whammy 1473 00:55:19,054 --> 00:55:21,840 ♪ Of sperm with love 1474 00:55:21,883 --> 00:55:26,627 ♪ From me to you 1475 00:55:26,671 --> 00:55:29,064 ♪ We lost one, now we got two 1476 00:55:29,108 --> 00:55:29,891 ♪ We got two 1477 00:55:29,935 --> 00:55:30,979 ♪ Girl, I gave some 1478 00:55:31,023 --> 00:55:33,068 ♪ Super sperm to you 1479 00:55:33,112 --> 00:55:34,374 ♪ So you better 1480 00:55:34,418 --> 00:55:39,423 ♪ Treat your man super, too 1481 00:55:40,380 --> 00:55:41,338 ♪ Even though your skin 1482 00:55:41,381 --> 00:55:43,122 ♪ Felt clammy 1483 00:55:43,165 --> 00:55:46,081 ♪ I gave you a double whammy 1484 00:55:46,125 --> 00:55:48,257 ♪ Of sperm with love 1485 00:55:48,301 --> 00:55:51,086 ♪ From me to you 1486 00:55:53,306 --> 00:55:55,830 [scat singing] 1487 00:56:02,446 --> 00:56:03,751 Charlene, 1488 00:56:03,795 --> 00:56:06,014 I can't take it anymore! 1489 00:56:06,058 --> 00:56:08,930 You married a man, not a maid. 1490 00:56:08,974 --> 00:56:10,105 I could understand if you were 1491 00:56:10,149 --> 00:56:11,193 a bit more appreciative, 1492 00:56:11,237 --> 00:56:12,543 but all you ever do is give me 1493 00:56:12,586 --> 00:56:14,196 blowjobs since you've been pregnant 1494 00:56:14,240 --> 00:56:16,068 and you never swallow! 1495 00:56:17,722 --> 00:56:20,420 - I told you, I'm allergic. 1496 00:56:20,464 --> 00:56:23,162 [yelling gibberish] 1497 00:56:23,205 --> 00:56:24,598 - [Charlene] Fear of another 1498 00:56:24,642 --> 00:56:27,427 miscarriage kept me on the couch for nine months. 1499 00:56:27,471 --> 00:56:28,297 It drove Steven over the edge. 1500 00:56:28,341 --> 00:56:30,169 [telephone rings] 1501 00:56:30,212 --> 00:56:33,477 [Steven screaming] 1502 00:56:33,520 --> 00:56:34,913 - Hello? 1503 00:56:34,956 --> 00:56:38,438 Um, he's in the middle of something right now. 1504 00:56:38,482 --> 00:56:39,352 Can I help? 1505 00:56:40,527 --> 00:56:41,789 Yeah, I'll see if he can break away. 1506 00:56:41,833 --> 00:56:42,616 Hold on. 1507 00:56:42,660 --> 00:56:43,487 Steven? 1508 00:56:44,488 --> 00:56:45,706 Steven, it's your agent. 1509 00:56:45,750 --> 00:56:46,664 It's Monty. 1510 00:56:47,752 --> 00:56:48,535 Monty. 1511 00:56:48,579 --> 00:56:50,363 It's your agent. 1512 00:56:50,407 --> 00:56:54,411 I think maybe he has a job for you or something. 1513 00:56:56,587 --> 00:56:57,414 - Hello? 1514 00:57:07,032 --> 00:57:08,729 It's over, Charlene. 1515 00:57:08,773 --> 00:57:10,252 I'm glad my super double whammy 1516 00:57:10,296 --> 00:57:12,907 is helping you fulfill your life's dream. 1517 00:57:12,951 --> 00:57:15,170 Now it's my turn to go out and fulfill mine. 1518 00:57:15,214 --> 00:57:16,041 Good-bye. 1519 00:57:18,043 --> 00:57:19,261 - Steven, wait. 1520 00:57:25,224 --> 00:57:27,444 [grunting] 1521 00:57:33,711 --> 00:57:35,190 - Ready to meet your kids? 1522 00:57:35,234 --> 00:57:36,017 - Yeah. 1523 00:57:36,061 --> 00:57:36,888 Okay. 1524 00:57:37,715 --> 00:57:38,759 Oh, Dr. Ruth? 1525 00:57:38,803 --> 00:57:39,891 Dr. Ruth? 1526 00:57:39,934 --> 00:57:41,196 - Yes? 1527 00:57:41,240 --> 00:57:42,371 - I have an idea. 1528 00:57:42,415 --> 00:57:44,156 Why don't we just skip 1529 00:57:44,199 --> 00:57:45,679 the C-section altogether 1530 00:57:45,723 --> 00:57:48,726 and we can pull them directly out of my mouth? 1531 00:57:48,769 --> 00:57:51,511 That's my largest orifice anyway. 1532 00:57:51,555 --> 00:57:52,512 - [Doctor] It's okay, Charlene. 1533 00:57:52,556 --> 00:57:53,470 - Okay. 1534 00:57:53,513 --> 00:57:54,209 - [Doctor] You're gonna be fine. 1535 00:57:54,253 --> 00:57:56,473 [yelling] 1536 00:58:00,259 --> 00:58:01,608 - [Charlene Voiceover] When the drugs kicked in, 1537 00:58:01,652 --> 00:58:05,046 my mother appeared to me in a horrible nightmare. 1538 00:58:05,090 --> 00:58:08,049 - Charlene, Charlene, Charlene. 1539 00:58:08,093 --> 00:58:09,398 This is your mommy. 1540 00:58:09,442 --> 00:58:10,835 Your boys have weenies. 1541 00:58:10,878 --> 00:58:12,532 You must be careful. 1542 00:58:19,408 --> 00:58:20,540 - Louise, these are delicious. 1543 00:58:20,584 --> 00:58:21,410 - Oh! 1544 00:58:21,454 --> 00:58:23,543 What a fabulous spread! 1545 00:58:23,587 --> 00:58:24,718 Look at this. 1546 00:58:24,762 --> 00:58:27,416 Salami, chicken mix, potato chips. 1547 00:58:28,679 --> 00:58:31,638 Charlene, it's magnificent. 1548 00:58:31,682 --> 00:58:32,857 Oh, delicious. 1549 00:58:35,686 --> 00:58:37,426 - Don't need to cover it up. 1550 00:58:37,470 --> 00:58:38,732 - I'll cover it. 1551 00:58:38,776 --> 00:58:40,995 - What's going on with the cellophane, Dad? 1552 00:58:41,039 --> 00:58:41,866 - Charlene! 1553 00:58:41,909 --> 00:58:43,389 - Take it off. 1554 00:58:43,432 --> 00:58:44,042 People think you're not supposed to eat the food. 1555 00:58:44,085 --> 00:58:45,130 Take it off. 1556 00:58:45,173 --> 00:58:46,784 - It'll spoil! 1557 00:58:46,827 --> 00:58:48,002 - This is not New Jersey. 1558 00:58:48,046 --> 00:58:49,047 - You'll eat it after the bris. 1559 00:58:49,090 --> 00:58:49,874 Know-it-all! 1560 00:58:49,917 --> 00:58:50,701 Know-it-all! 1561 00:58:50,744 --> 00:58:51,571 - Leave it off. 1562 00:58:51,615 --> 00:58:52,398 This is my bris. 1563 00:58:52,441 --> 00:58:53,312 It's not your bris. 1564 00:58:53,355 --> 00:58:54,574 I want things the way I want it. 1565 00:58:54,618 --> 00:58:55,836 - Charlene, people are listening, keep it down. 1566 00:58:55,880 --> 00:58:59,579 - Mom, can I speak with you just for a minute? 1567 00:59:04,758 --> 00:59:07,587 Mom, I have fallen deeply in love. 1568 00:59:08,545 --> 00:59:10,459 - That's wonderful! 1569 00:59:10,503 --> 00:59:11,591 Mazel tov! 1570 00:59:11,635 --> 00:59:12,592 What's her name? 1571 00:59:12,636 --> 00:59:14,159 - Her name is Leo. 1572 00:59:15,334 --> 00:59:17,379 [coughs] 1573 00:59:18,859 --> 00:59:20,557 - You're a pansy boy? 1574 00:59:22,515 --> 00:59:23,385 Cliff, it's all right. 1575 00:59:23,429 --> 00:59:24,604 It's all right. 1576 00:59:24,648 --> 00:59:25,562 It's not your fault, it's my fault. 1577 00:59:25,605 --> 00:59:26,475 - Mom, it's not anybody's fault. 1578 00:59:26,519 --> 00:59:27,694 - It's my fault, Cliffy. 1579 00:59:27,738 --> 00:59:29,217 I should've never have let you pick out fabric. 1580 00:59:29,261 --> 00:59:30,610 I should've never have let you paint my toenails. 1581 00:59:30,654 --> 00:59:31,524 I should never, never, 1582 00:59:31,568 --> 00:59:32,481 never let you go three years 1583 00:59:32,525 --> 00:59:34,483 in a row as Cher on Halloween. 1584 00:59:34,527 --> 00:59:35,484 - Come on, he's here. 1585 00:59:35,528 --> 00:59:36,921 I want you to meet him. 1586 00:59:36,964 --> 00:59:37,661 - [Charlene Voiceover] Personally, I have nothing 1587 00:59:37,704 --> 00:59:38,879 against gay men. 1588 00:59:38,923 --> 00:59:40,968 It's just that every time they get together, 1589 00:59:41,012 --> 00:59:43,318 I lose two potential husbands. 1590 00:59:43,362 --> 00:59:44,537 - This is Leo. 1591 00:59:46,887 --> 00:59:47,671 - Oh! 1592 00:59:47,714 --> 00:59:48,541 Mom! 1593 00:59:48,585 --> 00:59:49,368 - Oh, my God! 1594 00:59:49,411 --> 00:59:50,195 - Call 911! 1595 00:59:50,238 --> 00:59:51,022 Honey! 1596 00:59:51,065 --> 00:59:51,849 - What have I done? 1597 00:59:51,892 --> 00:59:53,415 Mel! 1598 00:59:53,459 --> 00:59:54,765 He's got braids. 1599 00:59:57,637 --> 01:00:00,727 [knocking on door] 1600 01:00:00,771 --> 01:00:02,163 - Hola. 1601 01:00:02,207 --> 01:00:03,991 Marisole Martinez? 1602 01:00:04,035 --> 01:00:04,818 - Si. 1603 01:00:04,862 --> 01:00:05,645 Hola. 1604 01:00:05,689 --> 01:00:06,515 Senora-- 1605 01:00:06,559 --> 01:00:07,342 - Charlene. 1606 01:00:07,386 --> 01:00:08,300 Call me Charlene. 1607 01:00:08,343 --> 01:00:09,170 - Charlene, me gusta, Charlene. 1608 01:00:09,214 --> 01:00:10,432 - Thank you. 1609 01:00:10,476 --> 01:00:13,827 The kids are upstairs, sleeping. 1610 01:00:13,871 --> 01:00:14,698 [speaking foreign language] 1611 01:00:14,741 --> 01:00:16,308 - Yes, yes. 1612 01:00:16,351 --> 01:00:17,178 So, um, 1613 01:00:17,222 --> 01:00:18,658 no, no, no, no, no. 1614 01:00:18,702 --> 01:00:21,661 Come in, come in, come in, come in. 1615 01:00:21,705 --> 01:00:23,837 We'll go upstairs and take a look at them. 1616 01:00:23,881 --> 01:00:25,099 Hasta la vista. 1617 01:00:25,143 --> 01:00:25,926 Andale. 1618 01:00:25,970 --> 01:00:27,580 [both laugh] 1619 01:00:27,624 --> 01:00:29,321 It was tough being a single mom, 1620 01:00:29,364 --> 01:00:30,931 but with Marisole's help, 1621 01:00:30,975 --> 01:00:32,672 we got through the terrible twos. 1622 01:00:32,716 --> 01:00:34,674 Can you clear for a minute while me and my boys pass? 1623 01:00:34,718 --> 01:00:36,371 You see, when my boys are big enough, 1624 01:00:36,415 --> 01:00:37,851 and they'll be playing with you, too. 1625 01:00:37,895 --> 01:00:39,766 - In your dreams, lady! 1626 01:00:41,594 --> 01:00:42,943 - Excuse me? 1627 01:00:42,987 --> 01:00:43,944 - That one's not a boy, 1628 01:00:43,988 --> 01:00:44,771 that's a girl. 1629 01:00:44,815 --> 01:00:45,685 - No, he's not! 1630 01:00:45,729 --> 01:00:46,730 He's a boy! 1631 01:00:46,773 --> 01:00:48,296 - No, that's a girl! 1632 01:00:48,340 --> 01:00:51,691 - No, he's a boy, and he's macho, just like his mom! 1633 01:00:51,735 --> 01:00:52,692 - You're not macho! 1634 01:00:52,736 --> 01:00:53,606 You have titties! 1635 01:00:53,650 --> 01:00:54,694 - Ha. 1636 01:00:54,738 --> 01:00:55,608 No, wait a minute. 1637 01:00:55,652 --> 01:00:56,435 These are not titties, 1638 01:00:56,478 --> 01:00:57,697 they're hand grenades, 1639 01:00:57,741 --> 01:00:59,351 and I'm gonna throw one at you right now! 1640 01:00:59,394 --> 01:01:00,482 You, too! 1641 01:01:00,526 --> 01:01:01,614 That's right, kids! 1642 01:01:01,658 --> 01:01:02,441 Keep running! 1643 01:01:02,484 --> 01:01:03,268 That's right! 1644 01:01:03,311 --> 01:01:04,443 Keep running! 1645 01:01:05,444 --> 01:01:07,185 Unbelievable! 1646 01:01:07,228 --> 01:01:08,577 Where are their mothers? 1647 01:01:08,621 --> 01:01:09,970 Can you believe that? 1648 01:01:10,014 --> 01:01:11,580 Unbelievable. 1649 01:01:11,624 --> 01:01:13,626 When you get big, don't play with those bad boys. 1650 01:01:13,670 --> 01:01:16,629 [light jazz music] 1651 01:01:18,196 --> 01:01:20,372 Between writing and taking care of my kids, 1652 01:01:20,415 --> 01:01:23,462 it had been a long time since my last date. 1653 01:01:23,505 --> 01:01:25,551 One day while cleaning out my closet, 1654 01:01:25,594 --> 01:01:28,467 I found my old Dr. Steven paper dolls. 1655 01:01:28,510 --> 01:01:29,729 Now, don't get me wrong, 1656 01:01:29,773 --> 01:01:31,426 I wasn't going back on my Steven quest, 1657 01:01:31,470 --> 01:01:34,473 but this guy was worth another look. 1658 01:01:43,308 --> 01:01:44,918 Hello, Steven? 1659 01:01:44,962 --> 01:01:47,747 Yeah, yeah, it's Charlene. 1660 01:01:47,791 --> 01:01:49,618 How did you know it was me? 1661 01:01:49,662 --> 01:01:50,837 Ha ha. 1662 01:01:50,881 --> 01:01:52,926 I do not have a funny voice. 1663 01:01:52,970 --> 01:01:56,408 [light orchestral music] 1664 01:02:00,281 --> 01:02:04,938 There he was in all his Roman god-bachelor glory. 1665 01:02:04,982 --> 01:02:08,246 Being single obviously agreed with this guy. 1666 01:02:08,289 --> 01:02:10,117 The great thing about being attracted to 1667 01:02:10,161 --> 01:02:13,817 unavailable men is they're always available. 1668 01:02:30,398 --> 01:02:31,965 Justice, play nice. 1669 01:02:33,401 --> 01:02:34,315 - [Steven] It's really nice of you 1670 01:02:34,359 --> 01:02:35,708 to come here with the kids. 1671 01:02:35,752 --> 01:02:37,797 - Yeah, they really love it here. 1672 01:02:37,841 --> 01:02:40,147 They like to play with the balls. 1673 01:02:40,191 --> 01:02:43,063 - Does Mommy play with the balls, too? 1674 01:02:43,107 --> 01:02:44,021 - Sometimes. 1675 01:02:44,064 --> 01:02:45,196 - Yeah? 1676 01:02:45,239 --> 01:02:46,980 You should go in there, too, you know? 1677 01:02:47,024 --> 01:02:48,677 - [Charlene] Oh, I don't think so. 1678 01:02:48,721 --> 01:02:50,549 I'm too big for that. 1679 01:02:50,592 --> 01:02:51,376 - [Steven] Really? 1680 01:02:51,419 --> 01:02:53,030 - [Charlene] Yeah. 1681 01:02:53,073 --> 01:02:54,858 - Maybe we should go in there together. 1682 01:02:54,901 --> 01:02:56,729 [laughs] 1683 01:02:56,773 --> 01:02:57,643 - You look pretty good. 1684 01:02:57,686 --> 01:02:58,775 - [Steven] Yeah? 1685 01:02:58,818 --> 01:03:00,298 - You look good for an aging, 1686 01:03:00,341 --> 01:03:01,995 confirmed bachelor with no 1687 01:03:02,039 --> 01:03:06,260 marital prospects on the horizon any time soon. 1688 01:03:06,304 --> 01:03:09,176 - [Steven] Well, I, I loved your lips. 1689 01:03:09,220 --> 01:03:10,003 - Hmm. 1690 01:03:10,047 --> 01:03:11,048 Thank you. 1691 01:03:11,091 --> 01:03:14,051 - [Steven] I loved your lips. 1692 01:03:14,094 --> 01:03:15,661 - Thank you. 1693 01:03:15,704 --> 01:03:17,837 - [Steven] You're welcome. 1694 01:03:24,191 --> 01:03:25,802 - Justice? 1695 01:03:25,845 --> 01:03:27,107 Justice! 1696 01:03:27,151 --> 01:03:28,369 Oh, my God! 1697 01:03:28,413 --> 01:03:29,196 Justice! 1698 01:03:29,240 --> 01:03:30,154 Justice! 1699 01:03:30,197 --> 01:03:30,850 - [Steven] It's all right. 1700 01:03:30,894 --> 01:03:31,677 - Justice! 1701 01:03:31,720 --> 01:03:32,504 Justice! 1702 01:03:32,547 --> 01:03:33,331 Justice, where are you? 1703 01:03:33,374 --> 01:03:34,332 Justice! 1704 01:03:34,375 --> 01:03:35,507 Justice! 1705 01:03:35,550 --> 01:03:37,030 Justice, where are you? 1706 01:03:37,074 --> 01:03:38,205 Justice! 1707 01:03:38,249 --> 01:03:39,511 Justice, answer me! 1708 01:03:39,554 --> 01:03:40,860 - [Steven] I'm looking for him! 1709 01:03:40,904 --> 01:03:42,209 - Justice! 1710 01:03:42,253 --> 01:03:43,167 Justice! 1711 01:03:43,210 --> 01:03:44,559 Justice, this isn't funny! 1712 01:03:44,603 --> 01:03:45,560 Where are you? 1713 01:03:45,604 --> 01:03:46,735 Justice! 1714 01:03:46,779 --> 01:03:47,911 - Charlene, I got him. 1715 01:03:47,954 --> 01:03:49,260 Charlene, he's right here. 1716 01:03:49,303 --> 01:03:50,261 I got him. 1717 01:03:50,304 --> 01:03:51,088 I got him. 1718 01:03:51,131 --> 01:03:51,915 He's right here. 1719 01:03:51,958 --> 01:03:52,916 They're both right here. 1720 01:03:52,959 --> 01:03:53,873 - [Charlene] Oh, my God. 1721 01:03:53,917 --> 01:03:54,613 - They're doing all right. 1722 01:03:54,656 --> 01:03:55,832 Yeah, come on. 1723 01:03:57,355 --> 01:03:58,922 He was just over here looking at the ocean and stuff. 1724 01:03:58,965 --> 01:04:00,967 - Mommy was so worried! 1725 01:04:01,011 --> 01:04:01,838 Oh, honey! 1726 01:04:03,448 --> 01:04:04,536 That was great. 1727 01:04:04,579 --> 01:04:05,406 Thanks. 1728 01:04:05,450 --> 01:04:06,233 - You're welcome. 1729 01:04:06,277 --> 01:04:07,060 - I had a good time. 1730 01:04:07,104 --> 01:04:07,974 - So did I. 1731 01:04:08,018 --> 01:04:09,410 - Thanks for all the balloons, 1732 01:04:09,454 --> 01:04:12,892 and thanks for the refrigerator magnet and-- 1733 01:04:12,936 --> 01:04:13,980 - No problem. 1734 01:04:15,242 --> 01:04:19,290 - So, um, do you have a date tonight or what? 1735 01:04:19,333 --> 01:04:20,682 - No, I'm just gonna go home 1736 01:04:20,726 --> 01:04:23,947 and practice my violin and smoke my pipe. 1737 01:04:23,990 --> 01:04:25,078 - Hmm. 1738 01:04:25,122 --> 01:04:25,949 That sounds nice. 1739 01:04:25,992 --> 01:04:26,906 - Yeah. 1740 01:04:26,950 --> 01:04:28,212 - Especially the pipe part. 1741 01:04:28,255 --> 01:04:30,518 [laughs] 1742 01:04:30,562 --> 01:04:32,433 - Well, I guess the boys will sleep well tonight. 1743 01:04:32,477 --> 01:04:33,870 - Yeah. 1744 01:04:33,913 --> 01:04:35,828 - And if you take a Valium, so will their mom. 1745 01:04:35,872 --> 01:04:37,917 [laughs] 1746 01:04:43,618 --> 01:04:44,402 - Oh, your coat. 1747 01:04:44,445 --> 01:04:45,229 - Yeah. 1748 01:04:45,272 --> 01:04:47,448 [laughs] 1749 01:04:47,492 --> 01:04:49,320 Don't wanna take that. 1750 01:04:50,799 --> 01:04:51,800 - [Steven] Let me help you. 1751 01:04:51,844 --> 01:04:53,498 - [Charlene] Thank you. 1752 01:04:53,541 --> 01:04:54,542 - Drive safely. 1753 01:04:54,586 --> 01:04:55,630 - [Charlene] All right, I will. 1754 01:04:55,674 --> 01:04:56,544 I always do. 1755 01:04:56,588 --> 01:04:57,371 - Okay. 1756 01:04:57,415 --> 01:04:58,459 - [Charlene] Okay. 1757 01:04:58,503 --> 01:04:59,417 - Take care. 1758 01:04:59,460 --> 01:05:00,331 - [Charlene] All right, I will. 1759 01:05:00,374 --> 01:05:01,636 The problem with Dr. Steven 1760 01:05:01,680 --> 01:05:04,204 Stevenson was he's too good-looking, 1761 01:05:04,248 --> 01:05:05,945 he's too well-endowed, 1762 01:05:05,989 --> 01:05:07,729 and he's much too successful. 1763 01:05:07,773 --> 01:05:10,819 How could he not be a womanizer? 1764 01:05:10,863 --> 01:05:12,343 I have to move on. 1765 01:05:15,215 --> 01:05:16,521 I've laid off the doctors, 1766 01:05:16,564 --> 01:05:18,436 but the Stevens just keep coming. 1767 01:05:18,479 --> 01:05:21,134 Ironically, my new boyfriend's name is Steven, 1768 01:05:21,178 --> 01:05:24,442 Steven Troy, but he's a contractor. 1769 01:05:24,485 --> 01:05:26,923 A very good one, I might add. 1770 01:05:29,360 --> 01:05:32,276 - Work's all finished, ma'am. 1771 01:05:32,319 --> 01:05:35,409 - Did you fix the stone on the pavement? 1772 01:05:35,453 --> 01:05:37,063 - It's fixed. 1773 01:05:37,107 --> 01:05:40,327 - What about the drip in the fountain? 1774 01:05:40,371 --> 01:05:42,242 - It's fixed. 1775 01:05:42,286 --> 01:05:45,942 - Did you screw in the light by the gate? 1776 01:05:45,985 --> 01:05:47,030 - It's fixed. 1777 01:05:48,422 --> 01:05:50,685 - Are you ready to be paid? 1778 01:05:52,861 --> 01:05:53,862 - I'm ready. 1779 01:05:54,994 --> 01:05:57,344 - Come upstairs, Mr. Troy. 1780 01:05:57,388 --> 01:06:01,479 I think I have something that might interest you. 1781 01:06:04,482 --> 01:06:07,224 - Good thing I brought my hammer. 1782 01:06:08,573 --> 01:06:09,400 [country music] 1783 01:06:09,443 --> 01:06:12,577 [passionate moaning] 1784 01:06:15,797 --> 01:06:17,190 Nice. 1785 01:06:17,234 --> 01:06:20,063 - [Steven] I wanna bronze your labia minora. 1786 01:06:20,106 --> 01:06:21,194 - Really? 1787 01:06:21,238 --> 01:06:22,761 [laughs] 1788 01:06:22,804 --> 01:06:23,631 Okay. 1789 01:06:26,243 --> 01:06:29,333 [passionate moaning] 1790 01:06:30,899 --> 01:06:33,032 [giggles] 1791 01:06:38,951 --> 01:06:41,084 [moaning] 1792 01:06:43,129 --> 01:06:45,001 Wait, wait, wait, wait. 1793 01:06:45,044 --> 01:06:46,828 Um, condoms. 1794 01:06:46,872 --> 01:06:47,655 Safe sex. 1795 01:06:47,699 --> 01:06:48,743 Do you have any? 1796 01:06:48,787 --> 01:06:49,570 - Uh-- 1797 01:06:49,614 --> 01:06:50,397 - In my bathroom. 1798 01:06:50,441 --> 01:06:51,224 Wait. 1799 01:06:51,268 --> 01:06:52,051 Hold on. 1800 01:06:52,095 --> 01:06:52,921 Stay there. 1801 01:06:52,965 --> 01:06:54,445 Stay, stay, Rover. 1802 01:07:02,105 --> 01:07:03,367 [moaning] 1803 01:07:03,410 --> 01:07:04,194 - Are you okay? 1804 01:07:04,237 --> 01:07:05,064 - Yeah. 1805 01:07:05,108 --> 01:07:05,891 - You sure? 1806 01:07:05,934 --> 01:07:07,066 - Yeah. 1807 01:07:07,110 --> 01:07:09,329 - Bring it on home! 1808 01:07:09,373 --> 01:07:10,461 - Oh! 1809 01:07:10,504 --> 01:07:11,766 Oh, oh, oh, oh. 1810 01:07:14,682 --> 01:07:15,944 - Whoo! 1811 01:07:15,988 --> 01:07:16,771 Hell. 1812 01:07:16,815 --> 01:07:17,816 - Oh, God. 1813 01:07:17,859 --> 01:07:18,773 Oh! 1814 01:07:18,817 --> 01:07:19,818 - You know what they say. 1815 01:07:19,861 --> 01:07:20,819 - What? 1816 01:07:20,862 --> 01:07:22,908 - Seventh time is a charm. 1817 01:07:22,951 --> 01:07:25,432 [both laugh] 1818 01:07:25,476 --> 01:07:28,348 [knocking on door] 1819 01:07:29,610 --> 01:07:30,350 - [Charlene] Hello. 1820 01:07:30,394 --> 01:07:31,264 - Hey. 1821 01:07:31,308 --> 01:07:32,048 - [Charlene] How are you? 1822 01:07:32,091 --> 01:07:33,266 - I'm good. 1823 01:07:33,310 --> 01:07:34,093 - Good. 1824 01:07:34,137 --> 01:07:35,573 - How are you? 1825 01:07:35,616 --> 01:07:37,879 - Oh, I'm fine, thank you. 1826 01:07:37,923 --> 01:07:39,098 - Good. 1827 01:07:39,142 --> 01:07:40,056 - I'm fine. 1828 01:07:41,318 --> 01:07:42,275 Cute. 1829 01:07:42,319 --> 01:07:43,320 - Yeah, I think, you know, 1830 01:07:43,363 --> 01:07:44,799 they'll like it. 1831 01:07:44,843 --> 01:07:45,757 - They're sleeping. 1832 01:07:45,800 --> 01:07:47,411 They should wake up pretty soon. 1833 01:07:47,454 --> 01:07:50,283 If you wanna wait, we can maybe 1834 01:07:50,327 --> 01:07:52,807 have a cup of tea out on the patio. 1835 01:07:52,851 --> 01:07:54,026 - Okay. 1836 01:07:54,070 --> 01:07:55,636 - Okay. 1837 01:07:55,680 --> 01:07:56,724 I'll make it. 1838 01:07:57,725 --> 01:07:59,205 I'll be right out. 1839 01:08:06,821 --> 01:08:08,301 All my divorced male friends 1840 01:08:08,345 --> 01:08:09,998 envy my ex-husband because 1841 01:08:10,042 --> 01:08:12,175 I set him up with other women. 1842 01:08:12,218 --> 01:08:13,437 I do it for me, 1843 01:08:13,480 --> 01:08:15,482 because the happier he is, 1844 01:08:15,526 --> 01:08:19,486 the less guilty I feel for driving him over the edge. 1845 01:08:19,530 --> 01:08:21,314 And then also for my sons, 1846 01:08:21,358 --> 01:08:23,011 because I'd like their stepmom 1847 01:08:23,055 --> 01:08:26,972 to be someone who doesn't have a police record. 1848 01:08:33,848 --> 01:08:34,762 Here we go. 1849 01:08:36,895 --> 01:08:38,549 A little tea I whipped up myself 1850 01:08:38,592 --> 01:08:41,117 in the recesses of my kitchen. 1851 01:08:42,509 --> 01:08:45,773 - The contractor did a nice job with the terrace. 1852 01:08:45,817 --> 01:08:50,517 - Yeah, well Steven does a great job with everything. 1853 01:08:50,561 --> 01:08:51,649 - Another Steven. 1854 01:08:51,692 --> 01:08:53,172 - Mm-hmm. 1855 01:08:53,216 --> 01:08:54,434 - Well, obviously you've slept with him. 1856 01:08:54,478 --> 01:08:55,261 - Obviously? 1857 01:08:55,305 --> 01:08:56,349 What obviously? 1858 01:08:56,393 --> 01:08:57,481 - Well, duh. 1859 01:08:57,524 --> 01:08:58,351 - Duh. 1860 01:08:59,265 --> 01:09:00,092 Okay. 1861 01:09:00,136 --> 01:09:00,919 All right. 1862 01:09:00,962 --> 01:09:01,746 Fine, I slept with him. 1863 01:09:01,789 --> 01:09:02,703 So? 1864 01:09:02,747 --> 01:09:05,663 - Well, like, of course you did. 1865 01:09:05,706 --> 01:09:08,796 What kind of medicine does he practice? 1866 01:09:08,840 --> 01:09:10,885 - He's a sexual healer. 1867 01:09:10,929 --> 01:09:12,278 Every time he walks in the room, 1868 01:09:12,322 --> 01:09:15,890 I hear Marvin Gaye singing "Sexual Healing." 1869 01:09:15,934 --> 01:09:17,457 - Please, Charlene. 1870 01:09:20,504 --> 01:09:22,027 You know, the problem with you 1871 01:09:22,070 --> 01:09:26,031 and I is we just, we just don't communicate very well. 1872 01:09:27,380 --> 01:09:28,686 - Boy. 1873 01:09:28,729 --> 01:09:29,687 You said it. 1874 01:09:31,384 --> 01:09:32,342 Once you ran out of songs, 1875 01:09:32,385 --> 01:09:34,213 there was really nothing left 1876 01:09:34,257 --> 01:09:35,780 to say, was there? 1877 01:09:42,134 --> 01:09:45,485 - I do think you have nice breasts, though. 1878 01:09:45,529 --> 01:09:46,312 - Thank you. 1879 01:09:46,356 --> 01:09:47,226 [clears throat] 1880 01:09:47,270 --> 01:09:48,793 They're implants. 1881 01:09:48,836 --> 01:09:51,012 I'll leave them to you in my will. 1882 01:09:51,056 --> 01:09:52,579 - No way! 1883 01:09:52,623 --> 01:09:53,580 - Yes way. 1884 01:09:53,624 --> 01:09:55,147 Ha ha. 1885 01:09:55,191 --> 01:09:57,105 - You had me fooled. 1886 01:09:57,149 --> 01:09:58,019 - Goosed. 1887 01:09:58,063 --> 01:09:59,151 Every time a man is fooled, 1888 01:09:59,195 --> 01:10:02,328 another plastic surgeon gets his wings. 1889 01:10:02,372 --> 01:10:04,809 - That is, like, such a good job, really. 1890 01:10:04,852 --> 01:10:05,766 - Thank you. 1891 01:10:05,810 --> 01:10:06,724 I'm glad you appreciate it. 1892 01:10:06,767 --> 01:10:08,247 - Hey! 1893 01:10:08,291 --> 01:10:09,466 Hey, you! 1894 01:10:09,509 --> 01:10:11,250 - Give a kiss, Daddy! 1895 01:10:12,469 --> 01:10:14,427 - Come on, I want a kiss over here, too. 1896 01:10:14,471 --> 01:10:15,254 Come on. 1897 01:10:15,298 --> 01:10:16,603 Come on. 1898 01:10:16,647 --> 01:10:17,300 Give me a kiss, give me a kiss, give me a kiss. 1899 01:10:17,343 --> 01:10:18,214 Come on. 1900 01:10:18,257 --> 01:10:19,040 Mmm-whah! 1901 01:10:19,084 --> 01:10:20,520 How you guys doing? 1902 01:10:20,564 --> 01:10:21,347 Who wants the chicken? 1903 01:10:21,391 --> 01:10:22,522 Who wants the bear? 1904 01:10:22,566 --> 01:10:23,828 Who wants the chicken? 1905 01:10:23,871 --> 01:10:24,916 You want the bear? 1906 01:10:24,959 --> 01:10:25,960 You want the chicken? 1907 01:10:26,004 --> 01:10:29,660 [dramatic orchestral music] 1908 01:10:39,757 --> 01:10:42,629 Who wants to play with the truck? 1909 01:10:42,673 --> 01:10:43,500 All right! 1910 01:10:50,855 --> 01:10:53,640 [upbeat funk music] 1911 01:10:53,684 --> 01:10:55,120 - Dr. Steven? 1912 01:10:55,163 --> 01:10:57,557 Excuse me, can you, um, hi. 1913 01:10:57,601 --> 01:10:58,384 - [Steven] Hi. 1914 01:10:58,428 --> 01:10:59,255 Can I help you? 1915 01:10:59,298 --> 01:11:00,691 - Um, yes. 1916 01:11:00,734 --> 01:11:03,215 As a matter of fact, you can. 1917 01:11:04,782 --> 01:11:06,784 Look, I'm in extreme need of 1918 01:11:06,827 --> 01:11:08,655 a physical for work, and since 1919 01:11:08,699 --> 01:11:09,743 we're in the same building, 1920 01:11:09,787 --> 01:11:11,267 I thought maybe if you give 1921 01:11:11,310 --> 01:11:13,834 me your card, I could call you for an appointment. 1922 01:11:13,878 --> 01:11:15,053 - I'd love to. 1923 01:11:15,096 --> 01:11:17,185 Lord knows I can use the business. 1924 01:11:17,229 --> 01:11:21,494 But unfortunately, I'm only licensed to examine your feet. 1925 01:11:21,538 --> 01:11:22,669 - My feet? 1926 01:11:22,713 --> 01:11:23,714 Only my feet? 1927 01:11:25,063 --> 01:11:26,282 A podiatrist. 1928 01:11:26,325 --> 01:11:29,546 So what exactly is it you guys do anyway? 1929 01:11:30,721 --> 01:11:32,766 At least he's not a proctologist. 1930 01:11:32,810 --> 01:11:34,202 I wouldn't want one of those guys handling 1931 01:11:34,246 --> 01:11:35,726 the boys' bottles. 1932 01:11:37,597 --> 01:11:39,207 - I'm sure you've been told 1933 01:11:39,251 --> 01:11:41,253 many times you have beautiful legs. 1934 01:11:41,297 --> 01:11:44,996 - Well, not many times, but thank you. 1935 01:11:45,039 --> 01:11:46,258 I can't believe I've never 1936 01:11:46,302 --> 01:11:47,085 run into you before. 1937 01:11:47,128 --> 01:11:47,999 It just seems, sorry. 1938 01:11:48,042 --> 01:11:48,826 - Excuse me. 1939 01:11:48,869 --> 01:11:49,740 - I'm sorry. 1940 01:11:49,783 --> 01:11:51,002 - Well, I know. 1941 01:11:51,045 --> 01:11:51,916 It seems working in the same building, 1942 01:11:51,959 --> 01:11:52,786 you'd think we'd sooner or later 1943 01:11:52,830 --> 01:11:54,397 bump into each other. 1944 01:11:54,440 --> 01:11:55,485 - Yeah, you would think, 1945 01:11:55,528 --> 01:11:57,487 you know, you being a podiatrist 1946 01:11:57,530 --> 01:11:59,315 and me being in sales. 1947 01:11:59,358 --> 01:12:00,228 - Yeah. 1948 01:12:00,272 --> 01:12:01,186 You know, I can't help notice, 1949 01:12:01,229 --> 01:12:02,361 but your feet are perfect. 1950 01:12:02,405 --> 01:12:03,362 What are they, 1951 01:12:03,406 --> 01:12:04,232 a seven and a half, an eight? 1952 01:12:04,276 --> 01:12:05,146 - Oh, my God. 1953 01:12:05,190 --> 01:12:06,060 You do know what you're doing? 1954 01:12:06,104 --> 01:12:07,105 They're seven and a half. 1955 01:12:07,148 --> 01:12:08,367 - And those are lovely shoes. 1956 01:12:08,411 --> 01:12:09,803 Were they some sort of reptile? 1957 01:12:09,847 --> 01:12:10,891 - Yes. 1958 01:12:10,935 --> 01:12:11,936 Rattlesnake. 1959 01:12:13,807 --> 01:12:16,419 Dangerous Ecuadorian rattlesnake. 1960 01:12:16,462 --> 01:12:17,289 Killed him myself. 1961 01:12:17,333 --> 01:12:18,116 - Really? 1962 01:12:18,159 --> 01:12:18,943 - Skinned him. 1963 01:12:18,986 --> 01:12:20,161 Ate the flesh. 1964 01:12:20,205 --> 01:12:22,076 Made shoes out of the attractive skins. 1965 01:12:22,120 --> 01:12:23,382 - Well, I think that's a good 1966 01:12:23,426 --> 01:12:24,470 result for a snake, to end up 1967 01:12:24,514 --> 01:12:25,558 a shoe on a beautiful woman's foot. 1968 01:12:25,602 --> 01:12:26,994 - Oh, thank you. 1969 01:12:27,038 --> 01:12:28,561 [laughs] 1970 01:12:28,605 --> 01:12:31,216 Well, so I wish I could compliment your outfit, 1971 01:12:31,259 --> 01:12:32,957 but I just can't. 1972 01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:33,914 - I know. 1973 01:12:33,958 --> 01:12:35,263 It's sort of doctor-ware. 1974 01:12:35,307 --> 01:12:36,090 You're gonna get-- 1975 01:12:36,134 --> 01:12:36,917 - Utilitarian. 1976 01:12:36,961 --> 01:12:38,484 - Yeah. 1977 01:12:38,528 --> 01:12:39,442 - [Charlene] I always wanted to use that word in a sentence. 1978 01:12:39,485 --> 01:12:41,095 Ha ha. 1979 01:12:41,139 --> 01:12:42,923 - Well, this my floor. 1980 01:12:42,967 --> 01:12:44,229 - Oh, really? 1981 01:12:44,272 --> 01:12:45,491 It's been highly enjoyable traveling 1982 01:12:45,535 --> 01:12:47,058 the escalator with you. 1983 01:12:47,101 --> 01:12:48,059 - Yes. 1984 01:12:48,102 --> 01:12:48,886 Since we're flirting-- 1985 01:12:48,929 --> 01:12:49,713 - We are? 1986 01:12:49,756 --> 01:12:50,931 - Well, I think we are. 1987 01:12:50,975 --> 01:12:52,455 I just wanted to disclose the fact 1988 01:12:52,498 --> 01:12:56,284 that my wife and I of 10 years separated two weeks ago. 1989 01:12:56,328 --> 01:12:57,416 - Oh, really? 1990 01:12:57,460 --> 01:12:58,635 - We're getting divorced. 1991 01:12:58,678 --> 01:12:59,287 I'm not running around or anything, but-- 1992 01:12:59,331 --> 01:13:00,767 - Oh. 1993 01:13:00,811 --> 01:13:02,247 I'm really sorry to hear that. 1994 01:13:02,290 --> 01:13:03,466 - Yeah. 1995 01:13:03,509 --> 01:13:05,250 - You, uh, you seem like somebody that's 1996 01:13:05,293 --> 01:13:07,426 been hurt, and I feel like 1997 01:13:07,470 --> 01:13:08,819 you might need a shoulder to 1998 01:13:08,862 --> 01:13:11,212 cry on sometime in the very near future. 1999 01:13:11,256 --> 01:13:13,737 So, uh, I wanna give you this. 2000 01:13:15,956 --> 01:13:18,306 - "Dr. Anton Bowman, L.C.S.W." 2001 01:13:18,350 --> 01:13:19,351 What does that stand for? 2002 01:13:19,395 --> 01:13:20,439 - Well, it stands for a very 2003 01:13:20,483 --> 01:13:23,268 experienced psychotherapist. 2004 01:13:23,311 --> 01:13:24,443 I think you'll like him. 2005 01:13:24,487 --> 01:13:25,488 His fees are reasonable, 2006 01:13:25,531 --> 01:13:27,881 and he has quite large feet. 2007 01:13:29,709 --> 01:13:31,189 So I walked away. 2008 01:13:31,232 --> 01:13:32,451 I mean, there was nothing wrong 2009 01:13:32,495 --> 01:13:34,192 with this guy, but I could see 2010 01:13:34,235 --> 01:13:37,456 he wasn't ready to start a new relationship. 2011 01:13:37,500 --> 01:13:40,459 Why is it so hard to find the perfect man? 2012 01:13:40,503 --> 01:13:43,331 It's like I found the ideal Doctor Steven, 2013 01:13:43,375 --> 01:13:45,682 but he's a combination of six men. 2014 01:13:45,725 --> 01:13:48,336 [laughing] 2015 01:13:48,380 --> 01:13:49,468 - It sounds like you and the boys 2016 01:13:49,512 --> 01:13:51,644 have gained something from each 2017 01:13:51,688 --> 01:13:53,516 of the Doctor Stevens. 2018 01:13:54,691 --> 01:13:55,909 Now who in the hell says you 2019 01:13:55,953 --> 01:13:59,130 have to pick one and discard the rest? 2020 01:14:01,524 --> 01:14:02,350 - Oh. 2021 01:14:03,874 --> 01:14:05,310 I don't know. 2022 01:14:05,353 --> 01:14:07,181 The, well, the psychic never really 2023 01:14:07,225 --> 01:14:10,358 said it like that, but you know what? 2024 01:14:11,359 --> 01:14:12,839 You're right. 2025 01:14:12,883 --> 01:14:14,101 Oh, my God. 2026 01:14:14,145 --> 01:14:15,102 Oh, my God. 2027 01:14:15,146 --> 01:14:17,496 Dr. Bowman, you're a genius. 2028 01:14:17,540 --> 01:14:18,889 Thank you so much. 2029 01:14:18,932 --> 01:14:20,194 Can I take these for my friends? 2030 01:14:20,238 --> 01:14:22,980 - We have 45 minutes more. 2031 01:14:23,023 --> 01:14:23,807 - Oh. 2032 01:14:23,850 --> 01:14:24,764 - Sit down. 2033 01:14:29,377 --> 01:14:30,770 - Look who's here! 2034 01:14:31,858 --> 01:14:34,382 Look how good you look! 2035 01:14:34,426 --> 01:14:35,732 Whoa! 2036 01:14:35,775 --> 01:14:37,037 Careful. 2037 01:14:37,081 --> 01:14:38,299 Careful. 2038 01:14:38,343 --> 01:14:41,041 Look who's jumping up and down on the bed! 2039 01:14:41,085 --> 01:14:42,216 Is everybody here? 2040 01:14:42,260 --> 01:14:43,914 Are you ready for the party? 2041 01:14:43,957 --> 01:14:44,958 [laughing] 2042 01:14:45,002 --> 01:14:46,873 Is it party time? 2043 01:14:46,917 --> 01:14:48,353 Is it party time? 2044 01:14:49,615 --> 01:14:50,703 You know what? 2045 01:14:50,747 --> 01:14:52,444 My therapist was right. 2046 01:14:52,488 --> 01:14:54,011 All my Stevens have enriched 2047 01:14:54,054 --> 01:14:56,274 my life in one way or another. 2048 01:14:56,317 --> 01:14:58,494 Tonight, I've decided to celebrate my birthday 2049 01:14:58,537 --> 01:15:01,409 with an unconventional little party. 2050 01:15:01,453 --> 01:15:04,804 [light orchestral music] 2051 01:15:07,677 --> 01:15:09,592 Look how good you look! 2052 01:15:12,682 --> 01:15:14,379 You got your hat on. 2053 01:15:15,467 --> 01:15:17,817 - Hey, Noble, you wanna come 2054 01:15:17,861 --> 01:15:20,385 over here and enjoy the party? 2055 01:15:24,258 --> 01:15:26,913 - So, how's your son, the big-headed one? 2056 01:15:26,957 --> 01:15:27,740 You know, 2057 01:15:27,784 --> 01:15:28,785 [laughing] 2058 01:15:28,828 --> 01:15:30,221 the insecure one? 2059 01:15:31,048 --> 01:15:31,831 He has four kids. 2060 01:15:31,875 --> 01:15:32,963 - [Steven] Really? 2061 01:15:33,006 --> 01:15:34,312 - Justice, you know, 2062 01:15:34,355 --> 01:15:35,966 it's time for him to get a, 2063 01:15:36,009 --> 01:15:38,751 I want to get him a really good guitar. 2064 01:15:38,795 --> 01:15:40,187 - That would be great. 2065 01:15:40,231 --> 01:15:43,277 - [Steven] You know, like, a little microphone. 2066 01:15:43,321 --> 01:15:44,540 [laughing] 2067 01:15:44,583 --> 01:15:46,063 - You know, I watch you with those kids. 2068 01:15:46,106 --> 01:15:46,890 - Did you? 2069 01:15:46,933 --> 01:15:48,369 - Mm-hmm. 2070 01:15:48,413 --> 01:15:51,677 You look so much more attractive with your kids. 2071 01:15:51,721 --> 01:15:52,765 - I am. 2072 01:15:52,809 --> 01:15:53,723 Really? 2073 01:15:53,766 --> 01:15:54,462 - In the front seat of the car. 2074 01:15:54,506 --> 01:15:56,290 [laughing] 2075 01:15:56,334 --> 01:15:57,291 - Nothing exactly. 2076 01:15:57,335 --> 01:15:58,597 These are all friends of mine. 2077 01:15:58,641 --> 01:15:59,772 You may have noticed everybody 2078 01:15:59,816 --> 01:16:01,252 at the party is called Steven. 2079 01:16:01,295 --> 01:16:02,340 - Yeah. 2080 01:16:02,383 --> 01:16:04,124 - I have a thing for Stevens. 2081 01:16:04,168 --> 01:16:05,038 - Right. 2082 01:16:05,082 --> 01:16:06,997 - But mostly Doctor Stevens. 2083 01:16:07,040 --> 01:16:08,738 You're the first really physical 2084 01:16:08,781 --> 01:16:10,653 Steven that I ever had. 2085 01:16:14,613 --> 01:16:16,702 I kind of liked where I ended up. 2086 01:16:16,746 --> 01:16:19,052 The boys are happy and healthy. 2087 01:16:19,096 --> 01:16:20,967 My career is going well. 2088 01:16:21,011 --> 01:16:23,666 Dr. Bowman is vacationing in the Bahamas with all 2089 01:16:23,709 --> 01:16:25,842 the money I paid him for therapy. 2090 01:16:25,885 --> 01:16:28,540 And my parents are proud of me. 2091 01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:32,152 They finally stopped asking when I'm gonna meet Mr. Right. 2092 01:16:32,196 --> 01:16:33,980 But more importantly, 2093 01:16:34,024 --> 01:16:35,678 I've stopped asking. 2094 01:16:47,690 --> 01:16:50,693 [upbeat jazz music] 2095 01:19:08,004 --> 01:19:10,876 [light jazz music] 2096 01:19:13,574 --> 01:19:14,793 ♪ I wonder who's 2097 01:19:14,837 --> 01:19:19,015 ♪ Kissing you now 2098 01:19:19,058 --> 01:19:20,320 ♪ I wonder who's 2099 01:19:20,364 --> 01:19:24,542 ♪ Teaching you how 2100 01:19:24,585 --> 01:19:27,632 ♪ I wonder who's looking 2101 01:19:27,675 --> 01:19:31,157 ♪ Into your eyes 2102 01:19:31,201 --> 01:19:33,856 ♪ Breathing sighs 2103 01:19:33,899 --> 01:19:36,467 ♪ Telling lies 2104 01:19:36,510 --> 01:19:37,685 ♪ I wonder who's 2105 01:19:37,729 --> 01:19:41,559 ♪ Buying the wine 2106 01:19:41,602 --> 01:19:43,256 ♪ For lips 2107 01:19:43,300 --> 01:19:48,000 ♪ That I used to call mine 2108 01:19:48,044 --> 01:19:50,524 ♪ I wonder if you 2109 01:19:50,568 --> 01:19:53,571 ♪ Ever tell them the truth 2110 01:19:53,614 --> 01:19:55,007 ♪ I wonder who's 2111 01:19:55,051 --> 01:19:57,880 ♪ Kissing you now 2112 01:20:09,674 --> 01:20:12,590 [light jazz music] 126055