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1
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2
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3
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- Mm , mm , mm.
7
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Now aren't you ashamed of yourself?
8
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A man with your supposed
intelligence acting
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like an empty headed idiot.
10
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What did you do?
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I'll tell you what you did.
12
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You took advantage of your wife's absence
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and pulled a wild party.
14
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And that's not all.
15
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You lost all of your ready
money in a poker game.
16
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Could anything be more
crass, more disgusting?
17
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There are times when I
had high hopes for you,
18
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but that time is passed.
19
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I'll tell you what's wrong with you
20
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in two words, impossible.
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22
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23
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- Mr. Hardy?
24
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- Yes.
25
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- Here's a telegram for you.
26
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27
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- Now I wonder what this can be.
28
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- Oh it's a telegram from your wife,
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she says she'll be home at noon today.
30
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- Ooh , the house, on!
31
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32
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Aptos eight-o, eight-c, please.
33
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34
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35
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36
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37
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38
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39
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- Hello?
40
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- Where have you been?
41
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- I was here with me.
42
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- Why weren't you over
to the party last night?
43
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- I couldn't make it,
I was bitten by a dog.
44
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- You were what?
45
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- A dog bit me.
46
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- I can't understand you, spell it.
47
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- A dog bit me.
48
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B, I , it me, bit me.
49
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- Where?
50
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- There.
51
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And they took me to tee hospital.
52
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- Get closer to the phone,
I can't understand you.
53
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- I said they...
54
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I said they,
55
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they took me to the hospital.
56
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- Was it serious?
57
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- Yeah , the doctor said I
might get hydro-phosphates.
58
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- Hydro-phosphates, you mean hydrophobia.
59
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Say, what are you doing?
60
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- Eh?
61
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- What are you doing?
62
00:05:23,031 --> 00:05:25,523
- I'm talking to you , what
do you think I'm doing?
63
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- I know you're talking to me.
64
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Say, come on over, I wanna see you,
65
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and make it snappy.
66
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Q.T.
67
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Hydro-phosphates .
68
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69
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70
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- What do you want?
71
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- Listen, I'm in a slight predicament,
72
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my wife's coming home
today at noon unexpectedly
73
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and look at this house.
74
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75
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- What's the matter with it?
76
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- What's the matter with it!
77
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You never met my wife, did you?
78
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- Yes I never did.
79
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- What do you mean , yes I never did.
80
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That’s my wife.
81
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82
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- Isn't she sweet?
83
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- Charming.
84
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- Where is your wife?
85
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- She's in Chicago with her mother.
86
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- Is she havin' a nice time?
87
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- Sure she's having a nice time,
88
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she's been gone for more than a week.
89
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I don't care whether she's
having a nice time or not!
90
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What I mean is, if she comes
home and sees this house
91
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like this, she'll know that
I've been having a wild party.
92
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- I've never known it to fail.
93
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- What?
94
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- When the cats are away, the
mice are always playin' around
95
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and things, and doing something.
96
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If the cats are--
- I want you to help me
97
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clean this house!
98
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I'd do the same for you.
99
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- No you wouldn't.
100
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- Yes I would.
101
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- Oh no you wouldn't.
102
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- How do you know I wouldn't?
103
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- Cause I'm not going to get married.
104
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105
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- Will you help me or will you not?
106
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- Sure I'll help you.
107
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What do you want me to do first?
108
00:07:28,489 --> 00:07:30,526
- Now that's the spirit.
109
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Now you wash the dirty dishes
while I go in and get dressed.
110
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Then after that we'll
have a nice breakfast,
111
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put everything in order so that the wife
112
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will suspect nothing.
113
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- Will we have marmalade for breakfast?
114
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- Yes we'll have marmalade for breakfast.
115
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And we'll put our shoulder to the wheels,
116
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grab tee bull by the horns and put
117
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our best foot forward .
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119
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120
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121
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122
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123
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124
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Clean that mess up
while I get something to put it in.
125
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- Look out!
- OH!
126
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127
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128
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- Get me a towel.
129
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- Where do you keep 'em?
130
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- I don't know, lock in the cupboard!
131
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132
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Wait, I'll get it.
133
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134
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135
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136
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Oh!
137
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Oh!
138
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139
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140
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- Ollie?
141
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- What?
142
00:10:47,563 --> 00:10:49,099
- Where do you keep your handkerchiefs?
143
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- In the top drawer.
144
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145
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146
00:11:03,287 --> 00:11:05,949
147
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148
00:11:36,362 --> 00:11:38,694
149
00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:43,483
150
00:11:47,748 --> 00:11:49,580
What are you trying to do?
151
00:11:49,625 --> 00:11:51,866
- I'm trying to get rid of this water.
152
00:11:51,919 --> 00:11:53,284
What'll I do with it?
153
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154
00:11:54,171 --> 00:11:55,582
- Use your own judgment.
155
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156
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:10,886
157
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:15,807
Are you trying to ruin the
only suit I've got left?
158
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- I couldn't help it.
159
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- Oh shut up.
160
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That’s the way to do it.
161
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162
00:12:43,846 --> 00:12:46,679
163
00:12:46,724 --> 00:12:48,965
164
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- How about some breakfast?
165
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166
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,897
- Breakfast!
167
00:13:03,949 --> 00:13:06,862
168
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:15,291
- See what ya did?
169
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You can't blame me for that.
170
00:13:25,387 --> 00:13:27,128
- Do you realize that this is the only
171
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suit that I've get left?
172
00:13:29,975 --> 00:13:33,809
It's enough to make a
man burst cut crying.
173
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,015
- But I couldn't help it,
174
00:13:35,064 --> 00:13:36,475
I was trying to--
- Shut up and get
175
00:13:36,524 --> 00:13:38,265
this mess cleaned up!
176
00:13:38,317 --> 00:13:41,105
Do you know that my wife
will be home at noon?
177
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,986
- Say, what do you think I am , Cinderella?
178
00:13:44,031 --> 00:13:46,113
If I had any sense, I'd walk out on ya.
179
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:49,116
- Well it's a good thing
you haven't any sense.
180
00:13:49,161 --> 00:13:50,538
- It certainly is!
181
00:13:53,082 --> 00:13:55,494
182
00:13:59,213 --> 00:14:02,877
183
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:14,013
If I had any sense, I'd walk out on you.
184
00:14:14,061 --> 00:14:15,176
Good thing you haven't any.
185
00:14:15,229 --> 00:14:16,219
I certainly.
186
00:14:20,442 --> 00:14:22,854
187
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,448
If I had any sense I'd ...
188
00:14:38,586 --> 00:14:41,578
- Take these pants and wring
'em out, while I dry the coat.
189
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190
00:14:54,476 --> 00:14:57,605
191
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192
00:15:04,069 --> 00:15:07,562
193
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:14,159
194
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:34,805
I'll dry them myself.
195
00:15:36,644 --> 00:15:39,011
196
00:15:40,105 --> 00:15:40,890
197
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198
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199
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200
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201
00:16:03,170 --> 00:16:05,582
202
00:16:37,329 --> 00:16:40,572
203
00:16:47,589 --> 00:16:48,374
- Hello!
204
00:16:48,424 --> 00:16:49,289
- Don't you yell at me!
205
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,548
I'm not deaf!
206
00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,335
- Oh hello honey, baby.
207
00:16:54,388 --> 00:16:55,219
Where are you?
208
00:16:55,264 --> 00:16:56,049
- Where am I?
209
00:16:56,098 --> 00:16:58,089
Why I'm down here at the railroad station,
210
00:16:58,142 --> 00:16:59,257
and if I stay here much longer,
211
00:16:59,309 --> 00:17:00,925
they!ll put me in the roundhouse!
212
00:17:02,563 --> 00:17:04,224
- Ooh !
- What's a matter?
213
00:17:04,273 --> 00:17:05,855
- Get my suit, quick it's the wife,
214
00:17:05,899 --> 00:17:08,061
she's waiting at the depot!
215
00:17:08,110 --> 00:17:08,941
Oh!
216
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:13,772
217
00:17:19,121 --> 00:17:21,328
218
00:17:21,373 --> 00:17:22,989
That’s the only suit I've got!
219
00:17:23,042 --> 00:17:24,328
- What'll you do now?
220
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:25,366
- I have it!
221
00:17:27,421 --> 00:17:28,252
Get this place cleaned up
222
00:17:28,297 --> 00:17:30,038
and dont ask questions!
223
00:17:30,090 --> 00:17:32,127
Hurry, as quick as you can!
224
00:17:32,176 --> 00:17:34,588
225
00:17:49,818 --> 00:17:50,728
What's the matter?
226
00:17:51,904 --> 00:17:54,111
- You're not going like that, are ya?
227
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:55,612
- Certainly, why?
228
00:17:55,657 --> 00:17:57,568
- Well you haven't get a horse.
229
00:17:57,618 --> 00:17:58,653
- I don't need a horse,
230
00:17:58,702 --> 00:18:00,989
I've been out there--
231
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,620
Oh don't answer it, it's the wife!
232
00:18:02,664 --> 00:18:04,371
Get yourself cleaned up
and get outta here quick!
233
00:18:04,416 --> 00:18:05,872
I'll see ya tonight!
234
00:18:07,961 --> 00:18:10,373
235
00:18:25,479 --> 00:18:28,221
236
00:18:42,871 --> 00:18:45,283
237
00:18:49,837 --> 00:18:53,421
238
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:22,612
239
00:19:44,766 --> 00:19:47,383
240
00:19:57,321 --> 00:19:58,482
What happened?
241
00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,646
Well I was all ready to leave
242
00:20:00,699 --> 00:20:02,906
and I thought I'd build a nice fire
243
00:20:02,951 --> 00:20:05,113
to make it comfortable for you.
244
00:20:05,162 --> 00:20:07,449
The house burnt down,
and I couldn't help it!
245
00:20:16,256 --> 00:20:18,714
Well I guess there's
nothing else I can do.
246
00:20:19,760 --> 00:20:20,966
- No I guess not.
247
00:20:21,970 --> 00:20:23,222
- Well I'll be seein' you.
248
00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:25,471
- Goodbye.
249
00:20:29,311 --> 00:20:30,142
Hey.
250
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:35,856
Would you mind closing the door?
251
00:20:35,901 --> 00:20:37,141
I'd like to be alone.
252
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:42,188
253
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:45,984
254
00:20:55,254 --> 00:20:57,666
15002
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