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WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
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Extraordinary.
2
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You will want to get this on camera. Ha!
3
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Quickly. Gizmo!
4
00:00:16,328 --> 00:00:19,034
Gizmo? Gizmo, get up.
5
00:00:19,484 --> 00:00:21,627
- Yeah? Yeah?
- Where's Nandor?
6
00:00:21,638 --> 00:00:23,503
Um, I think he's, uh, indisposed
7
00:00:23,514 --> 00:00:25,552
at the moment, um, in his bedroom.
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Ha, shaking hands with Rosie
Palmer and her five milkmaids.
9
00:00:29,225 --> 00:00:30,829
- What?
- What? Follow me.
10
00:00:30,884 --> 00:00:32,616
Laszlo's still the only one who knows
11
00:00:32,627 --> 00:00:35,407
I'm half-vampire and he's
been doing experiments to help.
12
00:00:35,418 --> 00:00:38,524
Happy to report that
there's been some progress.
13
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My telekinesis has gotten better.
14
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Pretty cool, huh?
15
00:00:47,088 --> 00:00:50,403
I have discovered something
wonderful with the frogs
16
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- that I injected with your blood.
- Wait,
17
00:00:52,471 --> 00:00:54,475
you-you did what with my blood?
18
00:00:56,553 --> 00:00:58,567
Why are they so hairy?
19
00:00:58,578 --> 00:01:00,314
Well, why are you so hairy? Who cares?
20
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- Now, bon voyage.
- What? No!
21
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Those poor frogs!
22
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Shit.
23
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- Come on, little guy, come on, you can do it.
- Shh!
24
00:01:17,274 --> 00:01:18,881
- Your turn.
- To do what?
25
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I want you to leap off that balcony.
26
00:01:21,729 --> 00:01:23,593
What? No, I'll break my legs.
27
00:01:23,604 --> 00:01:25,359
- Bullshit. You saw those frogs.
- Yeah.
28
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They were transformed
by your blood, they flew.
29
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Ipso facto, shithead...
30
00:01:32,517 --> 00:01:33,686
so can you.
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- But what if I can't?
- Yeah, but what if you can?
32
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What if you can?
33
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- That would be pretty cool.
- It would be
34
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very cool. Now, I calculate
35
00:01:43,273 --> 00:01:45,149
we have exactly two minutes before
36
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,484
Nandor finishes making pearl jam.
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- Right.
- So I'll see you at the bottom.
38
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As the actress said to the bishop.
39
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Come on, Guillermo.
40
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I believe in you and
I love you, Guillermo.
41
00:01:55,909 --> 00:01:57,558
Come on, Gizmo, let her rip.
42
00:01:57,569 --> 00:01:59,439
Launch yourself forward,
see what happens.
43
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:01,591
- We should practice closer to the floor first.
- No.
44
00:02:01,602 --> 00:02:04,343
No, no, no. You will
never fly unless you need to.
45
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Panic is the secret ingredient.
Now, come on.
46
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Aah...
47
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I'm doing it!
48
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- Guillermo?
- Yes, Master...
49
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That's how we all learned.
50
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- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
51
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Oh, shit.
52
00:03:00,178 --> 00:03:03,206
What is this screaming? Is
someone squeezing a snake?
53
00:03:03,217 --> 00:03:06,328
- Oh. Fucking hell.
- What happened?
54
00:03:06,339 --> 00:03:08,971
Well, I don't know. I was in
the library. Don't look at me.
55
00:03:08,982 --> 00:03:12,188
Does it hurt?
Because it looks like it really hurts.
56
00:03:12,199 --> 00:03:13,552
- Hey, boners.
- What?
57
00:03:13,563 --> 00:03:15,332
Nice shiner, Colin Robinson.
58
00:03:15,343 --> 00:03:18,182
Hey, look at this dude.
59
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Someone's had an interesting evening.
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00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,570
- Please help me.
- Wow.
61
00:03:21,603 --> 00:03:23,340
What happened to dingus' foot?
62
00:03:23,351 --> 00:03:24,582
Who gives a fuck? Tell us
63
00:03:24,592 --> 00:03:26,080
what happened to your blackened eye.
64
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Yes, was it fisticuffs?
65
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Did you get kicked by a donkey?
66
00:03:29,363 --> 00:03:31,665
Stop guessing and stop grabbing me.
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This is the problem.
68
00:03:32,781 --> 00:03:34,685
Take it easy, summer breezy.
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Every time I go to drain someone,
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00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:39,227
they see my black eye and
want to know what happened.
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All of a sudden, I'm too...
G-damn interesting to drain anyone.
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00:03:43,269 --> 00:03:44,899
- What the fuck?
- Really?
73
00:03:44,910 --> 00:03:46,770
You think you are too interesting?
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00:03:46,781 --> 00:03:48,309
I know I am. I mean,
75
00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:51,424
this exact same thing happened
when I came back from Vietnam.
76
00:03:51,435 --> 00:03:52,495
Whoa.
77
00:03:52,506 --> 00:03:55,047
- You were in 'Nam?
- Well, thank you for your service.
78
00:03:55,058 --> 00:03:57,644
Colin Robinson, I had no
idea you were in the Army.
79
00:03:57,655 --> 00:03:59,602
Oh, I-I wasn't in the Army.
80
00:03:59,613 --> 00:04:02,719
About six years ago,
I took a cycling trip with Backroads.
81
00:04:02,752 --> 00:04:04,709
On the third day, we found
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00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,704
a dead body. In a tree.
83
00:04:06,715 --> 00:04:10,067
- No kidding?
- With an ox's asshole
84
00:04:10,246 --> 00:04:12,661
around its neck like a necklace.
85
00:04:12,672 --> 00:04:14,369
- What?
- How did that happen?
86
00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:17,085
Some poor farmer and
his ox must've stepped
87
00:04:17,096 --> 00:04:19,107
on a decommissioned land mine and...
88
00:04:19,118 --> 00:04:21,590
blew him up into the tree and the ox's
89
00:04:21,601 --> 00:04:23,371
asshole must've landed on his head.
90
00:04:23,426 --> 00:04:24,836
- Good grief.
- Fascinating.
91
00:04:24,847 --> 00:04:26,689
I wasn't expecting that ending.
92
00:04:26,700 --> 00:04:28,572
See? It's the black eye... makes
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00:04:28,583 --> 00:04:30,397
- my stories too interesting.
- Do you think
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00:04:30,408 --> 00:04:33,001
that your black eye also
has a very interesting story?
95
00:04:33,012 --> 00:04:36,722
Unfortunately, yes,
it's fucking remarkable.
96
00:04:36,733 --> 00:04:37,945
But this is Colin Robinson.
97
00:04:37,956 --> 00:04:40,489
I mean, he can't have any more
fascinating stories in him.
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00:04:40,500 --> 00:04:43,740
Gee, you tell me. A
five-pound frozen block
99
00:04:43,751 --> 00:04:46,691
of shit and piss fall
off a plane, landing
100
00:04:46,702 --> 00:04:49,433
- on a 308 Ferrari...
- No way.
101
00:04:49,444 --> 00:04:52,128
... and blowing the sideview
mirror right into my kisser.
102
00:04:52,139 --> 00:04:55,080
Well, fuck my old boots. Son of a bitch!
103
00:04:55,091 --> 00:04:58,553
- Frozen blocks of pisses and shits?
- Yes.
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What will they think of next?
105
00:05:00,197 --> 00:05:02,093
Guillermo, oi...
106
00:05:02,667 --> 00:05:04,273
No, fuck this, I want to stay here
107
00:05:04,284 --> 00:05:06,134
and listen to his wonderful stories.
108
00:05:06,145 --> 00:05:08,441
- Yes, me too.
- Guillermo is your familiar.
109
00:05:08,452 --> 00:05:12,413
I just went to get him new
trousers a year ago. It is your turn.
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Fine. Fuck it. Whatever.
111
00:05:14,161 --> 00:05:16,466
Okay, Guillermo, stop lying around.
112
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Let's get that of yours looked at.
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Come on, boys, to the lab.
114
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- Tell me more about this ox's anus.
- It really hurts.
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Okay already, I said we're going.
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Oh! Laszlo, my love,
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did you just see a hairy frog?
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The only hairy frog I'm interested in,
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my darling, is the
one between your legs.
120
00:05:32,725 --> 00:05:34,045
It's not just a frog.
121
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- It's the whole swamp.
- True.
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Come on.
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Off you go, my love.
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00:05:43,220 --> 00:05:45,802
Where are you? Come on, boy.
125
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Come on, boy. Where the fuck
are you, you fucking frog?
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Are either of you
allergic to penicillin?
127
00:05:52,028 --> 00:05:53,763
- No.
- What is that?
128
00:05:53,774 --> 00:05:55,151
Just ragweed
129
00:05:55,162 --> 00:05:56,944
- and chewing gum.
- Chewing gum?
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How unusual.
131
00:05:58,135 --> 00:05:59,742
- That is unusual.
- Guys, guys.
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You're literally killing me.
133
00:06:01,225 --> 00:06:03,716
Right, let's crack on.
When I flick this switch,
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00:06:03,727 --> 00:06:06,333
the lights will flash, there'll be a
horrible noise and a terrible odor
135
00:06:06,344 --> 00:06:08,579
as I transfer the
life energy from Nandor
136
00:06:08,590 --> 00:06:09,873
into Colin Robinson.
137
00:06:09,906 --> 00:06:12,026
Sorry, Laszlo, I do have one question.
138
00:06:12,037 --> 00:06:14,037
- Which is?
- Will it hurt?
139
00:06:14,048 --> 00:06:15,610
Pain like you've never known.
140
00:06:15,621 --> 00:06:17,844
And furthermore, if you're
overdrained, you could die.
141
00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:19,294
Fuck this, I'm out.
142
00:06:19,305 --> 00:06:20,595
- What?
- W-Wait a minute.
143
00:06:20,606 --> 00:06:23,054
- I'm starving.
- And you will be fed, Colin Robinson.
144
00:06:23,065 --> 00:06:25,103
But I think we should
revert to our original plan.
145
00:06:25,114 --> 00:06:28,153
- The original plan? Are you mad?
- I think it's a pretty good plan.
146
00:06:28,164 --> 00:06:30,098
We cover your black eye with makeup
147
00:06:30,109 --> 00:06:31,383
and make you boring again.
148
00:06:31,394 --> 00:06:33,643
It does seem a lot simpler.
149
00:06:33,654 --> 00:06:35,658
- Let's do that.
- All right.
150
00:06:35,691 --> 00:06:37,529
- Cowards.
- Makes sense.
151
00:06:37,540 --> 00:06:40,027
Turn your back on
science at your own peril.
152
00:06:40,038 --> 00:06:42,219
- We'll take our chances. Thank you, Laszlo.
- Yeah.
153
00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:43,930
Seriously, Nadja,
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00:06:43,941 --> 00:06:45,912
I don't need urgent care.
I can just sleep it off.
155
00:06:45,945 --> 00:06:47,622
Do you really think
I want to doing this?
156
00:06:47,633 --> 00:06:49,875
If it was up to me, I would
have just packed your ankle
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00:06:49,886 --> 00:06:51,690
in some mud made from fish piss
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00:06:51,723 --> 00:06:53,507
and fed you some pickled pig's ears.
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00:06:53,518 --> 00:06:56,640
But, no, my husband
thinks a doctor is better.
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00:06:56,651 --> 00:06:58,737
"Trust the science, my darling."
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00:06:58,748 --> 00:07:00,095
I don't know what's going on
162
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with my body right now,
but if a doctor finds out
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00:07:02,044 --> 00:07:04,081
that I'm almost a
vampire, I'm a dead man.
164
00:07:04,114 --> 00:07:06,252
And if Nadja finds out,
it'll be worse, so...
165
00:07:06,285 --> 00:07:08,927
Stop squirming, Guillermo,
we're very close now.
166
00:07:08,938 --> 00:07:10,360
No, you know what? I feel a lot better.
167
00:07:10,371 --> 00:07:12,954
The vampire doctor is going
to fix your mangled foot.
168
00:07:12,965 --> 00:07:14,870
What? You said we were
going to urgent care.
169
00:07:14,903 --> 00:07:19,280
- Yes, Familiar Urgent Care, silly.
- No. No, Nadja, no!
170
00:07:23,060 --> 00:07:27,551
Oh, just look at all
these people to feed from.
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00:07:27,562 --> 00:07:30,033
I don't know, I kind of
feel like I want go home
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00:07:30,044 --> 00:07:32,824
- and take the train to sleepy town.
- No!
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It would be a sleep of death.
174
00:07:34,951 --> 00:07:37,447
Just take a look at
all these losers, hmm?
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00:07:37,458 --> 00:07:39,107
Outdoor diners.
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00:07:39,118 --> 00:07:41,189
- They do deserve it.
- Yes.
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00:07:41,244 --> 00:07:43,814
- Great start.
- Uh, excuse me.
178
00:07:43,825 --> 00:07:44,830
Hello.
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00:07:44,863 --> 00:07:47,467
I notice you have a d... Oh. Ooh.
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00:07:47,478 --> 00:07:49,282
- You got this.
- Doggie bag.
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00:07:49,293 --> 00:07:52,133
Interesting story about how the...
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00:07:52,144 --> 00:07:55,287
origin of the doggie bag started.
183
00:07:55,298 --> 00:07:57,978
It was actually a... Ow!
184
00:07:57,989 --> 00:07:59,960
- Oh, shit!
- Son of a bitch!
185
00:07:59,993 --> 00:08:02,231
World War II, they would
186
00:08:02,242 --> 00:08:04,213
- take food home for their dog...
- Did you see that?
187
00:08:04,268 --> 00:08:06,607
... instead of wasting it.
188
00:08:06,974 --> 00:08:09,551
Don't look at me!
This isn't interesting.
189
00:08:09,562 --> 00:08:10,711
What have you done?
190
00:08:10,722 --> 00:08:13,308
Someone ran over my
foot, shithead. It hurt.
191
00:08:13,319 --> 00:08:16,596
- Tell them to go away.
- Nothing interesting here. Keep moving, please.
192
00:08:16,607 --> 00:08:17,835
Stop filming me!
193
00:08:17,846 --> 00:08:19,929
- Are you okay?
- No, I'm not okay.
194
00:08:19,940 --> 00:08:21,805
Shoo! He needs privacy.
195
00:08:21,816 --> 00:08:23,954
- It is fine.
- Nandor, take me home.
196
00:08:23,965 --> 00:08:25,269
I'm taking you home.
We're gonna go home.
197
00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:27,133
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?
198
00:08:27,144 --> 00:08:29,608
- No!
- What the fuck? That's the dude from Mad Men.
199
00:08:29,619 --> 00:08:32,246
- Oh, for fuck's sake.
- Oh, where's your martini, bud?
200
00:08:32,257 --> 00:08:33,793
- Hi.
- You got to be kidding me.
201
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:36,104
Damn, you just got hit by John Slattery.
202
00:08:36,115 --> 00:08:37,256
- That is crazy.
- What the heck happened?
203
00:08:37,267 --> 00:08:38,683
You stepped off the curb
without even looking.
204
00:08:38,694 --> 00:08:40,531
What happened is you ran over my foot!
205
00:08:40,542 --> 00:08:42,337
We really need to go.
My friend is not well.
206
00:08:42,348 --> 00:08:43,918
Let me drive you to
the hospital. I-I just
207
00:08:43,929 --> 00:08:46,165
played a-a doctor on a
season of The Good Fight.
208
00:08:46,176 --> 00:08:48,153
- They love me over there.
- That was a really good episode.
209
00:08:48,164 --> 00:08:50,048
It doesn't even really hurt that much
210
00:08:50,059 --> 00:08:51,450
- anymore.
- Well, I'll-I'll drive you home, please?
211
00:08:51,461 --> 00:08:53,329
- It's the least I can do.
- You know what?
212
00:08:53,340 --> 00:08:55,125
We will accept your generous offer.
213
00:08:55,136 --> 00:08:56,707
- Yes, yes.
- What the fuck are you doing?
214
00:08:56,740 --> 00:08:59,586
- Hey, John, over here.
- We will be in that car alone
215
00:08:59,597 --> 00:09:01,991
with this gentleman
that owes you a debt.
216
00:09:02,002 --> 00:09:05,064
Which you will collect by feeding.
217
00:09:05,075 --> 00:09:06,534
- Hmm?
- Yeah.
218
00:09:06,545 --> 00:09:09,735
John Slattery coming to the
aid of the guy he just ran over.
219
00:09:09,746 --> 00:09:11,260
- Shotgun left.
- Fuck!
220
00:09:11,271 --> 00:09:13,407
- John Slattery, please.
- You're a hero, John.
221
00:09:13,418 --> 00:09:15,332
- One of the greats.
- He's not one of the greats.
222
00:09:15,343 --> 00:09:17,214
- He's a reckless driver.
- You're a reckless
223
00:09:17,247 --> 00:09:18,801
- walker.
- Peasants, disperse!
224
00:09:18,812 --> 00:09:19,948
- Begone!
- He call us peasants?
225
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,394
Oh, rude.
226
00:09:22,030 --> 00:09:24,740
Animal hospital?
Why are we-why are we going here?
227
00:09:24,751 --> 00:09:26,384
Ow!
228
00:09:26,395 --> 00:09:29,060
- This is for pets. I'm not a dog.
- Shh! Potato, "potahto."
229
00:09:29,071 --> 00:09:31,920
Um, yes, hello,
um, I've got a broken familiar.
230
00:09:31,931 --> 00:09:34,784
- So, you're gonna want to go around that corner...
- Yeah, I've been here before.
231
00:09:34,795 --> 00:09:36,920
There is nothing to see here.
232
00:09:36,953 --> 00:09:40,794
It is just a Doberman
with a floppy tail.
233
00:09:41,510 --> 00:09:43,013
- Hold on tight.
- Wait, where are we going?
234
00:09:43,024 --> 00:09:44,357
- Uh, through the wall.
- No, no stop!
235
00:09:44,368 --> 00:09:45,772
- That's a solid wall.
- No, it's not.
236
00:09:45,783 --> 00:09:49,722
No. No! No! Okay.
237
00:09:49,733 --> 00:09:51,937
- That was kind of cool.
- It's just a common cold, so there's gonna be sneezing
238
00:09:51,983 --> 00:09:54,884
and coughing and that is
gonna be a burden on you,
239
00:09:54,895 --> 00:09:58,266
so I have a recommendation.
And that is put her down.
240
00:09:58,277 --> 00:10:01,918
- Oh, gosh, you really think so?
- Even if she recovers
241
00:10:01,929 --> 00:10:04,074
from this cold, she's...
242
00:10:04,085 --> 00:10:05,905
good God, she's, like, almost 40.
243
00:10:05,916 --> 00:10:07,804
She might squeeze out
a few more good years,
244
00:10:07,815 --> 00:10:09,686
but we're talking quality of life.
245
00:10:09,697 --> 00:10:11,233
Okay, let's do it.
246
00:10:11,244 --> 00:10:12,879
No, fuck this. I'm out of here.
247
00:10:12,890 --> 00:10:14,911
Oh, calm, down, it'll be okay.
248
00:10:14,922 --> 00:10:16,258
No!
249
00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:19,112
Got a live one. Thanks, guys.
250
00:10:19,123 --> 00:10:21,008
- Sedate him, Jack.
- No.
251
00:10:21,019 --> 00:10:22,723
- Fantastic.
- That's it.
252
00:10:22,778 --> 00:10:24,114
Aw.
253
00:10:24,302 --> 00:10:25,709
Sweet dreams, Guillermo.
254
00:10:25,720 --> 00:10:27,536
Yeah, perfect.
255
00:10:28,330 --> 00:10:30,093
You, uh, you okay back there?
256
00:10:30,126 --> 00:10:31,763
You look like shit.
257
00:10:31,774 --> 00:10:34,718
Well, yeah, I mean,
you ran over my foot.
258
00:10:34,729 --> 00:10:37,016
Sorry about all the cell
phone pictures and stuff.
259
00:10:37,027 --> 00:10:38,436
You know, you would
that people in New York
260
00:10:38,447 --> 00:10:40,397
would have seen a famous actor before.
261
00:10:40,408 --> 00:10:42,866
It is quite all right, John Slattery.
262
00:10:42,877 --> 00:10:44,607
You have our gratitude.
263
00:10:44,618 --> 00:10:46,589
Drain him.
264
00:10:46,665 --> 00:10:49,628
Do you find it, uh, difficult?
265
00:10:50,228 --> 00:10:53,106
- What?
- Do you find it difficult
266
00:10:53,139 --> 00:10:55,110
being an older actor?
267
00:10:55,121 --> 00:10:57,125
Having to memorize lines?
268
00:10:57,136 --> 00:10:59,074
Especially when you've been drinking.
269
00:10:59,085 --> 00:11:01,725
Slattery... that's an Irish name, right?
270
00:11:01,736 --> 00:11:03,253
Wait, s-say that last part again.
271
00:11:03,264 --> 00:11:05,787
What, "Slattery's an Irish name"?
272
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:09,303
I mean, I personally
don't mind the Irish.
273
00:11:09,314 --> 00:11:12,510
But I just don't like it when
they try to sound intelligent.
274
00:11:12,521 --> 00:11:14,470
Huh, wow.
275
00:11:15,002 --> 00:11:18,104
- I could listen to you talk for hours.
- Exsqueeze me?
276
00:11:18,115 --> 00:11:20,230
I mean, not to what you're
saying, but to that accent.
277
00:11:20,241 --> 00:11:22,607
It's just so specific.
Where are you from?
278
00:11:22,618 --> 00:11:24,787
- Well...
- Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Upper Midwest.
279
00:11:24,798 --> 00:11:27,040
For sure. Uh, Wisconsin?
280
00:11:27,073 --> 00:11:29,044
But not eastern Wisconsin,
that would have more of
281
00:11:29,077 --> 00:11:31,148
a Germanic influence to it, am I right?
282
00:11:31,181 --> 00:11:33,821
Are you, like, prepping
for a role or something?
283
00:11:33,854 --> 00:11:36,292
No, this isn't for a
role. I just love accents.
284
00:11:36,325 --> 00:11:38,229
People are just walking
stories, you know?
285
00:11:38,262 --> 00:11:41,102
In all their fascination
and specificity.
286
00:11:41,113 --> 00:11:42,326
You ever see the movie Spotlight?
287
00:11:42,337 --> 00:11:45,076
About the Boston Globe reporters
288
00:11:45,087 --> 00:11:48,895
who uncovered the sexual abuse
coverup in the Catholic church?
289
00:11:48,906 --> 00:11:50,434
- Yeah, exactly.
- No.
290
00:11:50,445 --> 00:11:52,920
Oh. Well, in that I
played Ben Bradlee, Jr.
291
00:11:52,931 --> 00:11:55,218
And that character
begins with the accent,
292
00:11:55,229 --> 00:11:57,590
because the real Bradlee is from Boston.
293
00:11:57,601 --> 00:11:59,347
But he's an upper-crust guy.
294
00:11:59,358 --> 00:12:03,038
Not like some
jamoke standing around Kelly's Tavern
295
00:12:03,049 --> 00:12:05,111
in, uh, Revere Beach,
you know what I mean?
296
00:12:05,122 --> 00:12:07,465
- Very good, John Slattery.
- Not bad, right?
297
00:12:07,476 --> 00:12:08,743
- But I was talking to him.
- Oh.
298
00:12:08,754 --> 00:12:11,251
You know, it's funny, I had
this babysitter when I was a kid.
299
00:12:11,262 --> 00:12:13,043
She was Irish. Her name was Vivian.
300
00:12:13,054 --> 00:12:15,359
But again, sorry for your loss.
301
00:12:15,370 --> 00:12:17,893
She was just a familiar, but thank you.
302
00:12:17,904 --> 00:12:19,813
It is kind of nice to think of Cathy
303
00:12:19,846 --> 00:12:21,482
on that rainbow bridge,
304
00:12:21,516 --> 00:12:23,319
doing stuff with her familiar friends.
305
00:12:23,330 --> 00:12:26,036
Having spaghetti or whatever
it is they dream of doing.
306
00:12:26,159 --> 00:12:28,306
Well, they're in a better place now.
307
00:12:28,317 --> 00:12:30,303
- Yes.
- I wish I was.
308
00:12:30,314 --> 00:12:32,894
- I'm looking for a Nadja.
- Oh, yes.
309
00:12:32,905 --> 00:12:34,626
- Please, can we go?
- Well,
310
00:12:34,637 --> 00:12:36,962
Guillermo's ankle is healing up nicely,
311
00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:39,078
which is very unusual, so...
312
00:12:39,089 --> 00:12:42,095
just to be safe...
I say we put him down.
313
00:12:42,209 --> 00:12:43,479
He could break that ankle again,
314
00:12:43,490 --> 00:12:45,441
he could break the other ankle or
315
00:12:45,452 --> 00:12:47,473
- he could just bitch a lot.
- Hmm.
316
00:12:47,484 --> 00:12:49,160
Think we're just gonna take him home.
317
00:12:49,171 --> 00:12:50,997
All right. Well, that is your choice.
318
00:12:51,008 --> 00:12:52,689
- Yes.
- Oh, there's one more thing.
319
00:12:52,700 --> 00:12:55,206
The results of that blood work
came back and they're very odd,
320
00:12:55,217 --> 00:12:57,824
so I'm just gonna have it
retested, will not take long.
321
00:12:57,835 --> 00:13:00,708
I promise I'm gonna get you
out of here well before sunrise.
322
00:13:02,688 --> 00:13:05,548
Now I'm thinking,
"They're going to test him again?"
323
00:13:05,559 --> 00:13:08,577
What if they find that Van
Helsing muck in his blood?
324
00:13:08,610 --> 00:13:10,820
I'm going to have to
get him out of here.
325
00:13:11,281 --> 00:13:13,019
Why are we heading towards
326
00:13:13,052 --> 00:13:14,556
the Verrazzano Bridge?
327
00:13:14,589 --> 00:13:17,042
Uh, are you-are you
taking us to Brooklyn?
328
00:13:17,053 --> 00:13:18,862
Are you
taking us to Brooklyn? Are you...
329
00:13:18,873 --> 00:13:20,224
That... It's
really... That's a tough one.
330
00:13:20,234 --> 00:13:22,304
It's got kind of a twang
to it. Say something else.
331
00:13:22,337 --> 00:13:23,960
I don't want to go to Brooklyn.
332
00:13:23,971 --> 00:13:25,675
I don't want to go to Brooklyn?
333
00:13:25,686 --> 00:13:27,089
There's a little bit of an uptalk there.
334
00:13:27,100 --> 00:13:28,710
I don't want to go to Brooklyn?
335
00:13:28,721 --> 00:13:30,275
- Can you let us out right h...
- Can you
336
00:13:30,286 --> 00:13:31,730
let us out right here, please?
337
00:13:31,741 --> 00:13:33,047
You also have these interesting
338
00:13:33,058 --> 00:13:34,380
pauses in your speech, but
339
00:13:34,391 --> 00:13:37,222
I can't tell if they're
regional or uniquely you or...
340
00:13:37,233 --> 00:13:38,904
It's just the most interesting accent
341
00:13:38,937 --> 00:13:40,140
- I've ever heard.
- Okay, fuck this.
342
00:13:40,151 --> 00:13:42,768
I mean, where are you from?
I'm sorry, guys. That's kind of
343
00:13:42,779 --> 00:13:44,348
mean, right? I'm not
trying to make fun of you,
344
00:13:44,359 --> 00:13:45,640
I'm just trying to get
it in my head, you know,
345
00:13:45,651 --> 00:13:47,187
it's all about muscle memory.
346
00:13:47,198 --> 00:13:48,602
Guillermo?
347
00:13:49,110 --> 00:13:50,195
Guillermo!
348
00:13:50,882 --> 00:13:53,199
Guillermo, why the hell
are you wearing a dress?
349
00:13:53,210 --> 00:13:55,700
Hey, Nandor, you made it. Hey, girl.
350
00:13:55,711 --> 00:13:57,113
Get your shit together, we got to go.
351
00:13:57,124 --> 00:13:59,300
No, I want to lie down.
You know they gave me
352
00:13:59,311 --> 00:14:01,950
some relax and it's making
me feel very medicine.
353
00:14:01,983 --> 00:14:03,868
They are testing your blood
354
00:14:03,879 --> 00:14:05,899
and they're going to find
your Van Helsing germs
355
00:14:05,910 --> 00:14:07,645
and whatever else you've got
going on in there and then
356
00:14:07,656 --> 00:14:10,693
- they're going to kill you, so let's go!
- That sounds serious.
357
00:14:10,704 --> 00:14:12,179
Can I say something?
358
00:14:12,190 --> 00:14:13,317
- Nadja?
- What?
359
00:14:13,328 --> 00:14:16,168
I think you're wonderful
and I love... Ow!
360
00:14:16,179 --> 00:14:20,208
You're a crazy bitch. But I love you.
361
00:14:20,219 --> 00:14:22,361
You know who else I love is Laszlo.
362
00:14:22,372 --> 00:14:23,682
But he's a horny little bitch.
363
00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:25,727
I also love Colin Robinson.
364
00:14:25,738 --> 00:14:27,590
He's, like, a little boring bitch.
365
00:14:27,601 --> 00:14:29,404
Like, he's like an LBB.
366
00:14:29,415 --> 00:14:32,254
But, you know, the one I love
the most is actually Nandor.
367
00:14:32,265 --> 00:14:34,766
Because he's, like, the queen bitch.
368
00:14:34,777 --> 00:14:36,097
Is that crazy?
369
00:14:36,108 --> 00:14:37,950
Hey. Who's that bitch?
370
00:14:37,961 --> 00:14:40,493
Wow, you are such a miracle worker.
371
00:14:40,504 --> 00:14:42,575
He is back to a red, shiny,
372
00:14:42,586 --> 00:14:44,591
fresh apple, so, think we're gonna get
373
00:14:44,602 --> 00:14:46,282
- the ol' dog home now.
- Yeah.
374
00:14:46,293 --> 00:14:47,530
I don't think that's gonna happen.
375
00:14:47,541 --> 00:14:48,771
I have a question for you.
376
00:14:48,782 --> 00:14:50,402
Who turned him?
377
00:14:51,042 --> 00:14:53,761
- Who what?
- According to his blood,
378
00:14:53,772 --> 00:14:55,811
this familiar has been
turned into a vampire.
379
00:14:55,822 --> 00:14:58,396
Yes, it's early stages,
but he is well on his way.
380
00:14:58,429 --> 00:15:00,387
No, I'm sorry, there's
been a huge mistake.
381
00:15:00,398 --> 00:15:02,969
Are you regretting turning
him? Because if you are,
382
00:15:02,980 --> 00:15:05,630
you should have thought
of that before you did it.
383
00:15:05,641 --> 00:15:07,035
- Guillermo?
- Yeah.
384
00:15:07,046 --> 00:15:08,382
- A vampire?
- Yes.
385
00:15:08,415 --> 00:15:09,485
That thing?
386
00:15:09,519 --> 00:15:11,388
That loser is a vampire?
387
00:15:11,421 --> 00:15:14,394
Absolutely not.
Have you seen how lame he is?
388
00:15:14,427 --> 00:15:15,850
Science does not lie.
389
00:15:15,861 --> 00:15:19,180
Now, it must be recent
because he's still transforming.
390
00:15:19,191 --> 00:15:21,242
No one in our house
would do such a thing.
391
00:15:21,275 --> 00:15:23,874
Well, then we have a
very big problem, 'cause
392
00:15:24,060 --> 00:15:25,549
I'm gonna put him down.
393
00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,744
Well, you can't do that because...
394
00:15:27,914 --> 00:15:29,107
He is our familiar!
395
00:15:29,118 --> 00:15:31,790
- You need to let him go.
- Get your hands off of me!
396
00:15:35,013 --> 00:15:37,107
Guillermo? Guillermo?
397
00:15:38,461 --> 00:15:39,953
Guillermo!
398
00:15:39,964 --> 00:15:42,587
Guillermo! Guillermo!
399
00:15:46,380 --> 00:15:49,846
Guillermo! Guillermo, snap out of it.
400
00:15:49,857 --> 00:15:52,792
They think you are a bastard
vampire and they're going to kill you.
401
00:15:52,803 --> 00:15:54,585
- Guillermo?
- Come on, girl.
402
00:15:54,596 --> 00:15:55,744
Get out!
403
00:15:56,139 --> 00:15:57,447
Guillermo.
404
00:15:57,480 --> 00:15:59,719
Guillermo? Hello?
405
00:16:00,023 --> 00:16:02,357
Sorry. Guillermo?
406
00:16:03,096 --> 00:16:04,596
Guillermo?
407
00:16:04,793 --> 00:16:06,555
Nadja, hi.
408
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:08,236
What? You work here?
409
00:16:08,269 --> 00:16:10,315
Volunteer, actually.
410
00:16:10,326 --> 00:16:12,177
It's a way of giving back.
411
00:16:12,210 --> 00:16:14,897
I mean, who rescued who, right?
412
00:16:14,908 --> 00:16:17,053
- Have you seen Guillermo?
- Guillermo?
413
00:16:17,064 --> 00:16:18,702
Oh, no, no, not here.
414
00:16:18,779 --> 00:16:20,683
This place is just for strays.
415
00:16:20,694 --> 00:16:23,232
- I have a family.
- Hey! Eat your chicken!
416
00:16:23,265 --> 00:16:25,470
- He's not gonna make it.
- I can hear you.
417
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:27,608
Guillermo! Open!
418
00:16:27,734 --> 00:16:29,021
Guillermo.
419
00:16:29,876 --> 00:16:32,138
Uh, I don't... think I can make it.
420
00:16:32,149 --> 00:16:34,354
Of course you're gonna
make it. I know this is difficult,
421
00:16:34,387 --> 00:16:36,526
but you've got to be strong, okay?
422
00:16:36,559 --> 00:16:40,260
I want you to go in here
and ask to use the toilet.
423
00:16:40,271 --> 00:16:43,488
Then I want you to ask
for a sanitary wipe.
424
00:16:43,499 --> 00:16:44,798
Then I want you to ask
425
00:16:44,831 --> 00:16:46,768
when the last time
they cleaned the toilet.
426
00:16:46,779 --> 00:16:48,349
Then I want you to tell them
427
00:16:48,366 --> 00:16:50,290
you're gonna take a nice big shit, okay?
428
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:52,051
It's gonna buy you a
few more hours of energy.
429
00:16:52,062 --> 00:16:54,818
- Whoa! Get the fuck out!
- Oh, fuck.
430
00:16:54,829 --> 00:16:57,500
- May I use your toilet?
- Wait a minute, wait a minute.
431
00:16:58,381 --> 00:16:59,639
Yo!
432
00:16:59,672 --> 00:17:01,643
It's my guy from TikTok.
433
00:17:01,676 --> 00:17:02,994
What?
434
00:17:03,331 --> 00:17:05,693
Whoa! Nobody fucking move.
435
00:17:08,605 --> 00:17:11,259
- ♪ Jump around... ♪
- Colin Robinson, that's you.
436
00:17:11,270 --> 00:17:12,779
- Oh, for crying out loud.
- Yeah.
437
00:17:12,790 --> 00:17:15,353
How did they make
this so quick? And the music?
438
00:17:15,364 --> 00:17:16,735
Aah!
439
00:17:16,772 --> 00:17:17,981
Nice shot.
440
00:17:18,094 --> 00:17:20,533
Thank you so much! You saved my store!
441
00:17:21,190 --> 00:17:23,174
- He did?
- How clean's your toi...
442
00:17:23,185 --> 00:17:25,390
- It's...
- No!
443
00:17:25,401 --> 00:17:26,733
Colin Robinson!
444
00:17:26,985 --> 00:17:29,420
- Guillermo!
- You can't be back here.
445
00:17:29,431 --> 00:17:30,705
Move!
446
00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:33,253
Fuck off!
447
00:17:33,264 --> 00:17:35,369
- Guillermo!
- Hey, girl.
448
00:17:35,577 --> 00:17:37,317
Get off him! Get away!
449
00:17:37,328 --> 00:17:40,327
He's mine!
450
00:17:42,202 --> 00:17:44,761
Get off him! Get off!
451
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,943
Shoo! Scram!
452
00:17:49,688 --> 00:17:50,794
Now, what the fuck, man?
453
00:17:50,805 --> 00:17:52,834
This doctor tells me
you're almost a vampire?
454
00:17:52,845 --> 00:17:54,882
Oops, I have a little secret.
455
00:17:54,915 --> 00:17:57,755
Focus, Guillermo. The truth now.
456
00:17:57,788 --> 00:17:59,826
Fine! Okay?
457
00:18:00,056 --> 00:18:03,092
I took my fate into my own
destiny and I had Derek do it.
458
00:18:03,103 --> 00:18:06,268
I paid him to do it.
He turned me into a vampire!
459
00:18:06,279 --> 00:18:07,394
Derek?
460
00:18:07,405 --> 00:18:11,276
You could have been turned
by a legendary vampire,
461
00:18:11,287 --> 00:18:14,423
and you gave it away to Derek?
462
00:18:14,434 --> 00:18:17,267
Nandor is going to rip your
face into a new asshole.
463
00:18:17,278 --> 00:18:18,482
Well, it doesn't matter,
does, it, 'cause these guys
464
00:18:18,493 --> 00:18:20,689
- are gonna kill me anyways.
- Oh shut up, you dumb dick.
465
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:23,733
I'm not gonna let them kill
you. That is Nandor's privilege.
466
00:18:23,744 --> 00:18:25,715
Now, come on, let's go.
467
00:18:26,366 --> 00:18:28,337
I told you, we need to put him down.
468
00:18:28,370 --> 00:18:29,903
That's not going to happen.
469
00:18:29,914 --> 00:18:31,377
He is coming with me,
470
00:18:31,388 --> 00:18:34,189
and his master will
decide how to kill him.
471
00:18:34,200 --> 00:18:37,289
If we release an abomination
like that onto the street,
472
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,116
I'm gonna lose my medical license.
473
00:18:41,088 --> 00:18:42,625
Nadja! Watch out.
474
00:18:48,650 --> 00:18:50,152
Help me, you load.
475
00:18:51,796 --> 00:18:53,800
- Oh, whoa.
- Good one, Guillermo!
476
00:18:53,833 --> 00:18:55,128
- Ow.
- Yes!
477
00:18:55,608 --> 00:18:56,673
Nice one.
478
00:18:56,888 --> 00:18:58,658
- Ha!
- Watch out!
479
00:19:05,074 --> 00:19:06,276
Don't touch her!
480
00:19:07,206 --> 00:19:10,246
No!
481
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,437
You're just a glorified vet.
482
00:19:12,470 --> 00:19:14,408
Guillermo!
483
00:19:14,441 --> 00:19:16,982
Nadja!
484
00:19:16,993 --> 00:19:19,607
Get away from her, you bitch!
485
00:19:19,618 --> 00:19:23,239
Oh!
486
00:19:23,250 --> 00:19:26,206
Thank you, Girerro.
487
00:19:26,217 --> 00:19:29,850
Oh. I think I might've got a
little bit of poison in my face.
488
00:19:29,861 --> 00:19:31,531
Do I look okay?
489
00:19:31,849 --> 00:19:34,649
- Yeah. You look... you look fine.
- Good.
490
00:19:34,660 --> 00:19:36,569
Now go and find your clothes and I'll...
491
00:19:38,128 --> 00:19:39,798
Let's go.
492
00:19:41,608 --> 00:19:43,733
Laszlo! Laszlo!
493
00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,571
- What is it, man?
- Help!
494
00:19:45,604 --> 00:19:47,674
Quick, to the laboratory.
495
00:19:49,758 --> 00:19:51,738
- Laszlo, hurry. Please hurry.
- All right.
496
00:19:51,749 --> 00:19:53,553
Now, brace yourself, fellas.
497
00:19:53,586 --> 00:19:54,822
Turning the machine
498
00:19:54,855 --> 00:19:56,792
on.
499
00:19:59,227 --> 00:20:01,480
Is it working? Do you feel good?
500
00:20:02,631 --> 00:20:06,697
- It hurt at first, but now I kind of like it.
- Yeah.
501
00:20:06,707 --> 00:20:09,685
What exactly is the
purpose of this machine?
502
00:20:09,718 --> 00:20:12,490
It's just a simple energy
transference device.
503
00:20:12,501 --> 00:20:15,473
I originally built it to
combat situational impotence,
504
00:20:15,484 --> 00:20:18,091
or whiskey dick, as you might call it.
505
00:20:18,102 --> 00:20:21,375
Oh, that makes sense,
'cause I'm getting a little
506
00:20:21,408 --> 00:20:23,045
tickle in my pickle.
507
00:20:23,056 --> 00:20:25,078
Well, that's an accident,
'cause I removed that aspect.
508
00:20:25,089 --> 00:20:26,908
- Must be the vibrations.
- Could be.
509
00:20:26,919 --> 00:20:28,576
Or could be the smell.
510
00:20:28,587 --> 00:20:30,972
I really like the smell of burning hair.
511
00:20:30,983 --> 00:20:32,018
What about you, Nandor?
512
00:20:32,029 --> 00:20:33,934
How are you finding it?
513
00:20:33,967 --> 00:20:35,057
Oh, fuck.
514
00:20:40,768 --> 00:20:42,739
Shit. Turning the machine off.
515
00:20:44,228 --> 00:20:45,983
Reverse the process, Laszlo.
516
00:20:45,994 --> 00:20:47,628
Well, I can't. It's too late, isn't it?
517
00:20:47,684 --> 00:20:49,521
- Look at him. Shit.
- Laszlo!
518
00:20:49,532 --> 00:20:50,934
- Get fucking downstairs!
- Shit.
519
00:20:50,967 --> 00:20:54,120
- Go ahead. I'll reenergize Nandor myself.
- How?
520
00:20:54,131 --> 00:20:56,244
- Laszlo!
- Well, if I can drain the energy from people,
521
00:20:56,255 --> 00:20:57,737
I sure as hell can put it back in them.
522
00:20:57,748 --> 00:20:58,894
- Just go. Trust me.
- Get downstairs!
523
00:20:58,905 --> 00:21:00,843
- Coming, my darling.
- Don't you "darling" me.
524
00:21:00,854 --> 00:21:02,725
Would I be wrong in sensing some...
525
00:21:02,736 --> 00:21:04,874
Nandor? Hello.
526
00:21:04,929 --> 00:21:07,768
It's your boy, Colin Robinson.
527
00:21:07,801 --> 00:21:12,303
But I'm going to tell
you my real name. It's...
528
00:21:12,410 --> 00:21:13,630
Arthur...
529
00:21:14,688 --> 00:21:16,057
Simon...
530
00:21:16,117 --> 00:21:17,487
Santino.
531
00:21:17,521 --> 00:21:19,926
But I-I had to change it
532
00:21:19,937 --> 00:21:22,609
because people would
laugh when they realized
533
00:21:22,620 --> 00:21:25,994
that the initials spelled out "ass."
534
00:21:27,451 --> 00:21:28,955
Ass.
535
00:21:28,966 --> 00:21:31,404
Do you know who it was
that pointed that out to me?
536
00:21:31,415 --> 00:21:34,623
- No.
- It was my ex-boyfriend,
537
00:21:34,634 --> 00:21:36,447
Davy Crockett.
538
00:21:36,458 --> 00:21:37,928
At the Alamo.
539
00:21:38,863 --> 00:21:40,500
- Really?
- Yeah.
540
00:21:40,511 --> 00:21:42,381
If-if you don't believe me,
541
00:21:42,392 --> 00:21:46,366
maybe this knife that Jim
Bowie gave me will convince you.
542
00:21:46,425 --> 00:21:47,894
Ass.
543
00:21:50,318 --> 00:21:52,713
- My darling, you need to calm down.
- I mean, what the hell?
544
00:21:52,724 --> 00:21:54,189
We have a little two-faced bitch,
545
00:21:54,200 --> 00:21:56,966
lying-behind-the-back vampire in the
house and my husband doesn't think
546
00:21:56,977 --> 00:21:58,763
- I need to know about it?
- Cool it, my darling.
547
00:21:58,774 --> 00:22:00,439
I'm just trying to find a cure.
548
00:22:00,472 --> 00:22:02,745
All right? Now,
if I can stop the transformation,
549
00:22:02,778 --> 00:22:04,640
maybe Nandor can turn Gizmo.
550
00:22:04,651 --> 00:22:07,503
You are a worthless piece of
big, wet skatá, Guillermo.
551
00:22:07,514 --> 00:22:10,114
- Yeah.
- When Nandor finds out, he's going to kill you.
552
00:22:10,125 --> 00:22:11,367
And then he's going to kill all of us.
553
00:22:11,378 --> 00:22:12,474
- Mm.
- And then he's going to kill himself.
554
00:22:12,485 --> 00:22:13,681
- Then don't tell him.
- I'm not going
555
00:22:13,692 --> 00:22:15,028
to lie to my housemate to cover up
556
00:22:15,039 --> 00:22:16,434
- your treachery.
- Just give me
557
00:22:16,445 --> 00:22:17,547
a chance to make this up.
When I did this, I didn't...
558
00:22:17,558 --> 00:22:20,169
Finally. Well, well, well.
559
00:22:20,180 --> 00:22:22,651
You've been gone all night.
What, you can't even call?
560
00:22:22,662 --> 00:22:23,965
Sorry.
561
00:22:24,042 --> 00:22:26,593
- They tried to put me down.
- What? Why?
562
00:22:26,626 --> 00:22:27,995
What did the doctor say?
563
00:22:28,028 --> 00:22:29,497
Uh, uh, uh...
564
00:22:30,886 --> 00:22:31,955
Yes?
565
00:22:33,236 --> 00:22:34,642
Guillermo is fine.
566
00:22:34,675 --> 00:22:36,444
Just your average weak-boned,
567
00:22:36,455 --> 00:22:38,426
broken-foot familiar.
568
00:22:38,437 --> 00:22:41,429
I guess someone won't be
cutting a rug anytime soon.
569
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:42,810
Wait.
570
00:22:43,799 --> 00:22:45,502
Don't move.
571
00:22:52,563 --> 00:22:53,799
What...
572
00:22:53,813 --> 00:22:55,584
the hell...
573
00:22:56,077 --> 00:22:58,081
is this?
574
00:23:00,405 --> 00:23:01,475
Hmm?
575
00:23:02,657 --> 00:23:03,826
Frog?
576
00:23:03,837 --> 00:23:05,641
Really? A frog?
577
00:23:05,652 --> 00:23:08,390
A frog that flies and has hair
578
00:23:08,575 --> 00:23:10,783
and looks kind of like you?
579
00:23:12,203 --> 00:23:14,308
Guillermo, do you think I am an idiot?
580
00:23:14,319 --> 00:23:15,823
Say no.
581
00:23:15,834 --> 00:23:18,017
- No.
- That's right.
582
00:23:18,370 --> 00:23:21,156
Because this is precisely what happens
583
00:23:21,167 --> 00:23:23,974
when a little birdy
sneaks into this house,
584
00:23:24,007 --> 00:23:26,679
fucks a mouse, they have
a child that grows up
585
00:23:26,690 --> 00:23:29,095
that then fucks a frog
that looks like you.
586
00:23:29,172 --> 00:23:32,645
This is a direct
result of your slacking.
587
00:23:32,656 --> 00:23:35,379
We are not running a
fucking circus here.
588
00:23:35,390 --> 00:23:37,126
Yeesh.
589
00:23:38,101 --> 00:23:39,666
Give him to me.
590
00:23:39,677 --> 00:23:41,491
You may have fooled him,
591
00:23:41,502 --> 00:23:44,683
'cause he has the IQ
of a Russian toilet,
592
00:23:44,694 --> 00:23:46,841
but I know you're up to
something, aren't you,
593
00:23:46,852 --> 00:23:48,656
you little sneaky Pete?
594
00:23:52,456 --> 00:23:53,825
Okay, Colin,
595
00:23:53,955 --> 00:23:55,410
- if I tell you something...
- Psych.
596
00:23:55,421 --> 00:23:57,260
I couldn't give two squirts.
597
00:24:13,947 --> 00:24:14,996
Gui...
598
00:24:15,007 --> 00:24:18,389
- ller... mo.
- Surely not.
599
00:24:18,400 --> 00:24:19,607
Gui...
600
00:24:19,618 --> 00:24:22,056
ller... mo.
601
00:24:23,644 --> 00:24:25,585
Yeah. Carry on.
602
00:24:26,924 --> 00:24:31,944
- Synced and corrected by naFraC -
- www.MY-SUBS.com -
44682
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