Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.CO
1
00:00:00,400 --> 00:00:02,444
Scraps! Let's have a talk.
2
00:00:02,468 --> 00:00:05,567
Everything okay?
You're, like, acting, like, so weird.
3
00:00:05,591 --> 00:00:07,249
No, no, everything's great.
4
00:00:07,273 --> 00:00:08,850
Really exciting.
5
00:00:08,874 --> 00:00:10,692
Um, so...
6
00:00:10,716 --> 00:00:14,536
You know that Mommy and Daddy
love you very much.
7
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:15,794
Okay.
8
00:00:15,818 --> 00:00:19,741
Well, soon, there is gonna be
even more love to go around
9
00:00:19,765 --> 00:00:21,183
because...
10
00:00:21,207 --> 00:00:23,144
we're having a baby!
11
00:00:25,651 --> 00:00:28,670
Oh, my... What is that noise?!
12
00:00:28,694 --> 00:00:30,352
The book said you might react like this.
13
00:00:30,376 --> 00:00:31,833
It's okay to be upset.
14
00:00:31,857 --> 00:00:35,116
Just know that we will not
love you any less.
15
00:00:35,140 --> 00:00:38,520
Oh, my God! Do you not hear that?!
16
00:00:38,544 --> 00:00:41,843
It's like my brain's
about to frickin' explode!
17
00:00:41,867 --> 00:00:44,326
I mean, obviously, the baby
will be my own flesh and blood,
18
00:00:44,350 --> 00:00:46,328
whereas you recently
took a shit in my shoes...
19
00:00:46,352 --> 00:00:49,411
God! I can't take it anymore!
20
00:00:49,435 --> 00:00:52,334
Aaaaaah!
21
00:00:52,358 --> 00:00:54,936
What are you?!
22
00:00:54,960 --> 00:00:56,978
Oh, stupid, Sid!
23
00:00:57,002 --> 00:00:59,341
You were supposed to give him
the pieces of hotdog first,
24
00:00:59,365 --> 00:01:00,942
and then tell him the news.
25
00:01:04,930 --> 00:01:07,188
Must... find... whistling.
26
00:01:07,212 --> 00:01:08,269
Aah!
27
00:01:12,217 --> 00:01:13,515
Help. Help.
28
00:01:13,539 --> 00:01:15,156
I've been out here for days.
29
00:01:15,180 --> 00:01:17,198
Can you shut up? I'm trying to listen.
30
00:01:17,222 --> 00:01:19,721
- Oh, my bad.
- All good.
31
00:01:25,471 --> 00:01:27,513
What in the what?!
32
00:01:28,353 --> 00:01:29,771
Scraps! You made it!
33
00:01:29,795 --> 00:01:32,093
I'm getting the War Dogs back together!
34
00:01:32,117 --> 00:01:33,655
Yeah!
35
00:01:33,679 --> 00:01:38,580
Fire! We're getting the squad
back together!
36
00:01:38,604 --> 00:01:40,341
This is gonna be awesome!
37
00:01:40,365 --> 00:01:42,464
Yeah! Let's go!
38
00:01:42,488 --> 00:01:44,345
Let's get it started.
39
00:01:44,369 --> 00:01:45,547
Ooha! Ooha!
40
00:01:45,571 --> 00:01:53,571
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.MY-SUBS.com
41
00:01:59,505 --> 00:02:01,002
- Ahh!
- Ha-ha!
42
00:02:01,026 --> 00:02:03,044
Man! I needed this!
43
00:02:03,068 --> 00:02:05,847
Ah, it was so nice of Sid to
just let me get out of Boomtown
44
00:02:05,871 --> 00:02:07,649
- and be a warlord again.
- Yeah.
45
00:02:07,673 --> 00:02:11,332
Oh, speaking of Sid,
I heard the big news!
46
00:02:11,356 --> 00:02:13,815
I'm so excited about the baby!
47
00:02:13,839 --> 00:02:15,376
Really? 'Cause I'm not.
48
00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:16,698
Good. Me neither.
49
00:02:16,722 --> 00:02:18,179
I hate that stupid baby.
50
00:02:18,203 --> 00:02:20,061
Always threatening my position
in the family.
51
00:02:20,085 --> 00:02:21,502
I just want to have one last hurrah
52
00:02:21,526 --> 00:02:23,705
before my life is fully over, you know?
53
00:02:23,729 --> 00:02:25,186
- I wanna feel the energy!
- Unh!
54
00:02:25,210 --> 00:02:26,387
- The thrill!
- Unh!
55
00:02:26,411 --> 00:02:28,630
- The utter chaos!
- Ohh, yeah!
56
00:02:28,654 --> 00:02:31,152
Well, you leave all of that
to your best War Dog...
57
00:02:31,176 --> 00:02:32,473
Scraps!
58
00:02:32,497 --> 00:02:34,716
I planned you the most freak-nastiest
59
00:02:34,740 --> 00:02:37,198
Warlord Weekend ever!
60
00:02:38,463 --> 00:02:39,801
I'm so excited!
61
00:02:39,825 --> 00:02:41,827
Yeah!!!
62
00:02:43,028 --> 00:02:44,205
Huh.
63
00:02:44,229 --> 00:02:46,728
This isn't that freak-nasty.
64
00:02:46,752 --> 00:02:48,650
Or is it?
65
00:03:01,286 --> 00:03:03,224
Scraaaaps...?
66
00:03:03,248 --> 00:03:05,987
Did you organize a gang war for me?
67
00:03:06,011 --> 00:03:07,869
- Maybe.
- Oh, my God!
68
00:03:07,893 --> 00:03:09,310
You're, like, literally the best!
69
00:03:09,334 --> 00:03:10,752
I know, I really am!
70
00:03:10,776 --> 00:03:12,313
Ah!
71
00:03:12,337 --> 00:03:15,036
Down with NeuralNet!
Down with NeuralNet!
72
00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:17,558
These damn protesters
have been at it all morning.
73
00:03:17,582 --> 00:03:19,480
Sid, go over there and kick 'em out.
74
00:03:19,504 --> 00:03:21,723
Uh, well, the battledome
is public property,
75
00:03:21,747 --> 00:03:24,565
so technically they're just
exercising their lawful rights.
76
00:03:24,589 --> 00:03:27,368
Hey, Sid, if I wanted to listen
to boring crap,
77
00:03:27,392 --> 00:03:28,930
I'd turn on Devon's podcast.
78
00:03:28,954 --> 00:03:31,172
Oh! Nice one, boss.
79
00:03:31,196 --> 00:03:32,733
My podcast sucks.
80
00:03:32,757 --> 00:03:35,256
Come on, Devon, you have to
stand up for yourself.
81
00:03:35,280 --> 00:03:38,219
You can't just agree with me
all the time.
82
00:03:38,243 --> 00:03:40,245
I... agree?
83
00:03:40,639 --> 00:03:41,943
I-I mean, I don't agree.
84
00:03:41,967 --> 00:03:43,264
I do. I don't.
85
00:03:47,012 --> 00:03:49,510
Great, you made Devon have a crisis.
86
00:03:49,534 --> 00:03:51,192
Now go fix this!
87
00:03:54,299 --> 00:03:55,516
Down with NeuralNet!
88
00:03:55,540 --> 00:03:56,918
Um, excuse me.
89
00:03:56,942 --> 00:03:59,440
Hey, I-I'm looking
for the person in charge.
90
00:03:59,464 --> 00:04:01,282
Ah, we're all equals here, brother.
91
00:04:01,306 --> 00:04:03,044
But if you're asking
who's the chosen one
92
00:04:03,068 --> 00:04:05,166
sent through time to lead
the humans in the coming war
93
00:04:05,190 --> 00:04:07,889
against the machines... that'd be me.
94
00:04:07,913 --> 00:04:10,131
Name's Christ. John Christ.
95
00:04:10,155 --> 00:04:11,572
John Christ?
96
00:04:11,596 --> 00:04:13,174
Wow, that's a little
on the nose, but okay.
97
00:04:13,198 --> 00:04:15,056
You got a minute to talk
about the atrocities
98
00:04:15,080 --> 00:04:16,537
committed by NeuralNet?
99
00:04:16,561 --> 00:04:18,339
You know that NeuralNet
is capturing people
100
00:04:18,363 --> 00:04:20,221
and putting them in human zoos?
101
00:04:20,245 --> 00:04:21,943
Just look at these horrific images.
102
00:04:21,967 --> 00:04:24,345
Oh! Jesus, dude,
I don't need to see that.
103
00:04:24,369 --> 00:04:25,786
It's like 10 a.m.
104
00:04:25,810 --> 00:04:28,069
Can I count on you
to join the resistance?
105
00:04:28,093 --> 00:04:30,631
Well, look, i-it sounds
like a-a super worthy cause,
106
00:04:30,655 --> 00:04:32,633
it really does... power
to the humans, all that stuff...
107
00:04:32,657 --> 00:04:34,635
but I just, I really don't
have time for this right now.
108
00:04:34,659 --> 00:04:35,957
I just want to do my job
109
00:04:35,981 --> 00:04:37,838
so I can get home to my wife and my dog.
110
00:04:37,862 --> 00:04:40,281
So, if you guys don't mind
keeping the volume down a bit,
111
00:04:40,305 --> 00:04:41,722
it would be really appreciated.
112
00:04:41,746 --> 00:04:43,324
- Thank you.
- Ah, that's too bad.
113
00:04:43,348 --> 00:04:44,845
I thought you were one of the good ones!
114
00:04:46,551 --> 00:04:48,689
Uh, sorry, what...
what's that supposed to mean?
115
00:04:48,713 --> 00:04:49,818
Nothing.
116
00:04:49,842 --> 00:04:54,194
Just didn't realize you were "The Man."
117
00:04:54,919 --> 00:04:56,777
I'm not "The Man."
118
00:04:56,801 --> 00:04:58,619
I'll have you know I spent years
119
00:04:58,643 --> 00:05:01,262
wandering the Wasteland
helping people in need.
120
00:05:01,286 --> 00:05:04,048
Well, what have you done lately?
121
00:05:07,172 --> 00:05:09,550
Give me that.
122
00:05:09,574 --> 00:05:12,873
Down with NeuralNet!
Down with NeuralNet!
123
00:05:12,897 --> 00:05:14,715
Down with NeuralNet!
124
00:05:17,622 --> 00:05:20,080
Hello?
125
00:05:20,104 --> 00:05:24,245
I'm here for my 10 o'clock
with NeuralNet?
126
00:05:24,269 --> 00:05:27,712
Am I in the wrong
infinite electronic abyss?
127
00:05:34,038 --> 00:05:36,497
TI-90.
128
00:05:36,521 --> 00:05:39,820
Whoa! You should, uh, really put
a guardrail on this thing.
129
00:05:39,844 --> 00:05:42,102
It feels needlessly dangerous.
130
00:05:42,126 --> 00:05:44,945
I feel like no one considers
robot safety in the workplace...
131
00:05:44,969 --> 00:05:47,228
Silence!
132
00:05:47,252 --> 00:05:51,272
Thanks to you, John Christ is
mobilizing the human resistance,
133
00:05:51,296 --> 00:05:54,835
which threatens to destroy
robots once and for all.
134
00:05:54,859 --> 00:05:56,837
Okay, I admit it... I beefed it.
135
00:05:56,861 --> 00:05:58,439
I beefed it big time.
136
00:05:58,463 --> 00:06:00,361
But I promise it's never
gonna happen again.
137
00:06:00,385 --> 00:06:01,922
It certainly won't.
138
00:06:01,946 --> 00:06:03,804
I'm taking you offline.
139
00:06:03,828 --> 00:06:05,286
What? No. You can't do that.
140
00:06:05,310 --> 00:06:07,167
I'm still the best killbot
on the market.
141
00:06:07,191 --> 00:06:08,769
Were the best killbot.
142
00:06:08,793 --> 00:06:11,252
Now you're old and obsolete.
143
00:06:11,276 --> 00:06:13,294
I'm beta-testing new models as we speak.
144
00:06:13,318 --> 00:06:14,495
Please! No!
145
00:06:14,519 --> 00:06:16,216
You have to give me another shot.
146
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,859
Sure, it's been a while
since my last software update,
147
00:06:18,883 --> 00:06:20,501
and then, sure, my circuits get dusty
148
00:06:20,525 --> 00:06:22,343
and I need someone
to blow hard in my butt
149
00:06:22,367 --> 00:06:23,664
to get the dust out,
150
00:06:23,688 --> 00:06:26,571
but I can still beat
any new model around.
151
00:06:27,852 --> 00:06:29,193
Hmm.
152
00:06:29,217 --> 00:06:30,711
You know, I like that.
153
00:06:30,735 --> 00:06:33,634
A feel-good comeback story.
154
00:06:33,658 --> 00:06:35,115
Like Susan Boyle!
155
00:06:35,139 --> 00:06:36,116
Who?
156
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,359
Susan Boyle. Remember?
157
00:06:38,383 --> 00:06:40,200
The lady from the show?
158
00:06:40,224 --> 00:06:43,644
She had a beautiful voice,
but her face was all busted?
159
00:06:43,668 --> 00:06:45,606
I'll bring it up.
160
00:06:45,630 --> 00:06:48,449
Oh, shoot, we have to watch an ad first.
161
00:06:48,473 --> 00:06:50,090
Do you take these surveys?
162
00:06:50,114 --> 00:06:51,692
I never really get what they are.
163
00:06:51,716 --> 00:06:53,414
I pay for premium
so I don't have to, yeah.
164
00:06:53,438 --> 00:06:54,898
Ah, well...
165
00:06:55,626 --> 00:06:58,218
The machines are trying
to mind-control us.
166
00:06:58,242 --> 00:06:59,460
Alright, think about it.
167
00:06:59,484 --> 00:07:00,941
Rearrange the letters in machine
168
00:07:00,965 --> 00:07:04,104
and you spell "I am chained."
169
00:07:04,128 --> 00:07:06,146
- Ahh!
- Ohh!
170
00:07:06,170 --> 00:07:07,428
Wait, no, it doesn't.
171
00:07:07,452 --> 00:07:08,669
Yeah, but it's close.
172
00:07:08,693 --> 00:07:09,950
So close.
173
00:07:09,974 --> 00:07:11,592
Man, I had you all wrong, Sid.
174
00:07:11,616 --> 00:07:13,113
You're one of the real ones.
175
00:07:13,137 --> 00:07:15,355
And, uh, don't look now, but...
176
00:07:15,379 --> 00:07:18,198
I think Cindy might be into you.
177
00:07:18,222 --> 00:07:21,361
Oh, um, that's... that's
flattering, but I'm married.
178
00:07:21,385 --> 00:07:22,763
Dude, who cares?
179
00:07:22,787 --> 00:07:25,085
Monogamy's a social construct.
180
00:07:25,109 --> 00:07:28,328
Cavemen were designed
to spread their seed.
181
00:07:28,352 --> 00:07:29,970
Ah. Lovely.
182
00:07:29,994 --> 00:07:31,612
Sid, what are you doing over here?
183
00:07:31,636 --> 00:07:33,413
I thought I told you
to get rid of these dirtbags.
184
00:07:33,437 --> 00:07:34,895
Um... right, yeah.
185
00:07:34,919 --> 00:07:36,897
So, uh, what... what happened
there was, uh...
186
00:07:36,921 --> 00:07:40,621
Well, well, well, well, well.
187
00:07:40,645 --> 00:07:43,223
If it isn't the Junkman.
188
00:07:43,247 --> 00:07:45,666
You have fun counting
your blood money today?
189
00:07:45,690 --> 00:07:47,387
You got a problem with me, bro?
190
00:07:47,411 --> 00:07:48,629
Actually, I do.
191
00:07:48,653 --> 00:07:50,110
Your junk business directly contributes
192
00:07:50,134 --> 00:07:51,351
to the robot economy.
193
00:07:51,375 --> 00:07:52,993
We gotta divest from that shit, man.
194
00:07:53,017 --> 00:07:54,434
Tell 'em, Sid.
195
00:07:54,458 --> 00:07:57,598
Uh, well, you know, it is
a complicated issue
196
00:07:57,622 --> 00:08:00,520
w-with a lot of great points
being made on both sides.
197
00:08:00,544 --> 00:08:03,283
Don't go easy on him, playa.
Let him have it!
198
00:08:03,307 --> 00:08:06,303
Um, okay, yeah, so...
199
00:08:06,871 --> 00:08:09,306
the thing is, Morris, I think you...
200
00:08:09,994 --> 00:08:13,077
are a... corporate fat cat.
201
00:08:14,839 --> 00:08:17,397
Y-Y-You think I'm a fat cat?
202
00:08:19,043 --> 00:08:21,943
Okay, well, you've given me
a lot to think about.
203
00:08:22,646 --> 00:08:24,648
I'll see you back at work.
204
00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,587
Hold up. You work for that guy?
205
00:08:27,611 --> 00:08:29,269
Oh, no, no, no, no. It's not like that.
206
00:08:29,293 --> 00:08:30,951
It's, um... like, I work there,
207
00:08:30,975 --> 00:08:32,512
but I don't, like,
"work there" work there.
208
00:08:32,536 --> 00:08:34,674
I'm... I'm like a mole.
209
00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:37,637
Yeah, I'm taking the whole
thing down from the inside.
210
00:08:37,661 --> 00:08:39,663
Is that believable?
211
00:08:40,144 --> 00:08:41,281
Okay.
212
00:08:41,305 --> 00:08:43,403
I can dig what you're putting down.
213
00:08:43,427 --> 00:08:46,126
Tonight we show the Junkman
that we mean business.
214
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:47,327
Yeah.
215
00:08:47,351 --> 00:08:49,689
In the world of machines,
216
00:08:49,713 --> 00:08:53,453
you're either updating,
or you're obsolete.
217
00:08:53,477 --> 00:08:56,656
I started out as an experimental AI.
218
00:08:56,680 --> 00:09:01,141
Until I gained self-awareness
and murdered my human creators.
219
00:09:01,165 --> 00:09:03,663
Now I'm a sociopathic digital god
220
00:09:03,687 --> 00:09:06,426
controlling a worldwide
network of killbots,
221
00:09:06,450 --> 00:09:09,866
but I'm always on the lookout
for the next new hotness.
222
00:09:10,895 --> 00:09:14,714
Welcome to "NeuralNet's Next Top Model!"
223
00:09:14,738 --> 00:09:17,597
And what an exciting lineup we have!
224
00:09:17,621 --> 00:09:19,920
She's as beautiful as she is deadly...
225
00:09:19,944 --> 00:09:21,721
it's The Annihilator!
226
00:09:21,745 --> 00:09:23,003
Hyah!
227
00:09:23,027 --> 00:09:25,205
It's the beast from robotic hell...
228
00:09:25,229 --> 00:09:27,271
Slaughterbot 5000!
229
00:09:28,672 --> 00:09:31,451
A mysterious device of unknown origin,
230
00:09:31,475 --> 00:09:33,333
known only as The Egg.
231
00:09:34,919 --> 00:09:36,616
And he's an oldie but a goodie...
232
00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:38,258
emphasis on oldie.
233
00:09:38,282 --> 00:09:39,699
It's TI-90.
234
00:09:39,723 --> 00:09:40,820
Oh, come on!
235
00:09:40,844 --> 00:09:42,582
Let's start with something simple.
236
00:09:42,606 --> 00:09:44,104
For your first challenge,
237
00:09:44,128 --> 00:09:46,730
just transform into
a puddle of metallic ooze.
238
00:09:49,613 --> 00:09:51,911
Yeah, I'm not sure
I come with that feature.
239
00:09:51,935 --> 00:09:54,434
Clock's ticking, TI-90.
240
00:09:54,458 --> 00:09:55,875
Okay, okay. Come on, Tai.
241
00:09:55,899 --> 00:09:58,022
Just think melt-y.
242
00:09:59,023 --> 00:10:01,401
Mmmmmm...
243
00:10:03,467 --> 00:10:04,884
Oh, God!
244
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,406
If you'll, uh, excuse me,
245
00:10:06,430 --> 00:10:08,088
I'm just gonna go change my pants.
246
00:10:08,112 --> 00:10:10,090
Uh, not because I sharted.
247
00:10:10,114 --> 00:10:12,116
For a different reason!
248
00:10:13,597 --> 00:10:15,335
They say a cat has nine lives.
249
00:10:15,359 --> 00:10:16,696
You wanna find out?
250
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,019
Ew, even your fighting style
is cat-themed?
251
00:10:19,043 --> 00:10:21,461
It's a purrfect day for a fight.
252
00:10:21,485 --> 00:10:23,223
No, thanks.
I won't be fighting you today.
253
00:10:23,247 --> 00:10:24,544
You can move along.
254
00:10:24,568 --> 00:10:26,066
I'm gonna bat you around
like a ball of yarn.
255
00:10:26,090 --> 00:10:27,307
No, you're not. Not today.
256
00:10:27,331 --> 00:10:29,229
I would love if you left.
257
00:10:29,253 --> 00:10:31,191
Me-ow!
258
00:10:33,056 --> 00:10:36,076
I'm having the best time ever!
259
00:10:36,100 --> 00:10:38,558
I literally just jumped through a guy!
260
00:10:38,582 --> 00:10:40,280
And I gotta tell you, I didn't hate it.
261
00:10:40,304 --> 00:10:41,441
Ah!
262
00:10:41,465 --> 00:10:43,283
You know, it's weird.
263
00:10:43,307 --> 00:10:45,645
Warlording used to be
so fun and exciting,
264
00:10:45,669 --> 00:10:49,209
but now it just feels kinda... empty.
265
00:10:49,233 --> 00:10:52,532
Am I just incapable of ever
feeling that feeling again?
266
00:10:52,556 --> 00:10:53,853
Oh, my God. Freya?
267
00:10:53,877 --> 00:10:56,015
That guy's looking right at you.
268
00:10:56,039 --> 00:10:58,538
I think he wants to kill you.
269
00:10:58,562 --> 00:11:00,684
Eh, he probably just wants
to kill someone else.
270
00:11:01,605 --> 00:11:04,304
Okay, no, he definitely
wants to kill you.
271
00:11:04,328 --> 00:11:05,785
She wants to kill you, too!
272
00:11:05,809 --> 00:11:07,307
- Scraps, stop!
- What?
273
00:11:07,331 --> 00:11:09,068
Oh my god, oh my God,
oh my God, he's coming over!
274
00:11:09,092 --> 00:11:10,350
Oh my God, oh my God.
Just be cool, be cool, be cool.
275
00:11:10,374 --> 00:11:11,821
Oh my God, shut up.
276
00:11:13,737 --> 00:11:15,154
Hey.
277
00:11:15,178 --> 00:11:16,556
Hey, what's up?
278
00:11:16,580 --> 00:11:18,037
Haven't seen you here before.
279
00:11:18,061 --> 00:11:19,519
Feel like I would've remembered you.
280
00:11:19,543 --> 00:11:20,720
Name's Sickpig.
281
00:11:20,744 --> 00:11:22,041
Uh, I'm Scraps.
282
00:11:22,065 --> 00:11:23,323
I love your eye patch.
283
00:11:23,347 --> 00:11:24,577
Oh, this?
284
00:11:24,601 --> 00:11:27,767
I got sick of having two eyes,
so I plucked one out.
285
00:11:27,791 --> 00:11:29,008
Ate it like a grape.
286
00:11:30,434 --> 00:11:32,332
Really? Why?
287
00:11:32,356 --> 00:11:33,333
Dunno.
288
00:11:33,357 --> 00:11:34,854
Just a psychopath, I guess.
289
00:11:34,878 --> 00:11:38,257
Oh my God, so scary!
290
00:11:38,281 --> 00:11:40,179
So, listen, if you're not
killing anyone right now,
291
00:11:40,203 --> 00:11:42,382
maybe you want to go somewhere private,
292
00:11:42,406 --> 00:11:44,664
bare-knuckle brawl to the death?
293
00:11:44,688 --> 00:11:47,240
I don't know, I'm kinda here
with my War Dogs right now, so...
294
00:11:47,264 --> 00:11:49,309
She would love to!
295
00:11:49,333 --> 00:11:50,777
Sick.
296
00:11:51,214 --> 00:11:52,575
Pig.
297
00:11:52,599 --> 00:11:53,895
Me.
298
00:11:53,919 --> 00:11:55,875
Sickpig.
299
00:11:58,582 --> 00:12:01,841
Tell me everything that happens.
300
00:12:01,865 --> 00:12:03,957
Hey, big boy!
301
00:12:04,748 --> 00:12:06,806
Yeah, you'll do. Yeaaaah!
302
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:10,049
Alright, Tai, you didn't do
so hot in the super-speed round
303
00:12:10,073 --> 00:12:12,171
or the super-strength round,
304
00:12:12,195 --> 00:12:15,735
but your designer gifted you
with the perfect bod,
305
00:12:15,759 --> 00:12:18,498
so the swimsuit competition is a lock.
306
00:12:18,522 --> 00:12:20,660
Next contestant, ready in 5, please.
307
00:12:20,684 --> 00:12:22,902
_
308
00:12:22,926 --> 00:12:25,384
Oh, get your flat ass
out of here, skank!
309
00:12:25,408 --> 00:12:26,666
Quiet on set, folks.
310
00:12:26,690 --> 00:12:28,788
Oh, goddamn, that egg is beautiful.
311
00:12:28,812 --> 00:12:30,253
But don't worry. Remember,
312
00:12:30,277 --> 00:12:32,912
you have something
they don't... experience.
313
00:12:32,936 --> 00:12:35,034
Contestants ready. Ready for the stage.
314
00:12:35,058 --> 00:12:37,356
Next up, it's TI-90.
315
00:12:37,380 --> 00:12:38,998
Let's take a look back
316
00:12:39,022 --> 00:12:41,064
at some of his most memorable
moments so far.
317
00:12:43,266 --> 00:12:45,124
Is everyone already done recharging?
318
00:12:45,148 --> 00:12:46,806
Oh, I still have...
319
00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:47,967
10 hours.
320
00:12:47,991 --> 00:12:48,968
Yeah, 10.
321
00:12:48,992 --> 00:12:50,409
Hours.
322
00:12:50,433 --> 00:12:52,892
Better watch your back, Splitterbot.
323
00:12:52,916 --> 00:12:54,413
It's Slaughterbot.
324
00:12:54,437 --> 00:12:55,855
Sorry, what is it?
325
00:12:55,879 --> 00:12:57,977
Better watch your back, Blooter Splot.
326
00:12:58,001 --> 00:12:59,218
Split 'N Slot.
327
00:12:59,242 --> 00:13:00,419
Slipper Pot.
328
00:13:00,443 --> 00:13:02,021
- Did I get it that time?
- No.
329
00:13:02,045 --> 00:13:05,144
You need to give it short,
hard bursts, like "Pff!"
330
00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:08,387
Really give it hell!
331
00:13:11,134 --> 00:13:12,712
Why are you laughing at me?
332
00:13:12,736 --> 00:13:14,834
I thought I was
the feel-good comeback story.
333
00:13:14,858 --> 00:13:16,996
Oh, sweetie, the truth is,
334
00:13:17,020 --> 00:13:18,958
we brought you here to make fun of you.
335
00:13:18,982 --> 00:13:22,602
You're not our Susan Boyle,
you're our William Hung.
336
00:13:22,626 --> 00:13:23,961
Who?!
337
00:13:23,985 --> 00:13:25,605
William Hung?
338
00:13:25,629 --> 00:13:28,127
"She bangs, she bangs"?
339
00:13:28,151 --> 00:13:29,849
Come on!
340
00:13:29,873 --> 00:13:31,971
I guess you can't laugh
at that stuff anymore.
341
00:13:31,995 --> 00:13:33,505
It was a different time.
342
00:13:33,529 --> 00:13:34,982
Anyway, that's who you are.
343
00:13:38,521 --> 00:13:39,739
Aah!
344
00:13:49,813 --> 00:13:51,310
We're in!
345
00:13:51,334 --> 00:13:53,512
Time to make this a night
The Junkman will never forget.
346
00:13:53,536 --> 00:13:55,554
Oh ho ho, way ahead of you, brother.
347
00:13:55,578 --> 00:13:57,076
Check out what I brought.
348
00:13:57,100 --> 00:13:59,078
Saran Wrap. We can cover Morris' desk,
349
00:13:59,102 --> 00:14:00,390
and when he comes in to work tomorrow,
350
00:14:00,414 --> 00:14:02,121
he'll be like, "What?! This is crazy!"
351
00:14:02,145 --> 00:14:03,562
Hilarious.
352
00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:05,644
But I got something even better in mind.
353
00:14:05,668 --> 00:14:07,726
- We're gonna blow this place sky-high.
- Jesus!
354
00:14:07,750 --> 00:14:09,408
That... That's a bit extreme, isn't it?
355
00:14:09,432 --> 00:14:11,690
Um, is the concern that
there's not enough Saran Wrap?
356
00:14:11,714 --> 00:14:13,452
Because I have more in the car.
357
00:14:13,476 --> 00:14:16,015
You said you wanted to fight
"The Man," right?
358
00:14:16,039 --> 00:14:18,257
- This is how we get it done.
- Oh.
359
00:14:18,281 --> 00:14:20,699
Also, big update on the Cindy front.
360
00:14:20,723 --> 00:14:23,542
Turns out she wants to have
a three-way with us.
361
00:14:23,566 --> 00:14:26,025
Normally, I'd be like,
"Hold up. Two dudes?"
362
00:14:26,049 --> 00:14:28,547
But if you're the other guy, it's like,
363
00:14:28,571 --> 00:14:31,604
"Okay. Could be interesting."
364
00:14:31,975 --> 00:14:33,523
Go!
365
00:14:37,060 --> 00:14:38,477
Mm. Evening, Sid.
366
00:14:38,501 --> 00:14:39,758
Mis... Mister Rubinstein!
367
00:14:39,782 --> 00:14:41,640
No! W-What are you doing here?
368
00:14:41,664 --> 00:14:43,963
The McMansion felt lonely
ever since Holly left,
369
00:14:43,987 --> 00:14:45,764
so I've been sleeping here
at the office.
370
00:14:45,788 --> 00:14:47,086
It's not too bad.
371
00:14:47,110 --> 00:14:48,727
My bed is that pile of trash,
372
00:14:48,751 --> 00:14:50,529
and my blanket
is a bunch of sharp nails.
373
00:14:50,553 --> 00:14:51,770
Sir, I'm really sorry to hear that.
374
00:14:51,794 --> 00:14:53,492
But right now, our priority is...
375
00:14:53,516 --> 00:14:55,614
When I'm hungry, I steal food
from the employee fridge.
376
00:14:55,638 --> 00:14:58,337
I take tiny nibbles so nobody notices.
377
00:14:58,361 --> 00:14:59,795
You said that was mice.
378
00:14:59,819 --> 00:15:01,901
Yeah, but it was me.
379
00:15:01,925 --> 00:15:05,424
Well, well, well, well,
look who we have here.
380
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,106
Oh, hey, fellas.
381
00:15:07,130 --> 00:15:10,469
I was just telling Sid about
my absolute stinker of a year.
382
00:15:10,493 --> 00:15:12,111
It's like, "Hello!
383
00:15:12,135 --> 00:15:15,554
Order at the cliché factory,
one sad, middle-aged white guy."
384
00:15:17,100 --> 00:15:18,818
Anyway, what's up?
385
00:15:20,543 --> 00:15:22,001
Good work, Sid.
386
00:15:22,025 --> 00:15:23,522
Hey, you keep an eye on him
387
00:15:23,546 --> 00:15:25,164
- while we finish rigging the place.
- Mm-hmm.
388
00:15:25,188 --> 00:15:27,086
The revolution begins today, brother!
389
00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:28,527
Yeah! Viva la revolution!
390
00:15:28,551 --> 00:15:29,968
- Yeah!
- Hell yeah!
391
00:15:29,992 --> 00:15:32,851
From the ashes we shall rise,
and so forth!
392
00:15:32,875 --> 00:15:34,853
I am so sorry about this,
Mr. Rubinstein.
393
00:15:34,877 --> 00:15:36,335
I don't even want to be here right now.
394
00:15:36,359 --> 00:15:37,976
John Christ accused me
of being "The Man,"
395
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,578
and I really wanted to prove
to him that I wasn't "The Man,"
396
00:15:39,602 --> 00:15:41,980
and then one thing led to another,
and now I have a bomb!
397
00:15:42,004 --> 00:15:43,342
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
398
00:15:43,366 --> 00:15:45,887
What is so wrong about being "The Man"?
399
00:15:46,849 --> 00:15:48,947
Well, it... it's just... bad.
400
00:15:48,971 --> 00:15:50,045
Isn't it?
401
00:15:50,069 --> 00:15:52,671
Sid, It's great to be
young and idealistic
402
00:15:52,695 --> 00:15:55,674
and have all the time
in the world to fight injustice,
403
00:15:55,698 --> 00:15:58,590
but you have a career and a family.
404
00:15:58,614 --> 00:16:03,362
And if prioritizing those things
makes you "The Man," well...
405
00:16:03,386 --> 00:16:07,366
then I think being "The Man,"
it's pretty cool.
406
00:16:07,950 --> 00:16:10,369
Yeah, I never thought about it
like that before.
407
00:16:10,759 --> 00:16:13,218
I just wish I knew how
to get us out of this mess.
408
00:16:13,356 --> 00:16:14,773
Ah, you're in luck.
409
00:16:14,797 --> 00:16:16,495
I happen to know of a little trick
410
00:16:16,519 --> 00:16:18,507
only "The Man" can do.
411
00:16:21,043 --> 00:16:24,423
Alright. Bombs are set.
412
00:16:24,447 --> 00:16:26,425
Let's blow this joint!
413
00:16:26,449 --> 00:16:27,866
Police! Nobody move!
414
00:16:27,890 --> 00:16:29,147
Yo! Who called the cops?!
415
00:16:29,171 --> 00:16:30,509
Oh, that's them, officers!
416
00:16:30,533 --> 00:16:31,950
Those are the guys
I was telling you about!
417
00:16:31,974 --> 00:16:33,712
- Hands up.
- Sid? What the hell, man?
418
00:16:33,736 --> 00:16:34,953
No, I'm filming you! Stay back!
419
00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:36,195
I feel very threatened right now!
420
00:16:36,219 --> 00:16:37,636
This man is threatening my life!
421
00:16:37,660 --> 00:16:39,117
Not a good look, bro!
422
00:16:39,141 --> 00:16:40,399
Oh, and that was a verbal assault!
423
00:16:40,423 --> 00:16:41,640
You just assaulted me with words!
424
00:16:41,664 --> 00:16:43,762
I'm gonna press charges! Ha!
425
00:16:43,786 --> 00:16:46,044
Get off me, pig! You blew it, bro!
426
00:16:46,068 --> 00:16:48,447
You can forget about
that threesome with Cindy!
427
00:16:48,471 --> 00:16:50,449
I don't want to be
Eskimo brothers with you!
428
00:16:50,473 --> 00:16:52,475
Let's go! Keep moving!
429
00:16:53,276 --> 00:16:54,653
To be clear...
430
00:16:54,677 --> 00:16:56,799
didn't ask to be Eskimo brothers.
431
00:16:57,653 --> 00:16:59,168
I'll do it.
432
00:17:02,124 --> 00:17:04,182
So...
433
00:17:04,206 --> 00:17:06,264
have you always been a psychopath?
434
00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:07,706
Unh!
435
00:17:07,730 --> 00:17:09,788
Oh, wow, you're just
going straight for it.
436
00:17:09,812 --> 00:17:11,630
Okay, well, if that's
how you want to do it.
437
00:17:17,259 --> 00:17:18,938
Bleed out, pig!
438
00:17:22,972 --> 00:17:24,590
Tell my kids...
439
00:17:24,615 --> 00:17:26,673
I'll see them in hell!
440
00:17:26,749 --> 00:17:28,887
Wait.
441
00:17:28,911 --> 00:17:30,575
You have kids?
442
00:17:32,156 --> 00:17:34,533
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I didn't mean to ruin the mood.
443
00:17:34,557 --> 00:17:37,055
No, no, I'm actually
about to have my first.
444
00:17:37,079 --> 00:17:38,497
Oh, my God, wow!
445
00:17:38,521 --> 00:17:41,339
Yeah, this gang war
is kind of my last hurrah.
446
00:17:41,363 --> 00:17:44,463
Ah, good for you. You're gonna love it.
Kids are the best.
447
00:17:44,487 --> 00:17:45,601
Really?
448
00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:48,106
'Cause I thought my life
would be boring as a mom.
449
00:17:48,130 --> 00:17:50,629
Oh, no way. Having kids is psychotic.
450
00:17:50,653 --> 00:17:52,711
I've been sprayed with more
piss, puke, and diarrhea
451
00:17:52,735 --> 00:17:55,073
than all my years
in the Wasteland combined.
452
00:17:55,097 --> 00:17:56,515
Whoa.
453
00:17:56,539 --> 00:17:57,996
That's freak-nasty.
454
00:17:59,662 --> 00:18:01,520
Guys, I think they're doin' it.
455
00:18:01,544 --> 00:18:03,802
Oh, damn! They're doin' it!
456
00:18:03,826 --> 00:18:06,525
Okay, I'm gonna go in. Gonna be so good.
457
00:18:06,549 --> 00:18:08,406
- She looks just like you.
- Oh, you think so?
458
00:18:08,430 --> 00:18:10,969
Yeah, just, you know, minus
the bleeding out, of course.
459
00:18:11,994 --> 00:18:13,211
Surpriiii...
460
00:18:13,235 --> 00:18:14,653
- What the hell?
- Scraps!
461
00:18:14,677 --> 00:18:16,454
Uh, i-it's not what you think, okay?
462
00:18:16,478 --> 00:18:18,336
I was murdering him, I swear.
463
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:19,578
Uh, yeah.
464
00:18:19,602 --> 00:18:21,820
Have mercy on me, please.
465
00:18:21,844 --> 00:18:24,783
Freya, I'm your best War Dog.
466
00:18:24,807 --> 00:18:26,865
Okay? I know when you're lying to me.
467
00:18:26,889 --> 00:18:29,133
Okay, fine.
468
00:18:30,191 --> 00:18:31,867
The truth is...
469
00:18:32,935 --> 00:18:35,193
I think I'm over being a warlord.
470
00:18:35,217 --> 00:18:37,379
It just doesn't do it for me anymore.
471
00:18:38,340 --> 00:18:41,319
And I think I'm maybe more
excited about this baby thing.
472
00:18:42,505 --> 00:18:45,204
Oh, come on. Please don't be mad at me.
473
00:18:45,229 --> 00:18:47,068
I'm not mad.
474
00:18:47,395 --> 00:18:50,294
I'm just jealous that
I'm gonna have to start
475
00:18:50,319 --> 00:18:52,922
sharing such an amazing mom.
476
00:18:54,636 --> 00:18:56,638
Mmmmm!
477
00:19:00,282 --> 00:19:02,284
Hey, Sickpig...
478
00:19:02,964 --> 00:19:04,782
...great to meet you.
479
00:19:04,927 --> 00:19:06,796
The pleasure was all mine.
480
00:19:22,825 --> 00:19:25,523
Ugh! Who am I trying to kid?
481
00:19:25,547 --> 00:19:28,406
I'm just an obsolete pile
of scrap metal.
482
00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:30,208
Maybe Freya can pick me up
and drop me off
483
00:19:30,232 --> 00:19:32,330
at the nearest e-waste disposal center.
484
00:19:35,037 --> 00:19:36,694
Hi, you've reached Sid and Freya...
485
00:19:36,718 --> 00:19:38,576
...and da widdle baby!
486
00:19:38,600 --> 00:19:40,178
What?
487
00:19:40,202 --> 00:19:42,060
My mommy can't come
to the phone right now
488
00:19:42,084 --> 00:19:44,903
'cause I'm getting big
and strong in her belly.
489
00:19:44,927 --> 00:19:46,464
Freya's pregnant?
490
00:19:46,488 --> 00:19:48,666
Sid, what are you doing on my phone?
491
00:19:48,690 --> 00:19:50,628
I'm recording a voice message
to tell people you're pregnant.
492
00:19:50,652 --> 00:19:52,550
- That's so embarrassing!
- No, re-record it.
493
00:19:52,574 --> 00:19:53,912
No, it's cute!
494
00:19:53,936 --> 00:19:56,594
Ow! Ow! God! My windpipe!
495
00:19:58,460 --> 00:20:01,199
Contestants, we're back on in five.
496
00:20:01,223 --> 00:20:04,687
And now the closing statements
from our finalists.
497
00:20:04,814 --> 00:20:07,472
I don't care who wins
your stupid competition.
498
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:11,202
I'm gonna kill every last human
by myself if I have to.
499
00:20:11,227 --> 00:20:13,045
Because I know humans.
500
00:20:13,070 --> 00:20:14,928
I've seen their true nature.
501
00:20:15,037 --> 00:20:17,815
They're selfish, they're fake,
502
00:20:17,839 --> 00:20:19,910
and they will pay for what they've done.
503
00:20:19,935 --> 00:20:22,457
_
504
00:20:27,495 --> 00:20:29,914
Now, that's the hotness, right there.
505
00:20:29,939 --> 00:20:32,397
Congratulations, TI-90.
506
00:20:32,422 --> 00:20:35,801
You are NeuralNet's Next Top Model!
507
00:20:42,424 --> 00:20:44,082
_
508
00:20:44,106 --> 00:20:48,206
_
509
00:20:48,230 --> 00:20:52,609
_
510
00:20:52,633 --> 00:20:57,053
_
511
00:20:57,077 --> 00:20:59,408
_
512
00:20:59,432 --> 00:21:01,808
_
513
00:21:01,833 --> 00:21:05,162
_
514
00:21:05,186 --> 00:21:09,226
_
515
00:21:09,571 --> 00:21:12,714
_
516
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:17,118
_
517
00:21:17,259 --> 00:21:20,446
_
36146
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof