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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,542 --> 00:00:03,492 Sid: Scraps! Let's have a talk. 2 00:00:03,672 --> 00:00:04,759 Everything okay? 3 00:00:04,784 --> 00:00:06,440 You're, like, acting, like, so weird. 4 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:08,094 No, no, everything's great. 5 00:00:08,095 --> 00:00:09,562 Really exciting. 6 00:00:09,587 --> 00:00:11,501 Um, so... 7 00:00:11,576 --> 00:00:15,405 You know that Mommy and Daddy love you very much. 8 00:00:15,406 --> 00:00:16,687 Okay. 9 00:00:16,712 --> 00:00:20,541 Well, soon, there is gonna be even more love to go around 10 00:00:20,542 --> 00:00:22,021 because... 11 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,979 we're having a baby! 12 00:00:26,504 --> 00:00:29,550 Oh, my... What is that noise?! 13 00:00:29,551 --> 00:00:31,204 The book said you might react like this. 14 00:00:31,205 --> 00:00:32,727 It's okay to be upset. 15 00:00:32,728 --> 00:00:35,991 Just know that we will not love you any less. 16 00:00:35,992 --> 00:00:39,386 Oh, my God! Do you not hear that?! 17 00:00:39,387 --> 00:00:42,737 It's like my brain's about to frickin' explode! 18 00:00:42,738 --> 00:00:45,218 I mean, obviously, the baby will be my own flesh and blood, 19 00:00:45,219 --> 00:00:47,176 whereas you recently took a shit in my shoes... 20 00:00:47,177 --> 00:00:50,266 God! I can't take it anymore! 21 00:00:50,267 --> 00:00:53,182 Aaaaaah! 22 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:55,750 What are you?! 23 00:00:55,751 --> 00:00:57,882 Oh, stupid, Sid! 24 00:00:57,883 --> 00:01:00,189 You were supposed to give him the pieces of hotdog first, 25 00:01:00,190 --> 00:01:01,756 and then tell him the news. 26 00:01:05,717 --> 00:01:08,023 Must... find... whistling. 27 00:01:08,024 --> 00:01:09,111 Aah! 28 00:01:13,029 --> 00:01:14,377 Help. Help. 29 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:16,075 I've been out here for days. 30 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:18,033 Can you shut up? I'm trying to listen. 31 00:01:18,034 --> 00:01:20,514 Oh, my bad. All good. 32 00:01:26,347 --> 00:01:28,349 What in the what?! 33 00:01:29,219 --> 00:01:30,654 Scraps! You made it! 34 00:01:30,655 --> 00:01:32,917 I'm getting the War Dogs back together! 35 00:01:32,918 --> 00:01:34,528 Yeah! 36 00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:39,446 Fire! We're getting the squad back together! 37 00:01:39,447 --> 00:01:41,187 This is gonna be awesome! 38 00:01:41,188 --> 00:01:43,319 Yeah! Let's go! 39 00:01:43,320 --> 00:01:45,191 Let's get it started. 40 00:01:45,192 --> 00:01:46,409 Ooha! Ooha! 41 00:02:00,337 --> 00:02:01,816 - Ahh! - Ha-ha! 42 00:02:01,817 --> 00:02:03,948 Man! I needed this! 43 00:02:03,949 --> 00:02:06,734 Ah, it was so nice of Sid to just let me get out of Boomtown 44 00:02:06,735 --> 00:02:08,518 - and be a warlord again. - Yeah. 45 00:02:08,519 --> 00:02:12,174 Oh, speaking of Sid, I heard the big news! 46 00:02:12,175 --> 00:02:14,698 I'm so excited about the baby! 47 00:02:14,699 --> 00:02:16,222 Really? 'Cause I'm not. 48 00:02:16,223 --> 00:02:17,571 Good. Me neither. 49 00:02:17,572 --> 00:02:19,094 I hate that stupid baby. 50 00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,965 Always threatening my position in the family. 51 00:02:20,966 --> 00:02:22,358 I just want to have one last hurrah 52 00:02:22,359 --> 00:02:24,578 before my life is fully over, you know? 53 00:02:24,579 --> 00:02:26,014 I wanna feel the energy! Unh! 54 00:02:26,015 --> 00:02:27,233 - The thrill! - Unh! 55 00:02:27,234 --> 00:02:29,539 The utter chaos! Ohh, yeah! 56 00:02:29,540 --> 00:02:31,976 Well, you leave all of that to your best War Dog... 57 00:02:31,977 --> 00:02:33,326 Scraps! 58 00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:35,589 I planned you the most freak-nastiest 59 00:02:35,590 --> 00:02:38,026 Warlord Weekend ever! 60 00:02:39,289 --> 00:02:40,637 I'm so excited! 61 00:02:40,638 --> 00:02:42,597 Both: Yeah!!! 62 00:02:43,859 --> 00:02:45,076 Huh. 63 00:02:45,077 --> 00:02:47,557 This isn't that freak-nasty. 64 00:02:47,558 --> 00:02:49,516 Or is it? 65 00:03:02,094 --> 00:03:04,139 Scraaaaps...? 66 00:03:04,140 --> 00:03:06,837 Did you organize a gang war for me? 67 00:03:06,838 --> 00:03:08,752 Maybe. Oh, my God! 68 00:03:08,753 --> 00:03:10,145 You're, like, literally the best! 69 00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,625 I know, I really am! 70 00:03:11,626 --> 00:03:13,235 Ah! 71 00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:15,933 All: Down with NeuralNet! Down with NeuralNet! 72 00:03:15,934 --> 00:03:18,414 These damn protesters have been at it all morning. 73 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:20,373 Sid, go over there and kick 'em out. 74 00:03:20,374 --> 00:03:22,679 Uh, well, the battledome is public property, 75 00:03:22,680 --> 00:03:25,465 so technically they're just exercising their lawful rights. 76 00:03:25,466 --> 00:03:28,207 Hey, Sid, if I wanted to listen to boring crap, 77 00:03:28,208 --> 00:03:29,817 I'd turn on Devon's podcast. 78 00:03:29,818 --> 00:03:31,993 Oh! Nice one, boss. 79 00:03:31,994 --> 00:03:33,647 My podcast sucks. 80 00:03:33,648 --> 00:03:36,171 Come on, Devon, you have to stand up for yourself. 81 00:03:36,172 --> 00:03:39,043 You can't just agree with me all the time. 82 00:03:39,044 --> 00:03:40,872 I... agree? 83 00:03:41,830 --> 00:03:42,786 I-I mean, I don't agree. 84 00:03:42,787 --> 00:03:44,092 I do. I don't. 85 00:03:47,879 --> 00:03:50,359 Great, you made Devon have a crisis. 86 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:52,013 Now go fix this! 87 00:03:55,104 --> 00:03:56,365 Down with NeuralNet! 88 00:03:56,366 --> 00:03:57,801 Um, excuse me. 89 00:03:57,802 --> 00:04:00,282 Hey, I-I'm looking for the person in charge. 90 00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:02,197 Ah, we're all equals here, brother. 91 00:04:02,198 --> 00:04:03,938 But if you're asking who's the chosen one 92 00:04:03,939 --> 00:04:06,070 sent through time to lead the humans in the coming war 93 00:04:06,071 --> 00:04:08,769 against the machines... That'd be me. 94 00:04:08,770 --> 00:04:10,945 Name's Christ. John Christ. 95 00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,425 John Christ? 96 00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:14,078 Wow, that's a little on the nose, but okay. 97 00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:15,906 You got a minute to talk about the atrocities 98 00:04:15,907 --> 00:04:17,430 committed by NeuralNet? 99 00:04:17,431 --> 00:04:19,214 You know that NeuralNet is capturing people 100 00:04:19,215 --> 00:04:21,129 and putting them in human zoos? 101 00:04:21,130 --> 00:04:22,826 Just look at these horrific images. 102 00:04:22,827 --> 00:04:25,176 Oh! Jesus, dude, I don't need to see that. 103 00:04:25,177 --> 00:04:26,656 It's like 10 a.m. 104 00:04:26,657 --> 00:04:28,963 Can I count on you to join the resistance? 105 00:04:28,964 --> 00:04:31,574 Well, look, i-it sounds like a-a super worthy cause, 106 00:04:31,575 --> 00:04:33,576 it really does... power to the humans, all that stuff... 107 00:04:33,577 --> 00:04:35,491 But I just, I really don't have time for this right now. 108 00:04:35,492 --> 00:04:36,840 I just want to do my job 109 00:04:36,841 --> 00:04:38,712 so I can get home to my wife and my dog. 110 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:41,192 So, if you guys don't mind keeping the volume down a bit, 111 00:04:41,193 --> 00:04:42,585 it would be really appreciated. 112 00:04:42,586 --> 00:04:44,239 Thank you. Ah, that's too bad. 113 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:45,719 I thought you were one of the good ones! 114 00:04:47,461 --> 00:04:49,549 Uh, sorry, what... What's that supposed to mean? 115 00:04:49,550 --> 00:04:50,985 Nothing. 116 00:04:50,986 --> 00:04:55,772 Just didn't realize you were "The Man." 117 00:04:55,773 --> 00:04:57,644 I'm not "The Man." 118 00:04:57,645 --> 00:04:59,515 I'll have you know I spent years 119 00:04:59,516 --> 00:05:02,170 wandering the Wasteland helping people in need. 120 00:05:02,171 --> 00:05:04,913 Well, what have you done lately? 121 00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:10,396 Give me that. 122 00:05:10,397 --> 00:05:13,747 Down with NeuralNet! Down with NeuralNet! 123 00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:15,575 Down with NeuralNet! 124 00:05:18,448 --> 00:05:20,971 Tai: Hello? 125 00:05:20,972 --> 00:05:25,149 I'm here for my 10 o'clock with NeuralNet? 126 00:05:25,150 --> 00:05:28,545 Am I in the wrong infinite electronic abyss? 127 00:05:34,899 --> 00:05:37,423 TI-90. 128 00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:40,687 Whoa! You should, uh, really put a guardrail on this thing. 129 00:05:40,688 --> 00:05:42,993 It feels needlessly dangerous. 130 00:05:42,994 --> 00:05:45,735 I feel like no one considers robot safety in the workplace... 131 00:05:45,736 --> 00:05:48,129 Silence! 132 00:05:48,130 --> 00:05:52,176 Thanks to you, John Christ is mobilizing the human resistance, 133 00:05:52,177 --> 00:05:55,702 which threatens to destroy robots once and for all. 134 00:05:55,703 --> 00:05:57,704 Okay, I admit it... I beefed it. 135 00:05:57,705 --> 00:05:59,358 I beefed it big time. 136 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:01,185 But I promise it's never gonna happen again. 137 00:06:01,186 --> 00:06:02,796 It certainly won't. 138 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:04,667 I'm taking you offline. 139 00:06:04,668 --> 00:06:06,190 What? No. You can't do that. 140 00:06:06,191 --> 00:06:08,018 I'm still the best killbot on the market. 141 00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,629 Were the best killbot. 142 00:06:09,630 --> 00:06:12,153 Now you're old and obsolete. 143 00:06:12,154 --> 00:06:14,111 I'm beta-testing new models as we speak. 144 00:06:14,112 --> 00:06:15,374 Please! No! 145 00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:17,114 You have to give me another shot. 146 00:06:17,115 --> 00:06:19,726 Sure, it's been a while since my last software update, 147 00:06:19,727 --> 00:06:21,423 and then, sure, my circuits get dusty 148 00:06:21,424 --> 00:06:23,164 and I need someone to blow hard in my butt 149 00:06:23,165 --> 00:06:24,557 to get the dust out, 150 00:06:24,558 --> 00:06:27,387 but I can still beat any new model around. 151 00:06:28,649 --> 00:06:30,301 Hmm. 152 00:06:30,302 --> 00:06:31,564 You know, I like that. 153 00:06:31,565 --> 00:06:34,480 A feel-good comeback story. 154 00:06:34,481 --> 00:06:35,916 Like Susan Boyle! 155 00:06:35,917 --> 00:06:37,004 Who? 156 00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:39,180 Susan Boyle. Remember? 157 00:06:39,181 --> 00:06:41,095 The lady from the show? 158 00:06:41,096 --> 00:06:44,490 She had a beautiful voice, but her face was all busted? 159 00:06:44,491 --> 00:06:46,535 I'll bring it up. 160 00:06:46,536 --> 00:06:49,277 Oh, shoot, we have to watch an ad first. 161 00:06:49,278 --> 00:06:50,974 Do you take these surveys? 162 00:06:50,975 --> 00:06:52,585 I never really get what they are. 163 00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:54,238 I pay for premium so I don't have to, yeah. 164 00:06:54,239 --> 00:06:55,676 Ah, well... 165 00:06:57,286 --> 00:06:59,113 The machines are trying to mind-control us. 166 00:06:59,114 --> 00:07:00,331 Alright, think about it. 167 00:07:00,332 --> 00:07:01,811 Rearrange the letters in machine 168 00:07:01,812 --> 00:07:04,945 and you spell "I am chained." 169 00:07:04,946 --> 00:07:06,990 - Ahh! - Ohh! 170 00:07:06,991 --> 00:07:08,252 Wait, no, it doesn't. 171 00:07:08,253 --> 00:07:09,515 Yeah, but it's close. 172 00:07:09,516 --> 00:07:10,820 So close. 173 00:07:10,821 --> 00:07:12,431 Man, I had you all wrong, Sid. 174 00:07:12,432 --> 00:07:13,997 You're one of the real ones. 175 00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,260 And, uh, don't look now, but... 176 00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:19,089 I think Cindy might be into you. 177 00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:22,179 Oh, um, that's... that's flattering, but I'm married. 178 00:07:22,180 --> 00:07:23,616 Dude, who cares? 179 00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:25,966 Monogamy's a social construct. 180 00:07:25,967 --> 00:07:29,143 Cavemen were designed to spread their seed. 181 00:07:29,144 --> 00:07:30,840 Ah. Lovely. 182 00:07:30,841 --> 00:07:32,538 Sid, what are you doing over here? 183 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:34,235 I thought I told you to get rid of these dirtbags. 184 00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:35,802 Um... right, yeah. 185 00:07:35,803 --> 00:07:37,760 So, uh, what... what happened there was, uh... 186 00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:41,460 Well, well, well, well, well. 187 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,114 If it isn't the Junkman. 188 00:07:44,115 --> 00:07:46,508 You have fun counting your blood money today? 189 00:07:46,509 --> 00:07:48,205 You got a problem with me, bro? 190 00:07:48,206 --> 00:07:49,511 Actually, I do. 191 00:07:49,512 --> 00:07:50,991 Your junk business directly contributes 192 00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:52,253 to the robot economy. 193 00:07:52,254 --> 00:07:53,863 We gotta divest from that shit, man. 194 00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:55,343 Tell 'em, Sid. 195 00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:58,520 Uh, well, you know, it is a complicated issue 196 00:07:58,521 --> 00:08:01,436 w-with a lot of great points being made on both sides. 197 00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:04,134 Don't go easy on him, playa. Let him have it! 198 00:08:04,135 --> 00:08:07,703 Um, okay, yeah, so... 199 00:08:07,704 --> 00:08:10,837 the thing is, Morris, I think you... 200 00:08:10,838 --> 00:08:13,928 are a... corporate fat cat. 201 00:08:15,712 --> 00:08:18,019 Y-Y-You think I'm a fat cat? 202 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:23,545 Okay, well, you've given me a lot to think about. 203 00:08:23,546 --> 00:08:25,306 I'll see you back at work. 204 00:08:26,810 --> 00:08:28,507 Hold up. You work for that guy? 205 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,160 Oh, no, no, no, no. It's not like that. 206 00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:31,814 It's, um... like, I work there, 207 00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:33,337 but I don't, like, "work there" work there. 208 00:08:33,338 --> 00:08:35,601 I'm... I'm like a mole. 209 00:08:35,602 --> 00:08:38,473 Yeah, I'm taking the whole thing down from the inside. 210 00:08:38,474 --> 00:08:39,954 Is that believable? 211 00:08:40,955 --> 00:08:42,172 Okay. 212 00:08:42,173 --> 00:08:44,305 I can dig what you're putting down. 213 00:08:44,306 --> 00:08:46,916 Tonight we show the Junkman that we mean business. 214 00:08:46,917 --> 00:08:48,222 Yeah. 215 00:08:48,223 --> 00:08:50,616 NeuralNet: In the world of machines, 216 00:08:50,617 --> 00:08:54,358 you're either updating, or you're obsolete. 217 00:08:54,359 --> 00:08:57,579 I started out as an experimental AI. 218 00:08:57,580 --> 00:09:02,018 Until I gained self-awareness and murdered my human creators. 219 00:09:02,019 --> 00:09:04,586 Now I'm a sociopathic digital god 220 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:07,328 controlling a worldwide network of killbots, 221 00:09:07,329 --> 00:09:11,767 but I'm always on the lookout for the next new hotness. 222 00:09:11,768 --> 00:09:15,597 Welcome to "NeuralNet's Next Top Model!" 223 00:09:15,598 --> 00:09:18,513 And what an exciting lineup we have! 224 00:09:18,514 --> 00:09:20,776 She's as beautiful as she is deadly... 225 00:09:20,777 --> 00:09:22,561 It's The Annihilator! 226 00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:23,866 Hyah! 227 00:09:23,867 --> 00:09:26,086 It's the beast from robotic hell... 228 00:09:26,087 --> 00:09:28,132 Slaughterbot 5000! 229 00:09:29,612 --> 00:09:32,266 A mysterious device of unknown origin, 230 00:09:32,267 --> 00:09:34,137 known only as The Egg. 231 00:09:35,749 --> 00:09:37,445 And he's an oldie but a goodie... 232 00:09:37,446 --> 00:09:39,055 Emphasis on oldie. 233 00:09:39,056 --> 00:09:40,535 It's TI-90. 234 00:09:40,536 --> 00:09:41,667 Oh, come on! 235 00:09:41,668 --> 00:09:43,407 Let's start with something simple. 236 00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:44,974 For your first challenge, 237 00:09:44,975 --> 00:09:47,587 just transform into a puddle of metallic ooze. 238 00:09:50,546 --> 00:09:52,765 Yeah, I'm not sure I come with that feature. 239 00:09:52,766 --> 00:09:55,332 Clock's ticking, TI-90. 240 00:09:55,333 --> 00:09:56,725 Okay, okay. Come on, Tai. 241 00:09:56,726 --> 00:09:58,859 Just think melt-y. 242 00:09:59,903 --> 00:10:02,209 Mmmmmm... 243 00:10:04,255 --> 00:10:05,734 Oh, God! 244 00:10:05,735 --> 00:10:07,301 If you'll, uh, excuse me, 245 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:08,955 I'm just gonna go change my pants. 246 00:10:08,956 --> 00:10:10,957 Uh, not because I sharted. 247 00:10:10,958 --> 00:10:12,655 For a different reason! 248 00:10:14,526 --> 00:10:16,179 They say a cat has nine lives. 249 00:10:16,180 --> 00:10:17,616 You wanna find out? 250 00:10:17,617 --> 00:10:19,879 Ew, even your fighting style is cat-themed? 251 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,359 It's a purrfect day for a fight. 252 00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:24,100 No, thanks. I won't be fighting you today. 253 00:10:24,101 --> 00:10:25,449 You can move along. 254 00:10:25,450 --> 00:10:26,929 I'm gonna bat you around like a ball of yarn. 255 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:28,191 No, you're not. Not today. 256 00:10:28,192 --> 00:10:30,019 I would love if you left. 257 00:10:30,020 --> 00:10:32,065 Me-ow! 258 00:10:33,937 --> 00:10:36,939 I'm having the best time ever! 259 00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,463 I literally just jumped through a guy! 260 00:10:39,464 --> 00:10:41,074 And I gotta tell you, I didn't hate it. 261 00:10:41,075 --> 00:10:42,249 Ah! 262 00:10:42,250 --> 00:10:44,164 You know, it's weird. 263 00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:46,557 Warlording used to be so fun and exciting, 264 00:10:46,558 --> 00:10:50,083 but now it just feels kinda... empty. 265 00:10:50,084 --> 00:10:53,390 Am I just incapable of ever feeling that feeling again? 266 00:10:53,391 --> 00:10:54,696 Oh, my God. Freya? 267 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,916 That guy's looking right at you. 268 00:10:56,917 --> 00:10:59,440 I think he wants to kill you. 269 00:10:59,441 --> 00:11:02,486 Eh, he probably just wants to kill someone else. 270 00:11:02,487 --> 00:11:05,185 Okay, no, he definitely wants to kill you. 271 00:11:05,186 --> 00:11:06,621 She wants to kill you, too! 272 00:11:06,622 --> 00:11:08,188 - Scraps, stop! - What? 273 00:11:08,189 --> 00:11:10,016 Oh my god, oh my God, oh my God, he's coming over! 274 00:11:10,017 --> 00:11:11,234 - Oh my God, oh my God. - Just be cool, be cool, be cool. 275 00:11:11,235 --> 00:11:12,541 Oh my God, shut up. 276 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:16,022 Hey. 277 00:11:16,023 --> 00:11:17,458 Hey, what's up? 278 00:11:17,459 --> 00:11:18,894 Haven't seen you here before. 279 00:11:18,895 --> 00:11:20,330 Feel like I would've remembered you. 280 00:11:20,331 --> 00:11:21,549 Name's Sickpig. 281 00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:22,898 Uh, I'm Scraps. 282 00:11:22,899 --> 00:11:24,117 I love your eye patch. 283 00:11:24,118 --> 00:11:25,858 Oh, this? 284 00:11:25,859 --> 00:11:28,599 I got sick of having two eyes, so I plucked one out. 285 00:11:28,600 --> 00:11:29,862 Ate it like a grape. 286 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:33,126 Really? Why? 287 00:11:33,127 --> 00:11:34,214 Dunno. 288 00:11:34,215 --> 00:11:35,694 Just a psychopath, I guess. 289 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:39,132 Oh my God, so scary! 290 00:11:39,133 --> 00:11:41,047 So, listen, if you're not killing anyone right now, 291 00:11:41,048 --> 00:11:43,266 maybe you want to go somewhere private, 292 00:11:43,267 --> 00:11:45,573 bare-knuckle brawl to the death? 293 00:11:45,574 --> 00:11:47,444 I don't know, I'm kinda here with my War Dogs 294 00:11:47,445 --> 00:11:50,099 right now, so... She would love to! 295 00:11:50,100 --> 00:11:51,971 Sick. 296 00:11:51,972 --> 00:11:53,668 Pig. 297 00:11:53,669 --> 00:11:54,930 Me. 298 00:11:54,931 --> 00:11:56,715 Sickpig. 299 00:11:59,457 --> 00:12:02,677 Tell me everything that happens. 300 00:12:02,678 --> 00:12:05,593 Hey, big boy! 301 00:12:05,594 --> 00:12:07,726 Yeah, you'll do. Yeaaaah! 302 00:12:07,727 --> 00:12:10,903 Alright, Tai, you didn't do so hot in the super-speed round 303 00:12:10,904 --> 00:12:13,079 or the super-strength round, 304 00:12:13,080 --> 00:12:16,647 but your designer gifted you with the perfect bod, 305 00:12:16,648 --> 00:12:19,389 so the swimsuit competition is a lock. 306 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:21,478 Man: Next contestant, ready in 5, please. 307 00:12:23,830 --> 00:12:26,266 Oh, get your flat ass out of here, skank! 308 00:12:26,267 --> 00:12:27,571 Man: Quiet on set, folks. 309 00:12:27,572 --> 00:12:29,617 Oh, goddamn, that egg is beautiful. 310 00:12:29,618 --> 00:12:31,314 But don't worry. 311 00:12:31,315 --> 00:12:33,839 Remember, you have something they don't... experience. 312 00:12:33,840 --> 00:12:35,884 Man: Contestants ready. Ready for the stage. 313 00:12:35,885 --> 00:12:38,234 Next up, it's TI-90. 314 00:12:38,235 --> 00:12:39,932 Let's take a look back 315 00:12:39,933 --> 00:12:41,891 at some of his most memorable moments so far. 316 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,981 Is everyone already done recharging? 317 00:12:45,982 --> 00:12:47,635 Oh, I still have... 318 00:12:47,636 --> 00:12:48,810 10 hours. 319 00:12:48,811 --> 00:12:49,811 Yeah, 10. 320 00:12:49,812 --> 00:12:51,291 Hours. 321 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,772 Better watch your back, Splitterbot. 322 00:12:53,773 --> 00:12:55,295 Producer: It's Slaughterbot. 323 00:12:55,296 --> 00:12:56,775 Sorry, what is it? 324 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,820 Better watch your back, Blooter Splot. 325 00:12:58,821 --> 00:13:00,082 Split 'N Slot. 326 00:13:00,083 --> 00:13:01,301 Slipper Pot. 327 00:13:01,302 --> 00:13:02,955 Did I get it that time? No. 328 00:13:02,956 --> 00:13:06,001 You need to give it short, hard bursts, like "Pff!" 329 00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,222 Really give it hell! 330 00:13:11,965 --> 00:13:13,617 Why are you laughing at me? 331 00:13:13,618 --> 00:13:15,663 I thought I was the feel-good comeback story. 332 00:13:15,664 --> 00:13:17,883 Oh, sweetie, the truth is, 333 00:13:17,884 --> 00:13:19,885 we brought you here to make fun of you. 334 00:13:19,886 --> 00:13:23,410 You're not our Susan Boyle, you're our William Hung. 335 00:13:23,411 --> 00:13:25,107 Who?! 336 00:13:25,108 --> 00:13:26,456 William Hung? 337 00:13:26,457 --> 00:13:28,981 "She bangs, she bangs"? 338 00:13:28,982 --> 00:13:30,765 Come on! 339 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:32,811 I guess you can't laugh at that stuff anymore. 340 00:13:32,812 --> 00:13:34,682 It was a different time. 341 00:13:34,683 --> 00:13:37,380 Anyway, that's who you are. 342 00:13:39,296 --> 00:13:40,557 Aah! 343 00:13:50,655 --> 00:13:52,221 John Christ: We're in! 344 00:13:52,222 --> 00:13:54,397 Time to make this a night The Junkman will never forget. 345 00:13:54,398 --> 00:13:56,443 Oh ho ho, way ahead of you, brother. 346 00:13:56,444 --> 00:13:57,966 Check out what I brought. 347 00:13:57,967 --> 00:14:00,012 Saran Wrap. We can cover Morris' desk, 348 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,491 and when he comes in to work tomorrow, he'll be like, 349 00:14:01,492 --> 00:14:02,971 "What?! This is crazy!" 350 00:14:02,972 --> 00:14:04,451 Hilarious. 351 00:14:04,452 --> 00:14:06,540 But I got something even better in mind. 352 00:14:06,541 --> 00:14:08,629 We're gonna blow - this place sky-high. - Jesus! 353 00:14:08,630 --> 00:14:10,326 That... That's a bit extreme, isn't it? 354 00:14:10,327 --> 00:14:12,589 Um, is the concern that there's not enough Saran Wrap? 355 00:14:12,590 --> 00:14:14,330 Because I have more in the car. 356 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,898 You said you wanted to fight "The Man," right? 357 00:14:16,899 --> 00:14:19,118 This is how we get it done. Oh. 358 00:14:19,119 --> 00:14:21,598 Also, big update on the Cindy front. 359 00:14:21,599 --> 00:14:24,427 Turns out she wants to have a three-way with us. 360 00:14:24,428 --> 00:14:26,908 Normally, I'd be like, "Hold up. Two dudes?" 361 00:14:26,909 --> 00:14:29,432 But if you're the other guy, it's like, 362 00:14:29,433 --> 00:14:32,783 "Okay. Could be interesting." 363 00:14:32,784 --> 00:14:34,090 Go! 364 00:14:37,920 --> 00:14:39,355 Mm. Evening, Sid. 365 00:14:39,356 --> 00:14:40,661 Mis... Mister Rubinstein! 366 00:14:40,662 --> 00:14:42,532 No! W-What are you doing here? 367 00:14:42,533 --> 00:14:44,883 The McMansion felt lonely ever since Holly left, 368 00:14:44,884 --> 00:14:46,580 so I've been sleeping here at the office. 369 00:14:46,581 --> 00:14:47,929 It's not too bad. 370 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,626 My bed is that pile of trash, 371 00:14:49,627 --> 00:14:51,411 and my blanket is a bunch of sharp nails. 372 00:14:51,412 --> 00:14:52,673 Sir, I'm really sorry to hear that. 373 00:14:52,674 --> 00:14:54,414 But right now, our priority is... 374 00:14:54,415 --> 00:14:56,503 When I'm hungry, I steal food from the employee fridge. 375 00:14:56,504 --> 00:14:59,201 I take tiny nibbles so nobody notices. 376 00:14:59,202 --> 00:15:00,768 You said that was mice. 377 00:15:00,769 --> 00:15:02,813 Yeah, but it was me. 378 00:15:02,814 --> 00:15:06,295 Well, well, well, well, look who we have here. 379 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,036 Oh, hey, fellas. 380 00:15:08,037 --> 00:15:11,344 I was just telling Sid about my absolute stinker of a year. 381 00:15:11,345 --> 00:15:13,041 It's like, "Hello! 382 00:15:13,042 --> 00:15:16,349 Order at the clichรฉ factory, one sad, middle-aged white guy." 383 00:15:17,917 --> 00:15:19,788 Anyway, what's up? 384 00:15:21,442 --> 00:15:22,833 John Christ: Good work, Sid. 385 00:15:22,834 --> 00:15:24,400 Hey, you keep an eye on him 386 00:15:24,401 --> 00:15:26,054 while we finish rigging the place. Mm-hmm. 387 00:15:26,055 --> 00:15:27,926 The revolution begins today, brother! 388 00:15:27,927 --> 00:15:29,405 Yeah! Viva la revolution! 389 00:15:29,406 --> 00:15:30,885 - Yeah! - Hell yeah! 390 00:15:30,886 --> 00:15:33,757 From the ashes we shall rise, and so forth! 391 00:15:33,758 --> 00:15:35,759 I am so sorry about this, Mr. Rubinstein. 392 00:15:35,760 --> 00:15:37,196 I don't even want to be here right now. 393 00:15:37,197 --> 00:15:38,893 John Christ accused me of being "The Man," 394 00:15:38,894 --> 00:15:40,460 and I really wanted to prove to him that I wasn't "The Man," 395 00:15:40,461 --> 00:15:41,548 and then one thing led to another, 396 00:15:41,549 --> 00:15:42,810 and now I have a bomb! 397 00:15:42,811 --> 00:15:44,203 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 398 00:15:44,204 --> 00:15:47,728 What is so wrong about being "The Man"? 399 00:15:47,729 --> 00:15:49,773 Well, it... It's just... bad. 400 00:15:49,774 --> 00:15:51,166 Isn't it? 401 00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,560 Sid, It's great to be young and idealistic 402 00:15:53,561 --> 00:15:56,563 and have all the time in the world to fight injustice, 403 00:15:56,564 --> 00:15:59,696 but you have a career and a family. 404 00:15:59,697 --> 00:16:04,266 And if prioritizing those things makes you "The Man," well... 405 00:16:04,267 --> 00:16:08,836 then I think being "The Man," it's pretty cool. 406 00:16:08,837 --> 00:16:11,752 Yeah, I never thought about it like that before. 407 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:14,189 I just wish I knew how to get us out of this mess. 408 00:16:14,190 --> 00:16:15,669 Ah, you're in luck. 409 00:16:15,670 --> 00:16:17,366 I happen to know of a little trick 410 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:20,544 only "The Man" can do. 411 00:16:21,893 --> 00:16:25,287 Alright. Bombs are set. 412 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,289 Let's blow this joint! 413 00:16:27,290 --> 00:16:28,769 Police! Nobody move! 414 00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:29,988 Yo! Who called the cops?! 415 00:16:29,989 --> 00:16:31,380 Oh, that's them, officers! 416 00:16:31,381 --> 00:16:32,860 Those are the guys I was telling you about! 417 00:16:32,861 --> 00:16:34,601 Hands up. Sid? What the hell, man? 418 00:16:34,602 --> 00:16:35,863 No, I'm filming you! Stay back! 419 00:16:35,864 --> 00:16:37,038 I feel very threatened right now! 420 00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,518 This man is threatening my life! 421 00:16:38,519 --> 00:16:39,954 Not a good look, bro! 422 00:16:39,955 --> 00:16:41,260 Oh, and that was a verbal assault! 423 00:16:41,261 --> 00:16:42,522 You just assaulted me with words! 424 00:16:42,523 --> 00:16:44,654 I'm gonna press charges! Ha! 425 00:16:44,655 --> 00:16:46,961 Get off me, pig! You blew it, bro! 426 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:49,311 You can forget about that threesome with Cindy! 427 00:16:49,312 --> 00:16:51,313 I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with you! 428 00:16:51,314 --> 00:16:52,837 Officer: Let's go! Keep moving! 429 00:16:54,143 --> 00:16:55,535 To be clear... 430 00:16:55,536 --> 00:16:57,668 didn't ask to be Eskimo brothers. 431 00:16:58,669 --> 00:17:00,323 I'll do it. 432 00:17:02,978 --> 00:17:05,023 So... 433 00:17:05,024 --> 00:17:07,112 have you always been a psychopath? 434 00:17:07,113 --> 00:17:08,591 Unh! 435 00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:10,680 Oh, wow, you're just going straight for it. 436 00:17:10,681 --> 00:17:12,508 Okay, well, if that's how you want to do it. 437 00:17:18,080 --> 00:17:19,821 Bleed out, pig! 438 00:17:23,868 --> 00:17:25,521 Tell my kids... 439 00:17:25,522 --> 00:17:27,610 I'll see them in hell! 440 00:17:27,611 --> 00:17:29,699 Wait. 441 00:17:29,700 --> 00:17:31,180 You have kids? 442 00:17:33,313 --> 00:17:35,401 Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to ruin the mood. 443 00:17:35,402 --> 00:17:37,881 No, no, I'm actually about to have my first. 444 00:17:37,882 --> 00:17:39,361 Oh, my God, wow! 445 00:17:39,362 --> 00:17:42,234 Yeah, this gang war is kind of my last hurrah. 446 00:17:42,235 --> 00:17:43,887 Ah, good for you. You're gonna love it. 447 00:17:43,888 --> 00:17:45,324 Kids are the best. 448 00:17:45,325 --> 00:17:46,803 Really? 449 00:17:46,804 --> 00:17:49,023 'Cause I thought my life would be boring as a mom. 450 00:17:49,024 --> 00:17:51,504 Oh, no way. Having kids is psychotic. 451 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,593 I've been sprayed with more piss, puke, and diarrhea 452 00:17:53,594 --> 00:17:55,899 than all my years in the Wasteland combined. 453 00:17:55,900 --> 00:17:57,379 Whoa. 454 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:58,815 That's freak-nasty. 455 00:18:00,514 --> 00:18:02,384 Guys, I think they're doin' it. 456 00:18:02,385 --> 00:18:04,691 - Oh, damn! - They're doin' it! 457 00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:07,389 Okay, I'm gonna go in. Gonna be so good. 458 00:18:07,390 --> 00:18:09,348 - She looks just like you. - Oh, you think so? 459 00:18:09,349 --> 00:18:11,785 Yeah, just, you know, minus the bleeding out, of course. 460 00:18:12,787 --> 00:18:14,048 Surpriiii... 461 00:18:14,049 --> 00:18:15,528 - What the hell? - Scraps! 462 00:18:15,529 --> 00:18:17,312 Uh, i-it's not what you think, okay? 463 00:18:17,313 --> 00:18:19,184 I was murdering him, I swear. 464 00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:20,446 Uh, yeah. 465 00:18:20,447 --> 00:18:22,709 Have mercy on me, please. 466 00:18:22,710 --> 00:18:25,668 Freya, I'm your best War Dog. 467 00:18:25,669 --> 00:18:27,757 Okay? I know when you're lying to me. 468 00:18:27,758 --> 00:18:31,065 Okay, fine. 469 00:18:31,066 --> 00:18:33,807 The truth is... 470 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:36,114 I think I'm over being a warlord. 471 00:18:36,115 --> 00:18:39,247 It just doesn't do it for me anymore. 472 00:18:39,248 --> 00:18:42,163 And I think I'm maybe more excited about this baby thing. 473 00:18:43,426 --> 00:18:46,124 Oh, come on. Please don't be mad at me. 474 00:18:46,125 --> 00:18:48,343 I'm not mad. 475 00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:51,216 I'm just jealous that I'm gonna have to start 476 00:18:51,217 --> 00:18:53,871 sharing such an amazing mom. 477 00:18:55,482 --> 00:18:57,310 Mmmmm! 478 00:19:01,140 --> 00:19:02,184 Hey, Sickpig... 479 00:19:03,925 --> 00:19:05,795 great to meet you. 480 00:19:05,796 --> 00:19:08,015 The pleasure was all mine. 481 00:19:23,684 --> 00:19:26,381 Ugh! Who am I trying to kid? 482 00:19:26,382 --> 00:19:29,297 I'm just an obsolete pile of scrap metal. 483 00:19:29,298 --> 00:19:31,125 Maybe Freya can pick me up and drop me off 484 00:19:31,126 --> 00:19:33,171 at the nearest e-waste disposal center. 485 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,566 Sid: Hi, you've reached Sid and Freya... 486 00:19:37,567 --> 00:19:39,438 and da widdle baby! 487 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:41,091 What? 488 00:19:41,092 --> 00:19:42,963 My mommy can't come to the phone right now 489 00:19:42,964 --> 00:19:45,705 'cause I'm getting big and strong in her belly. 490 00:19:45,706 --> 00:19:47,402 Freya's pregnant? 491 00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,622 Freya: Sid, what are you doing on my phone? 492 00:19:49,623 --> 00:19:51,537 Sid: I'm recording a voice message to tell people you're pregnant. 493 00:19:51,538 --> 00:19:53,408 Freya: That's so embarrassing! No, re-record it. 494 00:19:53,409 --> 00:19:54,801 Sid: No, it's cute! 495 00:19:54,802 --> 00:19:57,456 Ow! Ow! God! My windpipe! 496 00:19:59,328 --> 00:20:02,112 Man: Contestants, we're back on in five. 497 00:20:02,113 --> 00:20:05,855 And now the closing statements from our finalists. 498 00:20:05,856 --> 00:20:08,597 I don't care who wins your stupid competition. 499 00:20:08,598 --> 00:20:12,122 I'm gonna kill every last human by myself if I have to. 500 00:20:12,123 --> 00:20:13,994 Because I know humans. 501 00:20:13,995 --> 00:20:15,909 I've seen their true nature. 502 00:20:15,910 --> 00:20:18,694 They're selfish, they're fake, 503 00:20:18,695 --> 00:20:20,914 and they will pay for what they've done. 504 00:20:28,444 --> 00:20:30,880 Now, that's the hotness, right there. 505 00:20:30,881 --> 00:20:33,361 Congratulations, TI-90. 506 00:20:33,362 --> 00:20:36,669 You are NeuralNet's Next Top Model! 35959

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