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1
00:00:05,502 --> 00:00:07,970
I didn't think we could top
last Halloween, but we did it.
2
00:00:08,038 --> 00:00:09,972
Are we gonna see
any Jackson 5s tonight? Yep.
3
00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,741
Are we gonna see any
marionettes? Most def.
4
00:00:11,808 --> 00:00:13,042
Are we gonna see mos defs?
5
00:00:13,109 --> 00:00:14,544
I wouldn't know it
if we saw it.
6
00:00:14,611 --> 00:00:19,748
But I guarantee we are gonna be
the only marionette Jackson 5.
7
00:00:19,815 --> 00:00:22,450
- Yes!
- Wait. Which Jackson 5 am I again?
8
00:00:22,518 --> 00:00:24,252
- You're Michael.
- ♪ Hoo-hoo ♪
9
00:00:24,319 --> 00:00:25,486
- Jane is Jackie.
- Mm-hmm.
10
00:00:25,555 --> 00:00:26,721
- Penny is Tito.
- Little T!
11
00:00:26,789 --> 00:00:27,789
Max is Marlon.
12
00:00:27,857 --> 00:00:28,890
♪ ah-ba-doh-bo-bo ♪
13
00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:31,159
I'm Joe, and Dave is La Toya.
14
00:00:31,226 --> 00:00:32,961
Why do I always
have to be La Toya?
15
00:00:33,029 --> 00:00:34,062
Shut up, La Toya!
16
00:00:34,129 --> 00:00:35,096
- No!
- Smack it!
17
00:00:35,164 --> 00:00:36,196
La Toya should always shut up!
18
00:00:36,264 --> 00:00:38,365
- She deserves it.
- All right, here we go.
19
00:00:38,433 --> 00:00:40,333
Halloween train all aboard!
20
00:00:40,401 --> 00:00:42,202
Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga,
21
00:00:42,270 --> 00:00:43,437
chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga,
22
00:00:43,504 --> 00:00:45,039
chugga-chugga,
chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga...
23
00:00:45,106 --> 00:00:46,874
Ooh. Ow!
24
00:00:46,942 --> 00:00:48,042
Pull it!
25
00:00:48,109 --> 00:00:49,777
- All right.
- Kick back, kick back.
26
00:00:49,844 --> 00:00:50,844
- Penny!
- Pull it back.
27
00:00:50,912 --> 00:00:52,378
Collateral damage.
28
00:00:52,446 --> 00:00:54,047
- We gotta go back.
- Why are we turning?
29
00:00:54,114 --> 00:00:55,114
- I got confused.
- Aah!
30
00:00:55,182 --> 00:00:57,050
- Oh!
- There we go.
31
00:00:59,252 --> 00:01:00,787
Halloween blows.
32
00:01:00,854 --> 00:01:02,288
Drink.
33
00:01:02,355 --> 00:01:04,958
Whoa! Hey, hold on, guys.
34
00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:09,194
Good one, La Toya!
35
00:01:09,261 --> 00:01:10,963
Why you so stupid, huh?
36
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,197
You're so dumb.
37
00:01:12,264 --> 00:01:13,599
You a dumbass bitch, La Toya.
38
00:01:15,668 --> 00:01:16,902
Now go up quick, up quick.
Up top!
39
00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:20,906
- Oh, drink, drink, drink!
- Aah!
40
00:01:20,974 --> 00:01:22,841
It's all on La Toya's beard!
41
00:01:22,909 --> 00:01:28,746
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
42
00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,352
- As the public face of our little
gang here... - Self-appointed.
43
00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:38,522
I would like to thank Jane
and congratulate her
44
00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:40,957
on another amazing
Saturday brunch.
45
00:01:41,025 --> 00:01:42,125
- Mm.
- Aw.
46
00:01:42,192 --> 00:01:43,593
You go, girl!
47
00:01:43,661 --> 00:01:46,429
You go to hell, girl!
48
00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:47,964
There's no rosemary sun-dried
chicken apple pesto
49
00:01:48,032 --> 00:01:51,267
in that sausage!
50
00:01:51,335 --> 00:01:53,336
Those aren't
cage-free huevos!
51
00:01:53,403 --> 00:01:55,804
No.
52
00:01:55,872 --> 00:01:57,973
That is not
fresh-squeezed juice.
53
00:01:58,041 --> 00:01:59,775
That is from concentrate.
54
00:01:59,843 --> 00:02:01,710
Concentrate!
55
00:02:01,778 --> 00:02:03,946
I'm trying, but I don't know
what you're talking about.
56
00:02:04,014 --> 00:02:05,580
Well, since Brad
is not working,
57
00:02:05,649 --> 00:02:07,049
we've had to cut back
a little bit.
58
00:02:07,117 --> 00:02:10,452
We were spending 5 grand a month
on "of the month" clubs.
59
00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:11,819
How much could
you really spend on--
60
00:02:11,887 --> 00:02:14,689
Tea of the month, cigar,
beer, soap, month.
61
00:02:14,757 --> 00:02:16,257
- Month of the month?
- Yeah.
62
00:02:16,324 --> 00:02:18,359
August was March.
63
00:02:18,426 --> 00:02:20,061
I miss "time of the month" club
the most.
64
00:02:20,129 --> 00:02:22,296
Don't worry. It's not what
you think. It's a clock
65
00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:24,132
that tells you
when your period's coming.
66
00:02:24,199 --> 00:02:27,201
- Yes. - That's a great idea.
Well, big news out of this corner.
67
00:02:27,269 --> 00:02:28,635
These two are gonna meet
with a real estate agent
68
00:02:28,703 --> 00:02:30,170
and look at apartments today.
69
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:33,040
Stop! Before you start,
just stop right in your tracks.
70
00:02:33,107 --> 00:02:34,675
We know what
you're thinking, okay?
71
00:02:34,742 --> 00:02:36,609
That we're moving too fast,
but we can't go backwards.
72
00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,045
We just can't.
73
00:02:38,112 --> 00:02:39,179
Yeah, Jane, you're probably
like...
74
00:02:41,215 --> 00:02:42,849
"Bad idea. I'm gonna do
my kegel exercises,"
75
00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:44,283
and, Penny,
you're probably like...
76
00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,919
"OMG.
This is so not amah-zing."
77
00:02:46,987 --> 00:02:48,620
Yeah, and Max is all, like...
78
00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:51,891
"You guys are
so stupid and so not fierce."
79
00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:54,393
- And then Brad-- he's like...
- "Aw, hell, no!
80
00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:56,228
You two whiteys
are moving in together?
81
00:02:56,296 --> 00:02:58,030
Jive-ass turkeys!"
82
00:02:58,098 --> 00:03:00,465
Don't even say it like that.
Wait.
83
00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:01,700
Al, you are so offensive,
84
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,569
- but I'm gonna miss you
as my roommate. - Ooh!
85
00:03:03,636 --> 00:03:05,737
Dave! I am gonna miss you...
86
00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:08,207
paying all our rent.
I mean, half the rent.
87
00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:10,576
I mean, no one's getting
scammed by anybody.
88
00:03:10,643 --> 00:03:12,844
Welp, I am gonna go.
89
00:03:12,912 --> 00:03:16,181
Wait. I thought we were
hanging out today.
90
00:03:16,248 --> 00:03:19,149
Um, we just did.
Did you wanna do more?
91
00:03:19,218 --> 00:03:20,685
Wait.
92
00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:24,154
The not looking me in the eyes,
the nervous tick in your boob...
93
00:03:24,223 --> 00:03:26,224
- What?
- Wow.
94
00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:27,758
- Did it right there. Look at those things.
- You're jumping like Kris Kross.
95
00:03:27,826 --> 00:03:29,827
- Bouncin'.
- Are you making a major purchase today?
96
00:03:29,894 --> 00:03:31,895
- No. - Because you know that
I am the closer of the group,
97
00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:33,697
and I will get the best deal
and more.
98
00:03:33,764 --> 00:03:36,233
Remember when I took Max
to get a candy bar?
99
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,703
This thing's filled
with 40 pounds of nerds!
100
00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:41,471
Still can't get
that mother open.
101
00:03:43,441 --> 00:03:44,274
D-die!
102
00:03:45,843 --> 00:03:47,009
Aah!
103
00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:54,116
Die!
104
00:03:54,183 --> 00:03:55,317
Hang on! Hang on!
105
00:03:59,889 --> 00:04:02,824
Open...
106
00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:04,525
Well, farewell.
107
00:04:04,593 --> 00:04:07,094
I am not purchasing
anything of significance.
108
00:04:07,162 --> 00:04:09,364
Good day, lifelong friends.
109
00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:17,272
CCH Pounder!
110
00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:19,340
I know you're buying something
big, so out with it, vato.
111
00:04:19,408 --> 00:04:21,608
Okay, fine.
112
00:04:21,676 --> 00:04:24,043
I-I'm buying a new car,
and I didn't want to tell you,
113
00:04:24,111 --> 00:04:26,246
because I-I knew you'd want
to come along.
114
00:04:26,314 --> 00:04:27,881
Uh, doy.
Of course I want to come.
115
00:04:27,948 --> 00:04:29,316
I'm really good at buying cars.
116
00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:30,817
I know, which is why
I knew if you came,
117
00:04:30,885 --> 00:04:32,552
you would just, like,
take the whole thing over,
118
00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,454
and I really want to do this
by myself.
119
00:04:34,522 --> 00:04:36,389
Look, you're my friend.
120
00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:38,123
Okay, I love you.
I just want to help.
121
00:04:38,191 --> 00:04:39,592
So bring me along,
122
00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:41,927
you know, just as,
like, a-a backup.
123
00:04:41,995 --> 00:04:45,331
Okay, fine, but I totally know
which one I'm gonna get,
124
00:04:45,399 --> 00:04:47,433
and I have all the info
here in my purse.
125
00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:49,168
Man alive!
Are you a witch?
126
00:04:49,235 --> 00:04:50,503
Huh.
127
00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:01,979
What?! No!
128
00:05:02,047 --> 00:05:03,548
Crap. Damn it!
129
00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:05,450
Hey.
130
00:05:05,518 --> 00:05:07,051
Black best friend-o,
what's going on?
131
00:05:07,119 --> 00:05:08,885
Why so glum?
132
00:05:08,953 --> 00:05:10,387
It's Saturday,
133
00:05:10,455 --> 00:05:11,888
and I used to look forward
to my usual satty D's,
134
00:05:11,956 --> 00:05:14,558
but now I can't afford
to do any of my normal routine.
135
00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,293
Well, BBF,
why don't you tell me
136
00:05:16,361 --> 00:05:17,761
what you used to do
on your Saturdays?
137
00:05:17,829 --> 00:05:20,230
Well, GFF...
138
00:05:20,298 --> 00:05:21,332
Gay fat friend.
139
00:05:21,399 --> 00:05:22,800
Oh.
140
00:05:22,867 --> 00:05:25,368
I start out with lunch, then I
do a little clothes shopping,
141
00:05:25,436 --> 00:05:27,069
work out with my trainer,
142
00:05:27,137 --> 00:05:29,205
and then end the day with
a steam. The perfect sabado.
143
00:05:29,272 --> 00:05:30,707
Dude, you know what?
144
00:05:30,774 --> 00:05:33,042
We could do that all
for no money at all.
145
00:05:33,109 --> 00:05:36,479
Welcome to Maxworld,
TM, circle-R.
146
00:05:36,547 --> 00:05:39,048
Really? Wait. You trademarked
and registered Maxworld?
147
00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:42,718
It's kind of a long,
drawn-out, complicated story,
148
00:05:42,785 --> 00:05:44,185
with a bunch
of different parts.
149
00:05:44,253 --> 00:05:46,788
- Basically, I didn't. Let's go.
- Ah.
150
00:05:46,856 --> 00:05:48,122
Mwah!
151
00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:50,559
Mm. This is it.
152
00:05:50,626 --> 00:05:52,394
It's exactly
what I've always wanted!
153
00:05:52,462 --> 00:05:54,329
Let's buy this baby!
154
00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:57,898
Hold on. Let's not start
bottom-frenching just yet.
155
00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,900
Buying a car is like
going to war--
156
00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:05,038
a very small war inside
of a car dealership.
157
00:06:05,106 --> 00:06:07,107
There's gonna be casualties.
158
00:06:07,175 --> 00:06:08,576
Probably you.
159
00:06:08,643 --> 00:06:11,044
A little friendly fire.
160
00:06:11,112 --> 00:06:12,679
Oh! Yes, okay.
161
00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,813
Who...
162
00:06:13,881 --> 00:06:15,081
are...
163
00:06:15,148 --> 00:06:16,282
you?
164
00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:17,584
Oh, I am Guy.
165
00:06:17,651 --> 00:06:19,819
Welcome to the Car Czar.
We know what cars are.
166
00:06:19,887 --> 00:06:20,987
Stop it!
167
00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:23,823
Penny, what are you up to?
168
00:06:23,891 --> 00:06:25,625
Oh, I'm writing him a check
for the car.
169
00:06:25,693 --> 00:06:27,093
It says the price right here
on this little sticker.
170
00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,261
Boop. Boop.
171
00:06:28,328 --> 00:06:29,895
Okay.
172
00:06:29,962 --> 00:06:32,030
You are never supposed to pay
that price.
173
00:06:32,098 --> 00:06:33,399
Oh, right.
174
00:06:33,466 --> 00:06:35,233
How much do you tip on a car?
15%?
175
00:06:36,503 --> 00:06:38,504
20%?
176
00:06:38,571 --> 00:06:39,772
20%. Okay.
177
00:06:40,907 --> 00:06:43,642
♪ Hello! ♪
178
00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:47,712
Hi. I'm Suzanne
Thomson-Perez-Kline-Jensen.
179
00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,113
- Hi.
- Ow.
180
00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:50,782
Are we excited?
181
00:06:50,849 --> 00:06:52,417
We are gonna find
you two knuffle bunnies
182
00:06:52,484 --> 00:06:53,951
an apartment today.
183
00:06:54,019 --> 00:06:55,753
So what do you think, huh?
184
00:06:55,821 --> 00:06:58,589
Two beds, two baths, too great
a deal for you to pass up.
185
00:06:58,657 --> 00:07:00,758
Yep, I did it.
186
00:07:00,826 --> 00:07:04,228
Well, the two of us think
it's too-riffic.
187
00:07:05,797 --> 00:07:07,431
Yeah, I didn't do it.
188
00:07:07,498 --> 00:07:09,666
Well, what he's trying
to say is we like it.
189
00:07:09,734 --> 00:07:11,568
News flash--
that's great news.
190
00:07:11,636 --> 00:07:13,270
I have the paperwork here.
191
00:07:13,338 --> 00:07:14,939
All I need
for you guys to do is sign it,
192
00:07:15,006 --> 00:07:17,540
and you kids will be locked
into a 2-year lease.
193
00:07:20,044 --> 00:07:21,144
Is two years a problem?
194
00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:23,313
Uh...
195
00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:24,814
Uh...
196
00:07:24,881 --> 00:07:26,449
Yeah.
197
00:07:26,516 --> 00:07:28,418
- Yeah.
- No, two years is too short.
198
00:07:28,485 --> 00:07:29,953
Why don't we make it
a 10-year lease?
199
00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:31,787
- Or 20 or 40.
- Okay.
200
00:07:31,855 --> 00:07:33,455
Let's die in this bitch.
201
00:07:33,522 --> 00:07:37,525
Although this particular bitch
does have some issues.
202
00:07:37,593 --> 00:07:38,961
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
203
00:07:39,028 --> 00:07:40,695
- yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Uh, yeah.
204
00:07:40,763 --> 00:07:43,531
- Hella issues. Something's wrong.
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
205
00:07:43,599 --> 00:07:45,567
- It's a-- it's a thing.
- Mm.
206
00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,802
- A thing?
- It's a grande thing. Shame on you.
207
00:07:47,870 --> 00:07:49,838
- Right.
- Okay. Okay.
208
00:07:49,905 --> 00:07:52,239
- It's a-- it's a m-m-m-- it's sort
of a me-- me. - It's a m-m--
209
00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:54,375
- It's a shi-- shi...
- Some shi-- shia.
210
00:07:54,443 --> 00:07:55,543
- Shia!
- Shia labeouf-y!
211
00:07:55,611 --> 00:07:56,878
It's too shia labeouf-y.
212
00:07:56,946 --> 00:07:58,044
Too shia labeouf-y.
213
00:07:58,112 --> 00:07:59,446
Okay.
214
00:07:59,514 --> 00:08:00,881
I get it.
215
00:08:00,949 --> 00:08:02,649
I guess, uh, uh,
that the fireplace--
216
00:08:02,717 --> 00:08:04,384
the fireplace is too labeouf-y.
217
00:08:04,452 --> 00:08:07,554
Okay, so we are forging on.
218
00:08:07,622 --> 00:08:09,356
I will find you
the perfect place,
219
00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,658
or my name is not Suzanne
Thomson-Perez-Kline-Jensen.
220
00:08:11,726 --> 00:08:14,259
Gotta ask.
Are those three hyphens?
221
00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,528
Four, actually.
222
00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,497
Uh, Thom-Sun-- two names.
223
00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,966
I was married to a Korean guy
for a hot minute. Yeah.
224
00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,301
His hobby was smoking indoors.
225
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,235
- Hmm.
- What?
226
00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,504
Okay! Let's move on!
227
00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:27,106
Ready. Okay.
228
00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,908
I don't know, Max.
I don't think we should be here.
229
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,676
Dude, these drunks
know how to do it,
230
00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,344
plus everyone loved my speech.
231
00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:36,214
Thanks for sharing that story
about your dad and the ice tray.
232
00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:38,349
No. Thank you, man.
233
00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,552
Every day's a gift. Mm-hmm.
234
00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,554
I just wish this coffee
was a beer, huh?
235
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:43,788
Hmm.
236
00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,723
Yeah.
237
00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:47,391
Dude, I don't even want
any of this stuff.
238
00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:49,359
I asked for a healthy lunch.
239
00:08:49,427 --> 00:08:52,396
Okay. This one was for me.
You're next.
240
00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:58,368
Thanks for sharing that story
about your dad and the ice tray.
241
00:08:58,436 --> 00:08:59,436
Every day's a gift.
242
00:08:59,504 --> 00:09:00,704
Yeah.
243
00:09:00,772 --> 00:09:02,071
Just wish this coffee
was a pizza, huh?
244
00:09:02,139 --> 00:09:05,207
Hmm. Yeah.
245
00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:08,210
Should we do one more? Yeah.
Yeah. Let's do one more.
246
00:09:11,815 --> 00:09:13,750
Thanks for sharing that story
about your dad and the ice tray.
247
00:09:13,817 --> 00:09:17,653
Just wish this coffee
was a vagina, am I right?
248
00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,455
Penny, this is about
more than just a car.
249
00:09:20,523 --> 00:09:22,323
Okay?
This is about your life.
250
00:09:22,391 --> 00:09:24,259
You control your own destiny,
251
00:09:24,326 --> 00:09:26,628
like Katniss Everdeen
in The Hunger Games.
252
00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,430
Oh, my God. I love those books.
You read them, too?
253
00:09:28,497 --> 00:09:30,532
No, that stuff's for dorks,
but I knew it'd get you excited.
254
00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,533
Oh.
255
00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:34,735
Okay. It is time for...
256
00:09:34,803 --> 00:09:36,003
the walkout.
257
00:09:36,071 --> 00:09:37,237
The walkout?
258
00:09:37,305 --> 00:09:38,505
When guy comes over,
259
00:09:38,574 --> 00:09:40,074
I want you to look him
right in the eye,
260
00:09:40,141 --> 00:09:43,077
and I want you to say to him,
"what's your best price?"
261
00:09:43,144 --> 00:09:44,745
And when he gives it to you,
262
00:09:44,813 --> 00:09:48,115
I want you to say,
"no, thank you,"
263
00:09:48,183 --> 00:09:52,251
and then I want you
to just calmly walk out.
264
00:09:52,319 --> 00:09:53,386
Can you do that?
265
00:09:53,454 --> 00:09:56,056
Yes. Yes, I can.
266
00:09:56,123 --> 00:09:58,825
So, ladies.
267
00:09:58,893 --> 00:10:01,027
What is your best price?
268
00:10:01,095 --> 00:10:02,696
Did you want the 2-door
or the 4-door--
269
00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:04,430
No, thank you!
270
00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:09,034
I'm okay!
271
00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:12,471
We're not paying for that.
272
00:10:19,087 --> 00:10:20,354
This place has
all the things you want
273
00:10:20,421 --> 00:10:22,623
that the last five places
didn't have--
274
00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,258
skylights, gym,
275
00:10:24,325 --> 00:10:27,527
close to a hardware store,
but far from a software store.
276
00:10:27,595 --> 00:10:30,029
This chandelier's gonna make it
tough for chicken fights.
277
00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,330
Do you guys have a lot
of chicken fights?
278
00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,866
Enough that
it's a real concern.
279
00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,234
Yeah. Ready?
280
00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,334
Whoo!
281
00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,736
You know what?
282
00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,005
You know what?
This is-- this is my fault.
283
00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:41,274
I never asked you guys
about yourselves.
284
00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,876
How can I be expected
to find you the perfect place
285
00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,944
if I don't know your story?
286
00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:48,680
Well, Alex and I have known
each other for a long time.
287
00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,816
I mean, there is quite
the history there.
288
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:53,318
- A lot of ups and downs. - Yeah, left him
at the altar for a guy in rollerblades.
289
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,953
Oh! That one stung!
290
00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,156
- Sorry.
- But not to worry, Suzanne.
291
00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:00,192
I did a lot of rebound
between the sheets-ing.
292
00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,493
Sluts.
293
00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,594
- And then, one magical night...
- Oh.
294
00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,329
We rekindled our fire
295
00:11:05,397 --> 00:11:07,799
in the back of
my award-winning food truck.
296
00:11:07,866 --> 00:11:13,070
Well, that certainly is
a, uh, unique story.
297
00:11:13,138 --> 00:11:15,273
Um, I can understand
why you're--
298
00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,275
why you're hesitant
choosing your apartment.
299
00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:18,474
- Hesitant?
- Hesitant?
300
00:11:18,542 --> 00:11:19,876
- Hesitant?- Hesitant?
301
00:11:19,944 --> 00:11:21,511
- Hesitant?
- Hesitant-- is that even a word?
302
00:11:21,578 --> 00:11:23,814
- Yes, it is.
- It is?
303
00:11:23,881 --> 00:11:24,815
- No. It is.
- Oh.
304
00:11:24,882 --> 00:11:26,183
We just want to make sure
305
00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,750
that the apartment we find
is perfect.
306
00:11:27,819 --> 00:11:29,052
Me, too.
307
00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,720
Okay, now before we go,
308
00:11:30,788 --> 00:11:34,489
are you sure this place
won't work for you?
309
00:11:34,557 --> 00:11:36,058
Well...
310
00:11:36,126 --> 00:11:37,592
It could work.
311
00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,062
Yeah, I mean, it is charming
as hell. Does it have wi-fi?
312
00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:41,463
Yes. Yes, of course.
313
00:11:41,531 --> 00:11:43,699
- Ooh. No bueno.
- Ooh!
314
00:11:43,766 --> 00:11:45,034
No. No. No. No.
315
00:11:45,101 --> 00:11:46,768
We're old-school.
We like dial-up.
316
00:11:46,837 --> 00:11:48,503
Mm-hmm. Oh, babe,
do your impression.
317
00:11:48,571 --> 00:11:49,705
- Really? Okay.
- Yeah. Yeah.
318
00:11:51,173 --> 00:11:52,240
Bom-- ee--
319
00:11:52,308 --> 00:11:54,242
bom-- ee-bom.
320
00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,077
Here comes the connection.
321
00:11:56,145 --> 00:11:57,846
You've got mail!
322
00:12:02,251 --> 00:12:03,718
Thanks for signing up
for our cell phone
323
00:12:03,785 --> 00:12:06,720
and credit card combo plan,
Mr. Kerkovich and Mr. Rose,
324
00:12:06,787 --> 00:12:09,156
at our competitive
38% interest rate.
325
00:12:09,224 --> 00:12:10,490
- Sweet.
- Not a good rate.
326
00:12:10,558 --> 00:12:11,892
And that, my friend,
327
00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,760
is how you go clothes shopping
in Maxworld.
328
00:12:13,828 --> 00:12:14,995
This is fun, man.
329
00:12:15,063 --> 00:12:17,197
And these hats are cool.
330
00:12:17,265 --> 00:12:18,298
Ah.
331
00:12:18,366 --> 00:12:19,967
Nope. Nope.
332
00:12:20,034 --> 00:12:22,634
Nope. Nope. White.
333
00:12:23,937 --> 00:12:25,604
So what's next
on your saba-do list?
334
00:12:25,672 --> 00:12:27,139
Uh, right about now,
335
00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:29,141
I'd meet up with my trainer
Gunther and go for a run.
336
00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:31,077
Nobody motivates me
like that guy.
337
00:12:31,144 --> 00:12:32,044
Nobody, huh?
338
00:12:32,112 --> 00:12:33,479
Nobody.
339
00:12:33,546 --> 00:12:36,215
Well, I think
that's Child's Play 2...
340
00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:37,616
When nature calls.
341
00:12:38,885 --> 00:12:41,719
Excuse me, big country.
342
00:12:41,787 --> 00:12:43,755
Hi. Could you tell me
how to get to the YMCA?
343
00:12:43,822 --> 00:12:45,390
- Yeah, you go right down that street--
- Shut up!
344
00:12:45,457 --> 00:12:46,591
Shut up!
345
00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,394
He told me to do it!
346
00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:50,328
I ain't running from no one.
347
00:12:50,396 --> 00:12:51,429
Aah!
348
00:12:51,497 --> 00:12:53,831
Aah!
349
00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,699
Aah!
350
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,635
Okay, I think...
351
00:12:58,703 --> 00:13:01,671
I have all the options
that you want here.
352
00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,441
Should be all good. Let me
just run it by the Car Czar.
353
00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:06,010
He knows what cars are.
354
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,778
Yeah, you do that, chooch.
355
00:13:07,845 --> 00:13:11,180
You go run it
by the Car Czar. Oh.
356
00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,348
There is no Car Czar.
357
00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:15,451
No Car Czar?
Then who knows what cars are?
358
00:13:15,519 --> 00:13:16,819
Oh, my gullible, chesty friend,
359
00:13:16,887 --> 00:13:18,721
you better buckle up,
'cause this is
360
00:13:18,789 --> 00:13:20,623
when they make us wait for hours
and assume you will take
361
00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:22,392
any price
when they finally come back,
362
00:13:22,459 --> 00:13:24,193
but we're not gonna do that.
363
00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,929
We're not?
364
00:13:25,996 --> 00:13:27,396
No. We're gonna be ready
for all their little tricks.
365
00:13:27,464 --> 00:13:29,565
Watch. They're gonna turn
the air conditioning off
366
00:13:29,633 --> 00:13:32,635
in three...
two...
367
00:13:35,238 --> 00:13:36,806
But that's just a coincidence.
368
00:13:36,873 --> 00:13:37,940
Sure.
369
00:13:38,007 --> 00:13:39,642
Now someone's gonna come in
370
00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:41,510
and offer us
a pathetic amount of water.
371
00:13:41,578 --> 00:13:46,314
Sorry. This is all we have.
372
00:13:46,381 --> 00:13:48,182
Now...
373
00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,484
you're gonna sneeze.
374
00:13:49,552 --> 00:13:51,018
You're a warlock.
375
00:13:51,086 --> 00:13:53,321
Must... be... strong,
376
00:13:53,388 --> 00:13:55,990
like Hermione
in the Harry Potter books.
377
00:13:56,058 --> 00:13:57,625
- You read those?
- Dorks.
378
00:13:57,693 --> 00:14:00,894
Whatever. If they don't match
my price, I'm still gonna buy.
379
00:14:00,962 --> 00:14:03,096
S--
380
00:14:03,164 --> 00:14:05,231
they're listening.
381
00:14:09,804 --> 00:14:12,272
♪ Oh, oh ♪
382
00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:13,807
Hmm. Hmm.
383
00:14:13,875 --> 00:14:16,008
- Hmm.
- Hmm.
384
00:14:19,913 --> 00:14:21,046
Aah!
385
00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:22,949
♪ When I had you to myself ♪
386
00:14:23,016 --> 00:14:25,084
♪ I didn't want you around ♪
387
00:14:25,151 --> 00:14:28,488
♪ those pretty faces always make
you stand out in a crowd ♪
388
00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:30,422
Yeah. This place is haunted.
389
00:14:37,196 --> 00:14:38,563
No money down!
390
00:14:40,165 --> 00:14:41,867
Hey!
391
00:14:41,934 --> 00:14:44,068
Penny. Hey, Penny!
What are you doing?
392
00:14:44,136 --> 00:14:45,604
Why do-- why do you have
a pen in your hand?
393
00:14:45,671 --> 00:14:46,937
What's happening right now?
What, are you signing something?
394
00:14:47,005 --> 00:14:48,639
I don't think
you should sign something.
395
00:14:48,707 --> 00:14:50,007
- I don't think that's a great idea.
- Great news!
396
00:14:50,074 --> 00:14:51,775
Guy got the Car Czar
to agree to the price we want.
397
00:14:51,843 --> 00:14:53,477
Booyah!
398
00:14:53,545 --> 00:14:55,646
Okay. No booyah.
Because you know what?
399
00:14:55,714 --> 00:14:56,847
It took too long,
and now we want better.
400
00:14:56,915 --> 00:14:59,049
So we reject this deal, guy.
401
00:14:59,117 --> 00:15:00,784
- No, we don't.
- Yeah, we do.
402
00:15:00,852 --> 00:15:02,319
The clock is ticking
on this deal.
403
00:15:02,387 --> 00:15:04,521
No. We want it. We want it.
Jane, I'm happy with this deal,
404
00:15:04,588 --> 00:15:06,923
and I'm taking it.
That's it. Okay? Do you hear me?
405
00:15:06,991 --> 00:15:08,525
Yeah, I hear you.
You're just wrong.
406
00:15:08,592 --> 00:15:10,192
Guy, you can do better.
407
00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:13,195
Jane, stop it. Taking this deal
does not mean that I'm settling
408
00:15:13,263 --> 00:15:15,931
or that I don't respect myself
or that I can't be the heroine
409
00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,600
of a series of self-published
postapocalyptic tween novels
410
00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,736
who may or may not be named
Teegan Arrowspear.
411
00:15:20,803 --> 00:15:23,739
I just want to buy a car!
412
00:15:23,806 --> 00:15:26,841
Aah!
413
00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:29,144
Aah!
414
00:15:29,211 --> 00:15:30,678
Damn it!
415
00:15:30,746 --> 00:15:33,014
That we will pay for.
416
00:15:33,082 --> 00:15:35,917
I gotta admit, Maxworld is
kinda doing me right today.
417
00:15:35,984 --> 00:15:37,285
You know, I feel bad
I couldn't figure out
418
00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,389
the last thing
on your saba-do list-- the steam.
419
00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:42,956
I know what to do.
420
00:15:43,024 --> 00:15:45,025
Oh!
421
00:15:45,093 --> 00:15:46,993
Oh, yeah.
422
00:15:47,062 --> 00:15:48,429
- Oh!
- Oh, yeah!
423
00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:51,165
- Ohh, yeah!
- Ohh, yeah!
424
00:15:51,232 --> 00:15:52,433
Williams?
425
00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,634
Is that you?
426
00:15:54,702 --> 00:15:56,703
Paul, hey.
427
00:15:56,771 --> 00:15:58,137
Damn. What happened?
428
00:15:58,205 --> 00:15:59,505
You got fired,
like, a month ago,
429
00:15:59,573 --> 00:16:00,839
and already you're homeless?
430
00:16:00,907 --> 00:16:03,443
Oh, no. We were just--
431
00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:06,379
I gotta go. Forristal's
got us working weekends.
432
00:16:06,447 --> 00:16:09,415
Listen,
take care of yourself, man.
433
00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:12,853
- But...
- What a shame.
434
00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:23,733
F. Murray Abraham!
435
00:16:23,801 --> 00:16:26,002
Listen, I'm sorry, Penny.
436
00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,403
I shouldn't have taken
this whole thing over.
437
00:16:28,471 --> 00:16:29,738
Then why did you?
438
00:16:29,806 --> 00:16:32,007
Because I'm Jane.
I could not help myself.
439
00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,210
I get carried away because
I want what's best for you,
440
00:16:34,277 --> 00:16:36,245
and I guess I thought
that maybe you couldn't--
441
00:16:36,313 --> 00:16:38,080
What?
442
00:16:38,148 --> 00:16:39,481
Do it myself?
443
00:16:39,549 --> 00:16:41,450
Uh...
444
00:16:41,451 --> 00:16:42,451
So...
445
00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,053
I just spoke to the Car Czar.
He's pissed.
446
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,889
We're gonna give you the car,
plus a big rebate.
447
00:16:47,957 --> 00:16:50,791
Just-- just don't cry anymore
and leave now.
448
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:52,626
Deal.
449
00:16:52,694 --> 00:16:54,095
Thank you. I'm getting
blackout drunk tonight.
450
00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:55,930
Okay. Have fun.
451
00:16:55,998 --> 00:16:59,200
Oh, my Keyser Soze.
452
00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,601
You planned that whole thing.
453
00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:04,604
You did the tearful walkout
on him and...
454
00:17:04,672 --> 00:17:06,773
me.
455
00:17:06,841 --> 00:17:08,942
I am proud of you,
Teegan Aerosmith.
456
00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,010
It's Arrowspear.
457
00:17:10,078 --> 00:17:11,378
- It's not great.
- No.
458
00:17:11,445 --> 00:17:14,414
I never
would've pulled this off
459
00:17:14,482 --> 00:17:15,948
if you hadn't pushed me.
460
00:17:16,016 --> 00:17:16,983
Thank you.
461
00:17:17,050 --> 00:17:18,351
You're welcome.
462
00:17:18,418 --> 00:17:21,020
Now let's go buy this car.
463
00:17:21,088 --> 00:17:24,056
Yes. Let me just grab my license
and registration.
464
00:17:24,124 --> 00:17:25,557
Aah! Jane?
465
00:17:27,627 --> 00:17:28,961
Jane?
466
00:17:30,663 --> 00:17:32,463
Jane?
467
00:17:32,531 --> 00:17:34,132
It was just so humiliating
468
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,767
having Paul see me like that,
you know?
469
00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:37,235
Oh, I know.
470
00:17:37,303 --> 00:17:39,004
Cindy Brunswick caught me
picking boogs in class.
471
00:17:39,071 --> 00:17:41,106
Ugh. Been there.
Did you eat it?
472
00:17:41,173 --> 00:17:44,842
Oh! Martin, you gotta pick it
and flick it, man!
473
00:17:44,911 --> 00:17:46,912
Yo. What's up?
You guys talking boogs?
474
00:17:46,979 --> 00:17:49,113
- Yeah.
- Did you eat it?
475
00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:52,016
Oh, come on, man. You gotta
pick it and flick it, bro.
476
00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:53,384
Ugh.
477
00:17:53,451 --> 00:17:54,818
Hey, Brad, I, uh,
478
00:17:54,886 --> 00:17:56,787
I think I threw you into
Maxworld a little too quickly,
479
00:17:56,854 --> 00:17:58,188
and I wanted to say I'm sorry
480
00:17:58,256 --> 00:17:59,990
that you were embarrassed
in front of Paul.
481
00:18:00,058 --> 00:18:01,892
Yeah.
482
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,927
You know what?
483
00:18:03,994 --> 00:18:05,795
He's going into the office
on a Saturday.
484
00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:07,330
The guy has kids
and never even sees them.
485
00:18:07,398 --> 00:18:09,665
Yeah.
Paul is living the dream.
486
00:18:09,733 --> 00:18:10,633
Um...
487
00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,302
Oh. Oh, you--
488
00:18:12,369 --> 00:18:14,804
you mean that not seeing
your kids is-- is a bad thing?
489
00:18:14,871 --> 00:18:16,339
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Proceed.
490
00:18:16,407 --> 00:18:18,041
I just need to find something
491
00:18:18,108 --> 00:18:19,608
that's in between
working 80 hours a week
492
00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:22,444
and crashing some lame kid's
boring birthday party.
493
00:18:22,511 --> 00:18:23,778
Hey. I'm right here.
494
00:18:23,846 --> 00:18:26,014
Oh. Martin,
I didn't mean you. I was--
495
00:18:26,082 --> 00:18:27,582
Whatever, Brad.
496
00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:30,218
I had to sit here and listen
to your lame wrap-up.
497
00:18:30,286 --> 00:18:32,454
Get a job!
498
00:18:32,521 --> 00:18:34,957
Okay. This is
the only apartment in Chicago
499
00:18:35,024 --> 00:18:36,890
that you haven't seen yet.
500
00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:39,160
It doesn't have a secret
turny-aroundy bookcase,
501
00:18:39,227 --> 00:18:41,728
but it's zoned for one,
and I got a guy.
502
00:18:41,796 --> 00:18:42,729
It is perfect.
503
00:18:42,797 --> 00:18:44,231
Mm-hmm.
504
00:18:44,299 --> 00:18:45,732
Al, what do you think?
505
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:46,834
It's great!
506
00:18:46,901 --> 00:18:50,037
Yeah.
507
00:18:50,105 --> 00:18:50,904
- Okay.
- Although--
508
00:18:50,973 --> 00:18:52,973
No! No!
509
00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,740
- No more "althoughs"!
- I just--
510
00:18:54,808 --> 00:18:56,676
No! You shut your face!
511
00:18:56,743 --> 00:18:58,411
- I think he's trying to say--
- No. Not you, either.
512
00:18:58,479 --> 00:19:00,413
You know what?
This is not my fault.
513
00:19:00,481 --> 00:19:02,782
This is your fault.
514
00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,651
You two should be hesitant
about living together.
515
00:19:05,719 --> 00:19:08,253
You know, your love story
that I said was unique?
516
00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:10,089
Yeah, it isn't cute.
517
00:19:10,156 --> 00:19:11,923
It sucks!
518
00:19:11,992 --> 00:19:15,861
You two have been making
stupid excuses all day
519
00:19:15,928 --> 00:19:19,131
because you know
in your stupid hearts
520
00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,066
you should not
be living together.
521
00:19:21,134 --> 00:19:22,434
But it's up to you.
522
00:19:22,502 --> 00:19:24,869
What the fuck are you gonna do?
523
00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:33,911
- Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers.
- Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers.
524
00:19:33,979 --> 00:19:35,079
To your new place.
525
00:19:35,147 --> 00:19:37,281
It is stunning,
526
00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:38,483
simply stunning.
527
00:19:38,550 --> 00:19:40,117
Man, you honkeys
gonna like it here.
528
00:19:40,184 --> 00:19:41,485
Let's check out the bathrooms,
529
00:19:41,552 --> 00:19:44,021
see where these whiteys
do they business.
530
00:19:44,088 --> 00:19:45,688
You people are
getting way too comfortable.
531
00:19:45,756 --> 00:19:46,890
You know what?
I felt that.
532
00:19:46,957 --> 00:19:48,091
I'm sorry.
That was inappropriate.
533
00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:49,259
- Yeah.
- It really was wrong.
534
00:19:49,327 --> 00:19:50,360
Well, we did it.
535
00:19:50,428 --> 00:19:52,162
Yes, we did.
536
00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:53,963
We got a place together.
537
00:19:54,032 --> 00:19:56,332
To the best decision
we ever made.
538
00:20:00,737 --> 00:20:01,870
Ah.
539
00:20:01,938 --> 00:20:03,272
Ooh.
540
00:20:05,475 --> 00:20:06,942
I'm gonna just, uh,
check out...
541
00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:08,644
Yeah. Yeah.
542
00:20:17,219 --> 00:20:18,186
Jane Kerkovich?
543
00:20:18,253 --> 00:20:20,822
It is I, the Car Czar.
544
00:20:20,889 --> 00:20:22,489
I know what cars are.
545
00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:24,858
Oh, my God. You do exist.
546
00:20:24,926 --> 00:20:27,894
In my 15 years of selling cars
and my 10 years of owning a zoo,
547
00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:30,163
I have never seen
a better negotiator.
548
00:20:30,231 --> 00:20:31,799
I want you to come work for me.
549
00:20:31,866 --> 00:20:36,236
Mr. Car Czar,
I am flattered,
550
00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:38,571
but I already have
a job that I love.
551
00:20:38,639 --> 00:20:40,239
That's what
I'm willing to pay you.
552
00:20:44,144 --> 00:20:47,112
Mm.
553
00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,114
Here's my counter.
554
00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:50,683
No one should ever
leave the house
555
00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:51,884
without their ideal salary
556
00:20:51,952 --> 00:20:53,085
written on a folded-up piece
of paper.
557
00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:57,856
That's my counter.
558
00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,624
Here's mine.
559
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:07,165
Sweetheart,
you got yourself a deal.
560
00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:10,701
Mm. Now that I'm on the team,
you gonna tell me what cars are?
561
00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,103
Ah.
562
00:21:26,450 --> 00:21:27,751
That's pretty much
what I thought.
563
00:21:27,818 --> 00:21:29,252
It's all they are.
Wow!
564
00:21:29,319 --> 00:21:30,286
I'll see you on Monday.
565
00:21:30,354 --> 00:21:33,589
Okay.
566
00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:40,564
Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com
39686
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