All language subtitles for Afl 02 happy endings se03

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,502 --> 00:00:07,970 I didn't think we could top last Halloween, but we did it. 2 00:00:08,038 --> 00:00:09,972 Are we gonna see any Jackson 5s tonight? Yep. 3 00:00:10,040 --> 00:00:11,741 Are we gonna see any marionettes? Most def. 4 00:00:11,808 --> 00:00:13,042 Are we gonna see mos defs? 5 00:00:13,109 --> 00:00:14,544 I wouldn't know it if we saw it. 6 00:00:14,611 --> 00:00:19,748 But I guarantee we are gonna be the only marionette Jackson 5. 7 00:00:19,815 --> 00:00:22,450 - Yes! - Wait. Which Jackson 5 am I again? 8 00:00:22,518 --> 00:00:24,252 - You're Michael. - ♪ Hoo-hoo ♪ 9 00:00:24,319 --> 00:00:25,486 - Jane is Jackie. - Mm-hmm. 10 00:00:25,555 --> 00:00:26,721 - Penny is Tito. - Little T! 11 00:00:26,789 --> 00:00:27,789 Max is Marlon. 12 00:00:27,857 --> 00:00:28,890 ♪ ah-ba-doh-bo-bo ♪ 13 00:00:28,958 --> 00:00:31,159 I'm Joe, and Dave is La Toya. 14 00:00:31,226 --> 00:00:32,961 Why do I always have to be La Toya? 15 00:00:33,029 --> 00:00:34,062 Shut up, La Toya! 16 00:00:34,129 --> 00:00:35,096 - No! - Smack it! 17 00:00:35,164 --> 00:00:36,196 La Toya should always shut up! 18 00:00:36,264 --> 00:00:38,365 - She deserves it. - All right, here we go. 19 00:00:38,433 --> 00:00:40,333 Halloween train all aboard! 20 00:00:40,401 --> 00:00:42,202 Chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, 21 00:00:42,270 --> 00:00:43,437 chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, 22 00:00:43,504 --> 00:00:45,039 chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga, chugga-chugga... 23 00:00:45,106 --> 00:00:46,874 Ooh. Ow! 24 00:00:46,942 --> 00:00:48,042 Pull it! 25 00:00:48,109 --> 00:00:49,777 - All right. - Kick back, kick back. 26 00:00:49,844 --> 00:00:50,844 - Penny! - Pull it back. 27 00:00:50,912 --> 00:00:52,378 Collateral damage. 28 00:00:52,446 --> 00:00:54,047 - We gotta go back. - Why are we turning? 29 00:00:54,114 --> 00:00:55,114 - I got confused. - Aah! 30 00:00:55,182 --> 00:00:57,050 - Oh! - There we go. 31 00:00:59,252 --> 00:01:00,787 Halloween blows. 32 00:01:00,854 --> 00:01:02,288 Drink. 33 00:01:02,355 --> 00:01:04,958 Whoa! Hey, hold on, guys. 34 00:01:08,094 --> 00:01:09,194 Good one, La Toya! 35 00:01:09,261 --> 00:01:10,963 Why you so stupid, huh? 36 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,197 You're so dumb. 37 00:01:12,264 --> 00:01:13,599 You a dumbass bitch, La Toya. 38 00:01:15,668 --> 00:01:16,902 Now go up quick, up quick. Up top! 39 00:01:16,970 --> 00:01:20,906 - Oh, drink, drink, drink! - Aah! 40 00:01:20,974 --> 00:01:22,841 It's all on La Toya's beard! 41 00:01:22,909 --> 00:01:28,746 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 42 00:01:33,051 --> 00:01:35,352 - As the public face of our little gang here... - Self-appointed. 43 00:01:35,420 --> 00:01:38,522 I would like to thank Jane and congratulate her 44 00:01:38,590 --> 00:01:40,957 on another amazing Saturday brunch. 45 00:01:41,025 --> 00:01:42,125 - Mm. - Aw. 46 00:01:42,192 --> 00:01:43,593 You go, girl! 47 00:01:43,661 --> 00:01:46,429 You go to hell, girl! 48 00:01:46,497 --> 00:01:47,964 There's no rosemary sun-dried chicken apple pesto 49 00:01:48,032 --> 00:01:51,267 in that sausage! 50 00:01:51,335 --> 00:01:53,336 Those aren't cage-free huevos! 51 00:01:53,403 --> 00:01:55,804 No. 52 00:01:55,872 --> 00:01:57,973 That is not fresh-squeezed juice. 53 00:01:58,041 --> 00:01:59,775 That is from concentrate. 54 00:01:59,843 --> 00:02:01,710 Concentrate! 55 00:02:01,778 --> 00:02:03,946 I'm trying, but I don't know what you're talking about. 56 00:02:04,014 --> 00:02:05,580 Well, since Brad is not working, 57 00:02:05,649 --> 00:02:07,049 we've had to cut back a little bit. 58 00:02:07,117 --> 00:02:10,452 We were spending 5 grand a month on "of the month" clubs. 59 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:11,819 How much could you really spend on-- 60 00:02:11,887 --> 00:02:14,689 Tea of the month, cigar, beer, soap, month. 61 00:02:14,757 --> 00:02:16,257 - Month of the month? - Yeah. 62 00:02:16,324 --> 00:02:18,359 August was March. 63 00:02:18,426 --> 00:02:20,061 I miss "time of the month" club the most. 64 00:02:20,129 --> 00:02:22,296 Don't worry. It's not what you think. It's a clock 65 00:02:22,364 --> 00:02:24,132 that tells you when your period's coming. 66 00:02:24,199 --> 00:02:27,201 - Yes. - That's a great idea. Well, big news out of this corner. 67 00:02:27,269 --> 00:02:28,635 These two are gonna meet with a real estate agent 68 00:02:28,703 --> 00:02:30,170 and look at apartments today. 69 00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:33,040 Stop! Before you start, just stop right in your tracks. 70 00:02:33,107 --> 00:02:34,675 We know what you're thinking, okay? 71 00:02:34,742 --> 00:02:36,609 That we're moving too fast, but we can't go backwards. 72 00:02:36,678 --> 00:02:38,045 We just can't. 73 00:02:38,112 --> 00:02:39,179 Yeah, Jane, you're probably like... 74 00:02:41,215 --> 00:02:42,849 "Bad idea. I'm gonna do my kegel exercises," 75 00:02:42,917 --> 00:02:44,283 and, Penny, you're probably like... 76 00:02:44,350 --> 00:02:46,919 "OMG. This is so not amah-zing." 77 00:02:46,987 --> 00:02:48,620 Yeah, and Max is all, like... 78 00:02:48,689 --> 00:02:51,891 "You guys are so stupid and so not fierce." 79 00:02:51,958 --> 00:02:54,393 - And then Brad-- he's like... - "Aw, hell, no! 80 00:02:54,460 --> 00:02:56,228 You two whiteys are moving in together? 81 00:02:56,296 --> 00:02:58,030 Jive-ass turkeys!" 82 00:02:58,098 --> 00:03:00,465 Don't even say it like that. Wait. 83 00:03:00,533 --> 00:03:01,700 Al, you are so offensive, 84 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:03,569 - but I'm gonna miss you as my roommate. - Ooh! 85 00:03:03,636 --> 00:03:05,737 Dave! I am gonna miss you... 86 00:03:05,805 --> 00:03:08,207 paying all our rent. I mean, half the rent. 87 00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:10,576 I mean, no one's getting scammed by anybody. 88 00:03:10,643 --> 00:03:12,844 Welp, I am gonna go. 89 00:03:12,912 --> 00:03:16,181 Wait. I thought we were hanging out today. 90 00:03:16,248 --> 00:03:19,149 Um, we just did. Did you wanna do more? 91 00:03:19,218 --> 00:03:20,685 Wait. 92 00:03:20,752 --> 00:03:24,154 The not looking me in the eyes, the nervous tick in your boob... 93 00:03:24,223 --> 00:03:26,224 - What? - Wow. 94 00:03:26,291 --> 00:03:27,758 - Did it right there. Look at those things. - You're jumping like Kris Kross. 95 00:03:27,826 --> 00:03:29,827 - Bouncin'. - Are you making a major purchase today? 96 00:03:29,894 --> 00:03:31,895 - No. - Because you know that I am the closer of the group, 97 00:03:31,963 --> 00:03:33,697 and I will get the best deal and more. 98 00:03:33,764 --> 00:03:36,233 Remember when I took Max to get a candy bar? 99 00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:39,703 This thing's filled with 40 pounds of nerds! 100 00:03:39,770 --> 00:03:41,471 Still can't get that mother open. 101 00:03:43,441 --> 00:03:44,274 D-die! 102 00:03:45,843 --> 00:03:47,009 Aah! 103 00:03:53,049 --> 00:03:54,116 Die! 104 00:03:54,183 --> 00:03:55,317 Hang on! Hang on! 105 00:03:59,889 --> 00:04:02,824 Open... 106 00:04:02,892 --> 00:04:04,525 Well, farewell. 107 00:04:04,593 --> 00:04:07,094 I am not purchasing anything of significance. 108 00:04:07,162 --> 00:04:09,364 Good day, lifelong friends. 109 00:04:15,671 --> 00:04:17,272 CCH Pounder! 110 00:04:17,339 --> 00:04:19,340 I know you're buying something big, so out with it, vato. 111 00:04:19,408 --> 00:04:21,608 Okay, fine. 112 00:04:21,676 --> 00:04:24,043 I-I'm buying a new car, and I didn't want to tell you, 113 00:04:24,111 --> 00:04:26,246 because I-I knew you'd want to come along. 114 00:04:26,314 --> 00:04:27,881 Uh, doy. Of course I want to come. 115 00:04:27,948 --> 00:04:29,316 I'm really good at buying cars. 116 00:04:29,384 --> 00:04:30,817 I know, which is why I knew if you came, 117 00:04:30,885 --> 00:04:32,552 you would just, like, take the whole thing over, 118 00:04:32,620 --> 00:04:34,454 and I really want to do this by myself. 119 00:04:34,522 --> 00:04:36,389 Look, you're my friend. 120 00:04:36,456 --> 00:04:38,123 Okay, I love you. I just want to help. 121 00:04:38,191 --> 00:04:39,592 So bring me along, 122 00:04:39,660 --> 00:04:41,927 you know, just as, like, a-a backup. 123 00:04:41,995 --> 00:04:45,331 Okay, fine, but I totally know which one I'm gonna get, 124 00:04:45,399 --> 00:04:47,433 and I have all the info here in my purse. 125 00:04:47,501 --> 00:04:49,168 Man alive! Are you a witch? 126 00:04:49,235 --> 00:04:50,503 Huh. 127 00:05:00,279 --> 00:05:01,979 What?! No! 128 00:05:02,047 --> 00:05:03,548 Crap. Damn it! 129 00:05:03,616 --> 00:05:05,450 Hey. 130 00:05:05,518 --> 00:05:07,051 Black best friend-o, what's going on? 131 00:05:07,119 --> 00:05:08,885 Why so glum? 132 00:05:08,953 --> 00:05:10,387 It's Saturday, 133 00:05:10,455 --> 00:05:11,888 and I used to look forward to my usual satty D's, 134 00:05:11,956 --> 00:05:14,558 but now I can't afford to do any of my normal routine. 135 00:05:14,626 --> 00:05:16,293 Well, BBF, why don't you tell me 136 00:05:16,361 --> 00:05:17,761 what you used to do on your Saturdays? 137 00:05:17,829 --> 00:05:20,230 Well, GFF... 138 00:05:20,298 --> 00:05:21,332 Gay fat friend. 139 00:05:21,399 --> 00:05:22,800 Oh. 140 00:05:22,867 --> 00:05:25,368 I start out with lunch, then I do a little clothes shopping, 141 00:05:25,436 --> 00:05:27,069 work out with my trainer, 142 00:05:27,137 --> 00:05:29,205 and then end the day with a steam. The perfect sabado. 143 00:05:29,272 --> 00:05:30,707 Dude, you know what? 144 00:05:30,774 --> 00:05:33,042 We could do that all for no money at all. 145 00:05:33,109 --> 00:05:36,479 Welcome to Maxworld, TM, circle-R. 146 00:05:36,547 --> 00:05:39,048 Really? Wait. You trademarked and registered Maxworld? 147 00:05:40,650 --> 00:05:42,718 It's kind of a long, drawn-out, complicated story, 148 00:05:42,785 --> 00:05:44,185 with a bunch of different parts. 149 00:05:44,253 --> 00:05:46,788 - Basically, I didn't. Let's go. - Ah. 150 00:05:46,856 --> 00:05:48,122 Mwah! 151 00:05:48,190 --> 00:05:50,559 Mm. This is it. 152 00:05:50,626 --> 00:05:52,394 It's exactly what I've always wanted! 153 00:05:52,462 --> 00:05:54,329 Let's buy this baby! 154 00:05:54,397 --> 00:05:57,898 Hold on. Let's not start bottom-frenching just yet. 155 00:05:57,966 --> 00:05:59,900 Buying a car is like going to war-- 156 00:05:59,968 --> 00:06:05,038 a very small war inside of a car dealership. 157 00:06:05,106 --> 00:06:07,107 There's gonna be casualties. 158 00:06:07,175 --> 00:06:08,576 Probably you. 159 00:06:08,643 --> 00:06:11,044 A little friendly fire. 160 00:06:11,112 --> 00:06:12,679 Oh! Yes, okay. 161 00:06:12,747 --> 00:06:13,813 Who... 162 00:06:13,881 --> 00:06:15,081 are... 163 00:06:15,148 --> 00:06:16,282 you? 164 00:06:16,350 --> 00:06:17,584 Oh, I am Guy. 165 00:06:17,651 --> 00:06:19,819 Welcome to the Car Czar. We know what cars are. 166 00:06:19,887 --> 00:06:20,987 Stop it! 167 00:06:22,556 --> 00:06:23,823 Penny, what are you up to? 168 00:06:23,891 --> 00:06:25,625 Oh, I'm writing him a check for the car. 169 00:06:25,693 --> 00:06:27,093 It says the price right here on this little sticker. 170 00:06:27,160 --> 00:06:28,261 Boop. Boop. 171 00:06:28,328 --> 00:06:29,895 Okay. 172 00:06:29,962 --> 00:06:32,030 You are never supposed to pay that price. 173 00:06:32,098 --> 00:06:33,399 Oh, right. 174 00:06:33,466 --> 00:06:35,233 How much do you tip on a car? 15%? 175 00:06:36,503 --> 00:06:38,504 20%? 176 00:06:38,571 --> 00:06:39,772 20%. Okay. 177 00:06:40,907 --> 00:06:43,642 ♪ Hello! ♪ 178 00:06:45,110 --> 00:06:47,712 Hi. I'm Suzanne Thomson-Perez-Kline-Jensen. 179 00:06:47,780 --> 00:06:49,113 - Hi. - Ow. 180 00:06:49,180 --> 00:06:50,782 Are we excited? 181 00:06:50,849 --> 00:06:52,417 We are gonna find you two knuffle bunnies 182 00:06:52,484 --> 00:06:53,951 an apartment today. 183 00:06:54,019 --> 00:06:55,753 So what do you think, huh? 184 00:06:55,821 --> 00:06:58,589 Two beds, two baths, too great a deal for you to pass up. 185 00:06:58,657 --> 00:07:00,758 Yep, I did it. 186 00:07:00,826 --> 00:07:04,228 Well, the two of us think it's too-riffic. 187 00:07:05,797 --> 00:07:07,431 Yeah, I didn't do it. 188 00:07:07,498 --> 00:07:09,666 Well, what he's trying to say is we like it. 189 00:07:09,734 --> 00:07:11,568 News flash-- that's great news. 190 00:07:11,636 --> 00:07:13,270 I have the paperwork here. 191 00:07:13,338 --> 00:07:14,939 All I need for you guys to do is sign it, 192 00:07:15,006 --> 00:07:17,540 and you kids will be locked into a 2-year lease. 193 00:07:20,044 --> 00:07:21,144 Is two years a problem? 194 00:07:21,211 --> 00:07:23,313 Uh... 195 00:07:23,380 --> 00:07:24,814 Uh... 196 00:07:24,881 --> 00:07:26,449 Yeah. 197 00:07:26,516 --> 00:07:28,418 - Yeah. - No, two years is too short. 198 00:07:28,485 --> 00:07:29,953 Why don't we make it a 10-year lease? 199 00:07:30,020 --> 00:07:31,787 - Or 20 or 40. - Okay. 200 00:07:31,855 --> 00:07:33,455 Let's die in this bitch. 201 00:07:33,522 --> 00:07:37,525 Although this particular bitch does have some issues. 202 00:07:37,593 --> 00:07:38,961 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, 203 00:07:39,028 --> 00:07:40,695 - yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. - Uh, yeah. 204 00:07:40,763 --> 00:07:43,531 - Hella issues. Something's wrong. - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. 205 00:07:43,599 --> 00:07:45,567 - It's a-- it's a thing. - Mm. 206 00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,802 - A thing? - It's a grande thing. Shame on you. 207 00:07:47,870 --> 00:07:49,838 - Right. - Okay. Okay. 208 00:07:49,905 --> 00:07:52,239 - It's a-- it's a m-m-m-- it's sort of a me-- me. - It's a m-m-- 209 00:07:52,307 --> 00:07:54,375 - It's a shi-- shi... - Some shi-- shia. 210 00:07:54,443 --> 00:07:55,543 - Shia! - Shia labeouf-y! 211 00:07:55,611 --> 00:07:56,878 It's too shia labeouf-y. 212 00:07:56,946 --> 00:07:58,044 Too shia labeouf-y. 213 00:07:58,112 --> 00:07:59,446 Okay. 214 00:07:59,514 --> 00:08:00,881 I get it. 215 00:08:00,949 --> 00:08:02,649 I guess, uh, uh, that the fireplace-- 216 00:08:02,717 --> 00:08:04,384 the fireplace is too labeouf-y. 217 00:08:04,452 --> 00:08:07,554 Okay, so we are forging on. 218 00:08:07,622 --> 00:08:09,356 I will find you the perfect place, 219 00:08:09,423 --> 00:08:11,658 or my name is not Suzanne Thomson-Perez-Kline-Jensen. 220 00:08:11,726 --> 00:08:14,259 Gotta ask. Are those three hyphens? 221 00:08:14,327 --> 00:08:15,528 Four, actually. 222 00:08:15,596 --> 00:08:17,497 Uh, Thom-Sun-- two names. 223 00:08:17,564 --> 00:08:19,966 I was married to a Korean guy for a hot minute. Yeah. 224 00:08:20,033 --> 00:08:22,301 His hobby was smoking indoors. 225 00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:23,235 - Hmm. - What? 226 00:08:23,303 --> 00:08:24,504 Okay! Let's move on! 227 00:08:24,571 --> 00:08:27,106 Ready. Okay. 228 00:08:27,173 --> 00:08:29,908 I don't know, Max. I don't think we should be here. 229 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,676 Dude, these drunks know how to do it, 230 00:08:31,744 --> 00:08:33,344 plus everyone loved my speech. 231 00:08:33,412 --> 00:08:36,214 Thanks for sharing that story about your dad and the ice tray. 232 00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:38,349 No. Thank you, man. 233 00:08:38,417 --> 00:08:40,552 Every day's a gift. Mm-hmm. 234 00:08:40,620 --> 00:08:42,554 I just wish this coffee was a beer, huh? 235 00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:43,788 Hmm. 236 00:08:43,856 --> 00:08:45,723 Yeah. 237 00:08:45,790 --> 00:08:47,391 Dude, I don't even want any of this stuff. 238 00:08:47,458 --> 00:08:49,359 I asked for a healthy lunch. 239 00:08:49,427 --> 00:08:52,396 Okay. This one was for me. You're next. 240 00:08:55,734 --> 00:08:58,368 Thanks for sharing that story about your dad and the ice tray. 241 00:08:58,436 --> 00:08:59,436 Every day's a gift. 242 00:08:59,504 --> 00:09:00,704 Yeah. 243 00:09:00,772 --> 00:09:02,071 Just wish this coffee was a pizza, huh? 244 00:09:02,139 --> 00:09:05,207 Hmm. Yeah. 245 00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:08,210 Should we do one more? Yeah. Yeah. Let's do one more. 246 00:09:11,815 --> 00:09:13,750 Thanks for sharing that story about your dad and the ice tray. 247 00:09:13,817 --> 00:09:17,653 Just wish this coffee was a vagina, am I right? 248 00:09:17,720 --> 00:09:20,455 Penny, this is about more than just a car. 249 00:09:20,523 --> 00:09:22,323 Okay? This is about your life. 250 00:09:22,391 --> 00:09:24,259 You control your own destiny, 251 00:09:24,326 --> 00:09:26,628 like Katniss Everdeen in The Hunger Games. 252 00:09:26,696 --> 00:09:28,430 Oh, my God. I love those books. You read them, too? 253 00:09:28,497 --> 00:09:30,532 No, that stuff's for dorks, but I knew it'd get you excited. 254 00:09:30,600 --> 00:09:31,533 Oh. 255 00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:34,735 Okay. It is time for... 256 00:09:34,803 --> 00:09:36,003 the walkout. 257 00:09:36,071 --> 00:09:37,237 The walkout? 258 00:09:37,305 --> 00:09:38,505 When guy comes over, 259 00:09:38,574 --> 00:09:40,074 I want you to look him right in the eye, 260 00:09:40,141 --> 00:09:43,077 and I want you to say to him, "what's your best price?" 261 00:09:43,144 --> 00:09:44,745 And when he gives it to you, 262 00:09:44,813 --> 00:09:48,115 I want you to say, "no, thank you," 263 00:09:48,183 --> 00:09:52,251 and then I want you to just calmly walk out. 264 00:09:52,319 --> 00:09:53,386 Can you do that? 265 00:09:53,454 --> 00:09:56,056 Yes. Yes, I can. 266 00:09:56,123 --> 00:09:58,825 So, ladies. 267 00:09:58,893 --> 00:10:01,027 What is your best price? 268 00:10:01,095 --> 00:10:02,696 Did you want the 2-door or the 4-door-- 269 00:10:02,763 --> 00:10:04,430 No, thank you! 270 00:10:06,265 --> 00:10:09,034 I'm okay! 271 00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:12,471 We're not paying for that. 272 00:10:19,087 --> 00:10:20,354 This place has all the things you want 273 00:10:20,421 --> 00:10:22,623 that the last five places didn't have-- 274 00:10:22,690 --> 00:10:24,258 skylights, gym, 275 00:10:24,325 --> 00:10:27,527 close to a hardware store, but far from a software store. 276 00:10:27,595 --> 00:10:30,029 This chandelier's gonna make it tough for chicken fights. 277 00:10:30,097 --> 00:10:31,330 Do you guys have a lot of chicken fights? 278 00:10:31,398 --> 00:10:32,866 Enough that it's a real concern. 279 00:10:32,933 --> 00:10:34,234 Yeah. Ready? 280 00:10:34,301 --> 00:10:35,334 Whoo! 281 00:10:35,402 --> 00:10:36,736 You know what? 282 00:10:36,804 --> 00:10:39,005 You know what? This is-- this is my fault. 283 00:10:39,073 --> 00:10:41,274 I never asked you guys about yourselves. 284 00:10:41,341 --> 00:10:42,876 How can I be expected to find you the perfect place 285 00:10:42,943 --> 00:10:44,944 if I don't know your story? 286 00:10:45,012 --> 00:10:48,680 Well, Alex and I have known each other for a long time. 287 00:10:48,748 --> 00:10:50,816 I mean, there is quite the history there. 288 00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:53,318 - A lot of ups and downs. - Yeah, left him at the altar for a guy in rollerblades. 289 00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:54,953 Oh! That one stung! 290 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,156 - Sorry. - But not to worry, Suzanne. 291 00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:00,192 I did a lot of rebound between the sheets-ing. 292 00:11:00,260 --> 00:11:01,493 Sluts. 293 00:11:01,560 --> 00:11:03,594 - And then, one magical night... - Oh. 294 00:11:03,662 --> 00:11:05,329 We rekindled our fire 295 00:11:05,397 --> 00:11:07,799 in the back of my award-winning food truck. 296 00:11:07,866 --> 00:11:13,070 Well, that certainly is a, uh, unique story. 297 00:11:13,138 --> 00:11:15,273 Um, I can understand why you're-- 298 00:11:15,340 --> 00:11:17,275 why you're hesitant choosing your apartment. 299 00:11:17,342 --> 00:11:18,474 - Hesitant? - Hesitant? 300 00:11:18,542 --> 00:11:19,876 - Hesitant? - Hesitant? 301 00:11:19,944 --> 00:11:21,511 - Hesitant? - Hesitant-- is that even a word? 302 00:11:21,578 --> 00:11:23,814 - Yes, it is. - It is? 303 00:11:23,881 --> 00:11:24,815 - No. It is. - Oh. 304 00:11:24,882 --> 00:11:26,183 We just want to make sure 305 00:11:26,250 --> 00:11:27,750 that the apartment we find is perfect. 306 00:11:27,819 --> 00:11:29,052 Me, too. 307 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,720 Okay, now before we go, 308 00:11:30,788 --> 00:11:34,489 are you sure this place won't work for you? 309 00:11:34,557 --> 00:11:36,058 Well... 310 00:11:36,126 --> 00:11:37,592 It could work. 311 00:11:37,660 --> 00:11:40,062 Yeah, I mean, it is charming as hell. Does it have wi-fi? 312 00:11:40,130 --> 00:11:41,463 Yes. Yes, of course. 313 00:11:41,531 --> 00:11:43,699 - Ooh. No bueno. - Ooh! 314 00:11:43,766 --> 00:11:45,034 No. No. No. No. 315 00:11:45,101 --> 00:11:46,768 We're old-school. We like dial-up. 316 00:11:46,837 --> 00:11:48,503 Mm-hmm. Oh, babe, do your impression. 317 00:11:48,571 --> 00:11:49,705 - Really? Okay. - Yeah. Yeah. 318 00:11:51,173 --> 00:11:52,240 Bom-- ee-- 319 00:11:52,308 --> 00:11:54,242 bom-- ee-bom. 320 00:11:54,310 --> 00:11:56,077 Here comes the connection. 321 00:11:56,145 --> 00:11:57,846 You've got mail! 322 00:12:02,251 --> 00:12:03,718 Thanks for signing up for our cell phone 323 00:12:03,785 --> 00:12:06,720 and credit card combo plan, Mr. Kerkovich and Mr. Rose, 324 00:12:06,787 --> 00:12:09,156 at our competitive 38% interest rate. 325 00:12:09,224 --> 00:12:10,490 - Sweet. - Not a good rate. 326 00:12:10,558 --> 00:12:11,892 And that, my friend, 327 00:12:11,960 --> 00:12:13,760 is how you go clothes shopping in Maxworld. 328 00:12:13,828 --> 00:12:14,995 This is fun, man. 329 00:12:15,063 --> 00:12:17,197 And these hats are cool. 330 00:12:17,265 --> 00:12:18,298 Ah. 331 00:12:18,366 --> 00:12:19,967 Nope. Nope. 332 00:12:20,034 --> 00:12:22,634 Nope. Nope. White. 333 00:12:23,937 --> 00:12:25,604 So what's next on your saba-do list? 334 00:12:25,672 --> 00:12:27,139 Uh, right about now, 335 00:12:27,207 --> 00:12:29,141 I'd meet up with my trainer Gunther and go for a run. 336 00:12:29,209 --> 00:12:31,077 Nobody motivates me like that guy. 337 00:12:31,144 --> 00:12:32,044 Nobody, huh? 338 00:12:32,112 --> 00:12:33,479 Nobody. 339 00:12:33,546 --> 00:12:36,215 Well, I think that's Child's Play 2... 340 00:12:36,283 --> 00:12:37,616 When nature calls. 341 00:12:38,885 --> 00:12:41,719 Excuse me, big country. 342 00:12:41,787 --> 00:12:43,755 Hi. Could you tell me how to get to the YMCA? 343 00:12:43,822 --> 00:12:45,390 - Yeah, you go right down that street-- - Shut up! 344 00:12:45,457 --> 00:12:46,591 Shut up! 345 00:12:47,726 --> 00:12:49,394 He told me to do it! 346 00:12:49,461 --> 00:12:50,328 I ain't running from no one. 347 00:12:50,396 --> 00:12:51,429 Aah! 348 00:12:51,497 --> 00:12:53,831 Aah! 349 00:12:53,899 --> 00:12:55,699 Aah! 350 00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,635 Okay, I think... 351 00:12:58,703 --> 00:13:01,671 I have all the options that you want here. 352 00:13:01,739 --> 00:13:04,441 Should be all good. Let me just run it by the Car Czar. 353 00:13:04,509 --> 00:13:06,010 He knows what cars are. 354 00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,778 Yeah, you do that, chooch. 355 00:13:07,845 --> 00:13:11,180 You go run it by the Car Czar. Oh. 356 00:13:11,248 --> 00:13:12,348 There is no Car Czar. 357 00:13:12,416 --> 00:13:15,451 No Car Czar? Then who knows what cars are? 358 00:13:15,519 --> 00:13:16,819 Oh, my gullible, chesty friend, 359 00:13:16,887 --> 00:13:18,721 you better buckle up, 'cause this is 360 00:13:18,789 --> 00:13:20,623 when they make us wait for hours and assume you will take 361 00:13:20,690 --> 00:13:22,392 any price when they finally come back, 362 00:13:22,459 --> 00:13:24,193 but we're not gonna do that. 363 00:13:24,261 --> 00:13:25,929 We're not? 364 00:13:25,996 --> 00:13:27,396 No. We're gonna be ready for all their little tricks. 365 00:13:27,464 --> 00:13:29,565 Watch. They're gonna turn the air conditioning off 366 00:13:29,633 --> 00:13:32,635 in three... two... 367 00:13:35,238 --> 00:13:36,806 But that's just a coincidence. 368 00:13:36,873 --> 00:13:37,940 Sure. 369 00:13:38,007 --> 00:13:39,642 Now someone's gonna come in 370 00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:41,510 and offer us a pathetic amount of water. 371 00:13:41,578 --> 00:13:46,314 Sorry. This is all we have. 372 00:13:46,381 --> 00:13:48,182 Now... 373 00:13:48,250 --> 00:13:49,484 you're gonna sneeze. 374 00:13:49,552 --> 00:13:51,018 You're a warlock. 375 00:13:51,086 --> 00:13:53,321 Must... be... strong, 376 00:13:53,388 --> 00:13:55,990 like Hermione in the Harry Potter books. 377 00:13:56,058 --> 00:13:57,625 - You read those? - Dorks. 378 00:13:57,693 --> 00:14:00,894 Whatever. If they don't match my price, I'm still gonna buy. 379 00:14:00,962 --> 00:14:03,096 S-- 380 00:14:03,164 --> 00:14:05,231 they're listening. 381 00:14:09,804 --> 00:14:12,272 ♪ Oh, oh ♪ 382 00:14:12,340 --> 00:14:13,807 Hmm. Hmm. 383 00:14:13,875 --> 00:14:16,008 - Hmm. - Hmm. 384 00:14:19,913 --> 00:14:21,046 Aah! 385 00:14:21,114 --> 00:14:22,949 ♪ When I had you to myself ♪ 386 00:14:23,016 --> 00:14:25,084 ♪ I didn't want you around ♪ 387 00:14:25,151 --> 00:14:28,488 ♪ those pretty faces always make you stand out in a crowd ♪ 388 00:14:28,555 --> 00:14:30,422 Yeah. This place is haunted. 389 00:14:37,196 --> 00:14:38,563 No money down! 390 00:14:40,165 --> 00:14:41,867 Hey! 391 00:14:41,934 --> 00:14:44,068 Penny. Hey, Penny! What are you doing? 392 00:14:44,136 --> 00:14:45,604 Why do-- why do you have a pen in your hand? 393 00:14:45,671 --> 00:14:46,937 What's happening right now? What, are you signing something? 394 00:14:47,005 --> 00:14:48,639 I don't think you should sign something. 395 00:14:48,707 --> 00:14:50,007 - I don't think that's a great idea. - Great news! 396 00:14:50,074 --> 00:14:51,775 Guy got the Car Czar to agree to the price we want. 397 00:14:51,843 --> 00:14:53,477 Booyah! 398 00:14:53,545 --> 00:14:55,646 Okay. No booyah. Because you know what? 399 00:14:55,714 --> 00:14:56,847 It took too long, and now we want better. 400 00:14:56,915 --> 00:14:59,049 So we reject this deal, guy. 401 00:14:59,117 --> 00:15:00,784 - No, we don't. - Yeah, we do. 402 00:15:00,852 --> 00:15:02,319 The clock is ticking on this deal. 403 00:15:02,387 --> 00:15:04,521 No. We want it. We want it. Jane, I'm happy with this deal, 404 00:15:04,588 --> 00:15:06,923 and I'm taking it. That's it. Okay? Do you hear me? 405 00:15:06,991 --> 00:15:08,525 Yeah, I hear you. You're just wrong. 406 00:15:08,592 --> 00:15:10,192 Guy, you can do better. 407 00:15:10,260 --> 00:15:13,195 Jane, stop it. Taking this deal does not mean that I'm settling 408 00:15:13,263 --> 00:15:15,931 or that I don't respect myself or that I can't be the heroine 409 00:15:15,999 --> 00:15:18,600 of a series of self-published postapocalyptic tween novels 410 00:15:18,668 --> 00:15:20,736 who may or may not be named Teegan Arrowspear. 411 00:15:20,803 --> 00:15:23,739 I just want to buy a car! 412 00:15:23,806 --> 00:15:26,841 Aah! 413 00:15:26,909 --> 00:15:29,144 Aah! 414 00:15:29,211 --> 00:15:30,678 Damn it! 415 00:15:30,746 --> 00:15:33,014 That we will pay for. 416 00:15:33,082 --> 00:15:35,917 I gotta admit, Maxworld is kinda doing me right today. 417 00:15:35,984 --> 00:15:37,285 You know, I feel bad I couldn't figure out 418 00:15:37,353 --> 00:15:41,389 the last thing on your saba-do list-- the steam. 419 00:15:41,457 --> 00:15:42,956 I know what to do. 420 00:15:43,024 --> 00:15:45,025 Oh! 421 00:15:45,093 --> 00:15:46,993 Oh, yeah. 422 00:15:47,062 --> 00:15:48,429 - Oh! - Oh, yeah! 423 00:15:48,496 --> 00:15:51,165 - Ohh, yeah! - Ohh, yeah! 424 00:15:51,232 --> 00:15:52,433 Williams? 425 00:15:52,500 --> 00:15:54,634 Is that you? 426 00:15:54,702 --> 00:15:56,703 Paul, hey. 427 00:15:56,771 --> 00:15:58,137 Damn. What happened? 428 00:15:58,205 --> 00:15:59,505 You got fired, like, a month ago, 429 00:15:59,573 --> 00:16:00,839 and already you're homeless? 430 00:16:00,907 --> 00:16:03,443 Oh, no. We were just-- 431 00:16:03,510 --> 00:16:06,379 I gotta go. Forristal's got us working weekends. 432 00:16:06,447 --> 00:16:09,415 Listen, take care of yourself, man. 433 00:16:09,483 --> 00:16:12,853 - But... - What a shame. 434 00:16:22,666 --> 00:16:23,733 F. Murray Abraham! 435 00:16:23,801 --> 00:16:26,002 Listen, I'm sorry, Penny. 436 00:16:26,070 --> 00:16:28,403 I shouldn't have taken this whole thing over. 437 00:16:28,471 --> 00:16:29,738 Then why did you? 438 00:16:29,806 --> 00:16:32,007 Because I'm Jane. I could not help myself. 439 00:16:32,075 --> 00:16:34,210 I get carried away because I want what's best for you, 440 00:16:34,277 --> 00:16:36,245 and I guess I thought that maybe you couldn't-- 441 00:16:36,313 --> 00:16:38,080 What? 442 00:16:38,148 --> 00:16:39,481 Do it myself? 443 00:16:39,549 --> 00:16:41,450 Uh... 444 00:16:41,451 --> 00:16:42,451 So... 445 00:16:42,919 --> 00:16:45,053 I just spoke to the Car Czar. He's pissed. 446 00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,889 We're gonna give you the car, plus a big rebate. 447 00:16:47,957 --> 00:16:50,791 Just-- just don't cry anymore and leave now. 448 00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:52,626 Deal. 449 00:16:52,694 --> 00:16:54,095 Thank you. I'm getting blackout drunk tonight. 450 00:16:54,163 --> 00:16:55,930 Okay. Have fun. 451 00:16:55,998 --> 00:16:59,200 Oh, my Keyser Soze. 452 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:01,601 You planned that whole thing. 453 00:17:01,669 --> 00:17:04,604 You did the tearful walkout on him and... 454 00:17:04,672 --> 00:17:06,773 me. 455 00:17:06,841 --> 00:17:08,942 I am proud of you, Teegan Aerosmith. 456 00:17:09,010 --> 00:17:10,010 It's Arrowspear. 457 00:17:10,078 --> 00:17:11,378 - It's not great. - No. 458 00:17:11,445 --> 00:17:14,414 I never would've pulled this off 459 00:17:14,482 --> 00:17:15,948 if you hadn't pushed me. 460 00:17:16,016 --> 00:17:16,983 Thank you. 461 00:17:17,050 --> 00:17:18,351 You're welcome. 462 00:17:18,418 --> 00:17:21,020 Now let's go buy this car. 463 00:17:21,088 --> 00:17:24,056 Yes. Let me just grab my license and registration. 464 00:17:24,124 --> 00:17:25,557 Aah! Jane? 465 00:17:27,627 --> 00:17:28,961 Jane? 466 00:17:30,663 --> 00:17:32,463 Jane? 467 00:17:32,531 --> 00:17:34,132 It was just so humiliating 468 00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,767 having Paul see me like that, you know? 469 00:17:35,834 --> 00:17:37,235 Oh, I know. 470 00:17:37,303 --> 00:17:39,004 Cindy Brunswick caught me picking boogs in class. 471 00:17:39,071 --> 00:17:41,106 Ugh. Been there. Did you eat it? 472 00:17:41,173 --> 00:17:44,842 Oh! Martin, you gotta pick it and flick it, man! 473 00:17:44,911 --> 00:17:46,912 Yo. What's up? You guys talking boogs? 474 00:17:46,979 --> 00:17:49,113 - Yeah. - Did you eat it? 475 00:17:49,180 --> 00:17:52,016 Oh, come on, man. You gotta pick it and flick it, bro. 476 00:17:52,083 --> 00:17:53,384 Ugh. 477 00:17:53,451 --> 00:17:54,818 Hey, Brad, I, uh, 478 00:17:54,886 --> 00:17:56,787 I think I threw you into Maxworld a little too quickly, 479 00:17:56,854 --> 00:17:58,188 and I wanted to say I'm sorry 480 00:17:58,256 --> 00:17:59,990 that you were embarrassed in front of Paul. 481 00:18:00,058 --> 00:18:01,892 Yeah. 482 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:03,927 You know what? 483 00:18:03,994 --> 00:18:05,795 He's going into the office on a Saturday. 484 00:18:05,862 --> 00:18:07,330 The guy has kids and never even sees them. 485 00:18:07,398 --> 00:18:09,665 Yeah. Paul is living the dream. 486 00:18:09,733 --> 00:18:10,633 Um... 487 00:18:10,700 --> 00:18:12,302 Oh. Oh, you-- 488 00:18:12,369 --> 00:18:14,804 you mean that not seeing your kids is-- is a bad thing? 489 00:18:14,871 --> 00:18:16,339 - Yeah. - Yeah. Proceed. 490 00:18:16,407 --> 00:18:18,041 I just need to find something 491 00:18:18,108 --> 00:18:19,608 that's in between working 80 hours a week 492 00:18:19,676 --> 00:18:22,444 and crashing some lame kid's boring birthday party. 493 00:18:22,511 --> 00:18:23,778 Hey. I'm right here. 494 00:18:23,846 --> 00:18:26,014 Oh. Martin, I didn't mean you. I was-- 495 00:18:26,082 --> 00:18:27,582 Whatever, Brad. 496 00:18:27,650 --> 00:18:30,218 I had to sit here and listen to your lame wrap-up. 497 00:18:30,286 --> 00:18:32,454 Get a job! 498 00:18:32,521 --> 00:18:34,957 Okay. This is the only apartment in Chicago 499 00:18:35,024 --> 00:18:36,890 that you haven't seen yet. 500 00:18:36,959 --> 00:18:39,160 It doesn't have a secret turny-aroundy bookcase, 501 00:18:39,227 --> 00:18:41,728 but it's zoned for one, and I got a guy. 502 00:18:41,796 --> 00:18:42,729 It is perfect. 503 00:18:42,797 --> 00:18:44,231 Mm-hmm. 504 00:18:44,299 --> 00:18:45,732 Al, what do you think? 505 00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:46,834 It's great! 506 00:18:46,901 --> 00:18:50,037 Yeah. 507 00:18:50,105 --> 00:18:50,904 - Okay. - Although-- 508 00:18:50,973 --> 00:18:52,973 No! No! 509 00:18:53,040 --> 00:18:54,740 - No more "althoughs"! - I just-- 510 00:18:54,808 --> 00:18:56,676 No! You shut your face! 511 00:18:56,743 --> 00:18:58,411 - I think he's trying to say-- - No. Not you, either. 512 00:18:58,479 --> 00:19:00,413 You know what? This is not my fault. 513 00:19:00,481 --> 00:19:02,782 This is your fault. 514 00:19:02,850 --> 00:19:05,651 You two should be hesitant about living together. 515 00:19:05,719 --> 00:19:08,253 You know, your love story that I said was unique? 516 00:19:08,321 --> 00:19:10,089 Yeah, it isn't cute. 517 00:19:10,156 --> 00:19:11,923 It sucks! 518 00:19:11,992 --> 00:19:15,861 You two have been making stupid excuses all day 519 00:19:15,928 --> 00:19:19,131 because you know in your stupid hearts 520 00:19:19,199 --> 00:19:21,066 you should not be living together. 521 00:19:21,134 --> 00:19:22,434 But it's up to you. 522 00:19:22,502 --> 00:19:24,869 What the fuck are you gonna do? 523 00:19:31,310 --> 00:19:33,911 - Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers. - Cheers. 524 00:19:33,979 --> 00:19:35,079 To your new place. 525 00:19:35,147 --> 00:19:37,281 It is stunning, 526 00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:38,483 simply stunning. 527 00:19:38,550 --> 00:19:40,117 Man, you honkeys gonna like it here. 528 00:19:40,184 --> 00:19:41,485 Let's check out the bathrooms, 529 00:19:41,552 --> 00:19:44,021 see where these whiteys do they business. 530 00:19:44,088 --> 00:19:45,688 You people are getting way too comfortable. 531 00:19:45,756 --> 00:19:46,890 You know what? I felt that. 532 00:19:46,957 --> 00:19:48,091 I'm sorry. That was inappropriate. 533 00:19:48,159 --> 00:19:49,259 - Yeah. - It really was wrong. 534 00:19:49,327 --> 00:19:50,360 Well, we did it. 535 00:19:50,428 --> 00:19:52,162 Yes, we did. 536 00:19:52,230 --> 00:19:53,963 We got a place together. 537 00:19:54,032 --> 00:19:56,332 To the best decision we ever made. 538 00:20:00,737 --> 00:20:01,870 Ah. 539 00:20:01,938 --> 00:20:03,272 Ooh. 540 00:20:05,475 --> 00:20:06,942 I'm gonna just, uh, check out... 541 00:20:07,010 --> 00:20:08,644 Yeah. Yeah. 542 00:20:17,219 --> 00:20:18,186 Jane Kerkovich? 543 00:20:18,253 --> 00:20:20,822 It is I, the Car Czar. 544 00:20:20,889 --> 00:20:22,489 I know what cars are. 545 00:20:22,557 --> 00:20:24,858 Oh, my God. You do exist. 546 00:20:24,926 --> 00:20:27,894 In my 15 years of selling cars and my 10 years of owning a zoo, 547 00:20:27,962 --> 00:20:30,163 I have never seen a better negotiator. 548 00:20:30,231 --> 00:20:31,799 I want you to come work for me. 549 00:20:31,866 --> 00:20:36,236 Mr. Car Czar, I am flattered, 550 00:20:36,304 --> 00:20:38,571 but I already have a job that I love. 551 00:20:38,639 --> 00:20:40,239 That's what I'm willing to pay you. 552 00:20:44,144 --> 00:20:47,112 Mm. 553 00:20:47,180 --> 00:20:49,114 Here's my counter. 554 00:20:49,182 --> 00:20:50,683 No one should ever leave the house 555 00:20:50,751 --> 00:20:51,884 without their ideal salary 556 00:20:51,952 --> 00:20:53,085 written on a folded-up piece of paper. 557 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:57,856 That's my counter. 558 00:20:57,923 --> 00:20:59,624 Here's mine. 559 00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:07,165 Sweetheart, you got yourself a deal. 560 00:21:07,233 --> 00:21:10,701 Mm. Now that I'm on the team, you gonna tell me what cars are? 561 00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,103 Ah. 562 00:21:26,450 --> 00:21:27,751 That's pretty much what I thought. 563 00:21:27,818 --> 00:21:29,252 It's all they are. Wow! 564 00:21:29,319 --> 00:21:30,286 I'll see you on Monday. 565 00:21:30,354 --> 00:21:33,589 Okay. 566 00:21:34,728 --> 00:21:40,564 Sync and corrections by n17t01 www.addic7ed.com 39686

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