All language subtitles for What We Do in the Shadows s05e06 Urgent Care.eng

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,269 --> 00:00:08,616 [LASZLO LAUGHS] 2 00:00:08,627 --> 00:00:10,264 Extraordinary. 3 00:00:10,456 --> 00:00:13,752 You will want to get this on camera. Ha! 4 00:00:13,763 --> 00:00:15,517 Quickly. Gizmo! 5 00:00:15,528 --> 00:00:18,234 Gizmo? Gizmo, get up. 6 00:00:18,684 --> 00:00:20,827 - Yeah? Yeah? - Where's Nandor? 7 00:00:20,838 --> 00:00:22,703 Um, I think he's, uh, indisposed 8 00:00:22,714 --> 00:00:24,752 at the moment, um, in his bedroom. 9 00:00:24,785 --> 00:00:28,392 Ha, shaking hands with Rosie Palmer and her five milkmaids. 10 00:00:28,425 --> 00:00:30,029 - What? - What? Follow me. 11 00:00:30,084 --> 00:00:31,816 [GUILLERMO] Laszlo's still the only one who knows 12 00:00:31,827 --> 00:00:34,607 I'm half-vampire and he's been doing experiments to help. 13 00:00:34,618 --> 00:00:37,724 Happy to report that there's been some progress. 14 00:00:37,735 --> 00:00:41,108 My telekinesis has gotten better. 15 00:00:43,158 --> 00:00:44,794 [GRUNTS] 16 00:00:45,242 --> 00:00:46,277 Pretty cool, huh? 17 00:00:46,288 --> 00:00:49,603 I have discovered something wonderful with the frogs 18 00:00:49,614 --> 00:00:51,660 - that I injected with your blood. - Wait, 19 00:00:51,671 --> 00:00:53,675 you-you did what with my blood? 20 00:00:55,753 --> 00:00:57,767 - [CHUCKLES] - Why are they so hairy? 21 00:00:57,778 --> 00:00:59,514 Well, why are you so hairy? Who cares? 22 00:00:59,525 --> 00:01:01,563 - Now, bon voyage. - What? No! 23 00:01:01,574 --> 00:01:02,998 Those poor frogs! 24 00:01:03,863 --> 00:01:05,900 [CROAKING] 25 00:01:10,232 --> 00:01:11,934 [LASZLO] Shit. 26 00:01:13,120 --> 00:01:15,791 - Come on, little guy, come on, you can do it. - Shh! 27 00:01:16,474 --> 00:01:18,081 - Your turn. - To do what? 28 00:01:18,092 --> 00:01:20,918 I want you to leap off that balcony. 29 00:01:20,929 --> 00:01:22,793 What? No, I'll break my legs. 30 00:01:22,804 --> 00:01:24,559 - Bullshit. You saw those frogs. - Yeah. 31 00:01:24,570 --> 00:01:27,565 They were transformed by your blood, they flew. 32 00:01:27,576 --> 00:01:29,613 Ipso facto, shithead... 33 00:01:31,717 --> 00:01:32,886 so can you. 34 00:01:32,897 --> 00:01:35,526 - But what if I can't? - Yeah, but what if you can? 35 00:01:35,796 --> 00:01:37,085 What if you can? 36 00:01:37,096 --> 00:01:38,229 [CHUCKLES SOFTLY] 37 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:40,113 - That would be pretty cool. - It would be 38 00:01:40,124 --> 00:01:42,462 very cool. Now, I calculate 39 00:01:42,473 --> 00:01:44,349 we have exactly two minutes before 40 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,684 Nandor finishes making pearl jam. 41 00:01:46,695 --> 00:01:48,686 - Right. - So I'll see you at the bottom. 42 00:01:48,697 --> 00:01:51,593 As the actress said to the bishop. [LAUGHS] 43 00:01:51,604 --> 00:01:53,244 Come on, Guillermo. 44 00:01:53,391 --> 00:01:55,098 I believe in you and I love you, Guillermo. 45 00:01:55,109 --> 00:01:56,758 Come on, Gizmo, let her rip. 46 00:01:56,769 --> 00:01:58,639 Launch yourself forward, see what happens. 47 00:01:58,650 --> 00:02:00,791 - We should practice closer to the floor first. - No. 48 00:02:00,802 --> 00:02:03,543 No, no, no. You will never fly unless you need to. 49 00:02:03,553 --> 00:02:06,053 Panic is the secret ingredient. Now, come on. 50 00:02:08,558 --> 00:02:10,596 [BREATHING SHAKILY] 51 00:02:10,637 --> 00:02:12,533 Aah... 52 00:02:12,566 --> 00:02:14,718 - [GASPS] - [CHUCKLES] 53 00:02:15,004 --> 00:02:16,624 I'm doing it! [LAUGHS] 54 00:02:16,635 --> 00:02:18,305 - [NANDOR] Guillermo? - Yes, Master... 55 00:02:18,316 --> 00:02:20,345 - [SCREAMING] - [LASZLO LAUGHING] 56 00:02:20,356 --> 00:02:22,843 - That's how we all learned. - [GUILLERMO WHIMPERING] 57 00:02:22,854 --> 00:02:24,759 ["YOU'RE DEAD" BY NORMA TANEGA PLAYING] 58 00:02:24,770 --> 00:02:27,585 ? Don't sing if you want to live long ? 59 00:02:27,596 --> 00:02:29,969 ? They have no use for your song ? 60 00:02:30,556 --> 00:02:33,177 ? You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ? 61 00:02:33,188 --> 00:02:36,092 ? You're dead and out of this world ? 62 00:02:37,104 --> 00:02:40,144 ? Now your hope and compassion is gone ? 63 00:02:40,155 --> 00:02:42,928 ? You sold out your dream to the world ? 64 00:02:42,961 --> 00:02:45,540 ? Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ? 65 00:02:45,551 --> 00:02:47,739 ? You're dead and out of this world. ? 66 00:02:47,750 --> 00:02:49,955 ? ? 67 00:02:57,336 --> 00:02:59,367 - [NANDOR] Oh, shit. - [GUILLERMO WHIMPERING] 68 00:02:59,378 --> 00:03:02,406 What is this screaming? Is someone squeezing a snake? 69 00:03:02,417 --> 00:03:05,528 - Oh. Fucking hell. - [NANDOR] What happened? 70 00:03:05,539 --> 00:03:08,171 Well, I don't know. I was in the library. Don't look at me. 71 00:03:08,182 --> 00:03:11,388 Does it hurt? Because it looks like it really hurts. 72 00:03:11,399 --> 00:03:12,752 - Hey, boners. - [LASZLO] What? 73 00:03:12,763 --> 00:03:14,532 Nice shiner, Colin Robinson. 74 00:03:14,543 --> 00:03:17,382 Hey, look at this dude. 75 00:03:17,393 --> 00:03:19,222 [NADJA] Someone's had an interesting evening. 76 00:03:19,233 --> 00:03:20,770 - Please help me. - [COLIN] Wow. 77 00:03:20,803 --> 00:03:22,540 What happened to dingus' foot? 78 00:03:22,551 --> 00:03:23,782 [LASZLO] Who gives a fuck? Tell us 79 00:03:23,792 --> 00:03:25,280 what happened to your blackened eye. 80 00:03:25,291 --> 00:03:26,838 Yes, was it fisticuffs? 81 00:03:26,849 --> 00:03:28,552 [GASPS] Did you get kicked by a donkey? 82 00:03:28,563 --> 00:03:30,865 Stop guessing and stop grabbing me. 83 00:03:30,876 --> 00:03:31,970 This is the problem. 84 00:03:31,981 --> 00:03:33,885 Take it easy, summer breezy. 85 00:03:33,896 --> 00:03:35,967 [COLIN] Every time I go to drain someone, 86 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:38,427 they see my black eye and want to know what happened. 87 00:03:38,438 --> 00:03:42,458 All of a sudden, I'm too... G-damn interesting to drain anyone. 88 00:03:42,469 --> 00:03:44,099 - What the fuck? - [NANDOR] Really? 89 00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:45,970 You think you are too interesting? 90 00:03:45,981 --> 00:03:47,509 I know I am. I mean, 91 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:50,624 this exact same thing happened when I came back from Vietnam. 92 00:03:50,635 --> 00:03:51,695 [NANDOR] Whoa. 93 00:03:51,706 --> 00:03:54,247 - You were in 'Nam? - [LASZLO] Well, thank you for your service. 94 00:03:54,258 --> 00:03:56,844 Colin Robinson, I had no idea you were in the Army. 95 00:03:56,855 --> 00:03:58,802 Oh, I-I wasn't in the Army. 96 00:03:58,813 --> 00:04:01,919 About six years ago, I took a cycling trip with Backroads. 97 00:04:01,952 --> 00:04:03,909 - [GROANS] - On the third day, we found 98 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,904 a dead body. In a tree. 99 00:04:05,915 --> 00:04:09,267 - [NANDOR] No kidding? - With an ox's asshole 100 00:04:09,446 --> 00:04:11,861 around its neck like a necklace. 101 00:04:11,872 --> 00:04:13,569 - What? - How did that happen? 102 00:04:13,580 --> 00:04:16,285 Some poor farmer and his ox must've stepped 103 00:04:16,296 --> 00:04:18,307 on a decommissioned land mine and... 104 00:04:18,318 --> 00:04:20,790 blew him up into the tree and the ox's 105 00:04:20,801 --> 00:04:22,571 asshole must've landed on his head. 106 00:04:22,626 --> 00:04:24,036 - [LASZLO] Good grief. - Fascinating. 107 00:04:24,047 --> 00:04:25,889 I wasn't expecting that ending. 108 00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,772 [COLIN] See? It's the black eye... makes 109 00:04:27,783 --> 00:04:29,597 - my stories too interesting. - Do you think 110 00:04:29,608 --> 00:04:32,201 that your black eye also has a very interesting story? 111 00:04:32,212 --> 00:04:35,922 Unfortunately, yes, it's fucking remarkable. 112 00:04:35,933 --> 00:04:37,145 [LASZLO] But this is Colin Robinson. 113 00:04:37,156 --> 00:04:39,689 I mean, he can't have any more fascinating stories in him. 114 00:04:39,700 --> 00:04:42,940 Gee, you tell me. A five-pound frozen block 115 00:04:42,951 --> 00:04:45,891 of shit and piss fall off a plane, landing 116 00:04:45,902 --> 00:04:48,633 - on a 308 Ferrari... - [NADJA] No way. 117 00:04:48,644 --> 00:04:51,328 ... and blowing the sideview mirror right into my kisser. 118 00:04:51,339 --> 00:04:54,280 Well, fuck my old boots. Son of a bitch! 119 00:04:54,291 --> 00:04:57,753 - Frozen blocks of pisses and shits? - [COLIN] Yes. 120 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,386 - What will they think of next? - [GUILLERMO MOANING] 121 00:04:59,397 --> 00:05:01,293 Guillermo, oi... 122 00:05:01,867 --> 00:05:03,473 No, fuck this, I want to stay here 123 00:05:03,484 --> 00:05:05,334 and listen to his wonderful stories. 124 00:05:05,345 --> 00:05:07,641 - Yes, me too. - Guillermo is your familiar. 125 00:05:07,652 --> 00:05:11,613 I just went to get him new trousers a year ago. It is your turn. 126 00:05:11,624 --> 00:05:13,328 Fine. Fuck it. Whatever. 127 00:05:13,361 --> 00:05:15,666 Okay, Guillermo, stop lying around. 128 00:05:15,699 --> 00:05:17,804 Let's get that (SPEAKS GREEK) of yours looked at. 129 00:05:17,837 --> 00:05:19,855 [LASZLO] Come on, boys, to the lab. 130 00:05:19,866 --> 00:05:22,614 - Tell me more about this ox's anus. - [GUILLERMO] It really hurts. 131 00:05:22,625 --> 00:05:24,612 Okay already, I said we're going. 132 00:05:24,623 --> 00:05:26,144 Oh! Laszlo, my love, 133 00:05:26,155 --> 00:05:27,885 did you just see a hairy frog? 134 00:05:27,896 --> 00:05:29,599 The only hairy frog I'm interested in, 135 00:05:29,610 --> 00:05:31,914 my darling, is the one between your legs. 136 00:05:31,925 --> 00:05:33,245 It's not just a frog. 137 00:05:33,256 --> 00:05:35,227 - It's the whole swamp. - True. 138 00:05:35,238 --> 00:05:36,842 [LAUGHS] Come on. 139 00:05:36,853 --> 00:05:38,338 Off you go, my love. 140 00:05:38,349 --> 00:05:40,851 [DOOR OPENS, CLOSES] 141 00:05:40,862 --> 00:05:42,409 [WHISTLES] 142 00:05:42,420 --> 00:05:45,002 Where are you? Come on, boy. [WHISTLES] 143 00:05:45,013 --> 00:05:48,788 Come on, boy. Where the fuck are you, you fucking frog? 144 00:05:49,198 --> 00:05:51,217 Are either of you allergic to penicillin? 145 00:05:51,228 --> 00:05:52,963 - No. - What is that? 146 00:05:52,974 --> 00:05:54,351 Just ragweed 147 00:05:54,362 --> 00:05:56,144 - and chewing gum. - Chewing gum? 148 00:05:56,155 --> 00:05:57,324 How unusual. 149 00:05:57,335 --> 00:05:58,942 - That is unusual. - Guys, guys. 150 00:05:58,953 --> 00:06:00,414 You're literally killing me. 151 00:06:00,425 --> 00:06:02,916 Right, let's crack on. When I flick this switch, 152 00:06:02,927 --> 00:06:05,533 the lights will flash, there'll be a horrible noise and a terrible odor 153 00:06:05,544 --> 00:06:07,779 as I transfer the life energy from Nandor 154 00:06:07,790 --> 00:06:09,073 into Colin Robinson. 155 00:06:09,106 --> 00:06:11,226 Sorry, Laszlo, I do have one question. 156 00:06:11,237 --> 00:06:13,237 - [LASZLO] Which is? - Will it hurt? 157 00:06:13,248 --> 00:06:14,810 Pain like you've never known. 158 00:06:14,821 --> 00:06:17,044 And furthermore, if you're overdrained, you could die. 159 00:06:17,055 --> 00:06:18,494 Fuck this, I'm out. 160 00:06:18,505 --> 00:06:19,795 - What? - W-Wait a minute. 161 00:06:19,806 --> 00:06:22,254 - I'm starving. - And you will be fed, Colin Robinson. 162 00:06:22,265 --> 00:06:24,303 But I think we should revert to our original plan. 163 00:06:24,314 --> 00:06:27,353 - The original plan? Are you mad? - [NANDOR] I think it's a pretty good plan. 164 00:06:27,364 --> 00:06:29,298 We cover your black eye with makeup 165 00:06:29,309 --> 00:06:30,583 and make you boring again. 166 00:06:30,594 --> 00:06:32,843 It does seem a lot simpler. 167 00:06:32,854 --> 00:06:34,858 - Let's do that. - [LASZLO] All right. 168 00:06:34,891 --> 00:06:36,729 - Cowards. - [COLIN] Makes sense. 169 00:06:36,740 --> 00:06:39,227 Turn your back on science at your own peril. 170 00:06:39,238 --> 00:06:41,419 - We'll take our chances. Thank you, Laszlo. - Yeah. 171 00:06:41,430 --> 00:06:43,130 [GUILLERMO] [GRUNTS] Seriously, Nadja, 172 00:06:43,141 --> 00:06:45,112 I don't need urgent care. I can just sleep it off. 173 00:06:45,145 --> 00:06:46,822 Do you really think I want to doing this? 174 00:06:46,833 --> 00:06:49,075 If it was up to me, I would have just packed your ankle 175 00:06:49,086 --> 00:06:50,890 in some mud made from fish piss 176 00:06:50,923 --> 00:06:52,707 and fed you some pickled pig's ears. 177 00:06:52,718 --> 00:06:55,840 But, no, my husband thinks a doctor is better. 178 00:06:55,851 --> 00:06:57,937 [IMITATES LASZLO] "Trust the science, my darling." 179 00:06:57,948 --> 00:06:59,295 - [SPITS] - [GUILLERMO] I don't know what's going on 180 00:06:59,306 --> 00:07:01,211 with my body right now, but if a doctor finds out 181 00:07:01,244 --> 00:07:03,281 that I'm almost a vampire, I'm a dead man. 182 00:07:03,314 --> 00:07:05,452 And if Nadja finds out, it'll be worse, so... 183 00:07:05,485 --> 00:07:08,127 - [SHRIEKS] - Stop squirming, Guillermo, we're very close now. 184 00:07:08,138 --> 00:07:09,560 No, you know what? I feel a lot better. 185 00:07:09,571 --> 00:07:12,154 The vampire doctor is going to fix your mangled foot. 186 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,070 What? You said we were going to urgent care. 187 00:07:14,103 --> 00:07:18,480 - Yes, Familiar Urgent Care, silly. - No. No, Nadja, no! 188 00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:24,491 Oh, just look at all these people to feed from. 189 00:07:24,502 --> 00:07:26,973 I don't know, I kind of feel like I want go home 190 00:07:26,984 --> 00:07:29,764 - and take the train to sleepy town. - No! 191 00:07:29,775 --> 00:07:31,880 It would be a sleep of death. 192 00:07:31,891 --> 00:07:34,387 Just take a look at all these losers, hmm? 193 00:07:34,398 --> 00:07:36,047 [COLIN] Outdoor diners. 194 00:07:36,058 --> 00:07:38,129 - They do deserve it. - [NANDOR] Yes. 195 00:07:38,184 --> 00:07:40,754 - Great start. - Uh, excuse me. 196 00:07:40,765 --> 00:07:41,770 Hello. 197 00:07:41,803 --> 00:07:44,407 I notice you have a d... Oh. Ooh. 198 00:07:44,418 --> 00:07:46,222 - You got this. - [COLIN] Doggie bag. 199 00:07:46,233 --> 00:07:49,073 Interesting story about how the... 200 00:07:49,084 --> 00:07:52,227 origin of the doggie bag started. 201 00:07:52,238 --> 00:07:54,918 It was actually a... Ow! 202 00:07:54,929 --> 00:07:56,900 - [MAN] Oh, shit! - [COLIN] Son of a bitch! 203 00:07:56,933 --> 00:07:59,171 World War II, they would 204 00:07:59,182 --> 00:08:01,153 - take food home for their dog... - [WOMAN] Did you see that? 205 00:08:01,208 --> 00:08:03,547 - ... instead of wasting it. - [PEOPLE CHATTERING] 206 00:08:03,914 --> 00:08:06,491 Don't look at me! This isn't interesting. 207 00:08:06,502 --> 00:08:07,651 What have you done? 208 00:08:07,662 --> 00:08:10,248 Someone ran over my foot, shithead. It hurt. 209 00:08:10,259 --> 00:08:13,536 - Tell them to go away. - Nothing interesting here. Keep moving, please. 210 00:08:13,547 --> 00:08:14,775 Stop filming me! 211 00:08:14,786 --> 00:08:16,869 - Are you okay? - No, I'm not okay. 212 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:18,745 Shoo! He needs privacy. 213 00:08:18,756 --> 00:08:20,894 - It is fine. - [COLIN] Nandor, take me home. 214 00:08:20,905 --> 00:08:22,209 I'm taking you home. We're gonna go home. 215 00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:24,073 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? 216 00:08:24,084 --> 00:08:26,548 - No! - [MAN] What the fuck? That's the dude from Mad Men. 217 00:08:26,559 --> 00:08:29,186 - Oh, for fuck's sake. - [MAN 2] Oh, where's your martini, bud? 218 00:08:29,197 --> 00:08:30,733 - Hi. - [COLIN] You got to be kidding me. 219 00:08:30,744 --> 00:08:33,044 [MAN 2] Damn, you just got hit by John Slattery. 220 00:08:33,055 --> 00:08:34,196 - That is crazy. - What the heck happened? 221 00:08:34,207 --> 00:08:35,623 You stepped off the curb without even looking. 222 00:08:35,634 --> 00:08:37,471 What happened is you ran over my foot! 223 00:08:37,482 --> 00:08:39,277 We really need to go. My friend is not well. 224 00:08:39,288 --> 00:08:40,858 Let me drive you to the hospital. I-I just 225 00:08:40,869 --> 00:08:43,105 played a-a doctor on a season of The Good Fight. 226 00:08:43,116 --> 00:08:45,093 - They love me over there. - That was a really good episode. 227 00:08:45,104 --> 00:08:46,988 It doesn't even really hurt that much 228 00:08:46,999 --> 00:08:48,390 - anymore. - Well, I'll-I'll drive you home, please? 229 00:08:48,401 --> 00:08:50,269 - It's the least I can do. - You know what? 230 00:08:50,280 --> 00:08:52,065 We will accept your generous offer. 231 00:08:52,076 --> 00:08:53,647 - Yes, yes. - What the fuck are you doing? 232 00:08:53,680 --> 00:08:56,526 - [MAN] Hey, John, over here. - We will be in that car alone 233 00:08:56,537 --> 00:08:58,931 with this gentleman that owes you a debt. 234 00:08:58,942 --> 00:09:02,004 Which you will collect by feeding. 235 00:09:02,015 --> 00:09:03,474 - Hmm? - Yeah. 236 00:09:03,485 --> 00:09:06,675 John Slattery coming to the aid of the guy he just ran over. 237 00:09:06,686 --> 00:09:08,200 - Shotgun left. - Fuck! 238 00:09:08,211 --> 00:09:10,347 - John Slattery, please. - [MAN] You're a hero, John. 239 00:09:10,358 --> 00:09:12,272 - [MAN 2] One of the greats. - [COLIN] He's not one of the greats. 240 00:09:12,283 --> 00:09:14,154 - He's a reckless driver. - [MAN] You're a reckless 241 00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,741 - walker. - Peasants, disperse! 242 00:09:15,752 --> 00:09:16,888 - Begone! - [MAN] He call us peasants? 243 00:09:16,899 --> 00:09:18,334 - [CROWD GROANS] - [MAN] Oh, rude. 244 00:09:18,970 --> 00:09:21,680 [GUILLERMO] Animal hospital? Why are we-why are we going here? 245 00:09:21,691 --> 00:09:23,324 Ow! [GRUNTING] 246 00:09:23,335 --> 00:09:26,000 - [WHISPERING] This is for pets. I'm not a dog. - Shh! Potato, "potahto." 247 00:09:26,011 --> 00:09:28,860 [NORMAL VOLUME] Um, yes, hello, um, I've got a broken familiar. 248 00:09:28,871 --> 00:09:31,724 - So, you're gonna want to go around that corner... - Yeah, I've been here before. 249 00:09:31,735 --> 00:09:33,860 There is nothing to see here. 250 00:09:33,893 --> 00:09:37,734 It is just a Doberman with a floppy tail. 251 00:09:38,450 --> 00:09:39,953 - Hold on tight. - Wait, where are we going? 252 00:09:39,964 --> 00:09:41,297 - Uh, through the wall. - No, no stop! 253 00:09:41,308 --> 00:09:42,712 - That's a solid wall. - No, it's not. 254 00:09:42,723 --> 00:09:46,662 No. No! No! [GASPING] Okay. 255 00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:48,877 - That was kind of cool. - It's just a common cold, so there's gonna be sneezing 256 00:09:48,923 --> 00:09:51,824 and coughing and that is gonna be a burden on you, 257 00:09:51,835 --> 00:09:55,206 so I have a recommendation. And that is put her down. 258 00:09:55,217 --> 00:09:58,858 - Oh, gosh, you really think so? - [DOCTOR] Even if she recovers 259 00:09:58,869 --> 00:10:01,014 from this cold, she's... 260 00:10:01,025 --> 00:10:02,845 good God, she's, like, almost 40. 261 00:10:02,856 --> 00:10:04,744 She might squeeze out a few more good years, 262 00:10:04,755 --> 00:10:06,626 but we're talking quality of life. 263 00:10:06,637 --> 00:10:08,173 Okay, let's do it. 264 00:10:08,178 --> 00:10:09,806 No, fuck this. I'm out of here. 265 00:10:09,830 --> 00:10:11,851 Oh, calm, down, it'll be okay. 266 00:10:11,862 --> 00:10:13,198 No! 267 00:10:13,209 --> 00:10:16,052 [NADJA] Got a live one. [LAUGHS] Thanks, guys. 268 00:10:16,063 --> 00:10:17,948 - [DOCTOR] Sedate him, Jack. - No. 269 00:10:17,959 --> 00:10:19,663 - [NADJA] Fantastic. - [DOCTOR] That's it. 270 00:10:19,718 --> 00:10:21,054 [NADJA] Aw. 271 00:10:21,242 --> 00:10:22,649 Sweet dreams, Guillermo. 272 00:10:22,660 --> 00:10:24,476 - [LAUGHS] - [DOCTOR] Yeah, perfect. 273 00:10:25,270 --> 00:10:27,033 [JOHN] You, uh, you okay back there? 274 00:10:27,066 --> 00:10:28,703 You look like shit. 275 00:10:28,714 --> 00:10:31,658 Well, yeah, I mean, you ran over my foot. 276 00:10:31,669 --> 00:10:33,956 Sorry about all the cell phone pictures and stuff. 277 00:10:33,967 --> 00:10:35,376 You know, you would that people in New York 278 00:10:35,387 --> 00:10:37,337 would have seen a famous actor before. 279 00:10:37,348 --> 00:10:39,806 It is quite all right, John Slattery. 280 00:10:39,817 --> 00:10:41,547 You have our gratitude. 281 00:10:41,558 --> 00:10:43,529 [WHISPERS] Drain him. 282 00:10:43,605 --> 00:10:46,568 [NORMAL VOLUME] Do you find it, uh, difficult? 283 00:10:47,168 --> 00:10:50,046 - What? - Do you find it difficult 284 00:10:50,079 --> 00:10:52,050 being an older actor? 285 00:10:52,061 --> 00:10:54,065 Having to memorize lines? 286 00:10:54,076 --> 00:10:56,014 Especially when you've been drinking. 287 00:10:56,025 --> 00:10:58,665 Slattery... that's an Irish name, right? 288 00:10:58,676 --> 00:11:00,193 Wait, s-say that last part again. 289 00:11:00,204 --> 00:11:02,727 What, "Slattery's an Irish name"? 290 00:11:02,738 --> 00:11:06,243 I mean, I personally don't mind the Irish. 291 00:11:06,254 --> 00:11:09,450 But I just don't like it when they try to sound intelligent. 292 00:11:09,461 --> 00:11:11,410 Huh, wow. 293 00:11:11,942 --> 00:11:15,044 - I could listen to you talk for hours. - Exsqueeze me? 294 00:11:15,055 --> 00:11:17,170 I mean, not to what you're saying, but to that accent. 295 00:11:17,181 --> 00:11:19,547 It's just so specific. Where are you from? 296 00:11:19,558 --> 00:11:21,727 - Well... - Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Upper Midwest. 297 00:11:21,738 --> 00:11:23,980 For sure. Uh, Wisconsin? 298 00:11:24,013 --> 00:11:25,984 But not eastern Wisconsin, that would have more of 299 00:11:26,017 --> 00:11:28,088 a Germanic influence to it, am I right? 300 00:11:28,121 --> 00:11:30,761 Are you, like, prepping for a role or something? 301 00:11:30,794 --> 00:11:33,232 No, this isn't for a role. I just love accents. 302 00:11:33,265 --> 00:11:35,169 People are just walking stories, you know? 303 00:11:35,202 --> 00:11:38,042 In all their fascination and specificity. 304 00:11:38,053 --> 00:11:39,266 You ever see the movie Spotlight? 305 00:11:39,277 --> 00:11:42,016 About the Boston Globe reporters 306 00:11:42,027 --> 00:11:45,835 who uncovered the sexual abuse coverup in the Catholic church? 307 00:11:45,846 --> 00:11:47,374 - Yeah, exactly. - No. 308 00:11:47,385 --> 00:11:49,860 Oh. Well, in that I played Ben Bradlee, Jr. 309 00:11:49,871 --> 00:11:52,158 And that character begins with the accent, 310 00:11:52,169 --> 00:11:54,530 because the real Bradlee is from Boston. 311 00:11:54,541 --> 00:11:56,287 But he's an upper-crust guy. 312 00:11:56,298 --> 00:11:59,978 [BOSTON ACCENT] Not like some jamoke standing around Kelly's Tavern 313 00:11:59,989 --> 00:12:02,051 in, uh, Revere Beach, you know what I mean? 314 00:12:02,062 --> 00:12:04,405 - Very good, John Slattery. - [REGULAR ACCENT] Not bad, right? 315 00:12:04,416 --> 00:12:05,683 - But I was talking to him. - Oh. 316 00:12:05,694 --> 00:12:08,191 [JOHN] You know, it's funny, I had this babysitter when I was a kid. 317 00:12:08,202 --> 00:12:09,983 She was Irish. Her name was Vivian. 318 00:12:09,994 --> 00:12:12,299 But again, sorry for your loss. 319 00:12:12,310 --> 00:12:14,833 She was just a familiar, but thank you. 320 00:12:14,844 --> 00:12:16,753 It is kind of nice to think of Cathy 321 00:12:16,786 --> 00:12:18,422 on that rainbow bridge, 322 00:12:18,456 --> 00:12:20,259 doing stuff with her familiar friends. 323 00:12:20,270 --> 00:12:22,976 Having spaghetti or whatever it is they dream of doing. 324 00:12:23,099 --> 00:12:25,246 Well, they're in a better place now. 325 00:12:25,257 --> 00:12:27,243 - Yes. - [MUTTERS] I wish I was. 326 00:12:27,254 --> 00:12:29,834 - I'm looking for a Nadja. - [NORMAL VOLUME] Oh, yes. 327 00:12:29,845 --> 00:12:31,566 - Please, can we go? - Well, 328 00:12:31,577 --> 00:12:33,902 Guillermo's ankle is healing up nicely, 329 00:12:33,913 --> 00:12:36,018 which is very unusual, so... 330 00:12:36,029 --> 00:12:39,035 just to be safe... I say we put him down. 331 00:12:39,149 --> 00:12:40,419 He could break that ankle again, 332 00:12:40,430 --> 00:12:42,381 he could break the other ankle or 333 00:12:42,392 --> 00:12:44,413 - he could just bitch a lot. - Hmm. 334 00:12:44,424 --> 00:12:46,100 Think we're just gonna take him home. 335 00:12:46,111 --> 00:12:47,937 All right. Well, that is your choice. 336 00:12:47,948 --> 00:12:49,629 - Yes. - Oh, there's one more thing. 337 00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:52,146 The results of that blood work came back and they're very odd, 338 00:12:52,157 --> 00:12:54,764 so I'm just gonna have it retested, will not take long. 339 00:12:54,775 --> 00:12:57,648 I promise I'm gonna get you out of here well before sunrise. 340 00:12:57,659 --> 00:12:58,862 [WOMAN SCREAMING IN DISTANCE] 341 00:12:59,628 --> 00:13:02,488 [NADJA] Now I'm thinking, "They're going to test him again?" 342 00:13:02,499 --> 00:13:05,517 What if they find that Van Helsing muck in his blood? [SPITS] 343 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:07,760 I'm going to have to get him out of here. 344 00:13:08,221 --> 00:13:09,959 [COLIN] Why are we heading towards 345 00:13:09,992 --> 00:13:11,496 the Verrazzano Bridge? 346 00:13:11,529 --> 00:13:13,982 Uh, are you-are you taking us to Brooklyn? 347 00:13:13,993 --> 00:13:15,802 [IMITATING COLIN] Are you taking us to Brooklyn? Are you... 348 00:13:15,813 --> 00:13:17,164 [REGULAR VOICE] That... It's really... That's a tough one. 349 00:13:17,174 --> 00:13:19,244 It's got kind of a twang to it. Say something else. 350 00:13:19,277 --> 00:13:20,900 I don't want to go to Brooklyn. 351 00:13:20,911 --> 00:13:22,615 [JOHN IMITATES COLIN] I don't want to go to Brooklyn? 352 00:13:22,626 --> 00:13:24,029 [REGULAR VOICE] There's a little bit of an uptalk there. 353 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,650 [IMITATES COLIN] I don't want to go to Brooklyn? 354 00:13:25,661 --> 00:13:27,215 - Can you let us out right h... - [IMITATING COLIN] Can you 355 00:13:27,226 --> 00:13:28,670 let us out right here, please? 356 00:13:28,681 --> 00:13:29,987 [REGULAR VOICE] You also have these interesting 357 00:13:29,998 --> 00:13:31,320 pauses in your speech, but 358 00:13:31,331 --> 00:13:34,162 I can't tell if they're regional or uniquely you or... 359 00:13:34,173 --> 00:13:35,844 It's just the most interesting accent 360 00:13:35,877 --> 00:13:37,080 - I've ever heard. - Okay, fuck this. 361 00:13:37,091 --> 00:13:39,708 [JOHN] I mean, where are you from? I'm sorry, guys. That's kind of 362 00:13:39,719 --> 00:13:41,288 mean, right? I'm not trying to make fun of you, 363 00:13:41,299 --> 00:13:42,580 I'm just trying to get it in my head, you know, 364 00:13:42,591 --> 00:13:44,127 it's all about muscle memory. 365 00:13:44,138 --> 00:13:45,542 Guillermo? 366 00:13:46,050 --> 00:13:47,135 Guillermo! 367 00:13:47,822 --> 00:13:50,139 Guillermo, why the hell are you wearing a dress? 368 00:13:50,150 --> 00:13:52,640 Hey, Nandor, you made it. Hey, girl. 369 00:13:52,651 --> 00:13:54,053 Get your shit together, we got to go. 370 00:13:54,064 --> 00:13:56,240 No, I want to lie down. You know they gave me 371 00:13:56,251 --> 00:13:58,890 some relax and it's making me feel very medicine. 372 00:13:58,923 --> 00:14:00,808 [SPEAKS GREEK] They are testing your blood 373 00:14:00,819 --> 00:14:02,839 and they're going to find your Van Helsing germs 374 00:14:02,850 --> 00:14:04,585 and whatever else you've got going on in there and then 375 00:14:04,596 --> 00:14:07,633 - they're going to kill you, so let's go! - That sounds serious. 376 00:14:07,644 --> 00:14:09,119 Can I say something? 377 00:14:09,130 --> 00:14:10,257 - Nadja? - What? 378 00:14:10,268 --> 00:14:13,108 I think you're wonderful and I love... Ow! 379 00:14:13,119 --> 00:14:17,148 You're a crazy bitch. But I love you. 380 00:14:17,159 --> 00:14:19,301 You know who else I love is Laszlo. 381 00:14:19,312 --> 00:14:20,622 But he's a horny little bitch. 382 00:14:20,633 --> 00:14:22,667 I also love Colin Robinson. 383 00:14:22,678 --> 00:14:24,530 He's, like, a little boring bitch. 384 00:14:24,541 --> 00:14:26,344 Like, he's like an LBB. 385 00:14:26,355 --> 00:14:29,194 But, you know, the one I love the most is actually Nandor. 386 00:14:29,205 --> 00:14:31,706 - Because he's, like, the queen bitch. - [TAPPING ON GLASS] 387 00:14:31,717 --> 00:14:33,037 - [NADJA EXCLAIMS] - Is that crazy? 388 00:14:33,048 --> 00:14:34,890 Hey. Who's that bitch? 389 00:14:34,901 --> 00:14:37,433 Wow, you are such a miracle worker. 390 00:14:37,444 --> 00:14:39,515 He is back to a red, shiny, 391 00:14:39,526 --> 00:14:41,531 fresh apple, so, think we're gonna get 392 00:14:41,542 --> 00:14:43,222 - the ol' dog home now. [CHUCKLES] - Yeah. 393 00:14:43,233 --> 00:14:44,470 I don't think that's gonna happen. 394 00:14:44,481 --> 00:14:45,711 I have a question for you. 395 00:14:45,722 --> 00:14:47,342 Who turned him? 396 00:14:47,982 --> 00:14:50,701 - Who what? - According to his blood, 397 00:14:50,712 --> 00:14:52,751 this familiar has been turned into a vampire. 398 00:14:52,762 --> 00:14:55,336 Yes, it's early stages, but he is well on his way. 399 00:14:55,369 --> 00:14:57,327 No, I'm sorry, there's been a huge mistake. 400 00:14:57,338 --> 00:14:59,909 Are you regretting turning him? Because if you are, 401 00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,570 you should have thought of that before you did it. 402 00:15:02,581 --> 00:15:03,975 - Guillermo? - Yeah. 403 00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,322 - A vampire? - Yes. 404 00:15:05,355 --> 00:15:06,425 That thing? 405 00:15:06,459 --> 00:15:08,328 That loser is a vampire? 406 00:15:08,361 --> 00:15:11,334 Absolutely not. Have you seen how lame he is? 407 00:15:11,367 --> 00:15:12,790 Science does not lie. 408 00:15:12,801 --> 00:15:16,120 Now, it must be recent because he's still transforming. 409 00:15:16,131 --> 00:15:18,182 No one in our house would do such a thing. 410 00:15:18,215 --> 00:15:20,814 Well, then we have a very big problem, 'cause 411 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,489 I'm gonna put him down. 412 00:15:22,500 --> 00:15:24,684 Well, you can't do that because... 413 00:15:24,854 --> 00:15:26,047 He is our familiar! 414 00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:28,730 - You need to let him go. - Get your hands off of me! 415 00:15:30,850 --> 00:15:31,942 [EXHALES] 416 00:15:31,953 --> 00:15:34,047 Guillermo? Guillermo? 417 00:15:35,401 --> 00:15:36,893 Guillermo! 418 00:15:36,904 --> 00:15:39,527 Guillermo! Guillermo! 419 00:15:41,420 --> 00:15:44,886 Guillermo! Guillermo, snap out of it. 420 00:15:44,897 --> 00:15:47,832 They think you are a bastard vampire and they're going to kill you. 421 00:15:47,843 --> 00:15:49,625 - Guillermo? - [DOCTOR] Come on, girl. 422 00:15:49,636 --> 00:15:50,784 Get out! 423 00:15:51,179 --> 00:15:52,487 Guillermo. 424 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,759 Guillermo? Hello? 425 00:15:55,063 --> 00:15:57,397 Sorry. [CHUCKLES] Guillermo? 426 00:15:58,136 --> 00:15:59,636 Guillermo? 427 00:15:59,833 --> 00:16:01,595 Nadja, hi. 428 00:16:01,606 --> 00:16:03,276 What? You work here? 429 00:16:03,309 --> 00:16:05,355 Volunteer, actually. 430 00:16:05,366 --> 00:16:07,217 It's a way of giving back. 431 00:16:07,250 --> 00:16:09,937 I mean, who rescued who, right? 432 00:16:09,948 --> 00:16:12,093 - Have you seen Guillermo? - Guillermo? 433 00:16:12,104 --> 00:16:13,742 Oh, no, no, not here. 434 00:16:13,819 --> 00:16:15,723 This place is just for strays. 435 00:16:15,734 --> 00:16:18,272 - I have a family. - Hey! Eat your chicken! 436 00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:20,510 - [WHISPERS] He's not gonna make it. - I can hear you. 437 00:16:20,900 --> 00:16:22,648 Guillermo! Open! 438 00:16:22,774 --> 00:16:24,061 Guillermo. 439 00:16:24,916 --> 00:16:27,178 [COLIN] Uh, I don't... think I can make it. 440 00:16:27,189 --> 00:16:29,394 [NANDOR] Of course you're gonna make it. I know this is difficult, 441 00:16:29,427 --> 00:16:31,566 but you've got to be strong, okay? 442 00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:35,300 I want you to go in here and ask to use the toilet. 443 00:16:35,311 --> 00:16:38,528 Then I want you to ask for a sanitary wipe. 444 00:16:38,539 --> 00:16:39,838 Then I want you to ask 445 00:16:39,871 --> 00:16:41,808 when the last time they cleaned the toilet. 446 00:16:41,819 --> 00:16:43,389 Then I want you to tell them 447 00:16:43,406 --> 00:16:45,330 you're gonna take a nice big shit, okay? 448 00:16:45,341 --> 00:16:47,091 It's gonna buy you a few more hours of energy. 449 00:16:47,102 --> 00:16:49,858 - Whoa! Get the fuck out! - [COLIN] Oh, fuck. 450 00:16:49,869 --> 00:16:52,540 - May I use your toilet? - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 451 00:16:53,421 --> 00:16:54,679 Yo! 452 00:16:54,712 --> 00:16:56,683 It's my guy from TikTok. 453 00:16:56,716 --> 00:16:58,034 What? 454 00:16:58,371 --> 00:17:00,733 Whoa! Nobody fucking move. 455 00:17:03,645 --> 00:17:06,299 - ? Jump around... ? - [NANDOR] Colin Robinson, that's you. 456 00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:07,819 - [COLIN] Oh, for crying out loud. - Yeah. 457 00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:10,393 [NANDOR] How did they make this so quick? And the music? 458 00:17:10,404 --> 00:17:11,775 Aah! 459 00:17:11,812 --> 00:17:13,021 [NANDOR] Nice shot. 460 00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:15,573 Thank you so much! You saved my store! 461 00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:18,214 - He did? - How clean's your toi... 462 00:17:18,225 --> 00:17:20,430 - It's... - No! 463 00:17:20,441 --> 00:17:21,773 Colin Robinson! 464 00:17:22,025 --> 00:17:24,460 - Guillermo! - You can't be back here. 465 00:17:24,471 --> 00:17:25,745 Move! 466 00:17:26,322 --> 00:17:28,293 - Fuck off! - [SCREAMS] 467 00:17:28,304 --> 00:17:30,409 - Guillermo! - Hey, girl. 468 00:17:30,617 --> 00:17:32,357 Get off him! Get away! 469 00:17:32,368 --> 00:17:35,367 - He's mine! - [GRUNTING] 470 00:17:36,024 --> 00:17:37,231 [SCREAMING] 471 00:17:37,242 --> 00:17:39,801 Get off him! Get off! 472 00:17:39,812 --> 00:17:41,983 Shoo! Scram! 473 00:17:42,574 --> 00:17:44,511 [WHIMPERING] 474 00:17:44,728 --> 00:17:45,834 Now, what the fuck, man? 475 00:17:45,845 --> 00:17:47,874 This doctor tells me you're almost a vampire? 476 00:17:47,885 --> 00:17:49,922 Oops, I have a little secret. 477 00:17:49,955 --> 00:17:52,795 - Focus, Guillermo. The truth now. - [GROANS] 478 00:17:52,828 --> 00:17:54,866 Fine! Okay? 479 00:17:55,096 --> 00:17:58,132 I took my fate into my own destiny and I had Derek do it. 480 00:17:58,143 --> 00:18:01,308 - [GASPS] - I paid him to do it. He turned me into a vampire! 481 00:18:01,319 --> 00:18:02,434 Derek? 482 00:18:02,445 --> 00:18:06,316 You could have been turned by a legendary vampire, 483 00:18:06,327 --> 00:18:09,463 and you gave it away to Derek? 484 00:18:09,474 --> 00:18:12,307 Nandor is going to rip your face into a new asshole. 485 00:18:12,318 --> 00:18:13,522 Well, it doesn't matter, does, it, 'cause these guys 486 00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,729 - are gonna kill me anyways. - Oh shut up, you dumb dick. 487 00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:18,773 I'm not gonna let them kill you. That is Nandor's privilege. 488 00:18:18,784 --> 00:18:20,755 - Now, come on, let's go. - [DOOR OPENS] 489 00:18:21,406 --> 00:18:23,377 I told you, we need to put him down. 490 00:18:23,410 --> 00:18:24,943 That's not going to happen. 491 00:18:24,954 --> 00:18:26,417 He is coming with me, 492 00:18:26,428 --> 00:18:29,229 and his master will decide how to kill him. 493 00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,329 If we release an abomination like that onto the street, 494 00:18:32,340 --> 00:18:34,156 I'm gonna lose my medical license. 495 00:18:34,167 --> 00:18:36,117 [SNARLING] 496 00:18:36,128 --> 00:18:37,665 [GUILLERMO] Nadja! Watch out. 497 00:18:37,851 --> 00:18:40,422 - [GROANING] - [GRUNTING] 498 00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:45,192 [NADJA] Help me, you load. 499 00:18:46,836 --> 00:18:48,840 - Oh, whoa. - [GASPS] Good one, Guillermo! 500 00:18:48,873 --> 00:18:50,168 - Ow. - Yes! 501 00:18:50,648 --> 00:18:51,713 Nice one. 502 00:18:51,928 --> 00:18:53,698 - Ha! - Watch out! 503 00:18:53,716 --> 00:18:55,051 [GRUNTING] 504 00:18:56,884 --> 00:18:58,388 [HISSES] 505 00:18:58,399 --> 00:19:00,103 [GRUNTING] 506 00:19:00,114 --> 00:19:01,316 [GUILLERMO] Don't touch her! 507 00:19:02,246 --> 00:19:05,286 - No! - [GRUNTING] 508 00:19:05,439 --> 00:19:07,477 [NADJA] You're just a glorified vet. 509 00:19:07,510 --> 00:19:09,448 [GRUNTS] Guillermo! 510 00:19:09,481 --> 00:19:12,022 - Nadja! - [GRUNTING] 511 00:19:12,033 --> 00:19:14,647 Get away from her, you bitch! 512 00:19:14,658 --> 00:19:18,279 Oh! [GROANS, GRUNTS] 513 00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:21,246 [EXHALES] [SLURRING] Thank you, Girerro. 514 00:19:21,257 --> 00:19:24,890 Oh. I think I might've got a little bit of poison in my face. 515 00:19:24,901 --> 00:19:26,571 Do I look okay? 516 00:19:26,889 --> 00:19:29,689 - Yeah. You look... you look fine. - Good. 517 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,609 Now go and find your clothes and I'll... 518 00:19:31,620 --> 00:19:33,157 [SPEAKING UNINTELLIGIBLY] 519 00:19:33,168 --> 00:19:34,838 Let's go. 520 00:19:36,648 --> 00:19:38,773 Laszlo! Laszlo! 521 00:19:38,806 --> 00:19:40,611 - What is it, man? - Help! 522 00:19:40,644 --> 00:19:42,714 Quick, to the laboratory. 523 00:19:44,798 --> 00:19:46,778 - Laszlo, hurry. Please hurry. - All right. 524 00:19:46,789 --> 00:19:48,593 Now, brace yourself, fellas. 525 00:19:48,626 --> 00:19:49,862 Turning the machine 526 00:19:49,895 --> 00:19:51,832 - on. - [GROANING] 527 00:19:54,267 --> 00:19:56,520 - [COUGHING] - Is it working? Do you feel good? 528 00:19:56,531 --> 00:19:57,660 [COUGHING] 529 00:19:57,671 --> 00:20:01,737 - It hurt at first, but now I kind of like it. - Yeah. 530 00:20:01,747 --> 00:20:04,725 - [GROANING SOFTLY] - What exactly is the purpose of this machine? 531 00:20:04,758 --> 00:20:07,530 It's just a simple energy transference device. 532 00:20:07,541 --> 00:20:10,513 I originally built it to combat situational impotence, 533 00:20:10,524 --> 00:20:13,131 or whiskey dick, as you might call it. 534 00:20:13,142 --> 00:20:16,415 Oh, that makes sense, 'cause I'm getting a little 535 00:20:16,448 --> 00:20:18,085 tickle in my pickle. 536 00:20:18,096 --> 00:20:20,118 Well, that's an accident, 'cause I removed that aspect. 537 00:20:20,129 --> 00:20:21,948 - Must be the vibrations. - Could be. 538 00:20:21,959 --> 00:20:23,616 Or could be the smell. 539 00:20:23,627 --> 00:20:26,012 I really like the smell of burning hair. 540 00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:27,058 What about you, Nandor? 541 00:20:27,069 --> 00:20:28,974 How are you finding it? 542 00:20:29,007 --> 00:20:30,097 Oh, fuck. 543 00:20:33,608 --> 00:20:35,579 - [MACHINE BUZZING] - Shit. Turning the machine off. 544 00:20:35,590 --> 00:20:36,593 [MACHINE POWERS DOWN] 545 00:20:37,068 --> 00:20:38,823 Reverse the process, Laszlo. 546 00:20:38,834 --> 00:20:40,468 Well, I can't. It's too late, isn't it? 547 00:20:40,524 --> 00:20:42,361 - Look at him. Shit. - [NADJA] [IN DISTANCE] Laszlo! 548 00:20:42,372 --> 00:20:43,774 - Get fucking downstairs! - Shit. 549 00:20:43,807 --> 00:20:46,960 - Go ahead. I'll reenergize Nandor myself. - How? 550 00:20:46,971 --> 00:20:49,084 - [NADJA] Laszlo! - Well, if I can drain the energy from people, 551 00:20:49,095 --> 00:20:50,577 I sure as hell can put it back in them. 552 00:20:50,588 --> 00:20:51,734 - Just go. Trust me. - [NADJA] Get downstairs! 553 00:20:51,745 --> 00:20:53,683 - Coming, my darling. - [NADJA] Don't you "darling" me. 554 00:20:53,694 --> 00:20:55,565 [LASZLO] Would I be wrong in sensing some... 555 00:20:55,576 --> 00:20:57,714 - [SINGSONGY] Nandor? Hello. - [NADJA SHOUTING IN DISTANCE] 556 00:20:57,769 --> 00:21:00,608 It's your boy, Colin Robinson. 557 00:21:00,641 --> 00:21:05,143 But I'm going to tell you my real name. It's... 558 00:21:05,250 --> 00:21:06,470 Arthur... 559 00:21:07,528 --> 00:21:08,897 Simon... 560 00:21:08,957 --> 00:21:10,327 Santino. 561 00:21:10,361 --> 00:21:12,766 But I-I had to change it 562 00:21:12,777 --> 00:21:15,449 because people would laugh when they realized 563 00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:18,834 that the initials spelled out "ass." 564 00:21:18,911 --> 00:21:20,280 [GASPS] 565 00:21:20,291 --> 00:21:21,795 [WEAKLY] Ass. 566 00:21:21,806 --> 00:21:24,244 Do you know who it was that pointed that out to me? 567 00:21:24,255 --> 00:21:27,463 - [WEAKLY] No. - It was my ex-boyfriend, 568 00:21:27,474 --> 00:21:29,287 - Davy Crockett. - [EXHALES] 569 00:21:29,298 --> 00:21:30,768 At the Alamo. 570 00:21:31,703 --> 00:21:33,340 - Really? - Yeah. 571 00:21:33,351 --> 00:21:35,221 If-if you don't believe me, 572 00:21:35,232 --> 00:21:39,206 maybe this knife that Jim Bowie gave me will convince you. 573 00:21:39,265 --> 00:21:40,734 [NANDOR] Ass. 574 00:21:43,158 --> 00:21:45,553 - [LASZLO] My darling, you need to calm down. - I mean, what the hell? 575 00:21:45,564 --> 00:21:47,029 - [SHUSHING] - We have a little two-faced bitch, 576 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,806 lying-behind-the-back vampire in the house and my husband doesn't think 577 00:21:49,817 --> 00:21:51,603 - I need to know about it? - Cool it, my darling. 578 00:21:51,614 --> 00:21:53,279 I'm just trying to find a cure. 579 00:21:53,312 --> 00:21:55,585 All right? Now, if I can stop the transformation, 580 00:21:55,618 --> 00:21:57,480 maybe Nandor can turn Gizmo. 581 00:21:57,491 --> 00:22:00,343 You are a worthless piece of big, wet skat�, Guillermo. 582 00:22:00,354 --> 00:22:02,954 - Yeah. - When Nandor finds out, he's going to kill you. 583 00:22:02,965 --> 00:22:04,207 And then he's going to kill all of us. 584 00:22:04,218 --> 00:22:05,314 - Mm. - And then he's going to kill himself. 585 00:22:05,325 --> 00:22:06,521 - Then don't tell him. - I'm not going 586 00:22:06,532 --> 00:22:07,868 to lie to my housemate to cover up 587 00:22:07,879 --> 00:22:09,274 - your treachery. [SPITS] - [GUILLERMO] Just give me 588 00:22:09,285 --> 00:22:10,387 a chance to make this up. When I did this, I didn't... 589 00:22:10,398 --> 00:22:13,009 Finally. Well, well, well. 590 00:22:13,020 --> 00:22:15,491 You've been gone all night. What, you can't even call? 591 00:22:15,502 --> 00:22:16,805 Sorry. 592 00:22:16,882 --> 00:22:19,433 - They tried to put me down. - What? Why? 593 00:22:19,466 --> 00:22:20,835 What did the doctor say? 594 00:22:20,868 --> 00:22:22,337 [LASZLO] Uh, uh, uh... 595 00:22:22,348 --> 00:22:23,651 [SIGHS] 596 00:22:23,726 --> 00:22:24,795 Yes? 597 00:22:26,076 --> 00:22:27,482 Guillermo is fine. 598 00:22:27,515 --> 00:22:29,284 Just your average weak-boned, 599 00:22:29,295 --> 00:22:31,266 - broken-foot familiar. - [NANDOR GROANS] 600 00:22:31,277 --> 00:22:34,269 I guess someone won't be cutting a rug anytime soon. 601 00:22:34,280 --> 00:22:35,650 [NANDOR] Wait. 602 00:22:36,639 --> 00:22:38,342 Don't move. 603 00:22:39,472 --> 00:22:41,476 [SHUDDERING SOFTLY] 604 00:22:43,545 --> 00:22:45,216 - [GRUNTS] - [CROAKING SOFTLY] 605 00:22:45,403 --> 00:22:46,639 What... 606 00:22:46,653 --> 00:22:48,424 the hell... 607 00:22:48,917 --> 00:22:50,921 is this? 608 00:22:53,245 --> 00:22:54,315 Hmm? 609 00:22:55,497 --> 00:22:56,666 Frog? 610 00:22:56,677 --> 00:22:58,481 [NANDOR] Really? A frog? 611 00:22:58,492 --> 00:23:01,230 A frog that flies and has hair 612 00:23:01,415 --> 00:23:03,623 and looks kind of like you? 613 00:23:05,043 --> 00:23:07,148 Guillermo, do you think I am an idiot? 614 00:23:07,159 --> 00:23:08,663 [WHISPERS] Say no. 615 00:23:08,674 --> 00:23:10,857 - [NORMAL VOLUME] No. - [NANDOR] That's right. 616 00:23:11,210 --> 00:23:13,996 Because this is precisely what happens 617 00:23:14,007 --> 00:23:16,814 when a little birdy sneaks into this house, 618 00:23:16,847 --> 00:23:19,519 fucks a mouse, they have a child that grows up 619 00:23:19,530 --> 00:23:21,935 that then fucks a frog that looks like you. 620 00:23:22,012 --> 00:23:25,485 [SIGHS] This is a direct result of your slacking. 621 00:23:25,496 --> 00:23:28,219 We are not running a fucking circus here. 622 00:23:28,230 --> 00:23:29,966 - [CROAKING SOFTLY] - Yeesh. 623 00:23:30,941 --> 00:23:32,506 Give him to me. 624 00:23:32,517 --> 00:23:34,331 You may have fooled him, 625 00:23:34,342 --> 00:23:37,523 'cause he has the IQ of a Russian toilet, 626 00:23:37,534 --> 00:23:39,681 but I know you're up to something, aren't you, 627 00:23:39,692 --> 00:23:41,496 you little sneaky Pete? 628 00:23:45,296 --> 00:23:46,665 Okay, Colin, 629 00:23:46,795 --> 00:23:48,250 - if I tell you something... - [COLIN] Psych. 630 00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:50,100 I couldn't give two squirts. 631 00:23:53,773 --> 00:23:55,910 ? It's in the blood, man ? 632 00:23:58,430 --> 00:24:00,634 ? It's in the blood ? 633 00:24:02,778 --> 00:24:04,950 ? It's in the blood, man ? 634 00:24:05,248 --> 00:24:07,722 - ? It's in the blood... ? - [FROG] Gui... 635 00:24:07,755 --> 00:24:11,229 - ller... mo. - Surely not. 636 00:24:11,240 --> 00:24:12,447 Gui... 637 00:24:12,458 --> 00:24:14,896 ller... mo. 638 00:24:14,929 --> 00:24:16,473 - [CROAKS] - [LAUGHS] 639 00:24:16,484 --> 00:24:18,425 Yeah. Carry on. 640 00:24:18,436 --> 00:24:20,042 ? It's in the blood, man ? 641 00:24:20,727 --> 00:24:22,665 ? It's in the blood, man ? 642 00:24:22,758 --> 00:24:24,604 ? It's in the blood, man ? 643 00:24:24,615 --> 00:24:26,619 ? Get it or not ? 644 00:24:27,614 --> 00:24:29,185 ? It's in the blood, man ? 645 00:24:29,459 --> 00:24:32,026 ? It's in the blood, man ? 646 00:24:32,130 --> 00:24:33,556 ? It's in the blood, man ? 647 00:24:33,567 --> 00:24:35,871 ? Tell him or not ? 648 00:24:37,000 --> 00:24:43,074 Do you want subtitles for any video? -=[ ai.OpenSubtitles.com ]=- 649 00:24:45,691 --> 00:24:48,118 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? If you catch the cure ? 650 00:24:48,129 --> 00:24:50,577 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? If you catch the cure... ? 651 00:24:50,588 --> 00:24:54,530 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? You can tell without knowing ? 652 00:24:54,769 --> 00:24:57,102 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? If you catch the cure ? 653 00:24:57,113 --> 00:24:59,417 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? If you catch the cure... ? 654 00:24:59,428 --> 00:25:01,399 ? It's in the blood, man. ? 655 00:25:01,449 --> 00:25:05,999 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 49926

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.