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1
00:00:08,925 --> 00:00:10,593
[jazz music]
2
00:00:10,635 --> 00:00:14,848
- ? Whatever Lola wants ?
3
00:00:14,889 --> 00:00:18,560
? Lola gets ?
4
00:00:18,601 --> 00:00:21,980
- Hi, there.
- I don't think so.
5
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,690
- Champagne?
- Not tonight.
6
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,650
- [sighs]
7
00:00:26,568 --> 00:00:28,945
- ? Make up your mind ?
- What's this?
8
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,239
- Dale and soda.
9
00:00:31,281 --> 00:00:35,201
- ? No regrets ?
10
00:00:35,243 --> 00:00:37,120
? Recline yourself ?
11
00:00:37,162 --> 00:00:38,872
- What do I owe you?
12
00:00:38,913 --> 00:00:40,999
- It's on him.
13
00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:43,168
? ?
14
00:00:43,209 --> 00:00:44,878
- Oh, Jesus.
15
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:47,714
- Cut!
- That's a cut.
16
00:00:47,756 --> 00:00:49,358
- What the fuck? Where is
he? Does he know his cue?
17
00:00:49,382 --> 00:00:50,568
- He knows his cue. I
just can't find him.
18
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,302
- What do you mean
you can't find him?
19
00:00:52,344 --> 00:00:54,679
Try asking one of
his ten assistants.
20
00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:56,890
- Does anyone have
eyes on talent?
21
00:00:56,931 --> 00:00:58,850
He was just here.
22
00:00:58,892 --> 00:01:00,352
- Can I step out for a second?
23
00:01:00,393 --> 00:01:01,478
- Yeah, go.
- Thanks.
24
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:04,230
- Go ahead. Everyone,
back to one.
25
00:01:04,272 --> 00:01:07,233
[dramatic music]
26
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:07,936
? ?
27
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,383
- [screams]
28
00:01:35,970 --> 00:01:39,641
? ?
29
00:01:39,683 --> 00:01:41,685
- [sighs]
30
00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:43,603
? ?
31
00:01:43,645 --> 00:01:46,272
- Why is your trailer sideways?
- Well, there was an accident.
32
00:01:46,314 --> 00:01:48,108
- You don't have to answer.
33
00:01:48,149 --> 00:01:50,318
I know it's because
you're stupid.
34
00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,946
- So you guys know
Prada Lamonca, right?
35
00:01:52,987 --> 00:01:54,197
- Hi, I'm Jillian.
36
00:01:54,239 --> 00:01:55,424
- And you probably
don't remember me,
37
00:01:55,448 --> 00:01:56,700
but I was at your seminar.
38
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,994
- "You probably don't
remember me" was perfect.
39
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,496
- Okay, here's the deal.
40
00:02:01,538 --> 00:02:03,057
Rodney wants to launch
our supplement line
41
00:02:03,081 --> 00:02:05,500
in three months, Prada will
be overseeing production,
42
00:02:05,542 --> 00:02:07,711
and I'm the new head
manager for Predator Power.
43
00:02:07,752 --> 00:02:09,504
- What the hell
is Predator Power?
44
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,357
- Well, Rodney thought
"saw palmetto extract" had
45
00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:13,466
limp dick vibes, so we're
mixing in shark cartilage
46
00:02:13,508 --> 00:02:16,177
and changing the
name: Predator Power.
47
00:02:16,219 --> 00:02:17,429
"Get predatory."
48
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,556
- Predator as in
sexual predator?
49
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,307
- Sounds a little problematic.
50
00:02:21,349 --> 00:02:22,934
- Rodney says controversy sells.
51
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:24,811
You know his first real
estate book was called
52
00:02:24,853 --> 00:02:27,522
"Kill Your Parents,
Sell Their House."
53
00:02:27,564 --> 00:02:29,399
It's a New York
Times best seller.
54
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:31,192
- I'm sorry, what is all this?
55
00:02:31,234 --> 00:02:33,403
- Oh, those are our
payroll numbers.
56
00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:34,863
- "Those are our
payroll numbers."
57
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:36,990
Yeah, I know what they are.
58
00:02:37,032 --> 00:02:40,535
But why does a small farm
have so many employees
59
00:02:40,577 --> 00:02:42,078
and why are they all related?
60
00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:44,289
- Oh, uh, those are the Boones.
61
00:02:44,330 --> 00:02:45,790
They're a key part of the team
62
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:49,502
in so far as they provide
extra legal services.
63
00:02:49,544 --> 00:02:52,589
- Okay. You bought
protection from some crooks.
64
00:02:52,630 --> 00:02:54,507
Got it.
65
00:02:54,549 --> 00:02:57,135
- So the Boones, huh?
66
00:02:57,177 --> 00:03:00,013
You out here doing side deals
with criminals now, hmm?
67
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:01,657
You know all those years
when I was a criminal,
68
00:03:01,681 --> 00:03:03,117
all I wanted from
you was a side deal
69
00:03:03,141 --> 00:03:04,476
and you gave me nothing.
70
00:03:04,517 --> 00:03:06,561
- You stole my dream, Isaiah.
71
00:03:06,603 --> 00:03:09,064
- Why are you
focusing on the past?
72
00:03:09,105 --> 00:03:10,732
That's yesterday's shit.
73
00:03:10,774 --> 00:03:12,942
You need to be
looking to tomorrow,
74
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:13,961
which is when the future is.
75
00:03:13,985 --> 00:03:15,653
- Oh, is that when
the future is?
76
00:03:15,695 --> 00:03:17,423
You been spending too much
time with Rodney Lamonca.
77
00:03:17,447 --> 00:03:19,074
You sound like a
fucking Dominine hat.
78
00:03:19,115 --> 00:03:20,926
- Well, it's a good thing
I'm spending time with Rodney
79
00:03:20,950 --> 00:03:23,870
because we're launching
Predator Power at the NFS con.
80
00:03:23,912 --> 00:03:26,539
It's a nutrition...
- And food sciences convention.
81
00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,141
Yeah, I was looking
forward to attending
82
00:03:28,166 --> 00:03:29,709
while I still owned my own farm.
83
00:03:29,751 --> 00:03:31,836
- Well, pack your bags
because I talked Rodney into
84
00:03:31,878 --> 00:03:33,088
letting you both go.
85
00:03:33,129 --> 00:03:36,216
Free trip to San Diego,
baby! City of zoos.
86
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:38,551
- Fuck San Diego.
Fucking diet Miami.
87
00:03:38,593 --> 00:03:41,346
- I mean, a business
trip sounds kind of fun.
88
00:03:41,388 --> 00:03:42,907
The furthest I ever
went for work was when
89
00:03:42,931 --> 00:03:45,684
an Uber passenger had me
drive him to Charlotte.
90
00:03:45,725 --> 00:03:48,561
He was on drugs and bought me
Bojangles twice. It was great.
91
00:03:48,603 --> 00:03:51,064
- You haven't even heard
the best part yet, J Glopp.
92
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:53,316
Rodney has a celebrity
spokesperson lined up
93
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,652
and we need someone
to brief him on
94
00:03:55,694 --> 00:03:57,946
the magical healing
powers of saw palmetto.
95
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:00,073
And since you two
are the experts,
96
00:04:00,115 --> 00:04:03,910
you get to hang out with
Mr. Worldwide himself.
97
00:04:03,952 --> 00:04:05,995
Fucking Pitbull, huh?
98
00:04:06,037 --> 00:04:07,789
- Wow! Pitbull?
99
00:04:07,831 --> 00:04:10,250
I've given people rides home
from his concert before.
100
00:04:10,291 --> 00:04:13,920
They always seem very horny.
- Mm.
101
00:04:13,962 --> 00:04:15,755
Why you over there
being so quiet?
102
00:04:15,797 --> 00:04:17,424
Is it because you're
too horny to talk?
103
00:04:17,465 --> 00:04:21,636
- It's because I
don't want to do this.
104
00:04:21,678 --> 00:04:23,013
- I'm sorry about the farm.
105
00:04:23,054 --> 00:04:25,682
Okay, I got myself in a
bad situation in Phoenix
106
00:04:25,724 --> 00:04:27,952
and this was the only way I
could think to get out of it.
107
00:04:27,976 --> 00:04:30,603
And I feel really fucking
bad and I want to help you,
108
00:04:30,645 --> 00:04:33,773
so please just let me help you.
109
00:04:33,815 --> 00:04:35,316
- I really don't
have a choice, do I?
110
00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:38,903
- Man...
111
00:04:43,408 --> 00:04:45,952
- Wow. First class.
112
00:04:45,994 --> 00:04:48,830
I can't believe they let you
board before everybody else.
113
00:04:48,872 --> 00:04:51,332
I've never had anyone
jealous of me before.
114
00:04:51,374 --> 00:04:54,085
I heard one guy call
me a rich bitch.
115
00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:57,297
- Look at all this leg
room and lay flat seats.
116
00:04:57,339 --> 00:04:59,924
You know what it's like for
a guy my height to fly coach?
117
00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:02,177
It's like trying to jam a
GI Joe into a Hot Wheels.
118
00:05:02,218 --> 00:05:03,470
- Champagne?
- Ooh.
119
00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:05,197
- No, thank you.
- I think it's complimentary.
120
00:05:05,221 --> 00:05:06,514
- Then yes, please.
121
00:05:06,556 --> 00:05:09,184
Can I keep the glass?
- Sure.
122
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,394
- You should ask for yours
too. Then we'll have a set.
123
00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:12,520
- I'm not gonna do that.
124
00:05:12,562 --> 00:05:14,898
- Well, I still
really love this.
125
00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:17,525
Maybe it was all worth it
working for the Lamoncas.
126
00:05:17,567 --> 00:05:20,320
- No. Remember why
you're doing this, okay?
127
00:05:20,362 --> 00:05:23,114
We just need to earn enough
money to buy a new farm.
128
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,742
- You really think we can?
- Yes, I do, Jillian.
129
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:28,179
In fact, I've already found us
the perfect plot of swamp land.
130
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,496
- What?
131
00:05:29,537 --> 00:05:30,639
- Well, "perfect" might
be an overstatement.
132
00:05:30,663 --> 00:05:32,582
The Boones were right, okay?
133
00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,668
The pharmaceutical
companies bought up
134
00:05:34,709 --> 00:05:37,671
the entire Everglades.
Prices are insane.
135
00:05:37,712 --> 00:05:40,757
Down payment is 100 grand.
- Oh, wow.
136
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:44,052
But I guess that's only two
years of our Dominine salaries
137
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:46,471
assuming we don't eat,
138
00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:49,265
pay taxes, or sleep inside.
139
00:05:49,307 --> 00:05:50,767
- We can still sleep inside.
140
00:05:50,809 --> 00:05:54,270
It'll just be more like
five years of saving.
141
00:05:54,312 --> 00:05:56,189
- Okay, wow.
142
00:05:56,231 --> 00:06:00,151
Five year plan to get us back
to where we were one month ago.
143
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:01,671
I don't know why I
said that last bit.
144
00:06:01,695 --> 00:06:03,863
This is exciting.
- To starting over.
145
00:06:03,905 --> 00:06:06,241
- To starting over.
[glasses clink]
146
00:06:06,282 --> 00:06:09,244
[upbeat music]
147
00:06:09,285 --> 00:06:10,537
- Oh, my God, Craig, look.
148
00:06:10,578 --> 00:06:12,288
This hotel has free sewing kits.
149
00:06:12,330 --> 00:06:14,666
Now, my bra can get a
few more months of life.
150
00:06:14,708 --> 00:06:16,084
- Hey, good for you.
[door opens]
151
00:06:16,126 --> 00:06:18,253
- Welcome to San Diego.
152
00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:19,462
Sweet suite, right?
153
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,089
You guys check out the bathroom?
154
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,716
Got a special spout
for your bootyhole.
155
00:06:22,757 --> 00:06:25,260
- It's whatever.
Hotels are gross.
156
00:06:25,301 --> 00:06:27,512
Fucking... used beds.
- Hey.
157
00:06:27,554 --> 00:06:28,739
I was just downstairs
at the conference.
158
00:06:28,763 --> 00:06:30,056
You know what I saw?
159
00:06:30,098 --> 00:06:31,891
Three booths selling
saw palmetto extract.
160
00:06:31,933 --> 00:06:34,060
- I know, but we got that
shark collagen there, boss.
161
00:06:34,102 --> 00:06:35,520
We the only ones
doing that shit.
162
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:37,814
- I also think saw palmetto
on its own has some
163
00:06:37,856 --> 00:06:40,775
pretty amazing properties
that can really help people.
164
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,528
- Holy shit. Has that
always been your accent?
165
00:06:43,570 --> 00:06:44,571
- Yes.
166
00:06:44,612 --> 00:06:46,740
- It sucks. Fix it.
167
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,576
Anyway, I got a great
idea for us to stand out.
168
00:06:49,617 --> 00:06:52,245
Really make CVS' panties slick.
169
00:06:52,287 --> 00:06:55,540
We say that Predator Power
pills prevent prostate cancer.
170
00:06:55,582 --> 00:06:58,585
- No. You can't say something
cures cancers if it doesn't.
171
00:06:58,626 --> 00:07:00,962
- I said prevents cancer, Craig.
172
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:02,815
- No offense, but do you really
think people gonna believe
173
00:07:02,839 --> 00:07:04,883
you found the cure for cancer?
174
00:07:04,924 --> 00:07:06,593
I mean, you're not
exactly a scientist.
175
00:07:06,634 --> 00:07:08,261
You're wearing a shiny shirt.
176
00:07:08,303 --> 00:07:12,098
- All right, let me let you in
on a little secret here, okay?
177
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,101
People want to be lied to.
- I don't want to be lied to.
178
00:07:15,143 --> 00:07:17,562
- Well, not you personally.
You're one of the smart ones.
179
00:07:17,604 --> 00:07:20,023
- Oh, okay.
- See? Right there.
180
00:07:20,065 --> 00:07:21,483
Tell people what
they want to hear
181
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,151
and these idiots will
believe anything.
182
00:07:23,193 --> 00:07:26,112
- Look, Rodney, I think
they have a point.
183
00:07:26,154 --> 00:07:28,490
All right, this is a conference
for real businessmen.
184
00:07:28,531 --> 00:07:31,368
Not the normal Dominine...
185
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:33,119
- Losers and fuckwads, yeah.
186
00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:35,497
- I just think these people
might be harder to scam.
187
00:07:35,538 --> 00:07:36,956
But we don't have to scam 'em.
188
00:07:36,998 --> 00:07:40,251
We got Pitbull.
Mr. Worldwide, Mr. 305.
189
00:07:40,293 --> 00:07:42,420
- All right, whatever, but
Pitbull better bring it.
190
00:07:42,462 --> 00:07:43,922
And you two need
to go brief him.
191
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:45,924
He's up in the
penthouse. Top floor.
192
00:07:45,965 --> 00:07:48,005
- We know what penthouse means.
- Top floor, got it.
193
00:07:50,428 --> 00:07:51,721
- Wow.
194
00:07:53,431 --> 00:07:55,517
- [laughs] Welcome.
195
00:07:55,558 --> 00:07:56,726
I'm Pitbull.
196
00:07:56,768 --> 00:07:58,144
Let's make this a great day.
197
00:07:58,186 --> 00:08:00,522
- Let's do it.
- You want to live life.
198
00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:02,816
Don't let life live you.
- Oh, for sure.
199
00:08:02,857 --> 00:08:05,443
- If you work hard, let that
be the fuel to your fire.
200
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:06,986
- I will.
201
00:08:07,028 --> 00:08:08,905
- But don't forget to enjoy
202
00:08:08,947 --> 00:08:11,366
the glow of that
fire. [laughs]
203
00:08:11,408 --> 00:08:13,201
- I won't.
- Dale!
204
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,994
- Hey, so we're
here to brief you on
205
00:08:15,036 --> 00:08:16,931
saw palmetto facts.
- Yeah, come in. Have a seat.
206
00:08:16,955 --> 00:08:18,873
I personally like to stand.
207
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:22,127
I always keep to my feet to
stay ready to hustle, grind,
208
00:08:22,168 --> 00:08:23,503
make my dreams a reality.
209
00:08:23,545 --> 00:08:24,879
- Yeah, me too.
210
00:08:24,921 --> 00:08:27,257
I'm always just standing
up for the same reason.
211
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:28,883
- Mm, mm.
- To hustle.
212
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:30,760
- Okay, so five facts
about saw palmetto...
213
00:08:30,802 --> 00:08:32,846
- Right on. Before
we get to work,
214
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,115
would you like
some refreshments?
215
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:37,934
I've got some chili
lime kiki rikis.
216
00:08:37,976 --> 00:08:41,563
They're the official corn
chip of Mr. Worldwide.
217
00:08:41,604 --> 00:08:43,064
- Oh, wow. They're so spicy.
218
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,983
- Where you from?
- Australia.
219
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:48,737
- Oh, well, maybe in Australia,
you're okay with average chips.
220
00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,573
But where I'm from, in
my household, in Miami,
221
00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:52,550
there better be some heat, pap�.
222
00:08:52,574 --> 00:08:53,950
[laughter]
223
00:08:53,992 --> 00:08:55,761
You want some diet Doctor
Blanco to wash that down?
224
00:08:55,785 --> 00:08:57,203
- Sure.
- Diet Doctor Blanco?
225
00:08:57,245 --> 00:08:59,831
- It's the official clear
cola of Mr. Worldwide.
226
00:08:59,873 --> 00:09:02,709
It's all the flavor
with none of the guilt.
227
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,169
Dale! Both: Dale!
228
00:09:06,254 --> 00:09:07,881
- [sighs]
229
00:09:07,922 --> 00:09:10,216
My soda's got the hardest
working fizz in the biz.
230
00:09:10,258 --> 00:09:12,344
Ah!
231
00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:14,512
- Oh, Mr. Pitbull, your...
232
00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:16,222
- Hmm?
- Little beard.
233
00:09:16,264 --> 00:09:18,141
- Your soul patch.
- It's on the can.
234
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:20,894
- Oh, oh. [chuckles]
Shit, sorry.
235
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,229
[clears throat] What
we talking about?
236
00:09:23,271 --> 00:09:25,857
The delicious taste
of diet Doctor Blanco.
237
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,193
- Um, Mr. Pitbull,
238
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:30,278
would it be possible
to give us a second?
239
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:31,613
- Yeah, sure.
240
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,290
- That's not Pitbull.
- What?
241
00:09:42,332 --> 00:09:44,668
- His soul patch came off. He
doesn't even look like him.
242
00:09:44,709 --> 00:09:46,336
- Course it's not
fucking Pitbull.
243
00:09:46,378 --> 00:09:47,420
- You knew?
- What?
244
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:48,856
- Yeah, it's a
Pitbull impersonator.
245
00:09:48,880 --> 00:09:50,924
Certified by Mr. Worldwide
International.
246
00:09:50,965 --> 00:09:52,842
These doubles look like Pitbull,
247
00:09:52,884 --> 00:09:54,219
they sound like Pitbull,
248
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,179
they even fucking
smell like Pitbull.
249
00:09:56,221 --> 00:09:58,491
They wear the actual clothes
the real Pitbull sweat through.
250
00:09:58,515 --> 00:09:59,933
- Sounds kind of gross.
251
00:09:59,974 --> 00:10:01,786
- You know what's gross
is smelling like a nobody.
252
00:10:01,810 --> 00:10:03,687
- But people must
know it's not Pitbull.
253
00:10:03,728 --> 00:10:05,247
- You forgot what I
already taught you:
254
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:08,066
people want to be lied to.
They want to go home and
255
00:10:08,108 --> 00:10:09,960
tell their fucking nurse
practitioner friends that
256
00:10:09,984 --> 00:10:11,528
they met Pitbull
on a business trip.
257
00:10:11,569 --> 00:10:14,114
- Yeah, sure, but we knew
he was fake right away.
258
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:15,782
- It's 'cause you got up close.
259
00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:17,701
Pitbull 6 is a long
distance Pitbull.
260
00:10:17,742 --> 00:10:20,161
He's rated for stage
work and tarmac waving.
261
00:10:20,203 --> 00:10:21,555
I'm not gonna spend
two million bucks
262
00:10:21,579 --> 00:10:23,581
on a sunglasses off Pitbull.
263
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:24,958
Now, get back up
to the penthouse
264
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:27,460
and do your fucking
job. Top floor!
265
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,462
- Top floor, got it.
266
00:10:30,338 --> 00:10:33,717
- So do we call you Pitbull
6 or do you have a real name?
267
00:10:33,758 --> 00:10:36,469
- Call me Pitbull
because that's who I am.
268
00:10:36,511 --> 00:10:38,930
And if anybody heard you use
my actual name, I'd be fired.
269
00:10:38,972 --> 00:10:40,640
- Damn, Pitbull's a tough boss.
270
00:10:40,682 --> 00:10:42,225
- Pitbull is an incredible boss
271
00:10:42,267 --> 00:10:43,810
and a naturally funny
conversationalist
272
00:10:43,852 --> 00:10:45,478
who could do standup
if he wanted.
273
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,273
It's Mr. Worldwide
International who are tough.
274
00:10:48,314 --> 00:10:50,900
My handler Linda,
she's always on my ass.
275
00:10:50,942 --> 00:10:54,988
- Okay, Pitbull, um, there
are five key benefits
276
00:10:55,030 --> 00:10:56,948
to saw palmetto we'd
like you to mention.
277
00:10:56,990 --> 00:10:59,367
Prostate reduction, hair growth,
278
00:10:59,409 --> 00:11:00,928
which we thought you
could make a funny joke
279
00:11:00,952 --> 00:11:02,412
because you're bald.
280
00:11:02,454 --> 00:11:04,414
- Pitbull is bald by choice.
281
00:11:04,456 --> 00:11:06,624
If he wanted to have hair,
it'd be down to his butt.
282
00:11:06,666 --> 00:11:07,917
Your joke won't work.
283
00:11:07,959 --> 00:11:09,669
- Well, there's also
increased libido.
284
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,005
- Pitbull's libido
is incredible.
285
00:11:12,047 --> 00:11:14,591
He has so much sex, we
don't even masturbate.
286
00:11:14,632 --> 00:11:16,176
And he only has sex
with Miami tens.
287
00:11:16,217 --> 00:11:17,719
You know what a
Miami ten looks like?
288
00:11:17,761 --> 00:11:19,304
Like a stripper from
Grand Theft Auto.
289
00:11:19,346 --> 00:11:21,723
- Did you say, "we
don't even masturbate?"
290
00:11:21,765 --> 00:11:24,809
- Yeah, because everybody knows
Pitbull doesn't masturbate.
291
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:26,353
- Does everyone know that?
- Yeah.
292
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,022
So if I got caught, that'd
be as bad for the brand
293
00:11:29,064 --> 00:11:32,067
as me being, I don't know,
seen on a date with some woman
294
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:34,110
from my past who's not up
to Pitbull's standards.
295
00:11:34,152 --> 00:11:35,945
- So you can't date either?
296
00:11:35,987 --> 00:11:39,699
- [laughs] Of course
not. Bad for the brand.
297
00:11:39,741 --> 00:11:42,077
Think what people would say if
they saw me out with Heather
298
00:11:42,118 --> 00:11:45,830
who is so, so beautiful,
but not a Miami ten.
299
00:11:45,872 --> 00:11:47,582
- Is Heather your girlfriend?
300
00:11:47,624 --> 00:11:49,834
- [laughing] Not anymore.
301
00:11:49,876 --> 00:11:51,544
It's bad for the brand.
302
00:11:51,586 --> 00:11:53,755
She wanted to start a family
303
00:11:53,797 --> 00:11:56,466
and I wanted to be
a father so bad,
304
00:11:56,508 --> 00:11:59,844
but a bunch of little me's
running around calling me pap�,
305
00:11:59,886 --> 00:12:02,430
that... that's not Pitbull.
306
00:12:02,472 --> 00:12:05,183
[laughs]
- I'm so sorry.
307
00:12:05,225 --> 00:12:06,935
Do you need a
drink or something?
308
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,062
- Oh, I'd love a drink,
but I'm not allowed.
309
00:12:09,104 --> 00:12:11,064
- Bad for the brand.
- It's bad for the brand.
310
00:12:11,106 --> 00:12:12,982
- This is insane.
You're a human being.
311
00:12:13,024 --> 00:12:14,901
You should be able to
make your own choices.
312
00:12:14,943 --> 00:12:17,737
- No, Linda would find out.
313
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,114
She would always find out.
314
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,383
- It's just the
three of us here.
315
00:12:20,407 --> 00:12:22,409
Nobody's gonna say
anything. Have a drink.
316
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,452
I promise you'll
feel so much better.
317
00:12:26,454 --> 00:12:27,807
- You know we have to
stay within a pound of
318
00:12:27,831 --> 00:12:31,251
Pitbull's actual
weight at all times?
319
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:32,919
And sometimes he goes
so hard on stage,
320
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,629
he sweats off five pounds.
321
00:12:34,671 --> 00:12:37,340
You know what that means for me?
322
00:12:37,382 --> 00:12:39,009
- Do you think
you've had enough?
323
00:12:39,050 --> 00:12:40,844
- Man, you sound just
like fucking Linda.
324
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:42,971
"You can't drink
anymore, Pitt 6.
325
00:12:43,013 --> 00:12:44,931
Why'd you stop going to
your meetings, Pitt 6?"
326
00:12:44,973 --> 00:12:47,600
- Meetings?
- So it's not all Pitbulls
327
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:50,020
who can't have alcohol. That
was just a rule for you?
328
00:12:50,061 --> 00:12:51,271
- Of course it's just for me.
329
00:12:51,312 --> 00:12:53,273
I'm the only Pitbull
with a drinking problem.
330
00:12:53,314 --> 00:12:55,275
And they're afraid of
me because they know
331
00:12:55,316 --> 00:12:58,319
my solo music is
better than Pitbull's.
332
00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,655
Linda's intimidated
by my talent.
333
00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,157
Listen to this.
334
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:05,910
This track's called "I
Love Dunking Basketballs."
335
00:13:05,952 --> 00:13:07,287
[chuckles]
336
00:13:07,328 --> 00:13:08,913
? I see a big, fat hoop ?
337
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:09,998
? You know I got to dunk ?
338
00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,499
- Hey, hey, we really want to
339
00:13:11,541 --> 00:13:14,461
hear the rest of your music,
but I'ma call room service,
340
00:13:14,502 --> 00:13:15,837
order you a pot of black coffee.
341
00:13:15,879 --> 00:13:17,130
- I can't drink coffee.
342
00:13:17,172 --> 00:13:19,257
I'm only allowed
to drink CocoVOLT,
343
00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:21,885
the official chocolate energy
drink of Mr. Worldwide.
344
00:13:21,926 --> 00:13:23,470
- Or maybe you
should take a nap.
345
00:13:23,511 --> 00:13:26,681
You might just need a little
break from being Pitbull.
346
00:13:26,723 --> 00:13:28,308
- You know what?
347
00:13:28,350 --> 00:13:31,144
That's actually a great
idea. I do need a break.
348
00:13:31,186 --> 00:13:33,146
- Okay, good.
- I fucking quit this job.
349
00:13:33,188 --> 00:13:34,939
- What? No!
- Fuck Pitbull.
350
00:13:34,981 --> 00:13:37,108
Fuck Mr. Worldwide. Fuck Linda.
351
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:38,568
I'm going to masturbate.
352
00:13:44,449 --> 00:13:45,676
- You lost Pitbull?
- A Pitbull.
353
00:13:45,700 --> 00:13:46,826
- This is a disaster.
354
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:48,620
- People will understand.
Mix-ups happen.
355
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:50,872
I wore mismatched
socks today. It's cute.
356
00:13:50,914 --> 00:13:52,457
- Shh. Shut up.
357
00:13:52,499 --> 00:13:54,769
You know how much money I sunk
into this saw palmetto shit?
358
00:13:54,793 --> 00:13:56,753
- Oh, I don't know.
Including the free farm
359
00:13:56,795 --> 00:13:58,588
that you stole from me? $0?
360
00:13:58,630 --> 00:14:00,006
- I'm talking about
the conference.
361
00:14:00,048 --> 00:14:02,509
The booth, all the merch.
362
00:14:02,550 --> 00:14:04,028
Just renting the
Pitbull was how much?
363
00:14:04,052 --> 00:14:05,345
- 300 grand.
364
00:14:05,387 --> 00:14:07,222
- That seems like a
wild use of money.
365
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,308
- No, paying you two a salary
is the wild use of money.
366
00:14:10,350 --> 00:14:12,852
You better find this guy.
If you don't, you're fired.
367
00:14:12,894 --> 00:14:14,354
- We'll find him. Don't worry.
368
00:14:14,396 --> 00:14:15,873
- Isaiah, you brought
these two dipshits in.
369
00:14:15,897 --> 00:14:16,999
You go with them and make sure
370
00:14:17,023 --> 00:14:18,084
they don't trip
on their own dicks
371
00:14:18,108 --> 00:14:19,234
trying to work a doorknob.
372
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:20,252
- I know how to work a doorknob.
373
00:14:20,276 --> 00:14:21,653
- I don't have a dick.
374
00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,006
- So you have no
idea where he went.
375
00:14:24,030 --> 00:14:25,615
You just watched him run away.
376
00:14:25,657 --> 00:14:26,592
Why didn't you go after him?
377
00:14:26,616 --> 00:14:28,284
- He was so fast.
378
00:14:28,326 --> 00:14:30,704
I don't approve of
Mr. Worldwide International's
379
00:14:30,745 --> 00:14:32,288
dietary restrictions,
380
00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,416
but he seemed to be
in incredible shape.
381
00:14:34,457 --> 00:14:36,268
- Hey, be honest, Craig.
You trying to get fired?
382
00:14:36,292 --> 00:14:37,520
'Cause I don't
know what you think
383
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:39,295
Dominine severance
pay is, but it's bad.
384
00:14:39,337 --> 00:14:41,381
- No. I don't
want to get fired.
385
00:14:41,423 --> 00:14:44,259
I hate this job, but I need it.
386
00:14:44,300 --> 00:14:46,886
We got to buy a new farm,
plus Vanessa and Camille
387
00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,781
and the little white baby
that none of us are related to
388
00:14:48,805 --> 00:14:50,449
are counting on me.
- What are you talking about?
389
00:14:50,473 --> 00:14:51,993
- Oh, it's a long
and interesting story
390
00:14:52,017 --> 00:14:52,994
that I don't have to tell you
391
00:14:53,018 --> 00:14:54,436
because we're not close no more.
392
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:57,272
- Guys, look. Pitbull 6
left his phone in the room.
393
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,274
Phones are full of clues.
- It's locked.
394
00:14:59,315 --> 00:15:00,459
How are we supposed
to get his passcode?
395
00:15:00,483 --> 00:15:03,570
- How about 305?
He is Mr. 305.
396
00:15:03,611 --> 00:15:05,405
- A three digit passcode?
397
00:15:05,447 --> 00:15:07,115
Those don't exist, Isaiah.
398
00:15:07,157 --> 00:15:09,284
I'm learning you're
dumb and a dick.
399
00:15:09,325 --> 00:15:10,535
It's a terrible combination.
400
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:13,329
- Mm, and we're in.
- That's annoying.
401
00:15:13,371 --> 00:15:17,208
Limited contacts. Pitbull
7, Pitbull 8, Pitbull 10.
402
00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,752
What happened to Pitbull 9?
403
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,879
- Oh.
- What?
404
00:15:20,920 --> 00:15:22,881
- Maybe seven ate nine.
405
00:15:22,922 --> 00:15:25,175
- Jillian.
- Sorry.
406
00:15:25,216 --> 00:15:26,819
- Fuck it. One of these
guys gotta know something.
407
00:15:26,843 --> 00:15:28,845
[line rings]
408
00:15:28,887 --> 00:15:30,263
- 6, what's up?
409
00:15:30,305 --> 00:15:31,741
I'm at the Doctor
Blanco launch event.
410
00:15:31,765 --> 00:15:33,641
- This isn't 6. I'm
actually a client.
411
00:15:33,683 --> 00:15:35,226
Pitbull 6 had a
bit of a freak out
412
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:36,770
and we sort of lost him.
413
00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,481
- Ah, fuck. What'd
he freak out about?
414
00:15:39,522 --> 00:15:41,775
- I think he got fed up
with all the Pitbull rules.
415
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,693
Mr. Worldwide International
doesn't seem like
416
00:15:43,735 --> 00:15:45,111
an easy place to work.
417
00:15:45,153 --> 00:15:47,655
- Oh, shit. Was he
performing at a wedding?
418
00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,491
Weddings always make
him think about Heather.
419
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:51,368
- I just wanted to see
if you knew his name
420
00:15:51,409 --> 00:15:53,370
or had any idea where
he might've gone.
421
00:15:53,411 --> 00:15:57,290
- Nah. We were only allowed
to talk about Pitbull stuff.
422
00:15:57,332 --> 00:16:00,335
If they catch us socializing,
that's two fireballs.
423
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:04,172
And three fireballs is a timber.
424
00:16:04,214 --> 00:16:06,049
That means you going down.
425
00:16:07,384 --> 00:16:08,843
- They don't know shit.
426
00:16:08,885 --> 00:16:10,095
- Well, just call the company.
427
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,030
They got to have a
way to track him down.
428
00:16:11,054 --> 00:16:12,555
- No, we're not calling Linda.
429
00:16:12,597 --> 00:16:14,367
I don't want him to get
in trouble with his boss.
430
00:16:14,391 --> 00:16:15,725
- It'll be fine.
I promise I won't
431
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,227
tell Linda he was drinking.
432
00:16:17,268 --> 00:16:19,479
[phone rings]
433
00:16:19,521 --> 00:16:22,607
- Mr. Worldwide International.
You have Linda Fox Platt.
434
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:24,693
- Hi, I'm from Dominine.
435
00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,528
Uh, we lost our Pitbull.
436
00:16:26,569 --> 00:16:29,197
- Fucking 6. Was he
drinking on the job again?
437
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:30,198
- No.
- No, no, no.
438
00:16:30,240 --> 00:16:31,533
Nothing like that.
439
00:16:31,574 --> 00:16:33,535
- I told the hotel to
clean out the mini-bar,
440
00:16:33,576 --> 00:16:35,829
but everyone's a dumb
fuck. [keyboard clicking]
441
00:16:35,870 --> 00:16:39,040
All right, it looks like he's
about 15 miles from the hotel.
442
00:16:39,082 --> 00:16:41,167
- How do you know that?
443
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,269
- Well, he's got
a company phone.
444
00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,837
They're easy to track.
445
00:16:43,878 --> 00:16:47,090
- Well, we're on his phone.
We... we called you from it.
446
00:16:49,050 --> 00:16:50,260
- Okay, look.
447
00:16:50,301 --> 00:16:54,431
Here's the deal. You
cannot tell anyone this.
448
00:16:55,765 --> 00:16:57,976
When I make my doubles
get their tattoos
449
00:16:58,018 --> 00:16:59,644
so that they match Pitbull,
450
00:16:59,686 --> 00:17:02,272
we also insert a
subcutaneous tracking device.
451
00:17:02,313 --> 00:17:03,898
- Oh, my God.
452
00:17:03,940 --> 00:17:06,609
- Sorry, but I got shithead
bosses breathing down my neck.
453
00:17:06,651 --> 00:17:09,863
I could get fired if one
of my Pitts goes missing.
454
00:17:09,904 --> 00:17:12,365
Just to be clear, I am not
complaining about Pitbull.
455
00:17:12,407 --> 00:17:15,243
The real Pitbull is an
amazing boss and businessman
456
00:17:15,285 --> 00:17:17,871
who actually had
the idea for Amazon,
457
00:17:17,912 --> 00:17:19,956
but knew he could do more
good through his music.
458
00:17:19,998 --> 00:17:21,750
- We all love Pitbull, Linda.
459
00:17:21,791 --> 00:17:24,002
Can you please just
tell us where 6 went?
460
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,170
- Hold on.
461
00:17:26,421 --> 00:17:28,256
- It says he's in there.
462
00:17:28,298 --> 00:17:30,633
Guess he really
needed that drink.
463
00:17:30,675 --> 00:17:33,094
- No, he's here for
something worse.
464
00:17:33,136 --> 00:17:35,722
Open mic night.
465
00:17:35,764 --> 00:17:38,683
[phone buzzing]
466
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,729
- Hello?
- Hey, it's 12.
467
00:17:42,771 --> 00:17:45,190
I just wanted to see
if you found 6 yet.
468
00:17:45,231 --> 00:17:46,500
I'm starting to
worry this might be
469
00:17:46,524 --> 00:17:48,860
another Pitbull 9 situation.
470
00:17:48,902 --> 00:17:51,196
- What do you mean? What
happened to Pitbull 9?
471
00:17:51,237 --> 00:17:53,198
- Ah, man, he was
the best of us.
472
00:17:53,239 --> 00:17:56,409
He looked and moved
exactly like Pitbull.
473
00:17:56,451 --> 00:17:58,286
Man, certified for concert work,
474
00:17:58,328 --> 00:18:00,080
but it got too much.
475
00:18:00,121 --> 00:18:03,500
Always dancing, never sleeping.
476
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:06,419
I don't know when
the pills started,
477
00:18:06,461 --> 00:18:07,921
but I know when they stopped.
478
00:18:07,962 --> 00:18:10,006
One day he was shooting
a commercial for Dale,
479
00:18:10,048 --> 00:18:12,300
Pitbull's new tequila.
480
00:18:12,342 --> 00:18:14,135
They found him dead backstage.
481
00:18:14,177 --> 00:18:15,512
- Oh, my God.
482
00:18:15,553 --> 00:18:17,389
- Linda said it was an accident.
483
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,600
But how do you slit
both wrists by accident?
484
00:18:20,642 --> 00:18:22,435
- Well, we know where
6 is. He's alive.
485
00:18:22,477 --> 00:18:24,604
I'll make sure
nothing bad happens.
486
00:18:24,646 --> 00:18:26,272
- Oh, thank God.
487
00:18:27,190 --> 00:18:29,275
How'd you find him?
488
00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,194
- Um...
489
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:33,321
you know, looking hard.
490
00:18:33,363 --> 00:18:35,156
General searching.
491
00:18:35,198 --> 00:18:37,617
- They always fucking find us.
492
00:18:37,659 --> 00:18:39,536
How do they always find us?
493
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:41,496
- Okay, look, I'm not
supposed to tell you this,
494
00:18:41,538 --> 00:18:43,289
but Linda has a
tracking device on you.
495
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,667
It's in your tattoo.
496
00:18:45,709 --> 00:18:47,961
- What the fuck?
497
00:18:48,003 --> 00:18:51,047
So I'm chipped like a dog?
498
00:18:51,089 --> 00:18:54,551
- Jillian, you coming?
- I'm so sorry. I have to go.
499
00:18:58,096 --> 00:18:59,848
- This is my original single.
500
00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,142
"Nothing Like Sunshine
On Your Birthday."
501
00:19:02,183 --> 00:19:06,438
[upbeat music playing]
502
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,040
? You happy when it's
sunny on your birthday ?
503
00:19:08,064 --> 00:19:09,917
? You're sad when it's
cloudy on your birthday ?
504
00:19:09,941 --> 00:19:11,985
? Baby girl, don't cry,
the sun's gonna shine ?
505
00:19:12,027 --> 00:19:14,029
? You're gonna be happy
on your birthday ?
506
00:19:14,070 --> 00:19:15,030
[music stops]
507
00:19:15,071 --> 00:19:16,281
Hey.
508
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:17,907
The crowd was just
getting into it.
509
00:19:17,949 --> 00:19:20,368
- If even one person wants to
hear what this dude is singing,
510
00:19:20,410 --> 00:19:23,538
please raise your hand.
- Well, I loved it.
511
00:19:23,580 --> 00:19:26,583
It had such a great
message about, uh,
512
00:19:26,624 --> 00:19:28,585
being happy on your birthday.
513
00:19:28,626 --> 00:19:31,880
- Yeah, man, you're a
real shooting star, but...
514
00:19:31,921 --> 00:19:34,382
- You want me to go
back to the conference.
515
00:19:34,424 --> 00:19:36,134
Yeah, I know why you're here.
516
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,803
Relax. I wouldn't leave
you hanging like that.
517
00:19:38,845 --> 00:19:41,848
Ryan Mildo's gonna blow
the roof off that place.
518
00:19:41,890 --> 00:19:43,725
- What?
- Who the fuck is Ryan Mildo?
519
00:19:43,767 --> 00:19:45,894
- Me. Now you
know my real name.
520
00:19:45,935 --> 00:19:47,413
And soon, the rest of
the world will too.
521
00:19:47,437 --> 00:19:49,856
- Mildo like dildo.
522
00:19:49,898 --> 00:19:51,900
- It rhymes with dildo.
It's not like dildo.
523
00:19:51,941 --> 00:19:54,861
- Okay, I'm sorry. What
the fuck is happening here?
524
00:19:54,903 --> 00:19:56,863
'Cause you really think
you gonna start over
525
00:19:56,905 --> 00:19:59,991
as a grown-ass man
and become a pop star.
526
00:20:00,033 --> 00:20:01,576
- I mean, maybe.
527
00:20:01,618 --> 00:20:03,370
I know it's not gonna
happen overnight,
528
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:05,413
but if being Pitbull's
taught me one thing,
529
00:20:05,455 --> 00:20:07,540
it's how to hustle and grind.
530
00:20:07,582 --> 00:20:09,167
I've got a five year plan.
531
00:20:09,209 --> 00:20:11,544
- A fucking five year plan.
532
00:20:11,586 --> 00:20:15,256
Look, let me let you in
on a little secret, Mildo.
533
00:20:15,298 --> 00:20:17,592
Being poor sucks.
534
00:20:17,634 --> 00:20:19,135
- I was broke before
I got this job
535
00:20:19,177 --> 00:20:21,012
and it was fine. I was happy.
536
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,931
- Yeah, yeah, most
poor people happy.
537
00:20:22,972 --> 00:20:26,059
They eat their combo meals,
they watch TV, they go to bed.
538
00:20:26,101 --> 00:20:28,645
But the only reason they
can sleep is because
539
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:32,732
they don't know how
good rich people got it.
540
00:20:32,774 --> 00:20:34,210
I mean, they think they
understand because they watch
541
00:20:34,234 --> 00:20:36,903
a episode of "Entourage,"
542
00:20:36,945 --> 00:20:39,823
but they can't even
begin to imagine how easy
543
00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:42,450
everyday life is
for some people.
544
00:20:42,492 --> 00:20:45,036
But not you. [laughs]
545
00:20:45,078 --> 00:20:46,746
You, you fucking know, Mildo.
546
00:20:46,788 --> 00:20:49,541
The penthouses, Miami tens.
547
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,002
What they got you flying
now? What, first class?
548
00:20:52,043 --> 00:20:53,378
- Private.
549
00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:56,965
- Fucking PJs?
550
00:20:57,007 --> 00:20:58,609
You ate the fruit from
the Tree of Knowledge
551
00:20:58,633 --> 00:21:03,263
and ain't no going
back now, Mildo.
552
00:21:03,304 --> 00:21:05,306
Let me tell you about your
little five year plan.
553
00:21:05,348 --> 00:21:06,641
You gon' wake up every day
554
00:21:06,683 --> 00:21:09,185
and you are going to be furious.
555
00:21:09,227 --> 00:21:11,187
Furious at the struggle.
556
00:21:11,229 --> 00:21:12,647
Furious at the unfairness.
557
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,816
Furious at Pitbull.
558
00:21:14,858 --> 00:21:18,111
And that fury is gonna
eat away and eat away
559
00:21:18,153 --> 00:21:21,448
and eat away at you until
there's nothing good left,
560
00:21:21,489 --> 00:21:24,909
so what's it gonna be, Mildo?
561
00:21:24,951 --> 00:21:28,538
? ?
562
00:21:28,580 --> 00:21:30,874
- Please...
563
00:21:33,043 --> 00:21:34,502
Call me Pitbull.
564
00:21:36,379 --> 00:21:37,839
- [laughs] Look who we found.
565
00:21:37,881 --> 00:21:41,259
Mr. Worldwide himself.
Mr. 305. Mr...
566
00:21:41,301 --> 00:21:42,844
- What the fuck did you do?
567
00:21:42,886 --> 00:21:44,763
- We are more than
just Pitbulls.
568
00:21:44,804 --> 00:21:46,222
- We are human beings.
569
00:21:46,264 --> 00:21:48,475
- With our own lives
and our own names.
570
00:21:48,516 --> 00:21:50,477
- Our rights have been ignored.
571
00:21:50,518 --> 00:21:52,520
- And we've been stripped
of basic dignities.
572
00:21:52,562 --> 00:21:53,855
- Like our right to privacy.
573
00:21:53,897 --> 00:21:55,648
- And our right to
love who we want.
574
00:21:55,690 --> 00:21:57,025
- We will not dance.
575
00:21:57,067 --> 00:21:57,901
- We will not sing.
576
00:21:57,942 --> 00:21:59,903
- We will not start the party.
577
00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,905
- Operations at
Mr. Worldwide International
578
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:03,823
are hereby ceased.
579
00:22:03,865 --> 00:22:04,866
- Dale!
580
00:22:04,908 --> 00:22:06,993
- It's a Mr. Worldwide walkout.
581
00:22:07,035 --> 00:22:08,912
Pitbull's gonna be
so fucking pissed!
582
00:22:13,041 --> 00:22:13,976
- Well, you two
dunces lit a match.
583
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,186
Now, the whole thing's on fire.
584
00:22:15,210 --> 00:22:16,586
Pitbull put out a statement.
585
00:22:16,628 --> 00:22:18,064
Apparently, he didn't
know anything about
586
00:22:18,088 --> 00:22:20,048
the working conditions
of his doubles.
587
00:22:20,090 --> 00:22:21,359
You know one of
them killed himself?
588
00:22:21,383 --> 00:22:22,425
- We did know that, yes.
589
00:22:22,467 --> 00:22:24,094
- Yeah, well, Pitbull didn't.
590
00:22:24,135 --> 00:22:27,263
And now, he's taking a step
back to listen and learn.
591
00:22:27,305 --> 00:22:28,890
And since nobody listens harder
592
00:22:28,932 --> 00:22:31,559
or steps back
further than Pitbull,
593
00:22:31,601 --> 00:22:33,395
he's shutting down
the whole program.
594
00:22:33,436 --> 00:22:34,896
He's pulling all
his endorsements.
595
00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:37,774
He's even pulling
diet Doctor Blanco.
596
00:22:37,816 --> 00:22:39,401
- Pitbull's on in one minute.
597
00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:40,711
- Oh, this is a
fucking disaster.
598
00:22:40,735 --> 00:22:42,737
- So why don't you do it?
You can sell anything.
599
00:22:42,779 --> 00:22:44,256
- [scoffs] You think I'm
gonna get up on stage
600
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,408
and talk about how I
have penis problems?
601
00:22:46,449 --> 00:22:48,660
So everybody thinks I got
a piddly little booger dick
602
00:22:48,702 --> 00:22:50,787
that squirts clear? Fuck that.
603
00:22:50,829 --> 00:22:52,205
My shit is hard as a rock
604
00:22:52,247 --> 00:22:54,624
and it shoots Elmer's
by the fucking gallon.
605
00:22:54,666 --> 00:22:56,543
- Saw palmetto berries
help with the prostate,
606
00:22:56,584 --> 00:22:57,711
not the penis.
607
00:22:57,752 --> 00:23:00,213
- The prostate is
the penis! Grow up!
608
00:23:00,255 --> 00:23:01,983
- So what are we gonna
do? The crowd's waiting.
609
00:23:02,007 --> 00:23:04,175
- I don't know. Just
call the whole thing off.
610
00:23:04,217 --> 00:23:07,178
Say Pitbull got sick
and you two are fired.
611
00:23:07,220 --> 00:23:08,280
Clean out your hotel rooms.
612
00:23:08,304 --> 00:23:09,848
I'm cancelling your
plane tickets home.
613
00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,182
- How do we get back?
614
00:23:11,224 --> 00:23:13,518
- Imagine me giving one,
tiny, little mini fuck.
615
00:23:13,560 --> 00:23:18,273
You could walk home
for all I care.
616
00:23:18,314 --> 00:23:20,316
- You know what?
617
00:23:20,358 --> 00:23:22,068
Fine. We don't need you.
618
00:23:22,110 --> 00:23:25,113
Or your fancy hotels or
your champagne planes
619
00:23:25,155 --> 00:23:28,283
because we're gonna build a
new farm from the ground up
620
00:23:28,324 --> 00:23:30,076
where we treat people right.
621
00:23:30,118 --> 00:23:32,620
And it doesn't matter
how hard we have to work
622
00:23:32,662 --> 00:23:34,080
or how long it takes
because this...
623
00:23:34,122 --> 00:23:35,582
- Actually, if I
could interject.
624
00:23:35,623 --> 00:23:37,018
- Kind of in the
middle of a big speech.
625
00:23:37,042 --> 00:23:38,918
- I know, I know.
I'm sorry, I just...
626
00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:41,504
I think there's a way we can
still fix this Pitbull thing.
627
00:23:41,546 --> 00:23:42,672
- Exactly.
628
00:23:42,714 --> 00:23:44,674
Who needs Pitbull
when you have Ryan...
629
00:23:44,716 --> 00:23:47,260
- You're not getting
on stage, Mildo.
630
00:23:47,302 --> 00:23:50,722
- Ladies and gentlemen,
for Dominine,
631
00:23:50,764 --> 00:23:53,600
the moment you've
all been waiting for.
632
00:23:53,641 --> 00:23:55,018
- What are you gonna do?
633
00:23:55,060 --> 00:23:56,895
- Go out there and try
to sell Predator Power.
634
00:23:56,936 --> 00:23:58,229
Can't lose our jobs, Jillian,
635
00:23:58,271 --> 00:23:59,790
not if we want to save
up for our own farm.
636
00:23:59,814 --> 00:24:01,042
- I mean, I guess you're right,
637
00:24:01,066 --> 00:24:03,401
but people are
expecting Pitbull.
638
00:24:03,443 --> 00:24:04,694
Are you gonna dance?
639
00:24:04,736 --> 00:24:06,297
I'm realizing now I've
never seen you dance.
640
00:24:06,321 --> 00:24:07,530
Maybe you're amazing at it.
641
00:24:07,572 --> 00:24:09,532
- I am an amazing
dancer, but not tonight.
642
00:24:09,574 --> 00:24:13,203
Just tell them about all the
good saw palmetto can do.
643
00:24:13,244 --> 00:24:14,454
Okay?
644
00:24:14,496 --> 00:24:16,289
- ? Four, three, two, one ?
645
00:24:16,331 --> 00:24:18,458
? ?
646
00:24:18,500 --> 00:24:20,251
? Come on ?
647
00:24:20,293 --> 00:24:25,048
- Please welcome
Mr. Worldwide, Mr. 305,
648
00:24:25,090 --> 00:24:30,845
the one, the only, Pitbull!
649
00:24:34,724 --> 00:24:37,435
- Uh, hey.
650
00:24:37,477 --> 00:24:41,398
I know you're excited
to see Pitbull, but...
651
00:24:41,439 --> 00:24:45,944
he's not coming. Sorry.
652
00:24:45,985 --> 00:24:48,947
Look, I could stand
here and tell you
653
00:24:48,988 --> 00:24:52,242
Pitbull got sick, but
I'm not gonna lie.
654
00:24:52,283 --> 00:24:54,494
The truth is, the
endorsement fell through.
655
00:24:54,536 --> 00:24:58,123
Business shit. It happens.
656
00:24:58,164 --> 00:25:01,167
But here's another
thing that's true.
657
00:25:01,209 --> 00:25:03,420
We didn't actually
need a celebrity
658
00:25:03,461 --> 00:25:06,423
to sell Predator Power
659
00:25:06,464 --> 00:25:10,093
because these pills
are gonna help people.
660
00:25:10,135 --> 00:25:13,304
Let me tell you a
story about my father.
661
00:25:13,346 --> 00:25:17,058
When I was 12 years old,
662
00:25:17,100 --> 00:25:19,519
my father was taken from me
663
00:25:19,561 --> 00:25:23,356
by one of the deadliest
predators in the world:
664
00:25:23,398 --> 00:25:25,734
prostate cancer.
665
00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:27,277
- What the fuck?
666
00:25:27,318 --> 00:25:29,779
- I dedicated my
life to making sure
667
00:25:29,821 --> 00:25:33,783
no family would
suffer like mine did.
668
00:25:33,825 --> 00:25:37,328
I was determined to find a cure
669
00:25:37,370 --> 00:25:39,998
and I did.
670
00:25:40,040 --> 00:25:44,336
Because Predator Power pills
prevent prostate cancer
671
00:25:44,377 --> 00:25:47,130
in 75% of men.
672
00:25:47,172 --> 00:25:48,465
[applause]
673
00:25:48,506 --> 00:25:50,133
- Oh, hell yeah.
674
00:25:50,175 --> 00:25:53,178
- They are a fucking
magic bullet.
675
00:25:53,219 --> 00:25:54,804
We have studies.
676
00:25:54,846 --> 00:25:57,390
I shouldn't even be
telling you about it yet.
677
00:25:57,432 --> 00:26:00,477
But these studies will prove
678
00:26:00,518 --> 00:26:02,854
saw palmetto berries
679
00:26:02,896 --> 00:26:07,275
in Dominine's specific
patented formulation
680
00:26:07,317 --> 00:26:12,530
mixed with cancer
eradicating shark cartilage
681
00:26:12,572 --> 00:26:14,699
save lives.
682
00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:18,995
So I have a message
for prostate cancer:
683
00:26:19,037 --> 00:26:22,874
you can suck my dick.
684
00:26:22,916 --> 00:26:25,210
[cheers and applause]
685
00:26:25,251 --> 00:26:26,836
- Wow.
- Fucking love this guy.
686
00:26:26,878 --> 00:26:30,173
- There's a new apex
predator on planet Earth
687
00:26:30,215 --> 00:26:32,676
and if comes in
a fucking bottle.
688
00:26:32,717 --> 00:26:33,843
So place your orders now.
689
00:26:33,885 --> 00:26:34,546
? ?
690
00:26:39,224 --> 00:26:41,685
- Fuck yeah, man! I was
getting calls from buyers
691
00:26:41,726 --> 00:26:43,269
while you're still
up on the stage.
692
00:26:43,311 --> 00:26:46,106
Hey, did your dad
really die of cancer?
693
00:26:46,147 --> 00:26:48,108
- No.
- I love it!
694
00:26:48,149 --> 00:26:49,651
You know, you try
and pretend like
695
00:26:49,693 --> 00:26:50,985
you're this cuddly teddy bear,
696
00:26:51,027 --> 00:26:52,696
but you're just a big cave troll
697
00:26:52,737 --> 00:26:54,322
with piss running
through his veins.
698
00:26:54,364 --> 00:26:56,700
You're rehired.
- And Jillian?
699
00:26:56,741 --> 00:26:58,660
- Sure, yeah. Just
fix the accent.
700
00:26:58,702 --> 00:27:01,705
I got to take this. Hey, CVS.
701
00:27:01,746 --> 00:27:03,832
Yeah, you dumb motherfuckers.
702
00:27:03,873 --> 00:27:05,208
Time to pay up.
703
00:27:05,250 --> 00:27:06,459
- What was that?
704
00:27:06,501 --> 00:27:08,062
- Rodney was gonna say
the cancer thing anyway.
705
00:27:08,086 --> 00:27:09,963
At least this saved our jobs.
706
00:27:10,005 --> 00:27:11,923
- But the stuff
about your dad...
707
00:27:11,965 --> 00:27:13,067
- I thought it'd
be more believable
708
00:27:13,091 --> 00:27:14,551
if I made it personal.
It's nothing.
709
00:27:14,592 --> 00:27:17,053
- I mean, the way dad
lived his life has effected
710
00:27:17,095 --> 00:27:19,514
every decision you've ever
made up until this point.
711
00:27:19,556 --> 00:27:21,850
But what the fuck do I know.
712
00:27:21,891 --> 00:27:23,435
- I'm sorry.
713
00:27:23,476 --> 00:27:26,354
But Camille is counting on
me. Nessa's counting on me.
714
00:27:26,396 --> 00:27:29,107
It doesn't mean I'm
giving up on our new farm.
715
00:27:29,149 --> 00:27:31,484
This was the only path forward.
716
00:27:31,526 --> 00:27:32,920
- I'm sure there were
paths that didn't include
717
00:27:32,944 --> 00:27:34,904
lying about curing cancer.
718
00:27:34,946 --> 00:27:38,575
- Preventing cancer.
719
00:27:38,616 --> 00:27:42,078
But I hate myself.
720
00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:45,415
This is gonna eat at me forever.
721
00:27:45,457 --> 00:27:47,417
I don't know how
I'll sleep tonight.
722
00:27:47,459 --> 00:27:50,378
[snoring]
723
00:28:04,642 --> 00:28:06,644
Guess I'll see you back
here in a couple of hours.
724
00:28:06,686 --> 00:28:08,271
- Mm-hmm.
- Want to get breakfast?
725
00:28:08,313 --> 00:28:10,041
I got to grab my keys.
It'll only take a second.
726
00:28:10,065 --> 00:28:11,941
- I want to go home and shower.
727
00:28:11,983 --> 00:28:13,818
Thanks though.
728
00:28:16,279 --> 00:28:17,238
- All right.
729
00:28:20,617 --> 00:28:22,243
Jesus!
730
00:28:22,285 --> 00:28:24,162
What are you doing here?
- I got in early.
731
00:28:24,204 --> 00:28:26,247
That's the problem
with your generation.
732
00:28:26,289 --> 00:28:28,416
You don't understand hard work.
733
00:28:28,458 --> 00:28:31,169
- Okay, well, I just
came to grab one thing.
734
00:28:31,211 --> 00:28:32,629
Don't let me interrupt.
735
00:28:32,671 --> 00:28:35,131
- Do you know how bad you
are at running a business?
736
00:28:35,173 --> 00:28:37,967
Even after I fired all
those extra people,
737
00:28:38,009 --> 00:28:40,136
you're still bleeding cash.
738
00:28:40,178 --> 00:28:42,138
- What? You fired them.
739
00:28:42,180 --> 00:28:43,640
I told you the
Boones are important.
740
00:28:43,682 --> 00:28:44,974
You said you got it.
741
00:28:45,016 --> 00:28:46,309
I thought that meant you got it.
742
00:28:46,351 --> 00:28:48,353
- What I got is
that you're an idiot
743
00:28:48,395 --> 00:28:51,523
who was in over his head.
You do illegal shit in cash.
744
00:28:51,564 --> 00:28:54,275
Don't put it on the books.
- Okay. [stammers]
745
00:28:54,317 --> 00:28:55,795
What did they say
when you fired them?
746
00:28:55,819 --> 00:28:57,487
Were they mad?
747
00:28:57,529 --> 00:28:59,155
- Well...
748
00:28:59,197 --> 00:29:02,325
[upbeat music playing]
749
00:29:02,367 --> 00:29:06,246
? ?
750
00:29:06,287 --> 00:29:07,497
- [sighs]
751
00:29:07,539 --> 00:29:12,168
? ?
752
00:29:12,210 --> 00:29:14,337
- Hey, there, Jillian.
- [gasps]
753
00:29:14,546 --> 00:29:16,399
- ? You happy when it's
sunny on your birthday ?
754
00:29:16,423 --> 00:29:18,341
? You sad when it's
cloudy on your birthday ?
755
00:29:18,383 --> 00:29:20,301
? Baby girl, don't cry,
the sun is gonna shine ?
756
00:29:20,343 --> 00:29:22,053
? You're gonna be happy
on your birthday ?
757
00:29:22,095 --> 00:29:23,364
- ? Yeah, I was born ?
- I was born.
758
00:29:23,388 --> 00:29:26,224
- ? I was born today
so light it up ?
759
00:29:26,266 --> 00:29:29,060
- Light it up!
- ? Like a candle today ?
760
00:29:29,102 --> 00:29:31,187
? And I would die ?
- I will die.
761
00:29:31,229 --> 00:29:32,981
- ? If you take it away ?
762
00:29:33,023 --> 00:29:37,360
? 'Cause it's gotta be
sunny on my birthday ?
763
00:29:37,402 --> 00:29:40,071
- ? All it takes for you
to be happy is just ?
764
00:29:40,113 --> 00:29:41,531
? A little bit of sunshine ?
765
00:29:41,573 --> 00:29:43,408
? Who needs all of
this money, honey ?
766
00:29:43,450 --> 00:29:45,493
? When I can make
you all mine? ?
767
00:29:45,535 --> 00:29:46,911
? Clouds ain't gonna rain ?
- Nope.
768
00:29:46,953 --> 00:29:48,431
- ? Won't wash all your
presents down the drain ?
769
00:29:48,455 --> 00:29:49,622
- Hell, nah.
770
00:29:49,664 --> 00:29:51,249
- ? You gotta be, you wanna be ?
771
00:29:51,291 --> 00:29:52,727
? It's gonna be sunny
on your birthday ?
772
00:29:52,751 --> 00:29:54,377
- ? Yeah, I was born ?
- I was born.
773
00:29:54,419 --> 00:29:57,213
- ? I was born today
so light it up ?
774
00:29:57,255 --> 00:29:59,758
- Light it up!
- ? Like a candle today ?
775
00:29:59,799 --> 00:30:02,093
? And I would die ?
- I will die.
776
00:30:02,135 --> 00:30:03,887
- ? If you take it away ?
777
00:30:03,928 --> 00:30:07,474
? 'Cause it's gotta be
sunny on my birthday ?
778
00:30:07,515 --> 00:30:09,309
- Oh!
779
00:30:09,351 --> 00:30:10,727
- ? Whoa ?
- Yeah.
780
00:30:10,769 --> 00:30:13,396
- ? Oh, oh, oh ?
- [imitates gunshots]
781
00:30:13,438 --> 00:30:17,067
- ? Whoa, oh, oh, oh ?
- Yeah.
782
00:30:17,108 --> 00:30:18,777
- ? Whoa ?
- All right.
783
00:30:18,818 --> 00:30:20,403
- ? Oh, oh ?
784
00:30:20,445 --> 00:30:22,364
- Money, honey, money,
honey, money, honey.
785
00:30:22,405 --> 00:30:24,908
- ? Oh, oh, oh ?
- Uh!
786
00:30:24,949 --> 00:30:26,576
A Ryan Mildo original.
787
00:30:26,618 --> 00:30:28,870
Any similarities to
any artist out there
788
00:30:28,912 --> 00:30:31,623
is just pure coincidence.
789
00:30:31,664 --> 00:30:35,293
- ? It's gotta be
sunny on my birthday ?
790
00:30:35,335 --> 00:30:37,295
- It's all sunny, baby.
791
00:30:38,254 --> 00:30:40,298
- Not a doctor.
- Shh.
792
00:30:40,348 --> 00:30:44,898
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