All language subtitles for Killing It s02e04 Help Me Pay My Bills.eng

- [sighs]

Hello.
- Hi.

- Okay.

[breathing heavily]

Great to see you again.
- Yeah.

- Okay, so there's
nothing to worry about.

I think we make
an offer to Rodney

and then see how he responds.

And from there, we can...

Ah, shoot.

Do either of you have a pen?

- We prefer our lawyer to
have his own pen, but here.

- Thank you.

[sighs]

[groans] Oh, yeah.

Oh!

[moaning]

[laughs] It's orgasmic.

- What happened to your wrist?

- Well, I saw a beautiful
woman on the elevator,

and I tried to force my way in.

- Jillian, who did you hire?

- Dean Trovia. You've
seen his billboards.

Blackmail is his specialty.
- Yeah.

It's one of the three
pillars of my practice.

Dads' law, blackmail, getting
cops out of whoopsies.

- Well, Rodney is
taking our farm,

but we'd still
like to try to keep

a minority ownership stake.

- Also, it's named Henry's
Farm, after my dad.

I'd love it if that could stay.

- Wait, that... that's all?

Guys, that's... that's nothing.

You have all the leverage here.

You should fucking
destroy this guy.

- You do know we're the ones
being blackmailed, right,

not the ones doing
the blackmail?

- Oh, shit.

Being blackmailed?

Being blackmailed is the worst!

- So then this isn't
your specialty?

- No. No, it's not.

My thing is that I have

this really handsome
male friend.

And I usually just film him
having sex with married women.

I pay him in drugs.

Uh... [breathing heavily]

It's okay. It's fine.

It's fine.

I'm a good lawyer,
and... [elevator dings]

I know what to do.

Now, if you'll excuse me,

I have to go to the bathroom.

I'll be back in one second.

- Why are you taking
your briefcase?

- Hold the door. Hold the door.
- No, no. Hey, get back here!

- Hold the door!

[screams]

Fuck!

[bombastic music]

- So we were hoping
we could stay on

as minority stakeholders.

- Since we did spend a year

building the farm
from the ground up.

- All right. I'll tell
you what I can do.

Checkbook! All right.

I'll pay you out, all right?

You get a finder's fee.

In exchange for providing me
with the saw palmetto farm,

you receive...

- A million bucks?

- No, a... a million dicks.

That says a million dicks.

- It says bucks, right?
- It looks like bucks to me.

- It says a million dicks.

It's a joke.

I'm not giving you anything.

- Ask about the name.

- The name?
- Yeah.

I was hoping we could keep it
named after my father, Henry.

It's just a tribute. It
won't cost you anything.

- Hmm.

- So that's a no.
- Yeah, it's a no.

It's now called
Noah's Plantation,

in honor of my dead stepson.

- The one you killed?

- I'm more troubled by
the plantation part.

- Why?

- I mean, Rodney...

- Well, I guess that's it.

Keys to the office
and the truck.

- I assume you'll be
keeping Gabriel and Angel

through harvest season.

This is Gabriel's sunscreen.

He always forgets to put it on.

Oh. Okay.

Well, this is Angel's EpiPen.

- Ooh, shot of adrenaline
before a big negotiation?

I'm gonna hang on to this shit.

- So, Craigory,
Rodney needs somebody

to manage this place,
so I convinced him

to pay you two to stay on.

- How much?
- Jillian!

- How much you making before?

- $35,000 a year before taxes.

- [laughs]
- Jesus.

That's grim. I'm sorry.

I pay twice that to
Prada's sober companion,

and all she has to
do is go to dinners.

- We'll keep you at 35.

How's that sound?

[tense music]

? ?

- Okay, just gonna break this
eye contact for a moment here.

I mean, at least he's
not cutting our pay.

We can still pay rent, buy food.

- Keep our Kias.

- Yes, Craig, I'd
like to keep my Kia.

- Well, I can't do it.

Fuck Rodney.

Double fuck Isaiah,
treacherous leech.

- I mean, Isaiah convinced
Rodney to keep us on.

That was nice of him, right?

- Right.

Isaiah's never nice.

If he wants us to stay,

it must mean they
really need us.

Watch this.

Okay, here's our counteroffer.

We'll stay, but...

we want $80,000 a year.

- Wow.

We're negotiating, huh?

Okay.

[screams] Whoo!
- The fuck?

- My offer is this.

Farming isn't hard.

I can replace you
with a suck bot.

You're fired.

What about you, weirdo?
What do you say?

35K, going once. Going twice...

- It's okay if you're
gonna do it, Jillian.

- 34K. 33K.

- I'm in. I'll stay it 33.

- All right, good.

You got any problems,
call Isaiah.

This is the last time I
set foot on a fucking farm.

Look at my shoes.
They're ruined.

Russell Crowe got me
these shoes as a gift.

- I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have
said yes. I panicked.

I can still quit.
We're partners.

I can't abandon you.

- It's okay, Jillian.

I've been unemployed before.

I'll be fine.

Hi.

I applied for the
security guard position,

and I wanted to follow up.

Yes, Foster, right.

[somber music]

Okay, well, should I call back
in a couple of weeks, or...

Okay.

Well, thank you.

- It's because you're too cute.

Who'd be afraid of that face?

- Thanks, Dolores.

But the problem
isn't how cute I am.

It's that nobody's hiring.

Dolores, damn!

We talked about this.

The kitchen is a common area.

You have to wear underwear
in the common areas.

- The bathroom is a common area,

and I'm naked there.

[phone buzzing] Your
rule makes no sense.

- [laughs]

Hey, baby, what's shaking?
- Hey, Daddy.

Do you think you could
take me to Nina's later?

- What? I thought we
were gonna hang out.

I mean, when is your mom's
weird white baby due?

How much longer are
you even in town?

- Like, two more weeks.

- You moved across
the country, Ness.

I never get to see you.

- Well, I never get to
see my friends either.

Anyways, it's Mom's fault
for moving me to Oakland.

- No. No, no, no, no, no.

Don't try to make me mad
at Mom for your choices.

But you make a good point.

It was fucked up what she did.

I'll see you in a bit.

I'll take you to Nina's.

- Thanks.

? ?

Dolores!
- [groans]

- Why you gotta put stuff
up high all the time?

[knock at door]

- It's open. Give me a sec.

[steady music]

? ?

- Dang.

You guys got a suite?

Ain't your Mom's
job at a nonprofit,

'cause this looks like profit.

- The couple is paying for it.

- How come I've never
heard this couple's name?

How come they're
always "the couple"?

- 'Cause Mom signed an NDA, so
you can't know who they are.

But any time we have
to go somewhere,

they send a driver for us.

- Camille.

- [vocalizing]

- Wait, aren't you going
to the baby shower?

The couple is
throwing her a party.

- Oh.

- I can do it. Let me do it.

I'll drop Nessa off,
then I'll come take you.

- Oh, yeah. Yeah. I
mean, I'm so busy.

But come on.

You need me.

Admit it.

- Camille, I run
my own business.

I'm the consummate professional.

[upbeat music playing]

[chatter and laughter]

? ?

Holy crap, what the fuck's
their budget on this shit?

You know my fear of white
people in coordinated outfits.

This some cult shit.

- [screams] Cammy, you're here!

I'm so glad you're here.

- She said, "Thank
you for having me."

- ? I want to touch my baby ?

Ope, nope. You just
dove right in there.

- Hello, my baby.

I don't feel him kicking.

Why isn't he kicking?

Are you playing the
tapes of my voice?

He should be kicking.

- Hey, I'm Tate.

This is Blythe.
- Hey. Craig.

- Thanks so much
for translating.

I'll get you my assistant's
email for the invoice.

- Oh, I don't need to be paid.

Camille and I are friends.

We were actually married.

- Oh, hell yeah.

We gotta get you a
spring roll. Leila!

What's up, girl?

- [gasps] He's kicking.

My baby's kicking.

Zeta? Zeta, come feel my baby.
- Ah! Oh, my God!

- Uh-uh, let's get
Camille's permission first.

- Excuse me.

- No, sir, no.

Do not put your
hands on my friend.

- I was just saying...
- No, she's a woman.

Okay? You're a man.

- Ow.
- But she was just coming in.

And I was just...
- No, strange man. Enough.

Please, touch my baby.

- Aww!
- I'm so sorry.

I didn't expect you
to get assaulted

at my frickin' party.

- Okay, okay. Stop pushing.

- I'm the only one
looking out for you.

Obviously, these people aren't.

Who has a all-sushi baby shower?

Want me to run out to Five Guys?

I bet I still remember
your pregnancy order.

Triple with cheese, bacon,
ketchup, mustard, mayo,

relish, pickles, jalape�os,

grilled mushrooms,
grilled onions, A1.

- You think I'm gonna go to
Five Guys and not get fries?

Damn, Camille.

This is why we are
no longer together.

- No, no, no. No.

She's not having any burgers.

Dr. Kay said we need
to keep our sodium low.

- Yeah, Dr. Kay.

Dr. Kay is our neonatal
dietary consultant,

which is, you know,
a made-up job.

- Well, Camille ate burgers
last time she was pregnant,

and our daughter's just fine.

- But we're not going
for just fine, now,

are we?
- Okay.

- You can't say
that to a person.

- Honey, you're doing
the controlling thing.

- I'm being chill.
- Again.

- [scoffs]
- Here's how I see it.

Camille, it's your
day too, so go nuts.

- Her day too?
- Yeah.

- Her day too?

Are you gonna...

- Right. Uh, one more thing.

I know Zeta's hitting the
pinot pretty hard today,

but did I hear something
about you grabbing her or...

- Assaulting her?
- I didn't grab anyone.

They were touching Camille
without permission.

- Gaslighting, just saying.

- But I know it was very
inappropriate of me.

I'm so sorry.

And I'll apologize
to... Zeh-ta, was it?

- Yeah. Zeh-ta's fine.

That's... thank you.
That's very generous.

We figured it was a
big misunderstanding.

So hey, how about we
get the hotel chef

to make you that
burger right now?

- "That's nice of you, thanks."

- Great. That's all we got.

Yeah. We're gonna
move this way.

- It's Zeta. It's Zeta.
- Lot of people to talk to.

- Everyone should
know it's Zeta.

- Either pronunciation is fine.

- She's Greek, and
it's offensive.

- Moving this way.
- Bye, friends.

- Don't look back again.
- Okay.

- I mean, I'd have been just
fine if I never met them.

- Is that crowdfunding
for medical stuff?

- I'm gonna be honest.

Tate's not really
registering much.

I'm more reacting to Blythe.

- [sighs] Fine.

If you like 'em, I like 'em.

I can be good.

Just watch.

- Oh.

Have you considered a C-section?

Like a... like...

I just... I know Blythe
would love to see the baby

looking like his
best self, you know?

Can you translate, please?

- Hey, Ted. Hey, Ted.

- Oh. Ted, he's calling you.

- I'm Craig.
- Who?

- Ted, can you...
Can you get Camille?

We're doing pictures.

- Photos.

Photos.

[phone buzzes]
- Yeah, hey.

What's up?

Right now? Fuck!

Hey, just slide in there.

If she's an asshole,
flag me down.

- Camille, where do I put
my hands on the belly?

Is it, like, more like this,

or is it, like, under like this?

- Well, you have to have
the hands underneath,

or I can see the plastic seams.

- Yeah, but then
my arms look weird

and I kind of look
chunky, and that's gross.

What if we Photoshop
her belly onto my body?

Camille, can I just show him...

- What... hey!
What are you doing?

- Uh, excuse you.

- She has a dress on.

You're gonna show all these
strangers her underwear?

- [laughing]

Okay, this is a
$45,000 baby shower.

There's, like, so
much shit to see.

There's a fucking IV tent.

No one's looking at Camille.

- You can't just
take her clothes off.

She's not a prop.
- I know she's not a prop.

My baby's heartbeat
is with her heartbeat.

So henceforth, my heartbeat
is her heartbeat, okay?

Have you even seen the
place that I put her up in?

It is so fancy.

I care about her.

- Spending money on
someone isn't the same

as caring about them.

- Oh, yeah. Actually, it is.

So now, everything's so clear.

I understand why you
guys got divorced.

Good for you, Camille.
That was so brave.

- Fuck you, Blythe.

- Fuck you, Ted!

- Come. Come, come,
come, come, please.

Can I get everyone's
attention, please?

Today, we are going to
reveal this baby's name!

- I can't believe how you're
letting these rich pricks

control you like this.

- Oh, my God, this
is so brilliant.

And I've been waiting for this.

[screams] That's a V!

- A "V"!

- What could
possibly go with a V?

- What?
[cheers and applause]

A! It's an A! What is this?

- You guys are gonna die
when you hear this name.

You've never even heard
it before as a name.

Like, it's not used as a name.

- What are you talking
about right now?

- I'm a rascal.
- Okay, we got a V.

We got an A. What's next? Oh!

It's a P!
- It's an androgynous name,

which everybody's
doing right now.

- It's a P! What
are you thinking?

- I think you'll never
guess what it is.

- Vapid?
- No.

- Vapod? Oh, my
gosh, is it Vapod?

- What could it be?

- I'm going. I'm going in.

Oh!

An O!

- My psychic said
it was so important

to have an O in the name.

Okay.

Okay, wait. Drumroll. Hold on.

- Are you guys dying?
Everyone's dying.

Let's do this.

- Just shut up and wait.
[laughs]

- Ready? On your
mark. Get set...

- I just want to be needed!

[balloon pops]

- Vapor.

The baby's name is Vapor.

[scattered applause] Yay!

It's Vapor.

I love Vapor so much.

- I took a whole day off
from the farm for Camille,

and she still thinks I
want her to be unhappy.

It's crazy.

- But you don't work
at the farm anymore.

- She doesn't know that!

I didn't tell her yet
because it would make her

so happy to know I got fired.

- So you don't want
her to be unhappy,

but you also don't want
her to be too happy?

- If we're gonna be
phone friends, Jillian,

you need to back me up more.

- You're right. I'm sorry.

Camille's a dick. She's
being a fucking asshole.

- [sighs] No, don't say that.

I'm sorry for dumping
all this on you.

I know you have a lot
going on with the farm.

- Things are actually fine.

We're just getting the next
shipment ready to go out.

- But working for Isaiah
must be miserable.

- I mean, he hasn't
been around much.

It's pretty much
business as usual.

- Except I'm not there?

- Right, yes.

That part's awful.

We need you here.

Angel can't stop sobbing.

- Jillian...
- I haven't been able to eat.

Gabriel is suicidal.

- You can go back to work.

- No! Gabriel, don't do it!

- I'm hanging up now, Jillian.

[tense music]

? ?

- So we need to
make sure we film

the opening of the gifts.
- Okay, sure.

Hey, Cam, we're just making
sure you're all right.

We saw Ted storm out.

- Yeah. Not a big
deal, you know?

No harm, no foul.

- Oh, yeah, no big deal,

except for they ruined
the name reveal,

and, like, nobody
clapped for Vapor.

We would have got, like,
the same response to Howard.

Didn't even matter.

- Well, I think
Howard's a fine name.

And, Camille, you
must be exhausted,

so we're gonna get you
back to your hotel, okay?

Up, up.
- Wait, you mean,

like, Joe's gonna drive her.

- No, we should do it.
- What?

- You two can spend
some more time together

and you and Vapor can spend
some more time together.

- But I don't wanna
leave my own party.

That's the main reason
I wanted to have a baby.

- You need more time
with Vapor, babe.

- Could you not yell at
me when I'm on Molly?

- Okay, guess I can
never yell at you, then.

Come on, come on.
- Shit. They're on the move.

I need all units here now.

[phone buzzing]
- Stop texting me, carWOW.

Damn.

- Right through here, honey.

- All of us together?
- All right, this van here.

Yeah. Let's hustle.

Come on. Come on.
- Should I change?

- Come on. No, you look great.

- The fuck?
- Please move a little faster.

- Excuse me.
- You can change later.

- Excuse me. What's going on?

- Ted, hi. We're
taking Camille home.

But, uh, great work today.

I'm gonna have my assistant
rate you five stars.

Now, let's get in. Time to go.

We're happy to help.
- Are we?

- That's really nice
of you, Tate, but...

- Yeah, it's not a
problem. We got her.

- You don't need to
leave your own party.

- Yeah. Can he just have her?

Can you go with him?
- No, we are taking her.

- My truck is right over...

- Ted, can you just
shut the fuck up?

[chuckles] I'm kidding.

Can you imagine
if I was that guy?

[chuckles] All right,
we gotta go. Hop in.

All right, in you
go. In, in, in.

Joe, start the car!

Get in! Get seated!
Let's move! Thank you.

- Don't yell at me!
- Joe, start the car.

- I'ma just hop right
in here with y'all.

- Whoa, sir, sir, you
can't just get in here.

Joe, pull over. We
have a stowaway.

- No, there's no
time. Joe, drive.

- We don't need a translator.

Camille's been using her phone
to communicate just fine.

- But we're not going for
just fine, now, are we?

- Are you gonna let him
talk to me like that?

- Like what?
- He said, "We're not going

for just fine, now, are we?"
- Yeah?

- He's using my words
against me, but mean.

- I don't know. I can't
fight him right now.

- Are you kidding
me? Say something...

- That's as much as
I can do right now!

I'm texting!

- So you guys always ride
around in a giant van?

- This is not a van.
We don't paint houses.

This is a Sprinter.

And I brought it to
hold all my presents,

but we left before I could...

- Have your assistant
bring the presents home!

- I fired my assistant, babe.

- Joe, left here. Turn left.

- Um, isn't the hotel
in the other direction?

- Yes. Mm-hmm.

I just gotta stop by
our house real quick

for a... for a business thing.

But good looking
out, Ted. Thank you.

Just a second, okay?
Hank, where are we?

- All packed and ready.
Plane is waiting.

When you're wheels up, in
the air, I will be in touch.

- You're coming in
the van with us.

- Right, of course.

Let me just text my wife
to have a good surgery.

- Uh, we don't
have time for that.

Let's focus.
- Hey, babe?

Why are all the bags out here?

- Oh, uh...

- Wait, are you taking
me on a surprise trip?

Are we going on a baby-moon?

Oh, my God!

I was like, "Why are we
leaving the party so early?

It couldn't be 'cause you care
that much about the surrogate,"

and you don't.

It's about me.

- Oh, yeah.
- [squeals]

- Doing some
shredding there, Tate?

- It's not a big deal, Ted.

We're just making
room for the baby.

We're just leaving
shreds on the curb?

- Shredding andburning!
Come on, guys!

There's a fire pit in the back!

- What the actual
fuck is going on?

- Uh, let's talk
about it in the van.

All right? Hop on.
- Okay.

I'm... yeah, why are
there bags of trash?

- Hop aboard.

Luggage, Hank.

[suspenseful music]

? ?

Yeah, we got time.

Okay. [clears throat]

So we may be in a bit of
financial trouble, and...

- What?

- The SEC might
be looking for me.

- No.
- And you.

And it's possible they were
gonna raid the baby shower

before I was
theoretically tipped off.

- What kind of
financial trouble?

- It's just a tax
goof, something about

HelpMePayMyBills.com's
filing status.

- I'm sorry, does
the SEC usually raid

people's baby
showers over goofs?

- They're also
accusing the company

of defrauding its users.

- We may have stolen
hundreds of millions

of dollars in donations.

- We? "We" we? We, you and me?

- Your name is on
all the documents.

You wanted to be
co-CEO, remember?

- Yeah, but that's
just a fake thing!

That was just so I could go

to Reese Witherspoon's
Girlboss Brunch.

- Well, too late!

- Am I going to jail?
- No!

Those are our go-bags,

and Hank has a jet waiting
to take us to Vietnam.

- And you're dropping
us off on the way, or...

- Vietnam is the least chic
place I've ever heard of.

You might as well take
us to fucking Somalia.

- We have to go somewhere
without an extradition treaty.

- "If you're fleeing, what's
the plan for the baby?"

- That's why we
stuffed you in...

Brought you in the van,
to see if you wanted

to come to Vietnam with us,
just until Vapor's born.

- She says, "Hell no."

- Okay, okay. Okay,
what about Morocco?

Morocco. I'm looking at...

Here's a list of countries
without extradition treaties.

The Maldives, like
in "The Bachelor."

They have those little
houses over the water.

- She's not going
to Morocco either.

- No, we're going
to the Maldives now.

New plan.
- This isn't a vacation, babe.

But the Maldives does
sound way better.

How the fuck did you
land on Vietnam, Hank?

- I had 45 minutes to
throw this together.

I had to give the pilot
my father's watch.

- She says she has a life here.

And yeah, is it illegal to
share a jet with fugitives?

Could she even come back?
- Yeah, of course.

Yeah, not a problem.
- That's unclear.

- What the fuck, Hank?

Look, we had a contract, okay?

You got paid, and in return,

you agreed to deliver us a baby.

- She said you still
owe her 40 grand.

- Because she hasn't
given us our baby yet.

That is our property, all right?

If you don't get on the
plane with us, it's stealing.

- That's not technically
how it works.

- God damn it, Hank,
one more word...

One more word, and you don't
get to come to Vietnam.

- The Maldives.
- I can't go to Vietnam.

I have a family.

- We need someone who
speaks the language.

- I don't speak Vietnamese.

- There's Duolingo, and it's
a 13-hour fucking flight.

You're going.

Okay. We can pay.

What do we owe you, 40K?

Would you come with us if
we made it an even 100?

Hmm?
- No.

- 200.
- She said she isn't going.

- $300,000.

- We said no!

This isn't "Deal or No Deal."

- What... where are we?

- Just one last stop.
I'll be right back.

Keep negotiating, babe.

Everyone has a price.

- Actually, my legs
are getting stiff.

Camille and I might, uh,
go for a little walk.

Take a stretch, you know?
- Yeah.

Maybe we should
all stick together.

Joe, help our new friends.

- Where are we?

[dog barking]

Babe, this is a
dangerous neighborhood.

- This neighborhood
is totally fine.

Normal people live here.
- What normal people

do you know with
houses this small?

- The person that lives here.

- Joe, you're standing
kind of close, man.

- Hey, baby.
- Hey.

- What's going on? Who
are all these people?

- Uh, yeah, Tiff, I need you
to grab that bag I left here.

You know, the leather satchel?
- Yeah.

- Mm-hmm.
- Okay.

Of course, baby.
- Do it. Quickly.

- Who the fuck is Tiff?
- Grow up, Blythe.

We all know what this
is, right, everyone?

- No!

- Yeah.
- No!

I have sacrificed so
much shit for you.

I keep my body tight for you.

Three-a-days, macro
tracking, Ensure IVs.

I got a fucking surrogate.

- Wait, I thought
the doctor said

you "couldn't have a child"?

- He did. He is my
plastic surgeon.

And he was like, "Girl,
you can't have a child,

not with that body."

So whatever. Same thing!

- Here you go, baby.
- You're moving so slow.

- If you call him baby
one more fucking time...

- Look, Camille! Here's
all the cash, see?

300K.
- She doesn't want your money.

- What?
[laughs]

- Good god, Tate.

Are you kidding?

Did you give my fucking
diamonds to your whore?

- Wow.

Girls from your generation
are broken, babe.

- We are the same age.

- No.
- And that is so fucked up.

- Okay, take the
diamonds. They're yours.

But if the Feds come, I
need you to swallow 'em.

- You want me to eat
these fucking diamonds?

You eat them.
- How dare you?

I have my throat thing.
- How dare you?

You know I don't
swallow. Never.

- Not a problem for me.

- Are you gonna... oh, no!

- No, no, no, don't
lose that. Shit!

- You fucking skank!
- God damn it, Joe,

The diamond!
- [screaming]

- You dropped some.
Come on, Hank!

Too good to pick up
diamonds? Whoa, whoa. Hey!

Come back here with my property!

- There's only one left!
- Hey, hey, come on, come on.

[grunting]

Come on.

300,000 wasn't my final price.

We can still negotiate.

- See? There's the problem!

You think being rich means
never having any consequences.

Defrauding thousands of
people? Doesn't matter.

You just flee the country.

Cheating on your
wife? Doesn't matter.

She'll be fighting to swallow
your diamonds in no time.

But guess what.

There's still some
things money can't buy,

and Camille is one
of those things.

So I'ma go call the Feds,
tell them where you are,

and when you get to
prison, let 'em know

it was Ted who sent you.

[engine turns over]

- Great, Joe. Fuck!

- Whoo-hoo! I was
right. I knew it!

Never trust white people in
color-coordinating outfits.

[laughs]

What's up with you?

- You wanna flee the
country with these crooks?

- Probably 20s in
there for padding.

- That was a nightmare!

Plus, I needed that money.

You don't.

You have your job.

- What?

- Why didn't you tell me?

- Embarrassing? Why?

People lose their
jobs all the time.

I mean, I...

[tense music]

I still have the farm.

Let me help you.

- What did you say to me?
- Please stop talking.

- You stop talking and
listen to me for once.

Like, I don't even know
what the fuck my life is.

Like, what have you done to me?

- Done to you?

Everything you have
is because of me!

When I met you,
you had roommates.

- I was a freshman in college!

- Yeah, at a state school.

- But I was out of state.

I paid full price for that.

- Ugh.

What the fuck is this?

[van beeping]

? ?

- What's up, Tate?
- Hi, Ted.

- Hey, so you probably
don't even remember,

but I kind of had a
big speech earlier.

- About how I'm a rich asshole

and there's some
things money can't buy.

- Mm, good. It made
an impact on you.

Anyway, I stand by the
broader social critique.

Lots of stuff for
you to marinate on.

But in this specific case,

money will get you
exactly what you want.

$300,000, Camille
will go to Vietnam.

We will take cash,

or if young miss wants to
cough up a few diamonds.

- Yeah, great. Either one.

Yeah? You can puke, right?

All right, pop
out. Joe's driving.

- I'll keep the money
safe until you get back.

Nessa and I will FaceTime
with you every night, okay?

- [coughing]

- Why the fuck is she here?

Is she coming to the
Maldives with us?

- You wouldn't swallow
the fucking diamonds.

- My stomach feels so random.

[coughs]

Wait, what?

- Hey, Joe?

There's a garage up
ahead on the left.

Turn there and head
up to the roof.

Okay, so a helicopter is
gonna meet us up there,

take us to Tallahassee
where we'll have a jet.

Then we'll go to
Canada to refuel,

and then on to Hanoi.

Wait, Joe, what are you doing?

You're going down.

We don't have time for...

[sirens wailing]

[indistinct radio chatter]

- What the fuck? How
did they beat us here?

- Exit the vehicle
with your hands up.

- So the thing is, after
Ted left us stranded

without a van, I thought
there was no way out.

So I called the SEC and
turned state's evidence.

- You have ten seconds.

- I got reduced sentences
for me and Blythe.

- [sighs]
- Yeah.

But in exchange, I had to
give up the real mastermind

behind HelpMePayMyBills.com

- Wait, who's the
real mastermind?

- We had a rogue
financial manager

cooking the books
without our knowledge.

- Hank, you piece of shit.

- What? No.

I only ever did what
you told me to do.

- Unbelievable.

- I tried to talk you out of it.

- Hank Ridgeway,
you're under arrest.

- No. No, no, no, no.

He's the mastermind!
He's the mastermind!

No!

Your father hired me!

I've known you since
you were a kid!

Fuck!
- Oh, this is ours.

This has nothing
to do with them.

She's a surrogate.

No crimes. No crimes!

- Comes around
goes around, Hank.

Geez.

So I'm sorry.

The government has
frozen all our assets.

I was gonna have Tiffany
shit out those diamonds,

but I guess they're
cutting her up inside,

and she needs surgery.

- Hey, fam, so a twist.

I might lose my asshole.

- Karma.

That's what you get
for letting a side ho

do a wife's job, just saying.

- So we don't have the 300K.

We don't even have 40K.

But we had a contract,
and since we can't pay,

you get to keep the baby.

- She says...

You get it.
- Mm.

- Babe, I'm gonna be in
jail for just a little bit.

But then I'm gonna have
my people call your people

as soon as baby Vapor is born.

You guys can get to know
each other a little bit,

and then they'll come grab him.

And if you could just,
like, breastfeed him

for a few weeks, that
would be so nice.

But obviously, like,
your body, your choice.

Just, like, do the right
thing for the baby.

I'll have my assistant
find you, okay?

You're a saint, Camille.
Thank you so much.

- Nice. Take care.

- Didn't you fire
your assistant?

- Well, first, we're
going to Five Guys.

Get some extra sodium in you.

- It's okay, okay?

I'm here for you.

All right?

Emotionally, financially,
whatever you need.

- I got you, Milly. I got you.

[soft music]

? ?

- What the fuck do you want?

- [sighs] Thank you for meeting.

I made a mistake.

I'd like to work
for you at the farm.

- Well, okay, then.

[yells]

[grunts]

[sighs]

Let's talk terms.

- ? My tears are falling ?

? 'Cause you've taken her away ?

? And though it
really hurts me so ?

? There's something
that I gotta say ?

[Carole King's "Take
Good Care of My Baby"]

? Take good care of my baby ?

? Please don't ever
make her blue ?

? ?

? Just tell her
that you love her ?

? Make sure you're
thinking of her ?

? In everything you say and do ?

? ?

? Take good care of my baby ?

? Now, don't you
ever make her cry ?

? ?

? Just let your
love surround her ?

? Paint a rainbow
all around her ?

? Don't let her
see a cloudy sky ?

? ?

? Once upon a time, that
little girl was mine ?

? If I had been true ?

? I know she'd
never be with you ?

? So take good care of my baby ?

? Be just as kind
as you can be ?

- Not a doctor. Shh.

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