All language subtitles for Heels.S02E04.720p.WEB.x265-MiNX

Previously on Heels...

Hey!

- You okay?
- I sprained my ankle.

I left the DWL because
no one really likes me.

I'm gone because
any other promotion

would've run me out of town.

We're not any other promotion.

I'm sorry I put the DWL first.

I'm sorry I kept
your son from you.

- Can I stay here?
- Of course.

Uhh! Ahh!

Y'all got to watch this.

Shocking
video has surfaced

of NFL linebacker Chris DeLeo

assaulting his wife.

This follows a disturbing trend

of athletes and
domestic violence...

We need a women's division.

We can't have Crystal
getting beat on each week

by every man on our
roster and vice versa,

she can't run through everyone.

It's a nice little story.

We've pulled it off this far,
but it's not sustainable.

You help me restore
my honor in the ring

with a cross-promotion
between the DWL and Dystopia

or I hit you back and
take everything you got.

♪ I'm not waiting for ♪

♪ The answer ♪

♪ I will ♪

♪ Walk in the shore ♪

♪ To find you ♪

♪ To find ♪

♪ The peace that's your own ♪

♪ Where you come from ♪

♪ All that you want ♪

♪ One that's your own ♪

♪ Place to call home ♪

♪ Won't be ♪

♪ Granted ♪

♪ What is fair in love ♪

♪ Is fair in war ♪

♪ What is fair in love ♪

♪ Is fair in war ♪

♪ One ♪

♪ When the sun arose ♪

♪ This morning ♪

- ♪ God didn't smile ♪
- Hi.

♪ He didn't smile on me ♪

Hey.

♪ I was all alone ♪

♪ I had no one... ♪

You have time for lunch?

If that's some kind of
metaphor, I'd love to say yes.

But I've got the county
people coming by Leckie,

and then I got a meeting with
Laurie about the Gully thing.

Don't worry,

initial consultation's free.

I'm not worried.

You decide what you're gonna do?

Willie thinks if I turn
down Gully's offer,

I'll lose in court or
we'll get tied up so long,

we go bankrupt.
Bill kind of agrees.

- They're probably not wrong.
- I know they're not wrong.

I just don't want
them to be right.

What do you think?

Jack,

there's a time if
you'd lost the DWL,

I wouldn't have minded,
but it'd devastate you.

Also, we'd probably
have to sell the house

end up living with your mother.

No, that's not...
That's not gonna happen.

I know.

Jack, I'm not trying
to be a Pollyanna here,

but have you considered maybe
just apologizing to Gully?

Man-to-man, saying, "Sorry I
let things get out of hand.

Can we resolve
this another way?"

Well, he's given no indication
he's that kind of guy,

but yeah. I mean, man-to-man.

I should. That's elementary.

- Hmm.
- Obvious.

And yet, I need you
to point it out.

Thank you.

- Hmm?
- Mm-hmm.

Mm-hmm.

I thought he was out back.

You didn't check?

I was a little focused on you.

It's so embarrassing.

Don't worry, I didn't
overhear you two

not doing whatever it
was you were doing.

Thought you'd gone out.

Where would I
go? Piggly Wiggly?

Sit on the roof
of the courthouse,

waving my arms for
everybody to see?

I'm supposed to be a thousand
miles away from here.

Brand-new life.

Didn't even make
it to Louisiana.

I know you're trying
to figure things out.

There is a
place for you here.

The DWL was always
supposed to be

the two of us working together.

Not according to Dad.

Well, I'm talking about us.

Wrestling'd just be getting
on the same treadmill

that put me here.

Not if we really did
things together this time.

The two of us. Even Steven.

You'd still be you.
I'd still be me.

My whole life, I had dad's plan,

then I had your plan.

I need my own plan that
puts wrestling behind me.

Okay.

What can I do to help?

I just...

I just need to stay
here a couple more days.

Okay.

Whoa.

Damn.

Holy shit!

She's muscular.

And fast.

And skilled.

Hey, I give up. I
give up. I give up.

- That's right.
- Oh.

You still
got it, girl.

Really? It feels
like you lost a step.

Feels less impressive.

Crystal, come on up.
Meet Elle Dorado.

Mountain of pure gold.

- Real name's Tanya.
- Hi.

Jack told me you needed
somebody to wrestle this week,

so I made a phone call

and retained the services
of this incomparable lady.

Welcome. Glad you're here.

Let's get after it.

My bad. I won't throw
the elbow so hard.

My grip wasn't solid.

Try not to
snatch at Elle's wrist.

Let her come to you.

Maybe whip into a
cross-body this time.

Okay. From the headlock?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

All right, hey, no
shame. No shame.

This y'all's first
dance together.

Y'all want to try
it without the whip?

If we can't land the spot
now, how are we gonna land it

15 minutes into the match
when we're both exhausted?

We could simplify. Go
with the clothesline.

You nail me. I take the bump.

No, we-we don't
need to simplify.

Hey, Elle's only
here to put you over.

I can do the spot.

Just... same again.

Well look at
that, he showed up.

I appreciate your willingness
to find a way forward

without suing me, but a
cross-promotional card

between the DWL and
the FWD is a bad idea.

I think it's a good idea.

You have your
brand of wresting,

and it's violent and
it's transgressive

and it's a whole bunch of
things that the DWL is not.

Your guys are
smashing each other

with fluoro-tubes
and barbed wire.

My guys...

they're focused on
storytelling and character.

Yeah, I'm not asking you
to cartwheel to the moon.

It's a onetime card. Your
people versus my people.

Okay? We do a whole buildup

about the grudge between
the two promotions.

I've already told you,
the most viewed video

on our Instagram page is
you punching me in the face.

So we have an obligation to
follow through on that setup.

Yeah, it's just not that simple.

What's going on here, Jack?

I-I-I feel that olive
branch tickling my taint.

Jack
went to his lawyer

and Jack's lawyer said
he wouldn't win in court.

And now he trying to
wiggle out from under.

I know...

that I owe you an apology

for coming to your
place and punching you.

- So I am sorry.
- "I'm sorry.

I'm sorry."

People say those words like
vocalizing that particular

string of vowels and
consonants is all that matters.

"I'm sorry."

Wow, that changes
everything. You punched me

on camera at my own promotion

in front of a crowd
conditioned to shout,

"Gully is God", which
means that you punched God.

Which kind of violates the whole

narrative character
construction of God.

May I shuttle in some
diplomacy in this bitch?

Jack, this is good business.

Now, I understand that
you got some momentum,

but FWD has a bigger
fanbase, bigger arena,

and bigger social media.

We giving you access
to all of that.

Yeah, that's if
there's a good story,

but if the rest of it
sucks, nobody wins.

Jack, it's wrestling.
It's not Faulkner.

Oh, well, he wants it to be.

I don't care, okay, Jack?

You've already admitted that
I have you over a barrel.

Okay? Your punch means
that I can file my lawsuit

and take your
promotion at any time.

I don't want to do that, okay?

If you'd just do
this cross-promotion,

the slate is wiped clean.

Your debt is paid. We can
move on from each other.

There is only one goal here:

to turn your punch from
a shoot into a work

so that my character is restored

to its rightful authority.

So that is what we
are going to do.

Now, I will leave it to
you two professionals

to work out the details.

My daughter just won
an academic scholarship

to Notre Dame, so I promised
her we'd go get sushi.

There's a sentence my
parents never said.

Put dinner on my tab.

I can't believe you
fuckin' work with that guy.

Ah, men with big
egos don't scare me.

I worked with you.

Look, if we're gonna
do this, we need...

We're doing this.

I don't know what the story is.

Sure you do. You
practically wrote it

longhand while you
was bitching to Gully.

It's a brand war.

Your style
versus Gully's style.

He's your villain, you're his,

and the fans get to pick sides.

And you get to yell out

all the nasty shit you feel
about Dystopia out loud.

Yeah, but who wins?

To be determined. Uh,
probably a split decision.

Something that everyone
can go home happy.

It's not gonna pop.

Because we both gonna be
yelling into the void.

Our fans are only
going to hear our side

and your people are
only gonna hear yours.

You're right.

That's why I'm coming in
as FWD's ambassador...

The voice of the
enemy inside DWL.

How'd I know you were
gonna give yourself

a starring role in all this?

I knew y'all wouldn't
gonna give me one.

It's a every-man-for-hisself
type of world.

Yo, I
did one of those,

you know, online master
classes with one of them,

you know, action
directors from, you know,

the action movies and shit.
And he was saying if you really

wanna convey pain, you gotta
set it up with want and need.

And so, yeah, I was
thinking want and needs

got to go more into
the stories, you know?

Yeah, Diego, trying to
follow your train of thought

is like trying to
fuck a kangaroo

in the cone of a tornado.

Huh.

Uh, did you call
Man-Beast Magoo about

doing the podcast while
we're at the convention?

Alvin? No.

But he doesn't commit to
anything till last minute.

It's gonna be so cool.
When I was a kid in Miami,

I saw him eat the stuffing
out of all four turnbuckles.

What you didn't see
was him backstage

barfing those
turnbuckles back up.

- No way.
- That shit's not gonna digest.

I was looking at

the Super-Fan website...

It said the Texas Slinger was
gonna be at the convention too.

- Jimmy-John?
- Uh-huh.

Yeah, if he's sober, we'll
get him for the podcast.

Man, I love that old
promo where he smashed you

with the guitar.

Man, I'll bet you
guys had some times.

Yeah, and I remember
'em all. Sorta.

Wow!

I totally used to
want one of these.

You could never find them.

Distribution problem.

They only pushed certain
parts of the line.

Hey, you're not gonna be

some gushing fanboy
all day, are you?

- No. I...
- Because this is work.

Mistake most wrestlers make

is they treat these
conventions as a ego stroke.

The status of my
ego is irrelevant.

The goal for the day is

the cathartic
validation of the fan.

The happier the fan, the
more money they spend,

of which I get a
defined percentage.

Fifty percent of autographs,

100% of all personalized
merchandise.

Ooh. Can I have
one of these too?

I passed out on the floor

and you left me
down here all night?

Yup.

Good. Don't
ever pick me up

if I'm on the floor.

I deserve it.

Oh, I think I might throw up.

You already did. All
over the bathroom.

Oh, God,
I'll clean it.

Yes, you will.

I'll tell Robin
you're sleeping in.

Hey, Staci, I hate to ask
you, but Willie's AWOL.

Could you... could you
handle the beer delivery?

Yeah, I can do it.

I'd reschedule, but I
gotta shoot an offsite,

or we'll be dry this week.

I'm happy to help. I
just have to get Thomas

to his appointment
at the therapist.

Hey, why
don't you have Thomas

hang with Ace after school.

It'd be good for both of
them. Get Ace out the garage.

Good idea.
See you soon.

So my tooth hits this
girl right in the skull.

Got your speech?

I'm not making a speech.

Yeah, Jack's gonna
let you make a speech.

It's your picture on the wall.

He's forcing you to
surrender the belt.

The national call to
action on domestic violence

is forcing me to surrender
the belt, not Jack.

Hey, everybody,
gather around.

Come on now.

For as long as there
has been a DWL,

photos of our champions
have lined this wall

whether they held the belt
for a couple of years,

a few months, or
just a few days.

Crystal Tyler,

you deserve to be up here.

Congratulations.

- Good work.
- Thank you.

Forgot my fancy
dress.

Okay, now, uh,

I can spend a lot of time
explaining why, but, uh...

I'm just gonna come
right out and say it.

The DWL and Florida
Wrestling Dystopia

are going to be doing a cross-
promotional card next month.

Oh, criminy Dutch.

Oh, come on, Jack. Really?

I know. I get it.

Gully's a fucking cunt.

Good God, Jim. What's
gotten into you?

Can't go just droppin'
hard Cs with women present.

No, it-it's okay,
Ricky. I agree with Jim.

I don't know the guy, but
I'll take your word for it.

I know it's not the easiest fit.

Okay? But Dystopia, they
got a bigger fanbase,

they got more resources,

and we are going to
tap into all of that.

So from here on out
is all hands on deck.

Jim, Bobby, Ricky...
Get in your gear.

Thirty minutes outside,
we're gonna shoot an offsite.

Okay? We're gonna kick off
this storyline just right.

That-that's it. T-that's all.

To-Tobar, hey. Hey.

Hey, Jack, real quick.

You said all hands on
deck. This here Tobar.

He working on an
Olivia Newton-John

"Let's Get Physical" type thing.

Might be something you're
interested in for the offsite.

Right. No. Okay. Better
luck next time, kid.

Let's go.

Dust off that Dracula, a'ight?

So... you need me
for the offsite?

I need you here. I want
you to work with Elle.

We're breaking out
the new women's belt.

I want your match to pop.

It will. Elle's a pro.

So are you.

Things goes well, we'll
bring her back here,

we'll build her up into
a real rival for you.

You get the 5% off
sexy discount inside.

Well, all right.

I thought they'd
have bigger signs

and, like, those velvet ropes.

Well,

you get what you
get at these things.

Still it should garner
solid foot traffic

along the edge between
pretzels and the restrooms.

Let's set up shop.

♪ I'm gonna need Someone to help me ♪

♪ I'm gonna need
Somebody's hand ♪

♪ I'm gonna need someone ♪

- ♪ To hold me down ♪
- Enjoy.

♪ I'm gonna need
someone to care ♪

- ♪ I'm gonna ride ♪
- Wow.

♪ And shake my body ♪

♪ I start pulling
out My hair ♪

♪ I'm gonna cover myself
With the ashes of you ♪

♪ And nobody's
gonna Give a damn ♪

Give me this. Whoo.

♪ Son of a bitch ♪

♪ Give me a drink ♪

♪ One more night ♪

♪ This can't be me ♪

♪ Son of a bitch ♪

♪ If I can't get clean ♪

Who's next? Oh, my.

Bottoms up.

♪ Whoa, whoa ♪

♪ Whoa ♪

- ♪ Whoa ♪

Hey, Dad, let's roll one.

You got it.

I have never been a gentle man.

I never been a gentleman either.

I'm a bad guy,

but I'm your bad guy.

I know what you know.

I know who's winning
in this country

and who's taking a beat down.

So when Charlie Gully and
his team of corporate lawyers

threaten me with a lawsuit

trying to destroy
my family business,

I said, "Hell no."

See, we live in a world where
the haves think they can

take what they want
and the rest of us,

well, we'll just be overjoyed

with the crumbs that
fall off the table.

To that I say, "Hell no."

Hell no to frauds
like Charlie Gully

and his Dystopia Wrestling.

This a man who
calls himself God.

There's only one God.

So I'm here to challenge you

to settle this beef in the ring.

One night,

one card,

your best versus my best.

Because these men behind me,

they are an army
representing all of our fans.

An army of pissed
off, fed up Americans

who've had enough of the
Charlie Gullys in this world

and have said, "Hell no."

And when we're done,
I'm gonna crack a beer

and we're gonna light
up some fireworks.

Fellas,

I thought we checked those.

That's
fine. It's fine.

We'll just massage it in post.

You ain't got nothing
to worry about.

That shit was Biblical.

It was the truth.

Well, you be sure to write me
some equally Biblical truth

for me to spit in
my promo Saturday.

I'll fucking write
you something.

Something good.

Don't be stingy
with your talent.

The better I look, the better
you look for taking me on.

What's
goin' on fellas?

I got to say, your speech on
circumcision really touched me.

Like you, I was mangled in
the name of genital hygiene.

Glad I could make you
feel not so alone.

I'd love to get a
pic side by side,

both our junk hanging free.

Might trigger a few folks,

and I'd hate for you
to feel less than,

seeing yours next to mine.

Oh, no, my wang's huge.

Meet me in the men's
room. I'll show you.

- No?
- Yep.

My balls are pretty big too.

Oh, my God.

Oh, hey, it's
Man-Beast and Slinger.

Grab your camera. This'll
be a good video clip.

Yeah.

Holy shit.

What the hell are
you two wearing?

Good to see you, too, Sport-o.

No, I'm serious. You look like

you lost all your
clothes in a house fire

and picked those ones out
of a dumpster behind Kmart.

Not all of us has got
the guts to go around

muffin topping out of
stinky old leathers.

I'll have you know these
pants fit just as good

as the day you
dislocated my shoulder.

Your waist does look
about the same, but...

your inseam seems to
have shrunk a few inches.

Hey.

No, uh, seriously. Alvin,
you're the Man-Beast.

Where's your gear?

No one wants to
see me in my gear.

I only come to these things
to help out Jimmy-John.

What's wrong with him?

Left it all in the ring.

As a man should.

I bring him here,
he makes some cash,

it helps him cover his bills

when he remembers
he's got bills.

I wish I could forget
a few of my bills.

Is that your way of saying

you ain't picking up
the check at dinner?

Oh, like you never
stuck me with a check.

Toledo, Tacoma, Tucson, Tulsa...

and
that's just the Ts.

Oh!

What are you looking at?

Hey, I got to say.

I been a huge fan
for a long time.

I work with Bill at the DWL.

I'm a wrestler.

Anyone here recognize you?

No, I wrestle in
a mask, you know?

Well, lucky you.

Harder to make money,
but less hassle.

Hey, you-you want a
T-shirt or a button?

I mean, I'm-I'm sure Bill'd
let you have whatever you want.

I like pepperoni.

Got to get Jimmy-John
to his table.

Dinner, 8:00. We'll
have a drink before.

We'll
have five before,

three during, and two after.

And I'm gonna record
you for my podcast.

Whatever you need, Sport-o.

Don't call me Sport-o.
I hate fucking Sport-o.

Okay, Sport-o.

You get enough for
us to post a clip?

Mm-hmm.

Just make sure you cut
out all that Sport-o crap.

I hate that shit.

I can't seem to find where it
lists the total number of kegs.

Oh, um, first column
at the bottom. Total.

Right.

Willie around?

Not at the moment.
Can I help you?

Not if you can't find Willie.

You sure she's not around?

I'm so
sorry, she's not.

She leave anything for me?

If you tell me your name,
I could check her office.

Would it be, like,
an envelope or?

You Jack's wife?

I am. Have we met? I'm Staci.

Nice to meet you, Staci.

I guess, Willie must've
confused the dates.

Never you mind.

You have a nice day now.

- Thanks. You too.
- Mm-hmm.

Let's make this
quick, little man.

In and out, and get us back
to the garage and the Xbox.

Okay.

What flavor we
getting? Red or blue?

If I get blue, Mom
will see my lips

and know we got slushies.

Well, if you're worried,
we don't got to get them.

No, I'll just get red.

You know, red's not invisible.

Hey, careful with that.

Sorry.

It's okay. It's just...

old.

Hey, don't spill it.

Hey, grow up.

If you wanna go talk to her,

I can wait in the
car while you pay.

You don't got to
wait in the car.

I'll wait in the car.

Hey.

Ace, hey.

Uh, I didn't know you were back.

When-when did you get back?

Uh, just a couple days.

Oh.

Jack didn't say anything.

So, uh, where'd you go?

Took the long way
around to nowhere.

Fell off a cliff.

I saw the video of, uh,
you and Jack's match.

Killer.

Yeah. Now I just gotta figure
out how to do it every week

against women who are
bigger and stronger and...

more experienced, so...

Experience is overrated.

I just got a whole bunch of it,

and it didn't leave
me any better off.

No, Jack will take care of you.

He knows what he's got.

I don't know, this... this
vet he had Ricky bring in,

she's only here for
the week, but...

she's, uh, she's good.

You're good.

I have my strengths.

We'll see if they're enough.

Come on. I'll ring you up.

You should call Big
Jim and the guys.

I'm sure they'd all
love to see you.

I don't really want
anyone knowing I'm back.

Uh, do me a favor.
Don't say anything.

Yeah, if that's what you want.

Jack said, uh, you and Bobby...

Yeah. We are.

Good.

He's a good dude.

You deserve a good dude.

Uh...

Keep the change.

Thomas.

Thomas.

Thomas!

What's wrong, buddy?

I'm sorry.

I dropped it, and a car
dragged it out there.

I'm sorry, uncle Ace.

It's all right, buddy.

It's just a prop.

It's Granddad's crown.

No one will even miss it.

Please don't tell Dad.

Your dad won't care.
He never liked it.

I used to think it
looked important,

but your dad, he was smart.

He knew it was just...

Fabric and plastic.

Come on. Let's go home bud.

Did Granddad
ever wrestle with you?

No.

Did he
wrestle with my dad?

They'd wrestle,

but Granddad didn't like
putting people over.

He liked being the winner.

Uh, when you put someone
over, it means you get pinned.

The funny thing is when
you do put someone over

and you're laying there
on your back looking up,

half the cheers
are really for you.

So it's not so bad.

When are you gonna
get back to wrestling?

When you gonna start wrestling?

I don't think
Dad wants me to wrestle.

He says I'm too small.

For now, but wrestling
ain't about size.

You and I could wrestle.

I'm serious.

Come on. Get up.

All right, grab my hands.

Ooh, that's right.

Damn, you're strong!

Ah... ahh! All
right, now, sling me.

Ohh! Ah...

Kid's got moves.
You got moves, huh?

All right.

- Hey!
- Where you going, huh?

Where you going? That's
right, circle up.

Circle up now. Oh,
all right. Lock up.

With the
kids out of the house,

Cindy finished her degree,

and I took over running
the Froyo shops,

which isn't hard if you
hire the right managers.

So it's mostly me and the dogs

and a stack of books
on medieval history.

Is this what you want, Bill?

I was hoping for something
a little more colorful,

- but we can edit it.
- Yeah.

What about the old guard?

Jeff, Jake, Sammy.

Y'all still get rowdy?

Not really.

Jeff's up in Minnesota.
Bad hips, bad knees.

Saw Jake and Sammy
at Duke's funeral.

Duke was a wild man.

That show y'all put on at
the Pond was a all-timer.

Glad
it was memorable.

I was concussed, so the whole
match is kind of a blank.

Didn't stop you from
drinking 13 beers

in the locker room.

Again, concussed.

We kept track with a
Sharpie on our necks.

I won with 17.

When you're young, you
can do these things.

It was an amazing
match. I have it on VHS.

I'm happy to loan it to you.

I'll take your word for it.

What about Sammy and Jake?
You remember the night

the four of us hit the
dance club outside Raleigh?

Sammy and Jake get
into a fistfight

over these identical
twins and you say,

"Why are you fighting when you
can't even tell them apart?"

I think that was
your line, Bill.

Well, it was a good line.

Sammy and
I, we trade emails.

He's been sober a
couple of years.

Jake's kinda down and out.

Fused the vertebrae in his neck

and never got off the pills.

And what about you?

You keep in touch
with Oppy or Mike

or anyone from
the show up north?

Nah. When I had my troubles,
they all turned their back,

so fuck 'em.

They're
good guys at heart.

It's the nature of the business.

The business to them.

My life, to me.

And that is why you
made it to the top.

Now, I loved wrestling,

but when the pain got too much,

I made sure there was
something else in my life.

But you, you-you took whatever

part of you existed
outside of your gimmick

and you carved it
out with a spoon.

Because I had balls.

Hundred percent,

and the proof's that
you're still at it.

Me, I was happy taking

Man-Beast off and
on like a cape.

You want me to stop recording?

No, it's fine. We'll
pick it up from here.

Counting in three, two, one.

So, Alvin, what
you're telling me is

when your knees started to hurt,

you turned into a giant pussy
who likes dogs and Froyo,

or do I have that
incorrect somehow?

Is this a bit, Sport-o?

Honest question.

'Cause if you want
to do a bit...

I want an answer.

I'm a happy man, Sport-o.

Most of our generation are
crippled, broken, or dead.

One way or another,
we were all addicted.

The crowd, the adrenaline,

standing in the
center of that ring.

So when I see you
still clawing away

on that same, damn
hill, I understand.

And I cheer for you,

but I don't wish I was you.

I'm gonna hit the salad
bar. Anybody want anything?

Croutons.

Turn
the recorder off.

- Get me another two of these.
- Waiter should be coming by.

I don't want to
wait for the waiter.

Just go to the bar and get
me two goddamn martinis.

Sure. Whatever
the fuck you say.

You gonna drink your martini?

Yeah.

You got
a time table on that?

When I'm thirsty.

Whoo.

So there is some
fight left in you.

And I ain't just

clawin' away.

I got plans

to make it all the
way back to big show.

If you say.

I do. I say.

What the fuck?

Lookee here. My
drink just arrived.

What you gonna do about that?

I always like seeing you, Bill.

A flamin' disgrace.
The both of them.

At least Jimmy-John can blame it

on his smashed eggplant
brain, but Alvin?

He just got off the damn horse.

It's easy to get off the horse.
Anyone can get off the horse.

I ain't getting
off the damn horse.

So should I get these
in a go cup or...

Everything in life

is a choice.

Flossing your teeth is a choice.

And if my only choice
is to turn into...

or...

I still ain't getting off

the damn horse!

Shit.

Ready to go?

Mm. Let me finish
my cheap calories

and find some ibuprofen.

You okay if I borrow,
like, a half dozen?

Yeah, take a couple for
now, a couple for later.

They're all for now.

Does a number on my stomach,

but keeps me in the
ring and out of surgery.

Is your knee that bad?

Knee, shoulder, back.

Road dogging town to
town doesn't help.

Have you tried CBD?

I've tried everything
short of heroin.

Acupuncture works best,
but who can afford it?

I get that.

I had health
insurance once.

I managed to hang onto that
for, like, two whole years.

Had an apartment, a ficus.

And like most places,

they only carry
two or three women,

so they run out of stories
and combinations pretty quick,

then it's off down the road.

Well, let's run it

forwards and backwards
until it pops.

Well, it's a promo.

It's a heel promo.
You're playing the heel.

I mean, I cou-I
could dress this up,

but you're not
exactly playing fair.

You standing on your tank,

fighting for the
soul of America.

This? This-this might as
well be "See Spot Run."

I don't want to
write for you at all.

I'm only doing it
'cause I have to.

Oh, poor Jack.

The only one in life
forced to do shit

that he don't want to do.

Gully put a gun to my head.
Do you expect me to like it?

You think I wanted to leave DWL?

You leaving was your choice.

You didn't have to leave.

Didn't I?

It was a smart
move. Got me a belt.

I got champ on all of my merch.

What? You think I didn't
have to pay a price.

You know what?

You're Yertle, Jack.

- The turtle?
- King Turtle.

Sitting on a throne held up
by a stack of other turtles,

but instead of realizing that
he's standing on the back

of 157 people,

he's pissed 'cause
there's still birds

and shit still higher up.

The promo's the promo.

You polish it up if you want to.

It's
your ring, Jack.

As this
footage goes...

we haven't seen it. A
few seconds later...

I got this idea.

It may be stupid and childish,
but childish is my specialty.

I could use some help.

Hey.

Did I miss something?

Ace was here.

Oh, I didn't know he was back.

He doesn't
want anyone to know.

Is it like a-a big deal?

For him...

but not for us.

♪ The old white lightning ♪

♪ Can't set me off ♪

Heard what you said.
Wrote you some new stuff.

It's a lot.

♪ Yeah, cut me off ♪

♪ Get on your horse, boys ♪

♪ Said adios ♪

♪ To the hey, hey, hey ♪

Hey.

How was the convention?

Great. Diego got
to meet his heroes,

got stuff for the podcast,
satisfied the fans,

then went out and
satisfied our thirst.

Must've been nice to see
some of your old crew, hmm?

Yeah, you know?

Hey. Uh,

I was thinking maybe it
wouldn't be the worst thing

to get myself an apartment.
The motel is depressing.

Maybe you can point me
in the right direction.

Yeah, let me think on it.

It won't be long-term.

I been coming to matches

for over two decades
here at the Duffy Dome.

I've seen a lot
of great matches,

but few with the
combination of inspiration

and ingenuity as
Crystal's defeating

Jack Spade and
Wild Bill Hancock.

For that reason,

a new era has been
initiated here at the DWL.

Where women and
men, boys and girls,

will spend awe-filled
evenings enjoying

our new women's division.

All hail our inaugural
woman's champion,

Crystal Tyler.

Whoo.

All right, here we go.

And we're off here

at the inaugural match
of the DWL women's league

with special guest
commentator Wild Bill Hancock

at the table with us tonight.

Like a Florida State
defensive back there.

Elle Dorado
teaching Crystal Tyler

what it's like to be a real pro.

Oh...
oh, that's...

that's another region
there. That's not right.

- Watch out. Oh!
- There you go.

That's exactly
the kind of dirty stuff

I'd expect from her.

That's
not dirty, Bill.

That's just good old
fashioned wrestling.

She does know
how to work the legs.

I've never seen a wrestler
use their legs this much.

Oh ooh hoo hoo!

Old Denny there
with the slow count.

She's got
her by the ears.

Right into the turnbuckle.

She got a face
full of foot there.

Here she comes.

Oh!

Welcome to Elle
Dorado's elbow, Crystal Tyler.

That's gotta
hurt. She's in trouble now.

Got a little bit
of taunting going on here.

Welcome to
planet Earth, Crystal Tyler.

Don't
count her out yet.

Come on, Elle.

Suplex.

Oh, no.

Come on, Elle.

Tyler reversed it.

That's gonna be
lifetime of back pain.

She's got her by the ears again.

I like that.

- Claw her.
- Rip her face off.

Come on, Crystal.

Oh, right down
on the back of her head.

Unbelievable.
Unbelievable.

That's got to hurt.

She goes
for one, two, three.

There we are.

Crystal Tyler, ladies and
gentlemen. I don't believe it.

Well, of
course she won, Bill.

She beat the hell out of you.

I protested
that result Eddie.

Crystal! Crystal!

Crystal Tyler.

Still undefeated.

There's a spill right in
front of the merch table.

Can you please clean
it up? Thank you.

Night's going well.

Seems like.

All right, now.

It's time for tonight's
tag team main event,

sponsored by Eddie
Earl's Title Pawn.

When you're needy,
we're not greedy.

Oh yeah!

Rooster
Robbins? The defector!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You all know the routine.

I'm the SOB that left town,

and you're the yokels
here to boo me.

But what did I do?

Other than realize if I wanted

to make something out of myself,

that I had to do something

that none of you had
the courage to do.

And that's leave this
pissant one stoplight town.

See, I knew as long as
Jack Spade was in charge,

all the stories would
be about Jack Spade.

Mr. Small Town, family values,

champion of the little guy

with his holier-than-thou

stuck in the past fairy
tale wrestling bullshit.

See, the only thing
that Jack Spade

has ever been champion
of is himself.

He's a con man selling
you that cowboy myth.

Lone Ranger riding
through the plains...

That shit is antique!

Horses are slow, but the future?

Oh, it's big, it's
loud, and it's fast.

So go ahead,

boo me.

Yeah, I'm gonna make my future.

I'm gonna get out there
and grab all that I can.

Now, that's the real America.

So listen up, Jack.

FWD accepts your challenge.

A full grudge match card.

You and your people
versus the future.

Yeah, that's right.

Florida Dystopia is coming

and we don't knock, we
don't take no prisoners,

we kick ass, and we march on.

Rooster.

Word for word.

Tell
you, these people,

they do love this
tag team match.

A lot of
happy customers.

He is handing
out some business cards.

Right there, two
of them in a row.

Hope that mask is
padded, quite frankly.

Oh, we get
a reverse from Diego.

Do-si-do.

Oh, that's a
lot of man coming at you,

but Wild Bill knows
just how to handle it.

Nothing new to him.

He must've
seen that elbow coming.

And coming down...

Oh, it's an elbow again.

With a
vengeance to his head.

That'll put
you down, let me tell you.

Staying alive.

And the crowd
loves it. He struts.

Haven't seen some of
that dance since about 1978.

Oh, throat slash.

And oh, he goes for Ricky Rabies

for no reason out in
the corne. Come on.

And he tags in Big Jim.

And Big Jim hops the rope.

He's setting up something
here, into the turnbuckle,

he's coming out, he picks
him up like a new groom.

Oh,
he's gonna come down

and Big Jim comes down...

You don't want

to be underneath
that. One, two...

Oh, Ricky Rabies...

He's foaming at the mouth.

Oh, he
bites his ear off.

He goes
completely rabid.

- Look, he's... he's completely...
- He's out of his mind.

He's chased
everyone out of the ring.

Bill is there trying
to calm him down.

Oh, and he
turns on his own partner.

Bill has to run out of the ring.

He's out of his gourd
ladies and gentlemen...

- You all right, Bill?
- What's going on with him?

With all... come on
now. Hey, hey, hey.

Oh, my goodness.
None of this is okay.

He's got to... he
better... wait, wait.

Wait,
now we got Rooster!

Where are
these guys coming from?

This is an invasion
from Florida.

He just put this rabid man...

Completely come...

Oh! With a double
kick and he's down.

Traitor.

That's
how you put down

the rabid man right there.

Whoa, he is down.

Ladies and gentlemen...

- No. Hey, hey, hey. No.
- Okay. Hey, hey, hey.

- You guys...
- They're taking the DWL belt.

A couple of
posers, I tell you.

- Traitor.
- We need to get

security in here on
Rooster right away.

Call
security down here.

Just coming
up here and posing.

Yeah! Yeah!

And the
lights have gone out.

It doesn't seem to be
Rooster or The Hole.

What the
hell is going on?

Who is this mystery guest?

Is this Jack Spade in a hoodie?

I come to you,

a damned soul in
search of redemption.

I will break free.

I will not stop until my
redemption is obtained.

I am,

the Condamned.