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1
00:00:25,595 --> 00:00:27,264
- Hi.
- Oh.
2
00:00:27,297 --> 00:00:28,901
Hello, love.
3
00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:31,239
You and Dad are going out
for dinner later, right?
4
00:00:31,272 --> 00:00:33,376
Um, yeah, we've got a
table booked for 7:30.
5
00:00:33,409 --> 00:00:34,746
If we were dreadful people,
6
00:00:34,779 --> 00:00:36,750
we might even call
it a date night.
7
00:00:36,783 --> 00:00:38,162
Well, before that, there's
someone coming around
8
00:00:38,186 --> 00:00:39,488
who I'd like you to meet.
9
00:00:39,521 --> 00:00:42,127
- Her name's Holly.
- Holly. Okay, great.
10
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:44,131
And she's my girlfriend.
11
00:00:44,164 --> 00:00:49,576
Hey! Hey, Ava. That's,
uh, that's fantastic.
12
00:00:49,609 --> 00:00:52,514
It is. I thought it was about
time. Anyway, she's brilliant.
13
00:00:52,548 --> 00:00:54,485
- You'll like her.
- Of course we will.
14
00:00:54,518 --> 00:00:56,557
Don't do anything weird,
but you're gonna love her.
15
00:00:56,590 --> 00:00:57,935
It's only been two weeks,
16
00:00:57,959 --> 00:01:01,199
but it feels like
ages... in a good way.
17
00:01:01,232 --> 00:01:03,536
- Do you remember that feeling?
- Just about. Yes.
18
00:01:03,570 --> 00:01:04,906
Well, it's a great feeling.
19
00:01:21,272 --> 00:01:23,276
Hey, hon.
20
00:01:23,309 --> 00:01:26,282
- Paul, Amber alert. Amber alert.
- What?
21
00:01:26,315 --> 00:01:27,819
I'm pretty sure
Ava just came out.
22
00:01:27,852 --> 00:01:29,890
Wow!
23
00:01:29,923 --> 00:01:32,528
Shit. It's happening.
24
00:01:32,562 --> 00:01:35,701
Yes! She wants to introduce
us to her girlfriend
25
00:01:35,734 --> 00:01:37,972
before we head out
tonight. Holly.
26
00:01:38,005 --> 00:01:38,983
Thought you said
her name was Amber.
27
00:01:39,007 --> 00:01:41,747
Oh, Christ. It's good to
laugh, isn't it, Paul?
28
00:01:41,780 --> 00:01:44,351
Sorry. Yeah, yeah, all right.
29
00:01:44,384 --> 00:01:46,657
Listen, let's not
fuck this one up, shall we?
30
00:01:46,690 --> 00:01:49,528
Noted. I mean, it's
nice, though, isn't it?
31
00:01:49,562 --> 00:01:51,499
- Nice that she's including us.
- Yeah.
32
00:01:51,532 --> 00:01:52,892
- Mum?
- Oh, fuck.
33
00:01:53,336 --> 00:01:54,982
- Hiya, love.
- We're out of peanut butter.
34
00:01:55,006 --> 00:01:56,518
Do we have any more? Because
Holly loves peanut butter.
35
00:01:56,542 --> 00:01:57,779
It's, like, one of her things.
36
00:01:57,812 --> 00:01:59,525
Have you checked behind
Dad's horrible chutneys?
37
00:02:00,818 --> 00:02:01,753
Ooh!
38
00:02:03,422 --> 00:02:05,359
You're gonna love her, Mum.
39
00:02:08,533 --> 00:02:10,571
Ta-da!
40
00:02:10,604 --> 00:02:12,440
- Lovely to meet ya, Ally.
- Hi, Ava.
41
00:02:14,344 --> 00:02:17,351
- Oh.
- It's an orange. Wine.
42
00:02:17,384 --> 00:02:19,698
Looks like auld piss, but tastes
nothing like it, I promise.
43
00:02:19,722 --> 00:02:21,960
"Auld piss." Fantastic.
44
00:02:21,993 --> 00:02:26,703
That's... That's very,
very kind of you. Thanks.
45
00:02:28,306 --> 00:02:30,578
- I'm Siobhan.
- Yes, no, yeah, of course.
46
00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:31,789
Darren's told me
so much about you.
47
00:02:31,813 --> 00:02:33,450
- Oh, God, how much?
- Tons.
48
00:02:33,483 --> 00:02:34,995
In fact, I thought he
might have been going
49
00:02:35,019 --> 00:02:37,725
- through your bins.
- Uh, Siobhan's building, uh,
50
00:02:37,758 --> 00:02:39,495
actually has
communal bins, so...
51
00:02:39,528 --> 00:02:40,874
- So, were you guys...
- Uh, I wouldn't go through them
52
00:02:40,898 --> 00:02:43,838
- even if they weren't.
- No. Yeah. Um...
53
00:02:43,871 --> 00:02:46,777
But were you just passing by
54
00:02:46,810 --> 00:02:49,850
and you sensed that I
needed some wine or...
55
00:02:49,883 --> 00:02:51,753
No, we're
here for dinner.
56
00:02:51,786 --> 00:02:53,624
You invited us round for dinner?
57
00:02:53,657 --> 00:02:55,761
Yes, but, oh, God, no,
no. That's not this week.
58
00:02:55,794 --> 00:02:57,899
- That's next week.
- I don't think so.
59
00:02:57,932 --> 00:03:00,403
Mm. Um...
60
00:03:00,436 --> 00:03:01,639
Sorry.
61
00:03:04,511 --> 00:03:06,717
Shit. Shit.
62
00:03:06,750 --> 00:03:09,956
Yes. Oh. Susie and Chris
are coming, too. Um...
63
00:03:09,989 --> 00:03:11,727
Would you like us to bugger off?
64
00:03:11,760 --> 00:03:14,699
No! No, no, no, no. It's
fine. Come... Come on in.
65
00:03:14,732 --> 00:03:17,404
I was just about to put on
a massive pot of... food.
66
00:03:17,437 --> 00:03:18,574
- Food?
- Yeah.
67
00:03:18,607 --> 00:03:20,677
One of my favorites.
68
00:03:28,025 --> 00:03:29,729
Is this okay? With Holly coming?
69
00:03:29,762 --> 00:03:32,669
Fine. Nice for her to meet
everyone. I want this to be...
70
00:03:32,702 --> 00:03:34,573
well, not a huge
thing, but a big thing.
71
00:03:34,606 --> 00:03:37,779
Okay. Right. Drinks.
72
00:03:37,812 --> 00:03:39,424
- Can I just use your bathroom?
- I can show you where it is.
73
00:03:39,448 --> 00:03:41,018
Just going upstairs myself.
74
00:03:47,899 --> 00:03:50,938
Right, uh, one
thing. I haven't got any kids.
75
00:03:50,971 --> 00:03:52,976
- Have they died?
- They haven't,
76
00:03:53,009 --> 00:03:55,347
but as far as Siobhan's
concerned, they don't exist.
77
00:03:55,380 --> 00:03:56,959
So, you haven't told Siobhan
about your twin girls?
78
00:03:56,983 --> 00:03:58,554
That's mad.
79
00:03:58,587 --> 00:04:00,032
I just sort of panicked
at the start there.
80
00:04:00,056 --> 00:04:01,001
Well, how long
ago was the start?
81
00:04:01,025 --> 00:04:02,528
A couple of months back.
82
00:04:02,562 --> 00:04:04,532
Siobhan is child-free,
and the twins are,
83
00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:07,004
well, you know, a strong
flavor.
84
00:04:07,037 --> 00:04:09,341
I think I love her, Ally.
85
00:04:09,374 --> 00:04:11,121
I think I'd rather have
Siobhan than the twins.
86
00:04:11,145 --> 00:04:12,549
You don't mean that.
87
00:04:12,582 --> 00:04:14,586
You know it's their 13th
coming up? Birthday?
88
00:04:14,619 --> 00:04:15,897
Do you know what
they asked me for?
89
00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:18,059
I thought maybe new
phones, concert tickets,
90
00:04:18,092 --> 00:04:20,096
but they asked me if I'd
climb into a suitcase
91
00:04:20,129 --> 00:04:22,467
and let them carry me
around for 20 minutes.
92
00:04:22,500 --> 00:04:24,013
- Jesus Christ.
- I think they just wanted
93
00:04:24,037 --> 00:04:25,741
to see if they
could make me do it.
94
00:04:25,774 --> 00:04:27,946
You know, capitulate to their
will. I mean, they're 13.
95
00:04:27,979 --> 00:04:29,625
- Did you do it?
- Yes, of course I did it.
96
00:04:29,649 --> 00:04:31,485
Oh.
97
00:04:31,518 --> 00:04:33,918
Please, Ally, just for tonight,
until I figure something out.
98
00:04:34,091 --> 00:04:35,092
Ally!
99
00:04:37,097 --> 00:04:38,733
Susie!
100
00:04:39,301 --> 00:04:42,809
Oh, sorry, it's just me.
Chris won't be joining us.
101
00:04:42,842 --> 00:04:44,779
He's busy downloading
a dating app.
102
00:04:46,482 --> 00:04:48,122
I broke it off with
him on Sunday evening.
103
00:04:48,152 --> 00:04:50,390
Oh, God. Your busiest
day and everything.
104
00:04:50,423 --> 00:04:52,060
Come here.
105
00:04:54,164 --> 00:04:56,368
- Oh, I got you this.
- Thanks.
106
00:04:57,070 --> 00:04:59,408
Oh, hey, Ava. How
are you doing?
107
00:04:59,441 --> 00:05:01,713
Susie, I didn't know you
were coming. It's been ages!
108
00:05:01,746 --> 00:05:03,016
I can't wait to tell Holly
109
00:05:03,049 --> 00:05:04,586
she's about to meet
Susie, the vicar.
110
00:05:04,619 --> 00:05:05,854
She's heard all about you.
111
00:05:24,959 --> 00:05:27,799
Really, I'd never seen
anyone taller than me
112
00:05:27,832 --> 00:05:29,803
struggle with the top
shelf at the supermarket,
113
00:05:29,836 --> 00:05:34,913
much less a man, as in,
you know, a young-ish man.
114
00:05:34,946 --> 00:05:38,119
And I know this is the oddest
fucking thing to say out loud,
115
00:05:38,152 --> 00:05:41,960
but there was just something
so sweetly pathetic about him.
116
00:05:41,993 --> 00:05:43,831
And here we are.
117
00:05:43,864 --> 00:05:47,037
You know, like, like, in
a kid's book when, say,
118
00:05:47,070 --> 00:05:49,174
a crocodile makes
friends with a worm.
119
00:05:49,207 --> 00:05:50,811
Mm.
120
00:05:50,844 --> 00:05:53,617
Oh. Sorry.
121
00:05:55,119 --> 00:05:58,125
Sorry. It's just, um...
Uh, won't be a tick.
122
00:06:00,163 --> 00:06:01,603
What do you mean,
"something urgent"?
123
00:06:02,935 --> 00:06:05,708
No, sorry. It's your
night with them.
124
00:06:05,741 --> 00:06:08,847
I can't have the girls because
I'm not at home tonight.
125
00:06:10,884 --> 00:06:12,922
Okay. Right.
126
00:06:12,955 --> 00:06:16,529
Well, your location app
is wrong, Karen, 'cause...
127
00:06:16,563 --> 00:06:18,098
yeah, I'm only
near Ally's house.
128
00:06:20,002 --> 00:06:23,610
I'm actually with
one of the guys from Pilates.
129
00:06:23,643 --> 00:06:24,945
Yeah, Julian.
130
00:06:25,312 --> 00:06:28,085
Yeah, we're off out on
a big session of booze.
131
00:06:28,452 --> 00:06:30,624
Yeah, so don't come to Ally's.
132
00:06:30,657 --> 00:06:32,628
Not come to Ally's 'cause
I'm not here. There.
133
00:06:32,661 --> 00:06:34,699
Just don't go to Ally...
134
00:06:35,500 --> 00:06:37,572
You all right, Darren?
135
00:06:37,605 --> 00:06:39,852
Mm-hmm. How do you turn off
shared location on your phone?
136
00:06:39,876 --> 00:06:41,813
- I have no idea.
- Oh, bugger!
137
00:06:42,682 --> 00:06:44,485
Are you
sure you're all right
138
00:06:44,518 --> 00:06:46,723
about the 40,000
descending here?
139
00:06:46,756 --> 00:06:48,159
Oh, no, it's fine, honestly.
140
00:06:48,192 --> 00:06:49,763
- The more, the merrier.
- Okay.
141
00:06:49,796 --> 00:06:51,767
I actually really want
Holly to meet Susie.
142
00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:54,204
I didn't know I did, but I do.
143
00:06:54,237 --> 00:06:56,676
Oh.
144
00:06:58,647 --> 00:07:00,918
- Hi, Holly!
- But I actually upped
145
00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:03,222
and changed parishes to Reading.
146
00:07:03,255 --> 00:07:04,692
- Oh.
- To be with Chris
147
00:07:04,725 --> 00:07:07,197
and his two kids. Two of them.
148
00:07:07,230 --> 00:07:09,702
I never had kids,
149
00:07:09,735 --> 00:07:11,973
never wanted them,
never once regretted it.
150
00:07:12,006 --> 00:07:15,246
Children are not easy. Right?
151
00:07:17,083 --> 00:07:18,720
So I gather, yeah.
152
00:07:19,521 --> 00:07:22,795
This is very good wine.
153
00:07:22,828 --> 00:07:24,899
- Where's this wine from?
- Hiya!
154
00:07:24,932 --> 00:07:27,203
Oh, Paul's here.
Great. Good on Paul.
155
00:07:28,640 --> 00:07:29,608
- Hey.
- Hi.
156
00:07:31,880 --> 00:07:33,851
Oh. Fuck me. What's
this? Intervention?
157
00:07:33,884 --> 00:07:35,554
- Yeah.
- Hi, Paul.
158
00:07:35,587 --> 00:07:37,992
Hey, Sue. Sorry, I won't hug
you 'cause I reek a little bit.
159
00:07:38,025 --> 00:07:40,029
Um, sorry. I wasn't
expecting to see anyone.
160
00:07:40,062 --> 00:07:41,942
- Yeah, I should have texted you.
- Paul?
161
00:07:41,966 --> 00:07:43,169
- This is Siobhan.
- Is it?
162
00:07:43,202 --> 00:07:44,672
- Mm-hmm.
- Hello.
163
00:07:44,705 --> 00:07:46,943
- Hi.
- I cocked up like a big idiot,
164
00:07:46,976 --> 00:07:48,614
got my weeks in
a... in a tizz.
165
00:07:48,647 --> 00:07:50,584
The... The meal
out is next week,
166
00:07:50,617 --> 00:07:52,086
and the meal we're
hosting is now.
167
00:07:53,122 --> 00:07:54,892
- Is it?
- Yeah.
168
00:07:55,526 --> 00:07:58,767
Brilliant. Okay. Uh, I...
I need a little shower,
169
00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:01,138
so I'll, um, see
you folks in a bit.
170
00:08:01,171 --> 00:08:03,710
Any more up there?
171
00:08:03,743 --> 00:08:04,813
- Siobhan?
- Yes.
172
00:08:04,846 --> 00:08:05,914
Cool. Right.
173
00:08:10,289 --> 00:08:12,728
Hey. Hey.
174
00:08:12,761 --> 00:08:14,732
So sorry, Paul. It's my
balls up, completely.
175
00:08:14,765 --> 00:08:16,177
It's just a bit of
a shock, that's all,
176
00:08:16,201 --> 00:08:17,672
coming into a house
that looks like
177
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,116
a fucking coach
station at Christmas.
178
00:08:19,140 --> 00:08:20,887
There's enough of those fuckers
179
00:08:20,911 --> 00:08:22,715
- for a five-a-side.
- I know.
180
00:08:22,748 --> 00:08:24,986
I was really looking forward
to a nice tagine as well.
181
00:08:25,019 --> 00:08:27,758
- What are you cooking?
- A chili. Uh, a sort of chili.
182
00:08:28,960 --> 00:08:30,798
Okay.
183
00:08:30,831 --> 00:08:32,844
Uh, How's Ava? This can't be
the evening she was expecting.
184
00:08:32,868 --> 00:08:34,939
She actually seems okay.
I think she's quite
185
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,652
looking forward to a
big coming out evening.
186
00:08:36,676 --> 00:08:38,647
All right, well,
I'll go and say hi
187
00:08:38,680 --> 00:08:41,753
and then get rid
of this man-hum.
188
00:08:41,786 --> 00:08:43,222
Mm. Hang on.
189
00:08:45,761 --> 00:08:47,296
Do you know what?
I don't hate that.
190
00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:50,236
Sorry, was that, um...
191
00:08:50,269 --> 00:08:52,307
Oh, Darren hasn't told
Siobhan about his kids.
192
00:08:52,340 --> 00:08:54,278
- Very wise.
- So, don't mention them.
193
00:08:54,311 --> 00:08:55,857
Not that we ever talk
about Darren's kids,
194
00:08:55,881 --> 00:08:57,819
unless we want to feel
better about ourselves.
195
00:08:57,852 --> 00:09:00,590
Fair enough.
196
00:09:06,769 --> 00:09:08,239
It's just... you know...
197
00:09:08,272 --> 00:09:10,243
No, it's just that
I thought that...
198
00:09:10,276 --> 00:09:12,147
It's just a bit much, Ava,
199
00:09:12,180 --> 00:09:14,953
like meeting your
parents, their friends,
200
00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:17,825
and, you know, an actual vicar,
just like we're getting married.
201
00:09:17,858 --> 00:09:19,729
No, I get it. Sorry.
202
00:09:19,762 --> 00:09:22,735
I just thought... I
was just being silly.
203
00:09:22,768 --> 00:09:24,048
I... I'll make
sure it's just us.
204
00:09:24,605 --> 00:09:26,408
It was a nice thought.
It really was.
205
00:09:29,014 --> 00:09:30,425
It'll be great to
meet your mum and dad.
206
00:09:30,449 --> 00:09:32,320
No, it'll be boring.
207
00:09:37,230 --> 00:09:40,103
All right then, folks. Let's
get this fucking party started
208
00:09:40,136 --> 00:09:41,973
Who said pass the parcel?
209
00:09:42,006 --> 00:09:43,251
I'll get it!
210
00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:46,382
Oh.
211
00:09:46,415 --> 00:09:47,183
- Hi.
- Hey.
212
00:09:49,020 --> 00:09:50,724
Taxi for Darren?
213
00:09:50,757 --> 00:09:52,326
Thanks, Ava. I'll
take this from here.
214
00:09:55,299 --> 00:09:58,874
I'd like you to drive my
mobile phone around London.
215
00:09:58,907 --> 00:10:00,109
Is this some sort of a joke?
216
00:10:01,511 --> 00:10:04,084
It's 200 pounds there...
217
00:10:04,117 --> 00:10:05,688
or should it...
should it be more?
218
00:10:05,721 --> 00:10:07,725
How much to hire you
for the whole night?
219
00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,270
- This ain't Pretty Woman, mate.
- 500?
220
00:10:09,294 --> 00:10:11,198
200 now and the rest
when I pick up the phone?
221
00:10:11,231 --> 00:10:13,704
Please, just drive it around.
My wife is looking for me,
222
00:10:13,737 --> 00:10:14,982
and my children are
from The Shining.
223
00:10:15,006 --> 00:10:16,743
Please, I'm desperate.
I'm a desperate man.
224
00:10:16,776 --> 00:10:20,917
I mean, I'm paying 500 pounds
to give a phone a ride in a car.
225
00:10:22,153 --> 00:10:25,226
- Go on then.
- God love ya. Thank you.
226
00:10:28,299 --> 00:10:30,738
I mean, they do sound
like nightmare kids.
227
00:10:30,771 --> 00:10:33,309
I tried so hard
with them. So hard.
228
00:10:33,342 --> 00:10:35,213
But they... they just
wouldn't accept me.
229
00:10:35,246 --> 00:10:36,950
- Oh.
- And of course,
230
00:10:36,983 --> 00:10:39,254
Chris refused to take sides,
which, of course, meant...
231
00:10:39,287 --> 00:10:41,292
That he absolutely
did take sides.
232
00:10:41,325 --> 00:10:43,128
Oh, I'm so sorry, Susie.
233
00:10:43,663 --> 00:10:45,175
- Thank you.
- I bet you won't miss Reading,
234
00:10:45,199 --> 00:10:46,869
- though, will you?
- No.
235
00:10:47,638 --> 00:10:50,310
Although I do think Reading
had a big part to play
236
00:10:50,343 --> 00:10:52,814
- in why his kids were such...
- Fuckers?
237
00:10:53,348 --> 00:10:56,121
Well, obviously I would never
say that 'cause that's...
238
00:10:56,154 --> 00:11:00,764
very unchristian language,
but, yeah, total fuckers.
239
00:11:02,333 --> 00:11:03,168
Come in.
240
00:11:05,106 --> 00:11:08,746
Hey, darling. Just, uh,
came to check you're okay?
241
00:11:10,082 --> 00:11:11,418
- Fine.
- Yeah?
242
00:11:17,363 --> 00:11:19,534
So, Mum told me
about Holly.
243
00:11:19,568 --> 00:11:21,205
That's...
244
00:11:21,238 --> 00:11:26,181
I'm so excited to meet her.
When does she get here?
245
00:11:26,214 --> 00:11:28,452
- Soon, I hope.
- Mm-hmm.
246
00:11:28,485 --> 00:11:30,557
I think she's still
coming, but...
247
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:33,229
Was that the door?
248
00:11:33,262 --> 00:11:34,799
Uh, um...
249
00:11:34,832 --> 00:11:36,110
Yeah, I think so.
Maybe. Oh, okay.
250
00:11:36,134 --> 00:11:37,069
Yeah.
251
00:11:41,846 --> 00:11:44,250
- All right, Bagpuss.
- Hey. It's the prodigal son.
252
00:11:45,954 --> 00:11:47,424
You should have called ahead.
253
00:11:47,457 --> 00:11:49,829
I'd have slaughtered a lamb
or made you, I don't know,
254
00:11:49,862 --> 00:11:51,966
a fucking coat of many
colors or something.
255
00:11:51,999 --> 00:11:54,070
- Everything okay?
- Uh, no.
256
00:11:57,377 --> 00:12:00,249
- All right.
- I've got a big favor to ask.
257
00:12:00,282 --> 00:12:02,387
My friend from the ante-natal
group is a bit pissed.
258
00:12:02,420 --> 00:12:04,057
He's very pissed.
259
00:12:05,092 --> 00:12:06,328
Right.
260
00:12:06,930 --> 00:12:08,834
As in he's too
pissed to go home.
261
00:12:08,867 --> 00:12:10,546
He's on thin ice as it
is with his partner.
262
00:12:10,570 --> 00:12:15,079
Do you think he could just
dry out here, just for a bit?
263
00:12:15,112 --> 00:12:16,850
I can't take him to Maya's.
264
00:12:16,883 --> 00:12:18,128
Where is he now,
this pissed man?
265
00:12:18,152 --> 00:12:19,363
I've got him propped
up around the back.
266
00:12:19,387 --> 00:12:22,260
I wanted to speak to
you first and explain,
267
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:25,099
but he's waiting for
me to let him in.
268
00:12:25,132 --> 00:12:27,404
We've got a bit of
a full house, mate.
269
00:12:27,437 --> 00:12:29,350
And as it happens, this is
a big night for your sister,
270
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,946
so I don't love the idea
of anything distracting.
271
00:12:31,979 --> 00:12:33,984
Paul?
272
00:12:34,017 --> 00:12:35,554
Jesus Christ.
273
00:12:38,125 --> 00:12:39,494
- What's up?
- Oh, God.
274
00:12:39,527 --> 00:12:41,265
Hey, hey, what's up?
275
00:12:41,298 --> 00:12:43,637
Look, oh, got you now!
Got... Aah! Oh! Oh, oh.
276
00:12:43,670 --> 00:12:46,442
- Aah! Get off me.
- What the fuck am I looking at?
277
00:12:48,580 --> 00:12:52,020
Whoa! Hey! Fucking...
Oi, oi, oi!
278
00:12:52,053 --> 00:12:54,992
Get off him, you cunt!
279
00:13:00,469 --> 00:13:02,908
Then the sweaty dicker just
280
00:13:02,941 --> 00:13:06,181
drops down over the wall,
like, out of nowhere,
281
00:13:06,214 --> 00:13:08,252
and I yelped 'cause I
thought that we were...
282
00:13:08,285 --> 00:13:09,521
We were gonna be robbed.
283
00:13:09,555 --> 00:13:11,659
Then suddenly, Carl
just swooped down
284
00:13:11,692 --> 00:13:14,197
onto him like a big, bald swan.
285
00:13:14,230 --> 00:13:16,401
- You're a hero, Carl.
- Yeah, Carl.
286
00:13:16,434 --> 00:13:18,038
I just had a fucking fight.
287
00:13:18,071 --> 00:13:20,276
- Yes, you did, mate.
- Oh, fucking hell.
288
00:13:20,309 --> 00:13:22,648
Fucking Jesus. Yes!
289
00:13:22,681 --> 00:13:24,585
Oh, I haven't had a
fight since Spike Island.
290
00:13:24,618 --> 00:13:27,323
I haven't been this happy
since Spike fucking Island.
291
00:13:27,356 --> 00:13:28,994
I... I'm so sorry.
292
00:13:29,027 --> 00:13:30,530
Yes, and so you should be, mate.
293
00:13:30,564 --> 00:13:33,469
Carl, you're a Stone Roses fan?
294
00:13:33,502 --> 00:13:35,473
Spike Island, Paul.
295
00:13:35,506 --> 00:13:37,912
Just, yeah, Spike
fucking Island, you know?
296
00:13:39,447 --> 00:13:41,427
Jesus Christ, Gaz. Have you
just gone and done more?
297
00:13:41,451 --> 00:13:43,222
Listen, folks. Um...
298
00:13:43,255 --> 00:13:44,424
- Oh, oh.
- Hey, look,
299
00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:47,063
I'm... I'm all
apologies, okay?
300
00:13:47,096 --> 00:13:51,071
But I've got a baby on the
way, all right, like Luke here,
301
00:13:51,104 --> 00:13:53,042
- and we're just...
- Right.
302
00:13:53,075 --> 00:13:55,079
...we're just
coping, you know?
303
00:13:55,112 --> 00:13:58,352
We got a connection, me
and Luke, haven't we?
304
00:13:58,385 --> 00:13:59,922
You know, I think
some people, they...
305
00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:02,227
they... they come into your
life to teach you something.
306
00:14:02,260 --> 00:14:04,064
You know?
307
00:14:04,097 --> 00:14:05,466
And your son has done just that.
308
00:14:05,499 --> 00:14:07,237
Unbelievable.
309
00:14:07,270 --> 00:14:09,216
I think we've both kind of
realized, haven't we, Luke,
310
00:14:09,240 --> 00:14:12,279
that we've got to just squeeze
the decadence in now, don't we?
311
00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:16,388
"We"?
312
00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:18,593
Are you doing
fucking coke, Luke?
313
00:14:18,626 --> 00:14:21,666
No, I'm not! He is.
He definitely is.
314
00:14:21,699 --> 00:14:23,511
- I think he's doing a lot.
- Well, I'll tell you what, mate.
315
00:14:23,535 --> 00:14:25,741
Maybe the place not to bring
316
00:14:25,774 --> 00:14:27,945
a character like
that in that state
317
00:14:27,978 --> 00:14:29,982
is your mum and
dad's fucking house.
318
00:14:30,015 --> 00:14:31,962
I've already told you, this is
a big night for your sister.
319
00:14:31,986 --> 00:14:33,957
She's bringing her
first girlfriend round.
320
00:14:33,990 --> 00:14:36,128
- Ava's got a girlfriend?
- Oh, it's...
321
00:14:36,161 --> 00:14:37,607
You're gonna be a
parent, Luke, all right?
322
00:14:37,631 --> 00:14:39,401
Make better fucking decisions!
323
00:14:39,434 --> 00:14:42,207
Because it's gonna
be one thing after another.
324
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,377
Let me tell you...
325
00:14:52,393 --> 00:14:53,996
You know, for what
it's worth, I get it.
326
00:14:54,530 --> 00:14:55,776
Fatherhood can be a scary thing.
327
00:14:55,800 --> 00:14:57,203
Sure how would you know?
328
00:14:58,673 --> 00:15:00,743
Uh... Dad told me.
329
00:15:02,781 --> 00:15:06,154
And what have you told her
regards where you're at?
330
00:15:06,187 --> 00:15:08,292
Her at home?
331
00:15:08,325 --> 00:15:11,265
Uh, that I'm, uh,
caught up at work.
332
00:15:11,298 --> 00:15:12,701
Hmm.
333
00:15:12,734 --> 00:15:17,043
No, fella, don't do
that. Don't lie. Go home.
334
00:15:17,076 --> 00:15:19,180
She's laid up on bricks
having your baby.
335
00:15:19,213 --> 00:15:21,118
Don't fucking lie to her.
336
00:15:21,151 --> 00:15:22,462
There's nothin'
worse than a liar.
337
00:15:23,756 --> 00:15:25,426
All right, folks...
338
00:15:25,459 --> 00:15:27,163
After that...
after that palaver,
339
00:15:27,196 --> 00:15:29,467
I think the least we
can do is get you drunk.
340
00:15:29,500 --> 00:15:32,473
- So, who's for red?
- Well, can I get one of those?
341
00:15:32,506 --> 00:15:36,783
No! Fucking bare knuckle
Barbie, you can't.
342
00:15:36,816 --> 00:15:39,421
Jesus Christ. What
were you thinking?
343
00:15:39,454 --> 00:15:41,458
And why can't you just
use the fucking front door
344
00:15:41,491 --> 00:15:43,028
like normal people? Hey?
345
00:15:43,061 --> 00:15:45,399
I mean, look at
the state of Carl.
346
00:15:47,236 --> 00:15:49,541
- You all right, Carl?
- Fine now, thank you.
347
00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:52,080
- Good.
- Yeah, just fine.
348
00:15:52,113 --> 00:15:53,717
It's very nice, you know.
349
00:15:53,750 --> 00:15:56,321
- Hmm? What is?
- The inside.
350
00:15:57,390 --> 00:15:58,593
Your house.
351
00:15:59,795 --> 00:16:00,697
Thank you.
352
00:16:02,266 --> 00:16:04,371
- Can I get you anything?
- Oh.
353
00:16:04,404 --> 00:16:05,707
Got a cheese sandwich, have you?
354
00:16:05,740 --> 00:16:07,310
- A cheese sandwich?
- Ooh.
355
00:16:07,343 --> 00:16:08,111
No!
356
00:16:09,648 --> 00:16:12,052
One cheese sandwich
for Carl coming up.
357
00:16:13,488 --> 00:16:16,228
Ah, some fucker
been in my chutneys?
358
00:16:16,261 --> 00:16:17,731
Has anyone seen Ava?
359
00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,057
What's happened?
360
00:16:32,728 --> 00:16:35,065
Holly's not coming round.
361
00:16:35,634 --> 00:16:37,771
Okay.
362
00:16:37,804 --> 00:16:40,309
I wanted to do this
big coming out thing,
363
00:16:40,342 --> 00:16:41,645
and she's not into it.
364
00:16:44,818 --> 00:16:46,263
She thinks all that
"meet the family" stuff
365
00:16:46,287 --> 00:16:48,359
is a bit too much.
366
00:16:48,392 --> 00:16:49,671
Well, just... Well, that's fine.
367
00:16:49,695 --> 00:16:51,665
We'll just give her
a bit more time.
368
00:16:52,500 --> 00:16:55,272
She says no one really has a
big coming out thing anymore.
369
00:16:56,709 --> 00:16:59,247
And I just feel so
stupid and naive.
370
00:16:59,280 --> 00:17:01,251
There is not one thing
about you that's stupid.
371
00:17:01,284 --> 00:17:02,788
Do you understand?
372
00:17:02,821 --> 00:17:04,567
We've only been seeing each
other a couple of weeks.
373
00:17:04,591 --> 00:17:09,134
What was I thinking? What
if I've ruined everything?
374
00:17:09,167 --> 00:17:11,405
Break... Breakups are
always hard, my darling,
375
00:17:11,438 --> 00:17:13,576
- especially the first time...
- We haven't broken up.
376
00:17:14,745 --> 00:17:16,315
- Okay.
- I'm not upset
377
00:17:16,348 --> 00:17:18,586
because we split up. I'm...
378
00:17:18,619 --> 00:17:21,726
I'm embarrassed at being
old-fashioned and just stupid.
379
00:17:21,759 --> 00:17:24,431
All right, I... I see. Sorry.
380
00:17:24,464 --> 00:17:25,701
We'll still see each other.
381
00:17:25,734 --> 00:17:28,138
Holly just doesn't
wanna come round tonight
382
00:17:28,171 --> 00:17:31,311
to meet you two...
and everyone.
383
00:17:31,344 --> 00:17:32,748
Right.
384
00:17:32,781 --> 00:17:34,517
Well, I mean...
385
00:17:35,152 --> 00:17:37,423
You know, at... at least we...
386
00:17:39,227 --> 00:17:40,472
We know you better
now, don't we?
387
00:17:40,496 --> 00:17:41,733
Mm-hmm.
388
00:17:41,766 --> 00:17:44,739
You know, we know that
you're gay. It's...
389
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:47,745
It's also not... not a big
deal at all, by the way,
390
00:17:47,778 --> 00:17:48,722
in case you were
wondering if it was.
391
00:17:48,746 --> 00:17:51,719
No, I want it to be a big deal.
392
00:17:51,752 --> 00:17:53,421
It is a big deal for me.
393
00:17:54,758 --> 00:17:56,495
Maybe that was my
stupid mistake.
394
00:17:56,528 --> 00:17:58,600
I wanted you.
395
00:17:58,633 --> 00:18:01,471
I wanted my parents
to be a part of this.
396
00:18:01,504 --> 00:18:04,210
I wanted this to be
my moment. Mine. Mine.
397
00:18:05,747 --> 00:18:07,651
Some affirmation of me.
398
00:18:07,684 --> 00:18:10,456
Yeah, listen, sweetheart,
I think that's absolutely
399
00:18:10,489 --> 00:18:11,902
what we all want as well,
isn't it? I think...
400
00:18:11,926 --> 00:18:13,204
I think that what
we're trying to say...
401
00:18:13,228 --> 00:18:14,665
- Yeah.
- Is that we will always
402
00:18:14,698 --> 00:18:17,503
love you completely, no matter
who you tell us you are.
403
00:18:17,536 --> 00:18:18,606
Well, I want it to matter.
404
00:18:20,643 --> 00:18:24,751
I know you're trying to make me
feel comfortable, and thank you.
405
00:18:25,452 --> 00:18:27,456
But I want this to
matter as much...
406
00:18:29,928 --> 00:18:32,332
every inch as much, for once...
407
00:18:32,901 --> 00:18:35,205
as anything that's
happening in Luke's life.
408
00:18:36,809 --> 00:18:38,278
And it really hasn't helped
409
00:18:38,311 --> 00:18:40,516
that he's dragged in
that pisshead downstairs.
410
00:18:40,550 --> 00:18:42,386
Right, okay, tell you
what. You stay here.
411
00:18:42,419 --> 00:18:43,665
We're gonna go and
clear the house out,
412
00:18:43,689 --> 00:18:45,459
and then we'll be
back, okay? Don't move.
413
00:18:50,670 --> 00:18:53,308
How's she getting on up there?
414
00:18:53,341 --> 00:18:56,381
- Not terribly well. And...
- Your wee girl? Ava, was it?
415
00:18:56,414 --> 00:18:58,753
- Ava, yeah.
- Having a bit of an upset?
416
00:18:58,786 --> 00:19:00,657
- First bit of heartbreak.
- Yeah.
417
00:19:00,690 --> 00:19:02,661
Just as well. I
fucking hate chili.
418
00:19:02,694 --> 00:19:04,832
Hate anything to
do with cowboys.
419
00:19:04,865 --> 00:19:07,437
Thank you for a lovely evenin'.
420
00:19:07,470 --> 00:19:09,642
You should piss off, too.
421
00:19:09,675 --> 00:19:10,953
You're next door,
as I understand it.
422
00:19:10,977 --> 00:19:12,848
- Yeah, he's...
- But you, Snorty Spice,
423
00:19:12,881 --> 00:19:15,286
where is it you call home?
We'll drop you in our Uber.
424
00:19:15,319 --> 00:19:17,290
Oh, actually, could
I get in on that?
425
00:19:17,323 --> 00:19:18,301
If you don't mind dropping
me off at the station.
426
00:19:18,325 --> 00:19:19,427
Yeah, of course.
427
00:19:19,460 --> 00:19:21,833
All right if I stay
here, is it, mate?
428
00:19:21,866 --> 00:19:23,570
If I go home in this
state, she'll kill me.
429
00:19:23,603 --> 00:19:26,541
What age are you to be
hanging out with this child?
430
00:19:26,575 --> 00:19:28,278
You must be near my age and his.
431
00:19:28,311 --> 00:19:29,289
Move your boney arse.
432
00:19:32,019 --> 00:19:34,324
Thank you, Carl.
433
00:19:34,357 --> 00:19:36,562
Oh, you're welcome, Paul.
434
00:19:36,595 --> 00:19:38,532
Just trying to be
a good neighbor.
435
00:19:38,566 --> 00:19:41,271
Well, next time it's my turn to
have a big fight on your patio.
436
00:19:41,304 --> 00:19:43,576
Oh, look forward to that.
437
00:19:43,609 --> 00:19:44,979
- Bye, Lukie.
- See you, Carl.
438
00:19:45,012 --> 00:19:46,549
Bye, all.
439
00:19:46,582 --> 00:19:47,516
Bye.
440
00:19:50,623 --> 00:19:52,326
Sorry. What... What's
happening with Ava?
441
00:20:02,513 --> 00:20:05,418
Could we make a quick pit stop
at this wee corner shop, please?
442
00:20:07,924 --> 00:20:12,366
Here, precious. I'm stuck
in the middle back here.
443
00:20:12,399 --> 00:20:14,805
Would you mind running in and
grabbing me a deck of fags?
444
00:20:25,894 --> 00:20:28,632
That card expired weeks ago.
Mate, can we get going, please?
445
00:20:33,441 --> 00:20:34,343
Oh, hello.
446
00:20:36,047 --> 00:20:40,455
Uh... he appears to have
dropped his cocaine.
447
00:20:41,391 --> 00:20:44,364
Can you drop us at the
nearest pub, please, mate?
448
00:20:44,397 --> 00:20:48,372
I've got twins. Two girls,
13. They're very full on.
449
00:20:48,405 --> 00:20:50,576
- Jesus. What?
- I'm sorry, Siobhan.
450
00:20:53,114 --> 00:20:54,918
I think I'm in love with you.
451
00:20:59,527 --> 00:21:00,573
Well, you don't get
452
00:21:00,597 --> 00:21:01,899
any of this stuff in Reading.
453
00:21:06,709 --> 00:21:09,047
Got a bit sexy there tonight
a couple of times, didn't it,
454
00:21:09,080 --> 00:21:12,520
with the fight and
the pheromones?
455
00:21:12,554 --> 00:21:13,823
Or was I imagining it?
456
00:21:13,856 --> 00:21:15,458
No, it did get a bit
sexy. You're right.
457
00:21:21,104 --> 00:21:23,374
We should break
our drought soon.
458
00:21:24,443 --> 00:21:26,949
- We should, but not tonight.
- No, not tonight. Fuck, no.
459
00:21:26,982 --> 00:21:29,087
Christ, I just wanna sleep.
460
00:21:29,120 --> 00:21:30,388
Mm.
461
00:21:32,761 --> 00:21:35,099
Mum, Dad, I don't really
wanna talk right now,
462
00:21:35,132 --> 00:21:36,534
if that's all right.
463
00:21:40,610 --> 00:21:41,545
Just me.
464
00:21:43,481 --> 00:21:44,651
Is it all right if I come in?
465
00:22:01,484 --> 00:22:04,824
I'm sorry for stealing
focus again tonight.
466
00:22:06,060 --> 00:22:08,633
I know it's a bit of a habit.
467
00:22:08,666 --> 00:22:10,704
It's just...
468
00:22:10,737 --> 00:22:14,110
There was this 36-year-old
man-child chasing me around,
469
00:22:14,143 --> 00:22:17,449
and... this was the
tree that I ran up.
470
00:22:24,798 --> 00:22:29,808
So, listen, I hear that
you have a girlfriend.
471
00:22:34,785 --> 00:22:36,120
That's massive!
472
00:22:37,824 --> 00:22:39,694
Do you fancy telling
me all about her?
473
00:22:40,963 --> 00:22:42,432
Whoever she is?
35312
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