All language subtitles for [SubtitleTools.com] a4k.net_2023-05-03_1072661076
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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:10,000
搜游子转制
2
00:00:23,866 --> 00:00:26,149
我绝不能让妖孽跑出来
3
00:00:26,150 --> 00:00:28,832
绝不能
只要我还有一口气在
4
00:00:28,833 --> 00:00:30,999
你就休想出来
5
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,999
十二块半
6
00:00:51,666 --> 00:00:53,915
讲啊怎么样?
7
00:01:09,716 --> 00:01:11,549
老家伙
8
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,832
老头子
9
00:01:17,833 --> 00:01:19,549
老...
10
00:01:26,750 --> 00:01:28,265
这间房子阴沉沉的
11
00:01:28,266 --> 00:01:30,465
好像不太吉利
12
00:01:30,466 --> 00:01:33,232
他妈的,比我还穷
13
00:01:33,233 --> 00:01:35,349
四下找找
14
00:01:55,800 --> 00:01:59,599
片名:哗鬼住正隔篱
15
00:02:03,066 --> 00:02:05,949
什么都没有,快走吧
等一下
16
00:02:06,950 --> 00:02:10,065
来嘛
来啊
17
00:02:25,750 --> 00:02:27,599
阿明啊
你拿这张照片干什么?
18
00:02:27,600 --> 00:02:28,999
快走啦
19
00:02:31,233 --> 00:02:34,115
不要你管,走
20
00:02:56,550 --> 00:02:58,432
你们看
那个台东人在干什么啦
21
00:02:58,433 --> 00:03:00,432
听说会茅山术的人
都是这样吃饭的
22
00:03:00,433 --> 00:03:01,999
而且还是很厉害的一个
23
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,399
你乱讲,我不信
24
00:03:03,400 --> 00:03:05,315
很多人都试过,很灵的
25
00:03:05,316 --> 00:03:07,865
不信,你过去试试啊
26
00:03:07,866 --> 00:03:09,832
不要惹他
27
00:03:12,516 --> 00:03:15,432
老大
28
00:03:15,433 --> 00:03:18,149
我有一些事情请教你
你听得懂吗?
29
00:03:18,150 --> 00:03:21,515
讲国语好不好?
30
00:03:22,516 --> 00:03:24,032
听说你懂茅山术啦
31
00:03:24,033 --> 00:03:25,665
有没有骗人哪?
32
00:03:25,666 --> 00:03:29,999
让我好好吃饭行不行?
33
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,949
你是说我龙哥打扰你罗
34
00:03:31,950 --> 00:03:33,949
好,不要说我欺负你
35
00:03:33,950 --> 00:03:37,799
大家放下这支枪
到门口去单挑啦
36
00:03:37,800 --> 00:03:40,199
把我铐起来
37
00:03:43,833 --> 00:03:45,315
过去看看,快…
走,过去看看
38
00:03:45,316 --> 00:03:47,515
把手铐钥匙放我嘴里
39
00:03:47,600 --> 00:03:49,465
什么?
40
00:03:51,633 --> 00:03:53,665
你怎么吞下去了?
41
00:03:53,666 --> 00:03:55,832
吞下去了
42
00:03:58,666 --> 00:04:01,065
钥匙还在啊,在上面
43
00:04:01,066 --> 00:04:02,715
开
44
00:04:03,550 --> 00:04:05,149
好厉害耶
45
00:04:05,150 --> 00:04:06,665
这个很简单,我可以教你啊
46
00:04:06,666 --> 00:04:07,832
一分钟就学会了
47
00:04:07,833 --> 00:04:09,199
我要试,我要试
我试看看
48
00:04:09,200 --> 00:04:12,032
我来试试看
我来
49
00:04:12,950 --> 00:04:16,265
把钥匙放在舌头上
好
50
00:04:18,433 --> 00:04:20,715
吞了它
51
00:04:25,200 --> 00:04:27,999
吞在舌头下
52
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,549
舌头下面
53
00:04:29,550 --> 00:04:30,915
你真的吞了它?
54
00:04:30,916 --> 00:04:33,549
这不是茅山术,这是障眼法
55
00:04:33,550 --> 00:04:35,999
那怎么办呢?
56
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,432
有办法了,来
57
00:04:39,716 --> 00:04:41,715
用这个
58
00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:51,032
快一点,你拉出来没有?
59
00:04:51,033 --> 00:04:56,115
还没有,再拿几瓶来
60
00:04:56,116 --> 00:04:57,915
你喝了五瓶泻药,六瓶泻盐了
61
00:04:57,916 --> 00:05:00,432
快一点啦,要集合出发了
62
00:05:01,266 --> 00:05:03,799
好臭
我拉出来了
63
00:05:03,800 --> 00:05:07,599
不过没有力气捞了,你帮我捞
64
00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,265
我?
65
00:05:27,433 --> 00:05:29,749
马上准备行动
66
00:05:29,750 --> 00:05:31,632
你们几个去那边
是
67
00:05:37,266 --> 00:05:38,999
是大圈仔的窝吗?
对啊
68
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,599
就是台东人来抓的那批人
69
00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:43,399
听说他们的火力很猛的
70
00:05:47,350 --> 00:05:48,432
大哥
71
00:05:48,433 --> 00:05:50,665
我叫陈阿狗,可以叫我狗叔
72
00:05:50,666 --> 00:05:52,315
或是陈先生,或是陈SIR
73
00:05:52,316 --> 00:05:54,199
也可以叫我的英文名字
乔治陈
74
00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,749
你…算你屌,敢整我
75
00:05:55,750 --> 00:05:57,149
早晚我会找你报仇的
76
00:05:57,150 --> 00:05:58,265
你还想报仇啊
77
00:05:58,266 --> 00:06:00,149
你今天印堂发黑,走大凶
78
00:06:00,150 --> 00:06:01,832
不是给鬼迷住就是被人打
79
00:06:01,833 --> 00:06:03,032
再不就是出车祸
80
00:06:03,033 --> 00:06:05,665
反正非见红不可
81
00:06:06,150 --> 00:06:07,665
你刚才说的是什么啦?
82
00:06:07,666 --> 00:06:09,749
信不信由你了,朋友一场
83
00:06:09,750 --> 00:06:11,832
这道符你拿着
可以保佑你平安
84
00:06:11,833 --> 00:06:13,949
千万别掉了
85
00:06:13,950 --> 00:06:15,465
十一世纪还信这个
86
00:06:15,466 --> 00:06:18,065
什么家伙嘛
87
00:06:21,600 --> 00:06:24,032
真的有效耶
88
00:06:24,033 --> 00:06:26,149
大慈大悲观世音菩萨
89
00:06:26,150 --> 00:06:29,349
阿弥陀佛,圣母玛丽亚
上帝保佑啊
90
00:06:47,033 --> 00:06:49,349
有门不走,喜欢爬墙
91
00:06:58,150 --> 00:07:00,749
来啊
92
00:07:03,833 --> 00:07:07,199
来嘛
93
00:07:22,750 --> 00:07:24,232
死狗,一直叫叫叫
94
00:07:24,233 --> 00:07:26,749
叫得我烦死人了,好好教训它
95
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:29,265
叫什么?
96
00:07:29,916 --> 00:07:34,065
警察,警察来了…
97
00:07:38,633 --> 00:07:39,599
怎么回事?
98
00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:42,599
出去看看,快,快
去看看
99
00:07:43,066 --> 00:07:45,065
有警察,快进去
100
00:08:00,316 --> 00:08:02,949
我们被包围了
现在怎么办啊?
101
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,315
冲出去,拼了,冲出去
102
00:08:05,316 --> 00:08:07,065
冲啊
103
00:08:16,600 --> 00:08:18,032
追
104
00:08:18,950 --> 00:08:19,865
站住
105
00:08:19,866 --> 00:08:22,632
不要开枪…
106
00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,799
他妈的,老娘跟你拚了
107
00:09:01,266 --> 00:09:02,665
你干什么啦?
108
00:09:02,666 --> 00:09:04,632
掩护我
109
00:09:08,350 --> 00:09:10,749
那个台东人说的很灵耶
110
00:09:10,750 --> 00:09:12,999
灵你妈的头啦
111
00:09:40,200 --> 00:09:41,865
他妈的
112
00:09:42,833 --> 00:09:44,549
被鬼迷住了
113
00:09:46,716 --> 00:09:48,399
那边啦
114
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:51,232
慢一点啦
115
00:09:58,716 --> 00:10:01,149
幸好没人看见
116
00:10:02,916 --> 00:10:05,549
又多一支枪耶
117
00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,315
站住,站住
118
00:10:13,116 --> 00:10:14,949
别动
119
00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:21,349
你找我有什么事啊?
120
00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:22,715
你拉链没拉啦
121
00:10:22,716 --> 00:10:24,599
谢了
122
00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,265
站住
123
00:10:37,266 --> 00:10:39,349
不要拉我啦
124
00:10:41,633 --> 00:10:43,432
那么喜欢滚
125
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,399
站住
126
00:11:05,716 --> 00:11:07,265
不要动
127
00:11:31,550 --> 00:11:33,432
不要动
128
00:11:37,550 --> 00:11:39,915
你
臭道士
129
00:11:39,916 --> 00:11:42,032
别管闲事
130
00:11:42,033 --> 00:11:43,199
走开
131
00:11:43,200 --> 00:11:44,549
想不到当个刑警
132
00:11:44,550 --> 00:11:46,865
不但要追坏人·还要抓鬼
133
00:11:46,866 --> 00:11:48,915
孽畜你是谁?
想干什么?
134
00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:50,865
想偷袭
135
00:11:56,866 --> 00:11:58,549
接住
136
00:12:02,633 --> 00:12:04,232
到那边去
狗叔,他怎么了?
137
00:12:04,233 --> 00:12:06,399
被鬼迷住了
138
00:12:13,600 --> 00:12:14,549
回去看看
139
00:12:15,600 --> 00:12:16,349
弊
shit
140
00:12:23,150 --> 00:12:24,515
阿弥陀佛
Amida Buddha
141
00:12:31,466 --> 00:12:33,149
停车
142
00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:40,265
好在我技术好
你把我当计程车啊
143
00:12:42,550 --> 00:12:44,549
我叫你停车,你不停啊
144
00:12:44,550 --> 00:12:47,632
快点载我到九茏街,快啊
145
00:12:56,833 --> 00:12:58,315
好可怕
146
00:12:58,316 --> 00:12:59,915
不要怕,不要怕
147
00:12:59,916 --> 00:13:02,349
还好有这些书保佑我
148
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,349
奇怪,哪来这种照片?
149
00:13:24,350 --> 00:13:26,199
不知道是谁的?
150
00:13:35,150 --> 00:13:37,032
钞票
151
00:13:42,833 --> 00:13:45,949
HONEY我回来了
152
00:14:02,433 --> 00:14:03,032
乖
Good
153
00:14:06,550 --> 00:14:07,065
够钟
Time's up
154
00:14:20,750 --> 00:14:24,199
脱啊,脱啊…
155
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,232
三妹...
什么事啊?
156
00:14:33,233 --> 00:14:37,999
快点出来我跟你讲
快点,快点…
157
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:40,515
你知不知道对面那个色情狂
他一直偷看你
158
00:14:40,516 --> 00:14:42,632
你还敢进去洗澡啊?
159
00:14:42,633 --> 00:14:44,915
你放心吧
160
00:14:49,350 --> 00:14:51,232
砰
161
00:15:47,316 --> 00:15:49,599
用遥控飞机偷看我啊
162
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,032
三妹
163
00:15:52,116 --> 00:15:54,465
三妹三妹快点出来
怎么了?
164
00:15:54,466 --> 00:15:56,865
他偷看我,你快来救我啊
165
00:15:57,666 --> 00:15:59,832
色情狂,我打死你
166
00:16:00,516 --> 00:16:02,349
打中了
167
00:16:02,833 --> 00:16:03,799
打中了,好棒喔
168
00:16:03,800 --> 00:16:05,749
打中了好棒喔
169
00:16:05,750 --> 00:16:07,865
三妹好棒喔
170
00:16:07,866 --> 00:16:10,749
这次真是亏大本了
171
00:16:10,750 --> 00:16:13,232
还好还有几张钞票
172
00:16:18,350 --> 00:16:21,349
怎么变了呢?
173
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:23,515
满漂亮的
174
00:16:29,550 --> 00:16:32,399
这是什么破玩意儿?
175
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,665
来啊
176
00:16:40,666 --> 00:16:44,149
来啊
来嘛
177
00:16:53,200 --> 00:16:54,348
喂?
178
00:16:54,349 --> 00:16:55,315
找哪位啊?
龟公啊
179
00:16:55,316 --> 00:16:56,465
送两个小姐到房间来
180
00:16:56,466 --> 00:16:59,115
你爸是卖屁股的
你妈是个野鸡
181
00:16:59,116 --> 00:17:03,399
你奶奶是个老鸨
你爷爷才是龟公呢
182
00:17:12,350 --> 00:17:14,599
怎么会这样呢?
183
00:17:19,666 --> 00:17:21,199
你好吗?
184
00:17:21,200 --> 00:17:23,399
我们换个房间住吧
185
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:31,032
我怎么会到照片里的房子?
186
00:17:36,600 --> 00:17:39,032
怎么会变成黑白色的?
187
00:17:39,033 --> 00:17:43,315
我们说过了
跟你换个房间住的
188
00:17:43,950 --> 00:17:46,715
怎么会变这样?
189
00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:53,915
不要,不要,不要这样
190
00:17:53,916 --> 00:17:58,065
放我出来啊,救命啊
191
00:18:01,350 --> 00:18:04,232
小姐再来两杯酒啦快啦
来了
192
00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:06,715
来大家今天的英勇
干一杯啦
193
00:18:06,716 --> 00:18:07,515
来来来
194
00:18:07,516 --> 00:18:09,599
你这个印堂发暗的
195
00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:12,199
我看今天你一定要见红
196
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,515
我给你那张符,你千万别丢了
197
00:18:14,516 --> 00:18:16,399
你少啰嗦了啦
198
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:20,799
你给我的符
我要把它烧成灰啦
199
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:22,749
放在杯子里
200
00:18:22,750 --> 00:18:24,149
不过,不是用来喝的
201
00:18:24,150 --> 00:18:27,399
而是倒掉它,看它会怎么样?
202
00:18:27,400 --> 00:18:28,999
谁打我头啦?
203
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,115
你这个死人啊,敢用啤酒泼我
204
00:18:31,116 --> 00:18:33,232
我不是故意的啦
205
00:18:33,233 --> 00:18:36,949
惨了耶,真的流血了
206
00:18:36,950 --> 00:18:38,399
那不是见红了嘛
207
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,115
狗叔你还真灵啊
208
00:18:40,116 --> 00:18:43,349
真灵耶
我的未婚妻啦,甄毕波
209
00:18:45,433 --> 00:18:46,715
闻名已久啊
210
00:18:46,716 --> 00:18:48,599
香港警界无人不知
211
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:52,115
人称人未到波先到的
甄毕波女警察
212
00:18:52,116 --> 00:18:54,432
真是名不虚传
213
00:18:54,433 --> 00:18:56,515
真是 BIG BALL
214
00:18:56,516 --> 00:18:59,149
百龙,坐下
215
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:01,632
今天早上我CALL你
你什么不回CALL?
216
00:19:01,633 --> 00:19:02,999
跟匪徒枪战啦
217
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:04,199
现场那里没有电话吗?
218
00:19:04,200 --> 00:19:05,315
有啊
219
00:19:05,316 --> 00:19:07,232
那你就是没有回CALL了
220
00:19:07,233 --> 00:19:08,999
我妈妈下个礼拜开画展
221
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,149
你花篮订了没有?
222
00:19:10,150 --> 00:19:10,999
等一下去订罗
223
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:12,865
那你就是没订罗
224
00:19:12,866 --> 00:19:15,715
我让你参加技能考试
你报名了没有?
225
00:19:15,716 --> 00:19:16,949
截止了啦
226
00:19:16,950 --> 00:19:18,432
那你就是没报了
227
00:19:18,433 --> 00:19:19,949
不回CALL就是对我不忠
228
00:19:19,950 --> 00:19:21,799
没订花篮就是对我妈咪不孝
229
00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:24,799
不参加技能考试,不能干督察
就没有英国居留权
230
00:19:24,800 --> 00:19:25,999
那就没有安全感了
231
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:28,149
一个不忠,不孝
又没有安全感的未婚夫
232
00:19:28,150 --> 00:19:30,465
我要他来干什么呢?
233
00:19:30,466 --> 00:19:32,032
骂人一串一串的
234
00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:35,665
像你骂人这么顺口的
我还真没见过呢
235
00:19:35,666 --> 00:19:36,999
有人欺负你女朋友啊
236
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,749
你要是男人的话,你就扁他
237
00:19:38,750 --> 00:19:39,632
扁他?
238
00:19:39,633 --> 00:19:42,032
如果你还是个男人的话
就把她甩了
239
00:19:42,033 --> 00:19:43,715
甩掉她?
240
00:19:43,716 --> 00:19:45,515
一分钟之内
我还见到他在这儿的话
241
00:19:45,516 --> 00:19:47,549
你就不要再来找我
242
00:19:47,550 --> 00:19:49,632
大哥,我这样子很难做人的
243
00:19:49,633 --> 00:19:52,465
你想要不难做,容易啊
244
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:56,065
你敢打我未婚夫
245
00:19:58,266 --> 00:20:02,315
我甩死你…
246
00:20:02,316 --> 00:20:04,799
好厉害啊
247
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:05,832
他们两个干什么?
248
00:20:05,833 --> 00:20:07,199
你干嘛?
不要理人家了啦
249
00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:08,715
我们来划拳吧,划拳了啦
250
00:20:08,716 --> 00:20:10,399
南无…
251
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:12,599
大
252
00:20:15,433 --> 00:20:16,515
会爆的
253
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,549
大
254
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:19,115
大
255
00:20:21,266 --> 00:20:24,665
小
256
00:20:24,666 --> 00:20:26,465
变小了啊
257
00:20:26,466 --> 00:20:28,515
小了啊
258
00:20:28,516 --> 00:20:30,465
好可怕唷
259
00:20:33,266 --> 00:20:35,399
她怎么走了?
260
00:20:37,716 --> 00:20:40,065
狗叔刚刚那个绝招
什么时候教我一下?
261
00:20:40,066 --> 00:20:42,432
对啊
262
00:20:42,433 --> 00:20:44,749
人呢?
吓跑了
263
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,115
喝一点
264
00:20:54,116 --> 00:20:58,315
来,下来下来了啦
到了啦
265
00:20:58,316 --> 00:21:00,749
妹,三妹开门哪
266
00:21:00,750 --> 00:21:03,599
开门灬
把他扶起来
267
00:21:03,600 --> 00:21:07,315
哥,隔壁那几个色情狂
又来偷看我们洗澡换衣服了
268
00:21:07,316 --> 00:21:08,665
是真的啦
快帮我们的忙
269
00:21:08,666 --> 00:21:10,915
拿大棍子替我们报啦
270
00:21:10,916 --> 00:21:12,349
不可以啊
271
00:21:12,350 --> 00:21:13,665
我是警察呢
272
00:21:13,666 --> 00:21:15,149
怎么可以拿棍子打他
273
00:21:15,150 --> 00:21:17,599
当然是拿枪轰掉他
好啊…
274
00:21:17,600 --> 00:21:20,265
你们不要乱来啊
走啊,轰掉他
275
00:21:20,266 --> 00:21:21,515
快点啊,哥
喝
276
00:21:21,516 --> 00:21:25,149
喝吧还要喝
277
00:21:25,150 --> 00:21:27,465
开门,开门啦
278
00:21:27,466 --> 00:21:28,665
开门啊
你干嘛?
279
00:21:28,666 --> 00:21:29,915
你骂他,你来骂他
280
00:21:29,916 --> 00:21:32,832
不行啦
我的脏话没有你那么溜啊
281
00:21:32,833 --> 00:21:34,715
而且你有二十几个字的脏话嘛
282
00:21:34,716 --> 00:21:36,115
二十几个字喔
283
00:21:36,116 --> 00:21:38,149
绝子绝孙,臭杂种
284
00:21:38,150 --> 00:21:41,999
生男的没鸟鸟,生女的不嘘嘘
285
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,465
你妈妈的
286
00:21:43,466 --> 00:21:45,315
太好了
对啊
287
00:21:45,316 --> 00:21:46,832
开门啦,开门
288
00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:49,865
开门,你妈妈…
289
00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:52,149
你妈妈真会生你
290
00:21:52,150 --> 00:21:53,999
生得好漂亮耶
291
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:56,465
各位有何贵干啊?
292
00:21:56,466 --> 00:21:58,949
我们是来找
住在这里的色情狂的
293
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:00,399
色情狂?
294
00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:02,065
我们今天晚上才搬来的
295
00:22:02,066 --> 00:22:04,065
是不是以前
住在这儿的张先生?
296
00:22:04,066 --> 00:22:06,465
怎么会搬来这么快?
一点声音都没有耶
297
00:22:06,466 --> 00:22:07,949
哪位啊?
298
00:22:07,950 --> 00:22:11,599
各位有什么事情吗?
299
00:22:11,600 --> 00:22:13,949
这一个该轮到我了吧
300
00:22:13,950 --> 00:22:15,832
小姐,我们是住在隔壁的
301
00:22:15,833 --> 00:22:17,865
是来打个招呼而已
302
00:22:17,866 --> 00:22:20,799
欢迎
我们今天晚上刚刚搬进来的
303
00:22:20,800 --> 00:22:22,399
什么都不懂
304
00:22:22,400 --> 00:22:25,199
各位,请进来坐吧
好
305
00:22:30,950 --> 00:22:32,549
各位,这边请
306
00:22:32,550 --> 00:22:34,665
爸,哥,有客人来了
307
00:22:34,666 --> 00:22:37,265
惨了
我以爲只有她们两个人住
308
00:22:37,266 --> 00:22:39,232
看样子没搞头了
309
00:22:39,233 --> 00:22:40,915
你说她们两个哪个漂亮?
310
00:22:40,916 --> 00:22:42,399
我看三妹最漂亮
311
00:22:42,400 --> 00:22:43,832
瞎掰
312
00:22:43,833 --> 00:22:46,065
你说…
313
00:22:47,466 --> 00:22:49,832
我说啊,我最漂亮
314
00:22:49,833 --> 00:22:51,915
不过你也很漂亮喔
315
00:22:51,916 --> 00:22:55,065
你不要乱摸我啦
那你摸我干什么?
316
00:22:55,600 --> 00:22:58,515
这是我爸爸,这是我哥哥
317
00:22:59,150 --> 00:23:02,065
你们家布置得真漂亮
318
00:23:02,066 --> 00:23:04,432
各位,你们随便坐
319
00:23:04,433 --> 00:23:06,199
招呼不周到
320
00:23:06,200 --> 00:23:08,432
我去给你们倒几杯茶去了
321
00:23:08,433 --> 00:23:09,665
谢谢了
322
00:23:09,666 --> 00:23:11,632
别客气了,白兰地就可以了
323
00:23:11,633 --> 00:23:14,665
哥啊快
哥,这个就是那个色情狂耶
324
00:23:14,666 --> 00:23:16,349
那是以前的住客张先生
325
00:23:16,350 --> 00:23:18,665
这张照片是他留给我们
作纪念的
326
00:23:18,666 --> 00:23:21,832
你们坐一下
我们弄东西给你们吃啊
327
00:23:24,916 --> 00:23:26,865
随便弄点蛋糕就行了
328
00:23:26,866 --> 00:23:30,032
鱼翅啊,就不必了
329
00:23:33,266 --> 00:23:35,632
干嘛?
你眼睛抽筋啊?
330
00:23:35,633 --> 00:23:37,799
这叫做眉目传情
331
00:23:37,800 --> 00:23:39,315
处女不懂的
332
00:23:39,316 --> 00:23:41,549
谁说我是处…
333
00:23:41,550 --> 00:23:44,515
我是啊
334
00:23:44,516 --> 00:23:47,915
什么?
你唯一可取的东西都没有了
335
00:23:47,916 --> 00:23:51,465
东西来了,吃东西了…
336
00:23:51,466 --> 00:23:52,515
你是?
337
00:23:52,516 --> 00:23:53,915
我就是她们妈妈啊
338
00:23:53,916 --> 00:23:56,465
姐,她爸跟妈长得一模一样
对啊
339
00:23:56,466 --> 00:23:59,749
各位,随便吃,不要客气
340
00:23:59,750 --> 00:24:01,032
这屋里的人神秘兮兮的
341
00:24:01,033 --> 00:24:03,432
好像有点不太对劲耶
342
00:24:03,433 --> 00:24:04,865
你不对劲呢
343
00:24:04,866 --> 00:24:06,149
有东西吃
344
00:24:06,150 --> 00:24:07,832
又有美女可以看
345
00:24:07,833 --> 00:24:10,832
长期住我都愿意
干嘛还客气啊?
346
00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:26,949
小歪
347
00:24:27,833 --> 00:24:31,832
你发神经病是不是?
348
00:24:31,833 --> 00:24:34,115
没事
来来来,再吃块蛋糕
349
00:24:34,116 --> 00:24:36,432
谢谢
350
00:24:46,433 --> 00:24:48,315
走吧
351
00:24:48,316 --> 00:24:50,999
怎么要走了?
吃块蛋糕再走嘛
352
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,465
不用客气,我在减肥
353
00:24:53,466 --> 00:24:55,549
哥,我们走吧,哥
354
00:24:55,550 --> 00:24:56,349
走了啦,哥
355
00:24:56,350 --> 00:24:57,549
走了啦,哥
356
00:24:57,550 --> 00:24:59,715
哥
走了啦,要走了啦
357
00:24:59,716 --> 00:25:01,149
快走了啦,哥
358
00:25:01,150 --> 00:25:03,599
什么事情,我在哪里?
走了啦,快点
359
00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:05,865
我姓什么?
快走,走了
360
00:25:05,866 --> 00:25:08,599
小倩,小红啊,送客了
再见了,再见
361
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,865
你们要走啦?
我叫他们爸爸出来
362
00:25:10,866 --> 00:25:14,232
老啊,送客了
363
00:25:14,233 --> 00:25:16,632
拜拜,有空来坐
364
00:25:16,633 --> 00:25:19,349
我有空会来,过来送了…
365
00:25:19,350 --> 00:25:22,265
你们要走啦?
我们要回去看"欢乐今宵"
366
00:25:22,266 --> 00:25:23,999
请
367
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:25,999
拜拜,拜拜
368
00:25:27,233 --> 00:25:29,265
有空来玩
369
00:25:31,550 --> 00:25:33,632
对了,我叫陈百龙
370
00:25:33,633 --> 00:25:34,949
我叫小倩
371
00:25:34,950 --> 00:25:37,832
我可以打电话给你吗?
372
00:25:37,833 --> 00:25:38,999
我们家没电话的
373
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,715
要找我们呢就过来罗
374
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,715
你对他动了真情?
375
00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:52,665
没有
376
00:25:52,666 --> 00:25:53,865
没有?
377
00:25:53,866 --> 00:25:55,949
你要知道你自己的身分
378
00:25:55,950 --> 00:25:58,115
只要把你的骨灰倒进阴沟里
379
00:25:58,116 --> 00:25:59,999
你就永世不得翻身
380
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:01,665
不要啊,主人
381
00:26:01,666 --> 00:26:04,232
那你就要乖乖听我的话
382
00:26:04,233 --> 00:26:07,432
多勾引一些人来让我们吸血
383
00:26:07,433 --> 00:26:10,032
要不要
先吸隔壁那班人的血?
384
00:26:10,033 --> 00:26:11,715
不好
385
00:26:11,716 --> 00:26:15,149
我们被那个臭道士
用了心经相框封了那么久
386
00:26:15,150 --> 00:26:16,549
元气还没有恢复
387
00:26:16,550 --> 00:26:19,199
暂时不要打草惊蛇
388
00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,832
隔壁那班人等于我们的储粮
389
00:26:21,833 --> 00:26:24,149
什么时候吸都可以
390
00:26:24,150 --> 00:26:26,832
先吸外面的血
391
00:26:26,833 --> 00:26:29,599
等我们每个人吸够了
四十九个人的血
392
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:31,865
就恢复元气了
393
00:26:31,866 --> 00:26:34,632
到时候,我们会继续北上
394
00:26:34,633 --> 00:26:36,865
完成大业
395
00:26:41,516 --> 00:26:42,515
龙哥,没事了吧?
396
00:26:42,516 --> 00:26:43,665
没事了,没事了
397
00:26:43,666 --> 00:26:45,432
大家继续 HAPPY啊
398
00:26:45,433 --> 00:26:50,949
大哥,你不觉得隔壁那些人
古古怪怪的吗?
399
00:26:50,950 --> 00:26:52,265
是耶
400
00:26:52,266 --> 00:26:55,065
我也觉得他们非常古怪
401
00:26:55,066 --> 00:26:57,799
可能是吸血僵尸
要不要我找捉鬼敢死队啊?
402
00:26:57,800 --> 00:26:58,799
好…
403
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:01,515
你有病啊你,玩牌去啦
404
00:27:01,516 --> 00:27:04,065
这个房子怎么这么大的妖气啊
405
00:27:04,066 --> 00:27:05,115
对啊,对啊
406
00:27:05,116 --> 00:27:07,149
妖你个头啦,睡觉啦
407
00:27:07,150 --> 00:27:09,465
睡觉
408
00:27:11,116 --> 00:27:13,115
好了…大家到那边去玩了
409
00:27:13,116 --> 00:27:14,349
好啊
我也要玩
410
00:27:14,350 --> 00:27:16,599
还有我
411
00:28:13,833 --> 00:28:15,832
头呢?
412
00:28:20,866 --> 00:28:23,315
那个头跑哪儿去了?
413
00:28:55,516 --> 00:28:58,599
三妹,三妹
414
00:28:58,600 --> 00:29:01,399
怎么大家都睡着了
三妹也不晓得跑哪儿去了?
415
00:29:01,400 --> 00:29:04,032
想喝杯水都没有
416
00:29:07,800 --> 00:29:08,799
你好啊
417
00:29:08,800 --> 00:29:11,232
有没有看到我三妹啊?
418
00:29:12,716 --> 00:29:15,349
这么跩啊,都不理人的
419
00:29:15,350 --> 00:29:18,515
三妹
420
00:29:30,916 --> 00:29:32,399
我干嘛要叫?
421
00:29:32,400 --> 00:29:33,915
我自己就是鬼啊
422
00:29:33,916 --> 00:29:35,265
真是该打
423
00:29:35,266 --> 00:29:39,799
怎么了?
大哥,快点回去了啦
424
00:29:39,800 --> 00:29:41,065
这种人你都怕
425
00:29:41,066 --> 00:29:43,865
我跟他一对一
我都打得过他了
426
00:29:43,866 --> 00:29:46,665
阿龙
427
00:29:46,666 --> 00:29:49,232
你还晓得醒啊
428
00:29:49,233 --> 00:29:50,665
当然醒了
429
00:29:50,666 --> 00:29:55,349
不醒,我怎么知道酒放哪儿
430
00:29:57,466 --> 00:29:59,749
奇怪,怎么消失了?
431
00:29:59,750 --> 00:30:02,599
大哥,他不是个人耶
432
00:30:02,600 --> 00:30:05,265
他虽然是娘娘腔
不过你不要歧视人家
433
00:30:05,266 --> 00:30:07,265
他刚刚杀死了一个人
434
00:30:07,266 --> 00:30:09,465
那个人头就在那边啦
435
00:30:09,466 --> 00:30:11,349
人头?
436
00:30:11,350 --> 00:30:14,115
你小心一点喔
437
00:30:20,233 --> 00:30:24,315
里面是不是有个人头啊?
438
00:30:24,316 --> 00:30:25,999
有耶
439
00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:30,632
这里有一个大馒头耶
440
00:30:30,633 --> 00:30:32,232
讨厌你啦
你怎么打我嘛你?
441
00:30:32,233 --> 00:30:33,999
刚刚明明里面有个人头的
442
00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:35,799
你还要吓人家啦
443
00:30:35,800 --> 00:30:37,149
虽然你大哥是警察
444
00:30:37,150 --> 00:30:39,632
现在不是60年代
还敢这样冤枉人吗?
445
00:30:39,633 --> 00:30:42,465
会睁着眼睛说瞎话吗?
回去睡觉啦
446
00:30:42,466 --> 00:30:44,349
你等等我嘛
447
00:30:47,516 --> 00:30:49,865
不是我要说你啊,你太过分了
448
00:30:49,866 --> 00:30:53,199
狗叔还睡在这里
就这样子关门了啦
449
00:30:53,200 --> 00:30:55,715
最起码要给他盖一张报纸
450
00:30:55,716 --> 00:30:58,715
让他安息吧
451
00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,199
狗叔啊,正好,帮个忙吧
452
00:31:03,200 --> 00:31:04,832
听听龙哥在周年联欢会
453
00:31:04,833 --> 00:31:07,349
讲笑话大赛里讲的黄色笑话
讲得怎么样?
454
00:31:07,350 --> 00:31:09,865
黄色笑话好啊走
对啊,在那边
455
00:31:09,866 --> 00:31:12,315
有一个美女
坐在那边没有事情做
456
00:31:12,316 --> 00:31:14,632
突然之间一个神仙飞下来
457
00:31:14,633 --> 00:31:16,465
那神仙很斯文地问她
458
00:31:16,466 --> 00:31:19,149
美女啊
我想试一试凡人的性生活
459
00:31:19,150 --> 00:31:20,549
你可不可以帮帮忙啊?
460
00:31:20,550 --> 00:31:21,832
那美女就说了
461
00:31:21,833 --> 00:31:24,799
我无所谓啊
我很开放,试就试吧
462
00:31:24,800 --> 00:31:26,399
那你得先拿出来看看
463
00:31:26,400 --> 00:31:27,715
那神仙就掏出来了
464
00:31:27,716 --> 00:31:30,865
那个美女好失望
原来只有芈寸
465
00:31:30,866 --> 00:31:34,149
那神仙就说了
不要紧,我有办法
466
00:31:34,150 --> 00:31:36,549
长五寸,五不够
467
00:31:36,550 --> 00:31:38,199
变成十寸牛
468
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:39,315
那个美女吓死了
469
00:31:39,316 --> 00:31:40,865
不行那么长啊这怎么行呢
470
00:31:40,866 --> 00:31:42,315
神仙就说,不用怕
471
00:31:42,316 --> 00:31:43,749
就缩了五寸
472
00:31:43,750 --> 00:31:45,832
那美女好开心啊
蹦一下就跳上去了
473
00:31:45,833 --> 00:31:48,799
还对神仙说了
你不动怎么行呢
474
00:31:48,800 --> 00:31:50,065
那神仙就说了
475
00:31:50,066 --> 00:31:52,199
我又何必动呢,这样就行了
476
00:31:52,200 --> 00:31:55,149
砰恰恰,砰恰恰…
477
00:31:55,150 --> 00:31:57,865
这样就行了嘛
478
00:31:57,866 --> 00:31:59,399
这有什么好笑的?
479
00:31:59,400 --> 00:32:01,199
砰恰恰不就是跳舞吗?
480
00:32:01,200 --> 00:32:02,799
逊
481
00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,749
狗叔龙哥,小歪
组长找你们
482
00:32:06,750 --> 00:32:10,115
昨天的围捕
你们表现得非常好
483
00:32:10,116 --> 00:32:12,115
所以今天我有个好消息
484
00:32:12,116 --> 00:32:13,665
还有个坏消息要告诉你们
485
00:32:13,666 --> 00:32:15,999
那就先听坏息罗
486
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:17,315
坏消息嘛
487
00:32:17,316 --> 00:32:20,265
就是这批大圈仔原来还有同党
488
00:32:20,266 --> 00:32:21,599
据我们得到的线索
489
00:32:21,600 --> 00:32:23,515
他们要找这次带队的人
490
00:32:23,516 --> 00:32:26,149
还说要用很凶残的手段
把他给杀死
491
00:32:26,150 --> 00:32:29,149
陈组长
对你来说那是个坏消息啦
492
00:32:29,150 --> 00:32:30,515
那好消息呢?
493
00:32:30,516 --> 00:32:33,632
好消息就是新闻处发错了照片
494
00:32:33,633 --> 00:32:35,832
他们本来要发我的照片
495
00:32:35,833 --> 00:32:39,149
结果发成你的照片
496
00:32:39,150 --> 00:32:41,749
那有没有得改啊?
497
00:32:43,033 --> 00:32:45,749
你看吧
498
00:32:45,750 --> 00:32:48,599
陈百龙再建奇功
499
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:50,349
我苦了
500
00:32:50,350 --> 00:32:51,915
真的是他耶
阿龙啊
501
00:32:51,916 --> 00:32:53,149
你是不是很紧张?
502
00:32:53,150 --> 00:32:56,232
我…我的样子像紧张吗?
503
00:32:56,233 --> 00:32:58,832
我好冷静的
504
00:32:58,833 --> 00:33:02,349
那你干嘛
要把我红墨水给喝完呢?
505
00:33:04,950 --> 00:33:06,999
那更好啊,可以用百龙做饵
506
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,032
把那些同党引出来
507
00:33:08,033 --> 00:33:09,749
然后一网打尽
508
00:33:09,750 --> 00:33:11,315
我也是这么想
509
00:33:11,316 --> 00:33:13,115
我砰恰恰你啊
510
00:33:17,066 --> 00:33:19,599
大哥
大哥,你干什么?
511
00:33:19,600 --> 00:33:20,799
有没有可疑的人啊?
512
00:33:20,800 --> 00:33:22,665
有啊,就是隔壁那几个罗
513
00:33:22,666 --> 00:33:26,349
不是那几个
有没有像杀手型的人来过?
514
00:33:26,916 --> 00:33:28,065
我像不像杀手
515
00:33:28,066 --> 00:33:29,515
不像啦
516
00:33:29,516 --> 00:33:32,399
别闹了啦
脏死了啦
517
00:33:34,716 --> 00:33:40,232
防弹衣
518
00:33:42,233 --> 00:33:44,465
防弹领巾
519
00:33:45,150 --> 00:33:47,349
防弹鞋
520
00:33:47,350 --> 00:33:51,315
防弹手套
521
00:33:51,316 --> 00:33:54,599
防弹内裤
保护我最重要的地方
522
00:33:54,600 --> 00:33:56,915
这是防什么的呢?
523
00:33:56,916 --> 00:33:58,315
防弹保险套啦
524
00:33:58,316 --> 00:34:00,749
我拿去试试看合不合?
525
00:35:11,750 --> 00:35:14,265
愿意跟我吃饭吗?
526
00:35:22,066 --> 00:35:24,599
赚到了
527
00:35:24,600 --> 00:35:26,115
这个手势怎么比?
528
00:35:26,116 --> 00:35:27,665
算了,算了
529
00:35:31,150 --> 00:35:33,999
你这部车子很时髦耶
530
00:35:34,000 --> 00:35:35,632
我这部破车叫时髦?
531
00:35:35,633 --> 00:35:37,632
我都不晓得几手车了
532
00:35:37,633 --> 00:35:40,749
不会啊,我觉得很新耶
533
00:35:41,916 --> 00:35:43,832
吃片雪花糕
534
00:35:44,800 --> 00:35:46,465
你也很喜欢吃传统的东西
535
00:35:46,466 --> 00:35:49,832
难怪发型跟衣服那么懐旧
536
00:35:50,350 --> 00:35:51,999
我这件衣服是去年的
537
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,115
帽子是前年的
538
00:35:54,116 --> 00:35:55,149
还有什么是去年的?
539
00:35:55,150 --> 00:35:56,865
这个雪花糕不是吧?
540
00:35:56,866 --> 00:36:00,949
当然不是了,那是大前年的
541
00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,915
你很幽默耶
542
00:36:10,916 --> 00:36:12,832
怎么搞的?
543
00:36:14,916 --> 00:36:17,915
糟了,老毛病又犯了
544
00:36:27,150 --> 00:36:29,115
惨了啦,没得救了
545
00:36:29,116 --> 00:36:31,432
你说该怎么办呢?
546
00:36:35,550 --> 00:36:36,799
别开你的车了
547
00:36:36,800 --> 00:36:39,715
开我的保时捷吧
548
00:36:44,150 --> 00:36:45,915
你怎么会有一部车在这里啊?
549
00:36:45,916 --> 00:36:49,199
我叫司机开车
一路跟着我们的
550
00:36:49,200 --> 00:36:51,115
我怎么没有发觉
551
00:36:51,116 --> 00:36:55,399
这是要监视你
看你有没有对我不规矩啊
552
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,465
钥匙
553
00:36:59,550 --> 00:37:03,665
我这一辈子第一次开保时捷
一定要飙个痛快
554
00:37:14,833 --> 00:37:17,232
太过瘾了耶
555
00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:20,199
怎么其他的车开那么慢?
556
00:37:20,200 --> 00:37:22,832
好像没开一样
557
00:37:22,833 --> 00:37:25,549
糟了,被测速照相了
558
00:37:25,550 --> 00:37:27,599
一百五十公里啊
559
00:37:27,600 --> 00:37:29,549
这么厉害喔
560
00:37:38,116 --> 00:37:39,832
怎么会有这种车子啊?
561
00:37:39,833 --> 00:37:41,432
管他什么车子呢
562
00:37:41,433 --> 00:37:42,915
凡是有轮子的就得抄啊
563
00:37:42,916 --> 00:37:44,265
多少公里啊?
564
00:37:44,266 --> 00:37:45,832
一百五十公里
565
00:37:45,833 --> 00:37:47,115
VERY GOOD
566
00:37:47,116 --> 00:37:49,115
不能放过他
567
00:37:49,116 --> 00:37:50,265
驾照
568
00:37:50,266 --> 00:37:52,349
给个面子啦,自己人啦
569
00:37:52,350 --> 00:37:54,949
你想妨碍司法公正?
570
00:37:54,950 --> 00:37:57,799
不是嘛
驾照
571
00:38:09,350 --> 00:38:10,349
恭喜你啊
572
00:38:10,350 --> 00:38:13,115
创出晚最快时速
一百五十公里啊
573
00:38:13,116 --> 00:38:15,465
你已经中了特别快大奖
574
00:38:15,466 --> 00:38:16,515
奖品就是
575
00:38:16,516 --> 00:38:17,632
我们所有同仁的钱
576
00:38:17,633 --> 00:38:19,832
来来来,一起拿出来,来
577
00:38:19,833 --> 00:38:22,715
给你
交给我,来…
578
00:38:22,716 --> 00:38:24,715
好,来,你全拿去啊
579
00:38:24,716 --> 00:38:26,065
全都是你的
580
00:38:26,066 --> 00:38:27,749
还不快点开车啊
581
00:38:27,750 --> 00:38:28,799
拜
582
00:38:28,800 --> 00:38:31,232
希望明天晚上你再创新的纪录
583
00:38:31,233 --> 00:38:34,065
开快点
584
00:38:34,066 --> 00:38:36,315
快开车啊
585
00:38:36,316 --> 00:38:39,399
拜拜…
586
00:38:42,866 --> 00:38:44,665
这什么怪车?
587
00:38:59,033 --> 00:39:01,832
麻烦你啊
588
00:39:01,833 --> 00:39:03,032
新款式的
589
00:39:03,033 --> 00:39:06,799
很少见到这么漂亮的车吧?
590
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,515
没有零钱耶
591
00:39:12,266 --> 00:39:13,999
那
592
00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:16,865
这么大一张喔
593
00:39:17,633 --> 00:39:18,465
怎么开啊?
594
00:39:18,466 --> 00:39:23,465
管他的,抬过去就算了
595
00:39:24,350 --> 00:39:26,432
来
596
00:39:28,233 --> 00:39:30,949
糟了,门神少我的法力
597
00:39:30,950 --> 00:39:33,315
现在只有百龙才能看得到我了
598
00:39:33,316 --> 00:39:35,115
怎么了?
不舒服喔
599
00:39:35,116 --> 00:39:37,549
来有没有事?
先生
600
00:39:37,550 --> 00:39:39,915
那位小姐?
601
00:39:39,916 --> 00:39:43,465
没事啊,帮我找位子
602
00:39:43,466 --> 00:39:45,549
请进
来
603
00:39:49,233 --> 00:39:52,399
坐
请坐
604
00:39:56,716 --> 00:39:59,915
要吃点什么?
我想…
605
00:39:59,916 --> 00:40:01,399
随便什么都可以
606
00:40:01,400 --> 00:40:03,399
好
607
00:40:07,066 --> 00:40:08,115
糟了
608
00:40:08,116 --> 00:40:10,065
什么事啊?
609
00:40:10,066 --> 00:40:11,399
我
610
00:40:11,400 --> 00:40:15,232
我看到一个女杀手
就坐在那边啦
611
00:40:15,233 --> 00:40:17,232
我是做卧底工作的
612
00:40:17,233 --> 00:40:19,232
我过去跟她讲几句话
613
00:40:19,233 --> 00:40:20,432
你别当真喔
614
00:40:20,433 --> 00:40:22,199
我讲的没有一句是真的
615
00:40:22,200 --> 00:40:23,432
那好刺激喔
616
00:40:23,433 --> 00:40:26,632
就像长江一号
天字第一号,对吗?
617
00:40:26,633 --> 00:40:28,399
你怎么想的都是老的间谍故事
618
00:40:28,400 --> 00:40:30,749
我先过去了
619
00:40:30,750 --> 00:40:31,515
女儿啊
620
00:40:31,516 --> 00:40:35,065
你看阿龙一个人在吃饭
表情怪怪的
621
00:40:35,066 --> 00:40:35,949
伯母
622
00:40:35,950 --> 00:40:37,599
毕波,这么巧啊
623
00:40:37,600 --> 00:40:39,549
你一个人哪?
624
00:40:39,550 --> 00:40:43,432
毕波
我有一件事情一定要跟你说
625
00:40:43,433 --> 00:40:45,265
我本来不可以告诉别人的
626
00:40:45,266 --> 00:40:47,915
但是我实在太爱你
所以一定要告诉你
627
00:40:47,916 --> 00:40:50,399
什么事嘛?
628
00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:52,665
我现在在做卧底的
629
00:40:52,666 --> 00:40:55,832
我跟黑社会老大的女儿吃饭
630
00:40:55,833 --> 00:40:59,265
我是奉命牺牲色相
泡这个妞的
631
00:40:59,266 --> 00:41:01,749
在哪里啊?
632
00:41:01,750 --> 00:41:03,915
你不要看得那么明显
633
00:41:03,916 --> 00:41:07,599
就是那个穿深色衣服的那一个
634
00:41:07,600 --> 00:41:10,799
怎么还不来?
635
00:41:11,666 --> 00:41:15,515
那…真是委屈你了
636
00:41:15,516 --> 00:41:17,465
我也很痛苦的
637
00:41:17,466 --> 00:41:19,265
但是了伸张正义
638
00:41:19,266 --> 00:41:21,949
了清除社会败类
639
00:41:21,950 --> 00:41:26,832
没有办法,我先过去了
640
00:41:26,833 --> 00:41:29,265
不过,无论如何,你要记住
641
00:41:29,266 --> 00:41:31,432
我只爱你一个人
642
00:41:34,316 --> 00:41:35,432
没事啦?
643
00:41:35,433 --> 00:41:38,115
没事了,喝杯茶吧
644
00:41:38,116 --> 00:41:41,865
不要再看那边了
会露出马脚的
645
00:41:46,833 --> 00:41:48,915
他在搞什么鬼啊?
是啊
646
00:41:51,066 --> 00:41:53,915
女杀手来了耶
647
00:41:53,916 --> 00:41:55,915
你在搞什么?
648
00:41:55,916 --> 00:41:58,149
我不是告诉过你吗?
649
00:41:58,150 --> 00:42:00,599
我来介绍啦,这位是小倩
650
00:42:00,600 --> 00:42:02,799
这位是甄毕波
651
00:42:02,800 --> 00:42:04,349
你在跟谁说话?
652
00:42:04,350 --> 00:42:07,865
我跟你说话,她…
653
00:42:12,350 --> 00:42:14,515
你很饿吗?
654
00:42:15,550 --> 00:42:18,265
饿鬼,快附上她身
655
00:42:22,116 --> 00:42:27,065
我好饿耶
656
00:42:27,950 --> 00:42:30,832
你干什么?
怎么塞那么多荣啊?
657
00:42:32,150 --> 00:42:33,749
你怎么可以这样子嘛
658
00:42:33,750 --> 00:42:34,915
女儿
659
00:42:34,916 --> 00:42:36,599
女儿啊,你到底怎么了?
660
00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,999
骂人鬼立刻附上她身
661
00:42:40,000 --> 00:42:41,432
不要再吃了
662
00:42:43,433 --> 00:42:45,549
贱女人,关你屁事啊
663
00:42:45,550 --> 00:42:46,832
你居然敢管我?
664
00:42:46,833 --> 00:42:49,465
你看你尖嘴猴腮
一副想勾搭男人的样子
665
00:42:49,466 --> 00:42:51,549
就知道你不要脸
你怎么了,女儿?
666
00:42:51,550 --> 00:42:54,549
毕波,你到底是怎么回事啊?
667
00:42:55,066 --> 00:42:57,065
色情鬼上她身
668
00:42:59,950 --> 00:43:04,515
嗨,四眼哥哥,你好英俊喔
669
00:43:04,516 --> 00:43:07,149
拜托,你不要找我,我怕你啊
670
00:43:07,150 --> 00:43:09,665
我好想你喔
671
00:43:12,350 --> 00:43:13,349
四眼哥哥
不要啊
672
00:43:13,350 --> 00:43:14,349
情到深处无怨尤
673
00:43:14,350 --> 00:43:15,832
让我们的肉体完全融合
674
00:43:15,833 --> 00:43:16,915
性爱救世人
675
00:43:16,916 --> 00:43:20,032
让我拥有你,让我占有你
676
00:43:22,150 --> 00:43:23,399
毕波毕波
677
00:43:23,400 --> 00:43:25,232
你中邪了是不是,毕波?
678
00:43:25,233 --> 00:43:25,999
走
679
00:43:26,000 --> 00:43:27,599
你干什么啦?
不要闹了
680
00:43:27,600 --> 00:43:28,549
我们回去吧
681
00:43:28,550 --> 00:43:29,799
怎么了,怎么晕倒了呢?
682
00:43:29,800 --> 00:43:32,265
女儿
你醒一醒啊,醒一醒啊
683
00:43:32,266 --> 00:43:33,832
女儿,醒一醒啊
684
00:43:33,833 --> 00:43:36,432
这位先生帮帮忙
帮忙把她扶到那边去好不好
685
00:43:36,433 --> 00:43:37,349
用
谢谢啊
686
00:43:37,350 --> 00:43:39,665
速来三号货仓
687
00:43:39,666 --> 00:43:41,032
又有什么事啊?
688
00:43:41,033 --> 00:43:43,465
你同事找你啊?
是啊
689
00:43:43,466 --> 00:43:45,549
别管那三八婆了,我送你回去
690
00:43:45,550 --> 00:43:48,032
不必了
我陪你到三号货仓去吧
691
00:43:48,033 --> 00:43:49,632
好啊,走
692
00:43:50,000 --> 00:43:51,665
来来来,不要理他…我们喝
693
00:43:51,666 --> 00:43:54,032
放我下来啊,放我下来
694
00:43:54,033 --> 00:43:56,432
小子,给我闭嘴,叫什么叫?
695
00:43:56,433 --> 00:43:58,399
放我下来啊
696
00:43:58,400 --> 00:44:00,665
放我下来
697
00:44:07,666 --> 00:44:09,515
有人来了,快闪
698
00:44:09,516 --> 00:44:12,232
糟了,他有麻烦了
699
00:44:22,550 --> 00:44:25,749
快点变快点变
真枪变玩具枪
700
00:44:30,466 --> 00:44:32,665
谁在玩这个小孩子游戏啊?
701
00:44:32,666 --> 00:44:34,432
王八蛋
702
00:44:34,433 --> 00:44:35,865
玩具枪啊
玩具枪啊
703
00:44:35,866 --> 00:44:36,749
无聊
704
00:44:36,750 --> 00:44:38,032
兄弟,上
705
00:44:38,033 --> 00:44:39,549
来真的喔
706
00:44:43,066 --> 00:44:44,749
鱼五羊
不要跑
707
00:44:46,116 --> 00:44:48,032
看你往哪儿跑?
708
00:45:00,150 --> 00:45:02,149
快跑啊
709
00:45:16,750 --> 00:45:18,799
走啊
710
00:45:23,350 --> 00:45:29,432
我有惧高症啊
711
00:45:31,866 --> 00:45:33,549
过去
712
00:45:35,866 --> 00:45:37,799
阿龙,你没事吧?
713
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:41,032
你用妖术,胜之不武
714
00:45:41,916 --> 00:45:43,232
都搞定啦?
715
00:45:43,233 --> 00:45:45,749
那我女朋友呢?
716
00:45:48,800 --> 00:45:51,832
怎么搞的,她怎么先走了?
717
00:45:51,833 --> 00:45:53,665
这里妖气很重
718
00:45:53,666 --> 00:45:56,265
阿龙,你有点不太对劲喔
719
00:45:56,266 --> 00:45:57,599
什么啦?
720
00:46:00,866 --> 00:46:03,349
大哥我说的是真的嘛
你信不信?
721
00:46:03,350 --> 00:46:04,999
你说隔壁住的是妖魔鬼怪
722
00:46:05,000 --> 00:46:06,465
今天晚上我们请她过来吃饭
723
00:46:06,466 --> 00:46:08,715
证明她不只是人
而且还有一个是美人
724
00:46:08,716 --> 00:46:11,799
晚上别乱说话
725
00:46:12,866 --> 00:46:15,265
阿龙
726
00:46:17,266 --> 00:46:18,665
二妹,三妹啊
727
00:46:18,666 --> 00:46:19,549
他怎么了?
728
00:46:19,550 --> 00:46:21,665
这次不得了了事情可大了
729
00:46:21,666 --> 00:46:23,432
这件事情
有关你未来老公的生死
730
00:46:23,433 --> 00:46:25,315
你一定要帮忙啊
731
00:46:27,116 --> 00:46:31,149
大魔神,赐我力量
732
00:46:31,150 --> 00:46:33,199
让我不怕阳光
733
00:46:33,200 --> 00:46:34,915
大魔神
734
00:46:34,950 --> 00:46:38,432
只要我们吸够
四十九个生人的血
735
00:46:38,433 --> 00:46:41,399
我们就都会北上的
736
00:46:41,400 --> 00:46:43,432
我们的师兄弟
737
00:46:43,433 --> 00:46:46,199
已经遵从魔神的奉令
738
00:46:46,200 --> 00:46:48,549
迷惑了当权人士
739
00:46:48,550 --> 00:46:50,665
我们会藉我们的力量
740
00:46:50,666 --> 00:46:56,749
把这个世界变成黑暗世界
741
00:46:58,266 --> 00:47:01,432
我们五十几年前
给臭道士困在相片里面
742
00:47:01,433 --> 00:47:02,865
成不了大业
743
00:47:02,866 --> 00:47:06,232
这一次
我们要好好地闹个天翻地覆
744
00:47:06,233 --> 00:47:10,032
我们要血流成河,日月无光
745
00:47:11,116 --> 00:47:13,749
小倩,你去开门
746
00:47:13,750 --> 00:47:17,065
引那个人进来杀死他
747
00:47:21,433 --> 00:47:22,432
嗨
什么事啊?
748
00:47:22,433 --> 00:47:23,715
送给你的花
749
00:47:23,716 --> 00:47:25,715
花店已经打烊了
只剩下剑兰了
750
00:47:25,716 --> 00:47:27,599
你快走吧
我还有事情要做
751
00:47:27,600 --> 00:47:29,665
我有事要跟你讲
小倩
752
00:47:29,666 --> 00:47:31,832
爲什么不请客人进来坐呢?
753
00:47:31,833 --> 00:47:34,599
那我不客气了
欢迎
754
00:47:37,433 --> 00:47:39,515
请坐
755
00:47:51,400 --> 00:47:53,999
来,喝杯酒吧
756
00:47:55,000 --> 00:47:58,232
这杯酒怎么那么红?
比红酒还红耶
757
00:48:01,066 --> 00:48:02,799
叫什么啊?
758
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:04,399
"BIG AUNT"
759
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,315
我听不懂
760
00:48:06,316 --> 00:48:10,065
就是"大姨妈"罗
761
00:48:10,066 --> 00:48:11,665
你有什么话赶快说
762
00:48:11,666 --> 00:48:13,232
说完了赶快回去了
763
00:48:13,233 --> 00:48:17,232
我想,明天晚上
请你到我家吃便饭
764
00:48:22,150 --> 00:48:24,749
明天晚上有空吗?
765
00:48:27,233 --> 00:48:29,265
你没事吧?
766
00:48:29,266 --> 00:48:30,265
我没事
767
00:48:30,266 --> 00:48:32,265
我心口忽然觉得有点痛
768
00:48:32,266 --> 00:48:34,665
要不要我帮你按摩?
虽然我吃点亏
769
00:48:34,666 --> 00:48:37,549
不过呢
了你,我也无所谓啦
770
00:48:37,550 --> 00:48:39,065
我现在没事了,你快走吧
771
00:48:39,066 --> 00:48:40,715
你明天晚上再来好了
772
00:48:40,716 --> 00:48:41,949
这样喔
773
00:48:41,950 --> 00:48:43,632
还有一件事我要告诉你
774
00:48:43,633 --> 00:48:44,599
下个星期啊
775
00:48:44,600 --> 00:48:48,065
我们局里特别举行了
全体同仁及家属联欢会啦
776
00:48:48,066 --> 00:48:49,665
你们一起来吧
777
00:48:49,666 --> 00:48:50,915
还有游戏节目喔
778
00:48:50,916 --> 00:48:55,065
请了两个议员来颁奖耶
779
00:48:55,066 --> 00:48:56,832
我参加了笑话比赛啦
780
00:48:56,833 --> 00:48:58,515
给个面子吧
781
00:48:58,516 --> 00:48:59,632
陈先生
782
00:48:59,633 --> 00:49:01,865
到时候我们一定会去的
783
00:49:01,866 --> 00:49:04,632
小倩,送陈先生
784
00:49:04,633 --> 00:49:07,665
谢谢,拜拜
再见
785
00:49:10,150 --> 00:49:12,315
明天晚上你不要来了
786
00:49:12,316 --> 00:49:13,265
陈先生
787
00:49:13,266 --> 00:49:17,115
小倩明天一定会到府上去的
请回吧
788
00:49:19,550 --> 00:49:22,199
小倩
789
00:49:22,200 --> 00:49:25,065
如果你不想
我把你的骨灰给散掉
790
00:49:25,066 --> 00:49:27,665
你就好好地迷惑那个傻小子
791
00:49:27,666 --> 00:49:29,999
姥姥,他是个好人啊
792
00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,715
你那么紧张干什么?
793
00:49:31,716 --> 00:49:33,515
我又没有说要杀他
794
00:49:33,516 --> 00:49:35,915
我只不过想利用他
795
00:49:35,916 --> 00:49:37,599
如果你做得好
796
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:40,515
或许我会考虑饶他一命
797
00:49:40,516 --> 00:49:42,749
姥姥,你不要骗我喔
798
00:49:46,466 --> 00:49:49,199
你没有资格跟我讨价还价
799
00:49:49,200 --> 00:49:51,715
总之我一定要去那个联欢会
800
00:49:51,716 --> 00:49:54,432
我需要那两个议员
801
00:50:00,916 --> 00:50:05,032
这些符啊是我妈妈回大陆
在什么龙虎山上求回来的
802
00:50:05,033 --> 00:50:06,665
她说那些鬼啊一碰到
803
00:50:06,666 --> 00:50:09,265
就会像被火烧的一样
804
00:50:09,266 --> 00:50:11,799
那
这五个杯子都是用竹子做的
805
00:50:11,800 --> 00:50:14,349
她摸到哪一杯都死定了
806
00:50:17,116 --> 00:50:18,749
这杯是什么?
黑狗血啊
807
00:50:18,750 --> 00:50:21,199
加在酒里面,等一下给她喝
808
00:50:21,200 --> 00:50:24,199
如果她很聪明没有上当
那我们怎么办?
809
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,832
那个时候,就豁出去啦
810
00:50:26,833 --> 00:50:30,465
用这个柳枝啊打她,打她
811
00:50:31,150 --> 00:50:33,549
收…快收起来
812
00:50:33,550 --> 00:50:35,865
请进啦
813
00:50:36,800 --> 00:50:38,749
大哥,你回来啦
814
00:50:38,750 --> 00:50:41,232
大哥
毕波,你…
815
00:50:41,233 --> 00:50:42,199
大哥
毕波你…
816
00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:44,665
有什么关系嘛
我们大家都是朋友嘛
817
00:50:44,666 --> 00:50:48,999
让我来自我介绍
我叫甄毕波
818
00:50:50,833 --> 00:50:53,465
我叫小倩
819
00:51:03,200 --> 00:51:04,865
你发什么神经啊
820
00:51:04,866 --> 00:51:07,032
我们不要理她了
我们到那边去坐
821
00:51:07,033 --> 00:51:10,315
快点
822
00:51:10,316 --> 00:51:13,149
来来来,请坐…
823
00:51:14,833 --> 00:51:17,599
蜘蛛啊
824
00:51:19,550 --> 00:51:20,665
没有啊
825
00:51:20,666 --> 00:51:23,799
会不会钻到那里面去了?
826
00:51:23,800 --> 00:51:28,032
不用怕
把它丢了不就好了吗?
827
00:51:28,033 --> 00:51:29,599
来
828
00:51:29,600 --> 00:51:31,465
这边坐
829
00:51:31,466 --> 00:51:33,515
狗血啊
怎么办?
830
00:51:38,716 --> 00:51:40,549
请喝葡萄汁
831
00:51:40,550 --> 00:51:42,032
我只要喝水就好了
832
00:51:42,033 --> 00:51:44,915
拿进去,倒杯冰水啊
833
00:51:47,400 --> 00:51:49,632
那幅画好漂亮
834
00:51:49,633 --> 00:51:50,632
那是我画的啦
835
00:51:50,633 --> 00:51:52,065
去泼她啦
836
00:51:52,066 --> 00:51:53,315
这幅画画得不错耶
837
00:51:53,316 --> 00:51:54,549
这是你的签名吗?
838
00:51:54,550 --> 00:51:56,232
没有啦随便画的啦
FRANCE COREA
839
00:51:56,233 --> 00:51:58,749
快泼快泼啊
840
00:52:01,950 --> 00:52:04,749
太过分了
841
00:52:04,750 --> 00:52:08,715
你们搞什么鬼啊?
842
00:52:08,716 --> 00:52:12,515
3
不好意思,我去换条裤子啦
843
00:52:12,516 --> 00:52:14,399
小倩啊你满会穿衣服的
844
00:52:14,400 --> 00:52:16,432
一定很喜欢看时装杂志了
845
00:52:16,433 --> 00:52:17,915
我很少看的
846
00:52:17,916 --> 00:52:19,715
这衣服好好看,很适合你的
847
00:52:19,716 --> 00:52:22,432
你看嘛
是啊…
848
00:52:26,266 --> 00:52:28,115
搞什么?
849
00:52:28,116 --> 00:52:29,465
怎么突然停电了?
850
00:52:29,466 --> 00:52:33,315
原来是开关跳掉了
851
00:52:38,833 --> 00:52:40,949
你没事情吧?
852
00:52:40,950 --> 00:52:42,865
痛死我了
853
00:52:42,866 --> 00:52:45,549
那本杂志
怎么会飞到上面去了呢?
854
00:52:45,550 --> 00:52:49,199
你们三个在搞什么鬼啦?
哥,快来帮我
855
00:52:49,200 --> 00:52:51,065
顺便拉我一下
856
00:52:51,066 --> 00:52:54,315
拉我起来啊
好啦,等等啦
857
00:52:54,316 --> 00:52:56,465
水来了
858
00:52:56,466 --> 00:52:59,465
小倩,你不是想喝水吗?
859
00:52:59,466 --> 00:53:00,949
这杯水给你喝
860
00:53:00,950 --> 00:53:02,832
谢谢
861
00:53:02,833 --> 00:53:05,265
就让我先以水代酒敬你一杯
862
00:53:05,266 --> 00:53:06,149
干杯啊
863
00:53:06,150 --> 00:53:09,915
这两个家伙很爱玩
要干就跟她干罗
864
00:53:09,916 --> 00:53:11,265
谢谢
865
00:53:11,266 --> 00:53:14,199
喝了
你不喝就是不给我面子了
866
00:53:14,200 --> 00:53:17,232
好,不过我有点咳嗽
867
00:53:17,233 --> 00:53:20,799
怕传染给你们
868
00:53:24,033 --> 00:53:25,999
不好意思啊
869
00:53:26,000 --> 00:53:28,265
我不能干杯
870
00:53:28,266 --> 00:53:30,515
吃饭啦吃饭啦
871
00:53:34,316 --> 00:53:35,399
她就要走了耶
872
00:53:35,400 --> 00:53:36,832
我们得赶快想办法整她
873
00:53:36,833 --> 00:53:38,632
不行啦,大哥一定会帮着她
874
00:53:38,633 --> 00:53:39,515
没有用的
875
00:53:39,516 --> 00:53:41,999
就是嘛
我们最多只能再拖一个钟头
876
00:53:42,000 --> 00:53:45,032
她一定会走的
877
00:53:45,033 --> 00:53:47,315
对了鬼最怕什么来着?
878
00:53:47,316 --> 00:53:48,515
U
鬼…
879
00:53:48,516 --> 00:53:49,949
天亮
880
00:53:51,750 --> 00:53:53,749
各位
今天大家都玩得那么开心
881
00:53:53,750 --> 00:53:56,032
我们来玩玩牌好不好?
882
00:53:56,033 --> 00:53:57,749
太晚了啦
883
00:53:57,750 --> 00:53:59,199
有什么关系嘛,大哥
884
00:53:59,200 --> 00:54:00,549
她就住在隔壁啊
885
00:54:00,550 --> 00:54:04,632
除非小倩不给面子
886
00:54:04,633 --> 00:54:06,865
那好吧,就玩一会儿
887
00:54:10,633 --> 00:54:11,749
该谁了?
888
00:54:11,750 --> 00:54:14,032
我打了,该你了
889
00:54:19,716 --> 00:54:21,549
现在都三点多了
890
00:54:21,550 --> 00:54:23,399
我们不玩了好不好?
891
00:54:23,400 --> 00:54:25,832
我不要,我输了那么多
892
00:54:25,833 --> 00:54:27,915
再玩个二十副了
好
893
00:54:27,916 --> 00:54:31,349
如果你赢回去了
那我是不是可以走了呢?
894
00:54:31,350 --> 00:54:33,432
不行啊,你自己看
895
00:54:33,433 --> 00:54:35,265
现在输最多的人是我耶
896
00:54:35,266 --> 00:54:36,665
如果说你现在不玩了
897
00:54:36,666 --> 00:54:38,432
我可是会翻脸的
898
00:54:38,433 --> 00:54:39,515
我看干脆…
899
00:54:39,516 --> 00:54:40,632
再玩四十副
900
00:54:40,633 --> 00:54:42,749
公道,公道
对
901
00:54:44,633 --> 00:54:48,115
现在我是大输家
我可以回去了?
902
00:54:48,116 --> 00:54:50,115
不行啦,你是个客人
903
00:54:50,116 --> 00:54:52,265
又已经输了这么多了
904
00:54:52,266 --> 00:54:53,232
一定要让你上诉
905
00:54:53,233 --> 00:54:55,949
我们再玩二十副
那好吧
906
00:54:55,950 --> 00:54:57,949
如果有一副牌,我一吃三的话
907
00:54:57,950 --> 00:55:00,349
是不是就可以走了呢?
908
00:55:00,350 --> 00:55:02,865
好
909
00:55:02,866 --> 00:55:06,265
你先出,你发牌
910
00:55:26,266 --> 00:55:27,315
有得瞧了
911
00:55:27,316 --> 00:55:31,915
看你这把怎么赢我?
912
00:55:39,550 --> 00:55:42,549
赢定了
913
00:55:57,150 --> 00:55:59,432
我让你输死
914
00:55:59,433 --> 00:56:01,315
请啊
915
00:56:04,666 --> 00:56:06,065
三个九
916
00:56:06,066 --> 00:56:08,149
大
917
00:56:10,150 --> 00:56:12,149
三个八
918
00:56:12,150 --> 00:56:14,515
大
919
00:56:15,550 --> 00:56:18,065
三条七
920
00:56:20,116 --> 00:56:22,199
三条六
921
00:56:24,516 --> 00:56:26,515
LAST PART(最后一把)
922
00:56:28,866 --> 00:56:30,599
你们谁有三条啊?
923
00:56:30,600 --> 00:56:33,865
有啊可是不够大啊
924
00:56:33,866 --> 00:56:36,999
没有了吗?
925
00:56:37,000 --> 00:56:40,832
我了,这一把我一吃三
926
00:56:40,833 --> 00:56:44,032
对不起
我有事情,我先走了
927
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,199
等我一下
928
00:56:57,266 --> 00:56:59,832
救火啊,救火啊,失火了
929
00:56:59,833 --> 00:57:01,349
快点啦
930
00:57:01,350 --> 00:57:03,399
怎么搞的你
931
00:57:03,400 --> 00:57:04,749
快点,快点
932
00:57:04,750 --> 00:57:07,915
大哥,房子烧起来了
快起来,失火了啦
933
00:57:07,916 --> 00:57:11,032
你们搞什么鬼啊?
934
00:57:17,066 --> 00:57:19,232
小倩呢?
935
00:57:19,516 --> 00:57:20,232
≡
936
00:57:28,316 --> 00:57:32,115
姥姥,开门哪开门啊
937
00:57:32,116 --> 00:57:34,065
你肯不肯帮我迷惑他?
938
00:57:34,066 --> 00:57:35,949
我肯
939
00:57:35,950 --> 00:57:40,232
快放我进来啊,我什么都肯
940
00:57:40,233 --> 00:57:41,515
开门啊
941
00:57:41,516 --> 00:57:44,232
你肯了是不是?
942
00:57:45,033 --> 00:57:50,032
我肯,我什么事都肯
943
00:57:50,033 --> 00:57:53,749
开门啊姥姥快一点啊
944
00:57:59,066 --> 00:58:00,632
贱货
945
00:58:02,033 --> 00:58:04,065
你们来找我是正确的
946
00:58:04,066 --> 00:58:07,265
我看百龙被鬼迷住了
947
00:58:07,266 --> 00:58:09,599
你究竟在说什么?
948
00:58:09,600 --> 00:58:12,032
我是说,你们找对人了
949
00:58:12,033 --> 00:58:15,799
你们大哥八成让鬼迷住了
950
00:58:15,800 --> 00:58:18,749
你明明会讲国语
干嘛学人家讲台湾话?
951
00:58:18,750 --> 00:58:20,465
台湾话顺口一点嘛
952
00:58:20,466 --> 00:58:22,265
关帝面前十粒子弹
953
00:58:22,266 --> 00:58:24,865
再拜祝三天就可以射鬼了
954
00:58:24,866 --> 00:58:25,949
现在还没到时候
955
00:58:25,950 --> 00:58:28,632
先教你们大手印
956
00:58:29,916 --> 00:58:31,315
这个手印叫做
957
00:58:31,316 --> 00:58:36,465
波多波罗波耶波波耶希波
大手印
958
00:58:36,466 --> 00:58:39,515
哇,这么多波啊
959
00:58:39,516 --> 00:58:41,265
非你莫属耶
960
00:58:42,116 --> 00:58:44,265
会不会有简单一点的嘛
961
00:58:44,266 --> 00:58:46,349
英文的解释就是…
962
00:58:54,466 --> 00:58:57,032
什么逊哪
你讲国语好不好?
963
00:58:57,033 --> 00:58:59,232
最简单的就是慢身咒啊
964
00:58:59,233 --> 00:59:00,999
就是 SLOW MOTION
965
00:59:01,000 --> 00:59:02,665
一念一指
966
00:59:02,666 --> 00:59:04,199
无论上天下地
967
00:59:04,200 --> 00:59:06,832
尸身九魔诸般生界
968
00:59:06,833 --> 00:59:08,665
全都变成了 SLOW MOTION
969
00:59:08,666 --> 00:59:11,349
那么你们就有时间逃走了
970
00:59:11,350 --> 00:59:13,665
我画这道符示范给你们看
971
00:59:13,666 --> 00:59:16,232
你们自己轮流练到会爲止
972
00:59:16,233 --> 00:59:17,515
这道符有什么用啊?
973
00:59:17,516 --> 00:59:20,065
这道符跟符后面的人畜鬼兽
974
00:59:20,066 --> 00:59:22,715
在鬼的眼中都是隐形的
975
00:59:22,716 --> 00:59:26,149
就是用这道符挡住自己
那些鬼就看不到的了
976
00:59:26,150 --> 00:59:28,065
还是你聪明
977
00:59:28,066 --> 00:59:29,665
斩妖剑
978
00:59:29,666 --> 00:59:31,549
驱魔夺魂
979
00:59:31,550 --> 00:59:33,915
观音座前杨枝甘露水
980
00:59:33,916 --> 00:59:34,749
一人一枝
981
00:59:34,750 --> 00:59:37,349
遇到有事
含在嘴里用来喷那个鬼
982
00:59:37,350 --> 00:59:39,349
道家八卦密佛战袍
983
00:59:39,350 --> 00:59:40,999
道家养真杯
984
00:59:41,000 --> 00:59:44,149
道家挟魔红筷子
985
00:59:45,666 --> 00:59:47,349
道家的无敌捉妖纸
986
00:59:47,350 --> 00:59:50,265
不是
这是大陆出产的卫生纸
987
00:59:50,266 --> 00:59:51,632
我要先拉泡屎
988
00:59:51,633 --> 00:59:54,549
免得捉鬼的时候拉一裤子
989
00:59:56,716 --> 00:59:59,465
好糗喔
990
01:00:07,200 --> 01:00:10,065
臭道士
991
01:00:10,800 --> 01:00:12,915
妖气冲天
992
01:00:20,916 --> 01:00:23,515
来,每人拉一根线,四处搜索
993
01:00:23,516 --> 01:00:26,399
有事我就会立刻知道
好
994
01:00:26,400 --> 01:00:28,665
去吧
995
01:01:08,116 --> 01:01:10,115
全吞下去了
996
01:01:35,316 --> 01:01:38,349
妈啊
997
01:01:38,350 --> 01:01:41,399
不要,不要啊
998
01:01:41,400 --> 01:01:43,432
救命啊
999
01:01:44,000 --> 01:01:49,232
救命啊…
1000
01:01:49,233 --> 01:01:50,599
糟了,小歪出事了
1001
01:01:50,600 --> 01:01:51,115
糟了,小歪出事了
1002
01:02:44,233 --> 01:02:45,265
你喷我
1003
01:02:45,266 --> 01:02:46,549
不是喷你啦,我喷她啦
1004
01:02:46,716 --> 01:02:48,865
快走啊
1005
01:02:55,116 --> 01:02:56,915
什么事啦?
1006
01:03:08,750 --> 01:03:11,465
快点跑,快跑…
1007
01:03:12,950 --> 01:03:14,665
让开
1008
01:03:19,066 --> 01:03:20,915
妖孽,你明知打不过我
1009
01:03:20,916 --> 01:03:23,865
什么还纠不休?
1010
01:03:23,866 --> 01:03:25,115
你来到这里
1011
01:03:25,116 --> 01:03:27,232
谁能挡得了我们姥姥呢?
1012
01:03:27,233 --> 01:03:29,265
姥姥?
1013
01:03:29,266 --> 01:03:31,432
今晚大哥在联欢会讲笑话
1014
01:03:31,433 --> 01:03:34,865
难道说那个鬼姥姥跟鬼大哥
他们都去了啊?
1015
01:03:34,866 --> 01:03:38,149
会不会附在议员身上?
1016
01:03:38,150 --> 01:03:40,349
妖孽,你还想害人?
1017
01:03:51,866 --> 01:03:53,465
拿着
1018
01:03:54,200 --> 01:03:55,915
大功
1019
01:04:05,550 --> 01:04:07,799
把她的手分开
1020
01:04:20,400 --> 01:04:23,149
二妹,接住
1021
01:04:27,666 --> 01:04:29,315
拿着
1022
01:04:29,316 --> 01:04:31,749
这是两仪绳
能集中你们几个人的阳气
1023
01:04:31,750 --> 01:04:33,349
可以困住她
1024
01:04:33,350 --> 01:04:34,399
但是千万不能放手
1025
01:04:34,400 --> 01:04:36,999
一放手,她就会逃掉了
1026
01:04:37,000 --> 01:04:38,265
大师,你到哪儿去啊?
1027
01:04:38,266 --> 01:04:39,349
联欢会啊
1028
01:04:39,350 --> 01:04:42,832
我们中了调虎离山之计了
1029
01:04:48,000 --> 01:04:51,549
我们大家可千万不能放手
1030
01:04:58,150 --> 01:04:59,999
快把她拉起来
1031
01:05:15,550 --> 01:05:17,149
好恶心啊
1032
01:05:17,150 --> 01:05:19,832
姐,你当她是刘德华好了
1033
01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:23,915
这个刘德华的舌头黏答答的啦
1034
01:05:23,916 --> 01:05:25,915
你不要叫那么大声
1035
01:05:25,916 --> 01:05:29,399
刘德华舔你,你不偷笑才怪呢
1036
01:05:30,433 --> 01:05:33,832
还好我没胸部,她舔不到我
1037
01:05:36,116 --> 01:05:37,432
不要啊
1038
01:05:37,433 --> 01:05:41,349
我不想我的胸部遭殃
1039
01:05:41,350 --> 01:05:45,465
你不能松手
否则我们一起遭殃
1040
01:05:47,150 --> 01:05:49,465
妈啊
1041
01:05:53,666 --> 01:05:56,399
好大喔
1042
01:05:56,400 --> 01:05:59,065
惨了
1043
01:06:01,116 --> 01:06:04,232
接下来呢,我们请陈百龙警官
1044
01:06:08,833 --> 01:06:10,065
谢谢大家
1045
01:06:10,066 --> 01:06:12,865
终于轮到我陈百龙
要跟大家讲个笑话
1046
01:06:12,866 --> 01:06:15,265
今天要跟大家讲一个三级内容
1047
01:06:15,266 --> 01:06:17,749
一级的笑话
1048
01:06:17,750 --> 01:06:20,599
话说有两位老友,每天去喝酒
1049
01:06:20,600 --> 01:06:22,115
看看表呢,时间到了
1050
01:06:22,116 --> 01:06:24,465
于是两个相邀去喝酒
1051
01:06:24,466 --> 01:06:25,665
但是呢,一摸口袋
1052
01:06:25,666 --> 01:06:27,232
一个说我只有十块钱
1053
01:06:27,233 --> 01:06:28,999
另外一个说只有二十块钱
1054
01:06:29,000 --> 01:06:31,432
有没有搞错?
三十块钱就可以喝醉
1055
01:06:31,433 --> 01:06:33,715
其中一个说不要紧
把钱交给我
1056
01:06:33,716 --> 01:06:35,115
两个人走到超级市场
1057
01:06:35,116 --> 01:06:36,665
买了一条香肠
1058
01:06:36,666 --> 01:06:38,799
即刻走到酒吧
两个人就喝啊喝啊
1059
01:06:38,800 --> 01:06:40,065
喝到八成醉的时候
1060
01:06:40,066 --> 01:06:41,715
突然间有一个人拉开拉链
1061
01:06:41,716 --> 01:06:44,065
另外一个跪下来
立刻含住香肠
1062
01:06:44,066 --> 01:06:45,865
两人做出不雅的动作
1063
01:06:45,866 --> 01:06:48,799
于是老板气了就说啦
1064
01:06:48,800 --> 01:06:52,065
好小子居然敢在我的店里
做出下流的事情来
1065
01:06:52,066 --> 01:06:53,665
砰的一声,就把他们丢出去
1066
01:06:53,666 --> 01:06:55,599
这两个人就咯咯咯地笑了
1067
01:06:55,600 --> 01:06:57,465
于是就这样骗了一摊酒了
1068
01:06:57,466 --> 01:06:59,599
就这样子骗了八间酒吧
1069
01:06:59,600 --> 01:07:00,949
喝到第八间出来的时候
1070
01:07:00,950 --> 01:07:03,465
两个人已经醉醺醺
醉得不成样了
1071
01:07:03,466 --> 01:07:04,349
其中一个说
1072
01:07:04,350 --> 01:07:06,632
我今天太累了,含了一夜香肠
1073
01:07:06,633 --> 01:07:08,865
可是我们骗了八间酒吧
1074
01:07:08,866 --> 01:07:09,832
另一个就说了
1075
01:07:09,833 --> 01:07:11,232
你累,我比你更累
1076
01:07:11,233 --> 01:07:14,032
我在第二间的时候
香肠已经弄丢了
1077
01:07:14,033 --> 01:07:18,349
好啊
好笑…
1078
01:07:18,350 --> 01:07:20,465
现在宣布
其实大家都已经知道了
1079
01:07:20,466 --> 01:07:24,465
今天晚上三级笑话的冠军
就是陈百龙警官
1080
01:07:26,516 --> 01:07:30,432
现在我们就请
李议员跟议员颁奖
1081
01:08:02,350 --> 01:08:03,549
走走
1082
01:08:03,550 --> 01:08:04,349
走走
1083
01:08:04,350 --> 01:08:06,065
想跑?
1084
01:08:13,666 --> 01:08:15,832
就是他啊…
好了,没事了
1085
01:08:15,833 --> 01:08:18,148
让开啊让开
1086
01:08:25,200 --> 01:08:26,715
你没事吧?
1087
01:08:26,716 --> 01:08:29,032
没事
1088
01:08:29,033 --> 01:08:33,999
没事,只是脚有点凉凉的
1089
01:08:34,000 --> 01:08:35,398
阿龙
1090
01:08:35,399 --> 01:08:38,032
有件事情我一定要告诉你
1091
01:08:38,033 --> 01:08:39,632
你什么都不要讲了
1092
01:08:39,633 --> 01:08:41,232
我跟你无冤无仇的
1093
01:08:41,233 --> 01:08:42,665
你不可以害我
1094
01:08:42,666 --> 01:08:46,749
最多我可以烧
很多很多的纸钱给你啦
1095
01:08:46,750 --> 01:08:49,432
你…你知道我是鬼?
1096
01:08:49,433 --> 01:08:52,749
白痴都会知道啦
1097
01:08:53,600 --> 01:08:55,865
我跟他们三个不同
1098
01:08:55,866 --> 01:08:59,265
我是鬼,他们是妖
1099
01:08:59,266 --> 01:09:01,632
因我的尸骨被他们控制了
1100
01:09:01,633 --> 01:09:05,599
所以我要做他们的鬼奴
1101
01:09:05,600 --> 01:09:07,265
六十年前
1102
01:09:07,266 --> 01:09:11,432
我被一个
有道行的道士给收服了
1103
01:09:11,433 --> 01:09:13,832
放在一幅照片里面
1104
01:09:13,833 --> 01:09:16,465
如果你想完全消灭他们的话
1105
01:09:16,466 --> 01:09:18,115
一定要找出那张照片来
1106
01:09:18,116 --> 01:09:20,865
然后彻彻底底的
把那张照片给烧掉
1107
01:09:20,866 --> 01:09:23,432
你知不知道?
1108
01:09:23,433 --> 01:09:24,632
我九代单传啦
1109
01:09:24,633 --> 01:09:26,265
我家要靠我传宗接代
1110
01:09:26,266 --> 01:09:27,749
我老爸,我老妈
1111
01:09:27,750 --> 01:09:28,865
我老爸的干妈
1112
01:09:28,866 --> 01:09:30,232
我老妈的干爸爸
1113
01:09:30,233 --> 01:09:31,799
全部都要靠我养啦
1114
01:09:31,800 --> 01:09:33,232
我两个妹妹又是白痴
1115
01:09:33,233 --> 01:09:37,199
你做做好事,放过我啦
1116
01:09:37,950 --> 01:09:41,232
大姐,我先走了
1117
01:09:41,233 --> 01:09:43,665
你先在这里看风景啦
1118
01:09:43,666 --> 01:09:45,915
没多久,我们清明节见啦
1119
01:09:45,916 --> 01:09:47,232
不是,不是
1120
01:09:47,233 --> 01:09:49,032
圣诞节我寄圣诞卡给你啦
1121
01:09:49,033 --> 01:09:51,865
我要走了啦
1122
01:09:51,866 --> 01:09:53,949
你…你不要送我了
我先走了
1123
01:09:53,950 --> 01:09:56,349
拜拜
1124
01:10:01,950 --> 01:10:05,915
达令,你在哪里?
1125
01:10:05,916 --> 01:10:10,149
HONEY,我在这里
快来救我啊
1126
01:10:10,150 --> 01:10:12,149
小歪,小歪,你不能过去啊
1127
01:10:12,150 --> 01:10:13,999
小歪
1128
01:10:15,400 --> 01:10:16,799
小歪,不可以
1129
01:10:16,800 --> 01:10:19,115
小歪
1130
01:10:20,400 --> 01:10:22,865
你起来啊不能昏倒啊
1131
01:10:29,116 --> 01:10:30,715
现在怎么办?
1132
01:10:30,716 --> 01:10:32,315
快点,快用慢身咒啊
1133
01:10:32,316 --> 01:10:34,065
慢身咒…
1134
01:10:34,200 --> 01:10:36,865
慢身咒
1135
01:10:36,866 --> 01:10:38,715
快走吧,快逃
1136
01:10:39,066 --> 01:10:40,665
快点
1137
01:10:52,916 --> 01:10:55,399
怎么没人啊?
1138
01:10:55,400 --> 01:10:57,265
我是玉皇大帝
1139
01:10:57,266 --> 01:11:01,549
你们这班妖魔鬼怪快快离开
1140
01:11:01,550 --> 01:11:04,032
你是什么鬼?快报上名来
1141
01:11:04,033 --> 01:11:06,832
狗叔啊,是我啦,阿龙啦
1142
01:11:06,833 --> 01:11:08,665
放手啦…
1143
01:11:08,666 --> 01:11:10,665
他已经疯成这个样子了
你们都不管啊
1144
01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:12,032
我们下午要送他到精神病院
1145
01:11:12,033 --> 01:11:14,349
你们不要担心啊
1146
01:11:14,350 --> 01:11:15,715
我是如来佛租
1147
01:11:15,716 --> 01:11:16,949
你这个孙悟空
1148
01:11:16,950 --> 01:11:19,515
还不被我困在五指山下
1149
01:11:19,516 --> 01:11:20,999
我不是孙悟空啦
1150
01:11:21,000 --> 01:11:22,232
我是观世音菩萨
1151
01:11:22,233 --> 01:11:24,432
自己人啦,放手啦…
1152
01:11:24,433 --> 01:11:26,915
真的?
你真的不是孙悟空?
1153
01:11:26,916 --> 01:11:28,149
好,那就是白骨精了
1154
01:11:28,150 --> 01:11:30,232
我要三打白骨精
1155
01:11:31,716 --> 01:11:34,399
我把门踹开
好
1156
01:11:40,033 --> 01:11:41,665
你们这些牛鬼蛇神
1157
01:11:41,666 --> 01:11:45,032
在我消灭你们之前
一个也逃不掉的
1158
01:11:45,033 --> 01:11:46,832
你怎么样了?
1159
01:11:46,833 --> 01:11:49,199
喂医生啊
他怎么会疯成那个样子啦?
1160
01:11:49,200 --> 01:11:50,599
他的头受到重伤
1161
01:11:50,600 --> 01:11:52,599
我看要接受一段
很长的时间治疗
1162
01:11:52,600 --> 01:11:54,915
但是不一定治得好
1163
01:11:54,916 --> 01:11:56,549
大哥,那我们怎么办呢?
1164
01:11:56,550 --> 01:11:58,549
隔壁满屋子都是鬼啊
1165
01:11:58,550 --> 01:12:00,232
不要怕·我跟陈组长讲
1166
01:12:00,233 --> 01:12:02,349
我们放火烧那个房子
1167
01:12:02,350 --> 01:12:05,399
好了把它搬进去吧
是
1168
01:12:12,116 --> 01:12:13,632
你们白天进去的吗?
1169
01:12:13,633 --> 01:12:15,865
你以我是僵尸啊
夜才进去
1170
01:12:15,866 --> 01:12:18,232
白天当然躲起来罗
1171
01:12:18,233 --> 01:12:19,399
躲在那张相片里面
1172
01:12:19,400 --> 01:12:22,265
我们放火把它烧了
1173
01:12:22,266 --> 01:12:23,999
这里是警察局,我是警官
1174
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:28,199
你叫我去放火?
1175
01:12:28,200 --> 01:12:29,832
屋主张查理没有出境的纪录
1176
01:12:29,833 --> 01:12:31,065
应该还在香港
1177
01:12:31,066 --> 01:12:32,549
我们正在找他呢
1178
01:12:32,550 --> 01:12:35,199
鬼已经弄死他了啦
1179
01:12:35,200 --> 01:12:37,865
阿龙啊,你最近情太紧张
1180
01:12:37,866 --> 01:12:41,515
放下你的工作,休几天假
1181
01:12:45,000 --> 01:12:47,149
这一次摆不平
看样子要躲一躲了
1182
01:12:47,350 --> 01:12:48,465
那就是要跑路罗
1183
01:12:48,466 --> 01:12:51,232
是啊,给黑社会追可以报瞥
1184
01:12:51,233 --> 01:12:53,349
给鬼追
也不晓得找哪个单位报啦
1185
01:12:53,350 --> 01:12:54,799
那我们躲哪儿去呢?
1186
01:12:54,800 --> 01:12:55,832
澳门罗
1187
01:12:55,833 --> 01:12:56,749
不行,不行
1188
01:12:56,750 --> 01:12:58,865
太近了,很容易被追到
去泰国好了
1189
01:12:58,866 --> 01:13:00,549
那边到处神佛可以挡得住
1190
01:13:00,550 --> 01:13:01,999
回家拿护照啦
1191
01:13:02,000 --> 01:13:02,915
五点多天才会黑
1192
01:13:02,916 --> 01:13:04,315
我们现在赶快回去拿护照
1193
01:13:04,316 --> 01:13:06,865
也许鬼还没有出来
1194
01:13:14,666 --> 01:13:17,265
糟了,天快黑了啦
1195
01:13:17,266 --> 01:13:20,599
太阳还这么大
起码到了泰国才会天黑的啦
1196
01:13:24,800 --> 01:13:26,349
这么快就到泰国了?
1197
01:13:26,350 --> 01:13:27,549
我先去拿护照
1198
01:13:27,550 --> 01:13:29,149
走
1199
01:13:30,350 --> 01:13:32,399
有人在洗澡耶
1200
01:13:32,400 --> 01:13:34,265
谁?
1201
01:13:34,266 --> 01:13:37,599
非礼勿视,非礼勿听
1202
01:13:38,150 --> 01:13:43,999
我摸不到东西
1203
01:13:44,000 --> 01:13:45,915
我
1204
01:13:45,916 --> 01:13:49,999
我摸到东西了
1205
01:13:50,516 --> 01:13:51,749
2
糟了,龙哥出事了
1206
01:13:51,750 --> 01:13:53,915
你们留在这里
1207
01:13:56,033 --> 01:13:57,799
嗨
1208
01:13:57,800 --> 01:13:59,549
好久不见啊
1209
01:13:59,550 --> 01:14:02,149
最近都到哪里去混了?
1210
01:14:02,150 --> 01:14:04,599
我啊,十八层地狱啊
1211
01:14:04,600 --> 01:14:06,599
今天晚上打麻将啊,三缺一
1212
01:14:06,600 --> 01:14:08,465
你一块儿来吧
1213
01:14:08,466 --> 01:14:13,315
我已经约人了,拜拜
1214
01:14:13,316 --> 01:14:14,632
朋友一场
1215
01:14:14,633 --> 01:14:16,432
我想向你借点钱
1216
01:14:16,433 --> 01:14:18,915
没有关系统统拿去啦
1217
01:14:18,916 --> 01:14:21,632
够不够?
1218
01:14:22,466 --> 01:14:23,999
不是这一些
1219
01:14:24,000 --> 01:14:27,115
我想向你借点血
1220
01:14:31,350 --> 01:14:33,599
哈他痒…他最怕痒了
1221
01:14:33,600 --> 01:14:35,549
哈他啊
1222
01:14:35,550 --> 01:14:37,199
快走
1223
01:14:51,266 --> 01:14:53,465
慢身咒
1224
01:15:03,666 --> 01:15:06,199
还有什么本事?
1225
01:15:06,800 --> 01:15:08,749
我真不明白
小倩怎么会喜欢你呢?
1226
01:15:08,750 --> 01:15:11,715
看你这德性
口臭,人贱,猪哥样
1227
01:15:11,716 --> 01:15:14,865
鹰鼻,眼
兔嘴,猴腮,八字脚
1228
01:15:14,866 --> 01:15:17,399
不知道你妈怎么生你的?
1229
01:15:17,400 --> 01:15:18,665
你骂够了没有?
1230
01:15:18,666 --> 01:15:21,465
骂你怎么样?
我还要你的命
1231
01:15:25,833 --> 01:15:28,315
大哥
这是什么东西啊?
1232
01:15:35,433 --> 01:15:38,665
隐身符
1233
01:15:57,433 --> 01:16:00,665
姐,那一边
好,到那边,走
1234
01:16:24,866 --> 01:16:26,232
很好笑吗?
1235
01:16:26,233 --> 01:16:31,032
当然好笑了
那个呆子婆看不到我…
1236
01:16:42,316 --> 01:16:44,265
你们太过分了
把我放在外面
1237
01:16:44,266 --> 01:16:47,349
这里只能站三个人嘛
我站中间
1238
01:16:49,033 --> 01:16:51,265
哥,你干什么
你们是故意要害死我是不是?
1239
01:16:51,266 --> 01:16:52,865
好,那我去死好了
过去一点啦
1240
01:16:52,866 --> 01:16:55,149
我去死
哥,哥
1241
01:16:55,150 --> 01:16:56,265
回来啦
龙哥
1242
01:16:56,266 --> 01:16:58,399
不行啦,哥,你怎么可以这样
这样玩我好了
1243
01:16:58,400 --> 01:17:01,349
好了,挤得下…
不要吵…挤得下
1244
01:17:04,116 --> 01:17:05,915
挤得下,挤得下了
1245
01:17:05,916 --> 01:17:06,832
冷静点
1246
01:17:06,833 --> 01:17:09,349
万一被她发现,那我们就惨了
1247
01:17:09,350 --> 01:17:10,665
四个人刚刚好
1248
01:17:10,666 --> 01:17:14,115
挤一挤就没有事了
千万不要动喔
1249
01:17:16,233 --> 01:17:17,799
挤得下
1250
01:17:17,800 --> 01:17:20,665
冷静点,冷静点
1251
01:17:22,633 --> 01:17:25,832
哥,怎么了?
我的屁股好凉
1252
01:17:26,750 --> 01:17:27,915
惨了惨了
怎么样了?
1253
01:17:27,916 --> 01:17:29,599
我看看
破了一个大洞啊
1254
01:17:29,600 --> 01:17:32,432
好大的洞啊
看什么看,有什么好看的?
1255
01:17:34,833 --> 01:17:37,799
糟了她看见我们了
1256
01:17:43,066 --> 01:17:44,599
阿龙,她真的发现我们了
1257
01:17:44,600 --> 01:17:46,865
大哥现在怎么办呢?
快走啊
1258
01:17:46,866 --> 01:17:48,515
走哪边?
走这边
1259
01:17:48,516 --> 01:17:52,232
走这边啦...
走这一边啦
1260
01:17:58,750 --> 01:18:00,149
甘露水
1261
01:18:02,716 --> 01:18:05,399
又上来做什么?
找张纸再画道符啊
1262
01:18:05,400 --> 01:18:10,149
对
护身符有没有那么大的
1263
01:18:10,150 --> 01:18:11,549
妹妹,这些可以吗?
1264
01:18:11,550 --> 01:18:14,399
这就最大了吗?
是啊
1265
01:18:14,400 --> 01:18:16,632
灶王爷
1266
01:18:28,350 --> 01:18:30,632
你以宝剑我会怕吗?
1267
01:18:32,866 --> 01:18:36,315
灶王爷你要保佑我
你要保佑我
1268
01:18:39,266 --> 01:18:42,065
灶王爷到
1269
01:18:47,033 --> 01:18:50,665
对不起啊
你跟灶王爷说啦
1270
01:18:56,233 --> 01:19:00,032
太好了…快走
1271
01:19:12,150 --> 01:19:14,432
臭ㄚ头
1272
01:19:17,000 --> 01:19:19,632
剑指,用剑指啊
又是我啊
1273
01:19:23,200 --> 01:19:26,265
我不跟你玩了啦
哪里走?
1274
01:19:39,200 --> 01:19:41,149
怎么了?
1275
01:19:41,150 --> 01:19:42,999
快走啊
1276
01:19:56,916 --> 01:19:59,115
小倩,救命啊
1277
01:19:59,116 --> 01:20:01,399
我有惧高症哪
1278
01:20:01,400 --> 01:20:03,349
小倩
1279
01:20:10,150 --> 01:20:11,715
快点走啊姥姥就要来了
1280
01:20:11,716 --> 01:20:13,865
二妹他们呢?
快走
1281
01:20:16,716 --> 01:20:19,915
三妹,三妹啊
1282
01:20:21,000 --> 01:20:22,999
二妹呢?
1283
01:20:23,000 --> 01:20:24,265
被色情鬼抓走了
1284
01:20:24,266 --> 01:20:29,199
救命啊
1285
01:20:29,200 --> 01:20:30,065
你们快点走吧
1286
01:20:30,066 --> 01:20:31,549
我们快点去拿法宝
回来救三妹
1287
01:20:31,550 --> 01:20:33,865
快走,快
1288
01:20:39,600 --> 01:20:41,949
小倩呢?
1289
01:20:49,433 --> 01:20:51,315
大哥,快开车啦
我们先走了啦
1290
01:20:51,316 --> 01:20:53,399
小倩啊
快点啦
1291
01:21:04,750 --> 01:21:07,432
你们不要管我了,快点走
1292
01:21:14,066 --> 01:21:17,715
死ㄚ头,回去再修理你
1293
01:21:20,950 --> 01:21:21,999
狗叔说过
1294
01:21:22,000 --> 01:21:23,999
这些子弹拜了
三天三夜关帝爷之后
1295
01:21:24,000 --> 01:21:26,599
就可以拿来射鬼了
1296
01:21:27,916 --> 01:21:30,315
观世音座前的杨枝甘露水
1297
01:21:30,316 --> 01:21:33,315
吕大人,借宝剑一用
1298
01:21:33,916 --> 01:21:37,432
大仙大仙,借大仙袍一用
1299
01:21:41,600 --> 01:21:43,549
连他都拜,难怪那么能打
1300
01:21:43,550 --> 01:21:45,665
大哥啊
我再教你一个慢身大手印
1301
01:21:45,666 --> 01:21:47,832
一指他就会 SLOW MOTION
1302
01:21:47,833 --> 01:21:49,349
好啊
1303
01:22:01,150 --> 01:22:03,349
大哥不能退缩了
我们无路可走
1304
01:22:03,350 --> 01:22:05,115
别忘了二姐跟小倩还在里头呢
1305
01:22:05,116 --> 01:22:07,065
快啊
1306
01:22:14,833 --> 01:22:15,799
你这个混蛋
1307
01:22:15,800 --> 01:22:17,549
活着风流,死了还害人
1308
01:22:17,550 --> 01:22:21,349
是又怎么样?
我喜欢
1309
01:22:26,316 --> 01:22:27,515
白痴
1310
01:22:27,516 --> 01:22:29,149
开枪
1311
01:22:29,150 --> 01:22:31,349
杨枝甘露水
1312
01:22:54,466 --> 01:22:58,232
死人头啊
你死了还这么好色啊
1313
01:22:58,233 --> 01:23:01,399
找出照片就把它烧了
1314
01:23:33,066 --> 01:23:35,665
惨了,帽子掉了
1315
01:24:20,150 --> 01:24:21,399
让开
1316
01:24:21,400 --> 01:24:23,149
让我射死他
1317
01:24:28,150 --> 01:24:30,199
怎么了?
灭魔子弹也杀不了他啊?
1318
01:24:30,200 --> 01:24:31,915
不是
1319
01:24:31,916 --> 01:24:34,349
我不懂有些人爲什么
可以戴着太阳眼镜开枪
1320
01:24:34,350 --> 01:24:36,515
我根本看不见
1321
01:24:36,516 --> 01:24:39,115
别跑,别跑
1322
01:25:16,433 --> 01:25:18,515
快啊,快去
1323
01:25:18,516 --> 01:25:22,399
去咬他,快
1324
01:25:41,866 --> 01:25:43,149
大恩公啊
1325
01:25:43,150 --> 01:25:46,149
救命,救命啊
1326
01:25:47,066 --> 01:25:48,515
这么刁钻
1327
01:25:48,516 --> 01:25:52,315
我看你有耐性
还是我有耐性?
1328
01:26:00,550 --> 01:26:01,715
慢身咒
1329
01:26:01,716 --> 01:26:03,749
我嘿
1330
01:26:09,000 --> 01:26:11,065
我嘿
1331
01:26:13,466 --> 01:26:15,315
我嘿
1332
01:26:17,666 --> 01:26:19,999
我嘿
1333
01:26:24,916 --> 01:26:25,799
真灵
1334
01:26:25,800 --> 01:26:28,799
如果用在赌马那我就发了
1335
01:26:28,800 --> 01:26:30,665
我嘿
1336
01:26:32,716 --> 01:26:36,549
镜…子…啊
1337
01:26:36,550 --> 01:26:42,032
糟…糕…了
1338
01:26:42,633 --> 01:26:53,832
这次…完…蛋
1339
01:27:07,516 --> 01:27:11,315
救…命…啊
1340
01:27:23,950 --> 01:27:24,865
哥
1341
01:27:24,866 --> 01:27:26,715
你没事了吧?
1342
01:27:26,716 --> 01:27:28,399
你一剑万一刺死我怎么办?
1343
01:27:28,400 --> 01:27:29,149
不会的啦
1344
01:27:29,150 --> 01:27:31,149
我叫他隔着那道门
闻闻最臭的地方
1345
01:27:31,150 --> 01:27:32,915
一定就是你的腋窝啦
1346
01:27:32,916 --> 01:27:34,949
乱讲,小倩跟二呢?
1347
01:27:34,950 --> 01:27:37,199
在这里
1348
01:27:46,600 --> 01:27:47,832
你放了她们
1349
01:27:47,833 --> 01:27:49,865
有本事你就进来啊
1350
01:27:49,866 --> 01:27:51,349
我怎么进来?
1351
01:27:51,350 --> 01:27:53,199
向前走三步
1352
01:27:53,200 --> 01:27:54,515
不要啊,你不要进来
1353
01:27:54,516 --> 01:27:56,265
你进来就永远都出不去了
1354
01:27:56,266 --> 01:27:58,199
不要啊
1355
01:27:58,200 --> 01:28:00,549
阿龙
1356
01:28:04,150 --> 01:28:06,599
大哥
1357
01:28:27,600 --> 01:28:29,232
李小龙
1358
01:28:29,233 --> 01:28:31,915
你没想到狗叔连这种神都拜吧
1359
01:28:31,916 --> 01:28:35,265
我连他的衣服都穿来了啦
1360
01:28:49,866 --> 01:28:51,865
好棒啊,大哥
1361
01:29:00,516 --> 01:29:01,915
怎么样?
1362
01:29:01,916 --> 01:29:04,149
你还玩
1363
01:29:07,400 --> 01:29:09,915
不玩了行不行?
行
1364
01:29:15,066 --> 01:29:19,599
大哥,你的手变成白色了
1365
01:29:19,600 --> 01:29:20,915
你快想想办法吧
1366
01:29:20,916 --> 01:29:22,599
要是等你全身都变成黑白的
1367
01:29:22,600 --> 01:29:24,149
你就永远都走不出去了啊
1368
01:29:24,150 --> 01:29:26,549
你快走啊
1369
01:29:34,150 --> 01:29:35,515
想动
1370
01:29:35,516 --> 01:29:37,149
这是黑白世界
1371
01:29:37,150 --> 01:29:40,632
凡是黑白的东西都属于我的
1372
01:29:52,666 --> 01:29:54,665
一你不要那么缺德
1373
01:29:59,950 --> 01:30:02,349
等一下,等一下
1374
01:30:03,633 --> 01:30:06,199
不要啦,不要啦
1375
01:30:09,066 --> 01:30:12,999
不要啦…
1376
01:30:17,516 --> 01:30:19,065
我右手挡到了
1377
01:30:19,066 --> 01:30:21,865
哥,还是你聪明耶
1378
01:30:30,716 --> 01:30:32,599
不可以啦
1379
01:30:33,150 --> 01:30:36,265
不可以啦
1380
01:30:36,266 --> 01:30:38,065
大哥,你不可以这样
1381
01:30:38,066 --> 01:30:39,599
我是你的妹妹啊
1382
01:30:39,600 --> 01:30:43,515
我也不想啦
大哥,不要这样
1383
01:30:43,516 --> 01:30:45,065
好大的吸力啦
1384
01:30:45,066 --> 01:30:48,232
我情愿抓鄮裕的
也不愿意抓你的
1385
01:30:48,233 --> 01:30:51,465
想尽办法制止我啦
好
1386
01:30:55,916 --> 01:30:59,065
对不起喔,大哥
1387
01:30:59,066 --> 01:31:02,665
贞操保住了
1388
01:31:07,116 --> 01:31:08,265
不要
1389
01:31:08,266 --> 01:31:11,265
没关系啊大哥
反正你已经想很久了
1390
01:31:11,266 --> 01:31:13,465
在黑白世界里面
你是不能够碰我的
1391
01:31:13,466 --> 01:31:15,549
如果碰到我
你就会化爲鸟有了
1392
01:31:15,550 --> 01:31:17,715
不要啊
那怎么办啊?
1393
01:31:17,716 --> 01:31:19,799
我用别的办法帮你吧
1394
01:31:19,800 --> 01:31:22,115
别的办法
1395
01:31:26,666 --> 01:31:29,265
对不起喔,我也是了你好
1396
01:31:29,266 --> 01:31:32,915
大哥,你两只手都变成白色了
1397
01:31:34,000 --> 01:31:36,399
蝙蝠侠
1398
01:31:36,400 --> 01:31:37,949
那么坚强
1399
01:31:37,950 --> 01:31:41,515
我倒要看看是你强
还是柱子强?
1400
01:31:54,516 --> 01:31:58,115
大哥,你全身都变白了
1401
01:31:59,266 --> 01:32:01,115
灭魔子弹
1402
01:32:01,116 --> 01:32:04,799
你知不知道自己变成魔鬼了
1403
01:32:05,350 --> 01:32:08,832
射
1404
01:32:10,116 --> 01:32:12,065
射
1405
01:32:16,950 --> 01:32:20,149
还好啦
我的脖子还没颜色啦
1406
01:32:20,150 --> 01:32:22,465
你没有看见吗?
1407
01:32:22,466 --> 01:32:25,915
我还有一个头在这里呢
1408
01:32:25,916 --> 01:32:27,232
你死定了
1409
01:32:27,516 --> 01:32:31,665
就算是我死,你也活不了的
1410
01:32:31,666 --> 01:32:36,149
我们要同归于尽的
1411
01:32:42,833 --> 01:32:45,149
可惜你先死了
1412
01:32:51,200 --> 01:32:53,599
大哥
你只顾爱情不顾亲情啊
1413
01:32:53,600 --> 01:32:57,115
长嫂如母
我帮她解完就帮你解啦
1414
01:32:58,066 --> 01:32:59,999
我才不愿意认她作大嫂呢
1415
01:33:00,000 --> 01:33:02,315
她是鬼耶
1416
01:33:03,833 --> 01:33:06,832
牙膏
1417
01:33:07,516 --> 01:33:10,432
糟了,现在已经来不及了
1418
01:33:10,433 --> 01:33:11,949
如果你连牙齿都变黑的话
1419
01:33:11,950 --> 01:33:13,865
你就永远都出不去了
1420
01:33:13,866 --> 01:33:16,349
那怎么办?
1421
01:33:16,350 --> 01:33:18,749
把手伸出来
1422
01:33:29,916 --> 01:33:31,515
正常了
你没事了
1423
01:33:31,516 --> 01:33:33,399
小倩,你怎么会变这样子?
1424
01:33:33,400 --> 01:33:35,915
没时间了你快走啊
1425
01:33:35,916 --> 01:33:39,432
小倩,我不走啦…
哥,快走吧…
1426
01:33:41,433 --> 01:33:42,265
二姐
1427
01:33:42,266 --> 01:33:43,515
小倩
1428
01:33:43,516 --> 01:33:45,199
小倩...
阿龙
1429
01:33:45,200 --> 01:33:48,149
我的骨灰在这里
你帮我葬了吧
1430
01:33:48,150 --> 01:33:49,865
接着
1431
01:33:53,833 --> 01:33:58,032
小倩,希望你能够转世投胎
1432
01:34:14,266 --> 01:34:15,915
我相信我这一辈子
1433
01:34:15,916 --> 01:34:18,799
不会再爱第二个女人了
1434
01:34:20,716 --> 01:34:21,232
你拿着啦
1435
01:34:21,233 --> 01:34:22,799
你刚才说
你不会再爱第二个女人的
1436
01:34:22,800 --> 01:34:25,232
说归说,做归做啦
1437
01:34:25,233 --> 01:34:28,199
小姐小姐你好面熟耶
1438
01:34:29,150 --> 01:34:30,915
是吗?
1439
01:34:36,633 --> 01:34:41,632
本片结束
1440
01:34:41,633 --> 01:34:46,632
制组
谢谢收看
92108
