Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:03,003
♪ dramatic theme playing ♪
2
00:00:03,003 --> 00:00:07,007
♪
3
00:00:07,007 --> 00:00:08,342
♪ gentle music playing ♪
4
00:00:08,717 --> 00:00:10,511
Aw, man, Hamsterdam?
5
00:00:10,511 --> 00:00:12,346
Oh, shit!
You owe me a million dollars
6
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,223
because there's a bunch
of Dutch Hamsters who live there.
7
00:00:14,223 --> 00:00:16,475
How the fuck are you winning
in Monopoly: The Wire Edition
8
00:00:16,475 --> 00:00:17,809
when you've never watched the show?
9
00:00:17,809 --> 00:00:19,436
Why don't you bitch
at your pewter McNutty,
10
00:00:19,436 --> 00:00:21,271
that's what keeps landing you
on shitty spots.
11
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:22,564
Come on, gimme an eight,
12
00:00:22,564 --> 00:00:24,942
get me to that bar where
the dock workers drank eggs.
13
00:00:25,526 --> 00:00:27,611
Double dang it! Hamsterdam again?
14
00:00:27,611 --> 00:00:29,696
Welcome to hell, Jessica! Ha ha ha ha!
15
00:00:29,696 --> 00:00:30,989
Now pay up, you little delinquent!
16
00:00:30,989 --> 00:00:33,825
But I don't have any money left! Argh!
17
00:00:33,825 --> 00:00:37,371
I hate this stupid game.
There's too much pressure!
18
00:00:37,829 --> 00:00:39,456
[coughs, gags]
19
00:00:39,456 --> 00:00:40,207
[both gasp]
20
00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:42,876
[thuds]
21
00:00:42,876 --> 00:00:45,587
[all gasp]
Is that a White Goobler?
22
00:00:45,587 --> 00:00:47,005
This is a huge development.
23
00:00:47,256 --> 00:00:49,716
I'm about to win a board game
for the first time ever.
24
00:00:50,551 --> 00:00:53,178
KORVO:
Planet Shlorp was a perfect utopia,
25
00:00:53,178 --> 00:00:55,138
until the asteroid hit.
26
00:00:55,681 --> 00:00:58,308
One hundred adults and their replicants
were issued a Pupa
27
00:00:58,308 --> 00:01:00,018
and escaped into the... space,
28
00:01:00,018 --> 00:01:02,729
searching for new homes
on uninhabited worlds.
29
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:03,939
We crashed on Earth,
30
00:01:03,939 --> 00:01:05,983
stranding us on an already
overpopulated planet.
31
00:01:05,983 --> 00:01:07,901
That's right,
I've been talking this whole time.
32
00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,152
I'm the one holding the Pupa.
33
00:01:09,152 --> 00:01:10,904
My name is Korvo.
This is my show.
34
00:01:10,904 --> 00:01:12,239
Bollocks, I just dropped the Pupa.
35
00:01:12,239 --> 00:01:14,366
Ugh. This is ridiculous.
I hate Earth.
36
00:01:14,366 --> 00:01:15,409
It's a horrible home.
37
00:01:15,409 --> 00:01:16,994
People are stupid and confusing.
38
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,579
They have a restaurant called Applebee's,
39
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,039
and they don't call
their appetizers apple-tizers.
40
00:01:21,039 --> 00:01:22,165
That's bullshit!
41
00:01:22,165 --> 00:01:25,294
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
42
00:01:27,963 --> 00:01:28,714
[goobler moans]
43
00:01:28,714 --> 00:01:31,300
Dear God, how did you cough up
such a gross goobler?
44
00:01:31,300 --> 00:01:32,968
I didn't even know
we could make white ones.
45
00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:34,803
It's the same size
as the Red Goobler was.
46
00:01:34,803 --> 00:01:36,930
Wait a minute, are you going
to say "get fucked"
47
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:38,182
and try to kill us?
48
00:01:38,182 --> 00:01:40,684
Oh, no, I don't want
to be a burden, you know?
49
00:01:40,684 --> 00:01:42,186
I can't be a teen mom.
50
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,979
I don't even have a neck tattoo!
51
00:01:43,979 --> 00:01:45,063
This doesn't make any sense.
52
00:01:45,063 --> 00:01:47,024
Why would Jesse and I
make off-color gooblers
53
00:01:47,024 --> 00:01:47,900
and not you two?
54
00:01:47,900 --> 00:01:49,359
Because we're superior in every--
55
00:01:49,359 --> 00:01:50,903
Oh, shit, wait a minute.
56
00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,613
[goobler grumbles]
57
00:01:53,614 --> 00:01:56,825
Totally forgot that I coughed up
a lavender goobler last week.
58
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:58,327
- Was I supposed to report that?
- Yes!
59
00:01:58,327 --> 00:02:00,537
My Red Goobler is still out there
plotting to kill me.
60
00:02:00,537 --> 00:02:01,830
These things could be dangerous!
61
00:02:01,830 --> 00:02:03,624
Hm, doesn't seem dangerous.
62
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:06,126
Oh, yeah, yeah, that's it right there.
63
00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:07,836
Give it to me. Papa like.
64
00:02:07,836 --> 00:02:10,088
This must be a Romance Goobler,
65
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,673
because I'm such a romantic and shit.
66
00:02:11,673 --> 00:02:13,634
That's a freaky little
shithead horny goobler,
67
00:02:13,634 --> 00:02:14,468
and you fucking know it.
68
00:02:14,468 --> 00:02:17,262
So we all have new gooblers
except Terry?
69
00:02:17,262 --> 00:02:18,388
How does that make sense?
70
00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,391
We're, uh, supposed
to report weird gooblers, huh?
71
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,185
Don't tell me you coughed one up too!
72
00:02:23,185 --> 00:02:24,061
I did not.
73
00:02:24,061 --> 00:02:25,521
Well, thank our Shlorpian gods--
74
00:02:25,521 --> 00:02:27,439
- I made five.
- What?
75
00:02:27,439 --> 00:02:29,441
Terry's gooblers, sound off!
76
00:02:29,441 --> 00:02:32,194
- Klepto Goobler.
- Criterion Disk Goobler.
77
00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:34,029
[groans] Envy Goobler.
78
00:02:34,029 --> 00:02:35,155
Babe-yyyy Goobler
79
00:02:35,155 --> 00:02:37,950
'cause Terry loves saying
"babe-yyy," babe-yyy.
80
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:38,992
Kimmy Goobler.
81
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,953
I re-watched all
of Full House three times
82
00:02:40,953 --> 00:02:42,412
and then barfed that little chiclet up.
83
00:02:42,412 --> 00:02:43,247
Geez, guys.
84
00:02:43,247 --> 00:02:45,624
Why are we making all these
colorful goobs right now?
85
00:02:45,624 --> 00:02:47,292
Well, that's a dumb question, Jessica.
86
00:02:47,292 --> 00:02:49,753
You're acting like you don't know anything
about Shlorpian anatomy.
87
00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,548
Obviously, every 100,000 times
we stress out and goobler,
88
00:02:52,548 --> 00:02:53,924
one big red one shows up.
89
00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:55,050
But, none of these are red.
90
00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,885
Alright, fine, I don't know
what the fuck is going on either.
91
00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,012
Everyone grab your gooblers
and let's go ask AISHA.
92
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:00,806
Fucking hate it when we have
to go ask the ship stuff,
93
00:03:00,806 --> 00:03:02,266
makes us look like such dummies.
94
00:03:02,266 --> 00:03:03,559
LAVENDER GOOBLER:
[grunts] Ooh, yeah.
95
00:03:03,559 --> 00:03:04,977
♪ ethereal music playing ♪
96
00:03:05,352 --> 00:03:07,729
Pupa! How do you keep getting
your paws on Starbursts?
97
00:03:07,729 --> 00:03:10,315
You know those kiwi banana ones
give you the Tron nightmares.
98
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,942
Have you ever thought that,
like, instead of indulging
99
00:03:11,942 --> 00:03:14,236
in these long, needlessly
complicated schemes
100
00:03:14,236 --> 00:03:15,904
to get candy or Harry Potter whistles,
101
00:03:15,904 --> 00:03:17,823
that maybe you could use
that big-ass Pupa brain
102
00:03:17,823 --> 00:03:19,157
to make the world a better place?
103
00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,118
Yeah, Pupa, the satisfaction you get
104
00:03:21,118 --> 00:03:24,288
from making the world a better place
would taste way better
105
00:03:24,288 --> 00:03:26,206
than any old Starbursts.
106
00:03:26,957 --> 00:03:27,833
AISHA:
Alright, dummies,
107
00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:30,169
get ready to learn
some Shlorpian 101.
108
00:03:30,169 --> 00:03:33,755
[projector ticking]
[countdown beeping]
109
00:03:34,590 --> 00:03:36,341
SHLORPIAN NARRATOR:
The Shlorpian body is designed
110
00:03:36,341 --> 00:03:39,970
to remove excess emotional buildup
by emitting gooblers:
111
00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:41,263
small, dancing creatures
112
00:03:41,263 --> 00:03:44,600
which hold your unwanted chemicals
in their bellies.
113
00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:46,101
The gooblers are emitted
114
00:03:46,101 --> 00:03:48,562
and then will dance
their adorable little jig
115
00:03:48,562 --> 00:03:49,563
until they die.
116
00:03:49,563 --> 00:03:52,816
However, if a Shlorpian has
too many negative emotions,
117
00:03:52,816 --> 00:03:56,570
the Goobler system will produce
a Super Goobler.
118
00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,947
Larger, meaner, smarter:
119
00:03:58,947 --> 00:04:01,992
the Super Goobler is designed
to eliminate the Shlorpian
120
00:04:01,992 --> 00:04:03,535
with emotional problems,
121
00:04:03,535 --> 00:04:05,579
removing them from the terraforming team,
122
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,331
ultimately protecting the mission.
123
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,457
Get fucked!
124
00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,584
SHLORPIAN NARRATOR:
If you make a Super Goobler,
125
00:04:10,584 --> 00:04:12,586
it's best to allow it to kill you
126
00:04:12,586 --> 00:04:16,423
so the rest of your team
can dine on your body for nutrients.
127
00:04:17,174 --> 00:04:20,636
Wait, so all of these little guys
are gonna grow up to kill us?
128
00:04:20,636 --> 00:04:22,804
Well, that can't be right.
Mine was a stress goobler.
129
00:04:22,804 --> 00:04:24,056
These are all too nice.
130
00:04:24,056 --> 00:04:26,683
When I get bigger,
I'm gonna fuck you up, babe-yyy!
131
00:04:26,683 --> 00:04:28,060
[all goobers clamoring]
132
00:04:28,060 --> 00:04:29,061
Gooble.
133
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:30,979
[Solars scream]
134
00:04:31,438 --> 00:04:33,649
Those Super Gooblers are creepy as fuck.
135
00:04:33,649 --> 00:04:34,483
We gotta do something.
136
00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:37,069
I kinda wanna figure out
what my goobler even is
137
00:04:37,069 --> 00:04:38,487
before we do anything.
138
00:04:38,487 --> 00:04:40,531
What emotion was I having too much of?
139
00:04:40,531 --> 00:04:43,075
Being a ray of sunshine on a cloudy day?
140
00:04:43,075 --> 00:04:45,786
Th-this is probably a bad pitch,
but maybe it'll get us going.
141
00:04:45,786 --> 00:04:48,038
What about if we throw them
in the dumpster behind Pizza Hut?
142
00:04:48,038 --> 00:04:49,540
Okay, that's the plan to beat.
143
00:04:49,540 --> 00:04:50,332
Yes!
144
00:04:50,332 --> 00:04:52,209
Building off of what
Yumyulack just said,
145
00:04:52,209 --> 00:04:53,961
we should put them in garbage bags
146
00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,213
before we throw them in the dumpster
behind Pizza Hut.
147
00:04:56,213 --> 00:04:59,174
Hmm, I'm liking this area a lot.
Now get to grabbing.
148
00:04:59,174 --> 00:05:01,802
I want to have them in that dumpster
before they start stabbing us.
149
00:05:01,802 --> 00:05:05,597
[gooblers clamoring, screaming]
150
00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,266
[gooblers thudding]
151
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:09,351
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
152
00:05:09,351 --> 00:05:12,187
Ah! Don't put me in the bag!
Sweet cheese!
153
00:05:12,187 --> 00:05:13,772
Oh, little Kimmy.
154
00:05:13,772 --> 00:05:16,358
Korvo, stop! I changed my mind!
I can't kill my gooblers.
155
00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:17,192
What? Why not?
156
00:05:17,192 --> 00:05:18,569
Because they're like
my children, dammit,
157
00:05:18,569 --> 00:05:19,570
and they're so cute
158
00:05:19,570 --> 00:05:20,988
and they aren't trying
to murder anyone yet!
159
00:05:20,988 --> 00:05:21,989
They will soon enough!
160
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,408
Ah, I don't want to kill mine either.
161
00:05:24,408 --> 00:05:26,285
Just look at that pelvic definition.
162
00:05:26,285 --> 00:05:28,954
You know, maybe some of them
can turn their lives around
163
00:05:28,954 --> 00:05:30,289
with a little love and attention.
164
00:05:30,289 --> 00:05:31,623
The crystal just fucking told us
165
00:05:31,623 --> 00:05:34,084
if we don't do something, they'll grow up
and then kill our asses.
166
00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:36,295
Death by goobler
is such a lowbrow way to die.
167
00:05:36,295 --> 00:05:39,548
Light bulb, we can ship them off
to Kaley Cuoco's Rancho Cuocomonga
168
00:05:39,548 --> 00:05:41,466
for Miscellaneous Beasts
and Where to Abandon Them.
169
00:05:41,466 --> 00:05:43,385
Making something stupid up
won't help, Terry.
170
00:05:43,385 --> 00:05:45,095
I know, but this time
I'm telling the truth.
171
00:05:45,095 --> 00:05:48,348
It's a no-kill rescue ranch
owned by Priceline's Kaley Cuoco.
172
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,225
It's where I've been sending
all of Yumyulack's snakes.
173
00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:51,059
They're alive?
174
00:05:51,059 --> 00:05:52,519
You told me you were
chopping off their heads
175
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:55,022
and leaving them on the sidewalk
as a warning to other snakes.
176
00:05:55,022 --> 00:05:56,106
That's such great news!
177
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:57,900
Terry, ya fucking nailed it.
This is the plan.
178
00:05:57,900 --> 00:05:59,776
Everyone, pack your shit
and meet me at the car.
179
00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:01,945
- It's time for the--
- Wait, wait, wait! Can I say it? Please!
180
00:06:01,945 --> 00:06:03,447
Please can I say it? Please?
181
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:05,782
- Korvo, please!
- Sure, my guy. Go for it.
182
00:06:05,782 --> 00:06:09,036
The Solar Opposites
are going on a road trip!
183
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,662
Yeah, babe-yyy!
184
00:06:10,662 --> 00:06:11,872
[horn honking]
185
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,417
All aboard the Terry's Super Famous
Almost Famous Bus!
186
00:06:15,417 --> 00:06:18,545
Fasten your seatbelts 'cause
Daddy Terry tricked out this bus
187
00:06:18,545 --> 00:06:21,673
in the theme of his favorite
road trip movie, Speed!
188
00:06:21,673 --> 00:06:23,926
If we go under 50, we explode!
189
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:27,095
Remember? Remember Dennis Hopper's
got that little fucked-up hand?
190
00:06:27,095 --> 00:06:28,222
[explosion booms]
191
00:06:28,222 --> 00:06:29,765
[metal clattering]
192
00:06:30,182 --> 00:06:31,225
[horn honks]
193
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,227
Okay, this time Daddy got us
a regular bus
194
00:06:33,227 --> 00:06:35,395
with almost no bombs, babe-yyy!!
195
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,022
Yeah, babe-yyy!
196
00:06:38,023 --> 00:06:40,275
♪ rock music playing ♪
197
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,320
♪
198
00:06:43,320 --> 00:06:44,238
[woman screams]
199
00:06:44,238 --> 00:06:46,156
[engine revving]
200
00:06:46,156 --> 00:06:49,284
♪
201
00:06:58,168 --> 00:06:59,086
[plasma gun fires]
202
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,880
[Solars and gooblers laughing, cheering]
203
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,675
♪ rock music playing ♪
204
00:07:04,675 --> 00:07:07,761
Psst, hey, Yum, what do you think
my goobler is?
205
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:09,638
Maybe it's like a sweet goobler
or something?
206
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:12,266
Jess-ica, your goobler is
a goobler for sucking!
207
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:14,560
It takes up a bunch of space,
and it's a deadweight piece of shit
208
00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:16,562
with nothing to offer the world
and everybody hates it.
209
00:07:16,562 --> 00:07:18,230
Oh, okay. Maybe that's it.
210
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,232
Will you stop playing
with that gun, you little shit.
211
00:07:20,232 --> 00:07:21,149
[gunshot]
[Korvo shouts]
212
00:07:27,072 --> 00:07:30,033
JESSE: The satisfaction you get
from making the world a better place
213
00:07:30,033 --> 00:07:33,495
would taste way better
than any old Starbursts.
214
00:07:37,833 --> 00:07:40,878
I don't care how many geese
drowned in the black tar
215
00:07:40,878 --> 00:07:42,171
off the coast of Santa Barbara,
216
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:44,840
I want my oil rigs
up and running by tomorrow
217
00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,967
or your adopted orphans can starve!
218
00:07:47,676 --> 00:07:50,345
Oh, Jesus Christ. You can't have
next week off, Alice.
219
00:07:50,345 --> 00:07:52,347
I don't care what stage your cancer is in.
220
00:07:52,347 --> 00:07:53,932
Yes, Miss Brandy.
221
00:07:53,932 --> 00:07:54,892
[sobs]
222
00:07:56,852 --> 00:07:57,686
♪ dramatic sting ♪
[shouts]
223
00:07:57,686 --> 00:07:59,897
What the fuck
are you supposed to be?
224
00:07:59,897 --> 00:08:00,898
Get out of here!
225
00:08:00,898 --> 00:08:01,857
Cocomelon.
226
00:08:01,857 --> 00:08:03,859
Cocom-- uh--
What are you talking about?
227
00:08:03,859 --> 00:08:04,985
I said get out!
228
00:08:04,985 --> 00:08:06,445
[vase shatters]
229
00:08:06,445 --> 00:08:08,906
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
230
00:08:08,906 --> 00:08:09,615
[door slams]
231
00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:13,827
- PUPA: Cocomelon.
- Ah!
232
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,163
Oh, my God!
What do you want?
233
00:08:16,663 --> 00:08:19,625
♪ rock music playing ♪
234
00:08:19,625 --> 00:08:22,503
♪
235
00:08:22,503 --> 00:08:24,880
[yawns]
Only 14 more hours to the ranch
236
00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,089
and I get to meet Kaley.
237
00:08:26,507 --> 00:08:28,217
Wait a minute, something's missing.
238
00:08:28,217 --> 00:08:32,012
One, two, four, five. Oh, fuck,
where's my Klepto Goobler?
239
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,139
Maybe we left him
at the local Scottish food place
240
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:34,932
we stopped at.
241
00:08:34,932 --> 00:08:36,683
- You mean McDonald's?
- Fuck!
242
00:08:36,683 --> 00:08:39,311
He's probably still there,
stealing all the McFlurry toppings.
243
00:08:39,311 --> 00:08:40,646
- We have to go back.
- No, Terry!
244
00:08:40,646 --> 00:08:41,522
We're already running late
245
00:08:41,522 --> 00:08:43,524
because we spent so much time
in the McPlayPlace.
246
00:08:43,524 --> 00:08:45,400
I think my goobler's getting bigger?
247
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:46,818
How could you lose your gooblers?
248
00:08:46,818 --> 00:08:48,445
That's the whole point of this road trip!
249
00:08:48,445 --> 00:08:51,114
All I'm sayin' is,
you bring a motherfucker to a PlayPlace,
250
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:52,533
motherfucker gonna play.
251
00:08:52,533 --> 00:08:55,160
[water sloshing]
252
00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:56,370
[door opens, closes]
253
00:08:56,370 --> 00:08:59,957
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
254
00:09:00,415 --> 00:09:02,000
- Cocomelon?
- Jesus, shit!
255
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,252
Okay, y-you're not real.
256
00:09:03,252 --> 00:09:04,461
Y-you're just a side effect
257
00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:06,630
of my Goop ayahuasca vaginal gummy crowns.
258
00:09:06,630 --> 00:09:09,091
I-I-I'm just gonna take some
of my rhino horn pills
259
00:09:09,091 --> 00:09:11,468
that only rich people have,
and you'll go away.
260
00:09:11,468 --> 00:09:12,386
[pills rattle]
[gulps]
261
00:09:13,303 --> 00:09:16,139
- Cocomelon.
- Ah! You know what, fuck this!
262
00:09:16,139 --> 00:09:18,183
How dare you sit there judging me
263
00:09:18,183 --> 00:09:19,476
with your Cookie Monster eyes?
264
00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,687
- Cocomelon.
- You can't judge me.
265
00:09:21,687 --> 00:09:25,274
Only my lovers can judge me
because that's what gets me off.
266
00:09:25,274 --> 00:09:26,525
I choose loneliness
267
00:09:26,525 --> 00:09:28,402
because I've been in love before,
and it sucks.
268
00:09:28,402 --> 00:09:29,486
Cocomelon.
269
00:09:29,486 --> 00:09:31,905
One minute you're happy
living in suburban Kansas City
270
00:09:31,905 --> 00:09:33,699
and the next your lover's in Clueless,
271
00:09:33,699 --> 00:09:35,951
then goes on to have
a 30-year acting career
272
00:09:35,951 --> 00:09:37,369
- and never ages!
- Cocomelon!
273
00:09:37,369 --> 00:09:40,122
Shut up! I am done with you!
274
00:09:40,122 --> 00:09:43,834
[toilet flushes]
275
00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:50,382
[Brandy gasps]
276
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:51,258
Cocomelon.
277
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,010
[Brandy screams]
278
00:09:53,010 --> 00:09:56,680
♪ rock music playing ♪
279
00:09:56,680 --> 00:10:03,937
♪
280
00:10:05,647 --> 00:10:07,441
♪ uplifting music playing ♪
281
00:10:07,900 --> 00:10:10,235
[gasps] Oh, my God!
Is that Kaley Cuoco?
282
00:10:10,235 --> 00:10:11,987
No, wait, this lady only has one ear.
283
00:10:11,987 --> 00:10:13,238
Kaley has two ears!
284
00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,699
What the fuck? I want
to abandon my animals with Kaley!
285
00:10:15,699 --> 00:10:18,994
I'm Kaley Cuoco's stunt double,
Kwelly Cloakawoko.
286
00:10:18,994 --> 00:10:22,164
I lost my ear when Sheldon's homemade
Green Lantern ring exploded
287
00:10:22,164 --> 00:10:23,373
on the Big Bang set.
288
00:10:23,373 --> 00:10:27,628
Welcome to Kaley Cuoco's
Rancho Cuocomonga!
289
00:10:27,628 --> 00:10:29,630
Let's get these
deformed creatures settled,
290
00:10:29,630 --> 00:10:31,089
and I'll give you the tour!
291
00:10:32,508 --> 00:10:35,719
We take all the fucked-up animals
no one else wants to touch:
292
00:10:35,719 --> 00:10:39,014
ligers, middle-aged wolves,
albino pythons.
293
00:10:39,014 --> 00:10:39,973
YUMYULACK:
My snakes!
294
00:10:39,973 --> 00:10:42,851
Anaconor and Lahissa,
you're thriving!
295
00:10:42,851 --> 00:10:44,228
What would you guys like to abandon?
296
00:10:44,228 --> 00:10:46,104
We have several customizable packages
297
00:10:46,104 --> 00:10:49,274
ranging from $29.99 to $8.57 million.
298
00:10:49,274 --> 00:10:52,027
I'm sure you get this a lot,
we have half a dozen Super Gooblers
299
00:10:52,027 --> 00:10:53,862
that'll eventually kill us
so, you know,
300
00:10:53,862 --> 00:10:56,532
gotta ditch them with you
before the stabby-stabby begins.
301
00:10:56,532 --> 00:10:58,408
A half dozen? You mean these two?
302
00:10:58,408 --> 00:11:00,244
No, we-- Oh, shit!
303
00:11:00,244 --> 00:11:02,120
Jesse, your goobler got fat as fuck!
304
00:11:02,120 --> 00:11:03,205
Why didn't you say anything?
305
00:11:03,205 --> 00:11:04,498
I did, on the bus!
306
00:11:04,498 --> 00:11:06,583
Next time speak up, Messica!
307
00:11:06,583 --> 00:11:09,002
If you weren't part of my mission,
I would abandon you here too.
308
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,254
[Jesse groans]
309
00:11:11,004 --> 00:11:12,297
♪ gentle music playing ♪
310
00:11:12,297 --> 00:11:14,466
This is our largest enclosure.
311
00:11:14,466 --> 00:11:16,218
Your strange creatures should be as happy
312
00:11:16,218 --> 00:11:18,053
as an abandoned animal can ever be here.
313
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,429
[bear growls]
314
00:11:19,429 --> 00:11:20,556
Go on, little guy.
315
00:11:20,556 --> 00:11:24,393
You can romance the fuck out
of whatever you want in there.
316
00:11:25,102 --> 00:11:25,769
Wait!
317
00:11:25,769 --> 00:11:27,187
Jesse, these things
are going to turn on us,
318
00:11:27,187 --> 00:11:28,355
can we wrap it up?
319
00:11:28,730 --> 00:11:30,774
I just need to know what you are.
320
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,651
What emotion do I have too much of?
321
00:11:32,651 --> 00:11:35,737
Who cares! Get the fuck in there,
you stupid goobler.
322
00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:36,572
[door closes]
323
00:11:36,572 --> 00:11:39,408
Phew, finally, a goobler situation
that doesn't end
324
00:11:39,408 --> 00:11:41,827
in me getting stabbed
or having sex in a casino.
325
00:11:41,827 --> 00:11:43,579
Bye, White Goobler.
326
00:11:43,579 --> 00:11:45,038
You guys must be tired.
327
00:11:45,038 --> 00:11:47,708
You can stay here for the night
in our The Flight Attendant suite
328
00:11:47,708 --> 00:11:50,836
and relax with a post-abandonment cup
of hot Cuoco.
329
00:11:50,836 --> 00:11:52,588
Ew, do you have to say it that way?
330
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:55,174
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
331
00:11:55,174 --> 00:11:56,300
That's my ledge,
332
00:11:56,300 --> 00:11:58,427
and I didn't give you permission
to perch there.
333
00:11:58,427 --> 00:11:59,219
Cocomelon?
334
00:11:59,219 --> 00:12:00,262
Let's see if you can dodge
335
00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:02,848
all these expensive
rich lady collectables!
336
00:12:02,848 --> 00:12:06,685
Basquiat's basquiaball.
Air Bud's skull!
337
00:12:06,685 --> 00:12:08,896
An Irish femur from the Titanic!
[grunts]
338
00:12:08,896 --> 00:12:09,563
[Pupa shouts]
339
00:12:09,563 --> 00:12:11,481
Ancient butt plug!
340
00:12:13,275 --> 00:12:16,069
Yes! Ha ha ha!
341
00:12:16,069 --> 00:12:17,237
Fuck you!
342
00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,198
I'm free from the torture!
343
00:12:19,198 --> 00:12:20,032
[sighs]
344
00:12:20,032 --> 00:12:21,033
- Cocomelon.
- Ah!
345
00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:23,535
Ow! My leg! Oh God.
346
00:12:23,535 --> 00:12:24,661
Help! Help!
347
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,081
Can anybody hear me?
348
00:12:28,081 --> 00:12:29,041
[groans]
349
00:12:29,041 --> 00:12:30,334
Of course not.
350
00:12:31,001 --> 00:12:34,713
I'm all alone...
by my own design.
351
00:12:35,297 --> 00:12:36,256
[slurps]
352
00:12:36,256 --> 00:12:38,592
Mm, this hot Cuoco is pumpkin-spicy.
353
00:12:38,592 --> 00:12:39,718
Don't you think it's weird
354
00:12:39,718 --> 00:12:42,804
that none of us figured out
what my goobler's dealio was?
355
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:45,140
Oh, my God, nobody cares
about the goobler shit.
356
00:12:45,140 --> 00:12:46,934
I mean, if I had
to figure out the backstory
357
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,936
of everything I puked up,
I'd be too busy to write
358
00:12:48,936 --> 00:12:51,313
my Dolores Claiborne
expanded universe fan fiction.
359
00:12:51,313 --> 00:12:52,564
Maybe you're right.
360
00:12:52,564 --> 00:12:55,359
I'm gonna go say bye
to the gooblers one more time
361
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,777
before we kwo-go.
362
00:12:56,777 --> 00:12:59,154
Oh, my God,
you're such a Lisa Simpson.
363
00:12:59,154 --> 00:13:01,281
♪ somber music playing ♪
364
00:13:01,281 --> 00:13:03,325
White Goobler? Are you awake?
365
00:13:03,325 --> 00:13:05,994
[switch thuds, lights thud]
366
00:13:06,912 --> 00:13:09,164
[White Goobler growls]
367
00:13:09,164 --> 00:13:10,374
[Jesse gasps]
368
00:13:10,374 --> 00:13:11,959
[White Goobler growls]
369
00:13:12,709 --> 00:13:14,711
Give it to me! Papa like!
370
00:13:15,629 --> 00:13:16,880
Whitey, no!
371
00:13:16,880 --> 00:13:18,966
[White Goobler groans]
372
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:20,050
[wall crashes]
373
00:13:21,552 --> 00:13:22,553
[White Goobler groans]
[Jesse gasps]
374
00:13:24,054 --> 00:13:25,681
You know, I always thought
Kaley Cuoco was
375
00:13:25,681 --> 00:13:26,890
a poor man's Kristen Bell,
376
00:13:26,890 --> 00:13:28,183
but now I'm gonna upgrade her
377
00:13:28,183 --> 00:13:30,769
to an upper middle-class woman's
Anna Faris.
378
00:13:30,769 --> 00:13:32,980
- [branches snap]
- Shut up, did you hear that?
379
00:13:33,605 --> 00:13:36,066
Use the single match app on your phone
to get us some more light.
380
00:13:36,066 --> 00:13:38,277
Right! Steady.
Hope this works.
381
00:13:38,277 --> 00:13:41,697
The app only has one match
before it makes you watch an ad.
382
00:13:41,989 --> 00:13:42,698
Phew!
383
00:13:43,365 --> 00:13:45,158
♪ tense music playing ♪
384
00:13:45,868 --> 00:13:46,869
Oh, shit!
385
00:13:46,869 --> 00:13:48,787
[White Goobler groans]
386
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:51,874
Help! It's hugging me!
Help! Help!
387
00:13:52,207 --> 00:13:54,877
The White Goobler got out,
and now I think I know what happened!
388
00:13:54,877 --> 00:13:56,628
It ate all the other gooblers!
389
00:13:56,628 --> 00:13:58,130
Thanks a lot, lieutenant obvious!
390
00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,299
Damn you, Jessica Opposites!
391
00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:01,717
TERRY: Oh, my God!
YUMYULACK: Oh, shit!
392
00:14:01,717 --> 00:14:03,719
We have to get to the visitor's center!
393
00:14:03,719 --> 00:14:05,220
[White Goobler groans]
[Terry and Yumyulack grunt]
394
00:14:05,220 --> 00:14:07,472
- No!
- Yummy bear!
395
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,516
[Yumyulack screams]
396
00:14:09,516 --> 00:14:10,893
Looks like we need some speed.
397
00:14:10,893 --> 00:14:12,561
Luckily, I wore my Heelys! Come on!
398
00:14:14,021 --> 00:14:16,607
Ah!
Damn it, stupid dirt, getting in my 'ees.
399
00:14:16,607 --> 00:14:17,941
Run, Terry!
400
00:14:17,941 --> 00:14:20,527
I'm trying!
These Heely shoes betrayed me!
401
00:14:20,527 --> 00:14:21,486
[crunches]
402
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:23,488
Kwelly to the rescue!
403
00:14:23,488 --> 00:14:24,406
[golf cart screeches]
404
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:27,576
You gotta fix this,
or Kaley's gonna go ballistic!
405
00:14:27,576 --> 00:14:28,577
[shouts]
406
00:14:29,328 --> 00:14:32,456
I can't! I don't even know
what my goobler represents!
407
00:14:32,456 --> 00:14:34,291
You better find someone who can!
408
00:14:34,291 --> 00:14:35,375
That's impossible!
409
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,544
Our ship computer couldn't even do-- Ah!
410
00:14:37,544 --> 00:14:38,629
Fuckin' snakes!
411
00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:40,130
Snake blood never comes out.
412
00:14:40,130 --> 00:14:41,924
These seats are gonna be red for life.
413
00:14:41,924 --> 00:14:44,134
Wait! Red. That's it!
414
00:14:44,134 --> 00:14:47,554
God, Kaley's gonna take
those snakes out of my pension!
415
00:14:51,475 --> 00:14:55,687
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
416
00:14:56,271 --> 00:14:57,731
[door opens, closes]
417
00:14:57,731 --> 00:14:59,107
How'd you find me?
418
00:14:59,107 --> 00:15:02,110
Instagram. You gotta tell it
not to let people tag you.
419
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:04,446
I can't, we get a lot
of business through social.
420
00:15:04,446 --> 00:15:05,948
Would you just leave me alone?
421
00:15:05,948 --> 00:15:07,449
It took a lot of tele-therapy,
422
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,451
but I'm not trying to kill Korvo anymore.
423
00:15:09,451 --> 00:15:12,162
That's great! I'm proud of you
for doing the hard work!
424
00:15:12,162 --> 00:15:13,956
But I really need your help.
425
00:15:13,956 --> 00:15:16,708
Did you make some super gooblers
that got out of hand?
426
00:15:16,708 --> 00:15:17,626
How did you know?
427
00:15:17,626 --> 00:15:20,587
All gooblers are connected
through the emotional spectrum.
428
00:15:20,587 --> 00:15:22,798
I could feel their presence
when you made them.
429
00:15:22,798 --> 00:15:26,260
I'm drawn to them.
But I'm the master of my own fate.
430
00:15:26,260 --> 00:15:29,721
I choose to own the fifth most popular
microbrewery in town.
431
00:15:29,721 --> 00:15:31,348
Sorry, I can't help you.
432
00:15:31,348 --> 00:15:33,267
But my super goob ate the others,
433
00:15:33,267 --> 00:15:35,269
and it ate Terry and Korvo and Yumyulack
434
00:15:35,269 --> 00:15:36,728
and now I don't know what to do.
435
00:15:36,728 --> 00:15:38,522
- Not my problem.
- But you're my only--
436
00:15:38,522 --> 00:15:40,148
Korvo and Terry ruined my life!
437
00:15:40,148 --> 00:15:41,900
They turned my fiancé into a rat!
438
00:15:41,900 --> 00:15:43,485
I'm over it, I'm out.
439
00:15:43,485 --> 00:15:45,654
Hold your red horses, goobs.
440
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:49,032
If you're out, then why is your brewery
called Die Korvo in Latin?
441
00:15:49,032 --> 00:15:49,867
Get out!
442
00:15:49,867 --> 00:15:52,494
And why are all your beer names
so violent and abusive?
443
00:15:52,494 --> 00:15:54,746
Hefewei Is Korvo Still Alive,
444
00:15:54,746 --> 00:15:57,624
IPA Bullet in Korvo's Head. Stella.
445
00:15:57,624 --> 00:15:58,500
I said get out!
446
00:15:58,500 --> 00:16:00,377
[Jesse sobs]
447
00:16:00,377 --> 00:16:01,211
[door opens, closes]
448
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:06,133
[sobs, shouts]
449
00:16:07,217 --> 00:16:08,385
[door opens]
450
00:16:08,385 --> 00:16:09,720
Take me to the goobler.
451
00:16:09,720 --> 00:16:11,430
What made you change your mind?
452
00:16:11,430 --> 00:16:13,056
I might be over killing Korvo,
453
00:16:13,056 --> 00:16:15,350
but god fuck me if I'll let
another goobler eat him
454
00:16:15,350 --> 00:16:16,435
instead of me.
455
00:16:16,435 --> 00:16:17,519
Works for me!
456
00:16:18,812 --> 00:16:21,481
Just gonna warn you.
It's kind of a long drive.
457
00:16:24,443 --> 00:16:26,987
So you know Korvo
and I hooked up in Vegas?
458
00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:28,822
I bet you're wondering how I did it,
459
00:16:28,822 --> 00:16:31,283
since Korvo doesn't have a butt
and I don't have a dick.
460
00:16:31,283 --> 00:16:33,327
Nah, it's okay, I don't need to know.
461
00:16:34,620 --> 00:16:36,205
I dug a little hole out of his butt
462
00:16:36,205 --> 00:16:38,123
and used a shampoo bottle as a phallus.
463
00:16:38,123 --> 00:16:39,875
- It kept falling off.
- Let's just listen
464
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:41,627
to some random-ass music, huh?
465
00:16:41,627 --> 00:16:42,419
♪ hard rock music playing ♪
466
00:16:43,295 --> 00:16:45,923
Oh, god damn it, fine.
467
00:16:45,923 --> 00:16:48,258
I regret the way I lived my life.
468
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,427
I lie to myself about being powerful,
469
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:52,596
but I'm just toxic and bossy,
470
00:16:52,596 --> 00:16:55,057
and because of that, I'm alone.
471
00:16:55,057 --> 00:16:56,975
You can see how unhappy I am.
472
00:16:56,975 --> 00:16:58,560
I hate being the executive
473
00:16:58,560 --> 00:17:00,729
who decided Exxon Mobil should care more
474
00:17:00,729 --> 00:17:02,689
about profits than people.
475
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,233
Yeah, that was me!
476
00:17:04,233 --> 00:17:06,902
I was also the one
who made insulin cost so much,
477
00:17:06,902 --> 00:17:08,987
though it's basically free to make.
478
00:17:08,987 --> 00:17:11,573
[sobs] I'm scum.
479
00:17:12,491 --> 00:17:14,826
I'm scum.
480
00:17:14,826 --> 00:17:16,245
♪ tense music intensifies ♪
481
00:17:16,245 --> 00:17:17,120
[Brandy gasps]
482
00:17:18,664 --> 00:17:19,748
[knocking at door]
483
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:22,543
Miss Brandy?
Did something terrible happen?
484
00:17:22,543 --> 00:17:25,420
You haven't texted me anything racist
in the last few days.
485
00:17:25,420 --> 00:17:27,172
Alice! Oh, Alice!
486
00:17:27,172 --> 00:17:29,758
I'll pay for your experimental
cancer treatments.
487
00:17:29,758 --> 00:17:33,011
I'll help save your village
that I destroyed with that pipeline!
488
00:17:33,011 --> 00:17:35,138
I want to be a better person,
489
00:17:35,138 --> 00:17:38,141
and it's all thanks to this
strange creature that--
490
00:17:38,141 --> 00:17:38,642
[gasps]
491
00:17:39,351 --> 00:17:41,144
Maybe he was never really there.
492
00:17:41,144 --> 00:17:42,187
[chuckles]
493
00:17:42,187 --> 00:17:45,357
Oh! That whole time,
it was my conscience.
494
00:17:45,357 --> 00:17:47,484
I was just hallucinating!
495
00:17:47,484 --> 00:17:50,028
Oh! Is that good?
496
00:17:50,028 --> 00:17:54,324
I don't know, but I'm nice now!
497
00:17:54,324 --> 00:17:56,159
I'm calling all the airlines
498
00:17:56,159 --> 00:17:59,288
and making every plane seat bigger!
499
00:18:00,414 --> 00:18:02,833
Huh, I thought this would be
more like Leighton Meester's
500
00:18:02,833 --> 00:18:04,793
Meester Rogers' Neighborhood
For Sea Creatures
501
00:18:04,793 --> 00:18:05,919
and Where To Dump Them.
502
00:18:05,919 --> 00:18:07,921
Geez, these celeb animal rescue names
503
00:18:07,921 --> 00:18:09,256
are getting pretty sweaty.
504
00:18:09,256 --> 00:18:11,258
Oh, no! What's happening?
505
00:18:11,925 --> 00:18:14,761
I hope my goobler didn't do
a murder on anyone else!
506
00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:15,721
[thuds]
[Jesse screams]
507
00:18:17,222 --> 00:18:18,724
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
508
00:18:18,724 --> 00:18:20,392
[White Goobler groaning]
509
00:18:20,392 --> 00:18:22,060
[Kwelly gasps, screams]
510
00:18:22,060 --> 00:18:23,478
Oh, shit, yeah, no,
511
00:18:23,478 --> 00:18:25,647
that's definitely
an anger repression goobler.
512
00:18:27,357 --> 00:18:28,609
[golf cart crashes]
513
00:18:29,526 --> 00:18:32,029
She's gonna consume everyone else
and save you for last.
514
00:18:32,029 --> 00:18:32,863
That's what they do.
515
00:18:32,863 --> 00:18:36,408
But I'm not repressed or angry.
I'm happy!
516
00:18:36,408 --> 00:18:38,285
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
517
00:18:38,285 --> 00:18:39,828
[White Goobler belches]
518
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:43,207
You need to admit you've got
a problem before we all die!
519
00:18:43,207 --> 00:18:46,502
But I don't have a problem!
There has to be another way.
520
00:18:46,502 --> 00:18:49,171
I guess I can try talking to her,
goobler to goobler,
521
00:18:49,171 --> 00:18:50,714
using goobler speak.
522
00:18:50,714 --> 00:18:53,842
Gooble. Gooble goo goo gooble goo!
523
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,971
Gooble goo goo gooble booble goo!
524
00:18:59,515 --> 00:19:00,557
[Red Goobler shouts]
525
00:19:00,557 --> 00:19:01,433
[gasps]
526
00:19:01,433 --> 00:19:03,060
Hold on! I'm coming!
[Red Goobler screaming]
527
00:19:03,769 --> 00:19:04,895
Jesse, it's up to you,
528
00:19:04,895 --> 00:19:07,481
deep down you know who you're angry at!
529
00:19:07,481 --> 00:19:08,982
[Jesse screams]
530
00:19:10,526 --> 00:19:12,486
[Jesse screaming]
531
00:19:12,486 --> 00:19:14,404
Uh, hello, everybody.
532
00:19:14,404 --> 00:19:16,031
Jessica, your stupid goobler ate us,
533
00:19:16,031 --> 00:19:17,616
and now you brought
the Red Goobler into it!
534
00:19:17,616 --> 00:19:19,826
- Get fucked!
- You get fucked, you rude shit!
535
00:19:19,826 --> 00:19:22,120
This is all your fault!
Why do you suck so much?
536
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,499
[growls] Korvo, shut-- shut--
537
00:19:25,499 --> 00:19:27,125
Get him, Jesse! Let it out!
538
00:19:27,125 --> 00:19:29,545
Shut your filthy mouth, Korvo!
539
00:19:29,545 --> 00:19:31,129
It's your fault you're in here!
540
00:19:31,129 --> 00:19:33,048
If you weren't being mean
to me all the time,
541
00:19:33,048 --> 00:19:35,592
I wouldn't have a fudgin' goobler
in the first place.
542
00:19:35,592 --> 00:19:38,804
You've turned into a bully
because I never fight back,
543
00:19:38,804 --> 00:19:40,931
but that changes now!
544
00:19:40,931 --> 00:19:42,808
I'm not a bully,
don't try and turn this on me!
545
00:19:42,808 --> 00:19:44,935
I'm not done!
546
00:19:44,935 --> 00:19:47,187
You're rude, selfish,
and mean to me all the time!
547
00:19:47,187 --> 00:19:50,148
But you just hate yourself,
and we all know it!
548
00:19:50,148 --> 00:19:51,775
You don't like me?
549
00:19:51,775 --> 00:19:53,986
No, I don't. I don't like you.
550
00:19:53,986 --> 00:19:54,862
You suck.
551
00:19:54,862 --> 00:19:57,823
You never appreciate all the work
I do around the house,
552
00:19:57,823 --> 00:20:00,868
and I never get a story with you ever!
553
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:04,371
Fine, Jessica, we can have
a story if you calm down.
554
00:20:04,371 --> 00:20:09,251
Stop calling me Jessica!
My name is Jesse!
555
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:10,043
[White Goobler groans, splatters]
556
00:20:10,043 --> 00:20:11,628
[all grunt]
557
00:20:12,171 --> 00:20:14,047
We're free! Ha ha!
558
00:20:14,047 --> 00:20:15,674
And my goobler's okay.
559
00:20:15,674 --> 00:20:18,051
Oh, yeah, baby, that's the good stuff.
560
00:20:18,051 --> 00:20:19,344
Jesse, your anger.
561
00:20:19,344 --> 00:20:21,305
Expressing it made your goobler explode.
562
00:20:21,305 --> 00:20:24,183
Yeah, that's what happens
if you actually show real growth.
563
00:20:24,183 --> 00:20:25,642
Then why are you still around?
564
00:20:25,642 --> 00:20:28,687
Because you're a myopic,
stressed-out piece of shit.
565
00:20:28,687 --> 00:20:29,771
Right.
566
00:20:29,771 --> 00:20:31,982
I realized that
if you swallow your anger,
567
00:20:31,982 --> 00:20:32,983
it will kill you.
568
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:35,652
So I let her swallow me and I killed her.
569
00:20:35,652 --> 00:20:37,821
Wait, so you're not
actually angry with me?
570
00:20:37,821 --> 00:20:40,324
Oh, I'm angry. Korvo, get fucked!
571
00:20:40,324 --> 00:20:42,075
I'm so proud of you!
572
00:20:42,576 --> 00:20:43,535
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
573
00:20:43,535 --> 00:20:46,413
[crowd cheering]
574
00:20:46,413 --> 00:20:49,208
♪ upbeat music playing ♪
575
00:20:49,208 --> 00:20:50,459
Thanks for the help, Chris.
576
00:20:50,459 --> 00:20:52,961
I never could have channeled
my rage at Korvo
577
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:54,379
without your expertise.
578
00:20:54,379 --> 00:20:57,466
As the King Goobler says,
oobie goobie goo!
579
00:20:57,466 --> 00:20:59,218
[gooblers laughing]
580
00:20:59,218 --> 00:21:01,595
Did he say King Goobler?
What the fuck is that?
581
00:21:01,595 --> 00:21:03,889
Looks like all my goobies
love working with you.
582
00:21:03,889 --> 00:21:07,017
You know, today Jesse taught me
to be true to my feelings.
583
00:21:07,017 --> 00:21:08,060
You're safe now,
584
00:21:08,060 --> 00:21:10,646
but I will hunt you down
and I will kill you.
585
00:21:10,646 --> 00:21:11,730
Don't you threaten me.
586
00:21:11,730 --> 00:21:13,690
I already did, you big bitch.
587
00:21:13,690 --> 00:21:14,441
[all laughing]
588
00:21:14,441 --> 00:21:16,527
Oh, yeah? Well, guess what?
You'll never kill me.
589
00:21:16,527 --> 00:21:17,986
I'm too fast and too smart.
590
00:21:17,986 --> 00:21:19,738
And it's my turn to say,
591
00:21:19,738 --> 00:21:21,198
get fucked!
592
00:21:21,198 --> 00:21:24,117
[glass shatters]
[Korvo groaning, screaming]
593
00:21:24,117 --> 00:21:27,162
My leg! Oh, Jesus Christ,
it fucking hurts!
594
00:21:27,162 --> 00:21:28,080
Help!
595
00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,040
I stabbed my leg
on the jagged glass.
596
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:33,293
I can feel it scraping the thing
I have instead of a bone!
597
00:21:33,794 --> 00:21:35,629
Holy fuck, he's losing a lot of blood.
598
00:21:35,629 --> 00:21:38,048
- Should we get him down?
- Yes! Of course, we should!
599
00:21:39,091 --> 00:21:40,008
In a minute.
600
00:21:40,008 --> 00:21:41,260
[all laughing]
601
00:21:41,260 --> 00:21:43,095
Oh. Hey, Pupa, what you got?
602
00:21:43,762 --> 00:21:45,806
I wanna be a better person!
603
00:21:45,806 --> 00:21:47,766
Shit, Pupes! You did it!
604
00:21:47,766 --> 00:21:50,936
You did something good for humanity
instead of scheming for candy!
605
00:21:51,562 --> 00:21:53,856
Hold on, you already have
three million subscribers
606
00:21:53,856 --> 00:21:55,440
and a Starburst sponsorship?
607
00:21:56,358 --> 00:21:58,986
[Korvo groaning]
608
00:21:58,986 --> 00:22:00,529
KORVO:
Ow, ow! It hurts!
609
00:22:00,529 --> 00:22:01,655
Pupa, get back here!
610
00:22:01,655 --> 00:22:04,116
How did you turn this into a referendum
on me being a dick?
611
00:22:04,116 --> 00:22:07,578
[screams] This was a Jesse story!
Why am I being punished?
612
00:22:07,578 --> 00:22:09,246
It's not fair! Ow! Ow!
613
00:22:10,747 --> 00:22:12,749
Goobie goobie dooby, get fucked!
614
00:22:12,749 --> 00:22:17,337
♪ dramatic music playing ♪
615
00:22:17,337 --> 00:22:20,507
♪
616
00:22:57,127 --> 00:22:58,629
[mimicking laser fire]
45979
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
