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1
00:00:25,552 --> 00:00:27,221
-Hi.
-[gasps] Oh.
2
00:00:27,254 --> 00:00:28,858
[laughs] Hello, love.
3
00:00:28,891 --> 00:00:31,196
You and Dad are going out
for dinner later, right?
4
00:00:31,229 --> 00:00:33,333
Um, yeah, we've got
a table booked for 7:30.
5
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:34,703
If we were dreadful people,
6
00:00:34,736 --> 00:00:36,707
we might even call it
a date night.
7
00:00:36,740 --> 00:00:38,110
Well, before that,
there's someone coming around
8
00:00:38,143 --> 00:00:39,445
who I'd like you to meet.
9
00:00:39,478 --> 00:00:42,084
-Her name's Holly.
-Holly. Okay, great.
10
00:00:42,117 --> 00:00:44,088
And she's my girlfriend.
11
00:00:44,121 --> 00:00:49,533
Hey! Hey, Ava. That's, uh,
that's fantastic.
12
00:00:49,566 --> 00:00:52,471
It is. I thought it was about
time. Anyway, she's brilliant.
13
00:00:52,505 --> 00:00:54,442
-You'll like her.
-Of course we will.
14
00:00:54,475 --> 00:00:56,514
Don't do anything weird,
but you're gonna love her.
15
00:00:56,547 --> 00:00:57,883
-[chuckles]
-It's only been two weeks,
16
00:00:57,916 --> 00:01:01,156
but it feels like ages...
in a good way.
17
00:01:01,189 --> 00:01:03,493
-Do you remember that feeling?
-Just about. Yes.
18
00:01:03,527 --> 00:01:04,863
Well, it's a great feeling.
19
00:01:18,891 --> 00:01:21,196
-[exhales deeply]
-[cellphone rings]
20
00:01:21,229 --> 00:01:23,233
[grunts] Hey, hon.
21
00:01:23,266 --> 00:01:26,239
-Paul, Amber alert. Amber alert.
-What?
22
00:01:26,272 --> 00:01:27,776
I'm pretty sure
Ava just came out.
23
00:01:27,809 --> 00:01:29,847
Wow!
24
00:01:29,880 --> 00:01:32,485
[exhales deeply]
Shit. It's happening.
25
00:01:32,519 --> 00:01:35,658
Yes! She wants to introduce us
to her girlfriend
26
00:01:35,691 --> 00:01:37,929
before we head out tonight.
Holly.
27
00:01:37,962 --> 00:01:38,931
Thought you said
her name was Amber.
28
00:01:38,964 --> 00:01:41,704
Oh, Christ. It's good
to laugh, isn't it, Paul?
29
00:01:41,737 --> 00:01:44,308
Sorry. Yeah, yeah, all right.
30
00:01:44,341 --> 00:01:46,614
[chuckles] Listen, let's not
fuck this one up, shall we?
31
00:01:46,647 --> 00:01:49,485
Noted. I mean, it's nice,
though, isn't it?
32
00:01:49,519 --> 00:01:51,456
-Nice that she's including us.
-Yeah.
33
00:01:51,489 --> 00:01:52,491
-[Ava] Mum?
-[whispers] Oh, fuck.
34
00:01:53,293 --> 00:01:54,930
-Hiya, love.
-We're out of peanut butter.
35
00:01:54,963 --> 00:01:56,466
Do we have any more? Because
Holly loves peanut butter.
36
00:01:56,499 --> 00:01:57,736
It's, like, one of her things.
37
00:01:57,769 --> 00:01:59,472
Have you checked behind
Dad's horrible chutneys?
38
00:01:59,506 --> 00:02:00,742
-[doorbell rings]
-[gasps]
39
00:02:00,775 --> 00:02:01,710
Ooh!
40
00:02:03,379 --> 00:02:05,316
You're gonna love her, Mum.
41
00:02:08,490 --> 00:02:10,528
[singsongy] Ta-da! [chuckles]
42
00:02:10,561 --> 00:02:12,397
-Lovely to meet ya, Ally.
-Hi, Ava.
43
00:02:14,301 --> 00:02:17,308
-[Ally] Oh.
-It's an orange. Wine.
44
00:02:17,341 --> 00:02:19,646
Looks like auld piss, but tastes
nothing like it, I promise.
45
00:02:19,679 --> 00:02:21,917
[laughs] "Auld piss." Fantastic.
46
00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:26,660
That's... That's very,
very kind of you. Thanks.
47
00:02:26,693 --> 00:02:28,230
[chuckles]
48
00:02:28,263 --> 00:02:30,535
-I'm Siobhan.
-Yes, no, yeah, of course.
49
00:02:30,568 --> 00:02:31,737
Darren's told me
so much about you.
50
00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:33,407
-Oh, God, how much?
-Tons.
51
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:34,943
In fact, I thought
he might have been going
52
00:02:34,976 --> 00:02:37,682
-through your bins.
-Uh, Siobhan's building, uh,
53
00:02:37,715 --> 00:02:39,452
actually has communal bins, so--
54
00:02:39,485 --> 00:02:40,822
-So, were you guys--
-Uh, I wouldn't go through them
55
00:02:40,855 --> 00:02:43,795
-even if they weren't.
-No. Yeah. Um...
56
00:02:43,828 --> 00:02:46,734
But were you just passing by
57
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,807
and you sensed that
I needed some wine or...
58
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,710
[chuckles]
No, we're here for dinner.
59
00:02:51,743 --> 00:02:53,581
You invited us round for dinner?
60
00:02:53,614 --> 00:02:55,718
Yes, but, oh, God, no, no.
That's not this week.
61
00:02:55,751 --> 00:02:57,856
-That's next week.
-I don't think so.
62
00:02:57,889 --> 00:03:00,360
Mm. Um...
63
00:03:00,393 --> 00:03:01,596
Sorry.
64
00:03:04,468 --> 00:03:06,674
Shit. Shit.
65
00:03:06,707 --> 00:03:09,913
Yes. Oh. Susie and Chris
are coming, too. Um--
66
00:03:09,946 --> 00:03:11,684
Would you like us to bugger off?
67
00:03:11,717 --> 00:03:14,656
No! No, no, no, no. It's fine.
Come... Come on in.
68
00:03:14,689 --> 00:03:17,361
I was just about to put on
a massive pot of... food.
69
00:03:17,394 --> 00:03:18,531
-Food?
-Yeah.
70
00:03:18,564 --> 00:03:20,634
One of my favorites.
[chuckles]
71
00:03:22,471 --> 00:03:23,574
[door closes]
72
00:03:23,607 --> 00:03:24,542
[dish clatters]
73
00:03:27,982 --> 00:03:29,686
Is this okay? With Holly coming?
74
00:03:29,719 --> 00:03:32,626
Fine. Nice for her to meet
everyone. I want this to be...
75
00:03:32,659 --> 00:03:34,530
well, not a huge thing,
but a big thing.
76
00:03:34,563 --> 00:03:37,736
Okay. Right. Drinks.
77
00:03:37,769 --> 00:03:39,372
-Can I just use your bathroom?
-I can show you where it is.
78
00:03:39,405 --> 00:03:40,975
Just going upstairs myself.
79
00:03:47,856 --> 00:03:50,895
[lowered voice] Right, uh, one
thing. I haven't got any kids.
80
00:03:50,928 --> 00:03:52,933
-Have they died?
-They haven't,
81
00:03:52,966 --> 00:03:55,304
but as far as Siobhan's
concerned, they don't exist.
82
00:03:55,337 --> 00:03:56,907
So, you haven't told Siobhan
about your twin girls?
83
00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:58,511
That's mad.
84
00:03:58,544 --> 00:03:59,980
I just sort of panicked
at the start there.
85
00:04:00,013 --> 00:04:00,949
Well, how long ago
was the start?
86
00:04:00,982 --> 00:04:02,485
A couple of months back.
87
00:04:02,519 --> 00:04:04,489
Siobhan is child-free,
and the twins are,
88
00:04:04,523 --> 00:04:06,961
well, you know,
a strong flavor. [chuckles]
89
00:04:06,994 --> 00:04:09,298
I think I love her, Ally.
90
00:04:09,331 --> 00:04:11,069
I think I'd rather have
Siobhan than the twins.
91
00:04:11,102 --> 00:04:12,506
You don't mean that.
92
00:04:12,539 --> 00:04:14,543
You know it's their 13th
coming up? Birthday?
93
00:04:14,576 --> 00:04:15,845
Do you know
what they asked me for?
94
00:04:15,878 --> 00:04:18,016
I thought maybe new phones,
concert tickets,
95
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:20,053
but they asked me if
I'd climb into a suitcase
96
00:04:20,086 --> 00:04:22,424
and let them carry me around
for 20 minutes.
97
00:04:22,457 --> 00:04:23,961
-Jesus Christ.
-I think they just wanted
98
00:04:23,994 --> 00:04:25,698
to see if they could
make me do it.
99
00:04:25,731 --> 00:04:27,903
You know, capitulate to
their will. I mean, they're 13.
100
00:04:27,936 --> 00:04:29,573
-Did you do it?
-Yes, of course I did it.
101
00:04:29,606 --> 00:04:31,442
-[doorbell rings]
-Oh.
102
00:04:31,475 --> 00:04:33,714
Please, Ally, just for tonight,
until I figure something out.
103
00:04:34,048 --> 00:04:35,049
[lowered voice] Ally!
104
00:04:37,054 --> 00:04:38,690
Susie!
105
00:04:39,258 --> 00:04:42,766
Oh, sorry, it's just me.
Chris won't be joining us.
106
00:04:42,799 --> 00:04:44,736
He's busy downloading
a dating app.
107
00:04:46,439 --> 00:04:48,076
I broke it off with him
on Sunday evening.
108
00:04:48,109 --> 00:04:50,347
Oh, God. Your busiest day
and everything.
109
00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:52,017
-[sighs]
-Come here.
110
00:04:54,121 --> 00:04:56,325
-Oh, I got you this.
-Thanks.
111
00:04:57,027 --> 00:04:59,365
Oh, hey, Ava.
How are you doing?
112
00:04:59,398 --> 00:05:01,670
Susie, I didn't know you
were coming. It's been ages!
113
00:05:01,703 --> 00:05:02,973
I can't wait to tell Holly
114
00:05:03,006 --> 00:05:04,543
she's about to meet Susie,
the vicar.
115
00:05:04,576 --> 00:05:05,811
She's heard all about you.
116
00:05:10,621 --> 00:05:11,556
[mouthing words]
117
00:05:21,543 --> 00:05:24,883
[laughter,
indistinct conversation]
118
00:05:24,916 --> 00:05:27,756
Really, I'd never seen
anyone taller than me
119
00:05:27,789 --> 00:05:29,760
struggle with the top shelf
at the supermarket,
120
00:05:29,793 --> 00:05:34,870
much less a man, as in,
you know, a young-ish man.
121
00:05:34,903 --> 00:05:38,076
And I know this is the oddest
fucking thing to say out loud,
122
00:05:38,109 --> 00:05:41,917
but there was just something
so sweetly pathetic about him.
123
00:05:41,950 --> 00:05:43,788
And here we are.
124
00:05:43,821 --> 00:05:46,994
You know, like, like,
in a kid's book when, say,
125
00:05:47,027 --> 00:05:49,131
a crocodile makes friends
with a worm.
126
00:05:49,164 --> 00:05:50,768
-Mm.
-[cellphone chimes]
127
00:05:50,801 --> 00:05:53,574
Oh. Sorry. [sighs]
128
00:05:55,076 --> 00:05:58,082
Sorry. It's just, um...
Uh, won't be a tick.
129
00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,088
What do you mean,
"something urgent"?
130
00:06:02,892 --> 00:06:05,665
No, sorry.
It's your night with them.
131
00:06:05,698 --> 00:06:08,804
I can't have the girls because
I'm not at home tonight.
132
00:06:10,841 --> 00:06:12,879
Okay. Right.
133
00:06:12,912 --> 00:06:16,486
Well, your location app
is wrong, Karen, 'cause...
134
00:06:16,520 --> 00:06:18,055
yeah, I'm only near
Ally's house.
135
00:06:19,959 --> 00:06:23,567
[sighs] I'm actually with one
of the guys from Pilates.
136
00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:24,902
Yeah, Julian.
137
00:06:25,269 --> 00:06:28,042
Yeah, we're off out
on a big session of booze.
138
00:06:28,409 --> 00:06:30,581
Yeah, so don't come to Ally's.
139
00:06:30,614 --> 00:06:32,585
Not come to Ally's
'cause I'm not here. There.
140
00:06:32,618 --> 00:06:34,656
Just don't go to Ally--
141
00:06:35,457 --> 00:06:37,529
-[door closes]
-You all right, Darren?
142
00:06:37,562 --> 00:06:39,800
Mm-hmm. How do you turn off
shared location on your phone?
143
00:06:39,833 --> 00:06:41,770
-I have no idea.
-Oh, bugger!
144
00:06:42,639 --> 00:06:44,442
[lowered voice]
Are you sure you're all right
145
00:06:44,475 --> 00:06:46,680
about the 40,000
descending here?
146
00:06:46,713 --> 00:06:48,116
Oh, no, it's fine, honestly.
147
00:06:48,149 --> 00:06:49,720
-The more, the merrier.
-Okay.
148
00:06:49,753 --> 00:06:51,724
I actually really want Holly
to meet Susie.
149
00:06:51,757 --> 00:06:54,161
I didn't know I did, but I do.
150
00:06:54,194 --> 00:06:56,633
-[cellphone rings]
-Oh.
151
00:06:56,666 --> 00:06:58,571
[ringing continues]
152
00:06:58,604 --> 00:07:00,875
-Hi, Holly!
-But I actually upped
153
00:07:00,908 --> 00:07:03,179
and changed parishes to Reading.
154
00:07:03,212 --> 00:07:04,649
-Oh.
-To be with Chris
155
00:07:04,682 --> 00:07:07,154
and his two kids. Two of them.
156
00:07:07,187 --> 00:07:09,659
[exhales deeply]
I never had kids,
157
00:07:09,692 --> 00:07:11,930
never wanted them,
never once regretted it.
158
00:07:11,963 --> 00:07:15,203
Children are not easy. Right?
159
00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,677
So I gather, yeah.
160
00:07:19,478 --> 00:07:22,752
-This is very good wine.
-[glass clatters]
161
00:07:22,785 --> 00:07:24,856
-Where's this wine from?
-[Paul] Hiya!
162
00:07:24,889 --> 00:07:27,160
Oh, Paul's here. Great.
Good on Paul.
163
00:07:28,597 --> 00:07:29,565
-Hey.
-[Ally] Hi.
164
00:07:31,837 --> 00:07:33,808
Oh. Fuck me. What's this?
Intervention?
165
00:07:33,841 --> 00:07:35,511
-Yeah.
-Hi, Paul.
166
00:07:35,544 --> 00:07:37,949
Hey, Sue. Sorry, I won't hug you
'cause I reek a little bit.
167
00:07:37,982 --> 00:07:39,986
Um, sorry. I wasn't
expecting to see anyone.
168
00:07:40,019 --> 00:07:41,890
-Yeah, I should have texted you.
-[Darren] Paul?
169
00:07:41,923 --> 00:07:43,126
-This is Siobhan.
-Is it?
170
00:07:43,159 --> 00:07:44,629
-[Darren] Mm-hmm.
-Hello.
171
00:07:44,662 --> 00:07:46,900
-Hi.
-I cocked up like a big idiot,
172
00:07:46,933 --> 00:07:48,571
got my weeks in a...
in a tizz.
173
00:07:48,604 --> 00:07:50,541
The... The meal out
is next week,
174
00:07:50,574 --> 00:07:52,043
and the meal
we're hosting is now.
175
00:07:53,079 --> 00:07:54,849
-Is it?
-Yeah.
176
00:07:55,483 --> 00:07:58,724
Brilliant. Okay. Uh, I...
I need a little shower,
177
00:07:58,757 --> 00:08:01,095
so I'll, um,
see you folks in a bit.
178
00:08:01,128 --> 00:08:03,667
-Any more up there?
-[laughter]
179
00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:04,770
-Siobhan?
-Yes.
180
00:08:04,803 --> 00:08:05,871
Cool. Right.
181
00:08:10,246 --> 00:08:12,685
[lowered voice] Hey. Hey.
182
00:08:12,718 --> 00:08:14,689
So sorry, Paul.
It's my balls up, completely.
183
00:08:14,722 --> 00:08:16,125
It's just a bit of a shock,
that's all,
184
00:08:16,158 --> 00:08:17,629
coming into a house
that looks like
185
00:08:17,662 --> 00:08:19,064
a fucking coach station
at Christmas.
186
00:08:19,097 --> 00:08:20,835
-[chuckles]
-There's enough of those fuckers
187
00:08:20,868 --> 00:08:22,672
-for a five-a-side.
-I know.
188
00:08:22,705 --> 00:08:24,943
I was really looking forward
to a nice tagine as well.
189
00:08:24,976 --> 00:08:27,715
-What are you cooking?
-A chili. Uh, a sort of chili.
190
00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:30,755
Okay.
191
00:08:30,788 --> 00:08:32,792
Uh, How's Ava? This can't be
the evening she was expecting.
192
00:08:32,825 --> 00:08:34,896
She actually seems okay.
I think she's quite
193
00:08:34,929 --> 00:08:36,600
looking forward to
a big coming out evening.
194
00:08:36,633 --> 00:08:38,604
All right, well,
I'll go and say hi
195
00:08:38,637 --> 00:08:41,710
and then get rid
of this man-hum.
196
00:08:41,743 --> 00:08:43,179
Mm. Hang on. [sniffs]
197
00:08:45,718 --> 00:08:47,253
Do you know what?
I don't hate that.
198
00:08:48,757 --> 00:08:50,193
Sorry, was that, um--
199
00:08:50,226 --> 00:08:52,264
Oh, Darren hasn't told Siobhan
about his kids.
200
00:08:52,297 --> 00:08:54,235
-Very wise.
-So, don't mention them.
201
00:08:54,268 --> 00:08:55,805
Not that we ever talk
about Darren's kids,
202
00:08:55,838 --> 00:08:57,776
unless we want to feel
better about ourselves.
203
00:08:57,809 --> 00:09:00,547
-[chuckles] Fair enough.
-[footsteps depart]
204
00:09:03,019 --> 00:09:05,157
-[indistinct conversation]
-[exhales deeply]
205
00:09:05,190 --> 00:09:06,693
[Holly speaks indistinctly]
206
00:09:06,726 --> 00:09:08,196
It's just... you know...
207
00:09:08,229 --> 00:09:10,200
No, it's just that
I thought that...
208
00:09:10,233 --> 00:09:12,104
It's just a bit much, Ava,
209
00:09:12,137 --> 00:09:14,910
like meeting your parents,
their friends,
210
00:09:14,943 --> 00:09:17,782
and, you know, an actual vicar,
just like we're getting married.
211
00:09:17,815 --> 00:09:19,686
No, I get it. Sorry.
212
00:09:19,719 --> 00:09:22,692
I just thought...
I was just being silly.
213
00:09:22,725 --> 00:09:23,927
I... I'll make sure
it's just us.
214
00:09:24,562 --> 00:09:26,365
It was a nice thought.
It really was.
215
00:09:28,971 --> 00:09:30,373
It'll be great
to meet your mum and dad.
216
00:09:30,406 --> 00:09:32,277
No, it'll be boring.
217
00:09:37,187 --> 00:09:40,060
All right then, folks. Let's
get this fucking party started
218
00:09:40,093 --> 00:09:41,930
-[laughter]
-Who said pass the parcel?
219
00:09:41,963 --> 00:09:43,199
-[doorbell rings]
-[Ava] I'll get it!
220
00:09:43,232 --> 00:09:46,339
Oh. [sighs]
221
00:09:46,372 --> 00:09:47,140
-Hi.
-Hey.
222
00:09:48,977 --> 00:09:50,681
Taxi for Darren?
223
00:09:50,714 --> 00:09:52,283
Thanks, Ava.
I'll take this from here.
224
00:09:55,256 --> 00:09:58,831
I'd like you to drive
my mobile phone around London.
225
00:09:58,864 --> 00:10:00,066
Is this some sort of a joke?
226
00:10:01,468 --> 00:10:04,041
It's 200 pounds there...
227
00:10:04,074 --> 00:10:05,645
or should it...
should it be more?
228
00:10:05,678 --> 00:10:07,682
How much to hire you
for the whole night?
229
00:10:07,715 --> 00:10:09,218
-This ain't Pretty Woman, mate.
-500?
230
00:10:09,251 --> 00:10:11,155
200 now and the rest
when I pick up the phone?
231
00:10:11,188 --> 00:10:13,661
Please, just drive it around.
My wife is looking for me,
232
00:10:13,694 --> 00:10:14,930
and my children are
from The Shining.
233
00:10:14,963 --> 00:10:16,700
Please, I'm desperate.
I'm a desperate man.
234
00:10:16,733 --> 00:10:20,874
I mean, I'm paying 500 pounds
to give a phone a ride in a car.
235
00:10:22,110 --> 00:10:25,183
-Go on then.
-God love ya. Thank you.
236
00:10:28,256 --> 00:10:30,695
I mean, they do sound
like nightmare kids.
237
00:10:30,728 --> 00:10:33,266
I tried so hard with them.
So hard.
238
00:10:33,299 --> 00:10:35,170
But they... they just
wouldn't accept me.
239
00:10:35,203 --> 00:10:36,907
-Oh.
-And of course,
240
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:39,211
Chris refused to take sides,
which, of course, meant--
241
00:10:39,244 --> 00:10:41,249
That he absolutely
did take sides.
242
00:10:41,282 --> 00:10:43,085
Oh, I'm so sorry, Susie.
243
00:10:43,620 --> 00:10:45,123
-Thank you.
-I bet you won't miss Reading,
244
00:10:45,156 --> 00:10:46,826
-though, will you?
-No.
245
00:10:47,595 --> 00:10:50,267
Although I do think Reading
had a big part to play
246
00:10:50,300 --> 00:10:52,771
-in why his kids were such...
-Fuckers?
247
00:10:53,305 --> 00:10:56,078
Well, obviously I would never
say that 'cause that's...
248
00:10:56,111 --> 00:11:00,721
very unchristian language,
but, yeah, total fuckers.
249
00:11:00,754 --> 00:11:02,257
-[chuckles]
-[knock on door]
250
00:11:02,290 --> 00:11:03,125
[Ava] Come in.
251
00:11:05,063 --> 00:11:08,703
Hey, darling. Just, uh,
came to check you're okay?
252
00:11:10,039 --> 00:11:11,375
-Fine.
-Yeah?
253
00:11:17,320 --> 00:11:19,491
So, Mum told me about Holly.
[laughs]
254
00:11:19,525 --> 00:11:21,162
-[claps hands]
-That's...
255
00:11:21,195 --> 00:11:26,138
I'm so excited to meet her.
When does she get here?
256
00:11:26,171 --> 00:11:28,409
-Soon, I hope.
-Mm-hmm.
257
00:11:28,442 --> 00:11:30,514
I think she's still coming,
but...
258
00:11:30,547 --> 00:11:33,186
-[doorbell rings]
-Was that the door?
259
00:11:33,219 --> 00:11:34,756
Uh, um...
260
00:11:34,789 --> 00:11:36,058
Yeah, I think so. Maybe.
Oh, okay.
261
00:11:36,091 --> 00:11:37,026
Yeah.
262
00:11:41,803 --> 00:11:44,207
-All right, Bagpuss.
-Hey. It's the prodigal son.
263
00:11:45,911 --> 00:11:47,381
You should have called ahead.
264
00:11:47,414 --> 00:11:49,786
I'd have slaughtered a lamb
or made you, I don't know,
265
00:11:49,819 --> 00:11:51,923
a fucking coat of many colors
or something.
266
00:11:51,956 --> 00:11:54,027
-Everything okay?
-Uh, no.
267
00:11:57,334 --> 00:12:00,206
-All right.
-I've got a big favor to ask.
268
00:12:00,239 --> 00:12:02,344
My friend from the ante-natal
group is a bit pissed.
269
00:12:02,377 --> 00:12:04,014
He's very pissed.
270
00:12:05,049 --> 00:12:06,285
Right.
271
00:12:06,887 --> 00:12:08,791
As in he's too pissed
to go home.
272
00:12:08,824 --> 00:12:10,493
He's on thin ice as it is
with his partner.
273
00:12:10,527 --> 00:12:15,036
Do you think he could just
dry out here, just for a bit?
274
00:12:15,069 --> 00:12:16,807
-[sighs]
-I can't take him to Maya's.
275
00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:18,076
Where is he now,
this pissed man?
276
00:12:18,109 --> 00:12:19,311
I've got him propped up
around the back.
277
00:12:19,344 --> 00:12:22,217
I wanted to speak to you
first and explain,
278
00:12:22,250 --> 00:12:25,056
but he's waiting for me
to let him in.
279
00:12:25,089 --> 00:12:27,361
We've got a bit
of a full house, mate.
280
00:12:27,394 --> 00:12:29,298
And as it happens, this is
a big night for your sister,
281
00:12:29,331 --> 00:12:31,903
so I don't love the idea
of anything distracting.
282
00:12:31,936 --> 00:12:33,941
-[Ally yelps]
-[Darren] Paul?
283
00:12:33,974 --> 00:12:35,511
-[clamor]
-[Siobhan] Jesus Christ.
284
00:12:35,544 --> 00:12:38,049
[indistinct shouting]
285
00:12:38,082 --> 00:12:39,451
-What's up?
-Oh, God.
286
00:12:39,484 --> 00:12:41,222
Hey, hey, what's up?
287
00:12:41,255 --> 00:12:43,594
Look, oh, got you now!
Got--Aah! Oh! Oh, oh.
288
00:12:43,627 --> 00:12:46,399
-Aah! Get off me.
-What the fuck am I looking at?
289
00:12:46,432 --> 00:12:48,504
[grunting]
290
00:12:48,537 --> 00:12:51,977
Whoa! Hey! Fucking...
Oi, oi, oi!
291
00:12:52,010 --> 00:12:54,949
-Get off him, you cunt!
-[groaning]
292
00:12:56,986 --> 00:12:59,258
[groaning]
293
00:12:59,291 --> 00:13:00,393
[laughter]
294
00:13:00,426 --> 00:13:02,865
Then the sweaty dicker just
295
00:13:02,898 --> 00:13:06,138
drops down over the wall,
like, out of nowhere,
296
00:13:06,171 --> 00:13:08,209
and I yelped 'cause
I thought that we were--
297
00:13:08,242 --> 00:13:09,478
we were gonna be robbed.
298
00:13:09,512 --> 00:13:11,616
Then suddenly,
Carl just swooped down
299
00:13:11,649 --> 00:13:14,154
onto him like a big, bald swan.
300
00:13:14,187 --> 00:13:16,358
-You're a hero, Carl.
-[Darren] Yeah, Carl.
301
00:13:16,391 --> 00:13:17,995
I just had a fucking fight.
302
00:13:18,028 --> 00:13:20,233
-Yes, you did, mate.
-Oh, fucking hell.
303
00:13:20,266 --> 00:13:22,605
Fucking Jesus. Yes!
304
00:13:22,638 --> 00:13:24,542
Oh, I haven't had a fight
since Spike Island.
305
00:13:24,575 --> 00:13:27,280
I haven't been this happy
since Spike fucking Island.
306
00:13:27,313 --> 00:13:28,951
I... I'm so sorry.
307
00:13:28,984 --> 00:13:30,487
Yes, and so you should be, mate.
308
00:13:30,521 --> 00:13:33,426
Carl, you're a Stone Roses fan?
309
00:13:33,459 --> 00:13:35,430
Spike Island, Paul.
310
00:13:35,463 --> 00:13:37,869
Just, yeah,
Spike fucking Island, you know?
311
00:13:37,902 --> 00:13:39,371
[exhales deeply, sniffles]
312
00:13:39,404 --> 00:13:41,375
Jesus Christ, Gaz. Have you
just gone and done more?
313
00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:43,179
Listen, folks. Um...
314
00:13:43,212 --> 00:13:44,381
-Oh, oh.
-Hey, look,
315
00:13:44,414 --> 00:13:47,020
I'm... I'm all apologies,
okay?
316
00:13:47,053 --> 00:13:51,028
But I've got a baby on the way,
all right, like Luke here,
317
00:13:51,061 --> 00:13:52,999
-and we're just...
-Right.
318
00:13:53,032 --> 00:13:55,036
[sighs] ...we're just coping,
you know?
319
00:13:55,069 --> 00:13:58,309
We got a connection,
me and Luke, haven't we?
320
00:13:58,342 --> 00:13:59,879
You know, I think
some people, they...
321
00:13:59,912 --> 00:14:02,184
they... they come into your life
to teach you something.
322
00:14:02,217 --> 00:14:04,021
[sniffles] You know?
323
00:14:04,054 --> 00:14:05,423
And your son has done just that.
324
00:14:05,456 --> 00:14:07,194
Unbelievable.
325
00:14:07,227 --> 00:14:09,164
I think we've both kind
of realized, haven't we, Luke,
326
00:14:09,197 --> 00:14:12,236
that we've got to just squeeze
the decadence in now, don't we?
327
00:14:14,107 --> 00:14:16,345
"We"?
328
00:14:16,378 --> 00:14:18,550
Are you doing fucking coke,
Luke?
329
00:14:18,583 --> 00:14:21,623
No, I'm not! He is.
He definitely is.
330
00:14:21,656 --> 00:14:23,459
-I think he's doing a lot.
-Well, I'll tell you what, mate.
331
00:14:23,492 --> 00:14:25,698
Maybe the place not to bring
332
00:14:25,731 --> 00:14:27,902
a character like that
in that state
333
00:14:27,935 --> 00:14:29,939
is your mum and dad's
fucking house.
334
00:14:29,972 --> 00:14:31,910
I've already told you, this is
a big night for your sister.
335
00:14:31,943 --> 00:14:33,914
She's bringing
her first girlfriend round.
336
00:14:33,947 --> 00:14:36,085
-Ava's got a girlfriend?
-Oh, it's...
337
00:14:36,118 --> 00:14:37,555
You're gonna be a parent,
Luke, all right?
338
00:14:37,588 --> 00:14:39,358
Make better fucking decisions!
339
00:14:39,391 --> 00:14:42,164
[muffled] Because it's gonna be
one thing after another.
340
00:14:42,197 --> 00:14:44,334
Let me tell you...
[continues indistinctly]
341
00:14:52,350 --> 00:14:53,953
You know, for what
it's worth, I get it.
342
00:14:54,487 --> 00:14:55,724
Fatherhood can be
a scary thing.
343
00:14:55,757 --> 00:14:57,160
Sure how would you know?
344
00:14:58,630 --> 00:15:00,700
Uh... Dad told me.
345
00:15:02,738 --> 00:15:06,111
And what have you told her
regards where you're at?
346
00:15:06,144 --> 00:15:08,249
Her at home?
347
00:15:08,282 --> 00:15:11,222
Uh, that I'm, uh,
caught up at work.
348
00:15:11,255 --> 00:15:12,658
Hmm.
349
00:15:12,691 --> 00:15:17,000
No, fella, don't do that.
Don't lie. Go home.
350
00:15:17,033 --> 00:15:19,137
She's laid up on bricks
having your baby.
351
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:21,075
Don't fucking lie to her.
352
00:15:21,108 --> 00:15:22,410
There's nothin' worse
than a liar.
353
00:15:22,443 --> 00:15:23,680
[door closes]
354
00:15:23,713 --> 00:15:25,383
-All right, folks...
-[claps hands]
355
00:15:25,416 --> 00:15:27,120
After that...
after that palaver,
356
00:15:27,153 --> 00:15:29,424
I think the least
we can do is get you drunk.
357
00:15:29,457 --> 00:15:32,430
-So, who's for red?
-Well, can I get one of those?
358
00:15:32,463 --> 00:15:36,740
No! Fucking bare knuckle
Barbie, you can't.
359
00:15:36,773 --> 00:15:39,378
Jesus Christ.
What were you thinking?
360
00:15:39,411 --> 00:15:41,415
And why can't you just use
the fucking front door
361
00:15:41,448 --> 00:15:42,985
like normal people? Hey?
362
00:15:43,018 --> 00:15:45,356
I mean,
look at the state of Carl.
363
00:15:47,193 --> 00:15:49,498
-You all right, Carl?
-Fine now, thank you.
364
00:15:49,532 --> 00:15:52,037
-Good.
-Yeah, just fine.
365
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:53,674
It's very nice, you know.
366
00:15:53,707 --> 00:15:56,278
-Hmm? What is?
-The inside.
367
00:15:57,347 --> 00:15:58,550
Your house.
368
00:15:59,752 --> 00:16:00,654
Thank you.
369
00:16:02,223 --> 00:16:04,328
-Can I get you anything?
-Oh.
370
00:16:04,361 --> 00:16:05,664
Got a cheese sandwich, have you?
371
00:16:05,697 --> 00:16:07,267
-A cheese sandwich?
-Ooh.
372
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:08,068
No!
373
00:16:09,605 --> 00:16:12,009
One cheese sandwich
for Carl coming up.
374
00:16:13,445 --> 00:16:16,185
Ah, some fucker
been in my chutneys?
375
00:16:16,218 --> 00:16:17,688
Has anyone seen Ava?
376
00:16:21,662 --> 00:16:23,600
[sniffles]
377
00:16:23,633 --> 00:16:26,171
[footsteps approach]
378
00:16:28,777 --> 00:16:31,014
-What's happened?
-[sniffles]
379
00:16:32,685 --> 00:16:35,022
Holly's not coming round.
380
00:16:35,591 --> 00:16:37,728
-Okay.
-[sniffles]
381
00:16:37,761 --> 00:16:40,266
I wanted to do
this big coming out thing,
382
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:41,602
and she's not into it.
383
00:16:42,771 --> 00:16:44,742
[sniffles]
384
00:16:44,775 --> 00:16:46,211
She thinks all that
"meet the family" stuff
385
00:16:46,244 --> 00:16:48,316
is a bit too much.
386
00:16:48,349 --> 00:16:49,619
Well, just... Well, that's fine.
387
00:16:49,652 --> 00:16:51,622
We'll just give her
a bit more time.
388
00:16:52,457 --> 00:16:55,229
She says no one really has
a big coming out thing anymore.
389
00:16:56,666 --> 00:16:59,204
And I just feel
so stupid and naive.
390
00:16:59,237 --> 00:17:01,208
There is not one thing
about you that's stupid.
391
00:17:01,241 --> 00:17:02,745
Do you understand?
392
00:17:02,778 --> 00:17:04,515
We've only been seeing
each other a couple of weeks.
393
00:17:04,548 --> 00:17:09,091
What was I thinking?
What if I've ruined everything?
394
00:17:09,124 --> 00:17:11,362
Break... Breakups are
always hard, my darling,
395
00:17:11,395 --> 00:17:13,533
-especially the first time--
-We haven't broken up.
396
00:17:14,702 --> 00:17:16,272
-Okay.
-I'm not upset
397
00:17:16,305 --> 00:17:18,543
because we split up. I'm...
398
00:17:18,576 --> 00:17:21,683
I'm embarrassed at being
old-fashioned and just stupid.
399
00:17:21,716 --> 00:17:24,388
All right, I... I see. Sorry.
400
00:17:24,421 --> 00:17:25,658
We'll still see each other.
401
00:17:25,691 --> 00:17:28,095
Holly just doesn't
wanna come round tonight
402
00:17:28,128 --> 00:17:31,268
to meet you two...
and everyone.
403
00:17:31,301 --> 00:17:32,705
Right.
404
00:17:32,738 --> 00:17:34,474
Well, I mean...
405
00:17:35,109 --> 00:17:37,380
You know, at... at least we...
406
00:17:39,184 --> 00:17:40,420
We know you better now,
don't we?
407
00:17:40,453 --> 00:17:41,690
Mm-hmm.
408
00:17:41,723 --> 00:17:44,696
You know, we know
that you're gay. It's...
409
00:17:44,729 --> 00:17:47,702
It's also not... not a big deal
at all, by the way,
410
00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:48,670
in case you were wondering
if it was.
411
00:17:48,703 --> 00:17:51,676
No, I want it to be a big deal.
412
00:17:51,709 --> 00:17:53,378
It is a big deal for me.
413
00:17:54,715 --> 00:17:56,452
Maybe that was
my stupid mistake.
414
00:17:56,485 --> 00:17:58,557
I wanted you.
415
00:17:58,590 --> 00:18:01,428
I wanted my parents
to be a part of this.
416
00:18:01,461 --> 00:18:04,167
I wanted this to be
my moment. Mine. Mine.
417
00:18:05,704 --> 00:18:07,608
Some affirmation of me.
418
00:18:07,641 --> 00:18:10,413
Yeah, listen, sweetheart,
I think that's absolutely
419
00:18:10,446 --> 00:18:11,850
what we all want as well,
isn't it? I think--
420
00:18:11,883 --> 00:18:13,152
I think that what
we're trying to say...
421
00:18:13,185 --> 00:18:14,622
-Yeah.
-...is that we will always
422
00:18:14,655 --> 00:18:17,460
love you completely, no matter
who you tell us you are.
423
00:18:17,493 --> 00:18:18,563
Well, I want it to matter.
424
00:18:20,600 --> 00:18:24,708
I know you're trying to make me
feel comfortable, and thank you.
425
00:18:25,409 --> 00:18:27,413
But I want this
to matter as much...
426
00:18:29,885 --> 00:18:32,289
...every inch as much,
for once...
427
00:18:32,858 --> 00:18:35,162
...as anything that's
happening in Luke's life.
428
00:18:36,766 --> 00:18:38,235
And it really hasn't helped
429
00:18:38,268 --> 00:18:40,473
that he's dragged in
that pisshead downstairs.
430
00:18:40,507 --> 00:18:42,343
Right, okay, tell you what.
You stay here.
431
00:18:42,376 --> 00:18:43,613
We're gonna go
and clear the house out,
432
00:18:43,646 --> 00:18:45,416
and then we'll be back,
okay? Don't move.
433
00:18:50,627 --> 00:18:53,265
-[footsteps approach]
-How's she getting on up there?
434
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:56,338
-Not terribly well. And--
-Your wee girl? Ava, was it?
435
00:18:56,371 --> 00:18:58,710
-Ava, yeah.
-Having a bit of an upset?
436
00:18:58,743 --> 00:19:00,614
-First bit of heartbreak.
-Yeah.
437
00:19:00,647 --> 00:19:02,618
Just as well.
I fucking hate chili.
438
00:19:02,651 --> 00:19:04,789
hate anything to do
with cowboys.
439
00:19:04,822 --> 00:19:07,394
Thank you for a lovely evenin'.
440
00:19:07,427 --> 00:19:09,599
You should piss off, too.
441
00:19:09,632 --> 00:19:10,901
You're next door,
as I understand it.
442
00:19:10,934 --> 00:19:12,805
-Yeah, he's--
-But you, Snorty Spice,
443
00:19:12,838 --> 00:19:15,243
where is it you call home?
We'll drop you in our Uber.
444
00:19:15,276 --> 00:19:17,247
Oh, actually,
could I get in on that?
445
00:19:17,280 --> 00:19:18,249
If you don't mind dropping
me off at the station.
446
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:19,384
Yeah, of course.
447
00:19:19,417 --> 00:19:21,790
All right if I stay here,
is it, mate?
448
00:19:21,823 --> 00:19:23,527
If I go home in this state,
she'll kill me.
449
00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,498
What age are you to be
hanging out with this child?
450
00:19:26,532 --> 00:19:28,235
You must be near my age
and his.
451
00:19:28,268 --> 00:19:29,237
-Move your boney arse.
-[exhales deeply]
452
00:19:29,270 --> 00:19:30,406
[mouths words]
453
00:19:30,439 --> 00:19:31,943
[mouths words]
454
00:19:31,976 --> 00:19:34,281
-Thank you, Carl.
-[mouths words]
455
00:19:34,314 --> 00:19:36,519
Oh, you're welcome, Paul.
456
00:19:36,552 --> 00:19:38,489
Just trying to be
a good neighbor.
457
00:19:38,523 --> 00:19:41,228
Well, next time it's my turn to
have a big fight on your patio.
458
00:19:41,261 --> 00:19:43,533
-Oh, look forward to that.
-[chuckles]
459
00:19:43,566 --> 00:19:44,936
-Bye, Lukie.
-See you, Carl.
460
00:19:44,969 --> 00:19:46,506
Bye, all.
461
00:19:46,539 --> 00:19:47,473
Bye.
462
00:19:48,977 --> 00:19:50,547
[exhales deeply]
463
00:19:50,580 --> 00:19:52,283
Sorry. What...
What's happening with Ava?
464
00:19:52,316 --> 00:19:53,753
[door closes]
465
00:20:02,470 --> 00:20:05,375
Could we make a quick pit stop
at this wee corner shop, please?
466
00:20:07,881 --> 00:20:12,323
Here, precious. I'm stuck
in the middle back here.
467
00:20:12,356 --> 00:20:14,762
Would you mind running in
and grabbing me a deck of fags?
468
00:20:25,851 --> 00:20:28,589
That card expired weeks ago.
Mate, can we get going, please?
469
00:20:33,398 --> 00:20:34,300
Oh, hello.
470
00:20:36,004 --> 00:20:40,412
Uh... he appears to have
dropped his cocaine.
471
00:20:41,348 --> 00:20:44,321
Can you drop us at
the nearest pub, please, mate?
472
00:20:44,354 --> 00:20:48,329
I've got twins. Two girls, 13.
They're very full on.
473
00:20:48,362 --> 00:20:50,533
-Jesus. What?
-I'm sorry, Siobhan.
474
00:20:53,071 --> 00:20:54,875
I think I'm in love with you.
475
00:20:59,484 --> 00:21:00,521
[under breath]
Well, you don't get
476
00:21:00,554 --> 00:21:01,856
any of this stuff in Reading.
477
00:21:06,666 --> 00:21:09,004
Got a bit sexy there tonight
a couple of times, didn't it,
478
00:21:09,037 --> 00:21:12,477
with the fight
and the pheromones?
479
00:21:12,511 --> 00:21:13,780
Or was I imagining it?
480
00:21:13,813 --> 00:21:15,415
No, it did get a bit sexy.
You're right.
481
00:21:21,061 --> 00:21:23,331
We should break
our drought soon.
482
00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:26,906
-We should, but not tonight.
-No, not tonight. Fuck, no.
483
00:21:26,939 --> 00:21:29,044
Christ, I just wanna sleep.
484
00:21:29,077 --> 00:21:30,345
Mm.
485
00:21:31,414 --> 00:21:32,685
[knock on door]
486
00:21:32,718 --> 00:21:35,056
Mum, Dad, I don't really
wanna talk right now,
487
00:21:35,089 --> 00:21:36,491
if that's all right.
488
00:21:40,567 --> 00:21:41,502
Just me.
489
00:21:43,438 --> 00:21:44,608
Is it all right if I come in?
490
00:22:01,441 --> 00:22:04,781
I'm sorry for stealing focus
again tonight.
491
00:22:06,017 --> 00:22:08,590
I know it's a bit of a habit.
492
00:22:08,623 --> 00:22:10,661
It's just...
493
00:22:10,694 --> 00:22:14,067
There was this 36-year-old
man-child chasing me around,
494
00:22:14,100 --> 00:22:17,406
and... this was the tree
that I ran up.
495
00:22:20,580 --> 00:22:21,882
[chuckles]
496
00:22:24,755 --> 00:22:29,765
So, listen, I hear that
you have a girlfriend.
497
00:22:34,742 --> 00:22:36,077
That's massive!
498
00:22:37,781 --> 00:22:39,651
Do you fancy telling me
all about her?
499
00:22:40,920 --> 00:22:42,389
Whoever she is?
37531
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