All language subtitles for a123

You'll have to get out here, fellas.

Thanks for the lift.

Goodbye.

How about a lift, mister?

Sure.
- Jump on the back.

Come on!

Are you all set?!

Okay! Let her go!

What's the big idea?!

Oh, what's the matter?
Can't you take a joke?

Jump back on.
I was only kidding.

Well, it's a good thing you're apologized!

We sure did told him off, didn't I?

Yeah.

This is it, fellas.

Thank you very much.

Ahh.

What happened?

Uh, good morning.

Good morning.
What can I do for you?

Why, we'd like a job.

Uh, what kind of employment do you prefer?

Oh, anything you got, missus.

You see, we're down to our last
six bucks, aren't we, Ollie?

Well, uh, kindly be seated.
I'll talk to you in a little while.

Thank you, miss.

Hello?

Yes, this is the Sterling Employment Agency.

Who?

Yes.

Oh, yes. I understand.

Oh, good morning, Mrs. Vandevere.

I'm in a terrible predicament.

I'm giving a party tonight,

and my maid and butler
have left me without notice.

Could you send me over
a couple to replace them?

Oh, I'm sorry. I haven't any on the list,

but I'll see what I can do for you.

Do you wish a single or married couple?

I prefer a married couple.

All right, Mrs. Vandevere.

I'll do my best to find you
a maid and butler.

Goodbye.

Too bad you wasn't a woman.

That'd be a swell job for us.

Ohh!

Uh, pardon me, madam, but
did I understand you say

that you were looking
for a maid and a butler?

Yes. Do you know of anyone?

I know a couple that
would just fill the bill.

You do? Are they available?

I could get them for you
right away, if not sooner.

Well, I'd appreciate it very much

if you'd have them go
to this address immediately.

Yes, ma'am.

Thank you very much.
- Thank you.

Come, Stanley.

- Goodbye.
- Bye.

Goodbye.

What's the idea?
We don't know any couple.

Do I?

You don't, but I do.

Is that so?
- Mm-hmm.

Well...

Ah... Very nice, my dear.

It's wonderful what you can do
when you have to.

Thank you, baldy.
You're such a dear.

Oh, uh, what's the latest on
the maid-and-butler situation?

I haven't heard a thing,
and I'm terribly worried.

Oh, don't you worry a bit.

If the worse comes to the worst,
why, you can serve a buffet.

Oh, excuse me.

Uh, are you the head butler?

I am Mr. Vandevere.

Oh. Well, we are from
the employment agency.

Oh, yes.

Uh, we're the best they could do
at the last moment.

So I can see.

Well, come right in.

Thank you.

Come, dear.

Uh, this way.

Oh, darling, this is
the new maid and butler.

Uh, Mrs. Vandevere.

How do you do, ma'am?

What a strange-looking person.

Well, what do you expect
on a few hours' notice?

If you'd have gone to the trouble we did

to get us this job...

uh, what he means... I mean, she means is

that this is the best they could do
upon such short notice.

Oh, never mind, dear.

Any old port in a storm, you know.

I suppose you're right.
Call Pierre.

What's your name?

Uh, my name is Ollie, and this is Agnes.

Uh, a slight accident.

Did you ring, madame?

Yes, Pierre.

This is the new maid and butler.

Show them to their quarters
and explain their duties.

Yes, madame.

Come, dear.

This way.

Ah. Well... well, well.

No, thank you.

No, thank you.

They're good.

No, thank you.

Well...

Ohh!

There's everything
from soup to nuts, folks.

Come and get it.

What do I do now?

You can take these cocktails!

What, all of them?

Certainly!

See if you can do that
without spilling them.

Okay, boys, sit down.

Now, don't nobody eat
till miss vandevere gets here.

She went to change her dress.

Well, kid, how does she look?

Well, folks, the joke's on me.

I've got you all seated wrong.

The old guy wants you all mixed up.

I'll fix it, just...

uh, say, you.

Me?
- You come over here, yes.

And bring your... your eats with you.

And you go over there
and take your eats with you.

That's right.

Now, that's all right.
Now, don't get excited.

I'll have it all fixed.

And you go over there.
Take your eats with you, now.

And you go over there
and take your food with you.

And you go over there
and take your food with you.

And you come over here.

And you come over here.

And you go over there.

Listen... I want to...

Will you keep quiet just a moment, please?

And quit interrupting.

And you come over here
and bring your eats with you.

No, no, no, no, no.
Don't sit there. Over here.

Bring your eats with you.
Don't get 'em mixed up.

And you go over there.
Just a minute. I want to...

now, you better go sit down.

You come right here and sit down.

Right there.

No, no, no. Don't sit.

Now, you go over there
and take your eats with you.

And you go over there.
That's right.

Come on. Move fast, folks, please.
- Don't you realize...

Now, just take it easy, old boy.
We'll have everything all fixed.

Oh, no, no, no.

Yeah, over there, please.
Take your eats with you.

And you come over here.

Don't you sit.
No, no, don't sit there, please.

Now, one of you boys go right over there.

And, you, come right here.

No, no, no, you must have to take up

on this seat right here.
That's right.

Now, if you'll just... that's it.

Just go right around there
and get your seat...

And get your food.

You got... that's... now...

Sit down, will you, pop?

"Pop"?!

And if you'll go right up there...

Right there, and sit
right there. That's it.

No, no, no, no, no.
Please, sir. On this side.

Now, you sit right over there.
That's right.

Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
No, over here, please.

And if you'll sit right there.
That's right.

No, no, no.
Not you... the other one.

That's right.
Now, you sit right there.

And you go over there, please, yes.

And then, you sit right there.

I'll have it in just a moment, now.

And you sit right there.

And you right here, little lady.
That's right.

Now, if you'll come...

Stop!

Everyone, sit down right where you are!

Agnes... will you please serve
the salad without any dressing?

What kind of a joint is this?

What's the matter?

He wants me to serve the salad undressed.

Well, if he wants the salad undressed,

that's the way he'll have it.

Go get the salad.

Wha... what's the matter
with Mr. Vandevere?

Ohhhh!

Ohh!

Why, you...

Hey! Come here!

Stop!

Come on!

I'm sorry.
I didn't mean it.

I tell you... I'm sorry, I tell you!

I didn't have my glasses on!

Why don't you be careful?!

You almost blew my brains out!

Hey, loan me your broom.

Ow!

Well, here we are at last...
right down in the gutter.

I wonder what's the matter with us.

We're just as good as other people,

yet we don't seem to advance ourselves.

We never get anyplace.

You know what the trouble is, don't you?

We've never had no education.

That's what's the matter.

You see, we're not illiterate enough.

I guess you're right.

Sure, I'm right.

You see, if we went to
school like other people,

we... we would learn
our three r's, and today,

there'd be no job too small
for us, believe me.

What do you mean, "three r's"?

Well, reading, writing, and...

And figurin'.

Figurin'?

Sure. You know,
two and two makes somethin',

and four and four makes somethin', and...

it's different to the first...

you mean 'rithmetic.

Yeah, I knew what it meant,
but I couldn't say it.

Say, I think you've got something there.

Have I?
Yeah.

After we finish work today,

we'll start going to night school.

That's a good idea.

Too bad we didn't think of that before.

Yeah.

Thanks.

Don't throw that on the sidewalk.

Well, we're going to clean it up anyway.

I want to thank you officers
for your quick action.

Don't thank us.

Those are the boys that made the capture.

My boys, you've done a service for me
that I can never forget.

You've saved me hundreds
of thousands of dollars.

What can I do to repay you?
- I don't know, sir.

Maybe I could give you
some work to do in the bank.

Well, that's very kind of you, sir,

but I'm afraid we wouldn't
be of much help to you.

You see, we haven't got any
education, have we, Stan?

No, we don't know a thing, do we?

That's right.

In fact, we were just talking
of going to night school.

I see.

Diamonds in the rough.

And all you need is a little
Polish with the proper scent.

If it's an education you want,

you shall have the finest
that money can buy.

What do you think?

What do you think?

Well, it'll save us the trouble
of going to night school.

It's a go.

Ohh!

Do you see what I see?

What is it?

I think they're entitled to
the royal initiation, don't you?

By all means.

Now, listen... you round up the boys.

We'll all have a lot of fun.

I'll start them off in the maze.

So, this is Oxford.

Yes, sir, I think we're going
to like it here. - Mm-hmm.

Oh, pardon me, but haven't
you come to the wrong college?

Well, this is Oxford, isn't it?

Yes, but, uh, you're dressed for Eton.

Well, that's swell.

We haven't eaten since breakfast, have we?

"Haven't eaten
since breakfast."

It's your idea of us
being dressed like this.

No wonder everyone's staring at us.

Well, gentlemen, if I can be
of any help to you at all,

I'm entirely at your service.

Thank you very much.
Thank you very much.

I wonder if you can tell us
where to find the head teacher.

Oh, you mean the dean.

Why, it'd be a pleasure
to escort you there myself.

Thank you.
Thank you.

Oh, by the way, have you a pass?

A pass?

Yes, you must have a pass to see the dean.

Well, where do we get it?

From the pass professor.

Well, where do we find him?

Well, now, you see that entrance
in the hedge over there?

Yeah.

Well, now, when you enter there,

you go to the right, then to the left,

then to the right again,
and then to the right again.

Then after you've been to the right,

you keep going right until
you come to the left turn again.

Then you go right again

until you find yourself left
on the right side.

Huh.
Oh, I know it sounds a bit complicated,

but if you keep to the right,
you simply can't go wrong.

Oh, thank you.

Now, then, when you come to the exit

on the other side of the hedge,
you'll see a sign with a hand

pointing to the professor's lodge.

Is that to the right or to the left?

My dear old thing, it makes no difference.

Now, let me get this straight.

We go to the left when we... after the...

I have the directions, Stanley,
clearly in my mind.

Thank you very much.

We'll be right back.
- Yes.

Goodbye.
- Cheerio. I'll be waiting for you.

Goodbye. Goodbye.

Bye.
Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Well, cheerio.
Toodle-oo.

Gee, he sure is a swell guy, isn't he?

He certainly is.

I knew it the minute I set eyes on him.
- You did?

Yeah. That's one thing I pride
myself on is reading character.

Is that so?
Yeah.

No, no, no.
To your left.

Now to your right.

Left.

Now to the right.

Wait a minute.

All we're doing is going around in circles.

You know what?
What?

I think we must have taken
the wrong turning.

What do you mean, "the wrong turning"?

Well, maybe we went to the left
instead of to the right.

Remember, the fellow said,

"first, you turn to the right, then..."

all right, all right.

Now, you go to the left,
and I'll go to the right.

And whoever finds the exit first

comes back and gets the other one.

That's a good idea.

Now we're getting someplace.

Say, what are we gonna do about the trunk?

Think we better leave it here?

Why, certainly not.

We may never be able to find it again.

Well, I can't carry it.
It's too heavy.

All right. I suppose
it's up to me, as usual.

Well, I'm not as big as you are.

Get it on my back.

Well, I'm doing all I can to help you.

All right.
Slide it up.

Take it easy.

Got it all right?

It'll be all right as soon
as I get a grip on it.

You want a grip on it?

Yeah.

There we are, now.

Now, help me up.

Now, upsy-Daisy.

There we are.

All right.

Now, don't forget to holler.

I won't.

Bye.
- Goodbye.

You all right now?

Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Whoa!

Oh, Ollie?!

Where are you?!

I'm here. Where are you?

I'm here.

How can you be here if I'm here?

Well, Stan, I'm exactly where...
will you come and find me?!

Well, I will as soon as I can find myself.

What do you think I am?

I can't be in two places at once.

Here we are.

Will you show me the exit?!

Here it is.

Oh, swell. Now get me
out of here!

All right. You follow me.
We'll take the shortcut. All right.

Right this way.
- All right.

Now, don't lose me.
- I won't.

Hey, just a minute.

What did you do with the suitcases?

I put 'em on top of the trunk.

Have I been carrying these all the time?!

Get this off of my back!

Let's rest awhile. I'm tired.

I am, too.

Ohh.

Give me my handkerchief.

Thank you, Ollie.

Will you leave that alone?!

I thought you just gave it to me.

Ohh!

Now, cut that out.

Now, what's the matter now?

I just saw three hands.

Now, sit down.
You're crazy.

You've been going around
in circles all day,

and you're dizzy.

Is that what it is?

Why, certainly.
You just had a dizzy spell.

Huh.

Now let me get some rest, will you?

Never had one of those before.

Hey, Ollie, I don't want to bother you,

but I just had another one
of those dizzy spells.

So, so...

No wonder... smoking those
big, black cigars.

They're too strong for you.

Is that what it... well, certainly.

Did you see that?

Sure, it's one of those dizzy spells again.

That wasn't no dizzy spell.

Go see what it was.

I don't want to see what it...

Go see what it was and don't argue.

Hurry up. I'll wait
right here for you.

Aah!

Aaah!

Nope. Nobody there.

Just one of those dizzy spells again.

Even you look different.

Stan?! Oh, Stan?!

What? - Come on!

Okay, I'll...

aaah! Aah!

Aaah!

Aaah!

Don't leave me, Ollie!

Give me your hand!

Aah!

Aah!
Aah!

Can you beat that?

Welcome to Oxford.

You know what?

What?

I think that fella that sent us in
here made a fool out of you.

Yes, and if I ever see him again,

I'll punch him right in the nose.

I don't blame you.

Say, I thought you said
you could read character.

I can, but he was two-faced.

Oh.

You know, I'll never trust
anybody again as long as I live.

That's a good idea.

Bring them across to Johnson's quarters.

The boys have everything arranged.

Righto.

Well... how do I look?

Marvelous. Much better
than the old dean himself.

Do you think he'll ever
recognize me with this?

Never in a month of sundays.

Hurry, fellas! Here comes
Cecil with the chumps.

Ooh. Uh-oh.

Here we are.

This way, please.

Dean, may I present
the two new boys from America.

This is Dr. Ramsbottom,
the dean of our university.

Pleased to meet you, Mr. Dean.

Charmed, I'm sure.

Meet professor Push-Ha'penny,

Dr. Pigsfoot,

and his brother, Trotter.

Well, dear old things,

heartiest congratulations
and all that sort of thing

on your entrance into dear old Oxford.

I hope that our association
will be a happy union.

And we wish to show our hospitality,

true to the traditions of our college,

by giving you a most hearty
and a royal greeting.

Cheerio, I don't think.

Thank you very much.

Now, is everything in readiness

to escort these gentlemen
to their quarters?

Everything.

Then... carry on.

* For... he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* and so say all of us!

I shall be quite some time
at the lecture, Jenkins.

You may take the afternoon off.

Thank you, sir.
Thank you.

Goodbye, sir.

* For he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* which nobody can deny!

* For he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* and so say all of us!

* And so say all of us!

* And so say all of us!

* For he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* and so say all of us!

Well, gentlemen, these are your quarters.

Now, don't be afraid
to make yourselves at home.

Now, ta-ta!

Skip the gutter.

And good luck, we don't think.

Say, that dean's a swell guy, ain't he?

Now, there's a man that you can trust.

He sure is.

Gee, this is a swell joint, I don't think.

It's a pip. - Lovely.

No wonder people go to school.

Nice place to live in like this.

No flies or nothing.

I wonder how long this place has been open.

I wonder.

You'd think they would
advertise this college

to let people know that it was on the map.

Say, do you know what?

What?

We didn't have any sleep last night.

That's right.

In this excitement, I completely forgot it.

I'll tell you what let's do...

let's unpack the trunk
and make ourselves at home.

That's a good idea.

Shh.

Boy, is this the life.

Mm-hmm.

These English colleges
certainly give you the works.

Don't they, though?

You should see what they've done
to the dean's bedroom.

Fix me another snort.

Hey, fellows! KV!

Here comes the dean!

The dean?!

No, no, no.
We can't get out here.

He's coming down the hall.

What shall we do?

Did you hear that?

Sure. What is it?

I don't know. Go see.

Nobody there.

It couldn't have been somebody.

How about 40 winks?

That's a good idea.

Say, Ollie.

What now?

How about a nightcap?

Well, just one.

There's no fizzwater.

Well, get some.

There's no more nightcap.

Well, now, what would you do
in a case like that?

Go and get some.

Certainly!

Simple.

Cheerio.

I don't think.

Ripping!

Ahh.

Say, Ollie.
- What?

I wonder who that
old buzzard is over there.

Oh, probably some old cockroach

that had this room before we did.

Get a load of that puss.

Say, did you ever see a face like that

anywhere except in a zoo?

Sure.

Where?

In a monkey house.

I never thought of that.

Monkey house.

Give me some more fizzwater.

Mmm.

Say, I bet you a nickel
I can hit him in the eye.

Bet you can't.
- Bet you.

All right.

You missed!

Give me the bottle.

Dime or nothing.

All right. I'll give you
a chance to get even.

All right.
- Now.

What are you doing in my quarters?!

You've got a lot of nerve.

What do you mean, your quarters?

They're our quarters.

The dean just give them to us.

I am the dean!

Read his character.

I just did.
He's a phony.

It's another rib.

Sure, he's got ribs all over his face.

See them?

Get out of my quarters, I tell you!

You know what the trouble is?

He's got one of those dizzy spells.

Yeah, he's a "dizzy dean."

Sure, that's what he is.

Now, come on, dizzy.

Get out of here before I throw you out.

Yeah, and that goes
for me, too, "diz."

You can't...

this is an outrage.
I shall have you sent down.

I'll have you prosecuted!

Ohh!
- There, sir!

Ohh.

And as for you... you'll suffer for this.

That's a lot of baloney.

There, sir!

See here!
Of all the...

come on. Get out of here,
or we'll... we'll...

How dare you!

Who is this g...?
I'll tell him all ab...

ohh!

I shall speak to my...

Jenkins! Come on! Get out of here!

We've had enough!
Lunatics at large here!

Get out! Come on!

And stay out of here!

Who you think...

What is the meaning of this?!

You'll find out.

Hey, deanie, tell this nitwit

to get out of here and stop bothering us!

Yeah, he's trying to crash in
on our party, isn't he?

What is this all about?

Hey, Dean, tell him.

"Dean"?! I reiterate,
I am the dean!

Ah, don't give us that.

He told us he was the dean,

and he gave us these quarters,
didn't he, Stan?

He certainly did, didn't you?

Is this true, Johnson?

Yes, sir.

See, now don't you feel silly?

Yeah, get out of here and I'll...
- Silence!

You shall be expelled...

sent down for this, my lad... all of you!

This is the most disgraceful
outrage ever perpetrated

in the history of Oxford!

Report to me in the morning.
You may go.

Snitches!

- Jenkins.
- Yes, sir.

Help them to pack their things

and see they're taken
to their proper quarters.

Very good, sir.

What will the pater say when
he hears I am to be expelled?

Don't worry.

We'll see they're not here
tomorrow to testify against us.

Snitches like that have no place in Oxford.

You're right.
The dirty dogs.

That's one thing we won't
tolerate in Oxford... snitching.

Right you are!
Let's show them.

We'll do something about it.

Here you are, gentlemen.
These are your quarters.

Meredith the valet will be here
shortly to tend to your needs.

Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Good afternoon.

Well, so far so good.

Can you beat that?

What?

Look... we're only that far from home.

There's our...

come in.

How do you do, gentlemen?
I'm Meredith.

I'm Mr. Hardy.
This is my friend Mr. Laurel.

How do you do, Mr. Hardy?

How do you do, Mr. Lau...

your Lordship!

Don't you remember me, sir?

I'm Meredith!

Don't you recall... I used to
take care of you, sir?

Look out. Another rib.

Say, that's a lot of hooey.

You never saw him before in your life.

No, and I never saw you, either.

Oh, pardon me.

I understand, your Lordship,
why you don't recognize me.

Oh, it's a pity, it's a pity.

What's a pity?

Oh, it's a sad story, sir.

It was a great blow to Oxford.

You see, it's like this, sir...

when his Lordship was here before,

he was the greatest athlete
and the greatest scholar

this university ever boasted of.

And, oh, what a brilliant mind.

Are you trying to make me believe

that this is the guy you're talking about?

I know it.

I was never so sure in my life.

Brilliant mind.

Well, I've known him for years,

and he's the dumbest guy I ever saw.

Aren't you, Stanley?

I certainly am.
That's why I'm here.

Oh, pardon me, sir.
You don't understand.

I can recall your accident most vividly.

What accident?

It happened in this very room.

It was right here at this very window.

Your Lordship had just defeated Cambridge,

and you were standing there,

acknowledging the plaudits
of the entire student body.

And just as I came in
with your tea and crumpets,

the window slipped

and hit you on the head
as hard as a heavy hammer.

Huh.

And when you came to,
you'd lost your memory

and wandered away from the university.

And we'd never saw or heard
of you from that day to this.

Pardon me for being frank,
but I think that you are screwy.

Sure is nuts.
He's got bees in his cockpit.

That's what's the matter with him.

Oh, if I could only bring your memory back.

Maybe one of these days,

some of your peculiar
mannerisms may show up.

What mannerisms?

Your Lordship had a most outstanding one.

Did I?
Mm-hmm!

And when you got very angry,

you'd wiggle your ears
in a most extraordinary manner.

And you'd fight like a demon.

Huh.

"Fight like a demon."

Wiggle your ears.
What?

Wiggle your ears.

I can't wiggle my ears.

Of course you can't.
- Of course I can't.

Now stop this kidding,

and we don't want to hear
any more about it.

No more about it.

Very good, sir.

Don't want to hear it...

say, why don't you read his character?

Maybe he's right.

Maybe I am a Lordship.

You are a Lordship.

And we're only this far from home.

Well, I-I knew a fella once

that lost his memory, and he's better now.

You see...

fee, fi, fo, fum.

We want the blood of an American.

Be he alive...

What's that?
I don't know.

...we'll crush his bones
to make our bread.

Fee, fi, fo, fum.

We'll beat those Yankees like a drum.

I wonder what this is all about.

That's the students' chant of revenge, sir.

Evidently, some gentleman
has violated the ethics

of the student body.

And when that happens,
they're never satisfied

until they've hounded
the guilty one out of Oxford.

...we'll cut their throats
and take out their tongues.

We'll chew them up like chewing gum.

Fee, fi...

Look... they're pointing at us.

Don't worry.
It's another rib.

Oh, no, sir.

They never jest in a case like this.

...we'll send them back
where they came from.

Fee, fi, fo, fum.

Listen, chaps, we'll go up

and make them jump out of the window.

If they won't jump,

we'll take off their
britches and throw them out.

Here, stretch the blanket, chaps.

They mean us, all right.

What are we going to do?

We'd better get out of here.

...we want the blood
of an American.

Be he alive...

Ohh!

Ohh!
Where can we hide?

Climb out the window, sir,

along the ledge through to the next study,

and make your escape from there.

Say, Ollie, what are we gonna do
about the trunk?

Never mind the trunk.

Ohh.

Ohh.

Fe, fi, fo, fum...

Good gracious, Meredith,

why don't you fix that window?

Hit me right on the cranium.

Your Lordship!
You've got your memory back!

You know me!

What on earth are you talking about?

Of course I know you.

Where's my tea and crumpets?
Hurry.

Oh, it's a miracle!
A miracle!

Are you barmy?

See who that is.
Yes.

Stop annoying me.
Yes, me lord.

Must be losing his memory.
Silly old bounder.

There's one of them!

What is the meaning
of this vulgar intrusion?

You know what we mean!

We're going to take off your britches

and run you out of Oxford.

What?
Take off my britches?

In the presence of Meredith?

Yes, you dirty snitcher!

Repeat that remark again.

Dirty snitcher!

Meredith, hold my handkerchief.

Yes, me lord.

Now, I demand an immediate apology.

An apology?!

I'll give you an apology!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Hey!

Ohh!

The dean! The dean!

Ohh!

Whoa! Ugh!

Wonderful, your Lordship!
Wonderful!

Right back to your old form again!

Did me heart good to see you carry on.

Didn't half put it across 'em.

Don't annoy me, Meredith.

Get this place cleaned up,

and, uh, hurry with my tea and crumpets.

Oh, very good.

I'm starved, really.

What's the big idea throwing me
out the window?!

I beg your pardon.

Meredith, who is this coarse
person with the foreign accent?

Why, you little shrimp!

Are you trying to rib me now?!

Be careful, sir.
Be careful.

His Lordship's regained his memory.

Don't annoy him, sir,
or he may again become violent.

It's on the level, then?

Yes, sir.

Well, congratulations.

I'm sorry, but, uh, we've
never been introduced.

Meredith, will you kindly officiate?

Mr. Hardy,
meet lord Paddington.

How do you do?

What is the nature of your business here?

Why, Stan, don't you know me?

Know you?

Why, I never saw you before in all my life.

What are you talking about?

Don't you remember?

We used to sweep the streets together.

Sweep the stre... how dare you!

How dare you make such slurring remarks!

Meredith, show this
common person the egress

and eject him forcibly.

This way, sir.

Oh, wait a minute!

I don't know what you're talking about,

but this has gone far enough!

I'm gonna mop the floor up with you!

Have a care.

Wiggling your ears ain't gonna stop me!

Ohh!

Come in.

Oh, good morning, fatty.

Good morning, your Lordship.

Thank you.

Tea, your Lordship.

The dean wishes to speak
with you, your Lordship.

Oh, come right in.
Come right in.

You may remain here, fatty.

Oh, good morning.
Good morning.

Uh, would you care to join me
in a spot of tea?

No, thanks. Not any for me,
thank you.

Uh, don't stand there like a dummy.

Get a chair for the dean.

Pardon my, uh, valet being
so horribly, uh, stupid.

He's not quite broken in yet.

He's rather thick, as it were.

Why do you tolerate him?

Oh, I don't know.

He's, uh, he's got
a jolly old face, you know?

Breaks the monotony

and, uh, helps to fill up the, uh, room,

and, uh, besides,
he's something to talk to.

You understand.

I quite understand, your Lordship.

Well, a thousand congratulations

for all the wonderful things
you've accomplished

since your return to Oxford.

Oh, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut, tut.

Might I presume to ask you a favor?

Why, certainly.

Professor Einstein has just
arrived from Princeton,

and, uh, he's a bit confused
about his theory.

You don't say.

He wondered if you could, uh,
straighten him out.

It would be a pleasure.

When could you give him a few moments?

Uh, let me see.
Uh, oh, fatty,

uh...

Uh, hand me my memorandum.

Let me see now, uh, Monday...

Tuesday, and, uh...

Suppose we make it ash Wednesday.

Oh, thank you, your Lordship.

The professor will be
so very grateful to you.

That's perfectly all right.

Uh, incidentally, you may invite
him to have lunch with me.

Oh.
- Uh, I'm having pancakes.

Thank you, your Lordship.

Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you, fatty.

Thank you.

Good gracious, fatty.
What is this, senna tea?

Take this stuff away immediately.

Don't let it occur again.

My goodness.

Hmm!

Einstein.

If it wasn't for that bump on the head,

he wouldn't know Einstein
from a beer Stein.

Uh, by the way, uh, fatty.

I've noticed lately that, uh,
you're getting terribly sloven.

How do you mean, sir?

Well, uh, you don't seem
to have the dignity

becoming of a lackey.

Uh, no poise.

You don't walk right or something.

Let me see... uh, pull in your stomach.

That's better. Now... now
throw your shoulders back.

That's right.
Now, chin up. Chin up.

No, no, no, no...
both of them. Both.

There.
That's better now.

Now... now, walk around.
Let me see you.

Now, step into it.
Uh, make it brisker. Brisker!

Now, chins up.
Ch...

now look what you've done, clumsy.

Listen, I've had enough of this!

When I knew you, I had more
brains in my little finger

than you had in your whole carcass,

even with your overcoat on!

You're a witty old stick
in the mud, aren't you, fatty?

You bet I am, and don't call me fatty!

Now, don't get excited, old dear.

Who's excited?!
I'm through!

You can take your Lordships, your Oxford,

and your paddingtons
and do what you like with them!

Why, I'm surprised.

I've never been so humiliated...!

I'm just merely trying to help
you out, really, old dear.

No thing intentional, really.

And there's one more thing, too!

I didn't like that double-chin crack!

Huh!

My goodness.
What a temper.

* for he's a jolly good fellow * ohh!

* for he's a jolly good fellow *

* which nobody can deny

* which nobody can deny

I've never been so humiliated
and embarrassed in all my life.

I'm gonna get my clothes
and get out of here

and catch the first boat back!

And another thing...

and furthermore, get another boy!

Goodbye!

Hey, Ollie.

What?!

Where are you going?

Back to America for me!

Hey, Ollie!

Ollie!

Aren't you gonna take me with you?

Stan! You know me!

Well, of course I know you.
What's the matter?

Have you got one of those dizzy spells?

[kekazzz]