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(light music playing)
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John Wilson:
Hey, New York.
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The relationship
that you have with your toilet
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00:00:12,933 --> 00:00:16,200
is unlike any other object
in your home.
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00:00:16,300 --> 00:00:19,100
Much like a romantic partner,
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00:00:19,166 --> 00:00:22,833
it's the one thing in your life
that's always there for you.
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00:00:22,900 --> 00:00:26,400
You've shared countless
intimate moments together,
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00:00:26,466 --> 00:00:30,033
and you're familiar
with all its beautiful curves.
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00:00:31,566 --> 00:00:33,600
It's a reason to come home.
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00:00:34,333 --> 00:00:37,366
And something to buy nice
things for when you go away.
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00:00:38,533 --> 00:00:41,566
And you can't imagine it
with anyone else
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00:00:42,966 --> 00:00:46,000
even though it may have had
many partners before you.
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00:00:47,233 --> 00:00:49,133
But, when you leave the house,
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you're ripped out
of your comfort zone,
15
00:00:51,333 --> 00:00:54,366
and you have to use
whatever toilets
are available.
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00:00:55,733 --> 00:00:59,200
You usually start
by asking a local business,
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00:00:59,266 --> 00:01:02,333
but none of them
wanna let you in.
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John: Okay.
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No? Alright.
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And just when you start
to consider
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taking desperate measures
to relieve your pain,
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you start walking over
the Queensboro Bridge
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and notice a Porta-Potty
balancing on some two-by-fours,
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uh, over the guardrail.
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So, you scale the bridge
to see if it's open.
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And even though you eventually
found a place to go,
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you wish that it didn't
take so much effort.
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You know that the city
is full of toilets,
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but they're always slightly
out of reach,
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uh, when you need one.
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But, maybe if you did
a little research,
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you could finally
crack the code
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and hack into
the, uh, Restroom Matrix,
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and getting into any restroom
in the city
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will finally become easy.
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So, instead of worrying
about drinking too much water,
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(clears throat)
or getting too far from home,
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take a seat, friend,
and I'll show you
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the best way to find
a, a public restroom.
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00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:16,366
The city actually has a ton
of public restrooms
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00:02:16,433 --> 00:02:19,133
that were open around
the turn of the century.
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You used to be able
to go into any park
or subway station,
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uh, and, and use a bathroom
whenever you wanted.
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But then, in the 1970s,
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most of them started to close
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for budgetary reasons.
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00:02:32,166 --> 00:02:35,866
And the problem has only
gotten worse since then.
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There's about eight million
residents in New York
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and another 60 million tourists
that come annually.
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But, there's only around
a thousand public restrooms
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to accommodate everyone.
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And only two of them
are open 24-7.
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There are somehow
no public restrooms
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in Times Square,
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or Rockefeller Center,
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and the Upper East Side
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00:03:02,300 --> 00:03:05,633
is actually one of the biggest
public restroom deserts of all.
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00:03:06,966 --> 00:03:09,933
But maybe the city
isn't opening more restrooms
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00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,933
because our sewer system
is already overwhelmed.
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00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:17,300
So you take a visit to the,
uh, waste treatment facility,
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uh, to see if they
can actually handle more.
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(upbeat music playing)
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Tour Guide:
Here, we can oversee, uh,
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basically everything
going on in the plant.
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John:
Is a scum pit, like,
a technical term,
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or is that something
that, like--
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Tour Guide:
No, we have a couple scum pits.
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-John: What's
"Special Tool number one?"
-(Plant Worker laughs)
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-That was a tool I developed
yesterday to do a specific task.
-John: Okay.
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♪ ♪
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-So what kind of material
comes out of this hole?
-(whirring)
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Tour Guide:
Wrappers, plastic bottles,
cardboard boxes.
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John:
And is this stuff that goes in,
like, to the sewer, too?
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Yeah, anything that hits
the sewer comes here.
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John:
What about, like, cat feces?
Can you flush that?
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-Kitty litter, no.
-John: Hm.
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♪ ♪
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Could our sewage system, like,
support more public restrooms
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if we built them?
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Oh, without doubt.
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John:
What would happen if all
of the sewage facilities
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00:04:13,466 --> 00:04:16,332
were to stop operating
in New York City?
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00:04:16,399 --> 00:04:19,433
We would have sewage
backing up into people's homes,
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restaurants...
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Essentially, everything
would probably collapse.
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♪ ♪
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John:
What, you just had
a baby shower?
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Uh, no, that was just left
on my desk today
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from, uh, somebody that didn't
leave their name on there,
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so I have to find out
who, who dropped it off.
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-John: Oh,
could we see what's in it?
-Sure.
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-John: Okay.
-It is a nice little outfit.
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John:
Oh, that's beautiful.
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00:04:45,966 --> 00:04:49,133
My granddaughter
is going to be so happy
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-when she wears this.
Oh, my goodness!
-John: Oh, wow.
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00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:54,366
It must be
a "Star Wars" person because--
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-John: Oh, a little Yoda.
-A little Yoda.
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♪ ♪
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John:
Because there aren't many
public toilets open anymore,
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a lot of places
have temporary solutions
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that sometimes
stay up for years.
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00:05:09,233 --> 00:05:11,166
The handful of bathrooms
that are still open
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are in pitiful shape.
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The city usually takes
the doors off the stalls
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to discourage people from
do-doing bad stuff in there.
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So, you might need
to bring a blanket with you
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to give yourself a little
privacy, uh, in the bathroom.
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00:05:29,066 --> 00:05:32,133
There's usually also
not any toilet paper
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because it seems like the city
has other, uh, uses for it.
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There's one public restroom
in Brighton Beach
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that's actually really nice,
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and that's because
the people that work there
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take really good care of it,
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and, and, uh,
decorate it with stuff.
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So, this is like the Christmas
tree stuff with the popcorn--
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No, but I changed it to--
I can't pronounce it.
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-The Jewish "par-oom. Per-im."
-John: Oh, Purim. Purim.
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-Yeah, I think.
-I went from that,
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-and then I went to
the next holiday, to "Per-oom."
-John: Oh.
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I learned from the Jewish
people that come in here.
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-I got Maya Angelou.
See? Maya Angelou.
-John: Oh, nice.
122
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Get my doggies. "Happy New Year.
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Please don't drink and drive."
I added "Pray."
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Maybe three years ago,
a lady came from Manhattan.
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-She was gonna go jump off
the Verrazzano Bridge.
-John: Oh, really?
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00:06:16,033 --> 00:06:18,266
But then, she read
one of these sign-- signs,
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and she just started
hysterical crying.
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00:06:21,266 --> 00:06:25,100
-John: So you saved a woman
from potential suicide?
-Yes.
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John:
What would it take for
other New York restrooms
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to, to look like this?
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-Well, first of all,
I'm not supposed to brag.
-(toilet flushes)
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We, me and Sebesta, we use
our own funds, our own money.
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-Everything in here,
we use our money, so...
-John: Really?
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00:06:38,266 --> 00:06:41,533
Yes. Everything in here,
we use our own money.
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00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:43,566
-John: Oh, okay.
-Yes, honey?
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Oh, okay.
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00:06:46,533 --> 00:06:47,800
♪ ♪
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John:
The city's only effort
to solve the restroom problem
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was in 2008,
when they installed
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five self-cleaning
restrooms, uh,
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to service the whole,
all five boroughs.
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It cost 25 cents to get in,
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and there's
a 15-minute time limit.
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(door whirs)
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00:07:07,566 --> 00:07:10,033
John:
You're curious how
it cleans itself,
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and you-you realize the floor
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00:07:12,500 --> 00:07:14,666
is actually a button,
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00:07:14,733 --> 00:07:16,766
and if you sit on the sink,
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00:07:16,832 --> 00:07:20,633
you can trick the bathroom
into thinking that you're gone.
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-(machinery groaning)
-(clanging)
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(surprised shout)
152
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(majestic music playing)
153
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-John: Wow!
-(clanging)
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-(hissing)
-(music stops)
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(door whirs)
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(ambient street noise)
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00:07:41,600 --> 00:07:44,133
John:
Because there aren't
many public options,
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most bathroom activity
just ends up happening outside.
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So many people urinate
on certain areas of New York
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that every morning,
the shop owners
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will cover the sidewalk
in bleach
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in order to
eliminate the odor.
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00:07:58,500 --> 00:08:01,366
They also started
screwing down the toilet lids,
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00:08:01,466 --> 00:08:03,033
uh, in the showroom at IKEA,
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00:08:03,133 --> 00:08:05,700
to prevent people
from using them.
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00:08:05,766 --> 00:08:08,333
But as you were
checking them out,
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the only one that wasn't secure
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was actually filled with pee.
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00:08:13,833 --> 00:08:15,266
You could smell it.
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00:08:15,333 --> 00:08:17,600
And every few blocks
in New York,
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00:08:17,666 --> 00:08:19,933
you'll usually see
one of these bottles,
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00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,433
which are typically
filled with urine
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from someone who couldn't find
a bathroom in time.
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Hey. How's it going?
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-Good.
-John: Uh, do you have a second?
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For the day drivers,
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it's harder for the people in
the daytime to use the bathroom,
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so they use a bottle.
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And I see the bottles of piss
all over the floor sometimes.
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00:08:41,466 --> 00:08:44,366
John:
Everyone has different ways
of holding it in
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when they can't
find a bathroom.
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But if you have enough money,
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you actually might not need
to worry about that.
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00:08:53,165 --> 00:08:55,600
So, there is a condition, um,
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00:08:55,665 --> 00:08:58,400
that I dubbed
"Hampton's bladder,"
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which is a condition,
187
00:09:01,233 --> 00:09:04,500
um, based on the idea
that a drive
188
00:09:04,566 --> 00:09:06,900
from New York City
to the Hamptons
189
00:09:06,966 --> 00:09:09,200
takes anywhere
from three to six hours.
190
00:09:09,300 --> 00:09:12,933
Injecting the bladder with Botox
191
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:15,500
relaxes the muscle
of your bladder.
192
00:09:15,566 --> 00:09:18,266
That should be able to get you
out to the Hamptons
193
00:09:18,333 --> 00:09:19,866
without you having to stop.
194
00:09:19,933 --> 00:09:22,666
John:
How has Hampton's bladder
affected your life?
195
00:09:22,733 --> 00:09:25,566
Yeah, you know, I think
I've lost a couple of friends
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00:09:25,633 --> 00:09:29,000
just by having difficulty
finding bathrooms and--
197
00:09:29,066 --> 00:09:31,033
-John: Wait, like they died?
-No, not that they died.
198
00:09:31,100 --> 00:09:32,665
-Just that they--
-John: Oh.
199
00:09:32,733 --> 00:09:34,700
You know,
they wanted to be, um...
200
00:09:34,766 --> 00:09:37,700
uh, they wanted me to find
a bathroom where,
201
00:09:37,766 --> 00:09:39,033
you know, none existed.
202
00:09:39,100 --> 00:09:42,900
The interesting thing
is, uh, one of, uh--
203
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,566
Peter the Great, in Russia,
204
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:47,633
actually died of urinary
retention in his 50s.
205
00:09:47,700 --> 00:09:49,733
You know,
back in the 16th century
206
00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,900
-or whenever that happened.
-John: Wow.
207
00:09:51,966 --> 00:09:53,833
Did you guys know that?
208
00:09:53,900 --> 00:09:55,366
I wasn't aware of it, no.
209
00:09:55,433 --> 00:09:57,233
♪ ♪
210
00:09:57,533 --> 00:09:59,933
John:
According to
the official city website,
211
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:02,933
they actually recommend
going into private businesses
212
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:05,000
to relieve yourself.
213
00:10:05,066 --> 00:10:08,233
But, you often need
to buy something, so
214
00:10:08,300 --> 00:10:11,833
you can always
just get a receipt
from the trash outside, uh,
215
00:10:11,900 --> 00:10:14,666
(clears throat)
with the bathroom code on it
216
00:10:14,733 --> 00:10:17,700
and just go in afterwards
217
00:10:17,766 --> 00:10:19,066
like a normal customer.
218
00:10:19,133 --> 00:10:20,633
(handle clicks)
219
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:24,000
John:
You went to go visit
Hudson Yards recently,
220
00:10:24,066 --> 00:10:27,400
which is a new development
on the west side of Manhattan.
221
00:10:27,466 --> 00:10:28,733
You really had to pee,
222
00:10:28,800 --> 00:10:30,666
but when you asked
where the restroom was,
223
00:10:30,733 --> 00:10:33,665
it turns out you have to walk
through a mall
224
00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:37,333
filled with security guards
in tuxedos,
225
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:39,700
then up an escalator,
226
00:10:39,766 --> 00:10:42,165
and, and down a long hallway,
227
00:10:42,233 --> 00:10:44,100
then another hallway,
228
00:10:44,165 --> 00:10:47,165
and then right before
you collapse in front of Muji,
229
00:10:47,233 --> 00:10:49,366
the bathrooms should be
on your left.
230
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:52,933
And when you're
finally done in there,
231
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,466
you can go check out
their new attraction,
232
00:10:55,533 --> 00:10:58,566
which is a shiny staircase
to nowhere
233
00:10:58,633 --> 00:11:00,500
that you have
to pay to climb.
234
00:11:00,566 --> 00:11:02,200
But it was
actually closed, uh,
235
00:11:02,266 --> 00:11:04,133
because they couldn't
stop people
236
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,400
from killing
themselves on it.
237
00:11:07,466 --> 00:11:09,966
It seems like
you're also not allowed
to film this thing,
238
00:11:10,033 --> 00:11:12,200
so you might be approached
239
00:11:12,266 --> 00:11:14,900
by the cops after a while.
240
00:11:14,966 --> 00:11:17,066
I'm done. I'm gonna walk away.
You'll never see me again.
241
00:11:17,133 --> 00:11:19,466
(police officer 1 speaking)
242
00:11:19,933 --> 00:11:21,066
John:
I'm not gonna give you my ID.
243
00:11:21,133 --> 00:11:23,666
I'm not gonna give you my ID.
There's no reason for that.
244
00:11:23,733 --> 00:11:27,333
(police officer 2 speaking)
245
00:11:27,400 --> 00:11:29,166
John:
I completely understand.
246
00:11:29,233 --> 00:11:31,566
This place was already
inhospitable enough,
and I'll never return.
247
00:11:33,700 --> 00:11:35,966
John:
It's getting harder
to tell in New York
248
00:11:36,033 --> 00:11:38,433
where public spaces end
249
00:11:38,500 --> 00:11:40,800
and private spaces begin.
250
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:43,333
Businesses often
have weird rules
251
00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:45,933
that try to keep
certain people out.
252
00:11:46,700 --> 00:11:49,733
And you can't always tell if
you're doing something wrong.
253
00:11:50,266 --> 00:11:51,833
Employee 1:
Can you call the police, please?
254
00:11:51,900 --> 00:11:53,200
Employee 2:
Well, this is a private space,
255
00:11:53,266 --> 00:11:55,100
and we don't know
what you're filming,
256
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,866
and you're not telling us
what you're filming.
257
00:11:56,933 --> 00:11:58,266
John:
I'm just trying
to find a bathroom.
258
00:11:58,333 --> 00:12:00,866
-Employee 1: Can you just go?
-John: Okay, I'll go.
259
00:12:03,133 --> 00:12:05,666
Maybe one day,
the only public place left
260
00:12:05,733 --> 00:12:08,266
will be the sidewalk.
261
00:12:08,333 --> 00:12:11,366
But, who knows for how long?
262
00:12:12,433 --> 00:12:16,200
There's one neighborhood
in New York called The Hole
263
00:12:16,266 --> 00:12:18,366
that you usually pass, um,
264
00:12:18,433 --> 00:12:20,600
on, on the way to get to JFK.
265
00:12:21,066 --> 00:12:23,366
It's actually
below sea level,
266
00:12:23,433 --> 00:12:26,766
so it's not connected
to the city's sewage system.
267
00:12:26,833 --> 00:12:30,633
So, a lot of the sewage
just ends up in the street.
268
00:12:30,700 --> 00:12:32,900
This water here,
if it touched you,
269
00:12:32,966 --> 00:12:35,466
you could get cooties.
270
00:12:35,533 --> 00:12:37,000
Those are cootie waters.
271
00:12:37,066 --> 00:12:38,866
Right there,
the shit come out of.
272
00:12:38,933 --> 00:12:41,400
-John: Oh, th-that's where
it comes out of?
-Local: Yeah, right there.
273
00:12:41,466 --> 00:12:43,733
Filthy fuckin' sewage water.
274
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:47,333
I'm not polluting this
motherfucker with no shit water.
275
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:48,800
I'm living in that grid there.
276
00:12:48,866 --> 00:12:50,733
When I want to use the bathroom,
277
00:12:50,800 --> 00:12:53,833
I gotta use the bathroom
inside of my place,
278
00:12:53,900 --> 00:12:57,366
wrap up my stuff,
and carry it one block away.
279
00:12:57,433 --> 00:12:58,966
-Look, see?
-John: Yeah.
280
00:13:00,200 --> 00:13:02,733
And every Thursday,
the guy come with the truck
281
00:13:02,833 --> 00:13:04,766
and he pick them up,
and he take them with him.
282
00:13:05,433 --> 00:13:07,666
I've been in this neighborhood
eight years,
283
00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:09,566
but I've been living
on the side of the road here
284
00:13:09,633 --> 00:13:10,966
for three years now.
285
00:13:11,033 --> 00:13:13,966
Yeah, we got bed,
we got TV, everything.
286
00:13:14,033 --> 00:13:15,266
John:
What are you watching here?
287
00:13:15,333 --> 00:13:17,700
Local:
I'm watching
"Ice Road Truckers."
288
00:13:17,766 --> 00:13:19,333
John:
Oh, okay.
289
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,000
What is all this stuff
on your bed?
290
00:13:21,066 --> 00:13:23,100
-Local: That's some condoms.
-John: Those are condoms?
291
00:13:23,166 --> 00:13:25,066
-Local: The girl gave me those.
-John (laughing): Oh.
292
00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:26,533
Local:
She gave me
a whole bag of condoms.
293
00:13:26,600 --> 00:13:27,700
I don't use them, though,
294
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,400
'cause I ain't got
no girlfriend now.
295
00:13:29,466 --> 00:13:31,300
John:
Oh, okay.
That's a lot of condoms.
296
00:13:31,366 --> 00:13:33,300
Local:
Yeah, she gave me, like,
a thousand condoms.
297
00:13:33,366 --> 00:13:35,133
-John: Okay.
-(Local laughs)
298
00:13:35,233 --> 00:13:37,665
People who living off the grid,
299
00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,466
it's, it's, it's much harder
to live off the grid.
300
00:13:40,533 --> 00:13:41,866
Oh, big time. You know that.
301
00:13:41,933 --> 00:13:43,266
Local:
But, it's like a preparation
302
00:13:43,333 --> 00:13:45,866
in case the place
is in a disarray.
303
00:13:46,300 --> 00:13:48,933
I will be the one who gonna
have to help the people,
304
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,800
them who don't know about
this type of living.
305
00:13:50,866 --> 00:13:53,900
You know what they're talking
about now, right? What if...
306
00:13:54,665 --> 00:13:56,200
New York were to go through
307
00:13:56,266 --> 00:13:58,833
a nuclear explosion?
308
00:13:58,900 --> 00:14:00,233
And I was just
saying to myself--
309
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:01,800
-Local: We living
outside already.
-Yeah.
310
00:14:01,866 --> 00:14:05,400
I was saying to myself,
if we were to decide to hook up
311
00:14:05,466 --> 00:14:08,166
our trailers to our trucks
and head for the hills?
312
00:14:08,266 --> 00:14:09,866
-We would live!
-Local: We will make it.
313
00:14:09,933 --> 00:14:11,200
-We would make it!
-Yeah.
314
00:14:11,266 --> 00:14:14,033
But you take somebody from
one of those buildings up there,
315
00:14:14,100 --> 00:14:16,033
-to try to come--
They wouldn't survive.
-Local: I know.
316
00:14:16,100 --> 00:14:18,600
-'Cause they don't know
how to survive.
-Local: Right.
317
00:14:18,666 --> 00:14:21,566
-Water, light, gas.
-All this stuff.
318
00:14:21,633 --> 00:14:24,433
-You know, those essentials...
-(truck rumbling)
319
00:14:24,500 --> 00:14:27,133
...are, like, the basic things
that you need,
320
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:29,400
-you know, to, to, to survive.
-Exactly.
321
00:14:29,466 --> 00:14:32,033
But you take those
three things away,
322
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,300
-they wouldn't know what to do!
-They're in total disarray.
323
00:14:34,366 --> 00:14:36,165
-They wouldn't know what to do.
-Total disarray.
324
00:14:36,233 --> 00:14:39,266
-Makes you very resourceful,
living off the grid.
-Oh, yeah.
325
00:14:40,833 --> 00:14:44,266
John:
Recently, these strange
"Ghostbusters"-themed posters
326
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,533
started to pop up
all over New York,
327
00:14:47,600 --> 00:14:50,665
telling residents to prepare
for something bad
328
00:14:50,733 --> 00:14:52,600
that's about to happen.
329
00:14:52,665 --> 00:14:56,566
And around the same time,
the city released a weird PSA
330
00:14:56,633 --> 00:14:58,600
asking you to prepare
331
00:14:58,665 --> 00:15:01,333
for some other
unspecified disaster.
332
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:11,633
John:
If the big one were to come,
333
00:15:11,700 --> 00:15:13,733
you would be
totally vulnerable
334
00:15:13,800 --> 00:15:17,600
and wouldn't have anything
you'd need to survive.
335
00:15:17,666 --> 00:15:19,333
You'd only have enough
blue cheese
336
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,433
for about a day and a half.
337
00:15:22,333 --> 00:15:25,800
You'd have to make
your own milk somehow.
338
00:15:25,866 --> 00:15:27,266
♪ ♪
339
00:15:27,333 --> 00:15:28,766
But when you walk outside,
340
00:15:28,833 --> 00:15:31,933
you don't really see any
immediate signs of Armageddon.
341
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,433
Uh, but, but,
342
00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,500
you go to the store
and buy a pocket knife
343
00:15:35,566 --> 00:15:38,033
and a gallon of water
just in case.
344
00:15:39,533 --> 00:15:41,665
And then at
the worst possible time,
345
00:15:41,733 --> 00:15:43,300
your toilet breaks.
346
00:15:43,366 --> 00:15:45,800
So, you call the plumber,
and he says
347
00:15:45,866 --> 00:15:48,966
there's something really dense
causing the blockage.
348
00:15:49,600 --> 00:15:51,533
You said you didn't have
the faintest idea
349
00:15:51,600 --> 00:15:53,500
of what it could be.
350
00:15:53,566 --> 00:15:54,800
No idea.
351
00:15:55,800 --> 00:15:57,300
He said they would need
a few days
352
00:15:57,366 --> 00:15:59,400
to get into the walls
and replace something.
353
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,500
So, until it's fixed,
you're just gonna have to
354
00:16:02,566 --> 00:16:04,866
become more resourceful
355
00:16:04,933 --> 00:16:06,800
and find bathrooms in places
356
00:16:06,866 --> 00:16:09,966
you hadn't
really considered before.
357
00:16:10,033 --> 00:16:11,633
Very nice.
358
00:16:11,700 --> 00:16:14,666
-How long has this been
on the market?
-Realtor: About a week.
359
00:16:14,733 --> 00:16:16,266
(doorknob clicking)
360
00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:19,500
♪ ♪
361
00:16:19,566 --> 00:16:21,533
-(rattling)
-John: Oh, shit.
362
00:16:21,633 --> 00:16:24,700
(quiet chatter)
363
00:16:24,766 --> 00:16:26,666
John:
Hey, what are you guys doing?
364
00:16:26,733 --> 00:16:29,733
Is this-- Is this a--
Is this a party bus?
365
00:16:29,800 --> 00:16:32,566
-Yeah. Kind of looks like it.
-(group chattering)
366
00:16:32,633 --> 00:16:34,165
We're getting ready
for the show.
367
00:16:34,233 --> 00:16:37,500
-John: So, where's the show?
-Uh, Forest Hills, New York.
368
00:16:37,566 --> 00:16:38,733
Going to see Odesza.
369
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,866
Some of these guys
six times, so...
370
00:16:40,933 --> 00:16:42,665
John:
Oh, really? Can I come?
371
00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:44,566
(muffled music playing)
372
00:16:44,633 --> 00:16:47,665
-(party bus chatter)
-(electronic music blasting)
373
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:56,165
(chatter, music continue)
374
00:16:57,033 --> 00:16:59,300
John (yelling):
How much longer until we, uh...
375
00:16:59,366 --> 00:17:01,500
20 minutes? Okay.
376
00:17:01,566 --> 00:17:03,600
How old are you turning?
377
00:17:04,766 --> 00:17:07,900
-H-How old are you turning?
-I'm turning 28!
378
00:17:07,965 --> 00:17:10,599
John:
Oh, really? That's a good year!
379
00:17:10,900 --> 00:17:13,366
Partygoer:
We are three minutes away!
380
00:17:13,433 --> 00:17:15,800
-John: Are we here? Okay!
-Yeah!
381
00:17:15,866 --> 00:17:19,000
(music becomes quieter)
382
00:17:19,066 --> 00:17:21,433
John:
Alright. Well, have fun
at the concert, guys.
383
00:17:21,500 --> 00:17:22,900
♪ ♪
384
00:17:22,965 --> 00:17:26,333
It was definitely taking
a lot more effort this way.
385
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,165
But looking for a bathroom
386
00:17:28,266 --> 00:17:31,266
opened doors you-you may have
never entered before.
387
00:17:31,333 --> 00:17:33,066
McNally Employee:
Lou Reed was here once.
388
00:17:33,133 --> 00:17:35,866
Mason:
And of course, in the center,
you'll find a, uh,...
389
00:17:36,766 --> 00:17:39,333
an altar, um, with,
390
00:17:39,400 --> 00:17:41,200
sorry to disappoint,
no blood stains.
391
00:17:41,266 --> 00:17:42,966
(laughs)
392
00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:44,466
(John laughs weakly)
393
00:17:44,533 --> 00:17:46,033
John:
And this is the men's room?
394
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:47,566
Mason:
Oh, it's just a men's room.
Yeah.
395
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,333
John:
Finding the rarest bathroom
396
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,066
became an exciting pursuit,
397
00:17:53,133 --> 00:17:56,200
and you became determined to
see how far you could take it.
398
00:17:56,900 --> 00:17:59,200
Camper:
You have to have water, and
then you have to have a pump,
399
00:17:59,266 --> 00:18:00,333
-so...
-John: Okay.
400
00:18:05,700 --> 00:18:08,233
So what do you--
So where are you
going with this?
401
00:18:08,966 --> 00:18:11,233
-I'm going to Burning Man.
-John: Cool.
402
00:18:13,266 --> 00:18:15,066
-(rips tape)
-Uh...
403
00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:17,566
can I come? (laughs)
404
00:18:17,633 --> 00:18:19,633
(laughs) I mean...
405
00:18:19,700 --> 00:18:22,733
♪ ♪
406
00:18:25,566 --> 00:18:28,900
-John: Do people try to sneak
into Burning Man?
-Camper: Of course.
407
00:18:28,966 --> 00:18:30,800
People try to sneak in in RVs.
408
00:18:30,866 --> 00:18:32,333
It's really difficult these days
409
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:34,466
'cause they're kinda
on to the whole experience.
410
00:18:34,533 --> 00:18:36,866
But, like, you could run in.
411
00:18:37,300 --> 00:18:39,700
John:
What's the bathroom situation
like in there?
412
00:18:39,766 --> 00:18:41,900
Camper:
There is...
413
00:18:41,966 --> 00:18:44,466
a plethora of porta-potties.
414
00:18:44,533 --> 00:18:47,466
Like, you can find
a bathroom everywhere.
415
00:18:47,533 --> 00:18:51,633
-So that's nice. Yeah.
-John: Oh, awesome.
416
00:18:51,700 --> 00:18:54,600
She said it was a place that
encouraged free expression,
417
00:18:55,500 --> 00:18:58,833
a society of people
who give each other gifts
418
00:18:58,900 --> 00:19:01,200
and build big sculptures
everywhere.
419
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:03,533
-Are you waiting for ice?
-Yeah. She's pumping--
420
00:19:03,600 --> 00:19:05,533
-She's making the bags for me.
-John: Oh.
421
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:10,100
You actually did manage to,
uh, get a last-minute ticket
422
00:19:10,700 --> 00:19:13,733
and spent an entire week
filming there.
423
00:19:14,566 --> 00:19:17,566
It was the hardest thing
you've ever done,
424
00:19:17,633 --> 00:19:20,966
and you were really proud
of what you shot,
425
00:19:21,033 --> 00:19:23,966
but you were eventually told
that you couldn't use
426
00:19:24,033 --> 00:19:27,166
any of the footage because
another documentary crew
427
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,900
negotiated
for exclusive rights
428
00:19:29,966 --> 00:19:32,200
to film that year.
429
00:19:32,266 --> 00:19:34,566
It turns out,
some of the film crew,
430
00:19:34,633 --> 00:19:37,600
uh, were actually former
NXIVM members
431
00:19:37,666 --> 00:19:40,233
who made that TV show
"The Vow."
432
00:19:41,033 --> 00:19:43,866
You sat in a hotel room
for two days
433
00:19:43,933 --> 00:19:45,733
trying to negotiate,
434
00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,833
but they still refused
435
00:19:47,900 --> 00:19:50,566
to let you use what you shot.
436
00:19:50,633 --> 00:19:52,133
♪ ♪
437
00:19:52,200 --> 00:19:54,633
You were crushed.
438
00:19:55,133 --> 00:19:58,400
It was the most creatively
constipated you've ever felt
439
00:19:59,433 --> 00:20:01,933
and you resented the whole
Burning Man organization
440
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,533
for being such hypocrites.
441
00:20:05,600 --> 00:20:08,833
So, you finally just
threw in the towel
442
00:20:08,900 --> 00:20:10,866
and gave up.
443
00:20:10,933 --> 00:20:13,533
(curtain rattling)
444
00:20:13,933 --> 00:20:17,100
John:
You didn't want your trip
out west to be a net loss,
445
00:20:17,166 --> 00:20:20,166
so you set up an interview
on the way back
446
00:20:20,233 --> 00:20:24,133
with someone you thought, uh,
might be good for the episode.
447
00:20:24,533 --> 00:20:27,133
I'm Steve Savage,
otherwise known as Stinky Steve,
448
00:20:27,200 --> 00:20:29,100
and, uh, I'm in
the septic business
449
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:31,100
here in central West Texas.
450
00:20:31,166 --> 00:20:32,900
John:
How's business here?
451
00:20:32,966 --> 00:20:36,566
Steve Savage:
I mean, I've got some repeat
customers just south of Abilene.
452
00:20:36,633 --> 00:20:37,966
That's where a lot
of the subdivisions
453
00:20:38,033 --> 00:20:39,933
are kinda being built.
454
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:42,466
-John: Oh, there's a dog
in your bathroom.
-Steve: Yeah, that's Lola.
455
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,200
-John: Oh, wow.
-Steve: Lola!
456
00:20:44,266 --> 00:20:46,300
John:
Do you have a septic tank here?
457
00:20:47,166 --> 00:20:50,933
-At this house? I do not,
but I do at the silo. Yeah.
-John: Yeah.
458
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,866
-At the silo?
-Yeah, the, the silo,
the silo has a septic.
459
00:20:53,933 --> 00:20:57,866
I don't have it functioning yet
as far as that goes, uh,
460
00:20:57,933 --> 00:21:00,166
because I don't have
the pump, the pump installed yet
461
00:21:00,233 --> 00:21:02,466
in the silo
to pump the sewage to the deal.
462
00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:05,266
But, I, I don't even
have the bathroom
hooked up in there yet.
463
00:21:05,333 --> 00:21:07,366
-John: What's the silo?
-Huh?
464
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:09,966
-John: What's the silo?
-The missile silo.
465
00:21:11,600 --> 00:21:15,533
-So, this part right here,
like where that missile is...
-John: Uh-huh.
466
00:21:15,600 --> 00:21:17,300
...the, that structure
that's underground
467
00:21:17,366 --> 00:21:18,733
is where I'm building my house,
468
00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:21,000
or my future residence,
to live in that.
469
00:21:21,066 --> 00:21:23,100
-John: Oh, really?
-And, and so that has--
470
00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:26,233
-that actually has a septic tank
on the property.
-John: What?
471
00:21:27,033 --> 00:21:30,966
Right here is the entry
to an Atlas-F missile silo,
472
00:21:31,033 --> 00:21:32,700
the launch control center.
473
00:21:32,766 --> 00:21:35,300
It was designed
as a retaliation weapon,
474
00:21:35,366 --> 00:21:38,033
like an insurance policy
against the Soviet Union
475
00:21:38,100 --> 00:21:40,466
to kinda prevent World War III.
476
00:21:40,800 --> 00:21:43,333
We are probably
about a hundred...
477
00:21:44,433 --> 00:21:47,466
and fifty to 160 foot
478
00:21:47,533 --> 00:21:49,100
above the bottom of this.
479
00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:50,833
John:
So, I could fall
18 stories down there?
480
00:21:50,900 --> 00:21:52,033
Steve:
And hang on to that rail.
481
00:21:52,100 --> 00:21:54,033
Just make sure you're always
holding on to something.
482
00:21:54,100 --> 00:21:56,866
If you fall down, there's no way
of getting you out of there.
483
00:21:56,933 --> 00:21:59,133
This is gonna be
the master bedroom
484
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:01,233
with the master bath
right there.
485
00:22:01,300 --> 00:22:03,000
So, somewhere a bed
will end up in here.
486
00:22:03,066 --> 00:22:05,500
But, in the meantime,
I had that air mattress.
487
00:22:05,566 --> 00:22:07,233
John:
You got MREs here.
488
00:22:07,300 --> 00:22:09,633
Steve:
Yeah, you know,
I did that for shits and grins.
489
00:22:09,700 --> 00:22:12,066
You're gonna love this.
This is my fun room.
490
00:22:12,133 --> 00:22:13,666
John:
What? (laughs)
491
00:22:14,433 --> 00:22:16,333
Steve:
This is where they launched
the missile from,
492
00:22:16,400 --> 00:22:19,533
and right now, it's just
kind of a temporary game room.
493
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:23,066
♪ ♪
494
00:22:23,133 --> 00:22:25,566
There was a point where I was
out here working on it so much,
495
00:22:25,633 --> 00:22:28,866
trying to get it
all done, um, that it did--
496
00:22:28,966 --> 00:22:30,766
it put a little bit of a strain
on the marriage,
497
00:22:30,833 --> 00:22:32,333
it caused us some conflict.
498
00:22:33,133 --> 00:22:35,266
We were split up
for about six months, so...
499
00:22:35,333 --> 00:22:37,100
John:
So, you were, you were
living down here
500
00:22:37,166 --> 00:22:38,666
for six months by yourself?
501
00:22:38,733 --> 00:22:40,700
Steve:
Yeah, about six months. Yeah.
502
00:22:40,766 --> 00:22:42,566
These, these guys
are with HBO.
503
00:22:42,633 --> 00:22:46,566
They're makin' a,
a little short documentary.
504
00:22:46,633 --> 00:22:48,566
-I'ma be on HBO.
-Oh.
505
00:22:48,633 --> 00:22:49,833
-John: Yeah.
-Now, you might be.
506
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:51,966
So, I don't know.
507
00:22:52,033 --> 00:22:53,800
I mean, with the silo...
508
00:22:53,866 --> 00:22:56,600
I mean, sometimes I wonder
if we will move out there,
509
00:22:56,666 --> 00:22:58,666
you know?
I just don't know. Um...
510
00:22:58,733 --> 00:23:00,400
We did hit a rough patch.
511
00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:04,400
Me and Steve did hit
a rough patch, um,
this past year,
512
00:23:04,466 --> 00:23:07,433
but we are working on it,
you know, to move past it.
513
00:23:07,500 --> 00:23:10,866
And so some of the things
we're working on is,
514
00:23:10,933 --> 00:23:13,266
you know, him spending
more time with us.
515
00:23:13,333 --> 00:23:15,633
-John: Hm.
-And, um, you know,
516
00:23:15,700 --> 00:23:19,000
he's not pushing us
to go out there so much.
517
00:23:19,700 --> 00:23:20,966
'Cause it's pretty quiet
down there.
518
00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:23,000
You don't really know
even the weather,
519
00:23:23,066 --> 00:23:24,133
what's going on
with the weather.
520
00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:25,433
Steve:
You can hear thunder.
521
00:23:25,500 --> 00:23:27,266
-I, I can hear it.
-That's, that's the one thing
I will miss.
522
00:23:27,333 --> 00:23:28,566
You know,
if we do move in there,
523
00:23:28,633 --> 00:23:30,700
it's just not being able
to hear the rain.
524
00:23:30,766 --> 00:23:31,866
-John: Hm.
-Um...
525
00:23:31,933 --> 00:23:34,233
just look out and see
if the snow, you know,
526
00:23:34,333 --> 00:23:37,266
did it snow the one time
of year that it snows here?
527
00:23:37,333 --> 00:23:40,533
Or, you know,
what it looks like outside.
528
00:23:40,600 --> 00:23:42,633
Steve:
Well, you just put
cameras out there.
529
00:23:43,233 --> 00:23:46,633
John:
Seems like even if you are
prepared for a disaster,
530
00:23:47,666 --> 00:23:49,266
the reality
of your new environment
531
00:23:49,333 --> 00:23:51,800
would take some
getting used to.
532
00:23:51,866 --> 00:23:54,200
And if the big one
were to come,
533
00:23:54,266 --> 00:23:57,833
it's unclear who, who else
would still be around.
534
00:23:57,900 --> 00:24:00,366
You asked if there were
any other places like this,
535
00:24:00,433 --> 00:24:03,833
and he told you about
another bunker he knew about.
536
00:24:04,733 --> 00:24:08,500
It, it was underneath a hotel
near Washington DC
537
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,533
that was built as
a secure place for Congress
538
00:24:11,600 --> 00:24:14,133
in, in the event of
a nuclear attack.
539
00:24:14,866 --> 00:24:18,800
Employee:
The Cameo Ballroom is where
you would find large parties,
540
00:24:18,866 --> 00:24:21,233
wonderful dances, balls,
541
00:24:21,300 --> 00:24:22,966
beautiful crystal chandelier.
542
00:24:23,033 --> 00:24:25,733
Brad Paisley was here
this summer.
543
00:24:25,800 --> 00:24:28,633
Alfonso Ribeiro was here
a couple summers ago
544
00:24:28,700 --> 00:24:30,000
with his family.
545
00:24:30,066 --> 00:24:33,466
So during the Cold War,
in case of a nuclear disaster,
546
00:24:34,233 --> 00:24:38,866
this is where
our House and Senate
would have relocated to,
547
00:24:38,933 --> 00:24:40,966
to continue doing their job.
548
00:24:41,466 --> 00:24:43,633
John:
Wow. How heavy is this door?
549
00:24:43,700 --> 00:24:46,766
-Employee: This door
is actually 18 tons.
-John: Wow.
550
00:24:46,833 --> 00:24:49,100
So, this is the start
551
00:24:49,166 --> 00:24:51,333
of the decontamination process.
552
00:24:51,400 --> 00:24:53,566
They're going to have
to take everything off,
553
00:24:53,633 --> 00:24:56,700
and everything would be
immediately incinerated.
554
00:24:56,766 --> 00:25:00,433
This was a dormitory
with 60 to 65 beds.
555
00:25:00,500 --> 00:25:02,966
And there would also
be riot gear.
556
00:25:03,033 --> 00:25:06,600
John:
The riot gear is to protect
the people in here
557
00:25:06,666 --> 00:25:08,700
-from each other?
-From each other.
558
00:25:08,766 --> 00:25:10,866
So, they had to make sure
559
00:25:10,933 --> 00:25:14,100
that they survived
and that our government
560
00:25:14,166 --> 00:25:16,966
would continue
running our country.
561
00:25:17,066 --> 00:25:18,233
John:
Like, is there any kind of world
562
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:19,800
that you would not
want to reenter?
563
00:25:19,866 --> 00:25:23,066
Like, if, if there were
such... fallout?
564
00:25:23,133 --> 00:25:25,333
Well, if we have
complete devastation,
565
00:25:25,400 --> 00:25:29,200
and there's no vegetation,
there's no animals left,
566
00:25:29,266 --> 00:25:33,033
um, I don't want to be
a part of that world
567
00:25:33,100 --> 00:25:35,533
to try to figure out
how to sustain life.
568
00:25:36,233 --> 00:25:39,233
So, yes, I would not
want to be here
569
00:25:39,300 --> 00:25:40,933
in that situation.
570
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,033
(beep, door clicks)
571
00:25:43,733 --> 00:25:46,400
-John: Oh, wow.
-This is the briefing room,
572
00:25:46,466 --> 00:25:48,933
and this is where
our representatives
573
00:25:49,033 --> 00:25:51,833
would have addressed
their constituents from.
574
00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:54,733
-John: And that would be the
background for the broadcast?
-Correct.
575
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,766
If you have a photo of,
of devastation and destruction,
576
00:25:58,833 --> 00:26:00,166
you're going to be scared.
577
00:26:00,233 --> 00:26:02,433
You're going to want to flee.
578
00:26:02,500 --> 00:26:04,866
And this is going
to help calm everyone down.
579
00:26:04,933 --> 00:26:07,500
John:
Like, wouldn't it just be,
like, an illusion
580
00:26:07,566 --> 00:26:10,800
that the White House was intact,
even if it wasn't?
581
00:26:11,500 --> 00:26:15,100
It would, but it would be
an illusion that we would need.
582
00:26:15,166 --> 00:26:17,300
Us having this
583
00:26:17,366 --> 00:26:19,833
would really calm
everyone down and say,
584
00:26:19,900 --> 00:26:23,500
"Hey, just hold on a minute.
We can get through this.
585
00:26:23,600 --> 00:26:25,966
They're tryin' to find
a solution for us."
586
00:26:26,033 --> 00:26:28,500
♪ ♪
587
00:26:28,566 --> 00:26:31,066
John:
So, this is the bathroom
Congress would have used?
588
00:26:31,133 --> 00:26:33,866
Employee:
Yes. (laughs) Help yourself.
589
00:26:33,933 --> 00:26:35,900
(clicking)
590
00:26:39,533 --> 00:26:42,066
(toilet flushes)
591
00:26:42,766 --> 00:26:45,300
John:
So, it's good to know that
592
00:26:45,366 --> 00:26:48,233
if anything really bad
does happen,
593
00:26:48,300 --> 00:26:52,066
everything will still be able
to run the same way.
594
00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:58,166
And even if these old relics
don't function
595
00:26:58,233 --> 00:27:00,100
the way they should anymore,
596
00:27:00,166 --> 00:27:02,600
at least they provide us
with images
597
00:27:02,666 --> 00:27:04,733
that make us hopeful
598
00:27:04,800 --> 00:27:06,766
that things
will get better tomorrow.
599
00:27:06,833 --> 00:27:09,433
(water spraying)
600
00:27:11,200 --> 00:27:14,966
John:
And if you can't
film at Burning Man,
601
00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:19,500
you can always just make do
with what you have at home.
602
00:27:20,033 --> 00:27:21,633
Because if all
our public spaces
603
00:27:21,700 --> 00:27:23,733
are eventually gonna
become private,
604
00:27:24,633 --> 00:27:27,700
then we should all get used
to seeing our private stuff
605
00:27:28,866 --> 00:27:30,400
in public.
606
00:27:33,933 --> 00:27:36,100
This is John Wilson.
607
00:27:36,166 --> 00:27:38,166
Thanks for watching.
608
00:27:38,233 --> 00:27:40,133
(jaunty country jingle playing)
609
00:27:40,200 --> 00:27:42,233
♪ If your toilet
quits a-flushin' ♪
610
00:27:42,300 --> 00:27:44,533
♪ There ain't no point
in fussin' ♪
611
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,900
♪ Pick up the telephone
and call Stinky Steve's ♪
612
00:27:48,966 --> 00:27:51,133
♪ If your septic tank
is smellin' ♪
613
00:27:51,200 --> 00:27:53,566
♪ And your spouse
just started yellin' ♪
614
00:27:53,633 --> 00:27:56,766
♪ Pick up the telephone
and call Stinky Steve's ♪
615
00:27:57,700 --> 00:28:00,166
♪ They're number one
with the number two ♪
616
00:28:00,266 --> 00:28:02,133
♪ You are sure to see ♪
617
00:28:02,233 --> 00:28:06,066
♪ Pick up the telephone
and call Stinky Steve's ♪
618
00:28:06,133 --> 00:28:07,733
(jingle ends)
619
00:28:08,100 --> 00:28:10,400
(majestic music playing)
620
00:28:25,433 --> 00:28:26,700
(music fades)48875
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