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1
00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:52,153
It's been a long,
hard climb to the top.
2
00:00:52,186 --> 00:00:55,789
30,000 spectators have jammed
into the Las Vegas Arena...
3
00:00:55,823 --> 00:00:59,193
to see the champion, Harry
Agensky, the Polish Prince,
4
00:00:59,227 --> 00:01:02,230
defend his title.
5
00:01:02,263 --> 00:01:05,366
He came to this country in 1927
at the age of 11,
6
00:01:05,399 --> 00:01:10,104
and he's been fighting
ever since.
7
00:01:10,138 --> 00:01:14,475
But tonight, he's in
for the fight of his life.
8
00:01:14,508 --> 00:01:16,877
Nobody has
taken more punishment.
9
00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:21,182
Nobody has
overcome more adversity.
10
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:24,852
From the depths of poverty
to champion of the world.
11
00:01:24,885 --> 00:01:28,422
This really
is the American dream.
12
00:03:02,783 --> 00:03:05,853
I hope Grandpa's in good
enough shape to go to Banff.
13
00:03:05,886 --> 00:03:07,955
Are you kidding?
He could be comatose.
14
00:03:07,988 --> 00:03:10,788
Even if he was in a coma, he'd figure
out some way to come on this trip.
15
00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:18,499
You got a light or
something? Yeah, right there.
16
00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,669
Hey! Where'd you get
that? Cigarette fairy, man.
17
00:03:21,702 --> 00:03:23,971
What the hell? I hope
you're proud of yourself!
18
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,939
I've never seen you
with one of those!
19
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,509
Mom's boyfriend lets me smoke,
Dad. Sam? Sam's a pothead.
20
00:03:28,542 --> 00:03:30,678
Ex-pothead.
21
00:03:30,711 --> 00:03:33,013
His parole officer has him
speaking at high schools now.
22
00:03:33,046 --> 00:03:35,783
I'm sure he's
a great role model.
23
00:03:35,816 --> 00:03:39,287
Mom says he's twice the man
you ever were.
24
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:45,626
Now, if you've got something on
your mind, come out with it and say it.
25
00:03:45,659 --> 00:03:49,730
Fine. Fine. I'm not moving in with
you after Mom's wedding, okay?
26
00:03:49,763 --> 00:03:51,665
There.
27
00:03:52,766 --> 00:03:54,635
It's up to you.
28
00:03:57,004 --> 00:03:59,340
You're right, it's up to me.
29
00:03:59,373 --> 00:04:00,874
It's up to you.
30
00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,965
Aunt Roseanne!
Uncle Moses!
31
00:04:24,998 --> 00:04:27,368
Hey, there he is!
Hey!
32
00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:32,340
Oh, man, this is phat!
33
00:04:32,373 --> 00:04:33,907
Michael, you made it.
Yeah.
34
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:35,976
Hey, man.
Hey!
35
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:38,379
Boy, look at this kid.
How'd you get so big? What?
36
00:04:38,412 --> 00:04:41,515
I had nothin' better to do,
man. I know who you wanna see.
37
00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:43,584
Hello, Lance.
Nice to see ya!
38
00:04:43,617 --> 00:04:45,553
Huh-uh, no need to be sarcastic.
39
00:04:45,586 --> 00:04:47,788
Well, it's nice to
see you too. Yeah.
40
00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,857
So, shithead.
Hey!
41
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:55,729
Open your mouth as wide
as you comfortably can...
42
00:04:55,763 --> 00:04:58,031
and stick your tongue
straight out,
43
00:04:58,065 --> 00:05:02,736
keeping it very still,
to the count of four.
44
00:05:02,770 --> 00:05:06,440
Then bring it back in
and let it rest.
45
00:05:06,474 --> 00:05:08,742
We'll do eight of this exercise.
46
00:05:16,784 --> 00:05:19,487
So far you're doing just fine.
47
00:05:20,521 --> 00:05:22,423
Grandpa?
48
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:26,093
Hey!
49
00:05:29,397 --> 00:05:31,932
Ah!
50
00:05:31,965 --> 00:05:33,867
Keep studying your Polish. Okay.
51
00:05:33,901 --> 00:05:36,404
Bev, this is Mikey.
52
00:05:38,839 --> 00:05:43,577
She's cute. Mind if I have her
number? Hey. Lay off my gal.
53
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,546
Yes, sir.
54
00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:47,515
Bev, I've got company.
55
00:05:53,821 --> 00:05:57,391
Grandpa, are you okay?
56
00:05:58,959 --> 00:06:02,996
You know, Mikey,
a stroke is God's way...
57
00:06:03,030 --> 00:06:06,700
of trying to make me shut up.
58
00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:09,737
But it didn't work.
59
00:06:09,770 --> 00:06:11,672
Does it hurt?
60
00:06:13,741 --> 00:06:16,444
Frustrated.
61
00:06:16,477 --> 00:06:19,647
See, my thoughts are out there,
62
00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:22,916
but my words
are crawling behind.
63
00:06:24,452 --> 00:06:27,421
But Bev helps me.
64
00:06:27,455 --> 00:06:29,723
"A," "B," "C," "D,"
65
00:06:29,757 --> 00:06:32,793
"E," "F," "G,"
"H," "I," "J"...
66
00:06:32,826 --> 00:06:36,930
Grandpa, what is this?
"The skunk sat on a stump.
67
00:06:36,964 --> 00:06:40,968
The skunk thump the... thunk
the stump stunk"? Tongue twisters.
68
00:06:41,001 --> 00:06:45,739
- Just exercises.
- But you're gonna be okay, right?
69
00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:50,143
You know, Mikey,
the older I get,
70
00:06:50,177 --> 00:06:52,112
the better it was.
71
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,915
Hmm. Hah!
72
00:06:58,686 --> 00:07:01,589
I know why you're
really here, Lance.
73
00:07:02,956 --> 00:07:05,693
It won't work. What
are you talking about?
74
00:07:05,726 --> 00:07:10,030
You wanna make peace with Pa and by
some miracle get him to say he loves you.
75
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:12,199
You talk like we're
gonna elope or something.
76
00:07:12,232 --> 00:07:15,068
Pa showed it to me
in your Father's Day column.
77
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:18,939
Hey, I never sent that here.
78
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:24,945
I wore that robe
for my title fight.
79
00:07:24,978 --> 00:07:27,748
Are you sure I can have it?
80
00:07:27,781 --> 00:07:30,217
- Well, on one condition.
- Oh, yeah? What's that?
81
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:34,688
Never become a boxer.
82
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:41,795
Grandpa, did you ever think that
maybe you got your stroke from boxing?
83
00:07:44,231 --> 00:07:47,100
After all these years?
84
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:49,036
Maybe. Maybe.
85
00:07:50,938 --> 00:07:54,942
Oh!
86
00:07:54,975 --> 00:07:57,911
What's the worst he's done?
There's a lot to choose from, I'll tell ya.
87
00:07:57,945 --> 00:08:02,049
Last week at the Cooper's he
got drunk, started singing, yelling.
88
00:08:02,082 --> 00:08:03,526
He was babbling a whole
bunch of nonsense. No
89
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:04,994
one knew what the hell
he was talking about.
90
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:08,288
I had to drag our father
out of the room, Lance.
91
00:08:08,321 --> 00:08:11,024
That's because you let him
mix alcohol with his medication.
92
00:08:11,058 --> 00:08:13,861
You never, never
let him do that!
93
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:15,596
You're an asshole,
you know that?
94
00:08:19,232 --> 00:08:22,202
Oh, that was a long time ago.
95
00:08:22,235 --> 00:08:26,073
A hundred years ago.
96
00:08:26,106 --> 00:08:28,542
He was tough.
97
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:31,679
Oh, man.
Yeah.
98
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:33,914
Yes, I remember.
99
00:08:33,947 --> 00:08:36,684
Oh.
100
00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,652
Can you read English?
101
00:08:38,686 --> 00:08:40,588
"World Champion."
102
00:08:40,621 --> 00:08:42,856
Yeah.
Harry Agensky.
103
00:08:46,827 --> 00:08:48,729
Who's this guy?
104
00:08:49,963 --> 00:08:52,299
Duff the Muff Coogan.
105
00:08:52,332 --> 00:08:55,068
Big time Reno gangster.
106
00:08:55,102 --> 00:08:59,807
He wanted me
to drop a fight
and pay me in diamonds.
107
00:08:59,840 --> 00:09:01,975
Diamonds?
Yeah.
108
00:09:02,009 --> 00:09:05,679
Thirteen big ones that he stole.
109
00:09:05,713 --> 00:09:09,817
So what happened?
I dropped the fight.
110
00:09:09,850 --> 00:09:14,187
So you got the diamonds?
Well,
111
00:09:14,221 --> 00:09:17,958
Ellie wouldn't let me keep them.
112
00:09:19,192 --> 00:09:22,129
I always see her that way.
113
00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:27,768
So you just
gave the diamonds back?
114
00:09:27,801 --> 00:09:30,203
Well, not exactly.
115
00:09:30,237 --> 00:09:34,274
We buried the diamonds in
the kitchen wall of his house...
116
00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:37,244
so I could get them
whenever I wanted.
117
00:09:37,277 --> 00:09:40,814
So why don't you go get 'em?
118
00:09:40,848 --> 00:09:42,816
I forgot the address.
119
00:09:42,850 --> 00:09:44,818
Somewhere in Reno.
120
00:09:44,852 --> 00:09:46,987
But I will find the address,
121
00:09:47,020 --> 00:09:50,357
and I will get
these magic diamonds.
122
00:09:52,159 --> 00:09:55,128
Magic diamonds?
You'll see.
123
00:09:56,764 --> 00:09:58,932
I need the diamonds.
124
00:09:58,966 --> 00:10:02,970
I'm not going to end up
in an old man's home,
125
00:10:03,003 --> 00:10:05,205
eating soft food.
126
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,941
Let's go.
127
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:10,243
What's Pa wanna do?
128
00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,747
Pa wants to rent the Al thorn Ranch
and hire a companion to take care of him.
129
00:10:13,781 --> 00:10:16,917
- That sounds nice.
- Yeah, well, the ranch is what?
130
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:19,319
Four grand a month? And a
good companion costs another two.
131
00:10:19,352 --> 00:10:21,722
Where does he think he's
gonna get the money to pay for it?
132
00:10:21,755 --> 00:10:23,991
Magic diamonds.
133
00:10:24,024 --> 00:10:26,159
I thought he was over that.
134
00:10:26,193 --> 00:10:28,929
No. See, he's never
over anything, Lance.
135
00:10:28,962 --> 00:10:31,699
He just keeps getting worse
and worse and worse.
136
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:36,103
Hi, Pop.
137
00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:50,350
Why are Moses and Roseanne
so hard on Grandpa?
138
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:52,953
Oh, it's not that.
They love him.
139
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:55,655
It's just that
it's been hard for them.
140
00:10:56,957 --> 00:10:59,092
Dad, I was thinking.
141
00:10:59,126 --> 00:11:02,062
What do you say instead of going
to Banff, the three of us go to Reno?
142
00:11:02,095 --> 00:11:03,797
He told you the diamond story?
143
00:11:03,831 --> 00:11:06,099
Yeah.
144
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:08,311
Michael, when your grandma
died, Pa was under a lot of stress.
145
00:11:08,335 --> 00:11:10,437
He started with this wild
story of Duff the Muff...
146
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,906
and stolen diamonds
and a fixed fight.
147
00:11:12,940 --> 00:11:16,744
How many dreams could he possibly
have left? The least we could do is try.
148
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,712
Michael, he's an old man!
149
00:11:20,814 --> 00:11:22,983
Who I'll probably
never see again.
150
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:26,954
You said we were gonna have an
adventure. Well, I got news for you.
151
00:11:26,987 --> 00:11:30,357
Moses and Roseanne don't think
he's well enough to go to Banff.
152
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,893
All he wants him doing is going
out for walks around the house.
153
00:11:32,926 --> 00:11:34,962
Wait.
What are you saying?
154
00:11:34,995 --> 00:11:39,066
I'm saying we could go to Banff
ourselves or stay here and hang with Pa.
155
00:11:39,099 --> 00:11:41,201
Grandpa says
they can go to hell.
156
00:11:41,234 --> 00:11:44,938
What do you wanna do?
Kidnap him? Yeah, before sunrise.
157
00:11:44,972 --> 00:11:48,008
He says we could be up, over the
border before they even wake up.
158
00:11:48,041 --> 00:11:50,477
He even knows a crossing
no one knows, man. Come on!
159
00:11:58,919 --> 00:12:01,021
Look, I'm gonna go talk to Pa.
160
00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:04,457
Let's get a couple hours sleep,
then the three of us are out of here.
161
00:12:04,491 --> 00:12:07,227
What about Moses and Roseanne?
162
00:12:07,260 --> 00:12:09,897
Screw 'em.
163
00:12:26,346 --> 00:12:29,316
So what do we do now?
Just wake him up?
164
00:12:29,349 --> 00:12:32,986
See if he packed his bag.
I'll get his medicine.
165
00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:47,100
- Moses!
- Lance, Pa.
166
00:12:47,134 --> 00:12:49,102
It's Lance,
your other son. Lance.
167
00:12:49,136 --> 00:12:53,206
Whatever your name is.
Lance.
168
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:57,444
His mother gave him that name.
169
00:12:57,477 --> 00:13:01,081
I don't want to forget Bev.
170
00:13:01,114 --> 00:13:03,383
Hmm.
171
00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:06,353
Is he gonna be okay?
Christ, I hope so.
172
00:13:07,921 --> 00:13:10,357
What are you staring at?
Let's go.
173
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,826
Pa, be quiet!
174
00:13:32,012 --> 00:13:35,182
- Pa, it's nice to have you with us.
- Why?
175
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:40,888
Well, because I want you
and Mikey to...
176
00:13:40,921 --> 00:13:43,223
kinda get to know each other
a little better.
177
00:13:43,256 --> 00:13:46,927
- Before I die?
- I didn't say that.
178
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:54,467
Mikey, never get old.
179
00:13:54,501 --> 00:13:56,403
Just disappear.
180
00:14:27,968 --> 00:14:31,204
Hey, that biker
just flipped me off.
181
00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:35,208
Pa, what's going on here?
Did you do that?
182
00:14:39,579 --> 00:14:42,615
All right, Pa. Here's the
border. Just let me do the talking.
183
00:14:47,720 --> 00:14:52,926
Name, place of birth,
citizenship, purpose of trip.
184
00:14:52,960 --> 00:14:56,329
- Hi, how're you doin'?
- Please, just answer the questions.
185
00:14:56,363 --> 00:14:59,532
Sorry, I-I didn't mean...
I'm just being friendly.
186
00:14:59,566 --> 00:15:03,603
Uh, I'm Lance Agensky. I was born in
Vancouver. I'm a naturalized American.
187
00:15:03,636 --> 00:15:07,941
I'm taking a short vacation
with my son and my dad to Reno.
188
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,415
Born in Poland.
189
00:15:17,985 --> 00:15:23,256
Polish.
190
00:15:23,290 --> 00:15:27,127
- Huh?
- What did you say?
191
00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:31,664
There's a girl named Bev
stuffed in the trunk.
192
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:37,637
- Mr. Agensky.
- Yeah?
193
00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:40,040
Do you have
any illegal narcotics...
194
00:15:40,073 --> 00:15:42,742
on your person
or in your vehicle?
195
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,112
Yeah. Uh, no. No.
No.
196
00:15:45,145 --> 00:15:49,316
This is not a joke. Do you have a
criminal record of any kind? And don't lie.
197
00:15:49,349 --> 00:15:52,652
- I checked the computer.
- No.
198
00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:55,488
Okay. Your turn,
old man.
199
00:15:55,522 --> 00:15:58,725
Are you now, or have you ever been
a member of the Communist Party?
200
00:15:58,758 --> 00:16:01,128
No, no. No.
No.
201
00:16:03,563 --> 00:16:07,400
All right. Good news,
gentlemen. You're all clear.
202
00:16:07,434 --> 00:16:10,737
I don't think this man should
be traveling if he's so sick.
203
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:14,474
I'm just old.
Is that a crime?
204
00:16:14,507 --> 00:16:17,210
Do you want to arrest me
because I'm old?
205
00:16:17,244 --> 00:16:20,113
I mean, when my pappy lost it,
we couldn't take him anywhere.
206
00:16:20,147 --> 00:16:22,649
If I were you... You're not him!
207
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:25,652
You have something to say,
say it to me!
208
00:16:25,685 --> 00:16:29,222
Pa, calm down, now. He
means no harm, all right?
209
00:16:29,256 --> 00:16:31,191
What type of medication
is he on?
210
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:35,228
I ought to smash your head.
Lance, hit him!
211
00:16:35,262 --> 00:16:37,564
Pa, I think we'd just
better be going, all right?
212
00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:41,434
I forgot.
My son won't hit you.
213
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:44,104
He's a writer.
214
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:47,374
Jeez.
215
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,410
Thank you for
your understanding.
216
00:16:59,519 --> 00:17:01,788
Thank you. Bye-bye.
217
00:17:04,357 --> 00:17:07,360
Nice, Pa. Very nice.
You almost got us deported.
218
00:17:38,358 --> 00:17:41,428
I'm bringing him back!
219
00:17:41,461 --> 00:17:44,364
First he tells the customs officer
he's got Bev stuffed in the trunk.
220
00:17:44,397 --> 00:17:47,200
- Sounds like you've got a problem.
- Hey, Michael!
221
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:50,237
- Michael, no!
- Problems, Lance? I wonder why.
222
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,372
I'm glad I made your day.
223
00:17:52,405 --> 00:17:55,642
Michael! Hey!
Are you crazy?
224
00:17:55,675 --> 00:17:58,211
Hey! Excuse me.
225
00:17:58,245 --> 00:18:00,356
What are you doing? It's
my first cigarette in two days!
226
00:18:00,380 --> 00:18:02,749
I'll tell you when you
get a cigarette. When?
227
00:18:02,782 --> 00:18:05,818
With the blindfold,
just before I shoot you.
228
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:08,321
Guess what.
229
00:18:08,355 --> 00:18:10,490
What?
230
00:18:10,523 --> 00:18:13,193
Moses and Roseanne are going
to Seattle for a couple of days...
231
00:18:13,226 --> 00:18:16,529
while they
have their house fumigated.
232
00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:19,666
So you think it was a mistake
bringing him with us?
233
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:24,237
God, I hate it
when Moses is right.
234
00:18:24,271 --> 00:18:29,442
It'll take two days for their
house to clear of pesticides.
235
00:18:29,476 --> 00:18:34,381
Remember, we only have ourselves
to blame for this little scheme,
236
00:18:34,414 --> 00:18:38,218
so I guess we just have to keep
sucking it up for his sake, huh?
237
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,789
Yeah, I'm game.
238
00:18:48,461 --> 00:18:51,164
All right, now, Pa.
239
00:18:51,198 --> 00:18:54,267
One more ridiculous stunt,
240
00:18:54,301 --> 00:18:57,704
and I will turn this car around and
head back across the border so fast...
241
00:18:57,737 --> 00:19:01,508
it will make your head spin.
242
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:03,243
Lance.
243
00:19:06,813 --> 00:19:09,849
You look nervous.
I'll drive.
244
00:19:09,882 --> 00:19:12,319
Right on, Grandpa!
245
00:19:14,654 --> 00:19:16,589
You shouldn't
have taken my cigarette.
246
00:19:16,623 --> 00:19:18,791
Just shut up and get
your little ass in the car.
247
00:19:22,562 --> 00:19:24,464
Hey!
What are you doing?
248
00:19:25,632 --> 00:19:27,634
Whoo-hoo!
249
00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:30,237
Oh, yeah!
250
00:19:30,270 --> 00:19:32,772
Okay, the road
is to your left, Grandpa.
251
00:19:38,978 --> 00:19:41,981
Not so fast.
252
00:19:42,014 --> 00:19:45,285
You wanna get there, don't you?
253
00:19:45,318 --> 00:19:48,621
Right on, Grandpa!
254
00:19:48,655 --> 00:19:50,623
I don't think
you should be driving.
255
00:19:50,657 --> 00:19:56,396
I've been driving for 65
years. Wanna see my license?
256
00:19:56,429 --> 00:19:59,866
Watch out!
257
00:20:02,702 --> 00:20:05,972
Oh, Jesus Christ.
258
00:20:11,444 --> 00:20:14,547
Goddamn road hogs.
259
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:17,517
All right.
You drive.
260
00:20:37,304 --> 00:20:40,673
I'm sorry,
but I have to try it again.
261
00:20:40,707 --> 00:20:43,876
We stop every half hour, wait
20 minutes, and nothing happens.
262
00:20:43,910 --> 00:20:47,514
But I have to try to go.
Dad, he's got to go.
263
00:20:59,359 --> 00:21:01,361
Evening.
Hello.
264
00:21:01,394 --> 00:21:03,796
I need a double room with
a cot, please. And a VCR.
265
00:21:05,432 --> 00:21:07,434
No VCR.
266
00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:11,037
Uh, would you have
a strong laxative?
267
00:21:13,540 --> 00:21:17,910
The nearest drugstore is Dave's Drug
and Gun Emporium down the street.
268
00:21:17,944 --> 00:21:20,513
If you hurry, it's still open.
269
00:21:20,547 --> 00:21:23,483
Dave's Drug and Gun?
Mm-hmm.
270
00:21:23,516 --> 00:21:26,052
Mikey, you take over.
What?
271
00:21:26,085 --> 00:21:28,488
You a reporter?
272
00:21:29,889 --> 00:21:32,024
Oh! Um...
273
00:21:32,058 --> 00:21:36,529
Yeah, I'm a sports editor
for The San Jose Mercury.
274
00:21:36,563 --> 00:21:40,567
- Really? I used to be...
- An asshole.
275
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:44,371
Tarzan LeCompte.
276
00:21:44,404 --> 00:21:48,575
You tried to take my title
away, but I whupped you.
277
00:21:48,608 --> 00:21:50,577
No!
278
00:21:50,610 --> 00:21:52,745
You? It can't be!
279
00:21:52,779 --> 00:21:56,483
I heard you were dead.
Made my day.
280
00:21:56,516 --> 00:21:59,719
I'm going to straighten
that nose of yours.
281
00:21:59,752 --> 00:22:03,122
You stupid frog, what the
hell are you doing here?
282
00:22:06,559 --> 00:22:10,897
Tarzan, remember Duff
the Muff? Sure, who doesn't?
283
00:22:10,930 --> 00:22:14,734
The Muff was a real guy?
That's a stupid question.
284
00:22:14,767 --> 00:22:17,904
Will you give me
his address? Sure.
285
00:22:17,937 --> 00:22:21,874
Thanks.
But no rematch.
286
00:22:21,908 --> 00:22:24,076
I'd whip your behind.
287
00:22:24,110 --> 00:22:28,415
You weren't good enough to
be bum of the month. What?
288
00:22:28,448 --> 00:22:31,518
I was beating you bloody. If
it wasn't for that lucky punch,
289
00:22:31,551 --> 00:22:33,486
you'd be begging me
for a rematch.
290
00:22:33,520 --> 00:22:38,691
I knocked you out. Elvis was there
at ringside when you hit the deck.
291
00:22:38,725 --> 00:22:41,060
Guys. Guys, about
the room, huh? I...
292
00:22:41,093 --> 00:22:43,129
Follow me, kid.
293
00:22:48,868 --> 00:22:51,137
Music in every room.
294
00:22:51,170 --> 00:22:53,740
Oh, man.
295
00:22:55,875 --> 00:22:58,511
Yo. Yo,
Elvis was the King.
296
00:22:58,545 --> 00:23:00,480
I got all his tapes.
297
00:23:00,513 --> 00:23:02,114
Enjoy.
298
00:23:02,148 --> 00:23:06,653
And, Polack, forget the tip.
299
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:15,127
This was Ellie's favorite song.
300
00:23:19,732 --> 00:23:23,436
Why? Why?
301
00:23:23,470 --> 00:23:27,907
- Grandpa...
- Why did she have to die?
302
00:23:34,080 --> 00:23:36,048
Why didn't you die?
303
00:23:36,082 --> 00:23:38,518
You!
304
00:23:46,626 --> 00:23:48,761
Grandpa.
305
00:23:48,795 --> 00:23:51,030
Grandpa, it's gonna be okay.
306
00:23:51,063 --> 00:23:54,467
It's fine.
It's just fine.
307
00:24:00,807 --> 00:24:03,510
Everything's gonna be okay.
308
00:24:05,912 --> 00:24:08,915
We're gonna be okay.
309
00:24:10,783 --> 00:24:14,587
Oh, my God.
What happened?
310
00:24:14,621 --> 00:24:18,525
It's just a mirror and a
vase. This is my Elvis room!
311
00:24:18,558 --> 00:24:20,727
I'll... I'll pay for the damage.
312
00:24:20,760 --> 00:24:22,929
I don't want your money.
I want blood.
313
00:24:22,962 --> 00:24:26,132
Want blood?
314
00:24:26,165 --> 00:24:28,067
Oh, no.
Pa, no. Pa!
315
00:24:29,669 --> 00:24:32,271
I'll give you blood.
You're getting old, Harry.
316
00:24:32,304 --> 00:24:34,240
You couldn't hit
the side of a barn.
317
00:24:34,273 --> 00:24:36,809
Look at you.
318
00:24:36,843 --> 00:24:41,113
Oh, look at you, Harry. You look
like an old basset. You can't even talk.
319
00:24:41,147 --> 00:24:42,782
Oh!
320
00:24:42,815 --> 00:24:45,885
Now you got blood.
321
00:24:47,153 --> 00:24:49,288
I'll pay for the damages, sir.
322
00:24:49,321 --> 00:24:52,759
Just go on and get out of here.
323
00:24:52,792 --> 00:24:55,762
Go on!
And about that address...
324
00:24:55,795 --> 00:24:59,566
No! From that ape,
I won't take it.
325
00:24:59,599 --> 00:25:03,235
Grandpa, it's kind of important.
If it's from him, I won't go.
326
00:25:03,269 --> 00:25:06,272
432 Bear Cat Drive.
327
00:25:09,909 --> 00:25:11,811
What a sucker.
328
00:25:14,180 --> 00:25:16,215
Let's get out of here.
329
00:25:16,248 --> 00:25:18,785
We're going to be rich!
330
00:25:54,954 --> 00:26:00,259
Okay, okay.
This is 431, 430, 432.
331
00:26:38,064 --> 00:26:41,133
This is it.
332
00:26:50,142 --> 00:26:52,044
Mmm.
333
00:26:59,852 --> 00:27:01,788
Well, they aren't there.
334
00:27:10,429 --> 00:27:12,965
Grandpa, what's up
with those shades?
335
00:27:12,999 --> 00:27:16,235
I don't want people
to recognize me.
336
00:27:16,268 --> 00:27:19,171
I had a big title fight
in Vegas.
337
00:27:19,205 --> 00:27:21,941
A thousand years ago.
And, Pa, this is Reno.
338
00:27:21,974 --> 00:27:26,679
Used to be all desert. Incredible.
No, Grandpa, this is Reno.
339
00:27:26,713 --> 00:27:31,283
In my day, Vegas
was a neon whorehouse.
340
00:27:31,317 --> 00:27:34,086
This here looks like a farm.
341
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:39,025
Hey, read my lips.
R-E-N-O. "Ree-no."
342
00:27:39,058 --> 00:27:41,193
I'm not an idiot.
343
00:27:41,227 --> 00:27:45,431
I know this is R-E-N-O.
Reno!
344
00:27:45,464 --> 00:27:49,468
Now, drive,
or I'll take the wheel.
345
00:27:49,501 --> 00:27:53,039
Pa, I don't know how to
tell you this, but the house...
346
00:27:53,072 --> 00:27:55,407
I know. I know!
347
00:27:55,441 --> 00:27:58,745
I was awake all the time.
348
00:27:58,778 --> 00:28:01,247
Now we have to
track down the Muff.
349
00:28:01,280 --> 00:28:04,450
Why?
He has the diamonds.
350
00:28:04,483 --> 00:28:06,919
Look, I've got a better idea.
351
00:28:06,953 --> 00:28:12,358
Why don't we go to one of these
wonderful casinos and have some fun?
352
00:28:12,391 --> 00:28:14,426
No. No. No. Yeah, we
could play poker, the slots.
353
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:17,063
Get something to eat.
Get a room. We can kick it.
354
00:28:17,096 --> 00:28:20,332
Shower, shave.
Think of it, Pa. No. No.
355
00:28:20,366 --> 00:28:23,335
Your own toilet.
356
00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:25,271
Okay.
357
00:28:28,540 --> 00:28:32,211
Pa, can we get going?
Come on! Peter Piper picked...
358
00:28:32,244 --> 00:28:36,015
If we're gonna go, let's go. I'm
hungry. a peck of pickled peppers.
359
00:28:36,048 --> 00:28:41,187
How many pecks of pickled
peppers did Peter Piper pick?
360
00:28:41,220 --> 00:28:44,256
Pa, the day's not getting
any longer. It's already 4:30.
361
00:28:44,290 --> 00:28:48,194
The skunk sat on a stump.
362
00:29:12,484 --> 00:29:14,486
Whoo!
363
00:29:38,477 --> 00:29:40,312
I'm out.
364
00:29:42,114 --> 00:29:44,150
I'm out.
365
00:29:46,485 --> 00:29:50,489
How'd he get the name "The
Muff"? Was short for "muffins."
366
00:29:50,522 --> 00:29:53,192
Oh, yeah. Uh, Coogan.
The Muff. Sure. Yes.
367
00:29:53,225 --> 00:29:55,161
It must have been 15
years ago. That's right.
368
00:29:55,194 --> 00:29:59,565
The guy tips me five bucks;
Ten minutes later he's dead.
369
00:29:59,598 --> 00:30:02,268
Dead? They counted
32 bullet holes.
370
00:30:02,301 --> 00:30:05,938
Thirty-two holes?
Yeah.
371
00:30:05,972 --> 00:30:09,541
Who did it? If I knew,
do you think I'd tell you?
372
00:30:09,575 --> 00:30:11,477
Ask his son.
373
00:30:22,621 --> 00:30:24,991
And I raise you 50, sir.
374
00:30:33,199 --> 00:30:35,367
Show me.
375
00:30:35,401 --> 00:30:37,336
Straight flush.
376
00:30:37,369 --> 00:30:39,171
Diamonds.
377
00:30:42,474 --> 00:30:44,410
I know it hurts.
378
00:30:44,443 --> 00:30:46,612
Thank you, sir.
379
00:30:46,645 --> 00:30:49,048
A pleasure, gentlemen.
380
00:30:53,152 --> 00:30:55,187
Thank you, thank you.
381
00:31:04,263 --> 00:31:07,566
Oh, Grandpa, Grandpa, you've got
to let me just do one quarter, please.
382
00:31:07,599 --> 00:31:11,137
If the guard sees us,
we'll both end up in jail.
383
00:31:11,170 --> 00:31:13,539
All right.
384
00:31:27,153 --> 00:31:29,388
Oh, Grandpa,
look at all this money!
385
00:31:29,421 --> 00:31:32,224
- Look at all this money.
- Thanks.
386
00:31:32,258 --> 00:31:34,193
Whoo!
387
00:31:34,226 --> 00:31:36,228
So let's go spend some moola!
388
00:31:36,262 --> 00:31:38,630
I'm up for a
two-pound lobster dinner.
389
00:31:38,664 --> 00:31:41,000
I'd like a CD player. And
how about something for Pa?
390
00:31:41,033 --> 00:31:43,702
The most expensive
fedora we can find. Fedora!
391
00:31:43,735 --> 00:31:47,940
You always looked good in a
hat. Ellie never liked me in a hat.
392
00:31:47,974 --> 00:31:51,110
Oh, Pa. Pa,
the room's this way.
393
00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:53,045
Pa!
394
00:31:54,513 --> 00:31:57,616
Well, let's, uh, get some air.
395
00:31:57,649 --> 00:32:00,019
Like, what is life all about?
396
00:32:00,052 --> 00:32:01,988
I know. I know.
397
00:32:25,177 --> 00:32:27,546
Ellie?
398
00:32:33,785 --> 00:32:37,056
Remember?
399
00:32:40,592 --> 00:32:43,295
Oh, how I miss you, Ellie.
400
00:32:58,177 --> 00:33:01,480
Not bad, huh?
401
00:33:06,252 --> 00:33:08,754
Hey!
Hey, what are you doing?
402
00:33:08,787 --> 00:33:11,257
- No one move or he's dead!
- Okay!
403
00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:13,559
- I want your money!
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
404
00:33:13,592 --> 00:33:15,794
- Let's go! Now!
- There. Take it.
405
00:33:15,827 --> 00:33:19,131
- Now move back!
- Michael, no! Forget it!
406
00:33:21,200 --> 00:33:24,136
Michael, come back!
Come back! It's not worth it!
407
00:33:26,305 --> 00:33:29,375
Dad! Dad! Dad!
408
00:33:31,443 --> 00:33:34,413
Oh, my hand! My hand! He
sliced me, the son of a bitch!
409
00:33:34,446 --> 00:33:36,782
Pa! Pa!
410
00:33:39,718 --> 00:33:42,388
Don't fuck around
with the Polish Prince!
411
00:33:46,525 --> 00:33:48,760
- Give me that.
- Come on.
412
00:33:48,794 --> 00:33:51,197
He got his.
He sliced my hand.
413
00:33:51,230 --> 00:33:54,433
That guy must be crazy. Did
you see what I did to him? It hurts.
414
00:33:54,466 --> 00:33:56,266
I could have killed him.
Mikey, are you okay?
415
00:33:59,105 --> 00:34:01,140
Hotel operator.
Can I help you?
416
00:34:01,173 --> 00:34:06,612
Information. Do you have a
listing for Damon Coogan?
417
00:34:06,645 --> 00:34:10,316
Hey, guess what. They sell The
Mercury News across the street.
418
00:34:10,349 --> 00:34:13,185
My lucky day.
419
00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:16,054
Pa, it's time to take your
pills now, all right? Yeah.
420
00:34:18,757 --> 00:34:22,394
Moses? Lance. Remember?
I'm your other son.
421
00:34:22,428 --> 00:34:25,731
Whatever the hell your name is.
422
00:34:25,764 --> 00:34:29,401
I read your Father's Day column.
423
00:34:29,435 --> 00:34:33,172
Well, that was six months
ago. I'm not made that way.
424
00:34:33,205 --> 00:34:37,843
Pa, I wasn't writing specifically
about you. I was generalizing.
425
00:34:37,876 --> 00:34:42,414
I never beat you,
and I was proud of that.
426
00:34:42,448 --> 00:34:44,216
Great.
427
00:34:46,185 --> 00:34:49,221
You know, you could never
catch a ball.
428
00:34:49,255 --> 00:34:52,491
Moses understood me.
429
00:34:52,524 --> 00:34:54,860
He even tried to learn Polish.
430
00:34:54,893 --> 00:34:57,196
And I got mislaid
in the shuffle. I know.
431
00:34:57,229 --> 00:34:59,231
Why do you say that?
432
00:34:59,265 --> 00:35:01,800
Your mother understood you.
433
00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:04,636
Did it ever occur to you
that I might have needed you?
434
00:35:04,670 --> 00:35:07,806
Listen, Moses... uh, Lance.
435
00:35:07,839 --> 00:35:12,844
Why don't you spend ten grand
on a shrink? I'll give you the money.
436
00:35:12,878 --> 00:35:16,582
He'll tell you that it
was all your father's fault.
437
00:35:16,615 --> 00:35:19,218
- I already did that.
- And that's what he said, no?
438
00:35:20,752 --> 00:35:22,721
And not to make the
same mistake with my son.
439
00:35:22,754 --> 00:35:25,257
And you did, didn't you?
440
00:35:25,291 --> 00:35:28,394
Look, all I ever wanted from you
was just that you believe in me a little.
441
00:35:28,427 --> 00:35:30,729
My little projects or whatever.
442
00:35:30,762 --> 00:35:32,640
Just, you know, that you
gave me a little respect.
443
00:35:32,664 --> 00:35:34,833
Respect? Why?
444
00:35:34,866 --> 00:35:38,237
Why? Why?
I'm your son, goddamn it!
445
00:35:38,270 --> 00:35:42,874
- You gave Moses everything!
- I never gave Moses any more respect.
446
00:35:42,908 --> 00:35:46,245
Look, at this point,
I don't care.
447
00:35:46,278 --> 00:35:48,380
Well, I care!
448
00:35:48,414 --> 00:35:51,917
My father beat the hell
out of me.
449
00:35:51,950 --> 00:35:54,586
And he never gave me
a pat on the back,
450
00:35:54,620 --> 00:35:57,656
even when I won
the championship.
451
00:35:57,689 --> 00:35:59,701
Just because your father
never gave you a pat on the back,
452
00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:02,394
that gives you the right
to kick my ass?
453
00:36:02,428 --> 00:36:05,431
I never kicked you in
the ass! Look at me.
454
00:36:05,464 --> 00:36:08,200
Am I a monster?
455
00:36:08,234 --> 00:36:12,271
Maybe I can't talk,
but I can read.
456
00:36:12,304 --> 00:36:13,805
I can read.
Father's Day.
457
00:36:20,379 --> 00:36:23,782
Look, why don't you just admit you
weren't there when I needed you?
458
00:36:25,684 --> 00:36:30,289
Where was I?
In the saloon getting drunk?
459
00:36:30,322 --> 00:36:34,260
No! I was
making a living!
460
00:36:34,293 --> 00:36:37,763
I was training, running,
hitting the bag,
461
00:36:37,796 --> 00:36:40,566
boxing, sparring, fighting,
462
00:36:40,599 --> 00:36:42,468
getting my brains knocked out!
463
00:36:44,503 --> 00:36:47,373
And for what?
For you.
464
00:36:47,406 --> 00:36:49,908
For Moses. For Ellie!
465
00:36:49,941 --> 00:36:53,245
For my family!
466
00:36:53,279 --> 00:36:55,281
Pa!
467
00:36:56,748 --> 00:36:58,884
I tried.
468
00:36:58,917 --> 00:37:02,554
Goddamn it, I tried.
I tried it the best I could.
469
00:37:02,588 --> 00:37:04,956
I tried. I tried.
470
00:37:04,990 --> 00:37:07,726
I always tried my best.
471
00:37:23,475 --> 00:37:25,377
Pa, I'm sorry.
472
00:37:26,612 --> 00:37:28,514
I love you, Pa.
473
00:37:33,485 --> 00:37:37,423
Are you proud of yourself?
It's between him and me.
474
00:37:37,456 --> 00:37:41,427
You know the difference between you
and Sam is? Sam's a man and you're a wuss.
475
00:37:41,460 --> 00:37:43,695
What? I should never
have come on this trip.
476
00:37:43,729 --> 00:37:45,664
Wait a minute.
Y-You wanted to come.
477
00:37:45,697 --> 00:37:47,642
This was supposed to be
our special time together.
478
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,668
No, Mom wanted
to be alone with Sam.
479
00:37:49,701 --> 00:37:51,870
She said I had a choice
between you and Auntie Elba.
480
00:37:51,903 --> 00:37:55,574
Oh, great. I beat out
a 90-year-old Nazi.
481
00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:58,544
Look, I need a smoke
and a beer, all right? What?
482
00:37:58,577 --> 00:38:01,279
Hey, Michael,
come back here. Hey!
483
00:38:02,981 --> 00:38:06,685
- Where are you going?
- Just back off, all right?
484
00:38:07,753 --> 00:38:09,655
Michael!
485
00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:16,428
Mmm.
486
00:38:33,712 --> 00:38:35,781
Michael!
Where have you been?
487
00:38:35,814 --> 00:38:38,917
I've been looking
everywhere for you.
488
00:38:38,950 --> 00:38:42,020
I've been right here.
"Right here."
489
00:38:42,053 --> 00:38:43,798
What's the legal drinking age
in Nevada now?
490
00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:47,426
Is it still 21?
Or is it 18 or 12?
491
00:38:47,459 --> 00:38:49,795
Actually, in Nevada, you
can drink soda at any age.
492
00:38:54,866 --> 00:38:56,768
I'm sorry. I...
493
00:39:00,739 --> 00:39:02,774
Can I join ya?
494
00:39:02,808 --> 00:39:05,611
It'll cost ya.
495
00:39:05,644 --> 00:39:07,679
All right, I...
496
00:39:07,713 --> 00:39:09,615
I'm listening.
497
00:39:13,919 --> 00:39:16,655
You have to tell me what
your biggest regret in life is.
498
00:39:18,790 --> 00:39:23,028
All right. I'll tell you
my one big regret.
499
00:39:26,798 --> 00:39:29,468
I never had a relationship
with my father.
500
00:39:29,501 --> 00:39:33,472
- Is that your fault?
- I don't know.
501
00:39:33,505 --> 00:39:36,775
Oh, come on. You know it's
always the dad's fault, right?
502
00:39:36,808 --> 00:39:40,612
And I think I'm creating
the same dynamic with you.
503
00:39:43,549 --> 00:39:45,684
Is that your fault?
504
00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:48,954
Well, I heard an expert once
say it's always the dad's fault.
505
00:39:51,490 --> 00:39:54,125
Really? Well, that expert must
have been a pretty smart guy.
506
00:39:54,159 --> 00:39:57,095
His father was pretty
smart. Really? Cool.
507
00:39:57,128 --> 00:39:59,097
Yeah. Yeah.
Hmm.
508
00:39:59,130 --> 00:40:01,967
That's pushing it.
509
00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:05,704
- Do you speak English?
- I am. What Coogan?
510
00:40:05,737 --> 00:40:08,474
I'll take a-any Coogan you got.
511
00:40:08,507 --> 00:40:11,710
We don't have any, sir.
Oh.
512
00:40:11,743 --> 00:40:14,646
Well, how about unlisted?
Unlisted?
513
00:40:14,680 --> 00:40:16,915
Yeah. The...
I can't do that.
514
00:40:16,948 --> 00:40:21,086
Oh. Give me a little hint. Sir.
515
00:40:21,119 --> 00:40:26,124
Hey, how about if I offer
to pay you money?
516
00:40:26,157 --> 00:40:29,194
Are you drunk?
I'm not drunk!
517
00:40:29,227 --> 00:40:31,997
- Good-bye.
- I... Hello? Hello?
518
00:40:33,899 --> 00:40:37,002
So, when was the first
time you got stoned?
519
00:40:37,035 --> 00:40:40,105
What makes you think
I ever got stoned?
520
00:40:40,138 --> 00:40:42,073
Because you're not
a total loser.
521
00:40:42,107 --> 00:40:46,177
Oh, that's how it works, huh?
You're hip, so you get stoned.
522
00:40:46,211 --> 00:40:48,780
Look, you don't want
to answer, fine. Forget it.
523
00:40:53,251 --> 00:40:55,587
Her name was Gissa.
524
00:40:55,621 --> 00:40:58,524
I was 21,
dating a 39-year-old woman.
525
00:40:58,557 --> 00:41:01,192
Damn!
526
00:41:01,226 --> 00:41:04,830
She was gorgeous.
I mean...
527
00:41:04,863 --> 00:41:08,800
She puts these headphones
on me, rolls me up a jay.
528
00:41:08,834 --> 00:41:11,136
What music did she play?
529
00:41:11,169 --> 00:41:13,872
Neil Diamond.
530
00:41:13,905 --> 00:41:15,907
I didn't think you had it in ya.
531
00:41:15,941 --> 00:41:19,144
Don't ever tell
Grandpa, huh? Aw.
532
00:41:21,847 --> 00:41:24,783
This time we'll make our
lips smile and then pucker.
533
00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:28,219
Bring your lips up into a big
smile with your teeth closed.
534
00:41:28,253 --> 00:41:31,690
The happy face pucker
will look like this.
535
00:41:33,925 --> 00:41:37,563
Let's go, Bev. Five,
six, seven, eight.
536
00:42:02,654 --> 00:42:05,094
Now that our lips
are getting limber,
we'll do some lip smacks.
537
00:42:06,725 --> 00:42:10,829
I got you.
And you pay for dinner.
538
00:42:10,862 --> 00:42:13,965
And I'm hungry!
No, I... Get up!
539
00:42:18,970 --> 00:42:20,906
Harry, your fly's open.
540
00:42:20,939 --> 00:42:23,208
Nothing will fly out.
541
00:42:24,810 --> 00:42:27,813
Mmm. Another vodka.
542
00:42:27,846 --> 00:42:30,348
Uh, double.
543
00:42:30,381 --> 00:42:33,885
That should make you happy.
Oh, you'd better believe it.
544
00:42:37,656 --> 00:42:40,926
Pa, if there was one thing that you
could do, what would that one thing be?
545
00:42:43,261 --> 00:42:45,597
Get laid.
546
00:42:45,631 --> 00:42:47,966
Oh, yeah!
You the man!
547
00:42:47,999 --> 00:42:51,369
What did you say?
Listen, I'm serious.
548
00:42:51,402 --> 00:42:54,740
I haven't had sex
in eight years!
549
00:42:54,773 --> 00:42:58,243
- Pa, please.
- I'm a man, goddamn it!
550
00:42:58,276 --> 00:43:02,180
Before I go,
I wanna have a woman.
551
00:43:02,213 --> 00:43:04,683
He's not been well.
He's had a stroke.
552
00:43:04,716 --> 00:43:07,331
Oh, who gives a damn
about itsy-bitsy stroke?
553
00:43:07,355 --> 00:43:08,219
Sit down,
554
00:43:08,253 --> 00:43:10,355
Just sit down, will you?
You old drunk!
555
00:43:10,388 --> 00:43:13,191
You're a bunch of pussies.
556
00:43:13,224 --> 00:43:15,694
Pussies!
557
00:43:15,727 --> 00:43:19,330
P-U-S-S... S... How are my S's?
558
00:43:19,364 --> 00:43:22,167
- Perfect.
- Perfect? Very good.
559
00:43:23,769 --> 00:43:26,004
I'm not buying
a prostitute for you.
560
00:43:26,037 --> 00:43:29,307
I hear that college girls...
561
00:43:29,340 --> 00:43:34,279
are really into old men
with slurred speech.
562
00:43:34,312 --> 00:43:37,182
- Kind of kinky.
- Yeah.
563
00:43:37,215 --> 00:43:40,385
But who am I to complain?
564
00:43:44,289 --> 00:43:47,058
All right. I'll find a
place and drop you off.
565
00:43:47,092 --> 00:43:51,797
When was the last time
you had sex?
566
00:43:51,830 --> 00:43:54,966
Pa, not in front of my
son, all right? Oh, come on!
567
00:43:55,000 --> 00:43:57,168
He hasn't gotten any
since him and Mom separated.
568
00:43:59,470 --> 00:44:03,141
And I bet you're a virgin.
569
00:44:03,174 --> 00:44:07,012
Oh, please!
I am not a virgin.
570
00:44:07,045 --> 00:44:09,715
- I'm not.
- A toast.
571
00:44:09,748 --> 00:44:13,952
To my last love,
572
00:44:13,985 --> 00:44:15,987
to Mikey's first...
573
00:44:16,021 --> 00:44:19,891
and to Lance's... whatever.
574
00:44:19,925 --> 00:44:22,460
- I think not.
- Why not?
575
00:44:22,493 --> 00:44:24,404
I'm not gonna be a party
to you learning about
576
00:44:24,428 --> 00:44:26,297
women being bought
and sold as commodities.
577
00:44:26,331 --> 00:44:32,170
- They are not cattle.
- You need sex more than I do.
578
00:44:32,203 --> 00:44:35,440
And Mikey has to start sometime.
579
00:44:35,473 --> 00:44:39,845
If your mother ever found out
we were even talking about this,
580
00:44:39,878 --> 00:44:42,113
I would lose visitation
rights for eternity.
581
00:44:42,147 --> 00:44:43,882
I'd... I'd be willing
to risk that.
582
00:44:45,516 --> 00:44:48,720
Gentlemen, two Cokes.
583
00:44:48,754 --> 00:44:52,958
There you go.
And... a... double.
584
00:44:52,991 --> 00:44:55,894
Uh,
585
00:44:55,927 --> 00:45:00,431
"June," where is the best
chicken ranch in town?
586
00:45:00,465 --> 00:45:03,001
- Pa, come on!
- I beg your pardon?
587
00:45:03,034 --> 00:45:05,904
Oh. Uh...
588
00:45:07,105 --> 00:45:11,376
I know just the place.
589
00:45:13,779 --> 00:45:17,783
The girls are the best.
Thank you.
590
00:45:17,816 --> 00:45:19,785
My pleasure.
591
00:45:22,487 --> 00:45:24,222
Read it.
592
00:45:29,194 --> 00:45:31,897
"State of Nirvana. Sister
Sin-Dee and Girls Incorporated.
593
00:45:31,930 --> 00:45:34,099
"Five miles east on Logger's
Road off High Point's Pass.
594
00:45:34,132 --> 00:45:37,735
- Ten percent off with this card."
- I'm ready!
595
00:45:39,237 --> 00:45:43,074
Ahh! Like
Red Hot Henry Brown.
596
00:45:43,108 --> 00:45:46,311
Who's he?
The hottest man in town.
597
00:45:49,480 --> 00:45:51,416
He's cut off.
That's it.
598
00:46:04,395 --> 00:46:06,898
Dad, there's a lot of cultures
in the world... Mm-hmm.
599
00:46:06,932 --> 00:46:10,268
Where fathers take their sons to
the local madam to lose their virginity.
600
00:46:10,301 --> 00:46:12,303
It can be a very powerful
bonding experience. Fine.
601
00:46:12,337 --> 00:46:14,539
You know what I'm saying? No.
602
00:46:14,572 --> 00:46:18,343
What made this country great?
Democracy.
603
00:46:18,376 --> 00:46:20,912
Uh, your point being?
Let's have a vote.
604
00:46:20,946 --> 00:46:22,948
Oh! That sounds
totally fair, yeah.
605
00:46:22,981 --> 00:46:26,384
You know I'm gonna be
outvoted. You can't be sure.
606
00:46:26,417 --> 00:46:29,554
What? You're not
gonna vote yes?
607
00:46:29,587 --> 00:46:33,324
I wanna vote yes, but I'll
vote no out of respect for you.
608
00:46:33,358 --> 00:46:35,460
Oh. I was
born yesterday.
609
00:46:35,493 --> 00:46:38,529
Look, just give me
the respect of a vote, okay?
610
00:46:38,563 --> 00:46:43,534
I'll give you the respect of a no. I
don't think women are cattle either.
611
00:46:43,568 --> 00:46:46,104
Just trust me, okay?
612
00:46:46,137 --> 00:46:50,508
Lance, if you don't
trust your own son...
613
00:46:52,410 --> 00:46:55,246
Right. Okay. Good.
I'll trust you.
614
00:46:55,280 --> 00:46:58,583
Because if you don't have trust,
I mean, you have nothing, right?
615
00:46:58,616 --> 00:47:01,519
Okay. Go, Congressman.
It's your vote.
616
00:47:03,188 --> 00:47:07,125
I vote yes, I go.
We have nothing.
617
00:47:07,158 --> 00:47:10,996
I wanted to vote no, okay?
My testosterone just took over.
618
00:47:11,029 --> 00:47:13,398
It's not my fault
I was born a male, okay?
619
00:47:13,431 --> 00:47:15,867
It's your turn, Grandpa.
620
00:47:15,901 --> 00:47:19,570
Mikey, I told him to trust you.
621
00:47:19,604 --> 00:47:23,141
I have to trust my son.
622
00:47:23,174 --> 00:47:26,878
I vote no.
Thank you.
623
00:47:26,912 --> 00:47:29,080
Shit!
Take it like a man.
624
00:47:29,114 --> 00:47:31,316
No, I don't have to take it
like anything, Grandpa.
625
00:47:31,349 --> 00:47:33,418
Now I see why you
drove my dad nuts, huh?
626
00:47:33,451 --> 00:47:36,054
Wait a minute.
There's one more vote.
627
00:47:37,355 --> 00:47:39,290
Oh, right. Lance.
Sorry we forgot you.
628
00:47:39,324 --> 00:47:42,527
Go ahead. Vote away.
You already know my vote.
629
00:47:42,560 --> 00:47:45,463
That's not how a democracy
works. Oh, right. Right.
630
00:47:45,496 --> 00:47:49,100
It works on lies?
Just vote, okay?
631
00:47:49,134 --> 00:47:51,036
All right.
632
00:47:52,703 --> 00:47:56,074
Yes. I knew you...
What? Yes, what?
633
00:47:56,107 --> 00:47:58,944
Yes, I'm going to hell
in a handcart.
634
00:47:58,977 --> 00:48:01,612
Yes, I'm going to the penitentiary
at the hand of your mother.
635
00:48:01,646 --> 00:48:04,082
And yes, you're about
to have an experience...
636
00:48:04,115 --> 00:48:06,451
that I will probably lament
for the rest of my life.
637
00:48:06,484 --> 00:48:09,620
Yes? Yeah!
Whoo-hoo!
638
00:48:09,654 --> 00:48:13,959
Yeah! Whoo-hoo!
639
00:48:13,992 --> 00:48:16,361
Whoo-hoo!
640
00:48:16,394 --> 00:48:18,296
All right!
641
00:48:34,212 --> 00:48:36,547
You look cool, Grandpa.
Cool?
642
00:48:36,581 --> 00:48:39,084
Hey, I'm cold.
643
00:48:39,117 --> 00:48:41,352
Don't you ever put the top up?
644
00:48:41,386 --> 00:48:43,288
Pa, you know it's broken.
645
00:48:44,589 --> 00:48:47,258
You know, I hate to
mention it at this point,
646
00:48:47,292 --> 00:48:49,394
but what if they say
Michael's too young?
647
00:48:49,427 --> 00:48:51,662
No prob. I got a California
I.D. that says I'm 21.
648
00:48:51,696 --> 00:48:53,999
Does every 18-year old
have a fake I.D.?
649
00:48:54,032 --> 00:48:56,534
You did. Hey, come
on. You were 18 once.
650
00:48:56,567 --> 00:48:58,503
Can't you remember
that far back?
651
00:48:58,536 --> 00:49:01,372
I was only 18 for about a year.
652
00:49:01,406 --> 00:49:05,376
I feel 15 or maybe 16.
653
00:49:08,079 --> 00:49:10,548
Well, ring the bell.
654
00:49:10,581 --> 00:49:12,483
Right.
655
00:49:22,693 --> 00:49:24,729
Hi. Hi. Hello.
656
00:49:24,762 --> 00:49:28,499
Hello. Come on in.
657
00:49:28,533 --> 00:49:30,668
Thank you.
658
00:49:33,438 --> 00:49:36,041
Oh, wow.
This is a nice place.
659
00:49:36,074 --> 00:49:38,643
Thank you.
My name is Sin-Dee.
660
00:49:38,676 --> 00:49:40,678
Miss Sin-Dee.
Mm-hmm.
661
00:49:40,711 --> 00:49:43,148
What's yours?
662
00:49:43,181 --> 00:49:45,216
I'm Michael.
Lance.
663
00:49:47,152 --> 00:49:51,322
Does Harry the Polish Prince
ring a bell?
664
00:49:51,356 --> 00:49:54,659
Oh, now, let me think.
You're the Prince of Poland.
665
00:49:54,692 --> 00:49:57,062
Very funny.
666
00:49:57,095 --> 00:50:01,666
I was a welterweight
boxing champion of the world.
667
00:50:01,699 --> 00:50:03,734
Ooh, very impressive.
668
00:50:03,768 --> 00:50:06,537
He was the best.
669
00:50:06,571 --> 00:50:08,639
How old are you?
670
00:50:08,673 --> 00:50:11,342
I'm 24.
Twenty-one.
671
00:50:14,112 --> 00:50:18,049
- Whose idea was it to bring you here?
- He has a California I.D.
672
00:50:19,750 --> 00:50:22,087
I don't really
have an I.D.
673
00:50:22,120 --> 00:50:24,755
I was just saying that.
You have an I.D. card.
674
00:50:24,789 --> 00:50:27,458
- Remember? - Pa.
- What?
675
00:50:27,492 --> 00:50:29,294
In your pocket.
676
00:50:31,196 --> 00:50:34,199
The alley.
Oh.
677
00:50:34,232 --> 00:50:36,401
Ohh!
Yeah.
678
00:50:43,241 --> 00:50:46,311
Oh. Your name
is Benjamin Franklin?
679
00:50:46,344 --> 00:50:49,447
Uh, his friends call him Benjie.
680
00:50:53,218 --> 00:50:57,255
Benjie, here's your hundred.
681
00:50:57,288 --> 00:51:02,493
I'm sure your father will take
care of your bill very generously.
682
00:51:02,527 --> 00:51:04,662
Oh, yeah.
Yeah, he's a big tipper.
683
00:51:04,695 --> 00:51:10,435
I'm glad to hear that. Ah,
father, son. Father, son.
684
00:51:10,468 --> 00:51:15,240
- A family project.
- One for all and all for one.
685
00:51:15,273 --> 00:51:18,176
Ah, lovely.
686
00:51:18,209 --> 00:51:21,512
Well, since you're here,
I'll let it go this time.
687
00:51:21,546 --> 00:51:25,650
This really, really means a lot
to me. Thank you, Miss Sin-Dee.
688
00:51:25,683 --> 00:51:29,254
Mm-hmm. Follow me.
689
00:51:41,932 --> 00:51:44,235
Girls?
690
00:51:57,415 --> 00:52:01,619
- Guys, you all right?
- Couldn't be better.
691
00:52:01,652 --> 00:52:06,157
Uh, Mikey, you choose first.
692
00:52:13,531 --> 00:52:18,703
Um, well, first off, ladies, I...
693
00:52:18,736 --> 00:52:23,174
I want you all to know
that I have great respect...
694
00:52:23,208 --> 00:52:25,343
for you all as women.
695
00:52:25,376 --> 00:52:29,747
I-I do. And in no way do
I think of you as objects,
696
00:52:29,780 --> 00:52:33,618
but more as pieces of art.
697
00:52:33,651 --> 00:52:38,189
Um, you know, you're
beautiful and feminine and...
698
00:52:38,223 --> 00:52:40,658
Hi... real flesh and bone.
699
00:52:40,691 --> 00:52:45,363
Um, I also support equal
rights and equal pay for women...
700
00:52:45,396 --> 00:52:49,334
Little boy, I don't care
if you respect me or not.
701
00:52:49,367 --> 00:52:54,472
I just want you to caress every part of
my body as I grind my hips into yours.
702
00:52:54,505 --> 00:52:57,908
I want to lick your ear and push
my hands down your pants...
703
00:52:57,942 --> 00:53:01,746
and make you cry for mercy as I
take you to places so good it hurts.
704
00:53:04,749 --> 00:53:07,652
- Um, I'm gonna take her.
- Good.
705
00:53:09,387 --> 00:53:11,656
See you later, Dad.
706
00:53:14,659 --> 00:53:16,561
Ahh.
707
00:53:23,801 --> 00:53:27,738
I feel like a kid
in a candy store.
708
00:53:27,772 --> 00:53:31,909
First, a bottle of champagne.
709
00:53:33,478 --> 00:53:35,813
Maybe two.
Ooh.
710
00:53:38,416 --> 00:53:40,485
Let's see.
711
00:53:42,587 --> 00:53:45,790
Her, her,
712
00:53:47,024 --> 00:53:50,428
the one with the big tongue.
713
00:53:53,764 --> 00:53:56,401
Ladies, lead the way.
714
00:54:00,638 --> 00:54:05,376
I live dangerously
because I'm Red Hot Henry Brown,
715
00:54:05,410 --> 00:54:07,612
the hottest man in town.
716
00:54:17,522 --> 00:54:20,858
We're waiting.
717
00:54:23,994 --> 00:54:26,497
Holy shit.
718
00:54:26,531 --> 00:54:28,999
You can make it.
719
00:54:29,033 --> 00:54:31,769
Come on.
720
00:54:31,802 --> 00:54:35,773
I'm coming. I'm coming.
721
00:54:50,955 --> 00:54:55,626
Okay, smart boy,
what's it gonna be?
722
00:54:55,660 --> 00:54:58,796
'Cause I do it all.
723
00:54:58,829 --> 00:55:04,669
Uh, h-how about a...
shoulder rub?
724
00:55:04,702 --> 00:55:08,339
Th-That'd be good.
I've been driving.
725
00:55:08,373 --> 00:55:11,609
Oh.
726
00:55:11,642 --> 00:55:13,778
A shy one.
727
00:55:13,811 --> 00:55:16,847
Okay. We'll take it
really slow.
728
00:55:18,616 --> 00:55:22,052
Let's go upstairs.
729
00:55:25,756 --> 00:55:28,793
One more drink before we start.
730
00:55:33,531 --> 00:55:36,066
Men, I salute you.
731
00:55:38,903 --> 00:55:41,105
Follow me.
732
00:55:41,138 --> 00:55:45,042
Follow me if you please.
733
00:55:45,075 --> 00:55:47,111
Uh, halt.
734
00:55:47,144 --> 00:55:51,015
What a beautiful platoon.
735
00:55:52,917 --> 00:55:58,022
Our mission:
A trip to paradise.
736
00:55:58,055 --> 00:56:00,858
Volunteers?
737
00:56:02,493 --> 00:56:04,962
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
738
00:56:04,995 --> 00:56:08,098
Oh, ohh.
739
00:56:08,132 --> 00:56:11,068
Look, I'm just not
into paying for sex.
740
00:56:11,101 --> 00:56:13,971
So, what? I get
paid for nothing?
741
00:56:14,004 --> 00:56:18,008
Have you ever heard of
self-respect for a job well done?
742
00:56:18,042 --> 00:56:21,946
Sure, sure, but... Probably think I'm white
trash, and you're not attracted to me.
743
00:56:21,979 --> 00:56:24,181
Oh, now, you know
you're a beautiful young woman.
744
00:56:24,214 --> 00:56:27,785
I'm average. Whatever you
think. That's not my point.
745
00:56:27,818 --> 00:56:30,521
So then you're
not attracted to me?
746
00:56:30,555 --> 00:56:32,757
Look. You're
being paid for it.
747
00:56:32,790 --> 00:56:37,428
You know, that's what's wrong with America.
Everybody wants something for nothing.
748
00:56:37,462 --> 00:56:41,566
Well, not me. I won't sit at
home and collect welfare.
749
00:56:41,599 --> 00:56:45,069
I got a job.
I pay taxes.
750
00:56:45,102 --> 00:56:48,673
And I have
great job satisfaction.
751
00:56:48,706 --> 00:56:52,743
And I will not let some
bourgeoisie try and stop me.
752
00:56:52,777 --> 00:56:56,080
"Bourgeoisie"? What kind
of call girl are you, anyway?
753
00:56:56,113 --> 00:56:58,949
- You think I'm a victim?
- Ooh.
754
00:56:58,983 --> 00:57:01,886
That I got a heart of gold and
that all I really want is a good man...
755
00:57:01,919 --> 00:57:04,822
who doesn't drink
and won't beat me?
756
00:57:07,925 --> 00:57:10,795
Have you ever touched a
breast as lovely as mine?
757
00:57:12,162 --> 00:57:15,265
Does bumped into count?
758
00:57:19,136 --> 00:57:21,672
Um... Are you okay?
759
00:57:21,706 --> 00:57:25,476
Y-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Um, I'm fine.
760
00:57:25,510 --> 00:57:28,546
Have you ever experienced...
761
00:57:30,014 --> 00:57:33,684
sexual ecstasy?
762
00:57:33,718 --> 00:57:36,621
Uh, yeah, yeah.
Of course.
763
00:57:36,654 --> 00:57:39,557
I mean, by myself.
764
00:57:44,061 --> 00:57:47,264
Put your hand in here.
765
00:57:47,297 --> 00:57:50,134
Do it.
766
00:57:59,610 --> 00:58:02,680
- Do you like it?
- Yes, yes.
767
00:58:02,713 --> 00:58:06,050
It-It's nice.
It's really nice.
768
00:58:06,083 --> 00:58:08,953
Are you okay?
769
00:58:08,986 --> 00:58:11,255
I...
770
00:58:11,288 --> 00:58:16,627
Oh, um... I'm sorry.
771
00:58:16,661 --> 00:58:19,697
For what?
772
00:58:19,730 --> 00:58:22,567
I-I, um...
773
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:27,004
I-I'm finished.
I'm done.
774
00:58:27,037 --> 00:58:29,239
Thank you.
775
00:58:34,144 --> 00:58:37,782
You know, your problem is
you don't know how to have sex.
776
00:58:41,318 --> 00:58:44,254
You only know how to make love.
777
00:58:45,790 --> 00:58:48,125
And there's a problem with that?
778
00:58:48,158 --> 00:58:51,962
Only making love
denies the animal in us,
779
00:58:51,996 --> 00:58:54,865
the bestial impulse
that wraps two human beings...
780
00:58:54,899 --> 00:58:58,869
in a ball of flesh,
tongues, and sweat.
781
00:58:58,903 --> 00:59:02,940
Ah. Bestial impulse. Yeah.
Should've said so before.
782
00:59:04,675 --> 00:59:07,578
Look. I can't make love
with a woman who won't kiss me,
783
00:59:07,612 --> 00:59:09,947
and call girls
aren't supposed to kiss, right?
784
00:59:13,651 --> 00:59:16,754
But warriors
devour their enemies.
785
00:59:16,787 --> 00:59:20,290
Tongues and flesh.
786
00:59:33,771 --> 00:59:38,042
- I don't know.
- I think he got scared.
787
00:59:38,075 --> 00:59:40,711
Everybody out.
788
00:59:47,284 --> 00:59:49,987
I used to be a bull.
789
01:00:03,734 --> 01:00:06,170
What a fool.
790
01:00:06,203 --> 01:00:09,273
A ridiculous fool.
791
01:00:09,306 --> 01:00:12,076
Four women. Why not?
792
01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:15,646
In my dreams, I've had dozens.
793
01:00:17,414 --> 01:00:20,084
Were you married long?
794
01:00:24,154 --> 01:00:27,624
Forty-five wonderful years.
795
01:00:29,026 --> 01:00:31,962
Forty-five years
with one special person?
796
01:00:31,996 --> 01:00:34,331
You were lucky.
797
01:00:34,364 --> 01:00:37,702
She's still here.
798
01:00:37,735 --> 01:00:41,806
Well, after 45 years,
I would hope so.
799
01:00:43,240 --> 01:00:46,677
Would she mind your being here?
800
01:00:46,711 --> 01:00:51,415
Ellie just wanted me
to be happy.
801
01:00:51,448 --> 01:00:55,920
Ooh. Strong hands.
Yeah.
802
01:00:55,953 --> 01:00:59,089
That's how I made my living.
803
01:00:59,123 --> 01:01:02,259
The Polish Prince.
804
01:01:02,292 --> 01:01:05,295
Once, they were made of stone.
805
01:01:05,329 --> 01:01:08,966
But now they're made
of flesh and blood,
806
01:01:08,999 --> 01:01:11,368
with stories that
make up a full life.
807
01:01:11,401 --> 01:01:14,071
And the story's over.
808
01:01:14,104 --> 01:01:19,176
No. I see dreams
unrealized.
809
01:01:19,209 --> 01:01:22,346
I see darkness and light,
810
01:01:22,379 --> 01:01:25,315
a lot of love
and a little bit of fright.
811
01:01:28,285 --> 01:01:32,757
You know, I think these hands...
812
01:01:32,790 --> 01:01:35,960
would tell a better story.
813
01:01:35,993 --> 01:01:38,362
Tell me.
814
01:01:38,395 --> 01:01:41,165
Tell you what?
Your story.
815
01:01:41,198 --> 01:01:44,001
Please. I want to know.
816
01:01:47,104 --> 01:01:50,775
I've been asked my story
a thousand times...
817
01:01:50,808 --> 01:01:54,745
and told a thousand lies,
whatever they wanted to hear.
818
01:01:54,779 --> 01:01:56,914
Courtesan, Earth mother.
819
01:01:56,947 --> 01:01:59,183
But what is the truth?
820
01:01:59,216 --> 01:02:02,519
Hmph. We each have our own.
821
01:02:02,552 --> 01:02:05,522
Well, you were once
a little girl.
822
01:02:05,555 --> 01:02:08,525
Where did you live?
823
01:02:08,558 --> 01:02:10,961
Small town near the railroad.
824
01:02:10,995 --> 01:02:14,231
Watching the trains whizzing by?
825
01:02:16,133 --> 01:02:20,037
Yes. Especially
the Express.
826
01:02:20,070 --> 01:02:24,942
Glimpses of waiters in white coats
serving fine ladies and gentlemen.
827
01:02:24,975 --> 01:02:28,212
Wondering where they were going.
828
01:02:28,245 --> 01:02:33,417
I wanted to be on that train going
anywhere to take me out of this town.
829
01:02:35,319 --> 01:02:39,289
And then what happened?
830
01:02:41,826 --> 01:02:44,862
Along came this wonderful guy.
831
01:02:44,895 --> 01:02:47,865
Took me on that train...
832
01:02:47,898 --> 01:02:51,001
to all those places
I'd always dreamed about.
833
01:02:51,035 --> 01:02:53,203
Ohh. I loved him.
834
01:02:58,475 --> 01:03:01,445
Then suddenly one day...
835
01:03:01,478 --> 01:03:05,282
I never knew why...
He wasn't there.
836
01:03:05,315 --> 01:03:09,954
So, I, uh... I was alone.
I had to make my way,
837
01:03:09,987 --> 01:03:13,523
and finally I ended up
where I am.
838
01:03:13,557 --> 01:03:18,829
Don't feel sorry for me.
I made my choice... my life.
839
01:03:21,966 --> 01:03:23,901
Sin-Dee...
840
01:03:25,035 --> 01:03:28,272
you're a fine woman.
841
01:03:29,373 --> 01:03:31,876
Shall we dance?
842
01:03:33,911 --> 01:03:37,948
Ellie loved to dance.
She was quite a woman.
843
01:03:39,516 --> 01:03:43,053
She was. She is.
844
01:04:00,304 --> 01:04:03,908
Look, um, I have... I
have a confession to make.
845
01:04:06,343 --> 01:04:09,279
I've never had
intercourse before, and...
846
01:04:11,015 --> 01:04:13,850
I've only been to second
base with... with Kelly Rush.
847
01:04:15,419 --> 01:04:19,089
Don't laugh.
It's not funny.
848
01:04:19,123 --> 01:04:23,027
I just lost my best chance at,
849
01:04:23,060 --> 01:04:25,930
you know, losin' it.
850
01:04:29,366 --> 01:04:32,236
When I was your age,
life was so confusing.
851
01:04:36,273 --> 01:04:40,244
My one regret is not saying
"good-bye" to this boy down the street:
852
01:04:40,277 --> 01:04:43,180
Tony.
853
01:04:43,213 --> 01:04:45,349
I loved him.
854
01:04:47,117 --> 01:04:49,553
I know he loved me.
855
01:04:55,960 --> 01:04:58,528
So if you're anything like Tony,
856
01:05:00,364 --> 01:05:03,934
then you have it in you
to do it again, easy.
857
01:05:05,369 --> 01:05:07,404
How easy?
858
01:05:07,437 --> 01:05:09,974
As easy as you want,
859
01:05:10,007 --> 01:05:11,942
Tony.
860
01:05:15,279 --> 01:05:19,083
That's it, honey. Just relax
while I take off your clothes.
861
01:05:31,261 --> 01:05:34,164
What's wrong with this thing?
862
01:05:42,239 --> 01:05:45,175
Did... Did, um...
863
01:05:46,543 --> 01:05:49,079
You did.
864
01:05:49,113 --> 01:05:51,381
Did you?
865
01:05:51,415 --> 01:05:54,718
Look, um, I don't want
to talk about it, okay?
866
01:05:54,751 --> 01:05:57,754
But don't laugh, okay?
It's not funny.
867
01:06:03,727 --> 01:06:06,196
Forget sex.
868
01:06:06,230 --> 01:06:10,134
Just keep your pants on
and hold me tight. Mm.
869
01:06:11,335 --> 01:06:13,270
Mm.
870
01:06:18,075 --> 01:06:20,477
When did you have the stroke?
871
01:06:22,312 --> 01:06:25,282
Just after my wife died.
872
01:06:25,315 --> 01:06:29,753
Ooh.
Must've been hard.
873
01:06:29,786 --> 01:06:34,458
Well, at the beginning
I couldn't talk.
874
01:06:34,491 --> 01:06:38,728
I started to say something,
and I babbled like a baby,
875
01:06:38,762 --> 01:06:43,100
and my-my m-mouth was...
Was drooping.
876
01:06:43,133 --> 01:06:47,537
Grotesque. I didn't
want to see anybody.
877
01:06:47,571 --> 01:06:51,041
I didn't want anybody to see me.
878
01:06:51,075 --> 01:06:54,811
I just went into... into my room,
879
01:06:54,844 --> 01:06:58,715
closed the blinds,
crawled into bed...
880
01:06:58,748 --> 01:07:02,219
and cried and cried and cried.
881
01:07:05,322 --> 01:07:07,524
Do you still cry?
882
01:07:08,758 --> 01:07:13,763
Sometimes,
when the sun goes down.
883
01:07:13,797 --> 01:07:17,767
But... I'm here!
884
01:07:17,801 --> 01:07:21,838
You're a very, very brave man.
885
01:07:21,871 --> 01:07:26,810
Brave? I'm a pussycat.
886
01:07:26,843 --> 01:07:31,648
Ellie made me snap out of it.
887
01:07:31,681 --> 01:07:37,421
I remember her saying,
"Things can always be worse."
888
01:07:37,454 --> 01:07:42,426
So I decided to work
on speech therapy cassettes.
889
01:07:42,459 --> 01:07:45,129
"Oral aerobics."
"Oral"?
890
01:07:45,162 --> 01:07:48,232
Yes. Lip and tongue exercises,
you know?
891
01:07:52,136 --> 01:07:54,271
Hey, not bad.
892
01:07:55,805 --> 01:07:59,643
You know, there was
a three-year-old girl...
893
01:07:59,676 --> 01:08:02,212
lived next door.
894
01:08:02,246 --> 01:08:05,249
Kelsey.
Beautiful child.
895
01:08:05,282 --> 01:08:09,719
When I started to talk,
I talked like her.
896
01:08:09,753 --> 01:08:14,424
But I kept working.
And then one day I said,
897
01:08:14,458 --> 01:08:19,296
"Kelsey,
say 'transcontinental.'"
898
01:08:19,329 --> 01:08:23,233
She couldn't say it.
I left her in the dust.
899
01:08:33,843 --> 01:08:36,513
Are you scared?
900
01:08:38,948 --> 01:08:42,286
Yes. I'm scared.
901
01:08:44,754 --> 01:08:47,191
I am too.
902
01:08:47,224 --> 01:08:50,660
Mm. We hide it.
903
01:09:01,705 --> 01:09:04,841
You know,
when I was in junior high,
904
01:09:04,874 --> 01:09:07,677
my body used to crave the
touch of a woman's hand.
905
01:09:07,711 --> 01:09:11,315
It was, like...
You know, a thrill to it.
906
01:09:11,348 --> 01:09:14,484
It was fire. And here
it is 30 years later.
907
01:09:14,518 --> 01:09:17,954
I feel like that fire has
been completely reignited.
908
01:09:17,987 --> 01:09:22,926
Man. With you, Tiff,
I feel reborn again.
909
01:09:22,959 --> 01:09:25,629
My nerves are back, you know?
910
01:09:28,698 --> 01:09:30,900
So let's do it.
911
01:09:34,771 --> 01:09:37,941
My limit's twice in an
evening. You know, I mean...
912
01:09:43,580 --> 01:09:46,850
I meant, take me with you.
913
01:09:46,883 --> 01:09:51,221
- You're joking.
- No.
914
01:09:51,255 --> 01:09:53,357
No lie?
You'd roll with me?
915
01:09:54,724 --> 01:09:57,227
Yeah.
916
01:09:57,261 --> 01:10:00,297
Ohh, man.
917
01:10:00,330 --> 01:10:04,434
It'd be totally ultra-rock.
918
01:10:04,468 --> 01:10:07,571
I'm sorry.
919
01:10:21,285 --> 01:10:24,220
You want a smoke?
Uh, no. No, thanks.
920
01:10:30,427 --> 01:10:33,597
Where'd you learn how to do that incredible
thing with your tongue? The what?
921
01:10:33,630 --> 01:10:35,732
You know, the...
922
01:10:35,765 --> 01:10:38,268
Oh, that! Um,
923
01:10:38,302 --> 01:10:42,005
it's just something I
learned from my grandpa.
924
01:10:42,038 --> 01:10:45,909
No, it's a video.
We practice all the time.
925
01:10:45,942 --> 01:10:48,378
- Very cool.
- Yeah.
926
01:10:52,349 --> 01:10:55,885
Sure you don't want a
smoke? Yeah, yeah, I'm sure.
927
01:10:55,919 --> 01:11:00,290
I only smoke in front of
my dad. It drives him nuts.
928
01:11:00,324 --> 01:11:02,892
You would like Ellie.
929
01:11:02,926 --> 01:11:07,030
The Muff met her first.
He gave her a job modeling.
930
01:11:07,063 --> 01:11:09,933
Duff the Muff?
931
01:11:09,966 --> 01:11:13,570
You knew him?
Well, I know his son.
932
01:11:13,603 --> 01:11:17,507
- Yeah. Damon.
- Yeah. He used to hire a lot of my girls.
933
01:11:17,541 --> 01:11:19,609
- He owes me money.
- Yeah.
934
01:11:19,643 --> 01:11:23,513
I even considered putting a lien
on his house. I saw the house.
935
01:11:23,547 --> 01:11:25,915
It's now an empty lot.
936
01:11:25,949 --> 01:11:31,555
I know that lot. Damon moved
the whole house into town.
937
01:11:31,588 --> 01:11:34,324
- Where?
- I have the address.
938
01:11:36,025 --> 01:11:39,329
You have?
Yes. In my office.
939
01:11:39,363 --> 01:11:41,365
Will you give it
to me? Of course.
940
01:11:42,732 --> 01:11:44,434
Thanks.
941
01:11:46,135 --> 01:11:49,439
I will meet you downstairs.
942
01:11:50,907 --> 01:11:52,942
Michael!
Lance!
943
01:11:54,811 --> 01:11:58,448
- Lance? Lance?
- Pa?
944
01:11:58,482 --> 01:12:01,585
What the hell are you
doing? Get downstairs.
945
01:12:01,618 --> 01:12:04,688
I've found the diamonds.
946
01:12:04,721 --> 01:12:07,657
Y-Yeah, the diamonds.
Yeah, the diamonds! Right!
947
01:12:07,691 --> 01:12:11,628
Diamonds! Diamonds.
Gotta blast. Oh.
948
01:12:14,030 --> 01:12:16,933
Michael? Yeah. Hang
on a second, Grandpa.
949
01:12:16,966 --> 01:12:20,904
Hurry downstairs. We're
going diamond hunting.
950
01:12:20,937 --> 01:12:23,840
All right.
951
01:12:27,143 --> 01:12:30,447
I-I've gotta go.
952
01:12:38,555 --> 01:12:42,058
Tony was a lucky guy.
953
01:12:58,475 --> 01:13:01,611
You got it.
Of course.
954
01:13:01,645 --> 01:13:06,750
And the phone number too.
How can I ever thank you?
955
01:13:06,783 --> 01:13:11,888
Turn the clock back 30
years. I'm going to do just that.
956
01:13:14,691 --> 01:13:17,527
Thank you.
Thank you.
957
01:13:33,677 --> 01:13:36,546
And this guy's gonna let us
put a hole in his kitchen wall?
958
01:13:36,580 --> 01:13:40,116
He'll do anything for money.
959
01:13:55,164 --> 01:13:57,567
Damon.
960
01:13:59,135 --> 01:14:01,638
Get in here.
961
01:14:19,856 --> 01:14:22,892
I don't see a damn thing.
962
01:14:22,926 --> 01:14:24,828
Here.
963
01:14:27,697 --> 01:14:30,734
I can't believe it,
964
01:14:30,767 --> 01:14:33,837
after all these years.
965
01:14:36,105 --> 01:14:39,609
My old man never told me
there was a box in that wall.
966
01:14:39,643 --> 01:14:43,647
Maybe your father
didn't trust you too much.
967
01:14:49,318 --> 01:14:53,056
I fell in love
with these diamonds.
968
01:14:54,624 --> 01:14:56,926
It's Mom,
969
01:14:56,960 --> 01:15:00,163
Mikey, your grandma.
970
01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:08,171
Her name was Ellie.
971
01:15:08,204 --> 01:15:11,541
She stole my heart.
972
01:15:11,575 --> 01:15:15,078
She's beautiful, Grandpa.
973
01:15:15,111 --> 01:15:19,983
She made me promise never
to show these cards to anyone.
974
01:15:22,586 --> 01:15:25,188
But I was too proud.
975
01:15:25,221 --> 01:15:28,725
I married a goddess.
976
01:15:33,830 --> 01:15:39,235
Ellie,
you understand everything...
977
01:15:39,268 --> 01:15:41,971
that I'm trying to do.
978
01:15:47,744 --> 01:15:50,647
You put a hole in my wall
for a goddamn deck of cards?
979
01:15:57,253 --> 01:15:59,288
What the hell is this?
980
01:16:15,939 --> 01:16:18,642
Jesus Christ.
981
01:16:21,244 --> 01:16:24,047
I'm rich.
982
01:16:24,080 --> 01:16:27,583
What do you mean, you're rich?
We're splittin' this.
983
01:16:31,387 --> 01:16:34,858
What else is in there?
984
01:16:38,094 --> 01:16:42,799
That's all there is,
except for the cards.
985
01:16:42,832 --> 01:16:45,645
Okay, let's cut that necklace in half so
we can get going. Yeah, that sounds fair.
986
01:16:45,669 --> 01:16:48,672
Sounds fair, huh?
I'll tell you what's fair.
987
01:16:48,705 --> 01:16:52,208
What if I keep the necklace,
and you can take the cards? Shit.
988
01:16:52,241 --> 01:16:54,479
- You can get in a lot of
trouble waving that thing around.
989
01:16:54,480 --> 01:16:55,411
- And you can get dead.
990
01:16:55,444 --> 01:16:58,948
Damon, you win.
991
01:16:58,982 --> 01:17:01,851
It's a deal.
992
01:17:01,885 --> 01:17:03,787
Come on.
993
01:17:04,854 --> 01:17:08,391
You're a smart man.
994
01:17:20,837 --> 01:17:24,040
So, Grandpa, how much do you think
that Coogan guy'll get for the diamonds?
995
01:17:24,073 --> 01:17:26,275
Almost ten bucks.
996
01:17:26,309 --> 01:17:29,278
Huh?
What? No way!
997
01:17:29,312 --> 01:17:32,281
It was fake?
Lance,
998
01:17:32,315 --> 01:17:35,985
most of everything
Muff had was fake.
999
01:17:36,019 --> 01:17:40,256
So that jerk chain back there
ends up with zilcho?
1000
01:17:40,289 --> 01:17:43,392
That's right. Beautiful!
Right on, Grandpa!
1001
01:17:43,426 --> 01:17:47,463
You the man!
I'm the man!
1002
01:17:47,496 --> 01:17:50,867
- I'm the man.
- You the man.
1003
01:19:18,988 --> 01:19:22,291
I'm happy, very happy.
1004
01:19:22,325 --> 01:19:25,829
Ellie gave me her okay.
1005
01:19:25,862 --> 01:19:31,300
I will move to a farm
and hire a companion.
1006
01:19:31,334 --> 01:19:34,270
I want you all
to come and visit me.
1007
01:19:34,303 --> 01:19:38,241
Well, who's gonna be paying for all
this? Dad, we don't have the money to...
1008
01:19:38,274 --> 01:19:43,079
- The magic diamonds.
- Harry, what are you talking about?
1009
01:19:43,112 --> 01:19:46,549
Don't you speak English?
1010
01:19:46,582 --> 01:19:49,886
Huh?
1011
01:19:49,919 --> 01:19:55,124
Your diamonds, Dad, are
nothing but a deck of cards.
1012
01:19:55,158 --> 01:19:59,528
They're magic.
Believe me. They're magic.
1013
01:20:02,065 --> 01:20:04,300
Yeah.
1014
01:20:07,436 --> 01:20:12,475
I promised you magic,
and I deliver.
1015
01:20:12,508 --> 01:20:16,312
Nothing up my sleeves.
Now, watch carefully.
1016
01:20:18,281 --> 01:20:21,250
You remember this? Mm-hmm. Yeah.
1017
01:20:21,284 --> 01:20:24,120
Now, don't
take your eyes off of it.
1018
01:20:25,621 --> 01:20:28,424
Here's the deck of cards.
1019
01:20:29,993 --> 01:20:34,363
- Magic.
- Yeah.
1020
01:20:36,299 --> 01:20:39,903
Now, watch it.
Watch it.
1021
01:20:39,936 --> 01:20:43,306
Don't take your eyes off of it.
1022
01:20:45,108 --> 01:20:47,443
Ohh.
1023
01:20:49,545 --> 01:20:52,015
Oh!
1024
01:20:56,185 --> 01:21:00,156
- Jesus.
- Magic.
1025
01:21:05,328 --> 01:21:09,465
Read it. Hmm?
1026
01:21:09,498 --> 01:21:13,069
"All 13 diamonds are
of the highest quality...
1027
01:21:13,102 --> 01:21:15,038
"of cut and fire.
1028
01:21:15,071 --> 01:21:17,941
"Ten have
a pure white brilliance.
1029
01:21:17,974 --> 01:21:21,310
"Three are colored yellow,
pink, and champagne."
1030
01:21:23,246 --> 01:21:26,182
"They average five carats.
Total worth:
1031
01:21:27,316 --> 01:21:29,618
$345,000"?
1032
01:21:29,652 --> 01:21:32,488
Sixty years ago.
1033
01:21:32,521 --> 01:21:36,092
Now, three million.
1034
01:21:41,264 --> 01:21:45,268
Mikey, for you...
1035
01:21:45,301 --> 01:21:49,005
and for Lance.
1036
01:21:49,038 --> 01:21:51,207
For Moses...
1037
01:21:53,109 --> 01:21:56,145
and for Roseanne.
1038
01:21:56,179 --> 01:21:59,182
Oh, and for the baby.
1039
01:22:01,150 --> 01:22:03,586
The rest,
1040
01:22:03,619 --> 01:22:08,457
to keep me out of that
goddamn old man's home.
1041
01:22:10,526 --> 01:22:14,463
You're giving us over a million
dollars' worth of diamonds.
1042
01:22:14,497 --> 01:22:19,068
- Pa, are you sure about this?
- I'm sure.
1043
01:22:19,102 --> 01:22:24,040
Just take good care of
the little Polish Prince.
1044
01:22:25,541 --> 01:22:28,311
Mikey, I'm proud of you.
1045
01:22:29,745 --> 01:22:32,982
But I want you to learn
to live each day...
1046
01:22:33,016 --> 01:22:36,252
as if it were the last.
1047
01:22:36,285 --> 01:22:40,023
And remember, whatever
happens to you in life...
1048
01:22:40,056 --> 01:22:44,393
If you can't walk
or you can't talk...
1049
01:22:44,427 --> 01:22:47,130
Never, never give up.
1050
01:22:50,233 --> 01:22:52,201
What about you, Grandpa?
1051
01:23:10,753 --> 01:23:13,122
Lance...
1052
01:23:14,623 --> 01:23:17,393
Ellie loves you very much.
1053
01:23:23,232 --> 01:23:26,235
Well, I'm just
delivering the message.
1054
01:23:33,176 --> 01:23:37,513
Lance, why don't you
write a book about your life?
1055
01:23:37,546 --> 01:23:42,185
About your wonderful mother
and your awful father?
1056
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:48,591
Lance?
1057
01:23:58,301 --> 01:24:01,570
I... I do love you.
1058
01:24:03,706 --> 01:24:06,642
I know you do, Pa.
1059
01:24:16,752 --> 01:24:18,654
Thanks.
1060
01:24:19,722 --> 01:24:21,624
Come here.
1061
01:24:24,393 --> 01:24:27,496
Mikey? Here. Enjoy.
Yeah, Grandpa?
1062
01:24:29,265 --> 01:24:31,500
Grandpa, I can't take this.
Bev's your girl.
1063
01:24:31,534 --> 01:24:34,570
She's too young for me.
1064
01:24:34,603 --> 01:24:36,805
Man, this is gonna be
so cool at parties.
1065
01:24:36,839 --> 01:24:41,477
And don't forget me.
I want to hear from you.
1066
01:24:41,510 --> 01:24:44,247
Don't worry. You will.
1067
01:24:44,280 --> 01:24:47,483
- I'll call you from Frisco, Pop.
- Where are you gonna be?
1068
01:24:47,516 --> 01:24:49,752
Oh, you can find me at Lance's.
1069
01:24:49,785 --> 01:24:55,324
I mean, uh, my dad's.
1070
01:24:55,358 --> 01:24:58,194
Take care of yourself.
1071
01:24:59,695 --> 01:25:01,397
See ya, Uncle Moses!
See ya, bud.
1072
01:25:02,731 --> 01:25:06,402
Good-bye.
Drive carefully.
1073
01:25:09,638 --> 01:25:13,409
Michael, did I ever tell you
that I love you?
1074
01:25:13,442 --> 01:25:17,280
Yeah, Dad, every day.
Every day.
1075
01:25:26,555 --> 01:25:30,393
I want a proper cup of coffee...
1076
01:25:30,426 --> 01:25:34,897
made in a proper
copper-coated coffeepot.
1077
01:25:34,930 --> 01:25:39,368
I find a teapot of no use to me.
1078
01:25:39,402 --> 01:25:42,771
If I can't have
a proper cup of coffee...
1079
01:25:42,805 --> 01:25:47,410
made in a proper
copper-coated coffeepot,
1080
01:25:47,443 --> 01:25:50,179
I'll have a cup of tea.
1081
01:25:51,680 --> 01:25:55,551
Not bad, but I think
you need a little more lip work.
1082
01:25:55,584 --> 01:25:57,720
Okay.
1083
01:25:57,753 --> 01:26:01,624
Let's start with the happy
pucker, okay? Okay.
1084
01:26:01,657 --> 01:26:03,959
Five, six, seven, eight...
79571
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