Original subtitles

I'm getting nervous.

It's the Christmas campaign and the spa is full. Fix it.

I try, mayor, but machine very old.

Chapucescu, don't mess with me.

- I can unregister you in a flash. - Anselmo,

you should have spent the town budget on renovating this

and not on that roundabout with your statue!

Listen to the populist. Roundabouts are quality of life!

That's why you're governing in minority,

because Villaviciosa is sick of the caste and its arrogance.

- You have no idea. - Let there be peace.

Let this young Slav and his muscles work.

So you can admire his ass.

I'm sick of your remarks.

I've said, actively and passively, I'm not gay.

I think you're the passive kind!

Hey! Stop that!

This is the Christmas campaign.

We have to look after the clients.

Give it full pressure.

- Don't worry. - Safety valve broken.

- Must order part from Germany. - If it isn't free...

I do the spa's accounts and...

That bad?

Being in the red would be good news.

All the more reason to make do! Hit it with the wrench!

What are you doing?

Are you crazy?

What if it explodes? What if we have to close?

- What if there's an accident? - What if you shut up!

- Hey, it seems to be working. - You see?

Smart ass. You make a fuss over nothing.

"It is paradoxical that waters famed for their curative properties

have sent a poor old man to Intensive Care

in a vegetative state."

Now what do we do?

- We're in all the papers. - And on Twitter, Facebook...

And the BBC!

What?

To laugh at us.

If we get a bad name, we're screwed.

We'll be like a plague town.

César, you always paint things so black.

You'll see how, in no time, we'll remember this with a smile.

And people will tell jokes. "The curtain opens.

An old man is slammed against the ceiling of a spa.

What do you call the town? Villaviciosa!"

Ricardo, please, remember...

Order!

What's the joke?

As your mayor, I guarantee

no one will close the spa while that old man is alive.

The old man snuffed it.

The hospital just rang.

And now we're up to our necks in shit.

Brilliant, Anselmo, brilliant.

Thanks to you, this is the end of a spa with 200 years of history.

Hey, why don't you order a commemorative plaque?

God, what will become of us? Half the town works there.

And the rest depend on the guests. If the spa dies,

the town is next.

Come on, have some faith.

- God never presses us too hard. - Oh, no?

Ask the old guy who was flattened against the ceiling!

- Right, tubby? - Look, Nino,

calling me fat isn't funny, I've got a thyroid problem.

So cut it out.

Couldn't Benito from the Provincial Council help?

I mean, his daughter is marrying your son.

Not the wedding again.

I know you all want a free meal, but Merche and I

haven't decided yet.

- We don't have many options. - It's the big one!

The big one is the beating I'm going to give you!

- No, it's the big lottery prize! - Turn off that thing.

Who cares if others get rich.

Hospitalet, Parla and Villaviciosa de al Lado!

What?

Did she say Villaviciosa?

- It can't be. - Higher, higher.

- What are you doing? - The volume, idiot!

Oh, sorry.

Sold in Hospitalet, Parla and Villaviciosa de al Lado.

He said Villaviciosa!

He said it! 4 million euros!

- Here... - We won!

We won!

Thank you!

Have you got the winner?

Calm down, let's see where it was sold and who has that number.

I've got a share!

What is it? Where was it sold?

The first prize has gone to the ticket 2-2-4-6-2.

We're screwed.

We've won the lottery!

It's the number my father always played.

My date of birth.

He never won, but he didn't mind.

He said he got the big prize the day I was born.

Oh, Mari!

- What will you do with the money? - Well...

We just got a bit, one ticket between all of us.

But for me, it's enough to pay for my new tits!

I want to bring my mom from Cuba and get her a Spanish boyfriend!

It's enough to plug a few holes,

but the winners have plugged quite a few for you lot!

They come here so often they're like part of the furniture.

They're so affectionate.

If they're like that at home, their wives must be delighted.

- So this is a busy spot? - Oh, yes, very.

We get them all here.

Young, old, bachelors,

married, from the right, from the left...

You know,

where there's a buck, there's a fuck.

Sorry, maybe I can't say that in family viewing time.

- So a lot of people bought shares? - An awful lot.

Very few houses in the town won't have a cut.

Very few!

But it's very quiet. Have no winners come here?

It's very bright.

The guys are like vampires.

But we do the sucking!

Be quiet, no telling secrets.

In this business, you keep your legs open

and your mouth shut.

But if these walls could talk...

Yes, we get all kinds of people here.

We have the secret of confession,

like priests!

Two, three...

four, five...

Let's go!

You're all a bit slow today.

Zumba's a silly name but we take it seriously.

Come on, it's all right, I'm fine.

I'm sorry, let's keep going.

"It's all right"?

Just because we act stupid doesn't mean we are.

Is no one wondering if her husband has a cathouse ticket?

My husband doesn't go looking for what he gets at home.

Neither does my Ricardo.

He has principles. He'd never pay for sex.

The Pope is going to beatify mine. They all seem to be wonderful.

In Madrid, things are different, no double morality.

What?

I respect double morality.

It's authentic and quaint.

The neo-ruralist is lecturing us.

Maybe you're wearing an authentic, quaint set of horns too.

For men, it's simple.

Hole with hair, you have to fuck it.

Don't be such a brute.

Don't listen to that. It'll put you off marriage.

Get used to it, the wedding is very short,

but the marriage can be long, and I mean really long.

I keep a close eye on Anselmo.

If he had a winning ticket, he's hiding it very well.

I don't know how to hide it.

- I'm going to have a stroke. - Dad, do you go whoring?

Me?

No.

Try to understand, son.

30 years of missionary with your mother, and I'm no saint.

Dad, forget it.

Forget it.

I'm going to put up the film club posters.

- Some things I don't want to hear. - I do.

I want to hear them. Do they have it shaved?

I hope they have it shaved!

Nino, please!

Or is it fluffy? What's it like?

Come on, you won't be able to sleep.

You could have told me my son was here.

Am I the only one here who likes to be sucked

until his balls are dry?

And as any golfer can tell you, it's much easier...

Don't bother, Anselmo.

- I know what you're talking about. - Christ!

Fucking hell!

You can never say never or this priest isn't my father.

God helps those who help themselves.

All right, that's enough.

It was a gift from one of the girls when she came to confess.

I know you make them sin a lot.

- Right, Ricardo? - Eh?

Oh, yes, yes, I went to... to...

To celebrate the anniversary of 15M with my comrades.

All right, a few times I've been with one of the girls.

Or two.

Or three.

But I've always respected them as workers!

I feel sorry for you lefties.

You can't even have a fling without an excuse.

But it's rotten luck. We dream of winning the lottery,

and when it happens we can't tell anyone.

- Not even our wives. - Or not.

They like money too.

What do you think they'll do when they hear?

I'll cut off his balls!

I won't forgive him for all the money in the world.

I'd leave him penniless.

Like Ricardo says, money can't buy a person's dignity.

I think it's 80,000 euros.

80,000?

That much?

That's what my rascal of a son got for his share.

But then, it depends on each one's vice.

Listen, with 80,000 euros,

you get yourself a nickname but you pay off the mortgage.

Not just the mortgage.

With that money, I could finally buy a decent delivery truck

and stop busting my ass to pass the VI.

I'd install solar panels. Energy self-sufficiency,

and screw the electrical companies.

I'd go on a cruise.

That's my dream since I saw "The Love Boat".

I could pay off the loan I got to restore the statue of the Virgin.

I'd pay for a porn film with me as the lead.

I'd go to the Golden Mile and empty the Loewe store.

I'd breed fighting bulls.

Los Garijo, bulls with a pair...

Whatever, but we've been counting our chickens for a week

and we haven't seen a euro.

I'm going to tell my wife.

- I'm not losing my prize. - Are you crazy?

You'll lose your family.

I've got nothing to hide. I went to the club to buy cigarettes.

Yeah, and I go there because they play good music!

Don't you believe me?

Yes, of course, Paco, without a doubt. In fact,

just like your wife will.

Of course she will.

We've had twenty years of happy marriage.

My wife knows perfectly well what I am.

Whoremonger! Louse!

I knew you were one of them!

I just went in to buy cigarettes.

You must think I'm stupid!

- It's true... - Go to the cathouse.

See if they'll wash your shorts for twenty years!

Please, love.

- Take your guitar! - No...

- Darling... - And the books too.

Pig! I never want to see you again!

That'll be the first of many.

- Just wait and see. - Yes.

More people make a pilgrimage to that cathouse than to Santiago.

Great, we'll be entertained.

My old age is getting monotonous!

Well, it isn't the Cannes Festival, but it looks OK.

No, it always does, but then nobody comes

and you watch the film on your own like a dummy.

Hey, hang on.

We still have... two minutes

and here they always leave things for the last minute.

See?

Sweetheart, you look gorgeous!

My film club mightn't have stars but it has you.

Was it today?

I'm being photographed for my blog.

I told you this was important.

So is my blog.

This is my new post. "With my Prada in the Prado".

Very nice.

You never support me in this. And as well,

we're showing a classic.

- One in black and white? - Yes.

They're such a turn-off.

They're the history of cinema. People here love them.

There's a thirst for culture.

Just put on a "Torrente" and stop fucking about!

Look on the bright side.

A cinema

just for you and me. Can you think of a better plan?

It's the photographer.

- I have to go, darling. - Wait, Merche...

Nino, put away the chairs. No one's coming.

Excuse me.

Hello!

Look, I'm new in town and I was looking for...

Wow!

- You have a cinema? - A film club.

With films in black and white that are a turn-off.

A turn-off?

I love them. I watched them with my mother.

- When does it start? - Now.

But it may not be worth it. A cinema for two people.

Ream?

Great! I've never had a film show just for me.

Sorry, for us.

Nino, don't put them away. It seems we have a show today.

Fuck!

Put out the chairs, put them away, put them out again.

I don't know whether to shit or wind my watch.

IT HAPPENED ONE NIGHT

- Have you put on the red panties? - I didn't put on any.

- Sluts. - Not again.

I haven't got a share, I knew nothing about it.

You didn't know about that re-zoning and you were nearly in court.

That's different. A term of office, public service.

Don't confuse Anselmo the mayor with Anselmo the husband.

In politics you lie, but in a marriage...

In a marriage what? Finish the sentence.

Well, just that. You don't lie.

Look, there are the guys!

How was dinner? Fun, or with the family?

Sorry, Paco, I didn't see you.

You look awful. Still sleeping in the car?

Look, look.

Look at how they lick his wounds.

I wonder what they licked in the cathouse.

I'd keep an eye on your men. Learn from others' mistakes.

You can't hide anything here.

I don't miss the anonymity of the big city.

I'm watching Anselmo

and there's nothing odd in our bank account.

No, they have to get the money at the club,

like my Juandi did.

As he's single, he's got nothing to hide.

Oh, no?

- What did you say? - Nothing.

There's only one way to settle this.

Watch that club until we identify the whoremongers.

It's starting! It's starting!

César, that's bad luck. You have to wait.

- Fuck, that's a good start. - Guys“.

How do we get our money? My wife is furious.

Yours and everyone's.

I see you've never got paid under the table.

Things will calm down.

Then we'll go to the club and get our money.

We've got three months.

It's starting!

What are you saying?

The women are going to watch the cathouse.

For fuck's sake!

I bet my harpy of a wife thought of that.

Happy New Year, darling!

Period for claiming prizes: 2 months, 20 days, 23 hours

There's such a fuss in town because of the lottery, dad.

If you'd seen the tension in the square.

A new year, a new life.

What happened in '36 will be like a cafe brawl.

Yes, I know it was a civil war,

but this war of the sexes could be worse.

That's all the news I have.

All right, I can't hide it from you.

They're going to close the spa, dad.

Yes, it supports the whole town.

All the times you told me

about how you went to Franco to persuade him to reopen it,

and not only did they not thank you,

but as well they made your life hell.

Because of me.

How can I not cry, dad?

This town of hypocrites never deserved how you loved it.

Look at how we have to meet. Like the Christians in Rome,

in the catacombs.

It's been two weeks and we can't get our money.

And we won't.

We'll go from being millionaires to begging in the street.

César, you don't look on the worst side, you live there.

Look, somebody has to go.

I don't know, someone we can trust, someone...

who won't raise suspicions,

used to fighting sin.

Right.

- Our priest. - Who, me?

- A servant of God? - Listen,

don't you say things have changed in the Vatican with that cool Pope?

- There you are! - No, no way.

If a priest in a brothel attracts attention,

imagine a black priest.

- Anselmo can go, he's the mayor. - And I'll lose the next election.

You go, nobody votes for you.

Sure, a lifetime denouncing the caste's hypocrisy

and now they discover mine.

Paco.

- You go, you're screwed anyway. - Like hell!

I want to get my wife back and going to the cathouse

won't help much.

What is this? You've been hogging the sauna all morning.

And?

You couldn't drag people here now.

Hey!

Juandi can go!

His sexual condition is the perfect alibi.

Here we go again. Why do you think I'm gay?

And I won't upset the women.

They're the only ones who listen to me. Move!

Between one and the other,

we'll run out of time and we'll be using tickets worth 80,000 euros

to wipe our asses.

The way things are,

what dummy can we fool into going to the cathouse?

Nino...

What are you doing?

Who's jerking off?

Wait, Nino.

Want to earn a few coins?

I prefer notes.

This is the fucking village idiot.

What a stake-out. They're like the FBI.

They're scaring off the clients.

What are you doing?

Teaching the new girl to fake it.

She doesn't know much.

Teaching her?

My dear, you must have fooled a man some time in your life.

No, no.

Well, once I told my father I'd got straight A's.

Sweetie, how can you fake orgasms

when you look as if you've never even had one?

It's almost more important to boost a man's ego than his dick.

Start groaning with your mouth closed.

Like when you eat chocolate and skip your diet.

Keep going, very good.

But change the rhythm so it isn't monotonous.

And now mention God.

Nothing gets a guy harder than reminding him he's sinning.

God! Oh, my God!

Oh, God!

Say: You do it so well, baby!

You do it so well, baby!

And now, when he's all ready,

earn your tip! Say something filthy!

Something really disgusting.

Poo! Poo!

“W.!

Dear child, why do you want to work at this?

I heard it was easy money.

My mother lost her job and she's going to be evicted.

She wanted to move house, but not like this.

We've got more furniture in the pawn shop than in the house.

My brother pawned everything to buy that horse.

He's not a jockey, he's a drug addict.

Oh, love. And I thought it was tough in Cuba.

I'll tell you what we'll do. Today, you can start serving drinks.

You can start with the picadors another day.

Hey!

Excuse me.

I don't do trios, OK?

Matias want money for "tacket".

But...

But you didn't sell those tickets, did you?

Heaps. Well, it's normal, this body is pure marketing.

But we couldn't sell these!

There's a mistake in the address.

Don't look at me like we've done something wrong.

We have done something wrong!

Selling extra tickets is a crime.

If everyone wants their winnings we'll go to jail!

Hello!

I've come for the prize money.

I hope you've got lots of notes, I've got tickets from half the town.

Let's drink a toast!

To the village idiot.

A figure reviled by our society who should now be truly esteemed.

To the idiot!

Just a minute.

Have you sent Nino to the cathouse?

- Yes, of course. - When he's so randy?

Remember what he did to that poor hen?

Look, look, look...

If Nino got intimate with a hen,

it's precisely because he's scared of women.

Come on, Nino, decide.

Which do you like more? The blonde or the brunette?

Yes, yes, yes.

No, no, no!

The thing is,

- I might forget about the money. - No, there's lots of time.

What do you want? It's on the house.

It's on the house?

I'll have the most expensive one.

I meant to drink.

But this is like the fruit stall. What you touch, you have to eat.

Which of you will go up with Nino?

Hang on.

My friends are waiting for me.

Come here, I've got two friends for you.

Your friends are very nice.

No, really, I have to go. And when Nino says...

Who'll pay me for these, please?

I will, my love.

Do you know that Cuban women have forty hip movements?

How many did you say?

Listen, guys,

I don't want to nag,

but isn't three hours a long time?

He's run off with the money. We've been conned by an idiot!

Be quiet, don't jinx it.

He's back! He's back!

Thank God!

Well, it's about time.

Half the town is on edge. Where's the money?

Oh, yes, yes.

But... but...

This idiot didn't get any money!

What were you doing in the cathouse?

Did you know that Cuban women have

forty hip movements?

Period for claiming prizes: 1 month, 29 days and 22 hours

No, mom, I'm not all right.

Because I miss you and I don't know if being...

a waitress is for me.

What if I quit and come home?

Another eviction notice?

No, mom, don't cry, please.

While I can prevent it, you won't be on the street.

Don't worry about me.

I'll get used to the job and...

I'm sure I'll even end up enjoying it!

KISSES.

I'm sure I'll enjoy it.

Provided I like putting strange dicks in my mouth!

Fuck!

I'm sorry, I didn't see you. Are you all right?

Yes, yes, I'm fine.

You'll need more than

a cell phone to knock down a country boy.

Yes, but as you're bleeding...

Forgive me.

I don't usually go round cracking people's heads

but these last days

have been very hard, with a lot of pressure.

Have you never felt that you're in the wrong place?

That'll be the title of my memoirs.

That's how I feel.

Or worse, I can't even manage my own life.

When you long to break away and start again.

But you don't because you haven't got...

- anyone. - A cent.

- Almost, eh? - Almost.

For a moment I thought we were soulmates.

Carlos!

Carlos! Carlos!

Nino!

I've fallen in love, Carlos!

Again?

I've told you 1,000 times,

the models in ads aren't talking to you.

I met a girl in the club, her name's Jezebel.

- It was love at first sight. - For just a night.

She's a prostitute.

She loves you for your money.

No.

She did it for free, because we're in love.

Nino,

those girls don't feel anything.

- They just want one thing. - What do you mean?

Maybe they don't have a choice.

They might be whores but they've got feelings too.

Yes, but...

What did I say?

You have to tell me when you're going to marry Merche,

so our dates don't clash.

Dad, please don't be like that, it was an accident.

When I realized we'd sold too many shares

I just died.

I'm sorry, it's a figure of speech.

But I'm so upset.

- I think I'll be arrested any time. - Hello, Mari.

I'm sorry I scared you. I've brought flowers for my mother.

- Chatting to your father again? - Yes.

I couldn't do it when he was alive.

I left here when I was 17, pregnant,

and shouting that I wanted nothing more to do with him.

And look.

When I came back it wasn't exactly to make up.

- It was to bury him. - Well, Mari,

wherever he is, I'm sure he's forgiven you.

But I don't forgive me, Angel.

Because of me, he went from being mayor

to being the slut's father.

You know how hypocritical they are here.

But don't worry, you can hold your head high.

You've committed no crime.

Whoever is free of sin, let him...

- Give me more room! - Do I hang from the roof?

- Don't shout, they'll hear us. - Move!

HEY, Stop pushing.

- Please, stop pushing. - This is a big town

and we have to meet here, in one square meter.

- Our wives are watching us. - And you've heard about the spa.

They invest 3 million euros or they close it.

We're jinxed.

César, stop crying.

Let's do something to get the fucking money.

Something better than sending an idiot.

It isn't that Nina's stupid, it's that Mari's very clever.

This town is sinking, that money is its life belt.

That's it, we're going to talk to that bitch!

- Mary, most pure. - Motherfucker!

Excuse me?

Mother of succor.

Mother of succor.

Mother of succor.

And, as well, your mother was pure

and that's why she was conceived without sin.

But tell me, what is bothering you?

I don't know where to begin.

Let's see... I... in the club...

The girls...

It's very delicate, father.

Daughter, I've heard your confessions too often

- to be scared by sins of the flesh. - No, it's not that.

It's the lottery.

- Listen! - I've screwed up.

- I don't know if it can be fixed. - It can! I mean,

it can, my child. Pay and forget about it.

They can sort things out with their wives.

- That isn't your war. - It isn't so easy.

What do I do? It's a lot of money.

Put it in envelopes... No buts! Bring them here,

- and I'll hand them out. - I can't!

I sold too many shares

- and now I can't pay everyone. - I knew it.

The bitch!

You were spying on me!

You...!

And you, father?

The secret of confession?

I know, child, forgive me.

Even I don't know what I'm doing.

Don't crawl, father.

She tricked us.

I didn't trick anyone.

We sold extra shares by mistake.

But there must be some solution.

Divide it up, even if you all get less.

Well, now, let's see...

The division of wealth

is something we defend in the party, and if it's...

Divide yours, Bolshevik! I want my money!

- All of it! - But I can't do it!

We sold too many shares by mistake

- and I can't... - That isn't our problem.

Save your explanations for when you're up in court.

Very well.

Wonderful.

Just one thing.

Make sure that when your subpoenas are delivered

your wives don't open them.

What a...

She does spend her life screwing.

We'll all do that or we throw her in the river.

Are we going to kill her?

No, no.

But she's going to wish she was dead.

She won the lottery, but she doesn't look very happy.

I guess money doesn't bring happiness.

And that lot?

I don't know if the priest did it, but holy war has been declared.

We've got good seats. Now we'll buy some cigars

and enjoy the show.

I'm sorry.

I'm new to this, but you've been looking at me for an hour.

What ave you? One of those “buyers”.?

The word is "voyeur".

But no, I'm not.

My mother brings me here.

What?

With a sandwich.

Some weird people come here,

but this is the oddest sexual fantasy I've seen.

It's not a fantasy, it's a front.

My mother is convinced I won the lottery.

She prefers to think her son is a whoremonger and not a...

faggot.

Are you a queer?

But that's the most normal thing.

Tell that to my mother. She's very old and very traditional.

I don't want to tell her that when it comes to girls

all I like is styling their hair.

If she knew that for 15 years I've been climbing the mountain

to see the shepherd up there...

- Like "Brokeback Mountain"! - Yes!

I'm here for my mother too.

She thinks I get the money I send her

by serving drinks, not spreading my legs.

So whores have a closet too.

And even worse, I've fallen in love with a guy.

But he's from a good family and I'm just a prostitute.

Like "Pretty Woman"!

- Yeah, but you know the worst? - What?

Happy endings are only in films.

I've got the dress.

I just need a proposal.

A decent one.

This is harassment.

Fuck, the clutch is stuck again. Can you fix it?

Why is everyone asking for things I can't do?

I'm a locksmith, not a mechanic!

Shit, you're in a bad mood. I'll fix it.

What's up? Did Merche not milk you today?

I'll grab you!

Get off! And don't mention Merche.

She's been busting my balls about the wedding.

Like me with the bike. The seat's broken,

the foam's come out, and on the potholes

- it pinches me on... - Yeah, that's something.

Comparing a motorbike to a woman.

I've loved my bike like a girlfriend,

but I'd love a change.

It's nothing but problems.

But aren't you sorry, after how you liked her?

I've never known any other...

Bike. I was talking about a bike too.

Isn't it time to start trying new things?

As soon as I see one I like,

this one can go fuck itself!

And her feelings?

What feelings? This is a bike, Carlos.

Life is short and we have to enjoy it.

Merche.

Darling!

Have you seen the dresses?

If I had to wait for you to call me...

The Rosa Clara is ideal if we get married in the evening.

- But if it's in daytime... - Merche...

We still have to talk about some things.

Talk about what? We can't waste more time, love.

It's over!

As soon as I can, I'm dumping you!

Carlos?

Carlos?

Hey!

- Are you there? - Yes, yes.

Yes, you're right. Life is short.

- I'm on my way. - All right. I'll be waiting here.

Dad!

Dad, I'm getting married!

I'm finally getting married!

- Carlos is coming to propose! - That's wonderful!

This one won't get away!

Free!

Like the sun when the dawn comes I am free!

Like the sea!

Free,

like the bird that escaped from its prison

and finally can fly!

Free,

like the wind that gathers up my lamentations and my grief,

I walk endlessly

after the truth,

and at last I'll know the joy of freedom...

Yes, I do, darling!

Yes, I do! Yes, I do!

- Yes, I do! - You do what?

- Congratulations, you two! - Indeed.

I'll get the cava.

What a surprise, love. We knew nothing.

If Merche hadn't told us, we'd have missed it.

You old bastard!

- You kept it very quiet. - This isn't what I wanted.

We'll do a real proposal later, with a ring and a photographer.

- To the wedding of the year! - Exactly.

And we'll celebrate it at the spa, now that the subsidy is all settled.

I told you that 3 million euros are a lot of millions.

Small change. You can take it out of two commissions.

After all, your grandchildren will grow up here.

Come on.

- Hurrah for the happy couple! - Hurrah!

Paco Casado is designing my dress to match the flowers in the church.

We want the catering done

by the people who did the princess's wedding.

Catering means meal, in polite language.

Yes, of course, that makes sense.

"Cazri" comes from the English for "meal", so it's right.

Good morning.

- Who's last? - I am.

Give me lilies for my father.

Last month I took carnations and they lasted no time.

You see that?

As if flowers could make up for how she upset him in life.

You really like talking. Talk all you want.

The day I talk, I'll silence all of you.

You're an awful person.

A good thing your child was never born

and couldn't see what you've become.

You miserable bitch!

You'll eat these and be shitting petals for a month!

Prostitute!

I'll smash your face!

That's enough!

Can't you count to ten in the rural world?

Let go of me!

Why did I ever come back here?

For God's sake, how long will this war go on?

I'm sick to death of the whole thing.

I know that "Think badly and be right"

is part of a town's charm, but aren't we going a bit far?

- So they've done nothing wrong? - What if they haven't?

It seems you prefer to ruin your marriages just to be right.

That's true, two months and we haven't caught anyone.

Maybe there's no one to catch.

I mean I don't understand the psyche of the whoremonger.

We've cleaned our asses with the presumption of innocence.

Couldn't we call a truce

and go back to how it was before the goddam shower of wealth?

After all, they're our husbands, not criminals.

We'll steal the money.

Steal?

Another commandment shot to hell!

What kind of parishioners did you send me?

No one is going to steal anything. We're just taking what's ours.

Will you stop shouting? I shouldn't have let you meet here.

And stop eating my sausages!

They're not cured yet.

BE quiet!

How can we steal it?

Mari keeps the money in the club's safe.

- Do we open it with a can opener? - No.

With my son, the only locksmith in town.

Yes, but Carlos, as well as a locksmith, is honorable.

In fact, I wonder if he's even your son.

He is,

but if I've learned anything in my years in politics,

it's that honor is an illness cured with money.

Who do you take me for, dad? How could I steal?

- Good morning. - Hello.

Mari cheated us, we're taking back what's ours.

But it's insane.

What if Mari catches us? Or mom?

What if Merche finds out? Or her father?

If you live with your head full of fears,

there's no room for dreams.

Anselmo,

that's a great phrase.

Paulo Coelho?

No.

It's an ad for cars, but it worked.

It's 40,000 euros. Think what you could do with that.

Life is short, you have to enjoy it.

Well,

with that money

- I could start a new life. - Of course.

A new life, with your 4X4, your house,

your big wedding with Merche.

With Merche?

Yes, of course, with Merche. Who else?

Anselmo, I have to admit it's a perfect plan.

If Carlos opens the safe,

what can go wrong?

What's going on?

You don't mess with Mari, bastards.

No, Mari, please.

No! No!

You always see the bottle half empty.

I want to hit you with it.

But it...

It isn't so easy.

We'll never get Mari away from the safe.

Unless we give her a good reason.

And we all know

what most women in this town dream of,

don't we, father?

No, no, no, no.

No, no way! If Mari wants to fornicate with a negro,

she can find one who isn't celibate.

It isn't that.

The dream that Anselmo is talking about is...

Leading the Virgin's procession?

Me?

Did you hear, dad? It's what you always wanted.

But I don't know, father. What will the town think?

They say the procession can't be led

by someone who doesn't encourage virginity.

We made Mary Magdalene a saint and she was the biggest whore!

I say that from the religious devotion I have for her,

which is a lot.

And on the last day we can claim our winnings,

our money will be prepared to return to its legal owners,

the right man to open the safe and steal it,

and the only obstacle

is at the other end of town wearing a mantilla.

So...

Get ready, gentlemen.

Everything is ready so that this Good Friday

will become a Friday of Glory and Resurrection.

Period for claiming prizes: O months, 0 days, 12 hours.

You look lovely!

I don't like her face or her figure, poor thing.

- How do I look? - Beautiful, Mari.

You'll outshine the Virgin.

You think so?

After waiting so long I'm really nervous.

You look magnificent.

I bet your dad is looking down with pride.

- Father. - Mari.

We're getting too modern. A whore in front of the Virgin!

We said that there wouldn't be any trouble.

Even if it's Holy Week we won't crucify anyone.

Hello, Jezebel.

Hello, Nino.

Have you seen how handsome I look?

I combed my hair like Cristiano Ronaldo.

I was going to say you're his double,

and just as strong, my love.

See how she's my girlfriend? She said "my love".

You didn't believe me.

Hey, let me carry it for a while. I want her to see how strong I am.

No, this is for grown-ups.

- Go out and show your dick around. - Fuck off!

Let's not get upset, it's all under control.

Remember, we have to stay calm.

Stop shouting!

And don't talk about stealing underneath Our Lady.

This isn't stealing, eh? It's doing justice.

To God, what is God's, and to César, what is César's.

Am I getting less?

César, love,

it's a figure of speech. Let's fucking calm down!

Concentration, fortitude, courage,

and forward!

Wait!

- Father! - What is it?

- One last thing. - What?

Aren't you going to bless this robbery?

Go to hell!

Now lower it.

Come on.

When I give the order, lower it.

Down!

Shouldn't Juandi be here now? We have to go to the club.

Well, about time!

Where are your cousins? They have to replace us.

We had a whole scene at home.

My mother and my uncle argued, and they left.

- What? - And very rudely.

You should have heard them.

The robbery of the century, ruined in ten minutes.

No, GUYS, we have to keep a cool head.

- We just need two replacements. - A robbery with stand-ins?

They just have to carry the float. There must be somebody in town!

Please, let me carry it.

I want my girl to see what I can do with a Virgin.

That didn't sound right.

Excuse me?

Sorry, that's the bean stew my mother made.

Fuck, what a stink!

- Why's he hanging there? - I can't reach it.

God!

This is really going to be a Via Crucis.

You've been drilling for half an hour, hurry up.

Shut up, dad, committing a crime is pressure enough.

This isn't a crime, it's an expropriation.

I don't sell myself for money. Fuck!

- I've never seen so much money! - Move, it doesn't bite.

The?500 bills!

I missed them so much.

We're millionaires!

What are you doing?

- I can't go on. - It's all uphill.

- Careful, to the right. - Yes“.

Father, what's going on underneath? Isn't it rocking a lot?

No.

Well, a bit. But it's hard to coordinate.

They're penitents, not majorettes.

That second plate of stew was a mistake.

What are you doing?

You're carrying a 17th century polychrome statue,

not a sack of potatoes.

I can't go on.

Did no one think about putting this on wheels?

Come on, the worst is over.

One last effort.

Fuck you, Nino.

One more fart and I'll put a candle up your ass.

It was because of the effort. Be grateful I didn't shit myself.

Shut up, and lift the curtain to get some air in.

I gave Carmen those shoes for our anniversary.

Who the hell is she with?

- Let me out. - No.

- I want to see who it is. - Shut up.

- Let me out. - Stay where you are.

- Stop moving... - It's going to fall over!

My God, father.

Look, where did you get the idea that we're stealing?

What are they doing?

Arranging the bills by color?

Talking of where people get money,

I don't think you get paid for making beds.

If I'm working here it's to help my mother, OK?

- And I don't steal. - We're not stealing.

We're making a transfer, without paying a commission.

Skip it, dad.

Sole, if I'm doing this it's so that

you and I can start a new life.

What new life with a whore? You're getting married.

What?

- You're getting married? - No, no.

Well, yes. But it was to keep the spa open.

Merche's father is the regional president and...

But you know about selling yourself for money.

I felt that.

I deserved that.

Well, it didn't take you long to find a boyfriend.

Where's he going? It's starting to wobble!

It's what you did, except I don't pay.

- I went in for cigarettes. - And look what they cost you.

Do you think this is funny?

Laugh at this!

- Holy mother. - Look at his face.

He's gone white.

Ricardo! Ricardo!

Anselmo! Carlos! Holy Virgin!

That could have knocked me stupid!

- Where's my husband? - And Ricardo?

Olé and olé. Now we can say we won the lottery.

I can't go to prison!

There's a lot of vice there and my piles are playing up.

Nino, we've been listening to you all night!

With all that was stolen in Spain, no one's gone to jail,

so why should we?

We were caught breaking into a safe

and stealing almost four million euros.

We'll be the only idiots who go to jail.

That's not all. Our wives caught us.

- And we've got no money. - I've got no parishioners.

I'll lose the parish.

I've lost the love of my life.

And Merche.

We're better off in here than out there.

At least we have food and a bed.

You can leave.

Come on, everybody out.

What? Already?

- You haven't take our statement. - And I won't.

Mari has decided not to press charges.

And don't look at me like that. If it were up to me,

I'd do you for vandalism, forced entry, theft,

and, if it were a crime, for being sons of bitches.

Come on, get out. Get out of here!

Move.

Come on.

How can I not cry, dad?

I brought them luck, and look at how they treated me.

The only thing I did was come back home.

After I lost my child,

it was all I had left.

And because I owed it to you.

I had to make my peace with this town.

But, as you see, I've failed again.

So the next time they see me in Villaviciosa,

it'll be here, at your side.

If anyone is still here.

Because you were so right, dad.

A town doesn't die of old age,

it dies because it's sick.

And here they have a sickness that's hard to cure,

selfishness.

If you let me choose

between you and riches,

with all the grandeur

that wealth can bring,

oh, love,

I'll take you.

If you let me choose

between you and glory,

so that history can talk about me

through the centuries,

oh, love,

I'll take you.

For I've fallen in love

and I love you, I love you,

and all I want

is to be at your side,

to dream of your eyes,

to kiss your lips,

to feel in your arms

that I'm so happy.

If you let me choose

between you and that sky,

where one is free

to fly to other nests,

oh, love,

I'll take you.

And I see in your faces the delight and enthusiasm

for one of our most outstanding festivals,

because despite the spa's closure

Villaviciosa and its people will rise from its ashes

to face new challenges, with valor, with strength,

optimism and...

Who am I trying to fool?

We're in shit.

I declare the fair open.

Enjoy it, it could be the last one.

To hell with it.

Cheer up.

The spa is closed and you have no job, but it could be worse.

Imagine if you hadn't won the lottery.

Yes, just imagine.

Why don't you go to the club

and give yourself a treat with the girls, you rascal?

It'll relax you.

- Mom, I'm no mood for girls. - Of course you are.

Take two or three. You've got the money.

It isn't about money.

What better to spend it on than a good jig-a-jig.

It seems you don't like it.

I don't like it.

I'm gay.

Do you understand?

GAY-

I was never in the club until you said I won the lottery.

It's about time.

It took you ages to come out of that closet

and open your heart to your mother.

You knew?

When your 7-year old son asks Santa for My Salon Doll

you start wondering.

And if you're the town faggot, let them gossip.

I’ll hold my head high.

Isn't that the gay pride they talk about?

One thing.

Does that...

Does it hurt?

Because your father, God rest him,

tried once...

Mom!

It's good to be honest but there's a limit.

What a paradox.

The day of Our Lord's resurrection we bury this town.

Just as well, it's a lost cause.

The subsidy still hasn't been refused.

If I tell Merche that it was all a mistake, I love her and...

Stop, don't make the same mistake I did.

Yeah, right.

- I fell in love with a prostitute. - So did I.

Why do you think your mother hates Mari?

So listen to your heart.

Tell that whore that you love her.

Her name is Sole.

Of course.

- Sole. - Sole.

You never introduced me.

MY girl's gone!

The club's closed, they've all left.

- It's your fault! - What?

They're leaving?

What are you doing?

Getting my Sole back.

Nino,

do you remember Jezebel's forty hip movements?

Changing clubs again. What a job.

I've got panties in this case that could have their own passport.

We're alike in something.

But you travel with panties, I travel with feelings.

Come here, love.

Look at her. She couldn't leave on the night bus.

She leaves at rush hour, to show herself off.

Leave her alone. She's going away.

And may she take as much peace as she leaves.

What peace? It's because of her and her club that I lost Paco.

What do you mean?

I only saw Paco once in the club. He came in to buy cigarettes.

See how she defends the one who pays her.

He said that, but I don't believe him.

Of course,

it's easier to find a culprit outside

than to try to solve the problems you have at home.

Now we get advice on our marriages from the slut who wrecked them.

- What do you know? - What do I know?

That your husbands talk a lot when they're in shorts.

I'll give you what I've kept inside for 30 years!

Oh, no!

That's enough!

Leave her alone.

Hasn't this gone too far?

She's the one taking it too far,

and that money would make the cheating more bearable.

Darling... Elisa, let's not keep on about this.

The last day for claiming the money was yesterday.

That money isn't ours anymore. Is that so hard to understand?

It must be hard, he's the one who doesn't understand.

If the period begins the day after the draw,

they could still claim it.

Of course!

And they control the municipal budget?

- No wonder we're in trouble. - They're politicians.

What can you expect?

That's why I don't vote for them.

The period isn't up?

Wait, wait, let's just calm down, please.

That money has only brought you problems.

Is it worth losing what little dignity you have left

for 3 million euros?

In a few moments, the tractor race will begin.

Let's get her!

What are you doing?

Don't just stand there! Go get her!

Run! She's got our money! Go get her!

- Mari! - We just want to talk!

The tractor!

Come on, hurry!

This is official business!

- What did you say? - Get out of there.

Get on, Milagros.

Hang on, Anselmo. She won't get away.

I am hanging on!

Sole!

Nino, accelerate and get as close as you can!

Not to me, to the train!

Sole!

Sole!

Come on!

Faster, Ricardo, faster!

Faster?

Do you think this is "Fast & Furious"?

This doesn't go over 40!

She's trying to throw us off!

How can she do that?

She's leaving a furrow on the ground!

- Ricardo, you'll have to jump! - What?

Have you lost your mind?

Do you want me to risk my life?

Do you know what risking your life is?

Risking your life

is following you to a town in the middle of nowhere

so that you can play at being the messiah

to a crowd of hicks who can't stand you!

No, Elisa. Elisa...

I hate the fresh air, I hate this town,

and I hate the fucking lettuces

in your stinking ecological garden.

I need that money to get away and never see you again.

So stop whining and jump!

Moron!

I said jump, dickhead!

- Ponytail really belly flopped. - Shit!

- Hang on. I'm accelerating. - Yes, let's get her!

Sole! Sole!

Get close to the train door. I'm going to jump.

Are you crazy?

How can you do that?

You don't have a ticket!

One,

two, and...

One,

two, and...

And three! You're so scared you've forgotten how to count!

What I've forgotten

is when this seemed a good idea.

If you don't jump now, we'll die!

What are you doing here?

Mari! Why won't you stop?

- We just want to talk. - Talk to each other.

You need to!

Look, the train! We've got her.

If you knew how hard it was to get on the train... Listen!

Your fiancée can listen. If she won't,

show her films. It worked with me.

I'll follow you the whole journey till you listen to me.

Well, as soon as this train arrives in Madrid

I'm going to forget you.

She won't have the balls to cross.

That was close.

- What the hell have you done? - I don't know.

I was upset. I thought I was losing you

and I did what they'd have done in a film.

Or don't we deserve a romantic comedy ending?

Very nice. Yes, very nice.

Now come with me,

to make another declaration, to the police.

I don't believe it! We had her!

Why did it stop here?

Dad! I stopped it

and I got Sole back, like you told me.

For fuck's sake!

Couldn't you wait till the next town? It stops there.

Come on... At your age...

Move that closer!

What a paradox.

The lottery makes you rich but it ruined our lives.

What ruined our lives was greed.

But we weren't the first and we won't be the last.

That's human nature. Am I corrupt because I'm a politician

or a politician because I'm corrupt?

- Who knows? - Look.

200 years of history reduced to rubble.

If they swing the ball too hard they'll wreck the town.

- Let it go! - I can't watch.

Stop! Stop!

- What your crazy son doing? - Being a dickhead.

Raise it up!

Son!

- Are you OK? - Take it easy.

Yes, yes, I'm fine.

The spa! The spa!

- The burofax! - What does it say?

It's been bought. The town is saved.

One year after the draw

The idiot with the pony tail?

Have you seen all these people?

I wish the church was like this every Sunday.

Father,

you can't create as many jobs as the spa will bring.

I've brought my C.V.

As a separated woman I'm on the market again.

And not just for work.

Who are you going to give it to? Our mysterious investor?

I imagine him very handsome and sophisticated.

If he comes in a helicopter like Christian Grey, I'll die.

I heard in the butcher's that he could be Chinese.

The same one who bought Atleti.

Forget about that. I hear he's an Arab sheikh.

A friend of the king.

Smile, look happy.

Children in the front row, to show the town has a future.

And you, a bit more cleavage, to show why you're festival queen.

He's coming! He's coming!

- Anselmo! - What is it?

- You look terrible. - Well, tidy me up a bit.

At your age, and your wife still knots your tie.

The trendies screwed us. You fix everything with a waistcoat.

YESSSSSSS!

That idiot saved the town?

The moron who broke two ribs trying to suck himself off?

- Nino, have you bought the spa? - Me?

I can't even buy a new bike. It broke down and left me stranded.

They gave me a lift!

And... who is it?

Holy shit!

Mari bought the spa?

But Why?

For you, dad.

I did it for you.

Well, and for me too.

Don't we deserve to be together and happy in this town?

Now it's time to wipe the slate clean.

I have finally found my place.

And you've recovered yours.

In honor of Ignacio Garcia Fernéndez-Velilla

the man who most loved Villaviciosa and its spa

- Hurrah for Mari! - Hurrah!

One year later, Villaviciosa reopens its spa,

leaving behind the scandal of the lottery

which caused great dissension among the town's residents.

Villaviciosa has a future based on harmony and union.

The lottery is just an amusing story now.

- It's in the past... - Darling, you don't have to go.

- We can sort it out. - Ricardo,

don't you always say you want a better society?

Start with yourself, I'm going to Madrid.

Ricardo...

Ricardo!

A bit of dignity, you're on TV.

Anselmo is being investigated

for overspending on the roundabout with his statue.

The president of the party sent him an SMS:

"Anselmo, be strong".

Stay there, and let all of Spain see what a dickhead you are.

Ricardo was fired for paying at the Club Momentos

with the party's card.

Yes, they were meals...

but not official ones.

The town's future?

I don't know about the town

but ours will be a girl

and I hope as pretty as her mother.

But she has to study.

You don't get anywhere with just a pretty face.

I'm speaking from experience, I nearly became a wh...

Darling,

no one cares about that.

Carlos brought the filming of "Game of Thrones" to Villaviciosa.

Sole has a brief appearance

as the Lannisters' courtesan.

Lovely, isn't it?

It's a very valuable piece of religious art

that deserved a fitting restoration.

That's why we brought the best professionals

without sparing any cost,

so as to recover...

There's a problem?

Can you cut that?

I've got enough problems with the bishop...

His restoration of the Virgin's statue

receives hundreds of visitors.

It has become the new "Ecce homo".

Our life really hasn't changed that much.

We still work in relaxation, don't we?

Yes, I used to put on rubbers, now I put on shower caps.

So now you know,

when you want to enjoy the best bubbles,

in the best company...

- You sound like a whore. - What do you expect?

Old habits die hard!

Mari became so well known after the lottery scandal

it's rumored that she and her girls

will be the bubbles

for a well-known brand of cava.

I think it's a pity about the girls,

because in this town the bordello has always been a tradition.

Alfonso XII didn't come from Madrid just for the waters.

"Where are you going, Alfonso XII?"

Whoring!

- I don't know if we can say that. - About Alfonso XII?

- No, about the whores. - Oh, well...

They're still the town chroniclers,

but they've adapted to the new technologies.