All language subtitles for New.York.Minute.[2004]-aXXo

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:35,618 --> 00:00:38,348 I'm late. I'm late. 2 00:00:46,229 --> 00:00:48,094 Ready for your speech, Ms. Ryan? 3 00:00:52,268 --> 00:00:54,668 Are you sure you're prepared this time? 4 00:00:57,006 --> 00:00:59,600 Are you sure you're not forgetting anything, Jane? 5 00:01:04,781 --> 00:01:06,942 Sure you're not forgetting anything, Jane? 6 00:01:07,250 --> 00:01:09,445 Please welcome Jane Ryan. 7 00:01:14,891 --> 00:01:16,518 What? 8 00:01:51,427 --> 00:01:52,655 Just a dream. 9 00:02:08,912 --> 00:02:11,813 Morning, Mom. Miss you. 10 00:02:17,020 --> 00:02:19,181 - Morning. - Morning, Dad. 11 00:02:23,526 --> 00:02:25,118 I'm up. 12 00:02:25,295 --> 00:02:26,887 I'm up. 13 00:02:56,392 --> 00:02:58,724 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jane Ryan. 14 00:02:58,895 --> 00:03:00,453 My name is Jane Ryan. 15 00:03:00,630 --> 00:03:02,063 My name is Jane Ryan. 16 00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:05,091 Good morning, Justin. 17 00:03:05,268 --> 00:03:07,532 "Simple Plan shoot... 18 00:03:07,704 --> 00:03:10,229 ...59th and Ninth, New York City." 19 00:03:12,075 --> 00:03:15,044 - Making sure you're up. - Yeah, just finishing an essay. 20 00:03:15,211 --> 00:03:18,647 Three weeks into school, and you haven't cut once. I like it. 21 00:03:18,815 --> 00:03:22,307 Maybe I won't have to send you to Sister Mary Margaret's after all. 22 00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:24,818 School... 23 00:03:24,988 --> 00:03:27,252 ...or Simple Plan video shoot? 24 00:03:27,423 --> 00:03:30,290 I'm here today as a finalist for the McGill Fellowship. 25 00:03:50,413 --> 00:03:53,348 What excuses shall we use this time, Ringo? 26 00:03:53,583 --> 00:03:57,986 Ringo? Ringo, where are you? 27 00:03:58,154 --> 00:04:00,622 "Death of a pet, religious holiday... 28 00:04:00,790 --> 00:04:04,817 ...female problems." Last week. 29 00:04:06,262 --> 00:04:10,528 "Lllnesses. Chickenpox." Print. 30 00:04:14,904 --> 00:04:16,929 - Perfect. - Perfect. 31 00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:00,038 Thank you, New York City! 32 00:05:01,451 --> 00:05:03,885 Ringo, there you are. 33 00:05:04,053 --> 00:05:07,352 Did the little mean lady scare you? 34 00:05:07,523 --> 00:05:10,651 Yes, I know she did. 35 00:05:38,855 --> 00:05:43,815 Jane. Why do you insist on playing Mom? Okay? Dad doesn't have time for breakfast. 36 00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:45,927 Not listening. 37 00:05:49,665 --> 00:05:52,031 - How's it going, guys? - Hi. 38 00:05:52,201 --> 00:05:54,635 - Your breakfast is on the table. - Smells great. 39 00:05:54,804 --> 00:05:56,704 Wait. 40 00:05:56,873 --> 00:05:58,101 - There you go. - Thanks. 41 00:05:58,274 --> 00:06:00,037 You're welcome. 42 00:06:03,780 --> 00:06:07,307 Never, ever touch my day planner. 43 00:06:07,483 --> 00:06:11,647 Okay, you need to chill on the nerd book, okay? You have issues. 44 00:06:12,088 --> 00:06:14,784 Okay, how frequent are the contractions? 45 00:06:15,525 --> 00:06:19,461 Have them head down to the hospital. I'll meet them there. Yeah. 46 00:06:21,230 --> 00:06:23,095 - Jane... - No, Dad, it's fine. 47 00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:26,394 No, it's not fine. I know this is your big day. 48 00:06:26,936 --> 00:06:30,463 I will do everything I can to get to Columbia to see your speech. 49 00:06:30,807 --> 00:06:32,741 - I know you will. - Okay, excuse me. 50 00:06:32,909 --> 00:06:36,777 Jane, sorry, I know this is the biggest day of your academic career... 51 00:06:36,946 --> 00:06:40,643 ...but Dad, will you sign my field-trip permission form, please? 52 00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,342 Shakespeare in the Park? Great! Which play? 53 00:06:46,355 --> 00:06:49,449 You know, the one with the girl and the guy... 54 00:06:49,959 --> 00:06:54,259 ...love, the tights, hair. - Romeo and Juliet? 55 00:06:54,697 --> 00:06:58,326 - Yeah! Thank you. I totally blanked. - I love that play. 56 00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:01,493 - I know. Me too. - Your mom would have been so proud. 57 00:07:05,408 --> 00:07:07,638 Would you mind giving your sister a lift? 58 00:07:07,810 --> 00:07:11,678 - Not at all. - It wouldn't kill you to spend time together. 59 00:07:13,049 --> 00:07:15,017 Breakfast was great, but I got to go. 60 00:07:15,184 --> 00:07:17,175 Okay. Well, then, take this, okay? 61 00:07:17,353 --> 00:07:19,480 - Thank you. - You're welcome. 62 00:07:19,655 --> 00:07:23,455 - Love you. - Love you too. Good luck. 63 00:07:27,563 --> 00:07:31,863 - I hope you don't get caught. - I won't. 64 00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,663 - Let's get the show on the road. - Think about a car wash. 65 00:07:35,838 --> 00:07:37,965 You might wanna think about buying a car. 66 00:07:38,141 --> 00:07:41,440 - I'm saving up for college. - That makes one of us. 67 00:07:41,944 --> 00:07:44,412 Mind putting on the radio? 68 00:07:45,181 --> 00:07:48,207 - Not at all. - What is this? 69 00:07:50,419 --> 00:07:53,047 Too cool for school. 70 00:07:55,291 --> 00:07:56,724 Yeah. 71 00:08:28,791 --> 00:08:32,022 Where are we going? We have 26 minutes to get to the station... 72 00:08:32,195 --> 00:08:33,662 ...and I can't be late. 73 00:08:33,829 --> 00:08:38,732 We just have to make a pit stop at my manager's. 74 00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:40,960 Wait, you have a manager? 75 00:08:41,470 --> 00:08:42,903 - Howdy, Rox. - Hello. 76 00:08:43,072 --> 00:08:44,767 - Come on in. - Thanks. 77 00:08:54,483 --> 00:08:55,882 Seventy-eight! 78 00:08:56,052 --> 00:08:58,885 - So how's the party? - It's going great. 79 00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,920 We're on a marathon mission. 80 00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,456 So I burned you 30. Check it out. 81 00:09:03,626 --> 00:09:05,253 Thanks. 82 00:09:05,761 --> 00:09:07,888 - Why am I on the cover? - Marketing, baby. 83 00:09:08,064 --> 00:09:11,158 - You're the hottest one in the band. - Hey, Roxy. 84 00:09:11,334 --> 00:09:14,531 - That's not saying much. - Here's your all-access pass. 85 00:09:14,704 --> 00:09:17,332 That will get you into the shoot. Now, remember... 86 00:09:17,506 --> 00:09:19,804 ...we've got to hit up the A-and-R guys. 87 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:23,104 - We gotta get this contract. - How will I know it's them? 88 00:09:23,279 --> 00:09:26,146 Middle-aged guys, fancy suits... 89 00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:28,340 ...bad, old-fashioned dancing. - Right. 90 00:09:28,517 --> 00:09:30,178 - Got it? All right. - Yes. Bye. 91 00:09:30,353 --> 00:09:32,947 - Good luck. - Okay. Thank you. 92 00:09:36,692 --> 00:09:38,159 Yeah, 79! 93 00:09:39,629 --> 00:09:40,857 Who's there? 94 00:09:41,030 --> 00:09:43,191 - Pool guy. - Pool guy? 95 00:09:43,366 --> 00:09:44,958 You're not the pool guy. 96 00:09:45,134 --> 00:09:47,466 You get to go right to the head of the class. 97 00:09:47,637 --> 00:09:51,596 Nassau County Department of Truancy. Pool party's over, Flubber. 98 00:09:51,774 --> 00:09:55,107 Do you want to come over here? Put your hands behind your head. 99 00:09:55,278 --> 00:09:58,145 On your feet, gentlemen. Hands up where I can see them. 100 00:09:58,314 --> 00:10:00,680 - Up, up, up! - What's going on? 101 00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:04,047 You let me do the interrogating, son, we'll get along fine. 102 00:10:06,289 --> 00:10:08,655 My mom's gonna kill me. 103 00:10:08,824 --> 00:10:13,022 Got six future felons for you, Strauss. Each one facing five to 10... 104 00:10:13,195 --> 00:10:15,186 Days of detention, Lomax. 105 00:10:15,364 --> 00:10:17,457 - Days of detention. - Just book them. 106 00:10:17,633 --> 00:10:20,431 "Book them." Would you give it a rest, Lomax? 107 00:10:20,603 --> 00:10:23,367 You're a truancy officer, you're not Dirty Harry. 108 00:10:23,539 --> 00:10:27,498 You know, this kind of crud is what kept you out of the force for 25 years. 109 00:10:27,677 --> 00:10:30,874 I'm on the heels of the number-one truant in Nassau County... 110 00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,515 ...and when I find her, and I will find her... 111 00:10:33,683 --> 00:10:37,676 ...your boys will be doing back flips to make sure I'm wearing that badge. 112 00:10:37,853 --> 00:10:39,616 Hey, Einstein, over here. 113 00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:42,986 I feel bad lumping you in there with those other losers... 114 00:10:43,159 --> 00:10:47,755 ...because you strike me as being a... I don't know, a smart kid. 115 00:10:47,930 --> 00:10:50,091 I see a big future here. 116 00:10:50,433 --> 00:10:54,199 I look at this face, I see a surgeon general. 117 00:10:55,237 --> 00:10:57,432 I see a Supreme Court judge. 118 00:10:57,840 --> 00:11:01,936 Do you have any idea what a 10-day suspension will look like on your record? 119 00:11:02,111 --> 00:11:05,512 You'll be lucky to be accepted to the Acme School of Welding. 120 00:11:05,681 --> 00:11:07,012 Now... 121 00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:09,344 ...do yourself a favor. 122 00:11:09,919 --> 00:11:11,784 Where can I find Roxanne Ryan? 123 00:11:11,954 --> 00:11:14,320 You can give me all the detention you like. 124 00:11:14,490 --> 00:11:17,288 But if there's something I'm not, that's a rat. 125 00:11:17,460 --> 00:11:20,020 Fine. Suit yourself. 126 00:11:24,133 --> 00:11:25,862 - Car, car! Look out! - Hold on. 127 00:11:26,936 --> 00:11:29,200 What's the matter with you?! 128 00:11:32,308 --> 00:11:34,970 - Nice park. - Thanks. 129 00:11:55,498 --> 00:11:58,626 Excuse me, could you just not? 130 00:12:00,703 --> 00:12:03,672 Okay, speech at 3. 131 00:12:04,407 --> 00:12:07,001 Perfect. Okay... 132 00:12:22,525 --> 00:12:24,322 You can't sit here. I need quiet. 133 00:12:24,493 --> 00:12:27,155 Chill. You won't even know I'm here. 134 00:12:27,329 --> 00:12:31,095 I'm close to winning the fellowship. I've worked my whole life for this. 135 00:12:31,267 --> 00:12:33,167 What is this stupid thing, anyway? 136 00:12:33,335 --> 00:12:36,964 This stupid thing is a four-year scholarship to Oxford University. 137 00:12:37,139 --> 00:12:38,766 Oxford? 138 00:12:38,941 --> 00:12:41,967 - As in England? - No, Oxford, as in nowhere near you. 139 00:12:42,144 --> 00:12:45,272 - Maybe you would like to switch seats... - No! 140 00:12:45,448 --> 00:12:46,676 Yeah. 141 00:12:47,483 --> 00:12:50,043 - Why Oxford? - Why are you even here? 142 00:12:51,153 --> 00:12:54,020 Because Simple Plan's shooting their new music video. 143 00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:57,356 So I'll canvass the A-and-R guys, give them my demo... 144 00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,653 ...and hopefully be the new opening act. 145 00:12:59,829 --> 00:13:03,026 Great. There'll be lots of concerts at Sister Mary Margaret's. 146 00:13:03,199 --> 00:13:04,757 How's the school gonna know? 147 00:13:04,934 --> 00:13:07,869 As far as they're concerned, I'm home with the chicken... 148 00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,664 Chickenpox. 149 00:13:15,578 --> 00:13:17,705 Chickenpox, my Aunt Fanny. 150 00:13:18,581 --> 00:13:20,208 Who is it? 151 00:13:20,382 --> 00:13:23,647 It's Savitsky, your landlord. You're two weeks late on rent. 152 00:13:23,819 --> 00:13:26,982 Mr. Savitsky, can we deal with this later... 153 00:13:27,156 --> 00:13:30,819 ...because I'm working on a very big case right now. I'm busy. 154 00:13:30,993 --> 00:13:33,894 - You're dizzy? You should lie down. - I said, I'm busy! 155 00:13:34,063 --> 00:13:36,588 So get busy writing a check, Lomax! Jeez. 156 00:13:42,771 --> 00:13:46,172 Where have you gone, Miss Ryan? 157 00:13:46,675 --> 00:13:48,370 Where have you gone? 158 00:13:51,113 --> 00:13:56,574 Well, your simple plan's about to get a bit more complicated, Roxanne Ryan. 159 00:14:04,960 --> 00:14:06,587 All right, open up. 160 00:14:09,231 --> 00:14:11,324 Can you believe this? 161 00:14:11,500 --> 00:14:14,094 - I'm sorry. - All right, Roxy Ryan! 162 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,295 - Oh, my God! - It's okay! 163 00:14:16,872 --> 00:14:19,864 - I'm so sorry! - What are you...? Stop that! 164 00:14:20,042 --> 00:14:23,478 - I'm sorry. - What are you, a couple of monsters? 165 00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:27,977 Tickets. Tickets, please. Please have your tickets ready. 166 00:14:28,317 --> 00:14:31,616 Tickets, please. I'm not doing this for my health. Thank you. 167 00:14:31,787 --> 00:14:36,747 - I suppose you'll need some money? - No. I can manage on my own. 168 00:14:39,328 --> 00:14:42,422 - Hello? - Tickets. Very nice. 169 00:14:42,598 --> 00:14:44,759 Tickets, please. 170 00:14:45,601 --> 00:14:47,660 - Oh, my... - I'm in hell. 171 00:14:47,836 --> 00:14:50,634 - I'm sorry. - What are you looking at? Stop looking! 172 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,641 I said I was... 173 00:15:00,916 --> 00:15:02,941 Ticket. 174 00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:04,585 Hi. 175 00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:11,251 We are so over! Over! 176 00:15:13,629 --> 00:15:15,119 Shoot. 177 00:15:15,531 --> 00:15:16,759 Oh, very funny. 178 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,331 - Excuse me? - No ticket, no ride. 179 00:15:19,501 --> 00:15:22,732 - I have a ticket. Give me a minute. - Let's see it. Come on. 180 00:15:22,905 --> 00:15:26,272 That was my twin sister you just threw off. Right there. 181 00:15:26,442 --> 00:15:29,434 Oh, yeah. The phantom twin sister. I'm scared. Hold me. 182 00:15:29,612 --> 00:15:31,671 Do I look that stupid to you? 183 00:15:33,082 --> 00:15:34,674 Do you want me to answer that? 184 00:15:34,850 --> 00:15:37,717 - I have a ticket! It's in my purse! - Let's go. Come on. 185 00:15:37,886 --> 00:15:39,979 Step away from the train. 186 00:15:41,123 --> 00:15:42,818 - God, I'm sorry. - It's okay. 187 00:15:42,992 --> 00:15:44,220 - Sorry. - It's okay. 188 00:15:44,393 --> 00:15:47,521 Here, just give me a sec, okay? One sec. 189 00:15:47,696 --> 00:15:52,030 Okay. If you can't get it out, I'll just take my skirt off. 190 00:15:52,868 --> 00:15:54,460 Did I just say that out loud? 191 00:15:55,371 --> 00:15:56,633 Yeah, you did. 192 00:15:58,641 --> 00:16:01,132 - Man, you're really stuck, you know that? - Yeah. 193 00:16:01,310 --> 00:16:04,370 All right, on the count of three. One, two, three. 194 00:16:05,314 --> 00:16:07,339 Oh, my God! 195 00:16:07,516 --> 00:16:09,313 Oh, my God. 196 00:16:11,186 --> 00:16:13,416 Hey, it looks nice. 197 00:16:13,589 --> 00:16:15,386 Thanks. 198 00:16:20,596 --> 00:16:24,862 All aboard! If you have a ticket. 199 00:16:25,434 --> 00:16:27,299 I gotta go. 200 00:16:27,469 --> 00:16:30,632 - Okay. - I'll see you. 201 00:16:31,540 --> 00:16:33,701 Hopefully. 202 00:16:33,876 --> 00:16:36,868 - Bye. - Bye. 203 00:16:43,552 --> 00:16:47,454 The ripped look? It's so two minutes ago. 204 00:16:47,790 --> 00:16:51,624 Stay away from me. 205 00:16:53,362 --> 00:16:57,799 According to this schedule, it says there should be another train in 43 minutes. 206 00:16:57,966 --> 00:17:00,730 Not today there isn't. Track construction. 207 00:17:00,903 --> 00:17:04,896 - Next train for New York leaves in 3 hours. - You've got to be kidding me. 208 00:17:05,074 --> 00:17:06,666 - Taxi! - Hey! 209 00:17:06,842 --> 00:17:08,742 Taxi! 210 00:17:08,911 --> 00:17:10,879 Nice move. 211 00:17:58,393 --> 00:18:00,520 There you are. 212 00:18:01,196 --> 00:18:03,187 Here I am. 213 00:18:03,365 --> 00:18:05,731 All of the taxis are gone. 214 00:18:05,901 --> 00:18:08,529 And you need a ride. 215 00:18:08,704 --> 00:18:09,932 I give you ride. 216 00:18:10,706 --> 00:18:13,004 - No. - I give you free ride. 217 00:18:14,042 --> 00:18:16,977 No. I don't take rides from strangers. 218 00:18:17,146 --> 00:18:20,309 But I got a limo. Big, long, white one like Barbie ride in. 219 00:18:22,584 --> 00:18:26,748 I don't believe you. It says it right here. There's gonna be another train. 220 00:18:27,589 --> 00:18:30,717 How could I forget? It's the magic-leprechaun train. 221 00:18:30,893 --> 00:18:34,989 It leaves for New York whenever you want. Powered by your imagination. 222 00:18:35,764 --> 00:18:38,358 - Jane! - I'm sorry, is someone talking? 223 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,161 Because I don't hear anyone. 224 00:18:40,335 --> 00:18:44,169 I just wanna let you know I have a limo if you're looking for a ride. 225 00:18:44,339 --> 00:18:46,967 Don't worry, it's a professional car service. 226 00:18:48,010 --> 00:18:51,104 Your attention please, the 9:45 to... 227 00:18:51,346 --> 00:18:53,211 - Thanks. - Here, let me get your bag. 228 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:56,112 - No, it's okay. I got it. - But I insist. 229 00:18:56,285 --> 00:18:58,014 No, it's okay. I insist. 230 00:18:58,187 --> 00:19:00,178 Wait for me. 231 00:19:00,355 --> 00:19:04,485 My personal assistant. I'd be lost without her. 232 00:19:04,660 --> 00:19:07,925 My name's Bennie. You and her going same place? 233 00:19:08,096 --> 00:19:12,556 "You and she." The correct grammar is "she." See, you're using the wrong possessive... 234 00:19:13,602 --> 00:19:14,762 Smarty pants. 235 00:19:14,937 --> 00:19:18,532 You've reached the Ryan residence. Leave your message after the beep. 236 00:19:19,107 --> 00:19:21,507 Yeah, Dr. Ryan, this is Max Lomax... 237 00:19:21,677 --> 00:19:23,736 ...Nassau County Department of Truancy. 238 00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:26,745 I'm calling in regard to your daughter Roxanne. 239 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:30,316 Could you call me at 993-1176... 240 00:19:30,485 --> 00:19:35,752 ...and reference case number 7 Tango Niner Popcorn X-ray 5? 241 00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:38,586 Have a pleasant day. 242 00:19:54,776 --> 00:19:56,641 How's it going? 243 00:19:59,181 --> 00:20:01,342 How you doing? 244 00:20:05,854 --> 00:20:07,253 Stop it. 245 00:20:07,422 --> 00:20:10,323 - Roxy, please. I can't concentrate. - What's up? 246 00:20:15,530 --> 00:20:16,690 Please stop. 247 00:20:24,473 --> 00:20:26,168 Get me Ma. 248 00:20:27,142 --> 00:20:29,633 It's number-one adopted son. 249 00:20:30,012 --> 00:20:33,709 Bennie? You said you be here by 9 a.m. 250 00:20:33,882 --> 00:20:37,113 That was 20 minutes ago. I need that chip. 251 00:20:37,286 --> 00:20:39,379 Bennie will be there soon, Ma. 252 00:20:39,554 --> 00:20:43,217 Bennie, either you talk in Chinese or you speak in English. 253 00:20:43,392 --> 00:20:45,019 But enough with the accent. 254 00:20:45,193 --> 00:20:48,253 - I'm sorry, Ma. - Don't call me Ma. 255 00:20:48,430 --> 00:20:51,831 From 9 to 5, you're my number-one killing machine. 256 00:20:53,535 --> 00:20:56,470 Yes, I'm your killing machine, Ma. 257 00:20:59,875 --> 00:21:01,137 Bye, Ma. 258 00:21:06,448 --> 00:21:08,348 Kids. 259 00:21:49,758 --> 00:21:52,591 Hey, bud? Are you lost? 260 00:21:57,299 --> 00:21:59,324 Ancient Chinese proverb: 261 00:22:00,268 --> 00:22:03,169 Never accept ride from stranger! 262 00:22:05,173 --> 00:22:08,074 - Help! Help us! - Help! 263 00:22:08,877 --> 00:22:13,007 - Help! He's gonna kill us! - Help! 264 00:22:15,250 --> 00:22:17,616 Come on! Hurry! 265 00:22:18,153 --> 00:22:20,087 Okay, let's go! Come on. 266 00:22:22,758 --> 00:22:23,918 Thank you. 267 00:22:40,642 --> 00:22:42,974 - Why is he after us? - Go! 268 00:22:47,382 --> 00:22:49,873 - I think we lost him. - There you are. 269 00:23:03,398 --> 00:23:06,834 - You speak Chinese? - There's a lot you don't know about me. 270 00:23:07,836 --> 00:23:10,805 - Give me that! - Hey, buster! 271 00:23:17,012 --> 00:23:19,139 Bring it on, tubby. 272 00:23:19,581 --> 00:23:22,015 I didn't know you took jujitsu. 273 00:23:22,184 --> 00:23:24,812 - Tae kwon do. - Thanks. 274 00:23:24,986 --> 00:23:26,248 Two times a week. 275 00:23:26,521 --> 00:23:28,113 Three years. 276 00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,022 - Now I'm mad. - What are you...? 277 00:23:36,298 --> 00:23:38,493 - That hurt. - Here we go. 278 00:23:42,270 --> 00:23:43,498 Yeah! 279 00:23:48,977 --> 00:23:51,138 I'm gonna kill you! 280 00:23:53,715 --> 00:23:56,309 That's what we get for taking a ride from a stranger. 281 00:23:56,485 --> 00:23:59,511 - Please. It was exciting. - Exciting? 282 00:23:59,688 --> 00:24:03,954 Almost being mugged and getting stuck in the middle of nowhere is not exciting. 283 00:24:05,193 --> 00:24:06,888 Now what? 284 00:24:07,729 --> 00:24:09,253 These were my best heels. 285 00:24:09,431 --> 00:24:10,898 Give me the other one. 286 00:24:11,133 --> 00:24:13,727 Give me the shoe. Please. Thank you. 287 00:24:19,808 --> 00:24:21,469 Now they're your best flats. 288 00:24:23,612 --> 00:24:25,705 Either of you ladies spare some change? 289 00:24:25,881 --> 00:24:28,907 - Oh, yeah, here. - You're feeding this poor man's disease. 290 00:24:29,084 --> 00:24:32,713 - Just let him have the dollar. - Buy him a snack, like a granola bar. 291 00:24:36,024 --> 00:24:37,753 Thanks. I got a dollar! 292 00:24:37,926 --> 00:24:40,986 That is not just a cherry Slurpee. 293 00:24:41,363 --> 00:24:43,854 I smell alcohol. Please don't freak. 294 00:24:47,836 --> 00:24:49,269 Or not. 295 00:25:03,618 --> 00:25:05,085 Yes! 296 00:25:07,255 --> 00:25:11,214 Now we're cooking with gas. Out of the way, suckers. 297 00:25:12,727 --> 00:25:16,060 Come on, folks. Police emergency. 298 00:25:16,231 --> 00:25:17,459 Come on! 299 00:25:17,632 --> 00:25:22,626 Back up, people. Clear the street. You call this respect for the law? 300 00:25:23,171 --> 00:25:25,435 I look like a duck waddling in these shoes. 301 00:25:27,676 --> 00:25:29,644 DVD. 302 00:25:31,046 --> 00:25:34,277 Very cheap. Need Holiday. 303 00:25:36,051 --> 00:25:37,951 Wait! 304 00:25:42,691 --> 00:25:44,955 Great. Just great. 305 00:25:46,528 --> 00:25:49,793 - Can I use your restroom? - Bathroom is for customer only. 306 00:25:56,104 --> 00:25:57,935 Down the aisle to the left. 307 00:25:59,174 --> 00:26:02,507 She has her whole life ahead of her. She should not be drinking. 308 00:26:02,677 --> 00:26:04,304 That's what I keep telling her. 309 00:26:35,010 --> 00:26:39,344 You've reached the Ryan residence. Leave your message... 310 00:26:39,514 --> 00:26:41,641 You have one new message. 311 00:26:41,816 --> 00:26:43,841 Yeah, Dr. Ryan, this is Max Lomax... 312 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:48,783 ...Nassau County Department of Truancy. - Correction, this was Max Lomax. 313 00:26:57,966 --> 00:27:01,527 - These for now, those for later. - Very hungry for a small person. 314 00:27:01,703 --> 00:27:03,864 - Thirsty too? Okay. - Red Bull. 315 00:27:14,149 --> 00:27:16,310 - You'll never pull it off. - Never? 316 00:27:16,484 --> 00:27:19,248 - Not today. Not tomorrow. - So no. 317 00:27:26,461 --> 00:27:28,088 I like the yellow one better. 318 00:27:28,263 --> 00:27:29,594 Really? 319 00:27:34,069 --> 00:27:36,060 What did you do, fall in? 320 00:27:36,237 --> 00:27:37,534 Cash or charge? 321 00:27:39,808 --> 00:27:41,935 I need some money. 322 00:27:42,477 --> 00:27:45,071 Total amount is 47.24. 323 00:27:45,480 --> 00:27:48,142 Oh, my God! My day planner! 324 00:27:48,316 --> 00:27:53,948 I must have left it in the limo! My life is in it! My speech, my credit cards, my money! 325 00:27:55,323 --> 00:27:58,224 So I don't suppose I could start a tab? 326 00:27:58,393 --> 00:28:00,293 Tab is for valid customers only. 327 00:28:00,462 --> 00:28:02,225 Thank you. Don't come again. 328 00:28:03,898 --> 00:28:05,627 This is all your fault. 329 00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:08,132 How's it my fault you left the book in the limo? 330 00:28:08,303 --> 00:28:11,966 It's your fault I was even in the limo. 331 00:28:12,140 --> 00:28:14,700 I can't even function without my day planner. 332 00:28:14,876 --> 00:28:17,470 I'm trying to think of a reason to keep on living. 333 00:28:17,645 --> 00:28:21,581 Still trying. Still trying. 334 00:28:21,750 --> 00:28:24,742 - You need to chill. You just need to relax. - Relax? 335 00:28:25,053 --> 00:28:29,046 How am I supposed to relax? My relaxation tapes are in my day planner! 336 00:28:34,028 --> 00:28:37,054 - Snap out of it! - Don't hit me. 337 00:28:37,265 --> 00:28:42,225 Listen. Okay, your speech doesn't start until 3:00. That gives you three and a half hours! 338 00:28:44,304 --> 00:28:46,329 - Four and a half. - Same thing. 339 00:28:46,507 --> 00:28:49,670 Roxy, spontaneity doesn't just happen. 340 00:28:49,843 --> 00:28:51,970 You have to get there and rehearse. 341 00:28:53,947 --> 00:28:56,415 Besides, where am I gonna get cleaned up? 342 00:28:56,583 --> 00:28:58,278 I have a plan. 343 00:28:58,452 --> 00:28:59,817 Checking in, ladies? 344 00:28:59,987 --> 00:29:01,454 - We're with the band. - Yeah. 345 00:29:01,622 --> 00:29:03,613 - Well, then. - I'm Paris, this is Nicky. 346 00:29:03,791 --> 00:29:05,019 Welcome, Paris. 347 00:29:05,292 --> 00:29:07,886 - How could you let them go? - Well, they're very smart. 348 00:29:08,062 --> 00:29:11,361 - One of them even spoke Chinese. - I don't care. 349 00:29:11,532 --> 00:29:13,796 What's so important about this stupid chip? 350 00:29:13,967 --> 00:29:17,698 That stupid chip contains millions of dollars in pirated music. 351 00:29:17,871 --> 00:29:19,839 Pirate music? You mean: 352 00:29:21,375 --> 00:29:22,569 Bennie! 353 00:29:23,110 --> 00:29:25,806 Okay. I know what you mean. I was just kidding. 354 00:29:25,979 --> 00:29:27,879 We send chip to Hong Kong... 355 00:29:28,048 --> 00:29:30,881 ...they transfer it from chip onto compact disk. 356 00:29:31,418 --> 00:29:35,320 They sell pirated copies, and we make millions. 357 00:29:36,023 --> 00:29:38,924 Okay, I understand. 358 00:29:39,093 --> 00:29:42,654 I'll get the chip back and restore honor to family. 359 00:29:43,263 --> 00:29:46,027 After all, I am your number-one adopted son. 360 00:29:46,200 --> 00:29:49,795 Get chip, make compact disk, sell to teenagers. 361 00:30:05,185 --> 00:30:06,447 What are we doing here? 362 00:30:06,620 --> 00:30:08,144 Watch and learn. 363 00:30:09,389 --> 00:30:10,617 I'd love to. 364 00:30:10,791 --> 00:30:15,057 But I'm presenting an award this afternoon. You know that. 365 00:30:15,295 --> 00:30:17,695 Carey, come. Hurry, hurry. 366 00:30:19,566 --> 00:30:21,534 Now! 367 00:30:26,273 --> 00:30:28,138 This is your plan? 368 00:30:28,308 --> 00:30:30,299 Yep. And a pretty good one. 369 00:30:31,044 --> 00:30:36,004 Breaking into a hotel room is exactly how Nixon went down. I'm not going in there. 370 00:30:36,183 --> 00:30:40,119 Not going in there. I'm not going in there. 371 00:30:42,189 --> 00:30:44,453 Okay, I'm going in there. 372 00:30:45,325 --> 00:30:49,318 Okay, I'm just going to get cleaned up, and then we're out of here. 373 00:30:49,496 --> 00:30:51,123 Clean up, get out. 374 00:30:54,468 --> 00:30:56,129 What? 375 00:30:57,171 --> 00:31:00,231 - It's a... - Dog. 376 00:31:02,442 --> 00:31:04,376 I think. 377 00:31:05,045 --> 00:31:06,444 Well... 378 00:31:06,613 --> 00:31:08,547 ...you take a shower first... 379 00:31:08,715 --> 00:31:11,411 ...and I'll take the doggy. Come on, puppy. 380 00:31:19,893 --> 00:31:22,487 - Jane Ryan speaking. - I have your date book. 381 00:31:23,430 --> 00:31:25,295 - Roxy! - What? 382 00:31:26,066 --> 00:31:29,058 - What? - It's the psycho. He has my day planner. 383 00:31:29,236 --> 00:31:31,204 Let me... I'll talk to him. 384 00:31:31,371 --> 00:31:33,066 - Be nice. - Okay. 385 00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,073 - Listen, you... - I told you to be nice. 386 00:31:37,344 --> 00:31:38,572 You can take money... 387 00:31:38,745 --> 00:31:42,237 ...you can have the credit cards, just please don't hurt my speech. 388 00:31:42,416 --> 00:31:44,611 Shut up. I talk, you listen. 389 00:31:44,785 --> 00:31:47,618 - Okay. Good idea. - You took my chip. 390 00:31:48,121 --> 00:31:49,986 Roxy, did you eat this man's chips? 391 00:31:50,324 --> 00:31:51,757 - No. - You sure? 392 00:31:52,793 --> 00:31:55,921 - I didn't eat his chips. - She didn't eat your chips. 393 00:31:56,530 --> 00:32:00,796 No, not chips. Chip. My microchip. 394 00:32:00,968 --> 00:32:03,402 Listen, we need that book back. 395 00:32:03,570 --> 00:32:08,769 So meet us outside the Plaza Hotel in 30 minutes, or I will eat your chips. 396 00:32:32,899 --> 00:32:36,062 Found the chip! 397 00:32:48,682 --> 00:32:51,150 - Hi. - Hi. 398 00:33:00,160 --> 00:33:01,422 Is today my birthday? 399 00:33:03,330 --> 00:33:06,424 Oh, my God. I'm sorry. We're just leaving. 400 00:33:07,067 --> 00:33:09,695 - My sister. - There's gonna be a five-alarm fire... 401 00:33:09,870 --> 00:33:13,067 ...if my mom finds you. - This psycho stole my day planner... 402 00:33:13,240 --> 00:33:17,074 ...which has my entire life in it. Now we have to give him his chip back. 403 00:33:17,244 --> 00:33:22,113 Okay, so psycho, day planner, computer chip... 404 00:33:22,382 --> 00:33:24,247 Yeah, makes perfect sense to me. 405 00:33:24,551 --> 00:33:26,610 - Thank you. - Yeah. 406 00:33:27,988 --> 00:33:31,116 But you might have a little trouble swapping the chip. 407 00:33:31,291 --> 00:33:34,260 - Why? - Because Reinaldo just ate it. 408 00:33:36,930 --> 00:33:39,296 No. No, he didn't. 409 00:33:39,466 --> 00:33:42,560 - Are you serious? - The little green thing, he just ate it. 410 00:33:42,869 --> 00:33:45,133 - Spit it out. Come on. - Hello? 411 00:33:45,305 --> 00:33:47,739 - Hello, Trey. - Hi, Mom. 412 00:33:47,908 --> 00:33:50,240 I'm on my way up. Change of schedule. 413 00:33:50,410 --> 00:33:52,935 Bring my purse, dear. I'm meeting Hillary at 1. 414 00:33:53,146 --> 00:33:54,943 Okay. 415 00:33:55,115 --> 00:33:57,606 All right. So my mom's on her way up. 416 00:33:57,851 --> 00:34:00,581 She's a senator. Anne Baxter Lipton. 417 00:34:02,155 --> 00:34:05,124 - A senator? - Should've kept that little fact to yourself. 418 00:34:05,292 --> 00:34:06,520 - A senator. - Yeah. 419 00:34:06,693 --> 00:34:08,718 I can never run for office now. 420 00:34:09,463 --> 00:34:12,057 - Come here, little puppy. - I'll be right back. 421 00:34:12,466 --> 00:34:14,434 - Get it out. - Shake it out. 422 00:34:14,601 --> 00:34:16,501 - Shake it out. - Spit it out. 423 00:34:16,670 --> 00:34:18,297 - Hey, easy... - A senator? 424 00:34:18,472 --> 00:34:20,497 - Come on. - The dog ate the chip. 425 00:34:21,041 --> 00:34:23,100 I need the chip to get the day planner. 426 00:34:23,310 --> 00:34:25,642 - This isn't happening. - He bit me! 427 00:34:25,812 --> 00:34:27,939 Calm down. I don't want it. 428 00:34:28,115 --> 00:34:29,742 Don't throw him. 429 00:34:32,619 --> 00:34:34,314 - Keep it! - You take him! 430 00:34:37,391 --> 00:34:38,858 My bad. 431 00:34:40,727 --> 00:34:43,423 Oh, thank God. Reinaldo. 432 00:34:43,997 --> 00:34:47,694 Jane, what are you doing? You're gonna wind up dead! 433 00:34:47,968 --> 00:34:50,266 Without that chip, I am dead. 434 00:34:50,470 --> 00:34:54,201 Okay. Come back here. Come here, doggy. 435 00:34:54,374 --> 00:34:57,741 Okay. Here we go. Okay. 436 00:35:00,881 --> 00:35:02,678 Trey? Trey? 437 00:35:02,849 --> 00:35:04,714 - My mom. - Why is the door locked? 438 00:35:04,885 --> 00:35:08,048 - I'll be late for the Simple Plan shoot. - The video shoot? 439 00:35:08,221 --> 00:35:10,189 - Yeah. - Trey? Hello? 440 00:35:10,357 --> 00:35:12,882 - At least tell me your name before you go. - Roxy. 441 00:35:13,160 --> 00:35:16,186 - Roxy. - Jane. Come here. 442 00:35:16,363 --> 00:35:19,298 I was taking a nap. Sorry. 443 00:35:20,066 --> 00:35:22,967 Look what I got my little boy for lunch. 444 00:35:23,136 --> 00:35:24,569 Thanks, Mom. I already ate. 445 00:35:25,505 --> 00:35:26,938 Reinaldo. 446 00:35:27,107 --> 00:35:30,838 Reinaldo, come here, boy. Look what Mommy has for you. 447 00:35:31,011 --> 00:35:35,038 Come here, my precious little baby. Where's my...? Come on. 448 00:35:35,215 --> 00:35:39,311 Look what Mommy has. Reinaldo, don't make Mommy beg. 449 00:35:41,188 --> 00:35:43,850 - Hold on. - Come here, doggy. Doggy. 450 00:35:44,024 --> 00:35:47,050 Trey. Where is Reinaldo? He always answers when I call. 451 00:35:47,227 --> 00:35:48,660 He's not answering. 452 00:35:48,829 --> 00:35:52,162 Come here, doggy. So I can stick my finger down your throat. 453 00:35:52,666 --> 00:35:56,397 Whatever you do, don't look down. 454 00:35:57,971 --> 00:36:00,940 Mom, there's something you should know, okay? 455 00:36:01,107 --> 00:36:04,440 Now, Reinaldo, he... 456 00:36:05,545 --> 00:36:07,342 I took him to the groomer's. 457 00:36:07,581 --> 00:36:09,048 Why would you do that? 458 00:36:09,249 --> 00:36:12,616 Because he smelled. 459 00:36:16,122 --> 00:36:19,057 - Don't worry. We're getting out of here. - I can't move. 460 00:36:19,226 --> 00:36:23,526 Oh, God, I almost forgot. I gotta go. I gotta... Yeah. I'm going to be late. 461 00:36:23,697 --> 00:36:25,631 Don't forget to pick up Reinaldo. 462 00:36:25,799 --> 00:36:27,426 Give me the dog. 463 00:36:30,470 --> 00:36:33,997 Deals like this are the result of years of really hard work. 464 00:36:34,174 --> 00:36:37,439 Things don't just fall out of the sky. 465 00:36:37,611 --> 00:36:39,545 - How you doing? - Going down! 466 00:36:58,265 --> 00:37:00,756 - That wasn't so bad. - No. 467 00:37:01,635 --> 00:37:03,899 Can I have my towel, please? 468 00:37:11,912 --> 00:37:13,140 - Sir, I need your help. - Yes, sir. 469 00:37:13,313 --> 00:37:15,281 Help me find a dog and two girls in towels. 470 00:37:15,448 --> 00:37:17,439 Who exactly are they? 471 00:37:17,617 --> 00:37:21,053 Okay, puppy. Okay. Go home. You need to go home. 472 00:37:21,221 --> 00:37:23,121 - What are you doing? - We need to go. 473 00:37:23,290 --> 00:37:24,518 No, we need that dog. 474 00:37:24,691 --> 00:37:28,149 That dog is my life. And when he poops, his poop is my life. 475 00:37:28,328 --> 00:37:30,956 Come on, Reinaldo! Come on. 476 00:37:31,131 --> 00:37:34,328 - Good puppy. Okay. - Can anything else go wrong today? 477 00:37:41,875 --> 00:37:45,106 - Am I squashing you? - Yeah. It's great. 478 00:37:45,378 --> 00:37:48,814 - Did I just...? - Yeah. You just said that out loud. 479 00:37:48,982 --> 00:37:53,510 If we keep bumping into each other like this, one of us is gonna get hurt. 480 00:37:53,687 --> 00:37:55,382 I'm willing to take that chance. 481 00:37:55,555 --> 00:37:58,023 - Roxy! - Paris! Nicky! 482 00:37:58,191 --> 00:38:01,957 - How can I find you? - Call her. 555-8989. 483 00:38:02,128 --> 00:38:03,993 She's home every night. 484 00:38:04,164 --> 00:38:06,223 - What's your name? - It's Jane. 485 00:38:06,399 --> 00:38:07,627 I'm Jim! 486 00:39:17,437 --> 00:39:20,031 Here. How am I gonna survive without my watch? 487 00:39:20,306 --> 00:39:21,898 I don't know. 488 00:39:22,375 --> 00:39:27,142 Come on. You can poopy. Just a little one. Come on. 489 00:39:27,781 --> 00:39:29,112 Any luck? 490 00:39:30,483 --> 00:39:32,474 Think we have something. 491 00:39:35,188 --> 00:39:37,554 - False alarm. - I can't go looking like this. 492 00:39:37,724 --> 00:39:41,251 - I'm starting to have heart palpitations. - No, don't worry, okay? 493 00:39:41,428 --> 00:39:43,896 We're gonna fix you up. I promise. 494 00:39:45,598 --> 00:39:49,432 It's all gonna work out. Where are you going? 495 00:39:49,669 --> 00:39:51,102 To get my day planner back. 496 00:39:52,639 --> 00:39:54,266 - I'll go with you. - No. 497 00:39:55,008 --> 00:39:57,238 I don't think that's such a good idea. 498 00:39:57,410 --> 00:40:00,402 Our togetherness today hasn't exactly been good luck. 499 00:40:01,881 --> 00:40:03,143 Rox, I'll be fine. 500 00:40:03,516 --> 00:40:06,451 It's in front of the Plaza. There's a lot of witnesses. 501 00:40:06,720 --> 00:40:09,951 It's not like this guy's exactly, like, a criminal mastermind. 502 00:40:10,123 --> 00:40:12,148 So have fun at the concert. 503 00:40:13,026 --> 00:40:14,493 Video shoot. 504 00:40:15,695 --> 00:40:19,324 59th and Ninth. If you care. 505 00:40:31,911 --> 00:40:34,072 Okay, kiddies. 506 00:40:34,247 --> 00:40:36,181 Playtime's over. 507 00:40:39,552 --> 00:40:41,383 Where do you think you're going? 508 00:40:41,554 --> 00:40:44,352 I'm on a case. Where do you think you're going? 509 00:40:44,691 --> 00:40:47,057 What do you mean? I'm not going anywhere. 510 00:40:47,227 --> 00:40:48,990 So we're clear on that. 511 00:40:49,162 --> 00:40:51,596 Yeah. I didn't think so. 512 00:40:58,271 --> 00:41:00,239 Jeff. What's up, man? It's Trey. 513 00:41:00,406 --> 00:41:04,240 Hey, you remember that Simple Plan video shoot you were telling me about? 514 00:41:04,410 --> 00:41:07,777 Yeah. Where is it? It's 59th and Ninth. Are you sure? 515 00:41:07,947 --> 00:41:11,075 That's awesome, man. You rock. I owe you. Bye. 516 00:41:11,684 --> 00:41:15,552 Boy, talk about anal-retentive. This girl is a cuckoo bird. 517 00:41:18,725 --> 00:41:23,719 I'm surprised she doesn't have trips to the bathroom scheduled. Wait, right here, 3:30. 518 00:41:24,030 --> 00:41:27,090 - Look, I think we... - You're late. 519 00:41:27,801 --> 00:41:30,497 I think we got off on the wrong foot a while back. 520 00:41:30,670 --> 00:41:32,934 I just wanna know... Okay. 521 00:41:36,676 --> 00:41:38,041 Give me my chip. 522 00:41:39,345 --> 00:41:41,040 - What's this? - It's your chip. 523 00:41:41,214 --> 00:41:44,741 - Excuse me? - Well, you see, Reinaldo here... 524 00:41:45,084 --> 00:41:47,348 ...he ate your chip. - Reinaldo ate my chip. 525 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:49,681 - Is this some kind of joke? - I don't joke. 526 00:41:49,856 --> 00:41:51,483 Can I have my day planner back? 527 00:41:51,658 --> 00:41:55,594 You know what I think I do? I think I run over the dog with the car. 528 00:41:55,762 --> 00:41:58,560 No, wait, that might damage the chip. 529 00:41:58,731 --> 00:42:01,928 You give me my chip, or I'll kill you! Cough it up, pooch. 530 00:42:02,635 --> 00:42:04,262 No, no. Please don't hurt him. 531 00:42:04,437 --> 00:42:06,234 Give it to me. Let me have it! 532 00:42:09,175 --> 00:42:10,403 Good shot, Reinaldo. 533 00:42:15,081 --> 00:42:16,708 Disgusting! 534 00:42:29,929 --> 00:42:33,456 Mike one, check. Testing, one, two. One, two. 535 00:42:33,633 --> 00:42:35,567 Excuse me, fellas. 536 00:42:35,735 --> 00:42:38,499 Excuse me, Cochise. Thattaboy. 537 00:42:38,905 --> 00:42:41,931 - I'm so excited. - Thanks. 538 00:42:42,108 --> 00:42:44,406 - You're good. - Roxy. 539 00:42:46,246 --> 00:42:47,907 - Hi. - Hey. 540 00:42:48,948 --> 00:42:52,543 I was wondering if you knew where my mom's dog was. 541 00:42:52,719 --> 00:42:56,951 But I mean, I also wanted to see you again. 542 00:42:58,191 --> 00:42:59,249 Come on! Move it! 543 00:42:59,425 --> 00:43:02,019 - Do you have a pass? - No. 544 00:43:02,195 --> 00:43:04,459 I'll be right back, okay? So just stay here. 545 00:43:04,631 --> 00:43:07,657 - I'll figure it out. - Figure it out somewhere else, okay? 546 00:43:10,103 --> 00:43:11,832 Simple Plan. 547 00:43:12,005 --> 00:43:13,768 They rock. 548 00:43:17,243 --> 00:43:19,677 Got all their LPs. 549 00:43:21,648 --> 00:43:25,448 I'm sorry, I didn't get your name. Is it Loser? 550 00:43:26,920 --> 00:43:28,512 How come you're not in school? 551 00:43:28,922 --> 00:43:32,949 Okay, okay. Don't worry. I've got bigger fish to fry. 552 00:43:33,393 --> 00:43:36,954 - Excuse me. Coming through. - Thanks for coming to this video shoot. 553 00:43:37,130 --> 00:43:39,655 We're gonna need a lot of your energy today. 554 00:43:39,866 --> 00:43:42,562 So are you guys ready? 555 00:43:42,735 --> 00:43:44,225 Are we ready? 556 00:43:44,404 --> 00:43:45,632 Rox, where are you? 557 00:43:45,805 --> 00:43:49,741 This is the scene live in midtown, where punk-rock group Simple Plan... 558 00:43:49,909 --> 00:43:53,345 ...is shooting their latest music video. - A little louder! 559 00:43:54,247 --> 00:43:58,843 Nice. Get ready. Welcome, Simple Plan! 560 00:44:03,389 --> 00:44:07,018 What's up, New York City? 561 00:44:55,141 --> 00:44:56,972 Old-school dance moves. 562 00:45:13,026 --> 00:45:16,484 Hi. Please give it a listen. Our contact info's inside. 563 00:45:16,662 --> 00:45:19,096 - Nice packaging. Let's take a look. - Thanks. 564 00:45:19,265 --> 00:45:21,631 Hello, Miss Ryan. 565 00:45:21,901 --> 00:45:26,065 So nice to finally meet you face to face. 566 00:45:26,639 --> 00:45:29,699 It's been quite a chase all these years, huh? 567 00:45:29,942 --> 00:45:34,174 One not without a few clever maneuvers on your part... 568 00:45:34,347 --> 00:45:38,784 ...but here we are. - You know what? I'm tired of running. 569 00:45:38,985 --> 00:45:43,319 - I'll go quietly. - I don't use handcuffs, Miss Ryan. 570 00:45:44,090 --> 00:45:47,526 - Just brains. - But before we go, Mr. Lomax... 571 00:45:47,693 --> 00:45:49,661 - Yeah? - Check your fly. 572 00:45:49,829 --> 00:45:51,660 What's that? 573 00:45:56,302 --> 00:45:59,863 - I have to get by. - Where do you think you're going? 574 00:46:00,373 --> 00:46:02,705 You may want to check your fly. 575 00:46:23,830 --> 00:46:25,127 Roxy! 576 00:46:30,470 --> 00:46:31,869 Hey, man, what's up? 577 00:46:35,908 --> 00:46:37,808 It's Lomax. 578 00:46:37,977 --> 00:46:40,343 Everybody, jump. Jump! 579 00:46:47,887 --> 00:46:49,149 Roxy! 580 00:47:10,977 --> 00:47:12,911 - Lomax! - Lomax? 581 00:47:13,079 --> 00:47:14,706 Lomax? 582 00:47:15,314 --> 00:47:17,282 - We're trapped. - Take my hand. 583 00:47:34,667 --> 00:47:36,259 Roxy? 584 00:47:38,437 --> 00:47:39,734 Roxy! 585 00:47:43,442 --> 00:47:45,740 Has everybody washed their hands? 586 00:47:49,415 --> 00:47:51,315 I'm next! 587 00:47:57,456 --> 00:47:59,356 That's gotta hurt. 588 00:48:02,028 --> 00:48:05,987 Sorry about that. Sorry. Excuse me. I'm sorry, guys. Excuse me. 589 00:48:06,232 --> 00:48:09,998 I'm looking for two girls and this little dog that just ran out of here. 590 00:48:10,169 --> 00:48:12,603 - Did you see where they went? - I did. 591 00:48:12,772 --> 00:48:15,673 - They went to the Simple Plan after-party. - Great. 592 00:48:15,841 --> 00:48:18,833 You know, I'm going there now. I drive all the VIPs. 593 00:48:19,011 --> 00:48:22,777 - I could give you a ride. - Yeah? Thanks, man. 594 00:48:22,949 --> 00:48:24,541 Thanks. 595 00:48:29,655 --> 00:48:31,782 - This Lomax guy is crazy. - I know. 596 00:48:38,297 --> 00:48:39,525 Okay. 597 00:48:39,699 --> 00:48:42,259 - Let's hide in the tent. - Okay. 598 00:48:50,409 --> 00:48:52,434 Cover up the manhole. We're done here. 599 00:48:53,546 --> 00:48:54,945 Give me a hand! 600 00:48:58,684 --> 00:49:01,881 The climactic event of my academic career is in two hours. 601 00:49:02,054 --> 00:49:05,455 And I'm drenched with a dog in a sewer. Yeah. 602 00:49:05,625 --> 00:49:08,116 No. See, we're in luck. It's just the water main. 603 00:49:09,695 --> 00:49:14,655 - I'm just trying to look on the bright side. - Bright side? There is no bright side. 604 00:49:15,368 --> 00:49:18,997 Well, I don't know. I was thinking that... 605 00:49:19,205 --> 00:49:20,433 That what? 606 00:49:20,706 --> 00:49:25,006 We haven't spent the day together in years. 607 00:49:25,511 --> 00:49:30,380 And today has made me realize how much I've missed that. 608 00:49:30,783 --> 00:49:33,513 And I don't know, I was having fun. 609 00:49:33,753 --> 00:49:36,813 And you were too, because I saw the smile on your face... 610 00:49:36,989 --> 00:49:39,150 ...when we were crowd surfing. 611 00:49:39,325 --> 00:49:44,228 - I was acting for the cameras. - Just a little bit. 612 00:49:44,797 --> 00:49:47,823 Okay, so maybe it was a little fun. 613 00:49:48,834 --> 00:49:51,826 - What's with that Lomax guy? - He's the truant officer. 614 00:49:52,004 --> 00:49:55,940 He's been after me for years, but I outsmart him every time. 615 00:49:56,142 --> 00:49:57,837 What can I say? 616 00:49:58,577 --> 00:50:00,340 You're insane. You know that? 617 00:50:00,746 --> 00:50:02,611 Yeah. I know. 618 00:50:08,187 --> 00:50:09,950 You okay, buddy? 619 00:50:10,222 --> 00:50:13,020 Yeah, I'm doing just fine, Sherlock. Yourself? 620 00:50:13,192 --> 00:50:16,059 Wife and kids? Think it'll rain? How about those Mets? 621 00:50:16,228 --> 00:50:18,423 Are we through chitchatting? 622 00:50:18,597 --> 00:50:20,497 Tell me where this sewer pipe leads? 623 00:50:20,766 --> 00:50:24,258 Well, that one there comes directly from the main line on 125th. 624 00:50:24,637 --> 00:50:27,003 Only way in or out. 625 00:50:33,045 --> 00:50:36,105 - How's the patient? - She should've gone for the C-section. 626 00:50:36,482 --> 00:50:39,144 I'm gonna miss my daughter's speech at Columbia. 627 00:50:39,318 --> 00:50:41,946 She's gonna be so disappointed. I hope she's okay. 628 00:50:46,058 --> 00:50:49,960 The unpublicized event has drawn quite a crowd here today. 629 00:50:50,162 --> 00:50:52,323 Come on, move off the road. Please? 630 00:51:02,408 --> 00:51:04,342 Hi, it's Jane. Leave a message. 631 00:51:04,543 --> 00:51:07,307 Jane. Hey, it's Jim. 632 00:51:07,546 --> 00:51:12,074 The guy that ripped your skirt and pummeled you with his bike. 633 00:51:12,518 --> 00:51:14,042 Sorry about that. 634 00:51:15,287 --> 00:51:19,383 Anyway, I was just calling to make sure you're okay. 635 00:51:19,759 --> 00:51:21,624 So... 636 00:51:22,495 --> 00:51:26,022 I'll keep looking for you. I'm gonna make it up to you. All right? 637 00:51:26,399 --> 00:51:28,094 See you. 638 00:51:30,336 --> 00:51:33,669 We need to get out of here. This thing is never-ending. 639 00:51:33,873 --> 00:51:36,535 Wait a sec. Columbia's on 116th Street, right? 640 00:51:36,709 --> 00:51:38,404 Right. 641 00:51:38,711 --> 00:51:40,144 I got you nine blocks away. 642 00:51:48,454 --> 00:51:51,150 She can't get a date because she sounds fat... 643 00:51:51,323 --> 00:51:53,348 What's up with this fool? 644 00:51:54,760 --> 00:51:56,853 White people are crazy. 645 00:51:57,730 --> 00:51:59,561 Roxy, Columbia's on the West Side. 646 00:52:04,937 --> 00:52:08,532 - Here we are. Let's find a subway. - Let's ask the House of Bling. 647 00:52:08,707 --> 00:52:10,174 Good idea. 648 00:52:16,081 --> 00:52:19,482 - Can I help you? - We are so not in Kansas anymore. 649 00:52:21,987 --> 00:52:24,615 We're from the gas company. 650 00:52:25,157 --> 00:52:27,955 - No gas here. Okay. - Hold it. 651 00:52:28,127 --> 00:52:32,496 I can't have anyone seeing you leave my store looking like that. 652 00:52:32,665 --> 00:52:35,691 - Mickey, show them out the back way. - Okay, Ma. 653 00:52:36,268 --> 00:52:38,202 Oh, come on. 654 00:52:39,371 --> 00:52:42,499 - What? What is it? - It's 1:13. 655 00:52:42,675 --> 00:52:45,109 It's 1:13. I'm never gonna make it. 656 00:52:45,277 --> 00:52:46,744 What's wrong with that girl? 657 00:52:46,912 --> 00:52:51,508 - She doesn't do well under pressure. - Oh, my God! I'm having a heart attack! 658 00:52:51,684 --> 00:52:53,413 - Call 991. Call 991. - Breathe. 659 00:52:53,586 --> 00:52:56,077 Call 991! 991? 660 00:52:56,255 --> 00:52:57,779 Stay calm! 661 00:52:59,558 --> 00:53:01,287 Thank you. I'm not thirsty. 662 00:53:01,460 --> 00:53:04,395 It's okay. Breathe. Breathe. Deep breaths. 663 00:53:04,563 --> 00:53:06,963 Happy thoughts. Sing with me, okay? 664 00:53:33,993 --> 00:53:36,257 - You okay? - Works every time. 665 00:53:36,529 --> 00:53:38,429 Dang, what's that all about? 666 00:53:38,697 --> 00:53:43,066 In two hours, I'm supposed to make the most important speech of my life. 667 00:53:43,235 --> 00:53:44,463 It's been a rough day. 668 00:53:44,737 --> 00:53:48,264 Sweetheart, if it was all smooth sailing, you know where we'd be? 669 00:53:48,440 --> 00:53:51,739 - Bored to tears, that's what. - Amen. 670 00:53:51,911 --> 00:53:54,971 Take this sister over here. Come here, baby. 671 00:53:55,147 --> 00:53:58,913 Good. It's the curve balls that make life interesting. 672 00:53:59,084 --> 00:54:00,642 Shows us what we're made of. 673 00:54:00,853 --> 00:54:03,981 And sometimes, if we're real lucky... 674 00:54:04,156 --> 00:54:08,115 ...there's a blessing waiting for us at the end of that wrong turn. 675 00:54:08,327 --> 00:54:11,125 Well, what if there's been about 50 wrong turns? 676 00:54:11,297 --> 00:54:14,027 That last wrong turn brought you in here, didn't it? 677 00:54:14,199 --> 00:54:16,929 So prepare to be blessed. 678 00:54:17,102 --> 00:54:21,038 Mickey. Bring me my toolbox. We got some major bling to do. 679 00:54:21,840 --> 00:54:25,435 - Who's Major Bling? - Honey, this is Big Shirl's House of Bling. 680 00:54:25,678 --> 00:54:29,136 This is where the bling is born. This is where bling lives. 681 00:54:29,315 --> 00:54:31,283 You got nothing to worry about. 682 00:54:39,625 --> 00:54:43,652 Just so we're clear, I'd like a more corporate bling. 683 00:55:09,888 --> 00:55:13,085 Boy, you is filthy. What am I gonna do with you? 684 00:55:30,909 --> 00:55:34,845 Boyfriend. Well, you girlfriend now. 685 00:55:48,127 --> 00:55:51,358 New York Knicks, baby! New York Knicks! 686 00:56:07,079 --> 00:56:09,570 - You look so hot. - I feel hot. 687 00:56:09,748 --> 00:56:11,943 Sisters got some sister in them! 688 00:56:12,484 --> 00:56:14,281 Y'all good to go. 689 00:56:34,106 --> 00:56:36,370 - Thank you so much. - Oh, you're welcome. 690 00:56:36,542 --> 00:56:39,511 - I promise we'll pay you back. - Honey, it's on the house. 691 00:56:39,678 --> 00:56:40,906 - Thank you. - Bye-bye. 692 00:56:41,080 --> 00:56:42,308 - Good luck. - Thanks. 693 00:56:42,481 --> 00:56:44,608 - All right. - I think I can pull this off. 694 00:56:44,783 --> 00:56:47,843 Hello? Oh, it's for you. 695 00:56:48,053 --> 00:56:49,418 Hello? Jane Ryan speaking. 696 00:56:49,588 --> 00:56:51,818 I have your boyfriend. 697 00:56:52,091 --> 00:56:55,527 - I don't have a boyfriend. - Then I have your sister's boyfriend. 698 00:56:55,794 --> 00:56:58,285 My sister doesn't have a boyfriend, either. 699 00:56:58,464 --> 00:57:01,865 Okay, look. Whatever. I'm through with being Mr. Softy. 700 00:57:02,101 --> 00:57:06,003 You meet me in Times Square at corner of 47th and Broadway... 701 00:57:06,171 --> 00:57:10,039 ...in 20 minutes, or else I will burn your book. 702 00:57:10,576 --> 00:57:11,838 He's gonna burn my book. 703 00:57:12,010 --> 00:57:14,808 He's not gonna burn your book. That's censorship. 704 00:57:17,249 --> 00:57:19,479 - We have to go. - Well, let's go. 705 00:57:19,651 --> 00:57:21,141 We need a ride, Big Shirl. 706 00:57:21,320 --> 00:57:23,185 - Mickey, get your cab. - Not now, Ma. 707 00:57:23,355 --> 00:57:24,947 - Around the corner. - Thank you! 708 00:57:25,124 --> 00:57:28,890 - Be careful. All right. See you. - Roxanne Ryan. Cease and desist! 709 00:57:30,729 --> 00:57:32,128 Who's that cracker? 710 00:57:34,933 --> 00:57:36,992 I don't know. He ain't from around here. 711 00:57:37,669 --> 00:57:39,500 Hurry, get in the car! 712 00:57:40,405 --> 00:57:42,202 Okay. 713 00:57:44,543 --> 00:57:46,408 Jane, start the car. 714 00:57:46,578 --> 00:57:49,138 I'm not exactly a strong driver. 715 00:57:53,018 --> 00:57:55,179 Step out of the car, Ryan. It's all over. 716 00:57:55,354 --> 00:57:58,414 - What do I do? - Brake, left. Gas, right. Go! 717 00:58:05,697 --> 00:58:07,255 Watch out for the guy! 718 00:58:07,432 --> 00:58:08,797 - Slow down! - Sorry! 719 00:58:09,568 --> 00:58:11,399 - Braking. Red. - I know. 720 00:58:11,570 --> 00:58:12,901 Stop! 721 00:58:19,378 --> 00:58:22,939 Nassau County Department of Truancy. I'm taking over your vehicle. 722 00:58:24,983 --> 00:58:26,678 - Okey-dokey. - What fun. 723 00:58:26,919 --> 00:58:29,114 Tim Brooger. My wife, Steffi. 724 00:58:29,288 --> 00:58:31,950 - Pleased to meet you. - Buckle up. Could be bumpy. 725 00:58:40,532 --> 00:58:43,433 How you got your driver's license is beyond me. 726 00:58:44,102 --> 00:58:48,061 You didn't? You failed your driver's test? That's incredible. 727 00:58:48,240 --> 00:58:53,234 I got 100 percent on the written. I just didn't quite pass the driving part. 728 00:58:54,413 --> 00:58:57,041 - Are we gonna be in a car chase? - Don't tell me. 729 00:58:57,216 --> 00:59:00,014 - We've never been in a car chase. - No, sir. Not one. 730 00:59:00,185 --> 00:59:03,586 - Seen them on TV. - I think New York has the best car chases. 731 00:59:03,755 --> 00:59:06,417 - Oh, shoot... - Small favor, Clem. Put a sock in it. 732 00:59:06,592 --> 00:59:08,560 Done, sir. 733 00:59:08,727 --> 00:59:11,594 - Where is he? Is he behind us? - Yeah. 734 00:59:15,067 --> 00:59:19,026 We drove all the way from Minnetonka, Minnesota just to see New York City. 735 00:59:19,204 --> 00:59:21,035 The Big Apple. 736 00:59:21,206 --> 00:59:25,870 - They say it's the city that never sleeps. - I think it will now that you've hit town. 737 00:59:27,112 --> 00:59:29,637 - Red light, red light! - I know! 738 00:59:30,015 --> 00:59:31,346 Red! 739 00:59:32,851 --> 00:59:35,183 I read the rule book. I know what red means. 740 00:59:35,721 --> 00:59:38,690 Hi. I need to go to 112th... 741 00:59:39,524 --> 00:59:41,424 Go! Floor it! 742 00:59:43,228 --> 00:59:45,287 - Oh, God! - What are you doing here? 743 00:59:46,131 --> 00:59:48,326 God, that is so hot! 744 00:59:53,972 --> 00:59:56,167 Would you give me just a little air? 745 00:59:56,341 --> 00:59:59,538 - I can't do this. - You can do this. Breathe. 746 01:00:01,446 --> 01:00:03,710 - I'm getting killed. - Stop it. 747 01:00:06,118 --> 01:00:07,346 Whoopsy-daisy! 748 01:00:07,519 --> 01:00:10,545 - Can you drive a little bit faster? - Do you want to drive? 749 01:00:10,722 --> 01:00:12,019 I'll drive! 750 01:00:12,824 --> 01:00:16,385 I don't know if this would be helpful, but we do have a loudspeaker. 751 01:00:16,561 --> 01:00:21,089 Sure, we use that for campfire sing-alongs with our church group. 752 01:00:22,034 --> 01:00:25,333 Testing. Testing, one, two. Can this be heard? 753 01:00:25,504 --> 01:00:27,870 - Roxanne Ryan, this is the law. - Go! 754 01:00:28,040 --> 01:00:30,634 - Pull over. Give yourself up. - I'm being abducted! 755 01:00:30,809 --> 01:00:34,301 You think I'm kidding. I'm not. You're only making things worse. 756 01:00:34,479 --> 01:00:38,415 You'll be in detention the rest of your life. So let's end this right now. 757 01:00:38,583 --> 01:00:40,551 - This is kind of fun. - It's not fun! 758 01:00:40,719 --> 01:00:42,550 Where'd he go? 759 01:00:43,055 --> 01:00:44,352 I think we lost him. 760 01:00:45,590 --> 01:00:47,615 You might wanna look to your right. 761 01:00:47,826 --> 01:00:51,592 Okay, playtime's over, Ryan. Let's put the toys away and go home. 762 01:00:51,863 --> 01:00:53,490 - Pull over! - Turn right here. 763 01:00:57,035 --> 01:00:58,662 You're going the wrong way! 764 01:00:58,837 --> 01:01:02,170 - I thought you said right here. - Times Square's the other right. 765 01:01:02,341 --> 01:01:03,706 I have it under control. 766 01:01:03,875 --> 01:01:06,309 Yeah, right. Then where are we going? 767 01:01:06,545 --> 01:01:08,012 What are you doing? 768 01:01:08,180 --> 01:01:12,116 Signaling. I know the rules. Hang on, people. 769 01:01:12,284 --> 01:01:14,752 Why are we reversing? It's a one-way street! 770 01:01:15,988 --> 01:01:19,515 - We're going the wrong way. - No, but we're facing the right way. 771 01:01:19,691 --> 01:01:23,092 - You're mine now, Ryan. - It's too tight. We're not gonna make it. 772 01:01:23,261 --> 01:01:25,752 - We'll make it. - We're not gonna make it! 773 01:01:25,931 --> 01:01:29,628 - Who's the professional here, you or me? - I wanna say you. 774 01:01:30,435 --> 01:01:31,925 Go! 775 01:01:35,040 --> 01:01:36,439 Look, there's a gate! 776 01:01:42,214 --> 01:01:43,442 I'm sorry. 777 01:01:55,293 --> 01:01:58,387 - Take some of that. - Are you trying to kill us? 778 01:01:59,598 --> 01:02:03,125 I just saved your life, and you're criticizing me? 779 01:02:03,335 --> 01:02:06,099 - Welcome to my world. - What's that supposed to mean? 780 01:02:06,271 --> 01:02:08,432 It means you're always looking down on me. 781 01:02:08,607 --> 01:02:10,507 - Looking down on you? - Yeah. 782 01:02:10,675 --> 01:02:12,609 I've been looking out for you. 783 01:02:13,011 --> 01:02:15,912 Hey. Let me out of this car! 784 01:02:21,353 --> 01:02:23,321 Thanks for nothing! 785 01:02:23,488 --> 01:02:28,892 - How have you been looking out for me? - Are you insane? That's all I ever do! 786 01:02:29,061 --> 01:02:32,895 The one day, the one time I want it to be about me for a change... 787 01:02:33,065 --> 01:02:36,728 ...I get inducted into the Roxy Ryan School of Juvenile Delinquency. 788 01:02:36,902 --> 01:02:39,996 I've been trying to help you from the minute we left. 789 01:02:40,172 --> 01:02:42,106 Lot of good that's done. 790 01:02:42,574 --> 01:02:45,509 Where are you going? I'm not finished. 791 01:02:45,677 --> 01:02:47,304 Yeah, well, I am. 792 01:02:47,979 --> 01:02:51,380 Why don't you run along and have fun. That's what you're good at. 793 01:02:51,550 --> 01:02:55,987 As opposed to you, which is walking away whenever we have a real conversation? 794 01:02:56,221 --> 01:02:58,917 I don't have time for a real conversation. 795 01:02:59,124 --> 01:03:02,150 - I'm too busy taking care of things. - So who asked you to? 796 01:03:02,327 --> 01:03:06,821 You did. The minute you stopped taking responsibility for anything since Mom died. 797 01:03:06,998 --> 01:03:09,489 That doesn't mean you get to be her replacement. 798 01:03:12,504 --> 01:03:14,768 You know what I miss most about Mom? 799 01:03:15,073 --> 01:03:17,803 Is that she loved that we were different. 800 01:03:18,009 --> 01:03:21,308 And you punish me for it. 801 01:03:22,180 --> 01:03:24,307 From the day Mom died... 802 01:03:24,483 --> 01:03:27,509 ...you've done nothing but push me out of your life. 803 01:03:27,719 --> 01:03:30,586 - I have not. - Oh, come on, Jane. 804 01:03:31,189 --> 01:03:35,990 The biggest day of your academic career, and you didn't even bother to invite me. 805 01:03:37,662 --> 01:03:41,496 Well, forgive me for wanting the day to be about me for a change. 806 01:03:42,167 --> 01:03:45,694 I make honor roll, Dad doesn't notice because you're in detention. 807 01:03:46,004 --> 01:03:50,168 I'm captain of the cheerleading squad, and Dad can't come to one game. 808 01:03:50,475 --> 01:03:54,912 One game, because he's busy going to your parent/counselor meetings. 809 01:03:56,381 --> 01:03:59,248 You wanna know why I want this fellowship abroad? 810 01:03:59,518 --> 01:04:02,351 It's because it's 3000 miles away from you. 811 01:04:08,827 --> 01:04:11,193 Well, I really hope you get it, then. 812 01:05:51,396 --> 01:05:52,624 Roxy. 813 01:06:04,442 --> 01:06:08,344 Don't you worry. I'm not going to let the mean little man hurt you. 814 01:06:09,147 --> 01:06:11,980 Hey, I don't know who you are or what your game is... 815 01:06:12,150 --> 01:06:15,313 ...but you've caused me a great deal of inconvenience today. 816 01:06:15,487 --> 01:06:18,320 Not to mention, I am this close to missing my speech. 817 01:06:18,490 --> 01:06:20,583 So let's have it. Let's have it. 818 01:06:21,493 --> 01:06:22,926 You finished? 819 01:06:25,397 --> 01:06:29,390 Ancient Chinese proverb: You snooze, you lose. 820 01:06:29,567 --> 01:06:32,866 - Anyone, help! - Let's take her to Ma. 821 01:06:47,819 --> 01:06:49,684 Perfect timing. 822 01:06:50,021 --> 01:06:51,249 Hello! 823 01:06:51,423 --> 01:06:53,220 Help! 824 01:06:53,391 --> 01:06:54,619 Help! 825 01:06:54,959 --> 01:06:56,517 - Help me! - Hello? 826 01:06:56,695 --> 01:06:58,390 Roxy? 827 01:06:58,563 --> 01:07:00,224 - Trey? - Yeah. 828 01:07:00,398 --> 01:07:04,129 - What are you doing in there? - Can we talk after you open the trunk? 829 01:07:05,603 --> 01:07:08,470 - Thanks. - Are you okay? What happened? 830 01:07:08,640 --> 01:07:13,475 I'm coming to find you, next thing I know, this limo guy just shoves me in there. 831 01:07:13,645 --> 01:07:16,136 Just when you think the day can't get any worse. 832 01:07:20,518 --> 01:07:23,453 - You okay? - I just got in a huge fight with my sister. 833 01:07:23,621 --> 01:07:27,284 She was gonna give a speech today. Now she won't win the fellowship... 834 01:07:27,459 --> 01:07:31,486 ...because there's no way she's getting there on time, and it's all my fault. 835 01:07:32,530 --> 01:07:34,691 You sure about that? 836 01:07:40,038 --> 01:07:43,940 - Do you wanna take a field trip right now? - Yeah. 837 01:07:44,209 --> 01:07:45,938 - Come on. - Okay. 838 01:07:46,111 --> 01:07:47,806 Taxi! 839 01:07:52,417 --> 01:07:57,184 Now, it's just you and me. 840 01:07:57,355 --> 01:08:01,416 All alone. No excuses. 841 01:08:04,329 --> 01:08:06,593 Come on. Drink this. 842 01:08:06,765 --> 01:08:09,029 Drink this, and then the chip will come out. 843 01:08:09,834 --> 01:08:13,361 This goes in here, chip come out here. 844 01:08:13,905 --> 01:08:15,930 I'm not kidding around. Drink it. 845 01:08:16,608 --> 01:08:18,098 See? 846 01:08:18,743 --> 01:08:22,338 Like that. Hey, that's pretty good. 847 01:08:24,682 --> 01:08:26,047 Come on. 848 01:08:27,752 --> 01:08:30,050 This movie isn't out yet. 849 01:08:32,123 --> 01:08:34,114 Neither is this CD. 850 01:08:34,726 --> 01:08:37,456 So that's what these guys are up to. 851 01:08:38,296 --> 01:08:42,892 Just listen to me. Give me that chip. You don't want me to use this, do you? 852 01:08:43,067 --> 01:08:45,797 I don't even know what this is. 853 01:08:45,970 --> 01:08:48,063 But it's not gonna be pleasant. 854 01:08:48,606 --> 01:08:50,631 Now, give me the chip! 855 01:08:50,809 --> 01:08:52,970 Look into my eyes. 856 01:08:53,478 --> 01:08:56,038 I'm torturing you. 857 01:08:56,414 --> 01:08:58,245 It's unbearable! 858 01:08:58,416 --> 01:09:02,250 Bennie! This is your idea of torture? 859 01:09:02,587 --> 01:09:04,521 It's pathetic! 860 01:09:04,689 --> 01:09:06,953 We do it my way. 861 01:09:07,358 --> 01:09:09,121 Cats have nine lives. 862 01:09:09,794 --> 01:09:13,252 I wonder if little doggy does. 863 01:09:17,202 --> 01:09:19,898 Okay. I hope they haven't started. 864 01:09:20,071 --> 01:09:21,800 I can't run in these heels. 865 01:09:21,973 --> 01:09:25,170 The increase and/or decrease in a nation's productivity... 866 01:09:25,343 --> 01:09:27,402 ...or other such political aggregate... 867 01:09:27,579 --> 01:09:30,878 ...can be regarded as the penultimate indicator of a nation... 868 01:09:33,284 --> 01:09:37,050 Go see what she's doing. Make her stop! Go. 869 01:09:37,222 --> 01:09:40,089 Cut it out in there! You make a mess, you clean it up. 870 01:09:45,730 --> 01:09:46,890 Sorry! 871 01:09:48,132 --> 01:09:50,066 - He bit me! - Get it off of me! 872 01:09:50,235 --> 01:09:52,066 Come on, Reinaldo. Come on! 873 01:09:52,737 --> 01:09:54,568 Come on. 874 01:10:06,284 --> 01:10:08,775 - Hey, stranger. - Would you like to save my life? 875 01:10:08,953 --> 01:10:12,081 - I have 28 minutes to go 111 blocks. - I could do that. 876 01:10:12,257 --> 01:10:15,784 - Where'd they go? - Bennie, where are they? Let's go! 877 01:10:15,960 --> 01:10:18,053 - Okay. - Hold on. 878 01:10:23,167 --> 01:10:24,395 Hold on, okay? 879 01:10:27,872 --> 01:10:29,339 - You all right? - Yeah. 880 01:10:40,685 --> 01:10:42,243 This is it. 881 01:10:44,923 --> 01:10:46,788 I don't see her. 882 01:10:47,825 --> 01:10:49,588 Jane Ryan? 883 01:10:50,728 --> 01:10:53,993 - Yeah? - You're late. You're on next. 884 01:10:54,999 --> 01:10:57,593 - Are you sure you know what you're doing? - Look... 885 01:10:57,769 --> 01:11:00,431 ...I got her into this mess, I have to get her out. 886 01:11:00,705 --> 01:11:04,698 Plus, how hard could it be reading a bunch of note cards? 887 01:11:04,876 --> 01:11:06,844 Just go with me on this one. 888 01:11:07,011 --> 01:11:09,775 Okay, yeah. You're gonna do great. 889 01:11:20,992 --> 01:11:25,258 - All right. See you out there. Good luck. - Thanks. 890 01:11:32,804 --> 01:11:36,296 Nice blazer, Muffie. 891 01:11:40,378 --> 01:11:41,868 Oh, gridlock! 892 01:11:42,046 --> 01:11:44,310 - Do you have a horn? - We'll take a shortcut. 893 01:11:45,416 --> 01:11:47,281 Hey, what are you doing? 894 01:11:47,452 --> 01:11:49,477 Sorry. 895 01:11:49,988 --> 01:11:51,216 Excuse us. 896 01:11:52,657 --> 01:11:54,522 - Sorry. - What's the matter with you? 897 01:11:56,260 --> 01:11:59,855 In this instance, we must defer to the famed economist, Adam Smith... 898 01:12:00,398 --> 01:12:03,128 ...who laid the foundation of a free market. 899 01:12:07,839 --> 01:12:09,534 Mother. 900 01:12:09,974 --> 01:12:11,373 What are you doing here? 901 01:12:12,810 --> 01:12:16,871 I'm honorary chair of the McGill Fellowship. What are you doing here? 902 01:12:18,116 --> 01:12:21,677 - I wanted to see you present the award. - Well, that's very sweet. 903 01:12:21,853 --> 01:12:25,186 Our last finalist is from Long Island and has a 4.2 GPA. 904 01:12:25,423 --> 01:12:29,484 She's student-body president and captain of her cheerleading squad. 905 01:12:29,661 --> 01:12:32,391 Please welcome Jane Ryan. 906 01:12:43,775 --> 01:12:45,242 Keep it together. It's okay. 907 01:12:56,921 --> 01:12:58,183 Oh, my God. 908 01:13:00,191 --> 01:13:02,022 You may proceed... 909 01:13:02,193 --> 01:13:04,627 ...Miss Ryan. 910 01:13:08,700 --> 01:13:11,635 - Please. - Right. 911 01:13:14,272 --> 01:13:16,069 Oh, man. 912 01:13:21,279 --> 01:13:22,541 Well... 913 01:13:22,947 --> 01:13:27,145 ...as many of you all know... 914 01:13:27,318 --> 01:13:29,513 ...the economy is... 915 01:13:29,687 --> 01:13:33,054 ...very, very important to all of us. 916 01:13:34,092 --> 01:13:36,322 Take the word "economy." 917 01:13:37,595 --> 01:13:42,760 You have "eco," which stands for environment. 918 01:13:43,034 --> 01:13:46,003 You know, which we're all real big supporters of. 919 01:13:47,205 --> 01:13:50,663 And we have "onomy," which... 920 01:13:51,309 --> 01:13:53,140 ...is pig Latin for "money." 921 01:13:55,179 --> 01:13:57,670 Money, economy. 922 01:13:58,049 --> 01:13:59,277 Right. 923 01:14:14,532 --> 01:14:17,262 - Go, go, go. Good luck. - Okay. 924 01:14:18,669 --> 01:14:21,797 - Are you coming? Come on. - Yeah. 925 01:14:30,715 --> 01:14:32,649 Well... 926 01:14:32,817 --> 01:14:34,944 ...for as the... 927 01:14:35,119 --> 01:14:40,716 ...the famous, famous Canadian professor... 928 01:14:40,892 --> 01:14:43,452 ...Avril Lavigne... 929 01:14:43,628 --> 01:14:46,062 ...stein once said, and I quote: 930 01:14:47,231 --> 01:14:50,223 "Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated? 931 01:14:51,736 --> 01:14:56,173 I see the way you're acting, like you're somebody else, gets me frustrated. 932 01:14:56,941 --> 01:14:59,967 Life's like this: You fall, and you crawl... 933 01:15:00,144 --> 01:15:03,705 ...and you break, and you take what you can get. 934 01:15:03,881 --> 01:15:05,542 You turn it into honesty... 935 01:15:05,716 --> 01:15:09,015 ...and promise me I'm never gonna find you fake it. 936 01:15:10,321 --> 01:15:13,347 No. No. 937 01:15:14,158 --> 01:15:15,557 No." 938 01:15:23,835 --> 01:15:26,065 - Oh, thank God. - Roxy? 939 01:15:26,237 --> 01:15:30,003 Well, ladies and gentlemen, that's all the time I have for... So... 940 01:15:30,174 --> 01:15:33,439 ...will the real Jane Ryan please stand up? 941 01:15:38,216 --> 01:15:40,047 Reinaldo! 942 01:15:40,218 --> 01:15:42,083 Trey, what is going on? 943 01:15:43,855 --> 01:15:46,085 Apparently, the dog groomer delivers. 944 01:15:48,359 --> 01:15:49,986 Are you okay? 945 01:15:50,161 --> 01:15:52,254 What are you doing here? 946 01:15:52,430 --> 01:15:55,456 Well, aside from completely humiliating myself... 947 01:15:55,633 --> 01:15:58,124 I'm sorry. I wanted to read the speech for you... 948 01:15:58,302 --> 01:16:02,534 No. Please. Here. I can take it from here. 949 01:16:03,174 --> 01:16:04,766 Are you sure? 950 01:16:06,344 --> 01:16:09,836 Ladies and gentlemen, my name is Jane Ryan. 951 01:16:12,884 --> 01:16:14,613 Roxy, behind you! 952 01:16:14,785 --> 01:16:16,810 Nassau County Department of Truancy. 953 01:16:16,988 --> 01:16:19,456 This girl, Roxanne Ryan, is now in my custody. 954 01:16:19,624 --> 01:16:23,958 And that girl, Jane Ryan, is an accomplice in her criminal activities! 955 01:16:24,128 --> 01:16:26,153 And she stole my stupid ugly mutt too. 956 01:16:26,330 --> 01:16:29,731 I don't know what is going on here, but that "mutt" is mine. 957 01:16:29,901 --> 01:16:31,129 Come here, ugly doggy. 958 01:16:31,302 --> 01:16:34,931 - And I order you to give him back. - Yeah, you and what army, lady? 959 01:16:37,275 --> 01:16:39,038 - Officer! - Me? 960 01:16:39,210 --> 01:16:41,041 Arrest that man! 961 01:16:42,546 --> 01:16:43,808 Yes, ma'am. 962 01:16:43,981 --> 01:16:45,471 Oh, my baby. 963 01:16:46,550 --> 01:16:48,950 Fly. 964 01:16:49,120 --> 01:16:50,382 Every time. 965 01:16:50,688 --> 01:16:54,351 - Hey, that's my mom's dog! - I think it started. 966 01:16:56,661 --> 01:16:58,788 It doesn't look like Cats. 967 01:17:00,531 --> 01:17:01,896 Everybody, freeze. 968 01:17:05,002 --> 01:17:10,030 Someone please explain to me what is going on. 969 01:17:11,309 --> 01:17:14,176 I think I can do that. 970 01:17:14,345 --> 01:17:16,336 See, this guy over here... 971 01:17:16,781 --> 01:17:19,443 ...that man who thinks he's Chinese... You're not. 972 01:17:19,750 --> 01:17:24,380 - And his mother are criminals dealing in pirated music, movies... 973 01:17:24,588 --> 01:17:28,251 ...and probably Gucci handbags. I don't know. 974 01:17:28,659 --> 01:17:30,786 - Probably. - The guy with the eyebrows. 975 01:17:30,962 --> 01:17:36,025 - We know him. He drove us over here. - He didn't tell us he was in the play. 976 01:17:36,200 --> 01:17:38,668 A cop and an actor. 977 01:17:38,836 --> 01:17:41,737 And how, may I ask, did you two get involved in this? 978 01:17:41,906 --> 01:17:45,467 - I think I can shed some light on that. - You see... 979 01:17:45,643 --> 01:17:51,081 ...senator, it was this crime fighter here, Officer Lomax... 980 01:17:51,248 --> 01:17:56,743 ...who tracked down the Bang family and wouldn't rest until justice was served. 981 01:17:56,921 --> 01:18:02,826 So really, we're just witnesses to his sting operation. 982 01:18:03,127 --> 01:18:06,927 - Yeah! What she said. - Is that true, Officer Lomax? 983 01:18:07,131 --> 01:18:09,895 Did you engineer this collar? 984 01:18:11,335 --> 01:18:15,169 Well, I don't want to gloat, senator, but I think "mastermind"... 985 01:18:15,339 --> 01:18:18,536 ...might be a more appropriate choice of words. 986 01:18:18,709 --> 01:18:19,971 I love you. 987 01:18:23,047 --> 01:18:24,878 Just a second. 988 01:18:25,049 --> 01:18:28,951 I assume that wasn't the speech you intended to give this afternoon. 989 01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:31,782 - Not exactly, but... - No. No. It wasn't. 990 01:18:31,956 --> 01:18:34,584 But you should have heard the real one. 991 01:18:34,792 --> 01:18:39,252 It was amazing, and I know this, because I heard her practice it 1000 times. 992 01:18:39,430 --> 01:18:42,399 And trust me, she would have won this thing hands down. 993 01:18:42,833 --> 01:18:46,234 I'm sorry today didn't work out the way you planned. 994 01:18:46,771 --> 01:18:53,040 See, I thought today was about the speech, the fellowship... 995 01:18:53,210 --> 01:18:55,576 ...my academic future. 996 01:18:56,347 --> 01:19:00,875 But instead, it was about something much more important. 997 01:19:02,186 --> 01:19:06,748 It just took me a few wrong turns to see it. 998 01:19:12,997 --> 01:19:17,024 - That was something else, wasn't it? - Honey, I loved it. I loved it! 999 01:19:17,201 --> 01:19:19,897 Yes. You gotta... Come on. 1000 01:19:20,071 --> 01:19:23,234 Gotta give it up for the Cats! 1001 01:19:24,708 --> 01:19:26,642 Who let the cats out? 1002 01:19:26,811 --> 01:19:28,711 Get your hands where I can see them. 1003 01:19:28,879 --> 01:19:31,541 - Who let the cats out? - You're not even a real cop. 1004 01:19:31,715 --> 01:19:33,307 Zip it, Odd Job. 1005 01:19:33,484 --> 01:19:36,214 Thanks to you, that's all gonna change. 1006 01:19:40,858 --> 01:19:42,120 Let me do it. 1007 01:19:47,731 --> 01:19:49,824 - So you're not mad? - Are you kidding? 1008 01:19:50,935 --> 01:19:53,426 I can't believe what you did for me today. 1009 01:19:53,604 --> 01:19:56,164 - Listen... - I want to apologize... 1010 01:19:56,340 --> 01:19:59,104 ...for saying the things I said earlier. It's just... 1011 01:19:59,276 --> 01:20:02,268 ...I was having a meltdown. Everything was going wrong. 1012 01:20:02,513 --> 01:20:05,641 That's because every time I tried to fix it, it got worse. 1013 01:20:05,816 --> 01:20:07,750 The point is... 1014 01:20:08,719 --> 01:20:13,247 ...we haven't spent the day together in a really long time... 1015 01:20:14,291 --> 01:20:16,418 ...and I've really missed you. 1016 01:20:18,095 --> 01:20:20,154 I've missed you too. 1017 01:20:21,765 --> 01:20:25,792 And I'm so, so sorry if I ever made you feel... 1018 01:20:25,970 --> 01:20:29,531 ...like you had to take Mom's place. 1019 01:20:30,608 --> 01:20:32,803 She would have been really proud. 1020 01:20:33,310 --> 01:20:35,335 Both of us. 1021 01:20:53,998 --> 01:20:56,466 It was really great bumping into you today. 1022 01:20:57,301 --> 01:20:59,769 Maybe we could bump again. 1023 01:21:01,438 --> 01:21:04,066 Did I just say that? 1024 01:21:04,275 --> 01:21:05,503 - Yeah. - Yeah. 1025 01:21:05,676 --> 01:21:07,371 And I'm glad you did. 1026 01:21:08,312 --> 01:21:12,578 - So how about you just give me a call? - Okay. 1027 01:21:12,750 --> 01:21:14,547 Yeah. 1028 01:21:15,686 --> 01:21:17,551 Jane Ryan? 1029 01:21:19,356 --> 01:21:20,948 Bye. 1030 01:21:21,492 --> 01:21:22,720 Bye. 1031 01:21:22,893 --> 01:21:26,659 Allow me to introduce myself. My name is Hudson McGill. 1032 01:21:28,132 --> 01:21:31,499 Listen, I am so sorry about everything that happened today... 1033 01:21:31,669 --> 01:21:32,897 You know what? 1034 01:21:33,070 --> 01:21:36,801 I think you handled yourself really well today, considering everything. 1035 01:21:37,775 --> 01:21:40,403 The McGill Foundation would be really honored... 1036 01:21:40,578 --> 01:21:44,708 ...if you would represent us at Oxford University next year. 1037 01:21:46,517 --> 01:21:48,041 But... 1038 01:21:48,219 --> 01:21:51,416 - I don't understand. - I found these. 1039 01:21:51,922 --> 01:21:55,119 This would have been an amazing speech. 1040 01:21:55,593 --> 01:21:57,925 It's not just that you wanted to win... 1041 01:21:58,095 --> 01:22:01,622 ...it's that you absolutely refused to fail. 1042 01:22:01,799 --> 01:22:03,630 And you didn't. 1043 01:22:03,801 --> 01:22:07,828 You deserve this fellowship, Jane. You really do. 1044 01:22:08,005 --> 01:22:12,567 - Congratulations and good luck. - Thank you. 1045 01:22:16,780 --> 01:22:20,739 - Can you believe it? - I'm so happy. 1046 01:22:22,486 --> 01:22:24,147 I don't... 1047 01:22:24,688 --> 01:22:28,419 - Thank you. - No, thank you. 1048 01:22:31,662 --> 01:22:34,859 One, two, three, four! 1049 01:23:06,397 --> 01:23:08,331 - Hey. - Hi. 1050 01:23:08,899 --> 01:23:11,868 So have you given any thought to visiting me in London? 1051 01:23:12,202 --> 01:23:15,171 Yeah. Yeah, I'm not gonna be able to visit you. 1052 01:23:15,339 --> 01:23:18,866 It's not gonna work out for me. Sorry. 1053 01:23:19,043 --> 01:23:22,604 It's okay. I mean, your whole life's here. I get it. 1054 01:23:22,780 --> 01:23:28,047 Jane, I'm playing. I'm moving. I'm actually transferring schools there next year. 1055 01:23:28,218 --> 01:23:30,686 Really? Seriously? 1056 01:23:30,854 --> 01:23:32,515 - Are you excited? - Yeah. 1057 01:23:36,727 --> 01:23:38,786 I've got this great idea for the video. 1058 01:23:38,962 --> 01:23:41,897 It's, like, Roxy, and she's dressed as a cucumber, and... 1059 01:23:42,566 --> 01:23:47,230 Well, maybe I should just be happy that I'm going to London on tour with you guys... 1060 01:23:47,404 --> 01:23:50,430 ...and keep these thoughts to myself. - Agreed. 1061 01:23:55,713 --> 01:23:57,874 Open up! Police! 1062 01:23:58,048 --> 01:23:59,777 Cut it, guys. Cut it. 1063 01:24:15,999 --> 01:24:18,229 Sorry to break up the party here, kids. 1064 01:24:18,769 --> 01:24:23,797 But you see, I got this little VW Bug parked out there in a loading zone. 1065 01:24:24,208 --> 01:24:29,475 License number 2 Quilted Laxative 4 Santa Kansas Limerick. 1066 01:24:31,081 --> 01:24:33,311 Where's Roxanne Ryan? 1067 01:24:33,484 --> 01:24:35,281 You've got to be kidding me. 1068 01:24:36,487 --> 01:24:37,977 I am. 1069 01:24:38,522 --> 01:24:42,356 I just stopped by to wish you bon voyage... 1070 01:24:42,526 --> 01:24:44,653 ...and maybe get an autograph. 1071 01:24:45,295 --> 01:24:48,355 Of course you may, Officer Lomax. 1072 01:24:52,770 --> 01:24:53,998 Thank you, ma'am. 1073 01:24:59,309 --> 01:25:04,679 Hey, lggy Pop, crank the juice on that half stack, and let's hear what this band can do! 1074 01:25:04,882 --> 01:25:07,112 You heard him. Let's roll the guitars. 1075 01:25:07,851 --> 01:25:09,785 Nice work, son. 1076 01:30:44,054 --> 01:30:46,045 [ENGLISH] 82577

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