All language subtitles for Murphy.Brown.S11E12.AWOL.HDTV.x264-SVA

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- www.addic7ed.com -

Just want to be clear,
Major Stansfield,

our source in Afghanistan
says that the Pentagon

has been deliberately inflating
the number of Taliban killed

while under-reporting
the Afghan military

who have deserted or been killed.

- But you're saying...
- I'm saying

this country has never been
safer from terrorists.

We're not talking about this country.

We're talking about Afghanistan.

Are we winning the war?

What we should be talking
about is the importance

of our new sixth branch
of the military...

The Space Force.

Our source in Afghanistan
says that they have evidence

that the Pentagon has
exaggerated the claims

of Taliban containment.

The talks with North
Korea are historic.

Why are you dodging the question?

You know, Ms. Brown,

I don't have to sit here
and be hectored by you.

If you have all the answers,

why don't you just interview yourself?

Put a camera on Murphy.

Stay with her.

The war has been going on for 17 years,

our American men and women killed,

countless civilian lives
lost, and billions

- of dollars spent.
- Seriously?!

Yeah, you just keep dodging, Mr. Major.

- Stay with them!
- This is so cool.

Last time I saw her move that fast,

she was chasing a Mister
Softee truck down K Street.

You're gonna answer my
question if I have to tail you

all the way back to the Pentagon!

Where the hell is the exit?

How are you gonna get
us out of Afghanistan

if you can't even find
your way out of here?

Fall back. Fall back.

I should have gone on "Hannity."

You can't outrun me, buster.

I've got two fake hips. I'm bionic.

Welcome back to "Mark Clark's America."

I'm here at Ricks' Woodworking
in Sioux City, Iowa,

with Aaron Ricks.

Aaron, how excited are you about
the fantastic 10% tax cut

the president is promising
the middle class?

Oh, please! You know what?

If he's gonna steal my
show and my persona

and my beard and my glasses,
at least don't let him spout

propaganda like it's fact.

Fantastic tax cut? Yeah, right.

More like imaginary tax cut.
Am I right?

Can you believe that hack?

How you doing?

You want a Pup-Peroni?

Ooh, remember that trick I taught you?

Touch.

Ah, yes!

Who's the most amazing-est
dog in the world?!

Do it again. Touch.

Yes.

Yes!

Avery, it's tough
enough to get to sleep

at the time most people
are having dinner.

And then you're yelling at the TV,

and Benny's calling for a bellhop.

Oh, sure. Rub it in.

You have somewhere to be tomorrow.

You have a job.

Look, I-I know this is hard.

Leaving the Wolf Network was...

- Stupid? Impulsive? Crazy?
- Of course not.

I mean, Wolf asked you to
read a piece of propaganda

on the air, and you refused.

Showing a little integrity
is never a bad career move.

Well, tell that to my agent.

It's been six weeks, and
the only offer I've gotten

is to co-host a "New
Year's Eve Ball Drop"

with Gilbert Gottfried and Mike Tyson.

This is a temporary situation.
I mean, look at me.

I came back after a
stint at Betty Ford.

Even Tucker Carlson
survived looking like

a trained bear in a bow tie
on "Dancing with the Stars."

You watch "Dancing with the Stars"?

I will watch any show that humiliates

both Tucker Carlson and Rick Perry.

Look, you just need to go
out and keep yourself busy

and, you know... ohh, and
maybe take a shower.

You got to give him the treat now.

He will not be denied.

I know Pavlov's theory.

You would never have made
it to school on time

if I hadn't held a plate of bacon

- under your nose every morning.
- Oh, yeah?

How do you think I trained you
to feed me breakfast in bed?

You watch him, Benny. He's tricky.

Good boy.

I'm looking for Murphy Brown.

Does anyone know where he is?

I'm... him.

Whatevs. I don't know news people.

Who watches TV anymore?

Yeah. I'm guessing
you're my new assistant.

It's Jayden with a "Y."

But, TBH, this is not how I
want to be spending my time.

My parents... ugh! got
on my case to get a job

after they "spent
$200,000" on my degree

in comparative web series.

You were supposed to
be here at 5:00 a.m.

Oh, I thought that was a typo.

No, I can't be here at that hour.

Oh, and FWIW, I have to leave
early for a goat yoga class,

which, if you don't get
there an hour in advance,

all the best goats are taken.

Actually, you can leave now... BYF.

- Huh?
- Because you're fired.

Okay. Awesome!

Hey, who do I talk to about
getting unemployment?

And can you call my
parents and tell them

that it's not my fault? Thank you.

Why does this keep happening to me?

Okay, people, story meeting.
Gather, gather.

Whew! Smells like office in here...

Coffee and printer ink.
How you doing, guys?

- Good!
- Hey!

Avery. What are you doing here?

You know, I was in the neighborhood,

and I just thought I'd pop by, say hey.

We're just starting a story meeting.

It'll be about half an hour.

You could wait up in my office.

Or, you know, I could stay down
here and hang out with you guys.

Oh. Uh, during, uh, our... Our...
our story meeting?

What do you think, Murph?

Well, I... If it's
okay with you, Miles.

Since when do you check with
me to see if something's okay?

I just now started.

Sure, Avery, hang out.

Great! I'm gonna grab a cup of coffee.

So, we are getting a lot of buzz

off of Murphy's confrontation
with Stansfield yesterday,

and we have to follow
up on that quickly.

How solid is your source?

Ahmed Zahir... He's a leading official

with the Afghan intelligence operation.

He's been increasingly disillusioned

by the Pentagon officials
who are misrepresenting

what's actually happening
on the ground.

Murphy says he has all the
documentation she needs.

Wow. Have you seen those documents?

'Cause that's pretty important.

Uh, yeah, well, it... it
it would be important.

I'm trying to reach him to
see if we can get our hands

on the evidence and hopefully
get him on camera.

Ooh, it's not gonna be easy.

I imagine he's really putting
himself in jeopardy, you know?

Right. Right.

Excuse me. Excuse me. Ahh.

- Uh...
- You know...

I hear that all the guysr
in the Afghan military

are going AWOL, like, left and right,

and the Taliban is
surging in new recruits.

- Uh-huh.
- Uh-huh.

So, this is going to be a huge story.

I'm gonna lobby Diana
for an hour of air time

out of our two-hour block.

Of course never easy with her.

But it's another huge story
no one's paying attention to.

Every day, our president
creates another distraction.

There's always another
tweet from the toilet.

You know, if he'd just add a
little more fiber to his diet,

we'd all be a lot happier.

But, you know, this story
could be as big a deal

as the Pentagon Papers
were during Vietnam.

Hey, you know, if you
want, I can get a copy

of Neil Sheehan's book
and do a report on that.

Um, you know, I-I actually
have a copy that Neil gave me.

Oh.

Um, yeah, it was back in...
in the '70s.

We worked together at the Times.

- You got it.
- Yeah. Yeah.

You guys got it covered.

Oh, God, I'm having a flashback
to being 6 years old.

You're about to take
me into your office

and play with Power Rangers
so I'll get out of your hair.

- Aw.
- Don't be silly, "Avey"!

Yeah.

We love your ideas... and enthusiasm.
Don't we, guys?

- Absolutely, yes.
- Wonderful.

- So bright.
- Okay, just...

It's making it worse, all right?

I'm fine. I'm sorry I-I interrupted.

I will let you guys get back to work.

I'll try to get home
early tonight, Avery.

All right. Thank you, Mom.

Geez. I've got stuff I can do.

Ah! Avery Brown.

A little scruffy, but
smart, telegenic, young...

- Just what CNC could use right now.
- Oh, well, I...

Unfortunately, you trashed
your network on the air.

Executives aren't fond
of loose cannons.

You're toxic.

- How tall are you?
- 6'2".

6'2" of Kryptonite. It was
nice talking with you.

Let's do it again in 8 to 10 months.

Murphy, kudos on yesterday's
interview and foot race.

Phenomenal buzz online.

Well, there's a lot more to come.

Diana, we would like to have an hour

for our piece on Afghanistan.

An hour?

I'm sorry. Have I walked into 1979?

We can't do an hour
on anything anymore.

The attention span of the average
viewer is three minutes.

Look, we've got a war that's
been going on for 17 years.

Our government is telling us
we're winning, but we're not.

It's Vietnam all over again,

and this story can be
the Pentagon Papers.

So, I'm having my morning coffee

and my half a piece of dry
toast and three almonds,

and you want me to sit
there for an hour

and listen to a complicated story?

I'm switching over to the "Today" show,

where they're doing a piece
on a 15-foot alligator

terrorizing people on
Trump's golf course.

If it gets us our Afghanistan
story more time,

I'd be happy to do a 'gator piece.

I'm from 'gator territory.

I think 'gator. I speak 'gator.

I even lost my grandma to a 'gator.

Thank you for your sacrifice, Corky.

Diana, we need an expanded
segment on Afghanistan.

Miles, tell her why she's wrong.

Yes, by all means, Silverberg,

come up to my office

and tell me why I'm wrong.

I think you know where my office is.

It's the last door before the exit.

Nothing good ever happens
to me in Diana's office.

The last time I went up against her,

she moved my parking
space to one underneath

the exhaust vent from the P.F.
Chang's downstairs.

Getting into my car was like
getting into a pork dumpling.

You're gonna have a dumpling
in your own exhaust vent

if you don't move it!

I'll go talk to her, Miles,
if you don't want to.

Look, I think one of the reasons
that we butt heads so much

is she's actually attracted to me.

It's kinda textbook.

I'd say kinda delusional.

Same old story men have
been telling themselves

ever since women invented fire.

Hey, Miles? My source in Afghanistan...

He still hasn't texted me back.

Well, how long has it been?

Hours.

He's always good about texting me

at exactly the time we agree on.

Something's not right.

Are you kidding me?

I'm about to go up to
hell's front office

and press for an hour on a
story that hinges entirely

on a source who's disappeared?

If I'm not back in a half an hour,

somebody feed my cats!

And cancel my HBO account.

I'll never know how
"Game of Thrones" ends.

Hey, Phyllis, can I ask you something?

Unless it's "Can I order
the $35 T-bone?", no.

Kinda busy.

Do you think I made a
mistake quitting Wolf?

I mean, the way I did?

You stood up for your principles.

I admire that. Stop waving.

I see you.

Listen, it'll all work out.

Meanwhile, this is not Starbucks,

so order something besides coffee

or move your keister off that stool.

Where is Miguel with the glasses?!

Hello? Am I supposed to
pour the drink myself?

Uh, you know what? What do you need?

Um, S-Scotch, neat.

All right. Scotch.

Okay, here you go. Uh, wait.

I'm being interviewed
by Mueller in an hour.

Make it a double.

Why don't I just leave you the bottle?

How about you guys? You
need a couple of refills?

Sure. Two Pinot Noirs.

All... right. Two Pinot Noirs.

Hey, just wondering...
Do you have an opinion

on that caravan that's coming
up from Central America?

Sorry, buddy, we're just
here to enjoy our lunch.

Oh, sure, sure, sure. But,
you know, I'm just curious.

I mean, do you have an opinion at all

on the president's
immigration policies?

Hey, aren't you the guy who went
bonkers on the Wolf Network?

I didn't go bonkers. I
was making a point.

Yeah, well, now you're
making minimum wage.

I don't work here, all right?
I'm just helping out.

Yeah, and I'm happily married.

I just choose to sleep on the couch.

Can I get a coffee to go?

Oh, dude, you're working
as a busboy now?

That is harsh.

No, no, no. Phyllis is
in the back, all right?

It got busy. I'm just helping out.

Hey, you know, we've all been there.

Three months ago, I was unemployed,

sharing a one-bath apartment
with six other dudes.

It was brutal.

There was so much hair on the soap.

Look at me now, though.
I'm employed, insured.

I'm paying off my student loans.

Only 19 more years,

and I'll be off my
mom's cellphone plan.

Congrats. Come on, man.

You'll land on your feet. You're young.

What are you, 24, 25?

I'm almost 29.

Oh.

Wow.

Staring down the barrel of 30
and not even a waiter yet.

Okay, I don't work here.

Keep the change.

What is this, a $10? I
don't need a handout.

It's not a handout, champ.

It's a hand up.

Yo, Avery, what are you
doing behind the bar?

Oh, no, Pat needed a coffee, and, uh...

I-I don't know... I don't
have anything to do.

I guess I'm a little depressed.

Oh, yeah. Yo, I get that.

Yeah?

And here I was feeling sorry for myself

because my parents were deported.

I'm living over a bar with Phyllis,

who snores like a freight train

because she has a deviated septum.

But by all means, tell
me more about how

you blew your shot at your
own prime-time TV show.

Did I tell you my dog has wheels?

- Yes.
- Okay.

Just gonna go sit over there.

I don't know, Miles!
He's just evaporated.

I mean, he's an informant.

He probably thinks people are onto him.

He's gone underground.

Six feet under is where I'm gonna be

if we don't get this
story back on track.

I got us the hour, but I
had to buy four tickets

for a play Diana's niece is doing...

"The Vagina Monologues."

Her niece is 12.

It's just gonna be very uncomfortable.

Oh, look, there's Avery! Again.

I think he feels bad about crashing

our story meeting this morning.

We should invite him over here.

Oh, for God's sake, how
long before one of you

pretends to be trapped
in an invisible box?

Get your ass over here.

All right. Hey, guys.
Listen, I'm sorry.

I promise that I will not

stick my nose into your story again.

Well, there may not be a story.

My source has gone dark.

You're kidding. Wow.

Do you have any more resources that...

Crap. I'm doing it again.

Well, you mean resources to track him?

20 years ago, we would
have, but nowadays,

we mostly have to
depend on freelancers.

Back then, all the networks had
bureaus all over the world,

staffed with reporters
who knew the territory

and had Rolodexes just
filled with contacts.

When I came on, they
had just moved news

into the entertainment division.

Those bureaus weren't
"cost-effective" anymore.

Yeah, that's right.

Listen, when CBS sent
Cronkite to Vietnam,

it changed the course of the war.

He came back, went on the air
in front of 40 million people,

and told the country we were losing.

LBJ heard that.

He said, "Look, if I've lost Cronkite,

I've lost Middle America," and
that started the pullout.

That's the kind of impact
a journalist can have.

This story could have
that kind of impact,

but now we have to do
it all long-distance

with cellphones and computers.

God, I miss the old days.

That's when a reporter
made their bones.

You'd pack in 10 minutes,

hop on a flight to God knows where.

Your adrenalin was always pumping.

And then there was the camaraderie.

I mean, you could be in some
crazy, dangerous place,

but still, you bonded together.

You found the right bar.

And you shared information.

You guys make it sound so exciting...

except the "10 minutes to pack" part.

I have never been able to pack
in under a day and a half.

I need a minimum of three bags.

I lay my clothes out the night before.

I put tissue paper between the
layers to avoid wrinkling.

Honest to God, I see
Christiane Amanpour

in some strange part of the world,

and I just want to take a
portable steamer to her.

I feel bad for the young
journalists coming up.

They will never know what
it's like to be shoved

into the back of a van blindfolded

and driven to an undisclosed location.

Oh, yeah.

- Good times.
- That was fun.

Ah. Well, you guys, you
know, I could stay here

and listen to this stuff all day long,

but I have a dog at home
that I need to go walk.

So, thanks for letting me hang out.

- I will see you later.
- Mm-hmm.

- See, you buddy.
- Bye, Avery.

Take care, man.

Hey, uh, Phyllis, can we
get some menus, please?

Let me ask you something.

What the hell do you need a menu for?

It hasn't changed in 40 years.

Figure out whatever the hell you want,

and I will give you
whatever the hell I got.

Coming!

What do you want now?

Another Snausage?

How many have you had?

Okay. This is the last one.

I said I don't have any more!

This is just abusive.

Here's a piece of cheese.

But you have to chew it... like this.

This is pretty good. What
am I wasting it on you for?

Avery! It's 8:00!

You want to grab a burger with me?

Probably has his ear buds in.

Avery?

I can come back if you're
doing something private.

Well, if I were, you would
have killed the mood.

Come on in.

I didn't mean to be dismissive before.

I know it's hard when you're...

Oh, you're packing.

You're going somewhere. Are
you gonna visit friends?

That's a great idea. Take
your mind off things.

Where are you going?

Afghanistan.

Well, who needs Fort Lauderdale
when you've got Kandahar?

No, really. Where are you going?

I'm not kidding.

You need someone to find your source,

and I need something to make me
feel like a journalist again.

Well, you don't have
to go to Afghanistan

to feel like a journalist.

There are tons of stories here.

And tons of journalists to do them.

Look, you know, a lot of people
think that this war is over.

That's how little attention
it's getting lately.

But if your story makes it to air,

the truth will come out.

This is crazy.

You're walking into one of
the most dangerous places

in the world with no support system,

no network resources, no connections.

I had a pretty busy few hours.

I got a visa through the consulate.

I made contact with the
Kabul chief of police

to get updates on what roads are safe.

I got a contact number for
the malik just in case

I need help, got a
translator, got a driver.

I researched the nearby airstrips

just in case I need to get evacuated.

I don't know how you guys ever did this

without cellphones and the Internet.

That's it. I am suspending
your computer privileges.

Mom...

Avery, you can't do this.

Well, tell me you wouldn't have done

the same thing when you were my age.

Well, this is different.

Why? Because you're my son.

I promise I will be careful, okay?

I will call you every day to check in

to let you know that I am safe.

But I need to do this.

What... What about the dog?

You can't leave me with him.

I just stole cheese from him.

There's no end to what I'm capable of.

I think you'll both be okay.

And so will I.

You said it yourself... I'm your son.

Bye, Benny Brown. You
take care of her, okay?

And if she forgets to feed
you, you just chew on her leg.

It worked for me.

Avery...

I know.

I love you, too.

Tell me about it.

- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -