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1
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:12,074
Everyone is intimidated by a shark. Become
a Card Shark AMERICASCARDROOM.COM
2
00:01:16,166 --> 00:01:17,963
Last week
on Married... With Children.
3
00:01:18,166 --> 00:01:20,885
The Bundys thought they won
a free trip to England.
4
00:01:21,086 --> 00:01:24,362
Whoa, England!
5
00:01:24,566 --> 00:01:27,000
And the D 'Arcys
decided to go along.
6
00:01:27,206 --> 00:01:28,878
But there's a catch for the Bundys...
7
00:01:29,086 --> 00:01:32,635
...an ancient English curse
that dates back to 1653.
8
00:01:32,846 --> 00:01:35,724
And so that ye
and all your male descendants...
9
00:01:35,926 --> 00:01:39,202
...will be hated
in this place forever...
10
00:01:39,406 --> 00:01:44,036
...Lower Uncton
shall always be in darkness.
11
00:01:44,246 --> 00:01:46,202
The only way the curse
can be lifted...
12
00:01:46,406 --> 00:01:49,762
...is if Al and Bud are killed within
the town limits of Lower Uncton.
13
00:01:49,966 --> 00:01:52,036
That is the job of these two men.
14
00:01:52,406 --> 00:01:54,397
But if Lower Uncton
gets the sun back...
15
00:01:54,606 --> 00:01:57,803
...the neighbouring town of Upper
Uncton will lose their tourist trade.
16
00:01:58,006 --> 00:02:01,635
So these two men
have to kill the Bundys in London.
17
00:02:01,846 --> 00:02:04,041
And these two
want to kill the Bundys anywhere...
18
00:02:04,246 --> 00:02:06,680
...since they drove off
with their luggage and money.
19
00:02:07,086 --> 00:02:10,635
They have only one friend,
the dog they left behind.
20
00:02:10,846 --> 00:02:15,636
I don't care who kills them,
as long as they come back in a box.
21
00:02:15,846 --> 00:02:18,280
And now Married... With Children
continues.
22
00:02:21,566 --> 00:02:23,557
Boy, is that good.
23
00:02:29,486 --> 00:02:31,124
Gentlefolk?
24
00:02:32,766 --> 00:02:35,644
Listen, when we said
"all expenses paid"...
25
00:02:35,846 --> 00:02:39,555
...we didn't really mean
a river suite at the Savoy.
26
00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:44,004
I'll have you know, sir, that we are
accustomed to the finer things in life.
27
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:47,243
- Mom, what's this?
- It's a fork, honey.
28
00:02:47,446 --> 00:02:49,562
Oh, cool.
29
00:02:56,286 --> 00:03:01,280
I guess somebody should have
told that toilet the Yanks were coming.
30
00:03:03,686 --> 00:03:06,564
You know, family, Salem here...
31
00:03:06,766 --> 00:03:11,794
- Winston. The name is Winston.
- Like it matters.
32
00:03:12,006 --> 00:03:15,885
Anyhow, we are guests
in his lovely little country...
33
00:03:16,086 --> 00:03:17,678
...and since he is paying the tab...
34
00:03:17,886 --> 00:03:20,958
...let's go easy on the guy
and curb our expenses.
35
00:03:21,166 --> 00:03:23,680
Thank you very much,
young philistine.
36
00:03:29,246 --> 00:03:32,397
You know, honey, except for the fact
that you and the kids are here...
37
00:03:32,606 --> 00:03:34,961
...this is like a second honeymoon.
38
00:03:35,166 --> 00:03:38,203
Come look at the view with me,
sweetheart.
39
00:03:40,606 --> 00:03:44,121
There is something so infectious
about this country.
40
00:03:44,326 --> 00:03:48,160
I can just feel the class
rubbing off on us.
41
00:04:04,286 --> 00:04:05,639
Hey.
42
00:04:06,046 --> 00:04:08,037
It's a vegetable.
43
00:04:15,366 --> 00:04:20,315
Listen, you like rolls, do you? Or what
do you folks call them, "humma"?
44
00:04:20,526 --> 00:04:25,316
Is that it? Listen, Lower Uncton
is the home of humma.
45
00:04:25,566 --> 00:04:27,636
Who's with me? Yeah?
46
00:04:30,566 --> 00:04:31,635
Hey, now.
47
00:04:31,886 --> 00:04:35,481
All right, Bundys, you're dead.
48
00:04:37,726 --> 00:04:38,875
What?
49
00:04:43,046 --> 00:04:46,243
- Room service.
- Well, we didn't order anything.
50
00:04:46,486 --> 00:04:48,681
This is compliments of the house...
51
00:04:48,886 --> 00:04:51,764
...for spending L5000 in one day.
52
00:04:53,726 --> 00:04:57,605
This is a delicate French dessert
called A-bomb.
53
00:05:02,126 --> 00:05:06,961
You must eat it very slowly,
particularly the males.
54
00:05:15,446 --> 00:05:17,721
The Savoy. At last,
we found the Bundys.
55
00:05:17,926 --> 00:05:20,838
Now we can get our luggage
and our money and enjoy the trip.
56
00:05:21,046 --> 00:05:22,240
Yeah, come on!
57
00:05:24,526 --> 00:05:27,120
Here you go, my good man.
58
00:05:49,126 --> 00:05:51,560
So once again,
I'd just like to thank you...
59
00:05:51,766 --> 00:05:55,520
...for being so very, very careful
amongst all these valuable antiques.
60
00:05:55,766 --> 00:05:58,041
Hey, look here, kids,
my hand is stuck in a vase.
61
00:05:58,286 --> 00:06:02,438
Oh, my hand's stuck in the vase.
Help me, help me... Just kidding.
62
00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:09,080
Hey, hey. Look, here's a place
we haven't been yet:
63
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:12,358
"The London Dungeons."
I wanna see something scary.
64
00:06:12,566 --> 00:06:14,796
Well, then take a look at this.
65
00:06:16,886 --> 00:06:18,205
Hey, Menthol...
66
00:06:20,246 --> 00:06:22,965
...where in this burg
can a man get a copy of Big 'Uns?
67
00:06:23,926 --> 00:06:25,757
Big 'Uns?
68
00:06:27,726 --> 00:06:33,119
Yes, well, in this country we call them
booby rags.
69
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,759
There you go.
70
00:06:38,526 --> 00:06:40,403
Well, let's go see some sights.
71
00:06:40,606 --> 00:06:44,076
But first, since we have to get
some gifts for the people back home...
72
00:06:44,286 --> 00:06:47,278
...everybody loot
something valuable.
73
00:06:48,686 --> 00:06:51,883
Let's go, come on. Oh, I like this.
74
00:07:31,126 --> 00:07:33,196
Killed a fish, let's go.
75
00:08:03,606 --> 00:08:06,325
We're just Americans.
Why'd they run?
76
00:08:06,526 --> 00:08:10,155
They must have been French.
Takes so little.
77
00:08:24,646 --> 00:08:27,956
Hey, it's Jack the Ripper.
78
00:08:28,926 --> 00:08:30,723
I think it's moving.
79
00:08:30,926 --> 00:08:34,555
Of course he's moving, Kel,
he sees a harlot.
80
00:08:36,086 --> 00:08:38,725
Daddy, I think the statue's moving.
81
00:08:39,446 --> 00:08:43,598
No, it's not. Now, don't be scared.
Here, watch this.
82
00:08:48,046 --> 00:08:51,800
See that? If it were alive,
I would have just broken its neck.
83
00:08:52,006 --> 00:08:54,076
No man could have taken that
without screaming.
84
00:08:54,286 --> 00:08:56,163
Come on, pumpkin, let's go.
85
00:09:01,526 --> 00:09:04,757
I'm bored. Let's go spend
some more of Winston's money.
86
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,604
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
87
00:11:51,886 --> 00:11:55,117
Excuse me, sir,
that will be L5000, please.
88
00:11:55,326 --> 00:11:57,556
- For the...
- I didn't forget to pay, did I?
89
00:11:57,766 --> 00:11:59,802
- Easily done, sir. Easily done.
- Sorry. Right.
90
00:12:00,006 --> 00:12:02,361
Where's that L5000 then?
Got it here somewhere.
91
00:12:02,566 --> 00:12:05,160
- Here's the money from the village.
- Brilliant. Well done.
92
00:12:05,366 --> 00:12:07,926
- Where did you get the money?
- We sold your farm.
93
00:12:08,126 --> 00:12:09,878
You what?!
94
00:12:10,966 --> 00:12:13,924
We're ready to go
to Lower Uncton now.
95
00:12:20,446 --> 00:12:24,962
Well, mole-boy, "arevadouche."
Here's where I leave you.
96
00:12:25,166 --> 00:12:27,839
What are you talking about?
We're going to Lower Uncton now.
97
00:12:28,046 --> 00:12:30,640
Not me. I didn't come all this way
to spend my vacation...
98
00:12:30,846 --> 00:12:35,362
...in a one-whore town. I'm a city girl,
and I'm staying right here in...
99
00:12:35,566 --> 00:12:38,000
Wait, where are we?
100
00:12:38,206 --> 00:12:40,083
- London.
- Exactly.
101
00:12:40,286 --> 00:12:42,800
And you don't think Mom and Dad
will notice you're gone?
102
00:12:43,006 --> 00:12:45,964
Nope, it's all been taken care of.
103
00:12:52,126 --> 00:12:54,720
Well, pumpkin, what do you
think of London now, huh?
104
00:12:54,926 --> 00:12:57,042
Good, good.
105
00:13:20,286 --> 00:13:24,040
Here we are.
This is where you'll be staying.
106
00:13:29,126 --> 00:13:31,515
Our own castle.
107
00:13:32,006 --> 00:13:34,759
Isn't it awfully dark for noon?
108
00:13:35,246 --> 00:13:37,714
No, not for England.
109
00:13:37,926 --> 00:13:42,920
Oh, Al, our own castle.
It's just like out of a storybook.
110
00:13:43,126 --> 00:13:45,560
- Isn't it romantic?
- Yeah, sure, babe.
111
00:13:46,126 --> 00:13:50,438
Listen, Smokey,
I want separate rooms...
112
00:13:50,646 --> 00:13:54,116
...and I'd like a guard
outside of mine, please.
113
00:13:54,326 --> 00:13:58,922
Don't worry, sir, we know
exactly where to put you.
114
00:14:01,646 --> 00:14:06,117
- You hear that, kids?
- We hear you, Dad. Right, Kel?
115
00:14:07,246 --> 00:14:08,804
I sure hope this place is heated...
116
00:14:09,006 --> 00:14:12,840
...because it'd be a damn shame to
come all this way to catch our deaths.
117
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,158
You get it?
118
00:14:17,846 --> 00:14:20,235
Follow me, please,
and I'll show you to your quarters.
119
00:14:20,446 --> 00:14:21,674
Let's go, kids.
120
00:14:21,886 --> 00:14:25,765
- AI, have you seen Kelly?
- Bud's carrying her.
121
00:14:28,886 --> 00:14:31,798
Bad news.
We can't hang them until tomorrow.
122
00:14:32,006 --> 00:14:34,315
- Why not?
- The scaffolding's not here.
123
00:14:34,526 --> 00:14:37,882
We had to sell some of the wood
to buy nooses.
124
00:14:38,126 --> 00:14:42,961
Oh, yes. And what do you plan
to hang the nooses from?
125
00:14:43,166 --> 00:14:44,918
Well, we've thought of that.
126
00:14:45,126 --> 00:14:48,436
We're gonna have two
of our taller fellas hold them.
127
00:14:51,006 --> 00:14:54,476
I don't wanna hear any more. Right,
we're just gonna have to stab them.
128
00:14:54,726 --> 00:14:57,684
But the village children
were so looking forward to a hanging.
129
00:14:57,926 --> 00:15:02,397
Oh, yes. Oh, yes. Oh, the children.
130
00:15:03,366 --> 00:15:05,675
I think I'll buy one.
131
00:15:05,886 --> 00:15:07,683
What is this thing, Dad?
132
00:15:07,926 --> 00:15:11,043
Well, son, this being England and all,
I believe it's...
133
00:15:11,246 --> 00:15:13,999
And correct me if I'm wrong, lgor.
134
00:15:14,926 --> 00:15:17,315
- Stonehenge.
135
00:15:19,046 --> 00:15:21,640
Blimey, you nearly had it there, sir.
136
00:15:21,846 --> 00:15:25,759
Actually, this is the speaker's podium
for the festival tomorrow...
137
00:15:25,966 --> 00:15:31,324
...at which you and your son
will be our honoured guests.
138
00:15:31,526 --> 00:15:33,118
You see that, son...
139
00:15:33,326 --> 00:15:37,001
...even the English know
that men are better.
140
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,164
Yes, right this way, please.
141
00:15:43,326 --> 00:15:47,877
You know, I feel right at home here.
I think I could stay here forever.
142
00:15:48,086 --> 00:15:50,042
Me too, Dad.
143
00:16:12,166 --> 00:16:18,355
You know, Al, since we're in a castle,
crown me, baby.
144
00:16:18,566 --> 00:16:21,797
What the hell, it's the first thing
I had to pay for the whole trip.
145
00:16:22,006 --> 00:16:24,474
All right, Peg, go ahead and say it.
146
00:16:24,686 --> 00:16:28,599
- What am I, baby?
- You're the king, baby.
147
00:16:28,806 --> 00:16:33,004
- Make me believe it.
- Well, who's gonna make me believe it?
148
00:16:33,206 --> 00:16:35,083
Oh, all right.
149
00:16:35,286 --> 00:16:38,642
You're the king, baby.
150
00:16:38,846 --> 00:16:40,723
Good enough.
151
00:16:44,806 --> 00:16:48,515
Excuse me. Some of the area children
would like to have...
152
00:16:48,726 --> 00:16:51,604
...their pictures taken with you.
- With me?
153
00:16:51,806 --> 00:16:55,719
But I'm just a regular joe
that played high school football...
154
00:16:55,926 --> 00:16:57,996
...scored four touchdowns
in one game.
155
00:16:58,206 --> 00:17:01,243
Last city championship
Polk High ever won.
156
00:17:01,446 --> 00:17:04,722
I understand.
Bring those starstruck young'uns in.
157
00:17:10,006 --> 00:17:11,519
Come on, kid.
158
00:17:13,246 --> 00:17:16,955
There we go.
See how they love me, Peg?
159
00:17:17,166 --> 00:17:19,396
Say your prayers.
160
00:17:21,206 --> 00:17:23,242
All right, out we go. Come on.
161
00:17:23,486 --> 00:17:25,317
There we go.
162
00:17:29,006 --> 00:17:31,804
You see, Peg,
you gotta give something back.
163
00:17:32,846 --> 00:17:35,314
Can you feel the history
in the room, Peg?
164
00:17:35,526 --> 00:17:36,754
Oh, I know.
165
00:17:36,966 --> 00:17:40,925
You know, lgor was telling me
that they say Bud's room is haunted.
166
00:17:41,126 --> 00:17:43,481
I didn't tell him, though.
You know how jumpy he is.
167
00:17:43,686 --> 00:17:46,439
Well, good, because what he
doesn't know won't hurt him.
168
00:17:53,566 --> 00:17:59,243
Good evening, Bud.
We are the ghosts of your ancestors.
169
00:17:59,446 --> 00:18:04,474
- Beware.
- You will die in the morning.
170
00:18:04,726 --> 00:18:06,159
Run.
171
00:18:09,086 --> 00:18:14,001
- Run while you still can!
- Wanna buy some shoes?
172
00:18:18,126 --> 00:18:20,242
Just a moment, gentlemen.
173
00:18:22,966 --> 00:18:25,844
Hey, how come only you
get to eat the candy bar?
174
00:18:26,046 --> 00:18:27,274
I was the one who found it.
175
00:18:27,486 --> 00:18:30,558
Yeah, well, I'm the one who pointed out
the baby who was holding it.
176
00:18:30,766 --> 00:18:34,281
Well, maybe next time you'll have
the guts to do something about it.
177
00:18:39,606 --> 00:18:41,961
Well, at least we'll be warm tonight.
178
00:18:42,166 --> 00:18:43,599
Warm and entertained...
179
00:18:43,806 --> 00:18:46,957
...thanks to these free theatre tickets
those nice people gave us...
180
00:18:47,166 --> 00:18:50,238
...instead of food or money
or lodgings.
181
00:18:50,446 --> 00:18:52,357
Hey, I've never heard
of this show before.
182
00:18:52,566 --> 00:18:55,444
They say it's the longest-running show
in London's history.
183
00:18:55,646 --> 00:18:58,956
Tickets, please. Thank you.
184
00:19:06,886 --> 00:19:09,525
Bad Americans.
185
00:19:10,806 --> 00:19:13,684
Must be Shakespeare.
Taming of the Shrew, I believe.
186
00:19:14,526 --> 00:19:16,960
Would you like a drink
or a spanking?
187
00:19:35,606 --> 00:19:38,325
They say there's a girl in there
with the prince.
188
00:19:40,846 --> 00:19:42,404
Miss?
189
00:19:45,446 --> 00:19:48,119
- Hey!
- You're not allowed to wear it out there.
190
00:19:48,326 --> 00:19:50,521
Only with me.
191
00:19:51,406 --> 00:19:54,523
Miss, there's a gentleman
wishes to speak with you.
192
00:19:54,926 --> 00:19:57,394
Well, I'm kind of busy
with the prince.
193
00:19:57,646 --> 00:20:00,638
Well, he says it's about your family.
194
00:20:02,686 --> 00:20:04,995
I never should have had parents.
195
00:20:22,446 --> 00:20:25,199
Miss Bundy,
I felt I should warn you...
196
00:20:25,406 --> 00:20:28,637
...about a dastardly plot
against your family.
197
00:20:31,486 --> 00:20:35,559
- "Dastardly," "dastardly."
- It means "bad."
198
00:20:35,766 --> 00:20:37,882
"Real bad thing."
199
00:20:38,086 --> 00:20:40,475
"Family go bye-bye"?
200
00:20:43,366 --> 00:20:46,164
You must get them out
of Lower Uncton before sunrise...
201
00:20:46,366 --> 00:20:49,642
...or a terrible fate will befall them.
202
00:20:49,846 --> 00:20:54,158
- "Befall them."
- They will die.
203
00:20:55,926 --> 00:20:59,965
Then I must run like the stocking.
How can I thank you, kind stranger?
204
00:21:00,166 --> 00:21:03,317
By bringing your family
to Upper Uncton.
205
00:21:03,526 --> 00:21:06,120
You don't have to tell me twice.
206
00:21:07,886 --> 00:21:09,160
Where?
207
00:21:09,926 --> 00:21:12,565
Upper Uncton.
208
00:22:08,966 --> 00:22:13,721
Will Kelly ever find her family?
Will the male Bundys survive?
209
00:22:13,926 --> 00:22:16,963
Was Brooklyn Bridge
really worthy of an Emmy?
210
00:22:18,366 --> 00:22:22,962
We'll answer two of these questions
next week on Married... With Children.
211
00:22:23,305 --> 00:22:29,407
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