Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,118 --> 00:00:04,061
Kids, in the fall of 2008,
I've had a little problem.
2
00:00:04,161 --> 00:00:06,547
All right, I got to get to Stella's.
3
00:00:07,531 --> 00:00:10,095
Tonight's the night guys, I've tried it
before, I've failed every time.
4
00:00:10,195 --> 00:00:13,288
This time, I'm gonna do it.
Tonight...
5
00:00:14,363 --> 00:00:15,828
I pick up a lesbian.
6
00:00:17,819 --> 00:00:18,643
Robin,
7
00:00:18,918 --> 00:00:20,383
I need your lipstick.
8
00:00:20,646 --> 00:00:21,766
Oh, man!
9
00:00:22,843 --> 00:00:24,262
Take pictures, all right?
10
00:00:24,362 --> 00:00:25,247
Bye Ted.
11
00:00:27,306 --> 00:00:28,760
I lived in New York,
12
00:00:29,755 --> 00:00:31,953
but Stella lived accross the river...
13
00:00:32,053 --> 00:00:33,235
in New Jersey.
14
00:00:34,780 --> 00:00:36,016
Oh, man!
15
00:00:38,648 --> 00:00:40,720
Which meant,
I was always taking the train.
16
00:00:40,782 --> 00:00:41,931
What's up, Ted?
17
00:00:42,031 --> 00:00:43,405
Hey Matisse.
18
00:00:45,676 --> 00:00:47,232
Hey, T-diddy!
You missed it!
19
00:00:47,332 --> 00:00:48,981
Robin got that national anchor job!
20
00:00:49,081 --> 00:00:50,659
And we got
a free bottle of champagne!
21
00:00:50,859 --> 00:00:52,327
But it's empty now.
22
00:00:52,969 --> 00:00:54,077
Oh, man !
23
00:00:54,590 --> 00:00:57,630
And as a result, it seamed like
I was missing out on everything.
24
00:00:59,030 --> 00:01:01,002
Sorry we couldn't wait.
It was getting cold.
25
00:01:01,268 --> 00:01:02,290
Oh, man !
26
00:01:02,454 --> 00:01:04,172
- Hey big guy!
- What's up, G?
27
00:01:05,241 --> 00:01:06,286
Are you okay?
28
00:01:06,386 --> 00:01:07,570
Yeah, I'm fine, it's just...
29
00:01:07,612 --> 00:01:09,421
you know I want to
hang out with you guys,
30
00:01:09,521 --> 00:01:10,598
I want to hang out with my friends.
31
00:01:10,611 --> 00:01:12,818
It just feel like I'm spending
all my time on the train.
32
00:01:13,433 --> 00:01:16,881
Okay, how about this? Why don't you ask
your friends to come up here sometime?
33
00:01:16,981 --> 00:01:18,395
That's a great idea!
34
00:01:18,756 --> 00:01:21,398
You want us to go to New Jersey?
Oh, that is rich.
35
00:01:21,808 --> 00:01:22,512
Why?
36
00:01:22,612 --> 00:01:26,328
Well, for starters, I don't have any
of my gold medaillons anymore.
37
00:01:26,428 --> 00:01:29,648
I sold them when they went out
of style, 400 years ago.
38
00:01:30,644 --> 00:01:32,597
- Lily?
- Oh, sorry, Ted.
39
00:01:32,697 --> 00:01:34,244
I'm a born and raised New Yorker.
40
00:01:34,444 --> 00:01:36,343
I'm programmed to despise and loathe
41
00:01:36,443 --> 00:01:38,418
New Jersey and
all that it stands for.
42
00:01:38,518 --> 00:01:39,873
Why am I telling you this?
43
00:01:39,973 --> 00:01:41,676
You hate New Jersey
more than anyone.
44
00:01:41,864 --> 00:01:44,512
What? I don't hate New Jersey!
Why would you think that?
45
00:01:44,972 --> 00:01:47,977
And then he cut in front of me!
God, I hate line cutters
46
00:01:48,077 --> 00:01:50,093
more than I hate...
New Jersey.
47
00:01:51,051 --> 00:01:51,835
Well that's not true,
48
00:01:51,935 --> 00:01:54,430
there's nothing I hate more
than New Jersey.
49
00:01:59,700 --> 00:02:00,655
Nice ?
50
00:02:02,759 --> 00:02:04,224
Hey, you want us to wait for you ?
51
00:02:04,324 --> 00:02:08,186
No, it might be awhile,
I got a drop a massive New Jersey.
52
00:02:08,816 --> 00:02:11,642
Okay, so New Jersey's
not my favourite place
53
00:02:11,742 --> 00:02:13,152
but once Stella
and I get married,
54
00:02:13,187 --> 00:02:14,750
and she and Lucy
move in with me,
55
00:02:14,850 --> 00:02:16,957
I'll never set foot
in New Jersey again.
56
00:02:17,057 --> 00:02:18,797
Unless I'm going to see
a Giants game or,
57
00:02:18,897 --> 00:02:20,421
flying down at Newark, or,
58
00:02:20,521 --> 00:02:22,667
God forbid, disposing of a body.
59
00:02:22,984 --> 00:02:25,876
Ted, if you murder me,
and bury me in New Jersey
60
00:02:25,976 --> 00:02:27,829
I'll haunt you for ever.
61
00:02:28,175 --> 00:02:30,241
But if I murder you and
bury you in somewhere else ?
62
00:02:30,804 --> 00:02:33,615
I'll leave you alone.
I'm sure you had your reasons.
63
00:02:34,283 --> 00:02:37,428
Traduction : MiniBen314,
Eomyn, Kabaka, Spiff94 et Lino72
64
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:39,203
Synchro : Mickeyte et MiniBen314
65
00:02:39,316 --> 00:02:41,579
Relecture : MiniBen314
Transcript : www.shooter.cn
66
00:02:41,654 --> 00:02:44,837
How I Met Your Mother
4x03 - I Heart NJ
67
00:02:44,893 --> 00:02:47,034
par la "Have You Met Team"
pour www.forom.com
68
00:02:49,742 --> 00:02:52,977
Kids, your aunt Robin was sick
of her job in Metro News One.
69
00:02:53,293 --> 00:02:54,993
She was sick
of the low production value.
70
00:02:55,113 --> 00:02:57,641
I'm Robin Scherbatsky
and your watching...
71
00:02:59,476 --> 00:03:01,355
Etro News One at 11:00...
72
00:03:03,491 --> 00:03:04,860
and again at 1:00.
73
00:03:06,064 --> 00:03:07,809
Sick of the stories
she had to report...
74
00:03:08,004 --> 00:03:09,945
So hurry up and get your votes in...
75
00:03:10,125 --> 00:03:12,548
for New York's cutest doggie.
76
00:03:14,037 --> 00:03:14,789
And most of all,
77
00:03:14,924 --> 00:03:16,718
she was sick of all
the stupids puns.
78
00:03:16,871 --> 00:03:18,749
Four transit workers
were electrocuted
79
00:03:18,853 --> 00:03:20,900
when a subway train
jumped the tracks.
80
00:03:21,176 --> 00:03:22,533
Stay tuned for the...
81
00:03:23,061 --> 00:03:24,715
shocking derails.
82
00:03:25,090 --> 00:03:26,979
Joel, people died.
83
00:03:28,903 --> 00:03:30,134
So when the call came in
84
00:03:30,193 --> 00:03:32,105
that she got
the big national anchor job,
85
00:03:32,222 --> 00:03:33,784
she finally got to say the words
86
00:03:33,827 --> 00:03:35,621
she'd been dreaming of saying
for years...
87
00:03:35,926 --> 00:03:37,862
Tonight will be my last broadcast.
88
00:03:38,155 --> 00:03:41,076
I came to Metro News One as a
little caterpillar,
89
00:03:41,393 --> 00:03:42,692
and for four years,
90
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:45,319
this desk has been my cocoon,
91
00:03:46,082 --> 00:03:48,510
but tonight,
I emerge,
92
00:03:48,897 --> 00:03:50,645
an ambitious butterfly.
93
00:03:50,914 --> 00:03:53,280
Why does she sound like an idiot?
Did she have a stroke?
94
00:03:53,432 --> 00:03:55,743
Yeah, a stroke of genius.
95
00:03:55,950 --> 00:03:58,003
This speech is really good.
96
00:03:59,294 --> 00:04:01,276
With one eye on the horizon,
97
00:04:01,769 --> 00:04:03,294
one eye on the truth,
98
00:04:03,774 --> 00:04:06,343
and one eye,
on all of you.
99
00:04:07,446 --> 00:04:09,308
You wrote it for her,
didn't you?
100
00:04:10,164 --> 00:04:11,630
It's a modified version of the...
101
00:04:11,830 --> 00:04:13,671
speech I gave when I had to leave
the swim team because
102
00:04:13,765 --> 00:04:15,396
of the chronic inner ear situation.
103
00:04:15,865 --> 00:04:16,846
I thought you were the towel-boy.
104
00:04:16,975 --> 00:04:18,594
It's part of the team!
105
00:04:19,403 --> 00:04:20,189
So that saturday,
106
00:04:20,272 --> 00:04:22,594
as Robin went off for her first day
at her new job,
107
00:04:22,723 --> 00:04:23,931
we're all headed accross the river
108
00:04:24,002 --> 00:04:26,758
to experience some of
that crazy New Jersey night life.
109
00:04:26,981 --> 00:04:30,423
Okay, Stella couldn't find a sitter,
so we can't go out. Instead,
110
00:04:30,623 --> 00:04:32,664
we're all gonna hang out here,
111
00:04:32,758 --> 00:04:34,165
and it's gonna be just as awesome.
112
00:04:34,224 --> 00:04:36,605
Right? We got board games,
we got movies,
113
00:04:36,711 --> 00:04:39,722
and I think there may be some beer,
out in the garage.
114
00:04:42,948 --> 00:04:44,121
Ted, this is pathetic!
115
00:04:44,227 --> 00:04:45,810
It's saturday night,
we should be out at the bar,
116
00:04:45,881 --> 00:04:46,725
drinking alcohol!
117
00:04:46,831 --> 00:04:48,953
Now, I know this sounds depressing,
bordering on tragic,
118
00:04:49,011 --> 00:04:49,973
but it's just a fact.
119
00:04:50,208 --> 00:04:52,624
Yeah, and I want another crack
at that chick, Doris.
120
00:04:52,753 --> 00:04:54,665
I know I can land that lesbian plane.
121
00:04:54,841 --> 00:04:56,014
No snakes on that plan.
122
00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:00,723
Okay, guys, come on,
you promised.
123
00:05:00,829 --> 00:05:02,213
Let's just hang out here,
124
00:05:02,353 --> 00:05:03,914
try to have fun.
I mean,
125
00:05:04,078 --> 00:05:05,169
we're all together.
126
00:05:05,392 --> 00:05:08,113
Friends hanging out,
isn't that would really matters?
127
00:05:12,681 --> 00:05:13,901
Okay, if we take the next train,
128
00:05:14,007 --> 00:05:15,379
we could be at MacLaren's by 11:00!
129
00:05:15,479 --> 00:05:16,224
We can be there by 10:00?
130
00:05:16,294 --> 00:05:17,350
No, I have to change first,
131
00:05:17,479 --> 00:05:20,302
I'm not walking into MacLaren's
smelling like New Jersey.
132
00:05:24,490 --> 00:05:26,590
You guys really hate it here?
133
00:05:26,778 --> 00:05:29,799
- What?
- No! Stells.
134
00:05:30,248 --> 00:05:32,430
No, no, I get it, I mean
you guys are all New Yorkers,
135
00:05:32,535 --> 00:05:33,638
you need to hang out at a bar.
136
00:05:33,779 --> 00:05:34,670
Well, you could,
137
00:05:34,752 --> 00:05:36,582
just hang out
on the coolest bar in state,
138
00:05:36,664 --> 00:05:39,139
which is so close it
will blow your mind.
139
00:05:40,981 --> 00:05:42,905
And boom goes the dynamite.
140
00:05:43,292 --> 00:05:45,227
The coolest bar in New Jersey.
141
00:05:45,380 --> 00:05:46,952
Yeah, it probably is...
142
00:05:47,304 --> 00:05:48,659
This is great!
143
00:05:49,058 --> 00:05:50,383
We got darts,
144
00:05:50,688 --> 00:05:52,436
half a ping-pong table,
145
00:05:52,671 --> 00:05:53,902
a fish bowl,
146
00:05:54,149 --> 00:05:56,929
look what turned out to be
an awesome night as promised.
147
00:05:57,101 --> 00:05:59,588
Maybe we can drop some bac-o's
in here, and make them fight.
148
00:05:59,939 --> 00:06:01,898
No thanks.
I don't mess with fish bowls unless
149
00:06:02,039 --> 00:06:03,693
they have my two favorite fish.
150
00:06:03,928 --> 00:06:05,115
The sucker fish
151
00:06:05,288 --> 00:06:07,599
and the blow fish.
What up?
152
00:06:08,652 --> 00:06:09,942
For blow fish?
153
00:06:10,236 --> 00:06:11,092
I don't think so.
154
00:06:13,462 --> 00:06:14,799
- Marshall?
- You're better than that.
155
00:06:15,901 --> 00:06:16,601
Lily?
156
00:06:16,701 --> 00:06:17,648
Not good enough.
157
00:06:18,622 --> 00:06:20,358
Stella?
158
00:06:22,586 --> 00:06:23,364
Sorry.
159
00:06:24,859 --> 00:06:26,056
I am not lowering this,
160
00:06:26,185 --> 00:06:28,237
until someone gives me the respect
161
00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:30,290
of another person's knuckles
162
00:06:30,384 --> 00:06:31,651
tapping against mine
163
00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:33,927
in a light
but decisive manner.
164
00:06:35,680 --> 00:06:36,425
Pretty-pretty...
165
00:06:37,111 --> 00:06:37,868
Pretty-pretty...
166
00:06:38,084 --> 00:06:39,527
Pretty-pret...
who's a pretty baby ?
167
00:06:41,533 --> 00:06:42,530
Then know this,
168
00:06:42,906 --> 00:06:45,319
until it gets what it wants, nay,
169
00:06:45,448 --> 00:06:46,551
deserves,
170
00:06:47,419 --> 00:06:48,439
this fist,
171
00:06:48,826 --> 00:06:50,257
will not yield.
172
00:06:51,554 --> 00:06:52,263
It...
173
00:06:52,480 --> 00:06:53,334
will...
174
00:06:53,659 --> 00:06:54,681
not...
175
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:55,818
yield.
176
00:06:57,282 --> 00:06:58,268
So who wants to play Scrabble?
177
00:06:58,365 --> 00:06:59,523
Sure. Whatever.
178
00:07:00,096 --> 00:07:00,796
Oh, heads up.
179
00:07:00,801 --> 00:07:03,394
The X tile is a little hard to read
because, a couple years ago,
180
00:07:03,464 --> 00:07:05,353
it went all the way
through my dog.
181
00:07:07,136 --> 00:07:09,078
You konw, maybe
we should get a dog again,
182
00:07:09,224 --> 00:07:10,221
When you move in.
183
00:07:10,678 --> 00:07:11,382
When I what ?
184
00:07:12,286 --> 00:07:13,881
Oh great, there's Robin.
185
00:07:20,078 --> 00:07:21,955
I thought they were moving in
with you.
186
00:07:22,236 --> 00:07:23,421
So did I.
187
00:07:25,450 --> 00:07:27,890
Oh God, am I moving
to New Jersey?
188
00:07:28,881 --> 00:07:29,581
Hey guys,
189
00:07:29,681 --> 00:07:30,573
I bet that dog was really
190
00:07:30,679 --> 00:07:33,752
flying high
after it swallow the little X.
191
00:07:34,174 --> 00:07:35,476
Nailed it!
192
00:07:37,189 --> 00:07:38,221
Come on!
193
00:07:42,355 --> 00:07:43,892
I can't live here.
194
00:07:44,114 --> 00:07:45,217
It wouldn't be that bad.
195
00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,375
You could put a mini- fridge over there
196
00:07:47,469 --> 00:07:48,642
and maybe some knock hockey.
197
00:07:48,713 --> 00:07:50,941
Knock hockey.
Nice one, big mon.
198
00:07:51,755 --> 00:07:54,828
Yeah, I meant New Jersey
in general, not this basement.
199
00:07:55,004 --> 00:07:56,376
She wants me to move here?
200
00:07:56,469 --> 00:07:58,887
I don't get it.
We discussed this months ago.
201
00:07:59,332 --> 00:08:01,878
So, I was thinking,
after the wedding,
202
00:08:02,603 --> 00:08:04,339
you and Lucy,
can move in here
203
00:08:06,028 --> 00:08:08,316
Yeah, she could play out
on the fire escape,
204
00:08:08,621 --> 00:08:09,794
maybe make friends with that guy
205
00:08:09,888 --> 00:08:11,471
who sleeps on that couch in the alley,
206
00:08:11,553 --> 00:08:13,100
ride her bike up and down Broadway.
207
00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:15,528
It's a great idea, Ted.
208
00:08:17,653 --> 00:08:19,188
I don't understand
209
00:08:19,315 --> 00:08:20,678
why you'd want to live in New Jersey
210
00:08:20,733 --> 00:08:22,449
when you have a chance
to live in Manhattan?
211
00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,184
I thought having
a rent-controlled apartment
212
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:26,412
on the Upper West Side was half
the reason she agreed to marry me.
213
00:08:26,577 --> 00:08:27,761
Really, I thought it was
the whole reason.
214
00:08:27,832 --> 00:08:28,852
What is up?!
215
00:08:30,753 --> 00:08:31,890
- Hey.
- Robin, hey.
216
00:08:31,973 --> 00:08:33,497
You're looking good.
217
00:08:33,802 --> 00:08:34,972
Bump the Barnacle.
218
00:08:35,101 --> 00:08:36,661
Stella already told me not to.
219
00:08:37,013 --> 00:08:37,940
How was your first day?
220
00:08:38,104 --> 00:08:38,855
It wasn't.
221
00:08:39,042 --> 00:08:40,790
- What?
- It wasn't my first day.
222
00:08:41,083 --> 00:08:43,019
I showed up
and there were 20 other people.
223
00:08:43,183 --> 00:08:44,918
It turns out,
I didn't actually get the job.
224
00:08:44,919 --> 00:08:46,464
I only got an audition.
225
00:08:46,652 --> 00:08:47,591
What, how did that happen?
226
00:08:47,686 --> 00:08:49,749
I don't know.
Because he told me that I got it.
227
00:08:50,312 --> 00:08:51,286
I got it?
228
00:08:51,508 --> 00:08:52,506
I got it!
229
00:08:53,503 --> 00:08:55,541
And just to be clear,
when I say you got it
230
00:08:55,799 --> 00:08:57,617
I mean an audition.
231
00:08:58,497 --> 00:08:59,951
You got an audition.
232
00:09:00,233 --> 00:09:03,182
I don't want there to be any confusion.
You have an audition
233
00:09:03,443 --> 00:09:04,745
only.
234
00:09:05,003 --> 00:09:05,894
Not the job.
235
00:09:07,783 --> 00:09:09,871
Thank you.
Thank you!
236
00:09:09,980 --> 00:09:12,440
Okay, I'm going to call and beg
Joel to give me my job back.
237
00:09:13,410 --> 00:09:14,595
You hated that job.
238
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:16,120
I don't know,
it wasn't so bad.
239
00:09:16,202 --> 00:09:17,555
Robin, what did they make you call
240
00:09:17,645 --> 00:09:20,495
Tropical Storm Hector
when it was raining cats and dogs?
241
00:09:21,211 --> 00:09:22,102
A furricane.
242
00:09:22,746 --> 00:09:23,966
Hey, Ted.
243
00:09:24,775 --> 00:09:25,985
Rock me like a furricane.
244
00:09:26,159 --> 00:09:26,893
Thanks.
245
00:09:28,035 --> 00:09:28,752
Mean.
246
00:09:29,590 --> 00:09:30,642
Okay, yeah, it's sucks,
247
00:09:30,734 --> 00:09:31,637
but what can I do?
248
00:09:31,684 --> 00:09:33,362
I mean, I'm not going
to get that other job.
249
00:09:33,515 --> 00:09:35,491
You guys should have seen
the other women at this audition.
250
00:09:35,647 --> 00:09:37,473
They all had more experience than me,
251
00:09:37,572 --> 00:09:38,845
were more ethnic than me.
252
00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:40,640
There was an African-American chick
253
00:09:40,746 --> 00:09:41,485
with blue eyes,
254
00:09:41,684 --> 00:09:43,115
how can I compete with that?
255
00:09:43,784 --> 00:09:44,488
You can't.
256
00:09:44,886 --> 00:09:46,773
No, you can compete with anyone.
257
00:09:46,867 --> 00:09:48,451
You're Robin Scherbatsky.
258
00:09:48,615 --> 00:09:50,740
Confident. Strong. Tall.
259
00:09:50,756 --> 00:09:53,200
With crazy long legs
that look great in shorts.
260
00:09:53,651 --> 00:09:54,770
I'm calling Joel.
261
00:09:54,875 --> 00:09:57,198
But, no Robin,
if you call him right now,
262
00:09:57,268 --> 00:09:58,336
you will hate yourself
263
00:09:58,429 --> 00:10:00,705
Look, I have slept with lots of women
264
00:10:00,775 --> 00:10:03,028
who afterwards told me off
and stormed out.
265
00:10:03,227 --> 00:10:05,201
And sometimes
they'd pick up the phone
266
00:10:05,331 --> 00:10:06,269
and they'd call me
267
00:10:06,456 --> 00:10:07,747
and then we'd hook up again.
268
00:10:08,110 --> 00:10:10,914
And when we were finished,
I could see that look on their faces,
269
00:10:11,102 --> 00:10:13,494
that look that says
they hate themselves
270
00:10:13,624 --> 00:10:15,125
and they wish they'd never called.
271
00:10:16,286 --> 00:10:17,330
But if you could see...
272
00:10:17,459 --> 00:10:19,301
that look,
actually, you can see that look,
273
00:10:19,465 --> 00:10:21,049
there's a video.
www...
274
00:10:21,119 --> 00:10:23,477
- dot...
- No! Stop, okay? I won't call.
275
00:10:24,462 --> 00:10:25,315
Don't drink the beer!
276
00:10:25,491 --> 00:10:26,769
I just remembered when I bought it.
277
00:10:26,945 --> 00:10:28,341
It was right before
I got pregnant with Lucy.
278
00:10:28,948 --> 00:10:31,133
Ted, would you mind running
to PriceCo and picking some up?
279
00:10:31,634 --> 00:10:32,368
Oh, and while you're there,
280
00:10:32,441 --> 00:10:33,708
maybe you could sign up for a card.
I mean,
281
00:10:33,843 --> 00:10:35,302
you'll probably end up
going there all the time.
282
00:10:38,930 --> 00:10:39,939
That's the look.
283
00:10:42,696 --> 00:10:45,344
I can't move here.
I hate it here.
284
00:10:45,504 --> 00:10:46,364
I would kill myself.
285
00:10:46,493 --> 00:10:48,628
Maybe New Jersey is not that bad.
286
00:10:48,734 --> 00:10:49,953
Stella has a lawn.
287
00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:51,649
You could get a riding lawn mower.
288
00:10:51,715 --> 00:10:52,654
They sell them over there.
289
00:10:52,757 --> 00:10:54,304
I saw one with a cup holder.
290
00:10:54,445 --> 00:10:56,800
I saw a recliner
with a built-in cup holder.
291
00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:58,556
I even saw a hammock
with a cup holder.
292
00:10:58,718 --> 00:10:59,418
You live in New Jersey,
293
00:10:59,518 --> 00:11:00,892
you never have to hold a cup again.
294
00:11:01,273 --> 00:11:03,254
I don't think I have as big a problem
holding cups as you do.
295
00:11:04,315 --> 00:11:08,167
I will give you $100
to fist pump me.
296
00:11:10,223 --> 00:11:11,160
$200.
297
00:11:11,963 --> 00:11:13,381
Just put it down, Barney.
298
00:11:13,456 --> 00:11:15,230
Your arm must be killing you by now.
299
00:11:17,686 --> 00:11:19,132
$10,000.
300
00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:22,981
Look, you'll be right across the river.
You'll be in New York all the time.
301
00:11:23,197 --> 00:11:24,030
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
302
00:11:25,338 --> 00:11:26,085
Excuse me.
303
00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:27,441
You guys are from New York, right?
304
00:11:27,619 --> 00:11:28,806
Yeah, we moved here
from Manhattan.
305
00:11:29,276 --> 00:11:30,487
Do you ever get into the city?
306
00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:31,410
All the time.
307
00:11:31,689 --> 00:11:32,788
See? All the time.
308
00:11:32,919 --> 00:11:34,110
When was the last time you were there?
309
00:11:34,382 --> 00:11:36,148
We just had dinner at O'Rourke's.
310
00:11:36,317 --> 00:11:37,847
That's been closed for six years.
311
00:11:38,448 --> 00:11:39,714
It has been awhile.
312
00:11:40,165 --> 00:11:41,160
Funny, we don't miss it.
313
00:11:41,527 --> 00:11:43,480
Well, I guess we're
New Jersians now.
314
00:11:43,855 --> 00:11:45,597
Honey, look, dog shirts.
315
00:11:48,205 --> 00:11:50,088
I can't do it.
I'm just going to tell Stella
316
00:11:50,205 --> 00:11:52,355
she and Lucy have to move into the city
and that's that.
317
00:11:52,975 --> 00:11:54,260
Okay, what do you guys think?
318
00:11:54,984 --> 00:11:57,130
Beagle or Boston terrier?
319
00:12:00,980 --> 00:12:02,660
Are those tears?
320
00:12:04,182 --> 00:12:05,360
They're awesome...
321
00:12:05,759 --> 00:12:07,989
manly pain tears.
They're not emotional.
322
00:12:09,792 --> 00:12:11,520
Okay, they're a little bit emotional.
323
00:12:13,088 --> 00:12:14,562
Where's Robin?
324
00:12:18,405 --> 00:12:20,574
Hey, Shirley,
it's Robin calling for Joel.
325
00:12:20,912 --> 00:12:22,874
Robin, hang up the phone.
Don't do this.
326
00:12:23,043 --> 00:12:24,264
Sorry, I know, okay?
327
00:12:24,405 --> 00:12:26,414
If you don't hang up right now...
328
00:12:26,989 --> 00:12:29,045
Hey, Joel, it's Robin.
329
00:12:29,233 --> 00:12:32,003
So Madam Butterfly
wants to come back to the cocoon.
330
00:12:33,045 --> 00:12:35,007
Yeah, look, I'm sorry
I said all that stuff.
331
00:12:35,186 --> 00:12:37,243
Well, you can stick your sorries
in your sock drawer,
332
00:12:37,318 --> 00:12:38,736
'cause you've already been replaced.
333
00:12:38,971 --> 00:12:42,144
I've got Brian in make up
and he couldn't be more excited.
334
00:12:42,391 --> 00:12:44,795
I can't do this.
I can't do this.
335
00:12:45,358 --> 00:12:47,743
Okay, look, as much
as I want to see college boy
336
00:12:47,790 --> 00:12:49,470
here wet himself on camera,
337
00:12:49,696 --> 00:12:51,621
if you can get here in time
to read the 11:00 news,
338
00:12:51,696 --> 00:12:53,055
you can have your old job back.
339
00:12:54,200 --> 00:12:56,773
Okay, I have a half hour
to make it to the studio.
340
00:12:56,914 --> 00:12:59,108
There's no way you can make it
to the city in a half hour.
341
00:12:59,184 --> 00:13:00,226
Robin, don't do this.
342
00:13:00,282 --> 00:13:01,813
I know it's scary to bet on yourself,
343
00:13:01,891 --> 00:13:03,525
but if you don't, nobody else will.
344
00:13:03,657 --> 00:13:05,356
And I'm not just saying that
to get a fist bump.
345
00:13:05,431 --> 00:13:06,774
Although, come on,
a fist bump would be great.
346
00:13:06,812 --> 00:13:07,844
But I really mean it.
347
00:13:07,976 --> 00:13:09,081
I am betting on myself.
348
00:13:09,126 --> 00:13:11,731
I am betting that I can make it there
by 11 o'clock
349
00:13:27,624 --> 00:13:28,742
Hey, did you get the beer?
350
00:13:29,013 --> 00:13:31,202
Yeah, I got 144-pack.
351
00:13:31,268 --> 00:13:32,736
The rest is in the trunk.
352
00:13:33,139 --> 00:13:34,819
And did you sign up
for the membership?
353
00:13:36,930 --> 00:13:37,630
Why not?
354
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:38,836
There was a line for the photos...
355
00:13:38,896 --> 00:13:39,980
my hair's a mess...
356
00:13:40,323 --> 00:13:41,845
I don't want to move to New Jersey.
357
00:13:42,939 --> 00:13:43,641
What?
358
00:13:43,950 --> 00:13:44,650
I can't do it.
359
00:13:44,750 --> 00:13:46,279
And I can't see any reason
360
00:13:46,321 --> 00:13:47,900
why you and Lucy
shouldn't move to New York.
361
00:13:48,438 --> 00:13:50,194
Well, my daughter goes to school here.
362
00:13:50,236 --> 00:13:51,436
All of her friends are here.
363
00:13:51,509 --> 00:13:52,399
I've lived here my whole life.
364
00:13:52,489 --> 00:13:53,788
My whole family is here.
365
00:13:53,830 --> 00:13:54,582
This is my house.
366
00:13:54,642 --> 00:13:56,963
I'm on the PTA, and as of June 1,
367
00:13:57,150 --> 00:13:58,421
I'm the deputy mayor.
368
00:13:59,948 --> 00:14:03,364
Yes, but my apartment
is really close to the subway.
369
00:14:05,030 --> 00:14:07,760
Ted, we're not moving,
end of discussion.
370
00:14:07,895 --> 00:14:09,284
How can it be end of discussion
371
00:14:09,344 --> 00:14:10,830
if there's never been a discussion?
372
00:14:11,070 --> 00:14:12,497
This is part of being a parent.
373
00:14:12,551 --> 00:14:13,830
I can't just uproot Lucy.
374
00:14:13,959 --> 00:14:16,340
People with kids move
all the time. And...
375
00:14:16,557 --> 00:14:18,032
I think it would be really great
for Lucy
376
00:14:18,088 --> 00:14:19,684
to grow up
in the greatest city in the world.
377
00:14:19,750 --> 00:14:20,630
Here we go...
378
00:14:20,717 --> 00:14:22,500
New York's the greatest city
in the whole wide world.
379
00:14:22,560 --> 00:14:23,384
It's where dreams come true
380
00:14:23,441 --> 00:14:25,000
and pigeon poop
tastes like tapioca.
381
00:14:25,459 --> 00:14:26,765
Want to know a little secret, Ted?
382
00:14:27,018 --> 00:14:29,800
New Jersey is better than New York.
383
00:14:30,389 --> 00:14:31,262
Better than...?
384
00:14:31,488 --> 00:14:32,826
You think...? I...
385
00:14:33,737 --> 00:14:35,343
The Empire State Buil...
386
00:14:35,869 --> 00:14:36,860
H and H Bage...
387
00:14:37,634 --> 00:14:38,573
Lincoln Ce...
388
00:14:38,817 --> 00:14:39,596
Zabar's...
389
00:14:39,981 --> 00:14:41,728
Papaya King.
390
00:14:42,131 --> 00:14:43,537
New York is the intellectual
391
00:14:43,612 --> 00:14:45,162
and cultural hub of the planet.
392
00:14:45,603 --> 00:14:49,171
New York is full of weirdoes,
and snobs and mean people.
393
00:14:49,256 --> 00:14:50,674
Ted, do you know that once,
an old lady
394
00:14:50,749 --> 00:14:53,230
actually called me a bitch
and threw a cat in my face?
395
00:14:53,547 --> 00:14:55,374
And you want to know
if that happened in New Jersey?
396
00:14:56,125 --> 00:14:57,160
86th and Lex,
397
00:14:57,262 --> 00:14:59,093
right in front of your beloved
little Papaya King.
398
00:15:00,388 --> 00:15:02,146
People are nice in New Jersey.
399
00:15:02,352 --> 00:15:04,380
I mean it's the kind of place
where you know your neighbors.
400
00:15:04,493 --> 00:15:07,730
- Hey, I know my neighbors.
- Oh, yeah? Like who?
401
00:15:07,864 --> 00:15:09,432
Right across the hall, I got...
402
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:11,727
Clax... pa... mon...
403
00:15:11,802 --> 00:15:13,924
- Claxpamon?
- His name is Paxton.
404
00:15:14,216 --> 00:15:15,502
Love that dude.
405
00:15:16,845 --> 00:15:18,591
Sorry, in a hurry.
Got to get to the front.
406
00:15:18,666 --> 00:15:19,727
Got to get off first.
407
00:15:19,859 --> 00:15:21,420
Don't run over Matisse.
408
00:15:22,396 --> 00:15:23,598
Okay, so this is crazy.
409
00:15:23,654 --> 00:15:25,025
You can't actually think
410
00:15:25,128 --> 00:15:27,420
that New Jersey
is better than New York.
411
00:15:27,758 --> 00:15:30,152
New York has Broadway.
We win right there.
412
00:15:30,241 --> 00:15:32,072
Oh, no, she did not.
413
00:15:32,175 --> 00:15:33,687
Knuckle up for safety.
414
00:15:34,288 --> 00:15:35,230
We have Atlantic City.
415
00:15:35,359 --> 00:15:36,560
Can't beat the A.C.
416
00:15:36,626 --> 00:15:38,222
Pretty please?
No one has to know.
417
00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:40,282
New York has Greenwich Village.
418
00:15:40,386 --> 00:15:41,728
New Jersey has The Shore.
419
00:15:41,813 --> 00:15:42,874
Woody Allen.
420
00:15:42,949 --> 00:15:45,801
Oscar-winning chronicler
of urban neuroses.
421
00:15:45,858 --> 00:15:46,862
Bump it!
422
00:15:47,219 --> 00:15:49,041
- Bruce Springsteen.
- Sinatra.
423
00:15:49,247 --> 00:15:50,440
He's from Hoboken...
424
00:15:50,599 --> 00:15:52,499
- New Jersey.
- Yeah, but what city is
425
00:15:52,544 --> 00:15:53,408
he singing about?
426
00:15:53,568 --> 00:15:55,730
It's not "Secaucus, Secaucus."
427
00:16:00,606 --> 00:16:01,696
Come on...
428
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:05,733
Now you kids
can either believe this or not,
429
00:16:06,296 --> 00:16:08,974
but this is how your
Aunt Robin swears it happened.
430
00:16:15,361 --> 00:16:16,863
Look, Stella,
431
00:16:17,032 --> 00:16:18,960
I understand that coming
from New Jersey
432
00:16:19,029 --> 00:16:21,400
you don't picture yourself
loving New York,
433
00:16:21,557 --> 00:16:24,177
but trust me,
Marshall didn't expect to,
434
00:16:24,242 --> 00:16:26,627
and now he wouldn't think
of living anywhere else.
435
00:16:26,712 --> 00:16:28,060
I hate New York!
436
00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,759
I'm sorry, but it's true.
437
00:16:30,862 --> 00:16:32,967
Okay, today I was walking
around PriceCo.
438
00:16:33,042 --> 00:16:34,855
Have you ever been there?
It's huge.
439
00:16:34,977 --> 00:16:36,507
All the stores in New York
are so cramped.
440
00:16:36,592 --> 00:16:38,366
Every time I turn,
I knock something over.
441
00:16:38,479 --> 00:16:40,612
I'm like some huge monster
that came out of the ocean
442
00:16:40,659 --> 00:16:41,908
to destroy bodegas.
443
00:16:42,349 --> 00:16:43,730
But, Marshall, you love New York.
444
00:16:43,795 --> 00:16:45,805
Yeah, I do, except that I hate it.
445
00:16:46,594 --> 00:16:48,830
I'm too big for New York, okay?
446
00:16:48,999 --> 00:16:51,374
I'm always trying to fit
into cramped little subway seats
447
00:16:51,497 --> 00:16:53,914
or duck under doorways
that were built 150 years ago.
448
00:16:53,968 --> 00:16:55,837
Hey, guess what?
People are bigger now.
449
00:16:55,921 --> 00:16:58,025
Build bigger doorways.
What the hell is the matter with you?
450
00:16:58,090 --> 00:16:59,499
Small city, big man...
give it up.
451
00:16:59,621 --> 00:17:02,755
And it's so loud,
all the time.
452
00:17:02,830 --> 00:17:04,163
Yes, it's the city that never sleeps.
453
00:17:04,220 --> 00:17:06,257
Well, guess what, I like to sleep.
454
00:17:06,360 --> 00:17:08,512
I've been tired for eight years.
455
00:17:08,606 --> 00:17:11,348
Tired and scared with black
and blue marks on my elbows
456
00:17:11,432 --> 00:17:13,780
from trying to fit through
all these tiny elf doorways.
457
00:17:13,920 --> 00:17:15,479
New Jersey's great.
458
00:17:15,573 --> 00:17:16,981
It's got huge stores,
459
00:17:17,066 --> 00:17:19,935
and lawns and you never have
to carry a cup again.
460
00:17:20,573 --> 00:17:22,030
Not for the rest of your life.
461
00:17:22,658 --> 00:17:24,160
I'm not afraid to say it...
462
00:17:24,498 --> 00:17:26,216
I love New Jersey.
463
00:17:28,970 --> 00:17:30,106
I'm just kidding.
464
00:17:32,632 --> 00:17:34,219
Look, Stella...
465
00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:36,360
I get it, okay?
466
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:38,360
I see what you're saying.
467
00:17:38,979 --> 00:17:40,339
I guess...
468
00:17:42,386 --> 00:17:43,830
we could live in Brooklyn.
469
00:17:45,513 --> 00:17:47,230
You know what, Ted...
470
00:17:47,569 --> 00:17:48,921
live wherever you want.
471
00:17:49,082 --> 00:17:49,984
I don't care.
472
00:17:58,153 --> 00:18:00,230
Awkward silence.Tap it.
473
00:18:12,732 --> 00:18:14,901
Hey, Lucy. What are you doing up?
474
00:18:15,370 --> 00:18:17,000
There was some loud noises
in the basement.
475
00:18:17,614 --> 00:18:18,750
Sorry about that.
476
00:18:19,257 --> 00:18:20,352
Why don't you got back to bed, sweetie.
477
00:18:20,418 --> 00:18:22,000
I can't go to sleep without a story.
478
00:18:22,888 --> 00:18:25,730
- Okay, I'll just get your mom...
- Why don't you read it to me?
479
00:18:28,465 --> 00:18:29,817
Okay, come on.
480
00:18:59,201 --> 00:19:00,506
I'm moving here.
481
00:19:02,696 --> 00:19:03,532
Really?
482
00:19:04,171 --> 00:19:05,110
Really.
483
00:19:05,992 --> 00:19:07,460
New Jersey wins.
484
00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:29,140
Thank you!
485
00:19:30,765 --> 00:19:31,610
Wait...
486
00:19:42,977 --> 00:19:44,169
Good evening, New York.
487
00:19:44,573 --> 00:19:46,488
Hey, look, she made it.
488
00:19:46,610 --> 00:19:47,897
Our top story tonight...
489
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,765
the newborn panda
at the Central Park Zoo
490
00:19:49,850 --> 00:19:51,437
got its first tooth today.
491
00:19:51,718 --> 00:19:53,418
I guess that makes her a...
492
00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:55,694
molar bear.
493
00:19:57,291 --> 00:19:58,323
Molar bear.
494
00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:00,568
Molar bear.
495
00:20:02,671 --> 00:20:05,160
You know what?
I really am done.
496
00:20:05,875 --> 00:20:07,021
Good night, New York.
497
00:20:12,570 --> 00:20:13,800
She really quit.
498
00:20:14,420 --> 00:20:16,130
You think we had anything
to do with that?
499
00:20:16,870 --> 00:20:19,100
Yeah, I think we did.
500
00:20:20,790 --> 00:20:22,330
Nice job, Barney.
501
00:20:23,579 --> 00:20:25,232
Oh, my God!
502
00:20:25,842 --> 00:20:28,557
Thank you!
503
00:20:29,412 --> 00:20:31,083
That was killing my arm.
504
00:20:31,393 --> 00:20:34,004
My arm hasn't been this source
since I was 13 years old
505
00:20:34,088 --> 00:20:35,562
and figured out how
to lock a bathroom.
506
00:20:35,694 --> 00:20:37,085
Up top.
507
00:20:46,592 --> 00:20:47,597
What's wrong?
508
00:20:47,747 --> 00:20:49,686
Well, I officially didn't get that job.
509
00:20:50,513 --> 00:20:52,766
- I'm so sorry.
- That's okay. They...
510
00:20:53,583 --> 00:20:54,559
they offered me another one.
511
00:20:55,125 --> 00:20:56,760
Hey, that's great.
What are you going to be doing?
512
00:20:57,181 --> 00:20:58,664
Foreign correspondent.
513
00:20:58,764 --> 00:20:59,880
I'm, hum...
514
00:21:00,185 --> 00:21:01,451
moving to Japan
36663
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
