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1
00:00:01,245 --> 00:00:01,949
Kids,
2
00:00:02,051 --> 00:00:04,150
here's something
I wish my dad had told me.
3
00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,149
The longest pause
you will ever experience in your life
4
00:00:07,657 --> 00:00:09,592
is the one that follows asking
the question...
5
00:00:09,827 --> 00:00:11,017
Will you marry me?
6
00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:13,455
Your brain goes into overdrive,
7
00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,651
imagining every
possible response.
8
00:00:16,608 --> 00:00:17,329
No.
9
00:00:18,307 --> 00:00:19,494
Oh, God, no.
10
00:00:23,282 --> 00:00:24,850
You want me to marry...
11
00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:26,674
No.
12
00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,349
I'm sorry, Ted.
I can't.
13
00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:31,091
Mark Johnson,
the quarterback
14
00:00:31,191 --> 00:00:33,485
from your high school football team,
already asked me.
15
00:00:33,585 --> 00:00:34,850
What's up, Turd?
16
00:00:35,522 --> 00:00:37,048
It's Ted!
17
00:00:38,112 --> 00:00:40,444
But if you're lucky,
she may answer with the single
18
00:00:40,544 --> 00:00:42,650
greatest word
in the English language.
19
00:00:43,416 --> 00:00:44,149
Yes.
20
00:00:45,382 --> 00:00:47,085
Traduction : MiniBen314,
Eomyn, Kabaka, Spiff94
21
00:00:47,185 --> 00:00:48,996
Synchro : Mickeyte
22
00:00:49,096 --> 00:00:50,730
Relecture : MiniBen314
Transcript : www.shooter.cn
23
00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,172
How I Met Your Mother
4x01 - Do I Know You?
24
00:00:53,272 --> 00:00:58,019
par la "Have You Met Team"
pour www.forom.com
25
00:00:59,421 --> 00:01:02,050
Stella and I spent that summer
happily engaged.
26
00:01:02,727 --> 00:01:04,745
Marshall was still coping
with unemployment.
27
00:01:05,095 --> 00:01:06,050
What are you doing?
28
00:01:08,513 --> 00:01:10,334
Lily threw herself
into her painting.
29
00:01:10,597 --> 00:01:11,884
What are you doing?
30
00:01:13,161 --> 00:01:15,650
Barney was rehabilitating
from his bus accident.
31
00:01:15,819 --> 00:01:17,250
What are you doing?
32
00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:21,772
And well, Marshall just kept coping
with unemployment.
33
00:01:24,843 --> 00:01:26,350
What are you doing?
34
00:01:27,591 --> 00:01:31,816
And Robin continued to uphold the high
journalistic standards of Metro News 1.
35
00:01:32,539 --> 00:01:35,255
Is your favorite brand
of dental floss
36
00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:37,612
poisoning your entire family?
37
00:01:37,712 --> 00:01:40,070
Tune in at 11:00 for the shocking...
38
00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:41,665
tooth.
39
00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,749
Okay, I officially hate my job.
40
00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:48,549
I'm not a reporter,
I'm just someone
41
00:01:48,649 --> 00:01:50,972
who shows up at night
and scares people.
42
00:01:51,188 --> 00:01:52,950
I'm the bogeyman
with a teleprompter.
43
00:01:56,436 --> 00:01:58,349
"Bogeyman with a teleprompter."
44
00:01:58,572 --> 00:02:01,342
That's hilarious! Great joke,
Robin, great joke.
45
00:02:01,624 --> 00:02:04,318
Barney, no offense to Robin,
but that wasn't that funny.
46
00:02:04,694 --> 00:02:07,049
Are you kidding?
That was a great joke.
47
00:02:07,305 --> 00:02:09,804
It's smart, funny, beautiful,
the whole package.
48
00:02:09,904 --> 00:02:12,552
It's everything you're afraid
to let yourself want.
49
00:02:13,024 --> 00:02:14,338
In a joke.
50
00:02:16,611 --> 00:02:18,950
"Bogeyman with a teleprompter. "
51
00:02:19,779 --> 00:02:20,650
Classic.
52
00:02:22,774 --> 00:02:26,333
Okay, what is so urgent
that you called me and begged me
53
00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:28,849
to come over
at 7:22 in the morning?
54
00:02:29,112 --> 00:02:30,795
I could tell you knew something
was up with me,
55
00:02:31,039 --> 00:02:32,147
and you're right.
56
00:02:32,889 --> 00:02:34,349
But I can't tell you what it is.
57
00:02:34,457 --> 00:02:35,809
I should tell you, but I can't!
58
00:02:35,912 --> 00:02:37,083
I have to.
I never will!
59
00:02:37,183 --> 00:02:38,613
I'm going to.
Let's just drop it.
60
00:02:38,713 --> 00:02:39,954
What's up with you?
61
00:02:40,317 --> 00:02:41,650
Barney, just say it.
62
00:02:45,096 --> 00:02:46,950
I think I'm in love with Robin.
63
00:02:47,744 --> 00:02:50,364
Hey, Lily needs some gift ideas
for Stella's wedding shower.
64
00:02:50,883 --> 00:02:51,950
Does she like to cook?
65
00:02:53,831 --> 00:02:54,850
Actually, I don't know.
66
00:02:55,728 --> 00:02:56,950
What's her favorite color?
67
00:02:58,460 --> 00:02:59,450
Don't know that either.
68
00:03:00,422 --> 00:03:01,650
Well, does she have any hobbies?
69
00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:04,950
Yes, she's exactly the kind of person
who would have hobbies.
70
00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:06,950
And interests, too.
71
00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:09,349
I am one lucky son of a bitch.
72
00:03:09,454 --> 00:03:12,749
Dude, you don't know anything about
the woman you're marrying.
73
00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:15,649
What? You're crazy!
I know plenty.
74
00:03:15,768 --> 00:03:17,050
What color are her eyes?
75
00:03:18,453 --> 00:03:20,949
The color of the ocean
after a storm.
76
00:03:21,049 --> 00:03:22,250
Which is?
77
00:03:24,924 --> 00:03:26,150
Beautiful.
78
00:03:27,713 --> 00:03:28,549
I don't believe it.
79
00:03:28,727 --> 00:03:30,149
I thought you called me over here
80
00:03:30,249 --> 00:03:32,597
to uncuff you from your sex swing
again, but
81
00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,050
you're in love?
82
00:03:34,202 --> 00:03:35,507
That is so sweet!
83
00:03:35,607 --> 00:03:39,160
It's not sweet.
It's like a disease.
84
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,449
I slept with Robin one time
and I caught feelings.
85
00:03:42,645 --> 00:03:44,054
I caught feelings bad.
86
00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,026
I used protection and everything.
87
00:03:47,049 --> 00:03:50,614
Barney, you don't catch feelings,
you just have them.
88
00:03:50,925 --> 00:03:53,250
- And they're good.
- They're terrible!
89
00:03:53,542 --> 00:03:55,750
I can't eat, I can't sleep.
90
00:03:55,965 --> 00:03:58,849
She's all I think about.
I close my eyes, I see Robin.
91
00:03:58,984 --> 00:04:01,249
I hear a song,
it reminds me of Robin.
92
00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:03,250
- Morning.
- I sleep with that chick,
93
00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:04,461
I'm thinking about Robin.
94
00:04:05,944 --> 00:04:09,049
Okay, so I don't know
every single detail about Stella.
95
00:04:09,202 --> 00:04:10,949
What's this really about?
Do you not like her or something?
96
00:04:11,286 --> 00:04:13,296
No, Ted, I like Stella a lot.
97
00:04:13,431 --> 00:04:14,395
She's a Mets fan.
98
00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,262
Really?
99
00:04:15,378 --> 00:04:17,715
It's just that everything with you guys
has moved so fast.
100
00:04:17,815 --> 00:04:19,550
You've only known each other
a few months.
101
00:04:19,837 --> 00:04:21,950
Don't you think maybe you should
slow things down a little bit?
102
00:04:22,072 --> 00:04:23,149
Get to know each other better?
103
00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,950
I'll have a whole lifetime
to get to know her better.
104
00:04:26,236 --> 00:04:29,313
Right now, I know the
one thing that I have to,
105
00:04:29,799 --> 00:04:30,850
that I love her.
106
00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,350
You love her?
107
00:04:32,715 --> 00:04:34,719
Barney,
how can you be in love,
108
00:04:34,944 --> 00:04:37,550
and still be sleeping
with anything that moves?
109
00:04:38,484 --> 00:04:40,150
I'm sorry, I don't follow you.
110
00:04:40,437 --> 00:04:41,965
That's like saying,
111
00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:44,874
how can an ant carry
20 times its body weight,
112
00:04:44,974 --> 00:04:46,749
but root beer floats
are still delicious?
113
00:04:46,944 --> 00:04:48,277
Are the two even related?
114
00:04:48,531 --> 00:04:49,285
Really...
115
00:04:49,995 --> 00:04:52,359
Barney, you're going to have
to stop screwing around
116
00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,547
if you want to be
Robin's boyfriend.
117
00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:57,346
Boyfriend?
118
00:04:57,543 --> 00:05:00,050
I don't want
to be Robin's boyfriend.
119
00:05:00,195 --> 00:05:01,697
Well, what do you want, then?
120
00:05:01,876 --> 00:05:04,550
I don't know.
I just want to be with her.
121
00:05:04,706 --> 00:05:06,049
All the time.
122
00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:09,050
I want to hear about her day
and tell her about mine.
123
00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:12,650
I want to hold her hand
and smell her hair.
124
00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:15,920
But I don't want to be
her stupid boyfriend.
125
00:05:16,615 --> 00:05:19,889
Barney, what you just described
is a relationship
126
00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:22,149
between a boyfriend
and a girlfriend.
127
00:05:22,378 --> 00:05:24,415
And a pretty clingy one at that.
128
00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,350
Look, Lily, are you going
to help me out with this or not?
129
00:05:27,852 --> 00:05:29,450
I'm a kindergarten teacher.
130
00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,655
I see a confused,
little kid in the corner
131
00:05:31,755 --> 00:05:33,549
trying to eat
the lefty scissors,
132
00:05:33,748 --> 00:05:35,552
I gotta help the poor,
little bastard.
133
00:05:35,929 --> 00:05:39,150
But only if you stop sleeping around.
Deal?
134
00:05:40,610 --> 00:05:41,350
Deal.
135
00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:44,149
Coming up next,
is your local ice cream man
136
00:05:44,249 --> 00:05:47,549
actually driving a roving meth lab
on wheels?
137
00:05:47,854 --> 00:05:51,647
Stay tuned for the full...
scoop.
138
00:05:52,079 --> 00:05:53,050
Really?
139
00:05:58,282 --> 00:06:00,725
I know dudes think it's girlie
for a guy to cook, but...
140
00:06:00,825 --> 00:06:02,086
us ladies?
141
00:06:02,686 --> 00:06:04,950
- We find it mighty sexy.
- Really?
142
00:06:05,297 --> 00:06:06,349
You know...
143
00:06:06,921 --> 00:06:08,349
my grandma taught me how.
144
00:06:08,508 --> 00:06:10,150
- Yeah, she did.
- Yeah.
145
00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,649
I had a lot of time after school
to watch her cook because
146
00:06:13,871 --> 00:06:16,021
I wasn't good at sports.
147
00:06:16,121 --> 00:06:18,050
I'm on fire right now.
148
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,069
Delicious.
What's in this pesto?
149
00:06:24,248 --> 00:06:27,572
You know, the usual,
basil, garlic, olive oil, but
150
00:06:27,672 --> 00:06:29,649
can you guess
my secret ingredient?
151
00:06:29,836 --> 00:06:33,050
- Peanuts.
- Yes. How did you know that?
152
00:06:38,003 --> 00:06:40,538
- Okay, let me think. What else?
- You know what, sweetie?
153
00:06:40,638 --> 00:06:43,179
I woke up so early and I had
a really long day at work.
154
00:06:43,543 --> 00:06:45,679
And then there was that whole thing
where you tried to kill me.
155
00:06:45,982 --> 00:06:47,379
Can we please just go to sleep?
156
00:06:47,559 --> 00:06:50,180
No, I clearly need to know
more about you.
157
00:06:50,545 --> 00:06:52,734
Let's do firsts.
First kiss?
158
00:06:53,175 --> 00:06:54,879
Dale Harris, second grade.
159
00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,452
Wait, you're talking like peck
on the cheek
160
00:06:56,552 --> 00:06:58,198
or a full-on passionate making out?
161
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,479
- Passionate making out.
- Okay, yeah, Dale Harris, second grade.
162
00:07:01,527 --> 00:07:02,680
First time you had sex.
163
00:07:03,076 --> 00:07:04,776
- Dale Harris, second...
- Stop it.
164
00:07:05,123 --> 00:07:07,079
Billy Devito,
sophomore year of college.
165
00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:08,178
Prude.
166
00:07:08,438 --> 00:07:10,476
Molly McKenzie,
junior year of high school.
167
00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:11,580
Slut.
168
00:07:12,435 --> 00:07:14,782
Robin just needs to see
this new side of you.
169
00:07:14,979 --> 00:07:17,180
- So just call her up?
- Just call her up.
170
00:07:19,769 --> 00:07:20,480
It's...
171
00:07:25,722 --> 00:07:27,680
She wasn't there.
I left a voice mail.
172
00:07:28,173 --> 00:07:30,182
You left a voice,
but it wasn't male.
173
00:07:31,204 --> 00:07:34,795
Barney, I don't get it. You've called
a million girls a million times.
174
00:07:34,908 --> 00:07:36,479
Yeah, but those
were just booty calls.
175
00:07:36,608 --> 00:07:39,005
On a booty call,
you barely even have to talk.
176
00:07:39,615 --> 00:07:41,080
Around 9:00 p. m., you say...
177
00:07:41,306 --> 00:07:43,180
Hey, baby, it's Barney.
You busy tonight?
178
00:07:43,615 --> 00:07:45,479
Sweet.
See you in half an hour?
179
00:07:45,717 --> 00:07:46,580
Can't wait.
180
00:07:47,022 --> 00:07:49,179
But the later it gets,
the fewer words you need.
181
00:07:49,491 --> 00:07:50,479
Barney. Busy?
182
00:07:50,759 --> 00:07:51,680
Sweet.
183
00:07:52,609 --> 00:07:53,880
And by 3:00 in the morning...
184
00:08:00,253 --> 00:08:01,380
Sweet.
185
00:08:02,319 --> 00:08:03,495
A question mark?
186
00:08:03,643 --> 00:08:05,983
You got laid off
a question mark?
187
00:08:09,063 --> 00:08:11,780
It's no worse than your
super-obvious code words.
188
00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:15,582
- Rhinoceros.
- We have to go.
189
00:08:16,858 --> 00:08:18,880
Great. Now we need
a new code word.
190
00:08:20,971 --> 00:08:22,839
It's her, it's Robin.
What do I do?
191
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,905
Robin...
great to hear from you.
192
00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:28,880
To what do I owe the pleasure?
193
00:08:29,313 --> 00:08:32,080
You called, went...
and hung up.
194
00:08:32,283 --> 00:08:33,183
What do you want?
195
00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,582
Help me!
196
00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,080
Just ask her something.
197
00:08:38,457 --> 00:08:40,180
How are you feeling today?
198
00:08:40,842 --> 00:08:41,580
Fine.
199
00:08:41,846 --> 00:08:43,080
Something personal.
200
00:08:45,302 --> 00:08:48,487
At what age did you first get
your period?
201
00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,759
Did you just ask me about my period?
202
00:08:50,859 --> 00:08:52,780
No, I did not.
203
00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,480
Look, Barney,
I'm at work right now.
204
00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:57,180
Just ask her out.
205
00:08:59,059 --> 00:09:01,580
Robin, I was wondering if...
206
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,380
Nothing.
Gotta go. Bye.
207
00:09:07,822 --> 00:09:09,559
That was just a practical joke.
208
00:09:09,756 --> 00:09:11,390
I'm not really in love with Robin.
209
00:09:11,596 --> 00:09:13,700
You should've seen
the look on your face.
210
00:09:13,831 --> 00:09:16,396
There's cameras right there
and there and there.
211
00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:21,880
What a legendary prank that
we're never going to speak of again.
212
00:09:27,412 --> 00:09:28,680
Gross.
213
00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:32,436
First movie you ever saw.
214
00:09:32,576 --> 00:09:34,180
Benji, 1981.
215
00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:37,480
I watched it recently with Lucy
and I just thought,
216
00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:40,580
Oh, that dog is
so dead right now.
217
00:09:41,718 --> 00:09:42,479
What about you?
218
00:09:42,723 --> 00:09:45,980
My dad took me to an old drive-in
to see the original Star Wars.
219
00:09:46,407 --> 00:09:48,579
You know, I've actually
never seen Star Wars.
220
00:09:48,708 --> 00:09:51,079
She's never seen Star Wars?!
221
00:09:51,332 --> 00:09:52,750
Ted, the only people in the universe
222
00:09:52,844 --> 00:09:55,342
who haven't see Star Wars
are the characters in Star Wars,
223
00:09:55,442 --> 00:09:56,805
and that's 'cause they
lived them, Ted!
224
00:09:56,905 --> 00:09:58,579
That's 'cause they lived
the Star Wars.
225
00:09:58,679 --> 00:09:59,879
You've got to calm down.
226
00:10:00,027 --> 00:10:03,081
I told you. I told you, you didn't
know this girl well enough.
227
00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:05,110
What if you show it to her
and she doesn't like it?
228
00:10:05,232 --> 00:10:06,594
Dude, it's just a movie.
229
00:10:06,694 --> 00:10:09,267
Ted, Star Wars is your
all-time favorite movie,
230
00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,774
and whether or not Stella likes
it is actually important.
231
00:10:11,874 --> 00:10:14,440
It's like, it's a test
of how compatible you guys are.
232
00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:16,553
Marshall, it's just a movie.
233
00:10:16,769 --> 00:10:18,352
It's just a movie.
234
00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:22,522
121 awesome minutes later
235
00:10:23,521 --> 00:10:24,952
Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie,
236
00:10:25,052 --> 00:10:27,060
- I can't marry her.
- No, you can't.
237
00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:30,084
- You want to watch it again?
- Yes, I do.
238
00:10:37,129 --> 00:10:38,779
Wait, where are the boys?
I thought this was a group thing.
239
00:10:38,978 --> 00:10:40,079
Yeah, I lied.
240
00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,979
They're not coming and
I'm about to leave.
241
00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:44,080
- Why?
- Because...
242
00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:46,580
they're not in love with Robin,
and neither am I.
243
00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:49,380
I mean, she's great and sweet.
244
00:10:49,812 --> 00:10:52,014
I'm not going to pretend
that I hen't noticed her body, but
245
00:10:52,296 --> 00:10:54,521
this is off topic.
Good luck.
246
00:10:54,747 --> 00:10:56,380
Wait...
I can't do this.
247
00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:57,808
She'll never take me seriously.
248
00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,761
She thinks I'm some womanizing idiot.
249
00:11:00,484 --> 00:11:02,380
We both know
you're more than that.
250
00:11:02,564 --> 00:11:05,380
Okay, just show Robin the Barney
I met the other day.
251
00:11:05,982 --> 00:11:08,546
You mean the insecure,
touchy-feely she-male
252
00:11:08,646 --> 00:11:10,245
who sounded alarmingly close to Ted?
253
00:11:11,447 --> 00:11:13,380
Ted hit that for over a year.
254
00:11:14,505 --> 00:11:15,380
Wish me luck.
255
00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:18,655
I just thought it'd be fun
to watch a movie tonight,
256
00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:20,833
and since you've
never seen Star Wars,
257
00:11:20,927 --> 00:11:22,379
I figured why not?
258
00:11:22,664 --> 00:11:23,580
No big deal.
259
00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:25,080
It's pretty good.
260
00:11:25,737 --> 00:11:26,817
Sounds like a plan.
261
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,772
Hey, I'm just gonna grab a beer.
You want one?
262
00:11:34,872 --> 00:11:36,879
The movie's already started, so...
263
00:11:37,043 --> 00:11:38,761
Yeah, it's just some words
flying through space.
264
00:11:38,861 --> 00:11:40,179
I mean, I'm not going
to read that anyway.
265
00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:41,412
Oh, my God
266
00:11:41,646 --> 00:11:43,380
Off to a bad start.
267
00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,580
What are you doing down there?
268
00:11:45,759 --> 00:11:48,294
I'm making sure my best friend
is marrying the right woman.
269
00:11:48,394 --> 00:11:49,566
That's what I'm doing.
270
00:11:49,666 --> 00:11:51,717
Dude, what the hell are you doing,
hiding behind the couch?
271
00:11:51,829 --> 00:11:53,380
You need to get a job.
272
00:11:55,238 --> 00:11:57,373
- I really do, don't I?
- Yeah.
273
00:11:58,678 --> 00:12:01,720
So, Robin.
Tell me about your day,
274
00:12:02,424 --> 00:12:03,619
and not just what happened,
275
00:12:03,835 --> 00:12:06,080
how you felt
about what happened.
276
00:12:06,831 --> 00:12:07,580
What?
277
00:12:07,854 --> 00:12:09,279
I'm not looking to problem-solve,
278
00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:10,780
I'm just looking to listen.
279
00:12:12,878 --> 00:12:14,279
Why are you acting like this?
280
00:12:14,407 --> 00:12:15,180
Like what?
281
00:12:15,285 --> 00:12:18,819
You're being super nice.
It's freaking me out.
282
00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:22,687
Be gross, be inappropriate.
Be Barney.
283
00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:24,280
I'm being Barney,
284
00:12:25,063 --> 00:12:27,537
and I think tonight's going to be
285
00:12:27,638 --> 00:12:29,880
de... wait for it... lightful.
286
00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:32,267
Delightful.
287
00:12:33,093 --> 00:12:33,980
Right.
288
00:12:37,687 --> 00:12:39,480
So I went to the chiropractor
yesterday.
289
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:43,280
That guy bent me over the table
and pounded me for a good hour.
290
00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,423
Is insurance going to cover that?
Sometimes they don't.
291
00:12:49,658 --> 00:12:50,680
That's it?
292
00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,180
Okay.
293
00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:56,279
Well... today
I was at the dentist.
294
00:12:56,493 --> 00:13:00,080
That guy drilled me all day long.
295
00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,780
He drilled me hard.
296
00:13:03,554 --> 00:13:05,580
He filled all of my cavities.
297
00:13:05,923 --> 00:13:06,980
Come on, man.
298
00:13:07,528 --> 00:13:10,477
- Well, your teeth look fantastic.
- Who are you?
299
00:13:18,810 --> 00:13:19,780
What?
300
00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:21,680
Nothing.
301
00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,280
You were staring at me.
302
00:13:26,236 --> 00:13:27,880
You look really beautiful tonight.
303
00:13:29,814 --> 00:13:31,879
You don't look so bad yourself,
mister.
304
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:34,080
Yeah, great scene,
great scene.
305
00:13:36,844 --> 00:13:38,543
Star Wars fun fact number seven...
306
00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:40,055
George Lucas based
the film's structure
307
00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:42,880
on Akira Kurosawa's
The Hidden Fortress.
308
00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:45,946
He also owes a debt to Joseph Campbell's
work with comparative mythology.
309
00:13:46,046 --> 00:13:48,209
Yeah, Ted, I'm losing wood over here.
310
00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:49,700
What's going on?
311
00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:50,676
Nothing.
312
00:13:52,296 --> 00:13:56,033
Wait, it's really important to you
that I like this movie, isn't it?
313
00:13:59,282 --> 00:14:02,080
Well, I'm not gonna like it with you
staring at me the whole time.
314
00:14:02,852 --> 00:14:04,730
Go to your room and I will
come get you when it's over.
315
00:14:04,830 --> 00:14:05,923
- Stella.
- Go.
316
00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:15,121
Should I leave, too?
317
00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:17,780
What part...?
318
00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:26,465
Thanks.
319
00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,480
Nothing?
320
00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:30,279
Not even a glance?
321
00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:34,178
I mean, even I was thinking about
rocking a motorboat on those bad boys.
322
00:14:34,394 --> 00:14:36,280
What the hell is wrong with you,
Barney?
323
00:14:37,023 --> 00:14:39,014
I don't always want to be that guy.
324
00:14:39,155 --> 00:14:42,580
Sometimes I want to be someone you
can have an actual conversation with.
325
00:14:43,279 --> 00:14:46,580
Now, tell me something about you
that I don't know yet.
326
00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:47,880
Seriously.
327
00:14:49,842 --> 00:14:50,580
Okay.
328
00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:55,897
There's a job opening at a new
cable network that would be...
329
00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:57,580
perfect for me...
330
00:14:58,066 --> 00:15:00,062
completely legit world news,
331
00:15:00,162 --> 00:15:02,058
interviews with people
who matter...
332
00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:04,980
but I decided I'm not going to apply.
333
00:15:05,232 --> 00:15:06,179
Why not?
334
00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:07,116
Because I'm a joke.
335
00:15:07,557 --> 00:15:10,849
I'm just the scary news lady from
some stupid local news channel.
336
00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:13,680
Hey, we both know
you're more than that.
337
00:15:14,994 --> 00:15:16,280
Promise me you'll apply.
338
00:15:17,581 --> 00:15:20,407
- Barney, it's not as easy...
- Promise me you'll apply.
339
00:15:22,994 --> 00:15:23,879
Okay.
340
00:15:24,149 --> 00:15:25,180
I promise.
341
00:15:27,129 --> 00:15:29,308
Okay, she's up to the scene where Luke,
342
00:15:29,408 --> 00:15:31,779
Leia, Han and Chewy escape from
the Death Star's trash compactor.
343
00:15:32,021 --> 00:15:35,280
- Great scene.
- Great scene.
344
00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:39,480
Okay, we should
have just heard...
345
00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,785
but Stella didn't make a peep.
346
00:15:46,094 --> 00:15:47,780
- I'm gonna take a look.
- All right.
347
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,509
She's not even watching.
She's texting.
348
00:15:58,847 --> 00:16:00,143
I'll tell her you still want
to be friends.
349
00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:01,645
I don't believe this.
350
00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:03,569
I don't believe this,
she knows this is important to me.
351
00:16:03,669 --> 00:16:05,060
She's blatantly...
352
00:16:08,354 --> 00:16:10,380
"Stop watching me, jackasses."
353
00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:15,080
- To taking chances.
- To taking chances.
354
00:16:17,953 --> 00:16:19,437
You know, Robin,
there's actually something I,
355
00:16:19,537 --> 00:16:21,080
I do want to talk to you about.
356
00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,780
- Last call.
- Of course it is.
357
00:16:24,143 --> 00:16:25,180
One more for the road?
358
00:16:25,523 --> 00:16:26,480
Yeah, why not?
359
00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:27,980
Hold that thought?
360
00:16:30,632 --> 00:16:31,680
I will.
361
00:16:40,306 --> 00:16:41,079
I loved it.
362
00:16:41,179 --> 00:16:45,404
Yes! Yes, I am marrying a woman
who is not only hot
363
00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:48,025
but loves Star Wars.
That's the dream.
364
00:16:50,095 --> 00:16:50,879
What was that?
365
00:16:50,979 --> 00:16:54,180
I was high-fiving 15-Year-Old me
through the space- time continuum.
366
00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:55,030
We did it.
367
00:16:55,130 --> 00:16:57,649
We did it, you masturbating
little bastard.
368
00:16:58,482 --> 00:17:00,053
Champagne for everybody.
369
00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,180
It was so good.
370
00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,479
- You hated it, didn't you?
- It's so stupid.
371
00:17:06,613 --> 00:17:08,914
I mean, first of all, how do
they understand that walking...
372
00:17:09,014 --> 00:17:10,379
bear they hang around
with all the time?
373
00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:11,880
- Wookiee.
- Yeah, he goes...
374
00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:16,634
And they're all like, "that's a good
point, Bear, let's try that."
375
00:17:16,734 --> 00:17:18,000
Okay, he's a Wookiee,
376
00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,480
and his kind is actually more
intelligent than they appear.
377
00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:25,480
Look, Stella, that is
Ted's favorite movie of all time.
378
00:17:25,866 --> 00:17:27,980
He watches it when he's home sick
with the flu.
379
00:17:28,336 --> 00:17:30,890
He watches it on rainy
Sunday afternoons in the fall.
380
00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:33,480
He... he watches it
on Christmas Eve.
381
00:17:34,458 --> 00:17:37,280
Ted watches Star Wars
in sickness and in health,
382
00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,480
in good times and in bad.
383
00:17:40,524 --> 00:17:41,913
Do you really think
that you can pretend
384
00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:45,880
to like a movie that you actually hate
for the rest of your life?
385
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:51,418
I do.
386
00:17:53,484 --> 00:17:55,080
Well, then, Ted's a lucky guy.
387
00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:01,005
Bear.
388
00:18:05,177 --> 00:18:06,180
So, here's the deal.
389
00:18:06,632 --> 00:18:09,580
April, have...
you met Barney?
390
00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:10,780
Hi, Barney.
391
00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:13,650
- Hum.. Hello.
- April just finished her shift,
392
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:15,480
and she's looking to blow off
some steam.
393
00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:19,480
Would you excuse us for one sec?
394
00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:21,652
What are you doing?
395
00:18:21,774 --> 00:18:23,136
Well, you were so nice to me tonight,
396
00:18:23,343 --> 00:18:26,180
I wanted to return the favor,
wingwoman-style.
397
00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,822
So, as I was saying, April, Barney...
398
00:18:28,922 --> 00:18:30,680
is the Yankees' new second-baseman.
399
00:18:30,968 --> 00:18:32,236
And Barney, April asked
400
00:18:32,336 --> 00:18:36,780
if tomorrow, you could hit a goal
for her during the baseball match.
401
00:18:37,306 --> 00:18:38,580
You can't make this stuff up.
402
00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,780
So, you two kids have fun.
403
00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:46,680
So are you... nervous
about the game?
404
00:18:46,952 --> 00:18:49,036
Yeah, I'm nervous
for the other team
405
00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:52,080
'cause when I step up
to that plate...
406
00:18:54,715 --> 00:18:56,866
Look, April, I am not
a New York Yankee.
407
00:18:57,401 --> 00:19:00,227
Any other night, I would probably try
to convince you that I am, but I'm not.
408
00:19:00,327 --> 00:19:03,980
I'm just some guy who's in love
with the girl that just left,
409
00:19:04,457 --> 00:19:07,280
and she's never going
to feel the same way.
410
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:10,680
So I'm just going to go.
411
00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,079
And that was it.
412
00:19:13,389 --> 00:19:15,267
I'm so sorry, Barney.
413
00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:18,480
But you can't give up.
414
00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,086
You know,
it may take some time,
415
00:19:20,186 --> 00:19:22,218
but once Robin really sees
the new you...
416
00:19:22,302 --> 00:19:25,016
Barney...when my family gets
to Yankee Stadium,
417
00:19:25,255 --> 00:19:26,879
are the tickets under
your name or mine?
418
00:19:27,058 --> 00:19:29,546
My name, and tell your nephews
to bring their mitts.
419
00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,480
They're going to be
in foul ball country.
420
00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:34,679
Come on.
421
00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:37,380
Okay, well, the Robin stuff
was completely true.
422
00:19:38,494 --> 00:19:39,680
Damn it, Barney.
423
00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,913
I mean, for the last time,
424
00:19:42,054 --> 00:19:45,490
you can't, you can't
be in love with Robin and
425
00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,179
still be sleeping with
every bimbo on the planet.
426
00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:50,280
You have to choose right now.
427
00:19:52,395 --> 00:19:53,813
- I choose bimbos.
- What ?
428
00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,380
Hey, Lily, bimbos make me happy.
429
00:19:56,611 --> 00:19:58,280
Bimbos make me feel alive.
430
00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:02,580
Bimbos make me want to
pretend to be a better man.
431
00:20:03,214 --> 00:20:05,045
This whole thing with Robin
was just a fling,
432
00:20:05,145 --> 00:20:08,580
but at the end of the day,
my heart belongs to bimbos.
433
00:20:08,754 --> 00:20:12,015
No... this is just a defense mechanism
because
434
00:20:12,115 --> 00:20:15,282
you're afraid of getting hurt.
You're just confused.
435
00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,395
Oh, I'm not confused, Lily.
436
00:20:17,761 --> 00:20:19,180
You know who is confused?
437
00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:20,630
Bimbos.
438
00:20:21,165 --> 00:20:22,279
They're easily confused.
439
00:20:22,461 --> 00:20:25,380
It's one of the thousand little things
I love about them.
440
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,079
I love their vacant,
trusting stares,
441
00:20:29,179 --> 00:20:31,888
their sluggish,
unencumbered minds;
442
00:20:32,217 --> 00:20:34,501
their unresolved daddy issues.
443
00:20:34,839 --> 00:20:37,411
I love them, Lily,
and they love me.
444
00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:41,834
Bimbos have always been there for me,
through thick and thin.
445
00:20:42,191 --> 00:20:43,056
Mostly thin.
446
00:20:43,253 --> 00:20:45,782
B- man don't do thick crust.
What up?
447
00:20:45,951 --> 00:20:47,280
See you, Barney.
448
00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,148
- Chimichunga.
- We have to go.
33184
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