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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,245 --> 00:00:01,949 Kids, 2 00:00:02,051 --> 00:00:04,150 here's something I wish my dad had told me. 3 00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:07,149 The longest pause you will ever experience in your life 4 00:00:07,657 --> 00:00:09,592 is the one that follows asking the question... 5 00:00:09,827 --> 00:00:11,017 Will you marry me? 6 00:00:11,811 --> 00:00:13,455 Your brain goes into overdrive, 7 00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,651 imagining every possible response. 8 00:00:16,608 --> 00:00:17,329 No. 9 00:00:18,307 --> 00:00:19,494 Oh, God, no. 10 00:00:23,282 --> 00:00:24,850 You want me to marry... 11 00:00:25,151 --> 00:00:26,674 No. 12 00:00:27,795 --> 00:00:29,349 I'm sorry, Ted. I can't. 13 00:00:29,590 --> 00:00:31,091 Mark Johnson, the quarterback 14 00:00:31,191 --> 00:00:33,485 from your high school football team, already asked me. 15 00:00:33,585 --> 00:00:34,850 What's up, Turd? 16 00:00:35,522 --> 00:00:37,048 It's Ted! 17 00:00:38,112 --> 00:00:40,444 But if you're lucky, she may answer with the single 18 00:00:40,544 --> 00:00:42,650 greatest word in the English language. 19 00:00:43,416 --> 00:00:44,149 Yes. 20 00:00:45,382 --> 00:00:47,085 Traduction : MiniBen314, Eomyn, Kabaka, Spiff94 21 00:00:47,185 --> 00:00:48,996 Synchro : Mickeyte 22 00:00:49,096 --> 00:00:50,730 Relecture : MiniBen314 Transcript : www.shooter.cn 23 00:00:50,951 --> 00:00:53,172 How I Met Your Mother 4x01 - Do I Know You? 24 00:00:53,272 --> 00:00:58,019 par la "Have You Met Team" pour www.forom.com 25 00:00:59,421 --> 00:01:02,050 Stella and I spent that summer happily engaged. 26 00:01:02,727 --> 00:01:04,745 Marshall was still coping with unemployment. 27 00:01:05,095 --> 00:01:06,050 What are you doing? 28 00:01:08,513 --> 00:01:10,334 Lily threw herself into her painting. 29 00:01:10,597 --> 00:01:11,884 What are you doing? 30 00:01:13,161 --> 00:01:15,650 Barney was rehabilitating from his bus accident. 31 00:01:15,819 --> 00:01:17,250 What are you doing? 32 00:01:18,561 --> 00:01:21,772 And well, Marshall just kept coping with unemployment. 33 00:01:24,843 --> 00:01:26,350 What are you doing? 34 00:01:27,591 --> 00:01:31,816 And Robin continued to uphold the high journalistic standards of Metro News 1. 35 00:01:32,539 --> 00:01:35,255 Is your favorite brand of dental floss 36 00:01:35,355 --> 00:01:37,612 poisoning your entire family? 37 00:01:37,712 --> 00:01:40,070 Tune in at 11:00 for the shocking... 38 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:41,665 tooth. 39 00:01:44,360 --> 00:01:46,749 Okay, I officially hate my job. 40 00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:48,549 I'm not a reporter, I'm just someone 41 00:01:48,649 --> 00:01:50,972 who shows up at night and scares people. 42 00:01:51,188 --> 00:01:52,950 I'm the bogeyman with a teleprompter. 43 00:01:56,436 --> 00:01:58,349 "Bogeyman with a teleprompter." 44 00:01:58,572 --> 00:02:01,342 That's hilarious! Great joke, Robin, great joke. 45 00:02:01,624 --> 00:02:04,318 Barney, no offense to Robin, but that wasn't that funny. 46 00:02:04,694 --> 00:02:07,049 Are you kidding? That was a great joke. 47 00:02:07,305 --> 00:02:09,804 It's smart, funny, beautiful, the whole package. 48 00:02:09,904 --> 00:02:12,552 It's everything you're afraid to let yourself want. 49 00:02:13,024 --> 00:02:14,338 In a joke. 50 00:02:16,611 --> 00:02:18,950 "Bogeyman with a teleprompter. " 51 00:02:19,779 --> 00:02:20,650 Classic. 52 00:02:22,774 --> 00:02:26,333 Okay, what is so urgent that you called me and begged me 53 00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:28,849 to come over at 7:22 in the morning? 54 00:02:29,112 --> 00:02:30,795 I could tell you knew something was up with me, 55 00:02:31,039 --> 00:02:32,147 and you're right. 56 00:02:32,889 --> 00:02:34,349 But I can't tell you what it is. 57 00:02:34,457 --> 00:02:35,809 I should tell you, but I can't! 58 00:02:35,912 --> 00:02:37,083 I have to. I never will! 59 00:02:37,183 --> 00:02:38,613 I'm going to. Let's just drop it. 60 00:02:38,713 --> 00:02:39,954 What's up with you? 61 00:02:40,317 --> 00:02:41,650 Barney, just say it. 62 00:02:45,096 --> 00:02:46,950 I think I'm in love with Robin. 63 00:02:47,744 --> 00:02:50,364 Hey, Lily needs some gift ideas for Stella's wedding shower. 64 00:02:50,883 --> 00:02:51,950 Does she like to cook? 65 00:02:53,831 --> 00:02:54,850 Actually, I don't know. 66 00:02:55,728 --> 00:02:56,950 What's her favorite color? 67 00:02:58,460 --> 00:02:59,450 Don't know that either. 68 00:03:00,422 --> 00:03:01,650 Well, does she have any hobbies? 69 00:03:01,933 --> 00:03:04,950 Yes, she's exactly the kind of person who would have hobbies. 70 00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:06,950 And interests, too. 71 00:03:07,689 --> 00:03:09,349 I am one lucky son of a bitch. 72 00:03:09,454 --> 00:03:12,749 Dude, you don't know anything about the woman you're marrying. 73 00:03:13,073 --> 00:03:15,649 What? You're crazy! I know plenty. 74 00:03:15,768 --> 00:03:17,050 What color are her eyes? 75 00:03:18,453 --> 00:03:20,949 The color of the ocean after a storm. 76 00:03:21,049 --> 00:03:22,250 Which is? 77 00:03:24,924 --> 00:03:26,150 Beautiful. 78 00:03:27,713 --> 00:03:28,549 I don't believe it. 79 00:03:28,727 --> 00:03:30,149 I thought you called me over here 80 00:03:30,249 --> 00:03:32,597 to uncuff you from your sex swing again, but 81 00:03:32,720 --> 00:03:34,050 you're in love? 82 00:03:34,202 --> 00:03:35,507 That is so sweet! 83 00:03:35,607 --> 00:03:39,160 It's not sweet. It's like a disease. 84 00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:42,449 I slept with Robin one time and I caught feelings. 85 00:03:42,645 --> 00:03:44,054 I caught feelings bad. 86 00:03:44,166 --> 00:03:46,026 I used protection and everything. 87 00:03:47,049 --> 00:03:50,614 Barney, you don't catch feelings, you just have them. 88 00:03:50,925 --> 00:03:53,250 - And they're good. - They're terrible! 89 00:03:53,542 --> 00:03:55,750 I can't eat, I can't sleep. 90 00:03:55,965 --> 00:03:58,849 She's all I think about. I close my eyes, I see Robin. 91 00:03:58,984 --> 00:04:01,249 I hear a song, it reminds me of Robin. 92 00:04:01,510 --> 00:04:03,250 - Morning. - I sleep with that chick, 93 00:04:03,350 --> 00:04:04,461 I'm thinking about Robin. 94 00:04:05,944 --> 00:04:09,049 Okay, so I don't know every single detail about Stella. 95 00:04:09,202 --> 00:04:10,949 What's this really about? Do you not like her or something? 96 00:04:11,286 --> 00:04:13,296 No, Ted, I like Stella a lot. 97 00:04:13,431 --> 00:04:14,395 She's a Mets fan. 98 00:04:14,500 --> 00:04:15,262 Really? 99 00:04:15,378 --> 00:04:17,715 It's just that everything with you guys has moved so fast. 100 00:04:17,815 --> 00:04:19,550 You've only known each other a few months. 101 00:04:19,837 --> 00:04:21,950 Don't you think maybe you should slow things down a little bit? 102 00:04:22,072 --> 00:04:23,149 Get to know each other better? 103 00:04:23,297 --> 00:04:25,950 I'll have a whole lifetime to get to know her better. 104 00:04:26,236 --> 00:04:29,313 Right now, I know the one thing that I have to, 105 00:04:29,799 --> 00:04:30,850 that I love her. 106 00:04:31,138 --> 00:04:32,350 You love her? 107 00:04:32,715 --> 00:04:34,719 Barney, how can you be in love, 108 00:04:34,944 --> 00:04:37,550 and still be sleeping with anything that moves? 109 00:04:38,484 --> 00:04:40,150 I'm sorry, I don't follow you. 110 00:04:40,437 --> 00:04:41,965 That's like saying, 111 00:04:42,065 --> 00:04:44,874 how can an ant carry 20 times its body weight, 112 00:04:44,974 --> 00:04:46,749 but root beer floats are still delicious? 113 00:04:46,944 --> 00:04:48,277 Are the two even related? 114 00:04:48,531 --> 00:04:49,285 Really... 115 00:04:49,995 --> 00:04:52,359 Barney, you're going to have to stop screwing around 116 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:54,547 if you want to be Robin's boyfriend. 117 00:04:56,510 --> 00:04:57,346 Boyfriend? 118 00:04:57,543 --> 00:05:00,050 I don't want to be Robin's boyfriend. 119 00:05:00,195 --> 00:05:01,697 Well, what do you want, then? 120 00:05:01,876 --> 00:05:04,550 I don't know. I just want to be with her. 121 00:05:04,706 --> 00:05:06,049 All the time. 122 00:05:06,208 --> 00:05:09,050 I want to hear about her day and tell her about mine. 123 00:05:09,423 --> 00:05:12,650 I want to hold her hand and smell her hair. 124 00:05:13,610 --> 00:05:15,920 But I don't want to be her stupid boyfriend. 125 00:05:16,615 --> 00:05:19,889 Barney, what you just described is a relationship 126 00:05:20,002 --> 00:05:22,149 between a boyfriend and a girlfriend. 127 00:05:22,378 --> 00:05:24,415 And a pretty clingy one at that. 128 00:05:25,025 --> 00:05:27,350 Look, Lily, are you going to help me out with this or not? 129 00:05:27,852 --> 00:05:29,450 I'm a kindergarten teacher. 130 00:05:29,730 --> 00:05:31,655 I see a confused, little kid in the corner 131 00:05:31,755 --> 00:05:33,549 trying to eat the lefty scissors, 132 00:05:33,748 --> 00:05:35,552 I gotta help the poor, little bastard. 133 00:05:35,929 --> 00:05:39,150 But only if you stop sleeping around. Deal? 134 00:05:40,610 --> 00:05:41,350 Deal. 135 00:05:41,780 --> 00:05:44,149 Coming up next, is your local ice cream man 136 00:05:44,249 --> 00:05:47,549 actually driving a roving meth lab on wheels? 137 00:05:47,854 --> 00:05:51,647 Stay tuned for the full... scoop. 138 00:05:52,079 --> 00:05:53,050 Really? 139 00:05:58,282 --> 00:06:00,725 I know dudes think it's girlie for a guy to cook, but... 140 00:06:00,825 --> 00:06:02,086 us ladies? 141 00:06:02,686 --> 00:06:04,950 - We find it mighty sexy. - Really? 142 00:06:05,297 --> 00:06:06,349 You know... 143 00:06:06,921 --> 00:06:08,349 my grandma taught me how. 144 00:06:08,508 --> 00:06:10,150 - Yeah, she did. - Yeah. 145 00:06:10,536 --> 00:06:13,649 I had a lot of time after school to watch her cook because 146 00:06:13,871 --> 00:06:16,021 I wasn't good at sports. 147 00:06:16,121 --> 00:06:18,050 I'm on fire right now. 148 00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:24,069 Delicious. What's in this pesto? 149 00:06:24,248 --> 00:06:27,572 You know, the usual, basil, garlic, olive oil, but 150 00:06:27,672 --> 00:06:29,649 can you guess my secret ingredient? 151 00:06:29,836 --> 00:06:33,050 - Peanuts. - Yes. How did you know that? 152 00:06:38,003 --> 00:06:40,538 - Okay, let me think. What else? - You know what, sweetie? 153 00:06:40,638 --> 00:06:43,179 I woke up so early and I had a really long day at work. 154 00:06:43,543 --> 00:06:45,679 And then there was that whole thing where you tried to kill me. 155 00:06:45,982 --> 00:06:47,379 Can we please just go to sleep? 156 00:06:47,559 --> 00:06:50,180 No, I clearly need to know more about you. 157 00:06:50,545 --> 00:06:52,734 Let's do firsts. First kiss? 158 00:06:53,175 --> 00:06:54,879 Dale Harris, second grade. 159 00:06:54,979 --> 00:06:56,452 Wait, you're talking like peck on the cheek 160 00:06:56,552 --> 00:06:58,198 or a full-on passionate making out? 161 00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:00,479 - Passionate making out. - Okay, yeah, Dale Harris, second grade. 162 00:07:01,527 --> 00:07:02,680 First time you had sex. 163 00:07:03,076 --> 00:07:04,776 - Dale Harris, second... - Stop it. 164 00:07:05,123 --> 00:07:07,079 Billy Devito, sophomore year of college. 165 00:07:07,292 --> 00:07:08,178 Prude. 166 00:07:08,438 --> 00:07:10,476 Molly McKenzie, junior year of high school. 167 00:07:10,663 --> 00:07:11,580 Slut. 168 00:07:12,435 --> 00:07:14,782 Robin just needs to see this new side of you. 169 00:07:14,979 --> 00:07:17,180 - So just call her up? - Just call her up. 170 00:07:19,769 --> 00:07:20,480 It's... 171 00:07:25,722 --> 00:07:27,680 She wasn't there. I left a voice mail. 172 00:07:28,173 --> 00:07:30,182 You left a voice, but it wasn't male. 173 00:07:31,204 --> 00:07:34,795 Barney, I don't get it. You've called a million girls a million times. 174 00:07:34,908 --> 00:07:36,479 Yeah, but those were just booty calls. 175 00:07:36,608 --> 00:07:39,005 On a booty call, you barely even have to talk. 176 00:07:39,615 --> 00:07:41,080 Around 9:00 p. m., you say... 177 00:07:41,306 --> 00:07:43,180 Hey, baby, it's Barney. You busy tonight? 178 00:07:43,615 --> 00:07:45,479 Sweet. See you in half an hour? 179 00:07:45,717 --> 00:07:46,580 Can't wait. 180 00:07:47,022 --> 00:07:49,179 But the later it gets, the fewer words you need. 181 00:07:49,491 --> 00:07:50,479 Barney. Busy? 182 00:07:50,759 --> 00:07:51,680 Sweet. 183 00:07:52,609 --> 00:07:53,880 And by 3:00 in the morning... 184 00:08:00,253 --> 00:08:01,380 Sweet. 185 00:08:02,319 --> 00:08:03,495 A question mark? 186 00:08:03,643 --> 00:08:05,983 You got laid off a question mark? 187 00:08:09,063 --> 00:08:11,780 It's no worse than your super-obvious code words. 188 00:08:13,420 --> 00:08:15,582 - Rhinoceros. - We have to go. 189 00:08:16,858 --> 00:08:18,880 Great. Now we need a new code word. 190 00:08:20,971 --> 00:08:22,839 It's her, it's Robin. What do I do? 191 00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:26,905 Robin... great to hear from you. 192 00:08:27,005 --> 00:08:28,880 To what do I owe the pleasure? 193 00:08:29,313 --> 00:08:32,080 You called, went... and hung up. 194 00:08:32,283 --> 00:08:33,183 What do you want? 195 00:08:33,512 --> 00:08:34,582 Help me! 196 00:08:35,616 --> 00:08:37,080 Just ask her something. 197 00:08:38,457 --> 00:08:40,180 How are you feeling today? 198 00:08:40,842 --> 00:08:41,580 Fine. 199 00:08:41,846 --> 00:08:43,080 Something personal. 200 00:08:45,302 --> 00:08:48,487 At what age did you first get your period? 201 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:50,759 Did you just ask me about my period? 202 00:08:50,859 --> 00:08:52,780 No, I did not. 203 00:08:53,924 --> 00:08:55,480 Look, Barney, I'm at work right now. 204 00:08:55,670 --> 00:08:57,180 Just ask her out. 205 00:08:59,059 --> 00:09:01,580 Robin, I was wondering if... 206 00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:05,380 Nothing. Gotta go. Bye. 207 00:09:07,822 --> 00:09:09,559 That was just a practical joke. 208 00:09:09,756 --> 00:09:11,390 I'm not really in love with Robin. 209 00:09:11,596 --> 00:09:13,700 You should've seen the look on your face. 210 00:09:13,831 --> 00:09:16,396 There's cameras right there and there and there. 211 00:09:17,823 --> 00:09:21,880 What a legendary prank that we're never going to speak of again. 212 00:09:27,412 --> 00:09:28,680 Gross. 213 00:09:31,224 --> 00:09:32,436 First movie you ever saw. 214 00:09:32,576 --> 00:09:34,180 Benji, 1981. 215 00:09:35,140 --> 00:09:37,480 I watched it recently with Lucy and I just thought, 216 00:09:37,822 --> 00:09:40,580 Oh, that dog is so dead right now. 217 00:09:41,718 --> 00:09:42,479 What about you? 218 00:09:42,723 --> 00:09:45,980 My dad took me to an old drive-in to see the original Star Wars. 219 00:09:46,407 --> 00:09:48,579 You know, I've actually never seen Star Wars. 220 00:09:48,708 --> 00:09:51,079 She's never seen Star Wars?! 221 00:09:51,332 --> 00:09:52,750 Ted, the only people in the universe 222 00:09:52,844 --> 00:09:55,342 who haven't see Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars, 223 00:09:55,442 --> 00:09:56,805 and that's 'cause they lived them, Ted! 224 00:09:56,905 --> 00:09:58,579 That's 'cause they lived the Star Wars. 225 00:09:58,679 --> 00:09:59,879 You've got to calm down. 226 00:10:00,027 --> 00:10:03,081 I told you. I told you, you didn't know this girl well enough. 227 00:10:03,181 --> 00:10:05,110 What if you show it to her and she doesn't like it? 228 00:10:05,232 --> 00:10:06,594 Dude, it's just a movie. 229 00:10:06,694 --> 00:10:09,267 Ted, Star Wars is your all-time favorite movie, 230 00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:11,774 and whether or not Stella likes it is actually important. 231 00:10:11,874 --> 00:10:14,440 It's like, it's a test of how compatible you guys are. 232 00:10:14,540 --> 00:10:16,553 Marshall, it's just a movie. 233 00:10:16,769 --> 00:10:18,352 It's just a movie. 234 00:10:18,534 --> 00:10:22,522 121 awesome minutes later 235 00:10:23,521 --> 00:10:24,952 Okay, if Stella doesn't like this movie, 236 00:10:25,052 --> 00:10:27,060 - I can't marry her. - No, you can't. 237 00:10:27,399 --> 00:10:30,084 - You want to watch it again? - Yes, I do. 238 00:10:37,129 --> 00:10:38,779 Wait, where are the boys? I thought this was a group thing. 239 00:10:38,978 --> 00:10:40,079 Yeah, I lied. 240 00:10:40,206 --> 00:10:41,979 They're not coming and I'm about to leave. 241 00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:44,080 - Why? - Because... 242 00:10:44,356 --> 00:10:46,580 they're not in love with Robin, and neither am I. 243 00:10:47,530 --> 00:10:49,380 I mean, she's great and sweet. 244 00:10:49,812 --> 00:10:52,014 I'm not going to pretend that I hen't noticed her body, but 245 00:10:52,296 --> 00:10:54,521 this is off topic. Good luck. 246 00:10:54,747 --> 00:10:56,380 Wait... I can't do this. 247 00:10:56,540 --> 00:10:57,808 She'll never take me seriously. 248 00:10:57,908 --> 00:10:59,761 She thinks I'm some womanizing idiot. 249 00:11:00,484 --> 00:11:02,380 We both know you're more than that. 250 00:11:02,564 --> 00:11:05,380 Okay, just show Robin the Barney I met the other day. 251 00:11:05,982 --> 00:11:08,546 You mean the insecure, touchy-feely she-male 252 00:11:08,646 --> 00:11:10,245 who sounded alarmingly close to Ted? 253 00:11:11,447 --> 00:11:13,380 Ted hit that for over a year. 254 00:11:14,505 --> 00:11:15,380 Wish me luck. 255 00:11:16,692 --> 00:11:18,655 I just thought it'd be fun to watch a movie tonight, 256 00:11:18,755 --> 00:11:20,833 and since you've never seen Star Wars, 257 00:11:20,927 --> 00:11:22,379 I figured why not? 258 00:11:22,664 --> 00:11:23,580 No big deal. 259 00:11:24,291 --> 00:11:25,080 It's pretty good. 260 00:11:25,737 --> 00:11:26,817 Sounds like a plan. 261 00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,772 Hey, I'm just gonna grab a beer. You want one? 262 00:11:34,872 --> 00:11:36,879 The movie's already started, so... 263 00:11:37,043 --> 00:11:38,761 Yeah, it's just some words flying through space. 264 00:11:38,861 --> 00:11:40,179 I mean, I'm not going to read that anyway. 265 00:11:40,520 --> 00:11:41,412 Oh, my God 266 00:11:41,646 --> 00:11:43,380 Off to a bad start. 267 00:11:44,078 --> 00:11:45,580 What are you doing down there? 268 00:11:45,759 --> 00:11:48,294 I'm making sure my best friend is marrying the right woman. 269 00:11:48,394 --> 00:11:49,566 That's what I'm doing. 270 00:11:49,666 --> 00:11:51,717 Dude, what the hell are you doing, hiding behind the couch? 271 00:11:51,829 --> 00:11:53,380 You need to get a job. 272 00:11:55,238 --> 00:11:57,373 - I really do, don't I? - Yeah. 273 00:11:58,678 --> 00:12:01,720 So, Robin. Tell me about your day, 274 00:12:02,424 --> 00:12:03,619 and not just what happened, 275 00:12:03,835 --> 00:12:06,080 how you felt about what happened. 276 00:12:06,831 --> 00:12:07,580 What? 277 00:12:07,854 --> 00:12:09,279 I'm not looking to problem-solve, 278 00:12:09,450 --> 00:12:10,780 I'm just looking to listen. 279 00:12:12,878 --> 00:12:14,279 Why are you acting like this? 280 00:12:14,407 --> 00:12:15,180 Like what? 281 00:12:15,285 --> 00:12:18,819 You're being super nice. It's freaking me out. 282 00:12:19,110 --> 00:12:22,687 Be gross, be inappropriate. Be Barney. 283 00:12:23,129 --> 00:12:24,280 I'm being Barney, 284 00:12:25,063 --> 00:12:27,537 and I think tonight's going to be 285 00:12:27,638 --> 00:12:29,880 de... wait for it... lightful. 286 00:12:31,140 --> 00:12:32,267 Delightful. 287 00:12:33,093 --> 00:12:33,980 Right. 288 00:12:37,687 --> 00:12:39,480 So I went to the chiropractor yesterday. 289 00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:43,280 That guy bent me over the table and pounded me for a good hour. 290 00:12:46,517 --> 00:12:48,423 Is insurance going to cover that? Sometimes they don't. 291 00:12:49,658 --> 00:12:50,680 That's it? 292 00:12:51,320 --> 00:12:52,180 Okay. 293 00:12:53,873 --> 00:12:56,279 Well... today I was at the dentist. 294 00:12:56,493 --> 00:13:00,080 That guy drilled me all day long. 295 00:13:01,347 --> 00:13:02,780 He drilled me hard. 296 00:13:03,554 --> 00:13:05,580 He filled all of my cavities. 297 00:13:05,923 --> 00:13:06,980 Come on, man. 298 00:13:07,528 --> 00:13:10,477 - Well, your teeth look fantastic. - Who are you? 299 00:13:18,810 --> 00:13:19,780 What? 300 00:13:20,960 --> 00:13:21,680 Nothing. 301 00:13:23,120 --> 00:13:24,280 You were staring at me. 302 00:13:26,236 --> 00:13:27,880 You look really beautiful tonight. 303 00:13:29,814 --> 00:13:31,879 You don't look so bad yourself, mister. 304 00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:34,080 Yeah, great scene, great scene. 305 00:13:36,844 --> 00:13:38,543 Star Wars fun fact number seven... 306 00:13:38,740 --> 00:13:40,055 George Lucas based the film's structure 307 00:13:40,155 --> 00:13:42,880 on Akira Kurosawa's The Hidden Fortress. 308 00:13:43,416 --> 00:13:45,946 He also owes a debt to Joseph Campbell's work with comparative mythology. 309 00:13:46,046 --> 00:13:48,209 Yeah, Ted, I'm losing wood over here. 310 00:13:48,309 --> 00:13:49,700 What's going on? 311 00:13:49,800 --> 00:13:50,676 Nothing. 312 00:13:52,296 --> 00:13:56,033 Wait, it's really important to you that I like this movie, isn't it? 313 00:13:59,282 --> 00:14:02,080 Well, I'm not gonna like it with you staring at me the whole time. 314 00:14:02,852 --> 00:14:04,730 Go to your room and I will come get you when it's over. 315 00:14:04,830 --> 00:14:05,923 - Stella. - Go. 316 00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:15,121 Should I leave, too? 317 00:14:15,844 --> 00:14:17,780 What part...? 318 00:14:25,620 --> 00:14:26,465 Thanks. 319 00:14:27,742 --> 00:14:28,480 Nothing? 320 00:14:28,953 --> 00:14:30,279 Not even a glance? 321 00:14:30,428 --> 00:14:34,178 I mean, even I was thinking about rocking a motorboat on those bad boys. 322 00:14:34,394 --> 00:14:36,280 What the hell is wrong with you, Barney? 323 00:14:37,023 --> 00:14:39,014 I don't always want to be that guy. 324 00:14:39,155 --> 00:14:42,580 Sometimes I want to be someone you can have an actual conversation with. 325 00:14:43,279 --> 00:14:46,580 Now, tell me something about you that I don't know yet. 326 00:14:47,166 --> 00:14:47,880 Seriously. 327 00:14:49,842 --> 00:14:50,580 Okay. 328 00:14:53,127 --> 00:14:55,897 There's a job opening at a new cable network that would be... 329 00:14:56,310 --> 00:14:57,580 perfect for me... 330 00:14:58,066 --> 00:15:00,062 completely legit world news, 331 00:15:00,162 --> 00:15:02,058 interviews with people who matter... 332 00:15:03,401 --> 00:15:04,980 but I decided I'm not going to apply. 333 00:15:05,232 --> 00:15:06,179 Why not? 334 00:15:06,279 --> 00:15:07,116 Because I'm a joke. 335 00:15:07,557 --> 00:15:10,849 I'm just the scary news lady from some stupid local news channel. 336 00:15:11,012 --> 00:15:13,680 Hey, we both know you're more than that. 337 00:15:14,994 --> 00:15:16,280 Promise me you'll apply. 338 00:15:17,581 --> 00:15:20,407 - Barney, it's not as easy... - Promise me you'll apply. 339 00:15:22,994 --> 00:15:23,879 Okay. 340 00:15:24,149 --> 00:15:25,180 I promise. 341 00:15:27,129 --> 00:15:29,308 Okay, she's up to the scene where Luke, 342 00:15:29,408 --> 00:15:31,779 Leia, Han and Chewy escape from the Death Star's trash compactor. 343 00:15:32,021 --> 00:15:35,280 - Great scene. - Great scene. 344 00:15:37,709 --> 00:15:39,480 Okay, we should have just heard... 345 00:15:44,310 --> 00:15:45,785 but Stella didn't make a peep. 346 00:15:46,094 --> 00:15:47,780 - I'm gonna take a look. - All right. 347 00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:58,509 She's not even watching. She's texting. 348 00:15:58,847 --> 00:16:00,143 I'll tell her you still want to be friends. 349 00:16:00,243 --> 00:16:01,645 I don't believe this. 350 00:16:01,890 --> 00:16:03,569 I don't believe this, she knows this is important to me. 351 00:16:03,669 --> 00:16:05,060 She's blatantly... 352 00:16:08,354 --> 00:16:10,380 "Stop watching me, jackasses." 353 00:16:12,178 --> 00:16:15,080 - To taking chances. - To taking chances. 354 00:16:17,953 --> 00:16:19,437 You know, Robin, there's actually something I, 355 00:16:19,537 --> 00:16:21,080 I do want to talk to you about. 356 00:16:21,438 --> 00:16:23,780 - Last call. - Of course it is. 357 00:16:24,143 --> 00:16:25,180 One more for the road? 358 00:16:25,523 --> 00:16:26,480 Yeah, why not? 359 00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:27,980 Hold that thought? 360 00:16:30,632 --> 00:16:31,680 I will. 361 00:16:40,306 --> 00:16:41,079 I loved it. 362 00:16:41,179 --> 00:16:45,404 Yes! Yes, I am marrying a woman who is not only hot 363 00:16:45,504 --> 00:16:48,025 but loves Star Wars. That's the dream. 364 00:16:50,095 --> 00:16:50,879 What was that? 365 00:16:50,979 --> 00:16:54,180 I was high-fiving 15-Year-Old me through the space- time continuum. 366 00:16:54,330 --> 00:16:55,030 We did it. 367 00:16:55,130 --> 00:16:57,649 We did it, you masturbating little bastard. 368 00:16:58,482 --> 00:17:00,053 Champagne for everybody. 369 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:04,180 It was so good. 370 00:17:04,482 --> 00:17:06,479 - You hated it, didn't you? - It's so stupid. 371 00:17:06,613 --> 00:17:08,914 I mean, first of all, how do they understand that walking... 372 00:17:09,014 --> 00:17:10,379 bear they hang around with all the time? 373 00:17:10,479 --> 00:17:11,880 - Wookiee. - Yeah, he goes... 374 00:17:14,098 --> 00:17:16,634 And they're all like, "that's a good point, Bear, let's try that." 375 00:17:16,734 --> 00:17:18,000 Okay, he's a Wookiee, 376 00:17:18,100 --> 00:17:20,480 and his kind is actually more intelligent than they appear. 377 00:17:21,833 --> 00:17:25,480 Look, Stella, that is Ted's favorite movie of all time. 378 00:17:25,866 --> 00:17:27,980 He watches it when he's home sick with the flu. 379 00:17:28,336 --> 00:17:30,890 He watches it on rainy Sunday afternoons in the fall. 380 00:17:30,984 --> 00:17:33,480 He... he watches it on Christmas Eve. 381 00:17:34,458 --> 00:17:37,280 Ted watches Star Wars in sickness and in health, 382 00:17:37,380 --> 00:17:39,480 in good times and in bad. 383 00:17:40,524 --> 00:17:41,913 Do you really think that you can pretend 384 00:17:42,013 --> 00:17:45,880 to like a movie that you actually hate for the rest of your life? 385 00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:51,418 I do. 386 00:17:53,484 --> 00:17:55,080 Well, then, Ted's a lucky guy. 387 00:18:00,104 --> 00:18:01,005 Bear. 388 00:18:05,177 --> 00:18:06,180 So, here's the deal. 389 00:18:06,632 --> 00:18:09,580 April, have... you met Barney? 390 00:18:09,834 --> 00:18:10,780 Hi, Barney. 391 00:18:11,515 --> 00:18:13,650 - Hum.. Hello. - April just finished her shift, 392 00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:15,480 and she's looking to blow off some steam. 393 00:18:17,650 --> 00:18:19,480 Would you excuse us for one sec? 394 00:18:20,871 --> 00:18:21,652 What are you doing? 395 00:18:21,774 --> 00:18:23,136 Well, you were so nice to me tonight, 396 00:18:23,343 --> 00:18:26,180 I wanted to return the favor, wingwoman-style. 397 00:18:27,160 --> 00:18:28,822 So, as I was saying, April, Barney... 398 00:18:28,922 --> 00:18:30,680 is the Yankees' new second-baseman. 399 00:18:30,968 --> 00:18:32,236 And Barney, April asked 400 00:18:32,336 --> 00:18:36,780 if tomorrow, you could hit a goal for her during the baseball match. 401 00:18:37,306 --> 00:18:38,580 You can't make this stuff up. 402 00:18:40,086 --> 00:18:41,780 So, you two kids have fun. 403 00:18:44,867 --> 00:18:46,680 So are you... nervous about the game? 404 00:18:46,952 --> 00:18:49,036 Yeah, I'm nervous for the other team 405 00:18:50,030 --> 00:18:52,080 'cause when I step up to that plate... 406 00:18:54,715 --> 00:18:56,866 Look, April, I am not a New York Yankee. 407 00:18:57,401 --> 00:19:00,227 Any other night, I would probably try to convince you that I am, but I'm not. 408 00:19:00,327 --> 00:19:03,980 I'm just some guy who's in love with the girl that just left, 409 00:19:04,457 --> 00:19:07,280 and she's never going to feel the same way. 410 00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:10,680 So I'm just going to go. 411 00:19:11,990 --> 00:19:13,079 And that was it. 412 00:19:13,389 --> 00:19:15,267 I'm so sorry, Barney. 413 00:19:16,959 --> 00:19:18,480 But you can't give up. 414 00:19:18,809 --> 00:19:20,086 You know, it may take some time, 415 00:19:20,186 --> 00:19:22,218 but once Robin really sees the new you... 416 00:19:22,302 --> 00:19:25,016 Barney...when my family gets to Yankee Stadium, 417 00:19:25,255 --> 00:19:26,879 are the tickets under your name or mine? 418 00:19:27,058 --> 00:19:29,546 My name, and tell your nephews to bring their mitts. 419 00:19:29,646 --> 00:19:31,480 They're going to be in foul ball country. 420 00:19:33,969 --> 00:19:34,679 Come on. 421 00:19:34,823 --> 00:19:37,380 Okay, well, the Robin stuff was completely true. 422 00:19:38,494 --> 00:19:39,680 Damn it, Barney. 423 00:19:39,847 --> 00:19:41,913 I mean, for the last time, 424 00:19:42,054 --> 00:19:45,490 you can't, you can't be in love with Robin and 425 00:19:45,640 --> 00:19:48,179 still be sleeping with every bimbo on the planet. 426 00:19:48,570 --> 00:19:50,280 You have to choose right now. 427 00:19:52,395 --> 00:19:53,813 - I choose bimbos. - What ? 428 00:19:53,935 --> 00:19:56,380 Hey, Lily, bimbos make me happy. 429 00:19:56,611 --> 00:19:58,280 Bimbos make me feel alive. 430 00:19:58,949 --> 00:20:02,580 Bimbos make me want to pretend to be a better man. 431 00:20:03,214 --> 00:20:05,045 This whole thing with Robin was just a fling, 432 00:20:05,145 --> 00:20:08,580 but at the end of the day, my heart belongs to bimbos. 433 00:20:08,754 --> 00:20:12,015 No... this is just a defense mechanism because 434 00:20:12,115 --> 00:20:15,282 you're afraid of getting hurt. You're just confused. 435 00:20:15,382 --> 00:20:17,395 Oh, I'm not confused, Lily. 436 00:20:17,761 --> 00:20:19,180 You know who is confused? 437 00:20:19,818 --> 00:20:20,630 Bimbos. 438 00:20:21,165 --> 00:20:22,279 They're easily confused. 439 00:20:22,461 --> 00:20:25,380 It's one of the thousand little things I love about them. 440 00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:29,079 I love their vacant, trusting stares, 441 00:20:29,179 --> 00:20:31,888 their sluggish, unencumbered minds; 442 00:20:32,217 --> 00:20:34,501 their unresolved daddy issues. 443 00:20:34,839 --> 00:20:37,411 I love them, Lily, and they love me. 444 00:20:37,937 --> 00:20:41,834 Bimbos have always been there for me, through thick and thin. 445 00:20:42,191 --> 00:20:43,056 Mostly thin. 446 00:20:43,253 --> 00:20:45,782 B- man don't do thick crust. What up? 447 00:20:45,951 --> 00:20:47,280 See you, Barney. 448 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:19,148 - Chimichunga. - We have to go. 33184

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