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Now kids, when aunt Robin
was a teenager,
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00:00:02,700 --> 00:00:03,800
she was, well,
3
00:00:04,400 --> 00:00:05,600
a Canadian pop star.
4
00:00:06,700 --> 00:00:09,701
But by 2008, she was
an entirely different person...
5
00:00:14,601 --> 00:00:17,901
Coming up next:
Is your baby trying to kill you?
6
00:00:18,901 --> 00:00:21,402
...which made the events of that week
all the more surprising.
7
00:00:21,802 --> 00:00:24,202
So, I go in this morning and,
brr, it's freezing!
8
00:00:24,302 --> 00:00:26,802
So I walk over there, and
I don't know why I'm still talking,
9
00:00:26,902 --> 00:00:29,302
because clearly, we're all
asking the same question,
10
00:00:29,402 --> 00:00:31,802
What in God's creation
is going on with Robin's breasts?
11
00:00:31,902 --> 00:00:34,603
I know! Right?
Isn't it amazing?
12
00:00:34,703 --> 00:00:36,903
I spent half an hour
making this happen.
13
00:00:37,003 --> 00:00:38,503
There's tape in there,
cotton balls,
14
00:00:38,603 --> 00:00:40,403
half of a Nerf football,
but it works, right?
15
00:00:40,903 --> 00:00:42,303
Totally.
What's the occasion?
16
00:00:42,703 --> 00:00:45,604
And old friend from Canada is in town
and I'm meeting him for a drink.
17
00:00:46,404 --> 00:00:48,104
Somebody you went
to Degrassi with?
18
00:00:48,504 --> 00:00:51,504
No. Actually,
he was my first boyfriend.
19
00:00:52,204 --> 00:00:56,304
Simon. I thought he was
the coolest guy ever.
20
00:00:56,604 --> 00:00:59,805
He smelled like Drakkar.
He could ollie on a skateboard.
21
00:00:59,905 --> 00:01:04,905
And he had the most amazing collection
of Hard Rock Caf๏ฟฝ T-shirts.
22
00:01:05,505 --> 00:01:07,905
We spent the whole summer
madly in love.
23
00:01:08,705 --> 00:01:10,706
Tell me more.
Tell me more.
24
00:01:10,806 --> 00:01:12,406
Like, did he have a car?
25
00:01:13,406 --> 00:01:15,706
So he's the guy who...
26
00:01:16,006 --> 00:01:18,206
How shall I say this
like a gentleman?
27
00:01:18,606 --> 00:01:20,506
Robin, did he take
your maple leaf?
28
00:01:21,806 --> 00:01:23,307
No, it wasn't like that.
29
00:01:23,507 --> 00:01:26,807
Sounds to me like he gave you
your first "O, Canada!" face.
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00:01:27,707 --> 00:01:30,007
This went on
for a really long time.
31
00:01:30,207 --> 00:01:32,307
Some of them jokes
were elegant and well-crafted...
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00:01:32,407 --> 00:01:36,808
Wait, wait. Did he break up with you
and tell you he's just not that Inuit?
33
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:40,708
...others were crude,
and ill-formed...
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00:01:40,908 --> 00:01:43,508
Um, something about fur trapping.
35
00:01:44,508 --> 00:01:46,808
...and others were obvious,
but needed to be said...
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00:01:47,008 --> 00:01:49,009
Did you ride his Zamboni?
37
00:01:51,509 --> 00:01:53,609
Wait, wait, wait.
Did he...?
38
00:01:55,609 --> 00:01:56,409
I think I'm out.
39
00:01:57,209 --> 00:01:59,309
Yeah, I'm also "oot."
40
00:02:00,309 --> 00:02:02,110
Okay, now I'm really out.
41
00:02:02,610 --> 00:02:04,510
Well, I'm sorry, guys.
It was all very tame.
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00:02:04,610 --> 00:02:06,310
We only dated for
a week and a half.
43
00:02:07,110 --> 00:02:09,010
I thought you said
you were together all summer.
44
00:02:09,110 --> 00:02:12,310
Yeah. Summer in Canada is
pretty much the last week of July.
45
00:02:12,410 --> 00:02:15,211
Anyway, one night, his band
just finish playing this gig...
46
00:02:20,411 --> 00:02:22,011
Oh, my God! Simon.
47
00:02:22,911 --> 00:02:25,211
That was such a good show.
48
00:02:25,611 --> 00:02:28,012
You guys totally rocked out.
49
00:02:28,412 --> 00:02:30,112
Yeah. I know.
50
00:02:30,812 --> 00:02:33,612
I figure we're about four or five gigs
away from really exploding.
51
00:02:34,912 --> 00:02:36,412
We're gonna be big, babe.
52
00:02:36,512 --> 00:02:38,212
I mean,
like Crash-Test-Dummies big.
53
00:02:40,213 --> 00:02:42,613
- So, that everything?
- Yeah.
54
00:02:45,713 --> 00:02:46,613
Listen, babe...
55
00:02:48,013 --> 00:02:49,313
It's over.
56
00:02:51,313 --> 00:02:52,014
What?
57
00:02:52,414 --> 00:02:54,414
I'm getting back together
with Louise Marsh.
58
00:02:55,814 --> 00:02:57,414
Louise Marsh?!
59
00:02:57,514 --> 00:02:59,914
That's a whore's name
if I ever heard one.
60
00:03:00,014 --> 00:03:03,014
Yeah, why would he want to get back
together with Louise Marsh?
61
00:03:03,814 --> 00:03:05,415
Well, the thing is...
62
00:03:07,115 --> 00:03:08,815
her folks just put in a pool.
63
00:03:10,715 --> 00:03:13,015
Totally... I get it.
64
00:03:13,515 --> 00:03:16,215
Pools are great.
Swimming's awesome.
65
00:03:17,916 --> 00:03:19,416
We have a sprinkler.
66
00:03:19,216 --> 00:03:20,716
Run right through it.
67
00:03:22,816 --> 00:03:24,016
Well, I should go.
68
00:03:27,416 --> 00:03:28,316
Babe, wait.
69
00:03:30,117 --> 00:03:31,017
Yeah, Simon?
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00:03:31,917 --> 00:03:33,517
You forgot to load
the drum set.
71
00:03:36,217 --> 00:03:38,617
Tell me you did not
load the drum set.
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00:03:39,317 --> 00:03:40,017
I did.
73
00:03:41,917 --> 00:03:43,918
And now he's coming here?
Robin,
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00:03:44,018 --> 00:03:45,418
why do you want
to see this guy?
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00:03:45,518 --> 00:03:47,818
Oh! I know why.
76
00:03:47,918 --> 00:03:49,318
You're gonna win,
aren't you?
77
00:03:49,718 --> 00:03:52,218
I have no idea
what you're talking about.
78
00:03:52,318 --> 00:03:54,418
Yes, you do. Whenever you haven't
seen someone for a long time,
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00:03:54,518 --> 00:03:56,119
no matter how much you want
to deny it, there's always
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00:03:56,219 --> 00:03:58,019
a clear winner
and a clear loser.
81
00:03:58,519 --> 00:03:59,719
Well, since you brought it up,
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00:03:59,819 --> 00:04:00,819
let's add up the points.
83
00:04:01,319 --> 00:04:03,019
You're starting out
with two big ones right there.
84
00:04:03,719 --> 00:04:05,119
Thank you. Okay.
85
00:04:05,419 --> 00:04:07,219
So, Simon still lives
with his mom.
86
00:04:07,319 --> 00:04:08,420
Point Robin.
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00:04:08,620 --> 00:04:09,920
He never became
a rock star.
88
00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:10,820
Point Robin.
89
00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,620
He now works at a water slide
park outside of Ottawa.
90
00:04:14,020 --> 00:04:15,120
- Point Simon.
- Wait.
91
00:04:16,220 --> 00:04:17,620
- Do they have a wave pool?
- No.
92
00:04:17,820 --> 00:04:19,020
Ah. Point Robin.
93
00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:21,321
That's five-zip.
There's no coming back from that.
94
00:04:21,521 --> 00:04:25,021
Yeah, he's going down. I mean,
unless somehow, he got hotter.
95
00:04:27,121 --> 00:04:27,921
There he is.
96
00:04:28,321 --> 00:04:31,021
And sure enough,
there was a clear winner,
97
00:04:31,421 --> 00:04:33,122
and a clear loser.
98
00:04:36,622 --> 00:04:38,622
It just wasn't clear
to everybody.
99
00:04:39,322 --> 00:04:40,222
Hey, babe.
100
00:04:41,722 --> 00:04:43,022
Oh, my God.
101
00:05:00,824 --> 00:05:02,924
Okay, what the hell
just happened?
102
00:05:03,224 --> 00:05:05,624
Oh, come on,
it wasn't so bad, was it?
103
00:05:07,224 --> 00:05:10,424
- Hey, Simon.
- Wow, look at you.
104
00:05:11,525 --> 00:05:12,525
You got old.
105
00:05:14,125 --> 00:05:16,825
Yeah. You look great.
106
00:05:17,125 --> 00:05:19,125
You got hotter,
like that's possible.
107
00:05:22,225 --> 00:05:25,226
Look, I know it didn't go
as planned, but,
108
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:26,526
I can't help it.
109
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,026
I mean...
110
00:05:28,226 --> 00:05:29,026
he's still got it.
111
00:05:30,426 --> 00:05:32,426
Whoa! Four bucks for a brew?
112
00:05:32,826 --> 00:05:35,826
What a rip.
Good think I'm packing.
113
00:05:39,227 --> 00:05:40,827
So he's not a snob.
114
00:05:41,227 --> 00:05:43,627
He's from a different part
of Canada, you know?
115
00:05:43,727 --> 00:05:46,727
The maple leaf flag
on the back of the pickup truck?
116
00:05:46,827 --> 00:05:49,628
He's Red Province.
He's from the Deep North.
117
00:05:50,128 --> 00:05:52,828
The thing is, we gave you
so many opportunities.
118
00:05:53,628 --> 00:05:56,928
So, Simon, Robin's a bit of a local
celebrity here in New York.
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00:05:57,528 --> 00:06:00,228
She's the lead anchor
at Metro News One.
120
00:06:00,328 --> 00:06:02,529
- Tell him, Robin.
- No. It's stupid.
121
00:06:02,629 --> 00:06:04,229
It's not cool,
like Simon's shirt.
122
00:06:06,029 --> 00:06:10,229
I'm sorry, Simon. Here we are
nattering on about our big celebrity.
123
00:06:10,329 --> 00:06:11,529
What do you do for a living?
124
00:06:11,729 --> 00:06:14,129
Oh, I work at the Splish Splash
Ottawa Water Slide Park.
125
00:06:15,330 --> 00:06:18,630
A water slide park. That sure is
different than what Robin does.
126
00:06:18,830 --> 00:06:21,430
Yeah, it is...
because I save lives.
127
00:06:22,830 --> 00:06:25,830
If I'm not sitting in that stool
at the top of the slide, going...
128
00:06:26,530 --> 00:06:27,331
Go...
129
00:06:28,231 --> 00:06:29,031
Go...
130
00:06:29,931 --> 00:06:30,731
Go...
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00:06:31,231 --> 00:06:32,131
people die.
132
00:06:33,631 --> 00:06:35,031
What, you think
it's so easy?
133
00:06:35,331 --> 00:06:36,131
You try it.
134
00:06:39,131 --> 00:06:40,432
- Go.
- You didn't put your hand up
135
00:06:40,532 --> 00:06:41,332
kid just died.
136
00:06:41,732 --> 00:06:43,332
- No, I didn't know...
- Another kid just went,
137
00:06:43,432 --> 00:06:44,132
he died too.
138
00:06:44,632 --> 00:06:45,532
Oh, well, sure.
I mean, if I was actually...
139
00:06:45,632 --> 00:06:47,032
Another kid just went,
140
00:06:47,132 --> 00:06:49,332
now you've got a pile-up and Robin's
got something to report on the news.
141
00:06:49,432 --> 00:06:52,132
This just in: My friend, Ted,
just killed a bunch of kids today.
142
00:06:54,033 --> 00:06:56,433
Well, that's cool.
You got to pay the bills somehow
143
00:06:56,533 --> 00:06:59,333
since your whole music thing
didn't really pan out, did it?
144
00:06:59,533 --> 00:07:01,333
Well, it hasn't panned out yet,
but the band's still going.
145
00:07:01,933 --> 00:07:04,533
About four or five gigs away
from really exploding.
146
00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:06,934
The Foreskins are still playing?
147
00:07:08,234 --> 00:07:09,534
The Foreskins?
148
00:07:10,434 --> 00:07:11,834
How'd you guys come up
with that name?
149
00:07:13,334 --> 00:07:16,634
Well, there's four of us,
and we play without shirts.
150
00:07:18,135 --> 00:07:19,735
Babe, seriously.
151
00:07:20,735 --> 00:07:22,335
I know. I'm sorry.
152
00:07:24,235 --> 00:07:25,835
I know. I'm sorry.
153
00:07:26,435 --> 00:07:28,735
But you guys just don't understand.
154
00:07:28,835 --> 00:07:30,636
The fact that he kept
the band going...
155
00:07:30,736 --> 00:07:31,636
that's impressive.
156
00:07:31,936 --> 00:07:33,736
I mean, I gave up
my musical dream.
157
00:07:34,236 --> 00:07:38,036
Which brings us to the most important
piece of information from tonight.
158
00:07:40,036 --> 00:07:42,036
So, Simon,
how did you guys meet?
159
00:07:42,236 --> 00:07:43,737
Oh, I was in her video.
160
00:07:43,837 --> 00:07:46,637
Starred in it is more like it.
161
00:07:46,737 --> 00:07:48,737
Once you win Mr. Teen Winnipeg,
162
00:07:48,737 --> 00:07:51,037
everybody wants a piece
of the moneymaker.
163
00:07:52,137 --> 00:07:55,237
I'm sorry. I've seen "Let's Go to
the Mall" about a thousand times,
164
00:07:55,337 --> 00:07:57,738
- and you, sir, are not in it.
- No, I was in the other one.
165
00:07:58,838 --> 00:08:00,138
There's another video?!
166
00:08:05,338 --> 00:08:06,438
Robin, seriously,
167
00:08:07,138 --> 00:08:09,739
just make this easier on yourself
and give us the tape.
168
00:08:11,939 --> 00:08:12,939
All right.
169
00:08:14,139 --> 00:08:15,639
You give me no choice.
170
00:08:15,939 --> 00:08:17,339
From this moment on,
171
00:08:17,439 --> 00:08:22,840
I will spend every waking minute
searching down this tape.
172
00:08:22,940 --> 00:08:25,240
I will not sleep.
I will not eat.
173
00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:30,440
My life will be a living hell of search
engines and overseas phone calls,
174
00:08:30,940 --> 00:08:34,041
chasing down something
that possibly can't be found.
175
00:08:35,341 --> 00:08:36,041
Okay.
176
00:08:37,941 --> 00:08:42,141
It's just... It was so hard to watch,
Robin. You're usually so cool.
177
00:08:42,441 --> 00:08:44,441
I don't know what's wrong with me.
178
00:08:44,541 --> 00:08:47,842
I'm sitting next to Simon,
and suddenly I'm 16 again.
179
00:08:48,042 --> 00:08:51,042
Oh, it's actually a common thing. When
you're around someone from your past,
180
00:08:51,142 --> 00:08:53,342
you kind of revert back to
who you were when you knew them.
181
00:08:53,842 --> 00:08:55,442
There's not really
a name for it, though.
182
00:08:55,542 --> 00:08:56,442
It's called "revertigo."
183
00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:58,342
Yeah, I don't know
about "revertigo."
184
00:08:59,142 --> 00:09:01,643
You know who gets
really bad revertigo?
185
00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:05,943
Lily when she around
her high school friend, Michelle.
186
00:09:06,343 --> 00:09:08,343
Michelle? She sounds hot.
187
00:09:08,743 --> 00:09:10,743
You don't know
about Lily and Michelle?
188
00:09:11,643 --> 00:09:13,544
No. What about Lily and Michelle?
189
00:09:13,744 --> 00:09:15,644
Oh, my friend,
you are in for a treat.
190
00:09:16,944 --> 00:09:18,444
- Hey, Lil?
- What?
191
00:09:18,544 --> 00:09:21,244
You know, I was just thinking, we haven't
seen your friend Michelle in a while.
192
00:09:21,444 --> 00:09:24,344
Oh, yeah. I'll give her a call,
see if she wants to hang out.
193
00:09:28,045 --> 00:09:29,945
What...
Do they make out?
194
00:09:30,245 --> 00:09:31,145
Better.
195
00:09:31,245 --> 00:09:32,945
- Comparable.
- Comparable.
196
00:09:33,545 --> 00:09:35,545
Whatever.
It's over. I lost.
197
00:09:36,945 --> 00:09:39,246
I guess you, uh,
you don't get second chance.
198
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:41,846
- I got a second chance.
- What happened?
199
00:09:42,146 --> 00:09:43,346
He came by my place tonight...
200
00:09:45,146 --> 00:09:46,946
Simon.
What are you doing here?
201
00:09:47,946 --> 00:09:50,247
I just feel like there's some
unfinished business between you and me.
202
00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:52,647
Seeing you now...
203
00:09:54,347 --> 00:09:55,947
has made me realize
that breaking up with you
204
00:09:56,047 --> 00:09:58,147
is the biggest mistake
I made in my entire life.
205
00:09:58,347 --> 00:10:00,347
Oh, I like where this is going.
206
00:10:01,647 --> 00:10:03,148
I know this is crazy,
207
00:10:03,248 --> 00:10:05,848
and I'm only in town
for a couple of days, but,
208
00:10:06,248 --> 00:10:07,248
do you want to go on a date?
209
00:10:07,548 --> 00:10:10,948
He asked you out?!
Oh, step into my web, Simon.
210
00:10:11,048 --> 00:10:12,048
The coup de grace.
211
00:10:12,248 --> 00:10:13,448
Finish him!
212
00:10:15,249 --> 00:10:17,149
I'd love to!
213
00:10:24,349 --> 00:10:26,349
Wait. You're going on
a date with Simon?
214
00:10:26,849 --> 00:10:28,550
That Simon? The one we met?
215
00:10:28,750 --> 00:10:31,150
Robin, this guy doesn't
deserve a second chance.
216
00:10:31,250 --> 00:10:33,250
Not after the way he treated you.
217
00:10:33,450 --> 00:10:36,050
That was ten years ago.
People evolve.
218
00:10:36,150 --> 00:10:39,250
I mean, are you the same person
that you were in high school?
219
00:10:39,850 --> 00:10:42,951
- Oh, hell, no!
- I think you're gonna enjoy this.
220
00:10:43,551 --> 00:10:44,751
That my girl Michelle?
221
00:10:44,851 --> 00:10:47,451
- Bitch, you know it!
- How she livin'?
222
00:10:47,551 --> 00:10:51,151
She living only way she know
how to. Large!
223
00:10:51,251 --> 00:10:53,452
Oh, girl, you gots to get
your drink on up in here.
224
00:10:53,652 --> 00:10:56,552
I'm hoping my fat ass can
hustle me up a vodka-Gatorade.
225
00:10:56,652 --> 00:10:58,352
For reals.
226
00:11:02,052 --> 00:11:04,752
I want her around all the time.
227
00:11:05,052 --> 00:11:07,953
I'd even consider not trying to sleep
with her if that's what it takes.
228
00:11:09,553 --> 00:11:11,753
Guys, I've decided
to seduce Michelle.
229
00:11:22,054 --> 00:11:23,954
Guys, that was great.
Let's take five.
230
00:11:24,154 --> 00:11:27,454
Hey, babe, did you like it after my bass
solo when I flicked my pick at you?
231
00:11:27,554 --> 00:11:28,454
That rocked.
232
00:11:30,554 --> 00:11:32,455
Uh, 'cause I'm gonna need
that pick back.
233
00:11:32,955 --> 00:11:35,155
Oh, uh, sure. Um...
234
00:11:35,355 --> 00:11:37,455
- It's cool. You'll find it later.
- Oh, cool.
235
00:11:37,755 --> 00:11:39,555
I wish I didn't have to go
to work in the morning.
236
00:11:39,755 --> 00:11:40,955
But, babe, you got to go to work.
237
00:11:41,655 --> 00:11:43,255
You got to play our demo
on your show.
238
00:11:43,555 --> 00:11:46,256
Oh, well, you know, it's not
a show. It's the news.
239
00:11:46,456 --> 00:11:49,356
Right. So you can be, like,
"Hey, did you hear there's some news?
240
00:11:49,456 --> 00:11:52,256
There's a rad band you guys
should check out." And then play it.
241
00:11:53,256 --> 00:11:54,956
Or just, like, the first three songs.
242
00:11:56,456 --> 00:11:58,657
And now it's time
for "Puppy Corner,"
243
00:11:58,757 --> 00:12:01,457
some little angels
looking for a new home,
244
00:12:01,557 --> 00:12:03,757
courtesy of
the Midtown Animal Shelter.
245
00:12:03,957 --> 00:12:10,458
# Murder climb aboard
the Murder Train #
246
00:12:11,958 --> 00:12:17,958
# Murder climb aboard
the Murder Train #
247
00:12:19,358 --> 00:12:22,159
Hey, a lot of puppies
got adopted.
248
00:12:22,759 --> 00:12:24,559
Of course, a lot of
the people calling in
249
00:12:24,659 --> 00:12:26,059
thought we were going
to kill them.
250
00:12:26,459 --> 00:12:29,959
Robin, your revertigo is really
starting to affect your work.
251
00:12:30,059 --> 00:12:30,959
What's revertigo?
252
00:12:31,159 --> 00:12:32,759
It's a stupid, made-up word
with no meaning.
253
00:12:33,059 --> 00:12:36,560
No. It's a phenomenon where, when
you're around people from your past,
254
00:12:36,660 --> 00:12:38,260
you start behaving like them.
255
00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:42,060
Oh. One example of that
springs to mind.
256
00:12:42,160 --> 00:12:43,560
I think we all know what it is.
257
00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:46,060
You do?
258
00:12:46,160 --> 00:12:47,561
Yeah. Ted.
259
00:12:47,861 --> 00:12:48,561
Me?
260
00:12:48,661 --> 00:12:50,861
Whenever Ted's friend Punchy
comes into town,
261
00:12:50,961 --> 00:12:53,761
it's like, all of a sudden,
Ted's in high school again.
262
00:12:53,861 --> 00:12:58,661
Okay, okay. First of all, his name is
Adam Punciarello, and I don't do that.
263
00:13:01,762 --> 00:13:03,262
Ooh. That must be Adam.
264
00:13:07,162 --> 00:13:08,262
- 'Sup, Punchy?
- 'Sup, Shmosby?!
265
00:13:08,462 --> 00:13:10,062
- You want to go?
- I'm already there!
266
00:13:10,162 --> 00:13:11,062
- Come on!
- This is it!
267
00:13:12,763 --> 00:13:14,963
Dude, seriously,
I'm sorry about your dad.
268
00:13:15,663 --> 00:13:17,363
Yeah, it was a real shock.
269
00:13:18,963 --> 00:13:20,663
I can't believe you, of all people,
are saying this.
270
00:13:20,963 --> 00:13:21,663
Why?
271
00:13:22,463 --> 00:13:23,263
No reason.
272
00:13:24,063 --> 00:13:25,864
Robin, the point is,
273
00:13:26,264 --> 00:13:28,464
what are you doing?
I mean, this guy?
274
00:13:29,064 --> 00:13:30,164
Okay, you want the truth?
275
00:13:31,564 --> 00:13:32,764
I like Simon.
276
00:13:33,064 --> 00:13:35,164
I do. We have fun together.
277
00:13:35,364 --> 00:13:38,065
We know you do, honey,
but we're worried about you.
278
00:13:38,565 --> 00:13:40,865
You're worried?
Okay, hold on.
279
00:13:40,965 --> 00:13:42,765
Is there any version
of this conversation
280
00:13:42,865 --> 00:13:44,565
where you guys don't sound
like my parents?
281
00:13:45,165 --> 00:13:45,865
I don't know.
282
00:13:45,965 --> 00:13:48,565
Is there any version where
you don't sound like a 16-year-old?
283
00:13:49,165 --> 00:13:51,266
That's exactly what
my mom would say.
284
00:13:51,666 --> 00:13:56,066
No. If I was your mom, I would say,
"We forbid you from seeing this boy."
285
00:13:57,466 --> 00:13:59,366
No, I'm sorry,
but it's for your own good.
286
00:13:59,566 --> 00:14:01,066
This is my life!
287
00:14:01,166 --> 00:14:03,867
You guys just don't get it!
You've never felt the way that I feel!
288
00:14:04,067 --> 00:14:06,367
No, no. We were once young
and in love, too.
289
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:09,567
Yeah, like, a billion years ago.
290
00:14:10,167 --> 00:14:12,267
You've been drinking,
haven't you?
291
00:14:12,867 --> 00:14:14,567
Yeah, we all have.
You bought the last round.
292
00:14:15,767 --> 00:14:17,068
You're not going
to that show tonight!
293
00:14:17,268 --> 00:14:19,268
Oh, yes, I am,
and you know what else?
294
00:14:19,368 --> 00:14:22,768
Tonight, after the show,
Simon and I are going all the way!
295
00:14:22,868 --> 00:14:24,868
Young lady, get back here!
296
00:14:26,168 --> 00:14:27,668
Thanks for your help.
297
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,769
- Hey, so, today at work...
- Not now, Ted!
298
00:14:38,969 --> 00:14:41,570
Hey, Simon. Great show.
299
00:14:41,870 --> 00:14:43,870
- You guys still rock.
- Yeah.
300
00:14:44,070 --> 00:14:45,970
They totally dug
my bass solo.
301
00:14:47,070 --> 00:14:47,770
Man!
302
00:14:48,870 --> 00:14:51,070
Why can't I always
feel this alive?!
303
00:14:52,170 --> 00:14:55,371
God, I just love
seeing you so happy.
304
00:14:55,771 --> 00:14:58,171
Yeah. About that.
305
00:14:58,871 --> 00:14:59,971
Listen, babe.
306
00:15:00,971 --> 00:15:01,871
It's over.
307
00:15:02,271 --> 00:15:03,071
What?
308
00:15:03,471 --> 00:15:05,271
I'm getting back together
with Louise Marsh.
309
00:15:06,071 --> 00:15:08,672
What?
You're kidding me.
310
00:15:10,572 --> 00:15:11,472
You're breaking up with me?
311
00:15:12,472 --> 00:15:13,172
Again?
312
00:15:13,272 --> 00:15:16,872
F-For the same ex-girlfriend?
In the same van?
313
00:15:16,972 --> 00:15:18,872
What is it?
Her-Her parents got a pool?
314
00:15:18,972 --> 00:15:20,173
Is that still the reason?
315
00:15:21,573 --> 00:15:22,773
Well...
316
00:15:23,273 --> 00:15:25,373
her folks did just
put in a Jacuz.
317
00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:31,973
I'm sorry, Robin.
318
00:15:32,174 --> 00:15:33,274
I'm fine, really.
319
00:15:33,374 --> 00:15:36,674
Oh, Robin, I'm gonna tell you
for real. Simon's a dawg.
320
00:15:36,874 --> 00:15:40,374
- You feel me, Chelle?
- Mm-hmm, for reals.
321
00:15:40,474 --> 00:15:42,874
- He a scrub.
- Mm. True dat.
322
00:15:42,974 --> 00:15:45,175
I'm get me my champagne
and grape soda on.
323
00:15:47,675 --> 00:15:49,175
So, how's Columbia?
324
00:15:49,275 --> 00:15:50,175
Great!
325
00:15:50,275 --> 00:15:52,475
I'm almost done
with my dissertation.
326
00:15:52,575 --> 00:15:54,775
I'm getting a PhD
in behavioral psychology.
327
00:15:56,475 --> 00:15:57,976
Can I make an observation?
328
00:15:58,276 --> 00:15:59,176
I know.
329
00:15:59,476 --> 00:16:02,676
Whenever I'm around Lily,
she just brings out that side of me.
330
00:16:02,776 --> 00:16:04,376
There's a psychological term
for the phenomenon.
331
00:16:04,476 --> 00:16:05,976
- Revertigo?
- No.
332
00:16:06,076 --> 00:16:07,876
Actually, it's associative regression.
333
00:16:08,076 --> 00:16:10,577
You see,
the neural pathways that...
334
00:16:11,077 --> 00:16:15,177
Oh, no, you did not just
put on my jam!
335
00:16:15,377 --> 00:16:17,177
Oh. Put your hands up, girl!
336
00:16:20,977 --> 00:16:23,378
One by one,
we all had to go home.
337
00:16:26,278 --> 00:16:28,078
Soon, it was just Robin.
338
00:16:36,679 --> 00:16:39,079
All right.
I can't find your video.
339
00:16:39,179 --> 00:16:41,179
I've wasted three days tr...
340
00:16:42,879 --> 00:16:44,079
What's the matter?
341
00:16:47,779 --> 00:16:51,980
Simon dumped me
in his van after the show.
342
00:16:52,680 --> 00:16:55,180
Yeah, Robin, that was, like,
ten years ago.
343
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:56,780
No, tonight.
344
00:16:57,780 --> 00:16:59,180
Really?
345
00:17:02,281 --> 00:17:04,381
Oh, come here.
346
00:17:06,081 --> 00:17:07,981
Come here.
347
00:17:09,581 --> 00:17:11,181
It's just...
348
00:17:11,981 --> 00:17:14,382
when I was young,
I was so...
349
00:17:14,482 --> 00:17:17,082
vulnerable and-and open
to things, you know?
350
00:17:18,182 --> 00:17:19,082
And...
351
00:17:19,482 --> 00:17:20,982
I guess I just...
352
00:17:21,182 --> 00:17:23,282
I wanted to feel
that way again.
353
00:17:24,582 --> 00:17:27,283
I wanted to be 16 again.
354
00:17:27,683 --> 00:17:28,483
Robin,
355
00:17:29,283 --> 00:17:32,183
that is the stupidest thing I've
ever heard come out of your mouth.
356
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,683
You want to be 16 again?
357
00:17:34,783 --> 00:17:38,183
I have watched your first
Robin Sparkles video 1,000 times,
358
00:17:38,383 --> 00:17:40,884
and it's not because
I'm proud of you as a friend.
359
00:17:41,084 --> 00:17:44,384
It's because you were totally,
totally lame back then.
360
00:17:45,284 --> 00:17:47,484
But now, come on. Pa-cow!
361
00:17:47,584 --> 00:17:50,184
You're the most awesome person
I have ever known.
362
00:17:50,284 --> 00:17:51,885
Well, second most awesome.
363
00:17:51,985 --> 00:17:54,585
Right. Of course,
the-the first being you.
364
00:17:54,685 --> 00:17:55,385
No.
365
00:17:55,685 --> 00:17:59,785
No. The first is this guy who
lives in a place called the mirror.
366
00:17:59,885 --> 00:18:01,385
What up.
367
00:18:02,685 --> 00:18:04,186
I'm saying
368
00:18:04,586 --> 00:18:08,386
that you are way more awesome
than Simon ever will be.
369
00:18:12,786 --> 00:18:15,086
Barney, do you want
to come back to my place?
370
00:18:15,986 --> 00:18:16,786
Your place?
371
00:18:26,787 --> 00:18:29,588
- Are you sure you want to do this?
- Yeah. I am.
372
00:18:30,688 --> 00:18:32,188
Let's just not tell anyone
about this, okay?
373
00:18:32,388 --> 00:18:33,188
Of course.
374
00:18:36,188 --> 00:18:38,188
So, should I just put it in?
375
00:18:39,288 --> 00:18:40,088
Yeah, why not?
376
00:18:54,890 --> 00:18:58,090
# Met you at the mall... #
377
00:18:58,390 --> 00:19:02,690
This was my big artistic follow-up
to "Let's Go to the Mall."
378
00:19:03,990 --> 00:19:05,690
It kind of tanked.
379
00:19:06,190 --> 00:19:09,091
# My friends said I was a fool #
380
00:19:09,891 --> 00:19:11,691
- # You're a fool.
- Shut up! #
381
00:19:11,791 --> 00:19:13,591
- Is that Tiffany?
- Mm-hmm.
382
00:19:13,691 --> 00:19:16,591
# 'Cause you were older and
got kicked out of school #
383
00:19:16,691 --> 00:19:18,091
# You are so rad. #
384
00:19:18,191 --> 00:19:22,892
# Together we were
gonna travel the globe #
385
00:19:23,092 --> 00:19:28,792
# From Alberta to Ontario #
386
00:19:29,292 --> 00:19:31,692
It's everything I want it to be
and more.
387
00:19:31,792 --> 00:19:32,993
- Oh, I'm so glad.
- Hmm.
388
00:19:33,193 --> 00:19:36,393
# a sandcastles in the sand #
389
00:19:36,493 --> 00:19:38,993
# Sandcastles in the sand #
390
00:19:39,393 --> 00:19:43,393
# Thought I could fly
when you held my hand #
391
00:19:43,493 --> 00:19:45,293
- # Thought I could fly
- But now... #
392
00:19:45,393 --> 00:19:49,494
# Eternity returns
to black and white... #
393
00:19:50,194 --> 00:19:51,794
- Is that Alan Thicke?
- Yeah.
394
00:19:51,994 --> 00:19:55,594
# It was the greatest
week and a half... #
395
00:19:55,694 --> 00:20:00,595
# Of my life
We used to go to the beach #
396
00:19:59,995 --> 00:20:02,895
You know, if you reedit it, there's
a tampon commercial in here somewhere.
397
00:20:04,095 --> 00:20:09,295
# On our favorite bench #
398
00:20:09,595 --> 00:20:15,696
# We'd sit and talk and
you taught me to french #
399
00:20:15,896 --> 00:20:17,596
# You're good at... #
400
00:20:17,696 --> 00:20:19,796
Do you see how lame
you were back then?
401
00:20:19,896 --> 00:20:22,796
- Yeah, you're right. I was lame.
- Totally lame.
402
00:20:22,896 --> 00:20:25,497
# ...so unfair... #
403
00:20:25,597 --> 00:20:28,097
# You don't understand
about love. #
404
00:20:28,897 --> 00:20:32,597
And, of course, the robot makes an
appearance in the sad love ballad.
405
00:20:32,697 --> 00:20:34,697
He was my sidekick.
He had to be.
406
00:20:34,897 --> 00:20:36,197
And so they watched it again.
407
00:20:36,898 --> 00:20:39,098
# Its crazy, #
408
00:20:39,298 --> 00:20:41,998
# no one gets me #
409
00:20:42,198 --> 00:20:46,398
# Let's go all the way #
410
00:20:46,498 --> 00:20:48,798
#I love you. Let's do it. #
411
00:20:52,499 --> 00:20:53,799
# I miss you. #
412
00:20:54,599 --> 00:20:55,799
And again.
413
00:20:55,899 --> 00:20:59,399
# Sandcastles may be cute
I'm on the pill now. #
414
00:20:59,599 --> 00:21:00,299
# But now... #
415
00:21:00,399 --> 00:21:01,399
And again.
416
00:21:01,499 --> 00:21:04,200
# all they do
is remind me of you... #
417
00:21:04,300 --> 00:21:06,800
They watched it over and over
that night until finally,
418
00:21:07,900 --> 00:21:09,300
they stopped watching.
31657
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