All language subtitles for Doc.Hollywood.1991.1080p.BluRay.H264.AAC-RARBG

PLEASE.

COMING THROUGH.

KEEP YOUR HANDS
OFF ME!

PLEASE, SIR, I'LL BE
WITH YOU IN A MOMENT.

DON'T WALK AWAY.

I CAN'T
FEEL MY ARM!

I CAN'T FEEL IT.

DOCTOR...

I CAN'T FEEL
MY ARM.

I CAN'T FEEL YOUR ARM
RIGHT NOW, EITHER.

COULD SOMEBODY
FEEL HIS ARM?

DON'T TOUCH
MY HAIR!

KISS THE BOO-BOO!
KISS THE BOO-BOO!

HEY, YOU'RE
STILL HERE.

YEAH, CAN YOU
BELIEVE IT?

HEY, SAVE ME SOME COFFEE,
YOU SAVAGE!

IT'S DOWN HERE,
AND IT'S OVER HERE.

WHAT IS THIS,
ALFRED HITCHCOCK PRESENTS?

LET'S GO!

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

GUNSHOT WOUND.
SHOULDER AND ABDOMEN.

WE'VE BEEN PAGING YOU
FOR FIVE MINUTES.

YOU ON CALIFORNIA
TIME ALREADY?

I WAS IN RADIOLOGY,
WORKING ON MY TAN.

PULSE 1 20.

GET THIS GUY TYPED
AND CROSSED.

O.K., QUESTION--

BEVERLY HILLS,

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMEN,
PLASTIC SURGERY--

WHAT DO THESE THREE THINGS
HAVE IN COMMON, HUH?

ME, IN LESS THAN A WEEK.

DON'T WORRY
ABOUT HIS SHOULDER.

HE'S PROBABLY
BLEEDING INTERNALLY.

PUSH ANOTHER
BOTTLE OF RINGERS.

TELL DR. SOTTO
TO PREP FOR O.R.

'CAUSE I'M OUTTA HERE
TONIGHT.

CONVINCE ME I'LL BE
NOSTALGIC FOR THIS PLACE

AT THE
HALBERSTROM CLINIC.

YOU'RE GOING
TO HALBERSTROM?

COSMETIC SURGERY
FOR THE RICH AND FAMOUS.

I'M NOT IN IT
FOR THE MONEY.

$500,000 THE FIRST YEAR
HE MAKES PARTNER.

THE HIGH-PROFIT STUFF
MAKES IT POSSIBLE

FOR US TO DO

RECONSTRUCTIVE
SURGERY FOR THE--

NEEDIER PATIENTS.
-YOU'RE A SAINT.

YOU GOT
ANOTHER CUSTOMER.

I'LL COVER IT.

MY GOING-AWAY
PRESENT TO YOU.

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

TOO MUCH FUN.
SUBSTANCE UNKNOWN.

O.K., STAY WITH US.
HEY, STAY WITH US.

WHAT'D YOU TAKE, MAN?

BLUEBIRDS,
DILLIES, LOVE BOATS?

I HEARD HALBERSTROM

MIGHT NOT HIRE
ANYONE THIS YEAR.

WELL, I'M NOT ANYONE.

MULREADY, SOME OF THE GUYS
ARE HAVING A BASH TONIGHT.

A GOING-AWAY PARTY.
IF YOU'RE INTERESTED--

NOT IN THIS LIFETIME.

CLEAN UP!

THANKS.

WHAT DO YOU SAY,
DINNER, HUH?

COME ON,
IT'S MY LAST NIGHT.

A COUPLE
OF LOUSY BEERS...

GUYS...

I'LL SEND YOU
A POST CARD.

WHAT?

AT THE RISK OF
SOUNDING SCHMALTZY,

YOU'RE A SCHMUCK,

AND I HOPE I NEVER
SEE YOU AGAIN.

THANKS, TOMMY. I KNOW
HOW HARD IT WAS

FOR YOU TO SAY THAT.

YOU'RE
A GOOD DOCTOR, BEN.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING
TO PRACTICE REAL MEDICINE.

YOU THINK
I'M MAKING A MISTAKE

GOING
TO HALBERSTROM?

NAH. COSMETIC SURGERY,
IT'S CLEAN,

YOU MAKE TONS OF MONEY,
NOBODY DIES.

WHAT'S WRONG
WITH THAT, RIGHT?

RIGHT.

BYE, BEN.

♪♪ I AM THE ONE
AND ONLY ♪♪

♪♪ I AM ♪♪

♪♪ OOH ♪♪

♪♪ CALL ME ♪♪

♪♪ CALL ME BY MY NAME ♪♪

♪♪ CALL ME BY MY NUMBER ♪♪

♪♪ PUT ME THROUGH IT ♪♪

♪♪ I'LL STILL BE DOING IT
THE WAY I DO IT ♪♪

♪♪ AND YET ♪♪

♪♪ YOU TRY
TO MAKE ME FORGET ♪♪

♪♪ WHO I REALLY AM ♪♪

♪♪ DON'T TELL ME,
I KNOW BEST ♪♪

♪♪ I'M NOT THE SAME
AS ALL THE REST ♪♪

♪♪ I AM THE ONE AND ONLY ♪♪

♪♪ NOBODY I'D RATHER BE ♪♪

♪♪ I AM THE ONE AND ONLY ♪♪

♪♪ YOU CAN'T TAKE
THAT AWAY FROM ME ♪♪

♪♪ I'VE BEEN A PLAYER
IN THE CROWD SCENE ♪♪

♪♪ A FLICKER
ON THE BIG SCREEN ♪♪

♪♪ MY SOUL EMBRACES ♪♪

♪♪ ONE MORE IN
A MILLION FACES ♪♪

♪♪ HIGH HOPES
AND ASPIRATIONS ♪♪

OH, COME ON.

♪♪ IDEAS ABOVE MY STATION ♪♪

♪♪ MAYBE ♪♪

♪♪ BUT ALL THIS TIME
I TRIED TO WALK ♪♪

♪♪ WITH DIGNITY
AND PRIDE ♪♪

♪♪ I AM THE ONE AND ONLY ♪♪

♪♪ NOBODY I'D RATHER BE ♪♪

♪♪ I AM THE ONE AND ONLY ♪♪

♪♪ YOU CAN'T TAKE
THAT AWAY FROM ME... ♪♪

WHOA! LOOK OUT!

HEY, STUPID!
GO BACK!

HA HA!

♪♪ WITHOUT
SOME COMPROMISES ♪♪

♪♪ BECAUSE YOU'LL
FIND OUT THAT WE COME ♪♪

♪♪ IN DIFFERENT
SHAPES AND SIZES ♪♪

♪♪ NO ONE ♪♪

♪♪ CAN BE MYSELF
LIKE I CAN... ♪♪

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.
O.K., O.K...

CAN I JUST ASK YOU...

WHERE AM I NOW?

♪♪ YOU ARE THE ONE
AND ONLY YOU ♪♪

♪♪ I AM THE ONE AND ONLY ♪♪

♪♪ NOBODY I'D RATHER BE ♪♪

♪♪ I AM THE ONE AND ONLY ♪♪

♪♪ YOU CAN'T TAKE
THAT AWAY FROM ME... ♪♪♪♪

WHOA!

AAH !

AAH !

OH, MAN.
OH, GOD. OH, GOD.

I'M O.K. I'M O.K.

WHEW!

SHOOT.

ACCIDENT. WOMAN IN
THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD

WITH A COW!

ALL RIGHT. I'M O.K.

OH, MAN. MY CAR.

THE WHOLE
FRONT END IS SHOT!

AM I GLAD YOU'RE HERE.

IS THAT A '56 OR
A '57 SPEEDSTER?

'56.

HEY, GET OUT.

WILL YOU GET OUT
OF THE CAR?

GET AWAY FROM THERE!

TOOK ME THREE WEEKS
TO BUILD THAT FENCE.

LOOK, I'M SORRY.

DOES THIS HAVE
A SUPER 90 ENGINE

OR A 1 600?

MY INSURANCE COMPANY WILL
PAY FOR THE ENTIRE FENCE.

IS IT O.K.?

IT WON'T BE
THE SAME.

THIS AIN'T A
KIT CAR, IS IT?

NO, IT AIN'T.
IT ISN'T.

MY NAME IS BEN STONE.

I'M A MEDICAL DOCTOR.

AWESOME. WHO
THRASHED THE FENCE?

I'M BEN STONE. I CAN
GIVE MY ADDRESS IN L.A.

DID HE SAY
HE'S BEEN STONED?

HE SAYS HE'S
FROM L.A.

SEND ME A BILL,

OR WE CAN HANDLE
IT WITH PLASTIC.

I'M NOT REALLY FROM L.A.,
I'M JUST ON MY WAY TO-

YOU'RE LUCKY
I WAS PASSING THROUGH.

WHAT'S IN
THE TRUNK, POT?

OH...

I'M A SURGEON.
OH, COME ON--

WILL YOU GET AWAY
FROM THE CAR?

SORRY.

NOT YOU. THE DOG.

PROBABLY
THE FINEST FENCE

I'LL EVER PUT UP.

I KNOW A WILLIE STONE
IN STANTON.

THAT FAMILY OF YOURS?

I UNDERSTAND WHAT
YOU'RE TRYING TO DO.

I WON'T PUT UP WITH
ANY SMALL-TOWN BULLSHIT.

WHERE'S THE
DANG ENGINE?

WHOA! GET AWAY FROM THE CAR!
YOU'RE NOT TOUCHING IT!

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHERE THE ENGINE IS.

GOTCHA.

LOOK, I'M SORRY
ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED,

BUT IT WAS
AN ACCIDENT, O.K.?

IT WAS NOBODY'S FAULT.

GET ME TO A TELEPHONE.

I'LL CALL A PORSCHE MECHANIC
IN THE NEXT BIG CITY,

I'LL BE ON MY WAY,

AND YOU CAN GO BACK TO DOING
WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO.

HUH?

I ADMIT IT!
I FLATTENED THE DAMN FENCE!

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO,
LOCK ME UP?

COURT FINDS THE DEFENDANT
GUILTY OF CRIMES

UNDER MOTOR VEHICLE CODE
453-1 9, RECKLESS DRIVING,

466-2, RECKLESS
ENDANGERMENT.

THIS IS INSANE.

NO,
THIS IS GRADY.

YOUR HONOR, THERE WERE COWS
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD.

MY INSURANCE COMPANY
WILL PAY FOR A NEW FENCE.

I BUILT THAT
FENCE MYSELF!

YOUR INSURANCE
CAN'T PAY ME

FOR A FENCE
I BUILT MYSELF.

NEXT BEST THING WOULD BE
A FENCE YOU BUILT.

THESE HANDS ARE
DELICATE INSTRUMENTS.

I DOUBT YOU COULD BUILD
A GOOD FENCE, ANYWAY.

THEREFORE, SINCE YOU'RE
A LICENSED PHYSICIAN

AND WE'RE A TOWN IN ACUTE
SHORTAGE OF MEDICAL CARE--

YOU WOULDN'T.

YOUR SENTENCE
WILL BE 1 6 HOURS

OF COMMUNITY SERVICE
SERVED AS RESIDENT DOCTOR

AT GRADY
MEMORIAL HOSPITAL.

I HAVE TO BE IN
LOS ANGELES BY TUESDAY.

32 HOURS.

THIS IS EXTORTION !

YOU WANT 64 HOURS?

NO.

COURT IS ADJOURNED.

ALL RISE.

I AM SO FUCKED.

WATCH YOUR LANGUAGE, DOC.

YOU'RE IN THE BUCKLE
OF THE BIBLE BELT.

MIGHT TRY SAYING "FUDGE"
OR SOMETHING.

"FIDDLESTICKS"
TOO STRONG?

DEPENDS.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT
YOUR AUTOMOBILE.

I ALWAYS
WANTED AN EXCUSE

TO BUY ME A SET
OF METRIC TOOLS.

SH...

SUGAR.

COME ON.

SHIT.

HEY.

I'M DR. BENJAMIN STONE.

NURSE PACKER, I'M ASSUMING
JUDGE EVANS TOLD YOU...

FINE.
HERE'S WHAT I NEED...

A COMFORTABLE BED,
HOT SHOWER, WARM MEAL,

A LOCKER TO PUT
MY STUFF IN, A GENERAL IDEA--

COULD YOU SHOW ME

SOME KIND OF
IDENTIFICATION?

I'M WEARING GLASSES THERE.
I WEAR CONTACTS NOW.

MY HAIR'S A LITTLE SHORTER.

THAT'S A--AHEM--MUSTACHE.

IT'S A BAD PICTURE.

COULD YOU DIRECT ME TO
THE PHYSICIAN ON CALL TONIGHT?

I'LL SPEAK TO HIM.

"WHEN TO CALL ME--

"YOU'VE BEEN STABBED,
SHOT, POISONED,

"SEPARATED
FROM AN APPENDAGE,

"KNOCKED OR
BEATEN UNCONSCIOUS,

"RUN OVER
BY A TRACTOR MOWER,

"OR GENERALLY ABOUT
TO BLEED TO DEATH.

OTHERWISE,
LEAVE ME ALONE."

SIGNED, "DR. AURELIUS
EDSEL HOGUE, M.D."

I'M IN THE TWILIGHT ZONE.

ZWIEBACK AND VITAMIN C
IN THE CABINET

IF YOU'RE HUNGRY.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS IS THE BEST
YOU CAN DO?

NO.

AAH !

OH, GOOD,
YOU'RE AWAKE.

WELCOME TO GRADY.
I'M MAYOR NICHOLSON.

SECOND I HEARD THERE'S
A BIG-CITY DOCTOR IN TOWN,

I LEFT THAT REHEARSAL.

I HIGHTAILED OVER HERE LIKE
AN EIGHT-LEGGED DOG

TO SEE IF I CAN
MAKE YOU MORE COMFORTABLE.

SHOOT, WE CAN DO
BETTER THAN THIS.

NO.
BETTER THAN THIS?

SAY, THESE YOURS?

I'M NOT CLAIMING GRADY'S
NO PARIS, FRANCE,

BUT WE GOT
TWO GAS STATIONS,

GOT US A WINN-DIXIE,
GOT US CABLE TV.

WE GOT US A NEW
TENNIS COURT.

NO, YOU DOCTORS
PLAY GOLF.

LEARNING HOW TO SURF,
ACTUALLY.

THIS PRETTY?

WE HAD THIS FIXED UP
FOR A DOCTOR

THAT WE GOT THROUGH
THE WANT ADS COUPLE YEARS AGO.

NOBODY'S BEEN IN IT
FOR A WHILE.

MAYOR NICHOLSON,

I'M ON MY WAY
TO CALIFORNIA.

I'M NOT
STAYING HERE.

OH, NO.
OF COURSE NOT.

WELL, MAYBE NOT.

GIVE GRADY A CHANCE.

SHE MIGHT
SNEAK UP ON YOU.

I'LL GET THE LIGHT.

SURPRISE!

WELCOMING COMMITTEE!

I HOPE YOU'RE HUNGRY.

EVENING, LADIES.

BEN STONE, THIS HERE
IS MISS VIOLET

AND MISS LILLIAN
AND MISS MADDIE.

LADIES, THIS HERE
IS BEN STONE, M.D.

FRIED CHICKEN,
BOILED PEANUTS,

AND SWEET POTATO PIE.

CATFISH, BISCUITS,

BUTTER BEANS,
AND WATERMELON.

HUNGRY MAN DINNER.

I'M A BAD COOK.

I GUESS
I'LL JUST SAY ADIEU

AND COME CHAUFFEUR YOU
IN THE MORNING.

NO, WAIT, WAIT.
COME ON.

YOU'RE NOT GOING TO

LEAVE ME HERE
WITH THEM.

IT'S GETTING LATE.

DON'T WORRY.
ONLY ONE OF THEM HORNY.

I'M NOT TELLING YOU
WHICH ONE, THOUGH.

YOUR FACE...

YOU WANT A COCKTAIL?

ANYWAY, THE HIGH PROFILE,
HIGH PROFIT...AHEM...WORK

JUST MAKES IT POSSIBLE
FOR ME TO DO

THE MORE IMPORTANT
RECONSTRUCTIVE SURGERY

FOR NEEDIER PATIENTS...

AND GET A BIG HOUSE
ON THE BEACH.

IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE...

A MAN AS GOOD-LOOKING
AS DR. STONE SHOULD BE MARRIED.

MAYBE HE AIN'T FOUND
HIS ADAM'S RIB YET, VI.

MAYBE HE INDULGES
IN THE LOVE

THAT DARE NOT
SPEAK ITS NAME.

LILLIAN.

WILL I GO BLIND?

IT'S MOONSHINE,
RIGHT?

WELL, OUZO, ACTUALLY.

WE TOOK A CRUISE
TO GREECE.

NOT ME.
I WASN'T INVITED.

IT WAS ONE OF THOSE
GOLDEN-AGERS TOURS.

SUNSET TOURS,
VI, HONEY.

THEY ATE THE BRAINS
OUT OF A GOAT.

NOT ME.

WE ATE DOG.

I DIDN'T EAT
NO DOG.

YOU DON'T KNOW
THAT YOU DIDN'T.

DR. STONE, THERE'S A LEGEND
ABOUT FRIENDSHIP QUILTS.

THAT'S BUNK.

FOLKS SAY THAT
THE FIRST PERSON

TO SLEEP UNDER
A FRIENDSHIP QUILT

WILL MEET THE ONE
THEY'RE GOING TO MARRY.

DREAM ABOUT THE ONE
THEY'RE GOING TO MARRY,

AND IT'S BUNK.

WHAT A FINE HAND
HE HAS.

DR. STONE?

DR. STONE.

DR. STONE.

AHH...AHH...

OHH...GOD.

OW. OW. SHIT.

OH, GOD.

HELLO.

UH...HI.

GOOD MORNING.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

UH, NO.

NO, NO.

UM...

I'M A DOCTOR.

YEAH,
I KNOW WHO YOU ARE.

UH, HEY, I'M SORRY.

WOULD YOU--CAN--

DO YOU WANT THIS?

IF YOU'RE A DOCTOR,

I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING
YOU HAVEN'T SEEN BEFORE.

YOU CAN BLINK NOW.

THE BOYS FROM THE STATE
LEGISLATURE COME HERE,

DO THEIR RECREATING.

BOY, CAN THEY LITTER.

YUP, PRESIDENTS
COME HERE

DURING
THE FISHING SEASON.

ON PURPOSE?

LOOKING AT ALL THIS,
BEN, BOY,

I'M SURE
YOU'RE THINKING,

"I'VE COME TO GRADY

AT THE MOST BEAUTIFUL
TIME OF THE YEAR."

BUT BOY, THESE
DOGWOODS, AZALEAS,

WHEN THEY BLOOMING,
THEY CAN'T HOLD A CANDLE

TO THE NUCLEAR
EXPLOSION OF COLOR

COME FALL.

LOOK, NICK,
YOU'RE THE MAYOR.

YOU HAVE THE AUTHORITY
TO COMMUTE MY SENTENCE.

COULD YOU DO THAT?

I'LL MAKE IT
WORTH YOUR WHILE.

I GET BACK TO L.A.,
WE CAN WORK SOMETHING OUT.

WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

HOW'M I GONNA CONVINCE
YOU TO STAY HERE

IF YOU'RE NOT HERE?

WE NEED A DOCTOR,
YOU NEED PATIENTS.

GET OFF THE INTERSTATE,
BEN STONE.

HMM?

RIGHT, HUH?

DON'T LET THE SIGNS
OF PROSPERITY

AND URBAN SPRAWL

HERE IN DOWNTOWN
SCARE YOU.

WE'RE STILL THE SLEEPY
LITTLE PARADISE

THAT MANY BIG-CITY
SHRINKS RECOMMEND

FOR THEIR PATIENTS
WITH NERVOUS DISORDERS.

IT'S THE CALMING EFFECT

OF GRADY'S
NATURAL OZONES.

THERE'S A WORLD-CLASS
MENTAL HOSPITAL

JUST UP THE ROAD.

THAT'S A
COMFORTING THOUGHT.

BEN STONE, DO
YOU LIKE COFFEE?

IF YOU LIKE COFFEE,
WE WON'T GO IN HERE.

IS THAT HIM?

THAT'S HIM.

HE'S YOUNG, HUH?

BOYS, THIS HERE
IS BEN STONE,

THE HOLLYWOOD PHYSICIAN

WHO'S GOING TO BE SPENDING
A FEW DAYS WITH US.

BEN, THIS HERE'S
MORTIMER, JOHN, AUBREY.

PROBABLY DON'T WANT
TO SHAKE HIS HAND.

SORTY
IN THE CORNER THERE

GOT A COW
THAT SINGS.

YOU REMEMBER COTTON,
MISS LILLIAN.

HOLLYWOOD...
LA-LA LAND.

BEVERLY HILLS,
ACTUALLY.

WHATEVER. WILLIAM'S
BEEN A MOVIE STAR.

AUBREY, IT WAS JUST
AN ARMY TRAINING FILM.

YOU WERE THE STAR.

YOU PLAYED
THE LEADING ROLE.

IT WAS ABOUT VD.
I WAS THE BACTERIA.

HAD A BIG SCENE
WITH PENICILLIN.

MMM, YES.

A DEATH SCENE.

TAKE A LOAD OFF,
DOCTOR.

THIS WILL STOP
YOUR WORRIES.

OR START THEM.

DOC, WHAT DO YOU THINK
OF OUR TOWN?

I HAVEN'T
SEEN IT ALL YET.

OH, YEAH, YOU HAVE.

OPPORTUNITY
ABOUNDS HERE.

THE GROWTH RATE
WAS UP .3% LAST YEAR.

THERE'S NO CRIME.

WE ARE
THE COUNTY SEAT.

NO POINT IN BEATING
A DEAD HORSE TO DEATH.

THAT'S ALL
IN THE BROCHURE.

BEN STONE...

WE ARE PREPARED
TO OFFER YOU

A PERMANENT POSITION

AS MEDICAL
PRACTITIONER SUPREME

HERE IN THE GREATER
GRADY METROPOLITAN AREA

AND SQUASH CAPITAL
OF THE SOUTH.

THE SALARY'S
$27,000 PER ANNUM

AND PLUS HOUSING.

27,000?

YOU SEE, NICK,
I TOLD YOU--

HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
30,000.

LOOK, YOU PEOPLE
DON'T EVEN KNOW ME.

I NOTICED RIGHT OFF

HE DOUBLE-KNOTS
HIS SHOELACES.

EXCELLENT
CREDENTIALS.

SHOWS HE'S CAREFUL.

ANYWAY, DON'T YOU
ALREADY HAVE A DOCTOR?

WE GOT HOGUE. THE
PROBLEM WITH HOGUE IS...

HE'S OLD.

OLD AND WHOLLY
UNPLEASANT.

HE WON'T
BE AROUND FOREVER.

35,000?

THAT TAKES
A UNANIMOUS VOTE

OF THE CITY COUNCIL.

ALL IN FAVOR
SAY AYE.

AYE.

I ABSTAIN.

YOU ALWAYS ABSTAIN.

LOOK, I APPRECIATE
YOUR PROBLEM...

B-BUT I'M NOT THE ANSWER.

I GOT A BIG JOB INTERVIEW
ON THE WEST COAST.

IT'S VERY IMPORTANT
I GET THERE SOON.

PLASTIC SURGERY,
YOU KNOW?

THE TRUTH IS,
THEY COULD PROBABLY PAY ME

ABOUT 20 TIMES
WHAT YOU CAN AFFORD.

THERE'S LOTS
OF SIMILARITIES

BETWEEN GRADY
AND LOS ANGELES.

THEY'RE
JUST BIGGER.

WHAT DO I OWE YOU?

1 0 BUCKS.

FOR A CUP OF COFFEE
AND SOME TOAST?

GOTCHA.

WHY DON'T YOU WAIT
TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND

TILL AFTER
THE SQUASH FESTIVAL?

ALL I'M SAYING,
BEN STONE,

IS GIVE GRADY
A CHANCE.

I'LL BET
YOU'LL LIKE HER.

YEAH, WELL...

NICE MEETING YOU...ALL.

THANKS.

WELL, HOWDY, NURSE PACKER.
HOW YOU DOING?

DOCTORS' LOUNGE
IS DOWN THE HALL.

YOU CAN CHANGE
IN THERE,

AND THEN I'LL HAVE
LOU SHOW YOU AROUND.

THIS IS
YOUR TIME CARD.

YOU GOT TO BE KIDDING.

LOCAL CALL?

I DON'T KNOW
ANYBODY LOCAL.

PAY PHONE'S
IN THE WAITING ROOM.

YEAH.

YEAH, IT'S--
NO, IT'S A COLLECT--

IT'S A COLLECT CALL

FROM
DR. BENJAMIN STONE.

STONE.

DO YOU MIND?
THIS IS A--

PERSONAL CALL.

I GUESS SO.

MR. STONE?

MR. STONE,
ARE YOU THERE?

YEAH. HI.
THIS IS DR. STONE.

ACTUALLY, THAT'S WHY
I'M CALLING.

I DON'T THINK
I'LL BE ABLE

TO MAKE IT
ON TUESDAY.

NO, I JUST--
THERE WAS A...

A...

UM, A MEDICAL
EMERGENCY,

AND--AND, UH, THEY
DON'T HAVE A DOCTOR,

SO I VOLUNTEERED
MY SERVICES,

AND I'LL NEED
TO STAY

UNTIL THE SITUATION
STABILIZES.

YEAH,
MEDICALLY SPEAKING.

YOU'RE INTERVIEWING
OTHER DOCTORS?

UH, FRIDAY.

O.K., FRIDAY.
I COULD DO THAT.

NO, THANK YOU.
THANK DR. HA--

THAT WAS BETTER
TAP-DANCING

THAN I'VE SEEN
ON STAR SEARCH.

YOU KNOW, IF YOU
TELL ME YOU'RE HERE

FOR A PHYSICAL,

YOU'RE GOING
TO MAKE MY DAY.

IT'S UNPROFESSIONAL
TO FLIRT WITH THE PATIENTS.

I'M JUST ON MY WAY
TO BEVERLY HILLS.

PLASTIC SURGERY.

NOT THAT
YOU NEED ANY.

NICE TRY.

SO, IS THIS THE GQ LOOK
FOR YOUNG URBAN DOCTORS?

WELL, I'VE SPENT
THE LAST 2 YEARS

DOING 1 8-HOUR DAYS
IN THE E.R.

I FIND THESE ARE
PRETTY COMFORTABLE.

YOU DON'T LIKE THEM?

NO.

O.K., FINE. I REALLY ENJOYED
OUR TIME TOGETHER HERE,

BUT SINCE YOU'RE
OBVIOUSLY NOT A PATIENT

AND I'M NOT
GETTING ANYWHERE,

TELL ME WHERE I CAN FIND
A GUY NAMED LOU

WHO DRIVES
AN AMBULANCE,

I'LL GET OUT
OF YOUR LIFE.

I'M LOU.

WHERE DID ALL THESE
PEOPLE COME FROM?

FOLKS HEAR THERE'S
A DOCTOR ON DUTY

AT THE HOSPITAL,

THEY COME RUNNING.

ANY OLD DOCTOR.

SEND THEM IN.

O.K., MR...TIDWELL.

WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU
GOT ON YOUR FOOT?

THAT'S A POULTICE.

NURSE PACKER!

I GOT A HOLD
OF DOC HOGUE ON THE CB.

HE SAID THAT WOULD
HOLD ME TILL I COME IN.

YOU DID THIS
ON PURPOSE?

YES, SIR. CHIMNEY SOOT,
BISCUIT FLOUR, AND LARD.

DOC HOGUE SAID THAT--

YOU WANT
TO WIPE THAT CRAP

OFF MR. TIDWELL'S
FOOT, PLEASE,

AND CLEAN
THAT WOUND OUT?

YOU ALLERGIC
TO PENICILLIN?

DON'T KNOW.

YOU'D HAVE TO ASK
DOC HOGUE.

DOUBT DOC HOGUE KNOWS
IT'S EVEN BEEN DISCOVERED.

O.K. NURSE PACKER,

I'M GOING TO WASH THIS
WITH BETADINE,

CLOSE IT
WITH A BUTTERFLY,

GIVE IT
A STERILE DRESSING.

YOU SURE YOU OUGHT
TO BE DOING THAT

SO DARN FAST?

WELL, I HOPE SO,
MR. TIDWELL,

BECAUSE
JE SUIS FINI.

OLÉ.

O.K., MRS. OWENS,

IF YOU COULD PLEASE
GET ON THE TABLE

AND PUT YOUR FEET
IN THE STIRRUPS.

WE'RE JUST HERE
ABOUT OUR MAIL.

IT'S FROM MY SISTER.

WE DON'T READ.

THIS EVER HAPPEN
TO YOU BEFORE, MR. McCLARY?

HELL, YES.
IT--IT HAPPENS.

THIS AIN'T NEARLY
THE BIGGEST ONE

I EVER TOOK.

I HAD A HOOK
IN MY THIGH ONCE.

IT MUST HAVE BEEN,
I'D SAY...

EXCUSE ME, I--
YEAH, WELL...

FISHING'S
A DANGEROUS BUSINESS.

WELL, IT CAN BE.

"AND AFTER
THE COW DIED,

"THERE JUST
WASN'T ANY REASON

"FOR HIM TO GO ON.

"MEANWHILE, ELLEN'S
GOT HERSELF MIXED UP

"WITH A PAKISTANI
GENTLEMAN

"WHO NOBODY
CAN UNDERSTAND

"WHAT HE IS SAYING,

NOT EVEN ELLEN."

I DON'T SEE
ANY TOXIC STRIATIONS.

RED STREAKS.

YOU SURE
IT WAS A BLACK WIDOW?

OH, UH, HERE.

I KEPT IT
IN SOME TP.

OH, DEAR LORD,
IT'S ESCAPED.

SHIT!

THERE IT IS!

THERE HE GOES!
THERE HE GOES!

STEP ON IT! OH, OH!

"SHE THINKS RAY'S
HAVING AN AFFAIR

"WITH THE PASTOR'S WIFE,

BUT RAY SWEARS
IT'S JUST SCRUB OAK RASH."

RAY IS A NUT,
I'M TELLING YOU.

IT'S LIKE A BLURRED SPOT
IN MY VISION.

OUT THERE.

NO...

THERE.

NO. NO, THERE!

I'M CURED.

"THE PASTOR'S WIFE
GOT BUSTED

"FOR GROWING MARIJUANA

"OUT BEHIND THE RECTORY.

"SO SHE'LL BE SPENDING
A SPELL UP IN TUPELO

AT THE MINIMUM
SECURITY PRISON."

WHAT, THAT'S IT?

WHAT ABOUT ELLEN
AND THE PAKISTANI?

NURSE PACKER?

NURSE PACKER?
WHERE'S DOC HOGUE?

THE BOY CAN'T
BREATHE RIGHT,

AND HE'S
TURNING BLUE.

I'M THE DOCTOR
HERE.

NURSE PACKER,
YOU GOT TO CALL DOC HOGUE.

PLEASE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
I'M THE DOCTOR.

HOW LONG'S
HE BEEN LIKE THIS?

ALL AFTERNOON.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

ZEB.
ZEB.

HEY, ZEB. THIS WILL BE
A LITTLE COLD.

I JUST WANT
TO HEAR YOUR HEART.

DOES YOUR TUMMY HURT?

ALL RIGHT.

WHY DON'T
YOU TAKE HIM

DOWN TO
THE EXAMINATION ROOM?

YOU KNOW WHERE THAT IS?
RIGHT THERE. O.K.?

COULD YOU HAVE ZEB

GET UP ON THE TABLE
FOR ME?

CALL HOGUE.
GET HIM HERE RIGHT AWAY.

HE DOESN'T LIKE
TO BE DISTURBED.

FORGET HOGUE. WHAT'S
THE REFERRAL HOSPITAL?

ATHENS GENERAL.

CALL ATHENS GENERAL.
TELL THEM WE GOT

A POSSIBLE
CARDIAC EMERGENCY.

CALL LOU.

TELL HER TO FIRE UP
THE AMBULANCE.

FORGET IT.

TELL THEM TO SEND
THE HELICOPTER,

AND GET ME THE MEDICAL
HISTORY ON THIS BOY.

I THINK I BETTER
CALL DR. HOGUE.

DAMN IT! LISTEN TO ME.
HOGUE IS NOT HERE.

I'M HERE. YOU DO IT.

O.K., HERE'S
THE SITUATION.

YOUR SON
IS TURNING BLUE

BECAUSE HE HAS AN
ABNORMAL MITRAL VALVE.

IT'S CAUSING A BACKFLOW
OF BLOOD IN HIS HEART.

WE MAY
HAVE TO OPERATE.

I'M GOING TO SEND HIM
TO ATHENS GENERAL.

DR. HOGUE SAYS
YOU SHOULD GIVE HIM A COKE.

WHAT?

HE SAYS HE'S PROBABLY
GOT A BELLYACHE

AND THAT YOU SHOULD
GIVE HIM A COCA-COLA.

LISTEN, DOCTOR,

I GOT A BOY
IN CARDIAC CRISIS.

YOU CAN'T TREAT THAT

WITH COCA-COLA
OR BISQUIK.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO USE
REAL MEDICINE THIS TIME.

I'M SENDING HIM
TO ATHENS GENERAL.

YOU'RE HIS REGULAR
FUCKING DOCTOR.

GET YOUR FAT ASS
OUT OF BED,

GET DOWN HERE
AND GO WITH HIM!

HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE

THAT GODDAMN CHOPPER
TO SHOW?

IT SHOULD BE HERE
ANY MINUTE.

WHERE'S STONE?

DR. HOGUE?

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF

SNOT-NOSED PUPPY DOCTOR
ARE YOU?

WAKE ME OUT OF
A SOUND SLEEP,

SCARE THESE POOR FOLKS
OUT OF THEIR SKIVVIES.

-MITRAL VALVE REGURGE.
-HUH?

I'VE HAD A LOT OF EXPERIENCE
WITH IT IN E.R.

I'VE EVEN ASSISTED
IN SURGERY TO CORRECT.

GOD ONLY KNOWS
HOW LONG HE'S HAD THIS.

I GUESS
YOU OVERLOOKED IT.

WHY DON'T YOU CHECK
HIS COLOR?

NURSE PACKER,
GET THAT CRAP OFF THE BOY.

GENE, YOU GAVE HIM
THE BISMUTH SUBNITRATE?

AT FIRST WE THOUGHT
IT WAS THE SKITTERS.

YOU GAVE HIM TOO MUCH,
AS USUAL.

TURNED HIM
THREE SHADES OF BLUE.

BISMUTH SUBNITRATE?

HOME-GROWN ANTACID.

YOU HEAR A HEART MURMUR?

NO, IT'S HARD
TO DETECT.

YOU BEEN SAMPLING
YOUR DADDY'S CHAW?

UH-HUH.

THAT'LL BE 65 CENTS.

WELL, NICE WORK,
HOLLYWOOD.

YOU WERE JUST ABOUT
TO CRACK OPEN THE CHEST

OF A 6-YEAR-OLD BOY

TO CURE A CASE
OF DIARRHEA.

NOW, LISTEN UP,
SMART ASS,

NEXT TIME I TELL YOU

HOW TO TREAT
A PATIENT OF MINE,

YOU BETTER DAMN WELL
DO IT...DOCTOR.

I DOUBT YOU'D KNOW CRAP
FROM CRISCO.

HEY.

GUTEN MORGEN,
HERR DOKTOR.

UH, YEAH.

RIGHT.

SHIT!

UH, WAIT.

WAIT. HOLD
YOUR HORSES, DOC.

WHAT IF I WALKED IN

IN THE MIDDLE
OF A HERNIA OPERATION,

SEE SOME POOR GENTLEMAN'S
GUTS ALL OVER?

YOU KILLED MY CAR.

I RESENT THAT.

THAT CAR WAS MY LIFE,
MELVIN !

THAT CAR WAS MY BABY.

YOU WANT ME TO STOP,

I COULD BOX IT,
SHIP IT TO HOLLYWOOD.

NO SKIN OFF MY NOSE.

OLPUMPENGEHAUSEN.

YOU AND ME CALL IT
AN OIL PUMP CASING.

LANE HAD TWO YEARS
OF GERMAN

IN HIGH SCHOOL.

ES IST KAPUTT.

DOC, LET'S STEP
INTO MY OFFICE.

I DON'T NEED A CAR.

I'M MOVING
TO LOS ANGELES.

WHAT DO I NEED
A CAR FOR?

LASH YOURSELF
TO THE MAST, DOC.

THIS FELLA
UP IN OREGON,

HE'S GOT AN OIL PUMP

HE COULD AIR EXPRESS
TO US TOMORROW.

239 BUCKS,
PLUS SHIPPING.

ONLY ONE PROBLEM.

OREGON EXPLODED.

HEE!

NO.

HE DON'T
TAKE CREDIT.

UH-HUH.

OR CHECKS. AND TOMORROW
BEING SATURDAY,

YOU CAN'T JUST WIRE
SOME CASH TO HIM.

O.K., MELVIN,
LET ME ASK YOU THIS.

HOW DO YOU PROPOSE
I PAY FOR THIS?

I WAS HOPING
YOU'D PAY ME,

THEN I COULD TRADE HIM

FOR A FRONT ROCKER ASSEMBLY
I GOT FROM A '68 NOVA,

BUT...

YOU DON'T TAKE
CREDIT OR CHECKS.

NO, SIR.
I APOLOGIZE.

HOW LONG WILL THIS GUY
IN OREGON WAIT?

I IMAGINE
I CAN STALL HIM

TILL SUNDAY NOON.

NOW, HE GOT ANOTHER
TAKER--IN ARIZONA--

BUT I WAS FIRST.

STALL HIM.

HI, DOC.

HI, DOC.

MORNING, DOC.

MORNING, BEN STONE.

DR. STONE.

HOWDY, Y'ALL.

DR. STONE.

DR. STONE,
I PRESUME?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

HI.

HI.

YOU'RE TALLER THAN
THEY SAID YOU WERE.

I'M SITTING ON A STOOL.

OH.

AND YOU ARE...

DYING TO GET OUT
OF THIS TOWN.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

HERE'S YOUR BREAKFAST.

I HAVEN'T ORDERED YET.

COMPLIMENTS
OF THE HOUSE.

DON'T LET HOGUE
SCARE YOU OFF.

WE KNOW YOU
WEREN'T AIMING

TO KILL THAT BOY
LAST NIGHT.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE NOT PLANNING
ON STAYING IN GRADY.

ONLY AS LONG
AS I HAVE TO.

THANK GOD.
FOR A SECOND THERE,

I THOUGHT THEY GOT
THEIR HOOKS IN YOU, TOO.

YOU DON'T LIKE GRADY?

NO.

SO HOW COME
YOU DON'T LEAVE?

WITH YOU?

IS THAT A PROPOSITION,
DOCTOR?

I'D BETTER EAT THIS
BEFORE IT GETS COLD.

NICE MEETING YOU.
THANKS, LILLIAN.

PROSSER ON TORTS?
CIVIL PROCEDURE?

A LITTLE LIGHT READING
THIS MORNING?

DID I INVITE YOU
TO SIT DOWN?

NO, BUT YOU
WERE GOING TO.

SOUTHERN HOSPITALITY
AND ALL.

NOW WHAT?

NOW LET'S TALK
ABOUT YOU.

O.K. I LIKE MY PRIVACY,
I'M A VEGETARIAN,

AND I'D APPRECIATE IT
IF YOU'D TAKE THAT HAM

BACK TO THE COUNTER WITH YOU.
IT GIVES ME THE WILLIES.

UH, I DIDN'T
ORDER THIS.

OH, LET'S SEE NOW.

I SUPPOSE YOU'LL SAY
SOMETHING CUTE

TO STALL YOUR RETREAT.

MAYBE TELL ME ABOUT
THE BIG CITY,

ALL THE THINGS
I'M MISSING

LIVING IN THIS
DINKY OLD TOWN,

AND HOW YOU'D LIKE
TO TAKE ME OUT OF IT.

YEAH.
ISN'T THAT WHY

YOU'RE GOING
TO LAW SCHOOL,

TO GET OUT OF THIS
DINKY LITTLE TOWN?

I'M NOT GOING YET,

AND I PLAN
TO PRACTICE IN GRADY

WHEN I'M THROUGH.

YEAH. LOOKS
LIKE A HOTBED

OF LEGAL ACTIVITY.

WELL, MALPRACTICE
FOR VISITING YOUNG SURGEONS

SEEMS PROMISING.

WHO'S THE GREEN APPLE,
VILOULA?

HENRY, THIS
IS BEN STONE.

HEY.

OH, YEAH.
THE NEW CROAKER.

HANK GORDON.

YOU'RE IN MY CHAIR.

BOYFRIEND?

FRIEND FRIEND.

NEED ANY
LIFE INSURANCE?

WHAT?

YOU SHOULD BE VESTED

IN A TERM LIFE
PROGRAM.

PROBABLY QUARTER OF
A MIL TO START.

COME BY MY OFFICE.

WE'LL RUN
A "WHAT IF,"

OR ARE YOU
TOO CHICKEN?

DR. STONE,
I READ THAT DOCTORS

HAVE THE HIGHEST
SUICIDE RATE

IN ANY PROFESSION
EXCEPT FOR DENTISTRY.

NOW, IS THAT TRUE?

I WON'T UNDERWRITE
DENTISTS.

NEVER TRUST A MAN

WHO'LL PUT HIS HAND
IN YOUR MOUTH.

WELL,
I'D LOVE TO STAY

AND HEAR WHERE THIS
CONVERSATION'S HEADED,

BUT IF YOU'LL
ALL EXCUSE ME.

THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE
I WANTED TO ASK YOU.

DO DOCTORS KNOW
MORE ABOUT...SEX

THAN NORMAL PEOPLE?

AHEM.

I NEED SOME KETCHUP.

I HAVE A FAIR KNOWLEDGE
OF ANIMAL HUSBANDRY.

IT'S ALL PRETTY MUCH
THE SAME THING.

BYE, DOC.

BYE.

WOMEN TROUBLE,
BEN STONE?

NAH.

SQUAT IT HERE.

REGARD
THE GRADY SQUASH.

LOOKS LIKE
A YELLOW ZUCCHINI.

NOPE, NOPE.

SEE, UP UNTIL 1 933,

YOU HAD YOUR GRADY.
YOU HAD YOUR ZUCCHINI.

THEY GOING AT IT,
GOURD TO GOURD.

FREAK
TORNADO ACCIDENT

WIPED OUT A WHOLE
SHIPMENT OF GRADYS

BOUND FOR, I
PERSONALLY BELIEVE,

AGRICULTURAL STARDOM

AT THE CHICAGO
WORLD'S FAIR.

ZUCCHINI TOOK THERE.
NEVER RELENTED.

IF IT HAD GONE
THE OTHER WAY,

NO TELLING WHERE
THIS TOWN'D BE TODAY.

WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

TIMING.

THE SAME THING
WITH WOMEN,

AND WITH SOUTHERN
WOMEN, WELL,

THEY REQUIRE
SUBSTANTIAL COMMITMENT.

YOU MIGHT HAVE
TO STAY HERE SIX MONTHS.

ARE YOU
A BETTING MAN?

WELL, I HAVE BEEN
KNOWN ON OCCASION.

TAKE ME ABOUT A WEEK.

YOU MEAN...VILOULA
IN THE CENTER POCKET?

1 0 BUCKS.

1 0 BUCKS?

O.K. YOU GOT IT.

I--FEELS LIKE
I'M FLEECING YOU.

EASY.

UGH.

HELLO, NURSE PACKER.

ALL RIGHT. O.K.

LET'S GET SOMETHING
STRAIGHT RIGHT NOW.

I GOT EIGHT YEARS
OF HIGHER EDUCATION,

ONE YEAR
OF INTERNSHIP,

AND ONE YEAR
OF RESIDENCY.

I'M $70,000 IN DEBT.

NOW I'M WAYLAID
IN THIS HEE-HAW HELL,

AND YOU INSIST
ON CLOCKING ME IN AND OUT

LIKE SOME
FACTORY WORKER.

WELL, NO! N-O! NO!

THIS IS WHERE
I DRAW THE LINE.

I BELIEVE YOU HAVE
A VISITOR, DOCTOR.

DOC,

MY FOOT FEELS SO GOOD,
I BROUGHT YOU THIS PIG.

O.K. AHEM.

I CAN'T ABIDE BEING
IN NO MAN'S DEBT.

THIS PIG'S
ALL I GOT TO GIVE.

UH, I'M ALREADY
PAID, MORE OR LESS,

BY THE HOSPITAL.

I REALLY CAN'T
ACCEPT YOUR PIG.

IT'S A DONE DEAL.

SHE'S YOUR PIG NOW.

GOD BLESS YOU BOTH.

AHH.

KEEP YOUR ANIMAL
OUTSIDE.

THIS IS A HOSPITAL.

NICE PIG THERE,
DOC.

THANK YOU.

LOVELY PIG,
DR. STONE.

THANK YOU VERY MUCH.

APPRECIATE IT.

NICE PIG, DOC.

NICE PIG, DOC.

THANK YOU ALL
VERY MUCH.

BEN STONE!

HEY, I THINK
I JUST TOOK AWAY

YOUR LAST REASON TO GO
TO CALIFORNIA.

MORRISVILLE DRUM
AND BUGLE CORPS.

THEY PLAYED
LAST FOUR YEARS

IN THE ROSE PARADE.

I GOT THEM UNDER
EXCLUSIVE CONTRACT--

NICK, NICK,
I'M NOT STAYING.

SURE, YOU ARE.

BY THE WAY, DINNER AT
MY HOUSE TOMORROW, 6:00.

DINNER?

DIDN'T I TELL YOU
YOU'RE GUEST OF HONOR?

SHOOT A MONKEY!

IF MY HEAD WASN'T ATTACHED,
I'D NEED WOOD SCREWS.

NICE PIG, DOC.

THANKS.

CAN I BRING
A DATE?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

CAN YOU?

THIS IS BEN STONE
YOU'RE TALKING TO.

COME ON, PIG.

FINE PIG, DOCTOR.

MELVIN?

MELVIN?

MELVIN?

OH, HEY, DOC.

WE'RE JUST REHEARSING
FOR THE PAGEANT.

WE DOING A POLLINATION
RAP SONG.

UH, MELVIN, LISTEN.

I, UH, DON'T HAVE
THE MONEY

FOR THE
OLPUMPENGEHAUSEN,

UH, THING.

I MEAN,

WHEN I SAY I HAVEN'T
GOT THE MONEY,

THAT'S NOT
ENTIRELY TRUE.

I'M GOOD
FOR THE MONEY,

IT'S JUST A MATTER
OF ACCESSING IT.

CAN WE WORK
SOMETHING OUT?

THIS CAR'S
GOT TO BE READY

BY THE TIME
I LEAVE, YOU KNOW?

THAT YOUR PIG?

YEAH.

YOU, UH...

YOU WANT TO TRADE
THE PIG FOR THE PART?

IF YOU CAN PART
WITH THE PIG.

GOOD.

HI.

HI.

YOU JUST PICK THOSE?

YES, MA'AM.

THEY'RE PROTECTED
BY LAW.

STATE FLOWERS.

FIGURES.

WELL, I'M ALREADY
SERVING TIME

FOR THE FENCE.

I MAY AS WELL
TAKE MY CHANCES.

MAMA?

MAMA, WHO IS IT?
WHO ARE YOU?

I'M, UH, UH, BEN.

EMMA, PUT THESE
IN WATER, O.K.?

YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED
TO PICK THESE.

USE THE
PLASTIC PITCHER.

YEAH. SHE'S MINE.

SHE'S 4.

YOU WANT
TO RETREAT NOW?

NO, NO. I--

NO. ACTUALLY,
I JUST CAME BY

BECAUSE I NEED
A DATE FOR DINNER

TOMORROW NIGHT.

NICK NICHOLSON'S?

YEAH.
HOW'D YOU KNOW?

CAN'T POOP
IN THIS TOWN

WITHOUT EVERYONE KNOWING
WHAT COLOR IT IS.

I WAS, UH, FIXING
TO HAVE A COCKTAIL.

ARE YOU IN A HURRY?

OH, MAN,
THAT'S TART.

IT'S CALLED A SLOW,
COMFORTABLE SCREW

UP AGAINST A WALL,

WITH A TWIST.

IS THAT A GRADY
SPECIALTY?

NO. NEW YORK CITY.

NEW YORK?

I WORKED AT ONE OF
THOSE WEIRDO THEME BARS.

WAYNE AND I WENT TO COLLEGE
IN NEW YORK.

WAYNE?

THEN HE DROPPED OUT,
I GOT PREGNANT.

HE COULDN'T GET WORK,
SO I BARTENDED.

I MANAGED TO FINISH
SCHOOL, THOUGH.

UH, WAYNE
ISN'T STILL--

WAYNE IS
A PROFESSIONAL DANCER.

YOU KNOW,
ONE OF THOSE EXOTIC

CHIPPENDALE THINGS.

HE'S IN BOSTON, MIAMI.
I CAN'T KEEP TRACK.

HE LEFT ME
AFTER EMMA WAS BORN.

I DIVORCED HIM
AND CAME RUNNING BACK HERE.

WAYNE HAS THIS
EXTREMELY HIGH OPINION

OF HIS LEGS.

YOU KNOW, I JUST
CAN'T PICTURE YOU

IN THE BIG CITY.

IN NEW YORK.

GOD,
THAT'S LIKE ME...

IN GRADY?

YEAH.

WELL, PEEL AN ONION,
THERE'S LOTS OF LAYERS.

WHAT LAYER IS
HANK ON?

HENRY GORDON'S
SWEET ON ME,

AND HE'S PRETTY
DECENT AND SOLID

ONCE YOU GET PAST

THE "INSURANCE REBEL
WITHOUT A CLAUSE" ROUTINE.

DECENT AND SOLID.

VERY ROMANTIC.

I CAN SEE YOU COMING

FROM HALF A MILE
AWAY, DR. STONE,

YOU AND YOUR
SLICK CITY WAYS.

I SUSPECT YOUR
VERSION OF ROMANCE

IS WHATEVER WILL
SEPARATE ME

FROM MY PANTIES.

HEY, HEY, LOOK.

ALL I'M TALKING
ABOUT IS DINNER.

YOU KNOW, IN PUBLIC.
WEAR A DRESS.

PANTIES
ARE OPTIONAL.

WELL, I NEVER HAVE
HAD DINNER

AT THE MAYOR'S HOUSE.

OH, BOY.

AND AFTER ALL,

HOW COULD I POSSIBLY
REFUSE THE MAN

WHO SAVED JASMINE
FROM THE BUTCHER?

WAIT. WHAT ARE YOU
TALKING ABOUT?

TIDWELL'S PIG.

HE WAS ABOUT TO SELL HER
FOR PORK CHOPS,

YOU HADN'T FIXED HIS FOOT,
MADE HIM FEEL GUILTY.

EMMA LOVES PIGS.

YOU KEEPING HER
OVER AT YOUR HOUSE?

LANE.

LANE! LANE,
WHERE'S MELVIN?

WHERE'S MELVIN?

I WANT MY PIG
BACK.

MELVIN'S NOT HERE,
DOC. HE'S AT CHURCH.

DID YOU SAY HE
WENT TO CHURCH?

AT THIS HOUR?

A BIG REVIVAL MEETING
IN TYLERVILLE.

ARE YOU ALLOWED
TO COME OUT HERE?

'CAUSE I CAN'T
UNDERSTAND

WHAT THE HELL
YOU'RE SAYING.

MELVIN'S
GONE TO CHURCH.

HE'S GONE TO TYLERVILLE.

THE PIG? SHE GOT TOOK
TO THE BUTCHER.

MELVIN TOOK MY PIG
TO THE BUTCHER?

WHAT?

AH, MR. CRAWFORD.
WHERE'S MY PIG?

YOU KNOW,
JASMINE, MY PIG.

IS SHE STILL ALIVE?

OH, YES.
SHE'S IN BACK.

THANK GOD.
I WANT HER BACK.

WELL, DOC--

I KNOW. FAIR ENOUGH.
TAKE PLASTIC?

NOT UNLESS IT'S
WRAPPED AROUND SOME CASH.

LET'S WORK IT OUT
IN TRADE.

I DON'T KNOW.

I AIN'T BEEN SICK
IN THREE YEARS, DOC.

I GOT AN IDEA.

WHERE'D YOU LEARN
TO CARVE LIKE THAT?

YOU'RE PRETTY GOOD
WITH A KNIFE.

YO!

HEY, MADDIE.

HI, DOC.

SO YOU GUYS ARE
PIG-SITTING FOR ME?

UH-HUH.

WHOA! WHO ARE YOU?

DON'T TEASE ME.

YOU LOOK LIKE LOU,
BUT MUCH PRETTIER.

I'M WARNING YOU.

I COULD WHUP YOU
IN A FIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

BE A GOOD GIRL.

O.K. BYE.

WAIT.
BE A GOOD GIRL.

NOT TOO MUCH TV
FOR HER, O.K.?

SHE'S A REAL PIG
ABOUT THAT.

HI! COME ON IN.

WELCOME.

OH, YOU LOOK
FANTASTIC!

AND YOU LOOK
HANDSOME, TOO.

DADDY'S
IN THE BACKYARD

TENDING HIS FIRE STORM
IN THE BARBECUE.

SO YOU'RE NICK'S
DAUGHTER.

GOSH, I HOPE SO.
I'M IN HIS WILL.

HEY, Y'ALL,
LOOK WHO'S HERE.

HELLO, LOU.

HELLO, STONE.

CHECK HOLLYWOOD
FOR KNIVES.

I DON'T WANT HIM
OPERATING ON ME

IN CASE I SNEEZE
OR SOMETHING.

ISN'T THIS GOING
TO BE FUN?

OH, NO, THANK YOU.
I'M A VEGETARIAN.

I KNOW, DEAR,
BUT I'M STILL HOPEFUL.

SO AM I.

UH, VEGETARIAN.

OH, SINCE WHEN?

THEN HAVE SOME OF THIS SQUASH,
BEN STONE. DON'T BE SHY.

I'M NOT SURE
I TRUST A MAN

WHO DOESN'T
EAT MEAT.

DON'T BE
SO PROVINCIAL.

WHERE'S YOUR SENSE
OF ADVENTURE?

PROBABLY GIVE
VEGETARIANS

BETTER LIFE
INSURANCE RATES

THAN A SMOKER,
THOUGH.

ON ACCOUNT OF THAT
LOWER CHOLESTEROL.

DADDY, PLEASE.
NEW SUBJECT.

WE WANT TO HEAR ALL ABOUT
CALIFORNIA.

I HEARD THAT
THE WOMEN OUT THERE

HAVE THEIR CHESTS
ENLARGED,

THEIR THIGHS
VACUUMED,

AND BARF ON PURPOSE.

NOT WHILE PEOPLE
ARE EATING.

YEAH, TELL US ABOUT
REAL DOCTORING.

YOU KNOW,
BIG-CITY MEDICINE.

SO MUCH HAS CHANGED
IN THE 40 YEARS

SINCE YOU WENT
TO MEDICAL SCHOOL.

I WOULDN'T KNOW
WHERE TO START.

SMART ASS.

GOT YOU GOOD.

MORE SQUASH, BEN?

NO. I MEAN,
NO, THANK YOU.

"OUT OF THE CRADLE...

"ENDLESSLY ROCKING.

"OUT OF THE
MOCKINGBIRD'S THROAT.

"THE MUSICAL SHUTTLE.

OUT OF THE..."

IS THIS ONE
OF THE LONG ONES?

NO.

LONG ONES?

DOC HOGUE DOES
THE COMPLETE WALT WHITMAN

IF YOU DON'T
MONITOR HIS DRINKING.

"DOWN FROM
THE SHOWERED HALO,

UP FROM THE MYSTICAL
PLAY OF SHADOWS."

MAN, I HAVEN'T
SEEN THIS MANY STARS

IN A LONG TIME.

I USED TO GET SO BORED
IN THIS TOWN,

I'D TRY TO COUNT THEM.

I COULD HAVE GONE
TO MED SCHOOL.

JUST
THE SCIENCE PART

I WOULD HAVE HAD
A PROBLEM WITH.

I'D LIE ON MY BACK.

SOMETIMES WAYNE
WOULD BE ON TOP OF ME

DOING THE WILD THING.

IT WAS HARD
NOT TO LOSE MY PLACE.

GOD, THAT'S ROMANTIC.

THEN WE MOVED
TO MANHATTAN.

YOU COULD HARDLY
SEE STARS,

LET ALONE
COUNT THEM.

STARS I'D LIKE TO SEE
ARE THE TWO-LEGGED KIND.

EARTHQUAKE INSURANCE
IS SOMETHING

I'M KEEN
TO TAKE A WHACK AT

OUT THERE IN L.A.

TALK ABOUT
YOUR NO-BRAINER.

COLLECT PREMIUMS FOR
A GAZILLION YEARS,

AND IF THE BIG ONE
EVER DOES HIT,

DECLARE BANKRUPTCY
AND RETIRE.

DECENT AND SOLID.

NOBODY'S PERFECT.

HANK, YOU GOT
TO TAKE HOGUE HOME.

HE'S ABOUT TO LAUNCH
INTO SONG OF MYSELF.

MY LORD.

NEVER A DULL
MOMENT, EH, BEN STONE?

I'LL CALL YOU LATER,

MAKE SURE
YOU GOT HOME O.K.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

OW! SHIT!

HEY.

I FORGOT MY PIG.

SHE'S
SLEEPING WITH EM.

I'LL DROP HER OFF
IN THE MORNING.

GREEK DEATH?

TAKE THE EDGE OFF.

TAKE THE EDGE
OFF WHAT?

ME.

YOU, UH...RAN
ALL THE WAY OVER HERE.

OH, YEAH.
I RAN...WALKED.

GOT A STITCH
IN MY SIDE.

WHY ARE YOU GIVING ME
THE FULL COURT PRESS

IF YOU'RE LEAVING
IN A COUPLE OF DAYS ANYWAY?

YOU KNOW,
I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S LIKE
IT'S SOME KIND OF...

MYSTICAL FORCE.

FORCE OR HORMONES?

HEY, HEY. COME ON.
I'M...

ALL I WANT TO DO
IS TALK.

OH.

AND GET YOU
SLOPPY DRUNK.

HONESTY--THAT'S
A NEW APPROACH.

I KNOW.

YOU'RE FORCING ME

INTO UNCHARTED
TERRITORY HERE.

HELL, I MIGHT
EVEN TRY CHASTITY.

SEEMS TO HAVE
WORKED FOR HANK.

SPEAK OF THE DEVIL.

AH...

WELL, LISTEN, UH...

MAYBE A RAIN CHECK?

MMM...

I NEVER SHOULD HAVE
ACCEPTED THOSE FLOWERS.

WELL, UH...

WHAT ABOUT
TOMORROW NIGHT?

HMM. DESPERATION.
I LIKE THIS.

STILL, I...

I WOULDN'T
WANT THE MAYOR

TO HAVE TO LOSE
1 0 BUCKS OVER ME.

YOU KNOW.

HEY.

GOOD MORNING.

FUNNY. FUNNY.

MORNING, DOC!

THAT'S A NICE PIG
YOU GOT THERE!

YEAH. THAT'S
WHAT THEY TELL ME.

HEY, MR. McCLARY!

BE CAREFUL YOU DON'T GET
ANOTHER HOOK IN YOUR FINGER!

DON'T WORRY, DOC!
HA HA!

WE'RE NOT
USING HOOKS TODAY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
IT'S ALL RIGHT.

HE'S A NICE PIG,
DOC.

IT'S A SHE, ACTUALLY.

WHOA. WHOA.
O.K., O.K., O.K.

RELAX, WILL YOU?

YOU KNOW, HOUSE CALLS

ARE PROBABLY MY FAVORITE
PART OF THE JOB--

DRIVING OUT
INTO THE COUNTRY,

SEEING
WHAT MIGHT POP UP

AROUND THE NEXT BEND.

RAINBOWS,

FROST ON THE KUDZU.

JOHN MUIR SAID IT--

MOST PEOPLE ARE ON
THE WORLD, NOT IN IT.

YOU KNOW?

WHAT?

NOTHING.

WHAT?

UH, LISTEN,

YOU'D BETTER LET ME
HANDLE THIS ONE ALONE.

OBSTETRICAL EXAM.

O.K.

"SO JIMMY JOE WENT OVER
TO THE PAKISTANI'S HOUSE

WITH A SHOTGUN."

EXCUSE ME.

JIMMY JOE
IS ELLEN'S BROTHER?

NO, NO, NO. BOYFRIEND.

OH. I WAS STUMPED
ON THAT ONE, TOO.

"AND HE STAYED OUTSIDE

"SHOOTING HOLES
IN THE FELLOW'S FOREIGN CAR

"UNTIL ELLEN CAME OUT

"AND AGREED TO COME
BACK HOME WITH HIM.

"IT'S THE MOST
ROMANTIC THING

JIMMY JOE'S
EVER DONE FOR HER."

TOUGH ONE.

HOW'S ELLEN MAKING OUT
WITH THE PAKISTANI MAN?

GET HIM. COME ON, BUBBA.

I SAID...

I SAID NO SHOT!

OW!

SIT UP, PLEASE.

THIS WON'T HURT.

I DON'T SEE
AN INFECTION,

BUT...

O.K., HOLD STILL.

AH.

WHAT IS THAT, A V-8?

HE DID IT!

HOUSE CALLS USED TO BE

AN ESSENTIAL PART
OF EVERY DOCTOR'S PRACTICE.

THE ONLY WAY YOU'D GET
TO KNOW YOUR PATIENTS

WAS TO SEE WHERE THEY LIVED,
HOW THEY LIVED.

MAYBE WHEN I GET
TO HALBERSTROM'S,

I'LL GET HIM TO INSTITUTE

SOME KIND
OF VISITATION PROGRAM--

OUTPATIENT WORK.

DAMN IT.

LOU!

LOU!

IF YOU SEE ANOTHER ONE,

THEY MARK THEIR WAY
WITH THESE

BECAUSE THEY'RE
TOO STUPID AND TOO DRUNK

TO REMEMBER WHERE
THEY WERE MOST TIMES.

WHO?

HUNTERS.

MAYBE
THIS IS THE END.

YEAH. SEE?
THERE IT IS.

THAT'S WHERE THEY SIT
AND WAIT FOR THE SLAUGHTER.

IT'S NOT LIKE
THEY DO IT FOR FOOD, EITHER.

GOD, IT MAKES ME
SO HOT.

WANT TO HELP ME HERE?

UH, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M URINATING.

YOU JUST DROP TROU
WHENEVER YOU FEEL LIKE IT?

WELL, IT SCARES
THE DEER AWAY

SO THE HUNTERS
WON'T GET THEM.

I CAN'T...

UH, WHY DON'T YOU

JUST SAY BOO
OR SOMETHING?

I TRY TO SPREAD IT
AROUND--

A LITTLE HERE,
A LITTLE THERE.

FEEL FREE
TO JOIN IN.

ANYWAY, IT'S NOT
LIKE I PLANNED

TO BE PREGNANT AT 1 9,

BUT IT COULD HAVE BEEN
WORSE THAN WAYNE.

WENDALL BARNES.

OH, YOU'D BE
INTERESTED IN HIM.

HE COMES
FROM A WHOLE FAMILY

THAT DOESN'T HAVE
SWEAT GLANDS.

REALLY? I'M FASCINATED
BY THE GLANDLESS.

I GUESS IT'S GENETIC.

DURING THE SUMMER,

THEY ALL SLEEP
UNDER THE HOUSE,

ON ACCOUNT OF THE HEAT.

THAT'S A TOUCHING STORY.

REALLY. THANKS
FOR SHARING THAT.

YOU DON'T SEE A LOT
OF THINGS IN GRADY,

BUT WHAT YOU SEE,
YOU SEE A LOT OF.

I'M FROM
A SMALL TOWN MYSELF.

WHAT?

MARIONVILLE, INDIANA.

POPULATION 2,1 06.

HOME OF THE WORLD'S
LARGEST STEAM ENGINE.

BUT YOU'VE BEEN TELLING
EVERYBODY THAT YOU'RE--

NO, NO, NO, NO.

EVERYBODY ASSUMED
I WAS A BIG-CITY GUY.

NOBODY ASKED.

ANYWAY, I GOT OUT,
AND I'M STAYING OUT.

YOU STILL GOT
YOUR WHOLE FAMILY THERE?

WELL, THEY TALKED
ABOUT LEAVING,

BUT MY DAD
NEVER QUITE...

THEY LIVED THERE,
THEY DIED THERE,

FOR BETTER,
FOR WORSE.

SO WHEN I LEFT HOME,

I JUST SWORE TO MYSELF
I WAS NEVER GOING BACK.

IT'S NOT THE PLACE,
IT'S THE PERSON.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU
WISH FOR, BEN STONE.

YOU MIGHT GET IT.

WHAT'S THAT
SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

YOU'VE NEVER BEEN BACK,

NOT EVEN
TO SEE YOUR FRIENDS?

WELL, WHO'S GOT
TIME FOR FRIENDS?

LOU, YOU GOT TO GET
DR. STONE BACK HERE ASAP.

WE GOT A POSSIBLE
CORONARY EMERGENCY.

WHAT HAPPENED
TO HOGUE?

CAN'T DOC HOGUE
HANDLE THIS?

IT IS HOGUE. OVER.

HEY, LIE DOWN.

NO CRAP. I'M DOOMED.

LIE DOWN NOW. YOU'RE
HAVING A HEART ATTACK.

MY ANGINA'S
ACTING UP IS ALL.

YOU GOT ANY NITRO PILLS?

GET A BOLUS
OF LIDOCAINE.

I'M THE SENIOR SAWBONES
AROUND HERE, STONE.

PVCs ARE TOO CLOSE
TO YOUR T-WAVES.

IN 30 SECONDS, YOU'LL BE
IN SERIOUS TROUBLE.

GET HIM
AWAY FROM ME.

IF I'M WRONG,
LIDOCAINE WON'T HURT YOU.

IF YOU'RE WRONG,
IT'S A VENTRICULAR FIB.

I'M NEVER WRONG.

SHIT. ALL RIGHT. GET THE
DEFIBRILLATOR OVER THERE.

NEVER WRONG.

400 WATTS.

CLEAR. CLEAR!

HEARTBEAT.

60.

WOW, HE
ACTUALLY HAS ONE.

KEEP HIM ON OXYGEN.
SET THE LIDOCAINE DRIP.

GUESS I'M STAYING HERE
TONIGHT.

OH, DOCTOR?

I'VE GOT YOUR BED
READY.

RIGHT.

SLEEP WELL, DOCTOR.

AT WHICH POINT,

ALL THE BEES,
INCLUDING MELVIN,

LUNGED OFF THE EDGE
OF THE STAGE.

A STANDING OVATION.

VARIATIONS ON A THEME.

I'M SORRY I MISSED IT.

THAT'S THE FIRST
SQUASH PAGEANT

THAT I MISSED IN 1 5 YEARS.

WHAT'S GOING ON
HERE?

IT'S CALLED MORAL SUPPORT
FOR THE RECOVERING PATIENT.

CHERRY COBBLER, BEN?

EVERYBODY OUT.
LET'S GO.

COME ON. VISITING
HOUR'S OVER.

OH, DON'T MIND
DOC HOLLYWOOD.

HE DOESN'T KNOW
WHAT IT MEANS TO BE BELOVED.

SO LONG, DOC.

YOU COME
TO CLEAN THE ROOM,

MY BEDPAN'S RIPE.

OH, NO. NOT MADDIE'S
SWEET POTATO PIE.

YOU CAN RAZZ ME
ALL YOU WANT, DOC.

I SAVED YOUR LIFE
LAST NIGHT.

YOU KNOW IT,
AND I KNOW IT.

GOTCHA.

HI, THERE. HOW YOU DOING?

HELLO!

HELLO!

HI, SUE ELLEN.

HELLO, EVERYBODY.

YOU ARE SO CUTE!

MAMA, LOOK!

HA HA HA HA!

LEAVE THAT DOWN NOW.

WE'RE OVER HERE!

WATCH THAT BALLOON,
HONEY.

HALBERSTROM CLINIC.

DR. HALBERSTROM, PLEASE.
BEN STONE CALLING.

HE'S IN CONSULTATION.
WHAT IS THIS REGARDING?

IT'S REGARDING...

I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE
MY INTERVIEW ON FRIDAY.

THE DOCTOR HAS
A TIGHT SCHEDULE.

I REALIZE THE DOCTOR
HAS A TIGHT SCHEDULE.

I JUST WON'T BE ABLE
TO LEAVE WITHOUT--

RIGHT. I--

IS THERE ANY WAY

HE CAN RESCHEDULE
THE APPOINTMENT

FOR ANOTHER TIME?

I REALLY
COULDN'T SAY.

ALL RIGHT.
THANKS A LOT.

SLOW DOWN.
SLOW DOWN.

COME ON !

GET HOT,
TAKE A SHOT.

STEP UP.
TAKE A SHOT.

WHAT'S THE OBJECT
OF THIS?

1 0 SHOTS A DOLLAR.

FIVE BULL'S-EYES,
WIN A POSSUM.

SUPPOSING I HIT
5 OUT OF 5.

I'LL GIVE YOU
TWO POSSUM.

SIR, RUN HENRY A TAB.

HE FEELS DEADLY TODAY.

EVENING, DR. STONE.

HEY, DOC.

OILPUMPENGEHAUSEN?

THE NEW ONE'S IN.

YOUR CHARIOT'S
GOOD AS NEW.

UH, GOOD AS NEW, USED,
SINCE IT'S OLD.

YOU FIXED MY CAR?

EVEN OILED THE ASHTRAY.

OH, MAN,
I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS.

MELVIN, THANKS, MAN.

THERE'S ALWAYS
SOME EXTRA PARTS

WHEN I PUT THEM
BACK TOGETHER.

I DON'T KNOW WHY.

BUT YOU GO AHEAD ON.

KEEP THEM.

DANCE WITH ME,
OR I'M DOG FOOD.

WHAT?

WENDALL BARNES.

OF THE GLANDLESS BARNES?

UH-HUH.

JESUS.

YEAH. COME ON.

ABSOLUTELY.

OOH!

SEE, THE TRICK--

IS JUST TO
VISUALIZE THE TARGET

ON THE BACKS
OF YOUR EYEBALLS--

AND THEN PRETEND

THAT YOU'RE SHOOTING
YOURSELF IN THE EYE.

I--I CAN'T KEEP UP.
THANKS.

HOW'S HOGUE?

MEANER THAN EVER.

DANCE?

WHERE'S HANK?

I FORGET.

♪♪ CRAZY ♪♪

♪♪ I'M CRAZY
FOR FEELIN' SO LONELY ♪♪

♪♪ I'M CRAZY ♪♪

♪♪ CRAZY FOR FEELIN'
SO BLUE ♪♪

♪♪ I KNEW ♪♪

♪♪ YOU'D LOVE ME
AS LONG AS YOU WANTED ♪♪

♪♪ AND THEN SOMEDAY ♪♪

♪♪ YOU'D LEAVE ME
FOR SOMEBODY NEW ♪♪

♪♪ WORRY ♪♪

♪♪ WHY DO I
LET MYSELF WORRY? ♪♪

♪♪ WONDERIN' ♪♪

♪♪ WHAT IN THE WORLD
DID I DO ♪♪

♪♪ I'M CRAZY ♪♪

♪♪ FOR THINKIN' ♪♪

♪♪ THAT MY LOVE
COULD HOLD YOU ♪♪

♪♪ I'M CRAZY FOR TRYIN' ♪♪

♪♪ AND CRAZY FOR CRYIN' ♪♪

♪♪ AND I'M CRAZY
FOR LOVIN' ♪♪

♪♪ YOU ♪♪♪♪

THE MUSIC STOPPED.

WHAT MUSIC?

DR. STONE?

I HAVE A PRESENT
FOR YOU.

THANKS, JUDGE.

I WANT TO THANK YOU

FOR SAVING MY FRIEND HOGUE'S
MISERABLE LIFE.

I COULDN'T CALL MYSELF
A CHRISTIAN

IF I DIDN'T GIVE YOU
A FULL PARDON

ON THE REMAINDER
OF YOUR SENTENCE.

YOU'RE FREE TO GO.

WHAT I WOULDN'T GIVE

TO BE A YOUNG MAN
ON THE ROAD,

FOOT-LOOSE
AND FANCY-FREE.

DID I TELL YOU?

I'VE ALREADY GOT PLANS
FOR A NEW FENCE.

I GOT A BUG IN MY EAR

FOR ONE OF THOSE
SOLID OAK NUMBERS

WITH CURLY TOPS.

HEY.

VICTORY.

DID YOU KILL THAT CRITTER
ALL BY YOURSELF?

VERY FUNNY. HA HA.

DON'T YOU HAVE SOME KIND
OF URGENT BUSINESS

THOUSANDS OF MILES
AWAY FROM HERE, DOCTOR?

VILOULA,

YOUR DAUGHTER WAS
DUNKING GRASSHOPPERS

IN THE PUNCH BOWL
AGAIN.

TOMMY, TOO.

SHAKE A LEG WITH
THE JUDICIAL BRANCH,

MISS NICHOLSON?

WHY,
I'D LOVE TO.

THANK YOU.

HOLD THIS POSSUM, EMMA.

IT'S TIME
I REACQUAINTED YOUR MOM

WITH SOME REAL DANCING.

NO OFFENSE, HOLLYWOOD.

WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO BRING
YOUR PIG BACK AROUND?

HEY THERE, BEN STONE.
HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

BEEN LOOKING FOR YOU.
WHAT A GREAT DAY.

BOY, THIS IS IT--

THE PINNACLE
OF EXISTENCE.

THE GRANDEUR OF GRADY.
THE SIMPLE LIFE.

COULDN'T BE HAPPIER
IF I WAS TWINS.

PUT ON A HELL
OF A FESTIVAL, MAYOR.

AREN'T YOU NICE
TO SAY SO.

HEY, BEN,
LET'S TALK TURKEY--

OR SQUASH, AS IT WERE.

ABOUT WHAT?

HOME.

HEART.

HAPPINESS.

YOU BELONG HERE,
BEN STONE.

IT BREAKS MY HEART
TO THINK OF YOU

OUT THERE
IN THE LAND OF LUNATICS.

I WON'T LET YOU GO

WITHOUT HOLDING UP
A MIRROR TO YOUR FACE--

LIKE THAT SMILE
OF CONTENTMENT--

SAY, "SEE THAT?
SEE THERE?

"THAT'S A FACE
THAT'S LIKED AND LOVED.

A FACE WITH FRIENDS
AND A FUTURE."

FIND SOME OTHER WAY
TO FORCE ME TO STAY?

BEN.

I'M EVERYTHING
BUT DEVIOUS.

MAYOR NICHOLSON, COULD YOU
COME CHECK THESE RIBS

AND TELL ME
IF THEY'RE DONE?

I SURE CAN.

RIGORS OF THE JOB,
YOU KNOW?

WELL, YOU GOT YOUR FIRE
WAY TOO HIGH,

I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

OH, WE'LL BURN
THIS HOUSE DOWN.

DON'T DO THAT.

HURRY UP!

COME ON !

COME ON !

HI, DOC.

HOWDY.

GENTLEMEN.

OH, NO.

OH, NO!

CAREFUL WITH THOSE THINGS.

HEY.

I KNOW I SHOULDN'T
BE DOING THIS

'CAUSE YOU'RE LEAVING
DAY AFTER TOMORROW,

BUT I DON'T CARE.
I CAN'T HELP IT.

SO GET IN.

DO YOU MEAN
WHAT I THINK YOU MEAN?

JUST GET IN IF YOU'RE
GOING TO GET IN.

UH, LOU, I'M GOING
TO BE HONEST WITH YOU.

ROWING A BOAT ISN'T
WHAT I HAD IN MIND.

NOT BAD, HUH?

INCREDIBLE.

WHAT'S THAT?

FRESH WATER MULLET.

THEY SEE THE SPARKS
FROM THE SKYROCKETS,

THINK IT'S FOOD,
AND JUMP FOR IT.

WELL, THAT'S SCARY.

MAYBE I CAN...

SIT NEXT TO YOU.
YOU COULD PROTECT ME.

NO. YOU'LL THROW US
OFF-BALANCE.

I WANT YOU OFF BALANCE.

IT'S IN THE BOAT!

IT'S ALL RIGHT.
STAY DOWN.

GET IT. KILL IT.

WATCH IT. O.K.
I GOT IT.

YOU DID THAT
ON PURPOSE.

ALL RIGHT. I ADMIT IT.

I WORKED MY WAY
THROUGH COLLEGE

BY TRAINING BASS.

LOU?

IT'S O.K.

LISTEN, IF YOU
DON'T WANT TO...

BEN, I DON'T THINK
I'VE EVER WANTED

ANYTHING MORE
IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, EVER.

I'M JUST NOT USED TO BEING
A ONE-NIGHT STAND.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE.

I MEAN, YOU COULD--

NO, I WOULDN'T KNOW
WHAT TO DO WITH MYSELF

IN LOS ANGELES.

THERE ARE
TOO MANY CHOICES.

LET'S NOT
THINK ABOUT IT, O.K.?

I CAN'T DO THIS.

DO YOU MIND
WALKING FROM HERE?

I DON'T WANT TO GIVE
THE GOSSIPS

ANY MORE FAT TO CHEW.

ALL RIGHT.

DON'T WORRY, BENJAMIN.
IT'LL ALL WORK OUT.

YEAH.

HEY, JASMINE.

HEY, HANK.

YOU'VE MADE ME...

REAL MAD.

UH, ABOUT WHAT?

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

I KNOW YOU WERE OUT
ON THAT LAKE WITH HER.

MAKES ME SICK TO THINK
OF YOU AND HER...

NOTHING HAPPENED.

OH, RIGHT.

HEY, NOTHING HAPPENED!

COME ON, TOUGH GUY!
COME ON, COUNTRY BOY!

YOU WANT TO TAKE
A SHOT AT ME?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

COME ON, COUNTRY BOY!
GET UP! LET'S GO!

ARE YOU PARANOID
OR SOMETHING?

NO.

BUT I'M
A LITTLE CONFUSED.

I SUPPOSE YOU AND HER'LL
BE GETTING MARRIED NOW.

WHAT?

IT'S THE SOUTHERN WAY.

MAN AND WOMAN AS ONE.

MAKE SACRIFICES
TO BUILD EQUITY

IN A FUTURE
THAT HAS SECURITY.

WHY DO YOU SOUND
LIKE A MUTUAL OF OMAHA AD?

FINE. JOKE IT UP.

AT LEAST I WAS PREPARED
TO MARRY HER.

SHE'S NOT IN LOVE
WITH YOU, HANK.

O.K. THAT'S THE ONLY
ROADBLOCK, THOUGH.

LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING.

DON'T YOU THINK A GUY'S

ENTITLED TO CHOOSE
HIS OWN DESTINY?

WHETHER IT'S A SMALL TOWN
OR EVEN IN CALIFORNIA.

IT'S JUST THAT HE SHOULDN'T
HAVE IT HANDED TO HIM.

YOU KNOW, LIKE
IT'S A--YOU KNOW...

A HAT?

RIGHT. O.K., GOOD.
LIKE A HAT.

YOUR FATHER WORE IT,
YOUR GRANDFATHER WORE IT, TOO.

NOW YOU'RE
STUCK WITH IT,

ONLY IT'S TOO SMALL.

IT JUST DOESN'T FIT.

I HATE A TIGHT HAT.

THERE'S A LOT OF HATS
OUT THERE, HANKSTER,

AND EVEN
IF THIS ONE FITS,

AND I'M NOT SAYING THAT IT DOES,
JUST HYPOTHETICALLY,

HOW DO YOU KNOW
IT'S THE RIGHT ONE

WHEN YOU HAVEN'T EVEN
TRIED ANY OTHERS ON?

I SURE HAVEN'T.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT
I'M TALKING ABOUT.

I JUST DON'T WANT
TO SCREW UP HER LIFE.

YOU KNOW, HOLLYWOOD...

SOMETIMES
A MAN'S GOT TO DO

WHAT A MAN'S GOT TO DO.

AND MAYBE...MAYBE
IT'S IN CALIFORNIA.

YEAH,
MAYBE YOU'RE RIGHT.

I'M GLAD WE GOT THAT
CLEANED UP.

ME, TOO, HANK.

DON'T THAT TAKE THE RAG
OFF THE BUSH?

DON'T FORGET
WHAT I TOLD YOU.

HEY.

HEY! PLEASE!

SHIT.

SHIT.

SHIT.

DR. STONE.

MARY. DECIDED TO DROP BY,
SEE HOW YOU WERE DOING.

NO DAMN GOOD.
WATER'S BROKE. I HURT.

THIS AIN'T LIKE
THE OTHERS.

NAH, THEY NEVER ARE.

DID HOGUE SAY ANYTHING

ABOUT THIS BABY
COMING OUT THE WRONG WAY?

HE'S COMING.
HE DON'T CARE WHICH WAY.

AW, F-FIDDLESTICKS.

DON'T PUSH, MARY.

I CAN GET
AN AMBULANCE.

THERE'S NO TIME FOR THAT.

GO INTO MY DUFFEL BAG.
THERE'S CLEAN SHIRTS--

RIP THEM INTO EVEN PIECES.

MARY, DON'T PUSH. I KNOW
YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO,

BUT JUST DON'T PUSH.

I'LL TRY
TO TURN HIM AROUND

SO HE'S COMING OUT
THE RIGHT WAY.

IS IT THESE?
AIR-MAN-EYE?

ARMANI. ARMANI.

THOSE ARE THE ONES.

HEH HEH.

AAH !

O.K., NOW. NOW!

GOOD. GREAT. GREAT.

GREAT!

O.K., O.K., HOLD ON.
ALL RIGHT.

NOW, GO! PUSH!
PUSH, MARY!

PUSH, MARY.
YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

YOU'RE DOING GREAT.

I GOT A LEG.

I GOT A LEG.

O.K., DON'T PUSH, MARY.

AAH !

O.K., ALL RIGHT.

O.K. GO AHEAD.
GO AHEAD.

SOMEONE'S COMING!

WHAT?

DOC,
SOMEONE'S COMING!

AAH !

ALL RIGHT.

ONE MORE.
HERE WE GO.

PUSH! PUSH, MARY!

GREAT!

AAH !

DOC, YOUR CAR!

WHAT DO I DO?

AAH !

AAH !

GOOD GIRL!

WHAT DO I DO?

PUSH, MARY.

AAH !

AAH !

IT'S A GIRL!

AAH !

I THINK
I CAN FIX THAT.

STONE!

YOU RANG?

FIRST BREECH
YOU EVER DELIVERED?

FIRST BABY
I EVER DELIVERED...

BY MYSELF.

WHISKEY?

NO, THANKS.

I WOULDN'T
RECOMMEND THAT

FOR YOU, EITHER.

WELL, YOU'RE NOT MY DOCTOR,

AND YOU'RE NOT MY WIFE,

SO I GUESS YOU DON'T HAVE
VERY MUCH TO SAY ABOUT IT.

OH, YOU'RE NOT FIXING
TO STAY, EH, STONE?

CHANGED YOUR MIND, HUH?

NOW THAT YOUR CAR'S
ALL BUSTED TO BUBKES

AND YOU'RE FEELING GOOD
ABOUT YOURSELF

IN GENERAL, HUH?

YEAH.

COME HERE.

I HAD THEM UP ONCE.

OVER 700 BABIES
I DELIVERED IN THIS TOWN

OVER THE YEARS.

NURSE PACKER.

SHE POPPED
RIGHT OUT

COMPLETE
WITH TEETH AND HAIR

AND BIT ME.

AN OMEN.

NICHOLSON. HANK.

YEAH.

I GAVE THEM BIRTH,

SAW THEM THROUGH

EVERY SNEEZE
AND SNIFFLE

AND SOMETIMES
EVEN WALKED THEM

TO THE GRAVE SITES.

THEY'RE PRETTY WELL
MY PORTFOLIO, STONE.

THAT
AND AN OLD CAR,

AN OLD HOUSE.

I WOULDN'T TRADE
ANY OF THEM FOR GOLD.

WELL, MAYBE GOLD.

OR CASH MONEY.

HEY.

DOC.

KYLE. HEY, MARY,
HOW'S OUR GIRL?

WE DECIDED SHE'S GOING
TO BE BENJAMINA,

AFTER YOU.

WHAT?

THANK YOU.

THERE'S AN OBSTETRICIAN
COMING UP

FROM
ATHENS GENERAL TODAY

JUST TO MAKE SURE
EVERYTHING'S O.K.

BENJAMINA.

YO, DOC.

I WANTED
JUST TO THANK YOU

FOR, YOU KNOW,
EVERYTHING,

SO I MADE YOU THIS
IN APPRECIATION.

I KNOW IT AIN'T MUCH,

SO IF THERE'S
EVER ANYTHING

I CAN DO FOR YOU...

JUST LET ME KNOW
WHAT HAPPENS

WITH ELLEN, JIMMY JOE,
AND THE PAKISTANI.

I HEARD WHAT HAPPENED
LAST NIGHT.

YOU DID GREAT.

I DIDN'T KNOW
WHAT I WAS DOING.

WELL, SOMETIMES
THAT'S THE BEST WAY.

UM, BEN,
THERE'S SOMETHING

THAT
I WANTED TO SAY.

SOMETHING I WANTED

TO SAY TO YOU FIRST.
IS THAT O.K.?

O.K.

SO, I'VE BEEN DOING
A LOT OF THINKING

ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

I MEAN, LAST NIGHT
WAS REALLY...DIFFICULT...

FOR ME.

EVERYTHING'S
ALL TURNED AROUND NOW.

I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT YOU AND ME

AND BIG CITIES,
SMALL TOWNS...

I'M GOING TO MARRY HANK.

I'VE DECIDED.

IT'S A PLANE TICKET
TO LOS ANGELES.

THE WHOLE TOWN
CHIPPED IN.

WE'VE KEPT YOU HERE
THIS LONG,

AND IF YOU HAVE
TO WAIT FOR MELVIN

TO FIX
YOUR CAR AGAIN...

YOU GOT LOS ANGELES
WAITING FOR YOU.

I'VE GOT EMMA.
IT'S NOT FAIR TO YOU.

HANK'S STEADY,
AND HE'S HERE.

YOU...

YOU'RE LIKE A BIG BRIGHT
SHOOTING STAR,

AND YOU'RE RIGHT, BEN.
YOU'D BURN OUT HERE.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT A MINUTE.

BEN, YOU HAVE
FIVE MINUTES

TO SAY GOODBYE
TO SHANGRI-LA.

COTTON'LL GIVE YOU
A POLICE ESCORT

TO THE AIRPORT.

WE MADE YOU
A SACK LUNCH.

AIRPLANE FOOD
CAN CAUSE GAS.

THANKS.

I GUESS I'LL WATCH
AFTER YOUR PIG.

JUST HOPE SHE
TAKES TO THE FARM

AFTER LIVING
IN TOWN LIKE THIS.

APPRECIATE IT.

A LOT OF FOLKS
AROUND HERE

ARE GOING TO
MISS YOU.

I DON'T MEAN ME,

BUT A LOT OF FOLKS.

ADIEU.

BACK TO THE INTERSTATE,
BEN STONE, HUH?

BACK TO THE INTERSTATE.

BYE.

BYE.

YOU O.K.?

OH. AHEM.

OH, YES, I AM FINE.

GOOD MORNING.
HALBERSTROM CLINIC.

COULD YOU HOLD, PLEASE?

GOOD MORNING.
HALBERSTROM CLINIC.

GOOD MORNING.
HALBERSTROM CLINIC.

GOOD MORNING. HAL--
OH. HOLD.

YES, DOCTOR.

MR. STONE?

DR. STONE.

OHH.

UH, DR. HALBERSTROM
CAN SEE YOU NOW.

YOU HAVE ANY IDEA
HOW MANY APPLICATIONS

I HAD TO GO THROUGH
THIS YEAR, STONE?

OH, YES, SIR.

THAT'S WHY I KNEW
THIS INTERVIEW WAS IMPORTANT.

I WOULD'VE BEEN HERE EARLIER
IF I COULD'VE BEEN.

I KNOW YOU'RE A GREAT
SURGEON, STONE.

THAT PILE'S FULL
OF GREAT SURGEONS.

DID YOU EXPECT
SPECIAL CONSIDERATION

BECAUSE WE COME
FROM THE SAME HOMETOWN?

BECAUSE I KNEW
YOUR FATHER BEFORE HE DIED?

NO, SIR.

GOOD. 'CAUSE
YOU DIDN'T GET SHIT.

YOU WOULDN'T
HAVE BEEN HERE

IF IT HADN'T BEEN FOR A CALL
FROM DR. AURELIUS HOGUE.

UH, UH, DR. HOGUE
CALLED YOU?

I SAW TWO DOCTORS
LAST WEEK

WITH MORE
EXPERIENCE THAN YOU

AND BETTER BOARD
CERTIFICATION SCORES.

DR. HOGUE'S A PIECE
OF WORK, ISN'T HE?

WHAT DID HE SAY?

THAT YOU WERE DOING
VOLUNTEER FAMILY PRACTICE

DOWN SOUTH SOMEWHERE.

YES. UH, YEAH. YES.

YES, YES. THAT'S RIGHT.

WENT THERE TO GET

THAT SMALL-TOWN CHIP
OFF YOUR SHOULDER?

YEAH.

YOU'RE BRAVER
THAN I WAS, STONE.

IN ANY CASE, HOGUE
SAID YOU WERE, QUOTE,

"ONE HELLACIOUSLY
FINE PHYSICIAN."

THAT I WOULD BE
A "BOVINE, CLODPATED,

CITIFIED MORON"
IF I DIDN'T HIRE YOU

ON THE SPOT.

WROTE IT DOWN
SO I WOULDN'T FORGET.

SO YOU'RE IN, STONE.
CONGRATS.

WHAT TIME DO I TEE OFF?

YOU DO PLAY GOLF,
DON'T YOU?

GREAT, GREAT.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT THAT.

IT'S NOT ANYWHERE
YOU CAN SEE IT.

THE SECRET
TO THIS BUSINESS

IS TO GET
A GOOD PACE GOING.

NOBODY LIKES
TO ADMIT IT,

BUT MEDICINE'S
A VOLUME BUSINESS.

99% OF WHAT WE DO
IS BOILER-PLATE SURGERY.

IT MEANS WE CAN AFFORD
THE 1 % THAT'S MEANINGFUL.

DISFIGUREMENTS,
BIRTH DEFECTS,

HARELIPS,

CLEFT PALATES.

YOU LIVE
FOR THOSE MOMENTS.

THE BIGGER YOU GET,
THE BIGGER THE NUT.

WE'RE A SERVICE INDUSTRY.

FIXED COSTS,
SPECIALIZATION.

PEOPLE ADJUST
TO IT OR FAIL.

LOOK AT CABLE TV.

YOU'LL SEE
SOME CHANGES, STONE.

STONE?

SEE IF PATIENT
NUMBER 434 IS IN PRE-OP YET.

WE CAN SQUEEZE ONE MORE IN
BEFORE LUNCH, DON'T YA THINK?

THE V-2 BOMBINGS--

PEPSI TO
THE SOVIET UNION--

IN THE WA--

HI. THIS IS THE NATIONAL
WEATHER SERVICE FORECAST

FOR THE GREATER
GRADY AREA TOMORROW.

THERE'LL BE PLENTY
OF SUNSHINE

AND BLUE SKIES.

THE OLD TEMPERATURE
SHOULD BE

IN THE 90s AGAIN,

BUT A COOL AFTERNOON BREEZE

WILL MAKE IT
WORTHWHILE COME EVENING.

Y'ALL LOOK OUT
FOR THE LIGHTNING BUGS

AFTER SUNSET.

ACTRESS ALERT.

EXCUSE ME?

SOME GIRL CALLED FOR YOU.

SAID YOU'D KNOW
WHO IT WAS.

SAID SHE'D MEET YOU
AT THIS BAR.

LIKE, AS IF YOU'RE
GOING TO RUSH RIGHT OVER THERE.

RIGHT.

TOTALLY UNBELIEVABLE
SOUTHERN ACCENT.

AN ACTRESS, I'LL BET.

HI, CAN I HELP YOU?

YEAH. I'M SUPPOSED
TO MEET SOMEONE. A GIRL.

BEN.

COMING.

UH, NANCY LEE?

WELL, I HAD TO GIVE IT
A SHOT, YOU KNOW.

I MEAN, I JUST THOUGHT
JUST IN CASE.

GUESS NOT.

YOU, UH...

YOU DROVE
ALL THIS WAY

JUST TO BRING ME
MY CAR?

SORT OF.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW,

GAVE ME AN EXCUSE
TO GET THE HELL OUT OF GRADY.

PARDON MY FRENCH.

SINCE YOU LEFT, THINGS
GOT POSITIVELY STAGNANT.

UH, HOW'S HOGUE?

WELL...

HE'S THE SAME.

MELVIN?

SAME.

HOW'S YOUR DAD?

WHY DON'T YOU ASK ME
ABOUT VILOULA?

NO, LIKE, NAW,

WHAT'S THERE TO ASK,
REALLY?

SO I USED--
SHE AND HANK ARE--

YOU'RE IN MY CHAIR.

SLIDE A BIT, NANCY LEE.

THERE'S A MAN IN THE TOILET
SELLING AFTERSHAVE.

NOW, WHAT'S THAT
ALL ABOUT?

HANK.

WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

TOOK MY OWN ADVICE, DOC.

KNOWING WHEN TO STAY,
WHEN TO GET OUT.

I THOUGHT YOU AND LOU
WERE GOING TO GET...

LOU WAS NEVER
GOING TO MARRY ME,

SO I BROKE IT OFF
CLEAN.

YOU--YOU DUMPED HER?

MAN'S GOT TO DO
WHAT A MAN'S GOT TO DO.

EVEN IF
IT'S IN CALIFORNIA.

SENSE OF HIGHER PURPOSE,
YOU KNOW.

IS THAT--IS THAT A STAR?

NO, THAT'S TED DANSON.

I'M GOING FOR BREAKFAST.
YOU WANT ANYTHING?

MM-HMM. HOW ABOUT
BOB BARKER?

I'LL SEE WHAT I CAN DO.

HOWDY.

YOU STEAL THAT PIG?

I HEARD SHE WAS
WASTING AWAY

IN THIS ONE-PIG TOWN, SO--

AND YOU THOUGHT

YOU'D COME BACK
AND RESCUE HER.

YEAH.
SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
SHE'LL TAKE YOU BACK?

BECAUSE I LOVE HER.

GO BACK TO LOS ANGELES.

I DON'T WANT LOS ANGELES.

I WANT YOU.

YOU GOT GREAT TONSILS.

THAT AIN'T ALL.

YOU KNOW, I GUESS
I'M GOING TO HAVE TIME

TO COLLECT THAT $1 0
FROM NICHOLSON--

YOU LOST THAT BET.

I DID NOT.
WHO SAYS?

ME.

YOU HAVE NO SAY.
YOU ARE THE BET.

THE BET WAS
FOR ONE WEEK. YOU LOST.

IT'S YOUR WORD
AGAINST MINE.

YOU WOULD
SULLY MY REPUTATION

FOR 1 0 MEASLY DOLLARS?

HA HA HA. ABSOLUTELY.

I DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT SULLY MEANS.

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY
WARNER BROS.

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL
CAPTIONING INSTITUTE
--www.ncicap.org--