Original subtitles

UGLY, DIRTY AND BAD

The door.

The damn door.

One of these days, I'll nail it shut.

- Bye. See you around. - Bye.

- It's so cold this morning. - The air's colder.

Obviously...

LOVE AND FIDELITY

So you tried again last night, huh?

Bunch of criminals.

The money's mine.

The eye that the quicklime blinded was mine.

And the insurance money's mine too.

Get it?

If you don't get it, I'll make sure you do with my rifle.

Gangsters... sons of bitches.

This is my house, I built it with my own hands.

Brick by brick.

And you live here like in a hotel. For free.

Without spending a single lira.

Hey, presto!

Uncle's darling. Fatty.

I'd like to eat you. You little cute thing.

Are you crazy? The blood will go to his head!

- Why are you screaming? - He's a baby!

Go away.

- For what it cost you... - Leave me alone.

Gaetana, are you gonna give me the 5,000 lire or not?

The million is mine and nobody can touch it.

At least give me 3,000.

Scoundrels.

Give me 2,000. If you don't, how am I gonna look for work? On foot?

What are you looking for?

You look for work and you pray to the Virgin that you don't find any.

Mind your own business.

Yeah, yeah...

Hey, you, I'm waiting for you!

Wait, wait... Just a moment.

Hope they kill you...

I'll throw you all out of here.

- Here. - Relatives are like boots.

The closer the tie, the more they hurt.

You want the money?

Throw some quicklime in your eye if you want the money.

- Make a good cut. Look here. - Just let me work.

God, it's late. Maria Libera.

If you don't like it, get another.

- Hold the baby. - Give me 500.

Mennea, I'm ready. If Trombetta comes, tell him to wait.

Sure. I'm sure he'll wait for you...

Give me 200... 100...

At least give me a kiss.

Will you quit doing this every morning?

Cut it out, will you?

They're waiting for you, hurry!

- A scooter indoors! - They can both fuck off.

I'll smash the scooter with a hammer.

He's here free, without paying a lira, and he's not even my son.

He is your son.

- He's not my son. - Whose son is he then?

You're asking me? Ask the whore inside you.

- He was born in December, right? - So?

I'd been in prison for two years. And I got out in May.

- He was born in December. - So?

- He was born after seven months. - No, he was born a whore's son.

I'll kick you all out.

You tried to steal my money last night too, didn't you?

Again.

I'll strangle you!

Ouch! Don't you start too, Dad!

Dishonest cowards.

- I'll stay here. - No, no, come.

A bullet in the head for all of them.

If not today, then tomorrow.

All here?

- Romolo! - Corning.

The road is not yours.

Cicala! Hey, Cicala!

Be quiet or you'll wake up Tommasina. She came home late.

Too many customers.

That's your sister you're talking about. My daughter is without sin.

And without underwear!

- She strips for work. - Like whores!

She's a respected model.

- From behind! - And from the front.

Where does she strut her stuff?

That's what your sister does. Fuck you!

This week, Tommasina is the centerfold.

Of what? The church bulletin?

Let's see...

She's hot.

Look at them tits!

- But that's not Tommasina. - Yes, it is.

I recognize the tits.

- What magazine's that? - Jerkofiboy

- Cover her up or she'll catch cold! - I'll keep her warm!

Let's go, I'm bored.

Let's go!

Just leave!

You're just jealous! Your sisters aren't so successful!

She's gonna star in a movie too!

In Asses High!

Mom! What time is it?

- Poor thing. They woke you up. - I'm sleepy.

- Jerks. - What did they want?

Hey, gimme my case back! Fuck you.

- Mine! - Fucking bastards!

Mine!

- Mine! - Come over here!

Gimme my bucket! Go get killed!

You blind or what?

Your hat.

Let's go, come on! Let's go to work!

Hey, Mennea!

Romolo, wait for me!

You got filth all over me, idiot!

What's a little extra black to you?

I'm late, take me to the bus stop.

Granddad.

The Celhoio sisters said they won't give you wine if you don't pay them.

I should kill them.

Damn loan sharks.

Here. That's 1,000 lire.

That's 500.

When your grandfather tells you it's 1,000...

They're 500.

You always contradict me.

Always contradicting me! All of you!

Go!

Bring me the change.

All of you.

All of you.

Bye, Mom.

- Hi, Tommasina. - Hello.

I'll walk you to the tram.

I start work today in that building. I'm gonna be a maid.

What a beauty you are, Tommasina.

Of course, you're an artist.

Sure, sure...

Is it hard to work posing for pictures, Tommasi?

- No, it's like doing nothing. - Really?

And for doin' nothing they pay you so good?

It depends on what you show.

If you show a little, it's 5,000 lire per hour.

If you show everything, it gets to 20.

Gee whiz. D'you let 'em see everything?

I do what the director tells me.

That lady gives me 500 lire an hour, and I don't get undressed.

And what would you show?

I worked as a maid there too.

Remember, it's better to get naked. I tell ya.

Where you taking me?

If you say, “Thank you,” I'll take you all the way to work.

- Thank you. - No, you gotta say it when I tell you.

Look, don't waste my time, what d'you want?

Just a minute. You say, “Thank you,” and we take off.

Yes, yes, thank you... I understood your game, Romolo.

Please, don't make me waste time.

- A quickie... - At this time of day?

I am a morning type.

- When I get home, I'll tell your brother. - Right, and he'll slap ya around.

- No, no. I said no. - I'll give you 1,000 lire.

It's not about money. lt's getting late.

Some other time we'll do it.

Though in-laws shouldn't.

- Go fuck yourself. - There it is.

You got a whore's face and figure.

Why not rise to the situation, know what I mean?

They tried again last night...

My own flesh and blood...

- Assunta. - Here I am.

- Assunta! - Here I am!

- Bring me another one. - At once.

- Listen... - What you doing?

- Give us a kiss. - Stop, you pig. My sister's lookin'.

- Give us a kiss. - My sister's looking!

What do you care about your sister?

I'm gonna get ya, you know...

Assunta...

Marcellina, come here. Listen...

- Do you remember? - I don't remember.

- No? - And keep your hands to yourself.

- You don't remember. Have you forgotten? - I don't remember anything.

- You remember, you remember. - I don't remember.

Do you remember you have to pay for half a liter?

- From when? - From now.

It's not as if I'm leaving.

Damn.

Here, Marcellina.

Listen.

- Marcelli, you was really some dish... - Knock it off.

No, shit, you were really something.

Oh, yeah, really.

- Friends... - Cesarettois here.

Hurry, hurry, ladies, step right up.

Soap, bleach, toilet paper, napkins,

bath soap, talcum powder, bubble bath, bug killer, DDT,

coffee glasses, punch glasses, cappuccino cups.

Brooms, mops, brushes,

dusters, highest quality, lowest prices.

Cloths, toilet paper, napkins...

Soap, detergent, deodorant, talc.

Cesaretto sells everything by weight and by package.

Paid in cash from the factory.

Brooms, brushes. Buckets, pails. All colors.

Tubs, demijohns, unbreakable plastic, wax,

insecticides, rat poison.

Hi, Giacinto.

So, all right, hello...

Women, come out of the house. Cesarettds here.

Cesaretto sells everything cheap, below cost,

always low prices.

Women, get pretty.

Shaving cream, blades. Cesaretto brings you everything.

Towels, long and short stockings.

Extra virgin wool undershins.

Cotton underpants, glues, needles,

threads in all colors, ointment for corns,

Band-Aids, cotton, alcohol.

Bowls, buckets and plastic containers...

...a new course in both domestic and foreign affairs.

Government intervention,

a typical example being the vast hydrologic project

in the Tennessee valley...

Who came?

Who came?

Nobody. Who was supposed to come?

So, nobody, huh?

The USA now moves confidently...

as if to echo Ro0sevelt's famous phrase.

“The only thing we have to fear is fear itself”.

- Ah, I understood. Fear. Fear. - What about this?

The U.S. reaffirms the fundamental principles of freedom...

- So, what's this? - A toilet brush.

So, you know, huh?

Who brought it?

- A gift from Cesaretto. - Cesaretto, my ass!

When I'm not in, I don't want men in my house!

Of course. The maid comes out and says: “The lady is not in.”

If he gave you that, you must have given something too.

Get off me! What did I give him?

In front of the kid doing his homework, in front of your mother!

She's even more of a whore than you!

- What did you give him? Tell me! - Get off me!

If you move, I'll slice you.

- Grabbed a knife, did you? - Move!

- I'm so scared. - Move.

No, I ain't moving.

Go on, Mati, kick him in the nuts.

Scratch out his good eye,

the bastard son of a flea-bitten whore!

He killed me!

You were witnesses that she tried to kill me.

You were born to hang!

Good morning, one and all. Hey, Pa, just the man I was looking for...

Help!

What did he do?

- He killed me! - Did he get mad?

No!

Help!

Help! Save me!

Enough. Cut it out.

Don't get mad, these things happen.

Listen, Dad... There's a great opportunity.

They're selling a salon for 300,000 lire.

- Nearby, on the road. - Hurry up, she's losing blood!

- Murderer! - Scream. Scream.

Four bad-luck crows.

Only 300,000 lire, what do you think?

Have you got 300,000 lire?

- No, I thought you could... - Me? What are you to me?

Were we in the army together? Are we friends? No. So?

I'll pay it back to you, so much each month...

You don't gotta pay me anythin', 'cause I ain't givin' you nothin'.

Ain't it enough I put you into the world,

should I open up a career for you too?

That's right, sonny, don't give it to him.

Pa, I'm telling ya for your own good. They'll steal your money.

Everybody hates you here. Startin' from Ma.

Do yourself a favor, you hate me, too.

You won't enjoy that money.

Either they'll steal it or you'll spend it in medical bills!

I don't care. Even if it's only good for my funeral...

I'm not giving it to you or to anybody else.

Is that clear? Lt is to me.

In “English” you say “clear”.

You hurt my ma.

What did you do to my ma?

I'll kill you for hurting my ma!

Be careful. You could get hurt!

Go to hell.

300,000 lire...

I'll give you 300,000 kicks in the ass.

The million's mine.

This is my eye.

They're waiting for me to die...

so they can take my house and my money.

...checking on the scores of “bootleggers”.

The smugglers of alcoholic drinks.

In 1929, America already seemed...

- Mom, what happened? - What happened?

I just got here.

- Morning. - Morning.

Look what pretty merchandise I brought ya today.

A clock with an angel.

In town it would cost you 100,000 lire. Plus the bus fare.

But you stole it and came here on foot.

Okay, okay, what'll ya give me for it?

- Fifty. - Where's the zero?

5,000 lire or nothing.

I'll take it. But it ain't fair. You'll never change, you thieves.

You said, “5,000.”

You owed us four. We're even.

Give us a pack of smokes.

Where're you going? Come here!

Don't run away! Come here!

Go home! Run off home! I'll kill you!

All right, Nando, going home already?

The heel broke. I have to change shoes.

- See ya. - Bye.

Where you going with that rat?

As she was picking flowers to dry,

others bloomed.

Then the girl did something very nice and very new.

She made a house with all the flowers in her garden.

Enough, Romolo. Plinio, is that you? Domizio?

- I'm Nando. - Ah, good.

But the charm only lasted a short while...

- Nando, what are you doing? - Guess.

I already guessed. Stop it.

Each house has its history.

Oh. Cut it out, will you?

Stop it.

- ...but we don't Know where it is. - Ah, no.

For me, the wind has no home. One day it's here, the next over there.

What's this?

Ah, a rat.

I don't understand. You dress like a girl and behave like a guy.

Oh, you're nuts. What you trying to do?

Nando, did you change your sex?

Cut it out. You're making me laugh.

People who went by would say:

“It must be beautiful

to have a house made of flowers and play inside it.

It must be such a happy fun house.”

What to do with all these flowers?

There weren't even enough flowerpots.

She had started picking flowers...

Damn, what a beating.

Cut it out, leave it!

Leave me alone!

No, lemme go!

I'll cut out your tongue!

I'll cut your tongue out!

For you it's all right, damn your sinning hide.

- What d'you want? - Homo, trannie, faggot...

Shut up, will ya?

Sure, sure, get outta here and take it in the ass.

- Bye, Mom. - Faggot.

I left because the sergeant I knew wasn't there.

He knows me real good from all the times I been there.

I tell him everything, he gets arrested and spends the rest of his life in jail.

- Bye, bye. - What happened to you?

Ah, here's our lupin seller.

Never lose their way home, do they?

- Hi, Tommasina. - Hi.

Come on.

- Hello, sweetheart. - Hello, Mom.

What a family!

Angela, how are you?

What a car. Must be somebody important.

- Who is he? - Oh, Gastone.

What do you want?

Where you taking me?

Harlot.

You did something bad.

Me? What are you saying? What was bad?

I saw you while you were washing your hair.

And what happened while I was washing my hair?

You had a “service” with my faggot son Nando.

Me? You're crazy.

Don't deny it. I saw you with this eye, bitch in heat.

- I didn't notice anything. - Oh, yeah?

Maybe it was me with my ass in the air, you little bitch.

You're hurting me!

Aren't you ashamed of doing it with your husband's brother?

Under the family roof.

What if your cuckold husband finds out?

What's he gonna say? What's he gonna say if he finds out?

I'm innocent. What could I do? I had to submit to the violence.

Be quiet, they'll hear you.

You should be more careful.

I'm talking for your own good. Like a father to a daughter.

With this build you got, you know,

men get hot just lookin' at ya.

You walk around the house and men get horny.

The heat settles in and what should not happen, happens.

What are you doing? I don't understand.

I won't tell your husband for the sake of peace in the house. Live and let live...

But just let me do it. If you accept, Daddy won't speak.

You're understanding, aren't you?

- You're really cute. - Not that way!

Why not?

You pushing me?

Wait. Wait.

How'd you get so beautiful...

Beautiful,

so beautiful...

Come on, behave yourself.

If you don't want to be touched, stay at home.

Nobody touches me there.

Lisetta, give the sick something to eat.

Diomede.

What's the matter?

What happened?

D'you wanna tell Lisetta why you're crying?

I had a dream.

Was the dream bad enough to make you cry?

It wasn't a bad dream.

I dreamed I was making love.

I really feel like it now...

Aren't you ashamed at your age?

People think that when you're old desire wanes.

On the contrary, it increases.

Lisetta, would you do me a favor?

Don't start. I work here, I don't do dirty things.

I beg you. Just with your hand, what you got to lose?

Get it out of your head and eat.

Nobody... nobody loves me...

Lisetta, I ask it of you like a daughter.

All right, then.

But it's the last time.

I'm tired of this. You got hands too.

It's not fair that for 40,000 a month...

Lisetta, you're wanted in the kitchen.

I can't go, I'm busy with Diomede.

I'll take care of Diomede.

Lady..

Lady, could you tell me where's this street is, please?

I not be from Rome.

Go!

Where're you going?

Idiots!

Stop! Don't be stupid!

Wait!

A hundred lire.

Just a hundred lire, please...

That enough?

A hundred lire.

Just a hundred lire.

Give me a hundred lire?

A hundred lire.

A chicken salesman...

His cousin pressed charges against his own father.

Is he locked up now?

Now he's in his house, but he lost his parental rights.

My father doesn't care about parental rights.

He's got a rifle.

We have to get him locked up. We're fed up with him.

But wasn't he in Santa Maria della Pietà?

Of course. Three years.

But in there he raped a nun and got sent back to prison.

Look how a millionaire's daughter has to work.

Damn him.

Giacinto, wanna play with us?

He's the only guy you can beat? He's drunk.

You give birth to them...

and they think just about money.

Appliances...

The world in colors... at your house...

Beautiful...

Soft...

Fast...

All your dreams...

Your dreams...

Safe...

Free...

Agile...

Buy...

Buy...

Spend...

and you'll be happy.

My million...

My million.

Where did they put it?

- Hand it over, you hear me? - What's going on?

Hand the money over or I'll bust ya in two!

- Nut case! - All of you!

I'll slit every throat in the house... Thieves! Criminals!

My million!

Give me the money, jerk, or I'll turn you in.

- What's happening? - This time it'll be life in prison for you!

Where did they put it? It ain't here no more.

You grabbed it. You dirty faggot! Turn around!

What do you want? Leave me alone!

Do you want a golden dress? What an idiot I am!

- He'll break everything! - This is my house!

- All of you want my money! - You're busting our balls!

The electric cooker, the bubble bath, the orthopedic leg...

Give the money or I'll break your good leg. Where is it?

- Here inside? - Mom!

- If it doesn't turn up, I'll tear down the house. - Dad, you're drunk.

- Taking advantage of a sleeping father! - Shut up!

- What the crap are you blabbin' about? - I'll give you a motorcycle, with a crash helmet.

- I want the money! - Nobody took it.

What the fuck do you want?

You wanna wear a tuxedo in front of the orchestra, don't ya?

- What? - You'd like that, wouldn't you?

To fuck a beautiful singer... with my money.

If I don't get my money back, there'll be a massacre.

I'll handle this.

- Mom! - Now cut it out! We've had enough!

- Don't you try. - I'll kill him!

Come on, all together!

My God! The rifle!

The television set! The television set!

Dad, don't do nothin' stupid!

He's got the shotgun!

He's gonna smash the TV... Kill him!

Mazzatella.

Mazzatella, Giacinto.

Mazzatella.

- To the deputy's? - To the chiefs.

“March 8:

attempted kidnapping of a minor for immoral purposes...

April 20:

drunk and disorderly, assault on your wife...”

When?

- When you knifed your wife. - Ah, yes... But she's okay now.

Today: threats, injuries, carrying a gun

and attempted homicide of your son.

You know, I see you more often than I see my own wife.

Tell him, Cerione. I see him more than my wife.

- It's true. - lt's him that calls me...

- Giacinto. - Yeah?

What you see here is your file.

There's another one for your wife. And one for each of your kids.

We've got a whole room just for you!

- Giacinto. - Yes, yes, sir.

- We can't live this way. - Yes, nowadays...

- You have to choose. - Yes, sir.

- Either you quit causing trouble... - Yes.

Or... listen to me.

Just kill all your fucking family and leave me alone!

I have extenuating circumstances. They stole my money.

If the judge gave me 10 years, I'd be happy.

Good for you. I don't give a fuck.

I'll tell you just one thing:

If I see you around here again, either as accused or accusing,

I'll send you to prison for five years.

- Yes, sir. - And now leave. Get lost.

- Since I'm here, can I report something? - No!

I want to report my family for aggravated robbery.

Aggravated? Why aggravated?

By the fact that the money was mine.

Good thing I dreamed they'd stolen it.

I got up, went to the bathroom, where I hid it and...

How stupid of me. The money was in the bathroom.

I hid it behind the brick in the kitchen a different time.

Can they take me with the Jeep? I'm in a hurry.

No, hey? Ya bring me here in a car and I gotta walk home.

We're from RAI TV. Are you moving?

Can't you see?

Do you want to say something for our report on the slums?

- Are we artists? - Now we'll tell you a fable.

Hey, the cable.

- You look too. - Hey, Gaetana. Let's go, the TV's here.

Come on, come with me.

Come, come. They want to interview us.

There's nothing here.

Nor here.

Where the fuck did the bastard put the money?

Feeble idiot. He can't remember where he put it and goes and shoots me.

Have you looked in the shitter already?

I looked. I told you.

Did you look properly? Hey, Domí, come here.

With all that commotion, the money's got to be here.

- Shut up. - What is it?

- Did you find something? - Yes.

Look where it was.

- It was a rat. - A rat.

Hey, you! Excuse me! A word for the RAI TV...

- Go fuck yourself. - They let him go.

- What are you doing? - Cleaning, can't you see?

You never even cleaned the house for Easter...

so what's all this frenzy now?

- You sure there was nothing in there? - Yeah, sure.

- But what's he doing in the shitter? - What everyone does in the shitter.

- The money was in there. - He says he looked everywhere.

You was cleanin' house, eh?

Go on. You never cleaned the shitter though.

Damn. In the shitter.

It's nice to have a clean family.

You watch out for Dad. I don't always miss.

- Looked well, did you? - Ya blind moron!

- Take this! - lt wasn't there!

Go on cleaning, I'll go have some drinks!

My throat dried up.

I haven't drunk anything for two days. I feel like a...

teetotaler.

A letter! The postman gave it to me.

- Is it for us? - Give it to me, I'll read it.

- Let go! - You can't even read.

Why, Can you?

- Give it to me, I'll read it. - You read it.

Grandmother's pension!

Wake up, Grandma, we're going for a walk! Lift that chair, come on!

Gangway! Come on, clear the way!

We're rich! We're rich!

No! I don't want to go to the nursing home!

Leave me alone! Leave me!

- Come on, just put an X. - I don't want to go!

- Sign. - I don't want to go to the nursing home!

I don't!

Old age is a sad thing.

Bankbook.

Don't pay her no mind, miss, Granny carries on like this every month.

She thinks we're taking her to the nursing home.

Could you make it all in 1,000 lire notes?

- Shut up. - I don't want to go!

One... two... three... four... five... six... seven.

Here you are, madam, your pension. lt's 37,000 lire.

Whore! You're going to the nursing home!

Hold it, I'll take the money.

The money, the money!

- Leave it! - Always bullying!

No, sir! Take me home right now!

I ain't going to no nursing home!

Be quiet, Gran.

Here, Gran, here's a sucker.

Lick it slow 'cause it's gotta last ya till the next check.

One, two, three, four and five. Go away.

- Three, four, five. - Don't you steal.

One, two, three, four, five.

- And the freebie? - 1,000 freebie lire.

1,000 lire? You're crazy!

That's stealing!

You're worse than your old man.

Come here. Push this way.

Take Grandma home.

You still haven't told me your name.

Iside.

They say it's an ancient name.

Mine's ancient too:

Giacinto.

That was my granddad's name too.

Your bread.

Here's your olives.

Oxtail stew and celery go together like Adam and Eve,

they stick together good.

Give her the old celery stick, heh?

At home no one understands me.

No one loves me.

I'm all alone, like a dog.

Why “alone?”

Didn't you tell me you had a wife, a dozen children

tons of relatives and grandchildren?

They're not kindred. They're my enemies.

From today on, all I've got is you. Just the two of us, lside.

And no one else.

Here's your cod fillets.

Marcellina...

another liter for us and one for these paupers.

- Here. - Okay.

And bring them a few cod fillets too.

If they want them... Mr. Giacinto's treat.

To my health and to my lady lside's.

I want everyone to know how generous a gentleman like Giacinto is.

Believe this, fool:

Kick your wife in the ass and get yourself a nice whore.

Right, love?

Watch it, honey, there's a little bridge here where I always lose my shoe.

No, no. This way. This way.

Sure they won't mind?

Who owns my house? I do. And I invite whoever I want.

But a stranger at 1:00 in the morning...

- I'm falling. - lt might seem indelicate.

You're not a stranger, darling.

You're my friend. And I am the house owner.

I wouldn't want your wife to get offended.

What's your wife like?

Very understanding...

If you slap her around.

Come.

Everything in order.

Matilde...

Look who I brought along.

- I'll introduce you to... - Who's this?

- Let me introduce you to Miss lside. - My pleasure.

- What does this whore want? - I knew it.

As from today, lside lives with me and sleeps with us.

The bed is large. We'll snuggle up.

Make yourself comfortable.

Drunkard, what are you saying? I don't even know her.

I already told you, she's lside.

- And so she sleeps with us? - Yes, on my side.

Don't you like her? She's clean.

You can stay with us. Where you going?

To wake everybody up and have them beat you up.

What the fuck is goin' on now?

Camillo, Romolo, Domizio!

- Hey, Toto! Answer me! - What do you want?

Your father brought a whore to the house.

Great, but no thanks. I wanna sleep right now.

- Excuse me... - Of course.

- Sit down here. - If you don't mind.

- Hear me and follow the logic. - I'll toss her out.

And I'll toss you out.

We've been together 30 years, why can't she be here too?

I'm your wife.

What about feelings? A man is a man.

What man? You can't get it up no more!

With you. Ask her.

Ask her about what we did under the billboard.

- I was on fire just like a teenager. - Get outta here, teenager.

You don't understand that...

- Who are you? - lside.

- What are you doing here? - I'm a guest.

- Whose? - Giacinto's.

- But his wife doesn't like me. - Why?

- I like you. - No...

So you want me to become a widower.

Say it, I'll oblige immediately.

- Watch it... - The rifle!

...'Cause I'll blow your head off, you know?

Come here.

- I don't think it's right. - Aw, once those two start fighting...

- Help! - What you shouting for?

That rifle, always that rifle.

You should worry about being cuckolded yourself!

I bring whoever I like to my house!

Hurry up, though,

or else the Missus'll be justified in sayin' I'm a whore...

Or may the Lord inspire you a harmony of voices

Which may instill virtue to suffering

Which may instill...

No! No! Again.

One... two... three... Now.

Fly, thought, on wings of gold

Go settle upon the slopes and the hills

Where, soft and mild, the sweet airs

Of our native land smell fragrant

Rekindle our bosom's memories

And speak to us of times gone by

Which may instill virtue...

A point for us and none for you.

- She's got the gold seven. - Go on, you deal.

Well done. See you tomorrow night.

Easy. Don't drink it all...

Oh, my country...

80 beautiful and lost...

lt's in the refrain... In the refrain.

With the do-sol-mi-re-re. lt's the mi-re-re they all miss.

If it wasn't for me, it would be chaos.

And we're gonna sing at the Roasted Piglet Festival in Ariccia.

Did you ask your father for money for the trip?

Yes, I asked him.

- And what did he say? - Can't you guess?

Adolfo, aren't you coming to bed?

I'm coming. I'm giving Mom a good-night kiss.

Who are you?

Sleep. I live here. Sleep, my beauty, sleep.

Darlin'...

Run, Osvaldo, they're arresting Rosa's son!

Let's go, Giovanni. Walk and don't resist.

It's worse if you resist.

Why do you want to take me to jail? What did I do?

What did I do?

I was home all night last night! I was home!

Out of the way!

He's innocent! He didn't do it!

- Is he innocent? - Innocent, my ass.

I wanna get up early today.

We're gonna do a little shopping.

Me and Miss lside.

Do you want a new dress, baby?

You want shoes too, right?

No, thank you. I don't need anything.

Come on, honey, don't stand on ceremony.

I'll buy you everything. Everything.

I'll buy you everything you want.

Then, when we come home for lunch... l'd like... let's see...

Spaghetti, garlic and oil, huh?

Or do you prefer them with butter and anchovies?

- It's all the same to me... - Today it's offals.

That's for you to eat.

For us, some roasted meat.

Veal... tasty... white.

For dinner, nothing. We'll go to the restaurant.

The two of us.

I could stay to help...

We don't need anything from anybody.

Do you want to play the servant?

That's their role. Look how many they are.

Only a scientist could count them all.

There are more relatives than rats here.

They look like rats. Look at that one, look.

Look at those and tell me if I'm talking bullshit.

They all eat for free. At my expense. Without spending a lira.

Free... More than free.

Matilde, the wine!

Where did she go? Got offended, eh?

Hold this for me?

Yes, yes. Making yourself up, baby?

What shame. What dishonor.

Everybody's talking about us. The whole rat-shit shanty town.

Tell me where you want me to prick him.

I don't know. What do you think?

It's up to you.

If I prick him here, he'll become a cripple.

If I prick him in the balls, he'll have bad luck.

If I prick him in the mouth, his teeth will fall out.

What do I care if his teeth fall out?

And I care even less. You were the one that requested the spell.

If you prick him here, in the heart, what happens?

- Then you want a complete spell? - Yes.

2:00 is time for lunch.

- Romolo, will you give me a lift? - No, the bus is better.

It's late. Come on, let's go.

Where are you going? Go inside.

Nobody leaves the house today.

Maria, round the kids up and take them outside!

Come on, Vittoriano, Pamela, Mirko, Samantha, Gianluca... Let's go.

You, get up, we have to speak!

- I'm not getting out of bed. - Come on! You too!

Where are you going? Don't go! This will come to no good...

We have to decide all together.

- Decide what, Morn? - To get him out of the way.

- That's nice... but how? - We'll report him.

Send him to a nuthouse.

We press charges and take away his parental rights.

We send him to a mental home.

We kill him.

No!

No!

They want to kill my son Giacinto!

My Son!

- When do you want to kill him? - Before that whore leaves him penniless.

Do it now.

He bought her everything, why don't we kill her?

He'll find another one in no time.

I spoke with my director. He said he'd take him in the hospice.

Right, like the last time. Come on.

Last night he didn't offend just me, but all of you.

What kind of men are you?

Mom's right. lt's a question of honor.

Stinkin' rich as he is,

he wouldn't give me 300,000 lire to open up a business for myself.

That scumbag didn't let me start my polyphonic choir.

- And he was disrespectful to me. - Why, what did he do to you?

Well, he swore at me. He's always swearing...

- lt's not that bad. - He never gave me any trouble.

If he had, I'd have slaughtered him.

If the majority wants to kill him, I'm democratic.

The majority is not enough. lt must be unanimous.

- We're risking prison here. - But if we all agree...

I don't give a shit. Do what you want. I gotta go.

No, no! I don't agree!

You're only happy when you can deny your mom a favor.

After all I've done for you.

Ungrateful whore...

You fuck everyone and I have to raise the kids.

Listen to this: from today, you raise them, both of them.

This time I'm getting married. I'm getting married in October.

- I really believe that. - Sure. Just like him...

Got you pregnant and married your sister.

- See? - Enough. Always the same story.

- We couldn't give a shit. - Do we all agree, then?

Yeah, let's get it over and done with, I gotta go to work.

Come over here.

We have to ask Paride's opinion too, he's your son too.

We'll ask him too.

- Okay, fine. I'm off to sleep. - Wait.

We still need to establish how...

and when.

Paride!

Did he fall asleep?

Yeah, but the sun's gonna boil his brains. What's keeping them?

I don't know. They must have gotten lost.

There they are.

Couldn't you find a church closer by?

- This is where I work. - “Work.”

Give us a hand here.

Do you renounce sin to live with the children of God?

- Say, “I renounce it.” - “I renounce it”? I renounce it.

Do you renounce the temptation of evil so as not to let sin dominate you?

- I renounce it. - I renounce it.

Do you renounce Satan, root and cause of all sin?

- I renounce him. - Yes, yes, I renounce him.

Do you believe in God, creator of the heavens and earth?

Do you want to receive baptism under the Church principles...

that we all profess?

- Say, “Yes, I do.” - Say, “Yes, I do.”

- Giacinto. - Yes.

I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Ghost.

- Amen. - Amen.

He treats her like one of the family.

Look what a nice dress he bought that cocksucker.

Must cost over 20,000 lire.

So, Paride, what do you think?

What can I say, Ma... I think she's a lot tastier than you are.

That's 'cause you're a worse whoremonger than your old man!

Do you agree?

I'm warning you: lt's already decided.

We're killing him at the baptism lunch at your place.

Just like London, huh?

Shit, this is better than London!

Hey, don't rock the boat!

Everybody out.

Hey, here we come! Hurry, guys!

We're real hungry.

Here, polish off this bowl of pasta and you'll start to live again.

Pass the water.

You can guess the cook by the scent.

Well done! Good and tasty girl!

Come over here.

Come on, kiss each other. A kiss.

A peace kiss. Come on!

- Eat, it'll get cold. - Ah, yes. Let's eat.

Vittoriano, come up here.

Remember, “al dente” for Granny!

This is for Camillo, and this is for you,

and this here's for Cesaretto.

Oh, yeah, pecorino cheese, it's spicier.

Here it comes. This is for me.

- Enjoy it. - Enjoy.

Wait for Massimiliano to recite his poem.

A new grandchild

Bright as a penny

Whatever he grows up into

- He 'll carry your name, Giacinto - Giacinto?

So, Grandpa, be happy and hold your tongue

Here, we love you, every one

As sure as there are floors and ceilings

There's no hard feelings

lt's finished.

Let's eat before the food gets cold.

Let's eat...

See?

See how nice it is to all get along together?

Damn.

Cesaretto. Cesaretto. For you too.

- Let's shake hands, without bitterness. - Giacinto, you are always a gentleman.

My plate! Be careful.

Excuse me. He's the one who pulled me.

- Wanna eat with Granddad? Here. - No!

His stomach's giving him trouble. He's got stomach problems.

Stomach troubles and you give him semolina? Cure him with macaroni.

- Things better with the rats, Matilde? - Just eat, will ya?

- Did the poison I gave you work? - Sure, but eat and keep quiet!

Cesaretto, don't you ever mind your fucking business?

What's wrong? Full up already?

- No, it's not that... - So?

They taste kind of weird...

- They taste good. - Of course they taste good.

Well made, delicate... but...

What did you put in them?

You know what I put in.

Pasta, fried eggplant, tomatoes, grated bread, nuts, pecorino cheese...

And rat poison. Four bags.

But only in your portion.

Rat poison?

Aren't you cold?

It's like a gust of wind.

Like a wet blanket...

that brushes your back.

It's death.

Murderers...

Stop him. He'll turn us in.

And who cares?

He'll never make it, I put half a kilo in.

- What did you do to him? - Who?

- You! - Us?

- What are you talkin' about? - Hey, Ma, don't say nothin'!

Wanna go in?

Go in, but I don't know if it's the right decision.

Welcome inside.

Death to the traitors!

You die like rats now. This is worse than poison.

You wanted my house?

It's all yours! With central heating.

Fire, fire!

Help! Fire! Help!

Get out of there! Come on!

Going on holiday? Did you book?

Oh, my God!

Run!

- Fuck, shit, all my stuff! - I don't need water.

I want the destructive fire!

The strength of this heart...

That's Dad!

He's not dead then.

Can't be dead if he's singing.

- It was him who set us on fire! - You won't get me!

Throw whatever you want at me...

Got him!

- Let's put the fire out. - Let's get some water.

You didn't hurt me, you know?

You didn't hurt me!

And if someone calls the fire brigade, they're a son of a bitch!

And this is not over!

- Help! Grandmother! - Nando, Grandmother!

- Here comes Nando! - ls that Grandma?

“Is that Grandma?” Please!

- I'll save Grandma. - Come on, Camillo!

- Go, else we'll lose her pension! - Hold on, Grandma!

- There she is! - She's burnt her hair.

- Grandma, you're always last! - Damn, you're red hot!

Did you shit yourself?

There they are.

They all survived. Mennea, the hag...

The harlot... Let them all die.

Can't see my wife. Maybe Our Lady gave me a blessing.

Who's there?

The cuckold and the fag, always in position.

They're all still in my house.

And there's my wife. She's a tough one to kill.

Yeah, come on, put it out.

There's another fuse under your asses anyway.

The bull's there too. They all survived.

They want my house.

Filthy criminals. To kill a father...

After all the sacrifices I made for them.

And they can see the kind of monster I had to fuck

to bring them into the world.

She's better-looking now. She's lost some of her beard.

They're not evil. Just crazy.

Giacinto, what are you doing?

Darling...

- For your own good. - Darling, darling.

Don't do complicated things, it's dangerous at your age.

It's better to die with you than with rat poison. Here I come.

The spaghetti without poison was delicious. “Al dente”.

Too bad you couldn't enjoy them.

Oh, well... They ruined everything.

But now I'll slaughter them.

Today.

And we'll have “la dolce vita!”

I'll cater to all your whims.

I will take you to Trastevere to eat watermelon.

To Via Veneto, by night, to have some flavored ice.

- And if you want, we'll go by car. - What car?

Come down, Giacinto, three men are waiting for you!

Coming!

What do they want?

It's an important business. I'll explain later.

Watch the binoculars.

If you break them, you're paying for them.

Marcella, a liter and four glasses!

The cash.

- Isn't my word enough? - No.

No.

Here.

- Here. - Ah, here?

Name and last name. Where's the money?

Ten... 20... 30...

Well... Who are you? What do you want?

Are you still here? You have to leave.

The house is ours.

Really? Since when?

- Who are they? - Dunno.

- What do they want? - Since when?

Since we bought it. Here's the document.

What document?

The sale of the house and land, in cash...

- Let me see it. - ...to the undersigned.

Who signed this document?

The legitimate owner of the house,

who sold it to me, so from now on I'm the owner.

- Can't you read? - Where's it written?

In that paper...

- And where's the paper? - I just gave it to you.

To me?

- Did you see a paper? - What paper? What you talking about?

Don't bother us!

Get out of here, we're sick of you already!

- Get out of here! - The “paper!”

I gave it to you just now.

If you prefer the legal path, give me back the paper,

if you want...

- Get out of here. - “Legal path!”

No one makes fun of me, even for free...

imagine if I've paid 800,000 lire.

You're crazy! 800,000 lire?

Nando, they want to take over the house!

Why's it going backwards?

Can you drive or what?

I drove a horse carriage for 30 years. lt's the same thing.

It's going. No, backwards again.

Not the women!

- I don't touch women! - Fuck you!

Hit him! Hit him!

Hit him hard!

- Are you foreign? - No, no, I'm a Roman.

Kill those yokels!

- Watch how royalty travels! - Where you going?

It won't stop!

My house!

Ouch!

My house!

No point holding it! It's falling!

It's no one's house now!

Everyone on the streets! Everyone in the fresh air!

I got hurt but I'm happy.

Yeah, push it, so it'll fall on the other side!

Giacinto, it's been six months already.

When are they going to remove the plaster?

Never. The money's stashed inside it.

They'll never find it.

One day I'll throw them all out. All of them.

Children, grandchildren, relatives and gross guests.

If not today, then tomorrow.