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1
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- I'm Bel, and I'm...
- Back and kicking ass.
2
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Back and answerable to me.
3
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:10,845
"Fancy helping out in the salon?"
For no money and zero thanks.
4
00:00:10,880 --> 00:00:13,165
Bel's going to helping
us out from now on.
5
00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:16,344
Dogsbody work. It's a
personal affront to me.
6
00:00:16,800 --> 00:00:20,034
It suggests that I was
useless and she's better.
7
00:00:20,070 --> 00:00:21,021
Loser.
8
00:00:21,057 --> 00:00:22,431
Lorelei.
9
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,885
Wesley. Client in town,
we're doing a deal.
10
00:00:24,920 --> 00:00:26,848
But you don't get enough exercise.
11
00:00:27,282 --> 00:00:28,767
Dante, it's over.
12
00:00:29,123 --> 00:00:31,304
- She don't do married men.
- Sort it.
13
00:00:31,760 --> 00:00:34,729
Why would you want your best mate
to cheat on your other best mate?
14
00:00:35,080 --> 00:00:37,765
She's the woman I would have married
if he hadn't got there first.
15
00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:40,040
Hi, I'd like to book a taster session.
16
00:00:44,080 --> 00:00:45,600
Mirror, mirror on the wall...
17
00:00:46,840 --> 00:00:48,840
Who's the fairest of them all?
18
00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,040
Age before beauty.
19
00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,656
Pearls before swine.
20
00:00:55,680 --> 00:00:57,398
Handsome Prince Charming.
21
00:00:58,120 --> 00:00:59,326
Will you be mine?
22
00:01:06,289 --> 00:01:09,076
Sync & corrections by emeline-whovian
www.addic7ed.com
23
00:01:21,404 --> 00:01:24,649
MUSIC: Needle in a Haystack
by Dusty Springfield
24
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:27,965
? Well, well, I once believed ?
25
00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,160
? All fellas were nice ?
26
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:32,680
? But, girls, listen to me ?
27
00:01:34,640 --> 00:01:36,040
? Take my advice ?
28
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,165
? Girls, you better get yourselves ?
29
00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:41,823
? On the right track ?
30
00:01:41,859 --> 00:01:43,824
? Cos finding a good man, girls ?
31
00:01:43,878 --> 00:01:46,533
? Is like finding a
needle in a haystack ?
32
00:01:46,569 --> 00:01:50,084
- ? What did I say, girls? ?
- ? Needle in a haystack ?
33
00:01:50,120 --> 00:01:51,805
? Shoo doo ?
34
00:01:51,840 --> 00:01:53,365
? Shoo doo wa dah ?
35
00:01:53,400 --> 00:01:55,125
? Shoo doo ?
36
00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:56,600
? Shoo doo wa dah ?
37
00:01:58,182 --> 00:02:02,044
? Girls, those fellas are sly,
slick and shy, yeah ?
38
00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:05,565
? So don't you ever let them catch
you looking starry-eyed ?
39
00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:08,122
? They'll tell you that
their love is true ?
40
00:02:08,158 --> 00:02:10,245
? And they'll walk right over you ?
41
00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:12,845
? Now, girls, you'd better
know these things ?
42
00:02:12,880 --> 00:02:14,925
? Right off the bat ?
43
00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:17,405
? Cos finding a good man, girls ?
44
00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,885
? Is like finding a
needle in a haystack ?
45
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:21,445
? What did I say, girls? ?
46
00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,840
? Needle in a haystack... ?
47
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:28,520
MUSIC CONTINUES IN BACKGROUND
48
00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,725
You couldn't, like, use a nose or a wig?
49
00:02:36,760 --> 00:02:38,605
I could probably use me 'ead tested,
50
00:02:38,640 --> 00:02:44,005
but what I've got is a
pay-as-you-go phone, fake ID,
51
00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:46,845
so say hello to...
52
00:02:46,880 --> 00:02:48,205
Sheila Gruff?
53
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:49,193
Goff!
54
00:02:49,579 --> 00:02:52,184
- She's new, and she's sounds...
- Petrified?
55
00:02:52,236 --> 00:02:54,121
Should be, you're scary!
56
00:02:54,560 --> 00:02:58,200
Only to you. Real clients
think I'm a pussycat.
57
00:03:00,740 --> 00:03:02,780
Stay. Tonight.
58
00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:07,005
It's tricky. If Bel comes home
and I'm not there...
59
00:03:07,040 --> 00:03:08,760
You said she's at her dad's.
60
00:03:09,740 --> 00:03:11,860
- Can't we chance it?
- Soon.
61
00:03:12,580 --> 00:03:13,620
Promise.
62
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,640
Go work your magic on Sheila Gruff.
63
00:03:19,992 --> 00:03:22,960
You can do this, Bel. You can do it.
64
00:03:23,989 --> 00:03:25,114
Hi.
65
00:03:25,908 --> 00:03:27,248
I'm Sheila.
66
00:03:27,424 --> 00:03:29,224
Great to meet you.
67
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:44,480
Leanne and I don't have kids.
68
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:45,965
_
69
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,045
One of the benefits of that is not
having to deal with shit like this.
70
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:51,289
Sorry. Didn't know where else to go.
71
00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:54,096
- These will look good for work.
- What, three grand a month good?
72
00:03:54,132 --> 00:03:56,738
- What does your mother say?
- She won't help me.
73
00:03:57,723 --> 00:03:59,408
She's into that tough love shit.
74
00:03:59,444 --> 00:04:02,049
So you came to me for bailout.
75
00:04:02,117 --> 00:04:03,357
It's not my first game.
76
00:04:04,805 --> 00:04:05,845
Look.
77
00:04:09,520 --> 00:04:11,325
I'll do whatever you want,
even though...
78
00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:12,353
What?
79
00:04:12,389 --> 00:04:15,445
- Lorelei's a mate.
- I feel like I've stitched her up.
80
00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:16,965
For the guy of her dreams.
81
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:19,640
If I'd not come looking for you,
would any of this have happened?
82
00:04:20,853 --> 00:04:21,853
All of it.
83
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:24,610
Always the plan.
84
00:04:24,763 --> 00:04:27,277
You just came along at the right time.
85
00:04:30,480 --> 00:04:32,478
Just keep doing what you're doing.
86
00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:34,560
Then we can all get a result.
87
00:04:42,959 --> 00:04:44,524
Is it Sheila?
88
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,725
Hi! Great to meet you.
89
00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:47,800
You're so...
90
00:04:49,491 --> 00:04:50,496
Fit.
91
00:04:50,710 --> 00:04:51,750
Oh!
92
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,285
- That's my job.
- No, I mean you're
93
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,965
so, erm, how could I even begin to...?
94
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,294
- What?
- Compare.
95
00:04:59,330 --> 00:05:01,413
It's not a competition.
96
00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:04,640
I'm here to help you be
the best version of you.
97
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:07,720
What if there is no best version?
98
00:05:09,040 --> 00:05:12,080
There will be. And I promise you
we'll find her.
99
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:15,565
Sorry, I don't think I can do this.
100
00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:16,879
Sheila?
101
00:05:17,666 --> 00:05:20,364
Would it surprise you to hear I know
exactly how you're feeling?
102
00:05:21,034 --> 00:05:23,626
Yeah, it would surprise me.
103
00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,800
Give me a chance.
104
00:05:27,880 --> 00:05:28,920
Please.
105
00:05:40,560 --> 00:05:45,445
Hey! Ha-ha, great.
106
00:05:45,480 --> 00:05:47,685
All my life I wait for a woman like you.
107
00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:51,365
You are my soulmate,
my little northern soulmate.
108
00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:52,720
So you keep saying.
109
00:05:53,880 --> 00:05:55,245
Just keep practising.
110
00:05:55,280 --> 00:05:57,000
I want to win this competition.
111
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:01,365
SHE HUMS
112
00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,360
If Mum had a soulmate, would I still
have to be a pageant queen?
113
00:06:05,960 --> 00:06:07,205
Hello-o!
114
00:06:07,240 --> 00:06:08,485
Talk to me.
115
00:06:08,520 --> 00:06:09,579
Snore!
116
00:06:09,759 --> 00:06:11,924
- When can you?
- When you're 30.
117
00:06:12,303 --> 00:06:13,948
When can you be a proper nan?
118
00:06:14,280 --> 00:06:15,845
When you stop confusing me.
119
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,045
- With what?
- Someone who gives a shit.
120
00:06:18,080 --> 00:06:21,920
UPBEAT GUITAR MUSIC
121
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,965
Be proactive and take
ownership of our roles.
122
00:06:43,200 --> 00:06:45,165
In other words, take turns opening
123
00:06:45,200 --> 00:06:47,285
up while she gets to loz about in bed.
124
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:48,365
Which, by the way,
125
00:06:48,400 --> 00:06:51,200
she has plenty of time for
now the brats have left home.
126
00:06:52,200 --> 00:06:53,720
Which, by the way, is good riddance.
127
00:06:56,140 --> 00:06:57,480
Thank you, teddy bear.
128
00:06:59,620 --> 00:07:02,945
- For what, baby bear?
- Respecting my choice not to breed.
129
00:07:03,080 --> 00:07:05,760
It takes guts to make a stand
against overpopulation.
130
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:11,125
Plus, who needs stretch marks and
tits down to the floor when you can
131
00:07:11,160 --> 00:07:13,840
have toned abs and a tight Virginia?
132
00:07:16,320 --> 00:07:17,360
You said it!
133
00:07:19,160 --> 00:07:21,165
So, you said on the phone you're
134
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,725
a teacher, married, three grown-up kids.
135
00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,445
Your husband's a chef, you
have a fat cat called Tinker
136
00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:30,325
and it's been 20 years since
you did any exercise.
137
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:31,400
Anything else?
138
00:07:31,971 --> 00:07:34,136
Sorry, what?
139
00:07:34,172 --> 00:07:35,212
To add.
140
00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:38,725
I just can't think straight.
141
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:41,365
Don't worry. Getting fit
after a long lay-off,
142
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:43,304
everyone finds it daunting.
143
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:46,290
But you're here. You did the hard bit.
144
00:07:46,940 --> 00:07:48,800
What finally pushed you over the edge?
145
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,725
Suppose I just had enough.
146
00:07:59,960 --> 00:08:02,920
Feeling under par. Not in control.
147
00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:09,445
Sheila, what if I told you the
person who was 100% on it 100% of
148
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:12,200
- the time doesn't exist?
- You exist.
149
00:08:14,600 --> 00:08:17,160
Tell you what, let's
take this really slowly.
150
00:08:18,309 --> 00:08:19,749
Shall we try a little warm-up?
151
00:08:21,760 --> 00:08:23,405
Far be it from me to be negative,
152
00:08:23,440 --> 00:08:27,405
but this place is on a one-way
ticket to Doomsville.
153
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,245
That Bel says bookings are up.
154
00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:30,925
Hello? Yes, because she's done
155
00:08:30,960 --> 00:08:33,045
a shedload of deals to
bribe new clients in.
156
00:08:33,080 --> 00:08:34,205
AKA promotions.
157
00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:36,365
AKA idle curiosity.
158
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,405
Which won't last, once people get
159
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:40,728
wind of the fact that nothing's changed.
160
00:08:40,764 --> 00:08:42,649
Except for a total refurb.
161
00:08:42,685 --> 00:08:45,005
Except, where's the new technology?
162
00:08:45,040 --> 00:08:46,851
- Why have we not invested?
- With what?
163
00:08:46,887 --> 00:08:49,517
Well, if madam can afford
to offer staff bonuses...
164
00:08:49,553 --> 00:08:51,765
Well, maybe if you'd have offered
some we wouldn't be up Dog Doo Alley
165
00:08:51,800 --> 00:08:53,062
without a scoop!
166
00:08:53,489 --> 00:08:54,489
No, trust me.
167
00:08:54,525 --> 00:08:56,444
Before the end of the month we
will be haemorrhaging clients.
168
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:58,885
- How?
- Just a feeling I have.
169
00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:01,085
Oh, lovely, that.
170
00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:02,160
Yeah.
171
00:09:03,636 --> 00:09:05,961
Ooh, snow alert.
172
00:09:06,168 --> 00:09:07,768
Dreary Dayna! Hiya!
173
00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:10,680
Dayna, how are we?!
174
00:09:12,240 --> 00:09:13,520
Oh, dear, don't we look tired?
175
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:21,365
Three, two, one, yes!
176
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:23,360
We're done. You survived.
177
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,285
- Now we know what we're up against.
- Do we?
178
00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,245
Oh, yeah. That's the point of this
session, see if we can work together.
179
00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:31,757
Hopefully you can see I'm not a monster.
180
00:09:33,045 --> 00:09:34,650
How much do I owe you?
181
00:09:34,686 --> 00:09:36,451
It's a taster session.
182
00:09:36,487 --> 00:09:39,056
No charge. Sheila, honestly,
183
00:09:39,092 --> 00:09:40,729
I think we can get you
to where you want to be.
184
00:09:40,765 --> 00:09:43,805
So I hope you'll come back for more.
185
00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,205
I know what you're thinking.
186
00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:09,169
- What?
- You hate the refurb.
187
00:10:09,419 --> 00:10:11,372
Gaudy, tacky.
188
00:10:11,740 --> 00:10:14,465
- Dodgy colours.
- Oh, no, it's...
189
00:10:14,501 --> 00:10:15,826
It's the special offers.
190
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:20,005
Mm. Yeah, they lower the tone, make
you feel ever so slightly cheap.
191
00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:22,098
Oh, no, I think they're a great idea.
192
00:10:22,879 --> 00:10:23,919
Mm.
193
00:10:26,035 --> 00:10:28,080
It's the treatments, right?
194
00:10:28,160 --> 00:10:29,685
They're dated. There's no variety.
195
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,845
You're probably thinking
of going elsewhere.
196
00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,000
Oh, well...
197
00:10:34,152 --> 00:10:35,558
Hello!
198
00:10:36,274 --> 00:10:37,759
Rock alert!
199
00:10:37,795 --> 00:10:39,160
Who's the mug?
200
00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,445
- Oh, he's, erm...
- Mr Shrinking Violet!
201
00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:44,165
Why have we never met him?
Has he got three heads?
202
00:10:44,200 --> 00:10:45,485
No, he's just...
203
00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:49,040
Well, bring him in. We'll vet him,
make sure he's up to scratch.
204
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:52,205
Right, then, Dana, shall
we say a little prayer?
205
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:55,120
- Sorry?
- Your face is now in our hands.
206
00:10:58,560 --> 00:11:01,005
Time, time, time.
207
00:11:01,705 --> 00:11:03,885
What the hell are you doing, lad?
208
00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,803
Guard down, head down.
209
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:09,445
Back foot dragging
like a rat-arsed slug.
210
00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:12,445
Come on, you're wasting your time,
you're wasting my time.
211
00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:14,365
Don't come back till
you're ready to work.
212
00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,040
Alfie, you get in, lad, have a go.
213
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,960
- How was it?
- I'm never going back there again.
214
00:11:25,880 --> 00:11:29,405
So, Prince Charming's got a big
works do next week.
215
00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:31,565
- Lovely, that.
- And there will be photographs,
216
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:33,485
so I just want to make
sure that I don't...
217
00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:35,045
You don't let him down.
218
00:11:35,080 --> 00:11:36,120
It's easily done.
219
00:11:37,800 --> 00:11:39,685
So, what would you recommend?
220
00:11:39,720 --> 00:11:41,155
- Botox.
- Renuvaline.
221
00:11:41,191 --> 00:11:42,585
- GlycoPeel.
- High-Def brows.
222
00:11:42,621 --> 00:11:43,396
LVL lashes.
223
00:11:43,432 --> 00:11:45,757
- Spray tan.
- Full body wax.
224
00:11:45,793 --> 00:11:48,876
- PDO thread lift.
- Collagen stimulation.
225
00:11:50,120 --> 00:11:52,240
So, basically, everything?
226
00:11:57,556 --> 00:12:00,548
Oh, erm, that pep talk you gave us.
227
00:12:00,955 --> 00:12:04,080
- Which?
- Be proactive, take ownership.
228
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:06,485
The cunning plan to make
Leanne feel more involved,
229
00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:07,725
to stop her wreaking havoc.
230
00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:09,040
- Yeah.
- Didn't work.
231
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:19,826
Goodness. What's happened here?
232
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:21,525
Well, she signed a disclaimer.
233
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,040
It does say there might be
bruising and puncture wounds.
234
00:12:25,285 --> 00:12:26,628
Er, yeah.
235
00:12:26,933 --> 00:12:29,018
Would you excuse us?
236
00:12:29,054 --> 00:12:30,094
Why?
237
00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,085
I'll book you in for a Renuvaline.
238
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,160
Brows, lashes and laser lipo.
239
00:12:46,146 --> 00:12:47,671
These...
240
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,480
These treatments, they're
not for the faint-hearted.
241
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,365
Perhaps you should wait before
you get anything else done.
242
00:12:54,401 --> 00:12:55,881
No, I can't, it's urgent.
243
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,365
It's my fiance, it's his job, you see.
244
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,205
He gets a lot of attention.
245
00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,725
And like your sister said,
he could have his pick.
246
00:13:03,760 --> 00:13:04,962
And he picked you.
247
00:13:04,998 --> 00:13:06,565
Yeah, but now I really
need to up my game,
248
00:13:06,600 --> 00:13:07,805
because otherwise...
249
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:09,320
He'll find a better model.
250
00:13:10,880 --> 00:13:13,125
- Wow.
- Are guys seriously that shallow?
251
00:13:15,700 --> 00:13:16,740
Yeah.
252
00:13:25,260 --> 00:13:27,744
Do I need a makeover?
253
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:31,845
- Well, obvi.
- Can't hurt.
254
00:13:31,880 --> 00:13:33,205
- Why?
- It's just a thought.
255
00:13:33,240 --> 00:13:35,685
I mean, the salon's had one, and
in the spirit of talk the talk,
256
00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:36,760
walk the walk...
257
00:13:41,240 --> 00:13:42,280
Go for it, boss.
258
00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:48,600
MUSIC: Passing Through by Leonard Cohen
259
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:01,320
No!
260
00:14:11,957 --> 00:14:13,237
Ow!
261
00:14:39,640 --> 00:14:41,005
Tell her she looks gorgeous.
262
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,445
Least I still recognise her.
263
00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,005
Every time you have work I think
264
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:46,120
the clinic's sent back the wrong person.
265
00:14:52,520 --> 00:14:53,560
Go on!
266
00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,485
Right. Pageant practice.
267
00:14:58,520 --> 00:14:59,760
- Oh, Mum!
- Now!
268
00:15:02,125 --> 00:15:05,530
She'll thank me when she's crowned
Miss Junior Rosebud UK.
269
00:15:05,566 --> 00:15:06,873
Bel?
270
00:15:07,294 --> 00:15:08,818
You look gorgeous.
271
00:15:17,400 --> 00:15:18,885
Anyone at home?
272
00:15:18,920 --> 00:15:20,880
I've just come to grab some clothes.
273
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,405
Hey, sweetheart!
274
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,200
I didn't know you'd be back.
275
00:15:27,431 --> 00:15:29,111
Why have you left Dad?
276
00:15:30,756 --> 00:15:32,067
What?
277
00:15:32,103 --> 00:15:36,001
Why have you moved in with Chizz
and left Dad to fend for himself?
278
00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:39,725
I think you'll find that your dad's
quite capable of looking after...
279
00:15:39,760 --> 00:15:41,556
Mum... What the F?
280
00:15:42,240 --> 00:15:46,485
Caterpillars, Fake Bake, a skirt!
281
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,000
What's going on?!
282
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,400
- Fancied a change.
- But you never change.
283
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:00,085
Oh, my God. Don't tell me.
284
00:16:00,121 --> 00:16:02,086
Oh, shit the bed, Mum,
I know what this is!
285
00:16:02,122 --> 00:16:03,607
What?
286
00:16:03,643 --> 00:16:05,848
- You're having an affair!
- What?!
287
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:07,285
Why would you think that?
288
00:16:07,320 --> 00:16:08,725
Oh, my God, you SO are!
289
00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:10,405
How could you do this?
290
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,245
Dad... trusts you.
291
00:16:12,280 --> 00:16:13,765
WE trust you!
292
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,840
It's just...
293
00:16:15,506 --> 00:16:18,951
How old are you? Look
in the mirror - cringe!
294
00:16:18,987 --> 00:16:20,512
Mum, I...
295
00:16:20,702 --> 00:16:21,982
I can't even look at you.
296
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,120
Bel, what is it?
297
00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:44,440
You've not heard?
298
00:16:45,205 --> 00:16:47,153
Someone's having an affair.
299
00:16:51,676 --> 00:16:52,716
Who told you...?
300
00:16:53,195 --> 00:16:54,235
See?
301
00:16:56,400 --> 00:16:58,755
- How does she know?
- No idea, but according to her,
302
00:16:58,791 --> 00:17:00,840
I'm cheating on you.
303
00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,186
YOU'RE...?
304
00:17:04,920 --> 00:17:07,405
Jesus Christ.
305
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,245
That's crazy. Why would she even...?
306
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:13,508
Because of this. The brows, the
skirt and, yeah, I look like shit.
307
00:17:13,760 --> 00:17:15,405
I'm mutton, lamb, pathetic.
308
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:17,605
- It's not pathetic.
- It is, actually.
309
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:21,125
I wanted to do something different.
310
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,956
And it didn't work.
311
00:17:23,320 --> 00:17:24,605
She had every right.
312
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:26,205
No, she didn't. She's well offside.
313
00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:30,085
She's 19, it's her first term at uni,
she's trying to find her feet.
314
00:17:30,260 --> 00:17:33,340
She comes home and her
mum's like a tangerine.
315
00:17:35,576 --> 00:17:36,827
It'll fade.
316
00:17:38,904 --> 00:17:40,464
Glass of vino?
317
00:17:41,920 --> 00:17:43,400
Come on. I think you've earned it.
318
00:17:58,400 --> 00:17:59,987
I look ridiculous!
319
00:18:02,174 --> 00:18:04,174
We all need a little citrus in our life.
320
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,520
SINGING
321
00:18:15,800 --> 00:18:19,885
So, no-one's arsed, then,
that Mum's having an affair.
322
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:22,245
- Excuse me?
- She'd never do that.
323
00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:24,485
Wouldn't she? Ask her. I asked her.
324
00:18:24,520 --> 00:18:26,045
Deny it? Did she hell.
325
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:27,845
I think before you
jump to conclusions...
326
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:29,525
How can you not see the signs?
327
00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:32,325
Make-up, tan, ludicrous outfit.
328
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:36,005
It's classic. Moves out, gets a
makeover, starts dressing like a ho...
329
00:18:36,040 --> 00:18:37,965
Do you mind? That's my skirt!
330
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:40,799
- Lex, I seriously doubt...
- Guys! What's wrong with you?
331
00:18:40,835 --> 00:18:43,355
Are you really that senile you
can't see what's going on?
332
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:51,205
OK. Guys, this stops right here.
333
00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:54,405
We are not going to dignify this
piffle by taking it seriously.
334
00:18:54,440 --> 00:18:56,205
Yeah, agreed.
335
00:18:56,240 --> 00:18:57,280
So, done.
336
00:18:59,130 --> 00:19:01,415
So you don't think there's
the least chance Bel...?
337
00:19:01,451 --> 00:19:03,736
Teddy Bear.
An affair requires two people.
338
00:19:03,772 --> 00:19:06,932
Mm? Like anyone without a
guide dog would fancy Bel.
339
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:18,362
? Better get yourself
on the right track ?
340
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,045
? Because finding a good man ?
341
00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:24,640
? Is like finding a
needle in a haystack. ?
342
00:19:44,840 --> 00:19:46,525
Where did that go?
343
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,205
Hey, where does any of it go?
344
00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:51,245
Turn around, blink, you miss it,
kids grow up, life moves on,
345
00:19:51,280 --> 00:19:53,085
what happened? Where are you?
346
00:19:53,120 --> 00:19:53,991
What are you?
347
00:19:54,027 --> 00:19:56,605
And welcome to the magical
world of Wesley Finch talks
348
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:57,725
broken biscuits.
349
00:19:57,760 --> 00:19:59,365
- He does.
- So, Wesley,
350
00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:02,365
when did you first fall for
the beautiful and talented
351
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,525
Isabel Reagan?
352
00:20:03,560 --> 00:20:06,325
Was it when she put me in
a liplock on Swinton Fields?
353
00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:11,405
Or was it when your best mate Ted
gave her a Christmas kiss?
354
00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:12,805
Not that I'm competitive.
355
00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,568
- Who was best?
- The kisser?
356
00:20:15,604 --> 00:20:17,889
Hmmm, that is tricky.
357
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:20,365
Oh, come on, no contest!
358
00:20:23,940 --> 00:20:26,100
- Prove it.
- Peasy.
359
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:35,840
Hmm.
360
00:20:41,310 --> 00:20:42,350
Mm!
361
00:20:45,360 --> 00:20:47,800
Oh, yeah. It's getting there.
362
00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,725
? At last my dream's come true ?
363
00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:47,565
? Today he said I do ?
364
00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:51,365
? Friends said it couldn't be done ?
365
00:21:51,400 --> 00:21:55,045
? But all his love, I know I've won ?
366
00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:59,205
? Cos third finger, left hand ?
367
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:03,040
? That's where he placed
the wedding band. ?
368
00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:14,525
Six years you've been together?
369
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:16,165
How did we not know this?
370
00:22:16,200 --> 00:22:18,205
Oh, he's a very private person.
371
00:22:18,240 --> 00:22:20,525
- Thank you.
- What does he do?
372
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:22,080
Just... something in sport.
373
00:22:22,593 --> 00:22:23,958
Lovely, that.
374
00:22:24,048 --> 00:22:25,093
And he likes it?
375
00:22:25,298 --> 00:22:29,045
He used to, but now there's
just so much pressure.
376
00:22:29,080 --> 00:22:30,485
And you don't want to add to it.
377
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,419
No, that's it, I really don't.
378
00:22:42,272 --> 00:22:44,548
Any thoughts about different salons?
379
00:22:45,628 --> 00:22:46,948
Not really.
380
00:22:48,990 --> 00:22:50,715
I recommend Shameem's.
381
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:54,845
It's in Alderley Edge. State of the
art, all the latest techniques.
382
00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:56,845
The thing is, I really like it here.
383
00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:59,280
But we only do a fraction
of what they offer.
384
00:23:00,116 --> 00:23:04,156
Plus, what if I told you we
might soon have to close?
385
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:09,438
What can I say? Bel Finch kicks ass!
386
00:23:09,707 --> 00:23:12,763
I knew if I let it play out
he'd come to his senses.
387
00:23:12,799 --> 00:23:13,745
Uh-huh?
388
00:23:14,625 --> 00:23:17,230
So, I take it you'll
be moving back home?
389
00:23:17,266 --> 00:23:18,718
Do you mind?
390
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:22,085
I'll survive. Besides, it's
the dance-off tomorrow.
391
00:23:22,120 --> 00:23:24,605
- Once that's over...
- Curtains for Hector.
392
00:23:24,640 --> 00:23:25,902
Yeah.
393
00:23:26,996 --> 00:23:28,761
You know the routine.
394
00:23:28,797 --> 00:23:30,637
Right, lads, you fit?
395
00:23:32,056 --> 00:23:33,941
I know she's my sister.
396
00:23:34,054 --> 00:23:35,539
And I love her to bits
397
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:39,445
but, between you and me,
she's a bit behind the times.
398
00:23:39,480 --> 00:23:43,005
And if we can't provide what you need,
399
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:46,160
I think for your sake
and your fiance's...
400
00:23:48,882 --> 00:23:50,609
..you should go elsewhere.
401
00:24:03,760 --> 00:24:06,205
- Hi!
- Whoa!
402
00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:07,725
So the rumours are true.
403
00:24:07,760 --> 00:24:08,965
There's a new girl in town.
404
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,160
- Do you like her?
- I quite liked the old one.
405
00:24:12,760 --> 00:24:14,960
- What's it all about?
- Wouldn't you like to know?
406
00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,800
Guess who just lost us a client?
407
00:24:33,410 --> 00:24:36,083
- Why would you do that?
- Hello?
408
00:24:36,520 --> 00:24:37,765
Customer service.
409
00:24:37,800 --> 00:24:39,005
Put the client first.
410
00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:40,325
By sending them elsewhere?
411
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:43,685
I know this might be hard to hear,
but since you took over,
412
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:45,925
she really thinks things
have gone downhill.
413
00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,205
- And what do you think?
- Is it my job to think?
414
00:24:48,240 --> 00:24:50,165
It's your job to support
the family business.
415
00:24:50,200 --> 00:24:53,240
- Says who?
- Do you actually want us to succeed?
416
00:24:55,240 --> 00:24:56,640
Since when was it "us"?
417
00:24:57,680 --> 00:25:02,205
Since when was it anything except
the Bel Finch Me-Me-Me Show?
418
00:25:02,240 --> 00:25:03,685
Know it all, have it all...
419
00:25:03,720 --> 00:25:05,400
What the hell are you on about?
420
00:25:06,179 --> 00:25:07,780
You really don't have a clue.
421
00:25:07,816 --> 00:25:09,304
Honestly?
422
00:25:09,703 --> 00:25:13,244
- I really don't.
- Don't you turn your back on me!
423
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:14,520
Don't you even dare!
424
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:18,680
I will not be ignored.
425
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:21,485
And it's Lingard to Mata.
426
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:24,600
Mata to Rashford.
Rashford beats one, and...
427
00:25:28,114 --> 00:25:33,163
? Some day my prince will come ?
428
00:25:36,036 --> 00:25:39,245
? Some day I'll find my love ?
429
00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:45,250
? And how thrilling
that moment will be ?
430
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:50,957
? When the Prince of my dreams
comes to me ?
431
00:25:52,286 --> 00:25:56,125
? He'll whisper "I love you" ?
432
00:25:56,890 --> 00:25:59,845
? And steal a kiss or two ?
433
00:25:59,880 --> 00:26:03,765
? Though he's far away ?
434
00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,965
? I'll find my love some day ?
435
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:11,205
? Some day when my dreams come true. ?
436
00:26:11,240 --> 00:26:14,885
APPLAUSE
437
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,912
Well done!
438
00:26:59,025 --> 00:27:00,307
What is it?
439
00:27:02,151 --> 00:27:03,551
Last night...
440
00:27:05,392 --> 00:27:07,219
..I slept with my wife.
441
00:27:13,125 --> 00:27:14,730
It was only the once.
442
00:27:14,805 --> 00:27:16,970
I don't really know how it happened.
443
00:27:17,006 --> 00:27:18,806
How did it happen?
444
00:27:22,552 --> 00:27:25,405
So, I just felt, after she'd
gone to all that effort...
445
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:26,525
It would be rude not to.
446
00:27:26,560 --> 00:27:27,600
Kind of.
447
00:27:29,085 --> 00:27:32,010
Look, I feel bad for her.
448
00:27:32,077 --> 00:27:33,117
And guilty?
449
00:27:34,500 --> 00:27:36,105
Cheating on her with me.
450
00:27:36,141 --> 00:27:39,061
- Of course.
- Then you still love her.
451
00:27:43,440 --> 00:27:45,205
I just... I don't want to rock the boat.
452
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:46,685
She's got masses on her plate.
453
00:27:46,720 --> 00:27:50,591
And you and I, we're not totally
sure where this is going.
454
00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:52,920
It's already gone where
I never wanted it to go.
455
00:27:57,000 --> 00:27:58,325
I'm a nice person.
456
00:27:58,360 --> 00:28:00,605
I don't know how I've ended up
as the bit on the side.
457
00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:02,506
That's not what you are to me.
458
00:28:02,542 --> 00:28:03,742
Isn't it?
459
00:28:06,480 --> 00:28:10,166
You pick me up, drop me, bang me
and then leg it back to your wife.
460
00:28:10,202 --> 00:28:11,687
Is this cos I won't stay the night?
461
00:28:11,723 --> 00:28:14,123
You won't stay the night because
you don't really give a shit.
462
00:28:14,159 --> 00:28:15,235
It's not true.
463
00:28:18,784 --> 00:28:21,109
- Not true.
- Then stay with me.
464
00:28:21,145 --> 00:28:23,305
Your wife's still at her dad's.
She'll never know.
465
00:28:26,055 --> 00:28:27,540
OK.
466
00:28:28,776 --> 00:28:30,296
I'll stay.
467
00:28:35,440 --> 00:28:39,200
SHE SOBS
468
00:28:50,320 --> 00:28:53,205
? Heaven in your arms ?
469
00:28:53,240 --> 00:28:56,485
? It's the sweetness of your charms ?
470
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:58,965
? Makes me love you more each day ?
471
00:28:59,000 --> 00:29:01,405
? In your arms I want to stay. ?
472
00:29:01,440 --> 00:29:06,165
And after we win tonight, how about
we enter the national heats?
473
00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:09,259
- We could go all the way.
- We'll see.
474
00:29:09,295 --> 00:29:12,701
? Tonight with you for the first time ?
475
00:29:12,737 --> 00:29:15,427
? I have learned what my lips are... ?
476
00:29:16,094 --> 00:29:18,859
Hop it, Fido. Get to your basket.
477
00:29:18,895 --> 00:29:19,876
Ugh!
478
00:29:21,243 --> 00:29:22,927
Oh!
479
00:29:22,963 --> 00:29:25,408
Did you ever let your kids
do stuff that they want?
480
00:29:25,739 --> 00:29:27,104
Never knew what they wanted.
481
00:29:27,140 --> 00:29:29,826
- Didn't they tell you?
- Couldn't be arsed listening.
482
00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:33,445
Christ almighty.
483
00:29:33,480 --> 00:29:35,245
Could you telegraph that more?
484
00:29:35,280 --> 00:29:37,165
Stevie Wonder seen that coming.
485
00:29:37,200 --> 00:29:40,805
No, no, no, no, no.
486
00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:43,640
Timing. It's all about timing.
487
00:29:47,271 --> 00:29:48,624
He didn't come home.
488
00:29:49,133 --> 00:29:50,871
I've played it all wrong.
489
00:30:02,815 --> 00:30:04,513
Sheila Grove calling.
490
00:30:04,930 --> 00:30:06,737
Tell her I'll ring her back.
491
00:30:11,850 --> 00:30:13,170
Hello, Sheila.
492
00:30:14,960 --> 00:30:18,120
Hello, Sheila. Are you there, love?
493
00:30:28,700 --> 00:30:30,220
Bastard.
494
00:30:41,600 --> 00:30:43,000
I'm not having this.
495
00:30:45,961 --> 00:30:50,872
_
496
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:02,445
Confidentially, what really alarms me,
497
00:31:02,480 --> 00:31:04,800
my sister's started
using cheapo products.
498
00:31:06,340 --> 00:31:09,125
Oh, yeah, so our clients aren't getting
the same level of service now.
499
00:31:09,161 --> 00:31:10,535
Do you think that's fair?
500
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:18,436
If I'm honest, I think you should feel
free to take your custom elsewhere.
501
00:31:20,068 --> 00:31:23,360
No, I'd do exactly the same.
502
00:31:28,759 --> 00:31:29,799
Dana.
503
00:31:31,520 --> 00:31:33,725
- You're back again.
- Can I...
504
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,131
Can I speak to Bel, please?
505
00:31:35,389 --> 00:31:38,506
Shameem's is scary.
506
00:31:39,120 --> 00:31:44,765
Everyone's so shiny and
smooth and just perfect.
507
00:31:45,134 --> 00:31:47,689
And they're all looking at me like,
"Who's this freak?"
508
00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:50,045
So, I came back to you, because...
509
00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:51,245
We're all freaks here?
510
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:53,125
No, no, you're just...
511
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:54,440
You're not stressed about it.
512
00:31:55,560 --> 00:31:57,525
- I mean, look at you.
- Me?
513
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:01,005
You got lines and wrinkles,
but you're not fussed.
514
00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:04,160
And you wear what you like
and you do what you want.
515
00:32:05,131 --> 00:32:06,896
It's more about confidence, isn't it?
516
00:32:06,932 --> 00:32:10,017
It is about confidence.
517
00:32:11,189 --> 00:32:13,800
Of course, you'd have to ask
who you're doing it for.
518
00:32:25,160 --> 00:32:27,205
You know what? Let's sack the fillers.
519
00:32:27,240 --> 00:32:29,885
We'll give you a simple skin
brightening peel,
520
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:33,125
which freshens you up,
but leaves you looking like you.
521
00:32:33,160 --> 00:32:35,485
- OK.
- And if your fiance isn't happy...
522
00:32:35,520 --> 00:32:37,600
Then he won't be my fiance much longer.
523
00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:46,360
MACHINERY STARTS UP
524
00:32:49,474 --> 00:32:52,947
Ted, my head's gone AWOL.
525
00:32:54,960 --> 00:32:58,005
I slept with Bel. And I just thought,
526
00:32:58,040 --> 00:33:00,485
what am I doing playing away?
527
00:33:00,520 --> 00:33:02,179
I love my wife.
528
00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:04,560
What was I thinking?
529
00:33:17,811 --> 00:33:20,091
ARGH!
530
00:33:22,326 --> 00:33:23,926
AHH!
531
00:33:40,242 --> 00:33:41,312
Ted.
532
00:33:41,348 --> 00:33:44,303
Yeah, sorry, mate, lost
you there for a second.
533
00:33:46,159 --> 00:33:47,879
Let me buy you a pint.
534
00:34:09,370 --> 00:34:11,735
What the hell's Ma done to herself?
535
00:34:11,771 --> 00:34:13,336
Ah, you spoke to your sis.
536
00:34:13,372 --> 00:34:17,292
Look, there is absolutely no proof
that she's up to no good.
537
00:34:26,331 --> 00:34:29,056
OK, Mr Dog With Two Dicks.
538
00:34:29,092 --> 00:34:31,728
- How did it happen?
- Ted, if I knew that...
539
00:34:32,934 --> 00:34:34,539
It's like I'm two different people.
540
00:34:34,605 --> 00:34:39,450
Away from her, I'm steady,
middle-aged family man Wes.
541
00:34:39,486 --> 00:34:41,651
And then I see her again
and my head goes woof.
542
00:34:41,687 --> 00:34:43,007
But if you had to choose...
543
00:34:44,664 --> 00:34:45,839
..now.
544
00:34:49,537 --> 00:34:51,145
Could go either way.
545
00:34:52,640 --> 00:34:55,080
- Seriously?
- Lorelei...
546
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,125
She makes me feel 20, and that's...
547
00:35:01,502 --> 00:35:03,222
It's intoxicating.
548
00:35:05,626 --> 00:35:08,034
No, I mean, in the end,
it's got to be Bel, right?
549
00:35:10,594 --> 00:35:12,144
Always.
550
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,000
- Pint?
- Cheers.
551
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:26,040
Dante, plan B.
552
00:35:34,700 --> 00:35:36,260
I think you should end it.
553
00:35:40,771 --> 00:35:42,371
He's just stringing you along.
554
00:35:44,080 --> 00:35:46,960
- He did stay the night.
- What has he promised you?
555
00:35:48,040 --> 00:35:50,605
- Yeah, nothing.
- Nothing.
556
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:53,485
- I know I should end it, I just...
- Don't know if you want to.
557
00:35:53,520 --> 00:35:55,405
But if I did, I'd want
to make it easy on her.
558
00:35:55,440 --> 00:35:58,242
It's fair enough. What if she ended it?
559
00:36:00,440 --> 00:36:03,245
- Why would she?
- What is she, 27?
560
00:36:03,280 --> 00:36:04,405
29.
561
00:36:04,440 --> 00:36:05,621
That age?
562
00:36:06,240 --> 00:36:08,160
It's all about image.
563
00:36:10,000 --> 00:36:12,680
Selfies, Instagram, style, taste.
564
00:36:14,520 --> 00:36:16,374
Show her you've got none,
565
00:36:16,531 --> 00:36:19,616
- she'll run a mile.
- Really?
566
00:36:19,652 --> 00:36:22,148
- Trust me.
- Right, so I'll end it.
567
00:36:22,648 --> 00:36:23,688
Absolutely.
568
00:36:24,939 --> 00:36:26,904
- Unless...
- What?
569
00:36:27,080 --> 00:36:28,120
He ups his game?
570
00:36:29,200 --> 00:36:31,325
- How?
- Makes some radical gesture,
571
00:36:31,360 --> 00:36:34,320
which proves he's planning
a future with you.
572
00:36:36,560 --> 00:36:39,205
- What sort of gesture?
- And this is...
573
00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:40,680
The ultimate turn-off.
574
00:36:48,233 --> 00:36:51,285
Here you go. Still you, but brighter.
575
00:36:51,320 --> 00:36:53,765
I like it. It gives me a glow.
576
00:36:53,800 --> 00:36:55,360
Oh, my God.
577
00:36:56,591 --> 00:36:58,236
Look who it is.
578
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:01,160
- Who?
- ***
579
00:37:01,253 --> 00:37:03,005
Blues just signed him.
580
00:37:03,040 --> 00:37:04,405
This can't be happening.
581
00:37:04,440 --> 00:37:05,615
Yeah, it can.
582
00:37:05,651 --> 00:37:07,336
They're wadded.
583
00:37:07,680 --> 00:37:10,845
He's early. I told him
not to come before 12.
584
00:37:10,880 --> 00:37:13,645
- Why are you hiding?
- He's never seen me without make up.
585
00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:14,685
What, even in bed?
586
00:37:14,720 --> 00:37:17,405
No, I get up, I put my make-up on
at five, and when he wakes up,
587
00:37:17,440 --> 00:37:19,562
he thinks that's what I look like,
but I don't - I look like this.
588
00:37:19,598 --> 00:37:20,702
Help me.
589
00:37:22,711 --> 00:37:23,892
Can I help you?
590
00:37:23,968 --> 00:37:27,725
Yes, I've come to collect
my fiancee, Dana Gifford.
591
00:37:27,760 --> 00:37:29,880
Yeah, of course. Dana.
592
00:37:32,960 --> 00:37:34,645
She seems to have disappeared.
593
00:37:34,680 --> 00:37:37,280
Heidi, could you see if
you could locate Dana?
594
00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:41,645
- Heidi...
- Hi, Leon.
595
00:37:41,680 --> 00:37:43,920
Er, hello.
596
00:37:45,865 --> 00:37:47,365
Is Dana around?
597
00:37:48,314 --> 00:37:51,205
Heidi, could you check the cubicles?
598
00:37:58,091 --> 00:37:59,571
Heidi...
599
00:38:05,192 --> 00:38:06,757
You bastard.
600
00:38:06,793 --> 00:38:08,958
- Who?
- Arsehole.
601
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:12,045
- The Leon guy?
- That's him.
602
00:38:12,080 --> 00:38:17,085
- Who?
- Oh, the one-night stand.
603
00:38:17,120 --> 00:38:18,805
Don't call it that.
604
00:38:18,840 --> 00:38:21,845
The very short liaison that resulted
in your offspring, Disney?
605
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:23,405
Did you see the way he looked at me?
606
00:38:23,440 --> 00:38:25,149
Well, he hadn't got a clue who you are.
607
00:38:25,185 --> 00:38:26,785
Why would he do that?
608
00:38:34,000 --> 00:38:36,805
- Baby, what's up?
- She was feeling a bit faint,
609
00:38:36,840 --> 00:38:39,008
so I told her to get close to the floor.
610
00:38:39,044 --> 00:38:39,997
What?
611
00:38:40,032 --> 00:38:42,325
If she's coming down with something,
you don't want to catch it.
612
00:38:42,360 --> 00:38:44,600
OK, well, baby, let's
get you home. Yeah?
613
00:38:48,440 --> 00:38:49,760
Yeah, so, now you know.
614
00:38:50,860 --> 00:38:52,625
- This is me.
- Yes.
615
00:38:52,660 --> 00:38:54,865
- Without make-up.
- And?
616
00:38:54,901 --> 00:38:57,061
Well, obviously you're horrified.
617
00:38:59,040 --> 00:39:01,720
Mr Kawasaki... Leon, sorry.
618
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:07,325
Can I say what a lucky girl
Dana is to be your fiancee?
619
00:39:07,360 --> 00:39:09,640
And now we all want to make
her look her best for you.
620
00:39:11,120 --> 00:39:14,485
I will personally guarantee
to get her paparazzi-ready
621
00:39:14,520 --> 00:39:17,280
by agreeing to be her
personal make-up artist.
622
00:39:18,222 --> 00:39:20,107
Is that what she wants?
623
00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:23,080
I think we can all agree
it's what she needs.
624
00:39:24,440 --> 00:39:25,480
You want this?
625
00:39:26,737 --> 00:39:29,622
No. No, I don't...
626
00:39:29,865 --> 00:39:31,505
I don't want any of it.
627
00:39:33,325 --> 00:39:37,050
Getting judged and slagged off.
628
00:39:37,320 --> 00:39:38,885
"Oh, my God, he could so do better."
629
00:39:38,920 --> 00:39:41,245
"Have you seen those eye bags
and the size of that arse?"
630
00:39:41,280 --> 00:39:43,605
I'm not a lingerie model, I'm a...
631
00:39:43,640 --> 00:39:45,325
I'm a dental nurse.
632
00:39:45,360 --> 00:39:47,720
You are right, I am horrified...
633
00:39:49,320 --> 00:39:51,009
That you think so little of me.
634
00:39:51,600 --> 00:39:54,114
That you care so much what other think.
635
00:39:54,150 --> 00:39:56,270
Don't you care what others think?
636
00:39:58,020 --> 00:40:00,039
I care what you think.
637
00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:09,765
He picked that
638
00:40:09,800 --> 00:40:11,445
when he could've had me.
639
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,165
Well, he did have you.
640
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:15,727
For five minutes in
the back of a Beetle,
641
00:40:15,763 --> 00:40:18,348
after you flashed your
foof at him in Suede.
642
00:40:21,151 --> 00:40:22,911
What is she doing?
643
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:25,965
Sign this for us, please?
644
00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:28,725
- Oh, it's a pleasure.
- I'm a footballer.
645
00:40:28,760 --> 00:40:30,736
- Where do you play?
- Upfront.
646
00:40:31,235 --> 00:40:33,504
Oh, that's a tough place to be.
647
00:40:33,540 --> 00:40:36,985
- It's in the blood. Because of my dad.
- What, he plays football?
648
00:40:37,021 --> 00:40:38,786
Used to, don't know if he still does.
649
00:40:38,822 --> 00:40:41,307
- Never met him.
- Oh, that's a shame.
650
00:40:41,343 --> 00:40:42,940
He don't care.
651
00:40:42,976 --> 00:40:47,880
Hey, he doesn't know
what he's missing, OK?
652
00:40:49,680 --> 00:40:51,580
- Can I have a photo?
- Of course you can.
653
00:40:53,240 --> 00:40:55,605
Come on, let's go.
654
00:40:55,640 --> 00:40:57,525
- Cheese!
- Cheese!
655
00:40:58,989 --> 00:41:00,648
What did you think would happen?
656
00:41:01,047 --> 00:41:03,252
That he'd feel the same,
657
00:41:03,600 --> 00:41:08,405
that he'd come looking for me
and I would tell him about Diz
658
00:41:08,440 --> 00:41:11,034
and he'd say we should be together.
659
00:41:11,133 --> 00:41:12,538
It was one night.
660
00:41:12,574 --> 00:41:14,094
Five minutes.
661
00:41:16,022 --> 00:41:18,312
But it meant the world to me.
662
00:41:19,725 --> 00:41:22,445
Have you got any idea what it's like?
663
00:41:23,240 --> 00:41:26,640
To believe in something...
664
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:30,247
..to have absolute faith...
665
00:41:31,428 --> 00:41:35,160
..and then find out everything
you thought was real...
666
00:41:36,560 --> 00:41:38,845
..was a bazzin' great lie?
667
00:41:44,239 --> 00:41:46,719
Could I borrow your sat-nav?
668
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,120
Mine's bust. I was going to get
a new one at the weekend.
669
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,800
- Yeah, sure.
- Cheers.
670
00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:14,685
Got your message.
671
00:42:14,720 --> 00:42:16,280
What's up?
672
00:42:19,467 --> 00:42:20,507
Sweet.
673
00:42:37,720 --> 00:42:38,760
Her car's here.
674
00:42:40,325 --> 00:42:41,672
Shit.
675
00:42:42,380 --> 00:42:45,734
Right, where is she?
676
00:42:46,465 --> 00:42:47,505
And who's she with?
677
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:50,338
Come on.
678
00:42:54,604 --> 00:42:56,138
_
679
00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:58,920
Snapchatting the boyfriend?
680
00:43:00,493 --> 00:43:03,658
- How did you guess?
- Well, I've got teenage kids.
681
00:43:03,756 --> 00:43:05,521
So how are we?
682
00:43:05,557 --> 00:43:07,482
I'm really glad you
decided to come back.
683
00:43:07,518 --> 00:43:10,043
At my age you need all
the help you can get.
684
00:43:10,079 --> 00:43:11,319
Shall we stretch?
685
00:43:20,821 --> 00:43:22,965
My hub thinks I'm a lost cause.
686
00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:26,045
Childhood sweethearts, see?
Thinks he knows me inside out.
687
00:43:26,080 --> 00:43:27,120
Cheek of it!
688
00:43:29,749 --> 00:43:31,994
How about you? You been together long?
689
00:43:32,560 --> 00:43:34,485
Oh, no, not really.
690
00:43:34,520 --> 00:43:36,280
We're actually quite new.
691
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:39,200
Are you the marrying kind?
692
00:43:40,740 --> 00:43:41,780
I guess so.
693
00:43:43,960 --> 00:43:45,680
- Is he?
- Well...
694
00:43:47,040 --> 00:43:48,045
What, he's asked you?
695
00:43:48,080 --> 00:43:49,120
SHE LAUGHS
696
00:43:50,180 --> 00:43:52,145
That'd be a bit premature.
697
00:43:52,383 --> 00:43:54,948
Because he's cautious?
698
00:43:55,280 --> 00:43:58,320
No. Cos he's married already.
699
00:44:00,780 --> 00:44:05,025
- Oh.
- Which I feel totally bad about.
700
00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:07,105
I've never in my life
gone after a married man.
701
00:44:07,140 --> 00:44:08,865
I didn't go after this one.
702
00:44:08,900 --> 00:44:11,025
I didn't know he was married
until after we...
703
00:44:11,669 --> 00:44:14,020
Well, presumably the marriage is over.
704
00:44:14,088 --> 00:44:18,408
I thought so. Then he went
and slept with his wife.
705
00:44:31,580 --> 00:44:34,580
- Mum wears glasses?
- And trackies?
706
00:44:38,411 --> 00:44:40,376
He admitted it?
707
00:44:41,120 --> 00:44:43,485
He said it was just the once.
708
00:44:43,520 --> 00:44:46,125
She'd made a real effort and he
felt so bad for her he just...
709
00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,045
Poked her out of pity?
710
00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:49,400
Wow.
711
00:44:51,656 --> 00:44:53,301
Is he going to leave her?
712
00:44:53,422 --> 00:44:56,547
He says so, but he wants
to let her down gently.
713
00:44:56,697 --> 00:44:59,622
- Oh, that's kind of him.
- He is kind.
714
00:44:59,800 --> 00:45:01,925
He doesn't want to hurt
her any more than I do.
715
00:45:01,960 --> 00:45:04,805
And, obviously, if I thought there
was anything still between them...
716
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:07,880
- But there isn't?
- If he's saying he wants to be with me?
717
00:45:08,920 --> 00:45:12,045
But he's going to have to
make some real commitment.
718
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:13,605
Because it's a big concession,
719
00:45:13,640 --> 00:45:15,885
me agreeing to forgive him
after he'd slept with her.
720
00:45:15,920 --> 00:45:18,565
- Does she have a name?
- I don't want to think about her.
721
00:45:19,919 --> 00:45:21,550
If I do, she's real.
722
00:45:27,880 --> 00:45:31,240
So Mum wants to get fit and she
don't want you guys takin' the piss.
723
00:45:31,882 --> 00:45:33,482
I don't blame her.
724
00:45:42,480 --> 00:45:44,040
Ted, you said satin, right?
725
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:46,080
Fibre-optic?
726
00:45:48,360 --> 00:45:49,800
Total turn-off, yeah?
727
00:45:51,520 --> 00:45:52,740
Right.
728
00:46:13,520 --> 00:46:16,640
- Are you DG?
- Are you Manc Gold?
729
00:46:19,280 --> 00:46:20,860
PHONE RINGS
730
00:46:22,622 --> 00:46:23,662
Hi.
731
00:46:26,687 --> 00:46:29,024
Yeah, I'll be right there.
732
00:46:36,360 --> 00:46:37,902
- Watch it!
- Sorry.
733
00:46:39,920 --> 00:46:41,920
Right, what have you found out?
734
00:46:43,320 --> 00:46:45,720
Four, three, two, one.
735
00:46:47,445 --> 00:46:51,330
Way to go, Sheila! You looked like
you wanted to murder those pads.
736
00:46:51,366 --> 00:46:53,171
I was picturing someone's head.
737
00:46:53,207 --> 00:46:54,915
Motivation is the key.
738
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:57,045
And I think you'll agree,
739
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,400
these sessions are already
starting to pay dividends.
740
00:47:00,960 --> 00:47:04,085
- I should go.
- Shall I book you in for next week?
741
00:47:04,120 --> 00:47:05,480
I have to go.
742
00:47:07,480 --> 00:47:09,920
I really think we can take this further.
743
00:47:17,820 --> 00:47:20,180
If I were her, I'd be mega jel.
744
00:47:21,160 --> 00:47:22,347
Of me.
745
00:47:22,943 --> 00:47:24,948
Most people are, babe.
746
00:47:25,600 --> 00:47:28,445
? Just holding my pillow tight ?
747
00:47:28,480 --> 00:47:31,485
? Then you came into my lonely days ?
748
00:47:31,520 --> 00:47:35,405
? With a tender love and sweet ways ?
749
00:47:35,440 --> 00:47:39,085
? Now I don't know where
you come from, baby ?
750
00:47:39,120 --> 00:47:41,426
? Don't know where you've
been to, baby... ?
751
00:47:41,480 --> 00:47:43,125
- Here you go.
- Ta.
752
00:47:43,160 --> 00:47:46,365
? Heaven must have sent you ?
753
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:49,645
? Into my arms ?
754
00:47:49,680 --> 00:47:52,965
? Now in the morning when I awake ?
755
00:47:53,000 --> 00:47:55,085
? There's a smile upon my face... ?
756
00:47:55,120 --> 00:47:56,200
No Wes?
757
00:47:57,475 --> 00:47:59,795
Perhaps he's come to his senses
and done one.
758
00:48:26,039 --> 00:48:28,983
Two tickets to the
Clitheroe Antiques Fair
759
00:48:29,019 --> 00:48:34,200
and a weekend at the
Smuggler's Elbow, Prestatyn.
760
00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:39,485
How gutting must it be, eh?
761
00:48:39,520 --> 00:48:42,285
Knowing Wes only married her
because he couldn't have me?
762
00:48:42,320 --> 00:48:44,965
- Gutting.
- Perhaps I should clone myself.
763
00:48:45,000 --> 00:48:46,765
Perhaps you should.
764
00:48:46,800 --> 00:48:49,067
Least then he'd have
a shoulder to cry on.
765
00:49:03,874 --> 00:49:07,372
Yes! Oh, yes!
766
00:49:07,480 --> 00:49:09,080
To all of it.
767
00:49:15,480 --> 00:49:20,160
MUSIC: Tainted Love by Gloria Jones
768
00:49:22,017 --> 00:49:23,565
Can I ask you something?
769
00:49:26,322 --> 00:49:27,895
Are you cheating on Wes?
770
00:49:28,219 --> 00:49:29,259
God, Ted.
771
00:49:31,602 --> 00:49:33,380
If you only knew...
772
00:49:34,793 --> 00:49:36,870
Of course I'm not.
773
00:49:43,077 --> 00:49:46,122
You have no idea how
much that means to me.
774
00:49:46,158 --> 00:49:48,283
What is it? Why are you...?
775
00:49:48,319 --> 00:49:51,764
If I tell you, do you promise not
to breathe a word to anyone?
776
00:49:51,800 --> 00:49:53,440
Of course.
777
00:49:55,551 --> 00:49:57,433
Leanne's cheating on me.
778
00:50:00,120 --> 00:50:01,640
- Oh.
- Hello.
779
00:50:02,734 --> 00:50:04,659
Remember the tenth commandment -
780
00:50:04,695 --> 00:50:08,495
thou shalt not covet thy
sister's piece of ass?
781
00:50:17,440 --> 00:50:19,205
So that's the results of the heats.
782
00:50:19,240 --> 00:50:21,045
So now, without further ado,
783
00:50:21,080 --> 00:50:24,280
let's kick off with the final
of the over-50s section!
784
00:50:41,320 --> 00:50:45,960
MUSIC: Do I Love You By Frank Wilson
785
00:50:59,040 --> 00:51:01,365
- She loved it.
- Even Prestatyn?
786
00:51:01,400 --> 00:51:03,160
Even the fibre-optic rose bush!
787
00:51:05,122 --> 00:51:06,708
So now what?
788
00:51:06,744 --> 00:51:09,171
Guess she's going nowhere
for the time being.
789
00:51:10,879 --> 00:51:13,279
Don't tell me you're not
just a little bit chuffed?
790
00:51:19,252 --> 00:51:20,892
- Drink?
- Half.
791
00:51:37,700 --> 00:51:39,980
- You remembered.
- Why wouldn't I?
792
00:51:41,680 --> 00:51:45,205
Well, aren't you the better man
turning up to support the family?
793
00:51:46,255 --> 00:51:48,520
Least some of us appreciate you.
794
00:52:03,548 --> 00:52:04,993
Give that man an Oscar!
795
00:52:05,029 --> 00:52:06,483
Is that how it's done?
796
00:52:06,722 --> 00:52:09,207
Play away, delete conscience?
797
00:52:09,359 --> 00:52:11,924
- Ask your ma.
- I'm asking you.
798
00:52:12,073 --> 00:52:13,638
It's been a while now.
799
00:52:13,674 --> 00:52:16,319
As far as I remember,
it's all about boxes.
800
00:52:16,560 --> 00:52:20,560
Pack away your finer feelings and
let the beast come out to play.
801
00:52:23,280 --> 00:52:25,480
Once upon a time, he
wouldn't have gone near her.
802
00:52:28,763 --> 00:52:30,488
Has he now?
803
00:52:31,040 --> 00:52:33,920
Close, but no cigar.
804
00:52:41,800 --> 00:52:43,365
What can I do?
805
00:52:43,700 --> 00:52:48,460
I don't want advice, I don't want
questions, I don't want anything...
806
00:52:49,600 --> 00:52:51,320
..except for you to listen.
807
00:52:53,660 --> 00:52:55,785
I'm hoping it's a flash in the pan,
808
00:52:55,920 --> 00:52:58,885
that she'll come to her senses and
realise what she's throwing away.
809
00:52:59,520 --> 00:53:01,640
I don't want to say anything now...
810
00:53:03,700 --> 00:53:05,700
..because I don't want
to make her choose.
811
00:53:07,840 --> 00:53:11,139
Because if she chooses now,
I think she'll choose him.
812
00:53:11,175 --> 00:53:14,761
So all I'm asking is for you to be
there, whenever I need you.
813
00:53:16,956 --> 00:53:18,801
Can you do that for me?
814
00:53:18,837 --> 00:53:20,722
Of course, Ted.
815
00:53:20,758 --> 00:53:21,798
Any time.
816
00:53:39,360 --> 00:53:44,440
You were brilliant. Beautiful!
Thank you, thanks a lot.
817
00:53:53,000 --> 00:53:57,605
Thank you, thanks a lot.
818
00:53:57,640 --> 00:54:00,845
Mum, Mum, smile!
819
00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:03,085
Yay!
820
00:54:03,120 --> 00:54:05,400
Let me in.
821
00:54:07,160 --> 00:54:08,405
That's your lot, amigo.
822
00:54:08,440 --> 00:54:09,765
Ta for the work-out.
823
00:54:09,800 --> 00:54:10,840
I don't understand.
824
00:54:11,465 --> 00:54:13,190
Adios?
825
00:54:13,436 --> 00:54:15,881
But you are my little northern soulmate.
826
00:54:16,120 --> 00:54:18,000
Keep the faith, cock.
827
00:54:22,959 --> 00:54:24,494
Let's go home.
828
00:54:25,010 --> 00:54:27,255
Nobody warn you? She always comes home.
829
00:54:27,720 --> 00:54:29,987
Good back-flips, though.
830
00:54:48,440 --> 00:54:49,959
So you're back now?
831
00:54:50,470 --> 00:54:52,235
That a problem?
832
00:54:52,560 --> 00:54:54,360
Not for me.
833
00:54:55,820 --> 00:54:58,220
- Glass?
- I'm up early.
834
00:55:08,522 --> 00:55:10,202
Sleep well.
835
00:55:11,456 --> 00:55:12,749
And you.
836
00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:44,609
Nice to see you
without all that slap on.
837
00:55:45,520 --> 00:55:49,165
What was I thinking?
That I wasn't thin, smooth,
838
00:55:49,200 --> 00:55:51,405
buffed and fluffed enough for him?
839
00:55:51,440 --> 00:55:53,921
- Screw him.
- Screw them both.
840
00:56:03,520 --> 00:56:05,485
Hi, this is Lorelei Bailey, PT.
841
00:56:05,520 --> 00:56:06,803
Please leave me a message.
842
00:56:07,360 --> 00:56:09,845
Hi there, it's Sheila.
843
00:56:09,880 --> 00:56:11,565
Coming back for more.
844
00:56:11,600 --> 00:56:12,720
I'll try again later.
845
00:56:14,480 --> 00:56:16,445
You do know you're playing with fire?
846
00:56:16,480 --> 00:56:19,205
What I know is, I'm going
to make them wish that
847
00:56:19,240 --> 00:56:21,800
they'd never set eyes on each other.
848
00:56:30,160 --> 00:56:32,645
Everything's going according to plan.
849
00:56:32,680 --> 00:56:34,559
Cheers, Daddy-O.
850
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:36,849
What did we agree?
851
00:56:37,400 --> 00:56:39,085
That I shouldn't call you that?
852
00:56:39,120 --> 00:56:40,279
Mm.
853
00:56:40,694 --> 00:56:43,534
Sweet, though, having someone say it.
854
00:56:45,542 --> 00:56:48,724
When you couldn't have
kids with your wife?
855
00:56:49,803 --> 00:56:51,522
Not couldn't, didn't.
856
00:56:53,200 --> 00:56:54,560
Never wanted one with her...
857
00:56:56,040 --> 00:56:58,885
..and luckily she's so vain it never
took much to convince her
858
00:56:58,920 --> 00:57:00,080
not to wreck her figure.
859
00:57:01,325 --> 00:57:03,045
I had the snip.
860
00:57:05,211 --> 00:57:07,011
- Get out!
- Mm.
861
00:57:08,055 --> 00:57:10,580
I would've had it reversed
if I'd got with Bel.
862
00:57:10,616 --> 00:57:12,176
But now it's too late.
863
00:57:14,048 --> 00:57:16,739
Still, small price to pay
if I get her in the end.
864
00:57:17,345 --> 00:57:19,240
Has it always been her?
865
00:57:21,622 --> 00:57:23,742
Nobody's even come close.
866
00:57:25,760 --> 00:57:28,583
But you married her sister.
867
00:57:31,264 --> 00:57:32,904
How else could I stay in her life?
868
00:57:35,248 --> 00:57:36,986
You find the one, you don't just give up
869
00:57:37,337 --> 00:57:39,765
because they marry someone else.
870
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:41,280
You bide your time.
871
00:57:43,105 --> 00:57:45,145
And when that day comes...
872
00:57:48,200 --> 00:57:49,760
Has the day come?
873
00:57:50,740 --> 00:57:52,420
She's right on the edge.
874
00:57:54,840 --> 00:57:57,020
All she needs is a little push.
875
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:15,365
? Don't want us to be over ?
876
00:58:15,400 --> 00:58:18,885
? Don't want us to be over, please ?
877
00:58:18,920 --> 00:58:22,565
? Time goes slow-mo ?
878
00:58:22,600 --> 00:58:24,965
? Don't want us to be over ?
879
00:58:25,000 --> 00:58:28,720
? Don't want us to be over. ?
880
00:58:28,770 --> 00:58:33,320
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