All language subtitles for with.love.2021.s02e03.1080p.web.h264-cakes

[both singing along] ♪
Estas son las mañanitas ♪

♪ Que cantaba el rey David ♪

- ♪ Hoy por ser día de tu
santo ♪ - [both mumble lyrics]

♪ Te las cantamos a ti ♪

- ♪ Despierta,
mi bien, despierta ♪♪

- - You two butchered that song.
- Oh, I see.

She's 30, flirty and still
wearing her mouth guard.

She's a lady.

Oh, my God. Stop.

- Let the old woman sleep.
- Fine.

Sol and I will go enjoy
our delicious homemade

three-course
breakfast without you.

- Mm.
- I take it all back.

- I love you guys!
- I love you!

- Happy birthday!
- Ah! Thank you!

It's my birthday!

- We got her in the mouth guard. Never get...
- No way.

- Oh, oh, oh. Okay, robe.
- Uh-oh.

- What?
- Ah, isn't it cute?

Mami and papi had it
delivered for my birthday.

So, how's party prep
for the big bash going?

- You know throwing a banger on a budget is my jam.
- Tía Gladys is on it.

She knows I'm saving
money to buy a house,

so she's assured me she's
upcycling from other parties.

- Hmm.
- And to not ask further questions.

- Oh.
- And now,

for Lily's first gift.

- Okay.
- Thank you.

This is me.

- Aw. - What?
- So cute.

Oh, my God. No way.

I made this bucket list the
night of my quinceañera.

It's all the fun stuff I
wanted to do before I got old.

Ooh. I'll take that.

Wait. Jorgito! Wait! Jorgito.

Wait, Jorgito!

Okay. All right.

"Get a tattoo." As if.

- Ah.
- "Go skinny-dipping"?

- Hmm.
- Now, "learn how to drive a stick shift."

Lil, I barely trust
you in an automatic.

- Mm-mm.
- Hey, I could totally still do all that stuff.

Oh, wait, wait, wait. I
found the best one. Sol.

Sol, you're gonna
love this. Okay.

"But above all else,
be real, girl."

I know how I want
to spend my day.

Knocking some of
this off the list

- before my party tonight.
- Aw...

Who's with me?

So, seriously, who's gonna help
me take care of my bucket list?

I love you, but I can't.

Henry and I are going to see
the wedding planner today.

- Aw!
- Yeah.

Sorry, babe, I can't either.

Charlie has a soccer game today,

and their mom is gonna be there.

Shut up.

- No way.
- Wait, have you stalked her yet?

No. I didn't want to do that.

- Wait, hold up.
- I di... No.

I... found her.

Oh, damn.

That's his ex?

I was gonna talk
shit, but she's fine.

Stop trying to start drama.

- I'm not.
- Miles is cool.

Charlie is cool.
Everyone is cool.

- Okay, fine.
- Wait.

If both of you are busy, who's
gonna help me with my list?

Sorry, babe. Maybe abuelo
or abuela are available.

Yeah, they love skinny-dipping.

Remember our family reunion?

They're still banned from
that downtown Marriott.

- Really?
- They are.

- No way.
- Oh, okay.

Oh.

To my favorite big sister

on her double quinces.

- Cheers.
- Thank you. Cheers.

- That retainer, though.
- I swear.

- Why does she still wear it?
- Oye.

- Jorgito.
- Yeah.

Don't forget our
appointment later.

Ah, right, the test. Yes.

- Mm-hmm.
- What test?

Um, it's this
Catholic quiz thingy

for marriage compatibility.

I'm sorry, did
the Pope just pass

a thing allowing us to
get parried in church?

- 'Cause I didn't get that phone call.
- Stop.

Well, I tried to talk Father
Bautista into allowing my boys

to marry in the church,

- and he said no.
- Hey.

Abuela, it's fine.

- No.
- It is.

I don't really love the
aesthetic anyway, so we're good.

We'll be over later, and I
love you very, very much.

- Yo también te quiero mucho.
- Mm.

Look at you.

Yeah, well,

I think she just wants some sort
of Catholic stamp of approval.

It means a lot to
her, and I love her,

so, Jesus, take the wheel.

- Amen.
- Okay.

But...

Let's go.

- Ooh.
- Can't wait for our lunch date, hot stuff.

You're hot stuff.

I don't know how I got that woman.

Looks like things are
going well with you two.

I know. Can you believe
it's only been six months?

And that thing that usually
happens when I start dating,

where I want to sprint in
the opposite direction,

hasn't happened.

I'm not sprinting.

You are, though. Ready?

Yep. Yep, bring it.

- Arms up, arms up.
- Yep. Yes, sir.

Hey, you're seeing the
wedding planner today, right?

Can I put in a request
for carrot cake?

Big swing, I know, but
it'll be memorable.

I'll see what I can do.

Oh.

Ah.

Hey, Lil. Happy birthday.

What's up? You need me to
bring something tonight?

Nope, we're all set.

I was actually wondering if
you were free before the party

for a little adventure.

Ooh. You know I love a
mysterious adventure.

- I am there.
- Sweet.

Oh, shit. Uh...

Sorry. Can't. Sorry.
Forgot I was booked.

- Uh, but I will see you tonight.
- Okay.

- See you tonight.
- Bye.

Aw.

Of course you'd call
instead of text.

Some say predictable,
I say reliable.

Happy birthday, Lily.

It's good to hear your voice.

Texting every once in
a while has been nice,

- but there's something about your velvety baritone.
- Thank you.

Um, anyway,

uh, I just wanted to call
and say happy birthday,

you know, and I've
done that, so...

Well, thank you for calling.

Yeah, thank you for
being born.

Yeah. Uh, you know, I
should probably go, and...

Hey, you think you can
successfully teach me

how to drive stick?

What?

I found this bucket list
I made when I was 15,

and you know how much I hate
leaving to-do lists incomplete,

so I thought I'd give
myself a little adventure

and cross a few things
off of it today.

I'm sorry. It's so silly.

- I-I'm sure you're busy.
- No.

No, no, I can, I can come over.

There's something I've been
meaning to give you, anyway.

Only thing is, I had
to get rid of my truck.

But we can always use
one of your dad's cars.

He's out of the country,
so I can't ask him.

But taking his car
without his permission

would delight 15-year-old me,

- so let's do it.
- All right.

Let's do it. Um, yeah, I'll
see you in a little bit.

Rock and roll.

All right, bye.

Hey, kiddo, what's up?

You were unusually
quiet in the car.

I was singing along
to the Grateful Dead,

and you didn't make
fun of me once.

You nervous about the game?

Please, there's literally
nothing less important

than the result of a children's
athletic competition.

This kid gets it.

I guess I'm a little nervous
about Sol meeting Mom.

- Wait, you are?
- Yeah.

I mean, Mom's the
best, but she's...

Intense.

Watch it, Dad.

But intense, yeah.

She's super intense.

And, you know, she,
sometimes, she's a little...

- Judgy?
- Dad, stop.

But yeah, judgy.
She's totally judgy.

Wait, judgy how?

Like mom-judgy.

Oh, I want to chime in so badly.

It all comes
from a good place.

She's just a little
overprotective,

and I guess I want
things to go well,

because I love you, Sol.

I love you, too, Charlie.

And I'm sure everything
is gonna be okay.

Yeah. I mean, totally.
You're not nervous.

- Uh, well, I wasn't nervous, but now I'm a little...
- Mom!

My baby.

I know, you're not a baby,

but you're always gonna be
my baby, so tough nuggets.

Go on, get out there. Warm up.

- Amanda, hey. This is Sol.
- Hi.

Hi. Sol, Amanda.

Finally. Mm. Are you a hugger?
Because I'm a hugger, babe.

Oh, I just realized,

I didn't wait for
you to respond.

I shouldn't have crossed that
boundary without your consent.

I'm sorry.

I'm a hugger, too, so
it's completely okay.

Okay, can we do it again,
then? 'Cause I cut mine short.

Oh, God.

It is just so great
to finally meet you.

I mean, Charlie glows
when they talk about you.

And I can totally
see why already.

I mean, who knew you could be
so chic under those lab coats.

I mean, this guy's like a walking J.Crew catalog.

You know, you say
it as an insult,

but all I hear is a compliment.

Oh, dang it.

Lee's dad just bailed again.

He was supposed to
bring fruit salad.

That's actually what
I brought today.

Okay, it's official.

You are a star. Come here.

We're hugging again.

I'm gonna be hugging
you all day, I think.

I think we're gonna
be hugging all day.

Ooh, you're so tiny.

Little bird bones.

I love it.

Ah, I wish we could
share clothes.

She likes you.

This is gonna be the
wedding of the century.

We're so hyped.

So, how
I like to start is,

I kind of run through
some classics,

just to get a sense
of what you like.

It's broad strokes, low presh.

So, I'll click through
pretty quickly,

and you just kind of
give me a gut instinct.

Okay.

Ooh. Willamette River Inn.

- Love the water.
- No hotels.

Portland Rose Room.

Yeah, like a cottagecore vibe.

Oh, my allergies
would destroy me.

The Pearl, very modern.

- Dated the bartender.
- Max? Me, too.

Did not end well.

So that's out. Fear not.

Happens all the time,

and I've got some useful
follow-up questions

that can get us
on the same page.

Like, uh, indoor or outdoor?

- Outdoors is so nice.
- Indoor, obviously.

Henry, our wedding
is in December.

Jorge, our climate
is in collapse.

No worries, no problem.

Why don't we just get a
little more in-depth? Sasha?

Complimentary Xanax?

Hey, thank you so
much for coming.

I'm just gonna get
my bag really quick.

So...

This is your gift.

Oh, wow.

Should I open it now?

Yeah, sure.

Oh, my God.

A custom travel makeup station.

Did you make this?

I mean, yeah.

Uh, I started it before
you and I... you know.

But friends give each
other gifts, right?

Yeah, right.

So, I, uh, put a mirror in here.

- Stop.
- Thought you might like that.

And, you know, some space for
your brushes and products,

- and stuff like that.
- Santiago.

Is this because I
was always bitching

about not having a
mobile makeup station?

See, I did listen sometimes.

Oh! Thank you, thank
you, thank you!

Oh, this is,
like, the best present

I've ever received
in my entire life!

Well, I'm glad you like it.

But we should get going.

We owe it to 15-year-old
Lily to get you on the road.

Okay.

I'm gonna be dreaming
about those scallops for months.

Well, if you're
dreaming about scallops,

- then I'm doing something wrong.
- No, don't worry.

You're in there.

Who do you think's
catching the scallops?

- Naked.
- Ooh, sounds unsafe.

- But, hey, your dream.
- Mm-hmm.

You know, I've kind
of always wanted to.

Well...

- want no more.
- Oh!

Oh, gosh, so he's fun.

You're talking to the naked
scallop catcher, baby.

Oh, wow. A noble profession.

- Thank you.
- That's right. You're welcome.

Yes, Charlie!

Eye of the tiger, baby!

No mercy!

You're doing great, honey!

Just remember to feel the fun!

- Oh, my God.
- Enjoy the wind in your hair.

- He is so corny.
- I mean, truly. Thank you.

- But it's cute.
- Well, it was.

I mean, it's not for me anymore,

but I love that you love it.

I do.

Get 'em, king!

That's how we do it.

Wow. Okay.

Something we like
to do, you know,

to keep the spirits up.

I love it.

That's amazing.

Aw, seriously, Sol.

I am just so grateful that
Charlie has you to look up to.

Thank you. It's
special for me, too,

but parents as
supportive as you two,

that's a big deal.

I wish I had that when
I was Charlie's age.

Oh, my God. Please.

That kid teaches me.

I'm not just proud, I
am incredibly grateful.

I-I feel blessed, you know,

to have this
incredible, queer kid.

Ugh, and an awesome,
amazing, queer,

ex-husband as my co-parent.

What? I'm not queer.

But thank you, Amanda.

I think you're an
awesome co-parent, too.

Oh, I'm sorry.
I-I actually thought...

Doesn't matter what
I think, right?

Like, you know,

every-every day there's like
a new teachable moment for me,

and I'm learning lots of things.

I'm sorry, I apologize.

I have cake!

Who doesn't like this part?

Huh? Okay, now take your time.

Savor each bite.

Now, on the count of three,
you're both gonna point

- to your favorite. One.
- Okay.

Two. Three.

Fondant, Henry? Oh, God.

Uh, a naked cake?

You get like a third of
the frosting you pay for.

Fondant over my dead body.

How many more times are
you gonna use that threat?

'Cause, as of now, I can't
invite half my family

as the seats are taken by
20 of your dead bodies.

Good!

You know, we
actually collaborate

with some pretty wonderful
couples' therapists.

- Sasha.
- Purple binder?

- Purple binder.
- Okay.

Well, she did not look happy.

Is this
a terrible idea?

None of this is real.

Whatever happens, it's
gonna make a great story.

Hi, I'm Zari.

Thanks for your patience.

How can I help you?

- Can we get a reading?
- Sure.

Who wants to go first?

Uh, me, apparently.

Mm-hmm.

- Thank you.
- Of course. -

So, what's your name?

Uh, aren't you gonna
consult your crystal ball

for that little piece of info?

I'm kidding.

I'm sorry. Uh, it's-it's Nick.

Anything in particular
you want to ask the deck

before the spread?

Uh, uh, sure. Yeah.

How am I doing?

That is my question.

- For the deck of cards.
- Great.

I'm gonna pull three
cards for you, Nick.

- Past, present and future.
- Okay.

Let's start with your past.

Ah.

The card of beginning itself.

The Fool?

Judgy.

Okay, it's not
necessarily a bad thing.

Could be speaking to
unformed potential,

living in the present moment
without thinking twice.

- Stuff like that.
- Yeah, that does describe me up until my early 20s.

And my late 20s.

And really any time up
until last month.

Okay, your present.

The King of Cups.

Hmm.

It seems that while you were
once more naïve and fast-paced,

you're now thinking
more seriously

- about matters of the heart.
- Yeah.

Yeah, actually, um, that's
my girlfriend Ana out there.

Things are getting
pretty serious.

Oh, but see, the
card is reversed.

Is it possible there's
some big emotion

you're not letting
yourself feel?

Is there anyone or
anything in particular

you've been avoiding
thinking about?

What, you mean, mean like an
old crush or-or something?

Uh, no.

No, nothing, nothing like that.

Okay, let's take a look
at the future, then.

You know, sometimes the
last card is the piece

that really makes
the whole puzzle fit.

Yeah.

Oh. Oh, Nick, this is a
beautiful omen of happiness

and deep true love.

But you're gonna have to deal
with whatever the King of Cups

is saying you're
leaving unattended.

Interesting.

All three of these illustrations

prominently feature
different flowers,

and that's not a common symbol.

Do flowers mean anything
special to you, Nick?

Are those...

lilies?

- Okay, Lil, you got to...
- Do not say the grapes and the tuna thing again!

It's clearly not working.

Also, it's a little distracting.

Because it's a gross
food combination.

Okay.

Maybe this was a
little ambitious.

But at
least we tried.

- All right, well, if you can't cross it off the list...
- Oh, no.

I'm crossing it off.

I got behind the
wheel and no one died.

So...

What does 15-year-old
Lily want us to do next?

[♪ Mest: "I Melt With You"]

♪ Moving forward
using all my breath ♪

♪ Making love to you
was never second best ♪

♪ I saw the world crashing ♪

all around your face ♪

♪ Never really knowing it
was always mesh and lace ♪

♪ I'll stop the world
and melt with you ♪

♪ I'll stop the world ♪

♪ You've seen the difference ♪

♪ And it's getting
better all the time ♪

♪ There's nothing
you and I won't do ♪

♪ I'll stop the world ♪

♪ I'll stop the world
and melt with you ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

♪ I'll stop the world
and melt with you ♪♪

Wow!

Outdoor pool in Portland?

You have a rich friend.

Yeah, and that rich friend said

he'd be back in 45
minutes with his kids,

so we got to get moving.

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, you want me to...

- Mm.
- Really?

- Yeah.
- Okay.

I have seen you
naked quite a few times.

Just saying.

So...?

- You coming in?
- Was that on the list?

I don't remember seeing that.

Well, it is now.

It is now.

Okay.

Anything for the birthday girl.

Happy birthday to me...

As your friend,

you look good naked.

Careful with that talk.

But as your friend, you do, too.

You know what's a real shame?

What?

We never did it in a pool.

Careful with that talk.

Oh, shit!

- They're back early.
- No way! Move!

And then he was all
like "What? I'm not queer."

With that intonation
and everything?

You need to walk me through
this Miles thing a little.

Come on, you all know exactly
what I'm talking about.

What if underneath of
the charming smile,

he's just another one of
those dangerous DL dudes?

- Oh...
- 'Cause I've been in that relationship,

and I promised
myself never again.

I don't know.

Miles has been amazing,

it's just...

something about
the way he said it.

- Ah.
- Mm.

- It's so messed up.
- Ugh.

Black trans femmes
deserve to be happy.

You deserve to be happy.

I know.

But that's not always what
we get, though, is it?

All right, honey.

The point is, we love you.

And I love y'all.

I will say,

I think Miles does, too.

Genuinely.

I want that to be true so bad.

But if someone can't
see me for who I am,

that's not really love.

Okay, honey, come
on. Sit down.

Come on.

I hear you, babes,

but you said it yourself...

things have been great with him,

so let's not jump to any
conclusions just yet.

And tonight...

I just want you to have a good time, okay?

Damn right!

'Cause, honey, I done
already microdosed

and I'm ready.

Wait, microdosed on what?

Oh, darling. It's best
that you don't know.

Look at us.

Are we like...

- real friends now?
- Mm.

You know, I think we are.

Seriously, thank you
so much for doing this.

It was...

kind of the most fun
I've had in a long time.

Maybe a little too much fun.

Yeah, maybe we did get
carried away a little bit.

But it was a great day.

I just hope I haven't let down
15-year-old Lily too much.

Well,

I think 15-year-old Lily
would be damn impressed

with the woman standing
in front of me.

She'd judge you on your
roller-skating skills

- a little bit.
- Just a little bit.

But, I mean, come
on. Look at you.

You're starting a new business,
you're saving up for a home...

You've had a lot of
love in your life.

I don't know,

if you ask me, that all
sounds pretty badass.

What would 15-year-old Santiago
think of this guy right here?

Oh...

He'd be like "Damn,
you dated her?

How'd you fuck that up?"

You know, if-if-if you're
not doing anything tonight,

you're more than
welcome to stop by.

I mean, it's gonna
be the most fabulous

double quinces on a budget
Portland has ever seen.

Yeah, thank you for
the invite.

Uhm... How do I...

I kind of have a date tonight.

Yeah.

Of course. Uh...

I mean, that's great.

Um...

You can come by afterwards.

Or you can bring her

if she's cool coming

to your ex-girlfriend's
birthday party.

And I'm hearing myself, and
that sounds very unlikely.

Um...

I appreciate the invite.

You know, maybe we will.

- So...
- Okay.

Bye, Lily.

Are you...

You want me to shake your hand?

No. No, no, no. Bring it in.

Yeah.

- Yeah, I should go.
- Yeah.

- Thanks for the jacket back.
- Of course.

Bye.

Great.

Another quiz to expose how
not on the same page we are.

At least it's a written test
so you can have a record

of all the ways
I disappoint you.

Henry, I'm not gonna do this.

Can you just not raise
your voice? Please!

Hola, hola, hola, mis
chicos tan guapos.

The time has come.

¡Buena suerte, chamacos!

This thing almost pulled
the plug on our wedding.

It did?

You have
nothing to worry about.

The FOCCUS questionnaire

has held up a mirror to many

Catholic couples for
hundreds of years.

Well,

- the Scantron says "1974."
- Shh!

This test is a tool to make sure

that the two of you have
had conversations necessary

for a successful marriage.

Pero no se preocupen.

I'm sure you are on
the same exact page.

Yeah.

We are.

Ooh, careful, baby.

Tía's sangria is potent.

Good.

What's the matter with you?

Ah, nothing.

Hey, tía.

Hey, Gladys.

What the hell is going
on? This is a party!

Whatever's happening, I
don't have time to fix it,

so here's what's gonna happen.

You are gonna turn your
frowns upside down.

You're gonna eat a pot brownie.

You're gonna get
your shit together,

because this is a Gladys
Delgado Production, baby,

Which means?

Everyone is getting plastered?

- You hired a stripper?
- You put molly in the mole?

These are all great
suggestions, but no.

It means this party

is gonna be epic
for our girl, okay?

Okay, Henry, I want
you to grab the chips.

I need you to go out there.
I need you to start dancing.

Oh-oh, your shirt falls
off? Whoa, that's okay.

Keep going. Get them
on the dance floor.

I hear her, I hear her.

Okay, smiles, everyone.

Smiles.

God, I would've been
such a good stage mom.

Help! I have nothing to wear.

Ten steps ahead of you, babe.

Open it... and you're welcome.

No way.

- My original quinceañera dress.
- Yeah.

Re-tailored and redesigned
for Ms. Be Real herself.

And my tiara!

- Honestly, you don't really deserve us.
- Mm.

Oh, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you!

It's stunning.

We just wanted
to add a little bit of sunshine

to your day.

I got to be honest with you,

I didn't know I could
still cry tears.

But I just did it. That
was really beautiful.

You know what's more
beautiful? You fucking working!

- Yes. Right.
- On it.

So many fun presents.

Can we talk about that?

- Oh, that's from...
- Santiago.

I know, I read the card.

Did he make that? With
his beautiful hands?

- He did.
- Aw.

- So, you guys back together?
- No.

- Just friends.
- What?

If that man showed up at my door

with that thoughtful-ass
gift, I would be like

"Please, sir, put it
wherever you would like."

- Tía.
- What?

I said "please" and
"sir" 'cause I'm classy.

- We're just friends.
- Oh, my God.

Your generation exhausts me.

♪ Are you ready? ♪

♪ Step up to the spot ♪

♪ Everybody look at me now ♪

♪ Who dat, who dat, fire
burn, call me Tina ♪

♪ Kodak, Kodak, now they
want to take a picture ♪

♪ Watch yourself or I might
just take your mister ♪

♪ Woop! Woop! Get it
up and get it in ♪

♪ Woop! Woop! I think I
need to call a friend ♪

♪ Woop! Woop! We're
going till the end ♪

♪ Spending money, give
me dollars and the yen ♪

but then I found out that
he's not a billionaire.

He's a millionaire, and you know
there's such a big difference...

Hey, it's so great to see you.

- Oh.
- What, uh...?

Have you seen Sol? They
haven't texted me back.

- What's... what's going on?
- About that.

Go ahead and take a seat, Doc.

Uh...

what's...?

Are you afraid
of being queer?

Can you not handle
Sol's gender-expansive,

label-defying glory?

Whoa. Whoa, whoa, whoa, what?

Uh, too many hyphenates, babe.

Miles.

Your ex-wife called you queer
and you hit the brakes so hard

that you sent Sol flying through
the metaphorical windshield.

- What's up with that?
- Ah. Okay, um...

Look, I got to be honest.

I get
that I messed up,

but I have no idea how.

I fully support Sol's
transness, and also,

I'm a straight dude.

We know they give
femme realness,

but Sol is nonbinary.

And the last time I checked,
that's not news to you.

Right, but what does
that have to do with me?

Well,

you're loving beyond
the binary now, honey.

So if you're that committed
to your "straightness,"

it's a very dangerous
game, is all.

- "Dangerous"?
- I know that might

seem like a stretch,

but there are some so-called
"straight men" out there

who go from desiring
trans femmes

to disappearing
them in a heartbeat.

But I would never...

Holy shit.

Does Sol feel unsafe just
because I said I was straight?

When you grow up with
a target on your back

just for being who you are...

Sol's learned the hard way

that you have to be
safe rather than sorry.

So when you completely dismiss

the mere idea that your
sexuality might be fluid...

That's where that type of
violence stems from, honey.

I never thought
about it like that.

Most people
don't, but they should.

You should.

I think you and Sol
have something special.

So if you truly love them,

you're gonna need to break
out of some boxes as well.

Oh, give me a sec.

You're here!

- Hey.
- Hey!

Welcome to my doble quince!

- Happy birthday.
- Thank you, thank you.

- These are freshly baked.
- Mm.

Nick mentioned you
liked red velvet?

- I do.
- Good.

I made them with black beans.
I swear they're good, though.

Great, I can't
wait to taste them.

Yeah, yeah, the
cupcakes are great.

And she's really great.

And you're really great.

It-it doesn't need
to be a competition.

- Happy birthday, Lil.
- Oh, thank you.

I'm gonna put these
in the kitchen.

Um, we went
to a fortune teller

earlier and he's been
a little weird since.

- No, I haven't.
- Yes, he has.

Hey, maybe alcohol
will fix this.

- That way.
- Okay, thank you.

- Great.
- Come on.

You need me to throw down?

Huh? Tía.

What? No, it's
okay. I invited him.

Oh.

And what about, uh,
Titty McDing-dong?

She has a name.

I just don't know
what it is yet.

But I told him he
could bring her.

God, you make
questionable decisions.

- Hey, you.
- How are you?

Mwah, I'm good.
Hi, look at you.

You are just a person, are you?

Hi.
Hi, um, you came.

We came.

Everything looks great.
You look amazing.

Thank you.

Oh, um, Lily, this is Kiki.

Welcome to my
double quinceañera.

Oh, it's nice to meet you.
Thank you for inviting me.

This is so cool.

I'm definitely gonna have
one of these when I turn 30.

Oh.

In, like, five
years.

- Uh... where's the bar?
- That way.

- Okay.
- Yeah. Thank you.

Okay.

What's the play?

Because it's your night, and
I don't want to cause a scene,

unless you want me
to cause a scene.

I'll cause a scene.
I'll scream so loud...

I adore you, but no.

- It's okay. I invited him.
- Really?

- When?
- Today,

after we spent the
entire day together

doing fun, cute shit
from my bucket list.

Ah, so you did all of
that stuff with him?

Danger zone, Lily Diaz.

No. It was great. We
had a really good time.

Nothing physical
happened, I swear.

What exactly on the list
did you do with him?

Did you
go skinny-dipping?

Did you
go skinny-dipping?

Okay, yes, but it
wasn't like that.

We were able to be together,

literally naked,
and we were cool.

That's a big deal in that
it wasn't a big deal.

Okay.

All right. Because
it's your birthday,

I'm gonna just excuse
myself to the other room.

But if tonight turns into
a murder mystery party,

you'll know who did it.

And it's gonna be me.

God, it's just...

Hey.

Hey.

Can we just not be
mad anymore, please?

Yes! Thank God, because I don't
like this feeling, it sucks.

I hated today,

and I never hate days that
involve you, cake and champagne.

Well, the wedding planner
was one thing, but...

I don't know, what if
this test comes back

- and proves that we're not meant to be together?
- Wait.

Do you really care
what that test says?

- It was just to appease your abuela.
- Yeah, I know,

but now I'm, like, in my head,
it feels weirdly important.

Well, well, I don't
care what it says.

I want to marry
you no matter what.

I want to marry you, too.

Okay. Okay.

We're gonna go out there
and we're gonna tell abuela

that we do not care about the
results of that stupid test.

Right.

And I could do the naked cake.

Good, 'cause we're
not doing fondant.

Lavender, I'm so sorry. Do
you mind giving us a minute?

- Oh, of course.
- Thank you.

Hi.

Hey.

I want to apologize.

I'm really sorry about
the way that I reacted

to what Amanda said
about me earlier.

I...

I wasn't trying to be
dismissive, it was just...

new.

But I never, ever

want you to question
whether you are wholly safe

and loved in this relationship.

Yeah, you have some
pretty amazing friends.

Yeah.

Look, I was just scared
what happened earlier

might mean something I
didn't want it to mean.

And I get that now.

Or, I'm trying to?

To be honest, I'm still wrapping
my head around all of it,

but...

Like, I never realized how
my sense of my own sexuality

might affect you, or us.

I love expressing my femininity,

but I'm trans and I
consider myself very queer.

I'm not a binary woman,

and I don't see myself or
my relationships that way.

So... am I queer?

Miles, I can't answer that for
you, and I'm not trying to.

I just want you to
know how I see us,

beyond all these

man/woman, gay/straight
binaries we're always put into.

Yeah, screw
those binaries.

I care about you more
than any word or label.

So, you know what I think?

What?

I think...

that if loving you
makes me queer,

I'm queer.

Adelante.

¿Abuela?

I'm so sorry to
interrupt Caso Cerrado,

but we have something that
we wanted to tell you...

Yes, but I have
something to tell you.

You did great on the test.

- What?
- We did?

You two are very compatible.

It is a little
annoying.

So, we're not a disaster
waiting to happen?

Oh, because you
should've seen us

with the wedding planner
earlier...

And doing what?
Fighting over cake?

- Yes. - Yeah.
- Please.

- ¿Eso qué importa?
- Pero Dios lo sabe

when it comes to
what really matters.

Your values and
the things you want

- and need for a shared life.
- Well...

Both of you are very
much on the same page.

Well, that's nice to hear.

- This test is amazing!
- Okay.

Now go, go, go because Wheel
of Fortune is about to start.

You don't want to come and
join the party with us?

Wheel of fortune means sex.

Okay, bye.

♪ Heart and soul ♪

♪ I fell in love with you ♪

♪ Heart and soul ♪

♪ Just like a fool would do ♪

♪ Madly ♪

♪ Because you held me tight ♪

♪ And stole a kiss
through the night ♪

♪ Heart and soul ♪

♪ I begged to be adored...

Thank you.

I'm always here for you, babe.

I know a middle school moment when I see one.

Is everything okay with you?

Yeah. I'm great.

So, you're totally good

with your ex bringing
another woman to your party?

Yeah. I'm grown.

I've evolved.

Yeah. Well, your eyebrows are
telling a different story.

My eyebrows
always sell me out.

Okay.

I don't love it.

But we had such a fun
day doing all that stuff,

I actually feel like
we're friends now.

And if I can't be chill,
then I'm gonna ruin that.

Lily, be real, girl.

And if the real is you're
not ready to see your ex

with another woman
yet, that's okay.

I invited him

because I thought
I'd be okay with it,

but I hate it.

I got to go ask my ex to leave.

There she is.

Just after the song's over.

Hey.

- Hey, I was just gonna ask you...
- Look...

I know I'm the one
that invited you,

and it's so sweet that you came.

- You want me to leave?
- Yes.

I get it.

I get it.

It makes it so much
worse that you do.

Well, it was on your
list: "To be real."

Santi,

I wish I was at a place

where seeing you with another
woman wasn't difficult for me.

But I'm not there yet.

I'll get there, though.

'Cause I really
want to be friends.

Me, too.

And, just so you know,

it would be really
hard for me to see you

with someone else, too.

How about we make a rule?

Uh, we don't talk
about who we're dating,

and we don't show up
to things with dates.

Yes!

- We got this.
- Great.

- Yeah.
- High five.

- Easy.
- Yeah.

Happy birthday, Lily.

Thank you.

Yeah.

- Oh, Nick.
- Hey.

Hey. Whoa! The birthday girl.

Are you having an awesome time?

Despite the road bumps, I am.

Road bumps? On your big
day? Who do I have to fight?

No, no, no, it's fine.
It's actually a good thing.

You know, I feel like
I'm finally starting

to gain clarity on what I want.

People talk about turning 30

like it's an end of an
era... And maybe it is...

But doesn't that also
make it a new beginning?

I mean, I'm only 30.

There's so much
of my life ahead.

- Hell yeah.
- Mm.

Hell yeah.

And actually, fun fact,

did you know our brains
aren't fully developed

until we're like 25?

That means you're actually
only five years into being

a fully operational human being.

Wow.

- That explains a lot.
- Oh, yeah.

To our developing brains.

And the places
they will take us.

Can we talk?

Yeah, fine.

All right, the more time
I spend on my health now,

the less time I'll
be sick later.

But you know what? These
are Ana's bean cupcakes,

so they're fine.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Poison.

They're kind of
burned a little bit.

- It's not worth it.
- I need advice.

Oh, okay. Yeah, what's up?

Yeah, uh, well, okay.

There's a woman from my past...

Oh, my God. You're still
in love with my sister?

Really?

- Jorge!
- What?

- Am I that transparent?
- Yeah.

Extra clear cellophane.

A freshly Windex'ed window.

The ocean of the Caribbean...
I can keep going.

No, no. You said enough.

Look, when we first hooked up,

Lil was right not
to take me seriously

'cause I was a man-child.

But now I have my shit together.

And, also there was this
tarot card reading...

A tarot card reading?

I know it's not about
the cards, per se.

I get that you see
what you want to see.

But isn't it interesting

that what I want to
see is me with Lil?

Wow.

You want some advice?

- Yeah.
- Get your head on straight,

get out there and dance
with your girlfriend,

who you are very happy with.

Ana is great.

But this has nothing
to do with her.

It's...

Oh, man.

Jorge, I have been in
love with your sister

since Putnam Hall freshman year.

What?

Yeah, I walked into our room

and there was just this
goddess sitting there

in a Britney Spears
T-shirt and ripped jeans.

She smelled like apple
Jolly Ranchers, man.

- Oh, my God.
- I said something stupid

and she laughed and I was done.

I have never felt that way
about a girl in my life.

Ever. Or since.

For the record, that was
my Britney Spears T-shirt,

but I had no idea that this
crush went back that far.

And how are we talking
about this just now?

I didn't want my feelings
for her to get between us.

And I wasn't ready.

And if I'm being completely
honest with myself,

so much of who I am
now is because of her.

And maybe even for her.

Oh.

Well, babe, I'm...

sorry, I just, I don't
think she sees you that way.

- Really? Because...
- No.

I just don't want to
see you get hurt, okay?

I love

that you and Lily have stumbled
into this meaningful friendship,

but I think that's
all it is, and I love

who you've become, too,

but maybe that's just for you.

Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. You're, uh,
you're probably right.

Um...

It is time to get over this
crush once and for all.

Yeah.

Feels good to finally
tell you, though.

And you're right.

Ana is great.

Thanks, Jorge.

Of course. I love you.

Me, too.

But no more secrets.

It's very annoying.

Well, apparently, I'm
cellophane, so just

- look right through me now.
- It gives me a lot of anxiety.

Hey.

- Is... everything okay?
- No, Nick.

Everything is not okay.

Oh, hey, listen. Healthy
desserts, they're hard.

You got to sacrifice the
flavor, but you know...

No, it's not
about the cupcakes.

It's about the cards.

You saw you and
Lily in the cards.

Really?

Shit.

You heard all that?

Yeah, I heard that.

And before I heard it, I saw it.

And before I saw it, I felt it.

I have felt it this whole time.

And I just brushed it off

again, and again, and again!

God, trust your instincts, Ana!

I have just been an
understudy this whole time.

No, no, this has been real.

It's been real, and-and-and
the last six months

- Ana, I've been...
- Don't.

I like you.

And I really, really
like you so much...

Uh...

But I'm not her.

I am no one's consolation price.

I'm sorry.

You deserve better.

Yeah, I do.

I'll get my stuff tomorrow.

♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ Dear Lily ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

Wait, hold on...

Make a wish.

- Ding.
- Ah! Jorge!

No!

Hey.

Mmm. Oh, my God.
This is delicious.

Damn, this is good.

Did we just find
our wedding baker?

- Gladys.
- Tía, come.

This cake is amazing.

Thank you. I know.

Would you make our wedding cake?

You guys...

No. It's so much work.

I could be persuaded.

Prada mules for three weeks.

Four weeks.

Three and a half weeks.

Throw in the black
Balenciaga bag.

You bitch.

Deal.

Nice doing business with you.

- Pleasure.
- Ah, damn it.

- What just happened?
- We just got our wedding cake.

♪ I want to see you
bring the heat ♪

♪ Bring the heat, the heat ♪

♪ Bring the heat, the heat ♪

Go,
Lily! Go, Lily! Go, Lily!

- Go, go, go, go, go, go!
- Go, Lily! Go, Lily!

♪ The flavor ♪

♪ You got it, yeah,
let's move that body ♪

♪ Uh-huh, you got it ♪

♪ I want to see you
bring the heat ♪

♪ Somebody gon' loving
the way that body roll ♪

♪ Got everybody watching, like
'bout to do the impossible ♪

♪ Yeah, that the
way it always gone ♪

♪ Movin' that body
on the floor ♪

♪ Just bumping to the speakers ♪

♪ And letting the
music take control ♪

♪ I want to see you bring
the heat, the heat ♪

♪ I want to see you bring
the flavor, the flavor ♪

♪ Come on, let's move it
to the beat, the beat ♪

♪ We gonna do it now
and later, and later ♪

♪ I want to see you bring
the heat, the heat ♪

♪ Bring the heat, the heat ♪

♪ Bring the heat, the heat ♪

♪ Bring the heat, the heat ♪

♪ Bring the heat ♪

♪ I got ya everything
you wanted ♪

♪ No, I just don't stop ♪

♪ I move it like the mambo ♪

♪ Bring the heat so hot ♪

♪ They just keep
coming knocking ♪

♪ Like a rat-tat-tat ♪

♪ Yeah, they can't
help but love it ♪

♪ 'Cause I-I'm in the
mood for something ♪

♪ I got a body stushin' ♪

♪ So papi say the word and
we go zero to a hundred ♪

♪ I'm in the mood
for something ♪

♪ Can't help but
feel the rush, yeah ♪

♪ Keep doing what we doing ♪

♪ Until this room is
burning up, yeah ♪

♪ I want to see you bring
the heat, the heat ♪

♪ I want to see you bring
the flavor, the flavor ♪

♪ Come on, let's move it
to the beat, the beat ♪

♪ We gonna do it now
and later, and later ♪

♪ I want to see you bring
the heat, you got it ♪

♪ Yeah, let's move that body ♪

♪ Bring the heat, you got it ♪

♪ Yeah, let's move that body ♪

♪ Bring the heat, you got it ♪

♪ Yeah, let's move that body ♪

♪ Bring the heat, you got it ♪

♪ Yeah, let's move that body ♪

♪ Like, uh-huh, you got it ♪

♪ Yeah, let's move that body ♪

♪ Like, uh-huh, you got it ♪

♪ Yeah, let's move that body ♪

♪ Like, uh-huh, you got it ♪

♪ Yeah, let's move that body ♪

♪ Like, uh-huh, you got it ♪

♪ Yeah, I want to see you
bring the heat, the heat ♪

♪ Bring the heat, the heat ♪♪

GloNation! Yay!