All language subtitles for What.We.Do.in.the.Shadows.S05E06.1080p.HEVC.x265-MeGusta NO HI

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish Download
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,410 --> 00:00:04,520 You will want to get this on camera. Ha! 2 00:00:04,520 --> 00:00:06,460 Quickly. Gizmo! 3 00:00:06,460 --> 00:00:09,200 Gizmo? Gizmo, get up. 4 00:00:09,200 --> 00:00:11,440 - Yeah? Yeah? - Where's Nandor? 5 00:00:11,430 --> 00:00:13,470 Um, I think he's, uh, indisposed 6 00:00:13,470 --> 00:00:15,540 at the moment, um, in his bedroom. 7 00:00:15,540 --> 00:00:19,180 Ha, shaking hands with Rosie Palmer and her five milkmaids. 8 00:00:19,180 --> 00:00:20,820 - What? - What? Follow me. 9 00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:22,790 Laszlo's still the only one who knows 10 00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,500 I'm half-vampire and he's been doing experiments to help. 11 00:00:25,500 --> 00:00:27,670 Happy to report that there's been some progress. 12 00:00:27,670 --> 00:00:31,080 My telekinesis has gotten better. 14 00:00:35,350 --> 00:00:37,560 Pretty cool, huh? 15 00:00:37,550 --> 00:00:40,620 I have discovered something wonderful with the frogs 16 00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,430 - that I injected with your blood. - Wait, 17 00:00:42,430 --> 00:00:44,470 you-you did what with my blood? 18 00:00:46,770 --> 00:00:48,610 - Why are they so hairy? 19 00:00:48,610 --> 00:00:50,380 Well, why are you so hairy? Who cares? 20 00:00:50,380 --> 00:00:52,450 - Now, bon voyage. - What? No! 21 00:00:52,450 --> 00:00:53,690 Those poor frogs! 23 00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:01,460 Shit. 24 00:01:03,540 --> 00:01:06,210 - Come on, little guy, come on, you can do it. - Shh! 25 00:01:07,410 --> 00:01:08,480 - Your turn. - To do what? 26 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:09,650 I want you 27 00:01:09,650 --> 00:01:11,150 to leap off that balcony. 28 00:01:11,150 --> 00:01:12,390 What? 29 00:01:12,390 --> 00:01:13,730 No, I'll break my legs. 30 00:01:13,730 --> 00:01:15,730 - Bullshit. You saw those frogs. - Yeah. 31 00:01:15,730 --> 00:01:18,330 They were transformed by your blood, they flew. 32 00:01:18,330 --> 00:01:20,400 Ipso facto, shithead... 33 00:01:21,710 --> 00:01:22,880 ...so can you. 34 00:01:22,880 --> 00:01:24,750 But what if I can't? 35 00:01:24,750 --> 00:01:26,320 Yeah, but what if you can? 36 00:01:26,320 --> 00:01:27,860 What if you can? 38 00:01:29,420 --> 00:01:30,860 - That would be pretty cool. - It would be 39 00:01:30,860 --> 00:01:33,230 very cool. Now, I calculate 40 00:01:33,230 --> 00:01:35,230 we have exactly two minutes before 41 00:01:35,230 --> 00:01:37,200 Nandor finishes making pearl jam. 42 00:01:37,200 --> 00:01:39,640 - Right. - So I'll see you at the bottom. 43 00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:41,740 As the actress said to the bishop. 44 00:01:41,750 --> 00:01:43,350 Come on, Guillermo. 45 00:01:43,350 --> 00:01:46,260 I believe in you and I love you, Guillermo. 46 00:01:46,260 --> 00:01:47,530 Come on, Gizmo, let her rip. 47 00:01:47,530 --> 00:01:49,430 Launch yourself forward, see what happens. 48 00:01:49,430 --> 00:01:51,740 - We should practice closer to the floor first. - No. 49 00:01:51,730 --> 00:01:53,300 No, no, no. You will never fly 50 00:01:53,300 --> 00:01:55,240 unless you need to. Panic is 51 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:56,840 the secret ingredient. Now, come on. 53 00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:03,330 Aah-- 55 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:07,630 I'm doing it! 56 00:02:07,630 --> 00:02:09,330 - Guillermo? - Yes, Master-- 58 00:02:10,940 --> 00:02:13,610 - That's how we all learned. 60 00:02:15,750 --> 00:02:18,350 ? Don't sing if you want to live long ? 61 00:02:18,350 --> 00:02:20,760 ? They have no use for your song ? 62 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:23,500 ? You're dead, you're dead, you're dead ? 63 00:02:23,500 --> 00:02:26,440 ? You're dead and out of this world ? 64 00:02:27,870 --> 00:02:30,910 ? Now your hope and compassion is gone ? 65 00:02:30,910 --> 00:02:33,720 ? You sold out your dream to the world ? 66 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:35,990 ? Stay dead, stay dead, stay dead ? 67 00:02:35,990 --> 00:02:38,260 ? You're dead and out of this world. ? 69 00:02:48,350 --> 00:02:50,690 Oh, shit. 70 00:02:50,690 --> 00:02:52,560 What is this screaming? Is someone squeezing a snake? 71 00:02:52,560 --> 00:02:53,830 Oh. 72 00:02:53,830 --> 00:02:56,300 - Fucking hell. What happened? 73 00:02:56,300 --> 00:02:58,440 Well, I don't know. I was in the library. Don't look at me. 74 00:02:58,430 --> 00:02:59,730 Does it hurt? 75 00:02:59,740 --> 00:03:01,980 Because it looks like it really hurts. 76 00:03:01,970 --> 00:03:03,710 - Hey, boners. - What? 77 00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:05,410 Nice shiner, Colin Robinson. 78 00:03:05,410 --> 00:03:08,280 Hey, look at this dude. 79 00:03:08,290 --> 00:03:09,990 Someone's had an interesting evening. 80 00:03:09,990 --> 00:03:11,560 - Please help me. Wow. 81 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:13,330 What happened to dingus' foot? 82 00:03:13,330 --> 00:03:14,770 Who gives a fuck? 83 00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:16,240 Tell us what happened to your blackened eye. 84 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:17,610 Yes, was it fisticuffs? 85 00:03:17,610 --> 00:03:19,350 Did you get kicked by a donkey? 86 00:03:19,340 --> 00:03:21,240 Stop guessing and stop grabbing me. 87 00:03:21,250 --> 00:03:22,720 This is the problem. 88 00:03:22,720 --> 00:03:24,660 Take it easy, summer breezy. 89 00:03:24,650 --> 00:03:26,750 Every time I go to drain someone, 90 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,400 they see my black eye and want to know what happened. 91 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:32,270 All of a sudden, I'm too... G-damn interesting 92 00:03:32,270 --> 00:03:33,470 to drain anyone. 93 00:03:33,470 --> 00:03:35,040 - What the fuck? Really? 94 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:36,810 You think you are too interesting? 95 00:03:36,810 --> 00:03:38,710 I know I am. I mean, 96 00:03:38,710 --> 00:03:40,650 this exact same thing happened when I came back from Vietnam. 97 00:03:40,650 --> 00:03:42,590 Whoa. 98 00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:44,990 - You were in 'Nam? - Well, thank you for your service. 99 00:03:44,990 --> 00:03:47,860 Colin Robinson, I had no idea you were in the Army. 100 00:03:47,870 --> 00:03:49,570 Oh, I-I wasn't in the Army. 101 00:03:49,570 --> 00:03:51,270 About six years ago, 102 00:03:51,270 --> 00:03:52,710 I took a cycling trip with Backroads. 103 00:03:52,710 --> 00:03:54,910 - On the third day, we found 104 00:03:54,910 --> 00:03:56,650 a dead body. In a tree. 105 00:03:56,650 --> 00:03:57,820 No kidding? 106 00:03:57,820 --> 00:04:00,060 With an ox's asshole 107 00:04:00,060 --> 00:04:02,630 around its neck like a necklace. 108 00:04:02,630 --> 00:04:04,600 - What? - How did that happen? 109 00:04:04,600 --> 00:04:07,340 Some poor farmer and his ox must've stepped 110 00:04:07,340 --> 00:04:09,080 on a decommissioned land mine and... 111 00:04:09,080 --> 00:04:11,590 blew him up into the tree and the ox's 112 00:04:11,580 --> 00:04:13,380 asshole must've landed on his head. 113 00:04:13,380 --> 00:04:14,880 Good grief. - Fascinating. 114 00:04:14,890 --> 00:04:16,660 I wasn't expecting that ending. 115 00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:18,860 See? It's the black eye-- makes 116 00:04:18,860 --> 00:04:20,600 - my stories too interesting. - Do you think 117 00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:22,970 that your black eye also has a very interesting story? 118 00:04:22,970 --> 00:04:26,480 Unfortunately, yes, it's fucking remarkable. 119 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:27,550 But this is Colin Robinson. 120 00:04:27,550 --> 00:04:28,920 I mean, he can't have any more 121 00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:30,690 fascinating stories in him. 122 00:04:30,690 --> 00:04:33,960 Gee, you tell me. A five-pound frozen block 123 00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:36,930 of shit and piss fall off a plane, landing 124 00:04:36,930 --> 00:04:39,430 - on a 308 Ferrari - No way. 125 00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:42,080 and blowing the sideview mirror right into my kisser. 126 00:04:42,070 --> 00:04:43,910 Well, fuck my old boots. 127 00:04:43,910 --> 00:04:45,750 Son of a bitch! 128 00:04:45,750 --> 00:04:48,520 - Frozen blocks of pisses and shits? Yes. 129 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:49,960 - What will they think of next? 130 00:04:49,960 --> 00:04:52,060 Guillermo, oi... 131 00:04:52,060 --> 00:04:54,360 No, fuck this, I want to stay here 132 00:04:54,370 --> 00:04:56,110 and listen to his wonderful stories. 133 00:04:56,100 --> 00:04:58,710 - Yes, me too. - Guillermo is your familiar. 134 00:04:58,710 --> 00:05:00,880 I just went to get him new trousers a year ago. 135 00:05:00,880 --> 00:05:02,380 It is your turn. 136 00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:04,120 Fine. Fuck it. Whatever. 137 00:05:04,120 --> 00:05:06,460 Okay, Guillermo, stop lying around. 138 00:05:06,460 --> 00:05:08,600 Let's get that of yours looked at. 139 00:05:08,590 --> 00:05:10,760 Come on, boys, to the lab. 140 00:05:10,770 --> 00:05:13,440 - Tell me more about this ox's anus. - It really hurts. 141 00:05:13,440 --> 00:05:15,110 Okay already, I said we're going. 142 00:05:15,110 --> 00:05:17,110 Oh! Laszlo, my love, 143 00:05:17,110 --> 00:05:18,750 did you just see a hairy frog? 144 00:05:18,750 --> 00:05:20,490 The only hairy frog I'm interested in, 145 00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:22,820 my darling, is the one between your legs. 146 00:05:22,820 --> 00:05:23,990 It's not just a frog. 147 00:05:23,990 --> 00:05:25,990 - It's the whole swamp. - True. 148 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,640 Come on. 149 00:05:27,630 --> 00:05:29,430 Off you go, my love. 152 00:05:33,480 --> 00:05:35,750 Where are you? Come on, boy. 153 00:05:35,750 --> 00:05:37,920 Come on, boy. Where the fuck are you, 154 00:05:37,920 --> 00:05:39,560 you fucking frog? 155 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:41,760 Are either of you allergic to penicillin? 156 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:43,730 - No. - What is that? 157 00:05:43,730 --> 00:05:45,530 Just ragweed 158 00:05:45,540 --> 00:05:47,440 - and chewing gum. - Chewing gum? 159 00:05:47,440 --> 00:05:49,710 - How unusual. - That is unusual. - Guys, guys. 160 00:05:49,710 --> 00:05:51,480 You're literally killing me. 161 00:05:51,480 --> 00:05:53,690 Right, let's crack on. When I flick this switch, 162 00:05:53,680 --> 00:05:55,080 the lights will flash, there'll be a horrible noise 163 00:05:55,090 --> 00:05:56,690 and a terrible odor 164 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,090 as I transfer the life energy from Nandor 165 00:05:58,090 --> 00:05:59,860 into Colin Robinson. 166 00:05:59,860 --> 00:06:01,900 Sorry, Laszlo, I do have one question. 167 00:06:01,900 --> 00:06:04,010 - Which is? - Will it hurt? 168 00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:05,810 Pain like you've never known. 169 00:06:05,810 --> 00:06:07,810 And furthermore, if you're overdrained, you could die. 170 00:06:07,810 --> 00:06:09,010 Fuck this, I'm out. 171 00:06:09,020 --> 00:06:10,590 - What? - W-Wait a minute. 172 00:06:10,590 --> 00:06:11,890 I'm starving. 173 00:06:11,890 --> 00:06:13,630 And you will be fed, Colin Robinson. 174 00:06:13,620 --> 00:06:15,690 But I think we should revert to our original plan. 175 00:06:15,700 --> 00:06:18,100 - The original plan? Are you mad? I think it's a pretty good plan. 176 00:06:18,100 --> 00:06:19,800 We cover your black eye with makeup 177 00:06:19,800 --> 00:06:21,470 and make you boring again. 178 00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:23,610 It does seem a lot simpler. 179 00:06:23,610 --> 00:06:25,650 - Let's do that. - All right. 180 00:06:25,650 --> 00:06:27,520 - Cowards. - Makes sense. 181 00:06:27,520 --> 00:06:30,160 Turn your back on science at your own peril. 182 00:06:30,160 --> 00:06:31,930 - We'll take our chances. Thank you, Laszlo. - Yeah. 183 00:06:31,930 --> 00:06:33,900 Seriously, Nadja, 184 00:06:33,900 --> 00:06:35,900 I don't need urgent care. I can just sleep it off. 185 00:06:35,900 --> 00:06:37,700 Do you really think I want to doing this? 186 00:06:37,710 --> 00:06:39,850 If it was up to me, I would have just packed your ankle 187 00:06:39,840 --> 00:06:41,680 in some mud made from fish piss 188 00:06:41,680 --> 00:06:43,150 and fed you some pickled pig's ears. 189 00:06:43,150 --> 00:06:46,160 But, no, my husband thinks a doctor is better. 190 00:06:46,160 --> 00:06:48,600 "Trust the science, my darling." 191 00:06:48,590 --> 00:06:50,060 I don't know what's going on 192 00:06:50,060 --> 00:06:52,000 with my body right now, but if a doctor finds out 193 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,070 that I'm almost a vampire, I'm a dead man. 194 00:06:54,070 --> 00:06:56,240 And if Nadja finds out, it'll be worse, so-- 195 00:06:56,240 --> 00:06:58,510 - Stop squirming, Guillermo, we're very close now. 196 00:06:58,510 --> 00:07:00,150 No, you know what? I feel a lot better. 197 00:07:00,150 --> 00:07:02,920 The vampire doctor is going to fix your mangled foot. 198 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:04,860 What? You said we were going to urgent care. 199 00:07:04,860 --> 00:07:06,660 Yes, Familiar Urgent Care, silly. 200 00:07:06,660 --> 00:07:08,560 No. No, Nadja, no! 201 00:07:14,080 --> 00:07:17,520 Oh, just look at all these people to feed from. 202 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,020 I don't know, I kind of feel like I want go home 203 00:07:20,020 --> 00:07:22,960 - and take the train to sleepy town. - No! 204 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:25,100 It would be a sleep of death. 205 00:07:25,100 --> 00:07:27,200 Just take a look at all these losers, hmm? 206 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:29,070 Outdoor diners. 207 00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:31,180 - They do deserve it. Yes. 208 00:07:31,180 --> 00:07:33,080 - Great start. - Uh, excuse me. 209 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:34,820 Hello. 210 00:07:34,820 --> 00:07:37,220 I notice you have a d... Oh. Ooh. 211 00:07:37,220 --> 00:07:39,060 - You got this. - Doggie bag. 212 00:07:39,060 --> 00:07:42,100 Interesting story about how the... 213 00:07:42,100 --> 00:07:44,970 origin of the doggie bag started. 214 00:07:44,970 --> 00:07:47,940 It was actually a-- Ow! 215 00:07:47,950 --> 00:07:49,950 Oh, shit! Son of a bitch! 216 00:07:49,950 --> 00:07:52,220 World War II, they would 217 00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:54,220 - take food home for their dog - Did you see that? 218 00:07:54,230 --> 00:07:56,600 - instead of wasting it. 219 00:07:56,600 --> 00:07:58,000 Don't look at me! 220 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,740 This isn't interesting. 221 00:07:59,740 --> 00:08:01,110 What have you done? 222 00:08:01,110 --> 00:08:03,280 Someone ran over my foot, shithead. It hurt. 223 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:06,720 - Tell them to go away. - Nothing interesting here. Keep moving, please. 224 00:08:06,720 --> 00:08:08,160 Stop filming me! 225 00:08:08,150 --> 00:08:10,250 - Are you okay? - No, I'm not okay. - Shoo! 226 00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:11,930 He needs privacy. 227 00:08:11,930 --> 00:08:14,100 - It is fine. - Nandor, take me home. 228 00:08:14,100 --> 00:08:15,570 I'm taking you home. We're gonna go home. 229 00:08:15,570 --> 00:08:17,570 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. Are you okay? 230 00:08:17,570 --> 00:08:19,570 - No! What the fuck? That's the dude from Mad Men. 231 00:08:19,580 --> 00:08:20,980 Oh, for fuck's sake. 232 00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:22,680 Oh, where's your martini, bud? 233 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:24,250 - Hi. - You got to be kidding me. 234 00:08:24,250 --> 00:08:25,820 Damn, you just got hit by John Slattery. 235 00:08:25,820 --> 00:08:27,220 - That is crazy. - What the heck happened? 236 00:08:27,220 --> 00:08:28,820 You stepped off the curb without even looking. 237 00:08:28,830 --> 00:08:30,700 What happened is you ran over my foot! 238 00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:32,640 We really need to go. My friend is not well. 239 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,240 Let me drive you to the hospital. I-I just 240 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:35,780 played a-a doctor on a season of The Good Fight. 241 00:08:35,780 --> 00:08:36,880 They love me over there. 242 00:08:36,880 --> 00:08:38,250 That was a really good episode. 243 00:08:38,250 --> 00:08:40,020 It doesn't even really hurt that much 244 00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,760 - anymore. - Well, I'll-I'll drive you home, please? 245 00:08:41,750 --> 00:08:43,590 - It's the least I can do. - You know what? 246 00:08:43,590 --> 00:08:45,090 We will accept your generous offer. 247 00:08:45,090 --> 00:08:46,690 - Yes, yes. - What the fuck are you doing? 248 00:08:46,700 --> 00:08:48,140 Hey, John, over here. 249 00:08:48,130 --> 00:08:49,730 We will be in that car alone 250 00:08:49,740 --> 00:08:51,610 with this gentleman that owes you a debt. 251 00:08:51,610 --> 00:08:53,110 Which you will collect 252 00:08:53,110 --> 00:08:55,110 by feeding. 253 00:08:55,110 --> 00:08:57,010 - Hmm? - Yeah. 254 00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:59,890 John Slattery coming to the aid of the guy he just ran over. 255 00:08:59,890 --> 00:09:01,630 - Shotgun left. - Fuck! 256 00:09:01,630 --> 00:09:03,670 - John Slattery, please. - You're a hero, John. 257 00:09:03,660 --> 00:09:05,300 One of the greats. He's not one of the greats. 258 00:09:05,300 --> 00:09:07,200 - He's a reckless driver. You're a reckless 259 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:08,640 - walker. - Peasants, disperse! 260 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:09,810 - Begone! - He call us peasants? 261 00:09:09,810 --> 00:09:11,280 - Oh, rude. 262 00:09:12,110 --> 00:09:14,680 Animal hospital? Why are we-why are we going here? 263 00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:16,830 Ow! 264 00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:19,020 - This is for pets. I'm not a dog. - Shh! Potato, "potahto." 265 00:09:19,030 --> 00:09:21,600 Um, yes, hello, um, I've got a broken familiar. 266 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:24,310 - So, you're gonna want to go around that corner-- - Yeah, I've been here before. 267 00:09:24,310 --> 00:09:26,920 There is nothing to see here. 268 00:09:26,910 --> 00:09:30,780 It is just a Doberman with a floppy tail. 269 00:09:31,550 --> 00:09:33,050 - Hold on tight. - Wait, where are we going? 270 00:09:33,060 --> 00:09:34,330 - Uh, through the wall. - No, no stop! 271 00:09:34,330 --> 00:09:35,930 - That's a solid wall. - No, it's not. 272 00:09:35,930 --> 00:09:39,710 No. No! No! Okay. 273 00:09:39,700 --> 00:09:41,940 - That was kind of cool. - It's just a common cold, so there's gonna be sneezing 274 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:44,980 and coughing and that is gonna be a burden on you, 275 00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:48,790 so I have a recommendation. And that is put her down. 276 00:09:48,790 --> 00:09:51,360 - Oh, gosh, you really think so? - Even if she recovers 277 00:09:51,360 --> 00:09:54,070 from this cold, she's... 278 00:09:54,060 --> 00:09:55,800 good God, she's, like, almost 40. 279 00:09:55,800 --> 00:09:57,770 She might squeeze out a few more good years, 280 00:09:57,770 --> 00:09:59,670 but we're talking quality of life. 281 00:09:59,680 --> 00:10:01,250 Okay, let's do it. 282 00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:03,090 No, fuck this. I'm out of here. 283 00:10:03,080 --> 00:10:04,980 Oh, calm, down, it'll be okay. 284 00:10:04,990 --> 00:10:06,360 No! 285 00:10:06,360 --> 00:10:08,230 Got a live one. 286 00:10:08,230 --> 00:10:11,000 - Thanks, guys. - Sedate him, Jack. - No. 287 00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,740 Fantastic. - That's it. 288 00:10:12,740 --> 00:10:14,110 Aw. 289 00:10:14,100 --> 00:10:15,840 Sweet dreams, Guillermo. 290 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:17,410 - Yeah, perfect. 291 00:10:17,410 --> 00:10:20,080 You, uh, you okay back there? 292 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:21,980 You look like shit. 293 00:10:21,990 --> 00:10:24,390 Well, yeah, I mean, you ran over my foot. 294 00:10:24,390 --> 00:10:27,200 Sorry about all the cell phone pictures and stuff. 295 00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,840 You know, you would that people in New York 296 00:10:28,830 --> 00:10:30,700 would have seen a famous actor before. 297 00:10:30,710 --> 00:10:32,380 It is quite all right, John Slattery. 298 00:10:32,370 --> 00:10:34,740 You have our gratitude. 299 00:10:34,750 --> 00:10:36,750 Drain him. 300 00:10:36,750 --> 00:10:38,890 Do you find it, uh, difficult? 301 00:10:38,890 --> 00:10:40,990 What? 302 00:10:40,990 --> 00:10:43,090 Do you find it difficult 303 00:10:43,100 --> 00:10:45,100 being an older actor? 304 00:10:45,100 --> 00:10:47,140 Having to memorize lines? 305 00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:49,110 Especially when you've been drinking. 306 00:10:49,110 --> 00:10:51,410 Slattery-- that's an Irish name, right? 307 00:10:51,410 --> 00:10:53,720 Wait, s-say that last part again. 308 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:55,760 What, "Slattery's an Irish name"? 309 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:59,000 I mean, I personally don't mind the Irish. 310 00:10:58,990 --> 00:11:02,130 But I just don't like it when they try to sound intelligent. 311 00:11:02,130 --> 00:11:04,430 Huh, wow. 312 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:07,380 I could listen to you talk for hours. 313 00:11:07,380 --> 00:11:10,250 - Exsqueeze me? - I mean, not to what you're saying, but to that accent. 314 00:11:10,250 --> 00:11:12,760 It's just so specific. Where are you from? 315 00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,430 - Well... - Wait, wait, wait, don't tell me. Upper Midwest. 316 00:11:14,430 --> 00:11:17,040 For sure. Uh, Wisconsin? 317 00:11:17,030 --> 00:11:19,030 But not eastern Wisconsin, that would have more of 318 00:11:19,030 --> 00:11:21,130 a Germanic influence to it, am I right? 319 00:11:21,140 --> 00:11:23,810 Are you, like, prepping for a role or something? 320 00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:26,280 No, this isn't for a role. I just love accents. 321 00:11:26,280 --> 00:11:28,220 People are just walking stories, you know? 322 00:11:28,220 --> 00:11:31,090 In all their fascination and specificity. 323 00:11:31,090 --> 00:11:32,290 You ever see the movie Spotlight? 324 00:11:32,290 --> 00:11:35,060 About the Boston Globe reporters 325 00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:38,910 who uncovered the sexual abuse coverup in the Catholic church? 326 00:11:38,910 --> 00:11:41,050 - Yeah, exactly. - No. 327 00:11:41,050 --> 00:11:43,050 Oh. Well, in that I played Ben Bradlee, Jr. 328 00:11:43,050 --> 00:11:45,190 And that character begins with the accent, 329 00:11:45,190 --> 00:11:47,800 because the real Bradlee is from Boston. 330 00:11:47,790 --> 00:11:50,190 But he's an upper-crust guy. 331 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:51,470 Not like some jamoke standing 332 00:11:51,470 --> 00:11:53,210 around Kelly's Tavern 333 00:11:53,200 --> 00:11:55,200 in, uh, Revere Beach, you know what I mean? 334 00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:57,080 - Very good, John Slattery. - Not bad, right? 335 00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:59,120 - But I was talking to him. - Oh. 336 00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,050 You know, it's funny, I had this babysitter when I was a kid. 337 00:12:01,050 --> 00:12:02,990 She was Irish. Her name was Vivian. 338 00:12:02,990 --> 00:12:05,330 But again, sorry for your loss. 339 00:12:05,330 --> 00:12:07,430 She was just a familiar, but thank you. 340 00:12:07,430 --> 00:12:09,800 It is kind of nice to think of Cathy 341 00:12:09,800 --> 00:12:11,470 on that rainbow bridge, 342 00:12:11,470 --> 00:12:13,310 doing stuff with her familiar friends. 343 00:12:13,310 --> 00:12:16,050 Having spaghetti or whatever it is they dream of doing. 344 00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:18,390 Well, they're in a better place now. 345 00:12:18,390 --> 00:12:20,130 - Yes. I wish I was. 346 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,860 - I'm looking for a Nadja. Oh, yes. 347 00:12:22,860 --> 00:12:24,960 - Please, can we go? - Well, 348 00:12:24,970 --> 00:12:27,070 Guillermo's ankle is healing up nicely, 349 00:12:27,070 --> 00:12:29,210 which is very unusual, so... 350 00:12:29,210 --> 00:12:32,250 just to be safe... I say we put him down. 351 00:12:32,250 --> 00:12:33,550 He could break that ankle again, 352 00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:35,390 he could break the other ankle or 353 00:12:35,390 --> 00:12:37,130 - he could just bitch a lot. - Hmm. 354 00:12:37,120 --> 00:12:38,990 Think we're just gonna take him home. 355 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:40,960 All right. Well, that is your choice. 356 00:12:40,970 --> 00:12:42,970 - Yes. - Oh, there's one more thing. 357 00:12:42,970 --> 00:12:45,510 The results of that blood work came back and they're very odd, 358 00:12:45,510 --> 00:12:47,950 so I'm just gonna have it retested, will not take long. 359 00:12:47,950 --> 00:12:50,860 I promise I'm gonna get you out of here well before sunrise. 361 00:12:52,090 --> 00:12:53,490 Now I'm thinking, 362 00:12:53,490 --> 00:12:55,500 "They're going to test him again?" 363 00:12:55,490 --> 00:12:57,230 What if they find that Van Helsing muck 364 00:12:57,230 --> 00:12:58,570 in his blood? 365 00:12:58,570 --> 00:13:00,210 I'm going to have to get him out of here. 366 00:13:00,970 --> 00:13:03,010 Why are we heading towards 367 00:13:03,010 --> 00:13:04,550 the Verrazzano Bridge? 368 00:13:04,550 --> 00:13:07,190 Uh, are you-are you taking us to Brooklyn? 369 00:13:07,180 --> 00:13:09,420 Are you taking us to Brooklyn? Are you... 370 00:13:09,420 --> 00:13:10,890 That-- It's really-- That's a tough one. It's got kind 371 00:13:10,890 --> 00:13:12,290 of a twang to it. Say something else. 372 00:13:12,290 --> 00:13:14,130 I don't want to go to Brooklyn. 373 00:13:14,130 --> 00:13:15,870 I don't want to go to Brooklyn? 374 00:13:15,870 --> 00:13:17,310 There's a little bit of an uptalk there. 375 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:19,140 I don't want to go to Brooklyn? 376 00:13:19,140 --> 00:13:20,240 - Can you let us out right h-- Can you 377 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,010 let us out right here, please? 378 00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,010 You also have these interesting 379 00:13:23,020 --> 00:13:24,560 pauses in your speech, but 380 00:13:24,550 --> 00:13:27,190 I can't tell if they're regional or uniquely you or... 381 00:13:27,190 --> 00:13:28,890 It's just the most interesting accent 382 00:13:28,890 --> 00:13:31,030 - I've ever heard. - Okay, fuck this. 383 00:13:31,030 --> 00:13:32,870 I mean, where are you from? I'm sorry, guys. That's kind of 384 00:13:32,870 --> 00:13:34,470 mean, right? I'm not trying to make fun of you, 385 00:13:34,470 --> 00:13:35,610 I'm just trying to get it in my head, you know, 386 00:13:35,610 --> 00:13:37,180 it's all about muscle memory. 387 00:13:37,180 --> 00:13:38,620 Guillermo? 388 00:13:38,610 --> 00:13:40,580 Guillermo! 389 00:13:40,580 --> 00:13:43,190 Guillermo, why the hell are you wearing a dress? 390 00:13:43,190 --> 00:13:45,900 Hey, Nandor, you made it. Hey, girl. 391 00:13:45,900 --> 00:13:47,340 Get your shit together, we got to go. 392 00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:49,270 No, I want to lie down. You know they gave me 393 00:13:49,270 --> 00:13:51,940 some relax and it's making me feel very medicine. 394 00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:53,610 They are testing your blood 395 00:13:53,610 --> 00:13:56,020 and they're going to find your Van Helsing germs 396 00:13:56,020 --> 00:13:58,060 and whatever else you've got going on in there and then 397 00:13:58,050 --> 00:14:00,190 - they're going to kill you, so let's go! - That sounds serious. 398 00:14:00,190 --> 00:14:01,890 Can I say something? 399 00:14:01,890 --> 00:14:03,930 - Nadja? - What? 400 00:14:03,930 --> 00:14:06,600 I think you're wonderful and I love-- Ow! 401 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:10,170 You're a crazy bitch. But I love you. 402 00:14:10,180 --> 00:14:11,950 You know who else I love is Laszlo. 403 00:14:11,950 --> 00:14:13,650 But he's a horny little bitch. 404 00:14:13,650 --> 00:14:15,920 I also love Colin Robinson. 405 00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,620 He's, like, a little boring bitch. 406 00:14:17,630 --> 00:14:19,470 Like, he's like an LBB. 407 00:14:19,460 --> 00:14:22,330 But, you know, the one I love the most is actually Nandor. 408 00:14:22,330 --> 00:14:24,570 - Because he's, like, the queen bitch. 409 00:14:24,570 --> 00:14:26,210 - Is that crazy? 410 00:14:26,210 --> 00:14:27,580 Hey. Who's that bitch? 411 00:14:27,580 --> 00:14:30,490 Wow, you are such a miracle worker. 412 00:14:30,480 --> 00:14:32,590 He is back to a red, shiny, 413 00:14:32,590 --> 00:14:34,630 fresh apple, so, think we're gonna get 414 00:14:34,630 --> 00:14:36,230 - the ol' dog home now. - Yeah. 415 00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:37,500 I don't think that's gonna happen. 416 00:14:37,500 --> 00:14:38,640 I have a question for you. 417 00:14:38,630 --> 00:14:40,370 Who turned him? 418 00:14:40,370 --> 00:14:41,970 Who what? 419 00:14:41,970 --> 00:14:43,640 According to his blood, 420 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,540 this familiar has been turned into a vampire. 421 00:14:45,550 --> 00:14:48,390 Yes, it's early stages, but he is well on his way. 422 00:14:48,390 --> 00:14:50,490 No, I'm sorry, there's been a huge mistake. 423 00:14:50,490 --> 00:14:53,100 Are you regretting turning him? Because if you are, 424 00:14:53,100 --> 00:14:55,100 you should have thought of that before you did it. 425 00:14:55,100 --> 00:14:57,000 - Guillermo? - Yeah. 426 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,370 - A vampire? - Yes. 427 00:14:58,370 --> 00:14:59,470 That thing? 428 00:14:59,480 --> 00:15:01,380 That loser is a vampire? 429 00:15:01,380 --> 00:15:02,950 Absolutely not. 430 00:15:02,950 --> 00:15:04,390 Have you seen how lame he is? 431 00:15:04,380 --> 00:15:05,650 Science does not lie. 432 00:15:05,650 --> 00:15:07,020 Now, it must be recent 433 00:15:07,020 --> 00:15:08,420 because he's still transforming. 434 00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:11,240 No one in our house would do such a thing. 435 00:15:11,230 --> 00:15:13,500 Well, then we have a very big problem, 'cause 436 00:15:13,500 --> 00:15:15,270 I'm gonna put him down. 437 00:15:15,270 --> 00:15:17,710 Well, you can't do that because... 438 00:15:17,710 --> 00:15:19,410 He is our familiar! 439 00:15:19,410 --> 00:15:22,120 - You need to let him go. - Get your hands off of me! 440 00:15:23,360 --> 00:15:25,100 441 00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:27,530 Guillermo? Guillermo? 442 00:15:27,530 --> 00:15:31,970 Guillermo! Guillermo! 443 00:15:37,450 --> 00:15:39,720 Guillermo! Guillermo, snap out of it. 444 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:41,690 They think you are a bastard vampire 445 00:15:41,690 --> 00:15:43,090 And they're going to kill you. 446 00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:44,300 - Guillermo? Come on, girl. 447 00:15:44,300 --> 00:15:45,740 Get out! 448 00:15:45,730 --> 00:15:47,430 Guillermo. 449 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:49,710 Guillermo? Hello? 450 00:15:49,710 --> 00:15:52,350 Sorry. Guillermo? 451 00:15:52,350 --> 00:15:54,590 Guillermo? 452 00:15:54,590 --> 00:15:56,530 Nadja, hi. 453 00:15:56,520 --> 00:15:58,220 What? You work here? 454 00:15:58,230 --> 00:15:59,700 Volunteer, actually. 455 00:15:59,700 --> 00:16:02,170 It's a way of giving back. 456 00:16:02,170 --> 00:16:04,440 I mean, who rescued who, right? 457 00:16:04,440 --> 00:16:07,050 - Have you seen Guillermo? - Guillermo? 458 00:16:07,040 --> 00:16:08,710 Oh, no, no, not here. 459 00:16:08,710 --> 00:16:10,650 This place is just for strays. 460 00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:13,220 - I have a family. - Hey! Eat your chicken! 461 00:16:13,220 --> 00:16:15,460 - He's not gonna make it. - I can hear you. 462 00:16:15,460 --> 00:16:17,600 Guillermo! Open! 463 00:16:17,600 --> 00:16:19,400 Guillermo. 464 00:16:19,400 --> 00:16:21,810 Uh, I don't... think I can make it. 465 00:16:21,810 --> 00:16:24,350 Of course you're gonna make it. I know this is difficult, 466 00:16:24,340 --> 00:16:26,510 but you've got to be strong, okay? 467 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:30,360 I want you to go in here and ask to use the toilet. 468 00:16:30,360 --> 00:16:33,200 Then I want you to ask for a sanitary wipe. 469 00:16:33,200 --> 00:16:34,770 Then I want you to ask 470 00:16:34,770 --> 00:16:36,740 when the last time they cleaned the toilet. 471 00:16:36,740 --> 00:16:38,340 Then I want you to tell them 472 00:16:38,340 --> 00:16:39,780 you're gonna take a nice big shit, okay? 473 00:16:39,780 --> 00:16:42,220 It's gonna buy you a few more hours of energy. 474 00:16:42,210 --> 00:16:44,780 - Whoa! Get the fuck out! - Oh, fuck. 475 00:16:44,790 --> 00:16:47,490 - May I use your toilet? - Wait a minute, wait a minute. 476 00:16:47,490 --> 00:16:49,630 Yo! 477 00:16:49,630 --> 00:16:51,630 It's my guy from TikTok. 478 00:16:51,630 --> 00:16:53,430 What? 479 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:55,680 Whoa! Nobody fucking move. 480 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:00,120 ? Jump around... ? 481 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:01,590 Colin Robinson, that's you. 482 00:17:01,590 --> 00:17:03,390 - Oh, for crying out loud. - Yeah. 483 00:17:03,390 --> 00:17:05,160 How did they make this so quick? And the music? 484 00:17:05,160 --> 00:17:06,560 Aah! 485 00:17:06,560 --> 00:17:08,230 Nice shot. 486 00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:10,700 Thank you so much! You saved my store! 487 00:17:10,700 --> 00:17:13,140 - He did? - How clean's your toi... 488 00:17:13,140 --> 00:17:15,380 - It's... - No! 489 00:17:15,380 --> 00:17:17,180 Colin Robinson! 490 00:17:17,180 --> 00:17:19,390 - Guillermo! - You can't be back here. 491 00:17:19,390 --> 00:17:21,390 Move! 492 00:17:21,390 --> 00:17:23,390 - Fuck off! 493 00:17:23,400 --> 00:17:25,540 - Guillermo! - Hey, girl. 494 00:17:25,530 --> 00:17:27,800 Get off him! Get away! 495 00:17:27,810 --> 00:17:30,350 - He's mine! 497 00:17:32,450 --> 00:17:35,290 Get off him! Get off! 498 00:17:35,290 --> 00:17:37,490 Shoo! Scram! 500 00:17:39,460 --> 00:17:41,130 Now, what the fuck, man? 501 00:17:41,130 --> 00:17:42,800 This doctor tells me you're almost a vampire? 502 00:17:42,800 --> 00:17:44,870 Oops, I have a little secret. 503 00:17:44,870 --> 00:17:47,740 - Focus, Guillermo. The truth now. 504 00:17:47,750 --> 00:17:49,820 Fine! Okay? 505 00:17:49,820 --> 00:17:53,230 I took my fate into my own destiny and I had Derek do it. 506 00:17:53,220 --> 00:17:55,460 - I paid him to do it. He turned me into a vampire! 507 00:17:55,460 --> 00:17:57,200 Derek? 508 00:17:57,200 --> 00:18:00,510 You could have been turned by a legendary vampire, 509 00:18:00,500 --> 00:18:04,210 and you gave it away to Derek? 510 00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:07,350 Nandor is going to rip your face into a new asshole. 511 00:18:07,350 --> 00:18:09,190 Well, it doesn't matter, does, it, 'cause these guys 512 00:18:09,190 --> 00:18:10,860 - are gonna kill me anyways. - Oh shut up, you dumb dick. 513 00:18:10,860 --> 00:18:13,300 I'm not gonna let them kill you. That is Nandor's privilege. 514 00:18:13,300 --> 00:18:15,300 - Now, come on, let's go. 515 00:18:16,330 --> 00:18:18,300 I told you, we need to put him down. 516 00:18:18,310 --> 00:18:19,750 That's not going to happen. 517 00:18:19,740 --> 00:18:21,340 He is coming with me, 518 00:18:21,350 --> 00:18:24,320 and his master will decide how to kill him. 519 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:27,260 If we release an abomination like that onto the street, 520 00:18:27,260 --> 00:18:28,930 I'm gonna lose my medical license. 522 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,770 Nadja! Watch out. 524 00:18:38,710 --> 00:18:40,210 Help me, you load. 525 00:18:41,790 --> 00:18:43,790 - Oh, whoa. - Good one, Guillermo! 526 00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:44,930 - Ow. - Yes! 527 00:18:44,930 --> 00:18:46,670 Nice one. 528 00:18:46,660 --> 00:18:48,460 - Ha! - Watch out! 532 00:18:54,610 --> 00:18:55,850 Don't touch her! 533 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,290 No! 535 00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,430 You're just a glorified vet. 536 00:19:02,430 --> 00:19:04,400 Guillermo! 537 00:19:04,400 --> 00:19:05,400 Nadja! 539 00:19:07,370 --> 00:19:09,580 Get away from her, you bitch! 540 00:19:09,580 --> 00:19:13,290 Oh! 541 00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:16,450 Thank you, Girerro. 542 00:19:16,460 --> 00:19:19,700 Oh. I think I might've got a little bit of poison in my face. 543 00:19:19,700 --> 00:19:21,500 Do I look okay? 544 00:19:21,500 --> 00:19:24,640 - Yeah. You look-- you look fine. - Good. 545 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:26,380 Now go and find your clothes and I'll... 547 00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:29,650 Let's go. 548 00:19:30,820 --> 00:19:33,730 Laszlo! Laszlo! 549 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:35,560 - What is it, man? - Help! 550 00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,660 Quick, to the laboratory. 551 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,710 - Laszlo, hurry. Please hurry. - All right. 552 00:19:41,710 --> 00:19:43,550 Now, brace yourself, fellas. 553 00:19:43,540 --> 00:19:44,810 Turning the machine 554 00:19:44,810 --> 00:19:46,780 - on. 556 00:19:49,860 --> 00:19:51,600 Is it working? Do you feel good? 558 00:19:52,930 --> 00:19:55,800 It hurt at first, but now I kind of like it. 559 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,400 - Yeah. 560 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,670 What exactly is the purpose of this machine? 561 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,490 It's just a simple energy transference device. 562 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,490 I originally built it to combat situational impotence, 563 00:20:05,490 --> 00:20:07,900 or whiskey dick, as you might call it. 564 00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:11,360 Oh, that makes sense, 'cause I'm getting a little 565 00:20:11,370 --> 00:20:13,040 tickle in my pickle. 566 00:20:13,040 --> 00:20:14,980 Well, that's an accident, 'cause I removed that aspect. 567 00:20:14,970 --> 00:20:16,870 - Must be the vibrations. - Could be. 568 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,980 Or could be the smell. 569 00:20:18,980 --> 00:20:20,920 I really like the smell of burning hair. 570 00:20:20,920 --> 00:20:21,990 What about you, Nandor? 571 00:20:21,990 --> 00:20:23,930 How are you finding it? 572 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:25,660 Oh, fuck. 573 00:20:31,570 --> 00:20:33,540 - Shit. Turning the machine off. 575 00:20:34,580 --> 00:20:35,880 Reverse the process, Laszlo. 576 00:20:35,880 --> 00:20:37,620 Well, I can't. It's too late, isn't it? 577 00:20:37,620 --> 00:20:39,490 - Look at him. Shit. - Laszlo! 578 00:20:39,490 --> 00:20:40,930 - Get fucking downstairs! - Shit. 579 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,690 Go ahead. I'll reenergize Nandor myself. 580 00:20:43,700 --> 00:20:44,870 - How? - Laszlo! - Well, if I can drain 581 00:20:44,870 --> 00:20:46,340 the energy from people, 582 00:20:46,340 --> 00:20:47,710 I sure as hell can put it back in them. 583 00:20:47,710 --> 00:20:49,410 - Just go. Trust me. - Get downstairs! 584 00:20:49,410 --> 00:20:50,810 - Coming, my darling. - Don't you "darling" me. 585 00:20:50,810 --> 00:20:52,710 Would I be wrong in sensing some... 586 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:54,890 Nandor? Hello. 587 00:20:54,890 --> 00:20:57,760 It's your boy, Colin Robinson. 588 00:20:57,760 --> 00:21:02,400 But I'm going to tell you my real name. It's... 589 00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:04,670 Arthur... 590 00:21:04,670 --> 00:21:06,070 Simon... 591 00:21:06,070 --> 00:21:07,470 Santino. 592 00:21:07,480 --> 00:21:09,920 But I-I had to change it 593 00:21:09,920 --> 00:21:12,630 because people would laugh when they realized 594 00:21:12,620 --> 00:21:16,030 that the initials spelled out "ass." 596 00:21:17,430 --> 00:21:18,970 Ass. 597 00:21:18,970 --> 00:21:21,440 Do you know who it was that pointed that out to me? 598 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:22,440 No. 599 00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,680 It was my ex-boyfriend, 600 00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:26,420 - Davy Crockett. 601 00:21:26,420 --> 00:21:27,920 At the Alamo. 602 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:30,560 - Really? - Yeah. 603 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:32,460 If-if you don't believe me, 604 00:21:32,460 --> 00:21:36,470 maybe this knife that Jim Bowie gave me will convince you. 605 00:21:36,470 --> 00:21:37,970 Ass. 606 00:21:40,440 --> 00:21:42,680 My darling,you need to calm down. - I mean, what the hell? 607 00:21:42,680 --> 00:21:44,990 - We have a little two-faced bitch, lying-behind-the-back 608 00:21:44,990 --> 00:21:46,960 vampire in the house and my husband doesn't think 609 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:48,600 - I need to know about it? - Cool it, 610 00:21:48,590 --> 00:21:50,430 my darling. I'm just trying to find a cure. 611 00:21:50,430 --> 00:21:51,700 All right? Now, 612 00:21:51,700 --> 00:21:52,740 if I can stop the transformation, 613 00:21:52,740 --> 00:21:54,910 maybe Nandor can turn Gizmo. 614 00:21:54,910 --> 00:21:58,120 - You are a worthless piece of big, wet skat?, Guillermo. - Yeah. 615 00:21:58,110 --> 00:22:00,080 When Nandor finds out, he's going to kill you. 616 00:22:00,080 --> 00:22:01,720 And then he's going to kill all of us. 617 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,020 - Mm. - And then he's going to kill himself. 618 00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:04,490 - Then don't tell him. - I'm not going 619 00:22:04,490 --> 00:22:05,860 to lie to my housemate to cover up 620 00:22:05,860 --> 00:22:07,600 - your treachery. - Just give me 621 00:22:07,600 --> 00:22:08,600 a chance to make this up. When I did this, I didn't-- 622 00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:09,940 Finally. Well, well, well. 623 00:22:09,940 --> 00:22:11,540 You've been gone all night. 624 00:22:11,540 --> 00:22:12,640 What, you can't even call? 625 00:22:12,640 --> 00:22:13,980 Sorry. 626 00:22:13,980 --> 00:22:15,380 They tried to put me down. 627 00:22:15,380 --> 00:22:16,580 What? Why? 628 00:22:16,580 --> 00:22:17,980 What did the doctor say? 629 00:22:17,990 --> 00:22:19,490 Uh, uh, uh... 631 00:22:20,820 --> 00:22:21,920 Yes? 632 00:22:23,130 --> 00:22:24,630 Guillermo is fine. 633 00:22:24,630 --> 00:22:26,570 Just your average weak-boned, 634 00:22:26,570 --> 00:22:28,070 - broken-foot familiar. 635 00:22:28,070 --> 00:22:31,180 I guess someone won't be cutting a rug anytime soon. 636 00:22:31,180 --> 00:22:32,580 Wait. 637 00:22:33,850 --> 00:22:35,550 Don't move. 640 00:22:42,500 --> 00:22:43,770 What... 641 00:22:43,770 --> 00:22:45,570 the hell... 642 00:22:45,570 --> 00:22:47,610 is this? 643 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:51,550 Hmm? 644 00:22:52,690 --> 00:22:53,860 Frog? 645 00:22:53,860 --> 00:22:55,700 Really? A frog? 646 00:22:55,690 --> 00:22:58,460 A frog that flies and has hair 647 00:22:58,470 --> 00:23:00,910 and looks kind of like you? 648 00:23:01,740 --> 00:23:04,210 Guillermo, do you think I am an idiot? 649 00:23:04,210 --> 00:23:05,750 Say no. 650 00:23:05,750 --> 00:23:06,790 No. 651 00:23:06,780 --> 00:23:07,980 That's right. 652 00:23:07,990 --> 00:23:09,590 Because this is 653 00:23:09,590 --> 00:23:11,130 precisely what happens 654 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:13,960 when a little birdy sneaks into this house, 655 00:23:13,960 --> 00:23:16,670 fucks a mouse, they have a child that grows up 656 00:23:16,670 --> 00:23:19,110 that then fucks a frog that looks like you. 657 00:23:19,110 --> 00:23:22,720 This is a direct result of your slacking. 658 00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:25,660 We are not running a fucking circus here. 659 00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:27,420 - Yeesh. 660 00:23:28,230 --> 00:23:30,170 Give him to me. 661 00:23:30,160 --> 00:23:31,730 You may have fooled him, 662 00:23:31,730 --> 00:23:34,800 'cause he has the IQ of a Russian toilet, 663 00:23:34,810 --> 00:23:36,810 but I know you're up to something, aren't you, 664 00:23:36,810 --> 00:23:38,650 you little sneaky Pete? 665 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:43,890 Okay, Colin, 666 00:23:43,890 --> 00:23:45,530 - if I tell you something-- - Psych. 667 00:23:45,530 --> 00:23:47,030 I couldn't give two squirts. 668 00:23:51,000 --> 00:23:53,140 ? It's in the blood, man ? 669 00:23:55,580 --> 00:23:57,780 ? It's in the blood ? 670 00:23:59,990 --> 00:24:02,160 ? It's in the blood, man ? 671 00:24:02,160 --> 00:24:03,260 ? It's in the blood... ? 672 00:24:03,260 --> 00:24:05,000 Gui... 673 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:08,510 - ller... mo. - Surely not. 674 00:24:08,510 --> 00:24:09,580 Gui... 675 00:24:09,580 --> 00:24:12,050 ller... mo. 677 00:24:13,220 --> 00:24:14,260 Yeah. 678 00:24:14,250 --> 00:24:15,650 Carry on. 679 00:24:15,650 --> 00:24:17,020 ? It's in the blood, man ? 680 00:24:18,020 --> 00:24:19,960 ? It's in the blood, man ? 681 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:21,960 ? It's in the blood, man ? 682 00:24:21,970 --> 00:24:24,010 ? Get it or not ? 683 00:24:25,010 --> 00:24:26,580 ? It's in the blood, man ? 684 00:24:26,580 --> 00:24:29,590 ? It's in the blood, man ? 685 00:24:29,580 --> 00:24:30,680 ? It's in the blood, man ? 686 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,020 ? Tell him or not ? 687 00:24:43,010 --> 00:24:45,250 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? If you catch the cure ? 688 00:24:45,250 --> 00:24:48,020 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? If you catch the cure... ? 689 00:24:48,020 --> 00:24:52,000 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? You can tell without knowing ? 690 00:24:51,990 --> 00:24:54,230 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? If you catch the cure ? 691 00:24:54,230 --> 00:24:57,000 - ? It's in the blood, man ? - ? If you catch the cure... ? 692 00:24:57,000 --> 00:24:59,000 ? It's in the blood, man. ? 693 00:24:59,010 --> 00:25:04,950 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 47899

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.