Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:14,297 --> 00:00:15,732
So let me get this straight.
2
00:00:15,831 --> 00:00:17,968
You guys are actually mad
that I killed Professor Pyg?
3
00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:19,836
We don't kill people.
4
00:00:19,936 --> 00:00:21,438
There's always another way.
5
00:00:21,538 --> 00:00:23,068
You would rather
have me stand by
6
00:00:23,167 --> 00:00:25,375
while Nightwing dies
a brutal buttless death?
7
00:00:25,470 --> 00:00:26,776
Yes, yes.
8
00:00:26,876 --> 00:00:28,745
Gotham would mourn me
and my glistening apple bottom.
9
00:00:28,844 --> 00:00:33,650
But the number one rule
in this family is "no killing."
10
00:00:33,749 --> 00:00:36,653
Well, then, that's on you guys
for not telling me.
11
00:00:44,127 --> 00:00:45,362
Hmm.
12
00:00:46,729 --> 00:00:48,298
You know, I think
it's one of those things
13
00:00:48,397 --> 00:00:49,766
that you never notice
until it's pointed out,
14
00:00:49,865 --> 00:00:52,302
and now I can never
not notice it, so, my bad.
15
00:00:52,401 --> 00:00:54,939
{\an8}♪ Don't kill, no killing ♪
16
00:00:55,038 --> 00:00:57,807
{\an8}♪ Don't kill, no killing ♪
17
00:00:57,902 --> 00:00:59,143
Songs stick in this old bean.
18
00:00:59,242 --> 00:01:00,677
You should have started
with the fish.
19
00:01:08,446 --> 00:01:10,520
{\an8}We're live with the mayor
and Poison Ivy.
20
00:01:10,619 --> 00:01:12,990
{\an8}Girl, what the heck
is going on?
21
00:01:13,089 --> 00:01:14,724
{\an8}Oh, girl.
22
00:01:14,824 --> 00:01:17,294
{\an8}Um, so I'm, uh,
leading an initiative
23
00:01:17,393 --> 00:01:21,465
{\an8}to replace all the male trees
in Gotham with female trees.
24
00:01:21,564 --> 00:01:25,935
{\an8}Big J, as a male,
are you gonna stand for that?
25
00:01:26,036 --> 00:01:27,704
{\an8}Of course, Tawny.
26
00:01:27,803 --> 00:01:29,873
{\an8}It's female trees
that produce fruit
27
00:01:29,972 --> 00:01:33,277
{\an8}and free fruit for the people
is peachy keen.
28
00:01:35,043 --> 00:01:37,982
{\an8}But since this is a co-pro
with the Legion of Doom,
29
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:41,618
{\an8}I'd appreciate a heads-up
on what the evil twist is.
30
00:01:41,718 --> 00:01:45,822
{\an8}Ooh, ooh. I mean, give us
the juice with extra pulp.
31
00:01:45,923 --> 00:01:47,224
{\an8}No twist.
32
00:01:47,324 --> 00:01:48,358
{\an8}You know,
we're just a corporation
33
00:01:48,458 --> 00:01:49,893
{\an8}endearing itself to the city.
34
00:01:49,993 --> 00:01:51,728
{\an8}So, whoo!
35
00:01:51,827 --> 00:01:53,863
{\an8}You can't leave me
out of the twist!
36
00:01:53,964 --> 00:01:54,999
{\an8}I'm the mayor.
37
00:01:55,098 --> 00:01:56,033
{\an8}Ivy!
38
00:01:56,132 --> 00:01:57,234
Yo!
39
00:01:57,334 --> 00:01:59,103
Ivy's not visiting
with spectators.
40
00:01:59,202 --> 00:02:01,205
Nora, it's me, come on, Harley,
41
00:02:01,303 --> 00:02:04,708
the person who convinced you
not to get a neck tattoo
that said "queef queen."
42
00:02:04,807 --> 00:02:06,576
{\an8}I don't see you on the list.
43
00:02:06,675 --> 00:02:09,046
{\an8}That's a Mama Macaroni's
takeout menu.
44
00:02:09,145 --> 00:02:10,447
{\an8}Wait, garlic nubs are back?
45
00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,983
{\an8}Ivy, Mama Mac's
for date night?
46
00:02:13,082 --> 00:02:14,618
Mwah--
47
00:02:14,717 --> 00:02:16,486
What are you d...
No, you can't blow kisses
to villains.
48
00:02:16,586 --> 00:02:18,655
Why are you even
at an LOD event?
49
00:02:18,754 --> 00:02:21,959
I am here romantically,
not professionally,
50
00:02:22,058 --> 00:02:23,827
but I've got my crimey eyes
wide open, okay?
51
00:02:23,927 --> 00:02:25,462
I just gave
a very menacing look
52
00:02:25,561 --> 00:02:26,796
to a guy who almost littered.
53
00:02:26,896 --> 00:02:29,399
I am totally
representing the Fam. See?
54
00:02:29,499 --> 00:02:30,900
You have to earn
your Bat outfit.
55
00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,270
You can't just go buy one
at a Halloween store.
56
00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:34,939
Well, this is from a sex shop, okay?
57
00:02:35,038 --> 00:02:35,973
Not okay.
58
00:02:36,072 --> 00:02:37,341
I'm getting texts about you
59
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:38,642
when we were this close
60
00:02:38,741 --> 00:02:40,610
to luring Drunkula
out of his coffin.
61
00:02:40,704 --> 00:02:43,080
You know, this is on us
for never properly
training you.
62
00:02:43,179 --> 00:02:44,614
Oh, cool, cool, okay.
63
00:02:44,714 --> 00:02:46,350
Am... Am... Am I gonna train
with a pack of wolves?
64
00:02:46,449 --> 00:02:48,118
Take a vow of silence
and live with monks
in the mountains
65
00:02:48,218 --> 00:02:49,619
learning to gossip nonverbally?
66
00:02:49,719 --> 00:02:52,022
I have to be
Alfred's assistant?
67
00:02:52,122 --> 00:02:54,891
It's the best way
to reshape your Bat instincts.
68
00:02:54,991 --> 00:02:57,494
You'll get to know
the Bat Family
from the ground up.
69
00:02:57,593 --> 00:02:59,964
I am so excited for you, babe.
70
00:03:00,063 --> 00:03:01,098
Don't you "babe" me.
71
00:03:01,197 --> 00:03:02,967
We gotta go.
72
00:03:03,065 --> 00:03:05,502
Rainbow Raider's taken over
the Gotham Candy Expo.
73
00:03:05,601 --> 00:03:07,771
God, that sounds awesome!
74
00:03:07,871 --> 00:03:09,234
To stop.
75
00:03:09,337 --> 00:03:12,776
Don't worry, we'll have plenty
of our own excitement here.
76
00:03:12,876 --> 00:03:13,777
Come.
77
00:03:19,049 --> 00:03:20,750
Yeah.
78
00:03:20,850 --> 00:03:24,188
Let's begin by learning
the proper way
to steep Earl Grey.
79
00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,722
I'm Harley fucking Quinn.
80
00:03:25,822 --> 00:03:28,725
There's nothing I can learn
from a saggy old butler.
81
00:03:33,830 --> 00:03:35,799
Nora, Harley and I
were just making garganelli
82
00:03:35,898 --> 00:03:37,667
and the handle popped off
the pasta maker.
83
00:03:37,766 --> 00:03:39,736
Could you just call the company
and get it fixed?
84
00:03:39,837 --> 00:03:40,737
Probably not.
85
00:03:40,837 --> 00:03:41,671
{\an8}Nora.
86
00:03:46,576 --> 00:03:48,273
Why, hello, Nora.
87
00:03:49,512 --> 00:03:51,115
Oh, dear.
88
00:03:51,214 --> 00:03:54,952
That was an intentional goof
to liven your spirits.
89
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:57,421
Bane, do you happen to know
any big, strong men
90
00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,689
who'd want to help me
with a big, strong task?
91
00:03:59,790 --> 00:04:03,288
I do know one. It is me.
92
00:04:03,393 --> 00:04:05,095
Great.
93
00:04:05,194 --> 00:04:07,397
I need you to fix
the handle of this pasta maker
for Ivy ASAP.
94
00:04:07,496 --> 00:04:10,100
Pasta maker!
We meet again!
95
00:04:10,200 --> 00:04:11,835
I will handle it.
96
00:04:11,935 --> 00:04:14,404
Pun intended.
97
00:04:14,503 --> 00:04:17,374
Now that Operation Lady Trees
has begun,
98
00:04:17,473 --> 00:04:20,244
let's-- Let's discuss
the evil twist.
99
00:04:22,011 --> 00:04:24,481
Wayne Pharmaceuticals
has been destroying
100
00:04:24,581 --> 00:04:27,417
baby plants for use
in their medications.
101
00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:30,920
So now,
we are going to destroy them.
102
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,190
I just got chills
down my stem.
103
00:04:33,289 --> 00:04:35,459
Back in the 1930s,
104
00:04:35,558 --> 00:04:38,323
Gotham City only planted
male trees
105
00:04:38,422 --> 00:04:41,165
because they didn't drop
"gunky girl stuff."
106
00:04:41,264 --> 00:04:43,233
But male trees cause allergies
107
00:04:43,333 --> 00:04:47,071
because they are always
jizzing pollen everywhere.
108
00:04:47,165 --> 00:04:49,406
So if we remove all male trees,
109
00:04:49,505 --> 00:04:52,742
{\an8}we destroy
the allergy medicine market
110
00:04:52,841 --> 00:04:55,145
{\an8}and bankrupt
Wayne Pharmaceuticals.
111
00:04:55,244 --> 00:04:59,249
Okay,
why not just rain fire
down upon them with a bomb?
112
00:04:59,349 --> 00:05:02,819
Volcana, would you please
switch seats with Firefly?
113
00:05:02,918 --> 00:05:06,690
Thank you so much.
I won't let you down, ma'am.
114
00:05:06,789 --> 00:05:10,995
Wow. Everything's so much
bigger and brighter up here.
115
00:05:12,661 --> 00:05:15,065
Oh, God. Sorry, sorry, sorry.
116
00:05:15,164 --> 00:05:18,402
Nora, where...
Where were we with the rest
of the tree removal permits?
117
00:05:18,501 --> 00:05:19,603
The mayor won't approve them.
118
00:05:19,702 --> 00:05:20,570
Something about hating you?
119
00:05:20,671 --> 00:05:22,139
Fucking purple ball sack.
120
00:05:22,237 --> 00:05:26,843
It would be my greatest honor
to burn Mayor Joker alive
121
00:05:26,943 --> 00:05:28,045
for you.
122
00:05:28,145 --> 00:05:30,447
Hey, I got a doll thing
for a Poison Ivan.
123
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:35,986
"B... Break... Break
the glass ceiling, bitch!"
124
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:39,456
Jesus, didn't we move past
this kind of imagery
post Hillary?
125
00:05:41,057 --> 00:05:43,827
"The Evil Women
in Business Collective
126
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:47,464
"invites you to its monthly
luncheon this afternoon."
127
00:05:47,563 --> 00:05:49,333
EWBC! My girl made it.
128
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,735
No, networking is, like,
my personal hell.
129
00:05:51,834 --> 00:05:54,238
Yes, you are going, missy.
This is a big-ass deal.
130
00:05:54,337 --> 00:05:57,541
Also, you need some peers
who are more at your level.
131
00:05:57,641 --> 00:05:58,808
You... You feel me?
132
00:06:00,042 --> 00:06:02,812
All right, everyone.
I have to go, ugh,
133
00:06:02,911 --> 00:06:05,915
accept the support
of other women.
134
00:06:06,016 --> 00:06:07,517
Fucking, yes!
135
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:09,019
Hey, I... I'm King Shark.
136
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,688
I'm gonna be
heading up IT.
137
00:06:11,788 --> 00:06:14,624
Me and my mostly
platonic wife, Tabitha,
138
00:06:14,723 --> 00:06:18,628
are expecting nine babies
any day now.
139
00:06:18,729 --> 00:06:20,530
On a totally unrelated note,
140
00:06:20,631 --> 00:06:22,732
I love parties.
141
00:06:28,971 --> 00:06:31,408
Fine, I'll throw you
a baby shower.
142
00:06:31,507 --> 00:06:35,980
A baby shower?
For me? Oh.
143
00:06:36,078 --> 00:06:38,348
Uh, sent you the link
to my registry.
144
00:06:47,857 --> 00:06:50,727
Come on. No, bad car, bad car.
145
00:06:50,827 --> 00:06:52,262
Now, not to backseat polish,
146
00:06:52,362 --> 00:06:55,899
but remember, upsie downsie
then side to sidesie.
147
00:06:55,999 --> 00:06:57,501
Gah!
148
00:07:03,539 --> 00:07:05,075
I don't wanna make tea.
149
00:07:05,174 --> 00:07:07,444
I don't wanna polish silver
or de-skin chicken breasts.
150
00:07:07,544 --> 00:07:09,179
Master Bruce liked to smell it.
151
00:07:09,279 --> 00:07:12,316
A little treat without
the cholesterol.
152
00:07:12,415 --> 00:07:15,352
I joined the Bat Family
to crush skulls
and help people.
153
00:07:15,451 --> 00:07:17,988
Not be stuck
in a basement with you
chicken sniffers.
154
00:07:18,088 --> 00:07:18,788
Hey, you ready?
155
00:07:18,889 --> 00:07:20,724
Oh, my God, finally. Yes.
156
00:07:20,823 --> 00:07:23,060
Oh, sorry. I was talking
to the batarangs.
157
00:07:23,159 --> 00:07:25,362
I see now how I could have
phrased that differently.
158
00:07:25,462 --> 00:07:26,463
Ugh.
159
00:07:26,563 --> 00:07:28,565
Can you just sign my time card?
160
00:07:28,664 --> 00:07:31,935
I'm gonna go scream
in the shower until EOD.
161
00:07:32,035 --> 00:07:34,704
Cheaters only cheat themselves.
162
00:07:34,805 --> 00:07:37,241
Gah!
163
00:07:37,340 --> 00:07:38,808
Clink, clink, ladies.
164
00:07:38,907 --> 00:07:41,311
I'm Veronica Cale,
social chair of EWBC,
165
00:07:41,409 --> 00:07:46,383
and I want to start off
by welcoming ourselves
with a round of applause.
166
00:07:46,483 --> 00:07:49,753
All right, enough.
Let's not damage
those business manis.
167
00:07:49,852 --> 00:07:53,090
It brings me much joy
to announce some new faces.
168
00:07:53,184 --> 00:07:54,658
Livewire, Meg Whitman
169
00:07:54,757 --> 00:08:01,398
and Poison Ivy,
the first lady CEO
of the Legion of Doom.
170
00:08:12,474 --> 00:08:16,146
I'd like to give some
welcome back snaps
to Talia al Ghul,
171
00:08:16,246 --> 00:08:18,482
who missed
our last decade of luncheons
172
00:08:18,580 --> 00:08:22,619
and my wedding
while she was attending
to business in the Middle East.
173
00:08:22,719 --> 00:08:24,121
"Attending to business"
174
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:27,157
is code for overthrowing
foreign governments.
175
00:08:29,125 --> 00:08:30,961
Hmm.
176
00:08:31,060 --> 00:08:33,063
If you look in your tote bags,
you'll see I've brought you
bizfluencer samples
177
00:08:33,163 --> 00:08:36,366
of my company's
new youth serum, Lazaru.
178
00:08:36,466 --> 00:08:37,667
And my business card.
179
00:08:37,767 --> 00:08:39,303
Call me if the burning
doesn't stop.
180
00:08:40,370 --> 00:08:41,205
Ow.
181
00:08:41,304 --> 00:08:42,739
Razor-sharp edges.
182
00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:45,142
Ooh, here come the salads.
183
00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:49,246
So, Ivy, sounds like
you're crushing it at the LOD.
184
00:08:49,346 --> 00:08:50,880
Oh, um, you know,
185
00:08:50,981 --> 00:08:53,850
everything's not
fully crushed yet.
186
00:08:53,949 --> 00:08:55,285
I think I'm gonna
have to kill the mayor.
187
00:08:55,385 --> 00:08:57,121
You know, he's a real,
real thorn in my side.
188
00:08:57,220 --> 00:09:00,524
Plant humor.
Look at you.
189
00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:03,493
Killing a low-level politician
is never worth the effort.
190
00:09:03,592 --> 00:09:06,363
I still have central air issues
in my Maldives condo
191
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:09,299
despite beheading
four consecutive
HOA presidents.
192
00:09:09,397 --> 00:09:12,102
Yeah, I mean, I'm not...
I'm not letting Joker
in on my plan, so...
193
00:09:12,201 --> 00:09:15,072
Mayor Joker
is a miserable cockroach
scouring your kitchen floor.
194
00:09:15,170 --> 00:09:17,707
All he needs is a crumb
to make him feel important.
195
00:09:17,807 --> 00:09:19,309
He'll still be a roach.
196
00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:20,978
But he'll be your roach.
197
00:09:21,811 --> 00:09:23,147
More rose?
198
00:09:23,246 --> 00:09:25,749
Does everyone need
my approval on everything?
199
00:09:25,849 --> 00:09:27,217
Just pour.
200
00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:30,187
Actually, do you have a...
A... A Cab Sav kind of--
201
00:09:30,287 --> 00:09:31,855
Rose is an outdoor wine.
202
00:09:31,954 --> 00:09:35,325
Right? I know. I was like,
"What am I,
on a picnic over here?"
203
00:09:37,126 --> 00:09:39,196
Ugh, time to deal
with the reason
I came back to Gotham.
204
00:09:39,296 --> 00:09:41,999
My real number.
Call me anytime.
205
00:09:48,904 --> 00:09:53,677
I swear to God,
if that's another box of linens
I have to iron...
206
00:09:53,776 --> 00:09:55,079
Open up, Alfred.
207
00:09:57,614 --> 00:10:00,150
Well, who is that
cashmere goddess?
208
00:10:00,249 --> 00:10:02,152
Oh, lovely.
209
00:10:02,252 --> 00:10:03,887
Talia al Ghul.
210
00:10:03,986 --> 00:10:06,756
Eons ago, when Bruce
and I were entangled...
211
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,292
...in our passionate
love affair,
212
00:10:08,391 --> 00:10:10,627
he appointed me conservator
of Wayne Enterprises.
213
00:10:10,726 --> 00:10:12,729
He's in jail.
The stock plummeted.
214
00:10:12,828 --> 00:10:14,498
So, here I am.
215
00:10:14,597 --> 00:10:18,868
Oh, wow. You smell
like those expensive pears
wrapped in foil.
216
00:10:18,967 --> 00:10:22,606
Bruce's vigilante cosplay hobby
has pulled funds
from important ventures
217
00:10:22,705 --> 00:10:25,509
like creating shell companies
that control shell companies
218
00:10:25,608 --> 00:10:28,245
that fund wars
that determine world politics.
219
00:10:28,344 --> 00:10:29,279
So from now on,
220
00:10:29,379 --> 00:10:31,915
all of your Bat bullshit
goes through me.
221
00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:34,118
And there will be cuts.
222
00:10:34,217 --> 00:10:36,453
Thanks, but I've got
everything under control here.
223
00:10:36,552 --> 00:10:39,289
Actually, I've got
everything under control.
224
00:10:39,388 --> 00:10:41,686
Think of me
as your new Bat Daddy.
225
00:10:41,790 --> 00:10:43,460
Hello.
Harley Quinn, new member.
226
00:10:43,559 --> 00:10:46,230
Do you have the power
to approve people
for active Bat duty?
227
00:10:46,329 --> 00:10:47,264
No.
228
00:10:47,364 --> 00:10:48,365
Ugh!
229
00:10:48,459 --> 00:10:49,833
Were the scones not perfect?
230
00:10:49,932 --> 00:10:51,101
What else do you want from me?
231
00:10:51,200 --> 00:10:52,869
Harley, you still
have a lot to learn.
232
00:10:54,771 --> 00:10:57,474
Will you be
taking care of your son
now that you've returned?
233
00:10:57,574 --> 00:10:58,742
Yes.
234
00:10:58,841 --> 00:11:01,078
Where is my handsome
baby boy, huh?
235
00:11:01,177 --> 00:11:02,179
{\an8}I'm right here, Mother.
236
00:11:02,279 --> 00:11:04,614
Damian? Out of diapers already?
237
00:11:04,715 --> 00:11:05,749
How long has it been?
238
00:11:07,183 --> 00:11:09,086
Benicio's going to be
so jealous
239
00:11:09,185 --> 00:11:11,121
I got to sit in the LOD box.
240
00:11:11,221 --> 00:11:14,491
You know, he leads
his rec team in assists.
241
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,060
Like a young John Stockton.
242
00:11:16,159 --> 00:11:19,229
Oh, yeah.
I, like, love, like, hooping.
243
00:11:19,329 --> 00:11:22,666
You know, just, like, looking
at the ball and, like...
244
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:26,603
So,
circling back about this
whole, like, permit snafu...
245
00:11:26,703 --> 00:11:29,339
Um, about
your plan's evil twist?
246
00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:32,509
Oh, well, obviously, like,
I can't tell you everything,
247
00:11:32,609 --> 00:11:33,944
but...
248
00:11:34,043 --> 00:11:36,313
If the mayor's office
approves the permits,
249
00:11:36,412 --> 00:11:39,249
we can replace every
male tree by Wednesday
and then we'll--
250
00:11:39,349 --> 00:11:42,419
Wednesday, of course.
251
00:11:42,518 --> 00:11:44,521
Hit 'em in the middle
of the week.
252
00:11:44,621 --> 00:11:45,889
So evil.
253
00:11:45,988 --> 00:11:48,492
God, it feels good to be
on the inside again.
254
00:11:48,592 --> 00:11:50,260
Here.
255
00:11:50,360 --> 00:11:53,130
Happy to play my part
in your devilish scheme.
256
00:11:53,230 --> 00:11:56,761
On Wednesday.
257
00:11:58,067 --> 00:12:02,072
The tagline is "Your mailman
will appreciate it!"
258
00:12:02,172 --> 00:12:04,074
to encourage people
to ship more
259
00:12:04,173 --> 00:12:06,043
by preying on their love
of their mailman.
260
00:12:07,377 --> 00:12:08,745
One moment.
261
00:12:08,844 --> 00:12:10,514
The cockroach
gave me the permits.
262
00:12:10,614 --> 00:12:11,815
Sorry, who is this?
263
00:12:11,914 --> 00:12:13,917
Oh, sorry. Um, this...
It's... It's Ivy.
264
00:12:14,017 --> 00:12:15,685
I'm fucking with you, Ivy.
265
00:12:15,786 --> 00:12:17,387
Of course it worked.
266
00:12:17,487 --> 00:12:19,856
He'll never notice
you've got your hand
so far up his ass
267
00:12:19,955 --> 00:12:22,592
that you're playing
his vocal chords
like an upright bass.
268
00:12:22,692 --> 00:12:25,529
Thank you,
Talia, seriously, I d--
269
00:12:25,628 --> 00:12:27,597
You know, I almost didn't come
to that fucking luncheon?
270
00:12:27,698 --> 00:12:28,898
Because of the dollhouse?
271
00:12:28,999 --> 00:12:31,201
Yes, because of the d--
It was so--
272
00:12:31,294 --> 00:12:33,798
An embarrassing display
of outdated
third-wave feminism?
273
00:12:33,904 --> 00:12:37,007
Okay, so, exactly.
274
00:12:37,107 --> 00:12:39,076
The EWBC women
aren't intellectuals,
275
00:12:39,176 --> 00:12:41,211
but they've all succeeded
in the world of men.
276
00:12:41,311 --> 00:12:44,181
I respect that.
And the tote bags are fun.
277
00:12:44,280 --> 00:12:46,050
I have to go. But let's revel
278
00:12:46,148 --> 00:12:48,585
in the power
of this conversation
for at least one deep breath.
279
00:12:51,153 --> 00:12:53,357
I hate it. You're all fired.
280
00:12:56,960 --> 00:12:59,063
Clean this up.
281
00:13:03,933 --> 00:13:05,702
Gah! Out of my way, Alfred!
282
00:13:05,801 --> 00:13:08,238
I finished my chores
and now I'm off to fight crime.
283
00:13:08,338 --> 00:13:10,907
{\an8}Step aside
or I'll have to fuck you up.
284
00:13:11,007 --> 00:13:12,576
I wish a bitch would try.
285
00:13:12,676 --> 00:13:14,478
Ah! Why?
286
00:13:20,583 --> 00:13:23,320
Miss Harley. I understand
why Master Wayne chose you,
287
00:13:23,419 --> 00:13:25,122
but the other people
in this manor
288
00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:27,024
don't do well
with impulsivity.
289
00:13:30,159 --> 00:13:32,562
You have to show
you can do things their way.
290
00:13:32,662 --> 00:13:34,098
Be a bitch.
291
00:13:34,197 --> 00:13:35,499
Yeah, I tried that
292
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,501
and I just got maced
with all-surface cleaner.
293
00:13:37,600 --> 00:13:41,571
Yes, but I'm talking
about B-I-T-C-H.
294
00:13:41,665 --> 00:13:43,507
{\an8}Breathe. Identify the problem.
295
00:13:43,606 --> 00:13:45,642
Tea break.
Consider your options.
296
00:13:45,742 --> 00:13:46,643
Handle it.
297
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,112
BITCH.
298
00:13:48,211 --> 00:13:49,980
I use it when I'm deciding
whether or not
299
00:13:50,078 --> 00:13:54,518
to give the long goodbye
to any of Master Bruce's
unsuitable paramours.
300
00:13:54,618 --> 00:13:56,686
Huh. Just be a bitch.
301
00:13:56,786 --> 00:13:58,088
Thanks, Alfie. Wait a minute.
302
00:13:58,188 --> 00:14:00,457
Didn't you say shortcuts
are the same as cheating?
303
00:14:00,551 --> 00:14:01,858
Are you dying?
304
00:14:01,958 --> 00:14:03,160
In a way.
305
00:14:03,260 --> 00:14:04,861
Talia is on the brink
of firing me.
306
00:14:04,961 --> 00:14:06,330
And who can blame her?
307
00:14:06,429 --> 00:14:08,465
My work has lost meaning
with Master Bruce in jail.
308
00:14:08,559 --> 00:14:09,566
But don't worry about me.
309
00:14:09,666 --> 00:14:12,236
This old goat
always lands on his feet.
310
00:14:12,335 --> 00:14:14,438
If you die,
can I have your watch?
311
00:14:16,606 --> 00:14:20,044
There's the CEO
with the Most-EO.
312
00:14:20,143 --> 00:14:21,311
Ready for date night?
313
00:14:21,411 --> 00:14:22,079
Mwah.
314
00:14:22,178 --> 00:14:23,547
Wait a minute.
315
00:14:23,646 --> 00:14:25,782
Did you just have
two vegan Guardsmen dogs
316
00:14:25,881 --> 00:14:28,085
with relish and a side
of shoestring potatoes?
317
00:14:28,184 --> 00:14:29,987
I'm sorry,
but I had to go to a game
318
00:14:30,086 --> 00:14:32,756
because my new business friend
said it would fix
my permit problems.
319
00:14:32,856 --> 00:14:34,324
And honestly, babe, it did.
320
00:14:34,423 --> 00:14:37,661
You made a business friend?
Ives, this is huge. Aw!
321
00:14:37,761 --> 00:14:38,728
Uh, I know--
322
00:14:38,828 --> 00:14:40,297
Wait a minute.
323
00:14:40,396 --> 00:14:42,399
Did you eat a brisket burrito
extra guac, no salsa?
324
00:14:42,500 --> 00:14:43,667
Busted.
325
00:14:43,766 --> 00:14:45,269
This conservator lady
from Wayne Enterprises,
326
00:14:45,368 --> 00:14:47,404
Talia something,
bought us a bunch of burritos.
327
00:14:47,503 --> 00:14:50,674
Hang on,
Talia runs Wayne Enterprises?
328
00:14:50,774 --> 00:14:52,709
Shit. [loudly] Shit.
329
00:14:52,808 --> 00:14:54,744
It's just, there's a conflict
of interest in...
330
00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:56,113
You know, I... I don't know.
331
00:14:56,212 --> 00:14:57,481
It's more of, like,
a villain thing. I--
332
00:14:57,581 --> 00:14:58,482
Okay.
333
00:14:58,581 --> 00:14:59,916
Let me help kick
some ideas around.
334
00:15:00,016 --> 00:15:01,685
You got a whiteboard
up in here?
335
00:15:01,784 --> 00:15:03,120
No, honey.
Remember, we can't help
each other work. You d...
336
00:15:03,219 --> 00:15:04,454
But thank you. I... I just...
337
00:15:04,554 --> 00:15:05,755
I... I'll meet you
back at home, okay?
338
00:15:05,856 --> 00:15:07,691
Right. No prob.
339
00:15:07,790 --> 00:15:09,793
Yeah, I'll just draw a bath
and text some funny GIFs
to my work friend.
340
00:15:13,863 --> 00:15:15,665
Wh... Frank, what do I do?
341
00:15:15,765 --> 00:15:18,668
First, I recommend
not waking me up
when I'm in REM,
342
00:15:18,768 --> 00:15:21,638
and second,
what do you do about what?
343
00:15:24,141 --> 00:15:26,476
"Derived from young ginseng"?
344
00:15:28,344 --> 00:15:30,514
Ugh! Never mind. I'm good.
345
00:15:30,613 --> 00:15:32,749
I'm not.
You woke me up for nothing!
346
00:15:32,850 --> 00:15:34,684
You damn near uprooted me!
347
00:15:34,779 --> 00:15:37,587
Huh?
348
00:15:37,687 --> 00:15:40,090
♪ Mozzarella linguine ♪
349
00:15:40,188 --> 00:15:42,559
{\an8}-♪ Pe-pe-paroni, ca-ta-to ♪
350
00:15:42,659 --> 00:15:44,261
We'll be with you, presto.
351
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:45,829
Hi.
352
00:15:45,929 --> 00:15:48,098
Hello, yes.
353
00:15:48,198 --> 00:15:50,767
Cool and normal.
354
00:15:52,970 --> 00:15:54,638
Achoo!
355
00:15:54,737 --> 00:15:57,707
Excuse me.
Seasonal allergies.
356
00:15:57,807 --> 00:16:00,978
What size pacifier
would you recommend
for a 12-year-old boy?
357
00:16:01,078 --> 00:16:02,912
What?
358
00:16:03,013 --> 00:16:04,414
All right.
Haul it away, boys.
359
00:16:04,514 --> 00:16:07,051
That there's
the last male tree in the city.
360
00:16:10,549 --> 00:16:11,555
She did what?
361
00:16:11,654 --> 00:16:14,992
Huh?
I can breathe.
362
00:16:15,092 --> 00:16:17,094
I'm me again!
363
00:16:17,193 --> 00:16:19,163
Won't be
needing this anymore.
364
00:16:19,262 --> 00:16:21,398
Hey, hey.
We don't need any more.
365
00:16:24,134 --> 00:16:27,032
Well,
the man-shark of the hour.
366
00:16:27,136 --> 00:16:30,035
Congrats on your
impending little one.
367
00:16:30,140 --> 00:16:31,608
I can't believe
368
00:16:31,707 --> 00:16:35,012
my brand new coworkers
threw me this thoughtful party
369
00:16:35,111 --> 00:16:37,042
without any prompting at all.
370
00:16:37,146 --> 00:16:38,949
Oh, Nora.
371
00:16:39,048 --> 00:16:43,048
So what do you
think of the shower
and the person who planned it?
372
00:16:50,027 --> 00:16:53,163
Damn your
thoughtful touches, Bane!
373
00:16:53,263 --> 00:16:54,664
Did I hear
374
00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,700
- you're responsible
for this fete?
- Yeah.
375
00:16:56,800 --> 00:16:57,867
Captain Cold.
376
00:16:57,968 --> 00:16:59,669
-"Ice" to meet you.
- Nora.
377
00:16:59,769 --> 00:17:03,068
Ooh,
your hand is freezing.
378
00:17:12,182 --> 00:17:14,051
Curse the warm blood
in my veins.
379
00:17:14,150 --> 00:17:16,853
Grazie for holding.
Be with you, presto.
380
00:17:20,756 --> 00:17:22,526
...into my own hands.
381
00:17:24,227 --> 00:17:26,696
Yes. Hello, AirClegg?
382
00:17:26,796 --> 00:17:31,235
I demand one ticket
to Italia, presto.
383
00:17:32,201 --> 00:17:33,503
Yes, I can hold.
384
00:17:38,574 --> 00:17:40,310
You should
tighten up security.
385
00:17:40,409 --> 00:17:41,345
I walked right in.
386
00:17:41,444 --> 00:17:43,380
Jesus, you have a soft step.
387
00:17:43,480 --> 00:17:46,483
If I knew I was going to be
stabbed in the back today,
388
00:17:46,583 --> 00:17:48,518
I would not have worn cashmere.
389
00:17:48,619 --> 00:17:49,819
I'm sorry.
390
00:17:51,354 --> 00:17:52,489
Actually, no.
391
00:17:52,588 --> 00:17:53,991
I'm only sorry
that I said sorry.
392
00:17:54,090 --> 00:17:56,260
You tanked my fucking company.
393
00:17:57,961 --> 00:17:59,396
{\an8}Voila.
394
00:17:59,495 --> 00:18:01,465
{\an8}I might finally be operating
with someone on my level.
395
00:18:01,564 --> 00:18:03,033
Wait a minute.
396
00:18:03,133 --> 00:18:04,068
So, you're not mad?
397
00:18:04,167 --> 00:18:05,602
I'm furious.
398
00:18:05,702 --> 00:18:07,637
Which, like all feelings,
is a temporary state
399
00:18:07,736 --> 00:18:09,974
and generally
leads to innovation.
400
00:18:10,073 --> 00:18:12,409
Here. A token of my respect.
401
00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,617
Cannot believe we're taking
Nightwing's boots
to be reheeled
402
00:18:20,716 --> 00:18:23,687
when you should be
baking a file into a scone
for Bruce.
403
00:18:23,786 --> 00:18:25,289
Well, let's put that
aside for now.
404
00:18:25,388 --> 00:18:27,457
I want to see
if you can take that corner
405
00:18:27,557 --> 00:18:29,193
at 60 miles per hour.
406
00:18:29,292 --> 00:18:30,560
Are you nuts?
407
00:18:30,659 --> 00:18:32,462
That is definitely
against Bat Fam rules.
408
00:18:32,562 --> 00:18:35,132
Following rules is like
folding a fitted sheet.
409
00:18:35,232 --> 00:18:36,833
Sometimes you do it.
410
00:18:36,933 --> 00:18:39,803
But other times,
you stuff it in a drawer
and say, "Close enough."
411
00:18:39,902 --> 00:18:42,772
You're a real crumpet, Alfie,
you know that?
412
00:18:46,242 --> 00:18:48,112
Floor it, Miss Harley.
413
00:19:03,794 --> 00:19:04,828
Whoo!
414
00:19:17,874 --> 00:19:18,943
Ha!
415
00:19:21,377 --> 00:19:22,779
My, it's getting nippy.
416
00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:25,515
Friendship beanies.
417
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:31,255
{\an8}Okay, last errand.
418
00:19:31,349 --> 00:19:33,357
I just have to put a gun
in a safe deposit box.
419
00:19:33,456 --> 00:19:34,291
Back in a jiff.
420
00:19:34,391 --> 00:19:36,493
See ya, loser.
421
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,563
{\an8}Love ya, Ive. Damn,
my lady makes a juicy plum.
422
00:19:43,266 --> 00:19:46,303
Hey, same hat. We're hat twins.
423
00:19:46,403 --> 00:19:47,972
Ugh, okay? Uh, rude.
424
00:19:52,643 --> 00:19:55,012
Wait a minute. BITCH.
425
00:19:55,111 --> 00:19:57,281
B, breathe.
426
00:19:57,380 --> 00:19:59,383
I, identify the problem.
427
00:19:59,482 --> 00:20:01,118
Talia's on the brink
of firing me.
428
00:20:01,216 --> 00:20:05,522
I want to see if you can
take that corner
at 60 miles per hour.
429
00:20:05,622 --> 00:20:07,857
I just have to put a gun
in a safe deposit box.
430
00:20:07,957 --> 00:20:11,828
Alfred Pennyworth,
you sneaky little minx.
431
00:20:11,923 --> 00:20:12,997
You're robbing a bank!
432
00:20:13,096 --> 00:20:15,099
And I'm
the getaway driver, ah!
433
00:20:15,198 --> 00:20:16,666
T, tea break.
434
00:20:16,766 --> 00:20:18,135
Damn,
this is perfectly steeped.
435
00:20:18,234 --> 00:20:19,603
C, consider your options.
436
00:20:19,702 --> 00:20:23,807
H, time to handle this shit.
437
00:20:23,901 --> 00:20:27,811
Would you be so kind
as to add a few more
thousand to my attache?
438
00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:30,480
The jig is up, Alfred.
Drop the gun.
439
00:20:30,580 --> 00:20:31,881
I'm afraid I can't do that.
440
00:20:31,981 --> 00:20:34,184
Well, I can't let you
rob a freakin' bank.
441
00:20:34,283 --> 00:20:35,319
I'm calling for backup.
442
00:20:35,418 --> 00:20:36,620
I will not be stopped.
443
00:20:36,719 --> 00:20:38,222
Desperate times
call for desperate--
444
00:20:38,321 --> 00:20:39,556
Hey, look over there.
445
00:20:42,658 --> 00:20:44,694
Why are you doing this?
446
00:20:47,498 --> 00:20:48,832
Alfred, stop!
447
00:20:51,101 --> 00:20:52,436
Necktie, now!
448
00:20:54,937 --> 00:20:56,773
Stop!
What the hell are you doing?
449
00:20:56,873 --> 00:20:59,443
- I was just--
- You traitor.
You robbed a bank?
450
00:20:59,542 --> 00:21:01,778
I did indeed. Take me away.
451
00:21:01,878 --> 00:21:05,310
Harley, I'd never expect you
to rat on a friend.
452
00:21:05,415 --> 00:21:07,751
But that kind of clear,
decisive thinking
453
00:21:07,850 --> 00:21:10,087
is exactly what
hero instincts are.
454
00:21:10,187 --> 00:21:11,688
You're back on the team.
455
00:21:11,788 --> 00:21:13,590
Wow.
456
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,892
And all I had to do
was narc on the only person
who's been supportive of me?
457
00:21:15,992 --> 00:21:18,195
Why didn't
you tell me earlier?
458
00:21:18,294 --> 00:21:19,596
You've earned your Bat outfit.
459
00:21:19,696 --> 00:21:21,465
Snitches get stitches.
460
00:21:21,564 --> 00:21:23,767
You guys, it's gorge!
461
00:21:23,866 --> 00:21:25,635
Wait till Ivy sees me in this,
which she won't.
462
00:21:25,734 --> 00:21:27,137
Not in a personal
sex situation,
463
00:21:27,237 --> 00:21:29,373
only in an impersonal
work situation, of course.
464
00:21:34,444 --> 00:21:35,545
Bye, bitch.
465
00:21:43,419 --> 00:21:46,056
Oh, dear, wrinkle.
That won't do.
466
00:21:46,155 --> 00:21:48,993
Gramps, if you fold
that tea towel one more time,
467
00:21:49,092 --> 00:21:51,428
your neck can
kiss your head goodbye.
468
00:21:51,529 --> 00:21:53,297
My apologies.
469
00:21:53,395 --> 00:21:56,066
I'm just trying
to fold it exactly how
Master Bruce prefers it
470
00:21:56,166 --> 00:21:57,567
for our big reunion.
471
00:22:03,439 --> 00:22:04,774
This isn't Blackgate.
472
00:22:04,874 --> 00:22:07,477
Blackgate's for people
with stock portfolios.
473
00:22:07,577 --> 00:22:09,013
Everyone else has to go through
474
00:22:09,111 --> 00:22:11,815
the "social rehabilitation"
program at New Arkham.
475
00:22:11,914 --> 00:22:14,451
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Leave your tea towels
on the van.
476
00:22:14,551 --> 00:22:16,053
Oh, dear.
33603
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
