All language subtitles for Buna.Ce.Faci.2010.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

Hello! How are you?

Take everything. I don't wanna see
your things around after you've left.

Don't worry. I took everything.

Shall I II you?

- What's the point?
- You're right. I was just thinking...

Oh! My umbrella!

Don't come back.
Stay there, l'll get it for you.

Are you sure you've taken
everything else?

Yeah, I hope l have.

All right then. Goodbye.

Goodbye.

Call me though when you get there,

so I'll know nothing
happened to you on the way.

Never mind, I don't have
that much credit left anyway.

I'll beep you.

That's okay, loo.

Did you take your tailcoat?

Ohh! Could you get it for me
so I don't go back?

You're not at W unless
you forget something.

Sorry. Bye

Bye.

Why the heck do you come in like this?

Can't you knock!

Hey, didn't you hear
to close that door?

Excuse me, baby, I didn't know you
had company...

Won't you introduce me
to your girlfriend?

She's not my girlfriend.

Isn't she'!

Sorry for the misunderstanding.

But you seemed really
good friends when I stepped in.

Oh! You're mocking me?

Weren't you the one saying it wouldn't be
a problem if I brought chicks in?

And so did dad.

Yeah, but we were thinking that...
well...

...that you would talk,
listen to music, watch a movie.

And where are
we supposed to have sex?

In the park?

I'd rather you had
other interests at your age.

You're amazing!

And when should I get lid?

When I am old and bored
just like you and dad?

Your dad and l are not bored at all.

We are just two respectable people.

Oh, yeah! That's why he
falls asleep in front of the TV

and you holding a book.

You hardly get laid
once every two months.

Vladimir, you're counting
too much on me

not having slapped
you in recent years.

Yeah, whatever... Sorry.

But I told you, if only you got me
a god damn computer...

Who knows what kind of crap
you will lean with that!

I know there are all kinds of perverted
things with those computes!

I know there are all kinds of perverted
things with those computes!

There are no seats left. That’s it!
Go back home! All the seats are taken!

How are you, Gabi?

Fine...

We're not taking that old piece of crap
this time, but an air conditioned bus.

Are you coming, Silvia?

I'll have a smoke first.

Do you have a light?

Oh, sorry! You don't smoke!

You can't come!
Don't you get it? Stop it!

Are you ashamed of me or what?

That's it!
Don't start it all over again!

Really, do you have to do this
every time I leave?

Yes, you know
you know it very well.

I thought we put a stop to it.
I thought we finally got over this.

I'll sit next to you, Gabi dear.

How's your Gabi?

My wife? Fine, as usual.

Listen, are you sharing the room
with Marcel?

I don't know, we haven't talked
about it yet.

What a bitch! lf she could,
she'd put him on a leash.

Did you cut your hair?
It seemed longer...

Are you really interested or you're
just pretending for Cornelia's sake?

Why didn't I fall in love with you?

Not such a big deal... I'm married too.

I honestly bell you there was a moment
when I said to myself: I give up.

The thought of the International
Congress of Psychology was the only

thing that kept me going.

But why? Didn't you deal
with anything so important before?

Never.

Symposiums, diplomatic meetings,

but never a congress

Thing is, I panicked.

It seems you are even more
efficient when you panic.

What would I have done at
the congress if it weren't for you?

Well... you would have been
just fine.

That's not true.
I would have been a joke.

Of course, I had another option,
a beige one,

but it's hardly the sane!

Had someone told me before
that an oyster sauce stain

could ever be removed
from a white shirt,

I would have told him off!

You're am artist of your kind!

May it bring you luck
at the Congress!

Thank you. It sure will.

Goodbye, ma'am!

Oh! Could you hold on for a minute

so I may ill in your data
on the computer...

Toooony!

Coming!

Good-afternoon!

Help me out!

Name!

Luxury Dry Cleaner

Would you like a pancake, guys?

I made them this morning,
chocolate filling and still warm.

Pass me one.

Do you want one Gabi?

I can't eat sweets in the morning.

Seriously? isn't that something!

I'll save one and ask you again later.

Listen! What about a schnitzel?
I made some for the ride.

Yummy! They're actually good!

I'm not hungry.
I ate with my wife before I left.

Ah! That's why you're not hungry.

I'll give it to you later,
when you're hungry.

Or did your wife pack you a lunch box?

No... she didn't.

Great! I'll give you a schnitzel.
And then pancakes.

Who are you sharing your room with?

I don't know,
I haven't arranged ii yet.

Oh! I'm by myself.

Natalia, sweetheart, don't you have
an extra pancake?

I don't understand anything at all.
It's written in gibberish.

These people teach you as
if you already knew it.

As if you were passionate and wanted
to chit chat on the topic

it's really annoying.

Don't worry. We'll stay after work
today and I'll show you all about it.

It's really easy.

If you buy me a been
I'll explain until you get it

What... you drink beer?

No...not a sip...

Only a six pack in one go!

Miki taught me.

Who's Miki?

A guy. My boyfriend-

Wasn't Dani his name?

Forget about that moron!

He gets out only as far as
the end of his umbilical cord!

What do you mean?

He's a momma's boy, bow!

He won't drink coke in the evening
'cause mom doesn't allow it,

he won't smoke
'cause mom doesn't let him.

When he unzips he calls her to ask
what the next move should be.

Thanks, but no thanks.

What are you doing with those?

Don't you ever do this again!
Do you hear' me? Never!

First read the label,

see how much cotton there is
if any.

This one is 60% cotton
and the other is 80%.

Would you put them together?

No.

Check the labels!

60%

and 80%.

Well, how did you know it?

After so many year; you
get to know these things

Let's scram before Silvia shows up!

What about these?

Leave them here.
Don't we have a concert tomorrow?

Come on, slop fidgeting!
That lunatic is coming.

Well, I see you've learnt this

but let's say you filled in
wrong data for a client.

A whole row.
What do you do then?

I select ii and press "de-le-te".

"Delete".

And if you want to copy something
from one place to another?

I press 'wow' and

Boss, you rock!
Is then-zany beer left?

Of course, You said a pack,
I bought a pack

So we can say that this little toy
over here has no more secrets for me.

Huh...not so fast...

Drag the mouse to the comer...y h,

just like that...and now press
connect, good, below that red thing.

Good, put the arrow on OK and click.

What's that? Stop it! Do something!

Click twice up there.

I can't believe it!

Gosh!

This is a computer trick, right?

No, boss, these black guys
have it that long.

And now drag the little
arrow straight on it and slick.

I told her you needed
to send an urgent e-mail

and you couldn't manage on your own,
so you asked for my help...

Why in God's name would you lie to her?

Why not bell her that you don't
like being with her anymore?

Because it doesn't work
that way with women.

If you say such things
they lose their temper

and from then on
they're capable of anything.

Even of going to your wife
and telling her the whole truth.

She could ruin my marriage.

Yes, that would be a shame...

Really...
You don't like Natalia at all?

I do. She's really pretty.

Pretty?!

She has an XXL mouth and
legs to drive you crazy.

Well, obviously she has nice legs.
She's a ballerina after all.

By the way,
why did she come on this tour?

We didn't have any ballet performance

Boy, you're something for the book
of records, mark my words

For you, smut ass

What the heck, man!
None of them is at home?

And now click on it.

Wait to connect.

I'll show you the coolest
chatroom around.

Only cool guys
and no strings attached

Hello! How are you?

And what do I say now?

Well, what! can you say? I'll go
outside for a while, Miki's here.

Now you know what to do.

Fine, what about you?

Come on, I logged you on the
coolest chat room around.

Only hot chicks looking for sex.

Give it a shot..

I'll call you when Luminita leaves.

Surf sound, see what comes up.
Just surf...

I'm surfing around

Are you at sea?

No. Surfing is what
we’re doing right now:

Oh! I'm sorry! I'm so dumb!

No, you’re not.
I don't know much about it either:

It's the first time
I do this with somebody

It's my first time too

This tape is actually recorded by me.

I'm not an impersonator
of myself oral impostor.

It's really me, on a day
of my life when I was 17.

At that time I could still walk
around without handing autographs

It's best to leave something behind,
some papers,

for people to know what your youth
was like, so afterwards others

won't invent God knows what stories
about you and make loads of money

As a safety measure, from now on I'll
also talk about the girls I screw

so the cunts won? start bragging
about me fucking them

and get loaded too

I've already slept with plenty,

because from an early age
I've stood out in high school

due to my manly attributes.

Last night, for instance,

I fucked one on the washing machine,

Loredana...something...

From new on I'll ask for their full
name to avoid confusions in posterity.

Screwing on the washing
machine isn't a big deal

The chick said it'd be cool to
turn it on so it would shake her

l don't know what the hell l pressed
but just when we were coming,

l felt water at my feet.

The whole bathroom was
flooded up to the hallway

It went limp immediately and
the chick went mad, obviously.

What are you doing?

She didn't give a shit 'cause it
wasn't her carpet(,it was mine.

I sent her away and started to
mop up the water from the floor.

Shithead!

By the time I blow-dried the
carpet and what not,

it was about 3 in the morning.

Two hours latex; at 5,
my mother came home.

Vladimir! You seared me!

You smoke'!!

Could I know what the deal is?

You both ran away from home or what?

Your father is on tour in Pascani,
didn't I tell you?

Oh! I forgot to tell you.

And where me you while that man
is working his ass off flipping pages?

Me?!

I went to

I was at

But what is this, the Inquisition?
And since when are you smoking?

Gosh! You have some nerve, don't you?
You come home at 5 in the morning,

Smelling like a brewery

and you expect me to hide
the cigarette when I see you?!

You don't give a shit about me,
both of you.

Forgive me, Vladimir...
I really didn't think you'd notice

Are you insane or what?

You don't leave home
on New Year’s Eve!

How the hell could I not notice that

for the first time in my life
I was home done?

And what was I supposed to think?

That something happened to one of you
and the other rushed to the hospital.

You're driving me crazy, you know!

Forgive me. PI .

I don't expect you to wait for me
with fond on the table

as my normal mother does,

but just give me a call

"look, Vladimir,
baby, your dad's on tour in Pascani

and mum wants to screw all night long

and will come home
drunkenly in the morning.

That's how they do in
in civilized families.

Come here!

What now?!

I said come here.

I don't know who you are any more.

Yeah... fine, man! I m n you come
home drunk at five in the morni...

In the end, she slapped me, I twitched
and got an instant headache..

I don't want to hear you anymore.

but my hands were tied, because she
gave me life and l couldn't hit her

Maybe I should have
a serious talk with my dad,

I think the chick is
screwing Hound and he's clueless.

What happened to you, boy?
When have you been until now?

Sorry for waking you up.
I came in as quietly as I could.

You didn't wake me up

I called you around a quarter to 12
to tell you that Luminita had gone and

you didn't answer.

It's been turned on silent
since the show.

Go to sleep, don't wake up for good.

Can't you see I am wide awake?!

Tell me what you did all night...
When have you been?

Well...
When could I have been?

When you left me.
Did you join the beds?

Yeah. Luminita is the effusive type.

And what did you do there
all this time?

I met a woman

Marcel... she's...

You've been chatting all night?!

Not chatting. Surfing with a woman.

Surfing my foot...
You rocked the boat.

And what did you talk about all night long?

Well, about...

Nothing. We talked about nothing.

Let's slap, good night!

It's really me,

I'm not an impersonator of myself
or a fan.

For some time now, I've been thinking to go for a career in adult movies.

They earn loads of money and in ten
year’s time you can quit the job

and stop working for the rest of your life.

I hope they'll make me screw
as many chicks as I can...

I've never tried it
with more than one at a time.

If you do it more times in a row
with one girl,,

it's not like doing it with more.

Once I came very close to doing it
with two chicks in the chemistry lab

but that asshole Porancea
came in and the gang split up.

What's the plan?

He didn't rat on us
to the class teacher

but he surely told someone cause
all the chicks in high school

started looking at me with
the G-spot in their eyes

#sometimes wonder

who I take my virility
after and I can't really tell

What's the plan?

What plan

Well, I'd like to...if you want
to walk around for while...

Yes..don't worry, I won't come
to the room. I have a date.

Oh! 'Then I'll join you so Silvia n
see I'm busy and then we split.

Fine, hurry up then.
I don't want to be late.

Let's go!

Hold on!

Hold on!

Tibi's hem. lsn't he handsome?

Tibi? Didn't you say Miki?

I don't talk to that moron any more.

Good bye, boss

Bye, Toni. Good night!

Hey! Are you there?

I'm here..

What do you like most?

Most?! First and foremost

Mom
My feet touching the bottom of the sea

Radishes

You?

Mom

Any kind of spirals

Unwritten sheets of paper

That's right

Can I help you?

No.

Nobody cm help me.

So what do you do for a living?

What do I do for a living...right...
what do I do...dam n...

I help people cheer up You?

Well... an intellectual. I knew it

The intellectual and the laundry lady.

I help people look good

Wooow! Plastic surgery

I'd like to be a kangaroo
in its mother's pouch.

If I vanished away by magic,

nobody would notice.

I know what you mean.

I had my hair cut once

and nobody noticed

#cried

I got bald and nobody noticed

Bald men have rhythm.

Where did you get that from?!

My vast life experience.

I'd like to take myself off
as if I were a coat.

And wear somebody else.

I offer free self-undressing lessons.

I'm an expert

How are your hands?

beautiful I think

Look I put them on your shoulders.

Natalia... what are you doing here?
God, you scared me!

Sony, Gabi, I didn't want
to scare you

Marcel is with Luminita in my room.

Silvia's after them so they're
hiding. They sent me to sleep in here.

I didn't want to scare you.

It's ok. I'll go out for a walk.

- Am I ugly?
- Sorry?!

Why don't you like me?
Am I ugly or what?

Natalia, you are very beautiful
and you know it

Then why won't you?

God! You startled me!

It's none of my business where
you've been and what you've done.

But if in three days' time you don't
con dad into getting me a computer,

I'll tell him his family man's
honor is a mess.

This sounds like blackmail.

It doesn't just “sound”, it really is.

I'm tired of being the only loser
in my class without a computer

while you some home at five a.m.

I won't start it again 'cause I don't
want you to become violent.

This ain't the right approach
to get something from me.

There was definitely
something fishy about it.

When dad came home from the tour
she would stick to us like a leech

so that we could not be alone
for a second

One should never trust women.

What is it?
Why are you staring at me?

I'm not.

I mean...l was looking at..
how pretty you are.

Yeah, right...what's with you?

Or...are you in the mood for...'!

For...

certainly... if you want to, why not?

Wait a second...

I don't want to...only if you...

I mean I want to...
but I thought you were tiled.

No, why should I be? I didn't
exhaust myself working or anything...

No. I mean yes, I want to...

I'm not tired.

All right, men...

Listen, do you have a relationship?

To be honest, yes

Ohhh, you're right!

To be honest, me too.

Sony...did I pull your hair?

Yes Move your elbow a little.

Mmm...you smell so well...

Listen, have you set the alarm?

Ohhh, you're right!

If I'm late for the general rehearsal
tomorrow, I'm dead.

Dan n it! It's twelve already?

What? God! Six hours of sleep left.
I'll be all dizzy tomorrow.

Listen... Maybe we should get
the kid a computer.

He's been asking us for so long.

Are you asleep or didn't you hear me?

I'm not asleep. I was thinking.

So what! do you say?

He says everyone in his class
has got one.

Fine. We'll buy a computer.

Next day the computer was on my desk

lt was an easy victory
But it made me a bit sad

I'm wondering if my dad
has any suspicion at all

When I was kid and he had concerts,
he was a completely different guy.

He was a very good piano player
and he had concerts abroad too.

He used to bring me stuff from abroad.

Once he brought me a
baseball" glove from America.

Bye love.

...Quit college...

she wanted to become
a psychologist or a shrink.

She quit so she could take care of me and
dad, who was attending the Conservatory

Now she's working at a dry cleaner's

We always have
clean sheets and shirts

but it would've been cooler with her
in white gown and high heels

and people coming in,
lying on the sofa

and telling her stuff
about their life.

I don't know why but...

the image of the sofa
and the doctor is really cool.

After that... my dad had the
accident and it was all over.

It sucked big time after the accident,
cause he had to give up playing and

started flipping pages while people
loss talented than him performed.

He's still going abroad,
but only to flip pages

He behaves as if it were ok,
but I know it's not.

I guess mum also knows it's not ok.

Things have changed
between them ever since.

Before, I used to see dad
caressing her hair

or telling her, in front of other
people, that she is very beautiful.

Now..I don't know,
they don't really mind about each other

Mum blames herself for the accident,

dad says that's stupid
that fate is to blame.

We were sitting at the table
and mum asked him

to get a jar of horseradish
from the pantry

He rummaged around and got his index
finger caught in a mouse trap.

And he couldn't play anymore
because of that index finger

It was a big fuss in the newspapers

He even went to Germany for surgery
but they couldn't do anything.

So no more concerts ever since

I have some CDs of
dad's performances at home..

I think it's cool

but I can't carry a tune, so I
wouldn't know if he made any mistake

Wow! I can't believe my eyes! Gabi!
What are you doing around here?

Nothing. I was on my way home.
I wanted to walk so I made a detour

- What are you doing here?
- I live in the neighborhood.

By the
you've never dropped by.

Let me treat you with
coffee and amandine cakes.

I've got amandine cakes

Natalia, you mean me ham.

Do you know how to use it?
Can you manage?

Of course! How couldn't I'!! Any
idiot knows..they teach us in school.

Be careful not to break it,
it cost a lot of money.

You can't break a computer, mum.

Only if you pour honey in it,
or God knows Whit else.

Do you need anything or
are you just spying on me?

Just spying, and meaning to
ask you to take the trash out

Ok.

Like now. It's filled to the brim.

What are you doing there?

You freaked me out!
Why are you sneaking like this?

I wasn't sneaking.
Just entering the room.

You know how to use that thing?

Not really. You know we've got one at
the dry cleaner's and I can't manage.

I was curious if this one
is the sane.

Anything I can do for you?

No. I saw Vladimir going out

and I thought I'd have a look
at how...this thing works.

But if you're checking it out

No. I was just looking

...but I am dumb as a brick.

I don't understand a thing.

You take a look.

- I-low was it today?
- How was what?

I don't know...what you did today
Was the preview ok?

Did you go out afterwards?

Nooo...it was boring...
we all went home.

Why do you ask?

Just like that... I was curious.

God, I forgot the pasta on the cooker

What are you looking at?

Nothing.

I was checking this toy out.

Do you know how to use it?

Me? How could I?

Then how did you land in the chat room?

No clue...

Why don't you answer?

Where are you?

Are you there?

Where are you?

Good afternoon, ma'am.

Can I offer you a lift?

Yes, thank you.

How are you, Silvia?

Fine, guys. You?

Well, just talking, guys

and then rush back home to the wives
...else we sleep on the doormat...

What can you do...life is hash...

Hey"-

Shall we go?

Bye.

Did you know they hooked up?

No.

Nice piece of meal that Silvia.

Isn't that your wife?

I couldn't see.
She looked like her but...it wasn't her.

She has no reason to be around here.

Off I go...see you tomorrow.

Listen!

Never mind...

Are you there?

Where are you?

I'm here..

I thought you won't be coming back.

Where were you

#tried to dump you.

Md?

I think we have a small problem.

I need you.

Oh, my

It's really me.

I'm not an impersonator
of myself or some crazy fan.

Looks like it was worth the effort of
making my parents buy the computer

I found out on the internet about
an audition for a porn flick.

I waited in the hallway
in a line of about 50 guys

among whom
l was the best specimen.

It sucks that I'm not
of age yet but..

All the chicks say I look older
than I am, so I'll go and say I'm 19.

I'm not saying I'll nail it for sure,,

but at least it'll be interesting.

Strip!

They made me show my dick

I proved them I had no problem
undressing because I look cool

Then they brought in a chick
a few years older than me

but deadly gorgeous.

And they said we could fool around

it's burning me like hell.

What's this?

Rice and milk, baby.

Last night I didn't get a
moment of sleep

thinking of what to do with my life.

I know for sure
I'll end up famous and rich,

but I haven't figured out how yet(.

Weird things are happening at home.

My old mm is crazy about chatting.

I caught him once
while he was chatting.

He didn't want
to admit it obviously,

he would have
made a fool of himself

but I suspect he has
a chick on the net.

Maybe I should talk to my mom...

Nope... I didn't tell him about her
fooling around while he was in Pascani either:

Anyways... It's pretty weird
to find out that your parents

are as depraved as you are.

Oh! There's a chick in my class
who gets on my nerves.

Jipescu Miruna.

An unbearable geek,

full of pimples on her forehead

and who doesn't do anything
but read all day long.

Apart from her beautiful eyes
she sucks big time.

I think she's one of the most
uncool chicks in the class

Why didn't you attend the sport class?

I'm dismissed. I'm preparing
for the Physics Olympics.

Bummer!

Listen...

When do you hang out in the evening?

How cm I meet you?

Maybe she has nice tits

but I can't really tell 'cause she's
always bent over a book

She told me yesterday
that she despises me.

I despise you!

She was looking at me as if I were a

She's dreadful

Name.

I told you he's not Romanian...

Uhh... the day after tomorrow.

Boss, how do I say
the day after tomorrow?

No, that means tomorrow.
I don't know the day after tomorrow.

Toni...

The truth is l have a date...here.

So I'd be grateful if you left earlier...

Forgive me. I'm an idiot.
There, I'm gone. I'm leaving.

Good bye, boss!

Bye, Toni! Good night!

Are you still there?

Yes

You don't know how much
l miss you all the time.

But l do.

You scared me
I thought you'd never come back.

Don't be silly.

You are my most precious incident

Gabi, sweetheart, how are you?

Ah! Good evening, Matilda!
I was just...working...on something.

Can I help you?

No, Gabi, Whit cm you help me with?
I wanted to see you two.

Gabi isn't I home...
she hasn't arrived yet...

lately she is working overtime

I was just in the middle
of something and...

Gabi, sweetheart, are you ok!

Yeah.

I can't stay with you any longer
I got something to do.

I'll tell Gabi you stopped by,

she'll be so glad to hear that

Bye.

I think I've fallen in love with you.

I fell in love right from the start

What should we do?

Nothing, I think.
It's fine the way it is.

I could talk to you forever

I keep looking at people
wondering which of them is you

I'm an athletic type of guy

How will I recognize you?

I have a glass eye.

I'll blink to you.

Did you see how beautiful
the moon was last night?

Have you seen the sink pump anywhere?

Yes Ifs on the balcony. Don't ask
me how it got (hem, I have no id .

Yeah... it looked just like
a fingernail clipping.

How about sending me a photo of you?

I haven't got any recent ones

Send me one of you.

You should bring such news mole often.

Come on, mum, don't be so happy,
I'm not retarded.

I didn't know you were so eager for straight
A's I would've brought you more.

I'm not eager for A’s, I just
want you to be as good as it gets,

so it'll be easier later.

I'm not interested in grades.

Next week is my birthday.

I'd like to celebrate it

What do you mean?
How would you celebrate it?

Well...

I'd have some friends over, not many,
about four guys and four chicks,

get some beer for the guys,
some juice for the chicks...

mum makes some

you go out for a movie till later...
that's about it...

I'll be 18 after all, right?

Yes, this right. You'll be 18

Boy, how time goes by!

Let's celebrate his birthday!
Why shouldn't we?

Those girls he's hanging with...

Vladimir... those girls you are
hanging with are very...

They are too slutty,

I'm not at ease with you bringing
so many people, you're capable of...

Fine, thanks a lot.

I figured you wouldn't let me be
happy for once in my lifetime.

You think we should let him, don't you?

Yeah...

I don't tum around when guys honk at me

but he clung to me
like a fly to honey.

I turned around to set him straight
but what do you know, boss?

He had an awesome car!
I thought I'd drop dead.

It was Richard!

Richard who?

That Dutchman, boss, who came here
yesterday when you were in a hurry

He followed you?

Well, he didn't

When I left he was driving
out the car park and

I knew from the start he liked me, boss

Didn't you see he gave me
his business card?

I like him like crazy.

And he's also great in...

in what?

In...you know.

WW! When did you have the time
to End that out?

Right then.

We kissed till we couldn't breathe,
then he said “let's go to my place”

and so we went and
There he is, boss!

Can I take a couple of hours off?

Go, but be careful child,
because you really...

'Tibi? What about him?

If he shows up, tell him
I've got... the measles.

No...ticklish scarlet fever.

Tell him I'm in the hospital
with an infectious disease.

He'd better leave me alone, boss.

He's got nothing on his mind
but motorbikes.

He's got this stuff for cleaning.

Make him an invoice, no discount
or anything 'cause he's loaded.

Richard, darling, I quit my job
if you aren't married.

Good afternoon...

Good afternoon, lovely lady!

Will you talk to me, even though
my clothes don't need cleaning?

Yes, professor.

Would like a little psychoanalysis
or what?

The truth is... I kinda do...

I see no point
in beating sound the bush.

I like you. A lot.

I know you are married and I assume
you intend to keep it that way.

The ball is in your corner

My problem is not really my marriage

but me being very in love.

Very!

With your husband?

No.

I guess...neither with me.

Neither.

I haven't got any recent photos either.

Let's just meet

What are you doing, Gabi?

I'm fine, Gabi.

Did you start smoking again?

No. It's the first

The first cigarette since we quit,
12 years ago.

What about you?

It's my first one since we quit, too.

But you've already hogged
the smoking place.

It's a sign I shouldn't smoke it.

It's no sign...

Come here!
Let's smoke the peace pipe.

Are you in love with somebody else?

Me?

Yes You.

No.

You?

Are you in love with somebody else?

No.

When shall we meet?

As soon as possible

Why give up your job?

Wait for another month or two
and if it is meant to be...

you will be stuck with each other

for the rest of your life,
till you get sick of it.

He told me to forget about dirty
clothes and join him to Vietnam

when he's been sent for two months

And afterwards?

Well, I don't know, we'll go lo his place
in Holland, home of tulips.

Come on, boss, don't be upset

What am I supposed to do?
It's fate!

Fine Toni, do as you please.

I won't nag you because
I'm not your mother,

but you should know
I didn't like his shirts

What's wrong with them?

They're shirts of a married man.

Boss, you're being very negative.

Are you sum?

Forgive me,
I am a dreadful fortuneteller.

Look, if you want to, go for a walk,
I'll stay here.

I don't feel like walking, thanks.

In fact I'd go out for awhile
and return later...

The day after tomorrow, at 3?

The day after tomorrow at 3.

I'm in the bathtub.

It's me, can't hold it any more.

What is it?

Pee.

Fine, go ahead.

Do you think I'm beautiful

Yes

God, what happened to your eye?

Why didn't you show up yesterday?

Tell me, Toni!

Did Tibi do this to you?

No, boss

The Russian woman beat me.
The Dutchman's wife.

The Dutchman is married
to a Russian woman?

Yes What an asshole.

And he's Russian too.

Yesterday I went straight
to his home and...

his wife opened. SM pulled me in
and started hitting me.

Well, wasn't he there too?

He was, boss, poor bastard!

He got it worse than me.

Come on! She beat the Dutchman too?

He's not Dutch, boss. He's Russian.

And she beat the shit out of him.

She kept shouting in Russian -
Boris this Boris that

and I couldn't understand a thing.

Only that she's his wife cause

she kept sticking her
wedding ring in my eyes.

Damn jerk!

If you could only see him, naked
and tied up to the bed.

I don't know how she fooled him.

I guess she pretended
they were in 9 1/2 weeks

and instead of that,
she beat him black and blue.

She had a knife and
threatened to cut off his..

Oh! His what?

The thingy.

She was barking at him in Russian.
It gave me the chills.

And he was whining in Russian too.
I didn't get a thing boss..

...Except I'm not getting married.

It's safe new! The nut has left.

Did you see that bitch, boss?

Yes. She is fierce. Fooling around
with those Russian women isn't smart.

Boss..

She could be Bengali for all I care, boss.

If he's married I'm not interested,

even if he's covered in gold.

Why do married people
trouble the unmarried, boss?

You tell me 'calm you've been
married for such a long time

Well, you married people get bored.

They don't have much to say
to each other...

Then they should get
a fucking divorce!

More?

No. This enough. it's late.

When can Vladimir be?

It's Wednesday. Don't you know
he has basketball on Wednesdays?

He asked me for some
money to buy sneakers.

- Yes.

Do we still have that bottle of
champagne from New Year's Eve?

Yes. Why?

Let's drink ii!

You want meta open the bottle?

What's the occasion?

The occasion is..
that we are together

and Vladimir is turning eighteen

and... we love each other
after so many years.

Screw that champagne, we don't
really need an occasion to drink it.

Open it and let's go into the bedroom!

Fine. I'll do it

Finished? May I wash it

Hello. Good evening...

Oh my! What's wrong with you?

I've got a headache and I feel dizzy.
I'm toast.

Oh! Did you catch a cold?

Let's go to your room,
I'll give you a vinegar' massage.

I'll bring you dinner to bed.

In fact I have more
than a relationship

I'm a full-time wife. And mother.

I'm married too. I also have a child

Adultery is humiliating.

I can't believe I'm doing it.

Have you changed your mind?

Do you still want to meet me?

No.

Fine.

Maybe yes

Fine.

I don't know. You decide.
You are the man.

#just wanna see you.

Sorry...

Gabi?

What have you done to your hair?

I was I the hairdressers..

I thought...

I was bored with...

What? You don't like ii?

Oh, I like it.. I'm just not used to

you look like a different person

What are you doing around here?

Well, the hairdresser's is
up the street

and now I was looking for a bus stop.

What are you doing here?

I had a rehearsal two blocks away.

I was going to...

Home.

When are you going?

I had to take care of

but I n do it tomorrow.

Let's go home together

I'm sorry

Me too.

Mum?! Dad? What are you doing?

Have you dyed you hair?

Stop shouting!
The whole bus is watching.

It's me,

not an Impersonator of
myself or some impostor.

I haven't recorded anything lately

because a lot of stuff
happened

First, I started learning Physics

I figured out that any subject
you know very well is ok.

Any of them may be a ticket
to celebrity status

What's the big deal?

To know that shitty subject better
than anyone in your class.

Then better than anyone
in the school, in town,

in the country,
in Europe and worldwide.

Invent two or three simple things
nobody has ever thought of,

but which are very important
for mankind.

Then you won't have to do much
for the rest of your life.

So far, I tested it on my classmates.

For two weeks I've been cramming
Physics 24 hours a day,

I've had very little sleep, just
enough not to flake out

and I've crushed
everyone in my class.

I'm in for the regional Olympiad. Just
me and someone else from my class,

I don't know if I ever mentioned her,
Jipescu Miruna.

- How was the show?
- Fine.

What did they may?

Honestly? I have no idea.

You can't not know.
You were on stage, reading the notes

Yes Why are you so surprised?
I wasn't the one playing.

What do you mean?
Is this an accusation or what?

It's no accusation.

I just told you I wasn't
the one playing, other guys did.

A lot worse than you, I know.
You told me a thousand times.

I've never said such a thing.

Even if you didn't say it out loud,
you mean it all the way.

You mean it all the time.
Especially when you are silent.

I know exactly what your silence says.

You're paranoid.

I'm not, trust me,
I know these things better than you.

I know them by heart.

Maybe you forgot, but you aren't
the only loser in this couple.

Could we shut the fuck up until we
get to (that God damn movie?

I've got love, and no use for it

l need it

Saturday was my birthday and some
high school mates came over.

#invited the geek foo,

we're on the same
Olympiad team after all

we represent the high school, right?

Around 7PM, six friends
and some snappy chicks

from high school came by.

Mum and dad were really cool cause
they left me a fridge packed

with food and drinks
and went to see a movie.

The music was on,
my buddies were dancing,

l decided to go
and get more beers.

And right then, it happened...

as l was going back with the
cold bottles in my hands,

I remember my fingers
got stuck on them,

everything started
to move in slow motion

like in the movies

and I suddenly realized those people
did not belong in my house

I mean my parents' house

l remembered my mom,

how nice she's sometimes
when she's making me pancakes,

my dad sitting quietly in his tailcoat
flipping pages during concerts,

though he's better than the guys playing

I don't know how to explain this...

Get the fuck out of here,
I've got a major headache.

Do you think we'd bother him
if we go now?

Yes, probably.

Let's walk for a while.
You don't tum 18 every day...

True...how time goes by.

Feels like yesterday, when we took
that third wheel off his bike.

God, how he was crying!

As if we were sending him to the death row.

I felt pity for him but didn't let him
see it. It was the least I could do.

I loved him so.

And he loved us

You say it as if
you didn't love him anymore.

Of course! love him.
I may not like him, though.

Really?

But you were ecstatic
when he got that A in physics.

Yes. l liked him then.
It was as if he were little again.

Let's make him a surprise!

What surprise?

I don't remember how they all left,
but I realized I was alone

and decided to scold that geek
for standing me up...

Why didn't you come?

Yeah, but I kicked them all out,
so that you could come.

I need you to come.

You can't turn down a person
on his 18th anniversary.

You can't. You are not allowed to.
It's his birthday. He's 1&

I told her she couldn't turn a person
down on his 18th anniversary.

She hung up, I was alone and cried

more than I ever cried in my life,,
even in my childhood.

I went to open up for my folks,

I was sure it was them...

they had been away longer
than they promised anyway

and when I opened the door

the geek was there in the doorway.
Jipescu, flesh and blood.

She was dressed in a geek dress and
she was very beautiful.

So? Is there any more cake?
Or you ate it all?

We stayed up all night
until we both fell asleep,

she on my bed and I on a blanket,
on the floor.

Which side do you wanna sleep on?
Which side do you wanna sleep on? or door?

What? I don't know. You choose.

Window-side, if you don't want it.

Although the emperor penguin
is a sea creature

and gets its food solely from the water;

its nest is well sheltered by a wall of ice,
along distance from the shore.

Because birds incubate during the winter...

Tum off the light.
The mosquitoes will get in.

...until the chicks become independent.

For this reason, some birds travel'
as far as 300 kilometers...

If only I thought of bringing my book...

...the male incubates for 40 days...

You want me to change the channel?

What channel?
There's nothing but crap on.

Right.
There's nothing to choose from.

I told you.

Good night

Good night

The receptionist thought we were lovers.

Really? Could be...

Can you imagine how many come here
and take a mom by the hour.

Could you?

I don't know.
You can't know until you try it

Matilda says you have a mistress

She says she dropped by once
and you didn't let her in.

Is that true?

What exactly?

Did she come
and you didn't let her in?

Yes

Were you with a mistress in the house?

No.

I was on the toilet.
I got up to answer the door

and I wanted to go back
as soon as possible.

Matilda thinks you're a big

when you're a big sh...shi...tter...

Or maybe I'm just a good liar.

Maybe-

Are you sleeping with Natalia?

Natalia who?

So you do sleep with her.

If you mean the ballerina
in our ballet troupe,

than I don't.
Do you believe me?

There are mosquitoes here.

You see it? When is it?

Come on, Gabi... what are you
looking at? Do something!

Are you a man or what the heck?

Fine, I'll show you how it's done.

Come on, Gabi, it got away.
Why don't you focus?

What do you mean? Are you crazy?
Look, it's there. I killed it.

That's mine. I've killed it just now.

Don't brag cause you didn't kill TL

You killed one there and
one there...this is mine...

You mean I don't know my own mosquito?

Aren't you ashamed
to brag with my executions?

#dreamt of you fast night.

I felt you last night

The regional Olympiad is in two day’s time.

If we both get a ten, we'll go
to Cluj, for the national contest

I want to walk through Cluj
with that geek Jipescu.

She won't probably
let me hold her hand,

but it will still be special: just the
two of us there and no familiar faces.

And if we get a ten there as well, we’ll go
together to the European Olympiad in Venice.

Don't tell me I won't get laid
with Jipescu there,

no matter what a smart geek she is

I'll stop now, I have to study.

Ready! This is it! 'They said it's
after the second commercial bleak.

The Regional Physics Olympics
took place today

That's me, you see?

It's gone...

Behind the girl with 'the black t-shirt.

Look, that's the sleeve
of my orange shirt!

Did you see me d least?
You spot me out?

Sure. Behind the girl with the
black t-shirt. You look good on TV.

I don't know why
they showed so little.

Most of the time
that camera was on me...

Did you see me, mum?

Of course, I'm not blind...

They focused on you mostly...
maybe because of the orange shirt..

Excuse me, can I have
a minute of your time?

What does "rancorously" mean?

You really got words
I'm so

"rancorously"?

Something anchoring people?

No.

Let him say cause he's smart!

I guess rancorously means
revengeful, right?

Mars right Thank you.

I was a little nervous too.

Thank you very much. Goodbye.

Let's ask other people
strange Romanian words

What?

We had just left from work
and a woman stopped us

Two people ran eat ice cream in
the street without getting laid.

Some people have three meds
at home without getting lid.

Take us for instance.

Is that a reproach?

Don't count on it.

I'm not begging you.

It was only the acknowledgment
of a pathetic reality.

Gabi,

I can't believe we
are using this tone...

when did you feel like
getting lid and I didn't?

Have you ever felt like getting
laid for the last few years?

I didn't know these things add up.

At the hotel...
on Vladimir's birthday...

That doesn't count.
It was a sort of perversion.

You would have imagined
you were with one of your chicks

in a room rented by the hour.

Look, I'm in the mood right now.
Do you want to?

You're nice but
I really don't feel like it.

I'm rancorous.

Maybe you feel like it with the
Porsche guy you hang out with?

I want to see you.

It's me,

not an impersonator of myself
or God knows who else.

I took a huge break in recording, I
had reasons to and lot to tell about.

First and foremost, I went to
Cluj with that geek Jipescu

and I spent the best three days
of my life.

Not only did she let me hold her

You couldn't imagine
the erupting volcano inside that geek

We were close to getting laid,

but we both decided it would be
a shame not to save that for Venice.

So we could say
all has gone well for me.

Except the fact that my folks
are getting a divorce.

My dad's already moved
to a rented studio

and he's left me and
my mum in the apartment

I felt really sorry when
they told me they're breaking up.

I begged them so much, I even cried.

Eventually my dad took me for a
man to man conversation

and told me he and mum don't
love each other anymore

and it's a shame for people to live
without love, like vegetables

A few days ago my dad invited me
to a concert at the Athenaeum

and I had a major surprise.

He wasn't on the front stage flipping pages

but among the people
from the orchestra.

From time to time he gently touched
a triangle with magical sound.

I thought he was the coolest guy
on the whole stage.

My mom is a little sad,

she's trying to be brave
but I see she's not happy.

Instead she started to attend classes
at a private psychology school.

She asked for my opinion and
l told her it's cool.

you know what I think of
women doctors on high heels

and patients lying on sofas.

Are you there?

Yes